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#oh yeah big agree
b4kuch1n · 10 months
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siren
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pshaikh03 · 1 year
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(via GIPHY)
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nattyontherun · 2 months
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working on something secret to be released... relatively soon, hopefully!!!
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sysig · 11 months
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He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)
#Doodles#Commander Peepers#I'm soooooo normal about him you guys <3 So normal! <3 <3#*Looking back over the other Little Guys I've collected* Hmmmmmmm Evil Xisuma and Spamton and Sableye and Rick Diggins#I think there might be a theme here#Just casually making Venn Diagrams in my head - Evil X has the red/black - Spamton is trans - Sableye has Gremlin energy - Rick is too tired#And those are just the ones I can think of lol - if you look I did the same stretchy pose with EX when I was still drawing him lol#The Stretch Pose is how you can tell if I like a character lol - they stretchin'? I am infatuated <3#I mean I'm normal I'm totally normal lol#Also had to give him a bbygrl pose - I for the life of me cannot find it again but the reference is very strong in my mind's eye!#Not that I couldn't go for another one at some point lol ♪#Ugh the middle one lol - so that Word of God I mentioned in passing about female Watchdogs#I read it in passing as just a basic research of ''Oh here's what The Original Creator has to say alright neat''#Except that it Immediately made me itchy and I was like ''What. What brain this is not that big of a deal what are you doing''#And I was like ''No I'm being silly about this - just because I don't agree doesn't mean it's a big deal lol''#Except then I had stress dreams and woke up Weird the next day and the last time that happened I left a fandom#And the time before that I wrote 4 consecutive pages of 20-something panels in like 18 hours of consciousness - I have normal reactions lol#But I opted instead to vent to smol about it and she agreed with me so basically I'm just saying I'm correct lol /s#Personally Peepers doesn't strike me as misogynistic - he's very much an Equal Opportunity villain in my eyes!#And yeah I considered a lot of different angles around it but like - based on the text of WOY I just don't buy it#If it's not in the show it doesn't count! For all we know there might not even be any female Watchdogs! Lol#Would also lead to the equally-to-Spamton interesting question of How Does Trans Work in that kind of situation#I've definitely not already put a lot of thought into it don't look at me lol#Don't ask me to write an essay about both of those things I'll do it and where will that leave us lol#ANYway lol ♪ He's still the absolute funnest to draw in distress and discomfort <3 And kneeling! He makes me want to practice :D#I always feel like I can try again and do better! >:3c
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monty-glasses-roxy · 3 months
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Freaking HAUNTED by the scenario of Cassie falling for the Mimic's act in the elevator and she comes back from it so, so, SO freaking scared but also so so SO freaking biased and spiteful and ANGRY she tries getting back at Gregory in the way that would hurt him even more than just 'paying in the same coin', by taking away from him exactly what he loves the most by trying to get Freddy destroyed. 💀 (definitely not a route I think Cassie would truly dive into but boy ain't it an interesting one none the less! 👀)
It also doubles as a way to free Roxy and the others from Freddy as well!! Two birds one stone!!
However... I've never heard the saying 'paying in the same coin' so I'm not entirely sure what it means, but I can take a pretty good guess. Not to be contrarian but what makes you think destroying Freddy wouldn't be doing the same thing Gregory did? He destroyed Roxy, Chica and Monty, and it was his voice telling him to deactivate Roxy for good to come and save him. After shutting her down, and her coming back to throw herself at Mimic for Cassie, Gregory tried to make it all for nothing by dropping her.
All of Roxy's damage falls on his shoulders, both before and after Cassie came into the picture. He didn't even care, did he? And neither did Freddy so really, this is the best vengeance she can hope for. She deals with the animatronic that Roxy keeps saying she'll kill if she ever sees him again, and hits Gregory where it really fucking hurts. Two revenge plans one stone!
And you're so right, Cassie would probably not go down that road... But ya know she might at least be a little tempted given Roxy's aggression over it. She keeps giving her ideas damn it she doesn't want them!!! Roxy can take them and do whatever she wants with them, Cassie doesn't wanna do it!!! And it works out cause Roxy doesn't have the fucking balls to go all the way with a murder plan anyway so no one gets hurt!!!
I guess that's a lose lose scenario ngl though...
This reminds me of a scenario I had the idea for a little bit ago when we were last talking about this stuff! (That got a bit long here so I'll add a read more for convenience)
The idea is that Vanessa, Gregory and Freddy return as quick as they can to try and save Cassie and instead find Roxy, once again guarding the door, Mini swarm in the shadows around them. She's obviously more damaged than before so it's a bit more difficult, but she's doing her best not to fall off the barriers she's stood on over the door and I've just had the idea of Minis holding onto her in the dark like training wheels. Aside from them, she's completely alone.
Vanessa talking is a shock to her and she's beyond happy to hear she's okay and most importantly, was freed. Surprisingly touched by her running to help her too... Just fucking snaps at Gregory and Freddy to shut the fuck up whenever they say anything cause she doesn't give a flying shit what they have to say. Vanessa hurries though, asking how she got away from that thing down there and tells her that Gregory's friend Cassie was down there too, what happened??
Yeah uh. Roxy says nothing for a while and Gregory gets impatient and tries to run at the door. The Minis grab him and the swarm just kinda take him away, literally up the fucking wall and take some pictures with an old Fazcam so Roxy can see it later lmao she's actually devastated she can't see this happening right now. Anyway, Roxy's like "what do you THINK happened?" and since she won't say anything else, they naturally, assume the fucking worst. She doesn't correct them or say another word. Just tells Freddy and Gregory that they've done enough fucking damage and to get out before she throws them out...
Oh yeah Gregory is fucking pissed. Why didn't she save her?! Why is Roxy out here when Cassie isn't?! What kind of useless animatronic is she that she couldn't save one kid?! What, is she only good at killing kids?! Is that it?! He's so fucking mad and Roxy just lets him rant and rave, the Minis stopping him for her every time he makes a run at the door until Freddy takes him away. He says he's disappointed in her, but that he's not surprised and that makes her seethe but she doesn't say anything until she hears Vanessa leaving. She stops her and when they're alone, she tells Vanessa the truth.
Cassie is in bad shape. Mimic is dead and they barely made it out, but her dad took her to hospital a little before they got here. Vanessa - who was in tears already - is so fucking relieved, but then asks why Roxy didn't say anything earlier. She tells her the truth as she knows it. That Cassie was here trying to save him. That Mimic lured her here as him, and at the end, Gregory said he couldn't risk being followed, and dropped the fucking lift with Cassie in it.
Now that doesn't make sense to Vanessa. She may not have been there for that last bit but they didn't rush all the way over here for nothing. Roxy can't exactly answer why he'd want to come back here, but she reminds her what he and Freddy did to all of them and points out that this would hardly have been out of the ordinary for him.
And so, you now have a situation where Vanessa doesn't know what to believe. She knows Roxy wouldn't lie about something like that and even if she did, she's a fucking awful liar. But she's clearly angry enough to let him think Cassie is dead and not give a shit... And she says it's to make sure he doesn't try it again so she's also asking Vanessa not to say a word. She can't do that! She can't just let a kid think his friend is dead because of him! ... But she's right in thinking this may not be completely out of the ordinary for him... But he wouldn't do that to someone he would run to the rescue of, right?? Gregory wouldn't do that, she knows him well enough to know that now!!
You see what's happened here? Now Vanessa is in the middle. If she doesn't say a word, Gregory will forever think Cassie got killed trying to save him. If she tells him and it turns out Roxy is right, then what if he tries again?
I feel she'd tell him, but no matter what, Roxy just straight up telling the truth to Vanessa, his current guardian, and not to him would cause so much pain. He could have been there screaming at her and she didn't say a fucking word because in her mind, this is nothing compared to what he's put all of them and Cassie through. And what happens if she does die in hospital?? What then?? She can't lie and say she's fine when she's not anyway!! She doesn't know shit!!
But ya get me with this? It's emotional revenge enacted at the end of Roxy's very long day in the pizzeria graveyard. Minimal effort required, with Vanessa unfortunately in the middle, but Vanessa is always welcome here. Roxy won't blame her for whatever she chooses to do, because at the end of the day, Roxy's done her job. Whether Gregory or Freddy believes it or not, she did her job.
She's really fucking glad she couldn't see his reaction though, she wouldn't have been able to keep her mouth shut if she had. Like most of the others, she can't bare to see a kid in genuine pain and she knows damn well how much her silence caused...
But yeah, you just got me thinking about that again. It's a spur of the moment thing for Roxy, inspired partly by the fact she's not good with words and doesn't really know how to approach this anyway. It's been a long day and her lack of words just turned into this and she's not even a little bit sorry. I think Cassie would appreciate the sentiment of keeping her safe from a second attempt on her life. And feel a bit bad that she takes some satisfaction in hearing how devastated Gregory was over it...
The picture of him being held from his ankles on the ceiling by the Minis is pretty good revenge too. They're proud of that one lmao
#pop rox answers#pop rox writes#because i just wrote out a wholeass scenario here it's close enough djjdjd#anyway poppet... is probably a little upset by this turn of events... for multiple reasons...#a lot of the minis are but they're loyal to roxy and they know enough to know that this has probably hurt her pretty bad too#she's not exactly famous for dealing with pain and grief in healthy and nondestructive ways#they may not agree with her actions but tehy know her well enough to know that this was probably the tamest option#given her history and the fact she hasn't had more than five minutes to process anything yet#and these three just showed up adding MORE to the stress of the day so yeah they don't really blame her#doggo is buried in spiders after this#oh and i forgot to mention!!!#once roxy and vanessa are alone vanessa gets her guts squeezed out through her nose in a hug#in all of my stuff like this the animatronics dont know what happened to vanessa#she's presumed missing#the minis have fucking searched for her body that's how little they all know#roxy plagued by the thought that gregory did the same to her as he did them and freddy let it happen...#expecting to find her stumbling around broken and bruised or just straight up dead...#not very fun!! i like to think they were sort of onesided friends so yeah not fun#anyway yeah uhh. hope you don't mind me adding a great big long scenario to your ask#revenge plans just had me thinking about that and had me thinking that could be a revenge thing too#and not just roxy being exhausted and trying to keep cassie safe from future attempts#telling vanessa is also an attempt to keep her safe too. she needs to know what happened so she can make her own decisions here#what she does is up to her but if she ever needs anywhere to hideout or anyone to keep her safe well#the plex is always open to her... even more so if she gets her fucking eyes back from freddy fuckface as well#listen. there's a good reason he's not surprised by the idea she didn't save cassie.#she knows why too and it pisses her off to no end the damage he's done over this#she would understand too if she didn't hate his fucking guts and thought about it for two seconds#anyway that's enough of that. gonna reread real quick and post okay bye#long post
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moe-broey · 5 months
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You know Henriette is lowkey kind of anime (like the SuMo anime) Lusamine-core. To me
#a lot of people were frustrated obvs w the changes made to lusamine after og sumo and i def see it#and i DEF agree w it regarding ultra sumo. but i actually do kind of like the direction they took#w anime lusamine. like yeah it was a huge departure from the games. but given the context/genre of the anime#it didn't feel like a retcon? it felt more like they had to make adjustments to her to fit the very#slice of life comedy direction the sumo anime took. and there were still intense and emotional#story beats/arcs for the aether family too.#and i think the changes to lusamine actually complimented the changes to lillie#who's main conflict/struggle is her intense fear of touching pokemon due to trauma#so like! lillie is still traumatized! and for a slice of life comedy one big struggle is enough.#she didn't need an abusive controlling parent on top of that LMFAOOO (save that conflict for game lillie#esp cause in game her whole arc centers around that)#man i actually don't remember why gladion was a runaway in the anime though now that i think about it.#but like for the entire maybe one person who follows me and has the pokemon sumo/feh overlap interest#does this make sense????????? i feel like it does#i actually don't know if i have any followers who have that overlap. i feel like you're either here for feh/askr sibs specifically#or you had the misfortune of finding me in a brief bout of pokemon fixation and have discovered. oh#oh you BARELY post pokemon actually LMFAOOO you're just insane over some blue hair and pronouns bitch#and sharena 😇💖#fe henriette
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emdotcom · 26 days
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*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.
#em.txt#WHY#how can you see the fucking absolute fire that is building up & go. 'yeah douse it. now bring back peepaw AGAIN'#BUILD HER UP 2 GAMES EARLY --- & THEN DO NOTHING!!!!!!!!? FUCK#WE CAN'T HAVE WOMEN DO THINGS IN FNAF I GUESS#the company's scop was too big & they developed the game seperately from the environment & made the environment above the game#cut playable vanessa sections. cut vanny appearances.#remove all the plot make vanessa a bitch throw in some invisible walls call it done. 30 dollars now please#security breach isn't just bad. it's not fucking done.#the thing normally with cut content is i can usually agree like 'okay this game cut this but that was a smart choice'#it can be better for time or budget & it can make for better writing.#for instance all the cut content in ahit is neat & as much as i like moonie it's smart to cut his character to build up other ones#& makes for a tighter story & less convoluted area that's more fun to play#when i look at the cut content for security breach their are obvious issues.#it's obvious the company's scope went too far. you built too big an environment. you built the environment before your game.#you prioritized a cool area to the point you expanded the mall from 1 story to 3. do you think that time could have been speant elsewhere#& the other problem is the insane fucking crunch that scott cawthon as a dev placed on himself & others to maintain relevancy#a single person locking themselves ina room for months to stay relevant is fucked. a game studio physically cannot do that.#you see shit in the prerelease like they wanted a bowling minigame a kart minigame a freeroam minigame etc#what about vanny? what did you want with this character? you clearly had something in mind#but we needed to cut it so we can fit in mazercise i fucking guess or chica's bakery or trash heap#here's what we have: less than 1 minute screentime. the 2 vanessa ending comic. that's it#oh wait i forgot. 'vanny. sounds like vanessa & bunny. this cabnot be a coincidence ' & THEN IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN#princess quest used to be about that bitch in golden freddy you retconned it to be about vanessa SO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT#her whole shit is apparently in service to william afton. why isn't she in the afton fight at all#does she not know he's down there? is he unrelated? does she know she's working for the mimic? is she not working for him?#is she at all related to the fucking bunny from ruin or like what#what about the rainbow hair. what about her tech prowess. what about the cut missing kids only referenced in duffle bag messages now.#fuck you & fuck me as well why can't i be passionate about hvac systems#why's it gotta be this shittass gsme.
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chikaoofka · 1 year
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something something shadow gov something something cassius. alfie made cash-us the common american pronunciation just to fuck with him & its clearly doing something alright
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daxite · 11 months
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ok after watching oppenheimer i can safely say with confidence that 90% of people here clearly did not watch the fucking movie and those massive posts going around with thousands of notes are for the most part complete horsehshit lol 💀
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rowanhoney · 3 months
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you know when you meet someone in passing who’s just SO attractive you don’t stop thinking about it. Yeah.
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not to be a fucking femme on main but literally out here with a girl carving me bone, and when i tell her that carving is culturally significant to my people, and tell her that my siblings have carved their wives and kids pounamu as very loving gifts, she just told me she might not be able to get it that smooth but she'll try,, like wait,, am i stupid???
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holyshit · 1 year
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anons from earlier today ⬇️ (sorry for doing so much tag answering but it’s a heavy topic to me so i don’t want to get too... out there with it lol)
#'not ready' anon#oh yeah i completely agree with you 100%#it's a whole different beast and i really wish she was advised to put her socials on private bc it's gonna get brutal quickly :/#so many aspects i don't like about this rip#'dare i say it' anon#yup exactly- it is a very uncomfortable choice in general from whoever was deciding this#and it doesn't surprise me that probably a bunch of men who are likely involved in this decision would not see how gross it is to actively#choose someone so much younger for him#like i fully expect they didn't recognize that it would be an issue because so many older men don't see an issue with dating women in their#early twenties#so it's very much a disappointed but not surprised moment for me lol#if they really thought this would be a good way to market to his younger fans- there are other! ways! you fuckers!#'answer in tags' anon#don't worry- you are very much entitled to feel that way and i totally understand where you're coming from#different topics are gonna hit different people harder and this is also a big Ick Factor conversation to me because of personal experience#so i 100% understand the feeling of needing to back off. even if this is not a breaking point for you i do always recommend taking steps#back occasionally to cool off and with that distance you can see whether you are still deriving joy from this fandom#or if the stress/things that upset you overrides it#also remember you are always free to dm me off anon if you ever want to have more of a one-on-one conversation about it!#i feel like i can at least give a decent ear since i have experience leaving fandom AND coming back lmao#asks#anonymous
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SORRY in advance for the long ask pleeease take your time and take care, I hope you feel better + get to have a good time at the con or hanging out with your dad :( It means the world to me that you enjoy my stuff though! It did take me a while to notice you were even following me (hence. @ing you on a post you'd already seen gdjfshld) but we got there eventually...
Definitely definitely was expecting to see more of Infinite Wealth at the summit… since the tweets mentioned character introductions but didn't specify for which game, I was under the impression we'd at least be introduced to the as-yet-unidentified voices in the trailer. Gameplay would've been HUGE to include too 😩 I guess it makes enough sense though, since it's not The Upcoming Release...
I shall bide my time. I have no idea what to expect from fall summit (as intended). But if it's going to be a seasonal thing, I figure a potential "winter summit" is the latest it could be to show us gameplay for something that's suppsed to be an early 2024 release, if not just putting out trailers or other showcases and stuff independently.
LEGIT THOUGH IT JUST MAKES IT SOUND LIKE KIRYU IS LYING TO SOUND COOL GDJSKGLDS which is also Arakawa-esque… "maybe I felt like impressing an idiot kid"… If nothing else, I feel like I'll enjoy the dynamic they're going for with those two. Specifically casting Kiryu as a "big brother" figure rather than a father figure also makes me WEEP because the only "aniki" Ichi's ever had is Jo. So it's like... from Jo to Joryu...
Also I just really like the acting choices by the mocap actor for Kiryu, I feel like we've never really seen him move that… casually? His mannerisms also 100% make him look like he's lying lol like there are multiple "tells" it's so funny
I glossed over the proposal (because I expected that to be the main topic anyway, being the only dialogue scene we got) but I completely agree with everything that's been said, basically. Reverse chick magnet for life… but I do expect there's more to it than meets the eye because summit is pretty focused on "generating buzz," so the fact it feels so out of place is probably what they were banking on.
Because like, on top of everything mentioned, Ichiban is portrayed as an entirely passive participant in the romances in 7, and IIRC for Saeko and Eri he wasn't really even fully aware they were into him. So for him to not only be the one to propose but bomb so hard a seasoned hostess (as Kiryu points out in JP)--who'd rather be groped than subjected to Weird Shit--blew up at him and there was fallout from Adachi and Nanba is a huge deviation from how he's portrayed.
It's also kind of like, to me, the translation says something a little different than what was actually being said; Ichi's emphasis wasn't really on the fact she rejected him (implying he expected her to accept + placing more importance on his own feelings vs hers), but the fact she "chewed him out" (implying he should've known better in the first place than to ask).
Of course, he's apparently planning on trying again so he is hoping she'll accept eventually, and the general tone of the interaction suggests he should've known better regardless, but both say something slightly different about his characterization in this scene to me. There's also TL weirdness with Ichi saying Kiryu seems like a good dude rather than just… him explaining that he doesn't mean anything bad by saying he doesn't seem like a ladies' man, which is a bigger mistake but less consequential, I guess.
There's also Saeko's line from the original teaser, "You say that like you're proposing," so it would seem she's already caught off guard (i.e. not taking it seriously yet) and not too thrilled with the idea (provided it's the same convo). I don't really have much to go off of, but if they are in a relationship, I can only assume either she's made it clear she doesn't want to get married or his proposal method was just That Bad, or they're not in a relationship.
In the latter case all I have to pull from is other media with characters who are somewhat like Ichi, but it made me think of times I've seen characters propose for legal or financial reasons or etc. and get Totally Owned, and I'd honestly find that a believable Ichi Situation… Ichi thinking like 50 steps ahead and not explaining himself properly and just Making Saeko More Mad… I'm just musing, though.
Yokoyama and co. were--if I heard right--being pretty cagey about whether they ARE in a relationship in the first place though, which strikes me as odd compared to RGGS' openness about Kaito's ex in the Lost Judgment DLC. So… definitely not beating the red herring allegations just yet, at any rate. Especially when said DLC involves a fake-out on a proposal lmao
Putting all that aside since we can't make any definitive statements anyway, I AM going to make the definitive statement that literally every single design in Gaiden so far is indeed drippy as hell.
such is the cruel fate of being shadowbanned on this webbed site I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream etc etc ( ╯-╰ ; ) but we did get there! and i very much do enjoy what you post :]
if there's nothing for fall summit (though i'm going to hope a lil there will be since that's what. three months from now) then there'll definitely be something for winter summit. if the idea is that there's more of a focus on gaiden since its release date is sooner, then it's fair to assume- with that logic- the winter one'll have the bulk of LAD8 news and demos. either way, im excited for both to see what both of them bring us !
ignoring the elephant in the room of the proposal thing, i also really liked the vibe of it all (and ive also been trying reeaaally hard to make a joke connecting jo and joryu since that's also a bit i enjoy) (❁´◡`❁) i did like that lowkey feel and just the casualness of the atmosphere and the slight awkward/uncomfortable-but-not-overly-offended-and-even-minorly-comedic energy from kiryu lmao. cant ever go wrong with having a scene that's there to slow everythin down a bit, and it does help set up a kind of homely/familial vibe ♪(´▽`)
i dont need to comment any more on the proposal thing either LMAO everything ima say i been repeating for the past. X asks 😩
and with that. yeah everyone looks FIRE as hell in gaiden (EXCEPT nishitani ima be 100%.... idk the loud primary colors aren't doing it for me.... points for the nails and hair though) 😩
#long post#snap chats#laying down when youre gloomy is dangerous i passed out despite really hating naps jLAEKJ#my dad texted me today saying we wouldn't be able to hang out and i was reminded to answer this ask gjVLKJLKWEJ#needless to say im still not having the best of days. or months apparently ☠️ but moving on from all that#uhh. yeah no i think i said everything i need to say#im pushing my brain to think of anything to say im really out of it#i know if i dont do it now tho i never will cause when i shirk somethin its virtually nonexistent in my mind ajrLKjVLK#at the very least the 'ladies man' comment is definitely not. 'less consequential' if twitter is anything to say LMAO#mostly just jokes of course ik ik For Real Non Consequential but my eyes are still seeing it every other post SO.#on that note. i forgot my personal rule of not commenting on scripts OH NO#i dont understand japanese and at this point i cant trust what english translators provide and evidently the differences can be big#sooo im just gonna. eat shit i guess LMAO IDK#i already done said i have no more notes bout the proposal bit and i dont#i can just say Yeah Thats About Right when it comes to agreeing with whats been said#just feels underwhelming to only say that tho.... but theres no other way i can say it without restating#i myself just feel underwhelming as of late but thats a personal ish jALKJKLJ#in any case my dad said he'd send me pizza money as an apology or something and tbh ive been craving pizza all week anyway for some reason#even if he doesnt i might just get a small pizza for myself and then only eat a third of it cause my stomach's the size of a peanut
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munamania · 2 years
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i’m so unbelievably annoyed with my roommates and today ik it’s on me like they didn’t do anything. but it’s not any less annoying
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miikaarinn · 1 month
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i had a psychiatrist appt today and holy fuckingnhell never again im not doing this shit ever again
#i got a lexapro rx like okay fine i'll try.#got a GAD and PDD dx i dont agree with the GAD dx#i have social anxiety for sure and i have driving anxiety because im 19 and only been driving since i was 17#i dont have GAD like tf#no way#PDD yeah that fits so im gonna cope and take the lexapro and cancell and say i got reccomended to switch providers so i did#also forgot abt the mysta icon LMAOOO i only like him as mysta im a big fan of shu tho#i <333 shu yamino#literally makes me feel better than whatever the fuck happened today#probs doesnt help i've been awake for like 27 hrs and havent eaten in uh 20 !#tbh i feel better destroying my life being completely alone and allathat shit#msged someone in hopes i can rant to them but i said no worries if not amd i will probs say nvm#literally so fucking annoying im finally going to an actual dr#my mom was like 'i told you you should go' like okay i havent gone to a dr in like 10 years and that is your fault#i feel like drs wont take me seriously or my mom'll press and say 'i think he has this or this or this' mf i have depression and thats it#gen hoping the lexapro will cure me#so fucking stressed out and this dr didnt take me seriously like yeah i was abused IDGAF#miss me w that inner child bs#im not gonna fucking meditate just let me watch a shu yamino vod or something#OH she also said i have a 'little bit of cptsd' FYM A LITTLE BIT?? FYM CPTSD?? BESIDES THE BPD AND DEPRESSION AND SOCIAL ANXIETY IM FINE MAN#dissociation got me idc abt the abuse or SA or SHarassment trauma idgaf !!
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fingertipsmp3 · 5 months
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I’m so fucking annoyed with myself today
#so on new year’s day we went out for a family meal and my granddad suggested getting a carvery at this one restaurant everyone’s been#meaning to try. we all agreed and it was eventually booked for today#i think i first heard about this a week ago and was like ‘yeah of course i can go’#(scheduling conflicts aren’t really a thing for me bc i work freelance and at home so if i have an appointment or a commitment i can#basically just do it. i just work around it)#but. no one really reminded me about it (because they literally shouldn’t have to because i am a grown adult who is almost 28 years old)#so when my stepdad showed up to pick me up today i was absolutely bamboozled#i was like ‘why are you here?’ he’s like ‘we’re going to [restaurant]’ i was like ‘oh SHIT. i completely forgot about that’#i am: unwashed. greasy. wearing my big threadbare sweats and a stained cardigan#my period is 2 days late and i keep getting random cramps and feeling out of sorts and plus it’s a SUNDAY so my plan for today#was just to hunker down and read and stay warm and hopefully not be bothered by anyone#most damningly i’ve already eaten. i stuffed my face in fact#so i was like ‘i’m so sorry but i can’t go’. like i know my family won’t care what i look like and neither would the people in the#restaurant (it’s not like a formal restaurant or anything. it is a dark pub that just happens to serve good food)#but i personally feel like garbage and also i can’t eat a big meal right now#i’m so mad at myself because literally if i’d put this in my calendar or something i would’ve showered this morning and not eaten#a ridiculous amount. and i could’ve mentally prepared myself for human interaction#i also want to mention my stepdad didn’t go far out of his way to pick me up (he lives literally a 2 minute drive from me) and no one paid#for the food in advance or anything. so no harm done. but GOD#tbh i think my brain refused to hold onto this information because the carvery at this place just didn’t sound appetising to me. idk#like i never forget about dinner plans at places i actually enjoy… but this……. yeah.#i still feel bad for letting my family down but i think they will understand when i explain a bit more#personal
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