#bad friend

[kristina-del-rey]

𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝑜 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝓊𝒾𝓃 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔?

[automnelog]

people who do not know how to process their own emotions and the emotions of others, will interpret you expressing your emotions as “drama”

[mangoofthesea]

I saw a post today talking about how difficult making friends can be, as well as maintaining friendships, and as someone who has spent the last few years learning how to maintain friendships while moving a couple times and some big life events. One of the best things you can do for a friendship is organise to do THINGS.

Not just meet and talk or chat over message. Arrange to go swimming, or for a row boat ride, cook dinner together, try making clay creatures and laugh at how bad they are. Go to see a play or a singer or a waterfall.

Sit on a call together in silence while you crochet or watch something at the same time in different locations.

Or while you both draw or do dishes and say the random questions that come to mind 'do you think aliens could exist?' 'How can you tell when you're in love?' 'There’s a really cool bird out the window I think you'd like it, it's all blue and green!'

The key is to not try to keep the friendship for the sake of it, but enjoy the Person and their company

Maintaining of a friendship over time requires effort, but also acceptance that you won't speak or see each other all the time. My 3 best friends are all from different phases of life and I have had periods of months or years where I didn’t speak to them just because we had shifted how much we saw each other.

You see them when you see them, you speak when you speak, but you'll find people who with even a tiny amount of effort (a birthday gift, a card, a meme sent, a message or a gif) you can hold onto. People who mean the world to you even though you only see them a could times a year.

I once heard the phrase that friends are like stars, even when you don't see them, they're still there.

Friendships that truly mean something aren't like sitcoms or movies. Life is more complicated and people are too, don't feel bad if your friendships don't match up to what you expect, or if you can't be there all the time.

All things considered, I'm a pretty shit friend sometimes, I forget birthdays and I'm useless to get hold of sometimes. But on either side of friendships that I have, we both make enough of an effort that they're still there.

I'm going to the cinema tomorrow with a friend I've had since I was 11 (or 13 depending how we've decided to measure it that day) and I haven't seen in person in nearly a year. We're still going to have a great time.

Your friendship takes whatever form works for you, don't lose sight of the people you love cos the way you love them doens’t look like 'it's supposed to'

[vampireink]

They're not my friends

They say they're happy for me

But I see it in their eyes

They're the least happy for me

They pray for my downfall

But I won't succumb to them

I am better off alone

Where I am safe

Where I am understood.

[Kas]

[greyaugustuspoetry]

learned my lesson.

I came out barely breathing

and you came out just fine.

I guess four years of agony

gave me a lesson I had to learn

[mybelovedneitherdoyou]

At this point in my life I really don't have the time and energy for people with a victim complex. If I express an issue and you put up a fight that's IT. I am done with people who take no responsibility. You will not get an ounce of guilt out of me for standing up for myself.

[brilliantreddstella]

If someone gets mad at you for playing into a joke they made about you, it wasn't a joke. It took me years figuring that one out because I struggled with social cues, but now that I know that red flag, the second I see it, I shut down from that friendship.

[poeticrambler]

Nothing stings more then the second time

What you claimed would never happen has happened again

Taken for granted, now left behind

Abandoned for love of an unloving friend

[introvertedlass]

I just sent this to my friend who is afraid of ghosts. Can't stop laughing. I know I'm a terrible friend.

[writtenroses1813]

I think my problem with friendships is that I thought from a very young age that friendship meant that I gave parts of myself away without expecting anything in return. That maybe, if the part I gave was good enough, that stranger could love me.

Maybe that is how it works. Maybe I just have nothing left to give. I wouldn’t know.

[tinkerbitch69]

You know who I can’t stand?

People who try to tell you the motivation behind your actions because they think they know you better than you know yourself.

Fuck those guys.

[xxmyriamxx]

“Traición “

Una persona a la que le tenía mucha cercanía me ha traicionado ,es una sensación horrible ,tantos años juntos y yo estando ciega ,pensando que esa persona era legítimamente mi amiga para enterarme de que solo me estaba utilizando para subirse su ego apuñalandome por la espalda .

[lonely-purple-eyes]

maybe my friends aren't that good?

today I met my friends for the first time in 6 months and I'm exhausted

they laughed at every word I said so I just stopped talking

now I feel even more lonely than before

[mayhapsyourmom]

If you try to guilt trip me into doing something I 100% will not do it

[texaschainsawmascara]

I’m a bad friend.

Rina Sawayama

[feehippielove]

I can't seem to understand how so many people want to be loved by someone with no malicious intentions and no hidden agenda. So many people want someone that's patient, understanding, thoughtful, and someone that values them, respects them, listens to them, and truly honors the human being that they are - flaws and all.

But it seems like each time I give that to someone (platonically or romantically): they either take advantage of me or feel very comfortable disrespecting me. It hurts me to have to block people out of my life because they treated me badly when I did nothing to earn this treatment.

Don't be my friend because you want to sleep with me. Don't be my friend because you want to be in a relationship with me. Don't be my friend with alternative motives of your own. Don't be my friend to use me to fill a void within yourself that is your responsibility to fill. Don't be my friend if you are going to hold a one-sided friendship that only works in your time frame. Don't be my friend if you can't prioritize me in your life in one way or another. Don't be my friend if I'm disposable to you. Don't be my friend for any selfish reason - be my friend because you want me to be a part of your life.

Be my friend because you enjoy my conversation. Be my friend because you enjoy my energy. Be my friend because we make each other happy. Be my friend because we hold space for each other and have fun together. Be my friend for all the simple reasons that children are friends - We can share clothes, and secrets and smoke all night while watching stupid movies. Genuinely, innocently and honestly be my friend, or leave me the fuck alone.