#pop rox answers

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Meanwhile roxy doing Easter stuff for the pizzaplex.

There she goes!! Very busy doggo!! She's got Easter eggs to hide!!

[myloveforhergoeson]

a short story featuring bad boy kendall - enjoy

"Hey, Rox, are you still out there?"

Hint of hesitation escaping his lips, Kendall called out to his assistant from one of the small fitting rooms in the costuming department of Rocque Records. They had already had a challenging few days - Griffin was on a mission to get a bad boy into the band and Gustavo was trying to force him into taking up that particular role in defiance.

Bad boy was the farthest term Kendall would ever describe himself with, yet, there he stood, dressed in the all-black outfit his assistant had picked out for him, ready to play the main part in her ridiculous plan.

He knew ridiculous plans - Big Time Rush practically invented the concept of ridiculous plans - but Roxy's had really taken the cake. It didn't help that the rest of the band had thought her plan to be their best shot at kicking the poser Wayne-Wayne out, fueling her ego just a bit as she grabbed his arm and pulled him down one floor to the wardrobe room.

It was hard to say no to her, he had found throughout their first few days in Hollywood. Roxy could be quite convincing when she wanted to, and it certainly didn't hurt that the blond had grown quite fond of seeing her smile.

Selfishly, he had watched it spread across her face just minutes before as she happily bounced from rack to rack of clothes, finding him the perfect outfit he was now waiting to show her.

Curse that girl... Even though she has a great sense of style.

If she didn't already have a budding career as his songwriter-assistant, Kendall might have believed she would have a promising career in the world of fashion.

"I'm right where you left me," she casually replied, and for a moment, Kendall felt a bit self-conscious as he drew back the curtain to the dressing room.

That was a new feeling he certainly didn't take to. Even though Roxy had done an excellent job in finding clothing his size, suddenly the all-black look, from his boots to his jacket to his watch, felt a little bit too tight when her eyes raked over him. Though, he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the attention.

Had they only met a few days ago? Sure, but the way she had so fiercely fought for him and his friends to take a chance and fly out to Hollywood to record a few demo tracks with 90s megastar Gustavo Rocque was nothing less than inspiring. It had nearly broken his heart when he made her cry in his living room the night of James' audition, so much so he found himself doing everything in his power to correct his mistake the next day. And even then, her influence hadn't escaped him, continuing her encouragement the best way she could - a song.

Roxy had written a song about him for crying out loud, the least he could do was wear the tight pants and participate in her ridiculous plan.

Unabashed, she stared him down, taking in the outfit she had created for him while she twirled a small, black pencil between a few of her fingers.

Maybe she'll write a song about this moment, he thought, his silent wish ignored by the nervous words coming out of his mouth.

"Girls seriously dig this kinda crap? The attitude, I mean... I look really good in these clothes."

At her slight nod, he popped the collar of the jacket to show off a bit more, getting her to keep her eyes on him for just a bit longer. But, the suave move embarrassed him a bit, so he turned to check his outfit in the mirror behind him to save seeing whatever expression had formed on his assistant's face.

Of course, what he had really meant to ask was, "You really dig this kind of crap?" for unimportant reasons.

Regardless of how his question was worded, he got his answer as she sucked in a breath, "You don't know the half of it..."

Before he knew it his eyes flickered to hers in the mirror for a brief moment, until he felt brave enough to turn and face her again.

Kendall changed the subject, "What are you going to do to me with that thing in your hand?"

"This?" She held the pencil up, slightly cocking her head. "None of your girlfriends wore eyeliner?"

Perhaps he was just delusional enough to believe that was her subtle way of asking if he was seeing someone. Which he wasn't at the moment. Not at all.

"Probably, I dunno," was all he could manage as a reply, trying to will his heart to stop beating so fast as Roxy continued to look at him. Kendall had only had one serious girlfriend his freshman year, but he was currently having much trouble remembering her name as he watched his assistant step a bit closer to him.

Roxy twirled the pencil a few more times. "It's supposed to help draw attention to the eye. No bad boy look is complete without dark and smoky guy-liner! We just have one issue-"

"The tightness of my pants?"

"No, definitely not," She shook her head, and Kendall just so happened to remember she said she didn't have a boyfriend the other day.

As she continued on, he didn't really process many of her words as he tried to understand why his brain decided to re-feed him such information at a time like this.

Before he knew it, Roxy ripped him from his thoughts as she placed one of her hands on his shoulder, using it as support to hoist herself up onto a small stool she had placed at his feet.

Now, they were looking eye to eye, and Kendall hoped the tightness of his shirt didn't reveal the comically insane beating of his heart.

"I didn't quite imagine we'd be on two save-our-band missions this week," He joked, trying to calm himself down as he looked down at the makeup in her hands. "Please don't turn it into a save-my-eye mission."

A playful gasp left her lips, "Kendall Knight, I can't believe you don't trust me. After all we've been through together..."

The back of her hand flew to her forehead as she pretended to faint in shock at his comment.

"I do, Rox," he couldn't stop himself from sharing, though he avoided her eyes and looked off at one of the clothing racks behind her before changing the subject entirely. "I'm just thinking of it like a weird kind of eye-black."

"Don't worry," His assistant shared, even though he hadn't been at all. "It won't be anything crazy. We're going for more of a Liam Gallagher look; it'll tie nicely with your outfit. Ready?"

Nodding, Kendall closed his eyes, trying to shoo out the thoughts racing through his brain as Roxy began to apply the eyeliner.

To be frank, he had no clue who Liam Gallagher was, but the way Roxy had said his name made him sound important. Maybe she'd speak about him like that one day.

Stupid, Kendall told himself. I doubt she'd go for a guy with zero musical knowledge... Not that that matters.

Sparing himself the pain of thinking about that for too much longer, the blonde shot out, "Which band was that guy in again?"

Even with his eyes closed, he could imagine the way her eyes lit up when she processed what he had said. She always got this flash of excitement across her features when she talked about music, be it her own or someone else's.

"Liam Gallagher? He's in Oasis, they're one of my favorites. Now he's the prime example of a bad boy, always fighting with his brother and everything."

A chuckle escaped her as Kendall made a mental note to head to the Palm Woods computer in the lobby and look Oasis up when they got home. If they were one of her favorite bands, it was probably a good idea to learn about her musical influences since she would be writing more songs for Big Time Rush.

Besides that, he knew that he had heard of that band. Slowly he peeked his right eye open to catch a glance at her expression when he stated, "You had a few of their tapes in your box."

"You remember that?" The tone in her voice came off more shocked than the frontman had hoped as her gaze connected with his. Kendall did have eyes after all, and had poked through most of the tapes she had after she asked him to put on the other morning. "I've got a good collection if I do say so myself."

Kendall wouldn't know, but now more than ever he felt a drive to impress Gustavo as best he could with Big Time Rush's demos. Her collection would easily elevate from good to perfect if his voice ended up floating through her speakers.

Silence filled the room as he closed his eyes again, ready for the other side to be completed. Once more, he felt the pencil in Roxy's hand drag across his lash line, covering most of it. At one point, the girl had lifted the pencil up and Kendall had opened his eyes, not knowing she was about to come back for more.

The pencil drove right into his sclera.

"Ow!" He hissed as his body shook at the sudden pain. Right hand flying to his eye, he managed to hit Roxy's arm - the sheer force of it all knocking her completely off balance.

Since hockey was a sport of balance, Kendall was no stranger to recognizing the signs of someone about to fall, but for whatever reason his brain went numb. Roxy had clearly lost her footing, beginning to tumble backward, and the last thing he had ever expected her to do was to shoot her arms around his neck and pull herself into him.

Contact snapping him out of his stupor, the boy reacted quickly; his hands flying around her waist in an attempt to stabilize her. Gently, he guided her back to the small step stool, making sure she had balance once more.

Roxy was shaking - shaking - as she clung to him, nose inadvertently nuzzled into his neck. All Kendall could focus on was how close they were, how fast her chest was heaving, as he ignored the itch in the back of his brain.

Tell her, tell her, tell her-

"Are you alright?" Kendall asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Neither of them moved while the girl composed herself, a nearly impossible task while the two were practically flushed against each other.

She breathed a breath in. She breathed a breath out.

"Yeah," But she didn't make any move to unlock her arms from around his neck.

Relieved, Kendall finally listened to his train of thought as his blood roared in his ears, allowing one of his hands to reluctantly leave her waist and trail up to the base of her neck, cradling her further into him.

Be it the bad boy persona he was swiftly trying to adapt to or the adrenaline rushing through his veins...

"Would it be crazy if I told you I wanted to kiss you so badly right now?"

His heart nearly stopped as she pulled away from him, eyes widening in surprise as she studied his face, trying to figure out if he really meant what he had said. The heat creeping up the back of her neck reached where his hand had gently been placed, worrying the frontman slightly.

"No... Not not at all" She quickly replied, giving him the dazzling smile he had so desperately wanted to give her by squeezing into the bad boy outfit he had picked out.

Kendall smirked right back, hesitantly leaning into his assistant before she yanked the sides of his jacket, easily bringing her mouth to his for a few short seconds before pulling away.

"Ready to go kick some Griffin-butt?" She questioned. "The sooner we get that done, the sooner we can sneak back down here and... you know..."

He did know.

At her words, Kendall's cheeks lit up, no doubt the source of another big Roxy smile gracing her lips as she hopped down from the step stool.

Holy shit, he thought, running a hand through his hair and watching as she returned the stool to where it came from. Then, she raced back over and laced her fingers through his, pulling him to the studio where he was going to surprise Griffin and WayneWayne with his new look. James is going to kill me.

[chaoticspeedrun]

Brighter to my eyes 3

Summary: Leo is good at reading people, it's what makes him a good strategist, but those blue hues of hers elude his sharp intuition.

Perhaps if they didn't he'd realize he didn't have to change himself for her to see him like he wants her to.

A.N. I wrote this fanfic over an idea of Rise! Leo using a cloacking brooch to hide his true self but it evolved into something way bigger, this fic will takes place in ROTTMNT after "Newsworthy" but April is 18 starting college instead of in High School, while the MC and Raph are 17, the twins 16 and Mikey 15.

Pairing: Rise!Leo x OC, Leo x Reader

Warnings: Angst, FLUFF, Sibling shenanigans, MC is a nerd, but a mean nerd in leather.

PREV • MASTERLIST • NEXT

The turtles +2 walked in and immediately heard a bloodcurdling scream from somewhere deep inside, Mikey grabbed onto Raph's arm and Victoire's grin kept getting bigger the further they walked.

As they reached the creaky stairs a group that had entered right before them yelled from above stumbling onto the stairs wide-eyed, some of them giggling nervously and the others looked panicked as they ran down the stairs, the turtles making way for them as the bunch kept yelling like they were running from something.

Donnie looked up to the next floor and his eyes widened, he made a startled sound walking back towards his older brother when a body fell right before them onto the stairs just in front with a loud thud.

Mikey screeched having climbed onto Raph's shell and the others looked on in panic, only increasing as the body started leaking something that under the little bit of moonlight that illuminated the staircase looked red, then they screamed, all except for Leo and Victoire.

Leo recovered quickly from the surprise and walked over to it rolling his eyes "Oh relax guys! It's a test of bravery, nothing is real, see?" Leo reached for the right arm of the person and it popped out, disconnected from the rest of it making Mikey scream again.

"YOU RIPPED THEIR ARM OFF!!!" The orange turtle screeched at his blue coded brother while Raph, Donnie and April relaxed.

"It's plastic Mikey, come on!" Leo chuckled walking up faster while Victoire laughed openly and mischievously at the others reaction before following Leo, Mikey sighing in relief but not letting go of Raph as they continued.

They entered various rooms, Donnie happily explaining the holograms of ghosts that had succesfully terrified Raph and complimenting Victoire on their quality, all of them running out of one room when a piano sprouted teeth and followed them, jumping with a strenuous sound as they fled the room with their stickers.

Another room was filled to the brim with huge spiders that immediately poured out towards them, making even Leo yelp in disgust before realizing they were robotic when crushing one to Donnie's delight.

They were all laughing about to open another door, the halls of the house were gigantic and Mikey asked to stay close to where they could see the staircase when they heard a crash at the end of the hall close to the them, when they all turned Victoire tilted her head at one of her friends.

"What's up Rox?" She asked realizing she couldn't really hear much from outside except a song she didn't recognize playing on the speakers.

Rox didn't answer, she just walked closer to them, footsteps creaked from the stairs and Victoire walked closer before stopping as she saw a whole bunch of party goers walking upstairs in silence with vacant eyes.

"What the-"

Rox rushed at her trying to grab Victoire but she managed to dodge before Raph took her by the arm and shielded her with his body.

"What's going on?!" He asked when the other party goers started rushing at them, the mad dogs and Victoire running down the hall.

"I don't know!" Donnie yelled "They appear to be in a trance!"

Something flew by Raph's head and Victoire recognized the object as a ratarang from one of her friend's Ratman costume.

They reached a fork of halls and ran down the left one, entering one of the rooms.

Leo shushed them all as they stilled hearing the running footsteps still outside.

"Oh Victoire!" They heard someone call from outside "Come on out! We miss you outside at the party!"

"Are you okay Victoire?" Another voice, her best friend, Victoire recognized, called out sounding worried "I could call your parents if you're not feeling well, I still have their number."

Victoire's hands tightened into fists "That's not Scott at all" she whispered "They're all acting like they're mind controlled."

"Mind controlled of course!" Donnie whisper yelled "Just like hypno! The song outside has been playing in repeat for a while, he must have used that to control everyone!"

"But what would he want Victoire for?" Leo asked before the door started rattling as someone tried to open it from outside, they all stilled and looked around for an escape.

Mikey was about to reach for the window when Donnie stopped him "No! If we go outside we'll be exposed to the music! Our safest bet is to stay inside the building."

"Uh, Donald, I don't want to alarm you but there's a bunch of dressed up people waiting to attack INSIDE the building!" April exclaimed.

"Hold on, hold on! Who is this hypno guy in the first place?!" Victoire asked glancing from them to the door.

Donnie looked up at Leo trying to communicate something as they heard the lock of the door being messed with, Leo looked from him to the door to Victoire and then took his sword from his hilt.

There was a click on the lock and Leo quickly made a portal open with his sword, Victoire's eyes widened at it as she was pulled through the blue light by Raph during her shock, the rest of them following just fast enough to avoid the mass of people rushing through the door right after.

They had appeared in the third floor of the building, furthest from the crowd and they all sighed in relief at the portal opening right, except for Victoire whose eyes were still wide open like dinner plates for a moment longer before she squinted at Leo and reached out to pinch his arm making him yelp.

"What was that?!" he asked and she squinted her eyes further while looking at her fingers with which she had just pinched him.

"What was that? What was it that you just did?! Leon, I'm not used to seeing someone pull out a magic portal out of thin air with a sword that I personally thought was just a prop three minutes ago!"

Leo tried to speak but Victoire lifted a finger to stop him, breathing in for a second "Let's ignore for a second that there's no green paint on my fingers so you guys aren't wearing costumes and are actual turtles" she said to which Raph winced and Leo rubbed where she had pinched him.

Donnie mumbled 'mutant ninja turtles actually'.

"Who is Hypno?" Victoire asked, eyes bouncing from one to another.

The turtles looked at each other and April walked over to Victoire with hunched shulders "Hypno-potamus is a magician who got mutated recently, his DNA mixed with that of his pet hippopotamus and now he has psychic abilitie-"

"Wait" Victoire interrupted looking like she was putting together puzzle pieces "Isn't that Mezmer-ron? The guy who was stealing animal companions from other magicians?"

Donnie looked at her in shock "How do YOU know that? The news never made the connection between the two" Victoire scoffed.

"I'm not stupid, unlike the news outlets, the same day this guy Ron and his hippo disappeared Hypno's attacks started, it's easier to believe too when that chef guy transformed into a giant pig on live TV."

"You mean Rupert Swaggart?!" Mikey asked forgetting the situation for a moment but Victoire nodded.

April was surprised as Victoire took things in stride, no yelling or outburst, just looking at them seriously as she processed.

She heard Donnie go near Victoire and ask in a lower voice "Are you in shock?"

Victoire looked thoughtful and responded seriously with a small nod, "Might be, I'm just compartmentalizing."

Donnie nodded at her answer and Raph raised an eyebrow looking at her "Alright, so we cleared that up, but why would Hypno be targetting you?"

Mikey joined in nodding quickly "The crowd was looking for her, not us!"

Victoire's eyes widened and then she frowned "Okay yeah, that makes more sense than Scott wanting to speak to my parents" she mumbled receiving questioning looks "My parents are extremely influential politicians, he must be trying to use me as a hostage to get something from them."

"Then what do we do?" April asked

"We protect Victoire, and find out how hypno is controlling so many people at once"

"But we were all down there, some of us ate the food, had the drinks, listened to the same music-" Donnie started and then gasped "The music! It changed while we were inside I remember because I was mad that it kept playing on loop but let it go because we could barely hear it anyway"

"So we need to stop the music? But when they attacked us they probably couldn't hear it anymore either" Leo replied with an eyebrow lifted.

"Then what could snap them out of it?" Victoire asked and Donnie grinned.

"If I can reach into their neural pathways with a coordinated harmony of-"

"English Dontron" Leo groaned and Donnie huffed glaring at him.

"I play loud funky music to make their brains go brr, BUT we need them to be distracted long enough for the music to have any effect on their psyche."

"I'll let them capture me" Victoire said "In between that and whatever Hypno wants to demand from my parents you got enough time to use your music and get rid of him."

"Are you sure?" April asked "We can find another way to-"

"It's fine" Victoire waved her off "I don't have a weapon anyways, I wouldn't be as useful with you guys."

"Alright team" Raph started "Mikey and I will go downstairs and hide from the party goers, that way we'll be there to avoid anything else happening, Donnie, April, set up your trap and keep an eye out for Hypno, Leo, you go with Victoire, stay around hidden after she's captured to make sure she's safe."

"Only for a box of Scooby-snacks Fred" Leo joked and Victoire snorted, covering her mouth to hide the chuckle that tried to escape her mouth making Leo turn to her in surprise before grinning at her while everyone else rolled their eyes.

"Okay! Let's go Mad dogs!" Raph stated before leaving followed by the others.

"Mad dogs?" Victoire asked.

"It's our team name" Leo stated making her look more confused.

"Okay...But you're mutant ninja turtles, that doesn't have anything to do with it" she wondered and Leo raised his arms.

"That's what I said!"

The both of the started walking down the hallway to the staircase.

"Okay, so you never actually explained where that magical blue portal came from though" Victoire broke the silence looking at Leo's ōdachi on his hands.

"Oh we found these mystical weapons a bit ago, they all have different powers we can activate with them, my ōdachi of course is the coolest one, it can make a portal to wherever I want" He explained proudly as Victoire looked in awe, after a moment he looked away from her and asked.

"So, why aren't you more freaked out? You seem pretty calm for everything that's happened today."

Victoire made a humming sound as they kept wandering through the hall "I don't know, I mean I am still a little in shock, it probably hasn't set in completely yet but realizing mutants were a thing and one was going after me was scary, but Raph immediately shielded me when I was in danger, Donnie kept me on the loop of what was happening as he processed it, Mikey asked for my safety what they could want from me and you took us all out of there, plus now you're acting as my bodyguard too."

She paused for a second looking back at him.

"When I met April she spoke very fondly about you guys, that's why I invited you to my party, wether you're all turtles or not you seem more genuine than most people who try to hang around me."

Leo looked at her in surprise at this but before she could say anything else they heard a sound coming from down the stairs, a group of people coming up.

Leo turned to her with a reassuring smile "I'm right here for anything, just call for me if you feel like you're in danger" She nodded at him and Leo disappeared behind a curtain.

"Vic, are you up here?" Scott's voice called from down the stairs and Victoire steeled herself for the crowd that started walking her way.

-

TAGLIST: @saspas-corner

Thank you all who are enjoying this story! I can't wait to show you all what happens next!

[madwickedawesome]

getting bored and taking a shitload of uquizzes

silly <3 also this was super funny to me i would love to be symbolically murdered by my lover (i hate enemies to lovers but i could definitely do with the symbolism of my lover killing me <33)

wat da he'll!!!!!! its my favie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :3

SOOOO SILLY

this one was simply soooo adorable omg i struggled w answering some i am so deeply obsessed with the idea of love and being loved and everything that follows

@manuscripts-don-t-burn @pop-roxs TAJKE NOW

[twst-the-night-away]

14. What are your favorite music genres?

15. Do you play any instruments?  Which ones?  How long have you been playing?

Both Nadya and Rox!

Ask Nadya & Roswell!

(Well, they're who I want to focus on, but if you want to ask any of my other OCs these questions, I don't mind ...)

14. What are your favorite music genres?

Nadya's eyes light up and she bounces a little in her seat. "Ohhh boy. I like all kinds of music, ya know? I especially like it when two totally different genres or artists get mashed up together. Most of my routines are done to upbeat pop songs, so I'd say that's my favorite, but I also love hip-hop and EDM and anything that gets you moving!"

Roswell takes a moment to consider. "I enjoy listening to chanting and what is known as drone music. It allows my brain space to sort out new information in peace." He cocks his head. "Previous experience has shown me that my answer is quite eccentric. Would you care to inform me why?"

15. Do you play any instruments? Which ones? How long have you been playing?

"Ummm. I don't play anything," Nadya says. She shrugs. "But I can DJ a little bit. I wanted to learn how to, so I found an old record player and some old records nobody wanted at a thrift shop, and I figured it out." She beams. "I also know a little bit about remixing music, since I've gotta put my own mixes together for my routines and all. It's loads of fun. But actually playing anything? Not my thing."

"I do not play any instruments," Roswell replies. "But if I did, I would be interested in learning how to play the bagpipes, like Lilia. I find their sound to be uniquely fascinating."

[tjreidwrites]

This is a write up I did as a review for the Estival Festival in Kankakee Illinois September 2023. I originally posted in on my band’s (Bluprint) Facebook page. I wanted to do something a little different. It’s more of a short story of my day at the fest disguised as a review/ write up. Hope you all enjoy!

•

I rounded up the corner where the sidewalk would end, leading to a bridge that went across the river. It was a good idea to walk, I thought. Short cut.

The bridge gently swayed as I crossed the water. The clouds threatened rain, but it ended up being a good day that saw only a light drizzle. Light shower to stay cool. Any Kankakee area native with their sanity knows that fall hoodie weather is the best time of year. Midwest vibes. Hurt- your- face cold winters. Hot ass summers. And falls you wished would last longer, of course.

I keep on past the baseball field.

Step forward, the louder the music.

Trees surround the bandshell. The Don Palzer bandshell, a stage that will be used the right way today. Situated naturally amidst a natural amphitheater of rugged rock and trees. I came from behind the action, catching glimpses of the drummer's head, the vocalist too, but branches covered the rest of the band. How do they load their gear up the rock like that? I would find out later that the answer was; efficiently

I think that’s Melodic Industries inc. They're good. The music made me feel like dancing. I put a little hop in my step. The sign coming in said in bright oranges and light blues; ESTY FEST.

When I got to the entrance of the festival, I was greeted by friendly security guards and the smell of pizza. The pizza smelled good, but I needed something quick. The next truck over had waffle hot dogs. Fare Square.

That hit the spot.

The music had everyone smiling and greeting each other. After meeting up with some friends, we walked over to where the beer was sold. It was great to see two places that I already trusted and liked; On The Rox and Ryan’s Pier, supplying the fresh cold brew. Melodic industries wrapped up a great set. Next, we got to headbang. My favorite. Ephinepic crushed it. The metal vocals were on point.

Those vox were wet .

“What are you grinning at?” Blain Smith said. He was capturing the festival in high definition video. Recap set to be movie quality from the man himself.

“This band is sick. I’m gonna check out some vendors.”

If I would have come prepared, I could have added onto my modest retro game collection efficiently at the fest. Three tents of awesome pop culture stuff and video games. I considered getting Pokemon diamond for my rusty old DS, but the wall of funko pops distracted me.

I used the well placed and convenient porter potty and hand wash station, then made my way to the other part of the fest. On the way, I noticed a play area for the kids. Thoughtful, family friendly. The neat vendor tents seemed to go on forever. No complaints, that’s a positive in my book. Everything on display was interesting. Halloween right around the corner? Plenty for that. Flowers. Sports. Wood werx creations. Art. Jewelry. All leading up to the second stage, Faber financial stage. The second stage was the perfect size, and placed in a great spot past the vendors and plenty far away enough from the main stage.

I made my way back to the Art and Sol main stage when I heard The Katzpa Jammas start. I was delighted at the beautiful high notes, with grit, and a talented band to go with it. From the moment they began, I was locked in and captivated until the end.

As the sun went down, Vaudevileins and Luck of the Draw killed it. The energy was up. Neon lights bounced off the rock and bandshell. A sight to see. Everyone is dancing and having a good time. And this is a free show, I thought.

The vibe came and it stuck.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay all night.

I trudged up the hill and around the back of the main stage. Carrying torches, a band that sounded pro as hell (and has a knack for sounding better all the time) was my soundtrack as I left the festival. Who says there's never anything to do? I would have paid to get in. The purple, blue, red and random colored stage lights illuminated the little cove. The cool breeze came off the water and hit my face as I rounded back to the bridge.

Every step, the music got a little quieter.

I smiled, still happy I decided to walk. Things like the Estival Festival can turn a shit day good again, if you let it. Events like that can provide a creative spark, if you let it.

I was across the bridge, almost home. The music faded, but it was still there in the background. The hurt-your-face winters and the hot ass summers seemed far away.

During that walk home, I lived in the moment and realized that I had been the entire day. Music, and spending a day with good people in the community could have had something to do with it.

Or it’s just about having a good mindset, I thought.

“Nah, it’s the music.”

#bluprintband #estivalfestival

[gritpyre]

Rox gets asked how did she get so jacked a lot and whenever the topic pops up she just gives her best silly answer

[mynotsohealthyobsession]

Babe

Book: RoD

Pairing: Colt x MC

Warning: Fluff / A couple of swearing

Words: 1.267

**Tags in the reblog**

Ellie pulled the hem of the skirt she was wearing self-consciously. When she had tried it in the mall early that day, she had felt sexy, almost unstoppable. But now, leaning against Colt's bike with his arm around her waist, she wasn't so sure. Compared to all the other women there, she felt underdressed and dull. Like a kid pretending to be a grown up.

She always had struggled with her self esteem, even when she knew she shouldn't. She was smart enough to have a full scholarship, had amazing friends and a boyfriend that, even with his cranky personality, loved her. But, as she looked around, she couldn't avoid thinking how different she was from the rest of the women there. They all looked so confident, having fun, flirting around, wearing clothes that she wished to be brave enough to use. Sometimes she wondered if he maybe liked that type more, after all he had been in this world, surrendered by women like these, forever. While Colt was chatting with some guy about his bike, Ellie's eyes drifted around. The music mixed up with the noise of different engines and the voices of the excited crowd, enfolding her while her eyes drifted around, made her curious and a little thoughtful. His attention was in the conversation but his arm kept holding her, near to him, a little possessive, making her feel safe and happy to be with him.

"I'm going for a beer." His voice snapped her attention back to him. The guy had gone and they were alone again. "You want anything, El?"

"Um... No. I'm fine, thanks." She smiled at him.

"Suit yourself." He took her chin and smacked his lips against hers, briefly but intense enough, and stood up, releasing her waist and face. "I'll be right--"

"Well, well, well… What do we have here?" The voice, foxy and deep, came from behind his back where a woman was standing with one hand on her small waist and the other twisting a strand of her long hair between her fingers. "If it's no other than Colt Kaneko in flesh and blood." She grinned as Colt faced her.

"I didn't know you were back in town, Rox." His face was stoic as always, watching her walking towards him, completely ignoring Ellie. I look small beside Colt but, come on, I'm not invisible. The voice inside her complained and she narrowed her eyes at the brunette in front of them.

"I got back a few days ago." Ellie looked at Colt's face but he was serious as always. "I don't even get a hug?" She pouted exaggeratedly, her full lips popping out. "After all the fun we used to have together." She winked flirty. Oh, come on!

Ellie rolled her eyes and took a more detailed look at 'Rox', buffing annoyed. She was tall, probably taller than she was, walking in a pair of high and thin heels wearing just a short black dress with cuts showing her skin in the right places. Leaving little to the imagination, but enough. Her lips were voluminous, painted in a deep red and her hair long, almost to her waist, highlighting her perfect body. She not only is his ex but also is beautiful like a model. And she is shameless flirting with him.

"You know I don't hug." He leaned back to the bike, crossing his arms.

"Not with clothes, you mean." To Ellie's annoyance, she roamed his body with her eyes, noticing his muscles under the clothes. "What a shame. I would love to have you wrapped around me again." She flipped her hair back with her hand. Ugh. This is too much. She agreed with the inside voice.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, babe?" Okay, that was good. Her voice had sounded confident and the 'babe' thing hadn't come up wired. Rox took away her gaze from him, noticing her for the first time.

Before Colt could answer, she giggled, and fixed her perfectly cat-eye eyeliner stare in her. "I didn't know you were into middle school girls now." Ouch. Ellie's cheeks blushed with anger but quickly plastered a smile on her face. Fake, but still a smile.

"He isn't. I'm in college actually." She said, trying to sound as cold as she could.

"A goody two shoes? For real, Colt?" She laughed mockingly. Oh, that is. Game on.

"Cut it off, Rox." Colt took her waist again, rolling his eyes.

"It's okay, babe." Ellie replied, still grinning brightly. "It's true that I still look a little younger. But I guess that it's not a problem you have, right Rox?" She put the perfect amount of sarcasm in the last word.

"No, of course not. I don't need my ID to get in at clubs." Ellie chuckled, leaning against Colt's side, as close as she could, noticing his hold tightening around her.

"I don't doubt it! The bright side is that I will always look younger, even when i”m your age." She looked at him, still smiling, letting her hand casually touch his inner thigh. Who is the goody two shoes now, huh? "You never told me you were into older women too!" Even before watched her, she noticed Rox's anger. Ha! Checkpoint.

"I'm not." He squeezed her waist a bit as she made an exaggerated surprised face, staring at Rox again.

"Oh… I guess I just thought…" She moved her hand dismissively. "Nevermind."

"You thought what?" Her tone wasn't seductive anymore, fuming at Ellie. Perfect, exactly where I want you.

"Well, I thought you were at least 33 but my bad!"

"Excuse me?!" If this reaction didn't deserve a self pat on the back, she didn't know what would. Rox's eyes almost popped out of her face, a mix of fury and horror in them.

"I'm sorry. I guess that your heavy makeup marking the wrinkles around your eyes confused me." Colt snorted beside her as she enjoyed the fruits of her comment. Honestly, it felt really good. Rox stood as tall as she was, sending daggers to Ellie, who still smiled innocently. People really should stop underestimating me. Once more, she agreed with the voice.

"Of course you are mistaken. I guess people don't have to be smart anymore to go to college."

"If you say so." She looked at Colt again, completely ignoring her. "I changed my mind. I want a beer too, babe." She cupped his cheek, leading his face towards hers and passionately crushed her lips with his as he lowered his hand to her hips, pulling her closer.

"Ugh, whatever." She grinned into the kiss hearing her buff followed by her steps leaving them alone. Checkmate, bitch.

When they separated, settling again on the side of the bike, Colt lifted his eyebrow, intently observing her. "Really, El? Babe?"

"What? Maybe it's my new pet name for you."

"She made you that jealous huh?" He cockily grinned, looking at her cheeks flushing, crossing her arms, buffing a little.

"Shut up." He kept gazing at her with the corners of his lips still up with a smug smirk. "I'm not jealous."

"Let's pretend that I buy that." He rolled his eyes, standing again. "Do you still want that beer?"

"Sure thing, babe." Colt stared at her, serious and impasible, in silence. "Okay, yes, sounds weird."

"No kidding." He said ironically and she smirked at his annoyance.

"Yeah, you are too cranky for it." Without another word, he walked to one of the food trucks as Ellie sighed happily. After all, a victory, even the little ones, always felt satisfactory.

✨

[drake-the-incubus]

This is a gift for @striderhell from the Homestuck Secret Santa 2020 (@homestuckss). I was aiming for 3000 words but uh, Dirk as a muse didn’t want to continue exploring the concept of gender given his rigid but philosophical nature.

I hope this was good, and if not just gimme a shout and I’ll try and come up with something better. 

Word Count: 1521 Fandom: Homestuck Characters: Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde Relationships: Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde (Platonic/Friends)

Additional Notes: Roxy uses He/Him and They/Them, I’ve never finished the epilogues but I love NB Rox. Dirk uses no pronouns in this, as I wanted to try that out. 

Please enjoy Dirk exploring his gender. 

Sometimes in an effort to define ourselves, we feel trapped to conform to some rigid aspect or label in hopes to reach an understanding of who we are. At times this process can be frustrating and dissatisfying. Other people take weeks or days, and some of them take years or never figure it out. 

Perhaps gender, as a construct, can’t be fully understood, but we can understand ourselves as people without it. The tale before you, is only a short of someone who wishes to take a journey many end up doing, and most have never encountered.

Dirk was sitting in a cafe on Earth-C, sipping on a coffee in between tinkering with another pair of shades. The goal was updating and adding a better set of graphics, hoping to add some additional features to make things easier.

It had been a while since the Prince of Heart had seen the rest of the gods. Jake would visit once in a while, and they would have a friendly spar or talk. Roxy would message once in a while, letting Dirk know any spicy news about the rest.

Dave would randomly show up, they would stare each other down before both Striders would give a thumbs up and go their separate ways.

Rose would often come by, trading witty banter and wisdom. Both of them struggled with the massive impact of their god tiers and would often talk about it to one another.

Today though, Dirk decided a change of area would suit this project best, specifically needing to leave the workshop and enjoy some caffeine. Recently a problem developed that would continue to nag at the Prince even through the night. Lack of sleep was the reason why Dirk had picked a coffee shop. It made the most sense.

Gender did not.

Dirk had been going through a lot lately, and when Roxy had come out as trans, it had been taken pretty well by most of them. Not that it would be different if Dirk came out either, but rather that would take knowing what was going on.

This was a laughable moment, since they all had beaten the game, made it out and enjoyed their own little home in the midst of nothing. Creating entire worlds and civilizations with the help of their space and time players, but Dirk was sitting there, in a cafe, trying to figure out what gender even was and how it related to the god’s own identity.

Pronouns were hard, but so was even figuring this shit out. Making a copy of your brain at thirteen was much easier than figuring out if you’re cis or not, and Dirk didn’t know.

The more it was thought about, the more the thought cropped up, what if it turned out the being Cis wasn’t the result. Dirk was absolutely sure about not being a chick, nothing really appealed about that, but then again there was a very similar feeling over the current gender.

Man, agender or woman. Those were the categories that presented themselves currently. Working harder to connect the shades to the newly built chip, Dirk jolted when suddenly Roxy sat down across the table.

“I called out to you, but you didn’t answer.” He said leaning over and looking over the project. “I was wondering what made you change location, you’re pretty adamant to work in your workshop Dirkie.”

“I needed to think, which I was doing when you were calling out to me. Thinking so hard about creating a new line of orange pop with more caffeine than this cup of coffee that the world died out and I was left to only the one set of thoughts for once.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, and crossed his arms. “Really now? You think that I can’t tell something bigger is going on in that Strider head of yours? You’ve come up with projects while having a philosophical discussion with Rose and texting Dave a rap battle. You’re the king of multi-tasking, which also means your attention is usually divided more, and you’re attempting to put a wire on the wrong side of that.”

Dirk frowned and sighed, putting the project down. “Well, I can’t get nothing past you I suppose. I guess one thing that’s on my mind is how much I miss AR, since he was a good source of introspection, then again I have no idea if that would have helped in the first place.” Tapping fingers filled the space between them as the Prince looked outside at the billions of humans and trolls walking over the streets.

“I’ve been contemplating what gender is and how I relate to it since you came out as nonbinary. It’s been making me think about what is my gender, and I’ve come to the conclusion none of them really fit, but that’s also something to worry about since that means I don’t relate to any of the options-“

“Before you go on a long tangent, I want to ask, what are the options?” He interrupted Dirk while cocking his head.

“Agender, man and woman.” Dirk said bluntly, staring at Roxy. The laughter that resulted made the god tip the iconic shades down to stare at Roxy with deadpan orange eyes.

“I get greeted by your eye colour, score! But no, you got it all wrong, gender isn’t rigid categories, it’s a spectrum. You can’t define it by strict labels and there’s too many to count. So you don’t fit in three, there’s millions of genders. Some might not have a word for it right now. I’m nonbinary, but that’s because I’m not a man or a woman completely, I’m somewhere in the middle, closer to a man if I were to describe it as like, a sliding scale. So don’t be in a hurry, and don’t worry if you don’t figure it out.”

“I need to. Not knowing makes things difficult. I know it might be unhealthy to obsess over, but ever since I made Auto Responder, I had the need to understand myself fully and everything about myself.” With an elbow on the table, Dirk took a hand and raked it through the mess of hair. Having done so more than a hundred times earlier, the Prince was sure it was a complete and utter mess at this point, and would need to be taken care of at home.

“Well, I have a list of some of the other more known ones, maybe one of them check out for you?” He offered a tablet.

Dirk took it, and looked over the list of options and each description of it, mumbling under breath before placing the tablet back down with a definite, “I’m going to use Genderless for now and see what happens.” It looked interesting, the excerpt specifically outlined not having a gender at all due to neurodivergence, rather than lacking a gender or having no gender, different from agender. It didn’t feel much different from everything else, but nothing did. Having several of the entries be defined by one’s neurodivergence was weird, but the more thought placed into the concept, the more it felt real to Dirk. Rather it meant that the Prince would have to take Rose up on her offer to get a fully evaluation soon, even if both of them came to the conclusion Dirk was probably neurodivergent and that it wasn’t impactful with how the god had lived life before the game. 

“Are there any pronouns I should use for you?”

Pursing lips, Dirk gave a shake of the head. “None preferably. I think I need more time to actually think everything over. I have no positive or negative feelings for anything on there, and so I’m debating on if I’m everything or not. I can figure out how to make an exact replica of my own brain as a teenager, create robots, plot out the exact way I can kiss Jake and even save everyone's lives getting into the game. I’ve designed complex interactions to lead to the outcome I desire, and I can’t even pick a gender. This is quite frankly, ridiculous.”

“You don’t gotta. Dirk, it’s not about just picking a gender, it’s about figuring out a big part of yourself, and something most people don’t do for yours. You figured out you’re gay, now you’re figuring out what else you could be.” He placed a hand on Dirk’s and gave him a smile. “Whatever your result, I’m here for you. Even if you later think you’re a Cis man I’ll still be here for you. We might be siblings but we were friends first and that matters the most to me.”

Dirk gave a snort. “This is so fucking corny, but thanks Rox. I appreciate the love and support. Maybe I can treat you to another coffee since I feel like if I don’t buy one soon I’m going to be kicked out for making a mess of a window table.” Motioning towards the table, and standing up, the god stretched out. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Caramel Macchiato please.”

“Gotcha.”

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Wanna hear a scenario that lives in my head rent free and rotates in there like rotisseire chicken?

Ruin ending where Cassie survives the elevator but believes the Mimic's latest trick so now she thinks Gregory did betray and attempted to kill her.

Friendship no more.

And Cassie is now absolutely out to get him. But she doesn't want to simply kill him or anything like that, oh no. Instead she works on then strikes him where it hurts the hardest by taking what he likes the most away from him:

Freddy.

But I don't mean as in destroying Freddy (I don't think she'd be that far gone,) but by attempting to destroy Gregory's friendship with Freddy; or at least, throw a huge wrench into it.

How? Imagine the cam stations let Cassie access and salvage parts of old footage from the former camera system from the day SB happened; footage of Freddy telling Gregory not to hurt his friends because the problem may be something beyond their control, then sweet sweet footage of Gregory planning, staging and purposely destroying his friends (heck, he straight up pushes Chica from behind into the trash compactor!) to rip away their parts, in contrast to the lies he'd always told Freddy that his friends had suffered accidents as means to hide in intentional involvement.

And Cassie shows Freddy all that footage, evidence that his "superstar" had lied to him since day one, and that their friendship had been founded on these lies and deception.

Whether Freddy decides to distance himself from Gregory or not, is debatable. But even if not, Cassie still wins, because no way Gregory and Freddy's friendship would remain the same after that.

Toddles!

Oh this is good. I've been staring at it all day.

This relies on the idea that Freddy doesn't like... already know. I feel like he does ngl, but doesn't that make it worse? Cassie could be there, believing that Freddy deserves to know the truth, that vengeance is sweet, but he needs to know what his "superstar" did to his friends... but then he already knows. Not the specifics of course, he wasn't there to see any of that, but he knew about it, and allowed it to happen. Of course, seeing it for himself is a different feeling to just knowing and not really acknowledging it, so it would definitely change things, but it's not what Cassie had wanted. It's not what she expected.

She's angry, she's upset, and she expected better of Freddy than this. She expected him knowing the truth to be the only payback she needed. Non-violent and passive in execution, simply allowing the consequences of Gregory's actions to come back and bite him but then it doesn't.

And suddenly, Cassie understands why Roxy had been so aggressive about both of them. This isn't what she wanted at all, she feels like he's taken yet another thing from her and gotten off with barely a slap on the wrist... but what about Vanessa? What if Gregory lives with her now? What if seeing that stuff changes her perspective and alters how she sees Gregory?

Vanessa was as in control at the time as Roxy, Chica and Monty were. What gave her a pass, and not them? If he and Freddy both knew she could be saved, why didn't they try to save the others? Why was it just her? How is she supposed to process this information on top of everything else?

What if Cassie realises that she did get that revenge, just not in the way she wanted? Vanessa takes this information and starts to make visits to the Plex to check in on everyone, having not realised they were even still there after the place seemingly caved in. What if they bring Bonnie back and now, since Freddy is no longer welcome, his relationship with Gregory gets more tense? What if by taking this to Freddy and Vanessa, Cassie and the others get a new friend in Vanessa, Freddy and Gregory get a bit more distanced from her, and Cassie still feels like she's won? She may not have severed Freddy's trust in Gregory, but she still did some damage...

Or what if she does all this, but in the end it just feels wrong? What if she succeeds in her goal but it just feels hollow and empty, completely void of the satisfaction she'd hoped to gain? Would it make her see Roxy in a new light because she was on the Freddy warpath this whole time, right by her side, and she seems completely satisfied with this outcome? Or if she doesn't, what if Cassie watches her fucking clock him out for her own satisfaction and thinks "hey if it works for her... why don't I do that?"

There's so much to think about here that's a fun one

[myloveforhergoeson]

for the ask game, i think question 12 (a song they hate/dislike) might be an interesting one to answer!

YES OH MY GOD my friend this is such a good one thank you for sending it in

send me a number 1-15!!

Roxy

hey there delilah by the plain white t's if anyone remembers all the way back to chapter 2, when kendall raids her box of tapes he pops one into her tape player called 'for my songwriter' and that was the first song on there. it's one of mag's favorite songs, and one he placed on a tape he made for his other band members (rox/dani). while it was a song she used to like quite a good deal, and one she would often break out on the ol' guitar, she hasn't been able to listen to it since she left brand new day

2. Carlos

c'est la vie by b*witched his sisters played this non-stop after it first came out... he could not escape this song EVER it just drives him up the wall because he's heard it soooo much

3. Kendall

teenage dirtbag by wheatus DO NOT TELL ROXY IT'S BECAUSE SHE PLAYED IT ON HER RADIO SHOW TOO MUCH!! it makes him think of standing at the checkout line at the grocery store and dealing with bitchy customers with a million coupons while the most generic (again, don't tell her) 90s music played over the store loudspeaker

4. Logan

hot n cold by katy perry NOT becuase he thinks it's a bad song... it just got suck in his head during finals week of his freshman year and it got in the way of his ability to retain the proper information for his tests! talk about being wrong while it's right... he was too busy trying to get that earworm out of his head while he was doing his exams and now hearing it reminds him of the first b he ever earned in school

5. James

piano man by billy joel one of his dad's favorite songs... he used to make james play it on the piano a lot when his parents still lived together and he'd sing along to make his mom laugh. before his parents got divorced he caught them fighting once and ran to the piano to play what he considered 'their' song and they just yelled at him to go to his room : ( the piano did NOT sound like a carnival

[adolanables]

Bleed (G.D.) Part 2

Masterlist

Based off the song CHAMPION by ELINA

“Do you get high when I hit my lows? I hope you feel like you’re a champion when you break my heart once and for all.”

“Hey Roxie!” Madison pulled her friend into a hug with a big smile on her face, the bright lights of the set nearly blinding Roxie. 

“Hey babe, how are you?” Roxie smiled at the girl who was currently sitting in a makeup chair getting her hair done for her newest music video. Madison Beer and Roxie Castro had been friends for nearly as long as Roxie and Grayson. Every photoshoot, video shoot, you name it, Roxie had done Madison’s make up. Today was no different. She had almost cancelled considering everything that had happened yesterday, but she needed the money and she owed Madison. She had ran out of the house before Grayson had even woken up, ensuring she wouldn’t accidentally run into him. 

“Exhausted, but ready to shoot.” Smiling and taking a sip of her coffee, Madison watched as Roxie started taking out her supplies. “How’s life at the Dolan residence?” Madison knew how close Grayson and Roxie were, but no one truly knew the extent of their relationship besides Ethan. Everyone always speculated that there was no way two insanely hot people could be that close and never do anything. They always denied the accusations, not wanting the rumors to spread and weasel their way into their private friendship. 

“Same old, same old.” Shrugging and dipping a brush into a clear primer, Roxie began to go to work on Madison’s look. “Ethan’s got a girlfriend - Maria - she’s just great.” 

“And Grayson?” Raising an eyebrow, Madison peered up through her lashes at her friend. “Word around town is he’s finally becoming that fuck boy everyone thought he already was.”

“Oh?” As she began the foundation, Roxie cleared her throat. “Yeah - um - he does seem to be taking advantage of that a lot more lately.” 

“Weird shift.” Madison shrugged her shoulders and let out a sigh, deciding to drop the subject. “Anyways, a big group of us are going out tonight - a lot of people with fakes so you’d be fine if you wanted. Pleaaase come.” She stuck her lower lip out in a pout that made Roxie chuckle and just nod her head; what could it hurt?

When Roxie got home, she was relieved to see Grayson’s car missing from the driveway. As she walked through the silent house, she realized she was here completely alone. Taking advantage of the silence, she made herself a salad and ate it quietly out on the back patio with her feet in the pool. As much as she loved living here - well, before all the shit with Grayson - it was usually pretty loud. The twins were always yelling about something and if they weren’t, the music was blaring - a moment of peace and quiet was rare. 

As the twins walked into the house with acai bowls in hand, Ethan smacked a stiff arm across Grayson’s chest. He could tell he was about to walk outside and try to talk to Roxie as if nothing had happened. “Give her one day… please?” Ethan felt like he was the literal physical barrier between the two and he sometimes wondered what would happen if he just stopped trying to intervene. He thought they’d surely have killed each other by now. 

“Fine.” Grayson huffed, rolling his eyes and wandering off to his bedroom - not hesitating to slam the door shut. Ethan rolled his eyes as Roxie’s head whipped around at the loud sound, a small smile appearing on her lips as he waved at her. Ethan couldn’t read Roxie the way Grayson could, but knowing someone for five years gives you some pretty good insight. 

“What’s up, E?” Her smile was wide as her friend sat down next to her and shoved a big bite of food into his mouth. 

“Fucking starving.” Mumbling, but nudging her in the side with his elbow, he continued. “What’re you up to today?”

“Think I’m gonna go out with Madison tonight.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and set the empty salad bowl down next to her. “What about you?”

“Maria invited me over for some surprise.” Letting out an awkward laugh at how that sounded he clarified. “Think she’s making me dinner… are you gonna be okay alone here tonight?”

“Yeah, for sure.” Pushing herself up off the ground and shooting Ethan that signature smile she turned on her heel to head back inside. “Worst case scenario I’ll just stay at Madison’s.”

As the door shut softly, Ethan blew out a puff of air. He always felt like he had to be the middle-man between Roxie and Grayson. Their fights were so bad sometimes he had to barge into whoever’s room they were in and pull them apart. It was so unhealthy, but if you ever tried to tell either of them that, they’d look at you like you had three heads. He really wondered if all of their fighting and confusion would just be solved if they both gave in and actually dated each other. They were both so hard-headed he wasn’t sure it would ever happen, but he knew things were getting worse. The way Grayson was acting made him worry for Roxie. 

Roxie didn’t go out all that often and she got drunk even less. She wasn’t as weary of alcohol as the twins were, but she didn’t like to do much of anything that meant Grayson couldn’t come with her. When she did drink, it was usually when she was emotional and it always ended badly. Always. Ethan couldn’t remember a time when she had gone out for drinks and just peacefully gone home to sleep. He was kind of grateful he’d be gone tonight, but he hoped the night wouldn’t be too eventful that he wished he would have been there.

-

With one last swipe of her lip gloss, Roxie grabbed her red clutch - glanced at herself one last time in the mirror and headed off. It was nearing 9PM and Madison was outside the Dolan house in an Uber waiting for Roxie. They were going to a pregame before they headed to the bars. As Roxie’s heels clicked through the hardwood of the house, Grayson’s attention was drawn from the protein shake he was about to make. 

“Where ya headed?” He popped his head out of the kitchen just in time to catch the back of his best friend’s head that had been straightened to perfection. She had on a pair of ripped light jeans that showed her fishnet tights and see-through black bodysuit. The way she whipped her head around to shoot daggers into him made his dick tingle - god, she looked good. Something about the anger turned him on to no end. 

“Out.” One word was all she gave him, quickly ripping the door open and slamming it behind her. Grayson rolled his eyes and just sighed; she was mad at him and absolutely smoking - great. 

“Oh man.” Madison’s smile got wider as Roxie slid into the leather seat next to her. “You look good, babe.”

-

Grayson couldn’t get Roxie out of his head that night. She looked so fucking good and it wasn’t for him and he was pissed. The girl he had invited over had bailed for the night and he didn’t feel like trying to set up new plans. Ethan was gone so Grayson wasn’t sure what to do with the rest of his evening. Roxie rarely went out without him and he knew the only reason she did tonight was because she was pissed at him. 

“Hey, E-” Grayson spoke quickly into his phone, the uncertainty of where Roxie was overwhelming him. Before Ethan could respond, Grayson was sputtering again. “Any chance you know where Rox was going out?”

“Nope, sorry bro.” He had only answered the phone in fear something bad had already happened with Roxie and Grayson; the last thing he was going to do was tell Grayson where she could be. 

The phone call ended quickly after that, Grayson letting out a frustrated sigh as he tossed his phone onto the couch. Surely Roxie would come home sometime around 1AM absolutely hammered and start some sort of argument with Grayson. They’d yell at each other for a bit and maybe Grayson would get laid. That’s how it always played out at least - he figured he would just watch Netflix until she stumbled through the door in a few hours.

Meanwhile, across town at a vlog squad pregame, Roxie was six shots and two hits deep. Her eyes were slightly hooded making her already lusty face look even more seductive. It was no secret that Roxie was a hot commodity in Los Angeles. She was beautiful, friendly, and oh so funny. On top of that, she was essentially completely unattainable. Everyone knew how close she was with the Dolan twins and even though they denied being more than friends, no one ever wanted to step on Grayson’s toes. 

The news of Grayson’s shenanigans over the past month had spread like wildfire and all of a sudden, any unspoken restriction on Roxie was null and void. If Grayson was sleeping around, there was no reason she couldn’t make decisions like that for herself too. Jeff Wittek’s left arm was slung around Roxie’s waist as she took another gulp of her vodka lemonade. She’d always thought Jeff was hot - probably because he and Grayson shared similar features. To add the cherry on top, he was the definition of bad news - Roxie’s ideal choice for a man to give attention to. 

“You want another hit?” Jeff nudged her, taking a puff of the joint between his fingers. She nodded softly, taking it from him and taking a slow drag - her eyes fluttering shut as she let the high continue to wash over her. She didn’t even notice the bright flash of a camera on the side of her face as she handed the blunt back to Jeff and gave him a small smile. 

-

Back on the couch, Grayson was thumbing through snapchat stories mindlessly - his heart dropped when that familiar face popped up on his screen. It was always interesting to see what influencer’s posted on their private accounts, but Grayson really did not expect to see Roxie taking a hit with Jeff from the vlog squad practically feeling her up. He let out a loud yell, throwing his phone across the room in anger as he ran a hand through the hair that had fallen down onto his forehead. The only thought running through his head at the moment: what an absolute bitch. 

Grayson felt absolutely betrayed. He had done so much for Roxie - even going as far to offer her part of his home. He’d left girls for her - never admitting that was the real reason but they both knew the truth. He wanted to explore his options and see how good it felt to succumb to the countless women throwing themselves at him. Shit, it felt good - endless women each night practically crying about how hot he was. Some days it felt like he could never get enough of it, every dream he had of marrying young and having kids had flown out of his head in the last few weeks. He wanted this type of praise for the rest of his life. If Roxie couldn’t handle that and stay by his side like she had for years, he wasn’t sure if there was a place for her in his life anymore.

-

“Hey, are you okay?” Madison’s hand gripping Roxie’s wrist was the only thing she could focus on - the rest of the building spinning around her rapidly. She wasn’t sure how much she’d had to drink since they’d gotten to the bar. They were in a VIP booth with bottle service and she was taking full advantage of all of the attention she was getting. Jeff was fully on track to bed Roxie that night, until a guy slid a hand over her ass and Jeff threw a punch. It didn’t take long for him to get tossed out and for Roxie to throw back even more drinks. 

“Mhm!” She threw a smile up at her friend; definitely a fake one, but it was enough to convince a drunk Madison she was genuinely fine. 

As Roxie twirled around in a circle, looking at all these people she really didn’t know, she felt her heart tighten - she just wanted Grayson. Gripping her clutch tightly, she stumbled out of the section and shoved through crowds of people, slapping hands away that tugged on her body. When the cool air of the night hit her face, she realized she had no idea where she was going. Without much thought, she dug her phone out of her bag and pressed the first person in her phone. 

“If you’re asking me to pick you up, you can hang up now.” His voice was gruff and irritated, on the other side, he was gripping his phone tightly- surprised it wasn’t about to break. It felt like he was punching himself in the stomach as he heard her shakily sigh on the other end - he was pissed at her. Grayson went through so many phases of anger with Roxie. One second he was ready to never speak to her again, the next he was wanting to wrap her up in a ball and hold her tightly to him. The rollercoaster of emotions between them was never ending. 

“Gray, please…” She whined, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers as she swayed back and forth on the sidewalk. 

“Fuck - fine.” He yelled, hanging up abruptly and making Roxie jump. Grayson was always so loud and explosive, sometimes he scared her - if she was being honest. No, he’d never hit her and he’d never honestly hurt her, but he could very badly if he wanted to. She always wondered how far they could push each other before he snapped. 

Grayson drove like a mad-man to the pin Roxie had sent him with her location. He was absolutely fuming, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. The audacity of this girl to call him for a ride after she’d been all over fucking Jeff. He couldn’t believe it. As he pulled up to the club, his stomach dropped seeing Roxie leaning up against the side of the building with her arms folded, her head staring down at the ground. God, sometimes she was so oblivious - anyone could drive by and snatch her right now and she’d have no warning. 

“Roxie.” He rolled the window down, his face softening as she whipped her head up to smile widely at him, running over to the car and quickly getting inside. It’s not like she had forgotten that they were pissed at each other, but it was hard to feel two things at once when she was this drunk. Right now she was just excited he was giving her a ride home. She smelled like alcohol and weed, but the vanilla of her perfume was still out shadowing the rest. “Why didn’t you get a ride from Jeff?”

“What?” She snapped at him as she buckled her seatbelt. How the hell did he even know she was with Jeff?

“Madison posted him all up on you on her snap.” He seethed, shoving his phone into her face to watch the video for herself. Roxie scoffed as she watched the overall harmless video that of course Grayson would get mad about. It was like she was his to control and he could do whatever the hell he wanted. 

“So you can literally fuck a different girl each night, but I can’t side hug someone?” Her words were slurred as she yelled, arms folded across her lap as she tossed his phone into the console. “Bullshit.”

“Do you want to fuck someone new every night?” Clenching his jaw and pressing down the gas pedal slightly, his voice was low and raspy. He knew she was going to say no, but part of him wanted her to say yes so he could yell at her - so he could justify what he was doing. He knew she would never do that to him, but if she did, maybe he wouldn’t feel so wrong for doing it to her. 

“No.” Roxie shook her head and rested it against the cool glass window, her lower lip sticking out just slightly. 

Grayson didn’t speak the rest of the drive home, stealing quick glances over at Roxie who was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. Somehow, she looked even better than she did before she left that evening - her makeup was worn off slightly and her rosy cheeks and nose made him smile to himself. When they finally got home, she was having a hard time getting into the house without falling - Grayson jogged over to her and gripped her by the elbow, tugging her inside. 

“Don’t touch me.” She snapped, huffing as he finally got her to her room and pushed her down onto the bed. Grayson was about to respond, but he didn’t - turning on his heel to leave her alone for the night. Roxie wasn’t having it, she just couldn’t. Something about alcohol and Grayson made her blood boil and she wasn’t capable of just dropping it. “When did you become such a piece of shit, hm?”

“Roxie.” Grayson warned, turning around slowly with his arms folded across his chest. He watched with a raised eyebrow as she kicked her stilettos off and started shimmying her tight pants down her legs.

“No - fuck you.” Huffing in frustration as she finally got the pants off, sitting on the edge of her bed in a pair of fishnet stockings and a thong bodysuit. “This -” She pointed up and down at her gorgeous body with raised eyebrows. “Is laid out in the room next to yours every fucking night and you’re choosing to stick your dick in something else - seriously?”

“Don’t start.” He warned her again, eyes raking over her as she stood up, her hands on her hips with dark hair cascading down her side. There wasn’t an ounce of a lie in what she said. Grayson had never seen someone hotter than Roxie in his entire life and he knew he never would. 

“I know no one is fucking you like me.” Her voice was soft as she traced a finger down the white t-shirt on his chest. “I know none of these boring bitches dig into you like I do.” Cocking her head to the side as Grayson’s eyes darkened and he gulped. “What the fuck is your problem, hm? Confidence shot? Worried your dick isn’t good? What is it?”

“Don’t speak to me like that.” He seethed, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt her fingers scratch up under his shirt across his tight abs. God - she was infuriating. 

“Little Dolan scared his little dick can’t do the job anymo-”

Her words were cut short as Grayson gripped her smaller body and threw her back against the bed, a loud yelp leaving her lips as her body slammed onto the mattress. Grayson had shoved her against walls, maybe even choked her a little too hard at times, but he’d never thrown her like this - so hard her neck whipped back so fast she was sure she had whiplash. Grayson felt his stomach drop as he watched her body smack onto the bed like a rag doll. He hadn’t meant to throw her so hard - truly he hadn’t. He wanted to toss her onto the bed so he could crawl onto her, maybe intimidate her a bit so he could have the upper hand. As her hand came up to clutch her neck, she let out a soft whimper. 

“Rox - hey…” He muttered, rushing to the side of the bed to crouch down so he could see her face without her having to sit up. Her eyes were glossy and she looked at him like he was a complete stranger. “I didn’t mea-”

“Get the fuck away from me you sick fuck!” Her voice was loud and cracking as she screamed at him. Face crumpling up in pain as she held her neck tightly. 

Grayson’s eyes widened as he watched tears run down her face. Roxie didn’t cry very much - it was pretty limited to dying dog scenes in movies and the occasional sob story. When it came to Grayson, Roxie held her tears back to release in private - even when she was completely intoxicated. As he watched her sob in front of him, he felt completely helpless. His only defense was to pretend she was crying just to make him feel bad - he knew she wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to acknowledge his mistakes at this point. He was in too deep. 

“Fucking bitch.” He scoffed, pushing himself up off the floor and glancing down at her one more time. She was staring up at him with squinted eyes and black streaks down her face. “I hope you realize how bad you fucked up when you’re not sloppy in the morning.”

Roxie let out a choked sob as Grayson slammed her door shut, the mug full of pencils on her desk slamming to the ground and shattering into pieces. She knew she was drunk, but she wasn’t going to forget what he just did to her.

[we-are-dreamers42]

Nightingale: Too Broken Too Fix Part I

Bucky Barnes x OGcharacter

photo by me.

This is the backstory or prequel of Alexandra Thomas before entering the official world of the Marvel Universe.

Word Count: 2,069

Series List

All Alexandra’s targets are scattering with no chance of finding them. She has one night to finish the men or find the others. It’s one or the other. How do you choose? 

WARNINGS: There are mentions of sexual abuse, violence, and swearing

Chapter 5

Roxy, and I are at Timmy’s the next morning. I gave him the drive to unload, and go through. Unfortunately he found a mass email that was sent to the rest of my targets, and then some warning them about me. That meant that they’re going to disappear. If that happened I’ll never find the others. They’ll move them or kill them. Either way I was out of time.

“Is there any way to know where they’re being kept?”

“I’ll keep searching.”

“This is bad. This is really bad.” I sat next to Rox that’s popping Tylenol for her hangover. 

She puts her arms around my shoulders to comfort me. “You’ll get this done.” 

“I hate just sitting here.”

“Then take a walk. When you get back Timmy will find something.”

“Okay. Call me if he finds anything.”

“The moment it happens.”

“Thanks.” Instead of a walk I ran. I didn’t have a destination, but I just needed to get the frustration out. If I lost these kids. If they’re moved or killed everything I did would’ve been for nothing.

Roxy called, making me stop. “What did he find?”

“Coordinates. One in the middle of the desert out of town, and another is a hotel.”

“Send them to me.” The hotel must be The Grand Hotel, but the one in the desert. That has to be where they’re kept. I had tonight. I save the kids or I kill all the men. If I just save the kids the men get away, and set up in some other city. If I go after the men I lose the kids.

Before I could make a decision one fell right in front of me. Over a dozen police cars speed down the street blaring their sirens. Overhead a helicopter was hovering. “You are surrounded. Get on the ground with your hands up.”

I started to sprint in the opposite direction. Running through the city I got a call. It’s Roxy. I ducked into an alley. “Hey I’m a little busy right now.” I answered.

“I can see that. You’re on the news.”

“Great. Any ideas?” A cop car stopped in front of the alley’s opening. I darted the other way. They shoot at me. I get around the corner, and out of their sight.

“Get out of there.” Roxy said still on the phone.

“No shit.”

“Go to the pier they won’t shoot if there’s civilians. Lose them in the crowds.”

Better than nothing. I pocket my phone. The pier was five blocks from here, but I had to go the way I came. I emerged from the alley on the other side of the street. There were barricades of cop cars on either side of the road.

“You have nowhere to go.” One of them yelled.

I put my hands up to surrender. One of the officers walked up to me with his gun aimed at me. He got closer. I grabbed the gun’s barrel with my left hand, and pushed his hand away with my right, disarming him.

I used his body to block behind me while I shot at the cops in front of me. I never aimed at them. Just close enough that they took cover. Once out of bullets I threw the officer I had and jumped over the barricade of cars. Then ran like hell.

One block, two, three. I saw the pier, and the people. I could actually get away from this. Then something hard hits me in the back knocking me down. I looked behind me to see what the hell hit me. All I saw was a red, white and blue shield. Fuck me. Getting out of here just became impossible. 

“Look, I don’t want to fight.” I said getting up.

“You should've thought of that before murdering people.” Captain America stood in front of me. Roxy would be so jealous. I could see how she finds him so attractive, but right now really wasn’t the time.

He walked to me. I threw a punch that he caught. He pushed against me, and I pushed back. “It’s not what you think. It isn’t murder.”

“What would you call it?”

“Justice.”

I sweep his leg forcing him down on his knees. I spin, and elbow him in his face. Before I could get away he used his shield to push me back. I grabbed the edges, and pushed against him.

For a beefcake like him he should be way stronger than me, but we’re at a stand still. Both using all our strength, but going nowhere. He looked at me, and his face contorted to a confused look. “Alexandra?”

Hearing him say my name threw me off. He took advantage of my hesitation, and used his shield to knock me over. Before I could get up there were a bunch of guns pointed at my head. This time I raised my hands, actually giving up.

I sat in an interrogation room. My arms, legs and torso are strapped down so I couldn’t move. I should be panicked about being caught, and how I’m never going to get out of here without hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it. But I’m not. I’m panicked at how Steve Rogers knew my name. There was no way. Technology I didn't exist. I’ve never had a job, drivers license, not even a social security number. So how?

An older man with an eye patch comes in. “So you’re Nightingale. The one terrorizing this city. Honestly when I look at you. I don’t see much.

“How did you find me?”

“Caught your little encounter with Mike Hammel yesterday. When he was found splattered on a sidewalk we followed the lead. Finding you was easy. Finding out who you are is a different story. Who are you?”

If Captain America didn’t tell them who I was, maybe he doesn’t know. But how would he know my name? “Who I am doesn’t matter.”

“Does to us, and to the families of the men you killed.”

“Ha! Those men’s families have no idea who they actually are. If they did, they wouldn’t care about me.”

“Then enlighten me on what those men did.”

That’s when the idea hit me.  Save the kids and get the men. Two birds with one Steve. “You must’ve tried to get into my phone already haven’t you? Just look at that.”

“We haven’t cracked the password yet.”

“I’ll tell you, but I want to talk to Captain America.”

“You are in no position to make demands.”

“I am if I give you all the answers you need. My full confession.”

“Fine.” He left. If I could convince someone to help me. It’s the most righteous man in the world. Moments later he walked in with the red, white and blue suite. He sat across from me.

“Papaya is the password.” He raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t pick it.”

“What’s on the phone?”

“Evidence, and coordinates.” For this specific situation I had all the evidence on that phone. It’s under a few files deep in the system. Product of Timmy.

“Evidence of what?”

“Of how all my targets committed a crime that couldn’t go unpunished. What I did was necessary. I’m not a bad person. Not one kill I enjoyed.”

“Then why do it? No one deserves death.” His eyes suddenly narrowed in on me. They found the files.

“These men do.”

“Who are you?”

“You tell me.” He gave nothing away on his face. “It’s hard to have an identity when you’re locked in a cage.”

“Why give us everything?”

“Tonight is it. The coordinates I believe are where the others are kept. The other is a hotel where the people responsible gather.”

“You don’t expect us to believe you.”

“There is a reason I wanted to talk to you. You tell me if I'm lying.” I leaned in as far as I could. “Nothing is more important than saving those kids. I will comply completely with you. I know you know it’s the right thing to do.”

He leaned into. “What if you’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

He paused. “You’ll be staying here while we go.”

“No, I have to be there.”

“Not a chance.”

“I’ll stay by your side the whole time… I can’t abandon them when I’m this close.”

He stared at me for a bit. It was starting to get uncomfortable, but I never looked away.

We stood yards away from a rundown warehouse in the middle of the desert.

“There are almost a dozen men fully armed.” Said an Agent.

“Any hostages?” Captain asked.

“Many.”

Captain America looked over at me. “You do not leave my side.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

He decided that we would go stealthy. To not tip off anyone, and they start shooting the others. We charged at the building. There were no lights coming from the building. So getting there undetected was easy.

Getting close to the building he held his hand up in a fist. I thought it was weird. So I just continued forward.

There was one guard outside. I put him in a choker hold to knock him out. Not to kill. That was the only thing for Cap to let me come with. 

He came up behind me. “This.” He did the motion again. “Means wait.”

“Sorry.”

“Just stay behind me.”

We got inside, and it’s just an empty warehouse. There was a side door. I walked up to it remembering that’s where the controls to the cells are. 

I stood to the side while he kicked in the door. Waking up the sleeping guard. He reached for his gun. Cap threw his shield, knocking the gun to the ground. Catching his shield he moves in, and kicks the man into the wall knocking him out.

“Impressive.” Don’t get on his bad side. Noted.

“Top floor secure.” He said into his comms. The rest of the agents moved in. 

On the cameras there are 3 floors below us. I counted two guards on each floor of twelve cells. Thirty six cells in total.

The first floor was easy. It was strange how easily we are able to fight together so flawlessly. Especially our first time working together. I took the guard down the hall while he took care of the one closer to him. There was one more guard at the end of the hall As I ran he shot at me. 

“Alex.” Cap called out. I looked behind my shoulder. He threw me the shield. Catching it I used it to deflect the guards shots, and got closer for me to use it to knock him down. 

“Thanks.” I said giving it back to him. Also I was a little put off that he called me Alex, but now wasn’t the time to mull over it.

The next two floors we took care of the guards. I watched as the others were escorted by Captain America. The symbol of freedom. It was so special to watch. Then realizing that things will be okay from now on.

After clearing the last floor I asked. “Is anyone here named Clay?”

None of them spoke up. I didn’t push, knowing that they’re still scared. Instead I walked into what used to be my old cell. I saw the tallies that I scratched into the wall. It was the way I kept track of the days.

“They’re all out. You know what happens now don’t you?” Cap said. He stands at the threshold of the cell not coming in. I understood. I didn’t want to be here either, but I needed to see if it was still here.

“I go back to a cell not so different from this one.” I pulled out the loose brick. There was my notebook. “I made my bed, and I will lay in it.” I knew this was where my path would lead. I was ready for it.

Turning around he was studying me. “This has all the names you need. Please get the rest of them.”

He took the book, and without looking away. “I’ll do it personally.”

I never felt the need to cry for a long time. As I’m escorted out of the building in cuffs I saw EMT’s, and police everywhere making sure that everyone was alright. As I know that I’ll never see any of them after today I know that’ll be finally okay. I felt pride in that.

Chapter 6

[muse-oleum]

Fucknemies part II

Long time no see! This is part two of my series Fucknemies, following Harry Hart and Agent Kay (haven’t named her; don’t think i will at this stage). 

You can find part I here. 

Enjoy! 

Summary: Agent Kay wakes up after being shot. Harry and her have a heart to Hart. 

Word count: 1.2 k

Warnings: none 

Kay woke up with the disagreeable sensation of having drunk too much. The feeling was so unnatural that she laid there for a few minutes, wondering why she had broken her lifelong promise to never drink. 

“Who’s the moron who got me drunk last night?” she moaned pitifully, the pain in her body becoming more of a background lull as she heard someone fidget with something by the side of her bed. 

“No one mate, you did this all by yourself.” 

A brief silence.

“Eggsy?”

“Yeah. Welcome back to the world bruv. Happy you’re not dead.” 

“Why would I be dead?”

“Cuz you took a bullet, you moron. In the thigh. Brushed the artery and it wasn’t pretty. Ya should have heard Harry swear.” 

“Well, fuck.”

“You don’t say. How are you feeling?”

“Like a train hit me and then decided once wasn’t enough.”

“Rox said the same when she was shot. Said it felt like a really, really bad hangover except you didn’t even have the blessings of oblivion.”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Kay cleared her throat. Immediately, someone had a glass of water ready. She hadn’t noticed the shadow on her right. Opening her eyes slightly and wincing against the brightness of the room, she could just about make out who it was. 

“Harry?” 

Eggsy shot him a questioning look. He’d never heard Kay call Harry by his name. She’d always made a point of using his code name, always with the same slightly sarcastic tone which infuriated him. Now she was almost… shy? Unsure?

“You need to rest. We just came in to see if you were stable.”

That was a lie and they all knew it. 

“And the monitors couldn’t tell you that?” 

“Couldn’t stop him, bruv.”

There was another silence. Eggsy stood up, clearing his throat. 

“I promised Merlin I’d pop by. He’s got a new contraption to test and I pissed him off.”

“Thought I did that.”

“Yeah well you’d already paid enough for that, I reckon.”

Kay heard the infirmary door close softly. Harry shifted in his sit, toying with the end of his tie as he took in Kay’s pale face. her features were tight, no doubt controlling the pain. He’d upped the morphine as much as he dared and was frustrated he couldn’t do anything else for her. 

So he said the only thing he felt was appropriate at this moment.

“I’m sorry.”

At that, Kay opened her eyes fully, trying to focus on him. He could see her wince and then force her eyes open to stare at him. 

“Whatever do you have to be sorry for? I wasn’t careful enough, and you know that.” 

“I should have been there. We should never have split up, it was too dangerous.” 

Kay breathed out, reminding herself that this wasn’t Galahad patronizing her or taking too much upon his own shoulders, but her partner feeling guilty that he wasn’t by her side at the right moment. 

“Wasn’t your fault, Harry. It was a risky move and the com with Merlin cut off at the worst moment possible. I also should have checked that I wasn’t being followed, but I didn’t do it.”

“If it wasn’t my fault, it certainly wasn’t yours.”

“I was reckless -”

“No, you were determined. And brave.”

“And reckless.”

Kay felt more than she saw the slight smile form on his lips. 

“Alright, and maybe a little bit reckless. But that’s why you’re better at that sort of mission than me.”

“You over analyse everything.”

“I don’t” he said, on the defensive again, before understanding her meaning. “Maybe I do. I’ve just never seen it as a problem before.”

“It can be.”

Kay let the double-entendre hang in the air. She hoped he would understand what she was trying to tell him. She didn’t have the energy to try harder. 

Harry held his breath. He remembered what Merlin had told him after he’d brought Kay in: you’re mad about her, she’s mad about you, so you fight because none of you can see how much you mean to each other. 

Did he mean something to her? And what did she mean to him? 

She was willful, strong, reckless and beautiful. He was calculated, poised and calm. Or at least he liked to think he was. She probably didn’t perceive him as such. She’d called him cold on many occasions; told him he needed to understand where she came from and why she made her way through life as she did. She’d told him it was because she knew that each moment of freedom was precious. She was tired of being careful. Tired of tiptoeing around other people. 

He was the opposite. Tiptoeing was his speciality. He was careful around others, had trouble understanding them sometimes. At least outside of his work, where understanding could mean either life or death. But he felt that calm was necessary to him and caution something not to be taken lightly. Death left too many behind, and he couldn’t help but be afraid of how reckless she could be. 

During her moments of lucidity and reflection, Kay had come to grips with the differences existing between them. She knew it would take work, but what in this life didn’t? What was worth it always did. 

He meant something to her. He meant a great deal. But she didn’t know what she meant to him. 

“I know.” 

She looked at him, surprised. He leaned in closer. Hesitantly, he took one of her hands in his, holding it gently. 

“I don’t mean to sound snobbish. It’s just my way of protecting myself.” 

“Why?”

“This… this job, this life … you can lose so much if you care too much. I appear distant because I prefer to keep my feelings at bay.”

“That can’t be healthy.”

Harry chuckled, squeezing her hand.

“It’s not.” 

She focused on the feel of his fingers caressing her bruised knuckles. He palmed one bruise gently, as if to test if it hurt. When she didn’t wince, he resumed his caresses. 

“But it’s easier for you?”

Her question surprised him. He hadn’t expected her to understand so quickly. 

“Yes.”  

“But is that appearance of calm and detachment what’s easier, or is it simply not feeling? Or not allowing yourself to feel?”

He knew a lot depended on his answer. If he was honest with himself, he knew he wanted more. He wanted more out of life than his work. For nearly thirty years now he’d been so consumed by it; so afraid to care. He’d lost many friends. Lately, he’d lost Lancelot. That had been a blow. But he had never allowed himself to care more deeply for another agent. He’d never allowed himself to hope for love, not once. Until he met her. 

“I know I’m fooling myself, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

She laughed, a delightful sound after so much silence. 

“Yes, you are.” 

She was right and there was nothing he could say in his defense. 

“So where does that leave us, Harry?”

She brought his hands closer to her body, lacing her fingers with his own.

“I can’t promise to be less myself, just like you can’t simply let go of your fears. What do we do with that?”

He paused, contemplating. 

“We can try?”

She smiled in response. 

Stay tuned for part III!

Taglist: @justawriterinprogress; @tonystrksslut; @emilyyblackkk; the-sea-belt; @flybi91; @persephonehemingway​; 

[brightbeautifulthings]

MAYHEM BY ESTELLE LAURE BLOG TOUR & CHAPTER EXCERPT

The Lost Boys meets Wilder Girls in this supernatural feminist YA novel.

Available July 14th, 2020

It's 1987 and unfortunately it's not all Madonna and cherry lip balm. Mayhem Brayburn has always known there was something off about her and her mother, Roxy. Maybe it has to do with Roxy's constant physical pain, or maybe with Mayhem's own irresistible pull to water. Either way, she knows they aren't like everyone else.

But when May's stepfather finally goes too far, Roxy and Mayhem flee to Santa Maria, California, the coastal beach town that holds the answers to all of Mayhem's questions about who her mother is, her estranged family, and the mysteries of her own self. There she meets the kids who live with her aunt, and it opens the door to the magic that runs through the female lineage in her family, the very magic Mayhem is next in line to inherit and which will change her life for good.

But when she gets wrapped up in the search for the man who has been kidnapping girls from the beach, her life takes another dangerous turn and she is forced to face the price of vigilante justice and to ask herself whether revenge is worth the cost.

From the acclaimed author of This Raging Light and But Then I Came Back, Estelle Laure offers a riveting and complex story with magical elements about a family of women contending with what appears to be an irreversible destiny, taking control and saying when enough is enough.

About the Author:

Estelle Laure, the author of This Raging Light and But Then I Came Back believes in love, magic, and the power of facing hard truths. She has a BA in Theatre Arts and an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts in Writing for Children and Young Adults, and she lives in Taos, New Mexico, with her family. Her work is translated widely around the world. 

Twitter | Instagram | Get Your Copy

Read on for a special chapter excerpt of Mayhem!

three Santa Maria

“Trouble,” Roxy says. She arches a brow at the kids by the van through the bug-spattered windshield, the ghost of a half-smile rippling across her face.

“You would know,” I shoot.

“So would you,” she snaps.

Maybe we’re a little on edge. We’ve been in the car so long the pattern on the vinyl seats is tattooed on the back of my thighs.

The kids my mother is talking about, the ones sitting on the white picket fence, look like they slithered up the hill out of the ocean, covered in seaweed, like the carnival music we heard coming from the boardwalk as we were driving into town plays in the air around them at all times. Two crows are on the posts beside them like they’re standing guard, and they caw at each other loudly as we come to a stop. I love every- thing about this place immediately and I think, ridiculously, that I am no longer alone.

The older girl, white but tan, curvaceous, and lean, has her arms around the boy and is lovely with her smudged eye makeup and her ripped clothes. The younger one pops some- thing made of bright colors into her mouth and watches us come up the drive. She is in a military-style jacket with a ton of buttons, her frizzy blond hair reaching in all directions, freckles slapped across her cheeks. And the boy? Thin, brown, hungry-looking. Not hungry in his stomach. Hungry with his eyes. He has a green bandana tied across his forehead and holes in the knees of his jeans. There’s an A in a circle drawn in marker across the front of his T-shirt.

Anarchy.

“Look!” Roxy points to the gas gauge. It’s just above the E. “You owe me five bucks, Cookie. I told you to trust we would make it, and see what happened? You should listen to your mama every once in a while.”

“Yeah, well, can I borrow the five bucks to pay you for the bet? I’m fresh out of cash at the moment.”

“Very funny.”

Roxy cranes out the window and wipes the sweat off her upper lip, careful not to smudge her red lipstick. She’s been having real bad aches the last two days, even aside from her bruises, and her appetite’s been worse than ever. The only thing she ever wants is sugar. After having been in the car for so long, you’d think we’d be falling all over each other to get out, but we’re still sitting in the car. In here we’re still us.

She sighs for the thousandth time and clutches at her belly. “I don’t know about this, May.”

California can’t be that different from West Texas.

I watch TV. I know how to say gag me with a spoon and grody to the max.

I fling open the door.

Roxy gathers her cigarettes and lighter, and drops them in- side her purse with a snap.

“Goddammit, Elle,” she mutters to herself, eyes flickering toward the kids again. Roxy looks at me over the rims of her sunglasses before shoving them back on her nose. “Mayhem, I’m counting on you to keep your head together here. Those kids are not the usual—”

“I know! You told me they’re foster kids.” 

“No, not that,” she says, but doesn’t clarify. “Okay, I guess.”

“I mean it. No more of that wild-child business.”

“I will keep my head together!” I’m so tired of her saying this. I never had any friends, never a boyfriend—all I have is what Grandmother calls my nasty mouth and the hair Lyle always said was ugly and whorish. And once or twice I might’ve got drunk on the roof, but it’s not like I ever did anything. Besides, no kid my age has ever liked me even once. I’m not the wild child in the family.

“Well, all right then.” Roxy messes with her hair in the rear- view mirror, then sprays herself with a cloud of Chanel No. 5 and runs her fingers over her gold necklace. It’s of a bird, not unlike the ones making a fuss by the house. She’s had it as long as I can remember, and over time it’s been worn smooth by her worrying fingers. It’s like she uses it to calm herself when she’s upset about something, and she’s been upset the whole way here, practically. Usually, she’d be good and buzzed by this time of day, but since she’s had to drive some, she’s only nipped from the tiny bottle of wine in her purse a few times and only taken a couple pills since we left Taylor. The with- drawal has turned her into a bit of a she-demon.

I try to look through her eyes, to see what she sees. Roxy hasn’t been back here since I was three years old, and in that time, her mother has died, her father has died, and like she said when she got the card with the picture enclosed that her twin sister, Elle, sent last Christmas, Everybody got old. After that, she spent a lot of time staring in the mirror, pinching at her neck skin. When I was younger, she passed long nights telling me about Santa Maria and the Brayburn Farm, about how it was good and evil in equal measure, about how it had desires that had to be satisfied.

Brayburns, she would say. In my town, we were the legends. 

These were the mumbled stories of my childhood, and they made everything about this place loom large. Now that we’re here, I realize I expected the house to have a gaping maw filled with spitty, frothy teeth, as much as I figured there would be fairies flitting around with wands granting wishes. I don’t want to take her vision away from her, but this place looks pretty normal to me, if run-down compared to our new house in Taylor, where there’s no dust anywhere, ever, and Lyle prac- tically keeps the cans of soup in alphabetical order. Maybe what’s not so normal is that this place was built by Brayburns, and here Brayburns matter. I know because the whole road is named after us and because flowers and ribbons and baskets of fruit sat at the entrance, gifts from the people in town, Roxy said. They leave offerings. She said it like it’s normal to be treated like some kind of low-rent goddess.

Other than the van and the kids, there are trees here, rose- bushes, an old black Mercedes, and some bikes leaning against the porch that’s attached to the house. It’s splashed with fresh white paint that doesn’t quite cover up its wrinkles and scars. It’s three stories, so it cuts the sunset when I look up, and plants drape down to touch the dirt.

The front door swings open and a woman in bare feet races past the rosebushes toward us. It is those feet and the reckless way they pound against the earth that tells me this is my aunt Elle before her face does. My stomach gallops and there are bumps all over my arms, and I am more awake than I’ve been since.

I thought Roxy might do a lot of things when she saw her twin sister. Like she might get super quiet or chain-smoke, or maybe even get biting like she can when she’s feeling wrong about something. The last thing I would have ever imagined was them running toward each other and colliding in the driveway, Roxy wrapping her legs around Elle’s waist, and them twirling like that. 

This seems like something I shouldn’t be seeing, some- thing wounded and private that fills up my throat. I flip my- self around in my seat and start picking through the things we brought and chide myself yet again for the miserable packing job I did. Since I was basically out of my mind trying to get out of the house, I took a whole package of toothbrushes, an armful of books, my River Phoenix poster, plus I emptied out my underwear drawer, but totally forgot to pack any shoes, so all I have are some flip-flops I bought at the truck stop outside of Las Cruces after that man came to the window, slurring, You got nice legs. Tap, tap tap. You got such nice legs.

My flip-flops are covered in Cheeto dust from a bag that got upended. I slip them on anyway, watching Roxy take her sunglasses off and prop them on her head.

“Son of a bitch!” my aunt says, her voice tinny as she catches sight of Roxy’s eye. “Oh my God, that’s really bad, Rox. You made it sound like nothing. That’s not nothing.”

“Ellie,” Roxy says, trying to put laughter in her voice. “I’m here now. We’re here now.”

There’s a pause.

“You look the same,” Elle says. “Except the hair. You went full Marilyn Monroe.”

“What about you?” Roxy says, fussing at her platinum waves with her palm. “You go full granola warrior? When’s the last time you ate a burger?”

“You know I don’t do that. It’s no good for us. Definitely no good for the poor cows.”

“It’s fine for me.” Roxy lifts Elle’s arm and puckers her nose. “What’s going on with your armpits? May not eat meat but you got animals under there, looks like.”

“Shaving is subjugation.”

“Shaving is a mercy for all mankind.” 

They erupt into laughter and hug each other again.

“Well, where is she, my little baby niece?” Elle swings the car door open. “Oh, Mayhem.” She scoops me out with two strong arms. Right then I realize just how truly tired I am. She seems to know, squeezes extra hard for a second before letting me go. She smells like the sandalwood soap Roxy buys sometimes. “My baby girl,” Elle says, “you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to see you. How much I’ve missed you.”

Roxy circles her ear with a finger where Elle can’t see her.

Crazy, she mouths. I almost giggle.