#nowhere county hood

[grimbunnies]

Circe: I will bring you back. The samples are growing. I just need a bit more time...

[theprolificshop]

Reborn Hoodie

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

Small town au stuff

Philza is kindhearted yet oddly knowledgeable and mysterious resident who seems wiser beyond his years and may or may not be a witch. Especially questionable is that giant ass hat of his. Maybe a witch. He is retired and has a suspiciously large income, and somehow knows how to fly a plane?!! Maybe a retired vet or spy? Its undetermined. Or maybe just your basic crop duster. He does talk about potatoes a lot for some reason.

Foolish, your local cop and sheriff. The heart throb of the police department and kind of the definition of abuse of power (but only when its funny). He'll probably let you off for speeding or doing donuts in corn fields. His previous job was the town's major architect, which he still builds sometimes, but wanted to harass random people as a police officer for a new temporary occupation.

Quackity, the emotional weirdo teacher who's got attachment issues out the wazoo. He is sweet, but spirals sometimes. Its been rumored that he's been beaten up by Phil's kid for reasons unexplained.

Wilbur, of course, the aspiring musician. Gets confused a lot for other famous people, but plays at events when he's home. Loves his kid, but has been gone for most of the year and feels insecure for not calling her as much.

Jaiden, the town's lawyer who is rolling in it. She wins a lot of her cases and maybe does some of the illegal legwork to prove her client's innocence or the accused guilty. She does a lot of investigating with Foolish and has a key to the polices archive room. She has gotten noise complaints about her two loud birds.

Forever, a new resident along with the other Brazilians who all live in his giant pink Barbie house until Cellbit moves out to get married. Forever quickly gains popularity among the town's residence and becomes mayor of Quesadilla Town. He has been chasing after Philza this whole time, but there are whispers that he has a thing for the local pastor.

Badboyhalo, the priest, which Forever has remarked that's probably the strangest one out of the town's peoples names but it fits. Bad is a strangely wealthy and knowledge priest. His face is always masked by shadows and a hood. He always appears out of nowhere and seems to derive amusement from spooking the other residents. Forever thinks that's cute.

Roier, from Jaiden's platonic roommate to Cellbit's husband, man has never had a job and is just a trophy roommate/husband. Always physically fit, the life of the party and if the town had a best looking competition, he'd be at least top 5. Spends his day working out and is often seen on long runs in the woods. He may or may not be the one always finding weird things on his runs. Like a random artifact or an unfamiliar body.

Cellbit, town's journalist. Always looking for clues on the strange going ons and always has one of those huge boards with photos, tacks, and red thread. Man hardly sleeps and is running on six cups of coffee a day. Get him some water.

Fit, he owns of course Fit's Fitness. The sexiest personal trainer in the county and has a prosperous business. Him and Phil are somehow friends, and he weirdly seems to know things he shouldn't. Has been seen fraternizing with the weird agents that come through town and cover stuff up.

Baghera is another school teacher in Quesadilla town. She is the funnier one but also there seems to be an immense sadness to her. She avoids any special agent from the Cucurucho Factory.

Etoiles is a mysterious vigilant who fights suspicious figures and deadly monsters in the night. He's kind of the ex machina of the town and can be found lurking in the back alleys. He may or may not be a clerk at your local giftshop.

Cucurucho is an interesting and strange character, a business man in a white suit wearing a bear mask at all times. He runs the Cucurucho Institution along with its factory and seems to hold some bizarre legal authority over the town. He also has connections in the hospital and school and all around is just a sketchy person. He has many of his underlings do his bidding around town and they have been seen dumping chemicals in the river and interrogating certain residents.

Pac is your new local gym teacher and has stolen the town's physical trainer's heart. They've been having a cute shy will they won't they. It's extremely obvious to the whole town. He is best friends with the mad scientist science teacher Mike. And they get up to shenanigans. And for a gym teacher, the guy sure is smart and knows a lot of ways to build things. He's like the ultimate package!

Missa is Phil's platonic husband who is always away on business trips. He shows up into town for about a week then has to head out again to do business related business. He is jealous of Phil's love interests but also won't deny how hot they are and that also makes him insecure.

Charlie is the troubled baker/conessieur in town. He always has a creepy smile about him when you ask what's in his food, but he's just screwing with you and its actually delicious. He has been seen dragging huge lumpy bags with red liquid pouring out of it and swears it's just strawberry jam. Turns out if you licked the floor, it is. His favorite dessert to make is green jello.

Tubbo is the weird little mechanic that is always putting bizarre attachments to your vehicle and making odd do dads in his spare time. No one knows where he got his mechanic license, but no one mentions that he's probably doing this illegally cause of his sweet deals.

Mouse is a famous vtuber who may be working with the occult on the side for the funsies. Is she running a cult? Perhaps. But it would be funny if she did. Anyways she has a lovely home and gives lots of her money as donations to less sketchy hospitals.

[rie-092]

Hi! Can I request the Duke of the North Phileo Boleoti with darling that is stronger than him?

WINNING

❲ yandere! phileo boleoti x fem! reader ❳

summary : phileo helped you get away from the engagement that you never wanted.

tw : yandere behaviour, misogyny, mentions of blood, mentions of torture, violence, mentions of poisoning.

being stronger than the famous duke of the boleoti dukedom is... kinda exhausting. let's be honest here, the boleoti family was unstoppable and considered the most powerful family in the empire. but you? you're just an (according to everyone) mere lady from a wealthy county. that's why no one expected you to become a war hero and defeated an entire army by yourself.

and everyone who knows about your strength was planning to use you against the boleoti family. even the imperial family themselves was planning to make you a perfect soldier to kill duke phileo. but there was one thing that everyone doesn't know. and that is you and phileo were good friends. the two of you were stuck with each other ever since you were a child. you and phileo were close to the point that you can barge onto his estate on the boleoti territory unannounced.

but how does the nobility who were planning to pull you on their side doesn't know about your relationship with phileo? easy, because whenever you visit phileo you are always wearing disguise magic.

and even though phileo acts as if he hates it whenever you visited him. deep inside, he was happy. after all, even though he is a softie around you, he rather die than show you his feelings. in short, he is a tsundere and ahem... a little bit, yeah, you already know it.

anyways, the first time you met leonia was when you visited their mansion. leonia was in the greenhouse, playing with the maids when she accidentally bumped into you. causing the hood of your cloak that had been hiding your face to fall of. and leonia was captivated by your beauty. her usual confident and sassy personality was nowhere to be seen. it was as if she became a seven-year-old kid when she saw you.

let's go back to you. who was confused after seeing leonia. black hair and black eyes. you suddenly remembered the reason why you're here and the contents of your friend's letter. when you connected the puzzle, you gasped. you smiled at leonia as you crouched down and greeted her. and leonia, unlike her usual self was shy after you smiled at her. she suddenly became restless. but how could she not when she saw a woman whose beauty was on par with the female lead?!

after getting to know each other. you took leonia with you to phileo's office. and there, you saw your friend casually sitting on his table with two cups of (favorite tea) and a plate of (favorite dessert) placed in the usual spot where you usually sit and watch him while doing his work.

you greeted each other and he was quite surprised when he saw you entered his office with leonia. while leonia gave her father a sly grin after she notice the unusual expression on his face.

and when phileo suddenly called you 'general (y/n)'. that was the time when leonia remembered your character in the novel. she was caught off guard when she met you earlier so she had forgotten about the novel for a moment. so you were that (y/n)! the character in the novel who was famous for being much stronger than phileo and... also his first love.

and of course, just like the usual second female leads in every novel. you and phileo didn't end up with each other. instead, you became the bridge between for him and the female lead. because... general (y/n) (l/n) got married and got killed by her husband and her in-laws a few months after their wedding. how did they kill you? of course, even though you were the strongest. you still have your weakness which is your powers going out of control. and your powers became like that after your husband and his family mixed the poison that they got from the imperial family in your food. and instead of choosing to unleash your power who's getting out of control so you'll be able to live. you just accepted your faith and died.

leonia remembered an extra chapter in the novel that was gruesome. it was the chapter where phileo personally tortured the people who killed you after he heard about the news of your death. he tortured them slowly... and he made sure to make them feel the excruciating pain that will make them wish that they were dead. she could still remember a quote from that chapter that made her feel... as if something was odd with phileo's character.

“ .... seeing this place covered with your filthy blood was quite fun.”

when leonia looked at you and phileo who were casually talking to each other. for a moment, she saw a glint of possessiveness in phileo's eyes while looking at you.

after discussing about some important matters. you and phileo were now doing what you always do whenever you visit him. and that is... sparring! and for some odd reasons, after you took off your cloak. leonia started to compliment your muscles. but you didn't pay any attention to it since according to you, leonia is a kid.

and the time that you and her father attacked each other. leonia's eyes widened. she knows that the most powerful ability that exists in this empire was 'the beast fangs'. yet, now in front of her. she is seeing an ability that was on par, no, stronger than the beast's fangs.

and just like usual, you won. after chatting with the father-daughter duo you decided to go home to prepare yourself for your engagement party. you planned to tell phileo about this yet you couldn't. the atmosphere around him changed after you saw him last time. and you don't want to destroy it. besides, you can just ask carnis to tell phileo about your engagement anyways.

but little did you know, there was a little girl who was currently telling her father about your engagement party. and the two of them started to plan on how they gonna destroy that engagement party of yours.

move on to the day of the party. everything is perfect. your brother, the current head of your family made sure of it. and you can see that he was really worried about you. but who won't? when the reason why you were getting engaged was that the emperor threatened you that he will kill your brother if you don't?

you were aware that they want to keep you in check. but for the first time, the strongest person in the empire felt weak and helpless. you tried to ask your soon-to-be fiancé to cancel this engagement party. but do you know what he said to you?

“ shut up and act like a proper lady. you should be thankful that i agreed with the emperor's request. i mean, who would want to date a barbaric woman like you? ”

every time you remember that you just want to grab his head and slam him on the ground. the audacity! he will be dead a long time ago if it isn't for your brother stopping you.

preventing yourself from killing the man next to you. you looked around the venue and your eyes widened when you saw phileo standing next to carnis. the pair of dark eyes looking at you. you averted your gaze as you looked at carnis who shrugged and smiled sweetly at you.

you internally cursed him but you suddenly realized something. your lips twisted into a smile as you asked your 'fiancee' if he will agree to break the engagement if you find a man who'll accept you. he confidently said yes knowing that you couldn't find a man who will accept a woman who can kill her husband while sleeping.

but what you did next surprised him and the people inside the venue. even carnis and phileo themselves were surprised. who will not? when you suddenly walked towards phileo and suddenly kissed him. take note it wasn't just a simple kiss but a passionate one.

phileo wanted to laugh knowing the reason why you kissed him. but, this time he'll gonna help you. he snaked his arms around your waist as he pulled you into him as he deepened the kiss. he then looked at your fiancee whose face was red because of anger.

let's just say after that event. the two of you become the hottest topic in the empire. everyone knows the story about how you confidently broke her engagement for the sake of your true love which is the duke boleoti.

while you after apologizing to phileo many times. got an offer from phileo that he will help you to make the emperor forcing you to get married stop by getting engaged to him. you tried to reject him first but when he said that he'll going to agree with your conditions. you immediately agreed.

while leonia was happy that she was able to prevent you from dying. phileo was also happy but for another reason. he was happy that finally, he was able to tie you to him. sure, it was only a contractual agreement. but you don't have to worry, this guy will make sure that you won't be able to leave him and leonia.

even if he had to use his money and influence. you might be stronger than him but he was a lot smarter than you. he can just use his mind and manipulate you, no?

“it looks like i won this time, (nickname). ”

[robthegoodfellow]

May I Find You One December RENAMED Here I Go Again

1: Don't Know Where I'm Going, Sure Know Where I've Been

for @fizzigigsimmer

(caligator, referenced past harringrove, age difference, referenced character death, references to neofascism/evangelicalism)

.

Billy’d been warned against stopping in Stark County, but when you had to go, you had to go—and anyway, he was running low on gas. And snacks. 

And, since he wasn’t a spring chicken anymore, it’d be wise to get out, work the rust from his joints a bit. 

Glancing around as he filled the tank, the town looked normal enough; your average main drag in Middle of Nowhere, North Dakota. Couple sleepy shops, general store, dinky diner—one of those blue lives matter flags hanging limp by the door, vivid polyester garish against all the beige. 

Basic shit. 

No obvious signs of a place under the iron thumb of a white nationalist evangelical militia, and he was just about to roll the dice on that diner, maybe snag a coffee and a slice of pie, when a police cruiser ambled into view, pulled into the fueling station opposite.

Just his fucking luck.

Billy studied the pump, face schooled a pleasant bland. Marveled at how, even after all these years, his days of tussling with fascist pigs long behind him, the same wolves were stirring in his head. One baring its teeth on a low growl, ready and willing to tear the fucker to shreds, the other poised, still as stone, itching to turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble.

At fifty years old—fifty plus, but who was counting—he preferred neither option. The meter clicked off, and he watched his hands replace the nozzle, screw on the gas cap.

Even his hands were fucking old. Thicker—blocky knuckles. Veins starting to bulge. Grandpa hands. 

Sense memory flashed, suppressed so quick and smooth it left barely a ripple. Wouldn’t do to indulge in fond longing for those gay glory days, for the hands he still missed like phantom limbs, some nights, this aching absence. Not within spitting distance of a patrol car. 

Because why test the thought police, right? He could reminisce on youthful love lost when he was back on the highway, heading west.

Good boy, he heard, like Billy had a tin can cupped to his ear, the string trailing off into the fog of time. 

So strange what stayed sharp, he mused, rounding the hood, gripping his keys. Behind him, the cruiser door swung open with a creak. Like—despite the photos, it was hard to really conjure the face, hold it steady in his mind. A face through a window in the rain, and more so as the years slid by. But that voice still whispered clear as day—sometimes a Jiminy Cricket, keeping Billy out of trouble, sometimes a little prankster demon, pure trickster. 

And the hands. The feel of those hands had never left him, touch embedded in the skin.

He sniffed, ducking his chin, scolding himself. So much for smothering his inner queer.

The door was open, sanctuary of the driver’s seat calling his name, when something drew his attention across the way—some movement, maybe, or shift in the air. Pulling his gaze, against his better judgment, to meet the bored stare of the emerging cop.

His chest—seized, breath caught in tight lungs by a tighter throat. Distantly wondered if this was what a heart attack felt like—crushed in a cold fist.

Because the eyes staring back at him were Steve’s. The furrowed brow above lips pinched in a frown. The lines of his jaw, his nose. Like the rain had stopped and he could see him clear through the pane. Then the lips twisted, a sudden sneer, straight out of senior year.

“Got a problem, pal?” 

Billy blinked rapid, took in the flak jacket and badge announcing him as the Sheriff’s stooge, the douchey camo hoodie layered underneath, dark hair slicked back, sides shaved like he’d stepped off the cover of Nazi Vogue.

What the fuck.

“Asked you a question, old man.”

Billy coughed, half a laugh, half choke, and shook his head. Same voice—his voice. Steve’s. Only the tone was all wrong—mean and self-important—more like… like Billy, once upon a time.

Like if his old bratty attitude and Steve’s voice had a baby. That’s what he was hearing right now. Like—

Wrenching his brain back on track, Billy rebooted. Cut him off before the brat could launch another volley.

“Sorry, officer,” he said, and couldn’t help it—the amusement thrumming beneath the words, or more accurately, the unhinged hysteria. “Must be going senile.”

The eyes narrowed—assuming that if he wasn’t in on the joke, he must be the butt of it.

“In fact,” Billy went on, blindly following some instinct, he knew not where. “Think I might be having some heart trouble.”

The cop did not spring to the aid of a needy citizen, but eyed him skeptically. “You smell burnt toast?”

“That’s for a stroke,” Billy corrected, and he’d gone and done it again—only this time a fondness threading the wry mockery. “Heart attack is pain in your arm and whatnot.”

The brat didn’t shoot him dead for perceived disrespect, which was something. Really he just seemed—confused. Baffled. And boy, Billy was right there with him.

This wasn’t Steve, he reminded himself. Wasn’t him. Just a random dead ringer in Middle of Nowhere, North Dakota, a likely foot soldier in the brutal local militia.

And Billy should just leave him to it, obviously. Because this wasn’t Steve.

So—bid the doppelganger adieu, get the hell out of dodge. Billy cleared his throat.

“Don’t suppose protect and serve extends to helping some geezer find a place to eat while he rests awhile?”

Now the perplexed indignation was out in force, head tilted so far to the side it was liable to roll off his neck.

Hand to God, Billy thought he’d kicked the death wish long ago—his Y2K resolution—and yet here he was. Still talking, coaxing the neofascist to come closer, chucking all caution to the wind for a pair of pretty, over-familiar eyes.

“C’mon,” he said, and made the smirk self-deprecating. “I make it across the street without keeling over, I’ll buy ya a coffee.”

The brat straightened, something like tolerant intrigue settled in the quirk of his brow. “All right, then, old timer.” As they stepped off the sidewalk: “Don’t expect me to hold your elbow or nothing.”

“Oh, nah,” Billy replied, waving him off. “Dignity won’t allow it.” And then—he winked. Winked at the boogaloo boy. He’d lost his mind. Farewell, sanity.  “Name’s Billy.”

No response from the boy in blue until they reached the diner steps. “I’m Gator,” he said, hauling the door open, gruffness at odds with the tinkling bell.

To his credit, Billy didn’t break down into gibbering laughter.

Gator. This asshat wearing Steve’s face, this Duck Dynasty heir apparent—was named Gator.

Way off in Indiana, Steve must’ve been rolling in his grave.

Next

[mustdies]

INTRODUCING YOUR FAVORITE BOTTLE-BLONDED SKEPTIC, THE REBEL. KNOWN MOST AFFECTIONATELY AS DANTE, HATER OF AUTHORITY & LOVER OF CARTHEFT.

NAMED DANTE NEVEK. KNOWN AS DON, DANNY. DOB OCTOBER 15TH, 1977. PLACE OF BIRTH AGADIR, MOROCCO. GENDER CIS MAN. PRONOUNS HE/HIM. ORIENTATION DEMISEXUAL. OCCUPATION PRO BOXER, POLITICAL ORGANIZER. FACECLAIM EMILIO SAKRAYA. POSITIVE TRAITS ASTUTE, DEVOTED, OBSERVANT. NEGATIVE TRAITS REPRESSED, CYNICAL, IMPULSIVE. RESIDENCE. CONVERTED FLAT IN BROOKLYN, NY. HEIGHT. SIX FOOT ONE INCH. EYES. DARK BROWN, FAWNING. HAIR. BLEACH BLOND, CROPPED SIDES + WAVY TEXTURE. ANNOMALIES. HEAVILY TATTOOED, FEW HAPHAZARD SCARS FROM FIGHTING BOTH IN THE RING AND OTHERWISE.

PRELUDE

you are coddled between the murky nowhere wedged between dreamy isle’s of palm & discarded american dreams. you’re a young thing with stars in your eyes; the others see this and smother you in their palms until you’re merely a streak of shimmering stardust because dreams aren’t for survivors. because your mother never wanted to be a mother and your father wasn’t the kind of man she’d trust with her heart, let alone you with your chubby hands and big eyes. giving you up was just the right thing to do, but at the very least, didn’t you deserve to dream a moment longer ? as it turns out, dreams are riddled inconsequential for little boys with hardly enough belongings to cram into a tattered napsack. but so long as you have the room for it, you hold onto this one thing: you’ll get out of here one day & by god, you won’t look back.

you’re nine when you pickpocket your first tourist, and ten when you successfully pull your first con. the descent is unseen, but occurs quicker than you realize and before you know you’re no longer the one cowling beneath the wings of those who came before you. you’re still the boy with the bright eyes but now, you’ve got even brighter ideas & happen to know your way around a shoddy hot wiring job or two. suddenly you’re fourteen with hardly a lick of peach fuzz dotting your features when you first become a ward of the court & you’re fifteen when a man who you had never known existed makes you one of the lucky ones. rather than aging out of a system that you had spent too long outrunning, you are withdrawn from juvenile holding on account of being placed beneath his conservatorship.

ACT ONE

sooner than you know, everything & everyone you’d known including your self-professed sibling with the kind eyes and the slit in his lip merely faded into a sunny break on the horizon. upstate new york becomes your new home & if you are to stay out of trouble you are made to make yourself something useful. days spent siphoning old gas & racing through the odd junctions of your seaside town come nightfall turn into even longer days as an unfavored ward. as you saw it, not even the dusty summer heat could sweat out that streak for havoc you had come to learn to know so far before your time—even seas away, you couldn’t outrun the law. teen years are spent pinned to the hoods of county cruisers just to be out of the pin come the end of the week while stark dreams continue to fade. 

ACT TWO

you spend your latter years giving hell to whatever boarding schools your guardian could enlist you in. become someone different, still a blaring asteroid, but some of your edges have refined. you learn what it means to be a society man—how to properly despise such a title. though these efforts were not made to entirely change you, rather, another outlet was found. instead of brawling with whomever looked at you funnily enough, the largest portion of your time was spent training in mixed martial arts. if you're going to be violent, you will learn to honor your craft.

ACT THREE

as a young man, you fall into sync with the ballad of a runaway train, horn steadily blaring as you utterly veer off the rails while onlookers can merely speculate in utter horror. luckily enough, you’re not the only one in this dusty old house pushed to your brink out of boredom so you slot well into your place with the rest of the small town miscreants, the only difference is the tan of your skin but in time you would even adapt their mixed lilt; even if you didn’t quite look it, you were one of them & the truth is, you were no better than the rest. it’s a damn miracle you make it out of woodrow in one piece: running off into the night when you’re old enough, leaving nothing but tire marks in the driveway & a number richard could contact you at in the future. now you’ve been running laps in the game for too long, and the only thing you’ve been left to wonder is if this was the dream you had so fervently chased as a child.

AESTHETIC

james dean chic meets streetwear final boss. breezy linen button-ups, undone by the first two buttons. perpetually bruised, walking into the room like god sent him. adorns at least five tattoos he has no recollection of getting in the first place. bottle blond with a knack for trouble. smelling like camel cigarettes & sandalwood.

HEACANONS

ever in motion, always leaning in a doorway or drumming his fingers along the edge of a table.

easy to call, hard to get in contact with. has a phone but will likely not answer lest prompted by his manager; harder to contact since richard's passing.

began prizefighting at eighteen, became a super wba titleholder in 2002.

did not pursue higher education following high school but currently runs a community-led organization in brooklyn to help the underserved youth in the area stay out of trouble.

hairtrigger temper which is highly exasterbated under stress/pressure. sooner to seclude those he's close to before allowing them to be involved in his mess. needs a therapist sooo bad.

technically, the last time dante was seen at woodrow house was seven years ago. however, he was last present on the property five years ago per the request of richard. the reasoning and his appearance at large is still broadly unknown to the rest of the wards.

secretly really enjoys tennis, catch this man at the yearly u.s. open & wimbledon with your favorite wag on his arm.

got into political organizing around the age of thirteen after rallying a small network of underserved youth (for better or worse) against the local government. was arrested shortly thereafter for inciting civil unrest.

really into running, has ran at least a mile a day since he was seventeen.

[henriiiii-1001old]

tmc fairy tale au!!!

SO this is actually a concept i had a few months ago that i never rly expanded upon.

first, let me explain the basics:

i assigned different tmc characters to different fairy tales, but they all exist in the same universe.

Adam - Rapunzel Evelin - Snow White/Flynn Rider Jonah - Little Mermaid Sarah - Gretel/Daughter from The Juniper Tree Mark - Hansel/Stepson from The Juniper Tree Cesar - Frog Prince Thatcher - Lumberjack guy from Red Riding Hood Ruth - Red Riding Hood Dave - Father from The Juniper Tree Six - Gothel Gabriel - Stepmother from The Juniper Tree Preacher - The Sea Witch Stanley - The Candy Witch Alt!Thatch - Big Bad Wolf

next, some art i made for the au!!!

and now, huge lore dump! >:)c its gonna be long so buckle your seatbelts LMAO

so, the main plot of this au is basically that adam has been stuck in a tower in the middle of nowhere for almost 21 years. he had been raised by six, who is actually a witch set on taking over the kingdoms that surround the nearby areas (aka the counties). one day, six it out doing stuff, and while he's gone prince evelin (yes she's a prince bc fuck it) ends up finding the tower. she decides to climb it out of curiosity.

she ends up in a standoff against adam, but to try to deescalate things, they introduce themselves to each other. all of a sudden before they could talk more, adam hears six coming back and hides evelin in a nearby closet. evelin sees adam and six get into a fight abt adam wanting to go out into the world for once, but six is all "you're not ready" and it just gets really bad. all until six lovebombs adam and leaves again to get something for adam's upcoming 21st birthday.

evelin had exited the closet as six left, and she's like "you let him do that to you?" adam is like "uh yeah? he always does? i dont see them problem" and evie starts making adam question everything. she promises to take adam into the world but return him by night in case six came back. they'd also stay near the tower just in case as well.

cut to jonah's pov! he's a simple merman wanting to be a part of the human world! he sees evie and adam having a lot of fun and wishes he could join them. his dad (yes, if jonah is the little mermaid, the fucking mervin marshall is the king by proxy DCFVGBHNJ) is all like "nuh uh too dangerous, especially with most of the witches residing on land anyway" and jonah is like "FUCKING BET!"

he goes to the sea witch, preacher, and asks for legs and talks about seeing adam and evie hanging out! and preacher is like "im sorry WHO????" bc she knows that adam shouldnt be out and about. she makes jonah promise that as part of the deal, he must return adam to six in three days time, otherwise he'll turn back into a merman. he quickly agrees, and the whole deal is made. preacher does go tell six about this, and while he freaks out at first, preacher is like "it's ok dude i got this. i got a client to promise to return him home as part of our deal. you're fine m'dude."

jonah ends up on land and tries teaching himself how to talk while finding a cloth to barely dress himself with. adam and evie do eventually see him and they're like "yo who tf are you?" and while jonah cant talk, they do find a way to write to each other and they become friends!!!!

they do also eventually meet sarah at some point, and oh b o y does she have a backstory.

SO, in order to explain her backstory, let me explain the story of "the juniper tree" (copy pasted from discord LMAO)

"so a mother is peeling apples under a juniper tree and accidentally cuts her finger. the blood drips onto the snow on the ground, and that (somehow) grants the woman's wish to have a child as white as snow and as red as blood. she dies after giving birth to her perfect child, and the father soon remarries, having a daughter of her own.

she loved her daughter but hated her stepson and abused him every day and is all "i want my daughter to inherit your father's money." she then leads her children to a chest of apples one day. she lets her daughter pick an apple from the chest, but when her stepson came to pick one, she slammed the chest on his head and decapitated him.

she then set it up to where the same thing would happen again but the daughter would be there to witness it all, and her mother would gaslight her into thinking that she murdered her own brother. she then literally turned her stepson into soup and fed him to her husband. the daughter was so grossed out and distraught the entire time, but she couldn't rat her mother out. she ended up burying her brother's bones under the juniper tree.

then, he reincarnated as a bird and sung a song to some townspeople to convince them to help him get revenge on his stepmother. he gathered a golden chain for his father, red shoes for his sister, and a millstone to crush his stepmother. he reveals himself to his family and they live happily ever after."

here's the changes i made to the original story:

instead of just the mother dying, both of mark and sarah's prents die, and now they are in the sole custody of dave

instead of having the caretaker marry someone, dave asks his friend "o'brien" to help raise mark and sarah

instead of the stepmother dying, it is revealed that o'brien was actually the great mage gabriel trying to steal something important to their plans that dave just so happens to have

and thats it CFVGBHNJM. gabriel does try and come back every once in a while to coax gabe into either letting them come back or trying to make dave give himself up for sarah's sake.

cesar's story is also p cool imo! he is the prince of bythorne and evelin's cousin! they got along great when evelin was younger, but that stopped once cesar disappeared.

this was caused by him saving mark and sarah from the candy witch, stanley, who had lured them in to specifically kill mark. cesar saw what was going on and saved the two of them before it was too late.

later that night, stanley decided to be a petty bitch and curse cesar into being a frog so he wouldn't be able to save anyone else from her or her sisters' (in which six is her like. brother but i'll explain why later LMAO) plans. cesar hid in the shadows of mandela kingdom's palace for years since then.

since cesar's disappearance, evelin had wanted to take the role of prince to honor him. she also used it as a way to not have to be trapped inside the palace walls and coddled. she ended up still feeling stuck anyway, which led to her sneaking out to travel through the woods, which ofc led her one day to find adam's tower.

at some point (if anything this would be after evie and adam meet and stuff), evelin finds cesar in his frog form on the windowsill of the guest room he would regularly stay in whenever he would come to mandela to visit. he finds that she isnt revolted by his new appearance and is actually willing to help him out!

he explains that he learned that most curses can be cured by "true love's kiss", which in storybooks was always seen as romantic. he had always viewed evelin like a little sister, so he felt that he was hopeless.

that was until evelin thought of a loophole, since the stories never explicitly said that it was romantic, she would try to break the curse purely through the love she has for him as her cousin. she kisses the top of cesar's head, and cesar has returned to his human form!!!

...well, somewhat. the curse had altered his human form due to it not being broken for years on end, so cesar came back deformed. his limbs were too long and half of his face was always covered by a dark shadow. cesar did freak out about this, but evelin assured him that he'll always be her cesar, no matter what he looked like.

evelin and cesar explained the situation and cesar was finally returned to bythorne. he did write a letter a bit after wards telling her that he has resigned from his princely duties to become a princess! maybe it would help him not have to struggle with the expectations of needing to be brave and bold, and it would be a thank you to evelin for taking his role as a prince!!!

speaking of evelin, let's go back to her for a minute. so, i had also put her as snow white, but we haven't really seen her fulfill that role yet. weeelllll...

at some point in the story, six finds evelin alone in the forest and offers her to take a bite of an apple in exchange for knowledge about adam and his past. the thing is, evelin HATES fruit so she's like "ewww do i have tooo" and six is like "if you really wanna know, then you gotta."

evelin agrees and bites into the apple. it tastes so fucking gross, but she feels like she was to swallow it to finish her end of the deal. once she swallows, the pieces suddenly cling onto her throat, choking her in the process. as she struggles to breathe, six begins to tell her who adam truly is.

adam is a regular boy who six took as part of a deal made by his parents. lynn had been getting pregnancy cravings and wanting the rapunzel frm the neighbor's garden. she made jude retrieve them for her, but it wasn't enough. eventually, jude got caught by six and agreed to give up their firstborn child in exchange to continue taking the flowers.

once adam was born, lynn and jude were killed by six, and he took adam away to raise him as his prodigy. as a catalyst for the witches' plans.

as six is explaining all of this to evelin, she is trying her hardest to take him down with her. fuck the info he's giving her, he tricked her, and now he has to pay. she swings with all her might but falls in vain. her vision goes black as six walks away from her dying body...

there's probably a "mother knows best reprise" moment here and six is all like "oh you might wanna go save your friend if you care about her so much" and adam freaks tf out. she's desperately trying to think of something to help evelin.

eventually, the group remember's cesar's story with "true love's kiss" and they're like "fuck it let's try that". adam, while literally sobbing, plants a small kiss on her forehead and prays for her to wake up.

while this is all happening, evelin ets visited by mark's spirit. he basically hypes her up and is like "you got this girlie!!!" and she wakes up after adam plants his kiss on her. she starts to choke again, but adam helps her with it and heimlichs the apple out of her throat. she's finally able to breathe, and the group celebrates.

however, the happy moment doesn't last for too long. jonah does eventually return adam to six behind evelin and sarah's backs, but afterward he feels so guilty for it. they literally sacrificed one of the first human friends he's ever made for legs. how stupid is that? they eventually go to sarah and evelin and they quickly figured out what happened. while evelin goes to the tower to save adam (with help from a certain spirit), sarah and jonah confront preacher.

there is gonna be a plot abt preacher almost taking over the seas, but jonah and sarah do eventually take her down and retrieve jonah's voice. and yes, sarah gets to see that jonah is a merman and she's actually like "YO WAIT YOU GUYS ARE REAL???" and jonah is like "UH YEAH?????"

and yes, adam does eventually escape as well, but i dont have those details either so ye :')

that's the main plot at least! i do have a subplot for thatcher's pov tho! more copy paste from discord

"thatcher and ruth are friends and live nearby each other. ruth usually helps out w raising mark and sarah, though mark by this point is dead so dave DEFINITELY needs help. he and sarah havent been taking his death well, especially since dave literally ate mark’s remains without knowing. and sarah feels guilty enough for being gaslit into believing that she killed mark.

so ruth is about to go to dave’s place and has to walk through the forest to get there. she eventually meets what seems to be a very friendly wolf. she is a little weirded out by it, but she eventually tells it how dave lost mark and that she’s helping out! and the wolf is like “oh thats cool! i wish you luck on your journey. though i must say, these flowers smell beautiful! maybe you should pick some and take them to your dear friend!” and as ruth collects flowers as the wolf suggested, it found thatcher nearby and took his appearance to take a visit to a particular dave lee." ...

"she gets to dave's place who has been escorted out by the wolf/alt thatcher, right? so he's like "dear friend, why don't you rest! you've spent all day walking here, and you should be able to rest" aaaaand he tries to turn her into a werewolf but then thatcher comes in and is like "AYO TF YOU DOING TO MY BESTIE????" and he and the wolf fight. thatcher ends up getting bitten but is able to ward him off with his axe that was laced with silver just in case. so ruth is saved, but overtime thatcher feels more pain surge throughout his body and just kinda. turns one night.

unfortunately, he ends up killing ruth. alt thatcher tries to take this as an opportunity to maybe make him join the witches, but thatcher ofc refuses and makes a break towards dave's house. thatcher ends up telling dave what happened, and dave is okay with helping him hide it as well as hiding his newfound lycanthropy

sarah overhears this convo and becomes EXTREMELY angry at thatcher bc ruth was helping dave raise her after mark died. she was basically the mother figure sarah had always wanted, and thatcher took that away from her."

that's it for plot!!! now for some witch shenanigans >:)

so the witches are basically all the alts who usually practice shapeshifting magic to like. deceive others and all that jazz. ive made it a running joke that six is technically the only guy there FVGBHNJ

like, stanley is fem, preacher is female, alt!thatcher is copying thatcher who is transfem in this au, and gabriel dresses fem. six (and by proxy adam) is literally the only guy there DCFVGBHNJ

i am. running out of energy but i think that's everything for rn. hope you enjoy this au though!!!! ive put a lot into it <33333

[sterek-ao3feed]

Drive Home (The Long Way 'Round)

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/56274466

by TW_Queen (Queen_Whovian)

The two hour drive that should have brought him to Ashburn was interrupted by a squeal from under the hood. The lights on the dash flashed before a warning code blinked on. “Oh, you’ve gotta be,” Stiles pulled over just as soft gray smoke started to billow from under the hood, “fucking with me.” Just as he pressed his foot to the brake, a grinding shook the jeep’s body. Stiles groaned, letting his head fall back against his seat. He pushed the parking brake and shoved himself out of the car, “Some type of fucking car. How far away are we, Roscoe? Like ten minutes? Couldn’t just make it to Scott’s place, you just had to break down in the middle of nowhere. God-fucking-damnit.”

Life seems to be having fun fucking with Stiles, stranding him in the middle of Nowheresville, Tennessee after a Hellish six months at the office, but Scott is here. And there's a guy willing to help him fix his car. So it can't be all bad. He hopes.

Words: 9830, Chapters: 1/25, Language: English

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Roscoe | Stiles Stilinski's Jeep, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Derek Hale, Laura Hale, Cora Hale, Talia Hale, Original Child of Scott and Allison, Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent, Melissa McCall

Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Sheriff Stilinski & Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent & Lydia Martin, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale & Lydia Martin

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Cowboy, Set in Tennessee, No I dont live there but we're there now, Cowboy Derek Hale, The Hale Family are Ranchers, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), The Hale Family Lives (Teen Wolf), The Hale Family Loves Stiles Stilinski, The Hale Family are Full Shift Werewolves (Teen Wolf), Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski Is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale is a Softie, Derek Hale is Older Than Stiles Stilinski, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale is a Nice Thing, Derek Hale is Good at Feelings, Derek being not grumpy more likely than you think HA, True Mates, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Slow Burn, county fair, Horses, Roscoe breaks down to help the plot, thanks roscoe, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD, Stiles Stilinski is an FBI agent, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Top Derek Hale, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, soft Derek Hale, Panic Attacks, Sleep Walking, Tried for accurate PTSD but I'm not a mental health professional I'm sorry, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Sloppy Makeouts, Stiles Stilinski Deserves A Happy Ending, Derek Hale Deserves A Happy Ending, Awesome Laura Hale, Pack Alpha Talia Hale, Talia Hale is a GOOD MOM, Good Parent Melissa McCall, Fluff and Angst, Derek Hale has a southern accent

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56274466

[mrmonster459]

Werewolf in the Desert

By mrmonster

Location: Southern California

“Forty bucks worth of gas at pump twelve.” I said to the teller.

“That all?” The teller asked.

I thought for a moment and said “And a pack of Marlboro, if you promise not to tell my wife.”

“I don’t make many promises.” The teller said. “But that one, I can keep.”

I should clarify where we were and what I was doing. My family and I (aka my wife Jade, our thirteen-year-old son Ricky, and our eight-year-old daughter Deven) were driving towards Anaheim to take the kids to Disneyland. Even though the sun was starting to set, we were nowhere near any places to crash that wouldn’t be roach motels, so we decided to just power through for another hour to get into Los Angeles County. We could’ve already been there, but Jade wanted to go through a more remote route to pass a “hidden gem” natural site out in the desert she heard about. Anyway, our last stop that night was a Native American reservation to get enough gas to make it all the way.

“You know, it’s a full moon tonight.” The cashier commented as he got me my cigarettes.

“Yeah, I heard.” I replied.

“Things get weird around here whenever there’s a full moon.” He said. “There are myths of an old curse, a supernatural disease that white settlers passed onto our people generations ago. They say it manifests every full moon, and that our land isn’t safe until the sun rises. If I were you, I’d drive far tonight; if the myths are true, you may regret being here once it gets dark”

He then scanned the cigarette pack and said “Your total is $48.56. Paying with cash or card?”

______

When I went back to the car and started filling up, my wife immediately noticed something was up.

“You okay?” She asked from inside the SUV.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said. “The teller was really weird, that’s all. Said there was some kinda curse around here on full moons.”

“Calm down, tourist traps love to tell ghost stories to travelers.” Jade said. “It brings in money. Back in New Orleans, my sister and I couldn’t go to a single bar without being told about all the ghosts that were haunting the place.”

“Yeah, that’s probably it.” I said as I waited for the car to fill.

____

After getting gas, we hit the road again. Unfortunately, about ten minutes or so after leaving the gas station, we got a flat tire and I had to pull over.

“Aw fu…” I started to say, before remembering my kids were in the car. “Fudge. Aw, fudge.” I then said.

The kids looked worried, but I said “Relax, we have a spare. It’ll be a bumpy ride, but it’ll get us into town.”

As I started changing the tire, I heard some kind of growl, almost like a dog’s howl but much louder.

I reached into the trunk, and rummaged through it to find something I was desperately hoping I never unpacked after our most recent family camping trip. “Oh thank God.” I said to myself after I found my bear spray. It wasn’t much, but I figured it would stop whatever animal was out there. I continued trying to repair the tire until I heard it again, but much closer.

I got in the car, locked the doors, and rolled up the windows. “Jade, check to see if the 9MM is still in the glove box?”

She opened it and said “It is.”

“Good, keep it close.” I saw that the kids were scared, and said “Don’t worry. It sounds like there’s some kinda animal loose, but that’s all. If we just stay in the car and…”

Moments later, we felt something crash into the side. Then, there was a horrible sound of metal being scratched.

And then, it jumped onto the hood. I shined my phone flashlight at it, and what I saw horrified me.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting the monster I made eye contact with. It had a human-like torso but had the face and paws of a wolf. It roared when I shined a light on it, and then used one of its paws to smash through the window.

Before it could enter the car, I shot it with bear spray. It retreated in pain, and Jade fired a shot that grazed its shoulder. The monster then fell off the hood, and ran off.

“What the Hell was that?” Jade asked.

“Shit, I don’t know.” I said. “But we’re getting out of here.”

I got out of the car, lowered the car jack, and quickly tried to reattach the new tire. However, when I heard the monster growl again, I simply got back in the car, and decided to take a chance on a car with only three functional tires. I turned the car around, and slammed on the pedal to get us back to the reservation. Sure their hotels would be shit, but at least we’d be safe from that thing.

“Jade, we gotta call the police.” I said.

“I’ve been trying.” She said. “But I’m not getting any signal.”

Just as I thought we were getting away, the car stalled.

“Oh no.” I said. I popped the hood, and used my phone as a flashlight.

“The battery terminals are damaged.” I said. “That thing must have ruined them when he jumped onto the car.”

“What are we gonna do?” Jade asked.

“I don’t know, I really don’t.” I said.

I thought for a moment and said “We’ll continue on foot. Hopefully someone will spot us.”

_______

We walked for over an hour in the dark, sticking close to the road in case anyone was there to see us. Unfortunately, there were none, it appears we were alone that night.

And then, we heard a familiar noise.

“Shit.” I muttered when I heard the monster’s roar.

“KIDS, GET BEHIND YOUR MOTHER AND ME!” I ordered.

Jade had the gun, and I had the bear spray. We were both out of our depth, but never underestimate two parents trying to keep their kids safe.

“IT’S COMING!” I shouted when I heard the beast running towards us. Jade fired two shots, but both missed.

I then shined my flashlight at it, and saw that the light alone was enough to keep it at bay.

“JADE, IT HATES LIGHT!” I shouted. Once we had it on the run, Jade fired another shot (one that grazed its stomach), and I hit it with another round of pepper spray to the face.

Jade tried one last time to shoot it, but missed again. I then grabbed the gun, ran up to the beast, and hit it in the face. Unfortunately, the beast retaliated by slashing my chest.

At first, it seemed like all hope may have been lost, until a car came approaching with its high beams on. The monster was so frightened by the light that it just ran off. When the car got closer, I could see that it was a Tribal Police cruiser.

“You folks alright?” He asked.

“We need help.” I said. “We were attacked by…a bear.”

"A bear? Okay." The officer said, but I get the sense that he knew I was lying. "I'll radio for help, once we get you to the rez we can get you to the urgent care."

______

We spent the night in a shitty motel across the street from a casino. First thing in the morning, we called for a ride to bring us into the city.

As we were waiting for our driver, I realized that I lost the pack of cigarettes I bought the day before, so I went back to the gas station to buy another. Believe me, I needed a smoke break more than ever.

I walked right into the gas station and said “Another pack of Marlboro please.”

“Welcome back.” the cashier said as he turned to grab a pack. “You look like you had a rough night.”

“You do too.” I said, as a joke at first. But as I approached the counter, I could see that he looked worse than I did.

He had a black eye, almost like he was hit in the face. And I could see some kind of bandage underneath his shirt, around his shoulder, right in the area where Jade shot the beast. At first I couldn’t believe it, but I also could see what looked like blood underneath his fingernails.

He clearly caught onto what I was thinking, and said “Like I said, strange things happen in these parts when there’s a full moon. Don't say I didn't warn you. Your total is $8.56. Cash or card?”

[bratxfantasy]

It's scorching hot, which is particularly odd considering winter is right around the corner. At the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, he leans against the hood of the beaten up car. Even if his ass is burning against the metal, it's still better than being inside the car, where it's guaranteed to be at least ten degrees hotter.

The county's Sheriff Kenny Ackerman taps his fingers to the beat of Motley Crue's latest release — these brats got taste, the old man thinks as he nods his head a couple of times. Music, his only source of fun.

Maybe he should be going and get a beer at the bar nearby.

Decided, he gives up on wanting to try and be at the service of community. He tried, he excuses himself, fishing for the keys of the car and getting into the car.

But it would seem that the Gods aren't on his side today, as all of the sudden a loud roaring of an engine can be heard. Kenny groans; just when he was deciding on getting a well deserved beer.

Maybe he can make something out of this... maybe.

His engine comes to life, and so does the siren. Slamming the gas pedal, he begins the pursuit.

— kenny ackerman.

Pushing faster on the gas, I can see a sheriff after me. Rolling my eyes, I continue on my mission. I was getting the hell out of this small town and no one was going to stop me. Not even the—

And just like that, my tire went flat. “Fuck!”

[grimbunnies]

[gaeforurmum]

SONGS

these are some songs that give me the best shifting/writing motivation because they are really good for imagining scenarios or just getting me in my feels <333

₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚

____________________

* |

#icanteven - the neighborhood ft. french montana

<3 - carter james

____________________

0 |

18 - one direction

505 - arctic monkeys

____________________

a |

all i want - kodaline

all i wanted - paramore

all the young dudes - mott the hoople

always a woman - billy joel

always forever - cults

american pie - don mclean

another love - tom odell

apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

arcade - duncan laurence ft. fletcher

are you with me - nilu

as the world caves in - matt maltese

astronomy - conan gray

a thousand years - christina perri

____________________

b |

beautiful boy - john lennon

best friend - rex orange county

big black car - gregory alan isakov

blood // water - grandson

bluebird - luca fogale

bohemian rhapsody - queen

brooklyn baby - lana del rey

bubble gum - clario

____________________

c |

can't remember to forget you - shakira ft. rihanna

careless whisper - george michael

cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant

cinema (specifically acoustic) - gary go

corduroy dreams - rex orange county

corps - yseult

could have been me - the struts

counting stars - onerepublic

crazy - shawn mendes

____________________

d |

dancing with your ghost - sasha alex sloan

dark horse - katy perry

dark red - steve lacy

daydreamin' - ariana grande

death on two legs - queen

did i mention - descendants (the songs are good man)

dusk till dawn - zayn ft. sia

____________________

e |

easily - bruno major

eleanor rigby - cody fry

electric love - børns

e.t. - katy perry

experience - ludovico einaudi

____________________

f |

fire on fire - sam smith

fix you - coldplay

fools rush in - elvis presley

fourth of july - sufjan stevens

freaks - surf curse

____________________

g |

golden - harry styles

good looking - suki waterhouse

go solo - tom rosenthal

____________________

h |

hall of fame - the scrpt ft. will.i.am

happy accidents - saint motel

heart attack - demi lavato

hold my hand - jess glynn

home - luke mccormick

home - cavetown

____________________

i |

idk you yet (acoustic cover) - zach hood

i don't want to watch the world end with someone else - clinton kane

i hear a symphony - cody fry

illicit affairs - taylor swift

i lived - onerepublic

i love you so - the walters

i melt with you - modern english

infinity - jaymes young

into it - chase atlantic

isabelle - zach hood (especially good if ur name's isabelle)

i think i'm in love - kat dahlia

it's ok - tom rosenthal

i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys

i want you - mitski

____________________

j |

je te laisserai des mots - patrick watson

juliet - cavetown

just the two of us - grover washington

____________________

k |

kids again - artist vs poet

killer queen - queen

____________________

l |

lay me down - sam smith ft. john legend

the less i know the better - tame impala

let her go - passenger

lights are on - tom rosenthal

like real people do - hozier

line without a hook - ricky montgomery

liquid smooth - mitski

locked out of heaven - bruno mars

look after you - the fray

lose my mind - dean lewis

love grows - edison lighthouse

love in the dark - adele

lover - taylor swift

loverboy - a-wall

love story - taylor swift

____________________

m |

make you mine - public

male fantasy - billie eilish

marry you - bruno mars

meet me in the woods - lord huron

middle of nowhere - vancouver sleep clinic

midnight memories - one direction

million dreams - the greatest showman

million little reasons - oscar lang

moral of the story - ashe

mr. forgettable - david kushner

mr loverman - ricky montgomery

mrs magic - strawberry guy

my blood - ellie goulding

my kind of woman - mac demarco

____________________

n |

never be alone - shawn mendes

night changes - one direction

nocturne op.9 no.2 - chopin

notion - the rare occasions

____________________

o |

ocean eyes - billie eilish

o children - nick cave & the bad seeds

only love can hurt like this - paloma faith

ophelia - the lumineers

out of my league - fitz and the tantrums

____________________

p |

paper rings - taylor swift

paradise - coldplay

photograph - ed sheeran

peices - danilo stankovic

pretty boy - the neighborhood

purple rain - prince

____________________

r |

remember that night - sara kays

revenge - xxxtentacion

rewrite the stars - the greatest showman

right here - chase atlantic

riptide - vance joy

rolling in the deep - adele

rosyln - bon iver and st. vincent

run - onerepublic

____________________

s |

say it first - role model

see you again - charlie puth and wiz khalifa

see you later - jenna raine

sexy and i know it - lmfao (this is kind of a joke but also not, sorry)

she - harry styles

she looks so perfect - 5sos

sign of the times - harry styles

silence - marshmello and khalid

sleep on the floor - the lumineers

slow dancing in the dark - joji

solas - jamie duffy

soleil soleil - pomme

somebody to you - the vamps

someone like you - adele

someone to you - banners

somewhere only we know - keane

space song - beach house

sparks - coldplay

stella - cereus bright

stereo hearts - gym class heroes

stolen dance - milky chance

stubborn love - the lumineers

style - taylor swift

summer&cigarettes - sammy rash

sunkissed - khai dreams

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex

sweet creature - harry styles

sweet dreams, tn - the last shadow puppet

____________________

t |

take me home - jess glynne

take me home - cash cahs and bebe rexha

take on the world - you me at six

tenerife sea - ed sheeran

this is home - cavetown

this is how you fall in love - jeremy zucker

this side of paradise - coyote theory

this town - niall horan

till forever falls apart - ashe and finneas

tongue tied - grouplove

tonight tonight - hot chella rae

touch - sleeping at last

treehouse - alex g

the nights - avicii

the night we met - lord huron

the truth - james arthur

turning page - sleeping at last

____________________

u |

us - james bay

use somebody - shawn mendes

____________________

w |

wait - m83

waiting for love - avicii

wake me up - avicii

war of hearts - ruelle

watch - billie eilish

we are the champions - queen

welcome home - radical face

welcome to wonderland - anson seabra

what makes you beautiful - one direction

where is my mind - maxence cyrin

when will i see you again - shakka

where's my love - syml

why'd you only call me when you're high - arctic monkeys

wildest dreams - taylor swift

the wisp sings - winter aid

wonder - shawn mendes

wyd now? - sadie jean

____________________

y |

yellow - coldplay

ylang ylang - fkj and ((( o )))

you & i - one direction

youth - troye sivan

young - vacations

____________________

[natalieironside]

SO#5: Local Man Drives All The Way To Jackson For Grindr Hookup

[By Tammy Lynn O'Hanrahan, correspondent]

They say that sometimes  we look for love in all the wrong places, but could our beloved  Scruggsdale, Mississippi be the wrong place?

We here in the town of  Scruggsdale and in wider, unincorporated Scruggsdale County take pride  in being an accepting community, between the rec center's vibrant LGBT  Youth program and the town council's recent decision that my wife can  use whatever goddamn bathroom she pleases [[ed.note--change this before  we go to print, and have a talk with Tammy about editorial voice]], but  no place is perfect, as exemplified by our story tonight.

Mr. Arlo Kirkpatrick, an  IWW 490 union welder who works as a millwright at the Hood sawmill just  north of town and is a life-long Scruggsdale resident, recently  traveled all the way to our state's capital to spend a night with his  new boyfriend.  In an interview with the Scruggsdale Organizer,  Mr. Kirkpatrick said, "Look, Tammy, there's like a thousand people in  this town and I'm tired of opening up my phone and seeing the same six  dudes over and over again.  This is bullshit.  Hell, last week I had to  drive a hour way out past the old paper mill just to hook up with one of  them dudes this damn app said was 'local' but when I rolled up I saw he  had all them rebel flags and a Trump sticker on the back of his truck  so you know that ain't happenin.  And there sure as hell ain't no tops  in Scruggsdale, but, well, there ain't no tops in Jackson either so I  guess that's whatever."

Regarding our  community's reputation for tolerance, Mr. Kirkpatrick said, "Well, yeah,  most folks is basically decent, except for that lady at the antique  store and ol' what's-his-face who works the day shift at the Gas N' Go  and a couple others but we already knew they was assholes anyways.  That  ain't the problem.  Problem is bein stuck at the ass-end of nowhere  tryna hook up with the same six dudes over and over again.  Y'know,  sometimes I think about movin to one of them big cities like New York or  San Francisco or Hazlehurst, but y'know I got a good job here and  Cindy's got her classes at the community college and the kids is about  to start a new school year so I guess I'm just hangin around here drivin  around the backwoods playin dick roulette for the foreseeable future."

Regarding his wife of  twelve years and their four children, Mr. Kirkpatrick said, "Aw, hell,  this was Cindy's idea.  See, she'd been spendin a lot of time with ol'  Tony Tomlinson down at the Pizza Hut and I got reminded that I ain't  done no exploring of my sexuality since way back in trade school, so one  day I was mopin around the house and she says 'What's wrong, Arlo?' and  I says 'How come you get a boyfriend and I don't?  That ain't fair.'   And she says, 'Ain't nobody told you can't, dipshit.'  So here I am."

Mr. Kirkpatrick  concluded our interview by glaring ruefully up at the heavens and  grumbling, "I had to drive all the way to goddamn Jackson just to get my  dick sucked.  Fuckin Jackson.  This is bullshit."

***

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[danascullysjournal]

If You Will Let Me

Post-Milagro X-Files Fic

Mulder and Scully attempt to find the farm for their latest fertilizer paperwork check, and find themselves lost.

Chapter 10: Nowhere, USA

“I’m glad the coffee is okay.” Mulder’s eyes glanced over from the road to take her in, watching her hold the gas station styrofoam cup with the solemn attention reserved for the Eucharist.

Scully felt his eyes on her, met them, and smiled back appreciatively. After four days of sleep deprivation, this halfway decent cup of caffeine was not only heavenly, it was necessary. Travel was exhausting on a good day, but under the circumstances, she was not entirely convinced that the liquid she took in wasn’t a potion to ward off complete insanity.

“Corn… Corn… Corn…. Oh look- more corn. Everything is corn,” he muttered. “Scully. I hate corn.” He glanced over to her again and was rewarded with a raised eyebrow and a grin.

Mulder shifted in the drivers seat, repositioning his body in a vain attempt at comfort, and yawned. The endless rows of corn passed on repeat, working into a numbing green rhythm in his peripheral vision, dulling his focus. His coffee was long gone, and he wished he had gotten a second for the road. His right fingers fell to the console, drumming in irritation.

“Scully. I hate to say this, but-“

“We’re lost.” She finished, sighing before she could stop herself. Tired, sky blue eyes shut as her head tilted back in the seat. She felt the rental car slow and pull off to the side of the road. Lost wasn’t so bad, she mused. At least she had him.

“I’m sorry,” Mulder said sheepishly.

Scully turned her head and opened her eyes, a strand of copper lilting over her cheek, her lips turned up in a grin.

“I can think of much worse places to be. And much worse people to be stuck with.” Her slender fingers tucked themselves into his, ceasing his drumming. Willing his worry to stop.

He offered a small smile in response, his hazel eyes conflicted. He wanted to be the sure, steady one she needed, guiding them to their destination, keeping her safe and secure. And he also wanted to forget the whole case and take her away from all this. To be together, without Kersh. Without mundane paperwork repetition. Without the incessant worry that the Syndicate, whoever they truly were, would catch up, take hold, and destroy them. Destroy her. If anything happened to her…. Mulder chased the thought away. He simply wouldn’t allow it. There was no one else on the planet that mattered anymore.

“Don’t suppose there’s a map we can use?” he asked. He looked at the county road sign, crooked on the crossroads between cornfield and cornfield, and cursed under his breath while Scully rummaged in the side pocket by the passenger seat.

“Here,” she said, offering a wrinkled booklet. Mulder took it, frowned, and stepped out of the car, walking to the hood in order to unfold the map. Scully followed suit, grabbing the crinkly water bottle from the gas station and stretching.

The best road atlas the government could afford would be no match for the back country roads once the corn crop dug its roots in and began its late season ascent to the sky in earnest. But the map in the rental car was decidedly not the best road atlas. It was outdated by at least ten years, and Mulder found himself struggling to find their initial exit, let alone the village they had stayed in the night before.

Leaning over the faded network of lines, Mulder glared. They could backtrack, of course, but that would put them further behind schedule. Kersh would love that.

“Scully, can you make sense of this?” He moved over and let her step forward to study the map while he rolled up his shirtsleeves, loosening his tie. The droplets of sweat were beginning to drip down his forehead, and he had been outside of the car’s air conditioning for all of three minutes. “Summer here is hell,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“Mhmm,” Scully agreed. “We can take a shower when we get back to the motel.” She traced her fingers over the map in a vain attempt to correlate their location at the crossroads to a point on the paper, and felt him hovering over her.

“Wait, ‘we’ can take a shower?” Mulder asked. His fingers meandered gently down from the nape of her neck, following the gentle slope of her spine to the small of her back. She straightened, shivering at his influence over her body, and turned toward him, watching the tender, hopeful smile on his lips. Her water bottle tumbled to the gravel road.

“Is that what you want?” she said softly. Her breathing betrayed her excitement.

“Is that what you want, is the question, Scully.” He tilted his head, taking in her pale eyes, her flushed cheeks. Waiting respectfully.

Forgetting the map, the heat, and her exhaustion, Scully allowed her palms to travel up his chest, wrapping slowly around his neck, pulling him down until his lips touched hers. Mulder had his answer, and he let out a deep, muffled groan of pleasure as their bodies pressed together.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, her lips parted on his. She wanted more of him.

Without a second thought, he took the invitation, kissing her deeply, and his knees buckled at the soft moan in the back of her throat. He fumbled on unsure legs, and his weight pushed her backward, laying on the burning hood of the car.

“Oh, Scully I’m sorry,” he managed through her lips, and moved to stand up.

She laughed, holding tightly, keeping him down. Digging her nails into the back of his neck, her hunger for him overtaking her in the moment. She had waited years for this, for him. And in the middle of absolute nowhere, USA, she wanted him to know how much she craved him. Mulder’s arms wrapped around her small frame, trying to shield her from the heat radiating off the car. She smelled of faint perfume, of coffee and sweat, and he found himself desperate to unbutton her shirt, to taste her skin. He knew he was pressing hard onto her, she had to feel him. But she made no move to stop him. He traveled from her lips, letting his tongue and teeth explore her neck.

“Oh, Mulder, wow,” she murmured.

He broke away enough to gaze down at her, sprawled on the hood of a rental car, white shirt sweat-soaked and hair wild. She was breathless.

“Is this too much?” His eyes were heavy with desire and concern. He would reign himself in, if he needed to. She tilted her head, grinning through eyes squinted tight from the glare of the summer sun.

“Mulder, you are always too much.”

He furrowed his brow, moving to push back. “Oh, I-“

“No.” She grabbed his tie, reeling him back to her body. “Too much, in the best way. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.” Her lips found his again, and she bit softly.

“Scully, what you do to me…” he sighed, craning his neck up for air and clarity in the sweltering heat. He kissed her forehead. “What should we do, then, so we can get to that shower asap?”

She smiled, pulling him back to her for one more small kiss. “Mmmm. Well. You won’t like it. We could keep going, find someone and ask for directions?”

Reluctantly, Mulder pushed himself up from the car and stepped back, frowning. He hated having to ask for help of any kind. But given the current circumstances, it was that, or regroup back at the hotel, losing a full day and summoning even more of Kersh’s derision.

“I suppose,” he said, helping her upright.

Scully made a vain attempt to smooth out her wrinkled, sweaty shirt and folded up the map. “I don’t like it either, but there has to be a house somewhere. Someone has to be growing all this corn.” She looked up at him. “Besides, I have to use the restroom.” He grinned.

“But, Scully, there’s cornfields-“

“Shut up, Mulder.”

—————

Notes:

Well, this has become a case fic. Ooops. If you want the love and happiness, without more insanity, probably ought to stop here.

After speaking with a fellow X-Phile who shares my love of overcoming pain, I have decided to follow the plot as it is unfolding, despite me not particularly liking every aspect. As I’ve claimed, characters decide for you, and as a creator, you can guide your art to a degree, but forcing it makes it cheap and hollow. If the work desires more violence, more mountains to move, then I want to accommodate. The next chapter is almost finished and, while it is no worse than what one would find in an X Files case on screen (well, mostly)- it is definitely not pleasant for a bit.

So be warned. But for now, I do hope you enjoyed the make out session on the hood of a car in the middle of Nowhere, USA. ♥️

[shorkbrian]

Hooked

I cannot stop thinking about!!! Tendou in the desert. Mainly because I went for a walk and found a bunch of creepy stuff, and Tendou would fit right into the creepy-desert-aesthetic. (also..... he’d be the type to have a meth trailer out in the middle of nowhere lol)

(What to expect - bad writing, a dead body, Tendou being weird. No NSFW)

He’s just absolutely batshit crazy. There’s no explanation for his actions.

Like you go for a walk in the mountains, intent on seeing a beautiful, iconic desert sunset, skies dyed pink, purple, orange and red.

It gets dark faster than you anticipated though, and you’re left trying to stumble back to your car in the pitch black night, temperature quickly dropping.

And of course, you aren’t prepared at all. It’s the desert, it isn’t supposed to get cold. So you’re shivering, freezing, skin going numb, starting to feel a bit sluggish as you wonder how the fuck it’s so fucking cold.

There’s a light off in the distance, maybe your car? Had you left the light on?

Stumbling closer, tripping over rocks and trying to avoid cactus, you try to focus on the light, on the outline. It almost looks too high to be your car.

Then you hit the dirt, foot twisting over a rock, causing you to crash onto your side, landing your hip directly onto a cactus. You screech at the stinging pain that stabs into your hip, the side of your butt, your outer thigh.

It hurts to stand up, and you can’t even assess the damage done, because it’s dark and as soon as you try to feel your hip, sharp spines make you cry out, pulling your hand back.

All that’s left for you to do is cry as you make your way towards the light, hoping, praying it’s your car.

As you limp closer, tears dripping down your face at the pain of the cactus spines, the cold, your now-sore ankle, you quickly discern that the light’s source comes from a house.

Specifically, a trailer.

There’s junk everywhere, piles of it, and you trip over a few stray.... well, you can’t really make out what it is, with how dark it is. But you make it to the door.

And yeah, this is super creepy. You’re out in the middle of nowhere, it’s dark, with no flashlight, no jacket. You’re vulnerable, but you’re so freaking cold, and you think there’s blood on your leg from where you’ve been stabbed with the cactus spines.

You need help.

So you gather up the courage, pray that there’s someone home, that it’s not a serial killer, and knock on the door of the trailer.

There’s a loud thump, high pitched, muffled cursing, then some shuffling. The clicking of locks on the door, and then it swings open, revealing a man holding a shotgun.

Well fuck.

He’s lanky, thin and wirey, wild red hair tangled on top of his head. Large, hooded eyes squint at you sleepily, before the man cocks his head.

“You lost?”

“Uhm, yeah..... hi.” You sniffle out, and the man’s eyes visibly widen as he realizes you’re crying, in nothing but a short sleeve shirt and a pair of pants, standing out in the cold.

The inside of the trailer is warm, and it makes your cheeks, ears, and frozen hands tingle as feeling begins returning to them. How had it gotten so cold in the fucking desert?

The man introduces himself as Tendou Satori, deputy of Shiratorizawa county. He’s not lying to you either, has the badge, the uniform - it even explains the shotgun.

He clicks his tongue when you limp inside, as light falls upon your hip and shows your jeans darkened with blood. Tells you to warm up first, sit in front of the heater vent, then he’ll help you with the cactus.

“What’re you doing way out here? City’s kinda far.”

“I was gonna watch the sunset, take pictures ‘n stuff.” You offered, wrapping the blanket he had provided more firmly around yourself. His gaze makes you uncomfortable, and you’re not sure why. It’s not like he’s going to do anything bad, he’s a police deputy.

His eyes are so flat though, still hooded even though he’s very much awake. Maybe that’s just the way he looks, but it’s a bit creepy.

“Didn’t think it’d get dark as fast as it did? Is that why you were wanderin’ around out there?”

You nodded. “Didn’t know it could get so cold either.”

Tendou chuckles, high pitched, and you wince. He sounds like a creepy funhouse clown when he laughs like that. “Ehehe, lots of people get caught off guard by desert weather. Think it’s hot all the time, can’t even imagine that it gets a bit chilly. You’re lucky I’m posted up here, otherwise you’d be a popsicle by morning!”

He was so nonchalant about the idea of you freezing to death, you didn’t know how to respond.

Luckily, you had warmed up enough to stop shaking, teeth no longer clattering together. Tendou told you to stay put while he got supplies to fix up “Your little owie!”

It was much more than a ‘little’ wound.

The trailer was filled with thick awkwardness as Tendou asked you to peel off your pants so he could get to the spines embedded in your skin. He didn’t seem to understand that you felt a little embarrassed, didn’t even turn his back as you slowly pushed them to your ankles, wincing as they dragged over your bloodied hip.

“Ok-ay! Now, this’ll hurt, so try not to scream a whole bunch, right?”

And then he was digging in with tweezers, delicately extracting cactus spines from your puffy, swollen hip, the side of your butt, your outer thigh.

It hurt, badly, and you started crying again, much to your embarrassment. Tendou didn’t seem to mind, kept his eyes fixed on your bloody leg as he quickly tended to it.

“I’ll be done soon, don’t worry. You’ll have to hydrate a bunch after I’m done though.”

“Why does it hurt so much? Are they poisonous?” You yelped as the man tugged on a particularly painful spine, furrowing his brows in concentration as he pulled it out.

“Oh! It’s cause they’re like little meat hooks.” He looked up at you, smiling, holding his most recent extraction with his tweezers so you could see. “They get pretty attached once they get in you, hehe, but I’ll make you better.”

Forty minutes later had Tendou finishing up, finally deeming you cactus-free after a thorough inspection. He had plucked out the large spines with tweezers, before running his hand over your skin, stilling you when you flinched, explaining that he was feeling for the small needles.

You felt insanely uncomfortable, with his hands and face that close to such an intimate area. 

“All do-ne!” The man sang, straightening his back, giving you a gleaming smile. His lips stretched too far over his teeth. “Now, I’ll get you some pants, and some water. You want to sleep in the bed with me? Or on the couch?”

What?

The panicked confusion must be evident on your face, because Tendou cackled, standing up, towering over you. 

“Can’t go back out there, you wanna die? Gotta stay until mornin’.”

“The couch please.” The choice was easy, and Tendou nodded, before disappearing through a doorway into a dark room, coming back with an armful of blankets. He tossed a pair of pajama pants at you from the pile, but you hesitated in putting them on.

“Um.... Mr.? Can I have something to wipe off the blood?” It was crusted on your leg, dried and dark brown now.

Tendou turned from making up the couch, blinked at you slowly, looked at your leg. “Guess I should do that!” 

You had to wait a bit longer, until he had arranged the couch to his liking, before the strange man fetched a wet washcloth to wipe off your leg with.

It was warm, and he was thorough as he sponged off the blood. The way he licked his lips while doing so made you feel a bit uneasy.

When you were finally clean, you tugged on your new pants quickly, finally feeling a bit more comfortable now that you were no longer exposed.

“Wanna eat before you go to bed? I have-” Tendou bent to shuffle through his fridge. “-Oh! I have applesauce! and crackers! Yum Yum!” Both items were held aloft triumphantly. 

Who kept crackers in the fridge?

You just wanted to go to sleep.

“I’m good, thank you though.”

“Okay, beddy-bye time then I guess.” Why did he talk so childishly? 

You tried to relax as he turned out the lights, bidding you good night as he shuffled back through the doorway, apparently into his bedroom.

Tomorrow you’d find your car, and everything would be fine.

-----

Tendou was sitting on the couch when you woke up, your bare feet in his lap.

“Good morning~!” His voice was so loud, you were wincing at the volume, at the sunlight streaming through the dingy curtains, at your first good look at his trailer - he’d kept it dark last night, only turning on one light.

It was clean, well, as clean as a trailer could be. Nothing suspicious or worrisome.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” The man questioned, suddenly leaning far too close, his hand sliding up your calf.

“Oh-uhm-” You stuttered, blushing at the proximity, the foreign touch. “I should go find my car...”

Tendou rolled his eyes, backing off quickly. “Too boring. Also too far. It’ll hurt to walk, you won’t be able to make it.”

You raised an eyebrow, immediately testing out his claim, hissing in pain as soon as you moved your leg.

Apparently, it was swollen and sore.

He was right, walking hurt, and you barely hobbled to the little bathroom without Tendou’s assistance. Maybe he could go find your car and bring it here? It had to be close by, you hadn’t been walking for that long last night...

“So!” Tendou clapped his hands, and you started, almost bumping into him as he stood, leaning over you on the couch. “Tell me about yourself, it’s been so long since I’ve had anyone over. You have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Where’s your family? I’ve always wanted someone to keep me company here.”

“Woah, wait, what?”

Tendou chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re going to stay here with me now! I think we should get to know each other a bit, don’t you?”

Staying with him? Here? What was going on?

“Um, Mr.-”

“Tendou... or Satori, your choice.” The man interjected, before moving to flop down next to you on the couch.

“Tendou-” You continued. “-I can’t stay here. I need to find my car, and drive back to the city, back to my home. My roommate will be worried...”

“Home is here.” His tone was so matter-of-fact, it shocked you silent.

“You had a roommate though? How fun!!” He chirped, and you didn’t miss the emphasis on “had”. “You ever have sex with them?”

Tendou had moved in a second, pressed to your side, his face too close to yours, and you panicked.

“I gotta go. Really, I’m sorry, thank you for helping me out last night but I need to get going-” You were on your feet, ignoring the pain lancing through your leg as you hobbled quickly to the door, throwing it open.

A hand tugged on your shirt, pulling you off balance and forcing you to step backwards. 

“You’re leaving? But I did so much for you, you haven’t even paid me back...”

His grip on your shirt was firm, but you wriggled and writhed until he was forced to let go. “I-I promise I’ll pay you when I get to my car. My wallet’s there, you can have everything in it-”

You pushed forward, through the door, barely dodging Tendou’s grabby hands. This wasn’t right, there was something off about him, you needed to get away.

“I don’t want you to go.” But you weren’t listening to his suddenly deep, serious voice. Instead, you were frantically looking around, trying to figure out which way you had come from last night. 

There was nothing but cactus, rocks, and dirt.

“I was wishing for company the other day, y’know? It gets so lonely here, the sheriff isn’t a good conversationalist.”

The sheriff?

You whirled around, Tendou standing in the door, looking off to the side. You followed his gaze, saw the lawn chair, the upturned bucket next to it, two empty bottles of beer. There were more bottles littering the ground.... there was another lawn chair-

-and the fully-dressed body of a sheriff, half-decayed, sat in it.

You didn’t even think to scream; who would hear you out here? All you did was run, adrenaline roaring through your veins and letting you forget about your wounded leg.

“Wait!” Tendou called after you gleefully, bouncing out of the doorway. “You’re hurting his feelings! Ahehehe!!”

The man was deranged.

And you very quickly realized that there was no where to run.

Nowhere to hide.

-----

You couldn’t see your car, or anything that looked familiar. The only sounds in the air was the panting of your own breath, your feet thudding slowly underneath you as your initial shock wore off, as the adrenaline left you, as the pain returned.

It had only been a few minutes since you took off, speeding away from the unhinged madman. You were left wondering if he was really the deputy - maybe he’d killed the deputy, stolen his uniform.

Then you wondered why there was a dead sheriff in his yard. Had no one come looking for him? Where was the sheriff’s car? What was even going on?

It’s warm, the sun beginning to beat down on you relentlessly, and you curse the desert. Curse it’s unbearable heat during the day, it’s frigid temperatures at night. 

“Pretty girl!!! I found you~!” Tendou’s shrill voice had you jerking your head around, frantically trying to see where the man was. Had he been following you? Where was he, there was nothing he could hide behind!

“You want to go for a ride in my fancy car? Is that it? I’ll take you to dinner, then we’ll kiss under the moon!” The man cackled, and you determined that the voice was coming from your left.

But... there was nothing there?

Tentative, painful steps forward, towards his voice. Where was he? If you couldn’t see him, you couldn’t fight him. You needed to know where the creep was.

A careful step.

A careful step.

A careful st-

A terrified scream tore from your lungs as your foot seemingly plunged into thin air, immediately landing you on your butt as you slide down a steep incline.

It was a ravine.

You tumbled down into it’s depths, getting scraped by rocks and brush. Luckily, you slammed into something solid, metal, and it stopped your tumultuous motion.

Gaining your bearings, you stared hard at the door of the police car you’d just collided with, before a hand popped out of the window, waving at you.

“Beep beep!” Tendou snickered, his flat eyes taking in your disheveled appearance. “Let’s mess around, I’ve heard doing it in a car is fun.”

There’s no one around to hear you scream.

[dweemeister]

The complete list of films featured in 2021′s “31 Days of Oscar” marathon

What follows is the exhaustive list of all 403 short- and feature-length films featured on this blog over the last thirty-one days for the 31 Days of Oscar marathon. This number is up from last year’s count of 327 and is the second-highest number of films I have ever featured in this marathon (behind the 410 films from 2016). Despite the number, this remains only a fraction of the nearly 5,000 films that have been nominated for Academy Awards. This year’s marathon was harder to plan than usual due to the fact it was presented in alphabetical order - with the exception of any write-ups I did.

BREAKDOWN BY DECADE 1927-1929: 7 1930s: 44 1940s: 63 1950s: 63 1960s: 46 1970s: 25 1980s: 29 1990s: 28 2000s: 25 2010s: 43 2020s: 30

Year with most representation (2020 excluded): 1940 (ten films) Median year: 1964

And now, the list. Best Picture winners and the one (and only) winner for Unique and Artistic Production are in bold. Asterisked (*) films are films I haven’t seen in their entirety as of the publishing of this post.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Ace in the Hole (1951)

Adam’s Rib (1949)*

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

After the Thin Man (1936)*

Airport (1970)*

Aladdin (1992)

Albert Nobbs (2011)

Alexander’s Ragtime Band (1938)

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)

Almost Famous (2000)

An American in Paris (1951)

Anastasia (1956)

Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

Annie (1982)

Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)

Arrival (2016)

Au Revoir Les Enfants (1987, France)

The Awful Truth (1937)

Babe (1995)

Baby Doll (1956)*

Ballad of a Soldier (1959, Soviet Union)*

The Band Wagon (1953)

Bao (2018 short)

Ben-Hur (1959)

Berkeley Square (1933)

The Best Man (1964)

Better Days (2019, Hong Kong)*

The Big Chill (1983)*

The Birds (1963)

Birds Anonymous (1957 short)

Black Orpheus (1959, Brazil)

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Blue Velvet (1986)

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)*

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2020)*

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Brief Encounter (1945)

Brotherhood (2018 short, Tunisia/Canada/Qatar/Sweden)

Cabin in the Sky (1943)

Calamity Jane (1953)

Carol (2015)*

Casablanca (1942)

Casino (1995)*

Charade (1963)

The Circus (1928)

Citizen Kane (1941)

City of God (2002, Brazil)*

Claudine (1974)*

Closely Watched Trains (1966, Czechoslovakia)

Coraline (2009)*

Da 5 Bloods (2020)*

Dances with Wolves (1990)

Death in Venice (1971)*

Destination Moon (1950)*

The Devil and Daniel Webster (1941)

Down Argentine Way (1940)

Dunkirk (2017)

Easter Parade (1948)

The Edge of Democracy (2019, Brazil)*

Educated Fish (1937 short)*

El Cid (1961)*

Elmer Gantry (1960)

The End of the Affair (1999)*

Ernest & Celestine (2012, France/Belgium)

Face to Face (1976, Sweden)*

The Fallen Idol (1948)

Fantasia (1940)

A Fantastic Woman (2017, Chile)*

Far from the Madding Crowd (1967)*

A Farewell to Arms (1932)*

A Few Good Men (1992)*

Five Easy Pieces (1970)*

The Five Pennies (1959)

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. (1953)

Flower Drum Song (1961)

Flowers and Trees (1932 short)

Flying Down to Rio (1933)*

For All Mankind (1989)

For Sama (2019)*

Forbidden Planet (1956)

Forrest Gump (1994)

42nd Street (1933)

Four Days in November (1964)*

The Four Feathers (1939)

The 400 Blows (1959, France)

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)*

From Here to Eternity (1953)

Funny Face (1957)

Funny Girl (1968)

Fury (1936)*

Gandhi (1982)

The Garden of Allah (1936)

Garden Party (2017 short, France)

Gaslight (1944)

Giant (1956)

Gigi (1958)

Gladiator (2000)

The Godfather (1972)

The Godfather, Part II (1974)

Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)

Gorillas in the Mist (1988)*

Gosford Park (2001)

Grand Hotel (1932)

Grand Prix (1966)*

The Great Beauty (2013, Italy)

The Great Race (1965)

The Great Ziegfeld (1936)

Green Book (2018)

Green Dolphin Street (1947)*

The Green Mile (1999)*

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967)

Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)

Gunga Din (1939)

Hair Love (2019 short)

Hallelujah (1929)*

Hamlet (1948)

Hamlet (1990)

Hamlet (1996)

Hangmen Also Die! (1943)*

The Happiest Millionaire (1967)

A Hard Day’s Night (1964)

Harlan County U.S.A. (1976)

The Harvey Girls (1946)

Heartbreak Ridge (1986)*

The Heiress (1949)

Hell’s Angels (1930)*

Henry V (1989)

Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941)

Hero (2002, China)*

Hidden Figures (2016)

The High and the Mighty (1954)*

High Noon (1952)

High Society (1956)

Himalaya (1999, France/Switzerland/United Kingdom/Nepal)*

Home Alone (1990)

Honeysuckle Rose (1980)*

Hoosiers (1986)

The House on 92nd Street (1945)*

How the West Was Won (1962)

How to Survive a Plague (2012)*

I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang (1932)

I Married a Witch (1942)*

I Never Sang for My Father (1970)

I Vitelloni (1953, Italy)*

I Wanted Wings (1941)*

I, Tonya (2017)*

Ida (2013, Poland)

Imitation of Life (1959)

In Cold Blood (1967)

In the Absence (2018 short, South Korea)

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Inherit the Wind (1960)

Inside Daisy Clover (1965)*

Inside Moves (1980)*

It Happened One Night (1934)

It Happened Tomorrow (1944)*

It Should Happen to You (1954)*

It’s Always Fair Weather (1955)

Jackie Brown (1997)*

Jammin’ the Blues (1944 short)*

Jaws (1975)

The Jazz Singer (1927)

Jerry’s Cousin (1951 short)

Jesus Camp (2006)*

Jezebel (1938)

Jim: The James Foley Story (2016)*

Joe’s Violin (2016 short)

The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)

Joyeux Noel (2005, France)

Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

Julia (1977)*

Juliet of the Spirits (1965, Italy)

Kagemusha (1980, Japan)

The Karate Kid (1984)

The Killers (1946)*

The King and I (1956)

The King’s Speech (2010)

The Kite Runner (2007)

Knights of the Round Table (1953)*

Knives Out (2019)

Kundun (1997)*

La Ronde (1950, France)*

La Strada (1954, Italy)

La Traviata (1982, Italy)*

Lady Be Good (1941)*

The Lady Eve (1941)

The Ladykillers (1955)*

The Last Emperor (1987)

A Letter to Three Wives (1949)

The Life Ahead (2020, Italy)*

Life is Beautiful (1997, Italy)

Life with Feathers (1945 short)

Lili (1953)

Lilies of the Field (1963)

The Lion in Winter (1968)*

Little Caesar (1931)

A Little Romance (1979)

Little Women (2019)

Logan (2017)

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Lost Horizon (1937)

Love Affair (1939)*

Love Story (1970)*

Loving Vincent (2017)

The Magic Flute (1975, Sweden)

The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)

Malcolm X (1992)

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

A Man for All Seasons (1966)

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

The Manchurian Candidate (1962)

Maria Full of Grace (2004, Colombia)*

Meet Me in Las Vegas (1956)*

Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)

Mighty Joe Young (1949)*

Milk (2008)

Million Dollar Mermaid (1952)*

The Miracle Worker (1962)*

Mon Oncle (1958, France)

Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday (1953, France)*

Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)

My Fair Lady (1964)

My Favorite Wife (1940)

My Favorite Year (1982)

My Night at Maud’s (1969)*

The Narrow Margin (1952)

The Natural (1984)

Nebraska (2013)

Network (1976)

Night Must Fall (1937)*

Nightcrawler (2014)*

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Ninotchka (1939)

Nowhere in Africa (2001, Germany)*

Odd Man Out (1947)*

The Official Story (1985, Argentina)*

Oklahoma! (1955)*

Oliver! (1968)

On Golden Pond (1981)*

On the Riviera (1951)*

On the Waterfront (1954)

One Day in September (1999)*

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

One Foot in Heaven (1941)

One Hour with You (1932)

One Potato, Two Potato (1964)*

Only Angels Have Wings (1939)*

Our Town (1940)

Paisan (1946, Italy)

Pal Joey (1957)*

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006, Mexico)

Paper Moon (1973)*

Parasite (2019, South Korea)

The Parent Trap (1961)

A Passage to India (1984)*

Patton (1970)

Pelle the Conqueror (1987, Denmark)*

Period. End of Sentence. (2018 short)

Persepolis (2007, France)

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)

Pigs in a Polka (1943 short)*

Pillow Talk (1959)*

Pinocchio (1940)

Places in the Heart (1984)*

Poltergeist (1982)

Portrait of Jennie (1948)

Precious (2009)*

The Prisoner of Zenda (1937)

The Private Life of Helen of Troy (1927)*

The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939)*

The Producers (1967)

Psycho (1960)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Purple Rain (1984)

Puss Gets the Boot (1940 short)

Pygmalion (1938)

Quiet Please! (1945 short)

Quo Vadis, Aida? (2020, Bosnia-Herzegovina)*

Rachel, Rachel (1968)*

Ran (1985, Japan)

Random Harvest (1942)

Rashômon (1950, Japan)

Rasputin and the Empress (1932)*

Rear Window (1954)

Rebecca (1940)

Red River (1948)

The Red Shoes (1948)

A River Runs Through It (1992)

Road to Perdition (2002)

Roma (2018, Mexico)

Saludos Amigos (1942)

Same Time, Next Year (1978)*

The Secret of Kells (2009)

Sense and Sensibility (1995)*

Sergeant York (1941)

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

Seven Samurai (1954, Japan)

Shadow of a Doubt (1943)

The Shape of Water (2017)

Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015)*

She Done Him Wrong (1933)*

She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949)

The Shootist (1976)

The Shop on Main Street (1965, Czechoslovakia)

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Silverado (1985)

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

The Smiling Lieutenant (1931)

The Snake Pit (1948)*

Song of the Sea (2014)

Sounder (1972)

The Sound of Music (1965)

The Spanish Main (1945)*

Speedy (1928)

Speedy Gonzales (1955 short)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Spirited Away (2001, Japan)

Stagecoach (1939)

A Star is Born (1937)

A Star is Born (1954)

A Star is Born (1976)*

A Star is Born (2018)

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Star Wars (1977)

Starship Troopers (1997)

The Sting (1973)

A Stolen Life (1946)*

The Story of Three Loves (1953)*

The Story of the Weeping Camel (2003, Mongolia)*

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946)*

The Stranger (1946)*

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

Strike Up the Band (1940)

Strings (1991 short)*

The Sundowners (1960)*

Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)

Superman (1978)

Sweet Bird of Youth (1962)

Swing Time (1936)

T-Men (1947)*

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013, Japan)

Tangerines (2013, Estonia)*

Tenet (2020)

Them! (1954)

Theodora Goes Wild (1936)*

Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo (1944)*

This is Cinerama (1952)*

The Three Musketeers (1948)

Three Orphan Kittens (1935 short)

Time (2020)*

Timecode (2016 short, Spain)

Tom Jones (1963)

Toni Erdmann (2016, Germany)*

Top Hat (1935)

The Triplets of Belleville (2003, France)*

The Truman Show (1998)*

12 Angry Men (1957)

Twilight of Honor (1963)*

Two Girls and a Sailor (1944)*

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Umberto D. (1952, Italy)

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964, France)

Unforgiven (1992)

Up (2009)

Vertigo (1958)

Victor/Victoria (1982)

WALL-E (2008)

Watch on the Rhine (1943)*

Waterloo Bridge (1940)

Weary River (1929)*

West Side Story (1961)

Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day (1968 short)

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Wolfwalkers (2020)

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

You Can’t Take It with You (1938)

Zorba the Greek (1964)*

The 15 nominated short films for the 93rd Academy Awards

The 8 nominees for Best Picture at the 93rd Academy Awards, including the winner, Nomadland

Until next year’s ceremony, folks - February will be here before we know it!