#of the hairy-monster variety

[fluff-and-such]

Humy!Lilith x Fluffy!Inarius, Pillowfort Link Here :D

[hazzybat]

Can you explain why you chose each monster/power to go with each band member? For example why Kris is a vampire etc?

Yeah sure!

Bojan- the other option for him was a siren (cause duh singing voice being enchanting) with a full mermaid tail but I just didn't want to deal with those logistics and it felt like it restricted him.

I went with incubus cause it gave a good reason for lots of smut and cause of the Demoni scream which i adore. Also let's be real Bojan is just kinda slutty and seductive on stage so cranking that up all the way made sense.

Having bojan be the frontman who obviously likes attention to then expand on that to have him literally feed on and need attention and love to live is just icing on top.

Kris- the man looks like a vampire. His cheekbones can cut glass. Legit that was the main reason. He just photographs very elegantly and seems older than he actually is which I feel fits with a vampire. I imagine a quite old school, charming vampire with a hint of marceline from adventure time. He has a variety of powers partially to make up for him physically only having pointy teeth and a bite mark on his neck.

Nace- his stompy dance he does one stage and the fact he wears blazers a lot with very big/thick boots. I also liked the idea of him being really strong but in a human way, and being literally made to be helpful (oooh backstory) Also if I was a monster I would be a Frankenstein monster so I had to make one of them that. Soft spot in my heart.

The idea of Nace wanting to fit in to the band and do it so well it was like he was made to fit the role to go alongside him literally being a made man rather than born is also a fun parallel.

(Tell me you don't see it)

Jan - he's a really hairy guy and his big fur coats look amazing on him so naturally he had to have the hairiest monster. Along with that I feel he's kinda monotone but once you understand him he's actually really expressive which I then used by having his tail express his emotions. And the angst of a wolf transformation was just too good to not play with.

Jure- i had the most trouble with Jure. I tried to think of maybe a sphinx to play into the whole cat thing. There's also some fanart out there which depicts him as a mummy which I also really liked but then didn't want to deal with the whole ancient Egypt mummy in Slovenia kinda deal because as you might have guessed I like everyone to have logical backstories.

A show i really like is BBC's Ghosts so I thought about how a poltergeist actually works well. They can be cheeky and chaotic and it just ended up suiting him really, really well. Along with that the idea of him being seen less (him being stuck abd the back of the stage and being translucent) was a fun theme i could explore. Maybe he wants to be seen more than he is.

Bonus two i haven't introduced yet!

Martin: he's a vampire. Yes it's also cause he's tall and elegant with good bone structure and wanted there to be at least one double up to make the world feel more real.

Jere: he's a pixie! Cause he's very cheeky and mischievous and cause of that one show somone gave him fairy wings.

[legend-collection]

Fouke Monster

the Fouke Monster also known as the Boggy Creek Monster and the Swamp Stalker, is purported to be an ape-like creature, similar to descriptions of Bigfoot, that was allegedly sighted in the rural town of Fouke, Arkansas during the early 1970s. The creature was alleged to have attacked a local family.

The creature was named by journalist Jim Powell, who reported on it for the Texarkana Gazette and the Texarkana Daily News.

Various reports between 1971 and 1974 described it as being a large, bipedal creature covered in long dark hair. It was estimated to be about 7 feet (2 m) tall with a weight of 250–300 pounds (110–140 kg). Later reports claimed that it was far larger, with one witness describing it as 10 feet (3 m) tall, with an estimated weight of 800 pounds (360 kg). Some accounts describe the Fouke Monster as running swiftly with a galloping gait and swinging its arms in a fashion similar to a monkey. Reports also describe it as having a terrible odor, the odor being described as a combination of a skunk and a wet dog, and as having bright red eyes about the size of silver dollars.

A variety of tracks and claw marks have been discovered which are claimed to belong to the creature. One set of foot prints reportedly measured 17 inches (43 cm) in length and 7 inches (18 cm) wide, while another appeared to show feet that only possessed three toes.

Prior to the 20th century, several alleged sightings in the general area related to a large, hairy creature circulated in an 1851 report in the Memphis Enquirer, and an 1856 report in the Caddo Gazette.

Local residents claim that the creature had roamed the area since 1964, but those sightings had not been reported. Local folklore also holds that the creature can be further traced back to sightings in 1946. Most early sightings were allegedly in the region of Jonesville as the creature was known as the "Jonesville Monster" during this period.

In 1955 the creature was allegedly spotted by a 14-year-old boy who described it as having reddish brown hair, sniffing the air, and not reacting when it was fired upon with birdshot. Investigator Joe Nickell observed that the description was consistent with a misidentified black bear (Ursus americanus).

The Fouke Monster first made local headlines in 1971, when it was reported to have attacked the home of Bobby and Elizabeth Ford on May 2, 1971.

According to Elizabeth Ford, the creature, which she initially thought was a bear, reached through a screen window that night while she was sleeping on a couch. It was chased away by her husband and his brother Don. During the alleged encounter, the Fords fired several gun shots at the creature and believed that they had hit it, though no traces of blood were found. An extensive search of the area failed to locate the creature, but three-toed footprints were found close to the house, as well as scratch marks on the porch and damage to a window and the house's siding. According to the Fords, they had heard something moving around outside late at night several nights prior but, having lived in the house for less than a week, had never encountered the creature before.

The creature was allegedly sighted again on May 23, 1971, when three people, D. C. Woods, Jr., Wilma Woods, and Mrs. R. H. Sedgass, reported seeing an ape-like creature crossing U.S. Highway 71.[19] More sightings reports were made over the following months by local residents and tourists, who found additional footprints. The best known footprints were found in a soybean field belonging to local filling station owner Scott Keith. They were scrutinized by game warden Carl Galyon, who was unable to confirm their authenticity. Like the Ford prints, they appeared to indicate that the creature had only three toes.

The incident began to attract substantial interest after news spread about the Ford sighting. The Little Rock, Arkansas, radio station KAAY posted a $1,090 bounty on the creature. Several attempts were made to track the creature with dogs, but they were unable to follow its scent. When hunters began to take interest in the Fouke Monster, Miller County Sheriff Leslie Greer was forced to put a temporary "no guns" policy in place in order to preserve public safety. In 1971, three people were fined $59 each "for filing a fraudulent monster report."

After an initial surge of attention, public interest in the creature decreased until it gained national recognition in 1973 when Charles B. Pierce released a docudrama horror film about the creature in 1972, The Legend of Boggy Creek.

By late 1974, interest had waned again and sightings all but stopped; only to begin again in March 1978 when tracks were reportedly found by two brothers prospecting in Russellville, Arkansas. There were also sightings in Center Ridge, Arkansas. On June 26 of that same year, a sighting was reported in Crossett, Arkansas. During this period the creature was blamed for missing livestock and attacks on several dogs.

Since the initial clusters of sightings during the 1970s, there have been sporadic reports of the creature. In 1991, the creature was reportedly seen jumping from a bridge. There were forty reported sightings in 1997 and, in 1998, the creature was reportedly sighted in a dry creek bed 5 miles (8 km) south of Fouke.

[mgrfp]

Lesser Known Monster Types Described

An assemblage of simple summaries. Not a replacement for research!

Ahuizotl. Dog-like lake dweller. Has spikes on back. Seizes victim with hand at end of tail.

Aka-Oni. Cousin of Ao-Oni. Cursed former human. Hulking horned rampager. Has red skin.

Alerion. Large razor-winged bird. Drowns self when offspring hatches.

Almiraj. Analogue of unicorn. Rabbit replaces horse. Chaotic. Feared by almost every animal.

Alp. Elf Dwarf hybridization. Vampiric. Can turn invisible. Paralyzes victim. Powers from magic hat.

Alraun♂ and Alraune♀. Plant human hybridization. Fragrant flowering being. Sometimes rooted sometimes roaming. Sometimes vampiric or cannibalistic sometimes feeds like human.

Anthusa or Flower Nymph. Divine blossom guardian. Life-force bound to flowering plant.

Ao-Oni. Cousin of Aka-Oni. Cursed former human. Hulking horned schemer. Has blue skin.

Arachne or Drider. Spider human combination.

Aura or Wind Nymph. Flying offspring of Boreas. Keeps world cool.

Azeman. Inconspicuous parasite of human. Appears human at day bat at night. Vampiric. Feeds from victim's foot.

Bak. Tall water dweller. Shapeshifter. Identity thief. Powers from magic bag.

Bake-Neko. Cousin of Neko-Mata. Elevated former cat. Sizeshifter and shapeshifter. Prefers ordinary cat form. Feeds on lamp oil.

Barometz or Tartarian Lamb. Plant sheep hybridization. Rooted for part of life-cycle.

Behir or Nathair. Cousin of Dragon. Electricity replaces fire. Has no wings but many legs.

Berserker. Voluntary Werecreature. Raging warrior. Transformation from fungus and animal skin.

Bjarndyrakongur. Analogue of unicorn. Polar bear replaces horse. Wise ruler of bear. Glows.

Boggart. Cousin of Brunaidh. Pernicious prankster. Disappears if secret name spoken.

Brollachan or Boneless. Cousin of Vough. Eldritch jelly blob. Psychovampiric. Shapeshifter. Incapable of proper human speech. Loner.

Bugbear. Cousin of Goblin. Large hairy cave dweller. Sometimes harmless prankster sometimes deadly pillager.

Caladrius. Doctor bird. Lives in sun.

Capelobo. Anteater goat human combination. Vampiric. Stuns victim with shriek.

Cecaelia or Octofolk. Analogue of Merfolk. Octopus replaces fish.

Cherufe. Fiery underground being. Shapeshifter. Skin always hot and rocky. Manages geo-phenomena.

Chiruwi. Mysterious being. Like human cut lengthwise. Powerful potioneer.

Culebre. Variety of Dragon. Powerful magic user. Has wings but no legs. Cruel enemy of Xana.

Dingbat. Deer owl combination. Sounds like horse. Harmless prankster.

Draugr or Aptrgangr. Undead former human. Corpse self-reanimated to commit revenge. Eyes always blue. Deanimated when mission accomplished.

Dullahan. Undead former human. Has detachable head.

Efreeti♂ and Efreetah♀. Variety of Genie. Fiery enemy of Djinn. Bound to place instead of item.

Enra-Enra. Smoke being. Frightening but harmless.

Erchitu. Cursed former human. White bull with flaming horns. Brings bad fortune.

Ettin. Cousin of Troll. Giant tormenter of human. Uncivilized. Can have more than one head.

Fext or Matoha. Undead former human. Almost indestructible incorruptible corpse. Sometimes able to resume human-like existence sometimes must regularly return to grave.

Fideal. Green-skinned weed-haired water dweller. Cannibalistic. Drowns victim.

Firbolg. Cousin of Fomorian. Giant forest dweller. Once proud race. Nature guardian.

Fomorian. Cousin of Firbolg. Giant cave dweller. Once proud race. Individually deformed. Can control weather and cause disease.

Garkain. Hideous jungle dweller. Cannibalistic. Glides through air and suffocates victim with skin-flaps.

Garuda. Huge mountable bird. Sometimes partly human.

Glawackus. Bear wildcat hybridization. Sounds like hyena. Stuns victim with gaze.

Gonakadet or Sea Wolf. Elevated former human. Huge wolf with fins. Brings good fortune.

Gorgad. Agile jungle dweller. Male basically human. Female covered with fur. Not to be confused with Gorgon.

Hamadryad or Tree Nymph. Divine forest guardian. Life-force bound to broad-leafed tree.

Hecatoncheir or Centimane. Giant offspring of Uranus. Rock-hurling enemy of Titan. Has 50 heads and 100 arms.

Heliad or Sun Nymph. Radiant offspring of Helios. Cries amber tears.

Hodag. Huge hairy beast. Has assortment of spikes. Produces stench.

Ijiraq. Child stealer. Shapeshifter. Eyes always red.

Iku-Turso. Huge antlered sea serpent.

Jenglot. Animated doll. Spirit summoned by magic user. Vampiric. Gains fleshly essence by feeding.

Jiangshi. Undead former human. Psychovampiric. Has unnatural coloration and stiffness. Moves by hopping.

Jinmenken. Dog human combination. Fast runner. Loner. Frightening but harmless.

Karkadann. Unicorn rhinoceros hybridization. Cries carnelian tears.

Kikimora. Cousin of Brunaidh. Human bird hybridization. Easily offended. Can switch from mild-mannered helper to chaotic occupier.

Kinnara♂ and Kinnari♀. Human bird combination. Has both arms and wings. Male sometimes like female sometimes like Centaur. Magnificent human protector. Inspires art.

Korred or Corrigan. Enchanting forest dweller. Bewitching female appears basically human but sometimes small. Ugly at day beautiful at night. Confuses or steals human with magic dancing. Chaotic male appears as horse or goat.

Lakhe♂ and Lasin♀. Large tusked forest dweller. Has red or blue skin. Cannibalistic.

Lampad or Torch Nymph. Sullen marching worshiper of Hecate.

Leucrotta or Crocotta. Deer lion combination. Wily predator of human. Has wide mouth with bone-strips instead of teeth. Speech mimic.

Maenad or Mad Nymph. Wild dancing worshiper of Dionysus.

Makara. Huge trunked sea serpent.

Marid. Variety of Genie. Chaotic watery being. Not bound to item or place.

Melusine. Dragon human combination. Powerful magic user. Appears human but must regularly resume true form.

Merrow. Cousin of Merfolk. Female visits land as human with webbed hands and webbed feet. Transformation from magic hat. Male avoids land.

Miage-Nyudo. Intimidating predator of human. Appears human but can increase height. Can only feed on fearful victim.

Myrmidon. Ant human hybridization. Disciplined warrior.

Nachzehrer. Undead former human. Corpse self-reanimated to slay former loved-one. Psychovampiric. Sometimes has horns. Deanimated when mission accomplished.

Nack or Nixie. Cousin of Pixie. Water-controlling water dweller. Sometimes harmless prankster sometimes deadly lurer. Female human-like but swampy green. Male horse fox human combination.

Neko-Mata. Cousin of Bake-Neko. Elevated former cat. Has forked tail. Shapeshifter. Cemetery guardian. Fond of dancing.

Nephela or Cloud Nymph. Floating offspring of Oceanus. Manages water-cycle.

Ningen. Huge wide-mouthed sea monster. Runs across ice-sheets.

Nue. Monkey tiger snake combination. Sings sad song. Brings bad fortune.

Obda. Merry forest dweller. Has backwards body. Breathes with holes in armpits. Harasses human with tickling or forced dancing. Spawns from lost blood.

Oread or Mountain Nymph. Divine mountain guardian. Life-force bound to cone-bearing tree.

Papinijuwari. Monoeyed hunter. Vampiric. Sizeshifter.

Patasola. Monopedal jungle dweller. Vampiric. Sometimes partly animal.

Peryton. Deer eagle combination. Wise enemy of human. Bathes in blood. Lived in Atlantis.

Peuchen. Snake bat combination. Feeds on human heart. Stuns victim with whistle.

Pombero. Small hairy forest dweller. Silent enemy of Siren. Has backwards feet. Stuns victim with hand. Steals voice.

Pugot. Large hairy tree dweller. Headless. Has wide mouth on top of torso. Sometimes harmless thief sometimes ferocious cannibal.

Qilin. Dragon deer ox combination. Brings good fortune.

Rokurokubi. Charismatic parasite of human. Appears human but can extend neck. Psychovampiric. Fond of vermin.

Rusalka. Enchanting water dweller. Deadly lurer. Steals or drowns human.

Serket or Girtablilu. Scorpion human combination.

Shachihoko. Dragon carp combination. Has golden scales and sharp spikes. Can control weather.

Shikigami. Animated paper-doll. Spirit summoned by magic user.

Snallygaster. Huge monoeyed bird. Partly metal. Seizes victim with talons or tentacles.

Snawfus. Majestic mountain dweller. White winged deer. Produces mist.

Spriggan. Cousin of Pixie. Sizeshifter. Lives in ancient ruins. Can cause disease. Sometimes guards treasure.

Su or Succarath. Wildcat ape hybridization. Quadrupedal forest dweller. Has wasp-shaped torso and broad tail. Frenzied render of any approaching being. Caring parent.

Sylph. Light-bodied flying being. Embodies element of air.

Tariaksuq. Caribou human combination. Invisible hunter. Shadow visible.

Tarrasque. Variety of Dragon. Extra pair of legs replace wings. Voracious. Has magnificent mane and rugged natural armor.

Troglodyte. Robust cave dweller. Uncivilized. Sometimes basically human sometimes partly reptile.

Tsuchinoko. Broad-bodied leaping snake.

Tsukumogami. Animated inanimate object. Spirit spawns from 100 years of human ownership.

Undine. Cold-blooded swimming being. Embodies element of water.

Urisk. Cousin of Faun. Nature guardian. Loner.

Vaettrar. Tiny helper or prankster. Enters house from drain.

Vibria. Dragon eagle human combination. Has wings but no hind legs. Inspires joy.

Vodyanoi♂ and Vodyanitsa♀. Slimy water dweller. Male human frog hybridization. Female human-like but cold and slippery. Demands gift or sacrifice. Steals or drowns human if not propitiated.

Vough. Cousin of Brollachan. Shadowy lurker. Has webbed hands and webbed feet. Breathes with hole in head. Can transform into jelly blob.

Vrykolakas. Undead former human. Appears basically human but has wolf-like posture. Feeds on human liver.

Vulpangue. Flat fox. Envelopes victim.

Wemic or Leotaur. Analogue of Centaur. Lion replaces horse.

Wittewijven. Secretive wise being. Lives in ancient ruins or pit cave. Appears human but ghostly white. Can transform into mist. Fond of dancing.

Xana. Pleasing water dweller. Capricious. Sometimes gives treasure sometimes steals child. Not to be confused with Zanna.

Yacuruna. Mysterious water dweller. Has green or blue skin. Wise but unpredictable. Sometimes heals human sometimes steals human. Can transform into dolphin.

Yale or Centicore. Horse boar elephant combination. Has swiveling horns.

Yedua or Jidra. Plant human hybridization. Rooted perpetually. Vicious eater of any reachable being. Inspires evil.

Yuxa. Elevated former snake. Has poisonous spikes or sting. Sly. Can appear human or reptile or combination.

Zagh. Bird human combination. Speaks every language.

Zanna. Child protector. Invisible to adult. Not to be confused with Xana.

Zityron or Sea Soldier. Large walking fish. Lives in water but grazes on land. Has natural armor like plate-mail.

So many possibilities!

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

Fear of the Dark

RttE Fanfiction | Viggo Grimborn

CW: Spiders, Dead Animals, Canibalism, Eye horror

Fic under the cut

Viggo had developed a fear of the dark.

He'd never been afraid of such trivial things before, not even as a child. He'd never been plagued by monsters under his bed or creatures rapping at the shutters. He didn't have any irrational phobias or any particular anxieties. He had to admit, he did have an intense adversion to a few larger varieties of spiders, but honestly, was that not unjustifiable? And that was about it. Until now at least.

Viggo struggled to get to sleep. That was nothing new. He'd always had insomnia, ever since he was young. But recently, due to an ongoing war with a particular dragon rider, he'd been overworking himself as well, and doing such had left him utterly exhausted. He could barely stay awake, but he just couldn't get to sleep. He was clocking perhaps three hours a night at best. It was torturous.

This lethargy had affected his psyche rather horribly. As of late, whenever he closed his eyes, hs minds eye began to play tricks on him. Visions would suddenly flash into existence in his mind, and they were always gruesome, unsettling and distressing visions, visions that startled him so much that he'd physically jumped a few times upon being exposed to them. Once he'd seen a dirty, feral old man staring at him, and he'd immediately known that the figure was sizing him up, preparing to kill him and feed on his remains. Another time he'd seen a horse as black as night towering above him, dead and rotting, about to topple onto his body. There was the time he'd seen a great, hairy spider crawling out from underneath someone's eyelid, resembling mangled eyelashes. These visions were pervasive as anything, and he saw them just about every time he closed his eyes for more than a few moments. Sleep became utterly impossible.

Then things got even worse. The further lack of sleep brought about by these visions had only caused more visions to appear, and now they were appearing when his eyes were wide open. All it took was a bit of darkness and suddenly Viggo's mind was engulfed by terrible imagery. He'd taken to sleeping with a night light, leaving a lantern burning by his bedding, but the shadows the light created were just as horrible. No matter what he did, the visions just didn't go away.

Viggo finally cracked when the line between reality, visions and nightmares began to blur. Was he awake? Was he dreaming? Was he having visions? Was he having nightmares? He couldn't tell anymore. He needed outside intervention. He'd gone to the first person he'd thought of: Ryker. And... Ryker was willing to help him, though Odin knew why. Viggo had never expected that from him, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Though, what exactly Ryker had done to ease him back to normal, he couldn't remember. Memory of those weeks was blurry. It took some time before Viggo was able to get to sleep, and each time he'd drifted off he'd been startled awake by nightmares again, but the visions soon began to take their leave, little by little. He'd slept on and off for a few days, trying to regain some lost energy, and as he slept, nightmares became dreams and visions became nonexistent. It was like they'd never existed in the first place.

Viggo was still afraid of the dark, though. That was something that all the sleep in the world couldn't fix.

[paperanddice]

Asanbosam are large, hairy creatures that dwell in deep forests. While superficially similar to ogres, they don't seem to actually be related at all, with far more unnatural biology. Their lower legs are longer than their arms, and quite flexible, with taloned feet that are able to act like a second pair of hands. They often hide in low tree branches and drop their legs to catch passing prey, tearing at their body with its claws.

Speaking of its claws, the most unusual trait of the asanbosam is its claws and teeth. Both are composed of iron rather than bone, grown by the iron rich diet the creature prefers. A cut from these claws can poison the blood, and asanbosam will sometimes leave a cut or a bite on a creature they don't want to fight directly, then trail behind for days while the creature gets weaker, attacking when it's more vulnerable. They will sometimes hunt humanoids specifically to supplement their diet, grinding off shavings of metal from weapons and armor. Their taste for flesh blood and habit of hunting people have led to stories that they are vampires, but this is merely a coincidental similarity.

Azza are among the least violent and aggressive type of gremlin. They interact with humanoids far less than many other varieties, instead preferring to live among storm clouds, but those who make heavy use of electricity may attract them down to the surface. Lightning specialized wizards, or those experimenting with electricity powered machinery may find azza drawn to them. Fortunately, their love of lightning means that they have no interest in destroying sources, and will instead just try to live nearby and feed off of the ambient energy, flying about in the fields created by the electrical power. Most people will put up with an azza infestation, but some will try to put the creatures to use, particularly in battle. While the azza are not individually very threatening, their touch can make a target conduct electricity, potentially leaving them vulnerable to lightning based traps or the magic of the wizard.

Originally from the Tome of Beasts 1. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

Pathfinder 2e 

Asanbosam Creature 5 CE Large Aberration Perception +9; darkvision Languages Jotun Skills Athletics +13, Stealth +10 Str +4, Dex +1, Con +3, Int +0, Wis +0, Cha -3 AC 20; Fort +12, Ref +10, Will +9 HP 91 Speed 40 feet, climb 15 feet Melee jaws +13, Damage 2d8+6 piercing plus Virulent Tetanus Melee claw +13 (agile, reach 10 feet), Damage 2d4+6 slashing plus Grab and Virulent Tetanus Virulent Tetanus (disease); Saving Throw DC 20 Fortitude; Stage 1 2d4 poison damage (1 day); Stage 2 2d10 poison damage and clumsy 1 (1 day); Stage 3 2d10 poison damage and clumsy 2 and can't speak (1 day); Stage 4 4d10 poison damage and paralyzed with spasms (1 day); Stage 5 death

Azza Creature 0 N Small Fey Gremlin Perception +7; darkvision Languages Sylvan Skills Acrobatics +8, Nature +5, Stealth +8, Thievery +8 Str -3, Dex +4, Con +0, Int +1, Wis +1, Cha +0 AC 16; Fort +4, Ref +8, Will +5 HP 14; Immunities lightning, sonic Speed 10 feet, fly 40 feet Melee lightning touch +6 (electricity, finesse), Damage 1d4+2 electricity plus Contagious Lightning Ranged lightning jolt +6 (electricity, range 30 feet), Damage 1d4 electricity plus Contagious Lightning Contagious Lightning (curse, electricity, primal) A creature that touches the azza or hits it with a melee attack using a metal weapon must attempt a DC 13 Fortitude saving throw. On a failure, the creature attracts lightning for 1 minute, gaining vulnerable 5 electricity, and if it takes electricity damage it must repeat the saving throw or be stunned 1 (stunned 2 on a critical failure). Ride the Bolt [reaction] (electricity, teleportation) If the azza is within 5 feet of a spell or other effect with the electricity trait except its own, it can teleport to any unoccupied space within 5 feet of the effect.

13th Age 

Asanbosam Large 3rd level troop [aberration] Initiative: +6 Iron Claws and Fangs +8 vs. AC (2 attacks) - 10 damage. Natural 14+: The target is also dazed (save ends). First Failed Save: The target is dazed and stuck (save moves back up one stage). Second Failed Save: The target Is weakened and stuck (save moves back up one stage). Third Failed Save: The target is stunned (save moves back up one stage). Wall Climber. AC 19 PD 18 MD 13 HP 82

Azza Level 0 spoiler [humanoid] Initiative: +6 C: Lightning Jolt +5 vs. PD - 3 lightning damage. Natural Even Hit: The target is vulnerable to lightning damage (save ends). Ride the Bolt: 1/turn, as an interrupt action, the azza can teleport to a nearby point adjacent to any lightning effect that occurs (such as anywhere along the length of a lightning bolt, or next to a creature that casts shocking grasp). Flight. AC 18 PD 14 MD 10 HP 16

[rinitachan]

Ok so I know not everyone on my blog is a Resident Evil fan…

But I remembered this is my house so I can do what I want.

So I’m gonna be honest. RE8 isn’t the worst in the series (you’d have to work to be worse than Resident Evil Gaiden, the Gun Survivor mini series [no offense to the fans of it], the disappointing RE3 remake, or the shitshow that was RE6). But I’m annoyed at the lack of enemy variety or creativity.

There are minions for most of the 4 lords and the ones given to Dimitrescu and Heisenberg (I’m not counting Beneviento, you couldn’t really fight the dolls or the baby), make sense given that the four lords are based around classic horror stories/subcategories of horror stories/literature.

Starting with Alicna Dimitrescu, she is based on Dracula and her daughters are based off of the three wives Dracula had in the book. She drinks blood and uses her claws plus she has a bat form. Those all work. Her minions are called Moroaicǎ and look like this:

This works as a vampire’s servant.

Now Karl Heisenberg has different mechanical abominations that he presumably created, this makes sense as his character was inspired by Viktor Frankenstein. These creatures match his inspiration perfectly.

And we have reached my biggest complaints. First of all Salvatore Moreau was inspired by Lovecraftian body horror, his design is suitably fishy and unnatural, reminding me a great deal of the Deep One hybrids from the Shadow Over Innsmouth. However, he does not have minions matching his theme. Resident Evil has had an entire game with Fish-zombie creatures created by the T-Abyss virus (Resident Evil Revelations) and they would have been fine to reuse here. But we did not. Instead he had the enemy type I found the most disappointing.

THE LYCANS.

Look at this:

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING WEREWOLF TO YOU?!

Dear god I hate how they were so boring to look at and their name makes no goddamn sense. This could’ve been a better idea of monsters that are still continuing to transform as time goes on. A friend said a werewolf would be silly. Until I pointed him towards the werewolf infection from Ginger Snaps, a slow and permanent transformation that is not dependent upon the moon. Resident Evil 8 could have given us something like that, but no, we get kinda hairy dudes with long nails and jacked up teeth.

YOU COULD’VE JUST MADE ACTUAL WEREWOLVES, YOU COWARDS!

Okay rant done.

[caddy-crystal-queen]

⚒️(Starter) Karl Van Heisenberg ( A Van Helseing AU)🐺⚒️

In 1888 Germany a bounty hunter named Karl Van Heisenberg was hunting down lycans vampires Soldat zombie creatures that used to be created by his father Alexander Heisenberg who created a monster that would change everything his greatest Creation ever The Sturm Monster he wanted to use him for good but there was a vampire lord Tessarion who wanted this monster to aboy and keep as a wepon to create a army of strong dangerous vampires no one knew how to kill this Lord Tessarion.

Karl Heisenberg was out at the city of Berlin the most wanted man for killing even though he hates killing some of these creatures he was always fascinated by them but he had to kill them to protect the people of Berlin but he was never raise up here he lived in a small village in Britain England.

Heisenberg hears a scream as he rushes to the crime scene seeing a man dead body that was slice cut on the neck and just such a gruesome scene eximain the body which is something he enjoys is corpse but he knew it was wrong turning around he see a giant hairy man a beard like Santa Claus this monster climbing up a high chapel this man was such a pain on Heisenberg ass trying to catch him for four years back in the village but now Karl will hunt him down.

Walking into the chapel it was dark with only fire lights hanging up holding his steampunk metal pistols at his side still walking around till Urias jumps down in front of him growling at Heisenberg "Boo .....so still trying to stop me Heisenberg I though you were the same as us cadou lycans creatures " as he walks around Karl as he smlies as threat back at Urias " Hmpth I alreday killed your brother for his crimes back in the village and yes I know I have the werewolf disease but this is now that was the past your a psychopath man who kills woman and men smashing there heads in just so you can eat them me on the other hand I just stop whomever in my way but enough chit chat let call it a day so I can kill you "He smirks placeing his glasses slightly down his nose looking up at Urias whlie smokeing a cigar " I will smash your brain in Heisenberg " wacking Karl with his hand sending him flying landing on weak wooden boxes till he get back up and shots Urias climbing up one of the high wooden roof waiting for the right moment as he cuts off the cadou creature arm with his sharp metal razors that came back to him useing his telepathic magnetic powers then district him with shifting fast under his legs turning around quick useing a dart rope stabbing the back of dragging Urias out of the chapel jumping up high with his werewolf abilities Urias pushes him kicking Heisenberg to the edge as he start to swing his hammer till Karl stabs him with a metal sharp bar that his hand flick slams into his hand stabbing Urias in the chest as he falls to the side of the chapel looking down people see Heisenberg up on the chapel roof shouting at him calling the Oli metallic hunter man a murderer he just places his hat back on smlieing devilsh not caring what people say about him as he head off to his secret factory hideout to find out who he need to hunt down next on the list.

@caddy-crystal-queen

Redfield had a new assignment for him. Looking through the documents there was a case in Romania, a variety of creatures that potentially needed slaying, and at least one needing to be captured for study.

A gryphon. His employers wanted to him to capture a gryphon. Something he had never done...

From the few pictures he had, it wasn't a true gryphon but a shifter like him. A woman, Cadenza Revan, was gifted with the ability to change form at will. Some thought her a monster and others a protector. Her sister Cordelia had recently gone missing, abducted by one of Lord Tessarion's subjects. This was his chance to find and kill the vampire lord...

An additional note caught the mans attention: "You're getting a partner for this. I'm sending Ethan with you. Be careful..." Chris wrote, "don't mess this up and don't make a mess. We aren't here to tie your shoelaces every time you trip. Good luck..."

Asshole...always doubting his ability because he always made a mess of things. Hey, hunting monsters was bloody work...

@househeisenbergoffrankenstein21

[dailycharacteroption]

Roleplaying Races 9: Lashunta

(art by Matheus Leiras Xavier at MatLX on Artstation)

 We’ve gone over this trope several times on the blog, particularly when talking about Starfinder races, that the trope of the hot alien women has been with us for a very long time in Science Fiction. It seems no matter how far we come, we’ll always hope that somewhere out there is an alien race that is not only attractive to us, but close enough to us to share that attraction right back.

Of course, the issue with the Lashunta is that when they were originally designed, they also smacked of a lot of early pulp sci-fi tropes as well. (Their original artwork has them half-naked riding the back of their iconic shotalashu mounts, fer crissake!) For example, at the time of original design, they seemed to have a distinct sexual dimorphism, where females with lithe and elegant, the males were rough, crude, and hairy. (some sources even used the word ugly). Which smacks of those old pulp tropes of “hot alien women meet actually hot men for the first time in their lives and want a piece of that action, and also the jealous ugly males are coded as villainous”.

Luckily, in the far future of Starfinder, we learn that their dimorphism is actually not split along gender lines, but rather on upbringing, the lashunta adapting based on how harsh the conditions of their upbringing were, either becoming one of the elegant damaya, or the rough and tumble korasha. (Also, they toned down the negativity associated with the korasha appearance.) It turns out that the only reasons that these dimorphic forms were associated with gender at all was because of cultural mores of the lashunta during the Pathfinder era, which would become relaxed over the centuries.

Lashunta’s matriarchal society is one that revolves around the political maneuvering of their individual scattered city states on their homeworld of Castrovel, which they keep in contact with due to their natural telepathy and various magics. In addition to their pursuits of magic, they also maintain armies which include the telepathically-bonded shotalashu outriders who patrol the jungles for hostile monsters, as well as watching out for the movements of their sworn enemies, the formian hives to the south, whom lasting peace with will not come until far in the future.

As warm-blooded creatures on a hot jungle world, clothing exists purely in a protective or ceremonial capacity, with most lashunta civilians going about their daily lives wearing very little. (Doesn’t explain why we got art of a shotalashu rider in such a lack of attire aside from as an homage to pulp era art, but hey, we and Paizo have moved past that.)

Interestingly, while on the surface one might imagine that the damaya and korasha dimorphism would limit the roles that one can pursue within their society, that’s not really the case. True, korasha are expected to channel their brusque attitudes and physical might into warfare and physical labor, but they also highly value mental pursuits including the acquisition of knowledge and the development of magic and their natural psychic abilities, just as much as the damaya might, and the damaya easily equal the korasha when it comes to joining in warfare, including bonding with shotalashu mounts.

Speaking of which, physically the lashunta all resemble humans in their body plan, with skin tones that range between the human norm and subtle grays, greens, and blues, often with ridges or symmetrical bumps on the foreheads, as well as a pair of antennae emerging from their hairline. Said hair can in itself be a wide range of colors as well. The differences in their dimorphism cause korasha to be stocky, broad, and powerful, with lots of body hair, as well as much shorter than damaya (though how short varies by writer. In their original text, they were described as being only about half the height of their kin, whereas starfinder sources put them at around 5 feet to the damaya’s average of 7). Meanwhile, the damaya are tall and elegant beings with slender builds.

 Both clades of lashunta are highly intelligent, though korasha favor strength at the cost of brash behavior, while the damaya are charming, but frail.

Regardless of which type they are, they all possess some psychic potential, capable of dazing foes, moving small objects, and occasionally reading minds.

This extends to telepathic communication as well, though it is limited by distance and language normally.

Scholarly as they are, they tend to know a lot about a variety of subjects.

Of course, there is some variety among the lashunta, though the only variant known in the Pathfinder era are those that lack innate magic in favor of using their telepathy to subtly influence those they communicate with.

 With the dangers of Castrovel being as present as they are, adventuring is fairly common for the Lashunta, especially with so much of their world being unmapped and ever-changing jungle. Magic is common among them, and while damaya may be frail by comparison, they do not shy away from such paths, making mixed paths like bloodrager, magus, and the like fairly common. Their propensity for psychic power makes the various occult classes quite viable as well. Additionally, the cavaliers known as lashunta outriders are quite capable with their shotalashu (or other mounts).

The trick is actually playing one, as unless you plan on running a game that features heavily interplanetary travel or on Castrovel itself, they are unlikely to show up in the Lost Omens setting. However, it is not impossible, as just like the kasatha, entire cultures of lashunta have found themselves in Numeria thanks to the ancient alien craft that abducted some for study, only to crash there thousands of years ago.

[kurosukii]

Cw: body image, race, fetishizing, fetishization

Warning this long:

To the anon that stopped watching porn bc of body image issues:

Even when porn "tries" (I use that term in the loosest way possible) to be "inclusive" it's really just fetishizing. Porn really was just meant for white cishet men.

If you see any POC in porn that is always highlighted and if course categorized. Why? Bc is a fucking fetish. Like seriously? You have, Latina, Black girl, Thug, Asian, BBW, Midget, Mature. Like say good bye to just watching 2 average people with or without a handicap have sex. And even that will just be under amateur if you want the homemade stuff, which still lacks in variety. I have found more inclusivity in those and they're usually just under amateur and not categorized with "amateur black/asian/latina/bbw and so on "

But either way I generally end up watching hentai (bc fuck realism) or something animated or cg. Like serious the only time you'll see diversity is in animated or CG stuff. I say variety bc you'll find vids with monsters, aliens, and whatever.

My friend who is married to a white man says that all his friends asked him, "how is it to have sex with a black woman?" And he was like, "dafuq? Like anyone else bc she's a woman". She said white men, older men especially, would target her bc they somehow thought black women were different in bed.

The best you'll get is sticking to fics and even then it's hard unless you have a self indulgent writer who isn't the euro centric beauty standard and waifish. It's funny bc we say eurocentric, but European men aren't bothered by women with body hair or plus sized women like it is over here in America. Well, I may be over-generalizing bc I'm sure it's more common in certain European countries where a hairier woman is commonplace. When I went to Europe it was more common to see men, regardless of body type, being with a variety of women. So you'd see someone like Bo or Sakusa that would happily be with a plus sized and petite woman and be totally smitten regardless. Same on the other end. Women that some would consider hot and thin being with average men that are of various body types.

I wonder if you get those apps to switch your VPN how different the porn results would be. When I went to Japan and went onto pornhub the videos that popped up were vastly different than what shows up in America.

In Spain there is a female porn director that takes stories written by people that watch her stuff and she turns them into porn. So basically you'd write a self indulgent scenario and send it to her and then she makes a porn out of it. But her videos are more on the romantic side, and also more geared to females in the sense that it's not the over the top grossness you sometimes see with male dominated vids. Like those can be good in small doses bc yeah, sometimes I just want to see a guy really rail a chick.

I'm generally not physically attracted to white men so I have to not focus on the actors too. And again all POC content is fetishizing. Any non thin body or abled body is also fetishized.

My issues appearance wise is that in hairy and also have lots of facial hair bc of pics so that's something I get shamed for and something you won't really see anywhere. I mean I'm not thin by American standards either. I have a saggy belly and lots of loose skin around it bc of kids. I always say it looks like a sad basset hound (yeah I'm really selling myself here) And freaking MILF porn is def not representative of what actual moms look like post kids.

🐍

wewww naur cause agree with the whole fetishizing part 100% pawrn is fake afff (the well funded ones anyway, amateur is slightly slightly better) and yeahhh @ nonnie don’t feel too bad about yourself bc you’re amazing and beautiful and don’t let pawrn define you <33 (NOT THE BASSET HOUND !1’wnfjdnd)

[crossoverworldtree]

Kapre (20-Point Quality)

Kapre are hairy tree spirits well noted for their love of Tobacco, they seem to never be without a cigar. Some believe this creature to be a variety of Bogey, as they enjoy frightening children, but for some this seems to be a protective angel (IE: “You kids shouldn’t be out this late!”).

Kapre have +3 Dexterity and +2 Constitution.  Their sheer size still grants them +5 to strength, and +20 Life Points.  Their mass is 2.5 times that of a normal human of similar build. They are innately magical, have the Scale Walls ability, Night Vision, and Wilderness Speech.  They also have Emotional Influence (Fear) at -2.  

On the negative side, they have two Faery Compulsions.  One, to protect the forest (in particular their “Home Tree”), and two, Scare Children Away from Dangerous Things.  They have Attractiveness -2 for being big hairy monsters, and have Addiction (Heavy Smoking).

[commander-isekai]

Commander Isekai - commander from an another world

A/N:

Hi all! This my tongue-in-cheek fic about a commander, who’s actually a human player from the real world, and who now lives through the game, but armed with previous knowledge about it. They aren’t happy just to follow along a story, so things will get different quickly enough. Hence their name is commander Kai, as a pun from the isekai genre. I’ve been inspired by similar fics done about other games, and I thought gw2 could be a fun one too.

Chapter One:

The Second Awakening or how I found myself in a video game world

Sometimes, all you can remember is falling. It was the only sensation I could comprehend. The world around me was a blurry, like a messy watercolor painting. If there were any noises, I couldn't hear them. I just fell.

A painfully bright light drilled into my eyes.

I woke up with a great thump, as I landed into a large pile of dry leaves. They managed to soften my landing to a degree, but I was aching from all over, like if I had rolled downhill like a cheese in a cheese-wheeling competition, determined to win the first place no matter how crumbly my state would be at the finish line.

"This fucking sucks.." I groaned, tossing my arm out and trying to find my glasses, or my phone, but only grasped more leaves. I hoped I hadn’t broken either one during my fall.

"Are you alright, Valiant?" I heard a concerned voice ask, "the awakening can be sometimes rough, but you'll find your bearings soon enough."

Oh no, had I fallen asleep outside? I had a bad habit of dozing off, but the embarrassment of sleeping outside and this kind person having to wake me up made me wish I could knock myself out permanently rather than face them.

"Yeah yeah, I'm sorry about this, just give me a minute..." I tried to form coherent sentences while pushing my hair away, but my hand gathered only more leaves? and no hair??

I pulled my hand in front of my face and yelped in surprise when I saw that it was bright lavender, a color that my regular human hands should not be, and that I was grasping purple and pink ferns instead of my regular colored human hair.

"Wh-what the hell is going on?" I looked at myself and the person helping me, and only then I realized they weren't human either, but a pea-green person who seemed to be made out of plant material and flowers. Behind them, I could see a shimmering lake and a small village, with more denizens similar to them and me.

As I gasped upon the scene, the two braincells inside my skull finally hit a nerve and made the connection that I had been missing:

A) Somehow, I was in Caledon Forest. Like, the starting zone in Guild Wars 2, an MMO I used to play lot back in the day until I got too busy with my life and other video games.

B) Also somehow, I wasn't a human anymore. I was a walking, talking, internally-panicking sylvari.

C) Last but not least, I could see everything clearly without glasses. This fact stressed me out the most. Had my vision somehow been fixed when I fell? I did like my old glasses, and really hoped they were in one piece somewhere.

"Are you feeling enough well to stand?" the sylvari that must be a mender asked me, offering a hand that I gladly took as I wobbled onto my feet like a newborn calf.

“I think I am?” I answered hesitantly, not certain if I’d stay upright after she’d let go of me.

" I am mender Lorean. What's your name?" the sylvari asked me.

" Um, Kai" I said, as the first name in my mind was the name of my commander character, "short of Cainneach, but just Kai is fine."

It didn't feel right to introduce myself with my given human name, as it was definitely not a sylvari name, and that would have revealed me being something else than your regular baby sprout. I really wasn't married to that name anyway, so Kai came out naturally. I had already used Kai as a all-around nickname, so I settled into it like putting on a new, yet surprisingly comfortable shirt.

"Alright, Valiant Kai", seeing as I could hold on my own against the gravity, Lorean let go of my hand, and explained: "Now, it can take some time to get used to the world outside the Dream. You shouldn't wander off too far from the Grove, at least not until you're experienced enough. You should find anything you need inside the city, and the mentors will help you along. Caithe also asked me to tell you that she wants to speak with you, when you are ready."

The mender that helped me did not seem to comment on my errantic behaviour - they must have seen a wild variety of saplings in their time.

"Wait, why do you keep calling me a valiant?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around what I could remember about Caithe. The total sum was not much - an assassin with a troubled past: a guild of heroes that basically cut ties after a failed dragon killing quest and ex-girlfriend who's in the lead of the bad Nightmare sylvari. That'd be a lot for anyone.

"Caithe told me, about how you joined forces with her to defeat the a large nightmare beast in the Dream. That must be a sign of a great Wyld Hunt", Lorean explained, and asked curiously: "don't you remember the Dream?"

Oh right. The Dream, or the tutorial part with the big dragon monster. I somehow completely skipped that in this new, 4D-supported version of Tyria. At least I did not remember experiencing anything resembling fighting a giant dragon to death, not after waking up here. I had an inkling that telling so would only raise more questions, and I had plenty of those myself.

  "Oh yes, it's all coming back to me", I lied with a practiced straight face, "I must have just hit my head hard when I awoke, that's all.  I'll be on my way now, thanks!" 

I waved and nearly dashed to an exit before Lorean could respond. They were being just nice, sure, but I needed a moment for myself with no one else right now, or I would explode on the spot.

'''

Not far from the village, but enough far that no one would hopefully bother me, I made my way to the large pond, to really take in all the changes.

"Oh no, the fireflies are actually that big", I grimaced when I saw a group of the flying creatures gather around one of the light-giving plants, "That's going to take some time getting used to."

I sat down next to the water's edge, and I could finally take a look at my new features. They were nothing like what I'd been used to - instead of soft skin, my face was hard, bark-like texture. My hair was like plant's leaf, yet sturdier - it hurt when I tried to pull it. My form was different too, almost like I had had a second puberty without knowing it - my limbs were taller than what I had been used to, and I felt my presentation was more masculine than what it had been when I was human.

The more I sat and contemplated my situation, everything around me seemed to make no sense. I was stuck in an unfamiliar body, in the role of the main character of a video game, and while I did not remember every detail of what happened in the story, I knew it wouldn't take long for things to get hairy. Why I was here? Why did I look like this?  No matter how I tried to rationalize it, I had no answers, and I was only left with piling up frustration, and tears began to form in the corners of my eyes.

“Hey, are you alright?” A new voice dragged me out of my depths. It belonged to a blue sylvari with a mushroom-capped head, and whose leaf-like outfit seemed to grow naturally as a part of their body.

“I don’t know, it’s just - a lot of stuff to process. The whole awakening, and everything”, I told them as honestly as I could.

“You seemed to be a little more lost than the other sprouts - and I do not mean that in a judgmental way”, the sylvari said and hold out something: “here, take this, it will help.”

“Oh, thank you”, I accepted the carved bowl that seemed to be made out of a giant nut, and the gentle smell of pumpkin soup overwhelmed me. Gods, I realized only now how starved I felt, like I had not eaten properly for days.

“I don’t have any money, or gold-” I tried to say, but the other sylvari cut in quickly:

“Do not worry about it! I hope you have a pleasant evening!” 

The sylvari took off, and I was too mesmerized by their kindness towards a random stranger like me that it did not even occur to me to ask their name. The soup, still warm in my hands was a temptation too great to resist, and I wasted no time devouring it.

Maybe this world isn’t too bad after all, if people are gifting food freely to others like that, I thought to myself, earlier anguish almost completely forgotten.

[vex-bittys]

Imagine the Possum-bilities: An Underfell Story (part 1)

Note: This story is based on this artwork commissioned by @melodyrider.

Red went dumpster diving for leftovers, but instead he found a friend. Good thing his brother is so open-minded and accepting, otherwise things could go hilariously wrong!

Doom and Gloom

"WHAT," squawked Edge, jabbing one long phalanx at the narrow white face poking out of Red’s jacket, “IS THAT?” Unblinking beady black eyes met glowing red eyelights. A tiny pink nose, bristling with whiskers, twitched.

“it’s mine is what it is,” said Red with a cooler-than-thou attitude. The creature added a hiss of agreement. Red and his jacket passenger brushed past Edge and walked into the house. Doomfanger, Edge’s large white cat, eyed both of them skeptically from her palatial cat tree.

“YOU CAN’T BRING THAT THING INTO OUR HOUSE,” protested Edge. Ignoring him, Red bent down and unzipped his jacket. His passenger waddled out onto the floor, long hairless tail raised as if it owned the place. Doomfanger and Edge emitted nearly identical huffs of indignation.

“you have Doomfanger,” Red pointed out. “and now I have-” Red paused for only a fraction of second to contemplate “- Gloomfanger.” Gloomfanger chirped in a very un-gloomy manner, much to Red's delight. 

While his brother sputtered his outrage from the front door, Red crouched, fishing what had once been a piece of gourmet burger from Grillby's out of his pocket. Unlike a fine cheese or wine, the meat did not age well in its lint-lined improvised cellar.  Red tossed the morsel to Gloomfanger, who gobbled it down happily.

"SANS! SANS, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" Red was, in fact, far too fascinated by Gloomfanger's precious little hand paws to do anything more than half listen to his brother's tirade, but he could tell that proverbial steam must be shooting out of Edge's ear canals. "YOU CAN'T JUST BRING THAT… THAT THING INTO OUR HOUSE!"

In addition to the perceived ear steam, Red could hear his brother's characteristic foot stomping behind him. He ignored Edge’s antics, choosing to focus on Gloomfanger's needle-sharp teeth as the hairy creature open-mouth chewed more pocket offerings, and threw his answer over his shoulder in an officious voice. "he's an opossum, Boss. and his name's Gloomfanger."

“WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND SOMETHING LIKE THAT?” Edge gestured at Gloomfanger. The possum, not overly fond of the conversation’s tone or the wild gesturing, scurried under the couch to hide. Curious and equally done with the drama, Doomfanger followed.

“in the dumpster behind Grillby’s,” explained Red as if it should be obvious that one found pets by dumpster diving.

“WHY, EXACTLY, WERE YOU IN THE DUMPSTER BEHIND GRILLBY’S?”

“the second i walked in, Grillby was all like ‘pay your tab’ and ‘stop butt scooting across the floor’ like he owns the place.”

“HE DOES OWN THE PLACE.”

“yeah, well, he also throws out perfectly good leftovers as soon as monsters stop eating ‘em! i didn’t want to deal with Grillbs, so i headed out back for some chow. when i looked in the dumpster, i saw Gloomy laying on a plate of fries that were still warm! i thought he was dead, and he smelled terrible…”

“SO YOU DECIDED TO RESUSCITATE IT?” Edge interrupted incredulously. 

“what? no. i picked him up to move him so i could get the fries, and he resuscitated himself! he climbed right into my jacket and made himself at home, so i snagged the fries and we shared them.”

Edge just sighed, at a complete loss for words. His disgusting brother deserved an equally disreputable and unkempt pet to share his garbage-eating tendencies with. Gloomfanger would feel right at home in Red’s disaster of a bedroom. Speaking (or rather thinking) of Gloomfanger…

“where’d Gloomfanger go?”

“IS YOUR DISGUSTING TRASH BEAST UNDER THE SOFA WITH MY DARLING DOOMFANGER?”

Eyelights bulging, Edge leapt onto the coffee table, grabbed the couch with both hands and upturned it, flinging it into the back wall of their living room. Doomfanger and Gloomfanger blinked up at him, then Doomfanger resumed grooming the possum’s round, hairless ears and purring. The possum made a grumbling sound that resembled the purr in the same way that the possum itself resembled the primped and preened Doomfanger.

Edge narrowed his sockets at Gloomfanger. “I’M WATCHING YOU,” he warned, using two slender phalanges to point to his sockets then to Gloomfanger. Gloomfanger regarded him coolly and burped.

Snorting, Red started up the stairs to prepare a spot in his aforementioned disaster of a room for his new pet to sleep. He stopped halfway up to call for Gloomfanger. “my bro’s watchin’ you,” he reminded the possum in a stage whisper, “so don’t go knockin’ her up or anything.”

The garbage-gobbling pair darted the rest of the way up the stairs with Edge’s outraged screeches chasing behind them.

Red spent the next hour sifting through piles of unwashed clothing, sorting them into new configurations until he had some passably clean blankets, sheets, and a few towels crammed haphazardly into his closet as a private nesting place for Gloomfanger. Gloomy climbed onto the pile, stomped it down to a serviceable height, and chirped in satisfaction. Red watched proudly as the possum pulled itself into a possum-loaf shape- yet another rough-around-the-edges mimicry of one of Doomfanger’s common behaviors.

As he crawled into bed (a mattress on the floor with a nest similar to Gloomfanger’s strewn across it), Red smiled to himself. His brother had Doomfanger, and now he had a pet too. Red didn’t dislike the spoiled feline, but he sometimes resented her, which was much different than being jealous of her, at least in his mind. Before Doomy arrived on their doorstep in the middle of a blizzard one night, it had just been him and his bro, two skeleton brothers against the dangerous world.

From babybones to stripes, Red had been a protective older brother, making sure that Edge never lacked anything despite the struggles that they both faced. Edge grew into a powerful and capable adult monster, but he still leaned on his big brother when he needed someone to confide in. Red cherished his position in Edge’s life. Very few monsters in their universe could boast having any sort of close bond with another monster… and then the little white ball of fluff showed up like a snow poff sprung to life and changed things.

If he were being completely honest and not at all in denial, Red would admit that he now needed Edge much more than his brother needed him. Instead, he half-heartedly blamed Doomfanger for replacing him. Edge would stroke her silky fur whenever he felt upset or pressured by his position in the Royal Guard. Edge also gave her an abundance of his doting, doting that had once exclusively fallen onto Red. Red shared all of these hidden thoughts (and a few of his favorite jokes) with his new companion, Gloomfanger. 

Now Red wouldn’t rely on Edge as much, just the same way that Edge no longer relied on him. It served his brother right, in his opinion.

Meanwhile, Edge busied himself tidying up the living room. The coffee table drooped a bit, but the couch had survived its assault remarkably well. While her owner righted the furniture he had displaced, Doomfanger made an admirable bound back onto her cat tree throne to oversee the work from an appropriately lofty elevation.

Edge brushed himself off to remove the nonexistent dirt of a job well done and surveyed the living room. His eyelights came to rest on Doomfanger, and he found himself comparing her to Red’s unsightly new pet. Doomfanger oozed grace and majesty. The pure white feline was perfectly groomed, perfectly regal, and perfectly ferocious, just like a certain tall, dark, and handsome skeleton. Gloomfanger reeked, looked perpetually much worse for wear, and probably had no idea what the word grooming even meant. The gears in Edge’s mind turned, and a deep meaning floated around just past the reach of clear conscious thought.

Edge ignored the potential epiphany. He went into the kitchen and dug around under the sink until he found an old bowl of Doomfanger’s, a simple shiny metal dish that Edge had quickly replaced with something more elegant for his pampered cat. It would do nicely for what he had in mind though. 

Red stumbled tiredly into the kitchen the next morning, scratching his tailbone and squinting against the bright light. Gloomfanger waddled contentedly at his heels making a variety of grunting sounds that proved to be indiscernible from Red’s own. Red pulled up short when he saw the gleaming metal dish next to Doomfanger’s… full to the brim with the same expensive food that Edge gave his beloved pet. Gloomfanger bumped into the back of Red’s legs and gave an irritated squeak.

“what’s with the extra food there, Boss?” Edge ignored Red’s use of his babybones nickname, a name Red only used to annoy him or disguise those pesky affectionate emotions.

“IT’S NOTHING,” Edge snapped, using a very similar tactic to distract his brother from the act of kindness and acceptance. “I JUST DON’T WANT THAT DIRTY ANIMAL STEALING ANY OF DOOMFANGER’S FOOD IS ALL.”

“riiiiiiiight.”

Gloomfanger’s nose twitched, and the possum shuffled forward to investigate the gourmet chow. Doomfanger stepped up to her dish, and together, the two animals began to eat. Edge and Red both took seats at their kitchen table. Soon two creatures that embodied class sat side-by-side with two unsavory but lovable creatures to dine in companionable silence.

Instead of widening the rift between the skeleton brothers, Gloomfanger’s presence laid the foundation for a bridge to be built over it.

READ ON AO3

INDEX | NEXT

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[kiilonova]

ranking cactus emojis for style and accuracy

Apple: 5/10. there was an attempt, it’s a little cartoony but you can tell where it’s going

Google: 6/10. kinda simple, but not the worst. the body color is good but spikes kinda look like green bugs. still, it could feature as a set piece for an elementary school cowboy play

Microsoft: 1/10. brobee from yo gabba gabba what happened to you. what is this. it’s like a hairy coat hanger. why is it so bright green

Samsung: 1/10 far too smooth and yet also too bumpy. looks like a zombified download button

WhatsApp: 6/10. twitter cactus’s pretty friend. the texture and spines are a little off and the flowers aren’t right for a saguaro but she’s trying her best

Twitter: -2/10. this is an irradiated pickle.

Facebook: 7/10. now we’re getting somewhere! look at the spines distributed vertically along the ridges! someone’s been on google images

Emojidex: 2/10. im pretty sure this thing was an aquabats monster.

Messenger: -50/10. an even worse irradiated pickle. what the fuck happened here. why is it floating. did i miss a new pokemon release?

LG: 7/10. some variety! we love a beavertail in this house. spines are sparse but they took a risk so i’ll give them some points

HTC: 0/10. this is a long watermelon with two dicks

[watarigarasu]

October 20th – Haunted Building

13 Days of Spooky Writing Event

Pairing: Tauriel x Reader

Word count: 1,914

Warnings: None

Author’s note: I have literally no idea what happened here, this story practically wrote itself. :) Also, it takes place in modern setting!

You could still recall the excitement flowing through your veins like a molten gold, the sweet buzzing in your heart and the warm squeeze in your stomach when you finally heard the words you were dreaming about for so long now. It was hard to comprehend that they were not part of your wild imagination, nor another made up scenario you created in your head right before falling asleep—those were actually real. Her offer was honest and it was no kind of joke, you did not misunderstand anything from the very direct and simple invitation, it was no mistake.

Tauriel truly asked you to join her in the amusement park next Tuesday.

However, right when the very first wave of bliss eventually faded away, you started to worry and as the time passed, the anxiety growing in your mind seemed to expand, almost completely blinding the previous joy. Countless questions piled, one more ridiculous than another but every single one of them occupying your thoughts for longer than you would want it to. It was enough to be stressed about meeting with the prettiest, the most talented and charismatic girl in your university—or so you considered her—worrying about any other, more or less possible scenario happening during that day was unnecessary for your already cluttered head.

What if she did not mean only you two, but some of her other friends also? There were always people surrounding her, two particularly handsome and apparently polar opposite boys accompanying her more often than the others. What if it was supposed to be simply a group meeting? What if you would make a fool of yourself one way or another? And most importantly, what if she did not see you the same way you saw her?

You barely managed to fall asleep for the whole hour at least during the night before, now nowhere near excited but rather scared of what was coming up. It was either the best opportunity to finally start talking to her about something less trivial or to prove her that you were not worth her time. Your worry increased as the inevitable hour was getting closer and closer and it peaked when you were standing at the amusement park’s main gate.

Although the afternoon was chilly, there was a lot of people on the carousels, buying deliciously smelling snacks and running from one attraction to another in a hurry. The sky became dark some time ago but it only made all the decorations and lanterns light more brightly, the variety of sounds and colours surrounding you from every direction. Fallen leaves rustled on the wind, the trees reached their branches up like a shadowy claws of some nightmare creatures and the overwhelming aura of upcoming Halloween was visible in every single corner of the fair.

Still, all you could think of was her. What are you going to talk about? Will Legolas be there, too? Perhaps you should eat something before going out, your stomach was starting to grumble but the stress prevented you from eating anything quite successfully. You were present few minutes ahead of time (speaking of making a good first impression) and you felt like waiting for her will be the worst part of it all. Once you start to talk, things should go smooth from that point.

Right…?

“There you are!” Tauriel’s voice cut through the cacophony of mechanical melodies, children’s giggling and screams of those who dared to try the hammer ride, and it was both the most breath-taking and frightening moment of your life. Slowly, you spun around to face her and saw the gentle smile on her sharp features. “I started to worry you won’t come.”

Quick peek over her shoulder proved you that she had no company this time. Just you and her.

“Why shouldn’t I?” You sighed with relief after your recent discovery. “I told you I’ll be here. Besides, I’d let you know beforehand if something happened.”

“I’m glad it didn’t then.” She looked at the booth you were standing next to and eyed the spooky themed candies before continuing. “Should we head to the main attraction of the day or do you want to buy something?”

Even though you liked the bat-shaped lollipop, you have forgotten about it already and agreed to go with her. The screams of those stuck on the rollercoaster did not create the most romantic mood but all you could think of was how picturesque her long hair looked in this peculiar scenery, ginger colour fitting her green blouse perfectly.

You wondered how would it feel to run your fingers through them.

The house of mirrors was an excellent choice for the first attraction to attend to, and you were proud that it was your idea to try it out. It was not as extreme as some rides and you had an opportunity to hear Tauriel laugh out loud, which happened to be yet another of her many advantages—her voice so carefree and fresh like a spring morning. Or maybe, you were simply growing too poetical around her.

“The labyrinth was fun,” she stated once you were out of the hall. “But I have to admit I lost the tracks at some point.”

“And why didn’t you tell me so? I told you I can find a way out just fine.”

“I didn’t want to ruin the great first impression. Plus, I was supposed to be the guide, right?” She winked at you.

“Next time I’m going to be the guide. No getting lost and certainly no mirrors which make your face look like a smashed potato.”

Tauriel chuckled and agreed with your words.

“Certainly. But you have to admit, the one which made us really tall was interesting. I suppose I could get used to being that tall.”

“It would suit you well,” you nodded and felt the next sentence leave past your lips before you managed to stop it. “And your adorable pointy ears.”

Tauriel suddenly stood still and reached her ears with the hands, replying to you before the wave of embarrassment managed to drown you completely:

“Do you really think they’re pointy?” She touched the tips, her expression unreadable.

Vaguely gesturing, you tried to desperately think of an answer which would not discredit you in her eyes.

“I think they’re pretty. A little bit pointy, yes, but I always thought it gives you this mystical look. Like an elf or something...” With every next word, your tone was becoming quieter, until you finished your sentence with a forced smile, hoping that you managed to convince her that you meant no harm.

For a moment, she did not answer you, instead tilting her head to the side and then lightening up, before saying:

“Well then, thank you for the compliment. Still, I believe they’re not even partly as ravishing as your eyes, my dear.”

Contrary to the previous idea, the one Tauriel came up with appeared as more concerning in your opinion. It was not the matter of being scared per se, but rather the possibility of doing something reckless in front of her. You wanted her to like you, to think of you as no less interesting than all the boys she was surrounded with, and even though you knew that you cared about her opinion way more than you should, it was impossible to stop. Not now, when your repressed feelings were finally finding a way out. It could be the only one opportunity to impress her and you were certainly not going to waste it on anxiety.

Or so you thought.

“It’s a really, really bad idea,” you whispered after crossing yet another corridor in the haunted house. “I don’t like it at all, it’s way too quiet.”

“It can only mean one thing,” Tauriel pointed out matter-of-factly. “Soon we’ll witness something spooky.”

Holding your breath, you did your best to not let the heart jump out of your ribcage. You were as close to Tauriel as possible, naturally, keeping in mind to not cross the line of her personal space. As much as you wanted to hold her hand, you were not sure if she would approve it. The corridor, on the other hand, seemed to be endless, decorated in fake webs, some splattered blood and other remotely disturbing decorations, none of which jumped on you all of a sudden.

The booth with candies was much more entertaining but right now there was no coming back, nor time to complain.

Tauriel stopped abruptly and placed a finger to her lips, only then pointing at the closed door you reached to. There was no way it was going to be simply a part of decorations, you admitted bitterly, surely you were being watched and had to experience a pitiful attempt to frighten you based on primal, human instincts and yet—

You did not expect for the hairy monster to jump at you so suddenly but even less did you expect Tauriel to grab your hand, shield you with her body and pull you after herself further into the corridor. From the perspective of running, all the stuffed creatures were not as scary as they could be if you paid the whole attention to them and even if you did, Tauriel’s fingers closed on your wrist were enough to make you focus on something completely, completely different.

She was holding your hand, Tauriel was holding your cold, clammy hand as you both ran through the haunted house, avoiding the jump scares and traps and laughing so hard that your stomach started to hurt. Maybe it was the nerves which made you act so ridiculously or maybe in that moment you were ironically the happiest person on the whole planet, when nothing but you two mattered—you, your connected hands and the silly run through the corridor full of plastic figures and eerie sounds.

No kind of love tunnel could bring as much adoration from you as the haunted house on that windy, autumn afternoon.

When you finally managed to find a way out, you noticed how Tauriel’s cheeks were slightly redden from the effort and emotions but the smile on her face still lasted and the spark of joy present in her gaze as she looked at you.

“Are you alright?” she asked and let go of your hand, muttering. “Sorry for your sleeve.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Yeah, I’m fine. But I suppose I’ve had enough for one day.”

“And for the rest of my life, too,” she admitted and noticing your puzzled expression, quickly added. “I’m not really fond of those places, you know. But I can’t say this idea wasn’t successful.”

“What do you mean?”

“Playing your knight in shining armour against that bear-like-whatever was quite entertaining.”

This time you were more than sure that she winked at you, there was no mistake, her playful expression proved that well.

“Oh…” you were speechless. “Well then, I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because next time I’m going to use my marvellous skills with a bow and arrow to slay the dragon. But first, what would my princess say for a cup of mulled wine?”

You allowed her fingers to meet yours in a delicate grasp, when you slowly headed back to the food booths, all the anxiety leaving you as soon as you felt the cold air on your skin and Tauriel’s hand upon yours once again.

“She’d like that,” you nodded. “Very much so.”