#of her parents lives. they might say they do everything For Jyn but like. do they REALLY? galen especially

[rotzaprachim]

meta incoming but one of the most fascinating themes of rogue one and andor to me is the idea that a parent’s (individualist) love of their child might not be enough to save them from the (structural) violence of the world, so it’s fascinating how fandom managed to sail right past that in a bunch of places

[colleybri]

One of the greatest hugs in any film

Interview question: “Do you think Cassian and Jyn would have managed to connect even more due to their shared life experiences if they had even more time?”

Diego Luna: “Obviously! What a good question. I think that hug represents everything that could have been but was not and everything that was too, because that hug meant they were part of something together and I believe that union lasts forever”.

One of the single best story decisions that was made in Rogue One was this incredible hug between Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, as they await death from the blast of the Death Star.

It’s sad enough just in the context of the film. After Season 1 of Andor, it’s even more moving. I think some of us will be emotional wrecks after Season 2. 

One thing I’m starting to realise only now is how Jyn’s story, as revealed in the film (and the novelisation), reflects Cassian’s so much. She was also a child of war, displaced and effectively orphaned, adopted before being forced to embark on a new life. She had it even worse than him, in many ways. But just like him she had an early zeal to fight, which she similarly went on to lose because of the bitter pain that commitment caused. She becomes disillusioned and cynical about the Rebellion. It takes a combination of hard knocks and a resulting realisation of the desperate NEED to fight the Empire - in order to preserve all that they hold dear - to radicalise both of them to the extent that they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause.

Cassian is already in that place - he reached it five years before. But in Season 2 I expect we will see further challenges, see the desperately awful things he might have to do and what else he will need to sacrifice ahead of his actual life. Sacrifices that wear down his soul, bit by bit. Luthen’s monologue hangs over everything. “ I burn my life for a sunrise I know I’ll never see.” It’s a bitter irony that Cassian is frequently placed in sun-rising imagery, culminating in the ‘sun’ of the explosion.

Jyn, in Rogue One, seems to be the spiritual shot in the arm that Cassian needs. In the same way that being inspired by his love for Clem, Maarva and Bix helps to spur him on in the Season 1 finale (when the chances of successfully rescuing Bix must seem non-existent)  Jyn seems to me to be the crucial reminder for Cassian of why he is doing all this in the first place. Her love for her father stops him from obeying the order to kill him. He just can’t do it. He can’t put someone he is growing to care about through the same agony he went through himself.

In the end, neither can live with themselves if they don’t fight. But both of them are fighting for the right reason: love.

The hug is platonic and therefore perfect because it’s universal, in a way: we can imagine - in their final seconds - that they can both see and feel the warmth and the arms of every single person in their lives who they ever loved in any form: parents, siblings, lovers, friends. And of course they also die feeling the arms of each other - bound together by their fight and sacrifice but also an embrace with someone they might have gone on to know, and to love, if the universe had been a kinder place. 

It’s one of the most perfect and beautiful death scenes in any film I’ve seen. 

But it’s also heart-crushingly sad. 

‘What could have been’. 

…..

Edit:

I think the earlier elevator scene is where they acknowledge the loss of what they could have had together. Cassian stares at Jyn with unblinking focus but he looks like he’s dying already from his injuries, and Jyn - not yet knowing for sure that she’s about to die too - looks completely devastated. By the time they reach the beach and see the blast approaching both of them look accepting of their fate… and I imagine that they can use their final moments to internally say their spiritual goodbyes to everyone they ever loved in their lives - and to each other. They are content to die together. They are at peace as they “become one with the Force”.

….

The sand is coarse on his fingers as he tightens the embrace and closes his eyes. Her face had been that of the last being he will see, and he is at peace with that. After all, she had already started to mend his broken soul and remind him of why he was doing all this in the first place. 

Love.

She is warm against him, her grip intensifying his physical pain, and intensifying whatever is going on now in his soul. They hug as if in the hope of keeping each other whole, the hope of somehow stopping the inevitable coming-apart. Almost as if to stop time and be forever in this state of in-between.

But there is no time at all. 

So he thinks he will imagine that the light is coming from her, her bright spirit - her hot molten core - soldering and melting them into one being. 

‘I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin.’

Extract above from  ‘Dawn Chorus’ chapter 5:

Diego Luna interview:

’ I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin’ - from the song ‘Vision’ by Peter Hammill.

[sesamestreep]

stack the deck with wild cards (chapter 3)

(read on AO3)

(start from the beginning)

SUMMARY: Cassian finally learns the truth and some feelings are discussed. Emphasis on "some".

A/N: Different day, same warnings for discussions of pregnancy, unsafe sex, and abortion. See the AO3 link above for more detailed warnings, if you need them. We’re halfway there!!

Jyn sprints the entire way home to her apartment, despite the fact that she hates running. If she’s focused on how miserable she is about that, she can’t think about what a fool she just made of herself at the restaurant and keeping her mind off of that is the most important thing at the moment. With all of the winter layers she has on, she ends up drenched in sweat by the time she gets home, so she immediately takes a long, hot shower. It’s just how she deals with stress these days, apparently. She’s in there so long that it’s a wonder her roommate doesn’t bang down the door and chew her out about the water bill being high enough as it is, but she’s probably due for a small mercy at this point.

After she’s done, she heads back to her room and finds the gigantic pile of clothes waiting for her on her bed, just where she left them, and that’s enough of a reality check that she finds herself crumpling onto the floor and crying her eyes out. Stupid fucking hormones , she thinks, with her knees pulled into her chest. Stupid Reece for breaking up with her and cheating on her for months and for ruining everything. Stupid Cassian with his soft eyes and his small, understanding smiles and his punctuality and his resigned acceptance of the way she’s treated him. Stupid Jyn, with her irresponsibility and her fear of emotions and commitment and vulnerability and her dedication to always putting her faith in the wrong people and her insurmountable distrust of the right ones and her idiot uterus for picking this time with this guy to get pregnant.

When there’s no tears left, just the shaky breaths of coming down from a tantrum, she slowly counts to ten and then pushes herself back up to her feet. She tells herself that she will come up with a new plan of how to tell Cassian what’s going on in the morning—it may be immature, but at this point, a text might be her best option—and for now, all she has to do is fold her clothes and then she can go to bed.

She’s managed to re-fold about half of the pile when her phone chimes with an alert for a text message. Seeing it’s from Bodhi, she swipes the screen to open it and sees that it just says: I’m so so so so so so so so sorry, I’m so sorry . Before she can process that or ask him what he means, her phone rings and, this time, it’s Cassian.

Jyn freezes for a second before she numbly hits the button to answer the call. “Hello?”

“You’re pregnant ?”

“I—” she starts to deny it, but realization dawns before she can come up with a proper lie. “Bodhi told you,” she says, closing her eyes and trying to remember how to breathe.

“Don’t be upset with him,” Cassian replies hurriedly. “He thought I knew.”

“I’m not,” Jyn says, and tries not to read anything into his tone. “Upset with him, that is.”

“Oh. Good.”

Silence stretches between them and Jyn can’t really blame him for not knowing what to say next. She doesn’t even know what to say next, and she’s the one holding all the cards in this situation.

“Cassian?”

“I’m still here.”

“Do you want to come over?” She asks, picking at a loose thread on her comforter anxiously. It shouldn’t feel like such a big ask, but at the moment it does. “To talk, I mean.”

He exhales loudly, as if he’d been holding his breath waiting for her question. “At your place?”

“Yeah.”

“Right now?”

“If you want,” Jyn says with a shrug that he can’t see. This conversation is making her feel all of fifteen years old. She half-expects him to ask if her parents are home next.

“Okay, sure,” he replies, sounding cautious. “I could do that.”

Some part of Jyn relaxes at that, even if he doesn’t sound enthusiastic about it. Because, surely, if he hated her now, he wouldn’t come over to see her. He doesn’t even seem angry about any of this, just confused, which makes sense under the circumstances. It doesn’t have to be catastrophic; they can handle it like adults, maybe.

It takes a few more minutes of awkward discussion, but Jyn says she’ll send Cassian her address and he says he can be there in about twenty minutes and then they hang up, leaving Jyn to panic in her apartment alone. She does her best to clean up the rest of her clothes and put them back where they belong, but a significant portion of them just get dropped onto her desk chair to be dealt with later. She tries to get the living room to look like an real adult lives there, moving all the assorted cups and plates she’s left lying around into the kitchen sink and tidying up the art supplies that are strewn across every surface. She doesn’t bother changing into a cuter outfit again; Cassian knows what he’s getting into now, she reasons, and so she sticks with the leggings-and-a-sweater ensemble that is now,  apparently, her traditional outfit for telling someone she is pregnant.

The time between getting off the phone with Cassian and the buzzer signaling his arrival doesn’t exactly fly by, but the panic-induced cleaning spree does take up Jyn’s attention for a while. She’s already warned him that it was a trek from the lobby to her apartment and that there’s no elevator, so she just buzzes him in and waits by the door until she hears footsteps close by. She undoes the chain and turns over the deadbolt, swinging the door open about two seconds before Cassian appears in front of it.

“Hey,” he says, slightly out of breath, and, for all Jyn saw him just an hour ago, her heart still stutters at the sight of him.

“Hi,” she says, still at a loss for how to have this conversation, despite the ample time she’s had to worry about it. They obviously can’t have it in the doorway, though, so she steps aside while gesturing into the apartment. “Come inside,” she adds, awkwardly.

Cassian steps past her and his face takes on the expression of someone trying not to seem nosy while his eyes nonetheless take in the entire room. It makes sense that he’d be interested—they hooked up at his place, so he’s never actually been here before, and she’d been the same way with his bedroom, scanning everything and hoping to learn more about him from it—but Jyn can’t help but worry that he’ll find something she doesn’t want him to know about her. Then again, that’s always how she feels with him, like her carefully designed defenses are useless against his perceptiveness. Like she’s giving herself away with everything she does.

“I can take your coat, if you want,” she says, just for something to do. If it distracts him from whatever he’s learning about her from her messy apartment, that’s good too. She holds out a hand for it, feeling ridiculous but not willing to bail on the impulse now.

“Oh,” Cassian says, as if his mind had been elsewhere. He moves to unzip his jacket, but a brown paper bag he’s carrying that Jyn hadn’t noticed when he first came in impedes him. “Can you actually—?” He asks, gesturing at her with the bag.

Jyn reaches for it immediately, relieved to have something to do with her hands. “Yes, sure,” she says, solemnly, as if taking this bag from him is the most important task in the history of the universe. He’s halfway out of his jacket when she thinks to ask, “what is this, anyway?”

“Oh,” he says again, pulling his arm out of a sleeve. “It’s dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah,” he says, as if this requires no further explanation. When Jyn just blinks at him in response, though, he seems to realize he needs to elaborate. “You didn’t get to eat earlier.”

“Right, so this is—?”

“Dinner,” Cassian replies, slowly, as if it’s not a word she’s heard before, which it may as well not be, given how much difficulty she’s having understanding him. “You told me what you were going to order earlier, so I thought—”

“Sorry, you went back to the restaurant?” Jyn asks, disbelieving. “To get me dinner?”

“Yes,” he says, carefully, like he thinks he might be in trouble.

“You went back to pick up dinner after I humiliated myself and left you there for no reason and lied to you?” She asks, and she can tell from the waver in her voice that she's about to embarrass herself again.

“You didn’t do any of that, Jyn,” he says, patiently, and that’s all it takes to make her cry again, apparently, which rightfully freaks him out. “If I did something wrong—” he starts to say, reaching out for her.

“No, no. Not at all,” Jyn says, wiping at her eyes in what turns out to be a futile gesture; trying to hide her tears just makes her more embarrassed and that makes her cry even more. “You’re being way too nice to me. I don’t deserve this.”

Cassian shrugs. “Everyone deserves dinner,” he says, like it’s really as simple as that. “I really didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t. I mean, I’m fine,” she replies, not sounding convincing at all judging by Cassian’s reaction. She sniffles and tries again. “Really, I am. It’s just these damn hormones.”

“Right,” he says, gesturing vaguely as if the hormones are in the air somehow. He takes a deep, steadying breath before he speaks again. “So, you’re pregnant…”

Jyn tilts her head in the direction of the living room. “Come on, let’s sit down to talk about this.”

Cassian lets her lead the way and cautiously takes a seat in the armchair once he sees Jyn settle on the couch. She can’t tell if this distance is for his sake or for hers, but it doesn’t feel like a good sign either way. It also brings to mind the conversation she had with Bodhi, with them in the exact same positions. She can only hope this one will go even half as well.

After a few moments of silence, Cassian clears his throat awkwardly. “So…?”

Jyn laughs before she can stop herself, not because she’s genuinely amused but just because she cannot believe this is a real thing that’s happening to her. “Right,” she says. “I guess I have to do the talking here.”

Cassian nods, but speaks anyway. “All Bodhi told me was that you were pregnant,” he says. “He thought you’d already told me when he heard we’d gone to dinner—”

“I was planning to tell you then, but I…”

“You what?”

Jyn takes a deep breath and stares at her hands where they’re gripping her knees. “I chickened out,” she says, to her hands.

“Why?”

“I just—you were talking to that kid at the next table and you said you couldn’t wait to have little ones running around and I didn’t want to tell you I was pregnant and deal with the disappointment when I told you I wasn’t going to keep it.”

Cassian closes his eyes, looking pained, and Jyn readies herself for the oncoming argument. Instead of yelling at her, though, Cassian just groans and rubs his forehead.

“Oh, god,” he says, “if I’d known you were—”

“You couldn’t have!” She hurries to say. “How could you have known?”

“I know, but still.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting kids! I just...don’t.”

“Neither do I,” Cassian says, in a rush, and Jyn feels like she forgets how to breathe for a second.

She shakes her head. “You don’t have to say that to make me feel better,” she says, feeling oddly hurt by the very idea of it. Reece had been pretty ambivalent about the whole issue, but she’s had other exes who insisted she would change her mind and it made her wary of bringing the subject of kids up with anyone. She might very well change her mind someday , but she feels comfortable saying she doesn’t want children now . That way, no one she dates gets disappointed later on when she doesn’t change her mind.

“I’m not,” Cassian says, in the here and now. “I mean it.”

“Cassian, you work with children in the foster care system. You love kids! And you told me an hour ago that you can’t wait to have a bunch of them!”

“My sister is pregnant,” he says, cutting in before she can keep going. “That’s what I was talking about. She told the whole family when we were all home for Christmas. And you’re right: I do love kids. But I think being an uncle will be enough for me.”

Jyn’s entire mouth has gone dry, so forming words is a little difficult at the moment. She’d been so sure that he would want kids of his own, even if he didn’t want this one with her right now. Without even realizing it, she’d put it on the list of reasons why she absolutely couldn’t date Cassian Andor; because he’s the sort of guy who will want a family someday and she’s not the sort of girl who could give that to him. Well, on a purely biological level, apparently she’s extremely capable of it, but on an emotional level, not so much. The point is, hearing him say that he doesn’t want kids feels like it shatters her entire worldview.

Cassian, however, doesn’t seem to realize her silence is the result of any emotional upheaval and takes it instead as an invitation to keep talking. “And even if I did want kids, I’m definitely not ready to have them now,” he says, leaning in closer to her as if to emphasize his sincerity. “And even if I was ready, it’s not my decision.”

“Really?” Jyn asks, finding enough confidence to be incredulous.

“Really,” he says, earnestly and, if she’s not mistaken, a little defensively. “I couldn’t ask someone to carry a child they didn’t want for nine months just because I wanted it.”

She likes that he keeps it theoretical like that, as if they’re talking about a fictional pregnancy and not a real one. He doesn’t even mention her specifically. He’s talking about some other future woman, one who wouldn’t abandon him at a restaurant because she couldn’t have an adult conversation. It’s another reason—one he’s too polite to mention—that this pregnancy can’t go forward: they’re not together and they never could be. She’s just not relationship material.

“But, to be clear,” she says, “you don’t want it?”

“No,” he says, immediately and firmly, which reassures her but makes him wince. “I mean, you don’t either, right?”

“What? No!”

“I just wanted to be sure,” he says, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. “Because I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”

“I’m not having a baby,” Jyn says, just as firmly. “I don’t want one and I’d be a terrible mother, so...it’s just not happening.”

“I don’t think you’d be—” Cassian starts to say but she cuts him off with a look. He puts up his hands, as though he’s surrendering. “Right. You don’t need my reassurance on this, I get it.”

Jyn narrows her eyes at him, even as she leans back against the couch cushions. “You’re being remarkably understanding about all of this,” she says, warily.

“Sorry, did you want me to be an asshole about it?” He snaps, and then clearly regrets it. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“You’re fine, Cassian. I’m relieved, honestly, to see you have a real emotion about something.”

He laughs at that, but there’s no joy to it and Jyn realizes belatedly that she’s actually hurt his feelings.

“Yes, I know it’s a rare thing with me,” he says, looking down at his shoes.

“I’m sorry,” she says, leaning forward but stopping short of reaching for him. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know what you meant.”

“No, you don’t.” She takes a deep breath, before she goes on. “I just prepared so much for the worst case scenario, where you got angry with me and called me selfish for not wanting this baby and, well, all sorts of other terrible things, that I guess I don’t know what to do now that you’re here and you’re being really...lovely about it.”

Cassian laughs again, though there’s some actual good humor to it this time. “Lovely, huh?”

“Yes,” Jyn replies, refusing to be embarrassed of her word choice. “You brought me dinner and you’re being so understanding and patient about all of this. You’re not even mad that I thought you were going to be awful about it.”

“Believe me, I’m familiar with catastrophizing,” he says, sardonically. “I love a good worst case scenario.”

Jyn smiles at that. “I just want to make sure you’re being honest with me about how you feel,” she says, ignoring the irony of those words coming from her, the queen of denial.

Cassian, for his part, looks completely thrown by this. “How I feel?” He asks, baffled. “Jyn, you’re the one who’s pregnant. How I feel is irrelevant.”

“That’s not true. You can still have feelings about it! And while it’s not precisely a secret, and I know it’s not like you and I are super close, it’s still mostly a thing just between us and I guess I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

He nods, absently, but seems to be giving the question real thought. “I think I am,” he finally says, and somehow his uncertainty goes a long way in making Jyn trust what he’s saying. “I grew up in the sort of family where we didn’t talk about these kinds of things, you know? That is, until you got your first girlfriend and then everyone was saying you’d better not try anything because if she gets pregnant, you’re gonna have to marry her, you know? And you know the state of sex education in this country, it’s honestly so—”

Cassian stops himself when he catches Jyn’s eye and realizes she’s trying not to smile. “Sorry,” he says, looking embarrassed and, unfortunately, very cute because of it. “That’s a rant for another day. The point is, I grew up thinking abortion was bad, because sex outside of marriage was bad and if you’re married and having sex, you should want kids too. But then I went away to college and now I have a degree in social work and somewhere along the line, I realized abortion was just...a thing people do. And I think everyone should have access to it if they want or need it.

“And I don’t know how to convince you I’m not just saying all of this for a gold star or something, but I promise it’s how I really feel and I don’t...judge you at all, for doing it.” He pauses, clearly debating whether to say anything else. “I mean, I’m definitely not going to tell my grandmother about this because she’d kick my ass, but she also still thinks I go to church every Sunday, so what’s another lie between family?”

“I mean, are you sure you don’t want to brag about knocking me up and then encouraging me to get an abortion to your grandmother?” Jyn asks, honestly unable to process any of the other things he said. “Because that sounds like a really fun conversation to me.”

Cassian laughs at that, and this time it’s genuine, which she can tell from the way he ducks his head to hide his smile. “If you want her to know so bad, I’ll give you her number. You can tell her yourself.”

“I think I’m good.”

“Are you?” He asks, softly, after a moment’s consideration. He’s looking at his hands when he says it, like he’s afraid of how she’ll react to his concern. “I mean, are you okay?”

Jyn laughs, disbelieving, before she realizes that could seem rude. “I mean, I’ve been better,” she says, truthfully. “But I’ve also been worse. So I guess I am okay. I’m exactly okay.”

She means it to be pacifying, to ease Cassian’s mind, but she sees that she’s missed the mark when the concerned expression on his face seems to deepen. She thinks about backpedaling somehow, saying something fake and cheerful about the situation, but she can’t think of anything and she’s also pretty sure Cassian would see right through that anyway. She’s never been able to hide from him, which is probably why this thing has been such a mess from the start.

“I mean, I’m not exactly happy to have this procedure done, or to have to pay for it, but—”

“I could help,” Cassian interjects and Jyn completely loses her train of thought.

“Help?” She asks, blankly. “With what?”

“With...paying for it,” he says, awkwardly.

“Oh,” Jyn says, feeling an odd mixture of emotions. She’s not even sure what kind of help she was expecting him to offer, but paying for her abortion wasn’t it. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I could, though. I will, if you want.”

She takes a deep breath, trying to understand what she’s actually feeling before she says anything. “I don’t.”

“You don’t…?”

“I don’t want your help,” she says, trying not to sound too harsh while also sounding decisive.

“Oh,” Cassian replies, painfully neutral. “I understand.”

Jyn wants to contradict him, comfort him somehow by telling him he’s wrong and that he doesn’t understand. She wants to explain that she’s not rejecting his help because she doesn’t want or need it, but because she doesn’t feel she deserves it, after everything. She can’t walk around for the rest of her life, seeing him at shows and at Bodhi’s place, knowing that she fucked him over and ghosted him and then he came through when she needed him. She wouldn’t be able to deal with the guilt. She already can’t.

“It was my fault,” she says, instead, which just makes him look at her in confusion. “I told you I was on birth control—and I thought I was, really—but I forgot to refill my prescription after my breakup because I wasn’t having sex with anyone and so I let it lapse because, whatever, who cares, right? And then I forgot that I had stopped taking it and so when we, you know, had sex, I thought I was on the pill—I have been for like 10 years, so I just got so used to saying it that I forgot I wasn’t anymore—and that’s why I said we didn’t have to use anything. And then like three weeks ago, I found my old birth control...case...thing and it was empty and I remembered that I stopped taking it and then I realized I hadn’t had my period in a while and my boobs have been really tender and I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive so then I went to Planned Parenthood and they said I was pregnant and then I scheduled my abortion for next Friday.

“And now here we are,” she says, finally taking a breath. “So, I’m sorry but I can’t take your money after I’ve been so careless about...everything. I’m also sorry I talked about my boobs being tender before. That was weird.”

Cassian just looks at her, dumbfounded, for a moment after she’s finished speaking. “You don’t need to apologize,” he eventually says, once he’s gathered his thoughts. “For any of it.”

“Cassian—”

“No, really,” he says, firmly. “I’m not going to push you on this, I promise. If you don’t want my help, that’s your prerogative. But just don’t apologize to me, when there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I screwed everything up,” Jyn insists, feeling close to tears once again. “Why aren’t you upset with me?”

“Because you’re doing everything you can to make sure none of this affects me! You don’t want money from me, you’re not even blaming me for getting you pregnant in the first place.”

“Because it was my fault!”

“These things happen, Jyn,” Cassian says, gently. “Even if you’d been on the pill, even if we used a condom, this could have happened.”

“Someone thinks very highly of his own virility,” she says before she can stop herself, but luckily it makes him laugh. “Sorry,” she adds, anyway.

“Stop apologizing,” he says, though the severity of it is undercut by the fact that he’s still smiling at her. They sit there in the surprisingly pleasant, companionable silence for a few moments until Cassian’s face suddenly clouds with worry again. “Wait, did you say your appointment is next Friday?” He asks.

“Yes. Why?”

“But that’s the 14th,” he says. When that only earns him a blank stare in response, he adds, “Valentine’s Day?”

“Oh, I guess it is,” Jyn says, with a shrug. “Why does that matter?”

Cassian shrugs too, but it feels like he’s faking it. “It’s just not a very fun way to spend Valentine’s Day.”

Jyn waves a hand at this concern. “Oh, I don’t care about that. Although, I hope it doesn’t interrupt Bodhi’s plans. I didn’t even think of that.”

“Bodhi?”

“Yeah, he’s coming to my appointment with me.”

“Oh?”

“They said I had to bring someone,” Jyn says, with a hint of an eyeroll. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered Bodhi about it.”

Cassian nods aggressively at that, but his eyes are on the coffee table instead of her and his gaze seems far off. “That’s good, though,” he says, sounding as if he’s trying to convince himself. “Bodhi will be a good person to have around for that. He’s...comforting. You’ll be comfortable with him.”

“Right,” she agrees, distracted by his odd behavior. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he says, snapping out of it immediately. “Of course. It’s just getting late, that’s all.”

“Oh, right. Well, if you have to go…”

“I probably should,” Cassian says, apologetically. Like he should really give up more of his free time for her. “I have work in the morning and...well, you know…”

“Yeah, I do,” Jyn says, standing up at the same time as he does.

At a loss for what to say or do, she goes to grab his jacket off the hook by the door. She turns to bring it back to him, only to find him right behind her. She makes an embarrassing noise of surprise at him being so close and hands it over without a word.

“Thanks,” he says, with a wry smile that somehow doesn’t feel like it’s at her expense.

“Thank you,” she replies, gesturing back towards the couch, “for bringing me dinner and for coming back after I acted so insane at the restaurant and for being so understanding about everything.”

Cassian is busy trying to get the collar of his jacket to sit right, so she hopes he doesn’t see that her eyes are stupidly filling with tears again. He looks back at her half a second after she gets herself under control, which is lucky, but the expression on his face—careful, guarded hope mixed with genuine interest and concern—nearly undoes her hard work in an instant. He’s not allowed to look at her like that.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says, softly, like he’s afraid to startle her. “You didn’t have to, and I appreciate it.”

“Oh, well, that’s not—”

He cuts off her equivocating with a sharp look and she takes the hint. He winds his scarf around his neck before he says, “I know you’re fine and you don’t need my help, but, on the off chance you do need anything, you know how to reach me.”

“Bat signal in the night sky over Gotham, right?” She jokes, which makes him smile, however briefly.

“I’m serious,” he says, and he puts a hand on her shoulder to prove it. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” she says, even though she won’t. “I promise,” she lies.

“Okay,” Cassian says, probably knowing she’s lying, but he gives her shoulder a comforting squeeze in spite of it. “Take care of yourself.”

Jyn nods, trying to think of something more inspired to say than you too and then he’s pulling his hand away and something inside her panics. Suddenly, she’s wrapping her arms around his middle and pulling him closer and they’re hugging, which is not a thing they really do, except maybe as a brief greeting or as part of a goodbye. After three seconds, this one hug has surpassed any of their other ones in duration, but letting go of him somehow seems more awkward. Then, his arms wrap around her too, with the palm of one hand coming to rest on her back and the other curling around the base of her neck, fingertips sinking into her hair.

She sighs involuntarily into the fabric of his scarf and hopes that it’s somehow muffled enough that he didn’t hear her. In response or completely independently, she’s not sure which, Cassian tucks his face into her shoulder. If it weren’t for the layers of clothing between them, it could have been a kiss, but she really shouldn’t be thinking things like that. She shouldn’t have done this in the first place at all, but now she can see that she wanted this all along. She wanted someone to hold her, apparently, to give her something solid to cling to when everything else in her life feels so nebulous and volatile. And Cassian gives her that, holding her close without a word, moving his palm slowly and gently over her back in a soothing, repetitive circle.

It would be easy, she thinks, to turn what they’re doing right now into a kiss, to leverage this one kind of intimacy into another. She could ask him to stay, to spend the night, and he might not even need much convincing. She hasn’t been sleeping well—up all night worrying about money and about telling Cassian what was going on—and she thinks he could probably help with that, even if he does nothing more than hold her like he is right now. It would be easy, and she wants to so badly.

But then she thinks of the two months she waited to call him. She thinks of leaving him in that restaurant and how he brought her dinner anyway. She thinks of her messy bedroom with the piles of clothes everywhere and her bright, mismatched sheets and her desk covered in markers and paint and unfinished sketches and she can’t imagine bringing him in there, not after she’s seen his meticulously clean and terrifyingly organized bedroom. She thinks of his sweaters over button-ups and his respectable career and his well-ordered life and how she continually barrels into it and fucks everything up. She thinks of asking him to stay and she knows he’d say yes, but it would be out of pity for her, out of concern, out of obligation to the almost mother of his theoretical child. It would be a selfish thing to ask of him, and she’s been selfish enough.

Instead, she allows herself another moment to enjoy the feeling of being held before she slowly pulls back, disentangling herself from his arms. He follows her lead immediately, letting his arms drop to his sides before hurriedly burying his hands in his pockets. Jyn does her best to wipe her eyes inconspicuously, though it’s likely a lost cause at this point. Cassian’s not stupid; he knows that wasn’t a regular goodbye hug.

“Thanks again,” Jyn says, finally and anticlimactically, after a moment’s silence. If Cassian somehow couldn’t see that she’s been crying, he can definitely hear it in her voice now.

“Of course,” he says, blessedly not mentioning it. He does, however, reach out a hand to brush a wayward strand of hair back from her face, his thumb skimming over her cheekbone as he does it.

Jyn hurries to step away after that, refusing to let herself linger in his presence and want things she can’t have. She undoes the locks on the front door and holds it open for him, standing aside to leave plenty of room between them.

He’s just stepping through the doorway when he turns back towards her. “If you need anything…” he repeats, seeming uncertain.

“I’ll call,” Jyn finishes for him, smiling weakly.

“Right,” Cassian says with a nod, before turning away. He’s already in the hallway when he turns back again. “Jyn?”

“Yeah?” She’s lingering by the doorway, when she should have already closed the door and put an end to this exhausting evening.

“You can call even if you don’t need anything,” he says, that same serious, hopeful expression from before returning. “You can always call.”

With that, he turns and walks away. Jyn stands in her doorway, watching him go and then listening until his footsteps reach and then disappear through the front door and for a few minutes after that, too, because she can’t bring herself to move.

[firefeufuego]

allegrezza: chapter two

Inspired by the prompt ‘Media Adaption’ for RebelCaptain Appreciation Week, I thought I’d bang out another chapter of the coda to my Mozart in the Jungle crossover. Enjoy!

‘Tepoztlán’, the voice of the driver carries down the bus as it comes to a stop and Jyn stands and reaches for her bag before stepping off into Cassian’s hometown. It’s a bit odd to be here without him, but the orchestra’s delayed flight out of Rio left her with an extra day in her little surprise trip to Mexico and there’s something here she wants to do alone.

Tapping in  her destination on her phone, she sets off through the streets of the picturesque town, nestled in a valley between the soaring cliff sides of lushly forested mountains. Jyn’s less interested in the landscapes and architecture than the people though, because everywhere she looks, she sees a younger Cassian — in the two boys kicking a football back and forth that could be him and Rodrigo, or the babbling toddler sitting on his father’s shoulders.

There’s a bittersweet heaviness to those fond invented memories that mirrors the ache she feels when she thinks of her own childhood, those early years of happiness making the subsequent loss cut all the deeper. 

Still, better than to have never been happy at all, as Cassian would say if he were here. She misses him, even more than she has done for the past month that they’ve both been touring. 

She’s supposed to be in Belgium now before setting off for the last leg of the tour in Germany, but the thought of not being there when Cassian played his first professional concert in Mexico (a concert that he and Rodrigo had been stressing each other out over for months) was unacceptable. Or so she’d thought after a bottle of wine in her empty hotel room before shelling out more money than she’d rather think about for last minute flights.

Her phone buzzes in her hand, telling her she’s reached her destination. There’s a stand selling flowers near the entrance and she buys the two most expensive bouquets, feeling strangely nervous about first impressions even though the people she’s buying them for could literally not care less.

After a few minutes scanning the rows of stones, she finds them. 

Jeron Andor Lopez and Charlotte McMillan share a simple headstone, engraved with a short message about Cassian and — Jyn notes with a smile — a few of the best bars of the Brahms sonata. 

Laying down the flowers, she gets the water bottle and a packet of tissues out of her bag and sets about cleaning the dirt and dust off of the stone, which looks as if it had gone unvisited in some time. She knows Cassian is never able to visit as often as he wants to and he has no other living family in Mexico, which is why he had to move to the US to live with his mother’s dour brother after the accident. 

Once she’s done scrubbing, she drinks the rest of the water and sits beside the newly gleaming granite, looking around to check that she’s alone before clearing her throat awkwardly. ‘Hello. My name is Jyn Erso and I’m in love with your son.’ She pauses for a minute, tracing Cassian’s name. ‘You would be so proud of him, he’s just— he’s the best person. I feel like I should thank you both, for, you know, making him.  I’m, um, I’m  going to ask him to marry me soon, actually, which is kind of why I’m here. I think that if you knew me, and how I hurt him, you probably wouldn’t trust me with him. There are days when I don’t really trust myself with him. But I promise, on every grave in this place, that I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make him happy. And if I don’t, you can feel free to strike me down with whatever powers you have at your disposal.’   

There’s no sudden burst of sun or gust of wind that she might imagine into a response, but the sense of duty that brought her here still feels satisfied. She feels the weight of responsibility of making that promise to the only other people who loved Cassian as much as her, but it feels grounding — more like an anchor than a burden.

After another few minutes of thoughtful silence, Jyn murmurs a goodbye and starts toward the second place she’d come here to see.

Maestro Rivera’s music conservatory is a gorgeous old building, bustling with young students lugging around instrument cases that are still just a bit big for them. There’s a particular kind of cacophony that only comes from music schools and makes her miss Yavin fiercely.

More than a few of the students recognise her and excitedly ask for selfies and after a few minutes of increasingly awkward smiling and being maneuvered within various configurations of friendship groups, she asks them where she can find the maestro. Two of them immediately appoint themselves as her guides, eagerly pointing out various ensemble rooms and places of interest, including a bin where the great Rodrigo de Sousa apparently set all the school’s Tchaikovsky scores on fire in a fit of adolescent pique. With the benefit of years of living with Cassian, Jyn just manages to keep up with their slowed-down Spanish, though she keeps her responses to a minimum to avoid having to use her apparently comical accent. 

About a month after that first recital at Yavin, Jyn — feeling outgunned in the romance stakes after Cassian had so tenderly nursed her back to health then treated her to a series of increasingly lovely dates — tried to tell him how she felt in Spanish, practising in the mirror more times than she was willing to admit until the words felt comfortable in her mouth.

Once she’d said them, Cassian’s expression was almost entirely charmed, but she still caught the laugh he’d quickly suppressed.

Flustered and a little dismayed, she asked, ‘How did I not get it right? I looked it up in a proper dictionary and everything.’

Quickly wrapping her in his arms, he explained between kisses that he’d just never heard such strongly Danish-accented Spanish before. ‘I think your brain just defaulted to the foreign accent it already knew.’

Somewhat mollified, Jyn nevertheless looked up the hardest words she knew in Danish and made Cassian pronounce them, which he did with exaggerated incompetence.

Then of course, because he really was impossible to compete with as a romantic, he took her face in his hands and said, his voice hushed and reverent, ‘I’m falling in love with you too.’

She shivers now as she did then, but her reverie is soon interrupted by their arrival at Maestro Rivera’s room. 

The man who opens the door looks like some kind of vengeful Old Testament deity, all stern brow and long, white beard. No wonder Cassian and Rodrigo are as good as they are, if this is who was telling them to practise. His face soon brightens as he takes her in though. ‘Ms Erso, what a pleasure.’ He takes her hand and presses it to his lips. ‘How you have grown since the last time I saw you.’

Jyn opens her mouth in surprise, brow furrowing. ‘When—’

He links his arm with hers and starts to walk down the hallway, raising an eyebrow at the two students who have surreptitiously moved to follow them and sending them scurrying off. ‘Your father and I crossed paths a few times before I retired here. I remember you as a very well-behaved young child at one of his concerts.’

‘That doesn’t really sound like me.’ Hellion had been bandied about quite a lot during her childhood.

‘Ah!’ He chuckles. ‘Perhaps not normally, but you were so enchanted by the music, even then. You followed your father’s fingers so closely, I’m surprised you didn’t turn out to be a violinist.’

‘I nearly did.’ She’s about to go on to explain why she chose piano instead, but decides she’s had enough of thinking about children losing their parents for one day.

‘Now, I think that you did not come here to talk about your past.’ Guiding them to one of the many photos lining the corridor, he points to one with a hint of mischief. ‘Maestro de Sousa tells me one of my other students has caught your eye.’

The photo shows a string ensemble mid-performance and in the first row sits Cassian at around eight years old, face serious as he holds his little 13 inch viola aloft. She gasps out a delighted laugh at his terrible haircut and chubby cheeks, marvelling at how they could have transformed into the razor-sharp beauty of the man she knows. 

Maestro Rivera laughs along with her. ‘Puberty really was a blessing for that boy. But so talented.’ He frowns. ‘I’ve always thought he’s wasted on the viola. You know, I tried so hard to get him to switch to the violin, but he would not listen.’

Jyn thinks of how Cassian’s face lights up when he’s playing with the orchestra in a way that it never quite does when he plays alone. ‘He’s too selfless for violin, he just likes making other people sound good.’

The maestro hums in acknowledgement. ‘And of course there was his mother. A truly impressive musician. She played like you, not quite as beautifully as Cassian, but with such fire.’

‘With the blood?’

‘With the blood, exactly. I see someone has been stealing my lines.’ He leads her down the corridor to other photos of Cassian, including one of him and Rodrigo in a string quartet, arms around each other and smiling. Jyn gets out her phone and is about to take a picture of it when Maestro Rivera plucks the frame off the wall and hands it to her. ‘Consider this my payment.’

Raising an eyebrow as she puts the photo away, she asks, ‘Payment for what?’

‘For the piano recital that you’re about to give for my students, of course.’ His tone is benevolent but brooks no argument and she pities the poor soul who would ever try to say no to this man.

Within half an hour, she finds herself seated at an old but well-maintained grand piano and surrounded by students. Most of the hastily-gathered crowd is seated but the maestro has allowed the pianists to come up close and they watch her technique with eagle eyes, making her think harder about it than she has in a while.

She plays the Prokofiev from her current tour repertoire along with some Beethoven and Mozart for good measure. Once she’s finished, the piano students are asked to list all of her mistakes, with any that they missed helpfully supplied by Maestro Rivera. 

It’s just like she’s back with Saw, and she makes a note to find his most recent contact details. Rumour has it he’s somewhere in Mongolia doing something interesting with throat singers.

After many more selfies and a fond ‘Hasta pronto’ from the maestro, who’s coming to the concert in a few days, she’s put in someone’s parent’s car and driven back to the bus stop. 

While she waits, she gets a message from Cassian. You still awake?

She goes to call him before realising the country code will ruin her surprise and she doesn’t have enough data for an internet call. With a disappointed sigh, she replies, Barely. Talk tomorrow?

Okay. Miss you. 

She feels a little awful, knows he’s even more stressed about coming to Mexico and the concert than he’s letting on. But she’ll more than make up for it tomorrow. God, she’s never felt better about dropping two grand on a whim. Miss you too, it’s not long now. Have a safe flight.

Yeah, just two more weeks. I love you.

Who knows, maybe it’ll feel shorter. Love you too. So much. Even without those cheekbones.

????? 

;)

[poeticandors]

So Many Words Part 4

Poe Dameron x Female!Reader

Summary: Poe and Y/N became pen pals after their first meeting when they were younger, and since then, they continued to write letters to each other. Following the letters throughout their lives, we will see just how far these letters go, as well as their relationship.

Warnings: None

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Almost to the end!

I do not own GIF!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

22 Years Old

Dear Poe,

I hope everything is treating you well. I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you when you get to visit again. Our last visit wasn’t long enough ;). Tell Commander Andor I begged you to give you more another leave (tell him I am giving puppy dog eyes right now).

Finals week is here, I’m dreading it so much. I’ve literally studied nonstop and I don’t feel like I’m retaining ANY information at all. I wish you were here to help me study ;).

I can’t believe I’ll be walking in just a few more days. I have NO idea what I’m going to be doing after this. It’s going to be weird not studying and having to get an actual job. 

I miss you every single day you’re not here. But I am so proud of all you’ve accomplished. Never thought I would still be writing letters to you as often as I do. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

Stay safe. 

I love you,

Y/N

~~~~~~

Smiling down at the letter, you fold it up and push it into the envelope before sealing it off. You would be sure to send it as soon as you had a chance to. A small bark is heard, and you glance down to see BeeBee wagging his little nub. 

“Time to eat?” The pup’s ears shot up and he quirks his head to the side before jumping up.

“Alright, alright,” you chuckle as you stand up, grabbing the envelope with BeeBee following behind. 

You had gifted Poe with BeeBee a while ago, when he first started his training. The two were thick as thieves— always cuddling together on the couch while you studied. BeeBee would always get upset when Poe left, but the moment he came back it was like he never even left. 

As you poured the food into the bowl, you glanced at a few pictures that were hanging up on your wall. There were a few from when you were really young, like when you, Ben, and Poe went to the zoo. And then there was one of you and Poe at your high school graduation

Then, there were some more recent. There was one of you, Poe, and BeeBee when he was just a puppy, and another of the two of you in front of the Disneyland Castle with your churros. 

So many memories from your childhood, and they only kept growing as you both get older. Never would you have thought that you would end up still writing letters to him, having a shared apartment and dog. 

You smiled.

You were so in love with Poe Dameron.

+++++++

“Dameron! You’ve got some mail.”

Poe glances up as Cassian hands him a few letters, nodding in thanks as his Commander continues to pass out mail. He reads the first one from his father, seeing that he is well and how he hopes that he is staying safe and not getting into any trouble.

He smiles, setting the letter aside before recognizing your handwriting. He opens it up and begins to read as Cassian sits next to him, opening a letter that’s most likely from Jyn. 

“Your sweetheart write you?” 

“Yeah, she said to tell you she’s begging you to give me another leave. Says she is giving you puppy dog eyes right now.”

Cassian chuckles. “So, she doesn’t know you’re dropping by for her graduation, then?”

“Nope. Her parents do, I’ve already talked with them. And my father will be flying out to see her walk, as well.”

“That’ll be nice. Give her my congratulations, will you?” 

“Sure,” he nods as Cassian pats his shoulder before walking off. 

Poe smiles, grabbing the letter and placing it in a box with all the others you’ve written, along with picture you’ve sent of you and BeeBee. 

He would never get tired of seeing your smile.

He knew joining the Air Force meant not being with each other as often, but it didn’t stop your love from growing. Each visit made him realize just how thankful he is to have you in his life. 

It would only be a few more days until you walked, and Poe would be there to witness it— although you didn’t know that. He glances down at the small box he kept with your letters, gently picking it up as he stares at the beautiful ring hanging on a chain inside. 

He knew from the moment he met you that he wanted you in his life for a long time. As your relationship blossomed, he wanted you to be in his life not only as his best friend, but his wife. 

His mother gave him the ring when he was younger, saying that she wanted him to give it to the one person he loved with all his heart. He kept that ring with him every day after she passed, determined to find that one person.

And that person was you. 

Poe smiles— his heart warm and full at the thought of you wearing his mother’s ring. He sets the box away, grabbing a paper and pen as he sits down to write. 

~~~~~~

Sweetheart,

You’re right, our last visit wasn’t long enough. I have a feeling we have PLENTY of time to catch up ;). Commander Andor gives his congratulations on graduating, I think you MIGHT have gotten him to consider letting me take another leave. 

I’ve told you before, sweetheart. You’re going to kick those finals asses. You have nothing to worry about. You are going to be amazing at whatever you . And I am already so proud of you. No matter what, I will be by your side. 

I love you more than anything, sweetheart. And I promise, I’ll see you sooner than you think.

I love you,

Poe

~~~~~~

”Alright, smile!”

Holding up your diploma and a bouquet of flowers you received, you smile widely as your parents and Kes take photos of you. 

You finally did it.

The moment you heard your name being called almost didn’t seem real to you. All your hard work, all the late nights… they finally paid off. You were a graduate.

You were so thankful to be joined with your family and Kes— your loved ones. They cheered so loud for you as you waved to them while grabbing your diploma. You could only imagine how loud Poe would’ve cheered for you. This thought made your heart feel heavy. While you wished that Poe were there, you knew he needed to be where he was at.

“Okay, how about—“

“Just one more!” Your mother calls out, a sly smile on her face.

Shaking your head with a smile, you pose for another picture, when you feel an arm wrap around your shoulders. Quickly looking up, you were frozen in place for a mere moment as you stared into the familiar eyes of Poe. 

“Hey, Sweetheart.”

Your Poe was here.

All of the emotions hit you at once like a wave— relief, exhilaration… they were all there. A choked sob escapes you, and you carefully hand the flowers and your diploma to whoever held their hands to grab them before embracing Poe. 

“Poe!” You cry out, tears falling down your cheeks as he spins you around. “I-I can’t believe you’re here!”

“You really think I would miss seeing my girl’s big day?” He chuckles, setting you down.

Your hands are on his cheeks, and you quickly press your lips to his— kissing him fervently. As he pulls you close, you feel him smile against your lips.

Pulling away, you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

“Well… your graduation isn’t the only reason I’m here.” 

Your brows knit together, and before you can ask what he means, Poe reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box.

Your hands are quick to cover your mouth, and you already feel more tears forming as Poe smiles up at you. 

“Y/N… from the moment we first met, I knew I wanted you in my life.” He starts. “From that first summer to us becoming pen pals, to us becoming best friends… then on to more than friends. I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to.”

He opens up the box, and you try to hold back a sob.

It was the ring his mother gave him.

You remember him first showing it to you when you were younger. The ring then was hooked on a small chain, ensuring that he took it everywhere with him, and it was then that you realized that he always had it with him. 

Poe told you about that day his mother died, and your heart ached for him. Though full of sorrow, he continued to tell you many happy memories— all the stories of her time in the Air Force, how she always took him to the park close by the airport so they could watch the planes take off. 

Then, he told you about the moment she gave him her ring, telling him to give it to the one person he truly loved— the one he wanted to marry. 

He was giving it to you. 

Poe glances up at you— his gaze nervous and pupils so blown.You had never seen Poe this nervous before, not since your prom night. He’s trying to come up with the words, you can see him trying to rack his brain around just what to say. 

“...Sweetheart, I’ve loved you from that moment by the lake. My love for you continues to grow every single day, and I want to continue showing just how much you mean to me,” he exhales shakily, holding the ring out for you. “Will you allow me to spend every waking day as your husband? To be able to call you my wife and build a happy life together? Y/N… will you marry me?”

There was no hesitation. You quickly nod, tears falling down your cheeks as you pull your hands down. 

“Yes, Poe. Yes! I’ll marry you.”

[callioope]

@twiceihavelived prompted me on Dreamwidth last year: 

Didn't I just read that you were taking prompts for your birthday? Maybe I'll prompt you this: Cassian and Jyn were both trained by the best, they just didn't realize that what they were learning ran in the family (Cassian is trained by Steela, Jyn by Saw. They only find out after Scarif). (Feel free to write this only if you wish, you will not hurt my feelings if I missed the prompting!)

I am so sorry for the wait! Thank you for the prompt and thank you for your patience. This was a fantastic prompt. Definitely the story I’d been looking for at the time (oof, I see this prompt came just after I finished watching the Onderon arc in The Clone Wars, wow). I do so love the idea of sharpshooter!Steela training Cassian.  

You know, I claimed my word limit for these was supposed to be 1,500. Well this is only 500 more than that O:-) Oops. I got carried away. Actually no. This is the prompt I cheated on. My friend Andy prompted me to use the word “droop” in a story (a tribute to a beloved NPC in one of our D&D games whose name is Droop. we used to call ourselves Droop’s Troup). So I used the word here. So. Justification. It’s two-in-one so of course it’s longer. *awkward laugh* *sweats* 

anyways here we go

“And what about you, Jyn?” Bodhi says, a quiet, contented smile on his face as he collects a mouthful of meat, vegetables, and rice onto his fork. 

Cassian and Jyn had gone to great lengths to find the closest ingredients to Jedhan cuisine they could. But it had been Baze who’d overseen it’s preparation. For once, he’d commandeered the position as master chef from Cassian and had taken a surprising amount of joy directing the rest of them about the kitchen. Even he had been excited to share the traditional fare of a particularly special Jedhan holiday. 

“Hmm?” Jyn stuffs her own forkful into her mouth. She knows exactly what Bodhi is asking. 

“What traditions run in your family?”

Annoyance flares in her heart. Bodhi knew Galen. He should know — she doesn’t have an answer. But it’s Bodhi, and he always means well. Which means he doesn’t know. She chews slowly. 

The problem is, Jyn never even knew she was missing anything until she’d had to confront it every day on Home One, as thousands of beings across the galaxy mingled around her. All of them hailed from different regions, different planets, different cultures and traditions. 

She’d once glimpsed General Syndulla’s Kalikori during a mission debriefing in her small office. Sabine Wren’s armor spoke enough of Mandalorian tradition on its own, but she’d also covered it with all kinds of symbols, colors, and pictures that no doubt held some kind of special meaning. And just two weeks ago, Cara Dune had attended that Alderaanian winter service Leia had held. 

Jyn has lived on more planets in her twenty-two years than some people ever visit in a lifetime. But to achieve that kind of record, she’d never spent too much time in more than one place. She’d never had the time to adopt particular habits or rituals or palates. Sure, she had her favorite dish in every local cuisine, but no particular food tasted like home.

Especially not the homes that had preceded those planets. She doesn’t remember Coruscant, beyond fleeting memories of dancing characters in holovids and a sprawl of toys and papa carrying her to bed— 

She does remember bits of Lah’mu: the feel of the salty, wet air in her face; the smell of grass; and mud-stained hands marching Stormie around through the dirt. And other things, of course. 

But she doesn’t have traditions that stick. Did mama and papa celebrate any particular holidays? She doesn’t even remember (not until Cassian tells her, reads the info from her files) what planets her parents actually came from. She reads about the traditions there, but feels no connection or draw to any of the traditions or celebrations there. They don’t sound familiar. 

She’s about to answer and gruffly admit she has none, when Cassian intercedes.

“What about Restoration Day?” 

She shakes her head and her shoulders droop. It was nice of Cassian to try, but no, she’s not familiar with that either.

“It’s an Onderonian holiday,” he explains. “I thought Saw might have celebrated it.”

Onderon — a good try on his part. The jungle planet keeps cropping up between the two of them, and they hadn’t even noticed it at first. 

-

It’d started with particular phrases, idioms that Jyn had always assumed were military vernacular, so it never surprised her to hear Cassian saying them, too. It also hadn’t surprised her that Bodhi, Chirrut, and Baze didn’t recognize them. But Cara would occasionally look at her in incomprehension. She’d try them out around other soldiers, and while they might humor her, they never actually recognized them. 

Finally, a particular curse word slipped out around Rex. He squinted at her. “Been awhile since I heard that,” he’d said. After a moment, he’d added, “You used to work with Saw Gerrera, didn’t you?”

She’d nodded, and he’d gone on to talk about the days he’d served on Onderon with Saw and his sister. She’d been all ears then, eager to hear of the sister Saw would barely speak of, let alone to. 

“You never met her?” Rex had finally asked, and Jyn shook her head. As far as she could understand, their competing ideologies had clashed too much. They could never agree enough to work together, but their separation hurt him enough that he refused to talk about it with Jyn.

“Ah, well, she’d’ve loved you,” Rex said. 

She’d never asked Cassian how he knew the words, but then, Cassian always seemed to know a little about everything, so she put it out of mind.

Until one day, when she’d caught some plague going around Home One, and the soup Cassian had made her tasted familiar. “What is this?” she’d asked, slurping a steaming spoonful. “I think I recognize it, but I can’t remember having it.”

“It’s called ‘King’s stew’,” he’d said. “It’s an Onderonian delicacy.”

And then she’d felt nine-years-old, sniffling and wrapped in raggedy blankets, perched on a cold bench and hunched over a bowl of warm soup that Saw had just placed in front of her. 

“How do you know so much about Onderon, anyways?” she’d asked. 

“I knew someone from there,” Cassian had answered, and she made a point never to pry about his past. He’d tell her, if he felt like talking, and besides, that soup was doing its magic and luring her to a restful sleep.

-

“Jyn?” Cassian asks and she shakes from the memory.

“Saw only celebrated battles won,” she says. And even then…  

“But it is,” Cassian explains. “It’s the celebration of when they defeated the Separatist army during the Clone Wars. Not that they stayed free...” He looks down at his food and hesitates for a second before gathering himself. “But… my commander used to celebrate it as a — glimpse of hope. For something that had been achieved once before and could be achieved once again.”

“Sounds fitting,” Bodhi says.

Cassian nods, and then smiles. “Well, at the time, I mostly looked forward to the food. We never ate so much, usually. But our commander would cook up an entire spread.” 

Jyn looks up in surprise as Cassian continues, listing all varieties of meat skewers, roasted vegetables, dips and spreads, palm fruits, specific spices that all sound familiar.

“Oh,” she says, when he’s finished. “We never made a big deal about it, but — yeah. Every now and then, not even every year, if we could, we’d have a nice feast. All those foods. And Saw used to say, when he broke the first roll, he used to say — “

“Blessings of the royal house of Unifar,” they say at the same time. 

They both grin.

“When do we celebrate?” Chirrut asks. 

Baze shakes his head. “We’re not even done with this celebration.”

“I think it’d be nice,” Bodh says. “To have — to look forward to something, again.”

“Well, we’ll need the time to gather all the supplies…”

It turns into a great way to pass the next three months. While out on missions, they idly shop for the appropriate seasonings and decorations. They’d done much the same before the Jedhan holiday, and while that had certainly felt special, this feels different to Jyn. Her Rogue One crew — they’re most certainly family, and there are traditions she’s happy to share with them. But there’s something about Restoration Day that sings a little in her heart. That feels distinctly like a part of the family she used to know, a family she misses despite the hardships they endured together.

It also, strangely, feels like something that belongs to both her and Cassian. He must have been close to that Onderonian woman, for him to carry so much of their culture to his heart. 

“You know I hate to pry,” she starts, long into their feast. 

They’re seated at one end of the long table, and most of the rest of their party — they’d invited many of their friends — are fully appreciating the effects of a rare Onderonian wine Han Solo (of all people) had managed to locate for them. Beside her, Bodhi is totally enthralled by a red-faced Luke Skywalker, deep into a narrative about Beggar’s Canyon. Across from her, next to Cassian, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron listen to Rex’s stories of Onderon, the ones he’d already told Jyn. 

To his credit, Cassian doesn’t tense in anticipation of her question. Just lowers his fork and watches her, curious. 

At that moment, a shadow falls across the table and they both look up to see a dark-skinned, figure standing by Cassian’s seat. Gray streaks run through her dreads, and Jyn can tell by the way she holds herself and regards the room that she’s probably fought as many battles as Rex. She looks incredibly familiar to Jyn, though she couldn’t name her. Maybe she’s a friend of Rex’s.

But then Cassian’s face breaks into a rare grin as he stands up and envelopes this woman in an even more rare hug. 

“Steela!” he says. “It’s been so long.”

Jyn’s fork clatters against her tray.

Steela Gerrera. The sister Saw never talked about. Except once, when she was still quite young, and had accidentally uncovered her holo when snooping about some old crates. 

Neither Cassian nor Steela glance her way, though she knows Cassian will have noticed. They’re more focused on each other. 

“Too long this time,” she agrees solemnly. “I heard what you did on Scarif. Not your usual style...”

“Yeah, well…”

“...but very brave. I’m very proud of you.” 

Cassian looks as uncomfortable with the praise as he ever does. He finally looks at her, holds out a hand towards her. “It was really Jyn’s mission.”

“It was a team effort,” Jyn says slowly, standing. She and Steela regard each other carefully.

“I’m sorry, let me introduce you—” Cassian starts to say.

“Jyn Erso,” Steela says. And why does Jyn feel suddenly nervous? Unbidden, the story Zeb had been telling earlier, of the time Jacen’s father met Cham Syndulla, comes to mind. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“Steela,” Jyn nods. She decides to voice the question that’s been bothering her. The gears have been turning in her head this whole time, and she’s pretty sure she already knows the answer, but she wants to hear it. 

“How do you two know each other?” Jyn asks — surprised to find her voice in sync with Cassian asking the same.

Jyn glances at Cassian, puzzled. He knows her history with Saw. 

Steela sighs. “This is my fault.” She answers Jyn first. “I trained Cassian, when he was younger. Before he got promoted to Draven’s team.”

Jyn nods; that’s what she anticipated. It clicks into place now — every obscure saying and tradition she and Cassian had had in common. They had, it turned out, been raised separately by siblings. Her chest aches at the idea that in some other universe, one where Saw and Steela had gotten over their ideological differences, that she and Cassian could have met earlier. 

He turns to her now, subtle creases along his brows and eyes. Why are you looking at me like that? she reads on his face.

“And Cassian,” Steela says, reluctantly, abashedly. “I’m afraid there’s something I never told you.” 

The wrinkles in his face shift as, she assumes, his mind races to catch up with the situation. He glances between Jyn and Steela. 

“Onderon,” he says. “You’re related to Saw, aren’t you?”

“He’s my brother,” she says. She drops her head, eyes focused on the Onderonian food in front of them. “By the time I met you, I’d taken Lux’s name. To distance myself.”

The final mystery revealed. So that’s why Cassian hadn’t realized. 

“I’m sorry to both of you,” she says. “I should have tried harder to reconcile with Saw.”

“Reconciliation requires efforts on both sides,” Jyn says. 

Something in Steela’s gaze softens, and she nods appreciatively. “How did you recognize me?”

“Saw had a holo of you. I found it once.”

“You found it,” Cassian murmurs, a knowing glint in his eye.

“Yeah, it wasn’t a happy day.” She clears her throat and holds out her hand. “Anyways. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Likewise.” And Steela moves right past her hand and envelops her in a hug. “Thanks for looking after him,” she whispers in Jyn’s ear, and Jyn isn’t sure if she is referring to Saw or Cassian.

Steela pulls away and glances at their table with misty eyes. “Might I join you? It’d be a pleasure to share this meal with two honorary Onderonians.”

“Of course,” Jyn says. “Please. The pleasure is all ours.”

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Tori!

You have been accepted for the role of HESTIA JONES! We really enjoyed the balance and realism you brought not just to Hestia’s flaws, but to the flawed world in which she (and everyone else!) lives, and we’re looking forward to all the tension this lovely little firecracker will add to the Order! We are so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Tori

AGE: 24

TIMEZONE: EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Well, due to classes and my internship being online now, I have lots of free time. I’ll definitely be able to check and reply throughout the week. Weekends I will be able to as well, but I  spend those days with my spouse, so I may not reply as frequently.

ANYTHING ELSE: Rape/non-con/dub-con is definitely something that needs to be tagged for me. I’m okay with most other things.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Hestia Jones

AGE: 18

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cisgender female, she/her. Hestia is currently a bit…confused, is how I’ll put it, about her sexuality. Those types of things were taught and not mentioned a whole lot, so her attraction to women makes her feel a bit uncomfortable. And scared. But she’s interested in them.

BLOOD STATUS: Half-blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Ravenclaw

ANY CHANGES: Nope! I love Lana as the FC!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Hestia is very good at thinking outside the box. Whether it comes to her ideas at her internship or fashion or even at the Order, she doesn’t do well with just sticking with the status quo. At the internship, this was easy. There were so many laws to be changed and there were all right and legal channels to go through. Her supervisors even encouraged her to keep digging! In the Order, she tries to speak up, but because she’s a low-level member, her ideas fall short. It’s frustrating. But she keeps going back to the drawing board to come up with something new. She’s not one to back down from a fight or to give up so easily.

She’s also very independent, even from a young age she liked doing things herself. She hates asking for help and admitting defeat. Her supervisors always write “Shows great initiative!” on all her reports. She’s not afraid to tell people how she feels or what she thinks should be done. She’s not afraid to get ahead of the curve, to get ahead of the trends.

Although, because she’s so full of ideas of what to do next, Hestia isn’t the best listener. It’s like she zones out the minute someone tells her what’s actually going to be done. Or what she could be doing better. At 18, Hestia thinks she’s an adult and that her ideas are just as good as anyone else’s. And sometimes that means everyone else is wrong in her eyes.

She also has a bit of internalized-homophobia and internalized-misogyny as well. It’s the early 80s and no one really talks about gay people, about those who may not be straight. At least not in a positive way. And with dealing with her own feelings of same-gender attraction, she’s trying to repress it. She has a mean jealous streak and it shows when she sees anyone who is out talking about it. How dare they feel so comfortable when she doesn’t? She’s trying to deny her own feelings and Hestia isn’t the greatest at dealing with that. It’s given her a big compulsive streak as well. She’ll go out drinking with other interns and black out, as if that’s going to help with anything. But at least it means she doesn’t have to think about her own feelings too much.

With the internalized-misogyny it’s a bit more difficult. Hestia hates the “I’m not like other girls”. The ones who think they’re better just because they’re not into fashion or doing their nails, because they’re too busy reading and being introverts. And she does kind of look down on women who aren’t as feminine.

Despite those things, she is rather welcoming and definitely is still in the fight against the oppression of muggleborns, halfbreeds and the others. She would never look down on someone because of blood or even species.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Hestia grew up an only child to a muggle father, Alexander, and witch, Natalie, surrounded by all the love she could ask for. Or, at least, that’s the way she saw it. Her parents were always supportive of her aspirations and her goals. Even if her father didn’t quite understand everything that she talked about. Her parents also both worked a lot and had very well-established careers. Hestia never went without anything. But her parents made sure that their daughter didn’t grow up too spoiled. They taught her to work hard and to never stop being curious.

Hestia did grow up seeing some of the racism that her parents, and herself at times, faced. And it made her even more empathetic to the cause of fighting oppression. The fact that her parents changed their names to something more “normal” made her angry. The fact that they couldn’t truly be themselves. While her parents didn’t instill this fight in her, she has it because of them indirectly.

OCCUPATION:

She is still a law intern in the Department of Magical Law. It becomes a struggle to go in each and every morning, knowing that she’s lying to everyone there on what she’s doing. On who she is. But currently it’s the most moral way to change the laws. The Order certainly isn’t holding any protests or petitioning the Minster, that’s for sure. Still, she hates holding this secret in and sooner or later she’s afraid she might just spill the beans.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

She’s a low-level member and quite frankly, she’s tired of not being heard. Of being looked down upon because she’s not in the inner-circle. As if cliques at Hogwarts weren’t annoying enough. She knows she’s smart and more than capable with a wand, so why won’t they listen to her? Would it be so terrible to listen to the low-level, and quite young, members?

She also just has a lot of complicated thoughts, because she’s still working for the Ministry. If they found out what she was a part of they’d…well, Hestia doesn’t want to think about that. Going to meetings and headquarters gives her so much anxiety that she’s hardly able to sleep at night. Is this the right thing to do? She’s never been one to follow what people tell her to do, to behave how people want her to, but this? This is something else entirely. And it feels like no traction is being made. Voldemort and the Death Eaters just seem to be getting stronger and more powerful. Hestia joined to make a difference, but all she’s doing is getting ignored.

Hestia also sees the wear and tear it has on members like Fabian, who rushes head first into danger. Who looks like he’s dead behind his eyes. If this organization is doing so much good (supposedly!) then why is Fabian on the edge of suicide?

SURVIVAL:

Hestia’s safety net is her internship, is the Ministry. As much as the Order hates them, she needs them to stay alive. If she doesn’t have that, then she’s not sure what she’ll have. Where she’ll go. If something happens to the Order, she’ll keep her internship and hopefully get a job at the Department of Magical Law. Having a secret life isn’t ideal, but she’s glad her more public life is the one with the Ministry. Hestia is 18 and thinks that maybe she can still change laws and the Ministry from the inside.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Hestia is very busy between the internship and the Order, but she tries to spend time with her friends. To go out to the pubs with them (and maybe drinks far too much). She’s not interested in a full-fledged long-term relationship at the moment, but she wouldn’t mind some company. A friends-with-benefits situation. Hestia has no idea how her friendships are staying above water with everyone so stressed and worn-out all the time. Maybe it’s because alcohol hides that for a moment, or maybe they’re all just very good at pretending.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: I ship chemistry above all else. I don’t really have any anti-ships besides no chemistry.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

I like to think that since Hestia comes from a fairly well-to-do family, she doesn’t really get poverty. She doesn’t understand that some people can’t just shop all the time or get their nails or hair done. Obviously, she’s around some Weasley members, but she just doesn’t get why they don’t just work harder. Like her parents.

I mentioned above her internalized-homophobia, so there’s that as well.

Part of her has a hard time looking at the bad parts of the Ministry, because she works there and Amelia is so supportive. She’d rather just keep her head in the sand when it comes to the not-so morally upright things they do. I think of the line from Rogue One where Jyn says it’s not a problem if you don’t look up [and see the Imperial flag]. That’s Hestia about the Ministry most of the time.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Getting to explore her emotions and feelings about working for both the Order and the Ministry. How complicated that is, how it compromises her at times. It’s a very interesting dynamic.

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL):

This might be something the Amelia mun and I work out, but I absolutely want Amelia to find out at some point. And to explore how that changes their relationship. Or even if someone else finds out Hestia is part of the Order.

ANYTHING ELSE? That’s all!

[melanoradrood]

WIP Wednesday

So this is from my Nanowrimo fic, which is the soulmates AU, which is a rewrite of Rogue One, more or less, with Cassian and Jyn as soulmates ( spoiler alert? ). Anyways, I’m pretty sure I have a title locked down, but I’m not going to start posting this fic on AO3 until I get probably another chapter done, just because the chapters are so meaty, BUT, take this little bit from the middle of Chapter 1. Chapter 1 covers Lah’Mu, Kafrene, and Wobani, btw...

Enjoy.

She pretends that her parents are here with them, her father writing away with what little light they have, her mother fixing the hole in Jyn’s leggings. She imagines her doll with her, and imagines that the rocks around her are actually sky, showing the stars.

She closes her eyes, and she tells herself the constellations, as if she can see them. She whispers them to herself, and pretends like someone, maybe even her soulmate, can hear her.

She’s so cold, so wet in this place. A storm has been brewing overhead, and despite the fact that she is within a cave, underground, the water runs, and it drips, drips onto her skin, onto her cot, onto her clothes. The longer she remains wet, the colder she gets, and she shivers, trying to hide under every blanket. The weather only gets worse, and the darkness never seems to stop.

Three days, three long days, and then, the hatch opens above her head. She recognizes the face immediately - he’s a friendly one, but she gives no response, save to climb up the ladder, her bag on her back. He does not look surprised to see that she is alone, and when she climbs out of the hole, they close the cover, although no one will be seeking shelter there again.

There’s a ship, with three big men with him, waiting at the mouth of the cave. They all look her over, tiny thing that she is, but she lifts her chin, raising herself up with all of the strength of her mother. Her mother never let anyone look down at her, and they give her a nod before she turns and looks at the one that came for her, Saw.

“They shot her,” she says, and there’s sadness in the man’s eyes. Pity, perhaps… or maybe understanding.

“And your father?”

She shakes her head - she doesn’t know the answer to that, not for fact, but she knows what she suspects. They wanted him - wanted his research, wanted his work. They would take him alive, if they could, and her father was not one to fight. He was likely still alive.

“How did you get away?” he asks, and her eyes go wide with surprise - she had done as told, had run when told, so how- “Your face, were you struck?”

She touches at her eye, where he gestures, then lets out another shake of her head. There’s no pain there, but she can imagine what it is - her soulmate. They must have gotten into another fight.

“My... “ She shows him her hands, where the knuckles are scraped and bruised. Saw gives her a nod, then sets a hand on her shoulder, leading her to the ship.

“My Papa… he’ll have a scar, where they shot her, won’t he?”

Saw is quiet for a long moment as they walk up the ramp, and he settles her into a seat in the back, sliding her bag under the chair. He then kneels in front of her, taking her hands in his.

“Most likely, yes. A mark where she was shot, to show the pain within his soul.”

“Will the mark hurt?” she asks, and it feels like a stupid question, but her father had reared back from what looked like pain when her mama was struck.

“The soul is what aches,” Saw answers wisely, as though he has known that pain, has felt that loss. “The wound is only a sign of the part of him that is now broken.”

Jyn nods, then looks down at her knuckles, scraped and marked.

“I never want to meet my soulmate. They make you do stupid things…”

She doesn’t want to think that her mama was stupid, not when she was so brave. Perhaps, if her mama had struck down the man in white, the troopers might have left her papa alone… but how could her mama think that she might fight against all of those fighters and lived? Her mama had fought for nothing, and now she was dead.

“My child… you will meet them one day, and you will only feel complete with them. It is a gift from the Force, one which you cannot fight… you are young, still, and we can talk on it later. Close your eyes and rest.”

She nods, sniffling a little, and Jyn realizes then that she’s crying, tears running down her cheeks. She was supposed to be brave, and here she was crying. Her hand runs under her eyes, brushing them away, and then her hand goes to her neck, to her mama’s necklace.

Her necklace, now.

Her eyes go towards the viewport, and as they take off from the planet, she can see in the distance that her house is now a ruins. There’s nothing left on Lah’mu, it seems. Nothing but ash, and dirt, and tears.

Her eyes close after a long moment, and she tries to wash it all away, to forget everything, to forget the past. She cannot change what has happened to her…

Ash… dirt… tears… and memories…

Dirt… sweat… tears…

Running… dripping…

Her eyes fly open, and for half a second, Jyn thinks she might be back in that cave, deep underground. Her next thought is that someone has come for her, and that this time, it’s not a friend. When she sits up, though, and realizes that the wetness on her skin is from the dripping ceiling, and that she’s no longer on Lah’mu…

Her hand reaches out to grab the rag she had left drying in the small space that is hers. It’s damp, but it’s better than letting whatever liquid drips from the floor above remain on her skin. Her eyes flick over towards her cellmate, still sleeping.

A guard walks by, but Jyn knows that it’s the middle of the night, and that it’s only memories, memories that haunt her, memories of a lifetime ago, of a girl that no longer exists. Her mama is long dead, her papa is long gone, and Saw had abandoned her, left her behind.

Everyone left her behind, everyone save for…

She looks down at her hand, sees a familiar bite on it, the bite from a blaster, used in close range, as a pistol. Sometimes, whoever her soulmate is, they grip the blaster too tight, the firing catching back on tender skin. There hasn’t been a mark in some time…

They recently shot someone. She tries to not concentrate on that too hard.

Her gaze goes out of the cell, and she tries to clear her mind. Her parents, Saw, her soulmate… none of them matter. All that matters is that she has been caught, captured by the Empire. They do not know her true name, but she knows that the name Erso means something to the empire.

If they find out her real name, find out who she really is…

A prison camp on Wobani will be the least of her worries.

For the first time in her life, Jyn is caught, trapped. There’s no way out, there’s no backup plan, no rescue crew. She’s alone. Entirely alone. And no one is coming to save her.

...

There’s a hunger deep within him, but it is not his own. Cassian has to ignore it as he moves through the busy crowd, glancing down at his hands, checking that his gloves are in place. It wouldn’t do for someone, a stormtrooper, to see the dark ring around his wrists. Granted, those marks were also not his own, but then they would ask for scandocs, and well… better to get in and out, without being spotted.

The stink in the air is nearly unbearable, but he’ll be off this piece of junk soon, heading back towards Base, or wherever the intel takes him. He hopes that Tivik is good on his word, because he keeps hitting dead ends. Jedha, though… Jedha is overrun with the presence of the Empire, and for no valid reason. Something is happening on Jedha. He just needs to find out what.

The smell of food makes him feel ill, and he knows he has eaten enough to sustain him recently, but it doesn’t help when he still feels hunger. His thoughts wander for a moment, where are they, that they’re so hungry, that they’re kept in shackles - no. No, he doesn’t have time for thoughts such as that. Things like soulmates… they have no place in a war. Those are for dreamers and fools. Nothing more.

His gaze flicks down the main street as Cassian reaches the alley where they agreed to meet, and he sees no troopers facing towards him - not that a man going down an alley is much concern, but he wants to be aware, wants to know if any are following him. He had been careful, as always, but… well, it was his job to be careful, to aware. He was good at what he did, the best, in fact.

You had to be the best, otherwise, you ended up dead.

The man is where he said he would be, and Cassian tries to put on an easy smile. There’s stress written on Tivik’s face, a sign that the intel, it has to be good. No one gets nervous sharing details about nothing.

His gaze goes back towards where he came from, and no eyes search him out. Stepping forward, he hopes that they will be out of the way… away from interruptions.

“I was about to leave,” Tivik says, and Cassian can only shrug, the grin tightening.

“I came as fast as I could.” And he had. He had had to dodge patrols to get there, but he had half run, when able. The news had to be good, the intel worth it - it was worth running there for. He pulls off his gloves, trying to get relaxed, to slow the man down, and he shoves them into his jacket pocket, out of the way. His wrists burn, but he ignores them.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

(1/2) I agree with everything you say but I'm too afraid to say so myself. Especially because if you don't agree 100% with how Rey is being portrayed, folks think you're being misogynistic. I wish we could be more open to discussion. You can love a movie or a character and still don't agree with certain aspects of them. For example, yes, Kylo became Supreme Leader, but his "victory" was undermined 5 minutes later when Luke trolled him in front of the fo and what was left of the resistance.

continued: (2/2) His win felt like a loss, which is a good thing for redemption, but it means two failures in a row nonetheless. In other hand, Rey’s biggest loss was being wrong about Ben Solo and her parents. Yes, she made mistakes but they didn’t bring her consequences she wasn’t able to overtake in the same movie. At the end, her bad choices don’t stop her from becoming the resistance savior. It feels like she can’t do no wrong, which makes it hard to sympathize with her as much as I can with Kylo.

*

Well, I think the problem why people are a bit more “jumpy” is that there have been a lot of bad takes - on both sides of the debate. I’ve seen some pretty bad anti-Rey/pro-Ben takes myself. Like, I prefer seeing them as two flawed individuals who ended up fucking it all up because of their flaws, and because of a lack of communication? 

I might also be influenced by how star-crossed lovers stories usually go: it often happens that lovers in star-crossed romances are separated due to outdated or bad societal conventions - that’s actually EXACTLY what happened with Anakin and Padmé. And honestly, if I was writing IX, I’d follow Rose’s words about “saving what we love, not destroying what we hate” to heart, and have the war end not by the Noble Resistance/Rebellion defeating the Evil First Order/Empire (because c’mon, it’s the OT all over again, you can do better), but by people overcoming their differences, working together, and ultimately show how absurd war is. 

That’s what TLJ was about, especially in respects to the Finnrose plot: both Finn and Rose discover that the people behind the war machine don’t care about who’s the bigger dog in the galaxy and all that matters is your own personal gain - and the First Order, as well as the Resistance, all play a part in oiling that machine. Not to mention that Solo was basically an introduction to the underground crime world, who also make their profits out of weapon dealing, so I don’t think that was a coincidence. 

That’s not to say you shouldn’t stand against oppression and injustice - you absolutely should, since the opposite would be going against what Star Wars has always been about. 

But war is what has always been the cause of every single trial the heroes went through: war is what provoked the Clone Wars, initiated the enslavement of millions of men because they were clones; war is what led Ahsoka Tano to leave what was the equivalent of her family behind after the irreparable had been done; war is what eventually drove Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader, and killed Padmé; war is why Luke and Leia grew up and never knew who their real parents are; war is why Luke’s aunt and uncle were killed in a gruesome matter, just for being indirectly implied with a matter they wanted no part in; war is what killed not only Leia’s adoptive parents, but her entire planet as well; war is what killed people like Jyn, Cassian or Bodhi before they were given a chance to actually live a peaceful life; war is eventually what tore Han and Leia apart, destroyed Luke’s work of a lifetime, and drove Ben to the Dark side. 

So… wouldn’t it be fitting that the war is won not by a big epic battle of good vs. evil… but people coming together to pursue a common goal, and not care about clans and factions and all the like… but like the Rogue One team, do it even if you have the whole galaxy against you because it’s the right thing to do? 

If it was up to me, I’d have Rey, Ben, Finn and Rose team up and plan to take down the First Order from the inside, because it’s the best way at this point to end it all. Rey does it because she has decided to become part of Ben’s life and, to become part of his family and also finding the belonging she always longed for, she helps take down the very organization that tore them apart in the first place, but this time, with Ben, without any conditions, as equals. Ben does it because he realizes on his own that like for people like Finn, Rose, and all the Stormtroopers, the First Order has ruined his life. And if he wants to help establish a new order and make the galaxy a better place, the First Order has to go too. Finn does it because he doesn’t want to fight against his brothers and sisters in arms, and because they, too, want to be free and have lives of their own. And he accepts to do it alongside Ben because he may not understand why Rey loves him, but he trusts her. And Rose does it because in every child who has been indoctrinated by the First Order, she can see Finn in them, and with her planet being enslaved, she realizes that, well, it could have been her. 

* 

And to get to the rest of your ask… yes, Ben is sympathetic because as much as he’s an asshole, you understand why he’s the way he is. Of course he messes up. Of course he gets humiliated. He needs all those things in order to be able to grow, understand his mistakes, and learn. THAT’S what makes him sympathetic. 

Rey… obviously, she learns what really went down between Luke and Ben, which makes her realize that when it comes to heroes and villains, it’s not always the way it seems. So far, so good, and it’s actually brilliantly done. The problem is that as I said for her rescue plan, while her heart was totally at the right place, the plan itself… honestly needed more work, and Ben pretty much had to save her ass. 

And look, I’m a-okay with Rey being impulsive, jumping to conclusions, heading head first into trouble - it makes a lot of sense with her background and characterization. It doesn’t make her unlikeable AT ALL, it just makes her a fully fledged character. The problem here is when those flaws aren’t treated as such - and that’s what’s frustrating, lol. But ya know, it’s a writing problem. Not a problem with the character specifically. 

So if she can do no wrong… how can you “sympathize” with her? Because “sympathizing” with someone implies that either they’ve done something bad, either they’re involved in a touchy situation, either they’re affected by a bad situation. 

And sure, you can argue she got her heart broken - but my issue is that the movie doesn’t show that. All it took was one little scene where she leaves the Throne Room teary-eyed, looking at Ben but turning away. Instead, straight after the Throne Room fight… next time we see her is her being all happy-go-happy while shooting TIE fighters. So because of that, it makes her look like she doesn’t care - which is not what you should be going for, lol. 

But again, to know whether it’s a bad writing decision or not, we’ll have to wait until IX. But all I want Rey to realize is that in order to help Ben, and help the galaxy against the First Order, she can’t drag Ben around, and she can’t expect him to just follow her around because she thinks she’s right or her heart is at the right place. She needs to work WITH HIM. Ya know, do the couple thingy, like, TALK. COMMUNICATE. 

[thegiddyowl]

Diagnosis: Lovesick

Here it is! My May the 4th Rebelcaptain fic for @cats-and-metersticks! Got it done just under the wire too.

The prompt was “hurt/comfort” but I know what she likes lol. This is set in the same universe as the Highschool AU. Read it on AO3!

May the 4th be with you!

It wasn’t until she reached the second flight of stairs when Jyn realized that she had been dating Cassian for a little over two months and had never been inside his apartment before. She had driven by it only once when Papa dropped Cassian off back when he finished his second swimming lesson with her. Of course, he had never been in her house either. It wasn’t like their relationship was secret, but they didn’t announce it 24/7 by making out in the hallway or grabbing each other’s butt randomly.

Why did her train of thought always end in butts lately?

Jyn reached the third flight of stairs and slowly made her way down the hall to find apartment 305. When she reached the red door with flecks of white paint near the peephole, she checked her backpack to make sure that yes, Cassian’s homework was in there. Bringing weekend English homework to a sick boyfriend was the perfect excuse to visit his home, maybe even get to know his grandmother a bit better. After inhaling a calming breath, Jyn knocked three times.

Nothing.

She knocked again before pressing her ear against the door and maybe hearing some movement inside.

“Hello? This is Jyn, and I have something for Cassian.”

Was that a cat crying inside? Cassian never said anything about owning a cat. The sound of the door unlocking made her jump and hold herself up straight with a smile on her face.

Cassian opened the door, and he looked like death. He held a pale blue blanket tightly over his hunched shoulders with one hand while he clung to the door knob with the other. The bright pink around his watery eyes and running nose made the rest of him look like a dull sort of pale. She knew he was sick, but not one step away from the grave sick.

“Holy shit,” she said.

He drew up a half-smile. “You have my homework?”

“Yeah, it’s right here,” she said as she handed it to him. “Where’s your grandma?”

“Texas.”

“Texas?”

“Yeah, for the weekend. Visiting my great aunt for her birthday. I would’ve invited you over, but then…” He turned away from her to cough behind the door. “Sorry.”

She shook her head and leaned towards the threshold.

“Do you need anything, or do you want me to stay?”

“I can…,” he stopped to hack his lungs out again. “I can take care of myself. Thank you, though.”

“Well, okay. Text me if you need anything.”

Jyn slowly walked back to the staircase, racking her brain of anything else she could do to help him. It honestly hurt seeing him so sick, and to top it off with his grandma being away too. What happened if he ran out of medicine? Just before he had closed the door, he looked like he might collapse. If she had to guess, he probably had the flu, and she remembered how hard it was to even be able to crawl to the bathroom and not pass out from dizziness.

Not knowing what else to do, Jyn pulled out her phone to text him that, seriously, she’ll do whatever she can to help him, but saw that he beat her to the punch:

Cassian

4:30 pm

Jyn wait

I went back to bed and left the door unlocked

I’m sorry can you lock it plz

4:31 pm

OMW

She jumped back up the stairs two at a time and rushed back to his apartment. The door opened up easily for her when she twisted the knob. She reached around and flicked the lock, but before she closed the door, she called out, “Ok, I locked it.”

No answer. Probably dead asleep already. She opened the door wider and stole a glimpse of the small apartment.

“Cassian? Anyone?”

She stepped inside to take just a peek of the living room that fed into the kitchen, a half wall separating the tile from the white carpet. The cozy living room was stuffed with an old green couch and a matching chair, their wood edgings chipped and scarred from age, a T.V. stacked on top of stand fit to bursting with DVDs, and a rectangular coffee table at the center of it all. Doilies draped over the backs and armrests of the furniture, a doily hung half over the T.V., and a wide square doily served as a table runner for the coffee table. What caught Jyn’s eye was the small alter tucked in the corner of the room. She closed the door quietly before she approached it. A hand-painted statue of the Virgin Mary stood at the very center of the table, high above the short candles, a small vase of white flowers, rosaries, beaded crosses, and a framed black and white photograph of an elderly man on her right and a color photo of a younger couple on her left. His grandfather, she assumed, and his parents.

Jyn shoved her hands in her pockets to squash the urge to touch anything on the alter. It was bad enough she was breaking and entering, and she didn’t need to make it worse by disturbing something so obviously sacred.

Jyn nearly jumped out of her skin when Cassian groaned from the back of the apartment,.

“Cassian? Are you ok?” she asked as she followed his voice down the hall.

“Jyn? Jyn, ’sthat you?”

She went into his room, the only room with the door wide open, and saw Cassian trying to grab a blanket he had managed to kick off but his bed was up too high for him to reach it. Jyn picked it up and tucked it over him and the three blankets he shivered under while trying not to knock over the small trash can overflowing with tissues.

“Yeah. I said that I locked the door, but I didn’t hear you answer so I got worried. Cassian?”

“Hm?” he grunted.

“When is your grandma coming back?”

“Sunday night,” he croaked.

Jyn surveyed his spare room, and felt a little jealous that even on his death bed his room was cleaner than hers, save for the few used tissues that fell out of the trash can and the pile of empty tissue boxes on his night stand table. She looked back at him, saw how weak and exhausted he was from that small walk to the front door and back.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay over?” she murmured.

“I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’ve got the flu shot, so I’m good. I’ll just tell my dad that I’m staying over at Leia’s and she’ll cover for me so I can stay the night.”

He unglued his eyes and stared at her, and she could almost see the internal war going in his head until he pulled up a half-grin.

“I look that bad, huh?”

“You look like shit.”

He didn’t respond to that, his eyes drifting shut again. Jyn touched his burning forehead, and he spilled out crackling whimpers. Maybe she could get him a cold compress in the meantime, help him sleep easier.

“Stay, please?” he whimpered when she removed her hand.

“Yeah,” she whispered, eyeing the thermometer on his nightstand. “Have you taken your temperature?”

“I can’t remember.”

While he took his temperature, she found the washcloths and chilled one under cold water from the bathroom tap. She returned to his room with the cold compress and at tall glass of water. Even though he looked like he had been sweating, his forehead felt a little dryer than she expected. He let the thermometer fall out of his mouth, but picked it up with trembling fingers to put back on the table.

“What’s the verdict?” she asked, then read the digital number, “Oh my god--102.4.”

Cassian said nothing, since he fell asleep again. He stirred with a relieved groan when Jyn pressed the washcloth on his forehead.

“Your fever is way high. Too high. Maybe we should take you to the hospital.”

“No,” he grunted, then winced when he swallowed. He pawed at knob on his table drawer. “I have medicine.”

Jyn opened the drawer expecting to have to dig through a mound of crap like she did with her own drawers, but there was only a comb, a pair of nail clippers, a couple of pens, and a bottle of ibuprofen. Needing to have something to eat with the medicine or risk throwing up everything, Jyn made him some toast and sat on the edge of his bed making notes of what he needed between bites and sips of water: cough drops, throat drops, soup (there was a Chinese place nearby that made really good egg drop soup that Cassian was willing to try), and probably some more tissues. There was money in a coffee can on top of the fridge she could take, but to leave the receipt on his table so he could explain to his grandma later. After refreshing his compress, she left him to sleep and called Leia to pick her up.

Fifteen minutes later, Jyn and Leia were on their way to Jyn’s place in Leia’s silver Prius.

“Yeah, I’m gonna stay the night at Leia’s.  I’m heading home now to get my stuff for practice. I won’t be late, I promise. Okay, Papa. See you tomorrow night,” Jyn said crisply before hanging up. “Thanks again, Leia.”

“Well, it’s lucky that my parents are out of town this weekend, so your alibi is airtight.”

Jyn let out a sigh of relief that twisted in to a groan. “Just say it.”

Leia grinned. “Say what?”

“You know what.”

“That this wasn’t how you imagined spending the night at Cassian’s?”

Jyn groaned again as Leia laughed all the rest of the way to Jyn’s house.

*

When Jyn returned to the apartment, she heard Cassian speaking low and soft. After shrugging off her backpack, setting her small suitcase down, and taking off her shoes, she carried her shopping bags to his room. She hung back when Cassian laid on his side, his eyes closed as he spoke into the phone. Her nose twitched from the sharp smell of Vicks Vapor rub.

“Sí, estoy tomando agua,” he his breathing hitched and he hacked out a cough until he sat up to sip some more water. Cassian smiled at her as she sat down, then frowned when he continued, “Abuela…n-no, Abuela, no soy a levantarme de la cama.”

She texted Leia on her phone while she waited, enjoying listening to him speak in Spanish. She didn’t hear him speak it often, but when he did she liked how playful he sounded as he stretched out his vowels and rolled his r’s and spoke at nearly a mile a minute. In English he spoke much more carefully and seriously, even when he was messing around with her. The only language she knew was level 3 French, and she sounded like a toddler during oral exercises.

“Adiós, Abuela,” Cassian said sweetly before hanging up the phone. “Thank God you came back, Jyn.”

She grinned. “Was that your grandma?”

“Yeah. She was checking up on me.”

“These were the cough drops you wanted, yeah?” she said as she handed the bright yellow bag to him.

“Yes, thank you. Sorry, I know the rub smells awful.”

She shrugged it off. “How about you take your temperature again?”

He stuck the thermometer back in his mouth and struggled to open the bag until Jyn tore the perforated plastic edge off. He slowly unwrapped one of the menthol candies until the thermometer beeped with a new temperature of 101.9.

“That’s good, at least. Hopefully it keeps going down. Would you like some soup now, or some water?”

“Water, please.”

Before she’d forget, she put the receipt on his table and stashed the change back into the coffee can when she went to refill is glass. When she returned, he was already breathing deeper as he sucked on the cough drop.

“So what did you tell your grandma?” she asked him, sitting by his knees on the edge of his bed.

“I said that I would call Kay or Bodhi if I needed anything. You?”

“My dad’s out of town, so I told him I was sleeping over at Leia’s.”

“That was lucky.”

An awkward silence settled over them as the gravity of Jyn staying over at Cassian’s apartment finally made its impact. Jyn teased the fringed edge of one of his blankets drawn over him, a dark blue wool blanket with bands of black and white breaking the color like crests on a wave. Cassian’s hand peeked out from under the covers and grasped her hand.

“Thank you for helping me,” he said, his dark eyes shining in the dim light.

She leaned over and kissed his hot, greasy forehead, tasting the sweat in his stringy bangs. Something unexpectedly light fluttered in her ribcage.

“Hope you get better soon,” she said as she sat up. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”

He squeezed her hand once more, letting it drag as she pulled herself away from his bedside. He fell back asleep with half a grin. Jyn left a crack open in the door as she closed it in case he yelled out for something, then scrubbed her hands and arms in the bathroom before going to the kitchen to pound down some orange chicken and rice. She moved the stack sales ads off the small kitchen table pushed up against the wall before sitting down to eat, the tangy sweet of the orange chicken already masking the new scents of the cozy apartment. Cassian didn’t make a peep while she ate and watched videos on her phone to crowd out the relative silence. Someone upstairs was vacuuming and a bus chugged down the street.

Eventually Jyn moved to doing on her homework, which was just a final draft for an essay on Jane Eyre they had been working for the last few weeks. After an hour of struggling with it she moved on to math and science, completing just as the clock hanging next to the kitchen cabinet struck ten. Christ, how did it get so late so fast without her realizing? Jyn shoved her stuff back in her backpack before getting her pajamas and toothbrush out of her suitcase and checking on the still sleeping Cassian before going into the bathroom to change.

One wouldn’t expect to get flustered in a locked bathroom, but Jyn couldn’t shake the feeling as she shucked off her day clothes and threw on her night ones as quickly as possible, like he was going to burst in the room before she finished buttoning her gray night shirt. She kept the door locked as she brushed her teeth, but when she finished she mechanically opened medicine cabinet and saw the razor, the stout green and black can of shaving cream, the chunky gray roll on--and shut the door, feeling guilty about trespassing. Sure, she’d seen the similar sort of hygiene products in her father’s medicine cabinet, but it was weird seeing it Cassian’s. It reminded her all over again that she was staying by herself at his home, and if he wasn’t sick…

She spat out her toothpaste and rinsed her mouth out. They had only dated for a couple of months, and both silently agreed to take these slow, to not rush into being intimate. Jyn took down her ponytail and brushed her hair out, her eyes roving over the small bathroom. She was making a big deal out of nothing! He shared the bathroom with his grandmother, for Christ’s sake, even though she felt like she was trapped in this tile room with his overwhelming scent of musk and grass and--

And she needed to get out.

Jyn stumbled out, Cassian’s door still closed thank God, and headed back into the living room. Still she felt cloistered by his scent, so she cracked open the window and wafted the fresh air in until her thrumming heart calmed down. When she sank down on the couch, she heard a door down the hall squeaked open, a couple of thudding footsteps, and another door opened and closed. The walls were thinner than she realized when she could hear Cassian pee just a few feet away from her. He flushed and, instead of going back to bed, shuffled down the hall in slow, groaning steps.

Cassian emerged still flush in the face and wearing a thin sheen of sick sweat on his cheeks. He cinched the blue wool blanket hanging over his shoulders with one hand while the other leaned against the wall and skated over to the back of the chair for balance.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“Hey.”

He plopped next to her on couch, his head lolling from exhaustion. Jyn scooted closer to him

“I brought soup back if you want it. Or do you want tea?”

“I want to die.”

“You can’t die on me yet. You still have to take me to prom.”

He smiled and snorted a laugh. “Soup, then. Please.”

After he directed her to the mugs, Jyn heated up the egg drop soup in one and poked him awake before giving it to him. She sat right next to him, keeping an eye on his grip.

“This is actually pretty good.”

“Yeah, and it’s good if you have a sore throat.”

He leaned into her. “It’s freezing in here. Why is the window open?”

Now it was her turn to flush.

“Because it’s stuffy and you’re sick. I can close it.”

“No, leave it open. I don’t want you to get sick. It sucks and everything hurts.” He sipped more of the soup, and grumbled, “Everything fucking hurts.”

His hand started to shake, so she held the bottom of the mug until he let go. At least he drank most of his soup. If he kept it down and slept some more, he’d probably feel better in the morning.

“Last time I got really sick, I couldn’t even walk. I had to crawl to the bathroom,” Jyn said as she rubbed his back. “My mom would get me egg drop soup and we’d watch movies when I was awake. Do you want to watch a movie?”

They ended up watching Warm Bodies, probably because Cassian related with the walking dead at that point, but also because it was a funny movie. Jyn turned off the lights, closed the window, and sat right next to him. He sagged against her shoulder, then she nudged him into resting his head in her lap. She sat straight up, combing his hair with her fingers until her shoulders slumped against the couch.

“This is better,” he mumbled. “Do you think in fifty years we’ll be like this?”

“That’d be nice,” she answered, feeling the light flutter in her chest again.

Cassian’s eyes flitted to the alter before he nuzzled against her knees. “It would.”

Exhaustion does funny things to a person.

Jyn woke up on the couch, the red and white menu screen playing quietly in the background. Cassian’s head rested on her abdomen, and his body slept between her legs. She breathed slowly, his head rising a little with every breath, but he didn’t seem to notice that she was awake. He just continued to snooze on, one hand curled around her waist. It was so adorable she couldn’t help but kiss him on the top of his head. She could smell the vapor rub, the cough drop, the shaving cream, the deodorant, and beneath all of that, his scent that belonged to no one else.

She kissed his head until she drifted off again, waking only when Cassian whispered her name while he played with the ends of her hair. Feeling his forehead, his fever was still there but not as hellish as the night before.

Jyn, however, felt a little scratchiness in her throat.

[rotzaprachim]

new possible aspect of extended andor-erso family Dynamics include galen and lyra’s protracted awkward divorce (it starts to happen the moment that jyn is out of the house, either age, like, 6 or 18 you can decide) where galen for whom she’s like he only real human connection to the Outside World is like *this is Fine* *opens vodka bottle* meanwhile lyra keeps talking about living her Best Life. she’s actually finishing her geology master’s degree that got put on pause by galen, galen’s career, and jyn. she’s invested in a bunch of new-age hippy sweaters and scented candles and taken up hot yoga. she’s got the space!joy of sex and assorted manuals on the female orgasm sitting up on the bookshelf with all her baking books. she goes hillwalking for weeks at a time. she keeps bringing her collection of nubile younger lovers ‘round to family events and they are all her age or younger, which is to say, at least eleven years younger than galen 

[anghraine]

“one wave short of a shipwreck” - fic

wtf, self

fandom: Star Wars

characters: Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor; K-2SO, Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe; Jyn/Cassian

verse: the everybody lives ?kidfic??, apparently, though it belongs to a wider verse that involves ... uh, a fic I’ve never posted (or finished), so ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

length: 1200 words

stuff that happens: Jyn and Cassian after the war; references to psychological damage, the sequel trilogy, and pregnancy.

I.

They all knew the end of the war would be difficult for Cassian, and none knew it better than K-2SO, in his own estimation. All of them had certain inconvenient adaptations to make, of course, but none possessed quite the same disadvantages as Cassian.

After all, the Guardians of the Whills and Bodhi Rook had functioned in civilian status for longer periods of their respective existences than not, and in any case typically served in non-combat capacities; Jyn Erso spent years of her early maturity as a petty thief, with few aspirations beyond the convenience of the moment; K-2SO’s own security systems were not specifically programmed for war, however useful his contributions. But Cassian retained no alternate data.

“If you are considering a return to Coruscant,” he informed Jyn—who, by this point, K-2SO classified as a) an occasional threat to his decisions, b) a frequent co-conspirator, and c) generally the organic counterpart to himself—“then the probability of assimilation to human-typical behaviour may be elevated, but—”

“We’re not typical,” she said in her abrupt way, “and I’m thinking of something quieter.”

With more relief than he cared to articulate, K-2SO said, “I concur.”

II.

Cassian welcomed peace—he did. It was only difficult because it was so new and unfamiliar, and he didn’t know how people went about making choices without significant purposes in mind; and, when he felt like being honest with himself, because everything that had ever troubled him seemed to come cascading down at once, leaving him as much on edge as in his deepest covers, or alternately as blank as after a murder, like he controlled his body through some remote mechanized system.

He knew why Jyn wanted to hole up in a distant corner of the galaxy, backed by Kay. He didn’t talk about it, none of them did, but he knew, and they all knew that, too. Even so, while he might have taken it as insulting or embarrassing—and did, a little—he realized that he wasn’t … he wouldn’t … that they all looked for a deeper peace than the Republic’s.

None of them cared for the unfamiliar at any rate, or for people beyond their tight circle of family. If he sometimes felt raw terror or utter vacancy at nothing, Jyn could turn furious at the drop of a pin, all three ready to spring into action, and—some quiet really would be best, for all of them.

III.

To Jyn’s profound relief, Cassian steadied after the first terrifying crash: not soon, but sooner than she’d anticipated, from what she saw with the Partisans. They saw Bodhi often, Baze and Chirrut often enough, but not many others, the three of them scraping through one day after another on a planet well beyond Scarif and Tatooine, and a house as safe as Saw Gerrera’s daughter, an Imperial security droid—and eventually, a Rebel spy—could make it.

After the first few months, or perhaps a year or two (Jyn didn’t remember that period with any kind of exactness), they accepted some tenuous contact with the authorities they trusted most. Their familiarity with countless protocols across countless systems turned out to be more valuable than either ever expected, and almost inevitably, they found themselves tracking down more information for Mothma, Organa, Willard, the rest. But they stayed away from any hubs of activity for a long time, and would only pass through when absolutely necessary for a good while longer than that.

Sometimes, Jyn could almost see the fault lines behind Cassian’s eyes fading, if not vanishing; sometimes, Jyn felt the same thing in her own mind, gradations forming between contentment and joy, irritation and rage, like something snapped growing back together.

She knew they’d be all right, in the end.

IV.

During the war, Jyn and Cassian never thought of children; privately, they were appalled that other Rebels did, actively choosing to bring probable victims into the galaxy. Princess Leia, say: they’d had a better opinion of her than that, all the more with the unsteady life, in the thick of war and then reconstruction, that she and Solo would bring to any child, and on top of it, the galaxy’s laser-focused scope on her family;—certainly nothing about Ben Organa Solo led them to alter their judgment.

During the war, they also never wanted children, pragmatics aside; the idea belonged to a remote and unreal picture of the future, not the actual life they’d carved for themselves in the galaxy as it was.

That formed their disinclination more than any personal antipathy; Jyn liked children, Kay only dimly grasped the concept of them, and if Cassian had never cared much about any particular child, he cared deeply about their welfare in general.

After the war, struggling with an unfamiliar galaxy and their own minds, they didn’t soon think of it, either; even later, all right never did mean children for them. It only made children possible, in a distant way, instead of an idea to be instantly rejected, even in thought.

By then, they had developed the habit of putting their thoughts into words, when it mattered: so when the idea first drifted to mind, they talked of it, and settled on the only conclusion they could allow—maybe, someday.

V.

Bodhi had lived a life of frequent and staggering surprises. Few, however, shocked him so much as an occasion about eleven years after Scarif, when he reached Jyn and Cassian’s in time for dinner, and she announced over the table,

“We’re reproducing, by the way.”

Bodhi stared at her, mind struggling to shape its understanding around this.

“You’re pregnant?!”

“Yes,” they said, the unspoken ‘obviously’ clinging to their chorus.

Bodhi sat very still, struggling to grasp the very prospect of this, much less of Jyn and Cassian as parents to an actual human.

“Why?”

VI.

Baze only had so many pleasures in life, but one of them was realized when Bodhi blurted out upon finding them in the Temple,

“Did you know that Jyn is having a baby?”

Chirrut looked absolutely gobsmacked; Baze felt sure he did, too—he certainly felt it—but that could only take a distant second to the pure beauty of that moment.

“No,” Chirrut admitted. “You do mean Jyn Erso?”

Since they didn’t know any other Jyns, Baze just rolled his eyes and muttered,

“Didn’t think they’d be that careless.”

“Kaytuesso says they’ve been planning for almost three years,” said Bodhi, with a sideways glance at Chirrut and a tentative grin. “Well, it’s Jyn and Cassian—of course they have.”

VII.

“You should increase your intake of iron,” Kay told Jyn disapprovingly.

“Thanks for your concern,” said Jyn, “though I’m not sure you know what a child is.”

Kay, nearly vibrating, snapped, “You are hosting Cassian’s next iteration.”

Somehow, this didn’t bother Jyn nearly as much as she would have anticipated; she and Kay had a good relationship these days, but she doubted that even the child would love Cassian as much as Kay did with every wire of his circuitry.

“You realize that they’re going to have as much of me in them as Cassian?” she asked, idly curious.

“Your genetic contribution to the iteration is acceptable,” said Kay, “given that you were created by two of the most accomplished human minds in the galaxy.”

Jyn could easily think of at least a half-dozen sarcastic replies; instead, she laughed.

[stvrcrosscd-blog]

Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand, {FELICITY JONES}. No, that’s a mistake. It’s {JYN ERSO}, they are a {CANON CHARACTER} and come from {ROGUE ONE}. They are {TWENTY-SEVEN} and have no memories. I’ve heard they are {OBSERVANT}, as well {SECRETIVE}. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Welcome to New York, what is your character’s name?

Liana Hallik. 

Sometimes she's Tanith Pontha or Kestrel Dawn, it depends on the day and the person she's talking to.

Her real name is Jyn Erso, but she doesn't exactly share that. 

Her father used to call her Stardust, but if you do it, she'll kill you. Unless you're Cassian I mean...

Where have they been pulled from in their fandom?

After her death on Scarif.

With the curse, how has your character’s life changed?

Jyn is a sassy little shit who pushes everyone away and it’s not interested in having friends, she’s quite a loner.

Both her parents died when she was just a baby, or so she had been told. She was an orphan girl who lived with many foster families, but they never felt part of them. 

Until she was adopted by Saw Guerrera when she was just seven years old. He was an old cop that trained her to protect herself.

He got in some trouble and, to protect her, left her.

Sixteen-year-old Jyn refused to go back into the system, so she ran away.

She got herself a good job and a small apartment.

She never considered going to college, so after high school graduation, she decided to just find a way to get money and survive.

Not so legally at first tho, so she avoids the police because of her records.

She goes around saying that she only works because booze costs money. In reality, she actually likes helping people. She won't tell you that, of course, this softie will never admit she is a softie.

She has a dog named Tinta, just like the doll she had when she was a child.

Do they have a job, and if so what is it?

Her brilliant mind and good sixth sense helped her to become a private investigator. If you want to find someone, know what they have been doing behind your backs, or anything else, she can find it and tell you in a matter of days.

Is there any other information about your character that members might find helpful?

Listen up, she deserved the world.

Jyn Erso was the daughter of Galen Erso, a brilliant scientist that was forced to work for the Empire. Yes, he created the Death Star.

No, we don't talk about how his weapon killed his own daughter.

When ugly shit Krennic killed her mother Lyra and captured Galen.

She was rescued by Saw and trained to be one more Rebel.

Shit went down and he abandoned her to protect her.

Jyn became a criminal to survive.

Was captured by the Rebel Alliance so she helped them to find Saw and her father.

Got too involved until she became one of them.

Saw her father dying.

Went to Scarif to find the Death Star's plans.

Died in Cassian's arms after everything was said and done and dead.

I have all the feels for her.

[yeomangamer]

After My Father’s Funeral Chapter 1

Summary: Funerals can be stressful, but so can weddings--especially with a family as effed up as theirs. Unfortunately for Leia, she has both to attend in one go. So much for repression. Modern AU 

Pairings: Leia/Han, Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Leia&Han&Luke&Mara&Cassian&Jyn, Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru

Chapter summary: Let the past die, bury it if you have to.

Chapter pairings: Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Past!Leia/Cassian, Luke&Leia&Mara

A/N:  Based on the idea that it would be really traumatizing to be a Skywalker in the modern day.  See Ao3 and FFN versions for full authors notes.

If Leia had learned anything from her albeit limited experience traveling, it was that bureaucracy was a bitch. “Bureaucracy is a lawyer’s best friend, Miss Organa,” her boss, Akbar, had told her. “These people, they try so hard to cover every little crack and crevice, but it’s our job to find where they were wrong.” Today, in-line at the airport, Leia was fairly certain it was the whole idea that was wrong with bureaucracy. After her ticket failed to work, she had to wait in-line to speak with a representative, having already spoken with two other employees and a supervisor. It was as if the universe was preventing her from going home, which she desperately wanted to take as a sign to switch her flight to someplace with tropical beaches. She was even considering Canto Bight, when it was her turn in line.

“Thank you for flying Rebel Air. How can I help you, ma’am?” The smiling woman said.

“Yes, hello, I have a last-minute booking to Naboo, and my tick-“

“We have a policy on exchanging flights for last-minute bookings, ma’am. I’m sorry.” The response was tired, rehearsed, as if countless people had tried to weasel out of the policy of the company.

She sighed inwardly, bidding the dream of the casino goodbye. “I don’t want to exchange, I want to get on my plane, my ticket won’t check me in.”

“How odd, may I see your ticket and some ID, please.” Leia handed both over, and the woman scanned it. “Naboo, huh?”

Leia was not in the mood for smalltalk. “Yep.” The airport had to be the worst place for small talk.

“What brings you there? Big racing down there, I hear.”

“Yeah, yeah, I grew up there. I’m going for family stuff, you know. A funeral and then a wedding.” The representative nodded and smiled knowingly. How ironic, there’s no way she could’ve known.

The computer made a noise, not a good one either, and the rep made a face, and tried again. “Hmmm,” she said. “Odd, let me get my supervisor.”

Leia groaned and laid her face on the counter. She hated to leave her fate in the hands of strangers, without any agency as to getting anywhere. After a few moments, she huffed, trying not to lose her temper. She wasn’t in a hurry per se, but also wasn’t in the mood to spend any more time than she had to with airport employees.

The rep appeared with another employee. “I’m sorry about that Ms. Organa, here’s a new ticket for you, should work now,” the (presumed) supervisor told her, scanning the ticket. There was a happy sounding beep, and she took her ticket with a thanks.

She checked her bags, and sat down at her gate. The tv above the gate was on; she immediately regretted glancing at it.

“…the noted activist, and so-called ‘Champion of Free Speech’ Anakin Skywalker has died. The 65-year old had been battling lung cancer for nearly a decade before passing away at his home in Naboo on Friday. Skywalker first rose to fame as a leader of the Imperialists under the name ‘Vader.’ But Skywalker had moved away from the group in recent years—even calling it a ‘cult’ in one noted interview—to support pro-environmentalist groups. His family asks to make any donations to…”

“Quite the enigma, that man.” The voice made Leia jump, and she looked over to see a man sitting next to her looking at the TV. He saw that she had looked over and continued. “I read his book ‘Anti-anti-‘, and let me say—“ She immediately got up, took her carry-on bag, and moved to sit on the opposite side of the seating area with her back to the stranger. If the man was at all offended by her behavior, she neither knew nor cared.Skywalker certainly had a way of ruining everything, even the flight to his funeral.

The Naboo airport held one of her most treasured memories: when she had parted with her brother, Luke, for the first time since what she had dubbed the Ruling. They who had spent a majority of their formative years apart, only to be reunited at 16 through the worst of all circumstances, left each other for the first time since then in a tearful goodbye at the airport four years ago. At the time, she knew she wouldn’t miss the city, her old college, or even her (recently) ex-boyfriend, but she hated leaving her twin after trying so hard to stay together.

So today it was only fitting that it be Luke’s face to greet her at the gate. Their embrace was tight and full of longing, she hadn’t seen her brother since before they had turned 25. Leia turned and greeted the woman beside Luke with her own tender embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

“Mara, you look so well,” Leia said, gripping her soon-to-be sister-in-law’s forearms.

“Thank you, as do you as always. Thank you for coming sooner than we’d originally talked about, I’m sorry if it spoiled any of your plans.” She blew her red hair out of her face, smiling broadly.

“Well, if they were spoiled it’s how ol’ dad would’ve wanted it,” Leia released Mara and heading towards baggage claim.

“Now, Leia-“ Luke’s voice was a warning, one that she wasn’t about to heed.

“‘Now, Leia’” Leia mockingly repeated. “I promise to keep my comments to myself during the wake and the funeral, but I make no such guarantees about anywhere else.”

She couldn’t hear Luke’s sigh, but she knew it was there. They picked up her bag, and hopped into Luke’s old truck.

“When’re you going to get a new car?” Leia asked. “The windows still roll down.”

“Luke had said something about the end of days, but that is in contention,” Mara joked from the backseat.

Luke only smiled. Leia knew that he wasn’t bothered at all at Mara’s comment, or even at her’s towards Skywalker. Her brother had the most positive temperament of anyone she’d ever met; she resented him just a little for that.

“I hope you don’t mind staying with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru,” Luke said as they crossed over Amidala bridge. The bridge connected the inner city and the boroughs of Naboo, a passion project of their late mother’s. They had named it after her, a symbol of how much she had been universally loved in her local community.

“Of course not,” Leia stated, only lying a little bit. It was difficult to pin blame on anyone for the unpleasantness that had framed the last ten years of her life. Luke was definitely not a candidate, and therefore should not have to suffer her contention. Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were contenders as well as her own dear parents. The only person who Leia could surely, 100%, be blamed was Anakin Skywalker. And blame him she did.

They pulled into the drive-way of the Lars’ Farm, and all three each rolled out of the hot car—Luke’s air conditioning had quit sometime in college. Her Uncle and Aunt greeted her warmly, showing her to the guest room, which had, at one time, been Luke’s room. After the Ruling, Leia had sat with Luke in this very room and imagined their lives together growing up as they might have been. The faces of those who would raise them were blurry, but so many of the memories she’d constructed had felt so real, it was bittersweet to think of her childhood without him. Now the walls were bare of Luke’s Ahch-To and X-wing posters and the room certainly smelled better.

She was debating between living out of her suitcase or unpacking when Luke came in with his hands in his pockets and a peculiar smile on his face. Leia knew that look, as she knew every look--every movement even--of her brother’s. Choice words were about to be said, and she was sure she wasn’t going to like them.

“A bit different from when we were 18,” Luke commented.

“Certainly smells better.” That got a chuckle, but it didn’t really reach his eyes.

“Leia…” She sighed, and crossed her arms. “I’ve never been able to tell you what to do-

“Nor will you ever.”

“-but could you at least keep your comments about dad, our dad, to a minimum? Or at least confine them to just between us?”

“Mara knows perfectly well what I think about your father, no sense in hiding from her.” She tried not to be exclamatory, only firm, in her distinction of “your.”

Luke was not having said distinction. “He was your father too.” His tone was matter-of-fact, not loud.

“No, he wasn’t. A father is there for you, a father teaches you how to ride a bike and playfully threatens your prom date. Anakin Skywalker was not my father.”

Luke sighed, exasperated. “What more could he have done to redeem himself to you?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Well, there’s no use asking that question now as there isn’t anything more he could do. He’s dead.”

“I know that, but what could he have done?”

“Not be a racist? Not inspire god-knows how many to kill? Not left our mother to die? Taken care of us after she died? Oh, and when he didn’t do all those things, how about not putting the fact that we are related to him in the goddamn public record? You know how many opportunities I’ve lost because of him? All a potential connection need do is google my name and right there is ‘daughter of noted activist Anakin Skywalker.’” She stood from the bed, ready to defend her viewpoint in the impending argument.

“You think I haven’t had doors closed in my face too? You really think you’re the only one to suffer?” They weren’t yelling, Luke never yelled. But his voice was firm and contentious.

“No, but you still defend him, he ruined our lives!” Leia didn’t understand how Luke could see the events of the past and come to any other conclusion.

“What would you have done, Leia? If you were in his shoes, what would you have done?” He had always seen the world through their results: Skywalker had brought them back together as brother and sister so ergo Skywalker was good.

“How can you continue to defend him? He’s ruined your wedding!” There were tears in her eyes now, threatening to fall.

“By dying? It’s not like he could choose when-“

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Luke sighed, and she felt the tension drop. Their argument would not escalate further. “Mara and I already live together, and we have the rest of our lives, the wedding is just a day.”

“One of the only days in your life where you have all of your loved ones together in one room.”

Luke shrugged. “Maybe you’re right, maybe he was comforted by the idea that everyone was going to be here anyway.”

Leia bit back her comment, knowing it was no use to argue with him. She sat back down, her temper deflated. Luke kneeled on the bed beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“You have every right to be angry, and I hope one day you decide to let it go. Either way, I’m glad you’re here.” Leia bit back the tears until Luke embraced her and she let them fall, silently crying into his arms.

“Luke, Aunt Beru wants to know-“ Mara said, poking her head into the room. “Oh, sorry. Is everything alright?”

Leia nodded and wiped her face as Luke rubbed her back. “Yeah, it's just a lot, you know, to be back here, in this room. We tried weed in here, one time, did Luke tell you?” Luke was right, there was no use dragging Mara into her trauma.

Luke didn’t seem phased that she had lied about what was going on, and groaned. “Never again, I will never understand the appeal.” The three of them laughed and Leia fingered the duvet cover. She tried to tell herself it was only the jet-lag and airport that had made her so upset.

The Wake was the next day, and flew by before Leia even noticed. Both the funeral and visitation were closed events, invitation only, with enforcers hired to keep any unwanted company out. There was a slight mix-up that involved a Senator from Scarif but was soon sorted out without much hassle. Overall, the night was full of people wishing both her brother and her well. Though the stream of mourners was steady, there couldn’t have been more than a few dozen. Mara had mentioned something about the event conflicting with the races, and Leia laughed to herself that not even her father’s funeral could compete with this town’s obsession with racing. Most of the guests were also wedding guests, and promised to be there in a little over two weeks under much lighter circumstances.

“I hope they all RSPV’d, otherwise it's going to be terribly awkward to turn them away,” Luke said to Mara and Leia during a small break between mourners.

“‘Sorry great-aunt Myla, I know you said you’d be here two weeks ago, but that was then and this was now,’” Mara mimed Luke turning away elderly potential wedding guests. The three all cracked a smile and greeted another couple, Anakin’s former editor and his wife.

They had chosen a closed casket for both events. Still, Leia couldn’t help but glance at the casket every so often with a sick desire to set her eyes on Skywalker one more time. To see if he was really dead? Would she find joy in knowing he’d finally gotten what he’d deserved: a slow death, probably most of it in pain? She snapped her head away and shook her head. Pretty soon, she’d turn out like him: evil.

The funeral was the Friday after. In front of the mirror, Leia was hoping no one would notice that she’d worn the same black dress to both the wake and the funeral. She only had maybe two black dresses to begin with—white was more her color. And, even then, she’d had to pack for nearly a month and could only take so much with her. Besides, she was grieving, right? Who expected someone to be en vogue while in mourning? To finish the outfit, she wore big, dark glasses so that—hopefully—no one saw her rolling her eyes during the ceremony.

The temple was surrounded by natural beauty, flowering trees and even a waterfall. She was sure Luke had picked out this place. Another receiving line, more mourners. After a dozen or so, she was stifling a yawn and excused herself to get some water.

It was on her way down the hall that she ran into someone she had not expected to, and, from the look on his face, he had not expected her either.

“Cassian?” She said, removing her glasses.

“Leia, its good to see you again.” They awkwardly stood in the hallway. Cassian was with a very pretty woman their age, with big blue eyes and somewhat of a European face. If the rumors from Luke were true, then this must be...

“Leia, this is my fiancé, Jyn Erso. Jyn, this is…an old friend, Leia Organa. We went to school together.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Leia said, smiling and extending her hand.

“Ditto.” So she was English. “Sorry about your loss.” She shook Leia’s hand. It shouldn’t feel weird, should it? To meet your ex’s fiancé. She tried to smile and push it out of her mind.

“Thank you both for coming, but, in truth, I had not expected you to be here.”

“It was more for your brother and Mara-“

“And you, of course,” Jyn interjected.

“Of course. You and Luke and Mara, we came to support you. How are you doing?” She couldn’t make out his tone, and therefore if he was referring to her life in general, the funeral, or the wedding. She said as much. Cassian chuckled and Jyn even cracked a smile. “All three, I guess.”

She addressed each in sequence. “Fine, ehh, and fine.”

“We should get together and catch up, the fo- five of us,” Cassian said.

“We’re having a party tomorrow night to celebrate the wedding,” Jyn said. “You’re invited, of course.”

“Well then, of course I’ll come,” Leia assured. The three of them started back towards the entrance where her brother and Mara were waiting.

“And we’ll have to meet, and catch up,” Cassian reminded.

“Yes, catching up, let’s. It was nice seeing you both, I’ll see you in there, and maybe after. Definitely tomorrow.” Leia talked as they walked. She took her place next to Luke as Mara kissed the cheek of some tall scruffy-looking guy. Leia figured he was probably one of her family as she had never seen him before, but thoughts of the man were quickly put out of her mind.

“Cassian! Jyn!” Luke said, shaking the hand of the two, Mara embraced them both.

“It’s great that you’re both here, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Mara told them and Leia nodded, already turning to the next person in line.

The funeral went by also without a hitch, though Leia had her fair share of eye-rolling and snorts—the latter of which she masked as sobs with the help of an acquired tissue. The speaker carefully skidded over Skywalker’s debatable crimes against humanity by simply referring to them as “dark times.” Leia had to pretend to blow her nose to contain the scoff from that one.

Soon enough they were wheeling the casket up the aisle and headed to the cemetery. Only close friends and family were attending, no more than ten or so people. Luke and Mara rode in Leia’s rental rather than Luke’s truck. They were right in the front behind the hearse.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for coming early, Leia,” Luke said, and Mara rubbed his arm.

“No need, I wish I could’ve come sooner and helped out with any affairs that needed to be tended to.”

Luke shrugged. “There wasn’t much to sort, he knew it was the end and had already planned with money set aside. He was in the hospital for the last year, didn’t even have a house or many personal items. No, all he-“ Luke must’ve known that she wouldn’t’ve cared if Skywalker had wanted her at his funeral or not, and amended his statement. “All I wanted was for you to be here.”

“Then I’d do it again, one-hundred times over. Anything for my baby brother.”

Luke smiled. “I’m the oldest.”

“Are not.”

“Are to.”

“I can dig up the pictures of the birth certificates again, if you insist.”

Luke seemed to shrug. “Pictures can be doctored, unlike your attitude.”

That made Leia laugh out loud as they pulled into the cemetery, the loud bell proclaiming their purpose for visiting.

There was a small ceremony at the tomb-site, the speaker inviting anyone to come and say something. Luke gave a small speech, as did a few others, but Leia hardly noticed. She was looking over the rise to the group of men wearing all black who seemed to be staring at them. They had shaved heads. One raised a sign over his head that read: “Long-live the Emperor.” That was enough for Leia.

“Excuse me,” she said quite suddenly as she got up and to the enforcer who’d come with them, directing his attention to the intruders. He quickly spoke on a walkie-talkie, making his way in the direction Leia had pointed.

The group noticed the man heading towards them, and some started to run away. Most stayed put.

“Hold fast, brothers!” one yelled so that even the dead could hear. “They can’t stop our free speech!”

“We aren’t the government, you fucking dickhead! It's a private ceremony, and you’re intruding! Go be a waste of oxygen somewhere else, you ignorant, servile scum!” Leia shouted back.

“It’s you who are the scum! Not giving this great man a proper burial as he outlined in his 1986 manifesto!”

“Tell that to executor of his fucking estate with a will from circa 2014! Leave us to mourn in peace, and let the past die before I kill it myself!” Leia’s throat was hoarse, but she would gladly out-shout a symphony to keep skinheads away from Skywalker’s burial. Not for the sanctity of Skywalker’s grave or anything like that, instead for the sake of peace for those she loved.

“You hear that, she’s threatening me!”

By now the enforcer had caught up to them, and most of the group had fled. But the person conversing with her across the cemetery had to be restrained and escorted out. Leia sat down and with a nod, the speaker continued as if not missing a beat. No one seemed too surprised something like this would happen. All Leia could think was it figured that Skywalker could even ruin his own burial.

They lowered the casket and began burying it. As they did this, Leia made her way over to a different plot, placing the bouquet she had brought with her on the tombstone: “Here lies ORGANA Bail and Breha, loving wife, husband, parents, and friends. May the force be with us all.”

“Hi,” Leia whispered. “It’s been a minute.”

The wind whispered over the peaceful place.

“Wish you were both here, I think about you every day.”

She laid on her back, head on the flat stone as though it were a pillow, and imagined herself there, forever.

“Practicing?” A voice said and she cracked her eye open to see her brother, his tie untied, and dirt on his pants.

She nodded and closed her eyes. She heard the grass rustling as he lay next to her.

“Do you wanna be buried here?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, it’s so peaceful. You’ll be next to me, right?”

“Of course. I’ll even do you one better and split a coffin with you. Save us a lot of money.” With the private ceremony and unlisted grave, there was hardly any money left for the two of them. Leia had felt bad for Luke what with the wedding three weeks away, and had refused what small amount was left for her, insisting he take it.

Leia laughed. “Go out of this life the way we came in?”

Luke also laughed. “I didn’t even think of it that way.”

“Hey, at least we’ll be together. I never wanna not be together, in one way or another.”

Luke sighed in agreement, and took her hand. They stared at the sky together, watching the clouds.

“You two should move to Coruscant, there’s a ton of writing jobs there. And it's not too far from Ahch-To, which I know you love.”

“We’ve talked about it.”

“You should do it.”

“We’ll see.” Luke was silent for another moment. “We should be getting back.”

Leia sighed and got up. “Any more appearances until the wedding?”

Luke looked pensive for a moment as he got up. “Well there’s Cassian and Jyn’s party tomorrow, and our party that we’re throwing and-“

“Ok, ok, I guess I’ll have to always be on my best behavior.” They started walking towards the cars.

“Thanks for getting after those guys,” Luke said after a moment of walking.

“It was my pleasure, I assure you.”

“Never thought you’d defend dad’s right to have some peace.”

“I was thinking mostly about how much I didn’t want to see you try to have a calm discussion with the skin-head before he reset your clock.”

“I could’ve taken them.”

“Sure.”

They reached the cars where most everyone had left, Mara was waiting by the car.

“There you two are, I was beginning to wonder if you’d fallen into an open grave or something,” she said.

“At least then we’d leave this life the way we came in,” Luke joked.

“Gross, you know, there is such a thing as too close, you two.”

“It was Leia’s joke!” Luke said as he claimed the front seat.

They started driving back Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru’s, stopping to get a late lunch.

“You met Jyn, right?” Mara asked from the backseat. Leia nodded.

“Yeah, she and Cassian seem cute together.”

“He’s great. She’s my maid of honor.” Leia nodded. “She seems really nice, kinda quiet. But nice.” “Well, we’ve been through a lot, the two of us. I’d like if you two got along. I know there’s some history between you and Cassian, but-” Leia shook her head emphatically. “There won’t be a problem, I swear.” “You’ll have to meet my best man,” Luke piped up.

“Speaking of someone she might have a problem with,” Mara muttered.

Luke looked over his shoulder at her, but Leia didn’t catch it. He ignored Mara’s comment otherwise. “He’ll be at the party tomorrow.” Leia hummed in agreement. “Try not to kill him, will you? Or at least wait to kill him until after the wedding.”

“I make no such guarantees,” Leia quipped, getting a small laugh. “But I promise to at least try to leave him in one piece for the pictures.” She racked her brain and trying to remember if Luke had said something previously about this guy. Did Luke even mention him at all? He kept up with such a strange crowd since dating Mara, who knew a lot of people in the racing scene. Leia groaned internally, praying to god he wasn’t one of those stuck-up racing types. 

[tomeandflickcorner]

Rouge One: A Star Wars Story

We’ve reached the movie that pretty much serves as a prologue to the original trilogy, and the film that kickstarted the Star Wars anthology movies.  I know this movie got a bit of flack for not utilizing the iconic text crawl, but in this movie’s defense, it’s not the first time a Star Wars movie didn’t include a text crawl.  Besides, the point of the text crawl is to fill people in on what happened prior to the movie’s opening and to help set the stage.  I’m pretty sure everyone who went into this movie knew what it was going to be about.

The movie opens on a desolate planet called Lah'mu.  Here, a man named Galen Erso lives and runs a small farm with the aid of his wife, Lyra, and their daughter, Jyn. Throughout the film, it comes out that Galen once worked for the Empire as one of their chief scientists in charge of the construction of a top secret weapon.  However, when he started to find out the true nature of the weapon he was helping to design, he realized that he no longer wanted anything to do with it and deserted his post, secretly relocating to this planet with his family so they could simply live their lives in peace.  But it turns out that the Empire somehow managed to locate him. Galen obviously had anticipated this would happen as he was utilizing a Sentry Droid to alert them if any Imperial ships entered the atmosphere, and he and his family had clearly already worked out an escape plan.  

While Lyra contacts a man called Saw Gerrera, who is apparently a trusted friend of theirs, Galen takes a moment to hug his young daughter, telling her to remember that everything he’s done or will do is because he wants to keep her safe.  He then gets Lyra to take Jyn and run while he goes out to confront the approaching Imperials alone, obviously to give his family time to escape.  As such, he goes out to face Orson Krennic, the man in charge of the Empire’s weapon development branch.  Krennic tries to convince Galen to return with him to resume work on the Empire’s secret weapon, as development has hit a snag and they’ll need his expertise to proceed with the development.  But Galen refuses, stating he no longer wants anything to do with the Empire and their plans. In the end, however, Galen is forcibly taken captive.  And Lyra, who had decided to leave Jyn behind in order to come back and defend her husband, is killed.   As a result, Jyn is left alone in a secret bunker hidden within the mountain, where she remains until Saw finally shows up to retrieve her.

Have to say, that was a pretty dumb move by Lyra.   I get that Galen was in danger and she dearly loved her husband and all. But as a parent, her first priority should have been with Jyn.  Chances were, she was going to lose her father that day either way, so she needed her mother even more.  Sure, Lyra obviously knew Saw was on his way and that he would most likely take her under his wing.  But it still was a bit foolhardy for this woman to walk out on her kid like that. Especially since she and Galen had clearly planned and prepared for this day.

It’s then shown that that whole sequence was some kind of dream/flashback sequence of Jyn, who is now fully grown.  And at this point in time, she’s being confined in some interplanetary prison with a number of other inmates.  It’s later stated that she’s been arrested for possessing undocumented weapons, forgery, assault and resisting arrest.

The story then cuts to some trading post called the Ring of Kafrene.  The thing that stuck out to me was that it appears to be located on an asteroid.  Which makes me wonder how they maintain an atmosphere in this place, as people are clearly walking about outside.  Do they utilize a similar technology to what the Gungans used with their underwater city? Anyway, it’s here that we meet our next main character, Captain Cassian Andor, a member of the Rebel Alliance. He’s in the process of having a rendezvous with a fellow Rebel named Tivik who informs him that an Imperial pilot has recently defected from the Empire.  This Imperial pilot claims that the Empire, who has recently been harvesting Kyber Crystals from the planet Jedah, is building a weapon they’re calling a ‘planet killer.’  And the pilot’s friend, who just happens to be Galen, had sent him to pass an important message to Saw.  Unfortunately, a Stormtrooper approaches the two before more could be said, and Cassian shoots him dead.  This, of course, alerts some other nearby Stormtroopers, and, because Tivik is injured, Cassian kills him as well.  Now, obviously, I can see the logic to this particular action.  Since Tivik was wounded and would not be able to keep up with Cassian in evading the Stormtroopers, it would have been inevitable that he would have been captured.  And if that happened, the Imperials would have undoubtedly tortured him before subjecting him to a painful, drawn out death.  So realistically, Cassian was being merciful to his ally.  At the same time, the fact that Cassian can kill his friend without even blinking is a sobering testament to what war can do to a person.  Cassian will later admit that he has been fighting in the Rebellion since the age of 6.  Meaning he had to grow up way too quickly.  It’s in moments like this that I think it’s a shame that the original movies never really gave the characters a chance to actually be human.  The original trilogy never really touched upon the lasting effects this war must be having on those who have been fighting for most of their lives.  Think about how many might be suffering from PTSD.  So the fact that they’re kinda exploring an aspect of all of that with Cassian is kinda cool.

We then return to Jyn, who is now being transported to another prison encampment. Along the way, however, the prison convoy is halted by a group that are soon revealed to be part of the Rebel Alliance. Because they somehow managed to find out that Galen’s daughter, Jyn was aboard this convoy.  Not quite sure how they managed to figure that out, considering Jyn had been living under an assumed name at the time, but oh well. When the Rebels break into the prison transport to free Jyn, however, she reacts with hostility and tries to run away.  She doesn’t get far, though, as a Droid called K-2SO, manages to stop her. K-2SO, as it’s later stated, was once an Imperial Droid, but he was captured and reprogramed by the Rebel Alliance and is therefore now on their side.  And he’s probably one of the best characters in this movie, due to his delightfully deadpan manner.  The fact that Alan Tudyk provided the voice for this character only makes it even cooler.

Once Jyn is in their custody, the Rebels take her to their base on Yavin 4, where she’s brought before the leaders of the Rebellion, including Mon Mothma and Jan Dodonna.  (Incidentally, I applaud the casting director for their pick of the actress who portrayed Mon Mothma.  She looks just like the woman who played her in Return of the Jedi.)  During this scene, we also get a glimpse of Bail Organa himself, who really seemed to age well.  Even though I was slightly confused as to why the movie decided to play the Luke Theme Music when he first appeared. 

When Jyn is brought before the Rebellion leaders, she’s informed that the Rebel Alliance believes her father, Galen, is working on a new weapon for the Empire, but they have learned that Galen has sent a message through the deflected Imperial pilot.  A message that has been received by Saw.  The problem is, Saw is an extremist who has severed ties with the Rebellion.  As such, it’s doubtful that he will react kindly if someone from the Rebellion approached him to retrieve the alleged message. So they’re hoping that Jyn can help them out, considering she and Saw know each other, and he’d therefore trust her. Jyn, however, isn’t initially interested in helping out, as she’s grown too jaded to believe in the Rebellion’s cause and has become apathetic to the Empire taking over everywhere.  Not to mention she hasn’t exactly been fond of Saw since the day he abandoned her to fend for herself at some point after the events of the opening scene.  But she eventually agrees to assist them when the Rebel Leaders offer to grant her a pardon for her list of crimes in exchange for her help.  As such, Jyn is sent to accompany Cassian and K-2SO when they journey to Jedah in order to seek out Saw and retrieve the message Galen sent with the defected Imperial pilot.  And with luck, they can then locate Galen himself so he can be brought before the Senate for testimony.   It’s at this stage in the movie a mini subplot is initiated, with it being shown a mutual distrust exists between Jyn and K-2SO.

We also get the start of another subplot around this point.  This one involving the Empire.   Krennic, it turns out, is getting a lot of flak due to the number of setbacks that have sprung up in the development of the weapon that will eventually be revealed as the Death Star.  And now, word has gotten out that one of the cargo pilots has defected and has started spreading the word about their secret weapon.  In an effort to appease Emperor Palpatine (who has been growing impatient for the Death Star to be completed) as well as prevent the possibility of more planetary systems siding with the Rebel Alliance, Grand Moff Tarkin decrees that an immediate test of the Death Star should be performed.  And yes, Grand Moff Tarkin has been placed into this movie through CGI because the original actor, Peter Cushing, passed away from prostate cancer 22 years before this movie premiered.  It’s rather hard to rate the quality of the CGI here.  On the one hand, it always does look like there’s someone actually there.  But at the same time, there’s just something about the face that’s just….off.  Though it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly is off about it. It does make one wonder why they decided to insert this character into the movie with CGI, however.  If they can find a lookalike actress for Mom Mothma, I’m sure they could have located a replacement Peter Cushing.

Meanwhile, Cassian, Jyn and K-2SO have arrived on Jedha, where they observe a Star Destroyer hovering over the holy city.  It turns out that Jedha was once the location of a sacred Jedi Temple.  But ever since the Jedi massacre, the temple is now a shadow of its former self.  (I wonder if that’s why the planet is called Jedha.  It does sound quite similar to Jedi.)  Anyway, Cassian informs Jyn that the Star Destroyer is there because Saw and his band of rebels have been attacking the Imperial cargo ships that have been harvesting the Kyber Crystals that were stored and grown in the abandoned Jedi temple. It turns out that the Death Star’s attack beam is powered by the Kyber Crystals, so the Empire has been gathering up as many as they could find.  In order to find Saw, Jyn and Cassian enter the nearby city, with K-2SO remaining near the ship.  

Once they reach the city streets, Cassian steps away for a bit, explaining that he had a contact on Jedha who disappeared, but his sister would be waiting for them nearby. So he plans on approaching the sister to inform her that Jyn is there, in the hopes that hearing Jyn’s name would enable them to meet with Saw.  While it’s not clear, I wonder if this missing contact Cassian mentioned was Tivik, that guy he shot and killed earlier in the movie.  If so, it’s a bit unsettling to know that he has a sister waiting in vain for him to come home.  But after Cassian leaves Jyn to her own devices, after a surprise cameo of two faces that might be familiar to the long-time Star Wars fans, Jyn’s attention is caught by a blind man sitting nearby when he reveals he knows she’s wearing a necklace.  Yeah, Jyn has a necklace of a Kyber Crystal that her mother, Lyra, gave her before her death.  I don’t think the necklace is that significant in the film, but I have heard this movie did undergo a few script rewites, so maybe Jyn’s necklace was going to be important in an early version of the script but they then dropped its significance in the final draft.  Either way, all we really get from this scene is the knowledge that the Kyber Crystals were also what powered the Jedi lightsabers.  Which would explain why there’s a large collection of them on Jedha. But Cassian returns and ushers Jyn away before more could be said.

Cassian and Jyn don’t get far, though, as an Imperial squadron appears at that moment, moving their way through the city streets.  They’re apparently transporting more Kyber Crystals off the planet so they can be used to power the Death Star’s laser canon.  To avoid being seen, Cassian and Jyn duck into a nearby alleyway, but they then notice a small number of figures moving about from the shadows and rooftops.  These people are revealed to be Saw’s band of rebels, as they proceed to attack the Imperial convoy and make off with the Kyber Crystals amidst a whole gun fight. A gun fight that Cassian and Jyn get involved in.

Incidentally, there’s this one moment in this particular sequence where Jyn saves a little girl who had wandered out into the middle of the chaos.  From what I’ve seen, there’s some fan speculation that this little girl is a young Rose Tico, a character we meet in the current trilogy. But I don’t think I buy into that particular theory.  Based on Rose’s apparent age in The Last Jedi, I think it’s highly unlikely she even existed back then.

Anyway, the gunfight ends up coming to a pause when K-2SO unexpectedly pops up (resulting in a rather nice fake-out moment.)  He admits he’d gotten bored waiting around for Cassian and Jyn to return. Although, while K-2SO does help save Cassian and Jyn by fending off a few of the Stormtroopers, they then find themselves surrounded by a larger group of them.  In spite of K-2SO’s attempt at bluffing their way out of the situation by taking advantage of the fact that he was originally an Imperial Droid, it’s ultimately the blind man from earlier that helps save them.  His name is Chirrut Îmwe.  He was once one of the Guardians of the Whills, an order that was charged with protecting the temple on Jedha, up until the rise of the Empire.  When the Jedi were wiped out, Chirrut was virtually thrown out on the street.  Nevertheless, Chirrut has remained steadfast at his old post. And it’s him who manages to singlehandedly fight off the Stormtroopers that were attempting to apprehend Cassian, Jyn and K-2SO.  Although, it’s Chirrut’s friend and partner, Baze Malbus, that ends up finishing the task. Baze is another former member of the Guardians of the Whills, but he’s not as spiritual as Chirrut, as the presence of the Empire on Jedhah has left him with a cynical nature.

Before I continue the review, I’d like to comment on Chirrut, who is one of my two favorite character in the movie.  (The other being K-2SO.)  Even though Chirrut is blind, it doesn’t seem to slow him down, and he effortlessly is able to take on a number of Stormtroopers at once.  This guy is so incredible, you might even forget that he’s blind.  Which makes me wonder if he is able to see through the Force.  Of course, that presents the possibility that Churrut was Force Sensitive.  If that’s the case, I wonder why he wasn’t trained as a Jedi.  Did he just not have a master to train him?  I don’t think the Jedi Order would have rejected him due to his blindness.  Especially since I distinctly remember the existence of the Miraluka, a species that were naturally born without eyes.  In one of the Star Wars MM0s, you could even have your character be a Miraluka if you played as a Jedi.  So obviously, the Jedi Order don’t usually discriminate against blind Force Sensitive individuals.

Either way, moments after Chuirrut and Baze meet Cassian and Jyn, with K-2SO being sent back to the ship, some of Saw’s rebels appear.   They are all set to either capture or kill the four of them, until Jyn steps forward and identifies herself as the daughter of Galen Erso. This is enough for the rebels to decide against killing them, but they still forcibly bring them to Saw’s hideout in the Catacombs of Cadera, also blindfolding them, much to Chirrut’s exasperation.  When they reach the Catacombs, Cassian, Baze and Chirrut are placed within holding cells while Jyn is escorted to Saw’s chambers.

While they’re imprisoned, they happen to meet the Imperial pilot that deflected, Bodhi Rook. It turns out that when he sought out Saw with Galen’s message, Saw refused to believe him and, in order to test the validity of his story, he subjected Bodhi to this squid creature called Bor Gullet.  Apparently, this Bor Gullet has some kind of mind probing ability that will determine if Bodhi is telling the truth or not.  The only downside is that getting mind probed by Bor Gullet tends to have an adverse effect on the victim.  Obviously, this was meant to show how ruthless Saw is, as he doesn’t seem to care about what happens to Bodhi if he turns out to be telling the truth.  But there’s no real explanation for how he found Bor Gullet or anything like that.  Is Bor Gullet a sentient being or is he just an attack squid of some kind? Either way, Bodhi is visibly shaken up from his ordeal with Bor Gullet, but when Cassian notices him and realizes that he is the Imperial piolet that defected, he is able to snap Bodhi out of his state by reminding him that Galen sent him to bring the message to Saw.

Meanwhile, Jyn is in the middle of reuniting with Saw, who is happy to see her again. But Jyn is less than pleased, as she’s still mad at him for abandoning her.  Apparently, Saw had left Jyn in a bunker somewhere, armed with a knife and loaded blaster, when she was only 16.  And he never came back for her.  But Saw tries to excuse his actions by pointing out that people were starting to figure out who she was, or rather who her father was.  Turns out Saw’s followers aren’t a hug fan of Galen due to his affiliation with the Empire, and Saw was therefore worried they might take it out on Jyn.  While that kinda makes sense, I get the impression that Saw had left Jyn in the bunker with the implication that he’d come back for her, but then never did. If that’s the case, I don’t blame Jyn for being angry.  The least Saw could have done was be honest about why he had to send her off on her own.

Instead of fully resolving the strain in their relationship, Saw ends up showing Jyn the message Galen sent through Bodhi.  In the holographic message, Galen admits that he did indeed help the Empire build their deadly weapon called the Death Star, but it was only because he knew that Krennic would have simply tasked someone else with the project if he refused to comply.  So Galen had decided to take advantage of his position to sabotage the project from the inside.  He ended up purposely designing the Death Star with a small but vital flaw. Galen’s message goes on to state that the blueprints for the Death Star are located in a data vault on a planet called Scarif, and if Rebel Forces managed to obtain those blueprints, they’d be able to locate the position of that fatal flaw and take advantage of the knowledge to destroy it.

Galen’s message ends with an emotional personal postscript addressed to Jyn, in which he states he never stopped thinking of her and misses her so much.  This message clearly strikes a chord with Jyn, as she falls to her knees in tears.  While she had previously acted as if she didn’t care, it’s obvious that she still dearly loves her father and missed him terribly.

However, there’s not much time to mourn, because by sheer chance, Krennic and Grand Moff Tarkin are hovering above Jedha within the Death Star.  It had been decided that they would perform a test of the Death Star’s capabilities by directing a half-powered blast at the Holy City on the planet surface.  Turns out the Death Star’s destructive laser blast had an intensity dial.  Who knew?  After they evacuate their troops from the Jedha, hey end up firing one of these smaller blasts down at the planet, right after Jyn and Saw finished watching Galen’s message.  (Talk about ironic timing).  Fortunately, Cassian had just happened to break himself, Chirrut, Baze and Bohdi out of their cells and, after locating Jyn, he is able to make contact K-2SO, instructing him to fly the ship to their present location on the double.  After a brief suspenseful moment, the six of them are able to only just get away from the massive destructive blast enveloping the area.  However, Saw chooses to remain behind because of reasons that are not really explained. As such, he ends up dying, along with who knows how many people who were caught in the explosion and destructive aftershock.  As far as we know, our six main leads are the only ones who survived.

Up on the Death Star, Tarkin apologizes to Krennick for doubting him, as the test has proven that the Death Star’s destructive capabilities have made up for the multitude of problems that had sprung up during the development. Although, the smile is wiped off Krennick’s face when he’s informed that Tarkin intends to take over control of the Death Star.  Krennick sees this as a great injustice as the Death Star was his achievement, and he therefore deserves full credit.  Tarkin, however, counters that by stating the recent security breaches, such as Bodhi’s deflection and the possibility that he told others about the Death Star, has shown that Krennick is too incompetent to continue being in charge of the project. Krennick argues that the breaches have been sealed, since, as far as they knew, Bohdi and everyone he told about the Death Star had been on Jedha when they destroyed the Holy City.  But Tarkin scoffs at this, pointing out that Bodhi might not have acted alone, as he had been dispatched from the research installation on the planet Eadu right before he defected.  The fact that Eadu was the facility where Galen and his crew were working on the Death Star is enough to rouse some suspicion.  To follow up on this observation, Krennick decides to make an impromptu trip to Eadu.

Coincidentally, Jyn, Cassian and the others are also on their way to Eadu, as Bohdi most likely told them that’s where Galen was.  Although, it turns out that the mission to apprehend Galen and bring him back to Yaven 4 for questioning isn’t quite the true objective.  Cassian had been taken aside earlier by General Draven and given secret orders to kill Galen on sight.  Which honestly doesn’t make much sense.  Sure, the Rebel Alliance obviously believe Galen is loyal to the Empire due to the fact that he works for them and therefore concluded that he supports the construction of the Death Star.  But if they kill him, then they lose the chance to interrogate him about the Death Star, and possibly find out a way to combat it.  But I guess this is meant to give us this underlining commentary about a soldier blindly following orders.  Because on the way, Jyn begins to tell her companions about Galen’s holographic message, in which he’d explained that he only agreed to work on the Death Star so he could sabotage it from the inside, and that he’d purposely designed it with a weak spot on the Death Star’s reactor. Unfortunately, Jyn was too emotionally sidetracked to even think about taking the holographic imager with her when they were escaping the planet, meaning the message was destroyed along with the Holy City on Jedha.  So all they have is her word.  And considering Galen is Jyn’s father, she’s probably not the most impartial witness. So this is clearly set up to be a test of whether or not Cassian trusts Jyn’s word.

When they arrive on Eadu, Cassian sets off for the research facility where Galen is stationed, taking only Bohdi with him, on account of the fact that he’s been there before and therefore knows the layout of the planet and the facility.  However, after they leave, K-2SO and Chirrut tip Jyn off that Cassian is probably not looking to bring her father back alive. (Chirrut comments on how the Force moves in a certain way around someone about to kill, and K-2SO observed Cassian had been carrying a sniper weapon.)  As such, she immediately heads off after them.  And Chirrut and Baze also follow her soon afterwards.  So only K-2SO is left back at the ship.

Cassian and Bohdi manage to make it up onto a rocky outcrop overlooking the research facility, just as Galen and his crew are coming outside to meet with Krennic, who has just arrived.  Fully intending to go through with his orders to kill Galen, Cassian sends Bohdi back to the ship so he won’t try to stop him.

Down at the docking platform, Krennic proceeds to announce he knows someone among the research team has betrayed the Empire and conspired with a pilot to send messages to the Rebellion.  He threatens to kill everyone unless the traitor step forward.  After a tense moment, Galen jumps forward, just when Krennic was giving the order to kill all the engineers.  He pleads with Krennic to spare them, as he was the one who conspired with Bohdi and the others had nothing to do with it.  However, even after Galen admits to have worked alone, Krennic still has the other scientists gunned down.  Which was a jerk move, to be honest.  Why would you even do that?

Meanwhile, up on the outcrop, Cassian is aiming his sniper rifle at Galen, with his finger on the trigger.  But he ultimately realizes he can’t go through with it.  However, that’s when he notices Jyn trying to sneak her way up to the platform where Galen and Krennic are having their confrontation.  If that wasn’t bad enough, he then receives word from K-2SO back at the ship that a Rebel squadron is heading their way. Because apparently, when the ship Cassian was piloting went off their radar upon approaching Erso, the Rebel Alliance decided to jump the gun and send backup.  Cassian tries to get a message up to the fleet to order them to disengage, but it’s too late as their radios have already switched off.  So Cassian has to scramble down to the platform to get Jyn out of harm’s way.  But by the time he gets there, the attack on the facility has already started.  While Jyn is miraculously unharmed in the ensuing explosions, she can only watch in horror as her father is struck down.  She is able to reach him just in time to see him one last time before he dies.

At that moment, Cassian appears on the scene.  He has to physically drag Jyn away from Galen’s body, as a fleet of TIE Fighters have appeared to fend off the Rebel squadron.  So it’s no longer safe there.  They manage to make it back to their ship, thanks to the combined efforts of Chirrut and Baze, who are able to shoot down the TIE Fighters from the ground, and Bohdi, who becomes an official member of the Rebellion by firing off their ship’s guns at his former compatriots.

As they make their return trip to Yaven 4, Jyn and Cassian get into a shouting match over the fact that Cassian had lied to her and had fully intended to kill her father. To Jyn, it doesn’t matter that Cassian had ultimately decided to disobey his orders.  The fact that he even considered following them at all without stopping to question if his orders were right and wrong means he’s no better than a Stormtrooper.  To Cassian, Jyn has no right to be so judgmental, as she has no idea what it is to be a soldier.  Unlike him, who has been on the battlefield for most of his life.  Overall, this is a rather deep scene that further drives home what war can do to a person.  And I guess I have to give the movie brownie points for not showing a resolution to the argument.  Because the only right answer to an argument such is this is that wars are ugly affairs and that anyone who fights in one cannot come out of it unchanged.

It’s at this point in the movie that we get a scene that pretty much only exists to show audiences that, yes, Darth Vader appears in this.  For some reason, he appears to live on Mustifar now.  Which seems like an odd choice.  Considering what happened to him on this particular planet, you’d think Vader would prefer to not have to revisit this place again. Anyway, Krennic approaches Vader to request an audience with the Emperor, to make sure he can fully appreciate the potential of the Death Star.  Throughout the scene, it comes out that the Emperor would prefer it if nobody knew the Death Star existed, and to cover up its involvement in the attack on Jedha, the Senate has been told the destruction was the result of a mining accident.  Although, that does present an issue with a key moment in A New Hope, which I’ll cover next week.

Back on Yaven 4, Jyn and Cassian have just finished telling the Rebellion about what they’d found out about the Death Star, and what really happened on Jedha. This puts everyone in an uproar, as everyone is shocked and horrified that the Empire has this kind of power. However, this creates a serious divide between them.  While some are giving into despair and thinking it would be in their best interests to surrender, others are insisting that they can’t give in and have to continue to fight.  Others are suspecting that the whole thing is a trick, and that it might just be a ploy to lure the Rebellion into the open, on account that their main sources of information came from an Imperial scientist and an Imperial pilot.  But that’s when Jyn suddenly develops the ability to deliver passionate speeches of encouragement.  She urges the Rebellion to rise up, stating that if they give into the enemy now, they condemn the galaxy to an eternal submission.  Jyn suggests that the Rebels send their best troops to Scarif and capture the Death Star plans.  Because if there is a hope of destroying it, it’s worth the risk.

Unfortunately, Mon Mothma decides that, without the full support of the council, she cannot launch an attack on Scarif.  But Jyn isn’t willing to give up.  And it turns out her feelings are shared by Bohdi, Chirrut and Baze.  Out of nowhere, Cassian also appears at their side, accompanied by a handful of Rebel soldiers.  They reveal they also agree with Jyn.  As such, they decide to go off to Scarif on their own, even without permission from the Rebel leaders.  And they proceed to hijack an impounded Imperial ship to make it to the Imperial controlled planet.  When the flight control staff attempt to hail them upon noticing the ship taking off without authorization, Bohdi impulsively decides to state their call sign is Rouge One.

As the newly dubbed Rouge One is leaving for Scariff, Mom Mothma has a one-on-one conversation with Bail Organa, in which they agree that war is now inevitable. Bail Organa decides to return to Alderaan to inform his people that peace is no longer feasible, but states that the Rebel Alliance needs every advantage they can get.  Right away, Mon Mothma realizes what Bail is implying. He intends to send word to their old ally, Obi Wan, in the hopes that they can convince him to come out of hiding. Mon Mothma comments how Bail will need someone he trusts completely with a mission of this importance.  To this, Bail simply says ‘I would trust her with my life.’  Right away, we can only conclude he is referring to his adopted daughter Leia.

Sadly, we know that this is the last time we’ll chronologically see Bail Organa.  Which is a huge shame because he really was a great character.  Although, I also have to wonder if he had an ulterior motive for sending Leia to fetch Obi Wan.  Especially considering Bail was probably one of the only people in the galaxy who knew that Leia was actually the daughter of Anakin and Padmé.  As such, it was only to be expected that she’d be Force Sensitive.  And I’d wager that Bail did notice some signs of Leia’s Force Sensitivity throughout the years.  So I wonder if Bail’s plan was that Obi-Wan would take the opportunity to inform Leia of her true birthright and train her as a Jedi as well.  If that’s the case, it’s a shame that it didn’t work out like that.

And that brings us to what’s by far the best sequence in the film- the Battle of Scarif. When they arrive at the planet, Bodhi uses the knowledge of his time among the Imperials to get past the protective shield that encompasses the planet, stating the Imperial ship they’ve commandeered should have an access code on file.  Thankfully, the Empire hadn’t yet logged that particular access code as out of date, and they are allowed to enter through the entry gate within the protective shield.  When they land on the planet surface and the Imperial inspection team enters the ship, the Rebels are able to ambush them.  By sheer dumb luck, the uniforms they confiscate from them fit Jyn and Cassian perfectly, which allows them to execute their plan.  Simply put, Jyn, Cassian and K-2SO will infiltrate the Citadel where the Death Star plans are sure to be kept.  Meanwhile, Baze and Chirrut will aid some of the Rebel soldiers in setting off strategically placed bombs throughout the facility, in order to make it look as if their small army is larger than it actually is.  This, they hope, will lure the Imperial forces out of the Citadel, making it easier for Jyn, Cassian and K-2SO to retrieve the Death Star plans and get back to the ship, where Bohdi and the remaining Rebels will be waiting to fly them out of there the moment their mission is completed.

Unbeknownst to our heroes, Krennic has also arrived at Scarif at the same time.  His intention is to follow up on the discovery that Galen was the one responsible for the security breach.  As such, he instructs the Imperials manning the base to inspect every single transmission that was sent from Scarif, no doubt thinking that Galen might have transmitted the Death Star plans from Scarif.  But because of this, he’s there when the Rebels start setting off their bombs, signaling the beginning of the battle.

Word of the Rebel attack on Scarif manages to make its way to Grand Moff Tarkin aboard the Death Star.  Remembering that the original plans for the Death Star are stored there, he instructs his subordinates to set a course for Scarif, clearly planning to destroy the Imperial base.  Which is a rather shred move.  He’s clearly deciding to sacrifice the base and the Imperials stationed there to prevent the Rebels from getting away with the Death Star Plans.  As for the Rebel Alliance stationed on Yavin 4, they likewise intercept the transmission about the Rebel attack on Scarif.  When Mom Mothma hears of this, she ends up sending an entire squadron over there to aid their allies.  Which seems to contradict her earlier statement that she couldn’t condone an attack on Scarif without the full support of the other Rebel leaders.

And yes, we do get a cameo of C-3PO and R2-D2 in this scene. It really serves no purpose, though.  I guess it was just thrown in to give Star Wars fans something to giggle about.

Back on Scariff, the battle is already underway.  Because of the explosions throughout the base, the Imperials are out in force, resulting in a gun fight between them and Rouge One’s ground crew. And to keep the Imperials running around on a wild goose chase, Bohdi and the Rebels back on their ship continue to send out false reports of Rebels being sighted in various sectors. Meanwhile, Jyn, Cassian and K-2SO have made it to the Citadel’s databanks, which they were able to locate by deactivating and scanning the memory bank of another Imperial Droid. But the tide starts to turn when AT-AT Walkers appear along the beach, forcing the Rebel soldiers to retreat. And when the Rebel squadron ships appear on the Imperial base’s radar, they lock down the base.  Only a few ships manage to get past the shield before the gates are closed.  While this does mean Rouge One’s ground crew now has areal support agaginst the AT-AT Walkers, this does present a problem.  With the shield gate closed, Rouge One is trapped, and will not be able to get off the planet with the Death Star plans.  Which means they’d have to come up with another idea of how to get the plans to the Rebel fleet fighting out in space

When she and Cassian are notified of this by K-2SO, who is helping them locate the right data file, Jyn suggests transmitting the plans out to the Rebel fleet. But this would only be possible if they take out the shield gate.  As such, they task Bohdi with finding a way of blowing a hole into the gate so the transmission can get through.  So Bohdi gets to work in trying to send a message to the Rebel Command ship, which is commanded by Admiral Raddus, a Mon Calamari.  (Apparently the same species as the well-known Admiral Ackbar), to inform them of the incoming transmission.  But in order to do that, Bohdi has to hack into the communications tower.  So he contacts the ground troops, asking them to locate the master switch that will enable him to interface with the tower 

The battle continues with Rebel troops joining Rouge One’s ground troop in reaching the master switch while the fleet that remains outside the planet’s barrier shield works for a way to dismantle the shield gate.  And over at the Citadel, Jyn and Cassian are continuing to try and locate the correct data file.  Although, there’s also a brief scene when Jyn and K-2SO reach the pinnacle of their relationship arc.   At the start of their reluctant alliance, K-2SO had voiced his objection to the fact that Jyn was allowed to carry around a blaster when he wasn’t.  But in this scene, Jyn willingly passes her blaster over to K-2SO.  Which is clearly meant to show that these two now consider each other friends.  Which is great, even though I don’t think they interacted that much apart from this one moment on Jedah, when Jyn shot an Imperial Droid during the gun battle and briefly froze in shock for a moment, visibly worried that she’d accidently shot K-2SO before getting her reassurance a second later when the real K-2SO appeared.

Anyway, when Cassian is scanning the code names for the numerous data files stored there, Jyn’s attention is caught by the fact that one of the files has been named ‘Stardust,’ which had been the nickname her father had given her when she was a little girl.  Right away, she realizes that that’s the file that contains the Death Star plans. While that was clever of Galen, it is still a bit problematic, because what if Jyn hadn’t been there?  Just saying, we’re pretty much talking the fate of the entire galaxy here.  It seems like a pretty high risk to stake everything solely on the possibility that Jyn would have been present to identify the correct data file.  

Unfortunately, before Cassian can extract the data file, K-2SO has to quickly close the door to the vault, enclosing Jyn and Cassian inside.  This is because a group of Storm Troopers had arrived on the scene, and K-2SO had been hoping to keep them from being discovered.  But his plan backfires when Cassian blows his cover by calling over their comlinks, asking the Droid what was going on.  Which was really dumb on Cassian’s part.  You’d think he would have been able to put 2 and 2 together and realize they were in danger of being discovered.  Either way, when he realizes his cover is blown, K-2SO quickly drops the charade and openly attacks the Stormtroopers, managing to defeat them all effortlessly.  He then proceeds to hold off further attackers with the blaster Jyn had given him. But as more and more Stormtroopers arrive on the scene, K-2SO soon finds himself outnumbered and outgunned.  As such, he uses the last of his strength to sever the power to the vault, which will prevent the Imperial forces from opening it to reach Jyn and Cassian.  The moment he does so, he receives one last hit before dying.  So, RIP to K-2SO.  He went down fighting.

Out on the beach, the Rebels are trying to reach the control tower in order to flip the master switch so Bohdi could inform the Rebel fleet of the incoming transmisson.  But they find their path blocked by a large amount of enemy gunfire, so it appears to be impossible for anyone to reach the master switch without getting gunned down. However, Chirrut, placing full trust in the Force, is able to calmly walk out and miraculously manages to reach the master switch unscathed.  Sadly though, the moment he flips the master switch, the Force apparently decides he’s fulfilled his appointed task as Chirrut is then caught in an explosion caused by Imperials shooting the control panel.  This obviously devastates Baze, who immediately breaks cover and hurries over to his fallen comrade.  The two best friends share one last moment together before Chirrut dies from his injuries. But his friend’s death has apparently led Baze to once again believe in the strength of the Force.  As such, Baze decides to continue fighting in his friend’s name.  And he manages to take down a number of Imperials before he’s also killed by a grenade. As for Bohdi, he manages to hack his way into the control tower to send a transmission up the Rebel Command ship. And because the Rebel fleet managed to destroy the shield gate with a really impressive maneuver involving a disabled Star Destroyer, he is able to inform Admiral Raddus that the Death Star plans will be transmitted up to them momentarily.  Tragically, the moment Bohdi finishes sending that message, he is also killed by a well-thrown grenade.  As such, only Jyn and Cassian are left from the movie’s six main leads.

Back at the Citadel, Jyn and Cassian have to climb up to retrieve the data file containing the Death Star plans because the power to the file extracting mechanism was also severed when K-2SO sealed off the vault.  Just when they retrieve it, however, Krennic appears out of nowhere and begins to open fire at the pair.  Eventually, Cassian is hit in the shoulder and falls.  Fortunately, he only falls onto a conveniently placed platform, but he’s temporarily knocked out.  So Jyn has to continue the climb to the top of the Citadel alone.  After some padding, including a moment when Jyn has to get through a video-game style grate that opens and closes repeatedly, she reaches the top of the Citadel, where she prepares to transmit the Death Star plans up to the Rebel command ship. Of course, the movie has to pad things out even more by making Jyn fix the alignment on the antenna first, but once she’s done that, she’s able to begin the transmission.

But that’s when Krennic appears once again for the final confrontation, holding Jyn at gunpoint.  Defiantly, Jyn identifies herself as the daughter of Galen and Lyra.  But then, for some reason, she decides to start monologing by informing Krennic of how Galen designed the Death Star with a fatal flaw, and she’s now told the Rebel Alliance all about it.  While I get why Jyn would have felt the need to rub it in and let him know of his failure before she died, for all she knew, Krennic was going to survive this encounter.  So why would she tell him that the Death Star had a fatal flaw in its design when he could have used that information to rectify the issue before the Rebels could do something about it?

In the end, though, I guess it doesn’t matter.  Because Cassian, who had regained conciseness, pops back up again, knocking out Krennic with a well-placed hit from his blaster.  He and Jyn then limp their way down to the beach, just as the Death Star arrives at Scariff.  Out in space, the remaining Rebel ships can only watch as the Death Star delivers a deadly blast at the Imperial base on the planet below.  (And there’s a bit of poetic justice when Krennic wakes up just in time to see his demise coming.)  As for Jyn and Cassian, they are able to accept their imminent deaths with peace, knowing that their deaths won’t be in vain as the Rebel fleet had undoubtedly received the Death Star plans.  In their last moments, the two embrace as friends, seeing comfort and courage in one another as their bodies are enveloped in the deadly aftershock of the Death Star’s attack.

After they witness the visible destruction on Scaraff, the remaining Rebel ships take a moment to send their respect to the fallen members of Rouge One before attempting to make their getaway.  But the Rebel command ship is prevented from retreating when Darth Vader’s Star Destoryer suddenly appears on the scene.  The command ship is quickly disabled, with all other remaining Rebel ships being destroyed, so Vader makes plans to board the ship in order to take back the stolen Death Star plans.

On the command ship in question, the Rebels are scrambling to download the plans onto a disk in order to transfer them over to the ship waiting in the hanger bay- The Tantive IV.  What follows is a rather chilling sequence in which Darth Vader boards the ship and immediately starts massacring everyone in sight.  However, a handful of Rebels manage to make it to the Tantive IV with the disk containing the plans, and they launch the ship from the hanger bay, managing to evade Vader by jumping into lightspeed the moment its path is clear. It’s then shown that Leia is present on the Tantive IV when she receives the stolen plans, with her announcing that they’ve received hope.  And on that note, the movie ends, right where we know Episode 4 begins.

Now, something that puzzles me.  We saw that the ship Admiral Raddus was commanding was the one that received the Death Star plans in the transmission Jyn sent up.  It was that ship that Darth Vader attacked, prompting the Rebels to quickly transfer the plans to a small portable disk so they could get it to the Tantive IV that Leia was waiting in.  Well, I guess it makes sense that Leia was originally being transported to Tatoinne on Admiral Raddus’ ship, but why would they redirect the ship to join the Battle of Scarif when Leia’s mission to fetch Obi-Wan was so vital? Wouldn’t going to Scarif put her and her mission in jeopardy?  Also, why were R2 and 3PO hanging around in the docking bay on Yavin 4 when they were supposed to be on the ship transporting Leia to Tatoinne?

Also, we see in this movie that Mon Mothma was currently working alongside the Rebels stationed on Yavin 4.  So you would think that she would have therefore been involved with the events of A New Hope as well.  If so, how come we didn’t meet her until Return of the Jedi, the final film in the original trilogy?

Those issues aside, I think Rouge One was a pretty good addition to the Star Wars mythos. While it is sobering to know that all the main characters are killed off at the end, I think that worked to the movie’s advantage.  It really touched on the darker aspects of war that I think the original trilogy pretty much glossed over.  And it was rather clear from the get-go that our protagonists were entering into a suicide mission from the moment they left for Scariff.

And that’s it for all the prequel films.  Now, it’s on to the original trilogy.  Although, chances are it’s going to be the special edition versions, as the original version of the trilogy is rather hard to locate these days, unless you happen to have the VHS tapes and a working VCR.  (Unfortunately, while I do still have the VHS tapes, I no longer have the working VCR.)

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[manycoloureddays]

Prompt: HS AU Rogue Ot3 on their first date??? (Up to you if Cassian is at all aware that it’s a date)

for those of you who are wondering, this follows on from this rogue ot3 hs au

in which Cassian really doesn’t know he’s going on a date at all

Cassian finds them on a picnic rug underneath a tree, at the far end of the park, out where it backs onto the creek. Jyn is sitting propped against the trunk, Bodhi’s head in her lap. He’s reading what sounds like Peter Pan to her while she does her best to distract him, running her fingers over his face, down his nose, circling his mouth, flicking under his chin. Cassian watches quietly, not wanting to break the moment. He wonders, not for the first time, why they keep inviting him to hang out when they could be alone together.

He’d spent the first week at Jedha High eating with different people each day, with whoever shared his pre-lunch class. Then on Friday he’d been paired with Jyn in Spanish, and Bodhi in Art, and it had been easy to fall in with them. He’d eaten lunch with them every day since. They were bizarre. On paper he never would have picked them as friends - Jyn was angry, all sharp edges, and easily mistaken as a loner type except she was never seen without Bodhi, who always seemed to be fidgeting with something, could vague out for half a conversation, and stumbled over the words he did say. But Jyn was less detached than she led people to believe. She was like his cat, Kay, standoffish until she trusted you and then it was nothing but flopping against you, demanding attention, and bringing you dead mice. And Bodhi was even sharper than Jyn sometimes, he startled laughs out of Cassian and then ducked his head, hair falling in his face. Cassian almost had to sit on his hands to stop himself reaching out and brushing it back.

And now they were waiting for him under a tree, and he felt way out of his depth. So far out he couldn’t see land anymore. He shakes himself. They are just his friends. Besides, it looks like they have carrot sticks on their platter, and he loves carrot sticks. He walks over and drops casually onto the rug, as though he hasn’t been staring like a huge weirdo.

‘You made it,’ Bodhi says, smiling and pulling himself upright.

Jyn offers a fist to bump. ‘Thought you were never going to make those last 100 metres.’

Cassian feels himself blush, but he doesn’t break eye contact. Bodhi just shakes his head at the two of them. Fond. It’s easy to fall into a rhythm after that. They rile each other up, try to make each other laugh, and end up unable to look each other in the eyes without giggling for about fifteen minutes. They eat, and keep talking shit, and then school comes up, as it always does. When Jyn asks how Mr Malbus and Mr Imwe are, Cassian learns that their Gym and Philosophy teachers are Bodhi’s foster fathers. They ask Cassian how he’s liking Jedha, and he tells them about moving out of the city after his mum died because everything there reminded Dad of her. Jyn reaches for his hand when he starts talking about how paranoid his dad is getting, how he keeps talking about how Mum was killed instead of saying she died in an accident.

‘I know all about paranoid guardians. Wait til you meet Saw.’

‘Yeah,’ Bodhi nods. His hand was already resting on Cassian’s ankle, and he gives it a squeeze. ‘Let’s maybe avoid that particular parental meeting for the time being.’ Jyn snorts laughter and cracker dust everywhere.

‘Yeah, no. No one is meeting Saw. Not unless it is in a very public place with many, many exit strategies.’

‘He can’t be that bad,’ Bodhi says, but even Cassian knows that this is a well worn topic of conversation.

‘Oh he is. I think I’d die of embarrassment. He is the living embodiment of the shovel talk.’

And just like that they aren’t talking about Cassian’s parents anymore. It was such a subtle subject change he almost believes it’s natural. Except he knows it wasn’t, because they’re still holding onto him. Cassian is so grateful to have found people who don’t push, who have learned where his boundaries are and don’t step over them. He is fucked. So very fucked.

He pulls back from them, and kneels. ‘Well,  I should head home.’ He really doesn’t want to go. ‘Finish up the homework I’ve left to the last minute.’

Jyn says nothing, but Bodhi bursts out, ‘No, don’t leave. We had a plan. See.’ Cassian takes the notebook from his hand. It says “English” in tiny handwriting at the top of front page, which is then covered in technical drawings and calculations. He flicks through a couple of pages, sees game after game of Hangman, and the stick figure comics he knows Jyn drew because his Spanish notebook is littered with them, and then in big, bold letters at the top of a relatively clean page, The Cassian Situation: Plan A. He scans it, words like “crush” and “negotiation” and “seduction” jumping off the page. It is incredibly detailed - there are subsections and indices and -

‘This is the most ridiculous plan I’ve ever seen,’ he blurts out before he can stop himself. He looks up at them and sees that, for some inexplicable reason, they’re grinning.

‘It worked didn’t it?’ Jyn counters. He shakes his head, not because she’s wrong but because he is still so confused. None of it makes any sense.

Bodhi takes the notebook back and reads, ‘Plan B. When he inevitably doesn’t understand that you are wooing him (a reasonable response because there are two of you and he might not believe he deserves you both, something you will need to debunk often if the aforementioned Plan B works out) take him on a date. Explain that it is a date.’ He flips the notebook closed and looks at Jyn with exaggerated seriousness. ‘Sounds like it worked to me too.’

‘What about you Andor? You get a say in this craziness. Did it work?’ As cool as she sounds, Cassian can see her face, can see the way she’s biting the inside of her lip. They mean this, he realises all of a sudden. They mean it. This was a date. They were wooing him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. ‘Yeah. I’d say it did.’

When he opens his eyes to twin beams. Bodhi’s turns sharp in seconds, his eyes darting down to Cassian’s mouth.

‘Do you kiss on the first date, Cassian?’

Cassian figures he can leave the homework for later.