#of course he would fucking like invader zim..........

[shoechoe]

you know what sure

[ecto-hazard]

pseudoencephalophobia

i think ive always had anxiety but it hasnt always manifested the same. now that im older and more aware of myself i have much more of the social phobias i didnt have when i was younger. but i still had things that made me nervous. i felt the need to hide journals and art even if there was nothing particularly incriminating in them. i would tell my parents my brother asked for ice cream or snacks or whatever so that if they said no, they wouldnt say no to me. these were all sort of weird quirks that were mostly in my own mind, but they probably were learned behaviors. you can probably trace them to specific causes. not wanting to feel ashamed. or be told no. stuff like that idk. they may have been irrational, but they ultimately made sense in my mind. but throughout my life a particular fear of mine never made any sense even to me.

when i was a kid i was like deadly afraid of brains. like the organ. even as a concept. idk what exactly started this cause i wasnt like Born like that (my suspicion is that it came from seeing a goreish gag from spongebob, specifically the strike episode with the door, but i also have a vague memory of DECIDING to be afraid of brains like on purpose???? i couldnt tell you what exactly happened there). it started around me being like 6 maybe. but it was like such a problem for so long in my life. i couldnt look at brains. drawings of brains. even cartoonish undetailed drawings of brains. watching nickelodeon and similar stuff was an inherent gamble. i had to cover my eyes whenever the scientist showed up on nightmare before christmas. martha speaks was one of my favorite cartoons on pbs but i fucking couldnt look at the goofy diagram demonstrating how alphabet soup went to her brain and let her talk. i had nightmares of rats with exposed brains, would wake up crying, and lied about the dream being worse when i felt it wouldnt be taken seriously. i similarly lied that i saw something scary on tv when i was at my grandmas when it was just an episode of chowder (i didnt even fucking see the brain on screen i just turned it off immediately knowing it was going that direction). at one point i couldnt even hear the word brain. or read it. i insisted people use mind instead. this annoyed people but that severity of it didnt last forever.

this was an issue for way too long in my life. even when i was an older teen. pretty much everything else i learned in health class was gross and upsetting to an extent. like i remember spending hours sobbing cause i couldnt bring myself to watch dissection videos for biology classes. but brains in particular just fucked with me. i still needed sticky notes and shit covering up the brains in my health textbook (SPECIFICALLY the brains! nothing else!). i still felt the need to cover my eyes watching shit like invader zim (idk why nickelodeon has so much gore???). i mostly kept it to myself, so it was less a bother to other people, but everyone close to me still knew it was a problem.

i was going to go into wildlife biology in college. it was the first time i felt really passionate about a future job. i loved animals. i wanted to work with animals. i had experience volunteering at an animal shelter and all. i was really excited to work with snakes in particular. i was still bothered by anatomy, i knew that was an inevitable part of it, but i was determined that i could overcome it for my passion

i could not

i didnt get through the first semester. none of the classes i took had any particular anatomy stuff, it was all real general Hey youre a freshman classes. at the end of our intro to bio course, the professor did a presentation showing what he worked on. photos of his research from the past. alzheimers research. a really important field to research in! but i saw the photos of dissections and that was it. i broke down. i left class fucking sobbing. i was humiliated. i had to immediately call my parents to say i couldnt do it anymore

the fortunate thing was that i switched majors to chemistry and had a good time with that. covid happened so that was a load of shit near the end, but overall i did fine. when i graduated, i was on anxiety meds and had been to therapy and had gone through a lot of self reflection and discovery (the nonbinary kind of course). i was wanting to do grad school of some kind but doing chemistry research wasnt really a good fit for me

id always liked biology. even if it scared me. so i looked into going into medicine. i had to actually take anatomy courses i didnt take at that point in order to apply to the programs i was looking at. my parents were supportive enough to pay for 2 more years of classes out of pocket so i could catch up on bio stuff

i was better about my fear at that point. i found diagrams disturbing but ultimately could get through them. but i was still afraid i wouldnt be able to handle it when i got deep in the course. specifically when it came to the nervous system lab. sheep brain dissection. id seen a video years ago in high school, but had never participated in dissection myself

(and i still wouldnt. the schools funding was limited, so they reused the same brains each lab and didnt actually cut them up. they were sort of prefilleted)

i slowly worked through the class. no major breakdowns. the models and posters went from unnerving to mundane. the plastic molds i hesitated to touch now but i still anticipated the lab. it felt like my ultimate test.

the day comes. the buckets of formaldehyde are out. all the nursing students in here dont want to be the first one to touch the little gray mass the teacher pulls out. theyre grossed out at the very least, which is fair. i wonder if any of them were similarly terrified.

i volunteer to take a look at it first. get it over with. the teacher puts the flesh in my gloved hands. its wet. it feels exactly like i thought it would.

and im fine. i was fine.

im proud of myself of course. i get through that class. and the next one. and all of them. i work at the biology department. i help set up the labs. i spend a significant amount of time living my childhood nightmare. and its fine. im okay. and im happy. i did it.

what i eventually became aware of is that im not like completely cured of my phobia. maybe its not even really considered a phobia anymore. but i found with more reflection that working with actual dissections and specimens, that didnt bother me for some reason. it doesnt at all. like i dont think id be okay seeing like. violent gore irl. but seeing what we Actually look on the inside was underwhelming.

what i did realize is that medical diagrams were still a bit disturbing. idk what exactly it is. the bright colors? the lighting they usually have? theres something off about them. something grotesque that isnt found in real flesh

and cartoons? even worse. always worse. theres a level of simplicity where it doesnt bug me, but seeing shit like gore in nickelodeon cartoons still upsets me sometimes. i Can watch it. i Can see that stuff without fucking losing my mind. but it disturbs me. and i dont know why. i dont know why that primal anxiety still stirs when i see brains in spongebob. but i have a sort of a theory

i think about the concept of uncanny valley. an almost universal response where humans feel disgust or fear seeing something thats Almost Human but not quite enough human. mannequins and animatronics. its off. its not quite right. the primal part of you sees it and knows not to trust it

i wonder if my brain knows that too. even if its come to identify with the outer layer of my face, i wonder if my brain knows itself subconsciously. especially when im distant, absorbed in a story, in a dream, out of touch with my external senses. when i disconnect, maybe my brain sees the familiar shape of my true form in the drawings on the screen. but it knows what it sees isnt right. its seeing a false image. ridges are too pronounced. colors are too bright. and somethings missing. it cant identify what. but a crucial part isnt there. it cant be trusted. uncanny valley.

so yeah i recently was able to play goobers lab on webkinz without panicking and it was pretty cool even if its just bejeweled. 6/10

[thiefking]

i need to draw/speak more of my narutos. "my narutos" meaning specifically the versions of every character that exist in my head, of course. i wanna draw hinata and gaara (besties of all time) especially. because other than the fact that they have the most fully realized design changes in my head, they are perhaps the defining aspect of My narutos, as opposed to everyone else's. their friendship to me is like "ok i'm going out...! (wearing some extremely Please Don't Look At Me outfit)" "not dressed like that you're not." "better? (she is now gothed the fuck out with an invader zim handbag)" "yas bitch slay." this is how they work. to me

i want to draw Literally Exactly That what i just described there as a meme but i do also kind of want to write or draw sometjing more substantial because i am The Hinata And Gaara Understander. as individual characters and as a pair of besties. amd i need to explain to others why it makes perfect sense because i just Know that i am one of extremely few to look at these two, of all characters, and deduce that the character arc hinata SHOULD have had is one that would be so obvious to gaara & something he would encourage. or maybe the only one, but the fandom is/was so big that it feels statistically unlikely... if we're talking CURRENT fandom i may actually be uniquely insane about this. i don't know for sure i haven't really interacted with the fandom i've been fucking around in my own skull this whole time that's how i even arrived at "hinagaara bffs" in the first place

but like... listen. hinata's thing is basically (in an inconsistent, half-baked, and never fully realized form): "i can change to improve myself and finally meet everyone else's standards and prove them wrong...!" as she is trying to emulate naruto. ... "prove them wrong", but she is not subverting anything if she meets an expectation that was explicitly set. hinata is not naruto. naruto's expectations were that he is worthless and nothing and not worth having any expectations for in the first place, and basically all of konoha thought this way. if naruto accomplishes basically anything at all he proves someone wrong, even if just a little. hinata had expectations set on her, specifically by her family, that she is not meeting. even though what hinata WANTS to do is prove them wrong, what she is fundamentally DOING is trying to please them by doing exactly what they want her to do. yes, when they think she won't even meet their lowest expectation and she does meet it, she is TECHNICALLY proving them wrong... but she isn't really achieving meaningful personal growth by doing this, is she? all she has done is meet their standards and essentially fall into their evil ghoul trap and accept EVEN MORE PRESSURE as a "reward" because now that she finally met this one single goal, they can move the goalpost. she will only ever be the failure who occasionally surprises them, she will always be lagging behind the others, and every single time she fails she gets sent back to square 1 in their eyes. meeting all their expectations or even surpassing them entirely is always going to feel hollow and fragile, because in the back of her mind, if she slips even once she has to do it all over again. she deserves better than constant paranoia

gaara (and pretty specifically gaara) can rightfully point out the problem with hinata's current mindset because hinata's hardships are way closer to GAARA'S than naruto's, to be honest. it's not lacking a family; it's having a family that doesn't feel like a family, and that family isolating one child and encouraging the others to treat them like shit so that one child never has anyone on their own level when they're at home and they are constantly forced to be aware they lack some ambiguous something that seemingly everyone else has that would make them "worthy" of being loved by their own family

hold on let me put yhe rest under a readmore this post is long as fuck

the hyuugas treat hinata like shit and call her weak, and because her parents gladly and openly call her weak and because she's supposed to be heiress to the clan, her sister and neji (the only family who were close enough in age and rank to not intimidate) were made to hate her, think she is weak, be jealous of and resent her for being heiress despite her weakness, and treat her like shit like the other hyuugas do, thus completely isolating her within her family. and rasa treated gaara like shit and had given up on him LONG before he snapped (let's be fucking real here if gaara had to learn that "love" makes emotional pain feel better at age SIX... and not to mention the entire yashamaru """plan""" was utterly and blatantly fucking NONSENSE on all levels like nice going rasa you just turned your kid almost irreversibly insane... seemingly on purpose...? i can only assume it was on purpose and you just wanted to be a spiteful bitch to the kid who killed your wife because literally what else did you think was going to happen with that but that's a rant for another time.), he tacitly encouraged temari and kankuro to not even bother with gaara and to be afraid of him like everyone else is because RASA was also OBVIOUSLY SCARED and not only that he was constantly literally trying to murder gaara so temari and kankuro also had reason to believe from a very young age that associating with him might make rasa treat THEM like that too, essentially forced gaara to straight up kill his uncle who was the ONLY family member he had who talks to him like he isn't a monster (and inexplicably decided that he should also tell gaara outright that he is not and was never loved by anyone), etc etc etc; gaara was also isolated within his own family and made to be the odd one out, over and over again. naruto knows what it's like not having a family at all, but he never experienced having family— non-metaphorical, blood relation, "entire reason you were born" family— who hates you. naruto knows how it feels to be neglected and feared by an entire village, that's how he relates to gaara. hinata was hated by her own family, the people she depended on for life itself, but she was never hated by the village at large, even if she perceives herself to be. naruto can empathize with this and put himself in her shoes, but like... gaara KNOWS, firsthand, what hinata is experiencing. that is why gaara is fairly uniquely capable of pointing out the problem Very Directly because he would see it way faster than anyone else

naruto could see it too, and he could say all the same things, but he wouldn't do it how gaara would. and i think hinata needs to hear someone speak to her, bluntly and authoritatively, and say "you deserve better than this." because normally whenever she hears someone (her own family) speak to her bluntly in an authoritative tone they're telling her she's weak and pathetic and subpar and needs to improve, and every time she is spoken to like that she believes them and marks that weakness off as something to fix. hearing incredibly matter-of-fact validation and encouragement spoken the exact same way primes her to believe that encouragement, and now her compulsive need to please people who speak to her that way is going to force her, even fleetingly, to take it seriously. especially because gaara would tell her something she is doing wrong, which will feel familiar, but he actually has HER best interests in mind. there is no benefit or advantage for him if she succeeds. he is unaffiliated, not even from konoha, he gains nothing from it. gaara doesn't tell her to try harder nor to give up and accept mediocrity. gaara tells her it's okay to give up and try something else, and sometimes it's the people around you who are the ones who need to change, not you.

gaara looks at "i will change myself to prove myself to others", and he says instead: "you need to stop caring what other people think about you and stop morphing yourself to their perception. just because YOU aren't doing that in a 'if you all want to call me a monster then fine, i'll be a monster' kind of way, like i did, that doesn't mean that isn't still an unhealthy way to think. you should figure out who YOU are and live as who YOU are, unapologetically, until they get the point that they can either accept you as you are and realize they were wrong, or they can fuck off. this is a situation where it is Not Your Fucking Problem that other people are disappointed with you especially because of how hard you've already been working to try and meet their arbitrary standards. this isn't about talent or hard work. this is about whether you even Want to be doing what everyone else wants you to do. and it is difficult and terrifying and lonely to be the only person who knows who you really are. it is hard work to figure it out and it is hard work to convince others, and at times it will feel hopeless. so i won't let you be the alone. i won't let you have to try and fail all alone, like i did. i will be your first victory, i will give you listening ears, i will be your silent dressing room mirror while you try on different hats before you figure out which one fits, i will be here and i will not judge you or decide on your behalf who you are, and i will be your family if no one else will. literally. if they cast you out you can come home to me. temari and kankuro have already accepted me as i am, i'm sure they'll accept you as you are too"

and then with time and gentle coaxing hinata decides to stop trying to be what her family wanted her to be and starts being a goth weirdgirl and pursues her interests in mycology and psychology and entomology and starts fucking THRIVING

i could go on forever. i should stop now or i never will. some of the parallels between them or the reasons that gaara would specifically want to support her in the specific ways i envision came about entirely from headcanon (coughs. even more headcanon than... the rest of this... coughs) and i FORGET that it's headcanon. for example "gaara created his good reputation in sunagakure through brute force good deeds. like people were so scared of him that they wouldn't let him CASUALLY prove that he was trying to be better, so he basically had to scare them even more just to prove that he was no longer scary. things like using his sand to hold people in place... so that he can physically put money into their hands and say 'this is yours and you will take it and use it to pay rent and buy your child that toy he wants. i do not want anytjing in return and i will be leaving you alone now.' because otherwise people would run away before he even gets the chance to be nice. literally just has to hold them still and pointedly do something nice for them and then let them go without hurting them while they tremble in misplaced terror like he;s a wildlife vet wrangling an injured seagull". this is part of why he would say "be unapologetically you and they can accept that and realize they were wrong about you to begin with, or they can fuck off". NONE OF THAT is explicitly canon... but there is so much & it makes perfect sense to me. aauuugaghh hinata my hinata my hinagaara besties my hinata. i could go on and on and on and on. goddammit I WILL GIVE HER THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDS & DESERVES... GIVE HER TO ME KISHIMOTO.... WHAT IF THE FACT THAT HINATA HAS 3 PERSONALITY TRAITS IN CANON ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING AND WASN'T JUST BECAUSE YOU, MASASHI KISHIMOTO, SELF-ADMITTEDLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE WOMEN? WOULDN'T THAT BE SO MUCH LESS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU? I CAN MAKE IT REAL! I CAN MAKE IT MEANINGFUL!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT REPRESSION!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT WORKING HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND SAYING "SCREW YOU" TO PEOPLE WHO TRY AND DECIDE WHO YOU ARE ON YOUR BEHALF, AND THE REJECTION OF THE STATUS QUO, AND EMBRACING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT AND MAKING USE WHAT UNIQUE STRENGTHS YOU HAVE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MATCH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND HOW HUMAN LIVES ARE INHERENTLY VALUABLE EVEN IF EVERYONE AROUND YOU SAYS YOURS IS WORTH NOTHING!!! JUST LIKE WHAT NARUTO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! I CAN EVEN SPICE IT UP A BIT AND USE MY MAGICAL WOMAN-UNDERSTANDING POWERS TO MAKE IT ABOUT HOW WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY JUST REGULAR PEOPLE WHO ARE AS VARIED AS MEN AND HOW THE SOCIETAL CONCEPTS OF WOMANHOOD AND PROPER WOMANLY BEHAVIOUR ARE RESTRICTIVE AND OPPRESSIVE, AND THE MANY WAYS THAT SOCIETY WILL FORCE TOTAL CONFORMITY AND PUNISH EVERYONE WHO STEPS OUTSIDE OF THAT FRAME (AND EVEN THOSE WHO REMAIN WITHIN)!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY!!!! I KNOW YOU'RE AFRAID OF GIRLS MR KISHIMOTO WILL IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I ALSO MAKE IT ABOUT NEJI WATCHING HINATA COMPLETELY REJECT HER CAGE AND DISCOVER HERSELF AND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT AND MAYBE JUST COVER YOUR EARS WHEN I START TALKING ABOUT EGGS!!!!!! MR KISHIMOTOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEASE

[pinetrees-in-the-water]

hiiii, can you do Tim/masky as a father figure to emo/scene kid teenagers??? C:

Oh my god of course!! This is so wholesome, as an emo myself and former scene kid I approve of the Dad Tim/Masky agenda <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

◇Masky/Tim Wright as a father figure to emo/scene teenagers◇

-He never thought of himself as the fatherly type considering all his addictions and his past with the Operator, but he found out that he WANTED to try his best to be a role model after meeting these kids.

-Actively doesn't abuse any substances around the kids as he doesn't wanna normalize it for them.

-He is so supportive. (Even if he can be a little aloof sometimes)

-Tim listens to some emo bands (I think he'd like Good Charlotte and Three Days Grace most) but overall never got super into the style side of the subculture.

-So he's completely facinated when the kids show up with racoon tail hair and gel spikes, hed seen kids back when he was a teenager with the style and is a little amazed kids are still dressing like that.

-If any other kids were bullying his kids he'd scare them, Tim's an intimidating man normally so him appearing behind them or yelling usually does the trick.

-Now if any adults decided to be dicks.....

-He wants to be a good influence and despises what the Operator made him do in the past so nothing TOO bad would happen but they'll certainly get a bit "roughed up".

-Gets the kids old 2000s magazines to go through so they can learn more about what the subculture was like at its peak.

-Tim would absolutely dig up all his old CDs for ANYTHING relevant and play them on car rides. He struggles sometimes when the nightmares or intrusive thoughts hit hard so sometimes a car ride with loud music and singibg teens is just what he needs.

-Road trips and stops by Gas station fast food places are a VERY common occurrence.

-Asks them to do his eyeliner (It becomes a regular occurrence since it hides his bags a bit and he pulls it off VERY well)

-Cannot dye hair, will offer to help if the kids are struggling but its a bad idea.

-Constantly reminds the kids to wear heat protectant when straightening their hair, will even buy them wigs if their hair is getting too damaged.

- "You can't dye your hair green if you have no hair left kid"

-Fucking despises shopping because of the crowds. He's been wearing the same old jackets for forever because "They work".

-Despite this he'll still try and come along for the kids, maybe stand a little suspiciously in a corner of the shop until they're all done.

-Takes the kids out to all the concerts in the area (mostly sneaks them in ngl hes not a bad influence but hes not the best one either)

-Likes how colorful scene clothing can be but does not get all the memes and subculture norms, dude doesn't have a social media.

-"What is XD and :3?"

-Asked if Invader Zim was a rat as a joke, this was followed up with all the kids and Tim binging all the episodes with the kids (he ended up enjoying it).

-The more time he spends with them, unknowingly he starts to see them as his own :)

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Vector for the character ask?

OH BOY 🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕

Why I like them/why I don’t: HE'S JUST THAT GOOD A CHARACTER he's SO expressive and full of personality i cant help but be endeared by him. he's just the right blend of Oof Ow Ouchie Ow and I Want to Strangle This Little Asshole. he's just such a perfect over the top yugioh villain. not to mention all the insane Hell From the Bible symbolism

What I like about their appearance: i give him shit for the hair but like. the orange spikes + his leather jacket is such a sick look. also HIS BARIAN FORM IS SO FUCKING GOOOODDDDD some of the barians im not as into design-wise but vector's color palette and his big freaky rock wings and his insaneo expressiveness are just fantastic. absolute freak ever. he looks like dana from another dimension drew him.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names? sorry but 'ray shadows' is fucking hysterical. raid shadow legends.

OTP: SIGHS. THE FOILSHIP GOT ME REAL BAD. the yumavector aro maneuvers in my brain continue to deep fry me. 'the world needs more of you, and less of me' FUCKING ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!! YAOI BEAR TRAP

NOTP: i feel like i see vector/rio a lot and mostly im just like.....why would you subject rio to that....................................

OT3: mentioned when i talked about trey but yuma/vector/trey could be something i think. if we open our eyes.

Favourite card they use: man vector's deck kind of sucks ass. umbral horror support any day now. anyway i do love Rank Up Magic Barian's Force forever and ever <3 I ALSO REALLY LIKE THIS WEIRDASS RABBIT HE USED WHEN HE WAS RAY SHADOWS MODE?!?? invader zim lookin ass

Favourite moment they were in: god. so many. The Reveal at Sargasso. His Wings Crumbling Off Into the Ocean. His Great Bamboozlment during his duel with Nasch that I Fucking Fell For. like. Any Time He's On Screen TBH. ok no of course. i think my favorite moment is his exchange with yuma before dying <3 bear trap <33 BEAR TRAP <333

Least favourite moment: i honest to god can't think of one. literally every time he's on screen was such a treat for me with those damn expressions of his.

Something I associate with them: 🥕

[ickbite]

NEVER MET

2. She looks just like you!

Last. Masterlist. Next.

"mommy, i—i wanted to watch Hee but my tablet wo—won't work," Y/Ns five year old sobbed, her lip was pouted tapping her small, chubby fingers against the device.

Y/N and her daughter, jaeden, stood in the kitchen of their apartment that the mother had bought in Seoul. Y/N worked as a cafe waitress which didn't pay enough for an actual house but paid enough for just their small apartment, it was just the two of them though so it's not like it mattered.

"jae, baby, your tablet is just dead, if you put it on the charger, you can watch Hee in an hour, alright?" Y/N squatted down to her daughters level, grabbing the tablet and putting it on the nearest charger.

Who the fuck was Hee? Y/N had no clue what the kids watched these days, she was raised off of "the better shows;" invader zim, powerpuff girls, teen titans, etc. she was never too big on kids, even though she managed to take care of her own child for five years, and she did a pretty good job at it (if she says so herself).

"okay, uncle Soobin is coming over, okay? He'll be watching you while i'm at work," Y/N informed her daughter who wasn't paying attention, Jae was just mumbling nonsense while aggressively picking up a red marker and pressing it on the paper.

"i literally can't believe you're actually here,” Sunghoon sighed as he watched his three friends enter the cafe.

“You wanted us to, I have the evidence,” Heeseung shrugged.

“You have to sing, sir,” Kahei mumbled to the boy she was training, her and Y/N were taking turns teaching him the ways of the cafe.

“Yeah, Hee, sing,” Jake laughed, putting his hand up to his mouth to conceal his laugh.

Heeseung got out his camera, turning it on quickly and turning it towards the boy.

Sunghoon sighed, “welcome to Cafe Melody, how many?” He said with a smile (obviously forced).

“For three please,” Jay laughed out, the boys couldn’t get over how weird Sunghoon looked.

“Right this way,” Kahei stood up from her seat, walking the boys to a booth.

“Welcome to Cafe Melody, may I take your order?” Y/N had a smile on her face as she opened her notepad, taking the pen that was set behind her ear into her hand.

“Can I get the melodycakes?” Jay pointed to a picture of the red-colored pancakes that was on the menu.

“Got it, and y….. Heeseung?” Y/N lifted an eyebrow.

"you know her?" Jay whispered.

"she's an ex from high school."

"so how have you been doing since

we broke up? any good things?"

"actually, i've become a streamer—"

"streaming for all those years finally

paid off, huh?" Y/Ns smile visibly lit up,

even though she didn't like the man anymore, she was glad he achieved his dream.

"how've you been holding up?"

"i'm good, i live in an apartment nearby,

i have a daughter, this job pays well,

there's not much to tell about me, i'm

still the same soana as i was five years

ago."

Y/M knew she would regret telling her own childs father that she had a daughter but Jaeden was Y/N's greatest creation, of course she wanted to brag.

"you have a daughter?"

Y/N nodded, pulling out her

phone to show the two her lockscreen,

which was a picture of jae from her

fifth birthday. Y/N turned around to where she heard footsteps and saw Sunghoon sitting people at a table, “I have to go anyways, I’ll be back with your food.”’

Jake and Jay were flabbergasted, their mouths were parted as they waved Y/N make her leave.

"she looks exactly like you..." Jake whispered.

Watch was true, Jaeden looked almost identical to Heeseung.

"don't be stupid, Jake, obviously she doesn’t."

"did you ever have sex with the waitress?" Jay asked. true, the question that was meant to be a joke, but what took the two by surprise is when he refused to answer.

"WOAH, HEE—"

"shut up!"

"achoo!"

"are you okay, bunny?" Vivi asked, the girl who had just come back to the hostess booth.

"that's odd i hardly ever sneeze," Y/N mumbled, sniffling a few times before

walking to the designated group to

pass them their coffee.

"maybe someone's talking about you."

"don't be weird!"

———————

@isyluvr @rizz00 @deobitifull @jakesimsimcard

[spacegoathours]

Who exiled Callie? Was it Spork during what little time he was Tallest? Was it Red and Purple? Did they know her as elites or only of her? Is there drama there or was it a dismissive impulse not given a second thought?

So I’ve thought a lot about how to answer this. I have this entire scene written and was actually sort of proud of it back in October when I wrote it the first time. Now it’s no longer accurate, but maybe I’ll show you in private at some point? I tried to rewrite it to answer this ask but it’s too different and I’ll explain why!!

Under the cut. Naturally. I like to talk.

Originally, Red and Purple exiled Callie. Her story was closely tied to a more typical Irken OC’s story - an actual Invader. To summarize, Callie did what she was told for years and years, reaching the top of her class in the academy, excelling at elite training and finally reaching Invader status… just to throw it in their faces on stage. She tries to convince them how well she did scientifically and how she’d be much better suited in continuing research instead, but the Tallest only see this girl as a shorter version of Miyuki. So does everyone ever. Callie is just a shadow of her former mentor and that’s all she was born to be.

Red and Purple get angry. Really angry. They make it a point to insult her as much as possible in front of the whole crowd. Traitor. Waste of a perfectly good Invader. A disgrace to Miyuki’s legacy. Defective. And as if things couldn’t get worse, an incoming transmission interrupts their onslaught of abuse and OF COURSE it’s none other than Zim. This gives Red an idea, which Purple picks up on and follows, to send Callie to Urth to keep Zim out of their antennae for fuck’s sake. Zim is like gee whiz thanks :) because he’s an idiot and Callie is shoved in a broken ship and sent off to this Urth. But she’s just happy to be off Irk.

To answer your question, impulsive. In the moment for sure, but she would have been punished one way or another. Red and Purple knew of Callie but didn’t spend any time with her in elite training.

ANYWAY NONE OF THAT HAPPENS NOW

Currently, the way the story goes is:

Shortly after the Vort research station 9 disaster - in which she directly disobeyed orders to let any non-Irkens die in the raging fires in the labs - Callie finds herself hiding out “underground” for a while, avoiding as much contact with Irken authority as possible. Irk is in shock for a while, they’re scrambling to elect a new Tallest, they’re mourning Miyuki, and once they pass by a few stages of grief they remember oh hey wait, Miyuki had a successor didn’t she? Where is that little bitch?

And the hunt for Callie commences. She knows it’s coming and spends that time hiding out thinking up ways to escape Irk undetected. If found, she’ll be forced not necessarily to be Tallest but she biologically isn’t but likely to resume a role she despised this whole time. Who knows the continued mental and physical trauma she’d sustain under the new Tallest they elect. Could be worse, could be better!, but she’s not willing to take the chance. She’d no doubt have to help with the organization of OID, again something she knew was going to happen via Miyuki and something she was vehemently against.

She meets an Irken with similar ideals to her own that helps her into a ship - not a great one, but it functions at least - and gets her off Irk (This is one of the OCs I’ve been working on! Boy howdy I only make them to support Callie! Boy howdy I’m annoying). So in this instance, she isn’t exiled by anyone in particular, but she sure as hell can’t return to Irk. She’s wanted, and a danger both to them and to the collective. Naturally they want Callie deactivated if/when they can get a hold of her.

(and they do, later on when Red and Purple are in power, and the poor girl gets tortured. like, bad. but that’s a story for another daaaay)

((side note apparently I’m in the “the Tallest are most evil villains ever” club; genuinely I think they’re a couple a dummies but I needed to deeply villainize SOMEBODY and they fit the bill i guess idk))

[goofy-gang-in-the-wacky-chat]

mmmnnnn thinkin thoughts recently

i ljke how all the cult leaders are trying to achieve the same thing but are motivated by completely different things

lets start the most simple i guess?

batty- the need for power

she motivated by POWER OF COURSE (it is a normal girl with no insecurities and anxietys i prommy (me when i lie)) for her the main apeals are well the world domination first of all (autistic, invader zim coded ass girl :3) and the immortality / supernatural abilitys, being a prey animal that is mostly protrayed as a blind, loyal follower makes her INSECURE and WEAK FEELING

caoimhe- the need for survival

yeah okay say hi to the new guy "hi caoimhe hii" anyways her problem is that hes got fucking CHRONIC WASTING DIESEASE hes dying like BADLY shes basically using the power afforded to her by being a cult leader to extend her livespan and hopefully get that damn immortality, he doesn't care much for the cause or whatever he just wants to live and not die a horrible death (he probably hates batty xtra because of her reveling in the thing that hes absolutely terrified of (and its really fucking annoying))

frans- the need for love / validation

ya think being the leader of a love cult frans would be surrounded by love right? nah. her mother allways saw her as more of i guess... a pawn? any affection she was shown as a child was basically conditional, shes gotta be the perfect little puppet or be completely ignored. even now once shes completed her mothers lifes work shes not shown much affection, alot of the gods tend to have nearly mentorish / parental roles to the priests (batty and ser have a goofy kind of father daughter relationship and caoimhes god acts alot like an overprotective parent (more on them soon))

and ironically despite being the love goddess cupid show her no affection and really enjoys watching relationships fall apart

wow uhm that was alot of writing huh?

(if only i could put this much thought and effort into school work heheh)

[hismercytomyjustice]

I once again find myself yelling at the tv today.

This is what happens when my husband is traveling for work.

…and also when he is at home.

Bridgerton and Helluva Boss spoilers below the cut!

This post is also basically borderline gibberish, so 🤷

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHOY!

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN THAT MAN PICKED UP LADY BRIDGERTON’S…handkerchief? I don’t actually know

BUT OH MY GOD

LET HER FIND LOVE AGAIN GODDAMMIT

Tho ngl part of me kind of shipped her and Lady Danbury but that would be a little weird what with the events of the Queen Charlotte series… STILL. I’m glad they’re at least besties.

BUT OMGGGGGG. I am so excited for her to get another chance at love!!! 😭 God the scenes in the Queen Charlotte series and the 2nd season with her broke my heart.

I also have such a soft spot for multiple great loves in one’s lifetime idk I am a sap like that. I’ve seen it in my own family and my in-laws and I just find it so sweet and bittersweet.

AUGH I AM JUST SO HAPPY AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE MORE WITH THIS MAN

It’s possible they actually do introduce him but I paused the episode like right after so lol I am as yet in the dark

Also I LOVE seeing Colin realize he caught feelings. Especially after Pen has pined after him for so long.

WELL WELL WELL HOW THE TURNTABLES

But omg her having to write about herself HURT MY HEART

I was wondering how they were going to mend fences somewhat with her and her struggles with Colin and Eloise and DAMN she went straight for her own jugular

THAT’S NOT SELF-COMPASSION PEN!

Ugh there is so much sweetness this season so far that I’m gonna get cavities T_T

I love getting to see the characters get to play more and be unabashedly themselves

I am a season 2 super fan lol. It’s been so nice getting to see more of the fucking phenomenal chemistry between Kate and Anthony

I love them so much T_T

I love Lady Danbury too. And that we’re getting more of her friendship with the Queen because MY HEART THE FUCKING PREQUEL OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD

T_T her love with George gives me life and also SO MUCH SADNESS

Lol it’s also a little weird watching this because I live in Charlotte, NC which consists of Mecklenburg County both of which are named after the queen lol

We are ~the Queen City~ literally. That is Charlotte’s literal nickname.

—

HELLUVA BOSS SPOILERS AHOY!

I pretty much watched the entire two seasons over the past two days

I wasn’t sure how I was gonna feel about it after Hazbin but I loved it in a different way

love Stolas so much T_T he is such a sad little bird man and CAN HE AND BLITZO JUST BE BOYFRIENDS AND GIRL DADS OKAY?!

also as soon as his dad showed up I was just like “wait one goddamn second, JAFAR?”

And it was! But I recognized him from the Broadway and then I fucking found out he had basically been Jafar since goddamn 1992???? I had no idea it was the OG Jafar in the Broadway Original Cast recording

I also really love the portrayal of Lust and his relationship with Fizz (I am too lazy to look up the spelling of his name). Just s’cute! And god the panic attack he had…ouch. Lol I really felt him on the thought spirals too. WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

Ngl Blitzo annoyed tf out of me at first but he really grew on me and PLEASE LET THEM BE BOYFRIENDS AND GIRL DADS OKAY

the episode of them as kids omfggggggg so goddamn CUTE

I also love Millie and Moxxie or however you spell it

Of course I was gonna that’s literally Invader Zim right there but omfg they’re so cute and I love how stupid in love they are

just nauseatingly so and in such a good way

I literally watched Hazbin for the first time like…2 or 3 weeks ago? And have been obsessed since. Alastor is my fave but Stolas from Helluva is right up there with him

I am BASIC OKAY

I actually only watched Hazbin because Spotify played some of the music for it on my daylist and I got hooked and now I’ve been listening to electro swing and I didn’t even think I liked jazz but then I realized I like a lot of jazz vocals from other stuff so it fit really well

—

~It’s all gibberish from here folks!~

I love…idk how to word it…like unique instrumentals? Which duh jazz, but I’ve never been a huge brass/band type instruments person

I played violin, strings are my fave

Except for the organ and the harpsichord omfggggg god I love me some fucking organ and harpsichord music

I am a SUPER COOL AND FUN AND EXCITING PERSON OKAY

lmaooooo

Ngl growing up going to church the organ music and hymns were my fave part

I don’t really go to church anymore, but damn if I don’t miss the music. Lord of the Dance is my fave hymn of all time and I used to get SO HYPE when we’d sing it

Communion was always the best too because we just got to sing hymns the whole time lol

If I’d stuck with church I’d def be in the choir now because I LOVED IT

One of my fave church memories was when I was a teen and they had a session where everyone got together and just sang favorite hymns

But I mostly stopped going to church because of how fucking toxic the folks at my church were (in addition to all the problematic shit about gender/sex and the rampant Christian hypocrisy etc) but it’s hard to escape church in the south

I drive 5min down one road and pass like 10 churches which is not much of an exaggeration because there is literally like one on every corner down here

Also found out the other day that the denomination I’m part of JUST removed the ban on lgbt preachers??? Didn’t realize we still had one, so that was a bummer, but hey at least they got there in the year of our lord 2024…..

Continuing on the church tangent I’ll never forget the time we had Baptists come to our door when I was in high school to try to share the good word and I told them I was Methodist and they just looked at me in borderline disgust before leaving 💀

Or the time the MORMONS CHASED ME when I was trying to go pick up food for my dog 💀💀💀

I saw them a few stores down and started power walking and they started hustling and I was just like “am I genuinely being chased by Mormons right now???” and I was!

To each their own, but I am not interested in being converted kthnx

I’ve got a lot of complicated stuff already with Methodism so I’m good on the religion front! Still consider myself Christian but don’t feel the need to harass other people about it! Or to evangelize! Or to actually go to church! But again, I live in the south so church in general is still very much present in the lives of my loved ones and nigh inescapable

Lmaooo no one is gonna read this monstrosity of a post but goddamn can you tell I didn’t take my adhd meds today and that my body has refused to sleep for like two weeks now!

So of course I’ve been having ocd spirals of “this is it, we’re an insomniac now, we’re never gonna sleep again, we’re gonna die from never sleeping again, it finally fucking happened” 🥰

Yaaaaay I need to go to bed

And HOPEFULLY SLEEP FOR ONCE

shut UP ocd 🖕

[misledyouth222]

Over My Head (Better Off Dead) - Sum 41

I am a really bad friend. Unless someone’s in front of me all the time, my follow through is non-existent.

I met probably my bestest friend that I’ll have ever had in my entire life freshman year of high school. We hit it off right away - she was a friend of a friend, and we very quickly squashed the mutual friend and were basically inseparable. We had almost everything in common (my musical tastes leaned more hardcore and pop punk, hers more radio rock that was popular in the early 00s), shared the same insecurities. We were both introverts who stayed home all weekend and watched Invader Zim together in the phone.

We ended up dating another set of best friends junior year. I had a huge thing for mine for the entire year before, and during the summer started hanging out more and things fell into place. His best friend went to a different school, and they became closer and things fell into place. That summer && the following months were a blast. The four of us did (almost) everything together. My parents with their strict af outlook on parenting, I did miss out on a lot when they would hang out just the three of them, but I was used to it, and always got the recap of the idiot things they did.

While me and my boyfriend broke up by Christmas, she and her boyfriend went strong af. We were all still friends though, I just wasn’t “his girlfriend anymore” (literally nothing else changed, I slept with him constantly for the next two years). We went on our senior beach trip together. The first time I got drunk off margaritas was with them, at her older brothers house who supplied us our supplies.

We graduated, and spent the summer hanging out. I was going one place - she was going another. She and her boyfriend came over the night before I left, and as much of a happy face as I put on, I was so sad to be leaving her behind.

Her mom passed around spring break. I had already planned a trip to go to the other coast with my ***~^stupid ab*s*ve boyfriend who cut me off from all my friends I went to college with~~^***, and knew I couldn’t make it. I was devastated I couldn’t be there for her, but there was no way to cancel this stupid fucking trip without a huge blowout argument, full of threats that I’d be all by myself without him (bc he drove all of my friends off).

Things weren’t the same after that. I didn’t have a car, so that summer was spent in my childhood bedroom, talking to no one bc I had no one left. I didn’t know how to talk to her again without feeling a huge load of guilt on my shoulders, and she didn’t call. We kept up through social media, but never really hung out again.

She got married to her high school sweetheart on their 10th anniversary, in the summer. I hadn’t seen them in so long, and had just finally rid my life of the ^**~~fkface!**~, and was determined to make this friendship work again. I was an adult. I had a car. They didn’t live that far away.

I didn’t talk to her again until our very lame (I cannot believe I even went to this goddamn thing) 10 year high school reunion. She texted me, asking if I was going (of course we still had the same numbers from high school), and I told her I was on the fence but would if she did. We went, it was the lamest thing I’ve ever participated in. They met my now husband, and really liked him. We reminisced about high school, like the time we played strip poker on vacation, and the time her husband gave us a fashion show in some skirt he found lying around the house. We promised to keep in better touch. She went home, I went home.

Out of sight, out of mind.

I haven’t talked to her since, it’s almost been another 10 years. We keep up on social media still - she’s a nurse now, and looks so happy with her nurse friends and they go on fun, adult adventures like baby showers and bridal things. I go on juvenile adventures with my husband and right here friends, and we double-tap each other’s posts.

My best friend in the world is a stranger now. I was convinced that we’d be friends 4eva, be each other’s maids of honor at our weddings, act stupid and do stupid shit together until we were old and gray and senile.

I know that I can reach out, god knows she’s still got the same number from high school (as do I). But I feel an overwhelming feeling of sadness, because I didn’t keep my end of the bargain up. Sure, she didn’t either, but in a way it was my turn to start again, throw the feelers out, reach out more. It was me who said, and I quote, “I fucking miss you, let’s do this more often, not under the guise of a lame ass high school reunion.”

I don’t know if she misses my friendship as much as I do. Probably not, as most normal folks move on with their lives, and I have the said trait I inherited from my mother of constantly thinking over the past, wondering what would have happened if this went this way, or that went that way. I wish this was the only example of my shitty friend-ness, but it’s more of a beginning of a sad road of scorched earth I’ve left behind.

If she texted me tomorrow, I’d be there in a goddamn heartbeat. ❣️

(I had to edit the fuck outta this entry. I did not know my life was so ~*ScAnDaLoUs*~)

[twerkinirken]

Deep inhale and cracks knuckles

Okay two things

MEMBRANE PARENTIFIES GAZ

GAZ LOVES MEMBRANE WAY MORE THEN DIB DOES (Hear me out)

(Also I’m going to leave potential gender issues out of this theory because Membrane is a lot of things but I think he’s too scientific to be sexist/racist/trans/homophobic etc)

First point: Gaz is severely parentified and parentification usually only goes two ways, one extreme or the other and sometimes even both but almost never in between. Gaz’s resentment comes from the fact that she is often put in charge of wrangling Dib. She doesn’t get the chance to have a regular sibling rivalry because she is Dib’s keeper, and unfortunately her father is the most famous man in the world so she’s also explicitly in charge of making sure Dib doesn’t embarrass Membrane. She literally has the weight of the world on her shoulders. She’s put in charge of protecting her fathers reputation from his ‘problem child’. How can they have a chance to have a good bond as of now where Gaz, a baby, is in charge of another baby.

Dib is also parentified like when he had to take Gaz to the mall at midnight and that’s the ONE gender point I’ll make like yeah fair don’t let your 9-10 year old daughter go out at midnight alone but the mental gymnastics of making his 10-11 year old son go instead of HIM ofnfkgkdkf

ANYWAY

Point two:

Again with neglect there is usually two polar opposite reactions to neglect but obviously this is much more flexible and these opposites do tend to be gendered I will admit but again flexible.

Dib while neglected does thrive without supervision. It’s very possible this is because he knows his Dad doesn’t accept his beliefs and hobbies so he’s fine on his own, doing his own thing. Yes he desperately craves Membrane’s approval and obviously he wants his Dad to be around more and accept him BUT he’s happy doing his own thing and willing and ready to challenge Membrane when he wants to persue his own goals.

Gaz on the other hand. She desperately wants Membrane’s attention and love. She does every single thing he says without question. Even in the original Invader Zim bible Gaz’s artistic side was expanded on and said she made creepy art and sculpture things FOR Membrane. But what is 90% of their conversations about in the precious few moments they are together and his focus is on her?

Dib

And of course she’s not going to see the facts that Membrane is a piece of shit in canon, she’s going to direct her anger at Dib, the perceived cause of her problems. The SINGLE time Membrane and Gaz spent time together was after he literally turned her into a media freak and put her through experiments. I can only imagine the conversation went one way:

“To make up for all my horrifying experiments on you, you may choose one activity for us to do together!”

“Get the new pizza right now/without Dib”

Membrane always actively and aggressively enforces family time though rare as it may be, to the point where he didn’t give the world fucking clean energy because Dib wasn’t there and because he was petty as fuck when he thought he was insulted lmao he also has actively told Gaz family time would be canceled without Dib and it was straight up said this event was a one time a year thing. So of course Gaz isn’t going to blame Membrane for being a neglectful parent. She’s a child, her logic is that Dib is to blame.

There’s also two ways I could interpret Membrane constantly going on about Dib following his footsteps.

The obvious being Dib is the exact clone of Membrane, my theory is while Dib is an exact copy Gaz is slightly altered to be a girl, but still used with only his DNA because he wanted to see if he could do it. Even if you don’t subscribe to the clone thing, it’s the same situation that Dib is the first born so first in line to take over.

But honestly a more interesting theory is that Gaz is the golden child who will do whatever she’s told, Membrane KNOWS that. He knows that as soon as he says ‘Gaz time to take over my company with your brother’ she will, no questions asked. She’s even shown scientific prowess with robotics. Membrane doesn’t even need to worry about pushing her because he knows she’ll do it so it goes unstated to him.

While he knows it’s going to be a task to make Dib take over so that’s where his focus is. Maybe he does fully intend both his children take his legacy but he knows he’s going to have to convince Dib, so in Membrane’s mind he doesn’t have to tend to Gaz, focus on her or even talk to her because he knows she’s not going to fight his decision.

Which is so incredibly cruel because Gaz desperately loves him, and she’s doing every single thing right yet she gets zero praise. All of Membrane’s attention is on Dib because he’s the problem child and she’s the golden child and that’s so unfair to her. I do believe Gaz and Dib are going to get closer when they are older and Gaz is going to realise one day Membrane treated her so badly and it’s going to break her and that’s where Dib steps in and they truly become proper siblings.

I feel like we don't talk enough about how Gaz is also a victim of Membrane's neglect and how that affects her sibling rivalry with Dib.

Like, I think because Dib is the deuteragonist of the show and Gaz is a supporting character it's easier to focus on analyzing him and everything going on in his life that influences his maladjusted behavior. But not a lot of people talk as much about why Gaz is the way she is. Why are her main emotions apathy and anger? Why is she the only other kid at skool besides Dib and Zim with no friends to hang out with at lunch or recess? Why are her revenges against Dib over things like cereal and pizza so over-the-top? Why does she purposefully try to destroy all human life and then get mad when it doesn't work?

Some of Gaz's behaviors have a pretty clear-cut cause and effect. She and Dib don't get to spend much time with their dad, so she gets upset when Dib's actions threaten their time together. Dib is also selfish and inconsiderate of Gaz, frequently stealing her food or talking her ear off about stuff she doesn't care about and expecting her to take an interest while never asking about her hobbies.

But I think some of her hostility toward Dib and general sour attitude can also be explained by Membrane's unequal treatment.

I've seen elsewhere that some people think Membrane favors Gaz because she's his "normal" child. He actually respects her gaming hobby and doesn't treat it like a phase she needs to grow out of. He doesn't talk down to her or try to push her into giving up something she loves in order to win his approval. Where Dib is constantly arguing with his dad about the legitimacy of his version of science, he and Gaz seem to have an easy rapport free of that kind of tension.

But is Membrane's behavior toward Gaz really a sign of favoritism, or just a different form of neglect?

The main conflict between Dib and Membrane stems from Membrane wanting Dib to be his successor. In Chickenfoot he specifically calls Dib "the future of the Membrane Empire", against Dib's wishes. In Mopiness of Doom, he and Dib finally bond when Dib decides to temporarily give up paranormal science and assist him with "real science". And supposedly, part of Eric Trueheart's clone Dib concept was that Membrane engineered Dib specifically to carry on his legacy.

But all of this begs the question, where does Gaz fit into Membrane's grand designs? Is she just the spare? She's just as smart, if not smarter than Dib, but we never see any indication that Membrane's trying to push her toward a career in science the way he is with Dib. It's one thing for him to not be bothered about her gaming hobby because it's not "disreputable", but there's no indication that Gaz has anymore interest in becoming a "real" scientist than Dib. So does Membrane just assume that since she's never shown any other ambitions she'll just fall straight down the path that's already been laid out for her, or does he just not care what she does with her life because he's only focused on living vicariously through Dib?

We don't know exactly how Membrane views his kids, but it's easy to see how a little girl might come to some pretty negative conclusions about what her status is in her father's eyes. Even if it's not true, Gaz might very well believe that he favors Dib. That despite Dib rejecting the legacy she was never considered for, despite him constantly getting into trouble and being weird and annoying and embarrassing, and putting his stupid hobbies ahead of their family, their dad doesn't give up on him as a lost cause. Even when he has another perfectly good child who mostly behaves herself and stays out of trouble, would never try to upstage him or ruin an important moment for him, who appreciates what little time they have together and would never jeopardize it by running off to play with some stupid alien, and who's just as smart and capable and not a weirdo paranormal-obsessed freak, Membrane still wants Dib to be his successor and not her.

Not only does this add more layers to her contempt for Dib, it could also explain her apathy and misanthropy. If her dad doesn't care about her, why should she care about anything? If he isn't concerned with her future, why should she concern herself with anything other than the immediate gratification of video games and pizza? Her dad and her brother both think their work is so much more important than spending quality time with her or talking about anything other than their "important work" whenever they're together. They both think they're saving the world, but they're either too blindly optimistic or too egotistical to realize that the slack-jawed idiots populating the planet are beyond salvation. But maybe if there was no humanity left for them to save, no heroic ambitions to fulfill, they'd finally treat her like someone worth paying attention too.

[zifey]

zimworu for my crossover au !

i’d like to imagine that zim would show up a little earlier than actual kaworu and would be much more like manga kaworu (cuz that’s who i usually compare him to anyway LMAO), the second impact was likely caused by him fucking with something on the armada and accidentally crashing it into earth, and then the tallest (as seele) got super pissed at him (cuz it fucked up the ship and it’s course, not that they care about humans) so they created a plan to get zim executed by the inhabitants, over the course of a few years they convinced zim that they WERENT pissed at him while they secretly sent various attacks to earth in hope that humans would start to revolt, and when they did they told zim they had a SPECIAL mission for him and that it was for him to go down and be a spy and take over earth in his shitty little disguise (so that someone would realize he’s an irken and kill him, considering they’ve been attacking earth for years) andddd little do they know these r invader zim civilians we are talking about so everyone is stupid n doesn’t realize except for dib of course

the tallest in this au seem to have a lot of time on their hands i know LOL they’re just tryna have fun with his “execution”

not z*dr btw

[random-iz-stuff]

My thoughts on ZADR:

I’m completely neutral on it. I don’t hate it, I don’t mind seeing it, but I also don’t actively ship it (although this is mostly because I like the idea of Zim being aroace and not because I dislike the ship itself). And here’s why.

DISCLAIMER! VERY BIG DISCLAIMER!

I am not a proshiper. If you ship pedophilic or incestuous shit, you will get no defence here. Get lost and don’t come back. I’ve seen enough shit in other fandoms already.

I’m saying this because ZADR is believed by many to be a proship, which is why many people dislike it. When in reality, ZADR isn’t a proship and I explain why in this post.

I just wanted to say this to reiterate that I am not a proshiper, nor do I condone proshiping. I’m constantly paranoid about people getting the wrong idea or misinterpreting me and really want to avoid that. I’m not looking for drama or a fight. That being said, if you ship pedophilic stuff, incestuous stuff, beastiality or any of that horrible stuff, get the fuck off my blog. You aren’t welcome here.

DISCLAIMER OVER!

Now onto why ZADR (and other ships involving irkens) isn’t a proship or anything really worth throwing a fit over.

Dib is canonically 12 years old. That’s a fact. But the thing is, while Dib has a canonical age, Zim doesn’t, and never will. Zim’s age is up to viewer interpretation.

Zim’s age, despite what many people believe, isn’t set in stone.

Zim’s age was never mentioned in canon. In fact, not a single irken has ever had their age revealed.

The wiki seems to have pulled the “Zim is 160 in human years and 16 in irken years” fact out of its ass because I can’t find a source for it anywhere, plus the wiki has a tendency to make stuff up and present it as fact with no evidence. So it isn’t a reliable source of information in any way.

Jhonen has stated Zim’s age three different times (that I know of), and he’s changed his answer every time, calling Zim a child, an adult and a teenager. So he obviously doesn’t have a clue of what Zim’s age is and most likely never really meant to give Zim a canonical age in the first place when he created the show. So not even the creator of the show himself is a reliable source of information when it comes to Zim’s age.

Although Zim’s age is never explicitly mentioned, we get some possible small hints in canon. HOWEVER, these hints all contradict each other and can go either way in proving that Zim is a child or an adult.

Zim could be an adult because he has a high ranking military job that seems impossible for a child to achieve (an invader, at least before his first banishment) plus he worked as a scientist before, so he’s held multiple adult jobs. He also seems to be the same height as other (presumably) adult irkens. He also has a long history involving his scientist job, his joining of the military and his entire work up the military hierarchy to become an invader, plus his banishment to Foodcourtia, which probably all happened over a long course of time. He’s also allowed to pilot a ship and other various vehicles, which, assuming that irkens follow the same sort of rules for ships as we do for cars, shouldn’t be given to children. It’s also revealed in The Trial that irkens can live for several centuries.

But on the other hand, Zim could very easily be a child or a teenager because the empire may use child soldiers, which does have some possible evidence like Smeets graduating at the age of 10, irken military equipment seeming similar to video games and the fact that the irken empire is a power hungry dictatorship. It would also explain why Zim chose to infiltrate Earth by posing as a human child attending a human school, along with the immaturity and pettiness that Zim shows throughout the series. Not to mention the fact that Zim is directly implied to be particularly young by irken standards, with the Tallest mentioning in The Trial that Zim is supposed to have a trial in several centuries, but they chose to force it to happen now, implying that Zim hasn’t hit the age where a trial usually happens, which is presumably adulthood or later. Zim being a child or a teenager also explains why the Tallest are so immature, as they are the same age as Zim, so if he’s not an adult but is instead a child/teenager, the Tallest are as well.

So the evidence goes both ways. Zim’s age is entirely up to viewer interpretation. If you believe that Zim is an adult, he’s an adult. If you believe that he’s a child, he’s a child. If you believe that he’s a teenager, he’s a teenager. Zim’s age is a literal question mark, and unless new, official content is released that explicitly confirms Zim’s age, that’s not going to change. As mentioned before, Jhonen Vazquez, despite being the creator of the show, isn’t a reliable source because he’s contradicted himself at least three times now and doesn’t seem to have given Zim (or any irken for that matter) a canonical age in the first place.

And going by those rules when you look at ZADR, you quickly realize that the entire dynamic of ZADR and every other ship involving irkens in any way also depends entirely on viewer interpretation. If you interpret Zim as being a child that’s a similar age to Dib, he’s a child that’s a similar age to Dib. If you interpret Zim as being an adult, he’s an adult. Zim’s age is a blank space that you can fill out however you want.

ZADR is only a pedophilic proship between a child and an adult if you believe that it is a ship between a child and an adult and/or you actively make it that way when making the content, because Zim’s age is whatever you say it is. A random number generator could be used to decide Zim’s age and it would be equally canon as everyone else’s opinions regarding Zim’s age, including the words of Jhonen himself.

So long story short, ZADR isn’t a problematic ship unless you make it a problematic ship or it is explicitly mentioned to be a problematic ship in whatever work of fiction you’re seeing it in. So just don’t make a big deal of it and ignore it if you don’t like it.

[refried-ghost]

It happened a little before they'd became elites. They were bonafide irken soldiers. And there group began to splinter. Purple and Skoodge had a fight about Zim. Zee left everyone in her dust, being noticed by someone important and rush into invader training. Purple wasn't ever really close to Tenn, but Red was. But again he had that sad boy bullshit going on like always.

Sure they were friends now, pretty close ones too but he always felt a sort of hostility from his bunk mate. Zim was around of course, but Purple really wished he wasn't. Especially since Skoodge chose him over himself. It- it was a stupid thing for him to bring up.

He was lost in thoughts like these as he maintain his unlawfully modified blaster. He'd named it. He named most of his weapons.

Something plopped down beside him on the bed. He jumped nearly flinging the weapon across the room. Red was quick to grab it though.

Purple breathed deeply as he tried to calmed himself, "What the fuck? Why would you do that?"

Red chuckled quietly.

Purple punched him in the arm. "Don't laugh! You seriously could have mess up Muzz." He pulled Muzz away from Red and quickly put it back together. Then hid it way.

"S-so, Pur I've been, uh-" he nervously tapped one of his palms with his claws. A substitute for his tick, but also something he did when he was trying to calm his stutter. "I've been thinking..." He got more frustrated with ever fumble. It was almost certainly worsening the stutter. Purple didn't point it out.

"You do that?" Despite his high collar covering his mouth, Pur could tell he was frowning further. Red punched him back not so gently.

"Yeah. I do that... " He trailed off.

"What about?"

Red squirmed avoiding his gaze. He pulled down his collar.

To be honest Purple liked the scar. Zim did too. It was cool. He always wanted to touch it. He knew better then to ask. He knew it was a huge sore spot for Red. How he blamed it for his stutter and the paranoia. Totally wasn't the trauma of being attacked like that while so young and small. But it was always a treat to see.

Red squirmed, going between looking Purple in the eyes, around the room and he wasn't quite sure but he thought his gaze lingered on other parts of him. But it was hard to tell with him. Red could just as easily be looking through him then looking at him.

Purple sighed looking away. He knew Red hated it when people stared. He didn't want him to go back to covering his face.

But as he did a hand slipped behind his head. Red was instantly hovering over his lap. His other hand adjusted the angle of his head. And with eyes tightly shut he kissed him.

As soon as it happened it ended, Red's eyes went wide and he scrambled quickly away. As if the kiss had been stolen from him instead. He paled and bolted all before Purple had any sort of chance to react.

His face exploded with heat. Phantom weight lingered on him. He could still feel the texture of his scar, his impossibly soft lips on his own rough ones.

Purple covered his face and fell back on his bed with a squeak.

Fuck, he really wanted to touch that scar now.

[positively--speculative]

I want to elaborate on what I mean when I say that it feels like we are living in an Invader Zim episode.

In the very first episode of this show, we are introduced mainly to the two characters who will be at odds for the entirety of the show's run--Zim and Dib. Along with this, we are given a good idea of the kind of people Dib is surrounded by--blissfully ignorant doormats. Dib is an eccentric kid (he's a paranormal enthusiast), but he's easily the only smart kid in his class. When Zim is introduced to the class, Dib is the only one who recognizes that he is a space alien...but that's not even an impressive feat since Zim's disguise is terrible and does little to nothing to hide his non-human characteristics. Of course, when Dib points this out to the class, Zim gaslights him and everyone just agrees that Dib is bullying the new kid and is just weird because of his interests in the paranormal. As the show progresses, it becomes clear that Dib is quite unpopular because he doesn't conform to the standards of society like his classmates do, which to them, makes him non-credible. They would rather believe that Zim has no ears and green skin because of a "condition" than entertain the idea that Dib (who is using the most basic common sense) might be right.

And the way I see so many people defend the likes of Johnny Depp, Marilyn Manson, and Elon Musk despite the fact that none of them are good people makes me feel like the world is becoming dangerously close to one created for a fucking comedy show.

[harveybwabbit92]

Invader Zim: Elite Guardians AU Pt. 2

The following is a non-profit fan-based story, Invader ZiM  is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon please support the official release, I gain no profit nor do I own anything other than OCs and whatever spouts from my imagination!

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A another month passed Zim started looking less like wrinkled worm and more like an Irken, Red and Purple were running low on money, Repairing the cruiser was getting more difficult, whenever they fixed something, another thing would break or scavengers would sneak in and take whatever wasn't bolted down, that's when the Elites came to the conclusion that maybe they should look for work. So they started bounty hunting for the local constabulary.

What choice did they have? if they were ever gonna get off this rock and find Cradle 2-117. Bounty hunting was the way to go, The Cruiser was a lost beyond repair, but there were a lot of ships for sale in Meeko; the problem was finding who was willing to sell a ship to them, The citizens were still cold towards them, Again. Neither Red and Purple could understand why? They soon got answer in the most unconventional way, they'd come back from a job, Some nut job thought it was good splice a giant spider with a squid and than super sizing it!

Red was shooting the thing with his Plasma gun while Purple striking it with his photon axe, meanwhile Zim was happily skipping around the battlefield, narrowly missing being crushed or shot at, Red noticed the smeet hopping around. "Zim! get out of the way!" Red dodges a tentacle swinging for him. "You're gonna get hurt!" He barked the smeet just stared at him blankly before smiling "Rwed!" he cheered waving at him, Red facepalmed. "Hi!" he waved back before going back to fighting, Zim went back to his little skipping game dodging death at every corner, only stopping when he saw a large beetle crawling around on the sand, the smeet crouched down just as Purple was thrown off the Squider and sent crashing into the wall behind Zim.

The purple eyed elite sat up with a groan; rubbing his head looked at Zim and did a double take when he saw the smeet eating a beetle, Purple jumped to his feet rushed over to the smeet trying to pry his mouth open. "Naw, no, no. Spit it out, spit out! c'mon!" he lightly slapped Zim's back and the smeet spat up bug guts Purple grimaced. "Disgusting!" he huffed giving the smeet some ration wafers and went back to helping Red fight, Zim calmly sat out of the way to eat and watch his 'Brothers' fight the monster, by the end of the battle Red and Purple were covered in ink and teal colored guts, and their wallets were a good chunk heavier, when they woke up this morning...

Later when they got back to the cruiser both Red felt something was off, there was scent in the air he didn't recognize at first he thought it was the Squider guts, but as they got closer to their wreck... it became more apparent that someone or something was in there, Purple noticed it too he and Red exchanged a look; the red clad elite set Zim down and shush him, the smeet copied him and nodded, Purple dispatched his PAK legs and went in from above while Red followed and hid in the doorway of the engine room, his first thought was it was just another scavenger looking for scrap, but by now everyone nearby knew this ship was occupied and stayed clear of it, Red peeked into the engine room and saw a hooded figure fidgeting around with the power core. 

Red's eyes narrowed as he tried to get a better look and saw this person reading off what looked like an engineering manual, he saw Purple getting into position, they could hear this person mumbling to themselves. "Okay... now shut down switch Y and detach port Q?...wait no, um..." the guards looked at each other and nodded, Purple jumped from the ceiling; landing in front of the intruder catching them completely off guard. "What the fu-" they saw the purple eyed Irken reach for a his stunned baton and panicked. "Shite!" they yelped and went to run only to get pistol whipped from behind by Red knocking them out. 

Red and Purple were perplexed when they tied them up removed the intruders hood and made sure they didn't have weapons, they've never seen an alien like them before...  they had this weird long stringy stuff on their head that was soft to the touch, but stood out out most of all was how tall they were... Both Irkens just barely came up to the intruder's chin. "Whoa! They're almost the same height as Tallest Miyuki!" Purple said stunned while Red shook his head. "No... Miyuki is definitely taller..." he insisted but then again they haven't seen Tallest Miyuki in months! So they couldn't exactly make a comparison.

While the two were prattled about Miyuki and the intruder's heights, neither noticed Zim wander in the smeet looked between the bickering Elites before noticing the stranger sitting against the wall. His pink eyes lit up as he curiously approached the unconscious alien, He saw the long fuzzy stuff on their head and immediately grabbed it and started tugging which roused the trespasser awake.

Red and Purple tenses at the unknown voice cut into their conversation they looked and saw Zim swinging off the alien's... mane? "Ow..ow! quit it! They try to jerked their head away from Zim's grasp. "Oww, Seriously kid stop it!" They growled Red snapped out of his stupor and quickly picked up Zim. "Don't talk to him like that!" He spat glaring at the intruder, who glared back their e/c eyes looked odd too, but Red was more focused on whether or not they were a threat or not.

"Who are you? What are you?" he huffed along with Purple butting in. "And why do you want our power core?" the alien winced a the purple one's shrill voice. " if I tell you will you untie me?" they asked hopeful, the Irkens were silent, and the intruder took their silence as a hard "maybe."

"My name is Y/n, I’m a human female, My ship crashed few clicks north from here, the power core was always little spotty, and it finally gave up the ghost. So I went out looking for a replacement, looked around Meeko and other crash sites, before finding a power signal that lead me to... I thought it was it was a derelict ship!"

"Does this ship derelict look to you?!"

"Well... yeah? I mean look around, your ship is in pieces! it'll obviously never fly again, I'm surprised your core was even intact!"

"How did you even get in? we have security measures!"

Y/n looked bemused before something clicked in her head, she cocked her head towards the front of the ship. "Oh! the giant hole in your hull, with the lasers and forcefield? yeah, I think your motion sensors and hard light generator is offline, I walked right through it" Purple looked like he was going to cry seeing as he was the one who rigged that forcefield up. " that and your front door was wi... was.." Your voice suddenly trailed off, Red and Purple watched your demeanor change as something caught your eye, it took a moment for Red to notice you were staring at the Irken symbol on their armor.

"Shite... You slaver scum!" both Irkens jumped back startled by your sudden outburst. "What are you planning to do with that kid?! huh? did you kidnap him too?" You growled Red and Purple looked at each other stunned. "What are you talking about?" Red asked you just glared him in disgust. "Don't play fucking coy with me! I’ve seen your damn ship going around ransacking outposts around the system and kidnapping people!" Red and Purple were at loss here, 2-117 was overtaken by Slavers? well, at least now they knew why almost everyone on Greedo was so hostile towards them!

There was a tense stare down between the trio, You watched as the two "slavers" got into a huddle, you heard the numbers "2-117..." being mumbled then Red one was saying something the Purple one disagreed with. "No, oh no no no! We're not taking in another stray!" the purple hissed vehemently. "She's the our ticket off this rock, we're doing it!" They turned to look at you.

"What?" you hissed as the Red clad alien silently handed the kid over to his Purple counterpart who glared at him, you tensed up as he walked up to you. "Calm down and just listen alright?" Red guy explained they’re not slavers, but Elite guards from Irk sent to investigate and retrieve a missing Nursery ship called Cradle 2-117 that had been skyjacked a few months ago, the only lead they have is Zim, who Red found malnourished and wandering around in a trash dump.... Now you.

You of course were bit skeptical about this whole situation, what with being tied up and all! but, then Purple told you to take a good look at Zim, the kid was same species as them: Irken. "How many other Irkens have you seen wandering the Tarn system?" You realized never, you have never seen an Irken in Tarn before, so maybe they were telling the truth? then Purple got you attention again "Where was the last place you saw that ship?" You paused thing back to were you saw the Irken ship, it wasn’t hard to forget considering how unique it looked. 

"I think it was headed to Planet Nyree? that’s a two week journey from here." Both Irken elites looked each other hopeful, finally a real lead! "However I'd suggest getting a new ship, I don’t think this one will taking off anytime soon." They hear the ship groan as a panel falls out of the ceiling, landing a little too close to you then you'd like, Red looks at Purple whose shoulders slumped, knowing what was coming, You were confused as Red reach around behind you and untied you. "Okay! New plan, we need a ship and you need a power core, let’s make a deal..." and that's how you gained three new crew members aboard the Cardinal.