#oh and if this has been done before plssss tell me lol i don’t wanna copy anyone on accident

[honimello]

okay but what if i wrote a phantom of the opera au where terzo is erik????? (and he’s evil but we like him so that’s ok)

[shijiujun]

history3 ep 9 summary - AKA SHAO FEI IS JEALOUS FOR 26 WHOLE MINUTES

GUYS YOU GONNA DIE OF LAUGHTER THIS EP OMFGGG WTF JUST HAPPENED?!!! although the jealousy was a bit much man

WE START OFF WHERE WE LEFT OFF LAST WEEK - OFFICE + ANDY

we start off with the massage scene again and oooh seductive andy’s tone as he tells tang yi to relax - nice hands and totally hypnotising YOU GO ANDY

bodydumb and shao fei teaming up is hilarious AND OMG so andy bends down to the floor like we all saw last week, and that’s when both bodydumb and shao fei literally gasp like HORRIFIED and just barge into the room to grab andy up and shao fei is all “what the fuck are you doing why are you crouching down what position is this?!”

CUE SLY ANDY JUMPING UP, POUTING AND THEN HIDING BEHIND TANG YI: “ah yi, this person is so fierce i’m so scared”

shao fei: “i’m now tang yi’s bodyguard and i feel that you’re dangerous and problematic so leave right now”

bodydumb at shao fei: “hey why are you snatching my job?!”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE BOTH OF YOU, AM I BACTERIA?!” - ANDY at shao fei and bodydumb WTF HAHAHAHAHA

omg andy is squatting down on purpose to fuck with them I LOVE HIM

THE NEXT SCENE - they move to the restaurant and geez where is andy GIVE ME MY ANDY but anyway SHAO FEI IS TOTES ANGRY AT TANG YI AND THEY’RE AT THE RESTAURANT AND OMG BODYDUMB YOU HAVE BEEN UPGRADED TO BODYGUARD HE TOTALLY SAW THE ATMOSPHERE AND WAS LIKE ALRIGHT TIME TO FUCKING EXIT instead of sitting around and watch th both of them

omgggggg shao fei is so jealous he’s eating so damn hard and noisily and tang yi is just laughing at him and he CHOKES HE FUCKING CHOKES because he’s eating so damn hard and angrily and tang yi just laughs at him he can’t take it anymore

tang yi insists that they’re friends - shao fei is like: “what kind of friends? there are the ones that go for karaoke, the friends that you exercise with.... and then then kind that do the OTHER kind of exercise, which kind are you guys?!” and after a while of him just talking tang yi interrupts him and goes: “are you trying to understand or are you jealous?”

SHAO FEI, WITHOUT HESITATION: “BOTH!!!!”

and then he denies it as he mutters to himself, and just look at how gleeful and happy tang yi is wtaf and then shao fei goes on and on about how andy has a boyfriend and what if his boyfriend came to find trouble with you? you already have so many enemies, now you want to add on another love-enemy?”

tang yi: “you’re thinking too much”

shao fei goes on as if he didn’t hear him: “you never know, things are crazy nowadays, did you see the news?!!!! etc. etc. especially because you’re so charismatic?!”

and tang yi just takes the praise in stride it’s amazing - and then because shao fei is so damn angry tang yi i think purposely picks up shao fei’s coke and drinks it with the spicy dish they’re having, and as expected, shao fei pauses in his tirade and goes: “hey, you’re drinking coke now?”

and tang yi NODS

OMFGGGGG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - TANG YI IS SWEET!!! and shao fei spoils the moment (or makes it better, it’s up to interpretation): “you’re drinking my saliva (from the coke)”

OMGGGGG THE LADDER BODYGUARD DUDE IS QUITE HANDSOME TOO NO?!!!!

JACK is totally jealous that zhao zi is touching some other dude’s pecs and man-boobs, so he’s totally like come touch mine zhao zi don’t touch that old man’s!!!!

jack: “if you want, you can come check mine (muscles)”

he’s totally flirting, but zhao zi is like: “okay! you promised, no take backs, you can’t be shy on me later” 

jack: “me? i think you’re the one who will be scared” (BECAUSE THEY ARE THINKING OF DIFFERENT THINGS)

zhao zi: “this is nothing, back in the academy, i’ve even seen guys butt naked etc. etc.” - dear lord zhao zi you’ve got no idea, you’ve got NO IDEA HOW MUCH jack is thirsting over ur ass

more zhao zi and grandma backstory: SNIFFLES grandma died in his second year of police academy and paid for his education, but didn’t live to see him graduate, and i SWEAR IF JACK DIDN’T ALR LOVE HIM HE DOES NOW?! 

OMG ZHAO ZI CAN U BE MORE STEADY THAT WASN’T LIKE A FLIMSY LADDER?! anw they fall into the pool like in the trailer and omg i love them, and because jack is wearing a white see-through shirt which is totes translucent when he stands up from the pool and zhao zi is totally drooling at his man-boobs and then jack goes: “you’re kidding, you want to check now?!”

HONG YE walks past with Dao Yi, she’s here to discuss smth with Tang yi and waiting for him to come back and then she sees Jack and Zhao Zi in the pool and is like WTF - zhao zi recognises her face from interviews and tv that she’s done (probably for the company etc.) and intros himself as a police and then she ‘s like HMPH WTF and then stomps into the house

LOL - “HONG YE LOOKS LIKE MY GRANDMA” - ZHAO ZI QUOTE OF THE YEAR he’s damn lucky hong ye wasn’t in earshot when he said that she would have DESTROYED HIM

i wanna explain more about hong ye and glasses guy dao yi but i’ll do that after i get this out in full - in any case, she wants him, he obviously likes her, but refuses to be her boyfriend because he is having a dilemma, considering that he’s watched her grow up and also protected her since she was younger in a sense, he’s finding it hard to decide whether to treat her as his charge or a woman that can be his girlfriend

LOLOLOLOL

OMGGGG HOT DOCTOR?!!!!!!!! 

tang yi: “we’re here because i need to repay a debt”

shao fei: “what debt? why must you do it here?”

HOT DOCTOR POPS UP: “because there’s a bed~” - wow hot doctor way to go way to make shao fei go even more mad and jealous

OMFG - SHAO FEI’S EYES WHEN TANG YI STRIPS OFF CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH FLIES ARE GONNA GO IN

OMFGGGGGGGGGG SHAO FEI PLSSSS

you guys can imagine what happens inside and what shao fei hears before barging in, things like “oh this is my first time, am i using too much force? etc. etc.” - of course, of course 

after shao fei barges in, gapes at tang yi, tang yi shooing him off cutely like he would his husband or lover, and then shao fei stomping out-

doctor dude at shao fei: “wow, wasn’t he a bit too angry?” - YEAH DOC YOU DON’T SAY

HE’S STILL ANGRY OMG SHAO FEI - “is your body meant for other people to touch?!!!!”

OH JESUS BASICALLY TANG YI SHRUGS OFF HIS JACKET AND PUFFS UP HIS CHEST AND GOES: “here you go, you wanna touch?!!!”

good on you shao fei, you didn’t take the bait like zhao zi did - he stomps into the house, goes to the fridge, grabs a drink, and then while pouting and obviously jelly still, he presses the drink to tang yi, and tang yi SMILES omgggg he’s killing me with his smiles

omg poooooor bodyguard - he thinks tang yi doesn’t know that shao fei likes him, so he’s trying to tell tang yi that shao fei has other motivations against him aka shao fei is lusting over him, but tang yi already knows?!!! tang yi tells bodyguard that if he cannot control himself, he’ll transfer him out of the house

OH SHIT: bodyguard goes outside, idk who the hell he is talking to but he says over the phone - “hey, it’s me, do you have time to meet?” - he’s definitely meeting a bad person, it could be hong ye but at this point it doesn’t look like it but it could be anyone’s guess

scene at tang yi’s office - he feels the tension between hong ye and dao yi, and basically she wants to make dao yi jealous and mad, so when dao yi suggests a project for tang yi to do, she steps in and goes: “i don’t think we should spend so much money on the project, can you loan me some people and i’ll do a site visit myself to check?”

and then she sees shao fei buddying up with the guy outside - LOL SHAO FEI LEGIT IS GANGSTERBAIT?!!!! EVERYONE ELSE LOVES HIM AND HE’S FRIENDLY W EVERYONE I HOPE

she sees him and she’s like: “i’ve been really good haven’t i? then i wanna go shopping, i want officer meng to guard me while i shop”

and dao yi is like GASPS: “no, miss, i’ll-”

hong ye: “it’s such a waste for a policeman like him to just stay in here doing nothing, he might as well protect me”

shao fei in the end, even though he protests a bit, but - omggggg the way shao fei listens to tang yi without much argument i love it, tang yi says that protecting hong ye is like protecting her, so shao fei smiles, nods, and goes, but not before saying to hong ye: “what is the worst that could happen (on the trip)?” - WOW FORESHADOWING, GOOD JOB SCRIPTWRITERS FINALLY ON THIS PART

i kind of liked this scene because it shows us the hong ye-shao fei sibling rivalry dynamic - challenging, but healthy challenging rather than heated, harsh barbs aimed to murder each other

okay at this point: we can CONFIRM more or less that the person on the photo isn’t glasses guy Dao Yi, because right after hong ye and shao fei leaves, tang yi is very friendly and warm towards dao yi: “if you won’t promise her, you can’t blame her for treating you like this”

dao yi: “it’s not that i won’t, it’s that i can’t”

tang yi: “if you think too much, you’ll just hurt each other”

it ends there - so GUYS we know we have the shooting tmr and hong ye’s shady scene, i really don’t think hong ye is evil at this point, but she could be doing something she thinks is in tang yi’s and the organization’s best interests, but is doing more harm than good - during the earlier scene in the ep w her and dao yi, dao yi mentions that she shouldnt be so concerned with how other ppl will view Xing Tian Meng and whether they would wanna do business with them because their company and the organization is all legal and clean now, so there’s no matter - but then hong ye replies: “that’s only when we’re FULLY legal and clean, not now” - it’s strange that she would make such a distinction, so i guess she is doing something shady but not totally evil, and my take is that when shao fei gets hurt for it, she feels guilty 

or she could be the person bodyguard is meeting?!!!

OR MAYBE I’M THINKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS GUYS

[yumsomanyparts]

answers to brizzy’s hp video ??

soooo brizzy posted this ‘26 UNSOLVED Harry Potter Questions! ft Tessa Netting’ video to her channel and i felt like i had to answer some of these questions lmao so here goes:

1. what power do boggarts have? i’m not sure how it goes in the books because it’s been a while since i’ve read prisoner of azkaban but in the movie, lupin said that as the dementor is in fact a boggart, it can do no real harm, but it did make harry faint. i’m not sure how it’d be for snakes/spiders/other venomous things though. maybe it can just bite you but without the venom?? anyway good question! 2. why can’t harry see thestrals after he kills quirrell with his bare hands/why doesn’t he see them in his first year since he saw his mother die? for me the movies are not canon so i’ll just take the answer from the books, in which he fainted, simple as that. for his mother; i believe jo once said you have to acknowledge the death and accept it, and baby harry was too young to register what was happening, so even though he probably saw it happen, he was too young to realise what was going on. he also didn’t see the thestrals at the end of his fourth year, even though he saw cedric die, because he was still very traumatised and didn’t accept cedric was actually dead. 3. what rights do muggle parents have? I DON’T KNOW AND I WANNA KNOW AS WELL! i also always wondered how the dursley’s sent harry’s christmas ‘gifts’ to hogwart?? like, did they use an owl?? anyway i suppose for the diagon alley thing, i think it was once stated that muggleborns are accompanied by a witch or wizard to buy all their school supplies also when brizzy talks about marrying a muggle.. hmmmm i don’t know?? imagine if you’re a person that has a lot of flings that only last for a few weeks or a couple of months, you can’t possibly tell every partner that you’re magic? lol. i suppose for families it’s different, since dudley also knew about harry. also can wizarding law prosecute muggles for talking about witches/wizards?? 4. the eleven thing most people start showing their first magical signs at the age of 5, but i think british children go to secondary school at the age of 11 so i guess hogwarts ‘chose’ that age so it tallies with muggleborns or wizards who chose to go to muggle elementary school. also maybe you’re magical skills are fully ‘grown’(??) at the age of 11? 5. to what extent do muggle governments know about the wizarding world? i genuinely think it’s just the muggle prime minister who knows about it, and if anything happens in the magical world that muggles need to be concerned of, they just bring it out without full details (like when sirius black was on the muggle news but they didn’t tell which prison he escaped from) 6. the magical government in general i think it’s just people who are important in the ministry of magic who can say ‘we want them as our new minister of magic’ and they ask that person and when they refuse (like dumbledore) they ask the second idk. good question hmmm 7. peter pettigrew i know in the movies they show peter pettigrew on the map, but as i said before, i don’t consider the movies to be canon, since harry also performed magic at his house during the summer holidays in prisoner of azkaban. so, there’s this theory that says you can’t see animagi on the map unless you know they are animagi. for instance, lupin saw peter pettigrew on the map, but harry didn’t, and neither did the twins. besides that, gryffindor tower is a TOWER. at night, all the name labels would be on top of each other, so you couldn’t possibly make out all the individual names. and i imagine the twins not knowing the name, so even if they did see it appear once in a while, they maybe just didn’t pay any attention to it. also i don’t think they used the map a lot when ron came to school, because they already knew it by heart :P 8. transfiguration the only thing i can say here is: ANIMAL ABUSE. but i think to the animal it’d be like sleeping; you’re not aware it happened, so you just wake up and suddenly maybe 10 years have passed, like tessa said :’). i’m also with brizzy that when the spell didn’t work properly is because scabbers was actually pettigrew. but also; i can’t exactly remember how this scene happened in the books :) :) what i always wondered though; in the first book mcgonagall transfigures her desk into a pig and back; what about the pig’s soul/connsciousness? does it have a baby mind, is it immediately an adult? does it even have a soul?? hmmmmm???? 9. what do wizard kids do before they get their hogwarts letter i’m not sure this was stated in the books or in an interview, but i read somewhere that a lot of wizard kids go to muggle school or are homeschooled. but i feel like a lot of wizarding children would be illiterate since it’s not obligatory ?? so the system sucks a bit, like a lot of wizarding systems do lol 10. timeturners LET’S NOT EVEN START ON TIME-TURNERS LMAO (possible cursed child spoilers here!!) on pottermore it is said that it is too dangerous to use a time-turner for more than 5 hours at once, so you couldn’t use them for all situations. it is also extremely hard to get one, because you need all these forms and blah blah, like when hermione needed one for her lessons she had to show her grades and all that, so i suppose you couldn’t just say “hey let’s kill voldemort using a time-turner” idk. also good thing they were all destroyed in order of the phoenix because I HATED THEM and then they brought them back in cursed child URGHGHGH. also i probably watched too much doctor who but if time travel isn’t done right it makes me angry, like when brizzy said; they heard the axe but it happened to be a pumpkin so wtf?? if they hadn’t used the time turner it would have suddenly been buckbeak’s head?? idk thinking about it stresses me out because it CREATES A FRIGGIN PARADOX !!!!!!! imagine you go back in time to kill voldemort, but when you are on the scene he gets killed so you don’t have to go back in time IT’S A FRIGGIN PARADOX MAKE IT STOP 11. the department of mysteries I NEED ANSWERS AS WELL I NEED A SEVEN PART BOOK SERIES ON THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES. IF NEEDED, JUST GIVE ME A BOOK PER DOOR IN THE CIRCULAR ROOM I WOULD READ THEM ALL PLSSSS I’M BEGGING YOU 12. the veil?? yess the veil wtaf. okay it’s been a while since i’ve read order of the phoenix but as far as i can remember, sirius wasn’t hit with avada kedavra but he just fell through the veil ?? i’m not entirely sure though :o so i think the veil is just a portal to the afterlife but if you decide to walk through it you’d die as well. idk that’s my theory of it. 13. what happens when a ghost goes through the veil hmmmmm good question! i can relate to what brizzy said that it’s the only way of going on to the afterlife but since the department of mysteries is supposed to be a secret ghosts don’t know about it?? or maybe it allows them to travel from one world to another. i’d like the first theory best though lol 14. why doesn’t harry talk to sirius through the mirror believe me i’ve been asking myself the same question for YEARS. this still bothers me SO MUCH. “cuz harry’s dumb” YAS he is so dumb like SIRIUS WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF YOU HAD USED THE MIRROR i honestly want to punch something every time i think about this 15. ball point pens AESTHETIC Y’ALL 16. glasses because they make harry look smart even though he is not smart at all. nah kidding idk?? the only people in the wizarding world that are known to wear glasses are harry, james, dumbledore, moaning myrtle, rita skeeter and mcgonagall (i’m probably forgetting some so correct me if i’m wrong), which makes ZERO sense to me. there probably is an eye-fixing spell though, otherwise more people would wear glasses? anyway i genuinely have no idea 17. peeves in philosopher’s stone one of the ghosts says “he’s not even a ghost” so there is a difference between ghosts and poltergeists. also i believe while the other ghosts are transparent, peeves has colour i think?? he wears a bonnet at some point, so does that make him solid? plothole probs because he can float through walls. but yes i think he is born as a poltergeist, apart from that, no idea 18. straps for wands brizzy’s reaction to this is literally me lmao. 19. crimes/aurors aurors are also called ‘dark wizard catchers’ so i think their job specifically is to catch dark wizards. but i think the definition of dark wizard reaches a bit further than just death eaters, so they’d probably also arrest thiefs and stuff. plus the wizarding community is pretty small in comparison to the muggle world so they probably don’t need all these ‘divisions’ in law people (idk the proper word lol) 20. why do they put wizards on trial instead of just using veritaserum because if you got a strong mind, you can fight the veritaserum, like harry fought the imperius curse. this was even in the books i think 21. wizards and christianity godric’s hollow is not a full wizard town, hogsmeade is the only one :) there just happen to live a lot of wizards in godric’s hollow. but the church was probably built by the muggles. for christmas/easter. i never really thought about this but i don’t think pureblood wizards are particularly religious. like tessa said, maybe they just thought ‘oh what a fun holiday let’s steal it’ lol. 22. how do you create a horcrux YES PLEASE I JUST NEED ALL THE ANSWERS 23. pensieves they’re so mysterious omg!! but i also think you just have like a general idea of the memory or like a title, but the whole specific memory is in the bottle? 24. wizarding population jo has stated that this is something she didn’t think through because there are only like 8 gryffindor students in harry’s year ?? even though there are indeed around 1000 students at hogwarts. maybe less babies were created during the first wizarding war? idk lol but in general i have no idea! i don’t think it’s very common tbh! 25. felix felicis it is incredibly hard to make and could be extremely dangerous if done wrong i believe. also doesn’t it take like 6 months to make?? of course an emergency stash would be handy but that could also get stolen by death eaters so i think it’s safest to just not make it in big doses lol 26. portraits this is actually on pottermore! for the headmaster portraits it is said that a portrait of the new headmaster is like placed in a dark room or something and the headmaster just talks to their portrait so it knows how they think and speak and all that. but i think it is also mentioned that all magical portraits do have some basic conversational skills. idk how painting a magical portrait goes though; imagine you’re peacefully painting severus snape and as soon as you’ve done the mouth it starts talking to you?? lol

yayyyy this took me over an hour to do!!! so please appreciate it lmaooo. this is all off the top of my head so correct me if i’m wrong please :D i also have a ton of random questions myself but this post is already way too long so i will spare you those lmao.