#nyfa learning

[writingquestionsanswered]

hello, since I've started wanting to make a comic series on my own over a year ago, your blog has been of great help to me since I'm more of a drawer than a writer. Though I've come to realize that the medium of comics may not always work with the advice you usually give for the medium of books/novels. So I was wondering if you had any advice for writing comics, and if not, do you happen to know any blogs that do or that specialize in writing for comics?

Thank You!

Books for Writing Comics

I'm so glad you've found the blog to be helpful. While there's some advice that certainly works across formats, there's a lot that doesn't, too.

Unfortunately, I've never written comics so I can't tell you anything about how to write them. What I can do is tell you that when similar questions have come up in the past, people have recommended the following books:

Stan Lee's How to Write Comics Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art by Scott McCloud Making Comics by Scott McCloud Comics and Sequential Art by Will Eisner Alan Moore's Writing For Comics The Art of Comic Book Writing by Mark Kneece Writers on Comics Scriptwriting Words for Pictures by Brian Michael Bendis and Joe Quesada

Also, Comics Experience, Udemy, NYFA, and other sites offer comic writing classes and workshops.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[ys405-3rdyearwriting]

Other references: How Will You Survive?, Finals Girls, Tips on writing a movie review and Magazines.

1) Nyfa (2023) How to write a movie review: 9 essential tips, NYFA. Available at: https://www.nyfa.edu/student-resources/9-tips-for-writing-a-film-review/ (Accessed: Autumn 2022).

2) Cooper, R. (2022) ‘SCREAM The Horror Bible For Horror Fans ’, SCREAM Magazine Issue 75, pp. 1–3. (Accessed at: 28/10/2022)

3) Recording presentation of artist/illustrator/publisher and former film director, Sam Arthur (Accessed at: 01/11/2022)

4) V&A Museum: Reimagining Musicals Exhibition at second floor - theatre and performance (Accessed at: 04/11/2022)

5) My Magazine Flat Plan (no date) Bradley’s As Magazine Portfolio. Available at: http://bradmedia.weebly.com/my-magazine-flat-plan.html (Accessed: 05 November 2022).

6) Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie (no date) Rules for surviving a horror movie. Available at: http://freaky_freya.tripod.com/horror_movie_rules.html (Accessed: 05 November 2022).

7) Welsh, A. (2010) ‘On the Perils of Living Dangerously in the Slasher Horror Film: Gender Differences in the Association Between Sexual Activity and Survival’, Sex roles, 62(11-12), pp. 762–773. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-010-9762-x. (Accessed at: 14/03/2023)

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[nahastrack]

Free game making software amazon

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Minecraft appears on basically every platform imaginable.

Free game making software amazon Pc#

What started as a promising indie game on the PC has morphed into one of the biggest franchises in the video game industry. Trello also lets you run AGILE development and SCRUM with a little know how. Trello is our current favorite because of it’s ease of use, flexibility, and ability to integrate other platforms such as Dropbox and Google Drive. There are many free online collaboration tools.

Free game making software amazon software#

It is approaching its year 10 anniversary and going strong, so you know it isn’t going to disappear any time soon.īest Free Project Management Software – Trello This software is being used by game developers, musicians, podcasters, filmmakers, and other creative people. The open source leader today is Audacity. This is especially true because of the need to communicate location in VR and AR to create an immersive experience. With the emergence of virtual reality and augmented reality, the demand for great sound design is stronger than ever. More info here.īest Free Sound Design Software – Audacity edu email and you can hang with the best of them. edu email address: MAYA reduces its price tag to $0 for three years! All you need is a. It is your one stop shop for 3D modeling, texturing, rigging, animation, and more. What GIMP is to Photoshop, Blender is Maya. MAYA, MAYA, MAYA - is all everyone says these days when it comes to 3D asset creation, and for good reason! Yet Maya’s price tag of $180 / month leads some developers to the great, functional open source alternative, Blender. Check out a world of tutorials on the web.īest Free 3D Art and Animation Software – Blender GIMP is a freely distributed program for image authoring, graphic design, and photo manipulation. GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program) is the open source version of the industry standard graphic design program, Adobe Photoshop. It is a free AAA engine that is deeply integrated with the Amazon Web Server (AWS) platform and Twitch.Īll of the engines we recommend are fully documented and come with a slew of tutorials online.Ĭompelling art is the make-or-break point on whether a new player will be willing to try a new game. Lumberyard is a relative newcomer to the game engine space. Have a look at their website if you want to learn more about the games Game developers of this free slot games website have used Unreal to develop the slot machine games. Games developed with Unreal include “ Gears of War ,” “ Borderlands 2 ,” “ Batman Arkham City ,” “ Bioshock ,” “ Mass Effect 2,” and more.

Free game making software amazon full#

When using this tool you are given the full force of a AAA tool. Unreal was created for it namesake (the Unreal franchise) and is a top of the line game engine through and through. Games made with Unity include: “ Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft,” “Deus Ex: The Fall ,” “ Assassin’s Creed: Identity ,” “ Temple Run Trilogy ,” “ Battlestar Galactica Online ,” and many more. Have a look at to find out which gambling apps make most money and developed on which software. Secondly, Unity allows developers to write their programs once and output to the top 25 game platforms including Windows, Mac, Playstation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, Oculus Rift, and many more. However, it also has the full power of object oriented programming through scripting languages with the most prevalent choice being C# (pronounced “C sharp”). Our platform at NYFA Games is Unity for two reasons.įirstly, Unity gives developers to build functioning games with little coding - e.g. Both are great and do many of the same things, so deciding between the two comes down to user preference. Amazingly, both platforms are now free to develop in.

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The most prevalent platforms used by professional game studios today are Unity and Unreal. They provide tested, reusable components that allow you to build more quickly and focus on making a great player experience.

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Game engines provide you ways to quickly implement core game functions like physics, rendering, scripting, collision detection, and much more without the need to custom code them. One of your first key decisions as a game developer is which game engine you will use. Everything on the list below is used by professional game developers.īest Free Game Engines – Unity and Unreal Sections include game engines, 2D art, 3D art and animation, sound design, and project management. Is the only thing keeping you from transforming your great game idea from dream to reality your wallet? Well then, you will be happy to hear that there are excellent free / open source software packages in every discipline you need to build a great game.

[nyfacurrent]

Register Now | Online Course: Build and Develop Your Fundraising Strategies

A deep dive into proposal writing, developing your networks, and individual giving this September and October via Zoom.

Interested in upping your fundraising game this fall? Join New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) and Asylum Arts as we offer an online course on developing and building fundraising strategies for your career and art practice. The course, which will provide deep-dives into proposal writing, developing your networks, and individual giving, is designed for artists of all disciplines and will be accessible anywhere you have internet access through Zoom. It will be taught by Rebecca Guber, Founder and Director of Asylum Arts.

The September and October course will focus on two topics: “Proposal Writing: How to Work Smarter, Not Harder, On Getting What You Want” and “Developing Your Networks and Individual Fundraising.” Each topic is comprised of a webinar and an interactive workshop, and artists can register for one or both depending on their individual needs. In order to provide personalized feedback, interactive workshops will be capped at 25 participants; those registering for an interactive workshop must first take the webinar on that topic. 

Cost:

$25 for one webinar

$75 for one webinar and the corresponding interactive workshop

$125 for the full course of two webinars and two interactive workshops

Guber, who brings 20 years of expertise in the art world to the course, has been called a “kind, knowledgeable presenter” and her previous proposal writing workshop was reviewed as a “lively, informative overview” by participant Laura Maria Censabella. "Even after being in the 'business’ for a while, I learned some things I can be doing better," said Censabella.

Read on for more details on each and how to register.

Proposal Writing: How to Work Smarter, Not Harder, On Getting What You Want

Webinar: Wednesday, September 23, 2020, 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM EDT Interactive Workshop: Wednesday, September 30, 2020, 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM EDT

Many opportunities for artists require written proposals, which can seem like a skill far away from your artistic process. This topic is geared towards individual artists seeking grant or residency program opportunities or who are looking to pitch projects via written materials.

The September 23 webinar will cover: 

How to present your best self and work in written proposals.

Different types of proposals that artists may encounter.

Common elements of a proposal and best practices.

How to be most efficient with your research and proposal writing.

What happens during the review process.

The September 30 interactive workshop will provide:

In-depth explanation of the different types of project budgets.

How to use budgets to tell the story of your project.

Pitfalls and challenges of budgets.

Key aspects of strong artist statements.

Feedback on your artist statement.

For more detailed information and to register for “Proposal Writing: How to Work Smarter, Not Harder, On Getting What You Want,” click here.

Developing Your Networks and Individual Fundraising

Webinar: Wednesday, October 21, 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM EDT Interactive Workshop: Wednesday, October 28, 2020, 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM EDT

This topic is for individual artists and those who run companies/organizations who would like to incorporate individual giving into their fundraising model, and better activate and cultivate their existing networks. 

The October 21 webinar will cover:

Fundamentals of individual giving.

Why people give.

Cultivation and relationship-building techniques.

How to ask for money.

How artists can leverage their networks to increase support for their work.

The October 28 interactive workshop will provide:

An in-depth look into the topics covered in the October 21 webinar.

Ways to identify your existing network and opportunities for growth.

Tips for speaking compellingly about your creative projects as a way to gain support.

Role-play and practice asking for funding

For more detailed information and to register for "Developing Your Networks and Individual Fundraising,” click here.

Interested in taking the full course? 

For more detailed information and to register for “Proposal Writing: How to Work Smarter, Not Harder, On Getting What You Want” and “Developing Your Networks and Individual Fundraising,” click here.

Presenter’s Bio: Rebecca Guber is the Director and Founder of Asylum Arts, a global network of over 600 emerging Jewish artists. She was previously the founder and Director of the Six Points Fellowship. Guber has built a community of artists exploring Jewish ideas and identity through fellowship commissions for new work, grants, international retreats, and professional development. Over the last 12 years, her projects have been the largest direct funder of emerging Jewish artists, distributing over 1.5 million dollars for new projects. Artists supported through her efforts have produced readings, workshops, and performances and have been featured in hundreds of articles and blog posts, including major press, radio, and national TV. Guber has also worked at the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council, the Museum of Jewish Heritage, and founded the Shpatzirin Festival. She has reviewed many thousands of proposals over her 20 years in the art world and has facilitated many review panels. Guber hates jargon, and loves proposals that are unusual, interesting, and paint a clear picture. 

Questions? Email learning@nyfa.org. 

This program is presented by NYFA Learning. Sign up here to receive NYFA News, a bi-weekly organizational email for upcoming awards, resources, and professional development. NYFA Learning also offers the monthly Immigrant Artist Program (IAP) Newsletter if you are interested in opportunities, professional development, events, and tips and advice specific to immigrant artists.

Image: NYFA Online Learning: Proposal Writing: How to Work Smarter, Not Harder, on Getting What You Want!, September 2019, Courtesy NYFA

[roseband]

...

[gaelanart]

Spent the weekend with these amazing women (and MK and Peter) at a Professional Artist Development workshop. Learning the non-art part of being an artist. Thank you Tanya @saratogaarts and @nyfacurrent for making it possible for all of us to meet and learn so much from one another. #nyfa #professionaldevelopment #workshop #artistworkshop #workshopforartists #saratogasprings #saratogaartscenter #newyorkfoundationforthearts #girls #girlpower #womenempowerment #empowerment #workingartist #workingwoman #learning #educational https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz8v4sOgyTM/?igshid=wvas9kmzvhud

[petscrub]

Hey as someone who just applied and got into film school i would say that new york film academy is absolutely not worth it. Sure you would learn some vital things but you’ll have no connections and a very low chance of getting a job in film after college. The top schools you want to look at are USC and NYU. Other great schools that would give you connections are Chapman University and Emerson College (where i’m going!).

hey, thanks. i keep getting conflicting responses. i really want to stay in nyc, which is why i was thinking nyu but all i ever hear is that ppl are miserable there. and i know it would be a good idea to move back to california and go to college there bc of the film programs, but idk if im ready to move back. i’d have to live in my childhood home probably -__- my life is here in nyc which is why i really wanted to find a good fit for me, and i know nothing about nyfa anyway, and it doesnt seem like the best either. so im pretty lost 🥴

[brooklynmuseum]

Stronger Together 

Weekly Resources for our Community


The Brooklyn Museum is first and foremost a community museum and we're here for you with our new weekly blog series chock full of resources for families, artists, local businesses and more.  We know many of our friends are facing unprecedented economic and personal difficulties so we hope this helps you through these challenging times.   If you have questions, or have more you wish to see or to spotlight, reach out. We want to hear from you. Please email stay.connected@brooklynmuseum.org. 

Follow Our Elected Officials For News

The Office of the Brooklyn Borough President provides the most up-to-date information and resources to Brooklynites. Follow these pages regularly and follow Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams on social media for real-time updates.

Follow updates and news from Council Member Laurie A. Cumbo on Facebook and Twitter. Cumbo serves as the Council Majority leader for Brooklyn’s 35th District- Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, Crown Heights, Prospect Heights and Bed-Stuy.

Check out New York City Council Member Brad Lander’s resource page aimed to help NYC-based freelancers and artists navigate these uncertain times. Have your voice heard, fill out the survey and explore what benefits might be available to you. Follow him on Twitter for important updates.

Congresswoman for the 9th District, Yvette D. Clark is working hard in Congress to support our local communities. Follow the Congresswoman on her Twitter to receive updates on what is going on in Washington DC and resources available in your ‘hood!

Local Business Highlights of the Week

Though our favorite boozy bakery, Butter and Scotch, is currently closed, you can purchase a gift card on their website—50% of all gift card sales go to their employees! Link to support.

Following a break for staff, our beloved hang out spot, Chavelas, reopened on April 13th for takeout and delivery! Try their tasty margaritas and sangrias during their happy hour takeout from 4 to 7 every day of the week! Contactless delivery is available when requested. Click here for more information. 

Ease your craving of Thai food in a fresh and healthy way with Nourish Thai home cooking. This Prospect Heights hotspot is still open for pick up or delivery. Pick up available by window only.

Support for Artists, Freelancers, and Gig Workers

To support artists during the COVID-19 crisis, a coalition of national arts grantmakers have come together to create an emergency initiative to offer financial and informational resources to artists across the US. Learn more at https://www.artistrelief.org/.

Anonymous Was A Woman (AWAW) and New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) are providing emergency relief grants to support women-identifying visual artists over 40 impacted by the COVID-19 crisis.

Apply for PEN America‘s Writers’ Emergency Fund, who will provide grants of $500 to $1,000 to fiction and non-fiction authors, poets, playwrights, screenwriters, translators, and journalists. 

Freelancers Relief Fund will offer financial assistance of up to $1,000 per freelance household to cover lost income and essential expenses not covered by government relief programs.

Rauschenberg Emergency Grants provides one-time grants of up to $5,000 for unexpected medical emergencies. Learn more about the program here.

Visit this COVID-10 Freelance Artist Resources page for more information about relief for artists.

Resources for Children and Families

The New York City Department of Education is providing free meals daily to NYC school children at 400 locations city-wide. Learn more here or text ‘NYC FOOD’ or ‘NYC COMIDA’ to 877-877 to find a location.

Check out Foodbank NYC’s interactive map with providers who have switched to “grab and go” meals and pantry bags to minimize the risk of exposure.

Know a college student looking to help others or a younger student looking for help with their schoolwork? Sign up to volunteer or get free tutoring help here. 

Learn more about the New York City Department of Education’s Regional Enrichment Centers, open to children whose parents/guardians are first responders, health care providers, transit workers, and other key personnel.

NYC is assisting New Yorkers in Crisis by providing free, confidential mental health support. Counselors are accessible via phone, text, or chat. Learn more at NYC Well.

Spectrum is partnering with school districts to ensure local communities are aware of tools to help students learn remotely, open our WiFi hotspots for public use, and continue to offer Spectrum Internet Assist, our high-speed broadband program to eligible low-income households.

Ways to Volunteer and Serve

Masbia Soup Kitchen in Boro Park and Flatbush is in urgent need of volunteers to help package food for delivery. Work can be done with minimal contact, and they have gloves and cleaning supplies. 

Help package food into family-sized portions for delivery with City Harvest.

Support NYC’s seniors by providing friendly visits via telephone. Learn more at New York Cares.

Deliver groceries and other supplies to elderly and immunocompromised people in your neighborhood with Invisible Hands.

Census

Stand firm with your fellow New Yorkers at this time: Complete the #2020Census. Billions are at stake. Fill out the census today at my2020census.gov #GetCountedNYC

Stephen Salmieri (American, born 1945). Coney Island, 1972. Gelatin silver photograph. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Edward Klein, 82.201.44. © artist or artist's estate

[solarfilmworkshops]

"Movies are all about lighting." - John Malkovich Learn better Lighting! 2-Day Hands-on Lighting workshop JUNE 13-14 http://www.solarnyc.com/workshops Join us! And see the Light. #filmmakingworkshop #filmmakingclass #directing #lighting #camera #cinematography #cameraworkshop #lightingworkshop #cinematographyworkshop #directingworkshop #screenwritingworkshop #scriptwritingworkshop #screenwritingclass #scriptwritingclass #indiefilmmaking #indie #NYUfilm #filmclass #directingclass #lightingclass #cameraclass #NYFA #Videography #Filmproduction #videoproduction #independentfilmmaking #independentfilmproduction #filmschool #editing #acting

[softethan]

find your way back to me

oh my god. this is massive and I love it but I probably won’t write anything this big for a really long time. special thanks to @ohandrewthankyousodamnmuch​ & @louisethelesbian​ for proofreading and encouragement and @my-milkshake-bouquet​ for the amazing concept that started this: I hope I did it justice. 

{10k, grames}

also on Wattpad

warnings: smut, language, no editing(?)

four years after Grayson leaves for New York to pursue his filmmaking dreams, he meets a familiar face. they didn’t leave on good terms; can he patch things up?

They stopped YouTube, a little after Dad died.

They hadn't meant to; they'd wanted to keep going, keep the fans engaged, but the money wasn't there, the sponsorships didn't go over too well, and they couldn't keep it up.

They weren't broke, honestly far from it, but the joy wasn't there for them anymore and they'd promised each other they'd quit when they weren't happy with it.

They'd filmed a goodbye series, 4 videos that Grayson loved more than anything they'd ever done— they got to be creative, spend weeks on it. They'd hired an editor and it was cinematic, the quality. They were proud of it and Grayson put them in his portfolio when he'd applied to film school.

And he got in.

Ethan stayed in LA, to do God knows what, but Grayson wanted a change. He'd always wanted to move back home, or close to it. So he'd applied at NYU and Alfred and NYFA and he'd gotten accepted at all of them (a miracle).

But his heart was at NYU, so he packed up his things and moved the summer before they turned 20.

He loved New York. Could function without Ethan more or less, and he loved the way the city hugged him and made him feel invisible in a way LA never had. He could blend in; he wasn't a super star, he didn't have to worry about being stopped at the grocery store or followed on his way out of the parking garage (save for a few older fans, ones who were respectful, who were kind, who congratulated him on finding a path he enjoyed).

Grayson found himself fitting in, making a life and a name for himself alone in a city he would have never seen himself in two years earlier.

He knew the paths to his favorite coffee shops outside his apartment in Brooklyn, his restaurants, the one Italian place with the fucking phenomenal gnocchi that Gino made special order for him at 2 in the morning.

The bike paths and running trails were familiar, worn down with the help of Grayson's long nights when he didn't have a friend to drag him to another bar or club in the city.

But his favorite place, the one place he knew he could go, was the bookstore two blocks from his apartment that liked to keep stray cats roaming the shelves more than it liked to stock new merchandise.

Grayson didn't mind though; it was a good place to edit, quieter than the library and the WiFi was slow so he couldn't get distracted by the headlines with him that seemed to be fewer and fewer the longer Grayson was in New York.

But there were the times, when the clouds parted enough that he could pull up Hollywood Reporter, like this morning, when he stared at the headline blaring back at him and he gulped as he scrolled through.

James Charles Announces Departure from YouTube after "Incredible" 7 Years

Following his recent split from fellow YouTube Influencer Jeff Wittek, James Charles has announced his departure from the social media platform. Charles says the decision has been in the works for months, which would support the rumor that the JCD Social Marketing firm is not too far on the horizon. We're sad to see you go, sister. No news yet on if Charles and Wittek will be selling their Calabasas home.

Grayson couldn't stomach anymore and shoved the lid on his laptop down. He'd left things less than happy with James. But really, they hadn't been on good terms for months. Each of them too nervous to say something to the other, afraid that anything out of line would set the other off.

James stopped texting him 2 months before Grayson left LA and Grayson was comfortable enough with himself now to admit that he'd been heartbroken.

When Jeff and James has started dating it was a surprise to everyone, but especially to Grayson. He knew James had been flirting with Jeff but he never dreamed James' feelings could be reciprocated. Or even acted on. But Jeff had come to James' house late one night, while James and Grayson were editing, and they'd sat on James' couch for hours and talked about everything. They bonded over a shared confidence that Grayson didn't have.

He'd packed his things up and stowed his laptop in his backpack and waved goodbye to James and that was the last time he'd seen his best friend.

He knew Jeff made James happy — he wasn't crazy. But he also wasn't a masochist, so he'd unfollowed everyone who could remind him of James' laugh and the way his eyes twinkled when he smiled and how his lips curled up at the corners when he was confused and the looks he used to give Grayson that he gave Jeff.

Grayson didn't want to be reminded and he didn't want to intrude. James had someone who was out and not afraid of confrontation and didn't have fans who would rip him apart for turning their favorite gay—

Grayson shook his head. He didn't have to think about fans controlling who he dated or dictating who he could be or speculating about his sexuality or his relationships. One of the benefits of being "normal" again (or at least semi-normal) was the anonymity of his partners and his identity.

But it hadn't mattered until now. He'd dated people, a couple of girls right when he moved to New York and then he and Lip, the boy who sat beside him in his Film 290 class, had been serious for a few months, but nothing had ever panned out and he  longed for someone to share his empty bed with.

He needed that someone to be James.

Grayson opened the laptop back up and skimmed the rest of the article, smirking but nearly throwing up when he found what he was looking for.

As of March, Sister James has been spotted spending some much needed time with his family in his hometown in upstate New York.

Grayson tapped his fingers on the table his laptop rested on and his bottom lip crept between his teeth, a nervous habit he'd picked up from Lip.

He'd debated using the number Ethan had sent him months ago, always talking himself out of it because James liked his privacy and if James wanted to talk to him he would have called years ago.

But this was different, Grayson reasoned. James needed him. James was close.

James was off limits.

He cursed when his brained reminded him of the sneaky little fact that Grayson had made the decision for them. Grayson had wanted to confess, a big, grand declaration right before he left. Wanted to beg James to come with him to New York, to start over in a city that held endless opportunities for both of them, but the fear of James' rejection lingered at the back of his mind until he'd tried to call James in the airport terminal and the call failed. Grayson took it as a sign from the universe and hadn't tried again.

But this— wasn't this a sign from whoever was looking out for him? That he should reach out to James? At least to check on him. That's what a good friend would do.

A good friend would have also not abandoned everyone, Grayson countered himself.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and closed the laptop lid slowly, storing it away in his case in his backpack before he slid Margaret a $20 under the candle and left with a small wave to the girl behind the register.

Grayson's phone rang as soon as he stepped outside, and he half expected it to be Ethan calling him to bitch, but he wasn't expecting Hannah to be on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Gray. Do you want to go out with us tonight? To Therapy?"

"Isn't that the gay bar on 52nd?"

"Maybe."

"I'll meet you there at 9?"

"Sounds good!"

The line clicked and Grayson rolled his eyes at his friend's enthusiasm to get him laid. The walk back to his apartment was quiet. He waved at Gino hanging out of the bread window at his restaurant and expertly caught the breadstick chucked at his head.

His keys jingled as he unlocked the door to his apartment, the smell from last night's Indian take-out still strong in the small space. He threw his backpack down onto the couch and plopped down beside it; his phone dinged with various notifications, but he only had one place to go.

As he opened Instagram, he debated if this was really the best decision. He'd been so good— hadn't looked at James' profile in months, but he missed James so much.

He typed in the familiar user and waited for the screen to buffer.

The first picture took his breath away and Grayson gawked at how similar James looked to when Grayson left.

Liked by ethandolan and 1,492,018 others jamescharles bye sisters View all 250,913 comments _emmachamberlain fucking finally man

Grayson chuckled at Emma's comment: James had been the last one to leave YouTube. Grayson wasn't surprised, really. James loved everything about the business side. He was born for it. But there was always the potential for growth, for learning new things, and Grayson knew James had been stagnant.

He put his phone down and caught himself smiling brighter; he'd been worried that James would still have their pictures up, the ones that promised each other forever when Grayson knew they'd never work.

But he couldn't help himself and picked it back up, cursing his self control when he scrolled back a few months on James' feed and stopped at the last picture James had posted of himself and Jeff.

Liked by bryant and 3,701,625 others jamescharles 4 years you've loved me View all 736,050 comments jeff here's to a million more

They made a good couple, Grayson had never denied that. And he knew Jeff was good to James. Spoiled him. Took him to nice restaurants and posted goofy snapchats of them in bed together.

But James wasn't happy. Grayson knew what James looked like when he was happy, how his nose crooked a little when he laughed, the way his fingers fluttered over his face to hide the grin he did when Grayson looked at him.

And James didn't have that with Jeff. Sure, he wasn't miserable. Jeff was kind and generous and he had a good heart (Jeff was probably the best person for James), but James wasn't in love with him. Grayson suspected it had been a ploy, a tactic to make Grayson jealous that had just gone on too long—

Fuck, he hated when he thought like that. James was an adult. Capable of making adult decisions. He didn't need Grayson taking care of him; a direct quote from James himself.

He shook out his thoughts and scrolled a little farther to admire the way James had grown, how his face had softened with age and his posts didn't seem as forced.

He had to get up at some point and start getting ready; the sun was already setting and he need to eat something before they started barhopping. Grayson decided to call Ethan before he jumped in the shower, dialing his number and waiting as the normal three rings went through before he heard Ethan's groggy voice answer.

"Hello?"

"Did you just wake up?"

"I didn't go to bed until 4 this morning."

"Jesus, Ethan, it's 6:30."

"I miss you, dude."

"I do too. Spring break's next week, so I'll plan to come see you then."

Grayson pulled out the noodles from his pantry and started a boiler of hot water. He listened to Ethan stomp around their old house; they knew it was creepy, listening to each other breathe, but they'd never been apart for more than a couple days until Grayson left, so there was a comfort to doing their routines together, ish.

"Have you thought anymore about moving back after you graduate in a couple months?"

Ethan asked this question every time they talked, and every time Grayson gave him the same teasing answer.

"When I can find something worth coming back for I will."

"You're a dick, you know. How are classes?"

Another pan, this time for the chicken he'd chopped up. The phone slid down between his shoulder and his ear and he reached up to push it back in place.

"Hard. I've got my final short film due next month. We're finishing up the editing and then we'll just need to put in music and sound."

"I watched a few of those clips you sent me, Gray, they're really good."

Grayson preened under the praise as he seared the chicken.

"They're okay. I shot them on film first to get the framing and coloring how I wanted it and now we're replicating it with digital."

"That's fucking sick, Gray. Look I've gotta go, I've got a bitching headache. Tell mom I said hi and that I love her?"

"Always do, E. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Grayson turned his playlist on and turned up the speakers to his surround sound and finished supper, a serving of chicken Alfredo and garlic bread that he knew would help prep him for the binge drinking he was about to do.

The lights in the club were bright, too harsh for Grayson normally, but 3 gin and tonics in and he was enjoying the blue and purple flashes. He and Hannah were propped against the bar, scoping for someone, anyone to occupy them. They weren't best friends, but she was the closest thing Grayson had to a friend for a long time and they bonded over their shared proclivities for illusive men.

"See him in the corner? He's hot as fuck!" Hannah yelled into Grayson's ear. Her drink sloshed onto his shoes and he winced.

"Not my type," Grayson responded as he scanned the bar. "Him! He's my type, though," he said with a smirk. He placed his drink and a twenty on the bar and with a goodbye wave to Hannah, made his way over to the lanky boy in the corner.

The thing was, this guy wasn't normally Grayson's type. He tried to steer away from feminine bodies and do his best to get as far away from James similarities as possible, but the gin was talking and he needed to kiss this boy or he might die.

The lights were dark here, dim enough that Grayson could only make out his feet as he shuffled and the sharp features in the boy's face.

"Wanna dance?" He asked, shooting his shot into the dark corner of the club. He saw the boy shrug and held his hand out, pulling them both onto the dance floor.

Grayson held his hands on the boy's hips as they danced together, admiring the way they fit into each others' bodies.

"Wanna get a drink?" The question was spoken into the crook of the boy's neck, and Grayson mouthed at the smooth skin there. He smelled like laundry and that fancy shampoo James always bought and it reminded Grayson of home.

The boy turned around to nod, but they both froze, realizing at once why they worked so well together.

"Grayson?"

Grayson's heart stopped. There was no way. Of all the people and all of the places they could have gone, he was looking at James Charles in the middle of a gay bar in New York City.

"James."

His reply was breathy and relieved and surprised and oh, so bittersweet, because this was not how he imagined coming out to James.

"Oh my God."

"Do you wanna—"

"Yes, please."

James linked his hand with Grayson's and followed him to the bar. He watched while Grayson ordered a vodka tonic and some sort of a strawberry concoction that he handed to James before he tugged him out to the rooftop bar.

It was quieter there, the doors muffled the music from inside and Grayson could think about what he was seeing— who he was seeing.

James sipped his drink and watched Grayson take him in. The skin tight shorts, the crop top that showed the spattering of freckles on his sides, the way his legs crossed and the fishnets looked sinful against his skin: he was a vision and it felt like Grayson had never left him.

"I can't believe you're here."

"I can't believe you're blonde," James retorted.

(And, honestly, neither could Grayson. It had been done on a whim and he'd loved it enough to keep it for 2 years. Another Lip imprint.)

"How are you and Jeff?" Grayson knew better than to let James know he'd been keeping tabs. That wouldn't end well.

"We, uh. We actually broke up a couple months ago." James swirled the drink and averted his eyes.

"I'm sorry about that." He wasn't.

"Don't be. No, it was for the best. He wants kids and a hundred dogs and a life that I couldn't give him. He's so much older than me and he's ready to settle down and I've just started. We should have done it a long time ago. We're still friends. He's such a good guy, it's just— we're not right for each other."

Grayson nodded and sipped his drink and listened as James spouted out a rehearsed narrative.

"That's a lovely press release. Are you gonna tell me what really happened?"

James smiled and giggled into his hand; his eyes rolled back enough that Grayson was sure his head had to hurt.

"He was a dick. A sweetheart to the core, but a dick. I don't think I ever really loved him, but he was a great fuck and he was kind; just didn't know what he wanted. For a 35 year old man, you'd think he'd know who he was, but, hey, it's whatever."

Grayson cringed at James' admission, but he caught himself smiling when James looked up at him with that twinkle in his eye.

"Enough about me, though," James leaned forward onto the table and touched his manicured nails to Grayson's bare arm, "what are you doing at a gay bar on a Friday night dancing against a beautiful boy?"

"Trying to find a beautiful boy to take home," Grayson answered bluntly. His arm hairs stood straight up and the goosebumps that lingered told James just how much of an effect he had on Grayson.

James gawked at him, mouth open like a fish as he tried to process what Grayson had just told him.

"So you're telling me—"

"I'm bisexual, James."

The thickness of the air from the club had wafted out to them and Grayson watched as James crafted his response.

It was quiet for a while until James squeezes Grayson's wrist and moves the metal chair closer to Grayson's.

"How long?"

"I've been out to my mom and Cam and E for about 3 years."

"Anyone else?"

"No one else knew me before. And there wasn't any reason to hide anymore."

"You're happier."

"I'm not angry anymore. I was exhausted trying to keep up a front all the time. But yeah, I'm happier."

James smiled and traced circles into the back of Grayson's hand and averted his eyes to keep from Grayson seeing the blush forming on his cheeks.

"It's so bizarre to be having this conversation with you. All the ways I imagined this, and meeting you again at a dive bar in the middle of NYC was not one of them."

Grayson chuckled, a low rumbly sound that made James' heart vibrate.

"I didn't expect to see you again. Truthfully, I thought the last time I'd ever see you would be that night in your couch with Jeff. But, here you are." Grayson was in awe, couldn't get enough of James sitting in front of him, glowing, positively radiant and tangible, finally.

"I came home. I — I couldn't live in LA right now. I wanted to give everyone space." James' voice softened as he spoke.

"I'm glad you're here," Grayson admitted.

"How are you doing? Ian said you're in film school?"

"Uh, yeah. I wanted a change but I loved the production too much to leave it. I'll graduate in May."

"I'm sure you're amazing. The Cub Sport videos were phenomenal."

"I really love it," Grayson sighed, swirling the ice left in his glass.

"You're happier."

"You've said that already," Grayson pointed out with a smile.

"It needed to be repeated." James shifted forward in the chair and touched Grayson's bicep softly.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"Are you trying to take me home, J?" The nickname and snarky comeback rolled off his tongue easily and James lit up in embarrassment and nostalgia. He swatted at Grayson and rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, I just want to be able to talk to you without a drunk weirdo breathing down my neck."

James giggled and his eyes glistened and Grayson couldn't get them off the patio fast enough. They trailed through the bar and Grayson made a mental note to text Hannah that he was leaving when they made it to the Uber.

His fingers clutched James' tightly, savoring the feeling because who knew when it would end. A giggly James was everything Grayson had needed to hear for years and he prayed this wasn't a dream.

He'd had them before, dreams like this, where he met James in a crowded place and they always found each other, and for a few hours, Grayson could pretend that James was his.

But this was usually the time when he'd wake up, when he was leading James to an Uber ready to take him home and spend the night with him but—

"Gray," James hissed, tugging him into the alley beside the bar.

Grayson furrowed his eyebrows and started to lean out when James jerked him back in by the collar of his leather jacket and pulled him against James' body.

"James, what—"

"Paps," he whispered, burrowing his face into Grayson's neck. Grayson, on instinct, wrapped his arms tightly around James' body and shuffled them around so that Grayson's back was blocking James completely from view.

"What do I need to do?" He asked quietly.

"Where does this go?" James questioned as he motioned blindly behind him.

"To 52nd and 2nd."

"Order the Uber there. Can I hide under your jacket?" Grayson could tell he was scared, worried that Grayson would say no and throw him to the sharks.

But Grayson never really mastered denying James anything, so he opened the right side of his jacket and shielded James from the flashes while he hid his own face behind his phone and when they slid in the Uber and slammed the door, James pecked his cheek and smiled a huge smile at Grayson and when his stomach flipped he blamed it on the speedy take-off.

"I ordered this for my house. I hope that's okay," Grayson mumbled as he clicked his seatbelt on and glanced over at a jittery James.

"That's fine. I'd love to see where the mysterious Grayson Dolan has disappeared to," came  the teasing remark. He'd kept his location pretty well under wrap after he'd left. Sure there was the occasional spotting, and he was happy to take pictures with the old fans, but he was fairly normal. He'd forgotten what it was like to go out and not be able to leave with whomever he liked.

The car stopped in front of Grayson's loft and Grayson tipped the driver before he helped James out and unlocked the gate with his ID card.

"This is really nice, Gray. It looks like--"

"Your LA apartment. I know. That was the first thing Ethan said when he saw it."

"Miss me that much?" James teased as he led the way into the door.

More than I'll admit, Grayson thought, throwing his keys in the bowl and his jacket on the hook beside the door.

"Oh, my God, Grayson this view is amazing," James raved. He perched on the side of Grayson's bed overlooking the city and watched the boats pass through New York harbor.

"It was the deciding factor for the place. $300 extra a month for this view and it's absolutely worth it." He sat down behind James on the bed and propped up on his palms, leaning back to admire the boy sitting in his bed.

Unreal.

"Are you staring at me?"

"I'm making up for lost time." The words slipped out before he realized what he was admitting and that James was not, in fact, a dream vision who would slip through his fingers any second.

James turned slowly and placed a hand on Grayson's thigh.

"I really missed you, Gray."

The lump in Grayson's throat was choking him and his hands were shaking and his heart was beating out of his chest (could James hear it?) and the place on his thigh where James rested his hand felt like it was on fire and holy fuck James was real.

Grayson gulped it down and covered James' hand with his own.

"Me too, J."

Nervous eyes jumped from Grayson's lips to Grayson's eyes and back down again; James was calculating exactly what he was going to do next and Grayson couldn't breathe with James looking at him like this. He'd been on the receiving end of this look before, so many times, but that had been years ago and he forgot just how naked he felt when James looked at him.

Grayson's tongue darted out between his lips and licked his bottom one, wetting it enough that he didn't feel like he was in a desert, but his dry mouth could not be helped.

James shifted closer, his thigh pressed against Grayson's and his leg was tucked under his ass and Grayson could feel James' breath on his face. The proximity to this beautiful boy made his heart beat erratically; after all these years, after Grayson tried too hard to forget James and everything he felt -- and here James was, making him go crazy all over again.

"Did you ever, have you--," James questioned, trailing off when his eyes landed on Grayson's lip kneaded between his bottom teeth.

"Only once, with a boy named Lip."

"Lip?"

"Yeah, he did this thing, with his lip and his name was Phillip and--" James flittered over his face and cut him off.

"I don't need to know."

"Stay the night?" Grayson breathed out; his stomach knotted and he felt like he was going to barf any minute and Jesus if James didn't lean in and kiss him he'd probably die.

Which, thank God that was an exaggeration because James leaned away and Grayson wanted to die, but his heart was still very much in tact and God he forgot how damn frustrating this was.

"Is that a good idea, Gray?"

"It's nearly 1 now. Might as well stay and we can catch up? I can order in something if you're hungry." Grayson was desperate, he knew that. Knew he sounded like he needed James more than anything, but what use was it hiding the truth?

James sighed, and checked his watch, and looked back at Grayson, and then his watch, and then the skyline, and then he smiled and conceded.

"Can I borrow a t-shirt at least? If I have to sit in these fishnets for one more minute I will absolutely never make it out alive."

Grayson rolled his eyes at James dramatics but a minute later he was back handing James an old Kid Cudi shirt and a pair of sweats that Hannah had left at his apartment.

"Thanks, babe." James had never been one for modesty, but Grayson had always been thankful for that -- things hadn't changed now, and Grayson watched, enamored, as James tugged the shirt over his head and tore the fishnets off his body and chucked them in the direction of the trash can.

"I'll get those in the morning," he promised once he realized what he'd done. Grayson only chuckled fondly and kicked off his own boots and jeans. He climbed into the bed under the duvet and leaned against the pillows to watch James do the same.

"Don't worry about them," Grayson pleaded.

There was a moment of silence between them while Grayson tried to decide what to ask James, but he was coming up blank with everything except Jeff, Jeff, Jeff.

"You can ask me about him. I won't get angry," and even after all these years, James being able to read his mind was the scariest trick they had.

"Why did you stay so long? If you weren't happy?"

James sighed and twirled the sheet around his finger. He was deflecting, Grayson knew.

"I felt like it was the right thing to do. Make everyone else happy before myself. It's what I do right?"

Grayson shifted from where he was propped on his elbow watching James. His cheek rested in his palm and he wanted so badly to reach out and pull James in.

"You always did. Did you ever take time for yourself, J?"

James shook his head. "I fell away with everyone after you left and there was no reason for me to keep hanging out with E after you guys quit."

"That's not what I asked, J."

Another sigh, but this time it seemed like James was willing to answer truthfully.

"Hardly ever. Even filming started to feel like a chore. I didn't— Gray, I hated it. Jeff was obsessed with my upload schedule and it was in such good spirits and he meant so well but I started to feel like he was my manager more than he was my boyfriend. Oh god, it got so much worse after we bought the house and we signed and to be truthful he didn't pay for much of anything and I really don't know why I stayed with him he was such a sweetheart but God such an asshole," James blurted out, his famous speed talking getting in the way of him making his point.

"J," Grayson whispered, eyes sad as he reached out to touch James hand. The space between them now felt larger than the 3000 miles had the entire time Grayson had been in New York and really the only logical thing to do was scoot closer to James to make sure their shoulders and knees touched.

"I was so obsessed with finally having someone who cared about me." James' voice cracked and he buried his face in the white pillow. Grayson would have to throw it out in the morning but it was worth being about to comfort James in this moment.

"Did you love him?"

"No."

They spent the rest of the night talking, catching up on Grayson's film school and James explained the plan for the marketing firm. He'd decided to base it out of LA, simply because his connections ran so deep there, but he confessed to Grayson that his final goal was to have a branch in all the major fashion capitals.

Grayson had never wanted anything to happen more.

When Grayson woke up the next morning (afternoon) and looked over to a peaceful James he had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming. He got out of bed lightly and started puttering around the kitchen to make breakfast. The pancakes were on the table and the fruit was cut up when he went to kneel by James' side and rub his hand through James' mousy hair.

"Morning. I made breakfast."

"Hmm, this is a sight I never thought I'd be lucky enough to experience," James sassed groggily, closing his eyes again before opening them and smiling even wider.

"We're in the same boat, babe." The causal banter was something he'd missed— a little flirting and a slight tease and Grayson felt like he'd never left James' side.

They watched the city operate in front of them as they enjoyed their brunch and when James bounced his foot for the fourth time, Grayson had to know what he was thinking.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

Grayson's mouth was suddenly very dry and his eyes were doing that funny thing where they watered down his cheeks. (He wasn't tearing up.)

James pushed the last of his fruit around his plate and waited for Grayson to answer.

"Stay for another week. I go on spring break Friday and we can fly out together."

And really, that wasn't what either of them expected to hear come out of Grayson's mouth, but it wasn't unwelcome.

"What about work?"

"Fuck work. You're leaving anyway. Upload the last video here. I'll help you work on it."

James paused and contemplated it. "And why should I stay?" He questioned, eyebrow raised.

"I missed you and I don't want to have to wait another four years to see you."

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Good," Grayson replied, the conversation finished and a smile on his face.

"Grayson, pick up the damn phone," James grumbled as he paced back and forth in Grayson's living room. The article was open on Grayson's iPad and James had read it at least 14 times, and he'd absolutely saved the photo of him and Grayson leaving the club. The headline was ludicrous: "Former Beauty Blogger James Charles seen leaving bar with a blonde hunk."

He'd fallen asleep in Grayson's bed last night (this morning?), an unintentional side-effect of talking until the sun was nearly up. When James woke up there was a pile of pancakes and a note with Grayson's messy scribble laid next to his pillow that explained Grayson had gone to class but would be back before 2.

All lined out to be a fabulous morning after, except halfway through his pancakes James had checked his phone to see a sea of messages and tweets speculating who the blonde hottie was who'd shielded James from the paps.

"Grayson, please—"

"I usually can't make a boy whine like that until the third date," came Grayson's snarky reply from the other end of the phone.

"Shut up and check your messages, they published the pictures from last night."

He heard Grayson mumble something about bossy ass men, but when he cleared his throat and whispered a quiet "oh, no," James knew they were in trouble.

"It won't be long before they figure out it's me."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Are you okay with that?" Grayson countered.

"I'm not the one being outed unintentionally, Grayson!"

"J, if I felt like the world needed to know my sexuality, hell, deserved to know it, I would have done it years ago, but the only thing that matters right now is if you're okay with being seen with me. In a compromising situation— I mean, c'mon James, we look like we're about to go home and fuck."

James sat down in the big wicker patio chair on Grayson's balcony and watched as the traffic flowed under him. His legs curled under his butt and he rested his chin on his hand as he listened to Grayson breath.

"Would you have?"

It was out of his mouth before he could stop it and James felt oddly relieved when he realized what he'd asked.

"If I only wanted to fuck you I would have done it the minute I saw you, J."

"Only?"

"You must have realized at some point that—"

"You don't have to explain to me. When will you be back?"

"I'm walking through the door. Where are you?"

He could hear Grayson's voice in the kitchen, the sound of the door sliding open and he wandered back through the double glass doors.

His phone abandoned on the counter, Grayson smiled at James and plopped onto his couch.

"You're worrying about something that hasn't even happened. Okay? And even if it does, who will it affect? Not me, not you, Jeff? Screw 'im."

James chuckled and lowered himself onto the couch.

"Let's go to dinner tonight."

"Are you asking me on a date, Dolan?" James asked with a smirk.

"I might be. Depends how nice you look when I get ready to leave," Grayson replied with a wink.

"I have nothing to wear!" James called through his giggles, watching Grayson disappear into the curtained room. He appeared a moment later with a messenger bag and a jacket and motioned for James to get up.

"That's why we're going shopping."

Grayson shouldn't have been surprised, when James walked into Saks and walked out $1550 lighter and 3 bags of clothes.

"We're going for dinner one night. Couldn't you have just bought one outfit?" Grayson asked when he shoved the last of the bags into the Uber and climbed into the other side.

James scoffed as he clicked out an email on his phone.

"One outfit? Gray, baby, do you even know who you're talking to?"

Grayson rolled his eyes, a smirk forming on his face nonetheless.

"Don't give me that look; you're the one who teased me about looking nice. You're reaping the fruits of your labors."

"I hope to be laboring someway tonight," he muttered under his breath, then blushed when James gasped and swatted at his shoulder.

"You're absolutely terrible," James teased half heartedly, but couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to Grayson's words. They'd cuddled last night, curled up against each other with James' back tucked securely against Grayson's chest. It was the best sleep he'd gotten in months, better than any sleep he'd gotten with Jeff. He tried not to think about that too much.

"If you don't want to put up with it you're free to leave."

James only smiled, moved closer into Grayson's side, and linked his fingers through Grayson's.

"Where are you taking me tonight?"

"A surprise. You'll love it."

Grayson had Gino close early (cashing in a favor from when Grayson had fixed the old record player when it had crapped out) that night. He didn't reveal why, but more prodding than he'd have liked had him spilling that he was bringing an old friend to the restaurant and wanted privacy. Gino didn't prod.

When the strolled through the streets, Grayson making James laugh and James rolling his eyes, it felt natural, easy, familiar.

"I missed this," Grayson mumbled as he paused on the street. He caught James' arm in his hand and stopped him, running a thumb over the exposed skin.

"Me too. I haven't laughed like this in a really long time."

A smile eased its way on Grayson's face when he opened the door to Gino's and heard the bell. Lucy was in the corner setting the finishing touches on the table, the red checked vinyl table cloth contrasting starkly with the rose popped into the old coke bottle. Grayson chuckled at Gino's attempt at romance but appreciated the gesture of support.

"Gray, I thought you said this was fancy. I'm overdressed."

"You're fine. And this is the nicest restaurant in Brooklyn, J." He pulled out James' chair and shot a wink to Gino from the kitchen.

A moment later and a basket of breadsticks found their way to their table, the flash of a white shirt darting back into the kitchen the only indication that anyone else had ever been in the dining room.

"What is this place?" James asked softly. The lights were dimmed and a quiet jazz song was playing from the repaired record player in the corner and Grayson wanted to scream.

"Gino found me outside an Olive Garden about a month after I moved to New York and made sure I never ate fake Italian again. He was good to me."

James giggled behind his mouth but coughed over it when he saw Grayson fake glaring at him over the battery powered candle.

"So this is special to you? How many girls have you done this for, Gray?" James questioned, half-serious, nerves getting the best of him.

"Do E and my mom count?" He responded, honestly.

James' heart clenched and he reached for the glass of red one of the waiters had brought shortly after the breadsticks.

"You've only gotten prettier, I don't know how you did it," Grayson mumbled, rumbly. He was awestruck, amazed that James' face could look so soft but still have a feel of sharpness, masculinity to it. He could see how tired James was, how the bags under his eyes were covered, but not quite; James wanted people to understand that he was tired. His cry for help had been unanswered and not until Grayson had anyone realized.

"Are you trying to get in my pants, Dolan?" James retorted.

"Would you let me?"

"Probably not. Maybe after another glass of wine," James poked, but there was an air of truth to what he was saying. He didn't want to do this lightly. They'd danced around what Grayson had said in the car, but James wondered, couldn't help but, if this was really all some plan for Grayson to finally get what he'd wanted all this time. But James brushed that off and tried his best to enjoy the dinner Grayson had planned.

Grayson?" James started, spoon paused in the ice cream and brownie Gino had brought out.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you do this?"

"Because I wanted us to be able to catch up without someone sending pictures to the Hollywood Reporter or whatever," he answered quickly.

"I mean, I understand that, but the shopping, telling me to dress nicely? Inviting me back to your place last night?"

Grayson sighed and sat back in his chair, looking at James with a concerned face.

"You think I'm trying to sleep with you, don't you?"

"It's a justified concern."

"It's not, but whatever," Grayson grumbled, fishing out his wallet for the money to pay Gino and throwing it on the table.

"Gray, wait!"

Grayson had already gotten up, dessert abandoned and coat halfway on by the time he turned around to see a worried James right in front of him.

"What? I've tried all day to make you realize I'm not just trying to get in your pants or make up for lost tome or— or whatever you think I'm trying to do. James, I missed you like fucking crazy and I just wanted one night to pretend—" Grayson stopped and sighed, a hand running through his already moppy hair.

"Pretend what, Grayson? Pretend that we could ever work? Pretend that you didn't just leave me in LA without an explanation? Pretend that you didn't try your fucking hardest to make sure I thought this was a date and then you've done everything but what you promised me?" His voice lilted over the last part, unsure if this was a fight he was willing to finish if he started it.

"I wanted one fucking night to pretend you still loved me." Grayson stumbled over the words and he didn't look at James when he got done but there were there, and he said them, and he thought he would die if James didn't say something soon.

"Do you think I ever stopped?"

Grayson paused and watched James throw his back and laugh sadly.

"I can't fucking do this. God, I can't believe I even let you talk me into this. You and your fucking grand romantic gestures, Grayson. I'm leaving. I guess I'll see you in another 4? That sounds about right."

James jerked his bag off the floor and the fake rose toppled over, glue-water never budging from the plastic vase. Stumbling out of the door, he waved his hand, trying his best to hail a cab.

How did he think this would work? He was so angry at himself that he fell for the same thing. He'd been so afraid to get hurt again, and then he'd walked right into this, paranoid that at any moment it would fall apart because there had always been something about Grayson that made him feel naked. He'd bared himself open to this, had given Grayson a chance, and the same thing that had always happened was unfolding right before him. Grayson was scared and cowardly. Always had been. James wiped at his eyes furiously and sucked down a breath when the mascara coated his cheeks.

Grayson couldn't get up fast enough, the money and table left abandoned as he rushed out to the street to catch James before he left forever. He'd been so worried and so scared that this wasn't the right thing to do, that bringing James here, giving himself a chance at happiness would just end up hurting both of them and he'd been right. But maybe he could save this? Maybe, just maybe, James was still in his plan.

"James!" He cried when he caught of glimpse of the boy down the street, in tears and looking so small and helpless and God if this wasn't his chance to be the savior he needed to be he didn't know when he'd ever get it.

James turned and watched Grayson run up to him, eyes full of concern.

"What?"

"Stay, please. Let me explain."

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Can I kiss you?"

He wanted to say no. Desperately, uncontrollably needed to say no, but James just couldn't help himself and suddenly he was grabbing Grayson's face in the middle of New York City in front of the sweetest restaurant he'd ever been to. James' heart was ready to burst out of his chest and he tried so hard to believe this was finally happening and suddenly when he felt Grayson not pushing him away but pulling him closer he could.

A taxi finally stopped, but Grayson shooed it away. James heard the crunch of gravel and the tell-tale sign of a car speeding up, and when he looked up he saw a twinkle in Grayson's eyes that hadn't been there before.

"Hi," he giggled, hand on Grayson's arm. A squeeze and he admired Grayson's strength, the way he covered him completely and towered over him and for the first time in a long time James felt small in the best way.

"Hey," Grayson returned with a grumbly laugh.

"That was—"

"It was real, J. Please, you've got to believe that." Grayson's voice cracked with his plea and James had to suppress a smile at how badly this man wanted him.

"I do, Gray, I do," he reassured, manicured fingers trailing down Grayson's chest and landing in his belt loop. He pulled Grayson closer until they were touching, James engulfed in Grayson's shadow.

"It's always been you, J. I tried so hard to find someone else but they weren't you. They were never you. I'd wake up and think about you and wish you were beside me every morning. When I saw you last night— J, fuck — I thought I was dreaming. There was no way you were here and still looked so good and you were single. I never expected you to wait on me, but fuck, am I glad the universe decided to give us this."

Grayson was breathless, from his confession and from the way James was looking at him, biting his lip, waiting for Grayson to do something with his hands on James' waist.

"I believe you."

"What?"

"I believe that was real. I believe that you've loved me all these years, fuck, I believe that you wanted me, that you've always wanted me. I tried so hard to push it back and convince myself it wouldn't ever happen, that when you were standing right in front of me I couldn't — fuck, Gray, I couldn't believe you but I do. Just, just kiss me again, please," he murmured desperately.

Lips against lips and James' back against the brick of the alley and if Grayson didn't stop James would be naked in a few seconds because of how badly Grayson needed to show James just how real this was.

"Let's go back to my place, okay?" He questioned against the soft skin of James' neck. His teeth grazed the exposed skin and James whimpered, high-pitched and needy and just nodded.

Grayson punched the buttons to order an Uber and within minutes a sleek black SUV pulled up beside them. James clamored in, scolding himself for not being more seductive, but apparently it didn't have an affect on Grayson because as soon as the door closed and the SUV took off Grayson had his hand up James' shirt and his other resting on the boy's cheek. His lips grazed over every inch of James' face, tenderly, so as not to break him. James could do nothing but just let it happen, his hands roaming in Grayson's hair, down his back, over his shoulders.

The ride was short, clipped even shorter by the neediness Grayson was exuding. He helped James our if the car and they rushed up to the apartment hand in hand; Grayson pinned James to the wall of the elevator and sucked a hickey the size of a quarter on James' neck and James wanted to scream with relief that he could finally do this, finally be himself and —

His feet flew off the ground when Grayson unlocked the apartment door and he found his legs wrapping around Grayson's waist. The booted foot kicked the door shut and James yelped in surprise when his back hit the bed. Giggles erupted from his mouth, uncontrolled, when Grayson started kissing down his neck, tugged the shirt off him to kiss up James' chest, and then they both paused when Grayson got to James' pants; who knew that a Gucci belt would be the beginning or the end of their relationship?

Grayson gulped as his hands fiddled with James' belt and the Gs knocked together, clinking and taunting Grayson.

"You're sure?"

"Fuck, yes, Gray, just—" James breathed out, fingers meeting Grayson's to help him push the offending article away and down with his jean shorts.

Their fingers tangled together, one not sure where the other's stopped before Grayson stared at James, taking him in.

"Fuck," he whispered, breathless and enamored. "J, baby, you're beautiful."

James smiled, cheeks pinking as Grayson scanned his body and touched him everywhere. His fingers fluttered over James' skin, admiring the way the calloused tips glided over James' creamy torso.

"Kiss me," he demanded, reaching up to pull Grayson closer. Grayson complied, tugging his own shirt off before he leaned into James' touch. The warmth of their bodies meshed together, Grayson's chest barely touching James'.

Grayson had always been strong, broad shouldered, but now, with the tattoos covering his shoulders and upper arms, and a few scars littering his shoulder blades, James couldn't catch his breath fast enough.

"Breathe, J, we're not even to the good part yet," Grayson whispered cockily, earning him another swat from James. Grayson peppered kisses up James' neck and cupped his hand around James' cock through the thin briefs and James nearly screamed.

A choked moan escaped James' lips and Grayson smirked when James' fingers tightened in the sheets beside him. He pulled the briefs off the rest of the way before he covered James' dick with his mouth.

James' head flew back into the pillow and he whimpered, hands white-knuckling the sheets. He couldn't help the litany of pleas that came after.

"Grayson, more, please," he begged, voice hoarse with need.

Grayson bobbed, hollowing his cheeks as he took more of James in his mouth.

"Grayson, Grayson, Grayson, please, I need you to fuck me," James whimpered. Grayson pulled off, reaching into the table beside his bed for the lube he kept for himself. He clicked the top open and squirted a generous amount into his palm and swirled his fingers around, warming it up and slicking his fingers.

He ghosted the pad of his finger across James' hole and relished in the way James moaned his name loudly. Eyes squeezed tightly shut, James just needed something, anything, from Grayson.

"Please," he croaked. Grayson pushed in a finger gently, making sure to tug on James' length as he pushed in to ease the burn of it.

"Jesus, fuck, James, you've gotta quit with the sounds or I'm gonna come before I even get to fuck you," Grayson pleaded desperately, inserting another finger in at the same time he quirked his wrist to the right.

James choked on a moan but nodded, biting into his hand to muffle the sound bubbling in his throat. Grayson inserted another finger and scissored them; he watched as they moved, in and out of James' ass and his own breath caught in his throat when he remembered that he was about to fuck James.

"Okay, Gray, fuck, enough, c'mon."

A smirk. "What do you need, J?" He questioned, mounting at James' hips as he slowly thrust his fingers.

"Fuck me," James whispered, confident, collected, and needy.

Grayson fumbled for a moment in the drawer and produced a condom, tearing the package to roll it down his cock. He hissed at the feeing, sensitive from not being touched all this time, and he leaned down to kiss James one more time.

"Ready?" He questioned, checking one last time.

"Fuck, yes just— fuck, Grayson, oh my god," he whined long and loudly. (Grayson's neighbors were going to hate him in the morning.) Grayson settled with his hips against James' ass, James' legs wrapped around his waist, and he leaned down to kiss the boy again. After a hoard of stolen kisses, he leaned back up and pulled out slowly, pushing back in at the same speed and repeated this, waiting for James to beg him to speed up.

It didn't take long for them to find a rhythm, James moaning Grayson's name in the most beautiful voice Grayson had ever heard, while he grunted into James' each, quiet words about how beautiful James was, how good he felt, how long he'd been waiting to fuck James.

"Fuck, right there, Gray, fuck me," James cried out, breathy little moans leaving his mouth. Grayson growled and nipped at James' neck. He sucked a hickey to the pale skin at the juncture of James' collarbone and neck, much to James' chagrin.

"Look so pretty like this J. Laid out and panting for me," Grayson preened, sucking another love bite onto James' chest.

Nails dug into Grayson's back and he whimpered at the feeling of Grayson deep inside him.

James pulled his hips close, making it nearly impossible for Grayson to pull out, but the short, choppy thrusts against James' prostate nearly had him coming between their bodies.

"Gray, Gray, I'm so close, please, I need more." James' voice cracked and he sounded desperate, willing to do anything for his release. Grayson merely groaned into James ear and reached between their bodies to grasp onto James' dick, tugging it quickly to get him to come.

A moment later and James was spilling between them and all over Grayson's hand and Grayson followed, coming into the condom inside James and growling out a rough expletive when he did. He pulled out and pulled the condom off and tied it off before he walked into the bathroom to get a wet rag. He came back with the warm cloth and swiped it over James' stomach, revealing in the sound of James whimpering softly. He climbed back into bed and opened his arms and he could have cried when James crawled into the easily and curled around Grayson's body.

"Best I've ever had," James murmured hoarsely as he cuddled into Grayson's side. His eyes drooped and he had to force himself to keep alert to Grayson's gentle kisses.

"We fly out tomorrow night," Grayson whispered.

"Are you ready to face LA in the spotlight again?"

"I'd do anything if it meant you kept finding your way back to me." And if James slapped Grayson's chest for being cheesy, Grayson couldn't complain.

"Now boarding Group 2, priority class!"

"That's us, Gray," James told him, shaking him from his nap in the first class lounge.

Grayson rubbed his eyes as they passed through the lounge and into the terminal to board their 6 hour flight back to LA. He itched to reach out and grab James' hand, but settled his nerves by carrying James' LV carry-on instead. He showed the attendant his ticket, already behind James slightly and he had to work to catch up as they strolled through the connector to the plane.

Grayson had already deposited their carry-ons and had settled into the pod across from James when he caught a glimpse of the cellphone flash. He made sure to tug his hood up closer to his face before he sat back down, only wanting to give James a peck on the forehead before they settled in for the flight.

"There's a girl behind you taking pictures of us," Grayson murmured, pretending to be occupied on his phone. He glanced up and caught James' scared eyes and smiled at him softly.

"I don't think she recognized me, and I don't think she's realized who are yet, but this is a long flight. I've another got a hoodie in my carry-on if you want it."

"Is this just another sneaky trick to get me in your clothes?"

"Partially," Grayson teased, but got up and grabbed the sweatshirt anyway.

The flight didn't amount to much: the girl quickly forgot about them and resumed clicking away at her phone, and James tucked his foot under Grayson's and promptly fell asleep. They landed in LA early, nearly 4, and when the lights came on in the cabin, Grayson groaned quietly, glancing over to see James still asleep. He touched his foot to James' and watched as James slowly woke up.

"What time?"

"3:47."

"Fuck," James mumbled, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"Is E still picking you up?"

"Yeah. He has no idea you're with me though."

James paused and his head jerked from where he was stashing his headphones and pillow in his backpack to up to look at Grayson.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I haven't told Ethan, yet," he answered sheepishly. It had been a whirlwind the last three days and Grayson had nearly forgotten what had happened himself.

"He's going to flip his shit and if he kills you that's justified and not on me."

"I don't have anything to leave you except my love, baby," Grayson teased as he unbuckled his seat belt.

James rolled his eyes and pushed Grayson lightly.

"You're an idiot."

Ethan met him with a running start at the baggage claim and Grayson felt good for the first time in months. He hugged Ethan tightly, trying to make up for lost time with the hug.

"Fuck, I missed you, bub," Ethan whispered, trying his best not to cry in the middle of LAX.

"Me too," Grayson replied. They pulled away and Grayson cleared his throat and shuffled around.

"Look, there's something I have to tell you—"

"Holy fuck, did you know James was here?" Ethan exclaimed, waving frantically and smiling.

"Uh, yeah. That's because he flew home with me."

Ethan sat in stunned silence for a moment, looking between James, who was now beside Grayson, and Grayson, who looked like he was trying not to look guilty.

"You— And he— and you— and wait aren't you— oh my God you finally did it didn't you!"

"Ethan!"

Ethan only chuckled and grabbed James' bags from him, clapping a big hand on Grayson's back and winking in return to Grayson's confused look.

"Welcome back, Gray."

[neighbours-kid]

2018

I honestly don’t even know where to start.

How does one talk about a year like this?

I’ll try and start at the beginning.

The beginning of my 2018 was very hectic. I started the new year in London with my two closest friends. We were standing on Primrose Hill with probably a few hundred other people, waiting for Big Ben to chime in the new year, and the fireworks over London to start. It was freezing cold, but we had a blast. We returned to Switzerland on January 01, I spent one very hectic day of double- and triple-checking my bags, and seeing some people for the last time for six months.

On January 03 I had my flight to New York City, via Dublin. It was….quite a day, I was highly emotional because everything seemed to fall apart, I had at least one anxiety attack, and it just wasn’t fun. But in the end—and after a night spent in a Dublin airport hotel—I arrived in my East Harlem airbnb in New York for my Stay Abroad around midnight between January 04 and 05.

What I did in New York for my six months stay, you can read on this blog right here, beginning with Part I. You can find links for the other parts at the end of that post.

Being in New York was a highly enjoyable time for me. It gave me the opportunity to become more of myself, be who I am more honestly, more truly, and more openly. I learned a whole lot about the film industry, about so many integral parts of what makes movies good, I learned a lot about myself, who I am and who I want to be, but I think most importantly, and most prominently, I met so many wonderful people who share a lot of interests with me, and who made this adventure unforgettable.

At the end of my time in New York, my mom came to visit me for a week, and we did all the touristy things. We walked up and down Broadway, we saw Time Square, we did The Empire State Building, visited the 9/11 Memorial and the museum, I took her to Brooklyn to eat at Peaches and then we went all the way down to Coney Island. We went all the way up to Washington Heights, went to the MoMA, walked a bit in Central Park, and visited my stomping ground from the Filmmaking Workshop (including eating at Café Katja and going up on the rooftop of my friend’s airbnb). I took her to NYFA where I spent most of my time these six months, she met some of my friends, she had my well-loved lobby-guy-iced-coffee, and ate the deli salad that I had eaten so many times. We saw Hello Dolly thanks to my lovely host, we did the Liberty and Ellis Island boat tour, we found the place Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan finally kiss in You’ve Got Mail (91st Street Garden, Riverside Park), and saw Ocean’s Eight. We both flew back home on July 12, ending my six months adventure in NYC.

And then came the slump.

I came home from six months of doing things I’ve never done before, I came home to good old Switzerland — which at first I was very happy about because I was so TIRED, but there were reasons why I was excited to leave in the first place, so y’know, that was certain to catch up with me — and I was like, what now? And I had no idea.

I hung out with friends and watched the World Cup finale. But then I also went to my grandma’s funeral. But then I saw my dad, and went to a birthday of a friend. I went to the movies, and was able to work for a few days. I went to my cousin’s birthday dinner, my friend’s bachelorette party, a park event of our church.

I was able to celebrate my own birthday with people who I cared about, went to brunch with another dear friend, and yet another birthday. And more work. And my friend’s wedding.

All those things (except the funeral of course) were really cool and I enjoyed seeing my friends, my people.

But in all of that I was just….lost.

I came home from six months of doing so much cool stuff, speaking a language I feel way more comfortable in than my mother tongue, met people I can hopefully call friends for life, became more comfortable in my own skin and started taking steps into the direction where my true self was waiting—I came home, new me came home into old me’s home, and I was lost.

University started and while I missed some of it, I also realised more and more how much I really hated other things.

And during all of that, I was living with friends dear to me for three months. And during that time I realised even more that how things are right now is not a way they can stay for much longer.

Luckily, one of my circumstances changed within the first few weeks of studying. I looked at an apartment with my mom, we both loved it, I applied for it the next day, and the day after that, I got the phone call that I got the place. I was able to move in on October 20, and the rest is history. Having my very own place, where only I live and nobody else, has been very good for me. It’s giving me an even clearer picture of who I am and where I want to go next year.

More lovely birthdays filled those months, more fantastic movies, good days with friends, with family, and some actually really decent days at university. I binge-watched The Mentalist within a month, started reading a book again that I really like, and for a while there, the slump stopped, and I wasn’t so lost anymore.

I finally got my ass to my doctor and did some general check-up, found out that my iron is pretty low and I’m taking stuff for that now, I was able to have a very honest conversation with my doc and she’s forwarded my info to a psychiatrist who should contact me in the next few weeks or months, so that I can start my 2019 knowing that things might actually start going in the right direction for once.

I know, this all sounds like a very good year over all. And it was, for some parts. But 2018 didn’t go by without anything bad happening. Sure, most bad things that happened this year, didn’t personally affect me. I’m not one of the kids separated from their parents at the border. I’m not one of the kids whose school got shot up by a lunatic. I’m not part of a caravan looking for refuge and not being accepted in a country that prides itself to be a country where everyone is accepted. I’m not an unwillingly pregnant woman who can’t get an abortion in my own country. I’m not one of the many people who have lost loved ones to gun violence, white supremacy, racism, homophobia, and many more reasons this year.

I’m lucky, you know. I’m not from a country lead by dictators, white supremacists or literal nazis. I don’t live in a war zone. I’m also white and 99 out of a 100 times don’t get people yelling obscenities at me on the street. I don’t have to fear being assaulted when I walk alone at night, I don’t have to be afraid when police approaches me, I don’t get harassed for how I look or how I speak or where I’m from. I’m lucky.

But hearing these stories every day, reading about so much injustice and hate every day, opening twitter to connect to my international friends and seeing all this crap that is happening every day all over the world, it doesn’t just go by you without having an impact. I lived in a country currently lead by an actual literal fucking nazi and his fucking nazi friends for six months, and even though I lived in New York City, which is kind of a bubble within the states, I felt that, I felt the impact this leadership — or lack thereof — had on the people of this country. I listened. I heard people talk. I had these conversations myself. Living among people who are afraid every day of their lives because the person who is supposed to be leading this country into a brighter future, is an actual nazi who thinks it’s okay that people don’t have access to health care, that children are taken away from their parents, that children keep dying, that people fleeing bad circumstances are being detained in prison camps, this fear doesn’t just go by you. I could go on, but I’m already sick to my stomach just thinking about all this. I experienced this fear during those six months. Not personally, but I felt it all around me. And, if you are even remotely a decent person with some percentage of compassion, that doesn’t leave you unscathed. It makes me angry and sad and frustrated.

2018 was a hell of a year, and I don’t mean that positively.

I still believe there are good people in this world. I see it. I see them every day. I know they exist, I know they’re there, and I know they fight for a better future. But damn. I also see so much hate, so much injustice, so much of what should not be there.

I thought about quitting twitter or at least unfollowing/muting all political talk, because I just keeps dragging me down. But I didn’t. I can’t. I refuse to turn around and close my eyes on all this crap that is happening. If I don’t have twitter, there will come a moment, where I won’t have any idea what is happening, and that will make me susceptible to all the lies that are being told and I can’t have that. I refuse to be one of the sheep who just follows where everyone else goes. Even if my mental health takes a toll, and it does and it will, I refuse to turn a blind eye to what is happening.

I don’t know what these last days of 2018 still hold. I have this week of class left. I have my English Department Christmas Party to go to, I have Christmas with Mom, Christmas with Dad, Christmas with my Quasi-Family, Christmas with my friends. I have some days in between with no plans, I have no clue what I’ll do on New Year’s Eve. I have these plans, but so much could still be happening.

As for 2019….I don’t know what to expect. I have hopes, of course. Doubts, sure. Wishes, definitely. Some plans here and there, too. But who knows what exactly it’ll bring.

I don’t usually do this — I don’t think I’ve actually every done this — but here’s a list of things I’d like to achieve in 2019:

Finish my Bachelor’s Degree.

Have at leats one hands-on creative outlet.

See a Psychiatrist and establish a routine with them.

Establish a basic workout routine that doesn’t require a gym.

Find a job OR decide which Masters to do.

I’m gonna keep it at that. Start small, right?

If everything goes how it’s seems right now, points 1 and 3 are already looking very good. We’ll work on the rest.

On a global scale, I don’t expect there to be any changes in 2019. I hope, of course, but I don’t expect it. Personally, however, I hope that 2019 can be a good year for me. Taking me further on this journey that I started a while ago. I have a feeling that it will do that. I’m hopeful.

I wish you all a very pleasant festive time, and a hopefully not horrible rest of 2018. You deserve good things and I wish you all the best of them. Hug some loved ones. Indulge in something you like. We only have this one live, might as well make the best of it.

Merry Christmas, guys.

[2nd-rate-film-school]

Do you think it’s worth it to go to film school? I’ve got accepted into NYFA LA but about half of the reviews said that the school is a scam and not to go there because it has a bad reputation in LA. I’m not sure if I should choose a different film school or not. Or is it better to just start off writing since you can’t just graduate and become a director? I heard you have a better chance by writing a screenplay then becoming a director. Just need some advice, thank you in advance 💓

Hi Anon,

Whether or not film school is worth it basically depends on your personality and situation. (I went to film school because I don’t have the personality or connections to break into the industry without it.) Film school gives you access to facilities, equipment, professionals in the industry, and a chance to network. Everything else you can get/learn online or in books. You can search #film school on my blog for more in depth answers.

It sounds like you want to go to film school, and I encourage you to pursue the path that feels right for you. I don’t know much about NYFA, but doing a little digging on their website, I wasn’t too impressed with their curriculum for their BFA in filmmaking. It seems a bit slow going (and vague). It does seem like they have decent 1 and 2-year programs and camps. I can’t really make a fair judgement on the school, though, since I don’t have much information. If any one else has info on NYFA, please share with Anon!

As for screenwriting v. directing, it again depends on your preference. If you study screenwriting, you will most likely not get much hands-on experience with production. If you are fine with that, great! If you want to ultimately end up a director, studying directing is a better way to get experience in production. Regardless of what degree you get, you are going to start out at the bottom of the totem pole anyway. Because of this, I encourage you to pursue the degree you are most interested in, as you will learn more relevant information. Another option, one many of my friends have chosen, is to major in directing and minor in screenwriting. That way, you get the hands-on experience while still learning how to improve your storytelling.

[nyfacurrent]

Know Your Rights Sanctuary Training Essentials

Learn basic tips on how to help provide sanctuary and support to immigrant and refugee artists and colleagues.

NYFA recently held a two-hour Know Your Rights Sanctuary Training with Ravi Ragbir, director of the New Sanctuary Coalition; Abou Farman, from Art Space Sanctuary; and Geoff Kagan-Trenchard, Esq. from Anti-Violence Project. We're distilling some of the most important takeaways and encourage you to bring the Know Your Rights Sanctuary Training to your organization. To do so, please contact Abou Farman at farmanfa@newschool.edu and Ravi Ragbir at ravi@newsanctuarynyc.org.

The presentation contextualized a sense of urgency for the affected communities, and the conceptual work that is necessary to understand the intersectional nature of immigration matters. Kagan-Trenchard explained and showed the difference between an administrative and judicial warrant and how to recognize if you are being given a document that has no judicial significance. He provided a reminder that cultural organizations should not be asking and recording immigration status, should avoid storing such information in their database, and must certainly not share it. 

If a law enforcement officer enters your facility, there should be a designated staff member that should: 

Ask them to identify themselves (are they local police or immigration?).

Write down the full name of the officer(s) present.

Ask why he/she is there and request to see a warrant (if the officer lacks a warrant, respectfully ask that the officer leave your premises). 

It is important to be able to recognize and document whether the warrant is administrative or judicial. Try to limit interactions with the officer to specific competent individuals in the organization (counsel or director) and contact a local immigration attorney or nonprofit to advise on the situation. The designated staff member should inform all who are present that they will directly engage with the officers and issue a reminder that everyone present has the right to remain silent.

A few key points to keep in mind before an emergency occurs: 

Don’t wait until you need friends to make them.

Have a contact for an attorney and media rep ready.

Don’t wait until it’s an emergency to make a plan. 

Who is the person in charge if ICE arrives at the venue, and what are they going to say?

“You’ll need to speak with the manager” is something you can say, even if you are a manager.

You have the right to (and should) film interactions with law enforcement/ICE. It’s a good idea to have someone on staff ready for this. Don’t obstruct while filming. 

Don’t have anything to give them. 

Minimize the amount of sensitive information you have.

All social media is monitored. Act accordingly.

 Don’t be quiet about how you feel about them.

A little bit of signage goes a long way. Mark private spaces clearly. That’s where the law can’t enter without a warrant.

Best practices for supporting immigrants in your organization:

Train staff

Post notices 

Delimit public/private spaces

Be mindful of privacy & records

Create a safe environment 

Don’t require ID 

Provide resources and information 

Best practices for immigrants:

Get a New York City ID (NYC ID).

If you have valid immigration documents, show them. Always carry these with you.

DO NOT carry papers from another country: if you have these, they can be used against you in the deportation process.

You do not have to sign papers that you do not understand. Wait until you talk to a lawyer. 

Do not let anyone scare you into signing papers.

By signing something, you are saying that you read and understand the document and agree with what it says.

Emergency safety plan:

Reliable immigration lawyer’s name and number.

Someone to take care of your loved ones (especially children, elderly, and pets).

Arrange for your medical needs. 

Organize important documents in a safe place; make copies and make them accessible to a trusted person. 

Keep your Alien Registration Number (A-number) and birthdate in a place accessible by loved ones should they need to locate you. 

Community safety plan: 

Know your rights!

Develop a Buddy System and community self-defense:

Create a network of friends, family, neighbors, etc.

Put together a text tree, phone tree, noisemakers, banners, videographers, photographers, legal observers, etc.

Important resources: 

Accompaniment Training

Websites for low-cost immigration attorneys in your area:

List of pro-bono legal service providers in the USA

American Immigration Lawyers Association

Administrative Relief Resource Center

 Pro Se (Legal) Clinic

New Sanctuary Coalition Resources Directory

NYFA IAP Resource Directory - Immigrant Services

- Alicia Ehni, Program Officer 

This post is part of the ConEdison Immigrant Artist Program Newsletter #123. Subscribe to this free monthly e-mail for artist’s features, opportunities, and events. Learn more about NYFA Immigrant Artist Mentoring Program.

Images from the Top: Geoff Kagan-Trenchard, Esq., Photo Credit: NYFA; Ravi Ragbir, Photo Credit: NYFA

[taisukeyamada-hua275-blog]

Writing Exercise #1 Roadmap to success

2010 - Start working for web publicity as an intern in Japan. I began taking photographs for concerts and events. At this point, I didn’t have any interest in photography itself nor visual art. 

2014 - Moved to New York City, United States.  I started taking pictures of music events in United States such as festivals and concerts. 

2015 – Switched major to Photography from Journalism at LaGuardia Community College. After learning aesthetic of photography, I’ve decided to take it more seriously. This was also the year of first time to experience and learn the beauty of darkroom. 

2017 - Having financial difficulties, I had to take a break from school. 

2018 – I’ve started working for photographer who uses large format camera. I began making a darkroom print for the artist. 

2019 – As I learn more about history of photography, I’ve grown my interest in visual art itself. I started visiting galleries and museums almost every week to understand what’s that infamous toilet all about. It was also the time that I lost my confidence and interest in taking photography after Instagram became a thing. 

2020 – Since I was able to go back to school as a NY resident, I’ve decided to finish my degree. Then, pandemic hits all over the world so I had to do class on online. Since I didn’t feel like taking pictures, I’ve started camera-less photography called Photogram in bathroom at my apartment. In October, I’ve started working as an art handler. Since then, I’m able to peek through the industry treat artworks as a commodity or sometime trash. 

2021 – In April, I’m going to have a first show/exhibition.  I’m nervous and confused but will make the best of it. 

From now on… I’ll continue to make more work. Though I will still make photography work, I’m going to explore different kinds of medium more as well so that I don’t limit myself. Lately, I’ve started this new project with using found objects such as plastic bag. I also made an installation work in public park and I’ve been editing video footage of it.  I’m focusing making more variety work so that I can create a portfolio out of it then I can apply for grants and AIR by researching on web resources such as NYFA, TransArtists, and pickuptheflownyc.

[brooklynmuseum]

Stronger Together

Weekend Roundup of Resources for our Community


Ay! What’s good Brooklyn? How are you feeling?

As we enter the month of May still under social distancing, we know that the days are getting warmer and we yearn to be with our people more and more each day. However, once we continue practicing physical distance and social solidarity to keep our community whole, the sun, laughter, social engagements, and more will feel incredibly warm and beautiful. Right now, our community needs us and we should do what we best in NYC, spread love and help each other. Check out new opportunities to support and be supported in this week’s roundup.

If you have questions, or have more you wish to see or to spotlight, reach out. We want to hear from you so email stay.connected@brooklynmuseum.org.

Also, text 'COVID' to 692-692 to get important COVID-19 related updates sent straight to your phone. You can text 'COVIDESP' to get updates in Spanish.

Local Business Highlights of the Week:

Prepared foods, groceries, and bar items are now available for pick up from Glady's and sister restaurant, Mo’s Original. Pickups will be scheduled every Wednesday and Saturday. All orders will be picked up at Mo's Original in Crown Heights.

Tom’s Diner, our favorite family owned diner since 1936, is serving your favorite classic food options and breakfasts all day from 8 am-3 pm on weekdays and 8 am-5 pm on weekends. Take out and no contact delivery is available by ordering here.

Census

A reminder to complete the 2020 Census today at my2020census.gov.

Resources for families

NYC Children has created a resource page regarding family resources, parent/caretaker questions, family court and child care assistance.

The Arab American Association of New York (AAANY) has set up a relief network to assist families and businesses in Bay Ridge with the practical and financial challenges of the COVID-19 crisis through grants and distributions of food, supplies, and PPE (personal protective gear). TO apply for service, visit their survey form.

The Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum (APIAHF) is a national policy organization that has developed a Language Resources page for the coronavirus. Languages include, Arabic, Bengali/Bangla, Burmese, Chinese, Chuukese, English, Farsi, Fijian, Gujarati, Hakha Chin, Hawaiian, Hindi, Hmong, Llocano, Indonesian, Japanese.

C19 Help Squad is currently taking requests for both financial help purchasing food, medicine, necessary supplies, bills, rent and other expenses as well as local assistance such as welfare checks or grocery/supply delivery.

If you are a Veteran, Military member, spouse/ partner or immediate family member or Gold Star Family member, fill out the Veterans Mutual Aid survey if you are in need of groceries, need help with housing. For more information, visit the NYC Veterans Alliance.

Resources for the Undocumented Community

We Speak NYC is offering FREE weekly online classes. Join a class to meet new people, learn about New York City services available to all New York City residents, regardless of immigration status, and practice speaking English. Classes meet once a week, every week at the time listed.

ActionNYC is for every immigrant New Yorker. It offers free, safe immigration legal help in a network of trusted community organizations and schools.

The New York Immigration Coalition has developed a resource page of newly released government information in a variety of languages. To find out more, visit their COVID-19 Community Resources.

Undocu Workers Fund NYC will de distributing $200 via Venmo, Zelle or Paypal to undocumented individuals who work in the food industry in Manhattan or Brooklyn. Visit their page to find out more information about eligibility.

If you are undocumented yourself or have family members who are undocumented and have been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, click on the link below to fill out the request form provided by the Bentancourt Macia Family Scholarship Foundation.

Resources for artists, freelancers, and gig workers

Pandemic Unemployment Assistance (PUA) is a federal program that was included in the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act. The program provides support for Americans who are unable to work due to the Coronavirus pandemic, but do not qualify for traditional Unemployment Insurance (UI).

NYFA is administering $1,250,000 in aid to Tri-State Relief Fund to Support Non-Salaried Workers in the Visual Arts. They will distribute one-time unrestricted cash grants of $2,000 each to: freelance, contract, or non-salaried archivists, art handlers, artist/photographer’s assistants, cataloguers, database specialists, digital assets specialists, image scanners/digitizers, and registrars. Please click here for a full list of eligibility requirements and required application materials.

Volunteer Opportunities

Bed-Stuy Strong is a group of neighbors helping neighbors in a spirit of solidarity. Find out how you are able to donate, help, or in need of assistance by visiting their website.

#Brooklyn Shows Love Mutual Aid Project is a mutual aid project to any and all Brooklynites who need grocery/supply deliveries, medication pick-up/drop-offs, tenant/rent-strike organizing support, and other forms of material aid. For more information visit their website, and to sign up to volunteer click here.

Volunteer to support home-bound seniors with Heights and Hill in partnership with City Councilman Brad Lander.

Buildings & Residents

For Tenants/Landlords - Disinfection Guidance for Buildings: Check out these guidelines on how to maintain your building during COVID-19.

Property Tax issues: Got property tax issues? Check out the Department of Finance (DOF) who administers a number of benefits in the form of tax exemptions, abatements, and money-saving programs.

Remember to Follow Our Elected Officials For News:  

Stay up to date with information provided by Governor Cuomo. Follow our New York State governor on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for up to date information regarding new health guidelines closures, and executive orders.

The Mayor has a new Daily Message available on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube every morning. If your constituents have questions, comments or concerns, they want him to respond to, they can send them using the hashtag #AskMyMayor

The Office of the Brooklyn Borough President provides the most up-to-date information and resources to Brooklynites. Follow these pages regularly and follow Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams on social media for real-time updates.

Interested to see what is happening on the federal level? Follow New York State Senator Chuck Schumer on Twitter and Instagram for updates on COVID-19 and information on New York State.

Follow federal updates regarding COVID-19 from Senator Gillibrand. You can follow Gillibrand on Twitter and Instagram.

Proudly serving the Hudson Valley House Representative Maloney is working hard for his constituents during the current pandemic. For more information follow Maloney on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Congresswoman for the 9th District, Yvette D. Clark is working hard in Congress to support our local communities. Follow the Congresswoman on her Twitter to receive updates on what is going on in Washington DC and resources available in your ‘hood!

Follow updates from Council Member Carlos Mechaca, representing District 38-Sunset Park, Red Hook, Greenwood Heights, and portions of Borough Park, Dyker Heights and Windsor Terrace on Facebook for more information regarding COVID-19.

Follow updates from Council Member Stephen T. Levin on Facebook and Twitter. Levein represents District 33-Brooklyn Heights, DUMBO, Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Boerum Hill and Bedford–Stuyvesant.

Follow Updates from Council Member Alicka Ampry-Samuel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Ampry-Samuel represents District 41-Bedford Stuyvesant, Ocean Hill-Brownsville, East Flatbush, and Crown Heights.

Deana Lawson (American, born 1979). Oath, 2013. Pigment print. Brooklyn Museum, William K. Jacobs, Jr. Fund, 2015.6.1. © Deana Lawson (Photo: Image courtesy of the artist)