delusionalwriter02 - Tumblr blog

[delusionalwriter02]

tomorrow I post another “text message” thing with BSD man, It seems to be your fav thing so let’s go 👀

[delusionalwriter02]

I haven’t been here for some while but hello!! How are you??

Don’t worry about the wait for some of our requests! Make sure to take a break and focus on your health! Don’t forget to drink some water!

~ 🎀

bow anon hi!!!!!!! i’m always so happy to see your messages 🥹 i’m doing much MUCH better, there is still rough days but i’m trying my best and that’s what’s important

you’re so sweet really thank you and I hope you’re alright!

I bought a bottle of 2 liters, my water intake is at MAXIMUM rn, (drinking enough water is making you pee every 5min i swear)

love you with my whole heart 🫶❤️

[delusionalwriter02]

I’m so sorry for the peoples waiting since february for their request, I’m trying my very best to write for all of you, hope you’re not too mad at me

[delusionalwriter02]

"Help me hide the corpses"

Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Chuuya x F!Reader

a/n : In the BSD universe, I just KNOW this would happens

[delusionalwriter02]

i’m on ep330 of one piece AND LET ME TELL YOU, the old man are HOT AF

[delusionalwriter02]

I'm trying to improve my layout but how do you get those pretty "separators"? the ones with the little flowers or something? i’m struggling🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[delusionalwriter02]

[delusionalwriter02]

The lovers that went wrong

Dazai x Chuuya / Angst / Dancing / I'm crying okay / Happy Ending

a/n : Please listen to "Youth" by Daughter while reading this, I wrote it listening to this song and it broke me even more

Chuuya's POV

I had returned to this now abandoned manor. The manor where we once lived happily with Dazai. Before everything exploded, before life left me burning with anger, burning to have had happiness between my fingers. Before, the house sang to itself, music accompanied us constantly, from sunrise to sunset, from tears to laughter, from dance to love to betrayal. I had come back to remember, perhaps to hurt myself even more than I already had. Nostalgia is the worst feeling of all.

I feel my heart sank as I remembered our last dance, a waltz. In the same room with the same radio. The same night Dazai fled, without a word. Today, I left him a message, an address, one that Dazai couldn't have forgotten, our house. I need to know, to understand, I can't let my heart bleed any longer.

Dazai's POV

I pushed open the gate, the hinges groaning in protest. The garden was overgrown, weeds reclaiming the space where once flowers had bloomed. Stepping onto the front porch, I paused, unsure of what awaited me inside.

With a deep breath, I pushed open the front door, the hinges squealing in protest. The interior was dimly lit, illuminated only by the faint moonlight filtering through dusty windows. My heart raced as I ventured further into the house, my footsteps echoing in the silence.

And there I saw him, Chuuya standing in the center of the living room, his gaze fixed on me with maybe a mixture of anticipation and apprehension.

"Dazai," Chuuya's voice was barely a whisper, yet it still echoed through the empty space between us.

My breath caught in my throat at the sight of my once, lover. "Chuuya," I replied.

Chuuya took a step forward, the shadows playing across his face. "Thank you for coming".

I studied Chuuya's features, seeing the face I used to kiss for hours. "You left a note," I began,"What is this about" ?

Chuuya hesitated, his eyes never leaving mine. "I needed to see you," he admitted.

My heart clenched. "Why now, why here ?"

Our gaze met, his eyes shimmering with tears. "Because this was where we were happy," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

I felt a pang in my chest.

"I needed to see you, Dazai," Chuuya continued, "To understand why you left."

I lowered his gaze. "My life in the mafia came to an end," I slowly began, the truth finally spilling from my lips. "I thought it was best to disappear."

Chuuya's eyes widened in disbelief, the hurt evident in his expression. "Disappear? Without a word ? Without even saying goodbye?"

I closed my eyes, I can't bear to look at him "I know I'm a bastard for leaving you like that," I finally admitted.

Chuuya's gaze was as hard as stone, "You could have told me."

"I thought it was for the best," I confessed, voice tinged with remorse. "I didn't want you to be dragged into my mess."

Chuuya reached out, his hand hovering between us. "You don't get to decide that for me," he said, his voice firm yet tinged with hurt.

I swallowed hard. "I know," I murmured, voice barely audible.

3rd POV

Chuuya's eyes bore into Dazai's, his gaze forever searching for answers. "Dazai," he began, his voice softer, "Do you want to dance one last time?"

Dazai's expression softened, he hesitated for a moment before nodding silently, his eyes never leaving Chuuya's.

Chuuya extended his hand, an invitation that carried the weight of a thousand final goodbyes. He accepted, their fingers intertwining like old friends reuniting after a lifetime apart.

They moved to the center of the ballroom, the faded grandeur of the space as a silent witness to their dance of farewell. Chuuya took the lead, guiding Dazai into the first steps of the waltz, the dance they had once known so intimately.

The distance between them seemed to melt away as they moved in perfect synchrony, their bodies silently speaking. Chuuya's touch was gentle yet tinged with sorrow.

Dazai's eyes never left Chuuya's. The walls they had built around their hearts began to crumble. Dazai's grip tightened slightly, as if trying to anchor himself in a moment that was slipping away.

"I miss this," Dazai whispered, his breath warm against Chuuya's ear.

Chuuya's heart clenched at the raw honesty in his past lover's words, the longing echoing in the hollows of the abandoned ballroom. "I miss you," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper.

The music played in their head swelled, enveloping them in a melancholic embrace. Chuuya closed his eyes, allowing himself to be swept away by the tidal wave of emotions that threatened to consume him.

"And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones," the lyrics resonated within Chuuya's very soul. Why couldn't he be happy ? Just happy. He didn't ask for much. Simply happiness.

Dazai pulled Chuuya closer, their bodies pressed together. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely audible.

Chuuya's eyes brimmed with tears, the pain resurfacing like a storm surge. "Why did you leave?" he asked, his voice trembling with emotion.

Dazai's embrace tightened, as if seeking refuge in Chuuya's warmth. "I thought it was the only way," he confessed, voice laced with regret. "But I was wrong."

Their dance slowed, Chuuya traced the curve of Dazai's jawline, committing every detail to memory, the feel of his touch, the warmth of his embrace.

"I never stopped loving you, Chuuya," said Dazai, his hands caressing the Chuuya's back "But I understand if you can't forgive me."

Chuuya met Dazai's gaze, "I don't know if I can," he admitted.

Dazai exhaled slowly, his gaze unwavering. "I don't expect you to".

As they danced, the walls of the ballroom seemed to echo with their regrets, their hearts beating in sync with the melancholic melody. Chuuya clung to Dazai as if trying to hold onto a fading dream, their bodies moving as one, despite the chasm that had grown between them.

Dazai pulled away slightly, his eyes searching Chuuya's face. "Can I kiss you ?" he asked, his voice tinged with desperation.

Chuuya pulled him closer, "Please, do."

Dazai placed his lips gently on Chuuya's. The world could have been burning and they wouldn't have noticed. Their hands lost themselves in each other's backs and necks, the tender kiss transformed into a battle of sadness and regret. They showed themselves vulnerable, for one night, one last dance.

Life never left them alone, they never rested, they just survived in a world that never wanted them.

But the sun came out again the day they saw the shard in each other. The shadow that would hide the horror of their lives. The world didn't want them, but they wanted each other.

Chuuya gripped Dazai's collar and brought his mouth close to his ear. "Come back. Don't let them win." Chuuya finally let his tears fall, something he had promised himself he would never do again. "Don't let me regret this life, if you still have even a little love for me, don't let me drown."

Dazai nestled his face in Chuuya's neck, "I never stopped loving you. But I won't go back to the Mafia, I promised Oda I'd become a better man.

"I'm not asking you to return to the Mafia. I'm asking you to come back into my life, not as an enemy but as the man who made me live."

"I believe I can do that."

I hope you liked it ? I love this couple but I fear in this one-shot they are a bit out of character buuuuuuttttt I really loved writing this

[delusionalwriter02]

heyyyaaaa sooooo

i'm kinda dating the entire bsd main cast except fukuchi, fukuzawa, mori, lemon explosives guy, natsume and the minors.

but anyway, i am OBSESSED with ur insta as ... gf thing like i have not had such a good giggle (to be COMEPLETLY honest i was rolling, kicking, screaming in my pillow, trying to hide my giggles but failing miserably and ma,ing a very ugly face)... but let's not get into that! 😅

so my point is can you pretty please 🥺 do a pt 3 for fedya and pt 2 for kolya?

mainly fyodor tho cuz he's kinda sorta very much my husband 🥰🥰🥰 cuz i'm a s.i.m.p and cuz i said so.

only if wanna that is!

Insta as Fyodor's GF p.3

a/n : DEAR I LOVE YOU ??? you're SO adorable and how can I say no ???? (i'm sure you're BEAUTIFUL), hope you'll like it!! <3

<3 liked by Atsushiii, Fyofyo and 638 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : and if you're still breathing you're the lucky one

Golgot : guess I'm lucky ??

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you can't appreciate art

↳ Golgot : I appreciate what I understand

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : oooh I understand now

↳ Golgot : what ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : why you're so bitter about everything

↳ Golgot : I'm not bitter ???

↳ Fyofyo : Oh you so are

↳ Atsushiii : agree

↳ Golgot : fuck off Atsushi go annoy someone else

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : @.Akutagawa come get your man

Yosanurgirl : omg babe the photo is SPLENDID

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I KNOW Sigma is great at thirdwheeling

↳ Yosanurgirl : oh poor man

<3 liked by Sig_ma, Gintonic and 395 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : money, money, money

Yosanurgirl : must be funny

↳ Gintonic : in the rich man worlllllllddddd

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : that's why I love you

↳ Sig_ma : why man ?

↳ Gintonic : it's a song

↳ Sig_ma : Thank you

↳ Gintonic : you're welcome.... I guess

Fyofyo : Anything for you dearest

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I LOVE you with my WHOLE heart

↳ Fyofyo : Me too angel

↳ Daze_i : sucker

↳ Fyofyo : Jealous ?

↳ Daze_i : I got a whole harem

↳ Fyofyo : Sure

↳ Daze_i : WDYM I DO HAVE AN HAREM

↳ Fyfoyo : Never said otherwise

↳ Chu_uya : Dazai please shut up

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Chuuuuuuuuuyyaaaa are you in this harem ?👀

↳ Chu_uya : NEVER

↳ Daze_i : of course he is

↳ Chu_uya : SHUT UP MORON

<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Gintonic and 538 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : We're setting fire to our insides for fun @.Yosanurgirl

Daze_i : you're doing what.......?????

↳ Yosanurgirl : it's from a song too idiot

↳ Daze_i : it's about smoking ?

↳ Yosanurgirl : it can

↳ Daze_i : omg stop being so mysterious

↳ Yosanurgirl : i'm not it's up to you

Ranthebestpo : YOSANO YOU BETTER COME AT THE AGENCY RN

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : talk better to my girl

↳ Ranthebestpo : stay out of it

↳ Fyofyo : Watch your mouth

↳ Ranthebestpo : watch yours

↳ Fyofyo : Excuse me ?

↳ Yosanurgirl : OKAY STOP IT RN

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Atsushiii and 738 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : you were riding your bike to the sound of it's no big deal

Gintonic : don't ask me why but i'm in love with this photo, it's calming

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : it's EXACTLY how I felt, no sound, just us

↳ Gintonic : that's the sweetest thing i've heard in a while

↳ Yosanurgirl : @.Fyofyo break up with her, I take over

↳ Fyofyo : In your dreams

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOSANO CMON

↳ Yosanurgirl : a wise man said one day "just because there's a keeper doesn't mean you can't score"

↳ Gintonic : gross

↳ Yosanurgirl : *wise

Golgot : Fyodor me too I can take you on ride

↳ Fyofyo : On my dead body

↳ Golgot : FUCK IT EVEN IN DEATH YOU WON'T DATE ME ???

↳ Fyofyo : I swear on everything I care about, I will NEVER date you

↳ Yn_theonenandonly : that's my man

↳ Daze_i : why is everybody trying to date the other

↳ Chu_uya : delusional bitches

↳ Yosanurgirl : i'm gonna fucking kill you

↳ Daze_i : NO I SAID I WILL

<3 liked by Gintonic, Akutagawa and 438 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my safe place @.Yosanurgirl @.Gintonic @.Fyofyo @.Kyôk_a

Kyôk_a : Thank you it was really fun

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : with pleasure

↳ Atsushiii : Kyôka it's great you're making friends outside the agency

↳ Ranthebestpo : Can't say it's a wise decision but it's your life

↳ Atsushiii : Ranpo please don't

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : wdym

↳ Ranthebestpo : nevermind

↳ Gintonic : better

Fyofyo : We should take Kyôka out more often

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : she's 14 love, I won't be taking her out everywhere

↳ Fyofyo : I know but like at the funfair, the beach, places where childs likes to go

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Are you having a baby fever ?

↳ Fyofyo : Maybe

↳ Yosanurgirl : OMG GIRL WHAT

Hey!!! Hope you liked it ? I'm trying to include Kyôka more because I love the character but she's a child soooooo I'm struggling a bit to write about her but anyway I hope it didn't seems to out of place

with love <3

[delusionalwriter02]

sooo Insta as Fyodor's GF p.3 will be out soon, the one-shot with Chuuya and Dazai is still in writing and the text message "thing" (i don't know how to call it) will be posted today

[delusionalwriter02]

I had my sports exams today, at the end of my choreography I fell and tore a muscle

what a day 🙄

[delusionalwriter02]

“I know your secret”

Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya, Yosano, Ranpo x F!Reader

a/n : hello!! I had this idea yesterday at like 2am I NEEDED to write it, hope you like it!

[delusionalwriter02]

if you're still doing the insta as ... gf series for bsd, can you please write it for either Gin or Kouyou

if not that's totally fine

I hope you have a good day (love the series)

Insta as Gin's GF

a/n : I LOVE Gin with my whole heart and I truly headcanon her being the QUEEN of sarcasm, hope you like it<3

<3 liked by Gintonic, Akutagawa and 574 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my sweet girl @.Gintonic

Yosanurgirl : she's such a stray cat in need of love

↳ Gintonic : what did you just say 🤨

↳ Yosanurgirl : nothing babe

↳ Ranthebestpo : you're the stray cat

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : cmon children don't start

↳ Yosanurgirl : girls tonight I wanna go to this club that just opened, want to join me ?

↳ Gintonic : don't ask me twice

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : i'm in

↳ Daze_i : me too 🤗

↳ Yosanurgirl : since when are you a girl ?

↳ Daze_i : I can protect you

↳ Chu_uya : coming too

↳ Yosanurgirl : fuck it

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Yosanurgirl and 329 others.

Gintonic : vip table 🥰

Yn_theoneandonly : don't forget the big scary dog privilege

↳ Daze_i : see ? it was a great idea to join

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : was talking about Gin...

↳ Daze_i : well, imma act like I never read that

FukuZAWA : you ate that up

↳ Ranthebestpo : LMFAO WHAT ??????

↳ KunikiDA : Boss ????????????????

↳ Yosanurgirl : I've just spat out ALL MY DAMN WATER

↳ Gintonic : babe @.Yn_theoneandonly your father learned how to use insta

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : went private

↳ Gintonic : healthy reaction

↳ FukuZAWA : ate and left no crumbs

↳ Daze_i : FOR THE LOVE OF ME STOP IT BOSS

↳ Ranthebestpo : it's not him, I refuse to believe it's him, Katai did something

<3 liked by Gintonic, Daze_i and 527 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : I found love, where it wasn't supposed to be

Akutagawa : that's gay

↳ Gintonic : wow thanks bro for describing my relationship, that's an act of pure intelligence and great reflexion, i'm so proud of you

↳ Akutagawa : no I wasn't talking about the photo, was talking about the quote

↳ Gintonic : just keep that stupid mouth of yours shut and you'll be fine

↳ Akutagawa : I can't tell you anything

↳ Gintonic : next time you wish to speak, think about it. redo the sentence AT LEAST 50 time in your head and if you think it's intelligent, stay quiet

↳ Yosanurgirl : ate that

Gintonic : I love you my little goblin

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : me too sweetgremlins

↳ Yosanurgirl : I LIVE for this type of cringe

↳ Gintonic : imma dismember you

<3 liked by Atsushiii, Ranthebestpo and 420 others.

Daze_i : they lost a bet @.Gintonic @.Yn_theoneandonly

Chu_uya : Gin you look atrocious

↳ Gintonic : run.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Dear Chuuya, I'm writing this message to say goodbye. You are indeed going to die. So I'd like to ask you to put me in your will, please. I promise to take care of your hat, not to curse your grave and to empty your bank account. Kiss

↳ Daze_i : HEY NO I'M THE HEIR

↳ Ranthebestpo : In what world are you his heir ?

↳ Daze_i : in every damn one, I'M THE ONE WHO ADOPTED HIM

↳ Yosanurgirl : 🤓☝️ actually this is not true

Gintonic : sweetgoblin @.Yn_theoneandonly, i may be late for our date, wait for me, the bastard runs fast

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : don't worry gremlins, i'll wait, want me to ask Dazai for help ?

↳ Gintonic : Higuchi is already here, i'll be fine

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : the feeling of soon-to-be-rich is exquisite

↳ Gintonic : i know 🥰

<3 liked by Gintonc, Yosanurgirl and 926 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my gf is prettier than you

Yosanurgirl : I supposed Chuuya paid for everything ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you're so clever !!!!

↳ Yosanurgirl : what happened ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : never underestimate Gin's stamina for a start, then Chuuya made a deal to..... not die, he pays for all our expenses for 1 month

↳ Yosanurgirl : @.Chu_uya can you insult me ?

↳ Chu_uya : I keep my fucking mouth shut now

↳ Gintonic : one time thing, sorry love

↳ Atsushiii : @.Akutagawa I swear Gin is scarier than you

↳ Daze_i : not hard to do

↳ Akutagawa : I stopped trying to understand her a while ago, you know.

FukuZAWA : girlboss

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Boss if you love me please stop

↳ KunikiDA : KATAI STOP IT

↳ Yosanurgirl : it's Katai ?

↳ KunikiDA : Yes.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : oh... it makes sense now

↳ Daze_i : I am disappointed

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : why ?

↳ Daze_i : thought the old man had finally loosened up

↳ Ranthebestpo : WELL IM GLAD HE DIDNT

Hey!!! I hope you liked it ? I had SO MUCH fun writing this, it's been a while since the last "insta as" and it feels soooo good to be finally back

with love <3

[delusionalwriter02]

Dazai: Self deprecating comment that asserts his own bias that he is not good/human and therefore his actions are to be questioned

Atsushi: Immediate empathetic response because he’s never questioned Dazai’s goodness/humanity

—

This is Dazai being surprised that Atsushi does not view him as the inhuman, removed identity that he portrayed for so long. Atsushi does not see Dazai the way himself and many others have always viewed him. Because of this, Atsushi has been able to reach Dazai in ways that nobody ever really has before.

[delusionalwriter02]

I’m so sorry to hear that! There’s no need to rush to post or anything of the sort. I hope your able to feel even slightly better soon.

~ 🎀

thank you so much dear, writing is in a way, my way of dealing with my emotions, I'm surrounded and I know that everything will work out in the end, I'm writing a poem for my friend and I don't know if I'll post it one day, she was a sunshine and I'm happy to have shared her life, that's how I want to remember her. She loved life, she was sociable and she brightened up other people's days, she was truly a sunshine, think i'll miss her forever but time will sort things out. For anyone who has lost a loved one, I tell you, time will heal you. The gaping hole in your heart may never close, but every day it will be easier to live with. The sun will shine again, I promise you.

[delusionalwriter02]

helloooo

i just checked out your new smau…it’s so cool!!!! your blog is filled with those insta and stuff from all our fav characterssssss lmao

hope you have a nice day!

anon 😗

hey love! thank you SO MUCH for your kind words, my blog is truly my safe place and writing about these characters is so so so comforting, I'm so happy to have found people who like what I do, so thank you!!

hope you have a nice day too <3

[delusionalwriter02]

and this week i'm getting a tattoo based on Baldur's Gate 3 because I can and I never cried THAT much playing a video game and my biggest issue it that i'm bi and it's so hard to actually try to romance someone, they're ALL gorgeous how can I just pick one ???? guess i'll do 10000 playthrough