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technowoah · 3 years

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Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

#mcyt blurb #mcyt angst #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt headcanons #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur soot blurb #wilbur x reader #irl wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot angst #mcyt x you #mcyt imagines #mcyt x y/n #wilbur soot x you

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the-fangirl-diaries · 3 years

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50 Thoughts I Had While Watching Eragon (2006)

*Grabs popcorn, pillows and blankets and is all comfy.*

1. Ah, yes. The one man’s voice that everyone wishes they had besides Morgan Freeman’s and James Earl Jones’.

2. Galbatorix? Sounds like a cough medicine, or some weird flavour of soup. Thanks Nostalgia Critic

3. Well, at least Rumple’s still got his magic, though and instead of the dagger - Man, that guy needs a good ol’ manicure. And probably a haircut.

4. Eragon reminds me of a young and British Luke Skywalker.

5. “The king's strip. The best cut there is. The fat just melts into the meat.” An actual quote by a passionate butcher.

6. I've only known Brom for a day and a half, but if anything happens to him....

7. Two boys get into a fake sword fight and proceed to wrestle like kids. How cute.

8. And you never see Roran again.

9. OH, SWEET HOLY COW! THE STONE IS HATCHING! Be cool, be cool!

10. *jumps back* Woah! Durza! Gimme a headphone warning next time you decide to scream at the top of your lungs like that! Jeez! I had it on full blast.

11. “I swear to everything on this green earth, I would pay Jeremy Irons to read my grocery lists!” Totally not me.

12. Rachel Weisz is Saphira? I KNEW her voice was familiar. *squeals*

13. Eragon, let me explain something to you: You can’t just sneak into people’s houses, it’s not just bad manners, it’s COMMON SENSE, DUDE!

14. I know you’re mad at Saphira because you couldn’t save your uncle, but if she’d allowed you to warn him, you would be dead and so would she, then the movie would have been a whole lot shorter.

15. No time to say goodbye, you have to leave with the dragon man now.

16. There’s no need to get defensive. How was Brom supposed to know that you were seventeen? You look twelve!

17. Aww, is Dad embarrassing you, Eragon? Then you should have known better than to challenge him.

18. Now we know who started the fire. Not Ryan

19. Angela’s pretty and I would love to have my fortune told, but Eragon, don’t you do ANYTHING you’re told?! It’s like we constantly have to keep an eye on you.

20. Ooh! We’re learning some words in the Ancient language now? Cool! *brandishes pencil and misspells every word*

21. Wait, we’re flying again? I mean, sure, I almost died the last time, but why not?

22. When did he have time to make a saddle? They’ve been traveling all this way. Magic, I guess?

23. Makes sense why the man is so protective of you and Saphira. He was a Dragon Rider!

24. Morzan? That’s a better name than I could ever come up with.

25. “Congratulations. You've just been promoted.” An actual quote by Durza who should just do the work himself instead of relying on these dunderheads.

26. Sweet Dreams are made of these! Who am I to....

27. “Help me Eragon, you’re my only hope.” ~ Arya, probably.

28. He came all this way and now you’re turning him away? Don’t you wanna get away from the crazy psycho who watches you while you sleep?

29. Wait, how did Brom get here so quickly? His dad instincts must be kicking in because that’s real speed, I tell ya.

30. THIS IS WHY I DON’T GET ATTACHED TO CHARACTERS. THEY ALWAYS DIE!!!

31. Actual footage of admin when Saphira carries Brom over the mountain and there’s a ghost of a smile on his face as he takes his final breath:

32. Oh, yeah. In case we forgot, Arya’s been poisoned by Durza’s magical demon nails. It’s too bad there isn’t someone who can lead you to the Varden.

33. There is no way that this boy was in Tron and in that Pan movie with Hugh Jackman. PUBERTY HIT HIM LIKE A FLIPPING ASTEROID! Cue Murtagh simping hours.

35. Look at that Djimon Hounsou in another dragon movie. Except this time, he’s a good guy.

36. Of course he’s Morzan’s son. No one can be 100 percent good and be that good looking.

37. “You wanna know how I got this scar?” ~ Murtagh, maybe. But sweet precious boy, what did he do to you?

38. “Tonight, we destroy the resistance.” Okay, Palpatine - I mean Durza.

39. So Nasuada gets only thirty seconds of screen time? Does anyone else feel robbed besides me? Yeah? (Added after reading the books.)

40. Arya’s healed nicely and now she’s ready to kick some butt!

41. How come I’m only finding out now that Durza has a dragon, too? Or...no, it’s made of dust or something.

42. My mans is still in jail? While all of this is going on? Guys, let him outta there. You can always put him back afterwards.

43. NO, PLEASE DON’T LET SAPHIRA DIE. I SWEAR MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT! AND SHE’S BEING SO SWEET, TOO! *sobbing increases*

45. Ah, waking up after a severe injury/concussion with Murtagh leaning over me? Sounds like my kind of morning.

46. YAY! SHE’S OKAY. I AM SO HAPPY.

47. Yes, Eragon, Brom, your father would be proud of you. *sniffles*

48. Where’s Arya going? I thought they were gonna be together forever. Guess not, eh? She is a princess after all.

49. Okay, I am convinced. Lemme go and read the-WAIT! THE KING HAS A DRAGON, TOO? IS THERE GONNA BE A SEQUEL? AHAHAHDBABDB

50. Keeeeep Holding onnnnnn! I don’t know why they put an Avril Lavigne song in here, but I am not complaining.

The End. This took me an hour or so to write, but it’s worth it. Also, I’m sorry if it’s so long, I’ve had a lot of thoughts.

#inheritance cycle #eragon #eragon movie #saphira #murtagh morzansson #christopher paolini #books

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palettes-and-prompts · 5 years

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100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

#Dialogue prompts #100 prompts #100 first meetings #first meetings #dumb #dialogue #writing prompts #writing #most of these are just stupid #sorry leos #lightly nasty #lots of swearing #prompts

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your-dietician · 3 years

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Best Prime Day, Day 2 tech deals 2021 at Amazon

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Best Prime Day, Day 2 tech deals 2021 at Amazon

We may receive commission from purchases made via links on this page. Pricing and availability are subject to change.

TVs and headphones and laptops, oh my! These Prime Day deals are off the charts. (Photo: Yahoo Life)

Spent the first day of Prime Day not sure what to pick up? You’re in luck! Prime Day — Day 2 is now in full swing and the discounts are even deeper. So take advantage of these Prime Day tech deals.

Take out your wish list and check it twice. What have you been waiting on? Now’s the moment to grab it, whether it’s that big-screen TV, that cushy pair of headphones or that new smart home device. These price drops are epic.

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Read on for the Prime Day — Day 2 tech deals calling your name.

Best TV deals

Not a typo: Just $100 gets you a top-rated HDTV! (Photo: Amazon)

This deal seems too good to be true…but it ain’t! Amazon has one of its top-selling TVs, the Insignia 24-inch Smart HD TV — Fire TV Edition, on sale for just $100 for Prime members only!

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“I am honestly very pleasantly surprised with how much I like this TV,” wrote a delighted shopper. “As far as clarity goes, I believe 720p is plenty for this screen size…. I have been very pleased with the Wi-Fi reception of the built-in Fire TV. It actually works a lot better than the USB-plug-in external fire sticks, for whatever reason.”

Shop more TV deals below:

Insignia 24-inch Smart HD TV — Fire TV Edition, $100 (was $170), amazon.com

Insignia 39-inch Smart HD TV — Fire TV Edition, $180 (was $250), amazon.com

Insignia NS-43DF710NA21 43-inch Smart 4K Ultra HD — Fire TV Edition, $220 (was $320), amazon.com

Toshiba 43-inch 43C350KU C350 Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Fire TV, $260 (was $370), amazon.com

Insignia 55-inch NS-55F301NA22 F30 Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Fire TV, $350 (was $500), amazon.com

Sony X80J 55-inch 4K Ultra HD LED Smart Google TV, $748 (was $800), amazon.com

Sony X80J 65-inch 4K Ultra HD LED Smart Google TV, $898 (was $1,000), amazon.com

Best headphone and earbud deals

Story continues

Good thing you don’t already own these — you’d never hear us shouting about what a great deal this is. (Photo: Amazon)

Sometimes, we get really lucky, and a big name drops the price on luxe headphones for Prime Day. Well, this is one of those times! These wireless Sony WH-CH710N Noise-Canceling Headphones are on sale for just $78 — that’s a whopping $122 off! Don’t you feel whopped? Shop now and save 61 percent — this is the lowest price we’ve ever seen on these top-rated cans!

The wireless headphones feature the crisp, clear audio you expect from Sony. Their Dual Noise Sensor Technology blocks out nearly all background and ambient distractions. No humming from your air conditioner or thrum from the washing machine — it’s just you and your music! Any birthdays coming up? These make an impressive gift (they’ll think you spent a fortune).

“The Sony headphones are perfect. They sync easily and the sound is clear,” raved a solace-seeking husband and dad. “The noise-canceling feature is great and often annoys my wife and kids when I can’t hear them. These are very comfortable….The charging is quick and the battery life is very good.”

Shop more headphone and earbud deals below:

Echo Buds, $80 (was $120), amazon.com

Apple AirPods Max, $522 (was $549), amazon.com

Apple AirPods Pro, $190 (was $249), amazon.com

Beats Solo Pro Wireless Noise Cancelling On-Ear Headphones, $170 (was $300), amazon.com

Bose Noise Cancelling Wireless Bluetooth Headphones 700, $229 (was $399), amazon.com

Sony WF-1000XM3 Noise Canceling Wireless Earbuds, $148 (was $230), amazon.com

Sony WF-SP800N True Wireless Sports In-Ear Noise-Canceling Headphones, $88 (was $199), amazon.com

Beats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones, $120 (was $200), amazon.com

Apple AirPods with Wireless Charging Case, $160 (was $199), amazon.com

Powerbeats Pro Wireless Earphones, $145 with on-page coupon (was $200), amazon.com

Sennheiser Momentum True Wireless Bluetooth Earbuds, $149 (was $300), amazon.com

Samsung Galaxy Buds Plus, $85 (was $150), amazon.com

Jabra Elite Active 65t Earbuds, $60 (was $100), amazon.com

Best gaming deals

FYI: This RPG features lots of DLC, and at just 15 bucks for three games, it’s a pretty BFD. (Photo: Amazon)

It’s time to join a mayhem-fueled thrill ride — at 70 percent off! In Borderlands Legendary Collection for Nintendo Switch, you’re whisked away to the planet Pandora, where you’ll be tasked with stopping the Calypso twins from getting all the bandit clans together and claiming ultimate power in the galaxy. Shoot, loot and role-play your way through the high-stakes action and collect a whole boatload of gadgets along the way.

This is the Legacy Edition, which includes all three games and DLC (downloadable content), is packed with new missions and stories, and more pillaging and power-ups.

“It’s so awesome to be able to play Borderlands on a handheld system,” raved a delighted gamer. “After about 100 hours in each game so far, All three run silky smooth with no hiccups. The gameplay is just how I remember it on the xbox 360 and I love it. I highly recommend this collection…”

Shop more gaming deals below:

Luna Gaming Controller, $49 (was $70), amazon.com

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare (PS4), $16 (was $40), amazon.com

Sid Meier’s Civilization VI (PC), $35 (was $60), amazon.com

Mafia: Definitive Edition (PS4), $20 (was $40), amazon.com

BioShock: The Collection, $15 (was $50), amazon.com

NBA 2K21 (Xbox Series X), $20 (was $70), amazon.com

Godfall (PS5), $40 (was $70), amazon.com

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Nintendo Switch), $48 (was $60), amazon.com

Runmus Gaming Headset, $20 (was $43), amazon.com

Madden NFL 21: Next Level Edition (Xbox Series X), $21 (was $70), amazon.com

The Falconeer: Day One Edition (Xbox Series X), $22 (was $40), amazon.com

Outriders Day One Edition (PS5), $40 for Prime members only (was $60), amazon.com

Immortals Fenyx Rising (PS5), $30 (was $60), amazon.com

Best smartphone and tablet deals

Normally we’d never yell “Fire!” in a crowded website, but….”YOU’VE GOT TO GRAB THIS FIRE HD 8 FOR JUST $45!” (Photo: Amazon)

How ’bout another half-price sale? Coming right up! On sale for $45 (was $90), the Fire HD 8 has a brilliant eight-inch HD display and works with Amazon Prime Video and Amazon Music as well as hundreds of social media apps, games, and more. With its 10-hour battery life, this baby supports binge-watching.

“This HD 8 boots up extremely fast. The screen movement is very smooth,” wrote a delighted tablet user. “I own an HD 10 but I like this better because the size makes it easier to hold and maneuver…. I had a concern about the sound quality, but the sound quality is very good. The charge time is fast and the battery holds a charge for a long time.” And the price? Ridiculous.

Shop more smartphone and tablet deals below:

Fire HD 8 Plus, $65 (was $110), amazon.com

Fire HD 10, $80 (was $150), amazon.com

Fire HD 10 Plus, $110 (was $180), amazon.com

Kindle, $55 (was $90), amazon.com

Kindle Paperwhite, $80 (was $130), amazon.com

Kindle Oasis, $185 (was $250), amazon.com

Apple iPad (10.2-inch, Wi-Fi, 32GB), $299 (was $329), amazon.com

Moto G7 Plus, $140 (was $250), amazon.com

TCL 10 Pro Unlocked Android Smartphone, $295 for Prime members only (was $400), amazon.com

Ulefone Note 9P smartphone, $145 with on-page coupon (was $200), amazon.com

Best smart-home deals

Want to turn your dumb home into a smart home? Look to the orb! (Photo: Amazon)

With an all-new sphere design, the fourth generation Echo Dot, marked down from $50 to just $25 (we’ve done the math — that’s half off!) for Prime members only, is a small but powerful smart speaker with a glow-light base that can not only channel Alexa but can also stream tunes from Amazon Music, Spotify, Apple Music, Sirius XM and more. It offers clearer, more robust audio quality than earlier iterations. With this dynamo at 50 percent off, there’s never been a smarter time to pair it with another Echo Dot to create amazing stereo sound.

Shoppers love the compact dimensions — just 3.5-inches high — which make it great for smaller rooms. “This is exactly what I was looking for,” said a happy Amazon shopper. “The sound is loud and clear. Now I am able to hear all online stations with no interference. The design is space-saving, with rubber underneath to prevent sliding.”

The Echo Dot 4 comes in Charcoal, Glacier White and Twilight Blue.

Shop more smart-home deals below:

Echo Show 5, $45 (was $80), amazon.com

Echo Auto, $15 (was $50), amazon.com

Echo Show 10 (third generation), $190 (was $250), amazon.com

Echo Frames (second generation), $175 (was $250), amazon.com

Echo Show 8 (second generation), $95 (was $130), amazon.com

Fire TV Cube, $80 (was $120), amazon.com

Fire TV Stick 4K, $25 (was $50), amazon.com

eero 6 mesh Wi-Fi router, $83 (was $129), amazon.com

Ring Video Doorbell Wired, $45 (was $60), amazon.com

Ring Spotlight Cam, $150 (was $200), amazon.com

Ring Stick Up Cam, $75 (was $100), amazon.com

Rexing V1 4K Ultra HD Car Dash Cam, $72 (was $100), amazon.com

Govee Immersion WiFi TV LED Backlights, $49 (was $80), amazon.com

Best work-from-home deals

Whether you’re working from home or just playing around, this Lenovo laptop/tablet’s got you covered. (Photo: Walmart)

Here in Prime time, the Lenovo IdeaPad Flex 5 is on sale for just $399 (down from $520) — over 20 percent off! If productivity is your game, then this machine came to play (by which we mean work). Its brilliant HD 14-inch LED display makes everything look stellar, from spreadsheets to YouTube videos. And thanks to a speedy and powerful AMD Ryzen 3 4300U Octa-Core Processor paired with 4GB of memory and 128GB of on-board storage, the Flex 5 can handle just about any task you throw at it. The laptop even doubles as a Windows 10 tablet — that’s the “Flex” part.

“Amazing laptop, perfect for my everyday needs,” wrote a delighted Walmart reviewer. “Runs fast, touchscreen is awesome and it’s lightweight and small, making travel easy. Extremely durable. Love the ability to use the Lenovo pen, and the tablet mode is such a great feature. Definitely would recommend, especially for the epic price range. Can’t compare.”

Shop more work-from-home deals below:

AcePC AK1 Mini PC, $140 with on-page coupon (was $190), amazon.com

HP Chromebook 11, $180 (was $260), amazon.com

LifeLong Ergonomic Laptop stand for desk, $60 (was $90), amazon.com

AndaSeat gaming and office chair, $240 for Prime members only (was $300), amazon.com

DamKee Massage Gun, $69 with on-page coupon for Prime members only (was $110), amazon.com

Saiji Laptop Bed Tray Desk, $36 with on-page coupon for Prime members only (was $100), amazon.com

SoQool Laptop Stand, $16 for Prime members only (was $90), amazon.com

Canon Office and Business MB5120 All-in-One Printer, $250 (was $300), amazon.com

The reviews quoted above reflect the most recent versions at the time of publication.

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constel-langst-ions · 7 years

Text

Double Trouble

Guys I seriously have no knowledge on 99.9 percent of the topics I write. It’d be very appreciated if you all told me. Thanks!

—

Lance sat on his bed, staring at his legs. Pale beige with a white patella, back of knee, toes, even the heel and ball of his foot. Or prosthetic foot. Thin, black lines indicated where the pieces were wired together. Despite not looking all that advanced, they were. He could walk normally. Even his nerves had been connected. They took up most of his legs, he noted, since he only had a few inches of what was left od his thighs still there. Part of it went up and hugged his waist, so he could easily slip it under clothing. So, thats how his team never knew about them. Not even Hunk. He only changed when Hunk was asleep or he’d change in the bathroom.

He’d do anything to make sure they didn’t know- he didnt want a pity party-, even if it meant hiding. But not everything can be kept a secret, can it?

—

It was 2:37am, according to the castle time. Lance was still completely wide awake. He decided it was a good time to work out a bit, as he knew everyone was asleep; he’d even checked their rooms. Lance absolutely could not afford them finding out.

He made his way to the training room, shirtless, a towel around his neck. He had asked Coran earlier how to modify it as a makeshift gym, and the older Altean had gladly taught him.

Now Lance stood in front of a control panel, tapping pictures that faintly resmebled equipment he had used on Earth to build his upper body strength. He added a few things, including a pullup bar, weights that ranged between 5 and 50 pounds, a heavy bag,n inja walking poles, and a rope hanging from the ceiling. He used all of these to help become stronger over the years, thankful for his family’s ability to grant him the much needed equipment.

He sat down below the pullup bar first, unfasteneinf his legs and setting them to the side. He was wearing female training shorts, not wanting to get longer ones, since he dislikes tying the cloth. These were much better, and they fit snuggly. Fittingly, they were black with the blue paladin volton symbol on the sides. He placed his hands on the sides, and with a grunt, started climbing up. Admittedly, it took longer, as it had been a while since he did it last. Finally, he reached the pull bar and wrapped his fingers around it. Suddenly realizing his music, he hung by one hand and reached for his phone, which was attached to his arm with a black armband. He hit play, and out the music blasted through the wireless headphones.

He started doing chin-ups, muttering out loud each one. “One, two, three, four, five..” He huffed out, urginf himself to push as far as he possibly could. Finally, when he felt his fingers become sore, he placed his hands back on the sides and started making his way down. After a moment, he sat on the ground, and wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his hand. He took a few sips of water, which he thankfully left by his legs, before started to awkwardly crawl to the next training piece, the ninja walking poles. To be fair, they were mainly used for walking, not working on his acrobats skills but hey, whatever it took to not be a burden.

He stopped at the shortest one and pulled himself onto it. He flipped his body up so his hands were around the flat surface, on his palms. He had his arms straightened, his head up so he could see straight ahead. Slowly, he lowered himself, then pushed himself back up. He repeated the movement, gradually getting faster. He moved to the next one, copying the excersise from before. However, it was more wobbly. He had his upper body partially bent, so if he had legs- the thought caused him to chortle- they’d be close to his head. He wished he had them, though, because he was flexible. It would’ve been fun.

But, oh well, it wasn’t his fault that he had been born without them. Defect caused in the womb, his family was told.

It also wasn’t his fault that he didn’t notice the team in the training room doorway.

—

The team had woken up, all of then feeling something empty within their bones. Specifically, Pidge had been awake at the time, but that wasn’t important. They had all exited their rooms, save for Lance, who they noticed was absent from the little party in the hallway. Yawning, and all in their pajamas, they all made their way down the hallway, stopping in front of the training room. They could hear thumps from inside, as well as grunts from who theyre sure was Lance. The lights were bright, and as the door slid open, their jaws dropped.

Lance, with no legs. Lance, in female training shorts. Lance, with his prosthetics on the wall. Lance, balancing on primal walking poles, balancing on one hand.

Lance, to Keith’s embarrassment, looked hot.

—

Lance slowly leaned back, tightening his grip on the top part of the pole so he wouldn’t put too much weight to the side and fall. Gradually, he lowered himself until he could sit on the primal pole, a tall one.

He rested his stub on the other one to keep his balance. Still having the towel around his neck, he wiped his sweat from his forehead. He rubbed his eyes, becoming sleepy.

He heard a noise to his right, and all but screamed.

Before Lance knew it, he was lying flat on his back on the training room floor, the metal nice against his warm skin. The pole he had been on was still teetering from when he had fallen.

He blinked, looking up. His teams faces were over him worried.

“Oh..”

Lance muttered a curse, grappling to sit up. The team gave him space, but still, they stared. Lance didnt like it one bit, no sir. Actually, he despised it. He waa cloose to having a fit of panic, he was so anxious. But he calmed himself. His team wouldnt hurt him, he knew that. So, ever so calmly, he crawled to his prosthetics and slipped then on, slightly raising his shorts to fit them properly. The team only watched, dumbfounded, as he stood, and gave a few text kicks.

Lance looked at then, and shot a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “So, I know you have questions, but please refrain. Yes, I have prosthetics. No, I wasn’t an amputee. I was born without legs, a defect. And yes, my prosthetics and expensive and one of the kind. So Pidge, that means you can’t tinker with them. ‘K?” He rested a hand on his hip, out of breath from his short speech.

They all nodded, the shock still visible on their faces. Only Coran wasn’t phased, his following words making everyone giggle.

“Wait, I was supposed to believe you had legs? My, it waa obvious with your first trip into the pod!” The Altean announced.

They laughed. It was funny, actually.

It lightened the mood, too.

Maybe, just maybe, Lance would open up to them more.

No more secrets.

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theaudioglow · 4 years

Text

Queen at Live Aid: Breaking Down The Posture, Moves, and Stage Charisma of The Great Freddie Mercury

Reading Time: One Freddie Mercury Piano Beer

Yeah, I know the Queen Live Aid show has been covered more than a discarded watermelon rind dropped into a dirt mount full of ants on cocaine. I know – but I dare you to complain about it. Can you name a six-song set with better lighting, song sequence, execution, Freddie Mercuryness, or dare I say…atmosphere?

I don’t care if it has 46 million views on Youtube – I treat it like an obscure gemstone found deep in the Amazon every time I put it on. I even put on a little Percival Fawcett 1920s explorer cap and British knee high beige socks from the 1880s and thrash about the room to “Radio Ga Ga” with an antique machete and…no, no, I don’t do any of that.

But it is must-see musical theatre for all (see how I spelled ‘theatre’ the fancy way). I haven’t yet figured out the coding to embed a Youtube video in the same window as you read (I’m a voice of my generation, not a hacker for Anonymous) So I’ll post the video up top, which you should watch, and thanks to a glorious user on Soundcloud, we’ll do a song-by-song remembrance of the mythical performance, in honor of the 35 year and two day anniversary.

Sound good?

Headphones in. Volume UP. Enjoy.

Song One – Bohemian Rhapsody

I actually feel both elated and spiteful of all the children who did not learn about Queen until the biopic, “Bohemian Rhapsody” came out. Elated because, discovering great music you haven’t heard is akin to riding a stampeding, trumpeting elephant for the first time – nothing beats it. That’s like, 32 percent of the reason I write this blog, to show the Gen Z crowd all the music they missed from 2007. Spiteful because, Freddie operated from titan heights, and the movie couldn’t reach up to his knees.

Rami Malek was adequate, sure. He tried – I get it. But Freddie Mercury was a sassy animal, a sarcastic, cigarette-ash-tapping, droll, flamboyant, wiry cord of sexual electricity and brooding magnetism at once. He overcame pronounced buckteeth to be possibly the greatest breather of vocalist dragon fire of all time. He was…you can watch for yourself in the video. Peak Freddie charisma.

Song Two – Radio Ga Ga

Look at that power stance. This is a textbook, educational video for 13-year-olds aspiring to be Rock Frontmen. Notice the posture, the facial expression, the confident determination.

Yes, that’s right, get your notebook out.

Watch the power strut with the mic – write down “using a prop”. You’ll need to practice at least 37 minutes a day by breaking your mom’s broom in half, down to Freddie microphone size. Then, what does he do? He waves at the crowd and holds tens of thousands of individuals in the palm of his hand. Should you jet off on a cross-country bus to a leather basement club in Greenwich Village to fully put yourself in Freddie’s shoes? Couldn’t hurt.

The lighting is at its best right here. Dusk is just settling over the stage. The lights are changing over, and the smooth delivery of “Radio Ga Ga” encapsulates the next three minutes in an amber bubble of memory sap, to be mined for a musical Jurassic Park 15 million years from now.

Interlude – Ay-oh!

Honestly, could you imagine if you went out in the wild and there was an animal that orchestrated that glorious array of notes like a barnyard noise?

You walk out to feed Clementine Donkey and instead of “hee-haw”, you just hear “Ay-oh” for 50 seconds. Go to feed the chickens – instead of clucks – it’s “Ay-oh”. Give the cows some hay food, their response is “Ay-oh”. You walk away from the barn and just hear the goat: “Hey hey hey hey, how ‘bout a song!”

Okay, I’m buying a farm now.

Song Three – Hammer To Fall

Again, see the masterful air guitar play of Mercury, as he nails every fake chord. See the real guitar play of Brian May, fluid and steady. See the beautiful camera work of the men dressed in all white, like a group of generic psych ward attendants who moonlight as Live Aid filmmakers in nurse costumes.

Song Four – Crazy Little Thing Called Love

The best line of this song is the first.

“This next song is dedicated to only beautiful people here tonight…that means all of you.”

Freddie goes for what we Frontmen scholars call the “soft power stance” in this one. Left leg direct, right leg keeps the beat. Microphone positioned just off-center for a relaxed yet authority-driven performance posture.

Song Five – We Will Rock You

Another soft layer of dusk has gently laid itself upon the arena. Today, Queen would have let A24 or some other prestigious indie production studio walk in and film the show documentary-style, and they would then walk out with an Oscar for the newly created category of “Best Live Show Cinematography”.

Song Six – We Are The Champions

I want to know what Pepsi’s sales looked like after this performance, with all those quaint 1985 Pepsi cups littering Freddie Mercury’s piano.

At this point the crowd just looks like a wave in unison, 100,000 people in Queen hypnosis. Or maybe they’re just in normal tired festival mode – they’re super dirty, there’s one guy who smells like farts and B.O., everyone’s exhausted from taking biker Speed during George Thorogood.

There you have it – 22 minutes end just as nightfall drops a curtain across their final bow.

“So long, goodbye!” yells Freddie Mercury.

The crowd screams and a six-song set that started at 6:44 in the evening is immortalized in memory by a singer who still holds us in the palm of his hand.

***

Artist Links:

Queen Insta (So weird that Queen has Instagram) Queen website

Songs by Queen to get you bothered:

Brighton Rock Love of my Life And of course, Queen in D2: The Mighty Ducks

Enjoy the buzz? Tip your literary bartender. Share it with a friend.

#Freddie Mercury #Live Aid #Queen #Bohemian Rhapsody #Rock Frontmen #Greatest Live Performances #Rock Music #Classic Rock Music #Charisma #1985 #Wembley Stadium

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heatherrdavis1 · 4 years

Text

Bitcoin Halving Blueprint for 4000% SUPER BULL RUN $300000 Possible?

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

Today in crypto updates to the stock and flow models show that Bitcoin could be preparing for an amazing four thousand percent run, pushing the price up to almost three hundred thousand dollars. Wowsers. And the Bitcoin having it is the match lighting the fuse for that crazy run. Another country falls victim to the Fiat scam as life savings disappear overnight and pieces of paper with numbers written on them lose half of their value. And UN unbelievable theft happening over in the U.S. by banks just helping themselves to the stimulus. Honey pot. The crypto lark. This is where you subscribe for all of the hottest and all of the latest happenings out there in the wild, wildland of crypto. And of course, for anyone who is new to crypto, I have a beginners course just for you. It explains all of the basics that you need to know to get started and to be able to invest in Bitcoin with confidence. There’s a link Downbelow in the description where you can learn more. So let’s go ahead and dive into the charts to get started with today. Firstly, I would like to point out that Bitcoin is up over a hundred percent since the crash in March. That’s just it’s wild and it is up around 10 percent so far this year. Bitcoin, man, bitcoin. Anyway, Bitcoin is still stuck in a limbo zone right now, around seventeen hundred dollars. We are now on our fourth attempt to break and hold above seventy-eight hundred dollars. And in spite of all the bullish momentum that we have been seeing recently, a lot of reasons to be bullish about Bitcoin right now. The volume has actually been on a bit of a downtrend, although volume does remain higher than it was before the crash. That’s definitely a positive sign overall. Still, though, I would like to see some really strong volume backing up these moves higher for the price beyond seventy-eight hundred dollars. The real line to break is the 200-day moving average, currently sitting around seventy-nine hundred and fifty dollars. It really eight thousand dollars. That is the target. Let’s get close above eight thousand dollars. But of course, we do run the risk of a short term correction if these tests to break seventy-eight hundred do fail, possibly bringing the bearish diverters we currently see playing out on the RSI actually to the forefront, dropping has down a few hundred dollars is a decent area of support, around seventy-four hundred dollars if that does happen. But even if there is a short bump, the wide picture remains very bullish for Bitcoin Plan B, you know the guy behind the stock to flow model. He has just released an update to that model, which is showing that Bitcoin is getting ready for something very, very big. You see, once the having happens, the stock to flow model really starts to kick in for the next run and we see a steep increase in price. So if, of course, the price does follow to the model, then Bitcoin could hit around ten thousand dollars mid-June. Nice. Nice. OK. Aw, man. Not bad, not bad. Possibly as high as thirty thousand dollars by the end of the year. Yeah. That’s Rob, an Internet man. Give it to me. That’s the good stuff. Gimme that good opium. And are you ready for this new peak? Highs of at least a hundred thousand dollars by the end of twenty twenty-one. Oh, yeah. That is good stuff, internet man. Keep it coming. Keep it coming. But it gets even better. Update to the model predicts that Bitcoin could see a maximum cycle peak of two hundred and eighty-eight thousand dollars. And it could happen very soon. Two hundred and eighty-eight thousand dollars. That would be around a four thousand percent gain. Well. Now, if that sounds like some crazy woo hope the, um, no, let me just remind you that last having Bitcoin rally by 3200 percent from the time of the having to the peak. So, yeah, 4000 percent. That is actually possible. And that could carry us up to nearly three hundred thousand you as dollars wowsers. Remember, bitcoins either go into millions or it is going to zero. Personally, I’m not in the zero camps. I’m in the millions camp. The bitcoin having is only 13 days away. Stack Satz and chill my friends. The next few years are going to be a wild, wild ride. There is a very strong likelihood that this having like having before will indeed trigger a massive cryptocurrency, super Bullrun run, which will rocket bitcoin along with a lot of other cryptocurrency occurrences like Ethereal Theorem and Catano to new all-time highs. Many, many more millionaires will be made during this time. You can be one of them. If, of course, you are positioning yourselves right. Slowly accumulating those cryptocurrencies for those long term gains. And yes, there will be more dollar gains happening in the old coin market when things really get heating up, because while Bitcoin doing a 40 X, it’s pretty good. It’s pretty good. There’ll be multiple all coins doing 100 X plus moves. So something to keep in mind. Bitcoin, definitely a safer play. That’s why half my portfolio is still in Alte coins. But the other half is in Bitcoin. It is the rock of my portfolio. The rest of it is kind of for the growth, you know, and gains the old coin stuff. Anyway, having me to make a portfolio video free guys for ages is still a long list of things to do. I will get to on these days soon anyway. It does seem that the message is getting out about Bitcoin because more and more people are apparently buying it, as is evidenced by this great new milestone. The number of networked addresses holding at least zero point one Bitcoin has just crossed over three million. I see this as a super important metric since it means that more and more retail buyers are coming in. Whale accumulation is nice. It is nice to see new all-time highs for people holding a thousand or more bitcoin. That’s great. But really it is retail that is gonna move the market into that next big bull run and increasingly is seeing more people show up. By the way, for those you who are stacking Bitcoin for the long run, please, please, please take your security seriously and get yourselves a ledger. Hard where wallet. I have heard way too many stories about people losing their cryptocurrencies recently because they didn’t take their security seriously enough. These devices are so simple and they’re incredibly secure. And just a great way to hold onto your cryptocurrency is also a reminder that there’s actually a 27 percent discount going right now for family packs. You can get a few of these, you know, one for yourself, one for a backup for me, one to give way for a friend or family member. So great time to grab one. There’s a link Downbelow in the description where you can get yours. So let’s talk about banks. Oh, banks. Good times always over in Lebanon, bank protests have turned violent as the local currency has tanked more than 50 percent in six months. It is unsurprising that Lebanon’s banks are the target of people’s anger, says the bank’s imposed severe capital controls on their customers in the middle of a currency collapse, limiting withdrawals of the Lebanese pound and actually prohibiting people from withdrawing foreign currencies. Fed-up citizens have torched at least five banks with Molotov cocktails in the last couple of days. Now, I’ve been covering the UN covering the unfolding chaos in Lebanon for a few months nowhere on the channel. It’s just it’s such an insane situation is heartbreaking seeing this happen. Just imagine living this situation yourself. All of your retirement money cut in half as you see the value of currency just plummet. All your savings cut in half. All your award for decades of hard work cut in half. At the same time, food prices are going up, especially anything that is imported paper money. It’s worthless because it relies on faith in corrupt governments. Oh, sure, some of them are OK for some times, but long term all Fiat’s going to zero. It’s backed by nothing but lies. Personally, I will take mathematics any day of the week over the faith and promises of any government. Any Lebanese person who bought and held Bitcoin, they’re so lucky because they now have a life raft, they can access their funds, they can send it anywhere at a time to anyone, those who did not. They are the ones burning down the banks, the banks that are now stuffed full of worthless pieces of paper. And the final story for you today, American banks. They always take the cake, don’t they? They’re handling the government’s 349 billion dollar loan program for small businesses. And in doing so, this was just for the first tranche, by the way. And in doing so, they made more than 10 billion dollars in fees even as thousands of small businesses were shut out of the program. Just think about how many businesses could 10 billion dollars have helped. And to make matters worse, to really a disgusting degree, such a large percentage of that loan money, it did not go to your mom and pop cafes didn’t go to your local barbershop or your local mechanic. Oh, no. It went to hedge funds. Are you ducking kid me? Man hedge combo. Come on. Come on. This is they’re so brazen. It’s insane. And yet a lot of other big businesses do besides headphones. You had like Shake Shack and all these others out there got their hands out, taken that money. It was intended for small businesses. Here’s an example of how all this played out. Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse received a loan of 10 million dollars with JP Morgan acting as a lender. JP Morgan took a one hundred thousand dollar one-time fee to process this transaction, for which it assumed no risk than could pass through with much fewer requirements than would normally be needed for a regular loan. All of the incentives for the big banks were to hand big loans to big businesses to get their slice of the pie easier, actually helping small businesses. That would be too much hard work. And he is not like the taxpayers have bailed the banks out before and could use a little bit goodwill from them. Now, there is no goodwill from the banks. This is an absolutely broken system. This story was also just really the icing on top of the cake of a story that you saw from last week that came out about banks taking stimulus checks to pay for things like account overdrafts and other outstanding payments to the bank. Because really, what better way to help people already overdrawn and in desperate situations in the middle of an economic crisis who are struggling to put food on the table to feed their kids than to take their aid money? Banks are Grossman, seriously, stories like these. They’re not surprising. We’ve been covering these stories for a long time. They still make me sick. Banks are just like, wow. But banks have long overstayed their welcome in our society. I really believe this. It is time that we move to a world without these greedy middlemen. Bitcoin is the key to opening that door to financial freedom. Stories like these ones today, they only reinforced my conviction that the future of finance is cryptocurrency in all the systems they’re developing around it. So anyway, those are just my tools. So she’s your question for today. What do you think of the updated stock to flow model predicting bitcoin up to two hundred eighty-eight thousand dollars? Crazy stuff. Or do you think it’s inevitable? Let me know your opinion. Down below in the comments section. Oh, you’re having an amazing day. Thank you so much for stopping by the channel and saying hi. Really appreciate it. As always, make sure that a thumbs-up video on your way out the door. And subscribe to channel. If you are new around here. Long live the blockchain and peace out next time.

Via https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000/

source https://cryptosharks.weebly.com/blog/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000-super-bull-run-300000-possible

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jeffrmayhugh · 4 years

Text

Bitcoin Halving Blueprint for 4,000% SUPER BULL RUN – $300,000 Possible?

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

source https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000/ source https://cryptosharks1.tumblr.com/post/616813687944118272

0 notes

scottmapess · 4 years

Text

Bitcoin Halving Blueprint for 4,000% SUPER BULL RUN – $300,000 Possible?

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

source https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000/ source https://cryptosharks1.blogspot.com/2020/04/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000.html

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cryptosharks1 · 4 years

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Bitcoin Halving Blueprint for 4,000% SUPER BULL RUN – $300,000 Possible?

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

source https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-halving-blueprint-for-4000/

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galucy-blog · 6 years

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The Pros

Incredibly thin, attractive design; Bright, vivid display; Solid battery life; Surprisingly comfortable keyboard

The Cons

Not as fast as other ultraportables; Quiet speakers

Verdict

Acer recaptures the throne for the world’s thinnest laptop while offering a vibrant display, comfortable keyboard and 4G LTE capability.

All hail the king! Acer’s Swift 7 ($1,699) is officially the world’s slimmest clamshell laptop, measuring just 0.35 inches thick. Somehow, Acer managed to fit a gorgeous, 14-inch display; a comfortable, full-size keyboard; and 4G LTE connectivity into that tiny frame. And despite having a thinner battery, the notebook squeezed out over 9 hours of battery life in our testing. But a few sacrifices had to be made at the altar of svelteness. For the Swift 7, it’s a pair of weak speakers and a 7th Generation Intel Core processor that trails the fastest ultraportables.

Design

Call it a weapon of slim destruction. Acer is clearly winning the fight for the thinnest notebook. Weighing 2.6 pounds and measuring 12.9 x 9.3 x 0.35 inches, the Swift 7 makes the HP Spectre 13 (2.4 pounds, 12 x 8.8 x 0.4 inches), LG Gram (2.2 pounds, 12.7 x 8.3 x 0.6 inches) and Huawei MateBook X Pro (2.9 pounds, 12 x 8.5 x 0.6 inches) look thick around the middle. However, when it comes to weight, the Swift 7 is a middleweight compared to its competitors.

The Swift 7’s design is a marvel. Made of black CNC aluminum, the laptop is not only sleek but also surprisingly substantial. I didn’t feel an innate urge to chuck it as I did with the Lenovo LaVie Z. Instead, I spent a significant amount of time admiring the exterior, with its nearly seamless construction.

Thanks to its fanless design, the notebook looks like a single piece of metal, with the exception of the rear hinges and the glittering chrome Acer logo on the lid. Speaking of those hinges, they enable the display to lie flat at a 180-degree angle.

Call it a weapon of slim destruction. Acer is clearly winning the fight for the thinnest notebook.

I particularly liked the Swift logo embossed at the back of the device and the way the bottom edges of the system thicken via an oh-so-delicate curve. Best of all, thanks to a special nano coating, the Swift 7 withstood the assault of my typically oily fingers, keeping a relatively pristine finish.

The laptop’s interior is just as captivating. The deck is also made of cool-to-the-touch black aluminum. The island-style keyboard is enclosed in a modest recess toward the top of the deck and is flanked by a fingerprint scanner with a diamond-cut border.

It’s a small, elegant touch that Acer employed on the touchpad and the display. My only gripe with the Swift’s design is that the webcam is mounted in the bottom display bezel (more on that later).

Ports: Welcome to the dongle life

When you’re working with a laptop as thin as the Swift 7, you’re going to take a hit in the portsdepartment. The Swift 7 has a pair of USB Type-C ports and a headset jack on its left side. On the right, there’s a power button and the nano SIM slot.

So what does that mean for folks looking to connect a mouse or an external hard drive? Dongles, dongles and more dongles. In addition to its power cord, the Swift 7 ships with a multiuse dongle that has a USB 3.1 port, a USB Type-C port and HDMI.

Display

The Swift 7’s svelteness doesn’t stop at the chassis. The 14-inch IPS panel is only 0.8 inches thick, and it’s topped with a 0.02-inch-thick pane of Corning Gorilla Glass. Acer has reduced the size of the top (0.38 inches) and side (0.36 inches) bezels, though they’re not as thin as the Dell XPS 13’s barely-there InfinityEdge bezels (0.2 inches). Still, I’m a fan of the vanishing-bezel trend.

Bezels aside, the Swift 7’s 1920 x 1080 screen is bright and bursting with color. When I watched the Support the Girls trailer, Regina Hall’s honey-brown skin glowed against her magenta top, while the sun played up the golden highlights in her hair. Details were crisp enough that I could make out individual strands of hair cascading in the sunlight.

The Swift 7’s display can reproduce a whopping 143 percent of the sRGB color gamut. That’s more vivid than the 111 percent produced by the HP Spectre 13, the 128 percent from the LG Gram and the 124 percent from the Huawei MateBook X Pro , and also better than the premium-laptop average.

When we measured the Swift 7’s brightness, it averaged 304 nits, which was just enough to top the 302-nit average and the Spectre 13’s 247 nits. The Gram was a little brighter, at 307 nits, but the MateBook was the brightest of all, at 458 nits.

When used as a touch screen, the Swift 7’s 10-finger capacitive panel is quick and responsive, keeping pace with my scribbles and doodles.

Audio

A thin chassis doesn’t typically make for big sound, and the Swift is no exception. Mounted at the bottom of the notebook, toward the back, the Swift 7’s pair of speakers are weak — so weak, in fact, that they couldn’t fill my relatively small bedroom, even with the Dolby Audio software. I had to turn off my air conditioner to really hear Jazmine Sullivan’s “Let It Burn.”

MORE: The Best Laptops for Business and Productivity

Once I made the required adjustments, the keyboard and synths were pretty clear, with punchy percussion. Sullivan’s luscious alto poured out from the speakers, and yet I still felt like I had to get closer to really hear anything. In short, make sure you have a pair of headphones or a Bluetooth speaker handy when you’re listening to music or watching movies on the Swift 7.

Keyboard, Touchpad and Fingerprint Scanner

Considering that the Swift 7 is so thin, I was expecting a rather uncomfortable typing experience, but I was pleasantly surprised. Despite the keys’ 1 millimeter of key travel (1.5 to 2 mm is the minimum), their 71 grams of required actuation force (we consider 60 grams the minimum) helped to create a bouncy typing experience on the island-style keyboard. I hit my usual 70 words per minute on the 10fastfingers.com typing test. The white backlighting made typing in the dark pretty easy, since it sufficiently illuminated the text on the keys.

The most polarizing aspect of the Swift 7 is its Precision Touchpad. The 4.8 x 2.5-inch pad is pretty big and made of Gorilla Glass. My fingers had plenty of space to perform Windows multitouch gestures such as pinch to zoom and three- and four-finger swipe, and presses on the superwide space delivered a speedy, accurate response.

Considering that the Swift 7 is so thin, I was expecting a rather uncomfortable typing experience, but I was pleasantly surprised.

But outside of the touchpad’s silky-smooth feel and size, I believe many people are going to take issue with the lack of a click. That’s right; attempts to click on the bottom corners of the touchpad won’t deliver the expected right or left mouse button functionality. Instead, I had to adjust to double-tapping to get the desired effect, and I still haven’t figured out how to drag and drop.

Positioned along the left side of the keyboard, the fingerprint scanner lets you unlock your laptop using Windows Hello. Setup takes about a minute after you create a traditional password, and consists of repeatedly placing and lifting your finger on the scanner for approximately a minute.

Performance

As modern as the Swift 7’s design is, its 7th Gen 1.3-GHz Intel Core i7-7Y75 processor is a little behind the times. Intel’s Y-series chips are specifically built to accommodate fanless designs, but they tend to lack the power of regular U-series chips. It’s a decision that puts this ultraportable at a disadvantage compared to its peers. Still, I had no issues when streaming an episode from the second season of Luke Cage with a Twitch stream playing in one of the 17 other Google Chrome tabs I had open while running Windows Defender.

The performance deficiency showed as soon as we began running synthetic benchmark tests. On Geekbench 4, which measures overall CPU performance, the Swift 7 scored 6,011, which is far below the 10,946 premium-laptop average. Armed with their 8th Gen 1.8-GHz Intel Core i7-8550U processors, the HP Spectre 13, the Huawei MateBook X Pro and the LG Gram achieved 13,090, 13,018 and 11,154, respectively. The Core i5 version of the Dell XPS 13 scored 13,254.

As modern as the Swift 7’s design is, its 7th Gen 1.3-GHz Intel Core i7-7Y75 processor is a little behind the times.

On our productivity test, the Swift 7 took 3 minutes and 1 second to pair 65,000 names and addresses — far longer than the 1:35 average. The MateBook completed the task in 1:49, the Gram took 1:19 and the XPS 13 finished in 1:15.

MORE: Which Laptop CPU is Right for You?

During the File Transfer test, the Swift 7’s 256GB NVMe SSD copied 4.97GB of mixed-media content in 19 seconds, for a speed of 267.9 megabytes per second. That’s somewhat short of the 280.6-MBps average but still better than the Gram’s (512GB M.2 SATA drive) 169.6 MBps. However, the MateBook and its 512GB PCIe NVMe SSD was faster, with a rate of 282.7 MBps. The XPS 13 hit 339.2 MBps, nearly tying the Spectre 13’s 339.3 MBps.

Armed with an integrated Intel HD Graphics 615 GPU, the Swift 7 can play older titles such as BioShock Infinite. You can even play some Overwatch, but more graphically demanding titles, like The Witcher 3, are out of the system’s reach. The svelte device delivered 31 frames per second on the Dirt 3 test, which is slightly above our 30-fps playability average but a long way from the 70-fps average as well as the frame rates from the Gram, the Spectre 13 (Intel HD Graphics 620) and the MateBook (Nvidia GeForce GTX MX140), which hit 50, 57 and 117 fps, respectively.

When we ran the 3DMark IceStorm Unlimited test, the Swift 7 obtained 55,870. That’s not enough to match the Spectre 13 (75,114), the Gram (67,989), the category average (84,885) or the MateBook (116,359). The XPS 13 also scored higher than the Swift 7, at 77,584.

4G LTE

Ever been on a business trip when you needed to shoot off an important email, and the internet connection was incredibly spotty or nonexistent? Acer hopes to alleviate that pain point by adding a nano SIM slot so that the Swift 7 can have 4G LTE. And if you don’t have a nano SIM card handy, you can use the laptop’s embedded eSIM technology to get service via software.

In case you want to take the Swift 7 for a spin before you invest in another SIM card, Acer has teamed with mobile virtual network operator (MVNO) Transatel for global cellular service. The laptop includes a one-month free trial of up to 1GB, so you can get a taste of the out-of-the-box connectivity.

Battery Life

Because of the Swift 7’s tiny dimensions, I wasn’t expecting it to have good battery life, especially once I learned that the two-cell lithium-ion battery is 23-percent slimmer than standard laptop batteries. But the system lasted 9 hours and 4 minutes on the Laptop Mag Battery Test, which consists of continuous web surfing over Wi-Fi at 150 nits of brightness.

MORE: Laptops with the Longest Battery Life

The Acer outlasted the 8:41 premium-laptop average and the HP Spectre 13’s 5:16, but both the Huawei MateBook X Pro and the LG Gram lasted longer, with runtimes of 9:55 and 10:46, respectively The Core i5-powered Dell XPS 13 lasted 12:37 with its 1080p nontouch screen and 8:53 with its 4K display and Core i7 CPU.

Heat

No fan, no problem. Thanks to Intel’s ultra-low-power processor, the Swift 7 doesn’t get particularly hot. In fact, after 15 minutes of streaming a full-screen HD video, the laptop was well within our 95-degree-Fahrenheit comfort threshold. The touchpad measured 79 degrees, while the middle of the keyboard and bottom registered 80 and 84 degrees, respectively.

Webcam

I can’t even call the Swift 7’s 720p integrated webcam a “nose cam,” since it lacks the strategic angling of webcams on similarly skinny systems like the Dell XPS 13. Rather, the Swift has a torso cam, which cut my face out of the picture when I was sitting down but was positioned perfectly when I was lying down and typing in bed.

As for the actual photos, the color accuracy was on point, capturing the exact shade of blue of my bedroom walls and the varied gradients of wood in my headboard. The pictures were full of visual noise, which obscured fine details like the white flowers on my dress.

Software and Warranty

Acer preinstalled its usual suite of branded software, including Care Center, which lets you check system diagnostics and create and manage backups. You also get Quick Access, where you can enable or disable Bluelight Shield, which reduces blue light to protect your eyes, and Color Intelligence, which automatically optimizes the image quality based on what’s displayed.

Thanks to Windows 10, there is a bit of bloatware on board here, such as Drawboard PDF, Candy Crush Soda Saga, Bubble Witch 3 Saga, Hidden City: Hidden Object Adventure and Dolby Access, which can enhance your headphone listening experience.

Bottom Line

In the battle for slim laptop supremacy, Acer has the industry’s number. The Swift 7 offers a stunning touch-screen display, a comfortable typing experience and over 9 hours of battery life in a shockingly thin design that’s lovely to behold and hold. However, for $1,699, I wish Acer had offered more performance oomph, as Intel’s ultra-low-power Core i7-7Y75 CPU isn’t as swift as the latest 8th Gen Kaby Lake processors.

For $1,499, you can get the Huawei MateBook X Pro, which offers better performance, a brighter display and longer battery life. However, that system is heavier and 42-percent thicker than Acer’s slice of tech. Overall, mobile professionals searching for the absolute slimmest notebook in the land should definitely snatch up the Acer Swift 7.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

CPU 1.3-GHz Intel Core i7-7Y75 processor Operating System Windows 10 Home RAM 8GB RAM Upgradable to Hard Drive Size 256GB Hard Drive Speed n/a Hard Drive Type PCIe NVMe SSD Secondary Hard Drive Size Secondary Hard Drive Speed Secondary Hard Drive Type Display Size 14 Highest Available Resolution 1920 x 1280 Native Resolution 1920×1080 Optical Drive None Optical Drive Speed n/a Graphics Card Intel HD Graphics 615 Video Memory Wi-Fi 802.11a/b/g/n/ac Wi-Fi Model Intel Dual Band Wireless-AC Bluetooth Bluetooth 4.1 Mobile Broadband 4G LTE Touchpad Size 4.8 x 2.5 inches Ports (excluding USB) USB Type-C Ports (excluding USB) Headset Ports (excluding USB) Fingerprint Scanner USB Ports 2 Card Slots nanoSIM Warranty/Support 1 year limited warranty Size 12.9 x 9.3 x 0.35 inches Weight 2.6 pounds Company Website http://www.acer.com

Acer Swift 7 (2018) Review

The Pros Incredibly thin, attractive design; Bright, vivid display; Solid battery life; Surprisingly comfortable keyboard The Cons…

Acer Swift 7 (2018) Review The Pros Incredibly thin, attractive design; Bright, vivid display; Solid battery life; Surprisingly comfortable keyboard The Cons…

0 notes

koristore-blog · 6 years

Text

The Pros

Incredibly thin, attractive design; Bright, vivid display; Solid battery life; Surprisingly comfortable keyboard

The Cons

Not as fast as other ultraportables; Quiet speakers

Verdict

Acer recaptures the throne for the world’s thinnest laptop while offering a vibrant display, comfortable keyboard and 4G LTE capability.

Design

Call it a weapon of slim destruction. Acer is clearly winning the fight for the thinnest notebook.

Ports: Welcome to the dongle life

Display

When used as a touch screen, the Swift 7’s 10-finger capacitive panel is quick and responsive, keeping pace with my scribbles and doodles.

Audio

MORE: The Best Laptops for Business and Productivity

Keyboard, Touchpad and Fingerprint Scanner

Considering that the Swift 7 is so thin, I was expecting a rather uncomfortable typing experience, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Performance

As modern as the Swift 7’s design is, its 7th Gen 1.3-GHz Intel Core i7-7Y75 processor is a little behind the times.

MORE: Which Laptop CPU is Right for You?

4G LTE

Battery Life

MORE: Laptops with the Longest Battery Life

Heat

Webcam

Software and Warranty

Bottom Line

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Acer Swift 7 (2018) Review The Pros Incredibly thin, attractive design; Bright, vivid display; Solid battery life; Surprisingly comfortable keyboard The Cons…

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tocoworks · 7 years

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Sweat Equity: How To Be More Efficient In 2018 ⏱ 🚀 🛠

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TRANSCRIPT BY DRAGON DICTATE

Who now are going I can see that face was live feeling good how are you feeling Eric Readinger real good yeah really it you get the show going on mean we gotta squeeze one last one in before 2017 goes out I know hopefully get the bonus content common when we pretend that where a dog is initiate next year and then get caught up in the life of your days later I hate New Year's resolutions I don't I don't like hey I don't like people telling me their words without me asking Jeff I mean II know I'm annoying I give out a lot of free device known as for but you do it all your law right Lisa consistent with the exact path but like the thing with plus I always heard here's a little here's a little advice sweat equity advice goals New Year's resolutions essentially goal right losing weight is a New Year's resolution but it's not a good goal July your lifestyle good goal do you know why though nonspecific will is you just write I'm girl and there's no light quantifiable thing is a need it so instead of going on the lose weight and 2018 have to go like by June I'll lose 25 pounds whatever is everybody's resolution should be understood actually be real with myself instead of I'm going to lose weight and then when people ask you about it like we some pictures at New Year's is get real talk when you get real lack landlady real talk in the pocket you just need to be real with yourself a 12 team you know that's what it is people tell themselves stories make it all good so everybody around them here's what their convincing themselves of how I like I been guilty of this as well where you go on the to do this to keep myself accountable right yeah have to sign works have timed doesn't sound like my dad take it all back as I've done that before to know me at what we all have its it's annoying if you 0400 for whatever 100 with your friends or family about it like I go on the run a marathon that I said that at one point last year think and then I didn't predict an injury and then once you got injured I just couldn't get back in it and so one of my I feel do she does like everybody listen to me on the road where the line but what was the entry I just bad hamstring pull which you as you know from some replace fantasy football if you draft any wide receiver yet having the same as a lingering IRA though never be hundred percent so I wait that out like you know it's not my favorite but let's get this ship going you ready for your Howdy toddy did you read it 321 God Almighty this is a sweat equity podcast come to you from cigar city Ybor city Florida beautiful enclave of the of the hood enclave enclave yeah I think I use that right in Tampa Florida we may be in Tampa but we were we keep it worldwide like pitbull but this advice as a business hustle advice I think a lot of people asked me what is the podcast they see my face popping up in their feed because were doing good with our targeted video ads that's something I love it if you hear little muffling the background that's a production meeting going on behind us of high level production film meeting made I might want to yell just a just have their meeting but what's on there I know I keep like going to the bathroom lexically go to get anything actors need a grant from you might grab any parts I again works like yeah but let's… Give a little love to her sponsor fresh books tax season is coming up my goal here you go here's my New Year's Gold pay your taxes pay taxes yes no I want to get taxes done by 15 January my business taxes that's the goal good luck I got a hustle but you know what it will you know I can cram yeah are you doing every three months yeah yeah quarterly is sure yeah they said we have to as an S Corp. you you know you have to with meeting minutes and all that stuff that we do all that go go fresh books.com/sweat and you get three a free 30 day trial but QuickBooks are not happy with zero there 00 at the next get out here go to that's that that's another song or no no no that's like a that's the vid me out of all these fresh books is the is the competitor to QuickBooks zeros, that the video drove off to the side there like third place probably for meals for me is good for what it is I mean I'm sure was writing books but look freshman and you need a bookkeeper we've got actual client that I can hook you up with if you want to email me at [email protected] will show her love she's got a virtual bookkeeping business and it just ties it Sophie you go to go fresh books.com/what and then email us the double hook up you could really email us for anything business I think we got something in place right yeah and pleasure yeah sure you know you want to send some pleasure pics will do this 90 style yeah I'm sending over there sending them to us I mean that matters depends depends I'm not doing them independence depends on the map and you know see we want to go 2018 New Year's resolutions I mean these are do you have anything no but look you shouldest do these once a month really shouldn't be a year yeah it's weird it's it takes easier for people to grandma look at myself with it are things going good for Maren okay and by October your different person I will eat like a fat pig from Christy Easley from Christmas to New Year's like no big like Burger King all day son yeah everybody that is that's a pretty standard thing or is it yeah to go worse than normal now I do it to the holidays you you do ketogenic will I do but I don't Christmas hello I mean I Brian you get at Iquitos yeah but I can get my bag and okay it's a gimmick around our house these next day you're right Rita is mental but Seattle get the hang agrees like some people do I know I don't usually but I feel like anything I have so little to hold onto his advice that I feel like I would if I do right now you would have been angry as if you win and I dress Onassis yeah I have to do a blood test tomorrow for health insurance incentives which means you can't eat associate today and I isolate this morning because you got to get like a pure sample or whatever and and cholesterol so they give you incentives if you like a reward if you're decent I can't going all stressed out a is one time I failed and I to go back and do it I was like one of many to walk out what your blood pressure is yeah and I was like no Isaac as I rushed over here to get to this thing and went right into it and I'm thinking about work let me go outside only to walk in the hallway for like 10 minutes I came back fine and that weird that's weird I did that recently the doctors to had to get in there real quick and on-site and don't let yeah the Dilip having high blood pressure worry give you high blood pressure that's another contract so I try not to let it psyche out I assume you got into the cholesterol one which is you know I don't know what's good cholesterol bad cholesterol but are you going to do that task so you do bunch of those things which is actually interesting because they make you do this app called rally we go to we rally.com it's actually I wanted to shed all over it because I might man I want I don't want to have to have this thing you tracking stuff the health insurance companies making use that now make you it's it's what I'd like a strong incentive but that's how they measure stuff they think you have to do like certain certain things of the blight but I got to go to Qwest labs and that will knock out like four of the rewards you can get okay as you get likes I can get 600 bucks back basically one was like you get 50 bucks for filling out a survey that's just like how many drinks you have it's like the basic general practitioner you know little questions I would ask you do you sleep well do you eat well all that stuff this is also the app yeah you answering this question is cool but then I tied it you can tie it into your so I have the Apple watch yeah that's about that yeah while I don't know how to use it yet I got it and I haven't had time to like yeah get to know this baby you gonna love it will I just wanted just to be able to jog with and not I have the old iPod that I have to load manually nice real nice real nice right I write if I am ever like I am assuming those like 10 years and my yeah but it's so cumbersome that I forget like I don't when I get a chance to run it's like oh you got yeah I I'll get the kids for 30 minutes you go for running like okay what I need everything to stick 10 minutes that I just can change and get out the door yeah and then getting music ready to go to site and it's not happen so the reason I like this is just I'd have streaming stuff because it has its own phone number I guess oh you got the a data plan yeah oh nice yeah so you can do the air pod headphone yes I'm a good goalie asked well basically I have flown on my watch and I have my air pods that you can't see my ears which I wanted to hook up to this but I think it would ruin the Bluetooth with the video yeah that's that's that's what's future ship well it's only acyl because light to my wife because she won't know they're in now I used to keep it that the ones under my shirt the the corded headset right so at least you can see that a lot of the time but now you just you can't see it all you could use these giant headphones is like holders for your air pods cut the cords because they fall out of my ears hey what these are your pod covers I had to buy these so they don't break not I but I've been falling asleep of those things in which is not good probably for my ears because I feel like I mean Felix's summer jam to pencil in there if I sleep on my side but it doesn't wake you up when I when I go to sleep all hit it hard but I wake up really easily anyway the thing with that is like all this stuff is to be more efficient anyway because I can arty feel that your pods like you can get about 30 feet away from your phone and it still plays whatever podcasting listen to music whatever 80s background with new wrapper genre music I like to listen to like that Eminem song but it's that thing of you know saving trips from going back your phone for something what I can charge the phone or not tethered to or I'm not I'm not going without listening to something for 30 minutes which is trust that but I can make calls and still it's weird it's it's it shouldn't be that big of a difference but it's talking also in the the watch I when I had a Fitbit which were super ugly come like they're ugly they're ugly looking this I got a get a new band on it but I got that ship and you got the big boy version I got the lady lady says I actually pilot pulled my hair out on accident because the rubber because when it gets to that I was going like that I head back head head hair and ended if I took a few with it so not feeling good but what I'm saying is I like the tracking of the stats because I like how much do I stand up during the day how many I do like that stuff I don't care big brothers watch me yeah I've also noticed that the Stan Golson it is not that I can I reach my standing goal laying on my ass okay so does it mean stick to stand really mean are you up I don't know I I think it met like I think discounts if you're awake sell real okay is it going around yeah because right now price as I'm standing right in my heart rate a little bit because were trying to multitask on air oh that's the other job I loved going on stage doing standup and seeing what my heart rate would be while on stage yeah you could try check the time and stop it'd be lower way lower they just normal onstage you weird yeah but both euros off before would spike about 10 to not be three-minute more which isn't really a spike but it would it would get up because you can't anxious your light will bit smug and run over and then when I'm on stage at site cruise control cleared it weird and did did for stand up last Friday which felt good had a really good set which is I forgot how good of a feeling that is when you're so nervous about getting up because I'd been that nervous price seven years yeah dude I mean you and how many months for five months. This podcast helps the mean I tried it I I pitch a lot of podcasts to our clients go look it's a good way you gotta do it like we wish we've been shoehorning in episodes last couple weeks just because it's just been nuts around here holidays baba but we didn't plan ahead like we can plan ahead by the quarter kind of thing like we should but like it's a good cathartic it it's a little bit of therapy it's a little bit of like I try to write some jokes for it right ideas yeah like what is our creative outlet for sure it is him is sometimes the only time we talk during the day but also it's like it's it does have to be polished obviously and it it's another way to get her voice out there for people to digest when they can handle it now one thing I I did come up with while running the other day and this will tie into how to be more efficient is I got a term I want to coin officially calling on the go so we've got some lingering projects that just that become like big picture ideas I feel like a lot of people have this unit maybe you want to do in addition on your house were you know you try to figure out how to save enough money to buy a ring for your lady were you would don't do that though but stupid if she's in the wedding rings and she got the girl for you what if you have a family ring by all means do that whole you can do that yeah don't don't be full by tapirs okay it's at this so many diamonds out there manually many the world look at the history of all that she is talking crazy you know it's all made that's why like advertising yet will I mean it's going to its settings going away you think the holy I don't I think it's to both I think with a lot of things it's going down but the other sides can imagine will I think the wedding industry of like having bad ass wedding that's going up the ring with the precious stones is not as big a deal anymore speaker wedge event coordinators for weddings or secretly like the worst coordinator like of anything you know what a millionaire not about to let yeah I've dealt with a lot of event court wedding coordinators of the site you do this for a living right like wool I brought all I brought all the reclaimed wood like furniture and Mike Horton Mike hey yeah they always focus yet have one thing that's her focus and talk about the farm theme and then it's like okay that's one part you have a schedule of when the wedding starts will know you have to fires right back yeah we are our buddy Damien is what employer just left yeah why would she stay for the wedding that's crazy I mean it was just like what it was a point where it's like I shouldn't be the most organized person at this wedding for what's about to happen it was like it's so crazy how people do not take their job seriously like that's Ivan Mike seriously that's just like basic level stuff that's that I don't care how anxious you get or how you're worried you are like showing up is half the battle if additional forethought either live like maybe this will happen and I'll have to do this anyways I cut you off about being efficient while you're running or something oh so we think of like big ideas right now have the everybody goes I want to do this when you learn another language this year or some like that and then becomes is over you never get to start a lot a lot of that is to start just just go okay and turning everything off 20 minutes after to start and it doesn't matter when whenever that 20 minutes is over or I I find it a break then that'll be it but a lot of people don't do that part and so you get to this overwhelming idea you've had in your hand we've got to do a pitch deck that this is why this is where I came up with that window pitched Atkins become this this huge snowball] but what I don't want to be is a Florida snowball will eventually just melts you never do it that that's the terms the term is Laura snowball however bad okay for look for businesspeople it's like murders but but I have come join us for economy sake it's not that funny that that witty but I'm saying like find me a better term for that I got your diet is as we've had a lot of that we want we want to do a lot of improvements for the show and it's like yeah when we want to get a wife or behind us we would have a digital we want to have a screen over here we can see our live reads or any of that stuff and then have a playback monitor so we can see ourselves but like you don't have to redo the 1000 other Arabia comes this thing that you never get to and so it's it's tough yeah and the longer you go the bigger it seems in sunny bigger than exacerbated in the beginning exactly that's what the snowball and then support a snowball because it just it just don't do it ever yeah you know we we we get a lot of stuff done to all of say objectively we get a lot of stuff done that we do say working to try to do it takes a while but at the same time I listen to so many people because we have so many startups and immature businesses and people asking for advice on time wheat we did have a lot of people that just never ever never ever get around to it some more efficient so how do we do that just starting that are this that but that's my advice for a lot of stuff that you even if you're just curious about some just try to start doing it yet all be afraid of the unknown I think I think you don't know what's coming with their big project you may dislike off while I don't I don't need to know any of that because it's too scary but once you go get into it and you can lay it all out front yourself and you always know what you're up against yeah and and suck at something and try that light all the time right like I want it I do want to go shoot bows for some reason I think I'm going the opposite direction to some keyboards off now I know I've I have a hankering for I want to I want to race cars only not dry stick in a and I want I like to occur I want to go bow hunting like legit bow hunting one day like the shipper you have to be awesome shape to do it yeah like you have to run mountains carrier pack into the woods right right sleep there I don't know why though I've never done I've race like go carts when I was little but neither really I don't have any experience with I just really hit your primal instinct kicking in yeah because them the software I'm getting this note and paler as you can see on video sitting in the office you know of the more I want to go to the other thing yeah go play football now I hear you it's weird that you like I do feel like I do weightlifting for that sort of adrenaline's worship but even that's like wearing on me now righteously I get it done it does have the same endorphin rush that used to go it is used to it that would be the number one thing I'd say if you want to be more efficient you should try to get in shape just like whatever that is for you you want to get like talking II think people do the four snowball word you get this thing were like I've got to get to this kind of yeah body build and when you don't get there after March I think I think Jim's make most of their money in January February oh it's my favorite time of the year seeing all the new faces that come in next week and then by spring break their own, yet each way before that if you had a month yeah because I mean you know I I'm going to the same gym at the same time almost every day I see the same people would you go funk at 5 AM so it's like that that's us different commitment to like yeah but I just don't like being around it's only been in the crowded gym like having to wait on things really you know having a lot of people around yeah what's not really I mean if she if you want at 5 PM and be to be a zoo the worst yes you know and that's what a lot of people do the word about how they're looking at the gym but if you like as cheesy as it is it is good to throw down some goals and like really be specific about it like no for me I need to be able to get I need to stretch and I need to get more flexible and I need to do like yoga once a month at least yeah if not once a week yeah stretching is the number one thing for you making yourself feel good right and I that I know it and I don't do it and it's really it's a comedian self-destructive kind of mind to not go yeah I know but only to just sit in the chair all day yeah it's that they need the stretching desk used applicable to believe they got I think you got some bites I mean no just I just need to not be an acyl and then take 20 minutes and go do it I mean you've got the 20 minutes I know you are it's there the panic sets in I got to get stuff done I can get it while I would get everything done over the long haul if I feel better yeah Chris's days were your body hurts so bad that you're not it is not efficient yeah and the 20 minutes you're using to stretch is not necessarily productive 20 minutes maybe it's something that you're to mess around if you know you have 20 minutes I want to take this a bit picked that right right out due to many an afternoon of design if you get down that rabbit hole like just moving it up and down like to position something yeah with a layer on Photoshop or something you can do that for an hour I know I've been trapped in the matrix for a week on the same ship what I do now is I just go I Fokker what am I trying to do here and then will I been using my watch I literally got yes my doing put your timer on your watch then when it goes off will vibrate at the hands on that another thing I but I think one of the things to be efficient other sleep hygiene's huge I don't like calling it that what we do sleep hygiene I've never heard that oh yeah I've only heard it in my brushing teeth before bed is that of podcast commercials for Casper Leah has for what's up yes going on what you you and Squarespace need to get you should together special Squarespace, Squarespace clearly woo hoo leaving Unilever sites I can reel off right now maybe that's why the wood was pitch about them not being a spy know we never went out we got it to say what's up hey hey hey keep saying Squarespace over and over in the Dragon dictate will pick up on it yeah if you do like these episodes are try to find some keywords were we do try to drop the audio files in Dragon dictate and put in the blog post will get better at it one Suite 120 once we calibrate yes or floors leases it'll be a lot better but for now it is what it is anyway sleep hygiene that's a made-up term by right that's the old yeah that's marketing copy but it's now I've heard it I heard their first in the nets, sleep down well like that is it is it just get enough sleep is that what they're talking so with that rally app it has like little baby goals you can do and I will send you notifications like remember to have like a regular bedtime I will have that remember to shut off all devices like you can and you can check got away with it you can well it will keep you up and it's and I know like I'm trying to think about outside I wonder how many good hours I have in a day like what's my peak right six on like on my laptop you know firstly beer for work and like what's diminishing returns .0 yeah working so it's like if I'm on more than six maybe eight I'm probably it's probably not can work yeah get it in your brain will that's why I try to get on the spin bike or due or work out I'll try to answer emails because at least it feels like I'm doing some claim emails or can be asked anyway you know a lot of it's like yeah Guido hey were here whenever yes you want to meet up it's a lot of that kind of stuff that I try to follow up on but that I need to be more efficient that's one of my things like cluster all these nonurgent if you heard of I is I think Scott Eisenhower it may have to look this up Eisenhower matrix okay if I get this right out on the field very very very business smart basically you put things in the four buckets indigo is a real thing yeah sweet alright so I did learn some business school so you have important and urgent if you have non-urgent and important you have urgent not important which I don't one of those two I don't get in that urgent not important doesn't make sense like what would be urgent that you don't like the sun born that's I think that's when I get conversions of bathroom so my dad I thank you again for like listening to the price of examples and then not important not urgent and you I always forget like to state the power of note, stuff like you got put some stuff in that bucket right a lot of that stuff doesn't matter like trying to like trying to go on fiber and getting something we are done to embarrass my fantasy football friend yeah that I used to do this but is that not important for your mental health but it doesn't it's a waste of time a lot of the time it takes like an hour like a better hour I can spend in some else but doesn't make you happy marginally knows what's the risk reward right so this is all business, logic basic business logic basic pitch business logic real talk but but like it is doing some of the fight OMG I'm constantly, think about like am I wasting this is my best our right we always talk about with clients ago trite working try to get your whole group at the best dollar per hour the rat right right this does make sense for the boss to be doing some of these little things unless that's the only person you know that can really do you so like you have a small business the boss may be the person that actually comes in and cleans up stuff because they're managing everybody else doing the actual work you know I just think about that a lot I don't I don't I don't know the answer what I know that's up to can always come to think about what's my best dollar per hour in this discounts at home to like what's the but you know is it worth watching Netflix do I need to watch it right you know yet to fall asleep when I just turn off and try it out trying to sleep earlier yeah but then you won't know how picky blinders ends than what PT finds it's been on there forever unlike you all get to that year and I'll get to that now I'm still stuck on the punisher and I lie liked it the punisher of all my God I had a plan in the background for like a day and I was traumatized yeah the little violent exactly yeah yeah that's the punisher dialogue kinda sucks to it's and yeah it's a lot of cheesy ship yeah I mean it's going to be that the guy the guy who plays Frank Castle is pretty good yeah he's a good I didn't want to like him but he was on the walking dead so never so yeah don't that's this is my wife's litmus test for if you're a good judge of TV like the walking dead PCS really yeah dude it's not good anyways I out I want to see Dunkirk that's more me I want to see that stuff you haven't seen it real life stuff so be more efficient 2018 how about some productivity apps release can do that right some so you get the Apple Lodge maybe you got some, smartwatch I think Samsung has a good one now I don't know all the ins and outs of it if anybody does have any hacks send it our way or comment on this post I mean just the stuff that comes with the Apple watch timers and things for stretching I use the time countdown timer all the time yeah all that stuff masturbation right where you get caught kind of things conventional yeah oh you will get it to the point hold it building to something called hope it's like what's the is it I don't Braveheart hello Canada hello been doing a lot of war movies may be maybe Troy thinking of but either way like wheat we been doing you got a live scribe pen and notebook the other Bluetooth pen you like and it yeah is in the during the call we are on a day so my phone's dead so have you linked it up though so it can discover your text learn change your handwriting into text yeah it's all that's I mean mine is standard with that I guess here's a little bit older mines an older model but it the software doesn't now my handwriting's like a ransom note so it's kind of tough I got a calibrate that between Dragon dictate and that in in this because I do like right I like writing it will help me memorize stuff I don't I also don't want to write too much in a meeting because of not avoid paying attention so try to write like you know bullet points Rob Eli: let me write this down right now go yeah the writing of the net with your hands to even if I want to call Illinois like I have things I can write down Evernote you like I can write it that you type it in but is not the same as writing it with my hand for some reason and will not just for me either one thing I got back to is and this is a little bit duplicative and I need to figure this out is hey I want to find an app to do list app that my wife and I can see it just reminds us of certain stuff yet get wonder list W you and is not good you're so I don't so I don't know if that's good for home right will like we have our grocery list on there it's linked up if you have sent me an even bigger store but put it on there you have a referral code that's another thing for if were given out stuff you might as well you know if you go in your app the Avenue for a friend white check that out about our syllabus for you but you got all kinds of goods I want to get down to the point were nonessential grocery items I want those to come in automatically through we have shipped here I want my dog food baby formula I liked him diapers all these things that we know we need we could probably your mark every enough three weeks we need this and then I don't worry about it Lucian do you want to go the grocery store yeah you can do Amazon subscription services we do for diapers or yeah we we might we might do that just because it is like those things that set like milk those things that that site where symbols or kinases on me when I get or meat that you will look at if I go to the grocery store but yet all the other ship but it's yeah it's that when you don't have drivers it's T-shirt time yeah and the guessers T-shirts are using dads but I mean like it's that thing of okay what are these little hats I can do it at half at home in the office to help out I don't like the Alexa she oh shoot you she she will gotta pay Alexa baby she doesn't like ISR she's up to sleep with one eye open always you know I don't want one of those at my house honestly yeah how was freaking out my family over Christmas tone of my in like dirt there is already news articles that these things are orb taken the data of what you're saying to put into advertise hell yeah they are I mean if you think that if you think it doesn't listen until you say hey Lexa how did you hear you say hey Alexa it's listening before like what what yeah I'm here real talk pretend I'm truly been the we have back pain we even paid $50 for that it it's either that technology is either worth like a thousand to five straight up or it's like I did know Samsung phones the whole business model is so that Google can get all that data to try to target you yes that's what the phones are so cheap yeah all that technology so cheap yeah I heard I heard that on want to say Rogan's podcasts talking some someone with tech guys like this month but it was like oh yeah that makes perfect sense why would Samsung dominate the market for cell phones that's like the 660 6065% now between women Apple and like 00 they lowered the price in there to make it up in the backend and no one realizes yeah apples do the same thing but they they don't have the straight line date to Google you know apples they love the same infrastructure yet to capitalize on rule yeah right the immediate civilian way right today sent streamlined right into their own entity but anyways I don't have a wonder list referral sales then we give you I don't know all these hello anyway here's here's another little thing pretty much any app you use if you're given and now they usually have a refer a friend discount so if it's one of these monthly subscription you pay for apps I I had to train myself to do this but like all we oh for sales the business development if you want to like a good dashboard you should check out this Pipe Dr., Apple use it gives you visual kind of a marketing funnel that you know who's interested who you talk to you're trying to close on and I just like that visual and I got a hold on let me go get that referral code not send it out as it is being like yours that you know yeah and then you get a month off or whatever Lumley Weber will if we find one I'll put it in the notes a wonder list that's good for home I'd say because I rumor checking for business insight on the distal do what I needed to do yeah I mean it's it's a straightforward passage projects right yeah with before I forget with live scribe you can ping it to Evernote the idea was to take a bloop Bluetooth painter talk about correct thinking live scribe and then you and there's moleskin notebooks if you like those by the way the Bluetooth notebooks never thought about that the hardbound ones but I may have ever thought about if I like moleskin you don't pull some people like him I used to write all my jokes and those because they that they had the how many moles had to die a lot when cares man don't make don't make it what is it two don't make a molehill and no mountain mountain and moleskin sober song or draw an arrow to Evernote an elephant never forgets that's their logo so what you can do is it'll transfer your handwriting into text and you can make a punch list that can automatically go to is Indu which is our business test manager that we haven't been using this once I got offkilter at that it is hard to we can afford so they they do turn it it's you get ADD with apps is always one better well yeah if you never learn how to use more than 25% of then it's not really smart but then you can take that punchlist and you can also hit it over to our project management system which is right WRI K which also can communicate to all these can communicate slack because Slack isn't just for chatting that should be our communication hub notifications all that stuff you so now we have now rebuilding this kind of like coverage in case something messes up right see what I if I heard this I would think men adding four apps would be more efficient and it sounds like it's it's overwhelming itself is not efficient but if you spend a little bit of time and get it right then it's automated from there on out and your love what I write philosophically a look at this way right like we got to figure this out to get and I was talk that always tell us what clients were doing like operations permittivity stuff it's going to be a little bit harder before it gets easier right right so it's gonna suck right now what we should what you and I should be doing is creating a map over our whiteboard in figuring out this like efficiency I want to do it, right after we get off in a couple minutes so at least we just started the Sally called back later no doesn't the right it was amazing call back just start will just started her money word-of-mouth is that we can't be dispensing advice and disco funk it's theater of the mind law is a joke it do it anything else to be more productive in 2018 anything that's been on your mind yeah okay so the other app that I use a lot I used to wonder list for dislike my daily I got to do this today I have a today list do this this is right then I have an app called habit list and that one allows you to just put in something like stretching you put in stretching I want to do I want to stretch be very times a week yeah and then when you do it that they the little button and it's in there and it keeps track of whether or not you're you're keeping up with your habits so I use it for all kinds lifting weights running in all the stuff that it's like you can cut and get away from you to Billy was last time I did do that and then you might pray five times a day right things pop an awful time you know it's easy to get away from your habits and remembering what you what makes you feel good you know way if you can't quantify it really none I members I need to quantify I was thinking of anytime I sit here make me feel good that I think of a monstrous ball don't know you Halle Berry I remember telling Bob Thorton yeah maybe feel right yeah nailed it I hope that I hope that production meeting Ernest Billings brush notes in the tally very low what would what would you know that I don't know do it with a male voice like you don't know it's a like gritty draining yeah what habit list is good I I've tried that at one point again I need vocalize almost outside like externally and go okay I'll get it download this app only use it yet is almost like 19 knee was a 90% of apps or something that or downloaded open once never used again see the good thing about habilis I think it pay for things like two or three bucks even then should shoot in the sky man I was looking at all the subscriptions I had for here in home this week and was like on to here's a user one trim if you're that yeah it's not sample site but it is no it basically you know if you're comfortable with putting in if people like mint were you can kind aggregate all your transactions and it'll note, more or less over time as you check things off it's good for your taxes to it'll be like you're spending way too much in meals I and so that's a good kind – four for that trim will look up your cable bill in all your stuff so you got put in the your banking account I did from this place are checking in our credit card for here and it was little go oh you're paying too much for frontier yeah a little one we negotiate some better for you oh yeah and so dates for you so they make a little vague if they get that negotiation okay that's out that's how they make money and it does it all on its own how does it I don't know I haven't gotten to the point were were actually negotiating but that that's the big cell and apparently like you guys know the deal with all the cable or Internet providers you basically especially with cable TV you can basically talk a minute like given it to you for a dollar yeah if if use if you're tenacious enough and I guess this cuts, cuts that yes yours with I'm done with you and then the negotiations begin hey want one thing you should get from your Internet provider and that's on my punch list is better router because these things suck after like a year of use and they become outdated so you can call Bob Ingo hey I need to upgrade the router and the going anyone in the you be like well Wi-Fi is now a lot better yeah and they probably want that because they've got a deal with the router company Macon Chittenden Nate takers back recycle it yeah making money will the region have to ask is because you don't they don't want you to use more bandwidth than you have to probably so I would say the reverse I would say like because if you look at your upload download speed that states you pay for hundred and hundred whatever that deal is your upload speeds always a lot slower on Wi-Fi and most people on Wi-Fi free hardline that's the only way we get 100 hundred yeah so like so I don't think it behooves them to be able to move more data from here like net neutrality is, that the whole thing yeah but the new router might be more efficient on the island and they can listen to your calls bitter over where the hell yeah yeah that to thanks the dirty side of them probably want to stop greater routers yeah the mean there's there's this as it will never get the answer to that herself utilize 100 other stuff in coaxial cables that can listen you now you know that I didn't know the rest will have those yeah will you have to have the cable to get I guess at coaxial cable to get the Internet in your house a lot of time and then people either have like old ones left there from last person or but I don't know where that is in that I don't think it's around like very prevalent I just think it's a plague in South Korea where everything is technically and I terms and conditions man those things are to get something to happen with that because there's just too much sneaky ship that people are signing up for an advantage of everybody it's great that there needs to be a law enacted that says it can only be this long or whatever which I think they try to do a couple times and they work around it was too long with thrilling and that's about all politicians do they just go what is this you can you write you guys read this for me yeah you're right actually need law to make that will to make laws shorter and then once that's in than they do for some time as a country okay well look we had glory years here in the US this is a sad day for good we had a good run what's what's get some music going out Remer at tax time is coming up hit up hello freshman school fresh books.com/let like you sweat to get hooked up but you feel good and you want to say anything to the peeps have a happy new year people don't make a New Year's resolution just try to be good take a lifestyle every day wonder list habit list all that list we'll see Israeli

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linssikeittomies · 7 years

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Apocalypse. In 50 Years. Chapter 1: Virgin Allison

I’m lucky. Always have been. Me, my parents, their parents, and their parents as far back as we can remember have always been lucky: none of them have been seriously ill, gotten into a serious accident, or suffered major financial setbacks. We don’t have any hereditary diseases. No one has died before their 80th birthday. There hasn’t been a single divorce.

I had a good upbringing, a stable family situation and a healthy diet. My parents bought me an apartment, I got in to college on my first try, I have hobbies I love and time for them, summer is just around the corner and we’re planning a vacation to Hawaii, everything is great and I should have nothing to worry about.

But every second of the day I feel this anxious tension in my chest.

I always feel like I’m doing something wrong, or I’m supposed to be doing something else. Something is not correct, and I don’t know how to correct it. Something’s expected of me, but I don’t know what. I’ve tried going to church and mosque more, I’ve tried doing more sports, I’ve tried volunteer work, arts, science, philosophy, psychology, travelling, soul searching, nothing works. That nagging feeling just won’t go away! Sometimes it’s right there on the surface, sometimes it sinks to the background, but it’s there every second of the day and my sanity can’t take another month of this feeling! I might be the first person in my family line to have a mental breakdown.

There’s some kind of sound… What is that, I don’t like it, I don’t like beeping when it’s so warm. Just let me find that last bunny. It got scared of the sound. Aww, I found it, right on my desk, the alarm…

Oh, the sound was my alarm clock. Damn brilliant, time to wake up already. Whose bright idea was it to force people up before they were ready? The professors can’t like being woken at the ass crack of dawn either. Just stop having morning lectures, people! Nobody wants them! I’m the nicest girl this country has ever seen and I’m getting an impulse to murder a guy. I’ve been getting up at 5:45 the whole week, maybe I should’ve gone the other route and just not slept at all. Would’ve made it easier to drag myself out of my soft, warm, loving bed… I’ve been trying to clean up my language, but I just have to curse some right now. Gives me enough anger to push myself up. Makes me feel bad about myself, too.

The classic white and blue sailor fuku has seen a lot of use this past month, but since it still feels marginally less wrong than all my other clothes, it’ll see a little more. I brush my hair while I wait for the frying pan to heat up enough fry my omelet, then pick at it and end up only eating half. Ughhh, why did I stay up reading that fanfic last night, again? I’ve read it like ten times already, I already know damn well what’s gonna happen! I get so queasy when I’m tired… I should probably pack the rest of this omelet up and take it to school ‘cause I’ll just get hungry an hour later.

I manage to cover the bags under my eyes with make-up, and since for once I was smart and packed my bag ready last night, I just grab it and get out the door. I’ve barely closed it when my next door neighbor Ricky comes out his. He’s really nice and kinda cute, but his obvious crush on me makes our relationship a little awkward. Not that I don’t reciprocate – he’s easy on the eyes, super cute with all those freckles and dimples and supposedly carefree hair combined with a caring and shy personality. So yeah, I once considered dating him, but the overwhelming sense of WRONG! WRONG! had unfortunately made that impossible. It always flares up particularly bad when something romance-related comes to my mind, maybe I’m just extremely aromantic without realizing it? It seems being friends with him is a-ok, however. And it’s got its perks.

“Oh, morning, Ally. Did you like the cookies I gave you yesterday?” he asks, as if there was ever any doubt. “I think the cinnamon made them a little too Christmassy.”

“Not at all, they were great! I don’t get how you make them soft in the center, whenever I try they just dry up.”

“Might be too much flour”, he theorizes as we go down the stairs. He moves his messenger bag from his free side to between the two us – I’ve noticed he does that a lot, I think it’s some kind of unconscious attempt at putting up a barrier because he feels so self-conscious around me. “Or maybe you keep the oven on for too long. I always turn it off when they’re close to ready.”

I almost ask for a baking lesson, but again the WRONG flares up so I give up on the idea.

“You might be on to something, I’ll try that next time.”

He’s bad with words, so he tries to find something to say but can’t. He scratches his arm absently and opens his mouth only to close it immediately. Our conversations are rarely smooth, and these kinds of pauses are the norm. I don’t mind them that much – no point in saying words solely for the sake of making noise, after all. But Ricky seems to find them incredibly uncomfortable and a sign of failure, so often I just say something completely meaningless to help him out, give him some ideas.

“How’s school been lately?”

Ricky’s a journalism major, and has a huge collection of magazines and newspapers at his place. I wonder why he didn’t go into confectionary since he’s so good at it already. Maybe he prefers to keep it a hobby? Not even with a gun to my head would I animate for a living, even though I spend like 90 percent of my free time staring at anime.

“Nothing special”, he mumbles. “A lot of work… It, uhh, might get a little worse now that my computer broke…”

“Aww crap, I feel for you!”

“Thanks… I… spilled milk on it last night”, he admits embarrassed. He likes drinking milk with cookies, he must’ve been eating those cinnamon cookies while working on something. “It’s probably busted even if I can get it dry.”

“I can lend you my tablet if it’s any help.”

“Thanks, but… all my files were on the hard drive.”

Oh jeez, he didn’t even save the most important ones to a cloud? This guy’s just hopeless. I don’t get how he’s managed to stay alive living on his own for two years. A cute face doesn’t help much with keeping track of bills and switching fuses.

We part ways on the street and I dig out my headphones. My bus route is noisy as hell, thanks to all the “edgy” teens going to high school. For some incomprehensible reason so many of them think it’s entirely necessary to loudly laugh at the worst non-jokes and gossip about this bitch and that bitch and those assholes, while also apparently hating each other judging by the amount insults they throw at each other, but still they hang out together so I guess they really are friends…? I just don’t get them. I was never like that in high school, I actually liked my friends.

Speaking of which, I get a new message from ~BFF~.

Good morning! Saida says, and sends a selfie. Seems she’s been clothes shopping, as I’ve never seen that tunic before. The hijab is old, but it’s draped pretty elaborately. It looks really good on her, red’s really her color, and the tunic’s greenish gray complements it surprisingly well.

Woah nice! Looks great on u (^o^)b

Thanks^^ Took ten tries to drape it good, I’m thinking wearing it like this for the premiere. Only a week from now! SO excited! >o<

Grrrrreat peeps gonna luv it \(^-<)

Keep both thumbs up for me^^

Saida’s an aspiring playwright and works on a lot of amateur productions. This will the first play she wrote completely on her own. I’ve been to a couple of their rehearsals, so I know the story is about a woman whose father is murdered and she vows to catch the perp – but in the process learns that her father was actually a terrible person and was killed in revenge. I didn’t want too many spoilers so I haven’t read the script.

Can we go togthr im so proud of u (/>3>)/

Of course! We’re going for a dinner afterwards so you can come with us too

Aww, I wanted u all to myself orz

If only you were a guy you couldXD Too bad :p

Deciding to tease her about this raises the wrong feeling back to the surface, but the opportunity is just too delicious.

Ill keep that in mind (^3^)b

Oh jeez, in hindsight that was a bad joke (/-_-\)

U get im gonna teez u about this all ur life k:DDDD

In hindsight that was a REALLY bad joke -_- Have fun AT SCHOOL you little devil!>:D

Aww orz

She barely has classes this week, not that it means she actually has less work – just that she’s supposed to working on assignments at home. Unlike me, she’s really diligent and actually does her homework over a few days instead of the previous night.

The professor is late, as usual. Students don’t have keys for the classrooms, so we have to wait outside. It can get pretty cramped, especially at places like this: at the end of a narrow hallway, with the smelliest toilet in the building at the other end. Everyone tries their hardest to squeeze out of the way of the stench. At least in the summer it gets a little better – in the winter the pipes get frozen, and when the water doesn’t flow, the smell really starts melting off faces.

I fail at stifling a yawn, and a classmate gives me a sympathetic look. It’s so hard to stay awake when I’m not on the move, any small break just reminds my brain of how tired I am, and then it wants to go back to sleep. It even forgets about the horrible stink floating in the hallway, if only for a moment. When my head drops and I snap back to attention, it suddenly fills my nose again. I’ve repeated the process about five times already.

In fact, I’m right in the process of drifting back to sleep again when I notice her. The pale, young woman dressed all in black, sporting abyssal black hair and glowing, ember-like eyes. She stares at me intently, like a hawk hunting a rabbit, and emanates a malicious aura. Everything about her is… dark, somehow. Like she’s hard to make out, and even the bright lamps seem dimmer around her. She looks human, but in an… elongated way. Her face, her body, and especially her fingers, look a little too long and a little too spindly. She looks like a daddy long legs. I can’t shake the mental image of her creeping up the wall and skittering away in to some slight crack. I’m not used to being nervous – I consider myself a particularly brave person, but this lady is giving me the creeps! I find myself crossing my arms at my chest to get at least some kind of barrier between us, despite her standing several meters away. It’s not far enough. If possible, I would rather put several countries between us – but as it stands, all I have is half a meter of hallway.

Her eyes stare at me unblinkingly as I squeeze closer to the door, their dim glimmer drowning out all other light. I can’t look away – her gaze holds me prisoner, and laughs at my fear.

Then a light weight settles on my shoulder, and her thin lips curve into a sharp, sadistic facsimile of a smile and she whispers

FOUND YOU

before turning around and walking out. All feelings of dread melt away with her gone, and I turn to look at whoever defended me.

It’s a hand. A translucent, poorly defined, watery hand that peters out of existence at the wrist. Seeing it floods me with tranquility. It twinkles like moonwake and grips my shoulder reassuringly before fading away.

…

Wow, I must be really tired! Guess those five hour nights finally caught up with me! As interesting as this awake-sleeping was, I’d rather not repeat it anytime soon. Or, like, ever. I have got to catch up on sleepy times this weekend.

By afternoon I’ve almost forgotten about the creepy lady and disembodied hand. It’s Friday, I’m too excited about finally having the time to finish my Ayato cosplay to think about sleep deprivation hallucination thingies. If I hurry, I should be able to finish the coat, maybe work on the pants some more. I need to get some more glue and find the right kind of buttons, the crafts store is still open so I’ll stop by there before going to my parents’ –

“Hey, Ally!”

A classmate drags me out of my thoughts.

“Ellie decided to throw an impromptu birthday party to herself tomorrow at her place, wanna come with us?” Lisa continues. Bryan is at her side, while Lotte and Yao come up on my right.

“She’s invited a lot of her other friends, too! Place is gonna be crawling with cute chicks!” Brian informs me as he pumps his fists. He then seems to remember he’s talking to a girl. “…Or guys, if that’s your thing”, he adds meekly.

Lisa firmly shakes her head.

“Her place can’t fit more than twenty people, and our class is gonna be at least thirteen of those people.”

“Yeah, the afterparty is what’s filled with hotties!” Lotte pipes in with stars in her eyes. Our class doesn’t actually share a lot of courses, but we try to stay in contact with each other. We have a whatsapp group, and sometimes we plan parties or get-togethers. I try to take part every now and then, but so often everyone just wants to go drinking I don’t see the point in going.

“Don’t worry, Ellie said her place is an alcohol-free zone for tonight because she doesn’t want a repeat of last year!” Lisa assures me. “It’s just gonna be music and games until we go clubbing.”

Ellie is pretty nice, and the only person I kind of consider to be a friend other than Saida. I might make friends easily, but keeping them is a genuine problem. If we hadn’t been neighbors all our lives, I don’t think I would still be friends with even Saida, either. So I’d like to at least try and hold on to Ellie while we’re still in the same school.

“Alright, I’ll be there!”

“WOOOO!!!” Lotte screams and everyone else flinches.

“Jesus Christ Lotte, control yourself!” Yao snaps at her, but of course she doesn’t give a damn. Instead, she starts dancing right there in the hallway and singing some pop song off-key. I know for a fact she’s not drunk because she acts like that even in class, but it’s still almost impossible to believe. Yao grumbles quietly and facepalms in shame before walking off without another word.

“See you tomorrow!” are Lisa’s parting words, and she smiles brightly as she waves bye. Bryan punches her lightly on the shoulder and she silently pumps her fist. They’re so happy that most of the class will be there. We used to this kind of stuff a lot more often in our first year, but then summer break came and everyone drifted apart.

“Wear something nice... but not too nice”, Lotte advises, winking conspicuously. “That’d be a bit too scary.”

“Scary how?” I ask puzzled. She just blows me a kiss before WOOTing again and pseudo-dancing out the door. In a way I almost envy her utter indifference towards social norms, being her must be so freeing. I can’t imagine the tiniest worry ever enters her head. For sure she never feels anything she does is wrong.

I popped in the crafts store on the way to my parents’ – on Friday’s we always have dinner together. This week it was dad’s turn to cook, so I helped him make the asam laksa, after hiding the curry- he always tries to put in too much, and mom’s so white she can barely salt her food.

“Bismillah”, dad and I say.

“God is great, by his hand we are all fed. Amen”, mom and I say.

My parents are great at working around their faiths. They both let the other do their own thing while holding onto their own. They never tried to teach me one faith was wrong. I came to think of God and Allah as different aspects of the same entity, in a way, and had no problems growing up bi-religious. As a child God felt closer, but after graduating middle school I became more drawn to Allah, maybe partly because of Saida. That’s when we really started being good friends, despite being neighbors since birth and always being in the same class. I even wore a hijab for a while, like her, though only for, like, ten months maybe? It wouldn’t have been even that long had my parents not been kind of worried, and had I not been a rebellious little shit. I wanted to make them squirm a bit. Imagine that, an Ally who wasn’t a total goody two shoes.

“We’ve been thinking about getting a dog”, dad tells me. “I think a Maltese would be best, they’re small and playful. A dog should be social and playful, right? Real companions. I have some breeders scouted already.”

He’s super excited about this dog. One might even say suspiciously excited…

“You’re suffering from empty nest syndrome”, I quip and chuckle.

“Nonsense, I’ve always wanted a dog.”

“You never mentioned dogs before Ally moved out, honey”, mom reminds playfully.

“What? Sure I did. The house was just too small.”

Mom rubs her chin mock-thoughtfully.

“The man doth protest too much, methinks.”

“He really doth.”

Dad gets flustered and still tries to claim he’s doing no such thing. Everyone and their grandma knows he has a soft spot for anything cute and fluffy but he still likes to pretend he doesn’t. Oh, that pink teddy bear on that shelf? It was a gift for my wife, she loves things like that. I heard your cat had kittens, can I bring my daughter over to see them? What’s a few mice, they’ll be gone by winter, getting mouse traps is too much hassle.

We had to call an exterminator for the mice. In a few months they had taken over most of the kitchen.

“Well now neither will get to name the puppy.”

Aww, and I was so looking forward to that yappy little shedding machine. I would have named it Fluffy of the Incessant Noise.

“I’m thinking O’Malley. That could then be shortened to either Max or Madsie.”

“He hasn’t been this excited since your youngest cousin was born”, mom says while nudging dad with her elbow. Dad claims the dog would be mostly for mom, so she won’t get lonely while dad’s at work. Mom says Of course, honey, and lets it slide. She has a part-time job, she’s only home alone for nine hours a few days a week.

I leave when it starts getting dark outside. I live close to my parents, so I decide to walk home. It’s getting a little chilly outside, but that only means the air is fresh and getting under the warm covers will feel that much better. It’s quiet – oddly quiet, it’s only quarter past eight. Why are all the lights already off? I could get a few people being asleep already, but the whole neighborhood? It’s not a blackout, the streetlights are on. Weird.

I’m starting to get a little nervous. Logically thinking there’s nothing worrying around, but my gut keeps telling me something is wrong more insistently than usually. And it’s a dangerous wrong, not the this-is-not-expected-of-you-wrong.

I pick up my pace a bit, and that’s when the streetlamps start going out, too. Each one I pass under fizzles out after me. The feeling of wrong is replaced by GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! In a blind panic I start running, but then the lamps start breaking before I even reach them! Hot glass shards rain over me as I’m left in total darkness in a large city that never sleeps!

No, that not entirely correct… There is still one light on. A single streetlamp a dozen meters away illuminates a small patch of sidewalk. Something is standing under it. Some kind of dark creature, with long talons and glinting fangs. I can hear it chuckling darkly… and it charges at me!

On instinct I put up my dukes, only realizing after the fact that it’s probably the one choice even worse than simply running – I’ve never hit anyone in my life and would just break each of my fingers before getting mauled to death… Shit! Okay, okay – but at least this way, I can die on my own terms – bring it on, bitch!

But just as quickly as it attacked, it is defeated. A blindingly bright spear of light shoots down from the sky, piercing the creature’s head clean in the center and nailing it to the asphalt. The resulting shockwave drops me on my ass on the ground. The spear stays standing, unbearably bright to look at but barely illuminating the surroundings at all. And the creature lies there motionless, not bleeding, but it’s so obviously dead I almost want to go up to it and investigate a little. My wrong radar goes off, though, so I give up the idea.

And, well, I wouldn’t have gotten that far anyway, since now a watery, half-there hand fades into view around the hilt of the spear – the same hand from school. This doesn’t feel like a dream, and in a dream I sure wouldn’t wonder if this was all a dream, but I just have to consider the possibility. Because if this is reality, I’ll have to readjust my beliefs on ghosts and I really, really don’t want them to be real!

A faint sound of flutes drifts in as the hand lifts up the spear and offers it to someone invisible. The corpse of the demonic beast quietly crumbles to dust, and all the lights flicker back on. The invisible someone starts forming a body – at first as poorly defined as the watery hand, like a half-remembered memory, but soon solidifying into a slender, paper white arm, alabaster robe, platinum blonde curls… and massive, pure white feathery wings flaring out from this picture perfect woman’s back. A softly glowing halo hums into life above her head as a single, clear ring of a church bell tolls.

If – if this isn’t an angel, nothing is. There I am, on my ass on the pavement before an emissary of God, and I can’t even manage to not gawk at her like some fucking moron!

The angel takes the spear in her hand, the watery hand waves to me and disappears, and still I can’t manage to even close my fucking mouth!

“I take it you are unharmed?” the angel asks me, her voice pure and melodic and all that poetic crap, and all I say is “Praise be to God”, like some generic and zero-thought-process and out-of-habit phrase like that is going to do any good in this situation. THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY, DAMN YOU BRAIN!

“Get off your ass already!” a new voice huffs and startles me enough to actually make me jump despite not even standing. On my left, there is a lesbian – honestly, that’s what best describes her! She’s wearing red flannel, for fuck’s sake! A super short lesbian, she’s almost a head shorter than even me… What the hell – heck is she doing here? Can’t she see the angel standing right there? Why isn’t she boggled out of her mind at the incredible sight?! It feels so right to be in awe of her – wait… It feels… right? Why… why isn’t anything wrong now? I… This is so confusing. Where did the wrong go?

The angel graciously offers her hand to this idiotic creature, and all I can do is stutter out a simple thank you. Partly it’s my confusion at the inexplicable disappearance of wrong, and partly because she is - and I’m not shitting or embellishing this in the slightest - the most beautiful woman I could have imagined even in my wildest dreams. It’s not just how she looks, it’s also how she feels – and yes, she does look stunning, but she also emanates this aura of peace, reverence and contentment. That aura, combined with her perfectly symmetrical, slim face, large eyes in multiple hues of blue and nearly translucent, evenly toned skin puts Aphrodite, Venus and Istar all to shame.

“Thank you”, I say automatically. The angel smiles and I swear my heart skips like ten beats. Not only is she indescribably beautiful, she’s also insanely tall – I don’t even reach her armpit. As I stare up at her like some love-struck idiot, her face subtly changes – her eyes go from double-lid to monolid, her nose flattens a bit, and her cheekbones travel upwards. She’s turned from completely Caucasian to part East Asian – like me. She skin still stays just as pale, though, it even faintly glows a white light.

“We need to go, asshats!” the lesbian snaps. I reluctantly turn to look at her instead of the wonder in front of me. Her hair is blonde as well, but instead of freely flowing long waves, it’s a straight, long bob and pulled into a ponytail. Her eyes are an even turquoise, and that’s one of the only two things worth mentioning about her looks – she’s impossibly plain. She’s so plain you can’t call her ugly, not even standing next to the angel. The other thing worth mention is that bitch face of epic proportions. How she can be anything but awestruck around the angel is beyond me, but that look makes it pretty clear she despises nothing on this planet as much as she does me.

I thought the angel would be incapable of negative emotions, but even she gives a slight glare at the lesbian, like she’s being inappropriate.

“Yes, it would be best to move on before more demons arrive.”

That thing was really a demon? Not just some monster? Why was it after me? And why am I important to warrant an honest to God angel to save me? Not that I don’t appreciate it, it’s just weird that a nobody like me gets special treatment. My family’s not important, and I’m not even planning a religious career.

The angel and the lesbian start walking towards my place, and I don’t question how they know where I live. I just follow, legs weak, suddenly noticing how funny the short lesbian looks next to the giant angel. As I stifle the chuckle, I realize how rude I’m being, and to a celestial being at that!

“Ah! My name’s Ally binti Badraan! Nice to meet you!”

Both women turn to look at me, but keep walking.

“We knew that”, the angel replies smiling gently. “You may call me Rapture.”

We both look at the lesbian expectantly, and she blanks for a good five seconds. What, doesn’t she know her own name?

“…Meta. Got any smokes?”

Rapture looks like she wants to facepalm, but it wouldn’t fit her image.

“Uhh, sorry, no. I don’t smoke.”

“What are you even good for?” Meta huffs. Excuse me? What the hell kind of manners are those?! She was totally raised in a barn!

“I apologize for my subordinate”, Rapture grumbles. “It may be difficult to believe she is also an angel, but she is capable despite her personality.”

What?! The lesbian is also an angel? But – she’s nothing like Rapture! She seems like the furthest thing from angel excluding demons! Rapture, yeah, she could only be an angel, but you can’t tell me that Plain McBitchy belongs in the same genus!

“I’m here to fight demons, not to baby these bonebags”, Meta comments with a sneer. I decide not to bother with her, and address Rapture.

“So you’re powers, am I correct?”

Rapture smiles so bright I swear the whole street lights up. I hate being a broken record, but she is so beautiful! I might have to look away soon, wouldn’t want my eyes to overload.

“Oh, good to see you have read your Bible! It has been very long since I met a true believer!”

I don’t have the heart to tell her I haven’t even read the whole Bible… I skipped like 70 percent of the Old Testament. I read all the angel stuff on Wikipedia.

Come to think of it, does this prove Christianity to be the only true religion? What am I going to tell dad and Saida?

I’m just about to ask, when the angels – no, I just can’t consider the lesbian an actual angel – suddenly turn invisible. We’re right at the corner of my apartment building, and I hear someone walking towards us. I don’t want to panic, because for sure Rapture wouldn’t have left me to fend for myself if it was a demon, but can you blame me for imagining the worst when I was a second away from death mere minutes ago?

I couldn’t hide behind the dumpster fast enough, and Ricky caught me at a very embarrassing situation.

“Did you drop something?” he asks. I feel my face growing red as I try to nonchalantly brush my clothes clean and look like I didn’t just dive on the ground.

“Oh, yeah, my… thing. Girl thing.”

“I have two sisters, you can say tampon”, he laughs as he throws in his trash. I am so glad he doesn’t realize I made it sound like my tampon just fell out. “Nice evening, right? If it weren’t for the lights, you could see the stars clearly.”

Yeah, the sky is clear and there’s only a light breeze in the air. I look up at the sky, but can only see a few dots here and there. I’ve always wanted to go in the countryside somewhere at night so I could see the starry sky in all its glory. It’s just that driving in complete darkness in a strange place would be a little too scary, and I am not sleeping in a car.

I catch Ricky looking at me with a slight blush on his face, and wait for the wrong to set in to discourage any kind of romantic notion. But it doesn’t come. What happened to it? It always comes at moments like this!

“Um…” Ricky starts, wrings his hands, looks at the ground, looks at me, and starts again. “I – I cooked up something really good, if you’d, maybe, like to come in and, I don’t know, watch some anime?”

Where is that sense of wrong? I feel completely fine with saying yes to this ridiculously obvious date. It’s like it’s suddenly okay to like someone.

I – I kind of want to see what happens. It doesn’t have to lead to anything serious, I can just leave if wrong returns. Claim I didn’t realize this is a date.

I’m gonna do it!

“Yeah, okay! I got some mochi at my place, you liked the green tea ones, right?”

Ricky can’t believe I just said yes. His smile is so wide you could fit a camel in his mouth, despite him clearly trying to play it cool, like he’s a smooth player.

“Those were the kind you got me for Christmas? Where did you buy them?” Aww, he remembered! He hadn’t looked too happy with his first taste of mochi, but I guess they grew on him.

“The Chinese store on West street, they got many kinds.”

“Never thought I’d say I like green tea”, Ricky jokes and stops even trying to hide his joy.

“My favorite is durian, smells horrible but tastes heavenly.”

Does that count as an accidental pun? Rapture and Meta are still around, aren’t they? Just invisible. What’s up with that, anyway?

“Was that the purple one, or –“

Ricky is cut off by Meta suddenly appearing right at his side and making him jump away in surprise.

“Will you two just get ON WITH IT!” she yells exasperated. “I’m TIRED, I need my SMOKES, and I’m not getting EITHER while you two keep standing here FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER!”

Ricky stares at her in terrified silence, and I can’t think of anything to say either. Meta huffs again – seems to be her thing.

“Do you at least have smokes?”

Ricky shakes his head timidly.

“Well of FUCKING COURSE you don’t! Fucking useless garbage! Thirsty little bitch who probably still wets the bed…”

“What the hell Meta?!” I yell. Yeah, I’m a nice person, but I’m not gonna just stand there while this bitch insults my friend! Angel or not, she needs to show some basic respect! “You can’t just blow up like that! Apologize!”

She stares at me in stunned silence, and I can just hear the Did this bitch honestly-! Uh-huh, you bet your ass I did! “Ricky’s a nice guy, he doesn’t deserve you giving him shit for not enabling your bad habits!”

Uh-oh, bad move. Meta goes from disbelief to fite me! in under a second.

“You realize he probably beats off to you every single night? Nice guys like him watch the most fucked up Asian bondage porn”, Meta shoots, and stomps inside.

“She’s wrong!” Ricky instantly squeaks. “I don’t even watch normal person! I swear! SHE’S LYING!”

…and he escapes. I doubt this date is happening anymore.

When I get inside, Meta is already sprawled out on the couch. Rapture becomes visible the second I close the door. She begins a long, furious rant that same second.

“Meta! Your work ethics are deplorable! We are under strict orders not to show ourselves to normal humans! You mouth off any human you meet and spend your time smoking and rotting your brain with TV and lazing around and drinking and nothing I say ever gets through to you! Get up! What a fine image you are giving your client!”

Rapture is a lot less angelic when she rants at someone she clearly considers beneath her. That feel-good aura is completely gone and her face contorts in inhuman ways. Her voice also is also slowly losing its melodic qualities and turning more and more shrill every ten seconds. And she talks for many ten seconds. Wow, can she flap her lips! She just keeps going and going and going about the innumerable flaws Meta has, while the object of this rant does nothing to hide her prissiness though she never defends herself, either. Guess she’s used to this, and knows the fastest way to get it over with is not to argue. I may not like her, and maybe I do agree with Rapture on many points, but it’s still overkill to put someone down for almost ten minutes.

“Please calm down, Rapture, I’m sure she got the message.”

Despite this being such a meek protest, she actually turns to face me – her eyes have turned black and her face is considerably more angular and sharp than earlier. She returns back to normal in seconds, like she forgot I was here and tries to pretend she didn’t just chew out her partner. Her huge wings knock off two glasses on my table, which thankfully don’t break, and after some deliberation she decides her visage is angelic enough without the wings. She sheds them by letting the feathers fall of in a dramatic cascade. Fortunately they fall through the floor and don’t just pile up for me to clean up.

“I assume you would like an explanation of the situation?” she asks, and I nod. Behind her back Meta rolls her eyes and drops back on the couch. “Your grandchild will be the second coming of the messiah.”

Messiah? As in, Jesus Christ? And his second coming? Woah, seems Christianity is the only religion. Am I gonna have to give up Allah?

“We will stay here to protect you, to ensure the bloodline keeps going.”

“Have you been protecting me my whole life? But – why would you never show yourselves?”

You’d think protecting me was a little easier if I knew what could happen to me. I could, you know, maybe try and prepare, instead of freezing and trying to fistfight a demon. Plus I probably would have gone to church a lot more often. God likes it when people go to church.

“Oh, no, we were assigned to this task today. Powers are much too conspicuous – before this, a guardian angel was more suited to the task. They are everywhere and have very little power, so they do not attract attention. But now that you have been discovered, Satan will do all in his power to break the bloodline. He will do anything to escape judgment.”

She smiles reassuringly, but suddenly her smile doesn’t captivate me like it just minutes before. Yeah, she’s still super beautiful, but hearing her nag so passionately didn’t exactly earn her points in my book.

“Not to worry, we can take anything the enemy throws at you.”

Right, yeah, I guess I should be worried about my own life, now that she mentioned it.

“So Christianity’s God is the only true god?” I blurt out. Rapture smiles brightly, while Meta vigorously shakes her head behind her back.

“So… is He or isn’t He?”

“Of course He is! What else would He be?” Rapture barks.

“He’s so far from the only one he’s not even a decimal”, Meta comments. Rapture shoots her a truly venomous look, and clearly plans to lecture her some more later.

This is all a bit much to take in… I’m the grandmother of Jesus, and angels can’t agree on whether God is the only god or not, and I’m gonna have to tell mom and dad all this craziness… Oh and my life is gonna be in danger basically 24/7 now.

“Okay guys, I need some alone time. Good night, sorry but I only have that one couch… Try and share it or something.”

Rapture lets out an indignant scoff, but I don’t look at her. I just close the bedroom door and fall on the bed. I should do my evening prayers, but what can I even say tonight? Should I pray to both my Gods, or just one? Should I address one to all the possible deities, since Meta said there’s a whole lot? Would just one shared prayer do or am I gonna have to sit here ‘til I faint from hunger?

Eventually I settle on praying to both God and Allah, as I do every evening. I simply pray for guidance. As predicted, Rapture nags at Meta, but at least she’s doing it quietly, and lets me fall asleep.

Crumbs… Crumbs everywhere… Poor sandwiches, can’t be easy going to school when you shed all over the floors and eat yourself for lunch, and Ham can’t even find its cow.

“BLESSED SILENCE!”

I hear a confused groan and it takes a few seconds to realize I’m the one who made it. It’s pitch black in my room.

“Sorry, it got a little too quiet”, Meta explains. I groan again. This is just great, she woke up in the fucking dead of night because it was too quiet? That’s the ideal for night!

At least I fall asleep again reasonably quick.

#ApocalypseIn50 #ApocalypseUniverse #Ally #Ricky #Saida #Rapture #Meta #wiptale #linssioriginals #original fiction

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