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#ohhh this shit makes me so mad
yuridovewing · 3 months
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month
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heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )
but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,
( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )
and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;
The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx
( helpsksdj )
so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )
so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )
buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )
had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...
PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )
-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )
and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )
...hE GOT KYLE
FUCKING
BROFLOVSKI
and had to place him at /TEN/.
-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...
...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!
...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.
And....
*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*
Scene. <3
#nina speaks#sorry that ravenheadstannon makes me cry laughing everytime and i needed a distraction; he needs to go to jail#like he needs tall white boy behavioral therapy for his BAD BEHAVIOR he is down astronomically bad...i'm...SMHHHH#I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FUNNY PUTTING SCARY SWOLE AF TOPDOM STREET FIGHTER JERSEY KYLE ON BOTTOM IS#LIKE THAT IS SACRIFUKINGLIGIOUS THAT IS WRONG#all to put mgg on top SORRY SPENCER REID HE REALLY DID SPECIFY IT TOO EVEN WHEN JK ASKED IM CRYINGGG nOO#HE WAS LIKE ACTUALLY HIS NAME IS dR. SpENcER rEid!!!#like are u kidding...are you JOKING SUPER BEST FRIEND???#SAY!!! SIIIIKE!!!! and jk thought this was cute bc aw u know his name thats so dorky awh--oH IMMM SORRY!!!! *sarcasm vc*#i dIDNT KNOW HE WAS A DOOOOOOCTA MY BAAAD DOES DOOOOCTAH SPENCA REAAAAAD WANT SOME PASTA?!?!#SHOULD I LEEEEEEEAVE YOU TWOOOOOO TO GO ON YOUR DAAAATE?!?! YOU AN yAAAAAA bOOOOYFRIEND?!?!?#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM SOOOOORRY FOR THIRDWHEELiN! ITS NAUGHT LIKE THIS IS MY HOUSE OR MY SB BOYFRIEND OR ANYtHIN!! >>>:/#help oh my god ATE THE FIRST BITE OF PASTA IN FRONT OF HIM EVERYONE WAS LIKE OH MY GOD MY PARENTS#ARE BREAKING UP NOOO RAVESEY NATION WE ARE SO DOWN OH MY GOD THE OTHER HALF WAS SHIPPING#REIDVEN#ravenstan tried to explain....He COULD NOT dkhflshfl so bad so funny RIP he was like wow i came home from a long day#of my internship i made you diNNAh and you put me aT tEN???!! ohhh it was so over oh my god rs was like mI AMOR BESITO BESITO BESITOoOOoOo#YOU ARE SO HANDSOME I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND SMART AND FUNNY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS ( has a shrine )#WOWZA THATS SO CRAZY BABY PLEASE DONT BE MAD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT TE AMOOO PLEASE HAVE I TOLD U HOW HANDSOME U ARE ;-;;;;#insane...he still got his pasta too...jail for life...he did redo the filter and did it until he got jk first put him at one and closed it#i cannot believe it also i love cute domestic apartment husband jk he is the best he really is ravenstan Count Your Days#people joking about them breaking up and foreshadowing it...BRUTAAAAAAL! please note mgg sided w rs in the divorce#and made a video saying i love u to him <3 as a joke <3 bUT I KNOOOOOOW JK WAS PUNCHIN DRYWALL AND SCREAMIN#I KNOW THAT PISSED HIM AWHFF SOOOOO BAD OH MY GOD HE MADE SEVERAL MGG HATE ACCOUNTS#AND TURNED HIS STOMACH WATCHING CM EVEN THO HE HATES THAT SHIT JUST TO COMMENT#ON TIMES SPENCER REID WAS FACTUALLY INACCURATE#my chest hurts but i cant tell if its bc of the bacteria or bc i'm laughing too hard so i won help i love my criminal mind <3
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nomairuins · 23 days
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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munamania · 2 years
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i wish i could kill people that are against ‘gentle parenting’ it’s just parenting. why are you so obsessed with control and disciplining a hypothetical or god forbid real child. if you want to teach them a lesson fucking talk to them? and go to therapy
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marsbotz · 3 months
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BTW ive been watching a bunch of life on mars (UK VERSION 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧‼️‼️) and its sooo good. crazy funny and awesome too
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omnipotent-omnicube · 4 months
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i'm bored so i'm gonna watch the new great pretender series/movie/whatever that apparently dropped earlier this year
#i don't think you guys understand i was obsessed with this show and the ending made me so mad i couldn't think of anything else for weeks#it was also the first thing i legitimately read fanfiction for. because the ending SUCKED#basically edamura (protag) keeps getting put into grand con artist situations despite literally just trying to make a stable living#and for the fourth case he starts off believing he's finally found a job and a stable living#and it turns out that the place he's working for is actually a front for the yakuza#and he was manipulated into taking the job by laurent and his con artist group#which okay yeah but whatever but edamura tried and failed to put an end to the yakuza's shenanigans which was uhh. child trafficking#and his plan FAILED and laurent faked his death and there was shit with edamura's dad too who ALSO faked his death after edamura shot him#meanwhile edamura is absolutely shaken and traumatized by everything that's happening#and the head of the yakuza happens to take a liking to him and starts to partake in a motherly role to edamura and ALSO manipulating him#and stuff happens but basically at the end laurent pops up and is like surprise! we're alive! and you not knowing was all part of the plan!#idk if that happened to me i'd be fuckin pissed. i wouldn't talk to anyone else ever again#but the case ends just like 'ohhh yay!!! we defeated the evil yakuza boss!!! let's all be friends again'#also there was a whole thing where villains from previous cases made a comeback in the major defeat against the yakuza boss#which i guess i didn't really care about the case 2 guy he was just manipulating bets and stuff in plane racing#but wasn't the first guy literally a rapist???#i don't remember anything about the third guy except him being racist and classist
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sweet1delusi0ns · 3 months
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Class 1A boys getting a surprise kiss──☆*:・゚
MHA/fem!reader
Characters: Izuku, katsuki, Shoto, Tenya, Eijirou, Denki, Sero, Tokoyami, Aoyama, Ojiro, Sato, Shoji, Koji!
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IZUKU~
Surprising him scares him so much (poor guy) he either flinches back or starts instantly blushing. You come up behind him as quiet as can be and give him a little kiss on the cheek he will flip!
“aaAHHHHH- oh… h-hey y/n…your scared me…” “aw sorry I just wanted to give you a kiss~” “dont sneak up on me y/n! Your gunna get thrown threw a wall-” “Aw I just wanted to show you lovee!” “Warn me next time!” The whole time he was reddd~
KATSUKI~
Bro thinks he’s so cool trying to tease you with sneak kissed but the second you do it back to him it’s suddenly ‘not funny anymore’. So whenever you surprise kiss him he pushes you off and huffs like a baby
“Surprise~” “UGH WHAT ARE Y-YOU DOING!!” “Aw why so mad?” “ITS NOT FUNNY STOP IT!” He covered his face with one hand because he knows he’s turning red “aw my suki likes kissed! Mwa mwa mwaaa” “STOP!!”
SHOTO~
He doesn’t understand that he deserves kisses, especially when he didn’t do anything to ‘deserve’ the kiss. So when you surprise kiss him he is confused as he Is flustered
“W…what was that for?” “I can’t give you a kiss?” “Uhm I guess you can but I didn’t do anything-” “you don’t need too! I just wanted a kiss” “really? Well thank you…may I have another? For free?” “heh yes for free~"
TENYA~
He wants to be “cool” so bad but he can’t with you~ so whenever you give him a sneaky kiss he’s just like “stopppp :>” and either runs away or covers his face with both hands (yk how he does)
“What was that…” “uhm a kiss?” “Oh!…whatever….” “…” “heheheheehehehehe” “uh?” He just covers his face and wiggles like a weirdo- “hehe she kissed mee”
EIJIROU~
Wants to act cool and kinda does? Whenever you sneak kiss him he does it back to make it seem like not a big deal but flaunts it to his friends later~
“Aw thanks y/n! Mwa” “your so cute~!” You smother his face in kisses which he did not mind!! “T-thank you…a-again-“ “anything for youuu” 10 minutes later: “YOU GUYS SHE KISSED LIKE EVERY INCH OF MY FACE?!”
DENKI~
Yk that stupid Face he does when he short circuits, yeah he makes that face intentionally when you scare him with a kiss on the cheek. He jumps, maybe yelps a little then he realizes it’s you and makes that stupid face-
“AUH!” “It’s me…?” “Oh…. (-ヮ-)” “don’t ever make that face at me again what-” “sorry! You just caught me off gaurd!” “You just want another kiss huh?” “Yes.” “Fine but that face is not cute”
SERO~
The only time it ever really gets to him is if it’s in public!! So when you sneak up on him and give him a kiss when he’s with his friends he will get so flustered and pushes you away while looking at the ground~
“Mwaa hey babe” “Y/N?!” “What?” He pushes you out of ear shot from his friends “d-dont do that infront of my friends! It’s embarrassing!” “Is being kissed embarrassing or is you being red embarrassing?” “Shut up.” He walks back to his friends acting like you didn’t exist . Later when you give him the silent treatment for ignoring you he won’t leave you alone till he gets another kiss
TOKOYAMI~
Most of the time dark shadow snitches on you before you even get to him, but the few times you sneak past him is so cute! When you startle him with a cheek kiss he jump and his feathers puff out in fear. Then acts like he wasn’t scared at all
“No need to puff up it was just a kiss?” “Uh? Puff up I don’t know what you mean.” “Your feathers are puffed out? Ohhh you got scared!!” “Not possible!” “Deny it all you want!…you are really fluffy though” “stop!” He turns his back to you so he can be flustered in peace
AOYAMA~
Stuck up little shit. But you know it’s all in good fun, he does love you but sometimes you think he loves himself a little more which he doesn’t (off character ik, it’s a HC ok!) so mostly when you surprise kiss him he just makes it abt him-
“Aw y/n~ id Kiss me every second of the day too!” “Uh-” “I am so awfully dazzling I couldn’t resist either~” “ok no more kisses for you.” “WAIT WHAT NO?”
OJIRO~
Smart boy so he has made it a habit of keeping his tail circled around him so he can feel your footsteps through the floor, or trip you (LOL) so the only way you can get him is when he is sitting. He thinks he’s safe when he’s sitting but he isn’t
You creep up behind him and grab his shoulder, you pull your head around his and give him a very aggressive kiss! “GOTCHAA” “y/n that’s not fair I wasn’t ready for that!” “It is so fair, I get to kiss you, and you get a kiss from me! Fair!” “Ugh! Next time warn me! So I can trip you” “what?”
SATO~
Big boy! He isn’t scared of surprise kisses at all, shockingly he is one of the few who don’t even flinch at all. So you just jump on his back randomly and smother his cheeks with kisses!
“Sneak attack! Mwa mwaaa MWAAA” “y/n~ stop!” “Why???” “Cuz i want a real one!” He points to his lips and you gave him a soft smooch there too! He also likes it when you squish is face when kissing himm
SHOJI~
Another one who doesn’t get scared, just really shy. You have seen him without a mask but he is still a little insecure about it (writing abt that later😍). So when you pull his mask down and kiss his lips he hides away sometimes~
“Shoji?” “Yes love?” You pull his mask down to give him a soft kiss on his lip before pulling it back up to not make him uncomfortable. He broke “that’s all~” “one moment…” he just crouches to the ground to hide for a second to think of a plan. When he’s done hiding he comes back up and kisses you back with rosy cheeks!
KOJI~
Just don’t, he will die, From being scared and or flustered. You have to warn him no matter what! So it normally goes like this
“Hey koji” “um…yes?” He only talks in private or if it’s important! “Im warning you, I’m gunna kiss you” “…hu-” smooch “there!…you gunna be ok?” He collapses to the ground hiding in his knees which are against his chest “mhm…” “your so cute~” “*squealing noise*”
Not proooooof readdddd cuz I’m lazyyyy😍
Literally gunna write class 1B next they need more love cuz they such cutiesss
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ashfdhfgdsfk · 2 years
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what is the most insane looking emoji i need it
#so i missed the midnight deadline for an assignment but i still wanted to turn it in#so i just kept working on it yknow and well fuck me slash pos because!!!!!!#its 8am and i have been going MAD CRAZY researching the absolute SHIT out of DNA and glucocorticoids and transcription factors and#epigenetics in general and just holy Fuck Balls do i love adhd hyperfocus.#and the best part is is that my teacher wont even Care she only wanted me to vaguely explain it because it wasnt at All the focus#i had literally no reason to learn a subject i knew absolutely nothing about in a single night#but i DID and i DID LEARN like fuck dude !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love learning sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im so fucking wired right now i feel like i could finish my entire college career in this hour if i had the chance#the better choice would probably be to sleep instead but well clearly i dont make sound decisions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i have been doing homework for 20 hours. TWNETY HOURS#NONSTOP#!!!!!AND I WANNA DO MOREEEE#ohhh frothing at the mouth i love feeling accomplished and epic and big brained i love feeling insane and hyperactive and jittery#i Detested the idea of learning about genetics and dna bc it sounded so boring andf complex but i was SOOO DETERMINED to understand it#and now i KNOWWWWW#I UNDERSTAND IT#oh im chewing on all of your bones today#OH ALSOOO#my teacher messaged me at 7am like oh dw you can have an extension just make sure to turn it in before midnight!#and i submitted it at 8am like EHGEHE NO PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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natailiatulls07 · 8 months
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It's giving old money
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Oscar Piastri x British!Countess!reader
Summary - Oscar and his self conscious girlfriend, who is also a British countess, slowly soft launch their very private relationship however another certain Brit speeds up that process
Warning - swearing, Y/n is self conscious??
Faceclaim - Lila Moss
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yourusername
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Nights in Monte Carlo x
Liked by friendsusername and 124,674 others
Limited comments
friendsusername Hun we need to do this more often!
= yourusername Oh of course babe
username So jealous of her lifestyleee
username Imagine being her I wishhh
ilovey/nwithmyhearttt
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Y/n is at Wimbledon with her friend! I love the blue dress and the natural look <3
Liked by username and 58,739 others
username She's too gorgeousss omfggg
username Can we take a moment for the dress!
username Where is that dress frommm?? It's a fucking need!
= username I think it's Ralph Lauren
= username Thank yewww
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oscarpiastri
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A couple of days in London between gps
Liked by aussiegrit and 173,593 others
username Is this post sponsored by Ralph Lauren???
username Wait I recognize that dog, whats going on?!
username Oscar Pastry who is that?
landonorris Be safe bro emoji
= oscarpiastri Thanks mate lol
username It's giving old money
= username it's giving richhh
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yourusername posted a story
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username Y/n's new story of Archie, my heartttt
username Ikrr I want to kidnap it LMAO
username Wait Archie looks a lot like the dog in Oscar Piastri's recent instagram post, am I tripping??
username Gurl calm down, I doubt it. They are worlds away from eachother lol
username Yeah I agree, Y/n is too stuck up to make friends with anyone outside her countess/count social circle
yourusername
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Let's go racing x
Liked by mclaren and 166,289 others
Limited comments
username This is new...
username My multiverse of madness!
mclaren Your welcome anytime <3
= yourusername I had the best time, thank you
username Okayyy so anyone wanna say something to me?? :|
username Look okay I'm sorry, maybe you did have an inkling
username Now that I look at it, the dog does very similarrr
username IKRR I think her and Oscar would be cute together lol
username They'd be the perfect old money couple nglll
oscarpiastri posted a story
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yourusername
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Thank you Melbourne, you're the best x
Liked by oscarpiastri and 178,484 others
Limited comments
username Melbourne? thats random...
username Is this a soft launch????
username Oscar Piastri in the likes, Y/n in Melbourne...where Oscar also is, is Y/n and Oscar soft launching? :3
username Ummm Y/n??
oscarpiastri
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Days down in the water with my loved ones are my favourite
Liked by yourusername and 183,864 others
username Blonde hair + Melbourne + beach + Recent events + Y/n's like = Soft Lauch with Y/n L/n
= username Case closed! It has to be herrr
username I love summer break Oscar sm
logansargeant Always remember protectionnn
= oscarpiastri :|
username I need any more pleaseeee
username I mean they are making it very obviousss
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landonorris posted a story
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Text (White: Oscar Orange: Lando)
Dude what the fuck
What?!
What you've done?! You've just fucking outed mine and Y/n's relationship!!
Ohhh shit sorry man I didn't think you could see her face in the story I'll delete it now
No don't worry, we're trending on twitter anyways
Yeah sorry Osc, how's Y/n doing?
She's very anxious rn, you know how she is with the publics opinion of her
Oh no maybe distance her from social media
Yeah, I've taken her phone off of her
Ofc sorry again man
Nah dw it was bond to happen
oscarpiastri
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Yeah so me and this gorgeous women are dating. We want to keep it private and we hope you will respect our wishes <3
Tagged: yourusername
Liked by landonorris and 203,275 others
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queenendless · 1 month
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🍑 TIME
A/n: The twerk GIFS got to me! All credit for the GIFS involved goes to @screampied for the Gojo and Sukuna ones, @heian-era-housewife for the Shiu Kong one, @mahgyu for the Geto one, and @blkkizzat for the Toji one. THNX U ALL for the glory that is JJK TWERKING~!
🔞 MDNI CONTENT. JJK men twerking for their lives, sub!JJK men x dom!GN!reader, ass cheeks clapping, ass slapping, ass marking, ass eating, ass abuse, cum time, impromptu ass piece. Also first time writing Sukuna and Shiu so go easy on me.
©️ PLEASE DONT PLAGIRIZE, COPY, TRANSLATE, EDIT, REPOST, AND ETC TO MY FAN WORK. Rather like comment reblog share and follow cause I personally want to reach close to 1k follows on this blog by the end of the year pls n thnx.
SYPNOSIS: OH, TWERKING IN YOUR FACE, BIG ASS MISTAKE~
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GOJO with his cheeky ass grin growing every passing moment you demanded he strip those skinny pants down. Boxers included. Shameless heathen. Hanging over the bed's edge as you straddle his skinny thighs. You drum those bare melons like your own personal bongos. Granted, your cheeky bastard asked for it. And those loud passionate mewls of his earned him your red hand prints on his rippling hills. Literally chewing on them peaches came right after, your nose poking out of his ass crack while your mouth sucked his asshole, having him come one too many times against the strewn sheets to both your likings. Stroking his veiny coated dong between his lower valleys made it that much more tasty to suck him off, with his cock cumming again in your very grasp.
"Ohhh, honey loves my buns~! Yes you do – AAAAAH~!"
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GETO bashfully blushes, his veiny knuckles pressed hard to his mouth to muffle his grunts and moans of painful pleasure as you spanked, clawed and teethed on those supple succulent peaches quite insistently. This cult head laid on his side along the mat covered platform, clawed the sheets with his free hand as his legs spasmed with those poofy ass pants hung off his calves like pooled up velvet. The ministrations your tongue gives drives him mad. Slobbering and slithering into his hole quite deeply with skillful strokes before suckling downwards. Like his pecs, his peaches smothered your face cheeks. Teasingly nipping at his leaky balls had his dong spasm and spurt in your face. You licking his cum off your face right into his had him squirt longer and harder.
"D – Darling~! Don't ever st — stop – AAH~!"
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TOJI the physically gifted super human slash sorcerer killer that he lazily splays along the couch on his ripped tum tum, his ass practically jutting out right in your burning face, browsing his phone casually. Only to literally crush it in two with his giant beefy hand. Straddling his hips, you press his form into the cushions, as you knead and massage his chiseled cheeks, digging your nails in, before sucking aggressively to the point where your lip imprints are scattered along his now reddening bruised skin. His hips buckle sporadically right into yours but with such steel restraint not to literally shoot you up into the ceiling. The couch cushions however were torn to shreds as his stream of feral profanity fills the air as does his guttural carnal shouts of fervor.
"FUCK baby~! Starving for me already huh — NGH SHIT~!"
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SUKUNA the literal King of Curses would be as amused as he would be resting his head atop two folded arms along his Malevolent Shrine, letting you lay atop him while you smack his cheeks together just to hear his skin clapping. On top of biting, tugging on his skin between your teeth, and nuzzling them fine giant melons had you on Cloud 9. His other two arms would possessively gripped on your hair to tug on now and then as well as fondle and smack your own bare tussy, his mouths popping out of his palms to layer bloody bite marks on you to get even. Raunchily making out with his a-hole had his giant cheeks suffocate your face, nearly passing out in the process from the light headed state you were left in his clapping cheeks freed you just to smack his double dripping dongs in your face to shower you in cum to lick off yourself. Guess he did get excited.
"Oh human~ To think you would react to that so sinfully~ Interesting~"
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SHIU the mediator of dealings between the shady and the shadiest should have known you'd be down for a show and what it would entail at the end. The burnt out cig between his lips would fall out. Strewn across his marble work desk, you lounged in his rolling desk chair as you massaged and groped his peaches to loosen up his fatigued state. Leaving deep imprints engrained into mounds blushing in thanks. Too much workload means easily becoming mush in your titilating touch. Rutting within his fist now coated in creamy thickness as it dripped down his work pants pooled around his ankles. Wiping up some cum from his fist to your fingers, wiping it along his crack, to suck it up sloppily, including right up his hole. That got him moaning out passionately.
"Mmm~! Love, please don't let up now~! So GOOD~!"
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killakalx · 5 months
Note
kal i’m here for the second time today reporting from the darkest, nastiest part of my brain to share bsf!dick grayson thoughts 🎙️ you’re laying down with your best friend, leg thrown over his hips, js sitting in comfortable silence on your phones. occasionally he’s rubbing your back, every once in a while you share what you’re looking at with quiet giggles. you readjust, and suddenly the seam of your shorts is pushing up against you just right. immediately you feel bad — you can’t use your best friend to get off, that’s just wrong. a little empty headed and itching to chase the feeling, the horny, irrational part of your brain wins out and you adjust again, subtly. you keep making small, seemingly unnoticeable movements ‘til dick asks, “are you not comfortable?” you shake your head, keep still but he can feel the tension in your shoulders, hiding a smirk behind his phone. he knows exactly what you’re doing, and fucking loves it. he lets you think he hasn’t noticed, continue with those little twitches of your hips that make your eyebrows furrow. “you gettin’ off on me?” he’d ask so casually, and it would take herculean effort on his part to keep from laughing at the way your eyes widen and you freeze up. before you can fumble your way around some inadequate apology, his hand is slipping just barely under the waistband of your shorts, resting on your lower back and giving you a little nudge. “‘s okay, i’m not mad, keep going.” he’s grinning, phone abandoned with a laser focus on the way you hesitantly start grinding against him, growing a little more confident after his reassurance. he’d be happy to help, but he’s relishing in being used to get you off in such a juvenile way. i’m sick in the head, i know, but i can’t stop thinking abt him.
— 😵‍💫
YESSS BSF!DICK GRAYSON IS MY SHIT.
bc i’m a whore for thigh riding just think about you laying on your tummy and he’s sitting up a little further against the pillows. one leg over his and at first you start off a little far away from him. after so many silly posts you just had to show him though, you’ve inched closer. he sees the little movement in your hips and he’s engraved that night in his brain so deep that he knows you only move like that when you’re tryna get off.
“what would you do without me, huh?” he’s teasing you and urging you closer, and you’ll be damned if you don’t take the chance. greedy hands are pinching your hips and ass while he makes you keep going, then he’s tensing his thigh just to fuck with you. “y’want me to keep doing that, pretty thing?” ugh you should be ashamed of how fast you start nodding at him.
“mhm,“ you’re assuring him and you get cut off when he actually does it. buckling over and closer to his face, arms around his neck and now he’s just being mean when he leans his head away to stop you from kissing him. “friends don’t kiss on each other,” all while he’s guiding you back and forth and bouncing his leg. bastard.
in his defense all his attention is on the wet patch on his sweats, soaking through your shorts just from this. nonnie you are so right when you say he’s into it, the fact that you got desperate enough to even try getting away with grinding on your bsf. dick grayson as your bsf has made you cum without his cock plenty of times, just bc his ego blows up.
“ohhh, you gonna cum?” YES. yes yes yes. now he’s letting you get real close to his lips, forehead against yours as a gentle hand keeps your eyes focused on his. it’s somehow something much more intimate than kissing, still making you whine when you clench around nothing and ruin his thigh. and yeah there’s no second thoughts, he’s already tryna make you cum again after that shy little giggle once you remember why this happened in the first place. nonnie, if you’re sick then i’ve got a chronic disease.
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grimm-writings · 6 months
Note
Hiiii, I would like some Dungeon Meshi headcanons please! Reader is the oldest human in the main group and they're really motherly towards them. Like they're always fretting over their well beings and acting like a doting parent. And if you want, could you also add that Chilchuck's kinda into that so he falls for them?
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That's all thank you!
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…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader, platonic touden party & reader
…tags! fluff, some crack, headcanon format, mild manga spoilers, reader is referred to as ‘mom’ once
…wc! 847
…notes! the way i nearly screeched in delight when i got this ask. chilfuckers i’m one of you let me in. you used they/them for the reader so i’m gonna assume this is a maternal gn reader! i hope it is for your liking ty for being my first request 🥺
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Having a more wise, of age individual in the party is always a plus when you need some advice.
And when most people in the party are absolute lunatics.
You have your hands full trying to stop Laios acting recklessly in action, or doting on Marcille when her emotions get the best of her.  Goodness, even Senshi has your hair going grey from how he gets sometimes!
Laios just sort of… lets your doting happen.
He can get slightly grumbly if you get too mad at him.  Still, it’s not the worst thing a parental figure could do.  Go easy on him!
Marcille takes psychic damage upon learning your age.  She’s staring at you, at the age in your face, and taking the years into account.
It’s simply not computing.  You… You should be, like, a pre-teen or something!  Human ageing baffles her once again.
Still… she is incredibly receptive to you doting on her.  She’s more of a carer on instinct but she finds herself falling into you whenever her spoons are low.
Senshi just sort of hits you with the “why tho” when you try fretting.  It’s actually slightly frustrating.  Still, you can recognise his wisdom and take a step back.  He can take care of himself… most of the time.
Izutsumi… oh the dear girl.
You must have recognised the signs immediately.  Her lack of table manners, her reclusive nature… she’s so young.
The girlcat was a bit prickly to any doting at first.  You would probably remind her a bit too much of Maizuru for her liking.
With time, perhaps sometime after he run-in with her succubus, Izutsumi would be a bit more welcoming of how you treat her.  It’s… It makes her feel nice, or whatever.
She accidentally calls you Mom once.  She was mortified as Marcille squeals in delight and Laios laughs to himself.  You couldn’t even ask if she thinks of you as a mother figure before she’s already stomping away to hide in a corner somewhere.
Then there’s Chilchuck.  Oh, what to say about him.
You probably thought he was a young human at first too.  He’s taller than other half-foots after all.  Still, as soon as you even try to act maternal around him, he yells at you and tells you he isn’t a kid.
Keep your distance for a bit, and he’ll warm up to you again.
Watching you do your thing with the other party members will have him commenting that he has no idea how you can just keep up with everyone like this, and he’s the one with three kids here.
You just smile gently and reply that it helps you keep stability knowing everyone in the party is doing alright.  At that, Chilchuck will give you a glance, and internalise your words.
Upon Izutsumi’s arrival into the party, Chilchuck’s perspective on you begins to alter slightly.
Initially, he respected you a fair bit.  You were more like the two older co-workers constantly giving each other looks at the younger ones’ antics.
But he sees you with this child he also has to admit he’s grown attached to.  You really were a natural maternal figure to Izutsumi.  He watches you tend to her sometimes, a smile slowly curling on his lips.
Then he catches himself, and his blood runs cold.
…Ohhh, shit. 
Chilchuck is level headed most of the time, but when he’s panicking he can’t keep his cool to save his life.
Around you, he becomes more… frantic, in a way.  Lecturing others to give you a break, even if he can just have a small talk with you.  If asked what’s up he’d raise his voice defensively and say it doesn’t matter.
One time, Izutsumi decided she can’t choose between her two favourite human heaters, and practically forced you and Chilchuck to sleep on either side of her.  Even with the girl slotted in between you two, Chilchuck was internally losing his mind at the closeness.
He even lets you dote on him a bit more again.  Not too much, though.  He’ll accept the occasional checking in and headpat but that’s it!
You can very easily pick up on his feelings for you.  It’s not hard to notice the shift in his attitude.
Well… It’s not like you can complain.  You may offer to help him out with his future shop once you’re out of here, giving him a slight wink.
Cherish how red his face gets.  He won’t let anyone else embarrass him so easily.  Maybe pinch his cheeks if you’re feeling brave, but he may swat you away depending on his mood.
At the end of the day, he’ll give you a small smile, and wonder aloud where the Hell all the party would be if it weren’t for you.
(Bonus!  I think Falin would also super appreciate your presence.  She’s the kind to simply take her own parents’ treatment of her and shrug it off in a ‘it is what it is’ sort of way.  Your doting attitude would leave her slightly discombobulated, but she’s very welcome to it.)
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bubblergoespop · 8 months
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My Top Milo Quotes
i wanna devour this man so bad. the original version of this is at least triple the length omfg. @mrsmiagreer it’s finally here <3
“From one pretty face to another.”
“Bedroom? Oh. Ohhh. [gremlin giggling]”
“Cute?! You’re gonna come here, into my home, uninvited, and tell me I look cute when I’m mad? First of all sweetheart, you’re damn right I’m cute—“
“Jesus Christ who taught you how to do healing magic, a construction worker with a jackhammer?!”
“Me and Ash give each other shit all the time. He calls me a runt, I call him a bitch bottom, we laugh, we move on.”
“Cuddled up with you, in front of a fire? That’s a one-way ticket to sleepytown, USA, population: this guy.”
“I do not spoil him! Well whaddya want me to do? He’s my lil guy.”
“I swear to god, if I’m lyin I’m dyin, he looks him dead in the eye and says “if concerns about the future of your relationship with Amanda are weighing on you too heavily, I’m sure I can get by with just Milo and Asher here.”
“Are you Lasky?”
“Touch me and your life will be measured in milliseconds. I can see myself out.”
“It’s back. I’m back.”
“And next thing you know, boom, you’re sitting here, a broken man, barefoot with no fucking dress socks.”
“‘So Mr. Greer, what was it that ultimately pushed you over the edge?’ Oh, I don’t know officer, might have something to do with the walking terror I call a mate.”
“So what if I am sappy? I’m running on sleepy middle of the night brain, you get what you get. Shhh. Hush. Don’t you be mean to me. I’m trying to help.”
“He’s a good little dude. Isn’t that right, bub?
“I got to hold my favorite person in the whole world. And only occasionally had to threaten to choke them out.”
“Mmm. You’re cute. Yeah, I called you cute. What are you gonna do about it? Get grumpy? Just makes you look cuter.”
“Do not call them my ‘titties’ you asshole!”
“Personally, I think I’m better at getting clothes off a ya than putting em on, but I’m ever at your service, baby.”
“No no no, don’t do that button. Yeah. Yeah, leave that one undone.”
“There’s my sweetheart.”
“Yeah. Well, it beats for you, sweetheart. A little more sappy shit for the road.”
“There ya go, that looks perfect! Yeah, what you’re wearing right now! You look fucking incredible in it. Yeah, I know you haven’t even started changing into the next look, what’s your point?”
“When I say you’re my mate, I mean it with every inch of me. When I say it, my core lights up like a firework. And when I feel your core answer it, and mirror it back, it feels like the fourth of fucking July in my chest.”
“I mean, obviously we’re gonna look fucking great no matter what, it is us after all”
“Hey, I know Ash is your mate, but would you mind if I use that choke collar you have for him real quick?”
“The power couple”
“And the energizer bunny takes a tumble.”
“And you won’t believe this next part but, uh, as a wolf, I don’t have hands.”
“You don’t have to ask, baby, I trust you. I know you’ll be gentle.”
“You feel like forever in my arms.”
“Oh my god, do they think my house smells weird?”
“I don’t want this for you, baby.”
“These muscles got more knots in em than you had wrapped around you the other night. And that’s saying something.”
“You run through my blood like oxygen, sweetheart.”
“Whose mouth is this?”
“And do not wear that belt, how old is that thing? It looks awful!”
“You’re not alone. I’m here. The pack’s here.”
“You want to see a hissy fit, bootlicker?”
“Cmon, head up. Up for me. There you go. I wanna see this pretty face.”
“Kissing my palm like that… you’re too fucking cute.”
“I just wanna feel you.”
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graceslcver · 5 months
Text
all da ladies love leo valdez ! leo x daughter of poseidon!reader
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。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ in which, leo has a crush on yet another girl that’s beyond his league, percy’s sister … and his friends flame him for not being able to confess his feelings!
— this is set in like… university ?? obviously jason doesn’t die…hope u enjoy my first ever fic on here!! might be ooc, soz🫐 also jeyna is a thing…. sorry not sorry!! 🤓😂 (it’s actually not even relevant to this story, but i thought i’d let u know…)
IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 4th, 2024
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beauty queen
do yall ever wonder how it’s impossible to not pull hoes
like it sounds like a real SKILL issue
superman
who are you talking about, pipes?
beauty queen
who do u think I’m talking about???
the only mfo who doesn’t have a gf???
do NOT play dumb jason grace
latino elf
oh wow
talking shit in the gc is crazzyyy
superman
i wasn’t!
she was.
beauty queen
do not make me pull up our private messages
latino elf
i see how it is…..
😔 it’s always the bitches u think u can trust…
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superman
ok
beauty queen
why is he the driest man alive
this why we didn’t last ong😭
latino elf
or maybe because ur lebanese ???
superman
she’s cherokee huh
wait is that supposed to say lesbian?
latino elf
isn’t that what it says…
beauty queen
💀💀
ok… anyway can we talk about the fact that leo has
been madly in love with y/n since like… forever???
latino elf
no thanks
didn’t ask
not true
lying on my name
superman
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yeah yeah whatever helps you sleep at night
beauty queen
he’s down bad shhh
latino elf
OHHH GODDD 😭😭😔😔😔
ok so what if i like her shes so fine
and so nice and sooo mermaid 🧜‍♀️
beauty queen
she is very fine and very nice
and yes she’s very mermaid
superman
we all know he isn’t going to say
anything to her, though, right??
latino elf
hahaha 😂 wdym 😂
i’d tell her if percy weren’t her brother
superman
that didn’t stop you from trying to
flirt with MY sister though???????
latino elf
yeah that’s different tho
she COULDNT go out with me
beauty queen
not like she wanted to anyway
latino elf
gtfo
anyway i don’t plan on telling her that
i have any slight interest in her! 😎
superman
you should though
bet she likes you too
beauty queen
don’t feed into his delusions
superman
gosh pipes, pipe it down a notch
latino elf
fr listen to my bro ‼️
how would i even tell her dawggg
WHAT IF she rejects me 🤨 BOOM FRIENDSHIP GONE
superman
yeah i guess so
but yolo ???
latino elf
yolo my ass bro😒
superman
ok sorry for trying to help
beauty queen
this why she dont want u
latino elf
yeah nd thats why yo relationship was a LIE 🤣
superman
😐
beauty queen
🖕🏼
latino elf
lol ur mad
ok bye u guys are a snooze fest 😴
beauty queen
go talk to ur gf
latino elf
i will, beauty queen 🫡
IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 4th, 2024
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leo 🛠️
hey hey mermaid
y/n 🦈
hi leo !
whats up :)
leo 🛠️
the sky duh
nothing much tho, just chilling in my dorm
u should totally pull up
y/n 🦈
we’ll see 🧐
i’m in the library rn
leo 🛠️
nerd alert ‼️
y/n 🦈
ok but when u fail our exams dont come crying
leo 🛠️
if it were math/science i would be resting peacefully
but no fr i did study, trust 🙏🏼
y/n 🦈
not that u needed it though
you’re smart enough
leo 🛠️
wowie thanks mermaid
da ladies wish they had my smarts
y/n 🦈
🤨🤨
leo 🛠️
sorry that came out SO wrong 😭
y/n 🦈
ok ok well pull up to the library
perhaps i need ur smarts
leo 🛠️
si señora
will be there in a few 😎
shark_girl • 2h
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send message ♡ ➣
pipermstealer replied to your story
omg he wants uuu 😳😳🤣😂
shark_girl
why are u insane
😅😅😅
pipermstealer
i am not insane he wants u
what boy willingly wants to study w a girl
shark_girl
one that’s my friend???
pipermstealer
friend my ass bro
he wanna kiss u so bad…
matching usernames??? THE MAAAN WANTS UU 😭
shark_girl
be fr we’ve had them since we were
like fifteen 🙄🙄
pipermstealer
bro get out I’m actually DONE
u have to wake up queen 😭🙏🏼
IMESSAGE, PIPER & JASON July 5th, 2024
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pipes 🌸
i am so SO DONE with yn
jason ⚡️
why
pipes 🌸
bc she’s convinced that leo don’t want her
jason ⚡️
i think its very obvious
do you think yn wants leo thats the real question
pipes 🌸
ABSOLUTELY ?????
she has extreme heart eyes for him
but she’s better at hiding it
jason ⚡️
wait are you being serious
NO WAY
NO WAY??
a girl out of his league actually wants him 🤨
piper 🌸
wait I thought u knew???
jason ⚡️
uhm no
she must be good at hiding it
piper 🌸
or boys are just dense
jason ⚡️
ok well…….
we have to get them together
cause I’m so tired of hearing leo ramble abt her
piper 🌸
ok well i’m tired of yn too
how do we get them together
jason ⚡️
uh I don’t know?????
now why would you think I know
aren’t YOU the daughter of aphrodite
maybe YOU should know 😒
pipes 🌸
someone’s mad
but i don’t know?
one of them has to say something eventually….
jason ⚡️
no way, leo would never… not too sure about yn though.
leo cares too much about their friendship
and he is convinced she only sees him as a friend
and he’s deathly afraid to ruin their friendship
pipes 🌸
why do we have dumb friends
why can’t THEY SEEEE
jason ⚡️
yeah it’s very annoying
man, maybe we shouldn’t interfere?
let them figure it out themselves
pipes 🌸
unless u want leo to date the first girl
who gives him the opportunity to date her,
i think we SHOULD interfere! not a lot just a tiny bit 🤏🏼
jason ⚡️
well i guess you have a point… but how?
pipes 🌸
OK hear me out fr
u share a dorm with leo, yeah?
he always leaves his phone unattended
go into twt and make sure he isnt logged into his private account
jason ⚡️
where is this headed
pipes 🌸
ok shut up
OK but make sure hes on the main
since he always talks about her on his priv
so if yn sees a tweet about her then
SHES GOTTA KNOW
jason ⚡️
FIRST OF ALL thats an invasion of privacy
SECOND OF ALL what if she doesn’t see it before
leo realizes that wasn’t tweeted on his private account
pipes 🌸
no she like stalks his twitter so she’ll see!
and uhm so what if it’s an invasion of privacy
he’ll thank us once he gets the girl of his dreams 🙄
jason ⚡️
ok then….
i’ll do it
but if this backfires i was not apart of it
pipes 🌸
yeah yeah whatever
i’ll take the blame
FIVE DAYS LATER, TWITTER!
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IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 10th, 2024
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latino elf
HOLY SHIT
HOLY SHIT
IM JUMPING OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF
it was so nice knowing u two
superman
don’t kys ur so sexy haha
what happened though
latino elf
i accidentally tweeted something
about yn.
on my main.
superman
hey man, maybe she didn’t see?
beauty queen
yeah she probably didn’t
latino elf
yeah u guys are RIGHT 😅
she DIDN’T SEE IT!!!
beauty queen
mhm
latino elf
you’re being oddly quiet…
beauty queen
sorry????? IM BUSY
latino elf
yeah huh
superman
you’re crazy
latino elf
oh my god i’m gonna throw up
my friend ship is over with her
she messaged meEEE
HELPPPP
superman
MESSAGE HER BACK???
GO GO GO GOOO BRO
latino elf
no i’m leaving her on delivered
beauty queen
i swear to gods if u don’t message her
jason and i WILL jump you 😭😭
superman
exactly!!
latino elf
it was so nice being her friend 🫤
beauty queen
BRO STFU AND READ HER MESSAGE???
latino elf
ok fine
bye…..
IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 10th, 2024
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y/n 🦈
leo did u mean to tweet that?
leo 🛠️
tweet what 🤨
y/n 🦈
you know what I’m talking about
you’re not stupid
leo 🛠️
you’re crazy
i got hacked by
jason
y/n 🦈
you’re crazier for thinking I’d believe you
so… u did mean to?
leo 🛠️
i don’t want to ruin our friendship
please don’t let this ruin it
you’re my bestest friend
y/n 🦈
gosh let me talk
i thought you didn’t like me
so i never said anything…?
but i like you, leo. i really do
leo 🛠️
oh my god
are you serious
wait i’m going to your dorm
y/n 🦈
what??
Delivered
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Leo looked at his phone for a good second and then left it on his bed, unattended. he ran to your residence hall— it didn’t matter to him that it was quite literally on the other side of campus. he needed to hear you say the words he had been waiting to hear since he was fifteen. he’d always had a slight crush on you, mostly off and on.
But during the summer, he had fallen for you even harder than he thought he could. he never thought that he could love someone as much as he loved you. anyway, he was practically dying as he ran to your dorm! his hair was disheveled, and he was panting a bit. he wasn’t sure if he was sweaty because he was nervous, or because he had just ran to get to your dorm.
He knocked on your door three times.
You jumped out of your bed. you felt like throwing up from how nervous you were. you quickly slid on your slippers, and looked in the mirror before you opened the door for him. (making the poor boy wait). you adjusted your hair, making sure it sat right.
You took a deep breath before opening the door. you almost didn’t, but a voice in your head was telling you that you’d be an idiot if you didn’t open the door. your hands gripped the doorknob, and then unlocked it. leo was practically dying because you were taking years to open the stupid door. you finally opened it, getting met by a disheveled-sweaty-flushed leo valdez.
“Hi.” he croaked out, his voice cracking slightly. he felt like he was on fire, literally. he wanted this to be over with! well, no, that’s a lie. he just wanted to be your boyfriend already.
“…Hi.” you answered, your voice was quiet. you had an awkward smile on your face. you were praying that you would just drown at this moment. you’d much rather enjoy that than this.
He cleared his throat, and finally spoke after a long minute of awkward silence. The two looked at each other “I really… really like you. I.. Uh.. You obviously know that already, but I wanna tell you in person?” he said, nodding along with his own words. his hands went to fumble with the hem of his shirt, anxiously waiting for your response.
“I really like you, too.” You replied. you didn’t feel as nervous as anymore when he started to talk. you felt your face getting hotter, and your smile getting bigger. he grinned at you like an idiot.
He thought that he was dreaming when you said you liked him. The start of something. “Really?” He asked, just wanting to hear you say it again. He couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. He thought never in a million years that you’d ever like him! You were totally out of his league. you were so awesome, so pretty, and so sweet.
You nodded again, rolling your eyes. “Yes, really.”
THREE MONTHS LATER… INSTAGRAM!
shark_girl
🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)
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Liked by percysbeth, lava_boy, pipermstealer, and 122 others
shark_girl happy three million years with my boy!!! i love u so so so much leo 🫶🏼🫶🏼
tagged: lava_boy
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lava_boy who is that sexy man in the 2nd slide
→ shark_girl idk i found him at the store……
lava_boy we’re literally like this 🤞🏼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
lava_boy te quiero !!
→ shark_girl 🤍🤍
lava_boy ugh why do we literally solo everyone in new rome
→ shark_girl ntm on percabeth !!!!
→ percysbeth 🫡🫡
pipermstealer yeah you’re welcome 🥱
→ supermantaylorsversion i did all the work
→ pipermstealer i gave u the idea
→ lava_boy thank u jason 😒 thank u piper 🙄
→ pipermstealer i hope she leaves u
→ shark_girl woah guys no need to say that
percysbeth i support 🤫 (pls cook for me leo)
→ lava_boy on it 😎
lava_boy
🎶 ivy : frank ocean
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Liked by supermantaylorsversion, shark_girl, and 98 others
lava_boy I would like to thank poseidon for being a father to my wonderful girlfriend of THREE DECADES 😎
tagged: shark_girl
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shark_girl I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DREAMIN’ WHEN U SAID U LOVEEEE MEEE 😭😭😭
→ lava_boy the start of nothin 🦈
shark_girl i’m taylor lautner
→ lava_boy FORREAL
shark_girl hi bf 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
→ lava_boy hello girlfriend.
→ shark_girl 😭😭😭
pipermstealer no because you guys are actually cute
→ lava_boy ACTUALLY cute 🤨
→ pipermstealer what do u want me to say yall are actually ugly
→ shark_girl pipe it down a notch 😔
supermantaylorsversion he’s a romantic now
→ lava_boy erm i’ve always been one get out 🤓
percysbeth no cause yn has actually dressed up as a shark
→ lava_boy send pics or it didn’t happen
→ percysbeth check imsg
→ shark_girl i thought that was PRIVATE
→ lava_boy LMFAOO U LOOKED SO GOOFY
→ shark_girl you’re done….
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。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ hello….. first smau done 😎 hopefully u really like this bc i died ten times whilst making it !!! uhmm pls lmk what you thought about it 🥲!!! i was sort of rushing at the end, so umm.. shhh 🤫…. @thelostheroo @amoosarte
also i will have a master list soon….???? (hopefully) and my requests are OPEN! so, plsplsplspls request…. con amor, mo!
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shotmrmiller · 5 months
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Okay but, this is fun! (When I was a server? I wore short skirts, stockings and heeled boots. They let me wear them, I had no joy in my life. So? I dressed up my uniform to make myself happy at the sacrifice of my feet at the end of shift.) I don’t miss it but, I had fun as a server.
Running up to the bar and whispering to Johnny to ‘look at table 4’ because the lady sitting there is recovering from a bbl and has bandages *holding* her butt up. (True story)
Any bit of gossip, you beeline back and Simon’s already waiting like ‘wots happenin’ now?’
Making faces at Johnny as you take someone’s order to show you’re displeased.
Whining to Simon ‘it’s that guy who sends everything back to get it comped again!’ When he hears someone sent the wings back… *again*
Snickering openly as Johnny is stuck with 2 horny old ladies at the bar and making faces at him when the customers aren’t looking to mock him.
Standing with Johnny at the bar and quietly conversing. “Nae way, that’s her father’ ‘I’m telling you! Crusty dusty with his side dish!’
Quickly squeaking behind Simon when shit looks like it’s going to get real in a few seconds. ‘Oh, that local crack head is back- Simon! Great to see you!’ *quickly scoots behind him* and just like- ‘hi!’ And peaking around him like he’s a s.w.a.t shield
Having to shoo Johnny away from the food Simon made you- ‘yea left it unattended!’ ‘This is the only food I’ve had in the past 6 hours! Simon! He’s eating my food!’ ‘She lies!’
Going to Simon with puppy dog eyes when you can’t open a jar-
Johnny plonking his butt down in the booth you’re rolling silverware in and not leaving even when you try and shoo him away to tend to the bar- the boss is glaring at me! He’s getting mad at me! Move your butt before I get in trouble because of you!’
Price being the manager that lets you get away with murder. If it makes you happy? He’ll turn a blind eye as long as you do your job. That goes for the other two knuckle heads… with you around? Johnny’s not fucking the customer base as often, leaving less upset girls coming in and making scenes when he inevitably doesn’t call them back. And Simon is fighting less, taking less smoke breaks (saving them for later) and making more orders properly (so you don’t get flack for it) so, he’ll turn a blind eye to what they’re doing to you… not that he isn’t doing it himself.
Trauma bonding from the shit job makes you real close that it kind of- makes you ignore when they get too handsy? ‘They’re still the guys, it’s fine’
(Bistro Huddy is so accurate it’s painful…)
(Dubious *not really* consent: Being trapped in the out of the way supply closet in the far back where no one goes. Your shift ended an hour ago but, you’re stuck; bent over an old chair stored there. Price zips up his pants- before you can stand back up again Simon’s stepping in where Price is stepping out and pushing you to bend back over the chair again. -Johnny running in for a quickie whenever he can- By the time the guys close up? You’re sore, gaping, leaking, overstimulated, and sniffling. And they’re all drawing straws who get’s to take you home and ‘take care of you’ so you’ll show up to your shift tomorrow.…I can’t do nsfw to save my life… I’m sorry, lol)
(Thought of this at the end but, Server Gaz?)
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
YOU WRETCH (affectionate, oh so affectionate i could kiss you)
THAT THE LAST BIT
OHHH MAN IM SCRREAMINGGGGUH
chile. having to give your receipts and the 3% you owe to price always ends up with his spend soaking your knickers :/ he prob knows your body better than you do, clever fingers making you peak before he does because yall (he) doesn't have the luxury of time on yalls (his) side. (not the other servers banging on the door because theyre just trying to go home)
imagine running to kyle because he seems to be the only sane one. you tried to eat lunch with him that one time in the back but it ended up with you cockwarming him as you attempted to pathetically eat your burger. (he hadn't even touched you and you'd come twice. poor you, so pent up from the week's frustrations. wait til simon hears about this.)
johnny doesn't hear about it but feels it once he finds you in the corner booth no one uses except the waiters who close, tiredly doing the silverware. his hands make quick work of your apron and the button on your jeans, pads of his fingers lightly catching your clit and dipping into your entrance but surprise surprise. wet. slick.
he mutters in your ear if it was price or simon that's left a mess behind but kyle's sitting a couple tables down from you counting his tips. that'd be me, sorry.
he's not sorry.
simon would be the type to scoop up his seed with his thick fingers and stuff it back into your used cunt talkin bout take that with you like it's a box to go lmao
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