#of when Malex finally begin

[meggiejolly]

I finally finished another scene for the Malex Red, White and Royal Blue AU! This scene is inspired by an amazing trip to Paris I took at the beginning of October. I meant to finish writing this right after, but writers block hit and it took me way longer than planned. I actually went to a wine and cheese tasting at the restaurant I mention in the story. The people who organised the tasting are called We Taste Paris, they have a website and an instagram, and they put together an amazing experience for our group. You can find all the posts about this AU here. The tag list is at the end, let me know if you want to be added or removed. Read it on AO3 here.

Alex got out of the conference in Germany and they plan to spend some time together in Paris outside of the fundraiser. Michael is honestly not sure if he would prefer to see Alex privately before or after the public event with all the cameras and press. It will be damn near impossible to keep his hands of Alex after not seeing him for weeks and after what happened at the Polo match, but the idea of going to a public event right after he and Alex had alone time and preferably shared multiple orgasms is terrifying. What if someone can tell? Obviously they know better than to leave any marks, but… it seems risky either way. 

In the end their schedules decided  for them because Alex is asked to do another royal engagement in Paris to make up for Germany and he will be arriving just in time for the fundraiser to start. 

Michael very pointedly doesn't watch the entrance for the entire half hour he's at the venue before Alex arrives. When he finally does, Michael pretends not to notice him right away and waits a couple of minutes before walking over as if by accident to greet Alex. He might deserve a fucking Oscar for this performance, if you ask him. 

Michael and Alex shake hands and then do a sort of bro hug that Michael hopes comes of as casual and not like he kind of just wants to burry his head in the crook of Alex' neck and stay there for a few hours. He can feel Alex softly tugging on one of his curls and hopes no camera caught that. 

After that it’s a few hours of typical public appearances stuff. Lots of cameras, lots of fake laughs, lots of people who pretend to be more important than they are and no chance for Michael and Alex to exchange more than a few glances and one or two small talk phrases in passing. 

A few hours later they were finally free of the obligations and head into the city. 

“You said you wanted French cheese. I found someone who was willing to organize a private wine and cheese tasting for us. Interested?” 

Michael laughs. “Seriously? Yeah, of course. I can’t believe you organized a private wine tasting. Isobel will be so jealous."

A pleased smile forms on Alex's lips that makes something in Michael buzz in a way that should make him nervous, but instead just makes him smile back. 

Alex pulls out his phone and opens the navigation app. "It's a little more than a ten minute walk, do you mind?"

"Not at all, it'll be nice to see the city not through the window of a car." 

Alex nods and glances at their PPOs to get their ok as well and then he leads the way into one of the smaller side streets of Paris. The PPOs hang back a bit and it all feels achingly normal, so normal that Michael almost reaches out to take Alex's hand. 

Which would be stupid for so many reasons. Number one being, that they are not like that. They don't hold hands. They antagonize each other over text and sometimes they get each other off. Well, and apparently today they take a walk through a warm Parisian evening to have wine and cheese. Definitely no handholding. 

They take a wrong turn somewhere so it takes them a little longer than ten minutes, but eventually Alex leads them into a little courtyard that is decorated with lots of frogs and they meet a guy named Andre who leads them into a private room of a little restaurant named Roger la Grenouille that has even more frogs inside. He explains that the restaurant is famous for its frog legs. 

Once Andre is gone to get them their first round of wine and cheese Michael nudges Alex. "I'm really glad you didn't bring me here for frog legs." 

Alex chuckles "They're not that bad. I'm not exactly a fan, but they are better than oysters or other mussels." 

"Good to know. I've had oysters at a fancy dinner once, I thought I had learned to eat almost everything, but I really struggled with finishing those." 

"Why do they always serve the strangest things at the fanciest dinners? Who is actually impressed by these things?" 

"I wish I knew. Give me good greasy diner food over fancy dinner menus any day." 

Alex nods in agreement and they are laughing together when Andre comes back with a bottle of wine and a waitress with a tray of cheese and a basket of bread behind him. 

Andre tells them where the wine and cheese comes from and while Michael appreciates it, he isn't really in the right headspace to retain the information right now. So he just nods along and is glad when Andre steps out of the room discreetly and leaves them alone. 

The wine is great and the cheese even better. Michael and Alex savor each new combination Andre brings in and Michael feels like he could sit there all night, watching Alex become more and more relaxed and open.

Eventually they have sampled all the wine and cheese that Andre prepared for them and they agree to a quick picture with Andre and his partner for their business instagram before heading out. Their PPOs have been served cheese and bread as well and even get to take a bottle of wine with them to enjoy once they are of duty. 

Michael feels warm and tipsy and happy and he can't wait to get his hands on Alex back at the hotel. He wonders if Alex feels the same when he asks his PPO to get them a car instead of suggesting they walk back. 

Sitting in the back seat next to Alex without being allowed to touch him feels torturous, especially when Alex's hands keeps moving closer to his and eventually their fingers touch. 

The anticipation grows and grows and they are finally at Michael's hotel, they make it up to the room and Michael sinks to his knees in front of Alex almost as soon as the door closes behind them. He wants to kiss him, but getting his mouth n Alex' dick feels less risky right now for some reason. He isn't going to think about what a kiss would be risking. Instead he works on improving his blow job skills. Judging by Alex' reaction, he might be getting better. Not that Alex had seemed disappointed the last time. 

They make it to bed at some point and there is kissing and orgasms and Michael is blissed out and still happily wine drunk. It feels dangerously close to perfect and just so fucking French that he forgets that they aren't supposed to spend the night. Casual frenemies with benefits don't spend the night. 

But that night they do and he's not sure if it's all the wine, or the orgasms, or the fact that he get's to sleep in Alex' arms with Alex' face buried in his curls, but he can't remember the last time he slept so well. 

He wakes up in the morning and Alex is still asleep. Michael can't help but lay next to him and just watching him. He wants to trace every scar and map them out, try to take their pain away, but he can't, he can just watch and ignore the nagging feeling that he shouldn't be doing this. 

Alex wakes up and they have decadent French room service breakfast and Alex sings along to French songs on the radio that Michael can't understand but that still sends shivers down his spine. 

When Alex has to go, he leaves a bottle of the wine from last night they both liked best and Michael isn't sure he'll ever be able to drink it. But he wraps it in multiple layers of clothes onto his suitcase and hopes it will survive the trip back to the sates. 

By the time he lands he has a text from Jenna with a link to an article about the fundraiser that has a whole paragraph about him and Alex and their friendship. Jenna added a caption: 'At least you didn't fuck this one up. Good job I guess.'

There is another text from Isobel, who somehow found the Instagram post about him and Alex at the wine tasting and wrote: 'You went to a Parisian wine tasting without me?!'

It's weird to see the evidence of their time together like that, through the eyes of his friends, family and the public who see them as nothing more than friends or even forced allies. He supposes it will stay like that, articles about their 'bromance' friendship while they occasionally find the time to get each other off. He knows it's ridiculous, this is purely physical and that's not changing, ever, but he kind of already misses Alex. 

@mimi-and-the-next-20th-century @thekiranzm28 @idealuk@angrycowboy @granfalloontje @dabb444 @dr-lizortecho

[malexsanta]

Dear everyone,

The Malex Secret Santa 2022 exchange is wrapped. All gifts have been posted, and once again, our participants have created so many beautiful Malex presents!

15 Malex fics

2 pieces of Malex fanart

2 Malex gif set

1 Malex Mood Board

1 Malex playlist

We’d like to thank all our wonderful participants for taking part in the final edition of this exchange. We are so grateful to all of you for putting so much love and effort into creating gifts for your recipients.

Thank you for making December cosmic one more time! ✨

We’d also like to thank all our followers and readers for reblogging, liking, commenting, reccing, and leaving kudos. ❤️

✨💚👽💚✨👽💚✨

All fics can be found on AO3, please check out the

12 Days Of Malex 2022 Collection

And here’s the list of all gifts with links to Tumblr and AO3.

🎄Day 1

Fanart The Guerins enjoying a nice Christmas Eve by @slynella for @infallible-dreamers • Tumblr

🎄Day 2

Fic Traditions: Yours, Mine, and Ours @theatrehands for @secret-guilty-pleasure • Tumblr

🎄Day 3

Fic Just cut me down the middle and count my rings by @jule1122 for @winged-fool • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 4

Fic we're made up of a thousand scars by @bloggingbisexually for @dankmalexmemes • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 5

Fic in all the world, it's you I choose by @andrea-lyn for @pendragonsandbuckleys • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 6

Fanart The Crashdown double date by @momecat for @slynella • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 7

Gif set Sunshine and Roses by @pendragonsandbuckleys for @changingthingslikeleaves • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 8

Playlist Malex Secret Santa by @alixoxox for @angrycowboy • Tumblr | Spotify

🎄Day 9

Fic When Christmas Comes to Town by @alex-guerin for @moderngenius94 • Tumblr | AO3

Fic Where’s My Love? by @mander3-swish for @jule1122 • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 10

Fic You're the winter sun by @infallible-dreamers for @alixoxox • Tumblr | AO3

Fic Weekend Lover by @winged-fool for @mander3-swish • Tumblr | AO3

🎄Day 11

Fic i still like the way your name sounds by @bekkachaos for @momecat • Tumblr | AO3

Gif set Looking There, Loving Here by @angrycowboy for @theatrehands • Tumblr

🎄Day 12

Fic nothing starts without you (we become the stories we’ve always wanted) by @manesalex for @alex-guerin • Tumblr 1/2/3 | AO3

Fic the honeymooners by @moderngenius94 for @bekkachaos • Tumblr | AO3

Fic A New Beginning For Christmas by @secret-guilty-pleasure for @bloodspeckledraphael • Tumblr | AO3

Fic With Love Overflowing by @changingthingslikeleaves for @andrea-lyn • Tumblr | AO3

Fic boys will fall by by @dankmalexmemes for @manesalex • Tumblr | AO3

Mood Board boys will fall by @dankmalexmemes for @manesalex • Tumblr

Fic The Answer is Always "Okay." by @burntotears for @bloggingbisexually • Tumblr | AO3

[pastelwitchling]

If you’re still taking prompts can I please request anything involving Malex and Sanders..? Because Sanders is just the best and he’s so happy that Michael is happy! I feel like he and Alex would get along really well and team up to give Michael grief hahahaha this is a very vague prompt but there’s that Sanders gif set going around and it’s giving me all the feels 💛💛💛

***

When Alex got a knock at his door, he hadn’t expected to find none other than Sanders on the other side. He stilled, hand falling slowly off the doorknob. He didn’t know why he was shocked to see Sanders, but he thought he understood his own anxiety about being alone with the old man. This was, after all, as close to Michael’s father as anybody had ever been.

“Er, hello, sir,” Alex said at once.

Sanders raised a white brow and scoffed. “‘Sir.’ Boy, you really are military.”

“Ex,” Alex confirmed and stepped back. “Please, come in.”

“No, no, I, uh,” Sanders looked down at himself. “I just got back from the junkyard, I’m—I’m covered in grease—”

“Please,” Alex insisted, and his lips quirked into half a smile. “Unless you’ve forgotten, my husband’s a mechanic.”

Sanders looked down, away, and Alex understood how he could be uncomfortable. He himself didn’t really know how to react to a family member that wasn’t actively trying to kill him.

“Yeah, well,” Sanders cleared his throat, accepted Alex’s offer with a nod, and walked in past him. “I just realized I never gave you a wedding present,” he said when they got to the living room, and offered Alex the gift-wrapped box he’d been holding. “I know it ain’t much, but I think you could get some real use out of that.”

“Wow, thanks,” Alex said, albeit awkward himself. “You really didn’t have to.”

Sanders waved off his gratitude and gestured at the gift. “Go head, open it.”

So Alex did. It looked like a vase. With gears.

“Uh,” Sanders started, “it—it’s a—”

“Self-gardening mechanism,” Alex smiled. “Thank you, sir. I don’t have the green thumb Michael does, now I finally have a way to save the flowers he gets me.”

Sanders blinked, startled, and smirked. “You know your stuff, huh?”

“Michael loves everything to do with plants,” he shrugged. “I’m a quick study.”

He stared. “You really love ‘im, don’t you?”

“Always have,” Alex said. He looked down at his new gift, clearly made with a lot of care and detail. “I . . . I think I know why you’re really here too.” At Sanders’s confused look, Alex smiled sadly. “I know you probably don’t love the way I treated Michael at the beginning of our relationship. I . . . put him through a lot—”

“And he put you through a lot,” Sanders said, frowning. “Son, I ain’t heartless. I love that boy, and for the most part he’s a genius, but he can be a real dumbass when it comes to what means most to him. Which is why he talks back to me,” he said with a fatherly edge, then softened, “and hurts you so much.”

Alex started to shake his head. “H-He doesn’t—”

“Don’t you start now,” he heaved a sigh. “Where is the dumbass anyway?”

Alex couldn’t help but smile. Maybe it was because he knew Sanders meant it with an exasperated fondness. Maybe because Sanders was giving him permission to be angry and sad with the man he loved. Or maybe it was because no one had ever stood up for him and for it to come from Michael’s father felt like a kind pat on the head.

It’s okay to be upset, I’m giving you permission to be upset, he seemed to be saying.

“He’s getting some work done with Max and Isobel,” Alex said. “Something about Max’s work in Oasis.”

Sanders scowled. “And you’re not in on it?”

Alex fidgeted. “I, uh, overdid myself a bit at Deep Sky. I’m on Guerin’s version of a recommended house arrest. He’ll fill me in when he gets back.”

“Ah,” he nodded, “so you nearly worked yourself into a grave again, and Michael freaked out and forced you to rest, huh?”

“You’re pretty good at picking up on our dynamic, I see,” Alex tried for an amused smile, and went to set the vase on the kitchen counter.

Sanders said nothing as Alex busied himself with placing the sunflowers Michael had brought him just yesterday inside the new contraption. He watched as the gears turned and water filtered through from somewhere inside the vase. He smiled to himself. He’d seen every evil machine there was to see, he’d seen alien magic put to dark use. There was something refreshing about watching the workings of such a simple and good invention.

“You don’t owe anyone an apology, son,” Sanders said suddenly. His voice was softer than Alex knew it capable of being. “You ain’t your father and Michael knows that.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Despite what the beginning of your relationship looked like. He loves you, and he don’t need you to hurt yourself to prove you love him back.”

Alex kept his eyes on the sunflowers for a moment longer, then he looked to the vase. Then he smiled over his shoulder at Sanders. “He’s really lucky to have you, Walt.”

Sanders blinked, then looked away. He cleared his throat again. “Yeah, well. Mm.”

With a pat to Alex’s shoulder, Sanders turned to leave. Alex didn’t move away from the kitchen counter even as he promised Sanders that they’d come over tomorrow night for dinner. He didn’t move even as he watched Sanders head out. If he had, if he’d been proud enough of himself or believed enough of what Sanders had told him to see him out, he might’ve seen Sanders pull out his phone. He might’ve seen him text Michael with a smirk at his lips. He might’ve realized how honest Sanders had been with him.

But he hadn’t. Instead, he stood there, only able to hope that he meant as much to Michael as Sanders made him out to. In that same moment, Michael checked a text he’d just gotten from his father.

You’re luckier than you know, kid.

And then maybe it wouldn’t have surprised Alex at all that Michael had smiled at the words, knowing exactly what Sanders meant.

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤

[jule1122]

Malex Fic - Just cut me down the middle and count my rings

This is my Malex Secret Santa gift for @winged-fool who asked for Dark Malex.  I hope you enjoy my take on just how far Alex will go for love.  Happy Holidays.

Fic is canon divergent from 3x11 and features descriptions of murder (including a different death for Jones) and also sex. 

I was lucky enough to have a wonderful beta in @burntotears.

Title is from Keepin’ It Real by Barenaked Ladies.

Just cut me down the middle and count my rings on AO3

Summary:    “I’ve killed for you, Michael, more than once.  And I’ll do it again without hesitation.  As long as you come back to me, I don’t care who you kill to get here.”

Alex reveals this simply, easily, like it’s something Michael already knows, like it’s part of who they are.  It’s not a confession, but it should be, and all Michael can do is stand there and stare at Alex with his mouth open.

NOW

“So that’s the plan,” Michael zooms in on the map on the tablet, their staging positions and approach marked in red.  “What do you think?”

“I think,” Alex replies with a frown, “the plan would be better if I was a part of it.”

“Alex,” Michael starts to protest with a sigh; they’ve been over this.

“I know,” Alex interrupts.  “Aliens only.  I understand, but I don’t like it.  But other than that, you need to change your approach.  Come from this direction instead.”  Alex points to the opposite side of the map from where Michael had marked.

Michael hands him a stylus and watches as Alex makes the adjustments he wants.  “I’ll let Max and Isobel know.” He forwards them the updated map.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” Alex takes Michael’s hands and squeezes them gently.  “Jones underestimates you−all of you−but especially you, Michael.  Use that to your advantage.”

“Yeah,”  Michael nods, but his head is already spinning, thinking ahead to all the things that can go wrong, or right, depending on how you look at it.

“Hey,” Alex drops one of Michael’s hands to cup his face.  “You’re coming home to me when this is all over.  We defeated one evil father; we can do it again.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Michael admits.  Alex frowns, but doesn’t say anything so he tries to explain.  “We’re starting something good here, finally after all these years, but it’s just the beginning.  I don’t want to lose it before we get to see what it becomes, before we even get to have our first date.  I’m afraid beating Jones will end us before we get more than this, before I really get to love you like I want to.”

Alex’s frown deepens. “Why would it? I love you, Michael.  Nothing is going to change that.”

“Jones fights dirty. Max can’t; he’ll probably challenge Jones to an honorable duel and be shocked when Jones double-crosses him.  Dallas is a preacher, and Isobel is just learning to fight.  If we get backed into a corner, I’ll have to be the one to take him out,”  Michael explains.  “How are you going to look at me if I have to kill my own father?  Will you still love me then?”

“Of course I will,” Alex steps closer to Michael, still gripping one of his hands and stroking Michael’s cheek with his thumb,  “I’ve killed for you, Michael, more than once.  And I’ll do it again without hesitation.  As long as you come back to me, I don’t care who you kill to get here.”

Alex reveals this simply, easily, like it’s something Michael already knows, like it’s part of who they are.  It’s not a confession, but it should be, and all Michael can do is stand there and stare at Alex with his mouth open.

THEN

Greg stays as long as he can, but after the funeral he has to go back to the reservation, to his work and his life.  So in the end, with Flint still in the hospital and Clay absent as always, Alex is left handling the aftermath of Jesse’s death.  He throws out the uneaten casseroles, deals with the lawyer, puts the house on the market and tries to move on.  Condolence cards keep coming, but he tosses them in a pile, unread, not interested in sympathy for a man who should have been killed years ago.  

After a few weeks, Alex decides to just throw them out−fuck etiquette.  But he notices one of the envelopes is sealed with a symbol he’s only seen in Project Shepherd files.  He goes through the pile and finds another eight marked with the same symbol.  All the cards are similar − condolences on Jesse’s death and an invitation to discuss the future of Project Shepherd.  It’s not worded quite so obviously, but Alex knows how to read between the lines and recognizes the email addresses left as contacts as being part of the restricted server his father used.  

He’s sure the cards are meant for Flint, but Flint is out of commission and Alex recognizes an opportunity when he sees one. He takes a few days to consider his options then sets up his own email address that looks like it comes from inside Project Shepherd, but it is more secure and completely untraceable.  Alex sends the same email to all nine contacts:

Thank you for your condolences during this difficult time.  The loss of our leader is disheartening, but our work is too important to abandon.  With the advanced threats against us, modernization is our only hope.  We should meet soon so all physical and digital files you possess can be turned over for security purposes.  Centralization of data is imperative for your safety and the future of this project.  If there is anyone else I should contact regarding our path forward, please include their contact information in your reply.

The responses are swift and tellingly similar.  Everyone seems eager to hand their part in Project Shepherd over, and they universally state that while they know others are involved, their only contact has been with members of the Manes family.  Alex breathes a sigh of relief knowing he can take his time, both developing his plan and carrying it out.  His contacts’ ignorance of each other means word of what he is doing won’t reach any of them before he does.  

Within two days, Alex has the name and address of every one of his anonymous contacts.  He researches them while simultaneously setting up a series of untraceable emails and offshore bank accounts as well as purchasing several burner phones. After determining the most convoluted route between his destinations, he arranges for a series of cars with fake license plates he can pick up and drop off at off the grid locations.  Hotel rooms with outdoor entrances conveniently outside surveillance range are secured.  Everything is prepaid and able to be accessed electronically so he never has to interact with anyone who might have been able to identify him. 

Based on his research, he arranges for the supplies he anticipates using, along with a few backup options, to be delivered to an anonymous drop off point near each destination.  Two weeks after discovering Project Shepherd was less of a family business than he’d been led to believe, Alex boards a bus out of Roswell.  He calls Greg to let him know he’ll be out of touch while taking care of the last of Jesse’s affairs.  Once he’s out of Roswell, he sends a message to the alien group chat before turning off his phone.  “Permanently shutting down Project Shepherd.  Will be out of town and unreachable until it’s done.” It’s the last message he sends for almost a year.

Alex’s first stop is in Texas.  Hal Stevenson is cold and brusque.  They meet in a diner during the lunch rush so no one has time to give them more than a passing glance.  He hands Alex a small stack of files and tells him to let him know when the “scourge” has finally been wiped out.  They part ways with nothing more than a nod, and Stevenson leaves completely unaware of the undetectable drug he ingested designed to induce a fatal heart attack within twelve hours.

Back in his hotel room, Alex monitors local dispatch radio traffic while tying up any loose ends.  He was careful not to leave any fingerprints behind, and his hat and sunglasses would make it difficult for anyone at the diner to identify him.  The diner itself doesn’t have any security cameras, but Alex confirms all security cameras in the immediate area are playing a loop that began three days before the meeting and will continue for another three days after.  An older man dying of a heart attack shouldn’t warrant an investigation, but Alex can’t take any chances.

Eight hours later, an ambulance is called to Stevenson’s residence.  He listens long enough to hear confirmation that the victim was unable to be resuscitated before packing up his room.  Alex heads to Michigan, changing cars and picking up supplies three times along the way.

With his first successful mission behind him, Alex develops a routine.  He arrives a few days before the scheduled meeting to conduct surveillance on both his contact and the meeting place.  Public security cameras are put on a one week loop, and if the meeting will be a residence, home security systems are even easier to hack.  Alex just redirects the cameras enough to make sure he won’t be captured on film.  While he waits for confirmation of death or discovery of the body depending on his method, he reviews the information he gathers from each victim.  Any medical files are sent to Kyle from one of his secure email addresses with multiple encryptions on the attachments.  Anything nonmedical, he flags for further review so he can do a thorough analysis once he has all the files.  Once this is all over, and he knows the full scope of Project Shepherd, he can share the information with everyone else.

By the time he returns to Roswell, he leaves two more heart attacks and a stroke in his wake.  Delayed medical deaths through undetectable drugs are the easiest and cleanest methods of killing, but sometimes a more personal touch is needed.

Anthony Warrick is an idiot.  Despite his well known, deadly bee allergy, he sets up his meeting with Alex in a deserted area of a nature preserve.  The day before their meeting, Alex swaps his EpiPen with a defective one.  Then he sits on a bench and nods along while Warrick rambles about the merits of extermination.  He never notices Alex carefully disrupting the ground in front of him just enough to cause him to stumble when he stands up to leave.

Alex catches his arm to steady him, using a needle too small for him to feel to inject him with bee venom.  The venom is encapsulated in a benign substance engineered to dissolve in approximately two minutes.  That gives Alex enough time to depart and watch from a discreet distance as the venom takes effect and Warrick tries to use the defective EpiPen.  He doesn’t even have time to call for help, not that there is anyone to hear him thanks to the secluded location he chose.  

Warrick provided Alex with a crate full of files he spends two days reading through before leaving for his next destination.  Marcus Hodge is a pompous ass.  Alex meets him at his house where he promptly insists Alex follow him to the pool.  He hands Alex a drink he didn’t ask for and has no intention of drinking while he struts around the pool chomping on a cigar.  Hodge wants to know what Alex’s plans are in regards to studying alien powers.

“We need to find a way to weaponize them,” he proposes.  “Take advantage of their powers and finally make our own super soldiers.”

Alex rolls his eyes as he knocks him unconscious.  He takes his time studying the pool area, deciding he might as well have that drink after all, dumping the drink Warrick poured for him and replacing it with something more to his taste.  Eventually he determines the best place to stage an accident.  He slams Warrick’s head against the pool deck and rolls his body, cigar and all, into the water.  Alex watches him sink and then drown before departing, glass in hand to be sanitized and disposed of at his next location.

After Warrick, Alex decides to take a few months off.  He meets up with Forrest in Nebraska and then again in Connecticut.  In between he finds three abandoned Project Shepherd locations and clears them out. He takes another two months to go through all the information he collects, although he never stays in the same location for more than a week.  Kyle receives several more emails with medical information and Alex can’t help but wonder how frustrated he is by his inability to reply to the emails.  He’s sure Kyle has questions−he knows they all do−but Alex needs to stay focused on the mission and not what is happening in Roswell.

He regrets the break once he arrives in Maryland and meets with Chester Mayfield.  Alex makes his first and only mistake, and he blames it on the time he took to focus on gathering information rather than eliminating threats.  

Mayfield isn’t old enough to have been around at the start of Project Shepherd, but he’s quite a bit older than Jesse. He’s not content to hand over his files to Alex, instead insisting on reviewing them in his study, reminiscing about his role as a supervisor of the team carrying out experiments. Despite everything he’s seen so far, Alex finds his pictures particularly nauseating, and he’s already on edge by the time Mayfield starts asking about Alex’s plans for a new facility.

“Your grandfather kept a special room, you can see it here,” he points to a series of photographs Alex plans to burn as soon as possible.  There’s nothing to be gained from studying them, and he can only be grateful Nora doesn’t appear in any of them.  

“Jesse shut down, said it was beneath us to be consorting with their kind, but I just think he didn’t have the stomach for it,” he laughs like it’s a joke.  “You, on the other hand, look like a Manes after your grandfather’s heart.  You capture any females, give me a call and I’ll come and test them out.  Hell, if I get the right drugs from the doc, I’ll take your males for a ride, too.”

Alex snaps his neck without even thinking about it.  He lets go, takes in Mayfield’s still open eyes and wishes he’d taken the time to make him suffer.  Still, this is one of the few scenarios Alex didn’t plan for.  He doesn’t allow himself to panic, just gathers up all of Mayfield’s files and wipes down the study.

Research settles Alex’s nerves, and it doesn’t take long on the dark web to determine exactly what injuries he needs to inflict to make it look like Mayfield was still alive when he fell down the stairs.  Alex knocks his head and hip against a series of steps and scrapes the nails of his right hand down the banister.  He takes particular satisfaction in breaking his wrist−the crunch of bones still satisfying even though Mayfield can’t feel it.

He waits four days for someone to discover the body.  He’s glad there was no one in Mayfield’s life to miss him, hopes he was lonely.  Alex leaves Maryland with files he’ll never share, a bag of ash to dispose of later and no regrets.

Alex isn’t without compassion.  When Allen Lude looks at him with tired eyes and asks if the aliens Alex is hunting have hurt anyone, Alex shakes his head.

“Then can’t we just let it go?”  Allen asks.  “Do they need to suffer just for existing?”

Alex’s smile is genuine for the first time since he left Roswell.  He slips a drug into Allen’s drink that will erase his memories of the last two days and thanks him for his time and the records he turned over to Alex.  When he gets back to his hotel, Alex sends him a backdated email that will appear in his inbox marked as read along with a confirmation of delivery from a courier service.  Alex confirms he received the files and tells him since they both agree Project Shepherd has outlived its usefulness there is no reason for them to meet in person.

Victoria Reyes reminds Alex of his father.  She has the same fanatical superiority complex, the same drive to prove that a lack of humanity makes aliens monsters.  Like Jesse, she also chafes at the continued secrecy.  She demands Alex expose aliens for the danger they pose.

“There must be a public reckoning,” Reyes insists.  “Find them all, their descendants, their descendants’ descendants and eliminate them without compassion.  Anyone with a drop of alien blood must be purged without exception.  Then make sure the world understands what horrors we saved them from through our decades of hard work and sacrifice.”

Alex knows she had a family once before her cruelty and alcoholism drove them away.  She downs three drinks in the ten minutes he spends with her, making subduing her easy. Alex arranges Reyes’ body on the couch, half-filled glass and phone within arm’s reach.  An injection increases her blood alcohol content to a level that would leave her unconscious for hours.  He opens a few windows in the house which causes a curtain to blow into a candle, starting a fire.  The control he has over her security system allows him to prevent the fire alarm from triggering until he can be sure smoke inhalation will kill her before the fire can be put out. 

He drives off with her two dogs before allowing the fire department to be alerted.  By the time the fire is extinguished, he’s deactivated their microchips.  As tempted as he is to keep them, Alex knows it’s not worth the risk−no matter how small−so he drops them off at a no-kill shelter five states away.  Mission finally complete, almost eleven months after he left, Alex criss-crosses the country again, taking three weeks to make it back to Roswell, Michael’s safety assured.

NOW

Michael stares at Alex, trying to process what he said.  Alex has killed for him.  He can’t mean the Air Force so what is he referring to?

“When?” he finally croaks out.

Alex looks confused, dropping Michael’s hand and taking a few steps back.  “What did you think I meant when I said I spent the last year cleaning up my father’s mess?”

“The files you sent Kyle, the information you went over with all of us, the spreadsheets,” Michael throws his hands in the air. Alex had been very thorough when reviewing all the information he found; Michael never imagined there could be more to it than that.

“That was part of it, but not the most important part.  There were still people out there who knew about Project Shepherd that were threats to you, to your family.  I couldn’t leave them out there.”

“How many?” Michael asks.

“Eight.”  Alex stands up straighter, hands clasped behind his back, and meets Michael’s eyes.  Michael knows that posture, knows Alex is bracing himself for a blow.  “Does that change anything for you?” Alex asks.

Michael doesn’t answer right away.  He knows if he answers too quickly, Alex won’t believe him, so he lets what Alex told him sink in.  Alex spent a year hunting down people who threatened Michael, killing them before he could be hurt.  Maybe that discovery shouldn’t fill him with warmth, but it does.  No one has ever made his safety and future a priority.  No one but Alex.

“I love you.”  It comes out raw. It’s not enough, but he doesn’t know what else to say.  “I love you so fucking much.”  Michael pushes Alex up against the wall and kisses him.  He bites at Alex’s lip, the kiss hard and bruising.

“Deep Sky?” Michael asks when they pull apart, suddenly remembering what Alex said about joining Deep Sky to protect him.

Alex shakes his head.  “There’s no threat to you at Deep Sky.  I made sure of it.  If one develops, I will take care of it.”  It’s a vow and a promise. Alex cradles Michael’s face in his hands and presses their foreheads together.  “No one will hunt you again.  You will never be captured, never be an experiment.  Not as long as I live.”

“Alex,” Michael breathes, stunned by the conviction in Alex’s voice.  Michael knows he doesn’t deserve the naked devotion in Alex’s eyes, but now that he has it, he’ll never be able to live without it.  It fills the holes in his soul he swore were permanent, heals them in ways he never dreamed possible.  He drops to his knees, the only way he knows to show Alex what his protection means to him.

He undoes Alex’s pants, pulling them along with his underwear down past his knees.  Alex isn’t hard, but Michael takes him into his mouth, holding him on his tongue, sucking gently.  He strokes Alex’s thighs before cupping his balls and squeezing lightly.

Alex starts to harden in his mouth.  Michael takes a deep breath and tilts his head up so he can see Alex’s face.  He taps Alex’s hip to get his attention, to make him watch as Michael’s mouth stretches around his cock.  Michael brings Alex’s hand to his face, guiding his fingers to trace over his lips so Alex can feel how wet they are against the heat of his cock, can feel how they tighten when Michael swallows.

When Alex grips his hair and starts to fuck into Michael’s mouth, he wants to close his eyes and lose himself in the feeling of being filled, of breathing around Alex’s cock.  But he forces his eyes to remain open so Alex can see the tears in them as he takes Alex as deep as he can, so Alex can see his own devotion reflected in Michael’s eyes.

Alex’s hand tightens in his hair and his thrusts become quicker and more erratic, letting Michael know he’s close.  Michael fumbles with his pants and barely gets his own cock out before Alex comes down his throat.  Michael comes with a high pitched whine as he swallows the last of Alex’s release.

Michael stands on unsteady legs, buttoning his own pants before gently tucking Alex back into his underwear and refastening his pants.  Alex pulls him in for a kiss, greedily licking his come from Michael’s mouth.

[alienidentities-f22a]

RNM Final Thoughts

Overall I enjoyed the show Roswell New Mexico. I have never had the opportunity to analyze anything other than a novel on its own before so it was really interesting to have our semester “book” be a TV show. I liked the representation in the show in terms of aspects like ethnicity, gender, and sexuality. Malex forever, Michael and Alex were so cute and I am so happy they ended up getting married

That being said, the show was far from perfect. I think the first season or first two seasons were much stronger than the third and fourth seasons. The mysteries were interesting in the beginning but at one point around the end of the second season I began to question “how many mysteries and secrets does this town hold? I mean, come on”. It was a bit odd to think that all of these clues were put in the perfect places to find but nobody ever investigated them. Like the portal in the middle of the desert, the bank boxes, all these random repressed memories, or Jones. 

 In the finale when Alex is essentially getting Chernobyled, he is magically fixed when they leave. This removes the stakes of the situation and ruins the experience of worry and concern that Michael and the others would have had for Alex dying. I think this was a missed opportunity to show just how much everyone cares about Alex, despite him being a Manes, and giving closure by coming full circle from Project Shepard to the finale.

[female-overlord-3]

Bring Them Home Ch 3

All of my heart one last time <- ao3 link

Prev - Next

Kyle and Alex all but collapse once they make their way inside the cabin and to the couch. Michael hesitantly follows and looks around, finally seeing where Alex has been staying since his return.

“Mi-Gueirn could you get me my laptop? In the kitchen, second shelf next to the fridge underneath a wooden panel in the left wall.”

Michael does as he asks, laptop in hand and out of the kitchen until he pauses at the hallway to Alex’s room, a familiar feeling tugging at him like a sirens call he can’t resist.

Alex watches with exhaustion clouding his mind,  only realizing once Michael disappears from view what he might find in there.

“Shit.” He curses and scrambles to get to his room, limping slightly as his overexertion from earlier has finally caught up.

Leaning heavily against the door frame Alex watches as Michael reaches towards his pillow, standing with his back to Alex and fingers brushing the fabric pillow case but pause when Alex pleading voice rings through the air. “Michael wait.”

He does but doesn’t look away from the pillow or what he knows is underneath it.

“Let me- I need to sit and I’ll explain but just- please wait.” Alex continues to plead, the desperation and exhaustion nearly drowning the words.

Michael closes his eyes shut before taking a deep breath and moving his hand away. He waits for Alex to settle at the foot of the bed and watches the process of him removing his prosthetic, letting his mind get distracted by the mechanics and how he’d improve it, make it better and easier to use. Then he removes his other shoe and shrugs off his jacket.

Alex does his best to ignore Michael’s eyes but glad the focus is on him instead of the piece of alien ship hidden under his pillow.

“You can sit.” He offers as he lets himself fall back and relax on his bed. “Get comfortable. Splurged and got memory foam.”

Remaining silent Michael does as Alex says. He passes the laptop over, nearly forgetting he had it, and shucks off his boots and denim jacket before sitting.

“How long.” Michael finally asks when Alex stays quiet.

“Before you showed me what it really was. Before I knew everything.” Alex places his laptop in the nook he added then lays back to stares up at the ceiling, letting the words finally tumble free, whether from exhaustion or his need to finally say what he wants, he’s not sure, it could be both.

“I found it here in the cabin in Jim Valenti’s own secret underground bunker, hidden in a wall in a room where he helped Rosa get clean and Kyle and I discovered that he was not having an affair with her but was actually her father. I found it and was going to give it to you when I found out you were an alien but then you showed me the other pieces and you talked about leaving. I panicked.”

It’s both freeing to get all of this said out loud but the guilt and fear continue to press at his chest like a growing weight. “When we had that night where you said you don’t look away, I was absolutely terrified you might actually leave when you joked about moving. That didn’t hold a candle to the realization that you might leave the freaking planet, find a way I wouldn’t be able to follow. It nearly gutted me so I decided to keep it until I felt ready to give it to you.”

Sighing Alex closes his eyes and says a painful admission. “I just don’t think I’d ever be ready to give it to you.”

He hears the choked sound Michael makes but keeps his eyes closed. Might as well say everything he can since he has the chance.

“I know it’s selfish and cruel because I’ve walked away so many times but I’ve always come back Michael, I always had you to come back to in this shit town. Sure there’s Liz and Maria but I don’t miss them the way I miss you. The longer I didn’t see you the more I worried you’d finally leave this place and make something better for yourself, that i’d come back and you’d be gone but if you stayed on earth I could still find you and maybe we could be something too. No military. No small minded asshole small town hive minds. Just us, somewhere different where we could just be.”

Alex feels hopeful even though the small simple dream he’s kept at the back of his head hurts to voice. He’s said what he wants, what he wants with Michael. It’s one of the only things he truly wants besides keeping Michael safe.

“If you still want to leave i’d understand. You can take the piece of your ship and go where you need to. I’ve had it long enough.” He clenches his mouth shut before ‘I’ve had you long enough’ can slip out. Alex has said too much already and of course he wants to keep fighting, for Michael and them and what’s right, but Michael’s so close and is the only person Alex can be weak with. He’s tired, utterly exhausted and drained. He can be Captain Manes after he gets at least an hour nap. Alex can make a plan and do what he needs, now that he’s said what he could since he doesn’t have any other idea of what he should be doing.

Protect Michael. Let Michael leave because it would be safer. Save his people. Save his mom. Protect them from his dad. The list continues until it starts to cycle back to the start like a never ending loop making his mind go a bit numb. It’s that and sleep. He should sleep.

A loud pop jolts Alex alert and awake until he sees the shower of feathers swirling around him, none actually falling onto him or Michael, the fluffy down all settling down onto floor. Then there are hands pulling him up to face Michael, Michael who looks as devastated as he did back at Caulfield. It takes a second before Alex realizes he’s being shaken.

“You said we were done Alex. You stayed away for nearly 2 months while Liz and I were trying to find a cure for my sister and when I try and talk to you, you say it’s over. Then I show you something I’ve never shown anyone else before and you say you need time to think but now you’re telling me it made you panic because you thought I’d leave?” Michael’s voice steadily grew in volume until he’s yelling the next part.

“You left. You said you wanted us to be friends then didn’t talk to me after. I get you needed time but Alex, all I saw was you leaving me again, that the whole alien thing became too much and you finally decided you didn’t want me.”

Alex hears the faint sounds of things rattling around him but he’s too focused on Michael’s every word.

“I would never leave Isobel or Max but in all honesty I wouldn’t leave you either. The idea of rebuilding that ship and having the option to leave was the only thing that kept me sane while having to stay here. I had to stay in the same place as you father who would always find some way to remind me about what I lost. Where we thought Isobel killed Rosa and those girls and I had to lie and live with guilt. In a town who only knows me for being the town drunk and who sleeps around. In the place I had to stay to protect my sister who thought I was the killer for the last decade and believed it.”

His voice is going quiet now as everything just spills from Michael’s mouth, his hands holding onto Alex’s shoulder his only support.

“I stayed because I knew you might come back and if I could see you again, know you didn’t die in some desert that wasn’t this one, that your excuse of a father didn’t finally get you killed. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted and who made me feel like I might have a place on this horrible rotten planet.”

Michael stares into Alex’s eyes, hazel burning into brown with the shift of every emotion that flashes through them and he keeps going like he can’t get it out fast enough.

“But then we found others! Alex I thought we were the only ones that survived the crash. I found my mom and she loves me.” He’s sobbing now at the realization finally sinking in. “My whole life I’ve been hoping, waiting as I stare up at the sky for someone to come bring me back because no one really wants me here. Iz and Max have lives here. They got to grow up loved and with good people that I’m forever grateful for but I didn’t and sometimes it hurts. You were the one who made me realize there was a different kind of love Alex, one that could be just mine and I think if your dad wasn’t such a piece of shit and the world could just learn to love, if we had our chance to just be… we’d finally know what cosmic really means.”

“Michael.” All Alex can do is say his name as his brain tries to figure out what to say while also finding some way to provide comfort, arms already moving to pull Michael in and hold him like he did during the drive here but Michael just shakes his head with  a pained laugh.

“God and you keep saying my name like that. I don’t even remember the last time you said my actual name to me but you keep saying it like it means so much more and I don’t understand. You want me? As a friend? More? Not at all? Why can’t we just love each other like we wanted to before everything fell apart? Why is it so hard when loving you is so easy! Do you need me to say it because I will Alex, if saying those words will make you stay I’ll never stop because it’s all I want to say when I look at you or even think about you. Do you think I don’t? Just tell me what I have to do because I’m so tired of not knowing.”

He pleads.

Alex wishes he knew the answer because it would make all of this so much easier but Michael’s not the only one tired of not knowing.

“I want to say its because I’ve been trying to protect you this whole time and staying away meant my father did too but that turned out to be a fucking lie.”

That reminder sparks anger that Alex doesn’t try to smother, that he instead uses to get the words he wants to out.

“No it’s because I’m broken and a mess who still can’t fight the hold his abusive father has on him. I don’t know either Michael and it’s ripping me apart. I want you, never stopped wanting you this whole time but I’ve never gotten to get what I want. Maybe with my dad gone and all this extra stuff that always gets in the way, we could finally get what we want but that’s not how life works.”

He lets his head fall and his forehead lands against Michael’s shoulder. He’s too tired to hold it up nor has the strength to say this to Michael’s face.

“I know you love me, it’s almost like something I can feel! But I’m not good with words Michael or feelings. This is the most I’ve spoken about everything I feel since we last talked. I don’t talk. I save it for later because there’s so much I need to do and I’ve always had to do it. You’re the only one I’ve ever been able to be weak with but even then I still have to fight for it.”

Alex pulls away and it’s almost chilling to lose Michael’s heat but he really needs to lay down and thankfully Michael follows. They lay next to each other and stare at the ceiling while Alex continues.

“I think sometimes it scares me how much we love each other. Every time you give me your heart I’m terrified okay. That I’m going to ruin it. That I won’t be able to handle all that love. That I’m just desperate to feel loved and you’ll change your mind once you see how ruined I already am.”

“If you’re ruined well so am I.”

Alex doesn’t know if Michael’s trying to comfort him or remind him.

“Because of me.” He chokes out and closes his eyes as he sees that horrible moment over and over.

“Fuck we need therapy. Not because of you Alex. How could you- wait of course you would. I guess this is what happens when we only talk about it once huh?”

Michael shifts and hovers over Alex so that he’s nearly straddling him but there’s just enough space so they’re not touching. Alex keeps his eyes closed.

“I’m going to remind you that what happened that day was not your fault. Alex that was probably the happiest and best day of my life that just happened to end so horribly. I got to finally touch you after wanting to for so long.”

Alex stays quiet but Michael can see how tense he his, meaning he isn’t asleep.

“Alex. Did you pick up that hammer and smash my hand?”

Alex’s eyes snap open at that.

“No but it’s because of-”

“Jesse Manes. It’s because of him. He did this to me and he sent you away. He can try and blame you for it all he likes but I know it’s his fault and his hate that did it.”

The stubborn glare Alex is giving him would be hilarious if the tears Michael sees didn’t hurt.

“Have you ever wanted to hurt me?” Michael questions then steamrolled on before Alex can answer. “No because you just told me you’ve been trying to protect me since that day. You’ve always been trying to protect me and it kinda pisses me off, now that I think about it, because by protecting me you’ve had to stay away when all i’ve ever wanted was for you to stay.”

Taking a breath Michael once again gives Alex his heart.

“So I’m staying and you better too. I won’t be level headed about freeing my mom and the others so i’m gonna need you Alex.”

Alex’s arms come around him and pulls him down.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

Michael waits til Alex is finally asleep before gently pulling away so he can remove his belt buckle and move to the free space next to Alex. He just lays there letting everything they said sink in and enjoys the chaos go quiet when he focuses on Alex’s quiet breathing. He’s out before he knows it.

[gra-sonas]

Better order one last Little Green Men milkshake at the Crashdown Cafe, and get ready for a final close encounter with the "Pod Squad" during tonight's (Sept 5) series finale of Roswell, New Mexico.

From the very first episode, Roswell, New Mexico has featured queer characters. Even though the central relationship between Liz (Jeanine Masters) and Max (Nathan Parsons) was featured on the show's posters and billboards, #Malex is the couple the fans fervently tweet about when a new episode airs.

Ever since Michael Guerin [Michael Vlamis] and Alex Manes [Tyler Blackburn] shared a passionate kiss in the pilot, viewers have been shipping Malex, but fans were disappointed during this season when Alex sank into the liminal space dimension and disappeared for multiple episodes — leaving fans to wonder if the couple would blast off happily ever after.

Alex remained missing for most of Season 4 before finally reuniting with Michael in Episode 11, with Alex proposing to Michael and the two almost getting married in a makeshift ceremony in the alien alternate universe.

Now with the series finale about to air, Michael and Tyler spoke with Logo about their characters' cosmic love story, what it was like filming their epic reunion, how they never visited Roswell's gay bar, and if they would be up for a Malex spinoff.

The Malex reunion scene in Episode 11, what was it like filming that after all your time apart?

Michael: It was a long, long time coming. We picked up right where we left off. Tyler's just so open as a performer. So, there's never any rust when you show up to play off and work off him. It literally was just like, "About time you're back" and we just got right to it. I don't know, it was easy.

Tyler: Yeah. We really do just have a natural ability to snap each other into where we need to be. I mean, truly, it's one of my favorite people to do scenes with in my entire life. So, I agree. Super easy, and it felt momentous Also, Heather Hemmens [who plays Maria] was directing, and that was also very special. I remember we did one take of that scene, and Heather came over with a tear in her eye and she was like, "It's so good, it's so good." And I was just like, this feels good, this feels right.

I wanted to ask about Heather directing. That must have been nice to have someone you're so familiar with behind the camera when you were doing that scene.

Tyler: Yeah, absolutely. The thing with TV is a lot of times you don't get too many of the same directors more than once, but Heather had been part of the show as an actress throughout the entire series. So she really does know the story and the characters, and it just really did make it feel a little bit more grounded, in my opinion. Plus, I just found her energy to be so calm. She's such a calm person. She just is really good at being a human being, I would say actually.

Michael: And you want to do good work for her. You want to do your best for her.

You two have such good chemistry together. Was that always there from the beginning? Or was that from hanging out for these past few years?

Tyler: I think it was always there, you know? It's funny because I feel like the chemistry that we have on screen is actually more so because of how we allow each other to explore during scenes. When we're just hanging out or talking as friends, we're kind of just idiots together. I mean we get along really well, but the chemistry, I think, is just something that we can turn on because we're on the same page as far as what we want to do for our characters, and for each other as the characters. I think we both just knew exactly what needed to happen from day one. I feel like you [Michael] showed up knowing exactly what you needed to do and where you needed to go, and so did I. We had just made a decision. We barely even got to talk about it as two actors, we just showed up and it was like, here we go. And it was innate.

Michael: I always feel like chemistry just comes from people being open. When you have insecurities, when you're worried about how you look on screen or something like that in the moment, sure, we all want to look good, but once the camera is rolling, all that matters is you are here to act, you're here to receive what happens, doesn't matter how you look. It matters how truthful the scene is. So when two people who operate that way, Tyler and myself are together, no matter who the actors are, if they both operate that way, then they're going to be basically one. And that's when people do their best work. And Tyler's just, if I do something different, if I hit his shoulder, he's going to do something back to me like that. And he's just always ready, always on his toes. And I try to do the same thing, whatever you put up, or put down, I'm picking up, no matter what.

So Tyler, the night of the episode where Alex returns, you tweeted out about your health issues that kept you from being in a majority of Season 4. What was it like sharing that? And what was the reaction from the fans like?

Tyler: So really, I guess the reason I wanted to just be transparent was, obviously I was missing from much of this season, and I had just caught wind that a lot of fans were coming in pretty hard on the creators and the writers and stuff. And I found that to be pretty unfair, because this wasn't a choice that they made. They actually were trying to figure out how to create this season without my character, because I needed time. So, I wanted to just tweet out because I felt the need to absorb, I guess, a little bit of that responsibility, and it wasn't anyone else's decision. That was the main intention. And I'm not someone who looks at a lot of my comments and stuff, but I saw some really nice things, and that felt really great for me to feel supported, just like I did throughout the filming.

I also wanted to ask you about your tweet that said you're forever grateful to "the human beings who made this show." Why did you tweet that? I thought it was such a nice thing to say.

Tyler: Well, just because I was going through a tough time, and I never felt like I was not supported. And that really says a lot, to have people show up and be there for you. A lot of what I was dealing with was physical issues. I had to show up in pain a lot of the time and to have people accommodate me, or help me, or literally holding onto Vlamis' shoulder while walking to set to shoot. Those little things just make you feel... I'm going to get emotional. They make you feel safe. Because at the end of the day I wanted to uphold my responsibility and the agreement that I made on this show. And I had to fight through some shit, but I felt supported. And that was so important for me to validate, and let people know that what goes on behind the scenes is also really important too. And the humans on that show, I say humans almost jokingly, since this is a show about aliens, but seriously though, everyone was so great on that show.

And Michael, I'm guessing your social media for most of the season was just people asking, "Where's Alex, where's Alex?"

Michael: The whole time.

What's that been like for you?

Michael: Well, I felt bad because I knew that they were going to continue to ask, and they weren't going to get what they wanted. Just like I wanted more Alex. But I care about Tyler more than I care about Michael Guerin and Alex. And we end up having a great ending to this season and I think it all worked out the way it was supposed to and everything came together. I could just go on and on about how much I love working with Tyler. So I wanted it too. I was there feeling the same, "Oh, it'd be good to do a scene with Tyler today. Haven't done one with Tyler in a while." I honestly just felt bad for him, because I knew how long it was going to be. And I couldn't say anything and people have been asking for, they asked for eight or nine episodes straight, but that's what happens.

In last week's episode where you had the makeshift wedding ceremony with the "Malex Forever" banner behind you, what was it like filming that scene?

Michael: That scene was really cool. It was just fun being in that barn. It was fun to be at a wedding that you really want, but at the same time you have to deny. I was like, man, he's so close to this finally happening, and now I just got to do this. So, it was cool just to have [co-stars] Zoe [Cipres] and Quentin [Plair] there. I became close with both of them. And having Tyler back, it was a fun scene. It's fun to play in the turmoil of it all. I enjoy those scenes more sometimes than the really lighthearted ones.

And without giving much away or anything, can you tease what's ahead for the series finale?

Michael: Oh. What could we say to tease?

Tyler: I would say it's a happy ending. Let's just say that.

Michael: Yeah, I think that's a great thing to say. It's a happy ending. Finally.

When you were filming these episodes, did it feel like this could be the end? What was it like on set?

Michael: People weren't really acting that way, but I had this strange feeling. It was so weird, because every season you say bye to everyone. Some people give wrap gifts to each other. The actors, we usually get the cast and crew something. And when we were giving those out and saying our goodbyes, it felt like goodbye, goodbye. And I didn't really understand that. But part of me was like, well, the way the season ends, a lot of storylines... Yeah, there are some cliffhangers, but a lot of the storylines get to a place that people are going to be really happy about, and they're going to be comfortable with where we're leaving characters. So yeah, I felt like it was time. It was time that it was going to be done. I was still a little surprised when the cancellation happened, but I also wasn't. But once it happened, I thought back to those feelings I had on that last week of shooting. It was like, "Oh, I think this is it."

Tyler: But I think also too, one big difference was between [seasons] two and three, we knew before we've wrapped that we were going to be coming back. So then this was like, we didn't know. And we didn't know when we were going to know. It did feel a little bit ominous, but I'm a strong believer in ending something on a high note. I think for me, even if I was just viewing this show, I'd be like, I think this is the right time. I feel like it just felt right. I don't know if the writers wrote with that in mind. I think they had to, in case we didn't get picked up, they were like, we have to end this in some way that's really great. But I agree, I think everything is kind of wrapped up in a nice bow.

And Tyler, I'm guessing we aren't going to hear you sing on the show again?

Tyler: No, but it's great because I feel we each get our moment with music. You're [Michael] playing guitar in this last episode. I think it's fun that we shared that commonality as well as characters.

I was also sad that we didn't go back to the gay bar, Planet 7

Tyler: I never got to go there.

Michael: I was going to say, why didn't we get to go there?

Tyler: The two out, outwardly gay characters don't even go to the gay bar!

Michael: Ridiculous.

That should have been in Season 5.

Michael: We'll go with Kyle Valenti.

Tyler: Guerin could have been wearing only chaps and a cowboy hat. You have a nice ass.

Michael: Thanks, man. Appreciate that, you too.

When the show began, Liz and Max's relationship was the central love story, but as the seasons went on it seems like it became Malex. Was that talked about on set or between you and the other actors?

Michael: That's interesting. People on set did not talk about it. Of course, you get Liz and Max on the billboards around town and all that stuff. So you just think about that being the couple, that's the relationship. But from the beginning, social media has been going crazy [for Malex] in a way that was so surprising, and it was so fun for us. I don't know if it was surprising for Tyler, but for me, I had never experienced anything like this before. It has felt like we were always loved by the fans, and not that we were the number one ship on the show or anything like that, but that we were loved and supported. That has never felt like it's changed at all. Every year it just feels the same, and maybe it is growing and becoming more intense, but it's always been that way since the beginning. It is amazing how hard the fans came out immediately.

Tyler: I think that's just indicative of how times have changed too. The fact that a gay relationship is something to celebrate, and talk about, and root for. I think it came at the right time in television. So I think that has a lot to do with it. I think, how many times have you heard older actors say, "I wish there were more people out when I was growing up and had someone to look up to, it's like, now that exists." So you have a platform where all of these younger people, who are queer, can watch and celebrate. Then you have people who are not queer, who are watching and celebrating even, because they realize how valid it is, and how important it is. At the end of the day, you have two human beings who are so deeply in love. And if you're at all a normal human being, you know that feeling. So you watch two people on screen, and you feel that.

Michael: Yeah, no matter who they are.

Tyler: So I think there's a lot to it. But I was surprised. It was just celebratory, and sort of soothing for me, once I realized it was a really big deal. But you know what's funny, is in the pilot when we shot the scene where we kiss, do you remember all the people at video village were just like, cheering, literally cheering?

Michael: Yeah, I do remember that.

Tyler: As if they had already been watching this relationship, and it was like they were celebrating it already. This was the pilot.

Michael: That's a good point. Everybody was there because it was the last thing we shot I think.

Tyler: Yeah, yeah. So it was an interesting moment because I felt like, I don't know, maybe it was a little foreshadowing.

That chemistry.

Michael: That was the beginning, dude. That's crazy to think about.

Tyler: I know, I know.

Well, it must be cool because I think Malex is one of the great queer relationships on TV in recent years.

Tyler: I know. And I wonder sometimes too, and this is in no way a dig at all towards anyone, but I just wonder if this was a more, I don't know, adult network or show, would it have been a bigger deal even? I feel like a lot of people turn their nose up at the CW, or a show about aliens, and it's like, at the end of the day, we're pulling out some dope shit. We're fucking bringing it hardcore.

Michael: We did. There were times where I was just like, man, this scene is so fucking real. So truthful. This is happening on shows that are getting Emmy noms, and the scenes between us, the acting that we were doing, the chemistry that we had, the stuff that we were representing, I can only hope that more people find the show as it progresses, because it deserves that. Our scenes man, we put some stuff down where we were exhausted, we were sick, we were depressed. We felt... We made it real dude. We made it real, and I believe that deserves to be watched. But if it's never watched, we put it out there for us, and that's all that matters. So we'll see what happens.

Tyler: It lives on in this day and age though.

Michael: It lives on.

Tyler: It's somewhere. Yeah. But no, I mean, I agree with that so much. I think... And it's also a testament to the writers, and how they were able to really tap into the foundation of what the relationship was. I mean I just, I hope that people feel the importance of it for sure.

Michael: Shout out to [creator and former showrunner] Carina MacKenzie... Malex is her baby.

Well, hopefully, she likes how it ends, however it ends.

Michael: I think Carina will be happy too. We can tease that.

So is there a Roswell group chat going on, or are there any plans for a Roswell real-life reunion? Have you all been keeping in touch?

Michael: A bunch of the castmates are actually teaming up with us on our next Vlambase merch launch actually, which is cool. But other than that, there's still a fantasy football league that's going around. I don't know if you're in that Tyler, but I got that email.

Tyler: I literally don't know one thing about football.

My last question is: Is there anything that you want to say to these Malex fans now that the series is ending?

Tyler: I think that they should know they were pivotal in the way that we played the characters too because I think that we listened to what they were saying. I think the writers did as well. I think that they love the ship, they celebrate the ship, but the ship became what it is in large part to their support. So it's this cyclical dynamic that I hope they understand how important they were in that.

Michael: Yeah, I think straight up, the fans in a way, changed my life. That sounds pretty dramatic, but truly, over four years, you're going to change regardless, right? But they were always there supporting, pushing us, driving us in a way with love and care, and compassion to do the best work we can. So we just continued. I couldn't wait to see what people thought about scenes that I knew meant a lot to both of us. It was such a joy to know that I can go on Twitter, whether stuff is bad or good. I remember when the first trailer came out for Comic Con, and it was so funny. I got stoned and read all the comments. I had never been on TV before, and I'm just getting trashed as the new Michael Guerin. I thought it was awesome. I'm not offended by any of that stuff. Just bring it, I'm still going to do my thing. But the fact that you could go on Twitter and see what is resonating, see what they're turning into gifs and special moments. That was so cool, and so propelling for me specifically as a younger actor, new to the game, coming up. So it's just a big thank you to them.

I love that. Well, Michael, Tyler, I always love talking to you, and I guess this will probably be the last time, until there's a Roswell revival or something in 10 years.

Tyler: The Malex spinoff!

Michael: Yes, yes!

[capseycartwright]

"I am fed up with half-measures. I deserve better." (Got huge buddie and malex vibes from this one 👀)

ao3 link

The last thing Eddie expected to find at his door was Buck, of all people – not because Buck was an unusual fixture in his home; no, because Buck was supposed to be on a date.

Eddie had been trying his best for weeks now, to be the dutiful best friend, and support Buck’s relationship with Taylor – regardless of how much he wished Buck wasn’t dating anyone else – and it was hard. It was hard, and so Eddie was halfway through a tub of his favourite flavour of ice-cream (the excessively expensive one Buck had introduced him to, the one Eddie only bought when he knew Christopher wasn’t home). He’d also cracked open a bottle of wine Hen and Karen had given him as a thank you for babysitting Denny, one Saturday afternoon (he’d made a mental note to thank Karen – the woman had good taste in wine) and so Eddie was well settled in for an evening of feeling sorry for himself while Christopher was at a sleepover party.

Until – well, Buck decided to bang his door in.

Tucking his ice-cream into the crook of his arm, Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You have a key,” he reminded, looking a frazzled Buck up and down. He was clearly dressed for a date – wearing that blue striped shirt that made Eddie’s mouth water, a neat jacket over the top – but he was also clearly not on said date.

“I have had the worst day,” Buck declared dramatically, kicking his sneakers off in the hallway, brow furrowing as he noticed the bottle of wine on the table. “Do you have company?” he asked, clearly confused – Ana was long gone, to be fair, their relationship having ended weeks previously.

Eddie swallowed, glancing down at his very sad outfit of a pair of raggedy old sweatpants, and a grubby sweatshirt that had definitely seen better days – Eddie wasn’t a sentimental man, really, but Christopher always called it Eddie’s cuddliest sweatshirt, so Eddie didn’t have the heart to throw it out.

“No,” he reassured. “I don’t.”

“Wine, though?”

“Are you questioning my methods of self-care?” Eddie retorted. “I like wine, sue me.”

“All wine tastes the same,” Buck sighed, throwing himself on the couch, reaching for the bottle.

“You can have a glass,” Eddie intervened. “But I will kick you out of my house if you drink directly from that bottle, Buck. I’d like to pretend I have some level of class,” he sighed, padding into the kitchen and grabbing another wine glass – a set Abuela had bought him, when he’d moved to LA. “So,” he said, setting the glass down on the coffee table, pausing to take a scoop of his slowly melting ice-cream before he continued. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or are we going to play charades?”

Buck rolled his eyes, but took the wine glass, all the same, pouring himself a generous measure. He took a swig, before he spoke, raising an eyebrow. “Did you pick this out?” he questioned, no doubt thinking back to the evening where Eddie had been in charge of getting wine for their family dinner and had accidentally bought cooking wine. It was an easy mistake to have made, if you asked Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. “Present from Karen and Hen,” he clarified. “Stop deflecting.”

“I broke up with Taylor,” and oh, if Eddie hadn’t been waiting to hear those words for so long.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie tried, because he couldn’t look that happy about it, could he? It would give the game away – and in so many ways, Eddie was convinced his feelings were obvious, that he’d given the game away a long time ago, but Buck had never mentioned it.

“I’m not,” Buck looked furious, again. “I – we had this nice date planned, right? We made sure to pick a night where we were both off, where she doesn’t need to be in work early tomorrow, and I’m off, so we could get breakfast, too – really spend some time together,” he explained. “And I got to the restaurant and I waited, and I waited, and I waited for a fucking hour, Eddie, and nothing – no text, no call from her. I was sitting there, spiralling, wondering if she was – if she was dead, or something. Right? So, after an hour, I decided I was going to pass by the news station, and see what was happening, and do you know what she said?”

Eddie shook his head.

“That she’d told her intern to call me and cancel our date, because a story came up,” Buck practically spat. “I mean, is she serious? And like – I love that she has a career she loves, because she gets how I feel about being a firefighter, but she does this all the time and I just never feel like I’m even getting close to the top of her priority list. So, I – I asked her, if I was ever going to be something she prioritised over work, and she said no.”

Eddie winced. “She was honest, at least,” he tried.

“Totally,” Buck agreed. “And I appreciate the honesty – really – and it’s not like it ended on bad terms. We just didn’t want the same thing out of a relationship, and I’m not going to resent her for it. But – fuck, this is nice wine by the way – I am fed up with half-measures, Eddie,” he sighed, slumping back on the couch. “I deserve better.”

Eddie swallowed thickly. Buck did deserve better – and Eddie wasn’t going to sit here and pretend as though he was better, as though he knew he could be boyfriend of the year and give Buck everything he needed. But – Eddie loved him, and surely, surely that had to be enough? It had to be enough to love someone so much it felt like your love for them was etched into the very bones of who you were? Eddie so badly wanted to be enough.

“I wouldn’t,” Eddie said quietly, suddenly conscious of the melting ice-cream he was still gripping tightly. It had cost eleven dollars, he reminded – he should probably put it back in the freezer.

Buck looked at him, utterly confused. “What?”

“I wouldn’t love you in half-measures,” Eddie wasn’t sure where he was finding the bravery, to finally say it, to tell Buck how he felt, but somehow, somewhere, he’d found a bravery he wasn’t sure he’d ever had before. He had thought he’d be spending the rest of his life trundling along, desperately in love with a best friend who didn’t love him back. Eddie had accepted it, almost – because having Buck as a friend was better than not having Buck at all.

Buck’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes wide, and excited. “How would you love me, Eddie?” he asked, his voice soft, and trembling – the only giveaway that he felt as nervous as Eddie did, there and then, dangling on the precipice of something new, and wonderful.

“Forever,” Eddie said. “I’d love you forever, Buck.”

(And when Buck kissed him – he tasted like wine, and Eddie knew he tasted like wine, and Buck’s shirt was soft, under tentative fingertips as Eddie reached out to hold him the way he’d so desperately wanted to for so long, and –

Well, it felt like the beginning of forever.)

send me a prompt from this list

[angrycowboy]

Malex & Love Languages in S3

I have been thinking about Malex and love languages in S3 so much after 3x08, because I think what we saw was a dramatic shift in how Malex reads and reacts to each other.

Chasing outlines Malex’s love languages in S1 perfectly in this post and with this gifset, so I don’t think it needs to be rehashed (but definitely check them out first before reading this). I just want to talk about how it relates to Malex in S3 so far, and why the progress we saw from both Michael AND Alex up until 3x08 truly shows just how far they have come as people, and to being able to be together.

Though we don’t have a clear definition of what Michael was going to say to Alex at the bus stop in 3x01, or how he was going to react, we do know from Isobel that he was feeling hopeful about their future together. Malex doesn’t interact until 3x03, and while they trades barbs with each other that is typical for their relationship (especially from Michael, who looks like he hasn’t slept and has been lighting his hand on fire constantly for the past 24 hours), it’s Alex that changes up the dynamic. Alex takes the opportunity to not leave them on a bad note with a fight, and instead openly expresses his own feelings in words to Michael.

Words, as Chasing stated in her meta, is Michael’s primary love language. It is the one he understands the best when directed at him, and it is also the one he is most often expressing, as well as the one that holds the most emotional weight to him. And you can see from his expression afterwards, it is those words, it is Alex finally expressing his feelings in Michael’s primary love language, that has a major impact on him.

Malex doesn’t interact again until 3x06 - when Michael calls Alex about investigating the bats and the radio tower. Alex’s evasiveness isn’t meant to hurt Michael in any way - it’s one of Alex’s own love languages taking shape. He believes he’s protecting Michael by not including him in his Deep Sky involvement, because the last time he got Michael involved well, Caulfield happened. Jesse putting a gun in Michael’s face happened, despite Alex’s best efforts in trying to keep Michael safe.

It’s here we see Alex’s attempt at verbalizing his protection of Michael.

And later, just as he is discovering Eduardo’s involvement, he is also listening to Michael’s voicemail telling him he was wrong in what he told Michael (that the radio tower was a dud). He’s making the slow realization that it doesn’t matter if he keeps these things from Michael (because as Chasing stated in her meta, Alex’s protection of others is often unvoiced - he doesn’t feel the need to tell people what he’s doing to keep them safe, he just does it), Michael is going to potentially end up in harm’s way regardless.

So by 3x08, we see Alex put that realization into action by refusing to let Michael go off and find Jones on his own. For once, Alex uses his words, and truly verbalizes his protection properly.

You can see how deeply it affects Michael almost immediately (because for someone who’s primary love language is words, Michael is rarely ever without them).

But because of Alex’s words, because Alex is finally speaking Michael’s love language back to him, we see the beginning of a greater understanding between them.

As Michael goes off about contingency plans in the truck later, Alex shuts him down - all focus, all plan. It’s when he sees how Michael reacts to that, he softens (literally, he exhales, and deflates a little in his seat), and shifts gears. He once again uses his words to explain to Michael why they need to be strategic, why emotions cannot dictate their actions today.

And Michael immediately recognizes it for what it is, his hand going to Alex’s shoulder to comfort him. Touch is a love language both of them speak and understand, but it is usually Alex using it as an answer to Michael’s words, not the other way around. For once, Michael doesn’t use his words, but keeps his hand on Alex’s neck, stroking his face, letting touch be his reply.

At the Pony, it continues too. Alex keeps talking. Telling Michael that maybe it’s Nora he’s taken after, not Jones. Reading Michael’s disappointment at not being able to see the tech his mother designed, and offering up trying to get Michael clearance. So when Michael says, “One mission at a time,” it’s not because he has any intention of kissing Alex in that moment, it’s because he’s answering back in his own primary love language. But what he doesn’t expect is for Alex to ask about it, and what he means, looking for clarification.

So Michael answers with Alex’s primary love language, and the one they both share: TOUCH. It’s very reminiscent of their first kiss in the museum, of Alex’s “Okay, talk,” and Michael, who is rarely rendered speechless, simply responds by kissing him.

[salmonthestoryteller]

Science Bros Season 4 Parallels

For my previous posts about the parallels of Liz & Michael’s journey go here:

Part 1: Michael & Liz (Season 1)

Part 2: Liz & Michael (Seasons 2-3)

Michael and Liz start the season, once again, in the same place. They've been with their respective partners for half a year now, and have started to become settled for perhaps the first time in both their lives.  However, they are both thrown for some loops in that regards during the season, starting with the men they love deciding to take the next step in their relationships.

Before Season 4 begins, Alex asks Michael to move in with him. While he agreed, we begin the series with Michael feeling very unsettled about this.  Spiraling into old fears.  Surprisingly, it's Malex’s turn to solve their issues quickly.  A few conversations later, the two are settled and happy. In fact, Michael lays this part of their story to rest in episode 3.

Michael: "Well, my running man-days are over. Alex may be out chasing weather balloons, but my bags are unpacked.”

Max, meanwhile, has plans to ask Liz to marry him.  Their dance with this lasts the rest of the season.  With a combination of their own old fears and the new alien threat continuously getting in the way.

In the meanwhile, both Liz and Michael fall into old obsessions.

Liz meets Shivani and is quickly captivated once again with unlocking the secrets of alien science.  At first, the goal is simply to aid against the new threat.  However, as the season continues Liz obsession slowly grows into something far more dangerous.

Michael meets Clyde and is quickly captivated once again with discovering the secrets of their home world.  At first, his goal is also to be of aide against the new threat. Befriending Bonnie and attempting to save her from the cult of Ophiuchus. However, after realizing that Clyde is offering him a way home to Oasis, Michael's obsession also grows.

Meanwhile, their love interests both come under attack by Tezca.  Alex is kidnapped, taking him out of the fight for the time being.  While Max makes a dangerous decision to rid himself of his powers - lessening his ability to aid in the battle against the other aliens.

Michael realizes his obsession with Oasis has distracted him while Alex was in danger.

Liz almost comes to the same conclusion upon seeing Shivani’s obsession begin to spiral out of control, but her journey is interrupted when she's dosed with the alien mist.

In the final climax, Liz and Michael are both called upon to use their genius to find a way to save the group. Liz to stop Clyde from getting to Oasis, and Michael to save the group from the Pocket Dimension.

Malex, having found their balance, decides to hell with just living together and gets engaged and then married.  Their separation, and Alex almost dying, having been the final major hurdle in their relationship.

Echo had also found their balance, and they almost take the next step as well.  However, they are once again interrupted - this time by Max’s decision to go to Oasis.  They do get there, however - third time’s a charm - when they meet before the gate and finally get engaged.  In a sense, Max going to Oasis is much like Alex’s time in the pocket dimension - Echo’s final hurdle before their happily ever after.

Unfortunately, with the series not being renewed for a fifth season, that does leave us without Echo’s marriage to complete the parallels. (Though it may have spared us Max almost dying on Liz again.)

I am going to miss our Scientific Geniuses, their alien shenanigans, and matching journeys toward the happiness they deserve.

[miladylocksley]

ECHO / MALEX PARALLELS

What would you do for love? Would you risk walking along a precipice so steep that, if you fell, you’d be lost forever? Would you sell your soul if it meant getting the chance to see your loved one again? Will you shy away from love’s greatness? Or chase it hard enough to escape the fears that come along with it? Does love confuse you? Empower you? Or cloud your path forward? Because what I know of love is that it can do all those things.

I see your faults and I love you.

How can I be mad at you for falling for Michael Guerin? It’s the easiest thing in the world.

Easily.

I am so in love with you it’s embarrassing.

What about Liz? I mean, she fell in love with an alien.

What if I have to kill my own father. You gonna love me then?

What happens when I’m no longer the secret to the universe?

Is it gonna set us right back to square one?

You’re still in Roswell.

I thought for sure when I got back from Iraq you would be long gone.

If I cave and take off again, I need you to follow me this time. Don’t let me go that easily again, okay?

Is that what you want?

I never would’ve in the first place if I didn’t think it was what you wanted.

We’re not kids anymore. What I want doesn’t matter.

I want you.

If I had gotten out, left Roswell, and I asked you to come with me, would you?

When you were back, when I could finally touch you, when I could finally breathe, I needed to take just one moment to remember where I end and where you begin.

All our years of this, I’ve never said no to you. You push me away, you pull me back in, and I go where you want me.

To just be whole in who I am.

I wanna be good for somebody.

Without you, the world would have Liz Ortecho.

I don’t wanna keep hoping that maybe this time you won’t go.

I’m afraid of myself.

That self-loathing is what caused this mess between us for fifteen years.

I just can’t shake off the feeling that if I hadn’t backed away a few weeks ago, things would be different now.

He was locked up the day that I left. I didn’t get to say goodbye.

We are way past skipping town.

We are not who we were in high school, let alone a year ago.

I’m positive the worst thing that’s ever happened to you is connected to me.

His family is involved in the conspiracy that tortured and killed the other aliens. He’s tangled up in all these terrible memories of my life and—

Liz Ortecho is my hurricane.

I love him. I probably always will. But lately that love just hurts.

I am in love with you. And right now, I hate it.

Coming back to him, it always feels like a crash landing.

[…] no matter how hard you grasp on to sand, it still slips through your fingers. Max has to go down his own path, even if you think it’s a mistake.

I shouldn’t have left you behind when I enlisted.

I said no to Max because I am terrified of building a perfect life with him only to have it torn away from me forever.

I could stand here and tell you that I didn’t wanna leave, but I did. After what my dad did to you, I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles.

I was all alone because of a choice you made, but still, every single thing I did was for you and about you and with you.

I spend a year cleaning up my father’s messes and I made sure that not one of them touched Michael.

I want to build a life with you, Max.

I wanted to fix this for you. I just wanted to clear it up, so that—  We could live a normal picket-fenced life.

Coming home to you at the end of my worst days, and my best days, is the only rescue I need.

Alexander Manes, I’m home.

I’ve been holding back because I want so badly to hold on to this moment. But we can’t hold onto it, can we? Things are always changing.

I just thought that I could be happy and not be afraid that if I loved anything my dad would destroy it. 

Just because we're at that crossroad doesn't mean we have to choose the same paths that divided us before.

I guess I just couldn’t get the fear of the rocky path we have ahead of us out of my mind.

This is a second chance.

You were sending out some pretty intense "I think it's our time" vibes.

The road is literally right before us. And I want to choose with you where we go next.

What’s the mission you’re working on right now?

I don’t know what you thought love was gonna be like when we were 17,

We’re not the same kids we were back in high school,

but it isn’t just sunsets and horseback rides.

in the back of a pick-up truck, wishing on a shooting star.

I have loved you my entire life, including every single day you were gone in the last decade.

Every time you look at me, I’m 17 again. And I forget that the last 10 years even happened. And then you look away and I remember all over again and it almost kills me. Every time.

I think about you, every day. And every time I try to go to the ocean, I can’t. Cause you’re not with me.

All I’ve ever wanted my entire life was to make you happy.

How do we just drive off into the sunset, happy, when I feel like the next thing is around the corner?

I’m afraid we’re only getting the start of something.

Do you love him?  More than anything. That I’m sure of.

I want to marry Alex more than anything.

I just can’t help but wonder if it’s the right time.

It’s not our time right now.

I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop.

If you run now, you’ll be risking everything.

Don’t you wanna live without fear, Liz?

Your greatest fear has been actualized. Your father’s hatred is stronger than your capacity to love.

There is no future together for Max Evans and Liz Ortecho.

You know, I used to really think that you and I were gonna end up together.

I am so sick of people telling me what my future is. I’m gonna take my fate into my own hands.

This world where you don’t live in fear is not gonna build itself so I have to try. For us.

Nothing is too risky when it comes to the people we love.

I would burn the entire world down first.

If you created a whole branch of science to save someone, I’m guessing you love them deeply.

The least I can do is jump into a sinkhole to save my soulmate.

Last I heard, you are the love of my life.

Then I fell in love with your son, and I didn’t feel superior anymore.

What I want to say is that meeting you and being with you elevated my life.

I am angry. And smashing things, it's easy. Alex has evolved past that.

All of the good things I’ve done, all of my best discoveries, it’s because you’ve been by my side.

You were the best of me. You are the best of me.

I am not better off without you. I am not whole without you.

What I can’t live without is you.

I know we can figure it out together. No big decisions have to be made today.

People get freaked out when they make life decisions like this.

Just take it one day at a time and we’ll get there.

So why don’t you put your hand in mine and we’ll start with that?

You quiet all the noise.

Together we could quiet all the noises, drown out the voices, play our own song.

She doesn’t want to admit it, but she believes in us. Just like I do.

You don’t walk away from a broken engine. You find a way to make it purr again.

Love is a constant state of breaking and remaking. And relationships, they evolve to survive.

You know how I knew it was time to ask Michael to move in with me? I listened to my heart.

Our love will find a way, that I’m sure of.

I wanted to build a home together.

Nothing’s bigger than us.

We connected like something—  Cosmic.

Our love is stronger than that. Our love is stronger than all of this.

But you know who's reaching back? Alex. To you.  [..] every bit as determined to be with you as you are with him. That's powerful.

I will always be on your side, regardless of what path you choose.

I always got you.

Promise you’ll ask me again, Max Evans.

Feels different now between us.

Cause I promise I will say yes.

Yeah, it’s better.

I’m not afraid of the other shoe anymore. Cause it dropped and we handled it.

Like a piece of alien tech, I don’t like being parted from my alien.

No matter our distance, I wanted to give you something to keep a little closer to your heart.

The pieces, they want to be together.

I love you, Liz. You don’t know how much.

I trust that no matter what comes our way next, no matter how far apart we are from each other in this world, we will always find our way back to each other.

Yeah, I do. Cause I’m gonna feel it across the universe, Max Evans.

[…] what we have built together on our planet.

You said that was the first time you ever felt connected to this world.

Alex made me believe there was a place for me here.

Run away with me, Max Evans? Anywhere.

Oasis, Roswell, I don’t care if we are on other sides of the universe. As long as we are looking at the same stars, I will never look away.

This is me saying “Hell yes”.

Michael Guerin, will you marry me?

I love you. And you’re damn well gonna marry me when you get back.

You know what I just realized? I married my high school sweetheart.

[lovecolibri]

I just...🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ IMAGINE trying to hype an episode with "the journey really begins kinda cliffhangers" when there are literally 3 episodes left of the entire show after this one. "The journey" should have "begun" at the START of the season, not the fucking END. This entire season has been a joke.

And if they* think having almost the entire Malex relationship taking place over hiatus and then burying Alex for what looks to be around 9 out of 13 episodes while not even allowing Michael to notice he's missing or go after him, and then slapping a Malex wedding into the finale is satisfying, they're sorely mistaken.

*this is NOT directed at Valmis or Tyler as they have no control over how the story was written and anything THEY have to give us will be better, more heartfelt, and more appreciated than any bandaid the show tries to slap on the long dead, rotting corpse of a relationship they've tried to tell us Malex have without even bothering to attempt to put it on our screens.

[letstalkabouttvshows]

So @stillcosmic did a TOP 5 Malex moments and I decided to follow the lead and do mine too.

Yeah, it's hard to pick (!!!)

#5: Michael turning around when he hears Alex sing in the bar (2x13)

Why it's a favorite: Season 2 Michael is a mess. An understandable mess but a mess nonetheless. But the last three episodes cornered him to face what he had been trying to run from: his love for Alex.

From "Alex! I begged you to stay away" to "You sacrificed yourself without hesitation for Alex", Michael's reaction showed who actually had his heart all along. But would he do something about it or would he keep running?

And I think when he turned and saw Alex singing a song about them, I think he finally realized he couldn't ignore it anymore.

Michael's eyes in that whole scene expressed how deep their love is for each other. There's just so much. And that's the point: it's always gonna be so much.

#4: Caufield about to implode (1x12)

Why it's a favorite: Malex season 1 was the definition of: too much to handle. The tension between the two and the many tragic, heartbreaking things they were finding out, it was just a lot for both of them.

They were smacked right in the middle of trauma, again!

The whole exchanged between them as Michael finds out the alien locked in the cell is his mom to the realization she is gonna die, all of that in less than 5 minutes, just showed Malex in peak angst.

In that moment, there was so much tension but we see them lowering their defenses a bit with Alex heartbroken confidence "You are a miserable liar" and Michael's breakdown, leaning into Alex arms.

Plus, the I DON’T LOVE YOU! I DON’T! will always get to me. The ache, the hurt, the pain, the lie. Just perfect delivery from Vlamis. 

#3: Michael voicing his fear (3x13)

Why it's a favorite: Michael's fear about the showdown between them and Jones was rooted in what might happen to him and Alex after all was done.

He was afraid they wouldn’t get to go on dates or hold hands. Michael wants the whole package with Alex.

He's terrified that trauma would once again make its away into their relationship and they wouldn't survive a war that the last time, lasted almost 15 years.

The fact that Michael didn't want to lose the place him and Alex got after so much heartbreak, and not only that, he voiced that fear to Alex, just proved how much Michael it's committed to their relationship.

Michael loves Alex. He always wanted to be with Alex. And this moment right there just gave another glimpse of how much these two belong together.

Plus: Alex stroking Michael’s face was so tender, sweet and intimate. It was filled with love and understanding.  

# 2: Alexander Manes, I'm home (3x10)

Why it's a favorite: This scene had it all. Supportive boyfriends, admission that running from the past did not do any favors to Michael, callbacks to their innocent beginning, acknowledgement of their growth, cosmic mention and it brought Would you come home to full circle. Not only it tackled Alex’s fear but also, gave him an answer. 

Michael telling Alex he was home was the biggest love declaration anyone could ever hear from him, to the only person he could ever declared that to. 

Through this whole scene we saw Malex happy. 

Genuinely, undeniably happy just because they were finally together. 

#1: Pilot kiss (1x01)

Why it's a favorite: It’s the way Michael looked at Alex when he’s about to kiss him. It’s how they lingered into each other right after. 

Pilots are hard because they need to set up a bunch of the story and sometimes, there’s just a general idea of the characters journey and not a lot of details, Vlamis and Blackburn were able to captured the essence of what would be the most compelling love story of the show in that one scene. 

You could feel the vulnerability, the tension, the passion, the love and the pain between them. Looking back, with everything we know now, that scene just gets better.

It’s all there.

[pastelwitchling]

I cried myself to sleep last night, so that’s the kind of season we’ve got, people. Beware going in, I skipped every scene that didn’t have Michael, and a few of Maria’s for one reason I’ll list below, in my thoughts on 4x07.

I have nothing to say on Liz and Max since I skipped all of their scenes, along the scenes with Isobel and Dallas. I just don’t care, I really don’t. I just want Alex.

By the way, side note, when you have a “Last time on Roswell New Mexico” that takes forever because it’s diving into a million subplots that don’t need to be there, excluding even more subplots by the way, you have a problem.

We were robbed. That title was just intentionally tricking us, wasn’t it? To call an episode Dig Me Out when you knew the fandom would be demanding Alex to near-protest degrees by now is an intentional attempt to trick us into thinking that Michael at least would know by now, if not having Alex himself in the episode. Instead, who do we get discovering it?

The one fucking person we want as far away from Alex as possible.

And that’s why I didn’t skip her scenes . . . near the end. See, I went into the episode knowing full well that Maria, Liz, and Dallas would end up knowing about Alex being gone at the end, so while I was able to watch a second or two of the rest of Maria’s scenes (before I just couldn’t take anymore the fact that they were actually having Alex reach out to her of all people and ended up skipping since she assumed it was just her mother anyway), I ended up watching the one at the end.

I’ll get to that particular scene more and why it made me cry in a second, though I should think the reason’s obvious. But for now, I just. I’m. I am so sick of watching The Maria Show. It’s bad enough so much of season 3 focused on her, but now we get her involved with Alex’s storyline so that I’m obligated to sit through her scenes, and when I tell you the mere sight of her, after everything she’s done, makes my heart clench in the most painful, miserable way, believe me I’m not exaggerating. This character might just give me cancer, I loathe her that much.

The problem, however, is also the fact that I just want Alex back so bad, and I want someone to finally notice he’s gone, that I will take whatever I get at this point. The promo for next episode shows that Michael finally finds out, and I just hope it’s at the beginning. By the gods, we deserve that much by now.

I understand Tyler had to miss a few more episodes than usual (it’s only been two more episodes that he’s missed than his usual three, but it feels like an eternity, which really emphasizes how much he carries this show on his back and that’s probably why he had back problems), but it’s not hard to show Michael missing him when he’s not there. Show him bored, less in the mood to make jokes, too tired and busy missing Alex to be his usual snarky self, and have other characters notice and acknowledge that.

Quick mention that I did watch Dallas’s scene with Bonnie and Clyde there at the end, and, aside from liking Clyde and Bonnie together and wanting them together, I just love Dallas so much, and he’s so wonderful, and give him and Malex their own spinoff please, the three of them the center of the show the way Sam, Dean, and Cas were the center of Supernatural. Mostly Sam and Dean, but you get the point.

Now. That scene at the end. I know Alex isn’t dead. I know they wouldn’t do that. But just hearing the words, and after not having Michael even openly or privately miss him, and finally having her, of all people, find out he was gone, to then hear Liz ask if Alex was dead, too, it makes me cry now as I write this. The very words terrify me to my core, and I just really, after everything they’ve put us through, did not appreciate it.

This isn’t suspenseful storytelling, this is completely ignoring a most-beloved character when it would only make more sense to acknowledge him when he’s not there, and then throwing in a twist by the character that has wronged him the most, in unspeakable ways, all for the sake of shock value, and so that they could show off how “tolerant” they are by having Maria be the center, even though, instead of ever giving her a proper redemption arc, which they could’ve done this season, they instead try to trick the audience once again into thinking she never did anything wrong and that anyone is lucky to have her attention. I’d rather be branded, thanks.

But again, I’ll take what I can get at this point. My sole hope in terms of Maria’s involvement in Alex’s storyline is that it ends before the next episode does. I hope they just have her there to prove to Michael that Alex is missing and that it’s not because he’s dead (seriously rnm writers, you think it’s clever writing to make your audience cry more because they’re upset at the way the character’s treated than because the story itself earned those tears?), and then make her go away.

Finally, Michael. I get that going home was something he’s wanted since he was a kid, but he’s said several times already in the past four seasons that Alex is his home. Yet the dialogue comes off like he’s not even missing Alex and that he’s really not torn up at all about leaving him. I know that’s not the case, and thanks to Vlamis, we know that Michael isn’t Michael without Alex, but for the love of Poseidon, they need to show us that! I’ve watched the promo a hundred times by now just to rewind Michael finding out about Alex, and I hope that Michael not only finds out in the beginning of the episode and goes feral so that we could have as much of that as we are owed, but that Michael realizes that the idea of Alex being in danger tips the scales all the way so there’s no longer a choice between leaving and staying with Alex.

And you know the most tragic part of all of this? If I had known the pain this show would cause me--not like Merlin, that causes pain because it yanks on all the right heartstrings--but because I would get a hero that I haven’t loved this much since Harry Potter himself (who, by the way, Tyler himself said Alex was the Harry Potter of Roswell New Mexico and that is the best description that will ever be), and see the way he’s been so blatantly disrespected, I would still do this crap all over again, if only to have Alex Manes and malex in my life. For Alex and malex, I hope and plea to the gods that the next six episodes make up for the past five. That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.

[jule1122]

Malex Fic - I want you to move me

The writing part of my brain is still 99% broken, but this song makes my fingers itch.  This is really pure fluff with a little talking about smut although no actual smut happens.  Just a nice romantic moment between Michael and Alex and Liz and Max’s wedding.

I want you to move me on AO3

Summary: "I want you to move me Step into the moonlight Throw your weight in to me"

Title and Summary are both from “Move me” by half-alive.  The mood of this story is all set around the chorus of the song so I recommend listing to it if you can.

Michael twirls Rosa one last time as the music’s ending, smacking a loud kiss onto her cheek.  She sticks her tongue out at him, making him laugh as they leave the dance floor.  Without even thinking about Michael looks for Alex, eyes seeking him out automatically, and his breath catches when he spots him.

Alex is watching him, looking at him with a mix of love, amusement and a little bit of awe, as if he can’t believe he’s lucky enough to be loved by Michael.  It’s been years - decades if he forgets their time apart and remembers the first time he saw that look on Alex’s face - and Michael still isn’t used to it, hopes he never will be.

He blows Alex a kiss, bouncing on his feet when Alex’s smile widens even as he shakes his head at Michael’s antics.  Michael has an urge to just run to Alex and throw himself onto his lap, making him wonder if Max’s joy at finally marrying Liz is bleeding into his own emotions.  Hard as it is to believe, Michael’s reached a point where happy is his default state, but everything is a little exaggerated today.  He teared up during Max and Liz’s first dance, and cried openly when Max turned Liz over to Arturo for their dance, and Michelle surprised  Max at the edge of the dance floor and demanded her own dance.  Michael pulled it together for the bridal party dance but only because he knew Rosa wouldn’t tolerate his tears, and with only four of them - Michael and Isobel for Max, Rosa and Kyle for Liz - there was nowhere to hide from the guests that were watching them.

Now that the formal dances are over, people begin streaming toward the dance floor, and getting to Alex starts to feel like swimming upstream.  He passes Greg and Maria, and Maria catches his hand, giving it a quick squeeze as she walks by.

When he finally reaches Alex, the music changes to something slow and dreamy so Michael holds out his hand.  Alex shakes his head, smiling dimming a little, and Michael wants to kick himself.  The wedding had fallen in the midst of a pain flare up for Alex.  His leg had been bothering him for no discernible reason - could be a change in the weather, something off with his prosthetic, an awkward movement he didn’t remember - nothing they could pinpoint.  He’d stayed off his prosthetic for a few days before the wedding, and keeping pressure off his leg helped, but he was still limping enough Michael knew he’d feel self conscious on the dance floor even if all they were barely moving.  Alex wouldn’t care if it was just their family, but the guest list had grown to include people who didn’t know Alex at all or still thought of him as the war hero Alex had never felt like.

Michael’s about to sit next to Alex when he notices the patio doors are open.  “Feel like some air?” he asks, nodding toward the exit.

“Sounds good,”  Alex’s smile brightens again, and he takes Michael’s hand.

It's a beautiful night, clear and lit by an almost full moon.  The temperature dropped with the sun, but it’s still warm enough that they are comfortable with just their suit jackets.  The patio opens into a garden who’s path winds out of sight.  It’s not crowded, but several other guests are outside, some looking for a place to smoke.  Alex wrinkles his nose at the smell, and Michael doesn’t invade any minds, but he sends out a suggestion that it’s a good time to go back inside and soon they are alone.

Alex laughs and raises his brow at Michael, letting him know he doesn’t think their sudden solitude is a coincidence.

Michael just shrugs his shoulders and pulls Alex in for a kiss. He feels more settled, comfortable in his own emotions now that he’s not in the same room with Max.  Still happy and head over heels in love with Alex, but no more than he always is.  “Come on,” he says when they break apart, taking Alex’s hand and leading him down the steps.

When they reach the garden, Michael heads toward one of the benches lining the border, but Alex shakes his head.  “Feels good to walk after sitting for so long.”

So Michael redirects them to the path, careful to let Alex set the pace.  His limp doesn’t seem any worse, but his back is still stiff and tense, and Michael aches with the need to take Alex’s pain away. He can’t, there’s nothing he can do - even with his powers, God knows he’s tried, sometimes hurting Alex more in the process - so he settles for letting go of Alex’s hand and rubbing his back underneath his jacket as the walk.

Alex relaxes slowly as they walk, eventually wrapping his arm around Michael’s shoulder.  Michael leans into him and looks around.  The garden is dimly lit, enough light to be safe, but not enough to take away from the romantic atmosphere. They’d taken pictures earlier, under blue skies with colorful flowers contrasting perfectly with Liz’s white dress and Max’s dark suit.  Liz’s hair and dress tangled in the wind and Max kept trying to fix it, both of them laughing and smiling too much to bother with poses.  Now it’s starlight, filled with white, night blooming flowers, and with Alex in his arms, Michael thinks he prefers it this way, “It’s pretty here,” he tells Alex..

“Mmm,” Alex agrees.  “Isobel did a great job.  The whole day has been perfect.”

“You want all this,” he asks, gesturing not just at the garden, but the party behind them, “when we get married?”  Neither of them have proposed, there is no official engagement, but they’ve started talking this way - when we get married, when we move into a bigger house, when we start a family - their love and future together cemented as certain in their minds.

Alex pauses in their walk for a moment, thinking about it before he resumes their pace.  “I want what you want,” he finally says with a shrug.

“Alex,” Michael says exasperated because they’ve talked about this, too much really. Michael needs to know what Alex wants, needs, not just what he thinks he’s allowed to have.

“No, I mean it,” Alex insists.  “Once I realized no matter how perfect it sounded, I was never going to want to marry Maria, I stopped thinking about all of it.  Weddings, happily ever afters, those were things I was never going to have.  But you, Michael,” he turns so they’re facing each other and takes both Michael’s hands.  And the look is back on his face again, the one that never lets Michael forget how much Alex loves him.  “But even with all the shit life threw at you, you never stopped, dreaming or wanting. Even when I,” Alex lets out a shaky exhale, rests his forehead against Michael’s before continuing, “when I couldn’t believe, you still did.  So, yeah, Michael, anything you want.”

“Not all this,” Michael says.  Liz and Max’s wedding has been beautiful, everything going perfectly, but if Max’s second emotions almost overwhelmed him, a day like this with Alex might kill him.  “More than just us, something nice with just our families I think.”

“You realize ‘just’ our families has turned into a lot of people,” Alex teases him.

Alex is right, and Michael never thought that would happen.  He and Alex had both been so alone for years, rejected and forced to hide parts of themselves.  But somehow they had this sprawling web of relationships, of people who knew and loved them, some bound by blood, but all by choice.  “More people to delegate to,” he says with a smile.  “So all we have to do is show up and look pretty.”

“Ok,” Alex agrees easily.  “Soon.”

“Soon,” Michael echoes before sighing deeply.

“What?” Alex asks, concern edging into his voice.

Michael closes the small distance between them, waits until Alex wraps his arms around him before resting against his chest.  “All I want to do is take you home, get you out of the suit and take care of you.”

“Sounds good,” Alex whispers against his ear, making Michael shiver.

“But,” Michael groans, “we have to stay at least through the cake cutting and the part where I give a toast that has to at least be better than Valenti’s.”

Alex laughs a little, and Michael would be offended, but Alex has listened to him complain about this toast for weeks.  He doesn’t want to get emotional in front of a bunch of people, but he doesn’t want Max to think he’s blowing it off either.  Michael’s been aiming for humorous sincerity with various degrees of success.

“How about this,” Alex says, voice still low, breath still warm against Michael’s neck.  “I’ll give you a hickey for every alien reference you can make without actually admitting you and Max are aliens.”  He tilts Michael’s face up, pressing kisses against his forehead, cheekbone and jaw before finally reaching Michael’s mouth.

Michael melts into the kiss, opening eagerly for Alex’s tongue.  “Deal,” he agrees breathlessly when they break apart. “As soon as the toasts are over, I’m taking you home.  We’re going to soak in the hot tub, then I’m going to lay you out in our bed and give you a nice long massage so by the time I’m done, you’ll feel so good, I’ll barely get my mouth on you before you come for me.”

“Or,” Alex counters, trailing his hand along the open edge of Michael’s suit jacket before stopping at his hip, sliding his fingers under Michael’s belt so he feels the heat of them through the thin fabric of his shirt.  “I can come all over you, your chest, your stomach, your thighs.”  He tightens his grip on Michael’s hip, and Michael gasps, pressing closer to Alex.  “I want to lick it off you while I give you your reward.  Replace one mark with another.”  Alex sucks lightly on Michael’s neck, just below his jaw, hard enough to make his cock twitch, but not enough to bruise.  “Then I’ll suck you off so I can taste both of us together.”

“Jesus, Alex,” Michael rests his head on Alex’s shoulder and takes a deep, shuddering breath, trying to get his arousal under control.  “We better get back before I do something stupid like rip your clothes off right here.”

“Would that be so bad?”  Alex asks.  But he takes his hand off Michael’s hip, reaching up the cup the back of his neck, squeezing gently so Michael’s relaxes.

Michael tilts his face up to look at Alex, smiling at the way Alex manages to look both turned on and mischievous at the same time, making it harder to remember why blowing him right here isn’t an option.  “Isobel would take one look at us and know exactly what we’ve been doing.  And we would never hear the end of it.  Never.”

“True,” Alex concedes with a sigh.  He kisses Michael softly before stepping to the side and taking his hand.  “How much wine do you think it will take to bribe her to start the toasts as soon as we get back?”

“More than we can afford,” Michael tells him as they make their way back up the path toward the reception.  “But we can probably convince Liz to speed things up so she and Max can start their honeymoon as soon as possible. I don’t get it, but she can’t keep her hands off him.”

As they get closer, Michael begins to hear music through the open patio doors.  When the song changes to something slow he vaguely recognizes from some movie Isobel made him watch, he pauses.  Alex turns back with a frown when he realizes Michael is no longer next to him.

“Dance with me.”

“Here?”  Alex asks.

Michael nods and swings their joined hand out before stepping close to Alex and pulling his arm around his waist.  Alex takes the hint and holds Michael even closer, nuzzling his neck as they sway together.  After a few moments, Alex steps back and raises their hands, twirling Michael in a circle just like he’d done with Rosa earlier.  They both laugh when Michael stumbles when Alex tugs at his hand to pull him back into his arms.  Michael almost crashes into Alex’s chest, but Alex is a solid, steady weight that holds him up, protecting them both.

“Love you,”  Alex whispers into his ear as they resume their gentle swaying.

“Love you, too,”  Michael whispers back like it’s a secret and not the foundation of their lives together.  But in the quiet garden, dancing with Alex, bathed in moonlight, it feels like something secret and sacred, too precious to be spoken without care.

As the song winds down, Alex drops his hands from Michael’s waist, but Michael tightens his hold on Alex and sends a suggestion to the DJ to play another slow song.  As the music changes, but the beat remains the same, Michael meets Alex’s eyes and asks, “One more?”

Alex brings his hands up to frame Micheal’s face, thumbs stroking along his cheekbones.  As he leans in for a kiss, whispers against Michael's lips, "One more." 

[notsowrites]

Untitled 3x08 Malex Coda #3

Last one before tonight! Why I get inspired to write about these two first thing in the morning when I’m drinking my coffee is beyond me, but here’s some more soft Malex with a bit of fluff.

Enjoy! <3

----------

They head back inside not long after, the cold winter air nipping at Alex's skin. Maria is sitting up near the pool tables, cell phone pressed to her ear, and Alex focuses on the smile on her face, the absolute happiness he can see radiating off her. She looks up as they walk in, waving at them, but their presence is not enough to get her to end the call.

Michael is already back at the bar, leaning against it, knocking shoulders with Isobel, Liz sitting just on her other side. There's a bottle of wine between them, and two half-filled glasses.

"She's on the phone with your brother," Liz supplies as he joins them.

He nods. It's not new, this thing between his brother and Maria. But the two of them acting on the looks that he's known they've shared since high school certainly is.

Sliding into the open seat to Michael's right is easy enough, and it does wonders to get the weight off his hip for now. His fingers dig into the muscle of his leg, gently massaging it as he watches Michael slide another beer in front of him.

"You okay?"

Michael's voice is quiet, almost a whisper in the already quiet bar. The only other people here are people he loves, people he trusts. He nods.

"Just sore."

He goes for honesty, which seems to be the theme of the day for them, and watches as Michael's eyes dart to his leg and further down to where his prosthetic is beneath his jeans. There's nothing he can do right now, not until he's home and can take it off, remove the lining, and possibly soak in the bathtub to ease the tension in it. But that can wait, because being here, with the people he loves and cares about is more important.

It's the most important thing.

"We can leave," Michael replies, as if reading his thoughts, but Alex reaches out, slipping his hand into Michael's, and shaking his head.

Liz speaks up first, her eyes going from Michael to him, and back again. "You don't have to stay. Max is safe, thanks to you. We should take the win and enjoy tonight."

The fight leaves him at Liz's words, and he acquiesces, sliding off the stool, and stretching his leg, one hand on the back of the bar stool for balance. He can feel Michael's eyes on him, watching him, and for once he loves how it feels. It's so easy to reach out, to grab Michael's hand in his own and give it a reassuring squeeze, before he crosses the floor towards Maria.

"So your I guess it's our time vibes were only a couple weeks off, eh?" He hears Isobel ask behind him, but doesn't turn around to look at how Michael reacts, only hearing Liz's shocked gasp instead.

"Greg, hold on, hold on, Alex is here-" Maria turns towards him, pulling the phone away from her ear and wrapping her arms around him. He stumbles a bit, expecting the weight but miscalculating for how tired he is. She immediately pulls back, looking him up and down, assessing.

He presses a kiss to her cheek. "I'm fine, just tired. Michael and I are heading out, but I didn't want to leave without telling you."

She raises an eyebrow at him.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He feels his cheeks go warm, and shifts on his feet, not out of the soreness in his hip this time.

"You better," Maria laughs as she puts the phone back up to her ear, and Alex can immediately hear his brother, just can't make out the words. He watches as Maria smiles, a laugh escaping her lips as she looks back at him.

"Greg says it's about damn time."

With a bit of an eyeroll, he leaves the two of them to their conversation and turns back to the bar, surprised to find Michael is standing near the doorway. There's a feeling that blossoms in his chest, seeing Michael standing there, waiting, for him. And after spending the day together, Alex isn't ready for it to end.

"Can you take me home?"

The car ride is quiet, but not awkward. Alex pushes himself up against the passenger door, and shifts himself so he's staring at Michael as he drives. Something he hasn't done since they were teenagers when they'd get in Michael's truck and drive out to the desert - the only way after the toolshed they could find some time for themselves.

Michael's hat is sitting on the seat between them, and Alex brushes his fingers along the rim. He loves the cowboy look, even if it covers up Michael's curls. Because he really is in love with Michael Guerin any way you slice it.

His house is on a quiet side street outside town, the yard lights on thanks to their automatic timer, illuminating the terrace and the front door. He and Maria had strung them up one Saturday afternoon a few weeks after he'd bought the house, her claiming it needed some ambiance. She'd been the one to help him pick out the patio furniture, and start making the house into some place he could call home.

Michael pulls the truck into the driveway next to his SUV, and Alex reaches for the door handle, before he realizes the engine is idling. 

Does he want Michael to leave? He doesn't know. Today was a whirlwind for them - working together, talking, and Michael kissing him. As he'd pressed his face into Michael's shoulder earlier, he'd realized how much he missed this - missed Michael. There had always been something about the way it felt around him, when they weren't fighting, when they had a moment of quiet - an unexplainable calm that would fall over him. For the first time in years, he'd felt it again that morning, and then again later in the truck when Michael had touched his cheek.

He wouldn't label it an understanding, because it felt much deeper than that.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

But Michael makes no move to turn off the engine, so Alex tugs on that courage he'd used all day to tell Michael what he wanted. He'd never felt the need to put into words his every day actions - and perhaps part of that was his years in the Air Force, and the work he'd done that required a level of secrecy. But keeping Michael out of the loop recently hadn't done them, or their relationship, any favors. And he hated to see Michael so angry at him.

"Shut the engine off and come inside."

He watches Michael turn to him, eyes soft and beautiful, and Alex doesn't know sometimes, what to do with the way Michael makes him feel. He never has. If he was younger, if he was more agile than he is these days, he'd climb over onto Michael's lap and kiss him here in the truck. So instead he reaches over the cowboy hat, and slips his fingers under Michael's, tightening his grip.

"You sure?"

Alex nods. 

But Michael's hesitance doesn't end there, and follows him into the house. Alex coaxes him out of his jacket, his boots, and watches as he slowly walks into the living room, glancing around as if unsure of himself. And Michael has been here before, Michael's been here a lot over the years.

"You got rid of the cameras," he says, nodding up where the one above his bedroom door used to be.

The cameras were something he'd installed under the belief that he couldn't trust his father. There had always been that residual fear he would break in and try something to get one up on Alex. So the cameras had made him feel like he was being proactive, like his father couldn't sneak up on him if he had a system in place.

"Yeah, don't need them anymore." He doesn't want to talk about his dad. Not now. It's not that he wants to brush it under the rug and never speak of it, because he knows there are a lot of things they need to talk about. But Liz's words echo in his mind about taking the win today for what it is, and doing that means not focusing on something like his father.

"That's good," Michael says, his voice low, and Alex doesn't move, just stands still as Michael walks over to him, a smile pushing up on his lips. He feels Michael's hands on his face, palms against his cheeks and lets Michael kiss him.

He feels the scratch of Michael's beard and the soft press of his lips and Alex presses forward just a little, his hands moving to Michael's hips, bracing himself. The kiss is slow and gentle, and Alex feels like he's falling. There's no rush in either of their actions, Michael's fingertips lightly scratching at the nape of his neck, their noses bumping, and their foreheads end up pressed together as their lips separate.

"I want-" He pauses, pushing back just far enough so he can look up at Michael. He doesn't want to not be looking at him when he speaks. But he thinks of Michael's reluctance to come inside, and he thinks of the words Michael had once expressed to him about going where Alex wants, and he needs to make sure this is what Michael wants too. "Will you stay the night?"

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In the morning, he wakes up tangled up in Michael. There's no panic that sets in, no worry about one of them leaving, even if they haven't talked about the future yet. Because there's time for that now. And Alex knows, believes, they both want one together.

He opens his eyes to find Michael already awake, eyes open and watching him. It should be creepy, but instead all Alex feels is love.

"Morning," Michael says, leaning in and gently kissing his lips.

"Been awake long?"

Michael shakes his head. "I've never watched you sleep before. You always-" He cuts himself off and Alex can fill in the rest himself. He knows this story too.

Last night had been different though, from anything they'd ever done in the past. It felt like a new beginning for them, the way the whole day had. Michael had drawn the bath while Alex had gone through his nightly routine, finally getting the chance to remove his prosthetic. And as Alex had laid back in the tub, letting the hot water soothe his sore muscles, Michael had sat on the floor next to the tub, resting his head on his arm, and they'd just… talked.

Talked in a way they never had before. Alex had listened as Michael had finally told him everything he'd learned from Jones - from the white lies to the discovery of his own origins. He'd been unable to stop himself from taking Michael's hand as he talked about his mother, the way he'd started to doubt his own feelings about her, and the things she had done. Most shocking of all was when Michael asked to show him something, and Alex had just nodded before he was watching as Michael pulled a lighter out of his jeans and held the flame to the skin of his palm.

Instinct had him snatching Michael's hand, pulling it away from the flame - but his skin was perfect. The flame hadn't harmed him.

"I want to make you breakfast," Michael says instead.

Alex laughs, immediately burying his face into Michael's shoulder, because while a great idea, he doesn't exactly keep a fully stocked kitchen. Especially since he's a terrible cook himself, and restocking the fridge after his year spent cleaning up Project Shepherd messes hasn't been a huge priority.

"I'd like that except…" he lets his voice trail off, but leans up and kisses Michael. "I'm not sure there's much in the fridge to cook with."

Michael shakes his head, laughing, and Alex kisses him again, pulling himself up so he's leaning over Michael, his fingers stroking Michael's curls, gently tugging on the ends and watching as they spring back into place.

"Another time then."

Alex leans forward, their lips almost touching as he smiles. Because another time is a future they now have together. It's tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. "Tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"I don't want - I meant what I said all those months ago. About starting over. And-" He pauses, thinking about every night he's spent with Michael that ended with one of them leaving, the other never staying. "We've never had breakfast before."

They trade lazy kisses, neither of them able to stop smiling, and it's slow and perfect, and Alex thinks he could stay wrapped up in Michael Guerin forever. But he gets an idea, and it's a good one. And he knows Michael will be okay with it, that Michael will agree to it. Because now he knows Michael feels the same, that Michael wants the same things for them.

"Let's go to the Crashdown," he says against Michael's lips.

Michael pushes back, not away but enough so he's looking at Alex. And there's a flicker of something on his eyes, an old hurt resurfacing that Alex can see. Another thing they need to talk about.

"Like a date?"

Alex rolls his eyes, but kisses Michael again. "Like a date. Like two people having breakfast. I just - I want to do these things with you. I want us to be able to do these things."

"Okay, Manes," Michael replies, pushing up quickly and kissing Alex, like he can't get enough. "Let's go have pancakes."