#ok im done. im going to do drugs now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlemissmiller · 3 months

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𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝐻𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑠

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

Pairing: drug dealer!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

Summary: (au) with your graduation party around the corner, coriolanus is nervous to see you again. and with summer flying by, it’s doubtful he’ll get to have you as his own before college. after your party, your boyfriend throws a house party and you decide not to go. meanwhile, coriolanus sees something that involves your boyfriend and knows it might just be the end of your relationship…

Warning: 21+ (drinking, use of drugs, smoking) underage drinking, eventual smut, fluff, mentions of smut, boob groping (not done to MC), slight obsession, possession, toxic relationship, slight stalking

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: hi…… (•_____•) ok it’s finally here. i was trying to get this out sooner but now that billy is done (which ugh cant wait for the next season already 😩) i’ll have more time to delicate to this series. also i was getting a request done and still have another coming up. so chapter three…not much to say other than oh boy the plot is getting juicy and im so happy with this one! ok that’s it ummm sorry for the time length on these but i will be writing it all summer so enjoy ❣︎

Series Masterlist | Playlist

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

A few weeks had gone by and Coriolanus’s high hopes of having you to himself was dwindling. It’s not like he saw much of you anymore, and had no idea how to hang out with you alone without your boyfriend stirring up shit. He received your graduation party invitation and was mentally preparing to see you again. Each time he went to Sejanus’s house, he would check to see if you were home, and sometimes you’d be outside. He would awkwardly wave and you’d smile back. Something he noticed however, was the fact that he seems to see less and less of Devon’s car. Coriolanus would try not to get ahead of himself, but he could help but think maybe you and Devon were closer to breaking up. Still, that gave him little hope since he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

As he sits with Sejanus in his room, he slowly blows out the smoke from his joint, through his window. Sejanus coughs and turns his head.

“You know you could use this from time to time. You might be less anxious.”

“Maybe…”

The high flows through him, his mind going numb, his body feeling light and calm. He takes another hit before knocking off the ashes and settling it on his ashtray. Another euphoric wave washes over him again and he leans back in his chair and sighs. He takes a swig from his Red Bull and picks up his controller.

“Wanna do teams this time, kinda wanna get some online stats up.”

“Yeah”

As the two boys continue their game, Coriolanus is glad to not feel as pent up and angry. He finally feels like his mind isn’t obsessing over you for the first time all day. It has become a daily, if not hourly occurrence. His mind racing with thoughts. Thoughts of you, naked before him, your beautiful mouth agape and ready and you begging to suck him off. He would also imagine you on all fours, your perfect ass stuck up in the air, pussy on full display. What he would give to rub his face in it, bury his tongue deep inside you until you came.

Coriolanus shifts in his seat, his thoughts now fully back on you. Just as he thought he was doing better with his fantasies of you He takes another hit to drown out his feelings.

“Aw man these guys are good.” Sejanus exclaims

“We can beat them…”

The two boys finish the round, beating the other team. They play a few more rounds, then Tigris knocks on the door.

“Oh god, how can it still smell with the windows open.” She asks, face scrunching up

“I lit a candle” Coriolanus quips

“Still, anyways, I got you an outfit for tomorrow.”

“Oh you’re going too?” Sejanus questions

“Why wouldn’t I?” Coriolanus shrugs

“Because of Devon.”

Tigris leaves momentarily and comes back with a nice white button up, decorated with small red roses. Even with the design, it’s still masculine enough for Coriolanus liking. They were small enough to look like scattered polka dots and honestly it’s very sophisticated and sexy.

“It should fit. I borrowed your graduation shirt for measurements and I think that nice pair of your dad’s of black khakis will look perfect.”

“You made this?” He asks

Tigris nods with a big smile.

“Well I thought that she’d like it. Leave Devon for you. You’re far more handsome anyways.”

She, referring to you. Of course Tigris knows without him saying anything. He doesn’t mind. Coriolanus' heart skips and he smiles back at his cousin, appreciating the kind gesture.

“I appreciate it, Ty.” Of course

Tigris waits as he tries it on. He takes his shirt off and buttons up the new one. Coriolanus looks in the mirror. It fits him just right and he likes how it cuts into his figure.

“Yeah. It’s perfect.” He moves his arms around making sure it wasn’t too tight in any places.

Tigris smiles and leaves the room. Coriolanus hangs up the shirt and sits back down on the bed, putting his old, worn white shirt back on. The two boys continue playing their game.

“It looks nice.” Sejanus remarks

“Thanks man.”

“Oh guess what!” Sejanus perks up as he hits a combo attack

“What?”

“I uh think Devon and them might be done soon. “

“Why?” Coriolanus inquires

“I hardly see him anymore. And last night he stormed off big time. I could hear them yelling from my window. I think it might have been about you, but I wasn’t too sure.”

“Really. Like what?” The blonde leans in closer

“He was mad that someone was coming to the party tomorrow, and shouted at her that she needs to do something about him…”

Coriolanus’s mind fires up again. Through the fog of his high, he refocuses, and he feels sharp with this new found knowledge. He smirks to himself, satisfied that Devon feels pissed off by the very idea that Coriolanus Snow will be in attendance at his graduation party. He likes this feeling. The power he holds from afar and the fact that he seemingly lives rent free in Devon’s head. And maybe even in yours. Coriolanus would selfishly love to see you two break up. He would do anything to have you.

He smashes one of the other players off the map, winning the round. Feeling victorious, and not just from the video games, Coriolanus lights up his joint again. He places it in his mouth, inhales, and blows it out the window. He falls back into a dream-like state. He takes another hit, inhaling deeper this time.

“Fuck dude.” Coriolanus whispers, the smoke escaping his lips as he talks

“What?”

“You think I have a chance with her?”

“Maybe.” Sejanus shrugs

The next day comes fast and Coriolanus once again drives to pick up Sejanus. You are already gone, setting up for the party. Coriolanus feels confident, cocky even as he rolls past your house. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel. His favorite Cage the Elephant song, Back Against the Wall, was playing and he couldn’t be happier. With his new shirt and the new cologne Tigris got him for graduation, he felt irresistible.

“Hey man! Looking good!” Sejanus exclaims as he hops into Coriolanus’s truck.

The two boys ride off to the country club. Money, Power and Glory by Lana del Ray starts to play as they roll up and Coriolanus hums along. As they are parking, a man in a black polo waves them down and Coriolanus assumes he’s a valet. He rolls down his window.

“Hey! Are you maintenance? You gotta go around back there should be some signs…”

“I’m here for the graduation party!” Coriolanus quips sharply

The man looks stunned and gives an apologetic expression.

“I’m so sorry! You can park down that way umm the valet should be…” he looks around frantically

“Thanks!”

Coriolanus drives past him and huffs in frustration.

“That was rude.” Sejanus remarks and Coriolanus simply rolls his eyes. They park a little further from the rest of the cars and walk up the entrance. As they walk up Coriolanus notices Sejanus is carrying two little gift bags.

“Ma got them $200 for Bed Bath and Beyond…”

“Well I didn’t bring anything.” Coriolanus mumbles as they walk in.

The country club is huge. Wide windows looking out onto the golf course, with nearly polished mahogany wood floors, and the main entrance leading into several areas to sit and eat drinks. The furniture is equally as grand, with red chesterfield chairs and couches and sitting on top of Persian rugs. The walls were a crème white and the whole place smells of old money. Various waiters and waitresses are walking around with flutes of champagne and hors d’oeuvres.

“I’m surprised that guy outside didn’t recognize me. I’m sure he knows we are members here…”

“It’s hard to believe that people like you would run around with anyone like the likes of me and my family anymore.”

“What do you mean? Your dad used to come here too?”

“Used to…”

Coriolanus didn’t talk much about his dad and it wasn’t a subject Sejanus would bring up often. It was true, before both his parents died, they had been wealthy, but his dad had worked with Mr. Plinth as Vice President of marketing, but tragically both his parents had died in a plane crash on vacation with Tigris’s parents, leaving them both orphans and in the care of the grandparents. However, Coriolanus would learn growing up that his father had blown most of his money away on gambling, leaving the Snow family name in debt and broke.

Sejanus quiets down and takes a caramelized onion, cream cheese tart from a waiter. He takes water as well and nervously sips it.

“Sorry I don’t mean to mention him.”

“It’s fine man.”

Then you flow into the room. You’re wearing a delicate, pink, strapless dress that flows as you walk. Your hair is slightly curled, bouncy, and has a pink satin bow to match. You’re absolutely precious, his eyes practically undressing you. You turn and smile at him. Coriolanus waves and you come greet him and Sejanus.

“Hey boys, glad you could come!” You beam

“Hey, where can I put these?” Sejanus pipes up

“Oh there’s a table by the entrance.” You point

Sejanus smiles, leaving you alone with Coriolanus. He tempers his breath and you step closer to him.

“You look nice.” He nods

“Thanks. You do too. Did Tigris make that?”

“She did” he beams back at her

“That girl is gonna work for Gucci one day…you uh smell nice again too.”

“Thanks. This is a good color on you.” He states, rubbing the fabric between his forefinger and thumb. You giggle and look at his hand. He immediately pulls back, a rush of embarrassment washing over him. Coriolanus feels his face getting red and he runs his fingers through his blonde buzz cut. But you still just smile at him, finding it charming that he’s slightly embarrassed.

“So where is my graduation gift from you?” You perk up, teasing him

“Oh I feel stupid saying this but I didn’t bring one I guess…”

“It’s fine. I have enough things anyways.” You joke

“Well this is nice of you to invite the whole grade. This place is lovely.”

“Yeah it’s nice to be able to rent the space. And it was cheaper to do it with Devon, so I guess it worked out nice.”

“I guess so.” He chuckles

You and him stand in silence for a moment until Sejanus returns. The three of you make conversation, Sejanus informing you that his mom got you a gift card and you thank him. Coriolanus starts to ask what you are looking forward to the most about college and you light up. You start talking about how amazing the medical science program is and how you simply can’t wait for the biology labs. Coriolanus couldn’t understand how anyone would be truly interested in what you’re talking about, but he loves how much it interests you. He loves how passionate and smart you are on the subject, and clings to every word. You brush your hair to the side and Coriolanus can’t help but let his eyes trail your shoulders and collar bone. He would love to kiss the bare skin in front of him. Just in the divot of your bone and then, all the way up to your neck. Would you whine for him? Moan at his lips on you, as he shows you how beautiful you are. How much he loves you. He’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t even notice Devon making his way towards the group

Sejanus nudges Coriolanus who looks at him, then sees Devon. He calls to you and you spin around. You smile, but Coriolanus knows it’s a facade.

“Hey! Mom wants pictures so I’m stealing you away.”

Devon rubs your arm and pulls you to him. You start to trot away and follow him.

“Ok. Well I’ll see you boys around.” You call out

Devon glares at Coriolanus, before leaning down to whisper something in your ear.

“Prick…” Coriolanus mumbles

As the party continues, Coriolanus and Sejanus make their way around, catching up with a few classmates. The country club has a nice, spacious outdoor patio and a big lawn for yard games. Eventually the two boys find their way to a Bags game and play against each other. You see him and find one of you girls to join you and Sejanus.

“Need some more players?” You ask

“Of course!” Coriolanus smiles.

You opt to stand on the same side as Coriolanus, while your teammate stands next to Sejanus. Coriolanus looks around for Devon.

“Where’s Devon?” He asks, trying to sound casual

“I think his dad said him and his buddies are going to do a few holes on the golf course.”

“At his own graduation party?” Coriolanus jokes

You shrug your shoulders.

“I’m just happy to be able to talk to you without him being a vulture.”

“Yeah he can be a bit much”

“Besides, I like being able to actually talk to you.”

Coriolanus feels his face get hot again, and bites his lip. Fuck. His breath hitches as he tries to casually toss a bean bag across the lawn. It lands on the board with a fat smack.

“Nice!” Sejanus calls out

“So are you going to Devon’s house party tonight?” You ask

“He’s having another party tonight?”

“Yeah I guess his parents are going out of town like immediately after this so he wanted to throw a banger” she sighs, putting the last few words in air quotes, mocking him.

Coriolanus snickers as you toss a bag over. It hits the board and slides off. You frown.

“I was trying to knock you off!” You giggle

“Gonna have to try harder.” Coriolanus remarks then pauses “ But umm…I’m not sure about the party.”

“I’m not either, but I might go. I know I’ll be kinda tired after today.”

Coriolanus ponders the offer for a moment. The possibility of hanging out with you longer is tempting, but not guaranteed. He sighs as he tosses his last bag, making it in.

“Man you’re good!” You exclaim.

The game continues and the two boys win by a far margin. After, Coriolanus chats it up with you, feeling comfortable and relaxed knowing Devon is off playing golf. You and him walk around and he wishes he could hold your hand, kiss your forehead and tell you how stunning you look. Touching your dress would be the closest thing he thought he would ever get to touching you in that intimate way. And here he is, talking to you about something besides physics or biology. You’re currently telling him about your Pinterest board for your dorm decor, a conversation he would normally find mundane, but coming from you, he’s utterly captivated. Eventually you and him find yourself alone inside, mostly isolated from the other guests. You stand there and he can’t help but want to steal a kiss from you, but he knew you’d never cheat. And he wouldn’t try anything of course, but your face, your beautiful plump lips, they look so soft. You are like a siren to him and he feels mesmerized.

Around 4 o’clock, Sejanus and Coriolanus say their goodbyes and head out. In the car on the way back to Sejanus’s house, the two discuss if they should go to the party. As they pull up to the driveway, Coriolanus’s phone dings. It’s one of his classmates, texting him about the party.

Hey, you selling tonight

Wasn’t planning on going

Ah ok then

He stares at the text, contemplating the offer.

“Hey you know what, let’s go tonight…”

“You sure.”

“Someone wants to buy. You think you can steal a couple of Valiums from your ma?”

The evening rolls around, and Coriolanus has changed into a pair of jeans and a black shirt. He puts on one of his Cuban link chains and some more cologne, just in case you’re there. As he rolls back into Sejanus’s neighborhood, he checks his pockets. He’s got a few ounces of weed on him, a few pills of ecstasy, and some acid tablets. Hopefully, Sejanus got the Valium. Coriolanus rolls back up to the Plinth house and turns down his music. Sejanus comes out, hands stuffed into his pockets. By the way he is glancing over his shoulder and awkwardly moving, he got the pills.

“You got them?”

Sejanus looks around and hands Coriolanus a small bag with six blue pills.

“Oh nice! Good work Sejay.” He takes the bag from his hands, stuffing in next to his weed.

“Thanks I guess.”

“You could use one of these. Probably more than a nice solid hit of flower.” Coriolanus suggests

“You’d feel bad too if it was your grandma or something.”

“Yeah, but c’mon your mom needs to get off these anyways. They aren’t doing her much good.”

“I guess so.”

The two pull up to Devon’s house and the music from the basement is booming. He looks around for your car, but it’s nowhere to be found. A few girls head in and Coriolanus watches them. It’s a group of your friends, but you’re not with him. He hangs his head and sighs. You’re probably not coming, he concludes. He curses at the steering wheel, hitting it. A part of him feels like he’s wasting his time, but he would like to make a little extra cash. Fuck it. Sejanus looks at him with concern, but exits the car. They enter through the front door, and find the stairs to the basement. The music blares loudly and the main lighting is replaced with LED strips glowing all along the walls. It’s packed and smells like indica and beer. Coriolanus searches around for a solo cup and a bottle of Captain Morgan. He finds both next to the beer pong table and pours himself a drink. He takes a swig, loving how it warms his body.

“Are you gonna need me to drive home?” Sejanus inquires tentatively

“I’ll be fine. Here.” Coriolanus shoves a cup into Sejanus’s hands and pours him some rum. He takes a small sip and scrunches up his face. He lets out a heavy cough, causing Coriolanus to roll his eyes. He looks around and you're still nowhere to be found. He takes another drink. After a few more sips, he feels woozy and eventually a classmate of his approaches wanting some weed. He sells him an eighth of an ounce for $35 and then a few more people approach. He sells a few tabs of acid for $65 each and a Valium for $40.

“Fuck dude, you really know how to make money.”

“It’s a simple job if you’re not too uptight.” He eyes Sejanus.

They walk around, a few more people buy from Coriolanus and about an hour later, he had about $430 dollars. Eventually, one of your friends ask for a Valium.

“Here.” He hands it to her, taking the $40

“You drive a high price. Can't you give me a little discount?”

“Why.”

“Cause you like my friend.” She bats her eyes

“Yeah and if you were her, then maybe. Are you buying for her?”

“If I said yes would I get a discount?”

He shakes his head. She rolls her eyes and walks away. Coriolanus wasn’t sure if you had done a drug stronger than Tylenol. He wasn’t aware of any surgeries or injuries you had, so it was doubtful you had even taken morphine for pain. He imagined it though. Your little pink tongue sticking out, a tab of acid hanging from the end. How sexy would you look in nothing but your underwear like that too. Or maybe you’d be more sophisticated, and he thought of you naked in your bath, joint hanging loosely in between your fingers. He’d love to see you like that. All naked, clean and high.

He walks around to find Sejanus, who is trying his best to drunkenly flirt with one of his classmates. He walks past a back room in the basement, glances in for a moment and instead finds Devon. At first he stands back, hides, and scoffs quietly to himself. Then he hears a giggle, followed by a moan. He peeks his head in slightly and finds Devon making out with some girl. And it’s definitely not you. He’s slowly teasing the girl’s shirt down her body, and he reaches down to grope her breast harshly, kissing her neck.

“Fuck…” he whispers into her

Coriolanus is stunned, can he really believe his eyes. He’s not surprised given Devon’s reputation, but still. He thinks for a moment and then, silently pulls out his phone. He opens it and pulls up his camera. He hits record. Coriolanus angles it to hide the camera, but makes sure that he can still see the girl on top of Devon and his face. She moves on him, moaning his name and whispering about how “Miss perfect” couldn’t please him like this. Coriolanus’s blood boils at that remark. He slowly backs away and then when he finds a secluded corner and reviews the video on his phone. Coriolanus turns the volume down just enough so he can hear and leans in. He rewatches the video and can clearly see Devon’s face and can clearly hear the other girls voice. It’s perfect. But how to use it.

Coriolanus makes sure the video is saved on his phone, before rushing off to find Sejanus again. Coriolanus walks around, pushing past people, until he finds him awkwardly chatting it up with some girl.

“Hey” Coriolanus announces himself

“Hey Snow…” the girl says

“Dude c’mere! I gotta show you this” he demands, dragging Sejanus away.

“What! What’s up?”

Coriolanus whips out his phone and pulls up the video. Sejanus leans in, confused at first, but then, realizes. Eyes wide, he tilts his head in to hear the audio. He looks at Coriolanus in shock, mouth agape.

“Is that?”

“That’s Devon yeah…”

“Holy shit dude!” Sejanus laughs, stumbling into Coriolanus slightly

“Yeah. Hey are you ok?” You wanna get outta here?”

Sejanus shakes his head drunkenly and Coriolanus takes his arm.

“Come on dude, let’s go.”

“But I was talking to someone…” he slurs

“Yeah, she seems busy.” Coriolanus nudges

The girl Sejanus was talking to is now preoccupied with another man’s mouth, aggressively making out with the other guy. He frowns and walks to the stairs, Coriolanus dragging him along. When the two boys get into the car, Coriolanus doesn’t feel drunk and honestly feels fine to drive. Truthfully, seeing Devon cheating sobered him up and he was still thinking of what he was going to do with the video. He turns the key, starts up his truck, and rides back to Sejanus’s neighborhood. On the way back, he thinks about the best way to get it out without having his name tied to it. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, looking over at a passed out Sejanus, he gets an idea. He’s not sure who will see it or if it will work but he’s sure it will be anonymous. A popular app used at school to spread gossip anonymously, Yik Yak, Coriolanus thought it might just work to post it there. They finally reach Sejanus’s neighborhood, and Coriolanus glances at your house, a plan now in mind. As he pulls into the Plinth’s driveway, he wakes Sejanus up.

“Hey…we're home”

“Oh that was fast.” Sejanus mumbles, yawing

“For you. I’ll walk you in if you need it.”

“Nah man, I’ll be good.” He opens the door, waves and heads inside.

Coriolanus takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment. He whips out his phone and pulls the video up again. The lewd sounds of Devon’s moans start up again and Coriolanus cringes. Then, the thing that really pissed him off.

“I bet Miss Perfect couldn’t please you like this.” The girl moans

Coriolanus glances at the mirror, gazing at your house. He spots your car parked in the driveway as expected and realizes your most likely sound asleep. Sound asleep as your good for nothing boyfriend is sticking it in another girl. Fuck it. He pulls the app up and impatiently waits for it to load. Coriolanus pulls up his school’s group. And He taps the green plus sign, watching the cursor as it blinks. He then hits the video button and pulls up the video. It uploads and then he waits, looks back at your house again and frowns. He knew you didn’t deserve him and you needed to know that Devon was an absolute ass. You deserve better. He hits the post button and it sends.

꧁🝮❤︎︎🝮꧂

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phoenix--flying · 2 years

Text

pjo characters as things my friend group has said

Hazel: I just kinda radiate towards caves

Nico: Breathing has been taken out of Nicos software

Connor: I can speedrun to your house when you're home alone

Cecil: raisins are dehydrated rats

Percy: It's a roller coaster where the only option is to die

Will: I just goooot- my jugular sliced open by a cat

Nico: We're going out tonight and killing all the homophobes. Call it a date

Will: Why am I so much taller then- Oh its cause im standing on a dead body

Connor: You're sooo welcome. I literally did nothing

Hazel: Just because your trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called a trash can not a trash cannot

Piper: Cut my hair, I'll cut your throat

Thalia: Sometimes I do slap kids

Travis: When I grow up I'm gonna be a legal drug dealer

Beckendorf: I’m going to drop kick myself into space

Malcom: Briefly describe three applications that make use of the total eternal reflection of light Connor: The colour seven

Grover: Percys reaching old age, we should put him in a retirement home

Piper: Leo what did you do Leo: I may have burned down an orphanage and it may have spread to this site.

Lou Ellen: Travelling, usually done on the ceiling

Will: Imagine sitting on your couch watching TV and your phone buzzes. Reminder: Breathe

Austin: i just broke an acorn.. panic whY IS THERE AN ACORN IN MY ROOM

Nico: i feel like today happened yesterday and i just slept for all of tomorrow and woke up in the evening

Malcom: yeah i fell down the stairs and broke my spine in 3 places Connor: that's hot

Jason: Nitroglycerin. The forbidden smoothie

Will: I always look like trash. Annabeth: I know that's why I hate looking like trash

Travis: well we only have a few minutes left of class.. y'all wanna watch something explode

Piper: It sounded like you smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and then hit puberty

Jason: Imagine you get fired the day after you die

Nico: My stomach just like...started learning German

Nyssa: Leo if you don't leave, i'm shoving this desk fan up your ass

Jason: I slammed my foot on the accelerator, running multiple red lights at 220km/h, because I wanted to drive safe

Nyssa: When you go through the car wash but you forget the car

Drew: *points at trashcan* That looks like you

Nico: I only want chemistry between me and a coffin

Jake: Gotta put your wheelchair in 4Wheeldrive. Outdoor mode. Off-road mode

Leo: Murder is ok as long as its fine

Percy: Maybe if I fall asleep on my textbook I'll wake up with all the knowledge

Connor: Let's play spin the bottle but it's only you and me

Leo: Now how do we calculate the density if swiss cheese

Clarisse: I have to ask one of the experts Chris: Who are the experts? Clarisse: I don't know

Piper: Your mom is on vacation Leo: well- she's on a permanent vacation

Michael: AYO BITCH YOUR FOODS FLAMIN THE FUCK

Silena: If you're slow I'm a fucking snail

Jason: We need to hold a funeral! Percy: Here comes the bride

Beckendorf: Have you ever died? No??? Well here you go!!! Death simulator. It’s permanent!

*Annabeth and Percy sitting on a bench with drinks and a cop drives by* Percy: What if they thought we were drinking and driving Annabeth: We're not in a car

Will: I'm so smart Nico: Oh my god since when

Piper: *gives Leo a singular goldfish* Piper: Feeding the poor

Lou Ellen: Bless your soul Nico: What soul? Lou Ellen: ...good answer

Sherman: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and anybody else if you throw it hard enough

Connor: I can see the veins in my eyes

Ellis: Whatever sinks your boat!

Cecil: You can't kill the gays if the gays kill you first

Will: dude sorry there's a knife in your grandma's face it grew wings and flew there :( Cecil: I’m sorry my knife flew out of my hand and slit that guys throat then burned it so he wouldn’t bleed

Silena: *playing Minecraft* I walked into your house and your birds started aggressively dancing at me

Lee: That's just so unfortunate for me. That is just so- oh I died

Percy: Wanna go to Toronto? Why drive just take the Earth Quake on natural disaster

Travis: The roof is just caving in on us it's fine

Michael: My arms are broken, my legs are broken, my lungs are broken, my knees are broken, I got decapitated when I was five

Connor: We're gonna die? No we're gonna beat the speedrun world record

Cecil: Hell to go down I there

Will: Mask to mask resuscitation

Travis: I may or may not have accidentally dropped a match in the building on purpose

Nico: Minecraft but I accidentally sets a school on fire

Percy: Minecraft but I die of hypothermia

Piper: Minecraft but I left my eyes at home

Jake: Minecraft but my legs are broken

Jason: Minecraft but I died

Lou Ellen: Minecraft but we're all gay

Will: If I die the game is homophobic

Cecil: Minecraft but I run my best friend over

Nico: I wanna hit a citizen with a baseball bat

Michael: Hey sir, you have Alzheimer’s. Would you like a side of bronchitis?

Silena: Why can't this be straight? Lee: Because you're not

Lou Ellen: mmmm i love my jesus fish Cecil: bro jesus fish Lou Ellen: ikr, jesus moment

867 notes · View notes

mammalsofaction · 1 month

Note

Hi I wanted to ask you about a fanfic idea? You don’t have to answer this but I have a couple ideas and I’ve been to busy to really put it to use.

You know in the movie into the 2nd dimension where Perry’s able to hold up 2 kids, 1 teen, and a fully grown evil scientist. I thought of the idea of what would happen if his host family saw that or if he got a bit to rough with Dr d during a fight.

You might have already had this idea or have even already done it but i thought it would be a fun short fic or something.

Early Days

Rating: G

Relationships: Bg Lawrence Fletcher/Linda Flynn-Fletcher

Characters: Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Lawrence Fletcher, Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz mentioned, Flynn Fletcher siblings mentioned

Add tags: Non graphic depiction of violence, non graphic depiction of injuries, family feels, light angst, PnF S1 Hail Doofania, human Perry the Platypus, mute Perry the Platypus

A/N: This takes place in the early days of Perry and Heinz's nemesis ship. In the episode Hail Doofania in S1, Perry spends almost the entire episode wearing a protective collar. His flashback shows us that Heinz pushed him down a sandpaper making factory that tore up the fur on his body, making Linda suspect he's scratching himself up due to some sort of rash.

In the human!Perry version, I take this further to mean that he's wearing some sort of neck brace, meaning that Heinz had--at some point early in their relationship--had hurt him quite bad. I thought it's fitting to fulfil the ask. Perry still calls Heinz 'Doofenshmirtz'.

This fic mainly centres around Perry's relationship with Linda and Lawrence, and how they worry for him. The boys are maybe 5 years old here, making Candace 10.

If you want to understand the reference to Ferb's mom, i recommend reading my human Perry lore post linked in my pinned post.

Im sorry this took so long @salty-frenchfry . Between life happening and my laptop going Ka-put, finding the time to properly address this ask took longer than I'd like. I never forgot it though! I hope this little short is ok 😭

---

In his line of work, injuries were unavoidable.

Often times, they were easy enough to hide. Bruises were most common. Perry's long since taken to keeping a spare set of make-up with a replenishable bottle of concealer on his person, whether that be the dash of his hovercar or the storage box beneath the seat of his scooter. And what the concealer couldn't hide, his sleeves and long trouser pants could.

He's good enough at what he does. That being said, sometimes Doofenshmirtz gets a lucky shot.

Linda stormed into his private ward like an avenging angel, and Lawrence trails behind her in a more sedate, nevertheless eager pace. The nurse, as well as a be-suited nameless OWCA insurance representative slips out silently to leave him to their harried concerns, though not before the former sends him a small smile for good luck. The married couple barely notices.

"What happened?" Linda demands. Lawrence makes himself at home in the bedside chair, letting his wife take charge of the mother henning for now. "The hospital told us you'd gotten involved in a car accident? Oh Perry, your handsome face." She cried, bottom lip wobbling, and if Perry didn't have his left hand in a cast and his body completely leaden with drugs, he would have reached out to reassure her. As it was, he could only attempt to do what he can with a strained smile.

He hadn't known, until this point, what excuse OWCA had given the Flynn Fletchers to obfuscate the circumstances surrounding the severity of his injuries, but he really should have guessed. OWCA loved car accidents. In truth, he'd lost his balance over the edge of a rooftop while fighting with Doofenshmirtz, and he'd somehow managed to push Perry over. Perry had fallen through a roof of a sandpaper making factory, down 20 feet onto some crates and toppling heavy machinery. He'd almost broken his neck, fractured his left wrist, dislocated his left knee joint (the side that had broken his fall) and his face looks like he'd gone 5 rounds with Mohammad Ali. Thankfully he'd found he'd managed to thwart Doofenshmirtz's scheme anyway (he'd thrown a shoe into the revealed gearwork of his Unpaved-Inator, a machine designed to revert paved walk lanes into unstable cobbled paths. As if Danville didn't suffer from enough sabotage in terms of accessible walkable infrastructure), so at the very least, it was not a complete failure. The paperwork would've been impossible, instead of just insufferable.

He'd been given a voice to text machine by his bedside by his functional hand, a small voice box in respect to his disability, and he uses it to lie in it's emotionless vaguely feminine robotic voice. "T-boned into a truck running a red light." He says. OWCA would take this lie and run with it later. "Thrown onto the road. Think it slipped."

Linda and Lawrence made appropriately sympathetic noises. When Perry lolled his head to the side, he realizes his brother-in-law looks far more haggard than he'd initially noticed; red rimmed eyes and a glassy smile. Stiff upper lip. Well. Ferb had gotten it from someone. "You'd scared the children out of their wits, Perry." He says quietly, likely to conceal the shaking in his voice. "They're waiting in the car as we speak. None of us had quite the appetite for dinner after we'd gotten the news."

The strained smile slips into a slightly more sincere, more painful smirk. "Just the kids?" Perry asked, and Lawrence barks in laughter that sounds far too similar to a sob.

He can't imagine what he sees, what it must've been for him to have gotten the news. OWCA had told him it was a car accident too, for Ferb's mother nearly 5 years ago to the dot, now.

He'd not even got to see the body, then.

His heart squeezes in guilt, an all too familiar ache. Lawrence had been through enough: the point of a stable nemesis ship was to avoid injuries of such a caliber. To provide stability, safety. Security. Perry didn't want Linda, didn't want the kids, to ever worry about whether he would come home, especially not with the line of work he tells them he's involved in.

A gentle knock on the door heralds a familiar face: a specialist Perry had seen once or twice walking down the corridors of OWCA's medical bay as an emergency field medic, sans the white fedora with a red band denoting his position within the organisation.

This time he was simply wearing a signature Doctor's lab coat, holding a clipboard and flanked by a pocky young adult in scrubs, buzzing with caffeine. "Flynn-Fletchers?" He requested gently. Linda makes an affirmative noise, and the duo welcomes themselves inside the ward with that familiar professional smile.

"He's got banged up pretty bad out there." The doctor offers in a vague, sympathetic manner. "Has he told you what happened?"

Perry thinks he sees Lawrence and Linda share an unreadable look. "A car accident." Lawrence echoes hesitantly. "With a truck?"

The unnamed doctor nods, writing something down on his clipboard, likely the cover story he would need to report back to Francis shortly. "The impact had broken his collar bones and given him a mild concussion." He reports. The pocky nurse at hands out a print of Perry's X-ray reports, and Perry watches the married couple analyse the given print like it was anything comprehensible. "He'd landed on his left side, fracturing his left wrist, up to the back of his ulna, so we're casting it for now. No surgery beyond the one we've done to his collarbones immediately upon his arrival to the AnE, which has already been covered by his work insurance."

This seems to surprise Linda. " As an accountant?"

The doctor doesn't even blink. "Seems like it. Good health insurance plan. We're assigning him to a couple more days in the hospital to watch over his condition, and about 2 months bedrest before he can go back to work. If everything goes smoothly, we can discharge him by the end of the week. Any questions?"

"Paid vacation?"

It's a question asked through the robotic monotone of Perry's given voicebox. The doctor gives Perry a secretive, sympathetic smile for the unspoken concerns he understands far too well. "I'm afraid you will have to ask your superiors. My influence remain within these walls, I'm afraid. But I'll put in a good word."

Perry sighs. It comes out weaselly and creaky, and Lawrence reaches forward to squeeze his uninjured shoulder in reassurance. "Thanks, doc." Perry says, because he wasn't an animal.

"My pleasure." He says, which must've been some sort of cue. The pocky nurse moves to exit, leaving them with the X-Ray prints, and holding the door open. "I'll let you get your rest, and you may refer to Consultation for any questions regarding visitation hours. We'll be able to greenlight him tomorrow."

Linda and Lawrence thank him, watching him leave before they redirect their attention back to Perry's prone form.

Linda has her lips pursed in displeasure. "Your boss doesn't really want you back so soon after your accident, would they?"

Perry sighs again. This time, the exhales brings his attention to his parched throat. "I can't say." He types into the voicebox. It's not the answer she was looking for, he can tell from the continued sour look of her face. Lawrence face becomes even more pained.

"Can you promise you won't be doing this again?" He requests, and while his throat and his guilt tears him from the inside out, Perry lets himself chuckle lightly.

"I can't help these things, Lawrence."

The silence that follows is heavy with things Perry feels they're both keeping from each other. Linda sits heavily in the chair next to her husband, and reaches out to squeeze his hand, hanging limply by the armrest. Lawrence looks him in the eye, pointedly silent, and he smiles something wane and unreadable.

"No," he says. "No, I don't suppose you can."

#Phineas and ferb #choice of fic #choice of ask #request fill #linda flynn fletcher #lawrence Fletcher #human perry #mute perry #light angst

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star-girl69 · 1 year

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do you have any hcs for what dating natalie would be like?

Dating Natalie Scatorccio Headcannons

(pre and post crash)

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol, regular yellowjackets things, tell me if i missed anything!!

pre crash

IM SORRY I LOVE NATALIE BUT…. SHES A LITTLE TOXIC BEFORE THE CRASH

and i mean you can partly place the blame on her using and also her home life, but still

she gets a little jealous…. gets a little crazy….

but sooner or later she’ll finally realize that she’s just being a little silly and apologize to you

date nights for her depend on her mood. if she’s happy? you’re going out and doing something! think shauna and adam in season one- mini golfing, jumping off bridges, etc

if she’s not in a good mood, then she probably just wants you and let’s be honest some drugs and/or alcohol (I LOVE HER I SWEAR)

if her dad is still alive then he’s real suspicious of y’all but HIS DAUGHTER BEING GAY??? HE REFUSES TO EVEN ENTERTAIN THE IDEA

just some gal pal’s to him

NATALIE AT SCHOOL IS WILD

when she’s not skipping she’s probably finding some way to annoy you

“will you come to practice today?” “sorry nat i have to study” “oh, okay. will you come to practice today?” “no, i have to study” “that’s cool. will you come to practice today tho?”

and if you’re also on the soccer team she is so happy!!! loves talking to you about what happened during the game bc unlike other people she knows, who don’t like soccer, or aren’t as into it as her, you just get it like no one else does

communicating with looks across the fields for sure

if you’re not on the team you basically are bc she INSISTS you come to every single game and every single practice

“PLEASE I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!” “but like we win every time you’re there so….”

coach martinez genuinely told you to stop studying and get on the field and you were like ???

but he insisted so you walked out there until natalie was like ???

“you do realize y/n is not actually on the team, right, coach….?”

wilderness

natalie is so done with the wilderness as soon as she gets there like

especially during the summer months even if you suck you’re going hunting with her

like literally imagine just sitting on a tree stump while natalie just goes PEW PEW PEW and the brings back like a bunch of dead rabbits bc she’s amazing like that

she LOVESSSS reminding you (and everyone tbh) that she was the one to get the food

“omg this is so good” “thanks yeah what can i say i have a gift”

she totally finds a little corner of the cabin somewhere and just is like: me and you here ok? ok

winter months get crazy

all of sudden she’s like no don’t come hunting stay back but like you’ve gotten weirdly into it now and besides YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER??

“no you can’t come”

“why?”

“bc it’s cold!!!!”

“ok and??? you’re going!!!”

“ITS DIFFERENT OK”

“NO ITS NOT???”

eventually she’ll probably cave in and let you come but TRUST she is wrapping you up herself you look like a little penguin at the end probably

but if it’s ever like REALLY cold she is not above begging to make sure you stay in the cabin

—-

everything taglist:

@emilynissangtr

#yellowjackets x reader #natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader

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hazshit-hotel-hater · 7 months

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Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

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karmalynn500 · 1 year

Text

Sid’s cute sister

character ~ billy loomis

Request~no- yes

warnings ~ drugging readers drink, i love to cuss, use of words like slut, whore and cunt, mentions of sex while under the influence, drinking, mention of kidnapping and murder, one night stand, kind of ooc billy and stu? Mention of death.

Word count~ 4728

“God damn it stu!” Billy was quickly getting frustrated, Stu didn't know how to drug a drink and Billy wasn't there to help. “How will we even know it works, there must be a better way to do this” stu’s whining was only pissing Billy off more. “Just put the shit drug in her shit drink!” Billy pulled up to the Prescott house where all the girls waited. “And hurry up, im picking the girls up now” billy quickly hung up before stepping out of the car.

“Oh come on y/n~ tell us who this mystery man is” y/n was panicking, she absolutely could not tell tate and sid that she was crushing hard on billy, sid's boyfriend. It's not like sid would have to worry, billy hates y/n, but it would still put a rift between them and y/n did not want that. “No thank you, i shall keep this man all to myself” y/n joked trying to shake the feeling of guilt. “Hey it's ok, i understand how hard it is to admit who you have a crush on out loud, it makes it real” sidney smiled in a comforting manner, sadly all her words did was make the knife in y/n’s gut twist. “Yeah.. to real” y/n forced a smile, continuing to look through her clothes.

Mr Prescott opened the door smiling warmly at billy. “Ah come in come in” Billy gave a small nod in thanks stepping into the cool house. “Thanks Mr Prescott, are they almost ready” Billy was ready to leave. This plan had to work and for that to happen Stu still had to get his hands on y/n and sid's dad. “I'm sorry to say that i'm not sure, they will come down when they're ready” with that the prescott twins dad left the room. Sid came down first, she was wearing a light blue sweater, a good color to stain red, with some slightly baggy jeans. Tatem was next, there was a lot of light yellow and red, another good outfit to stain red. “Hey Billy,” Sid smiled, giving him a small peck on the cheek. Billy forced himself to wrap his arms around his girlfriend, adding a fake smile to help sell the whole being in love shit. “y/n will be down soon, her heels are giving her some trouble” tatum giggled, billy tuned the girls out after that full attention on the stairs. Finally y/n started to make her way down the stairs. She looked hot, as always, clade in a lilac purple crop sweater, it had a deep v neck showing off y/n’s tits perfectly. She wore a short skirt, matching in color and texture to her top, it was short and Billy had no doubt that if she turned around he would be able to see the bottom of her ass. She paired this with a small lilac checkered purse and mostly transparent heels. “You look like a whore” Billy glared. Watching her smile fall a little broke his heart, he wanted that smile directed at him so bad but he always fucked it up, like now saying the exact opposite of what he was thinking. “Billy” sid scolded him lightly. Billy rolled his eyes unwrapping his arms from around sid, “whatever lets go”

Stu had finally done it, he drugged y/n’s drink. Knowing if it will work was another story, but for now he was proud of himself. He put it with a few other drinks in the fridge, which guests knew was off limits. “Hey man, where can a man get a drink around here?” some jock that was most definitely not invited asked. Stu pointed to the island where all of the drinks sat, how he missed that Stu would never know. Stu did not invite this guy for many reasons, the main one was that he constantly flirted with y/n, which pissed billy right the fuck off. Stu knew this guy would distract Billy, hopefully Billy killed him before the rest of the plan was being filled out. Stu rolled his eyes at the jock before being distracted by someone jumping on his back “were here!” tatum yelled. Stu smiled at y/n while grabbing onto tatum’s thighs, “hey bestie!! i put a few beers in the fridge for you, I know how you hate warm alcohol” y/n smiled going to the fridge. “Thanks bestie” she yelled as she left the room.

It had been about an hour, y/n was on her third drink and reasonably tipsy. She had been dancing with some jock that had been flirting with her since like last year. She always rejected him, cause she really doesn't like him, but he has a reputation for one night stands and a big dick, and that's what she needed right now a one night stand to help forget about Billy standing in the corner with sid. “Hey, i have a key to the guest room, wanna join me~” y/n whispered seductively into the jock she hasn't cared to learn the name of’s ear. “Hell yeah” he smashed his lips onto hers, hands finding her butt instantly, “knew you would give in eventually” he smirked. y/n rolled her eyes, was he trying to kill the mood. She grabbed his hand leading him to the guest room roughly, telling herself she needed this and not to let him ruin it.

Billy was growing angrier by the minute, sid had disappeared somewhere with tatum and with his only distraction gone he got a great view of y/n leading that shit face joke of a guy to the guest room, though it was basically her room at this point. “Dude you look about ready to strangle him” stu chuckled from beside him, billy was more than ready to strangle him, to watch the light leave his eyes but first he needed his name and him alone. “Stu, when mr jock comes down the stairs, send him to the basement, tell him to get something heavy like a keg, make him feel real strong too” Billy smirked.Billy wanted this guy dead, so he's going to die. Stu nodded with a dark smile, “you got it billy”

“That was great” the jock pantad from his spot beside y/n. “Yeah” to be honest the sex was not good, not even a little bit. She never finished and all she could think about was Billy, it was partly her fault but the jock was definitely a selfish lover. The jock also tried his absolute hardest to not use a condom, saying he would pull out, y/n quickly rejected the idea and told him he would use a condom or he wont get to fuck her. The jock got up, grabbing his pants and pulling them up. “The nights still young, you coming back to the party” y/n was honestly exhausted, she had almost fallen asleep during her and the jocks hook up. “Um no i'm going to go to sleep- you go ahead” the jock smirked, he obviously thought he was the reason that y/n was in this state. “Ok, see you monday” he winked before leaving the room.

Finally billy heard the basement door open, the door was locked and only he and Stu had the key, so it had to be the jock. Slowly the annoying man made his way down the stairs mumbling to himself. “ first i fuck y/n and now im the strongest man here! Tonights really my night, now where's that keg” billy was seeing red at the confession to fucking y/n, but he knew he had to be carful with this, there was a whole party upstairs and if the jock got back to it billy was fucked. The jock made his way over to a still very alive and very scared mr prescott, laid out on a table that stu and brought down just for him, “oh what the fuck man” the jock went to turn around, only to come face to face with a masked billy. If everything went to plan tatum was dying right now, and then the jock and then anyone who gets in the way of sids timely death. “actually what the fuck man” the jock tried to run past but billy quickly grabbed his arm driving his knife into the jocks shoulder. The jock screamed in pain, grabbing his shoulder as he fell to the floor. “ how weak,” Billy laughed. The jock tried to crawl away but billy stoped that by sitting on his back, “ah come on, i thought it was your night, fucked a slut~ the strongest!” billy smirked, he was glad that he and stu built the voice changers into their masks, makes it so they can taunt their victims. “Please don't kill me, come on man” the jock cried, struggling to get away. While the jocks begging amused Billy, he had a plan to finish. Billy grabbed the mans hair lifting his head roughly, “think before you fuck my cunt” and with that he slit the jocks throat. Billy smiled, letting the jock's head fall to the dirt floor. “Bye bye bitch”

Billy's side burned as he climbed the stairs in search of y/n. He had a pretty good idea of where she would be, the guest room or stu’s, she often would move from the guest room to her best friends when at a party. Billy checked Stu's room first, no sign of her there, guest room it is. The cops were on their way and he and Stu needed fresh air, but there was no way y/n would not be out there with them. Billy opened the door, blushing at the sight of y/n who was half under the covers, boobs on full display for him. Billy limped over, reaching out to slowly shake y/n “y/n'' Billy shook harder, “mmm billy?” y/n was groggy, not fully waking up. This was evident in the fact that she didn't cover up, “come on get up” Billy started to gather y/n's clothes “what, why?” y/n sat up still not realizing she was showing off her tits, “here get dressed i'll tell you what happend outside” billy didn't want anyone else to see her this way but he made sure to memorize how she looked in this moment, naked, sleepy and oh so beautiful.

y/n was slow and unsteady as she made her way down stairs. The strong iron smell was scaring her, waking her up fully. “Oh my god billy your bleeding” y/n reached to stop him, she wanted to check and make sure he was ok. Billy shrugged her off with an eye roll. “Let's just get outside, I feel like I'm suffocating" Billy continued down the stairs. y/n followed behind him, still unsteady. “Here hold my hand, you're going to fall” Billy took y/n's hand. y/n blushed, letting billy lead her out of the house. “Billy, why is there so much blood?” Billy and Stu spent a few minutes dragging the body’s out of the hallway so that y/n wouldnt see, but there are still puddles of blood on the floors and walls. y/n got distracted from the question when she saw stu, who was sitting on the porch scrunched up and leaning against the railing for support. Stu looked up giving y/n a pained smile. “Hey bestie” y/n sat beside him, letting him lean against her instead of the railing. she was crying, the tears staining her cheeks. “ what happened?” She turned to Billy who was now sitting next to her. “ your dad went fucking psycho, tried to kill everyone.. Were the only ones who survived” this was definitely not what y/n expected, out of everyone in this town the killer was her own dad.. “Oh” y/n turned back to the road. This was a lot to process, she hoped Billy and Stu would understand that.

Billy was getting antsy, y/n had passed back out a few minutes ago. stu was dying, and fast. Billy wanted to help but the most he could do for stu is maybe help put more pressure on his wounds, y/n he couldn't help. Billy was upset, why would the police take this long when a group of teenagers call saying someone is trying to- he hears it now, even so they are required to come check it out right. “Bro.. do you think i put too much in her drink” stu whined, whether from the pain, or him being stu, billy didn't know. Stu had warned Billy he didn't know what he was doing, Billy should have had him wait and put it in himself, or he should have sent Stu to pick the girls up. It's too late for that now though.”it's.. Crossed my mind, she should be fine as long as the paramedics get here” hopefully soon. Billy didn't want to admit he had actual feelings for y/n, while Stu knew he had a small crush, he did not know that Billy felt as though if she died his world would come down with her. When they decided she would be the final girl it was easy, y/n was stu’s ride or die, and billy had a small crush on her, that means that both were happy or somewhat happy she's alive. “Billy, you know now that sids gone… you can admit it's more than a small crush” billy couldn't say he was surprised that stu knew, he was the only person that could read billy perfectly, no matter what billy was thinking stu knew, same with billy for stu. Their parents used to tell them that they were the same person, they could just look at each other and be up to no good. “How'd you figure it out” stu chuckled shaking his head, honestly too tired to actually joke about it “billy when you see y/n, you relax and your face lights up, and you give her this look, that says i'm in love with you, how sidney never found out is a honest mystery to me” billy's rudeness to y/n had masked it pretty well, sid always thought he hated y/n but stu knew, stu always knows.

Stu had definitely put way too much in y/n’s drink, it had almost killed her. It's been three weeks, no one suspected it was them and both Billy and Stu have been released from hospital, they still spend most of their time there, seeing as y/n still hadn't woken up. “Dude!” Stu yelled from across the room, he had just got off the phone with his mom. “What” billy grumbled “oh don't get upset, you can stare at y/n all you want after this, my parents got us all an apartment, told them that the house was to traumatic for me and that i hated being away from you and y/n, plus that gives y/n a place to stay now, seeing as her whole family’s dead” stu shrugged, sometimes billy thought stu was the stupidest person alive, he really just shrugged about y/n’s family's death and didn't think about the fact this is a hospital it has cameras. Billy's only concern about the apartment is that Stu's family would pick, they had already been trying when Stu was looking at apartments near the college he was going to go to. “Are they picking?” stu smiled wider, “nope, we get to pick, trama works well huh” stu chuckled. Billy rolled his eyes, deciding watching y/n sleep was a better time waster then listening to stu.

Bright lights blinded y/n as she woke up from what felt like four weeks worth of sleep. She moaned in discomfort trying to blink the blurriness in her eyes away. Finally being able to see clearly she looked over her right, Billy sat there half asleep and holding her hand. y/n genuinely thought that billy hated her, so why is he here, holding her hand like its his lifeline? “Billy?” her voice was hoarse and she knew Billy just barely heard her. “y/n!” Billy was awake now, he had let go of her hand in the process of sitting up, a large smile splayed across his face. “One sec let me call the nurse, then i'll tell you what happend” y/n remembered what happened, her dad went psycho and killed her friends, and her sister. Billy pressed the button on the end of what looked like an extention cord attached to her bed. “Um, I'm sure you're wondering what happened to you” Billy started, honestly y/n wasn't, so what she slept for a few hours she would be fine. “Apparently someone drugged you.. The doctor found high levels of rohypnol in your system, she said you must have had both your drinks laced with the stuff” y/n was so confused, what even was rohypnol? “The only person- wait no people who could have drugged my drink was stu or that jock, never got his name, but he's been flirting with me all year?” y/n didn't think stu would drug her drink, i mean why would he? So that left the jock, who did have a reason kind of? He did look proud of himself when she was border line passing out. “Well there was a dead jock found in the basement.. So if it was him he got his karma” y/n was unsure about billy joking at a time like this, but it's billy and she gave him a weak smile nonetheless. “Hows stu” y/n was more then concerned for her best friend, she remembered how fucked he was. “Hes ok, he's in a lot of pain but he's been released from the hospital..” y/n let out of sigh of relief, her best friend was ok, she wasn't alone “he's umm he's looking for and apartment so he doesn't have to stay, you know..” y/n nodded, it would be traumatic to ever go there again, most of all for stu and billy. “We were wondering if maybe you.. Would like to stay with us, we know that staying at your house will be hard and expensive” billy seemed to rant, even though his words were calculated and thought out. Living with billy and stu seemed like a good idea, y/n knew staying in her house was a no, she couldn't bear being there without her dad or sister, and while she was still pretty sure billy hated her, stu was her best friend and it might be fun to live with his crazy ass. “Yeah sure, I'll move in with you guys” Billy smiled. Damn the doctor is slow.

Billy was relieved y/n said yes, this was his chance to fix there fucked relationship and maybe even get her to be his. “Hey bills” y/n whispered, the nickname was a shock. Not necessarily cause it came from y/n, she was kind of known for that, it was the nickname itself, he had heard billy, bill, will, even just a simple b, but he had never heard bills, not even once.”hm” he hummed to tell her he was listening. “How are you, you know.. Feeling” billy could tell she was trying to make some sort of small talk, she was trying to be nice and Billy couldn't be happier. “Mentally or physically” Billy was doing fine, Stu went a bit deep but other than that he had no other injuries. And mentally he was great, he got away with murder twice now, and Sidney's dead, now there's nothing stopping him from pursuing y/n. “Both” y/n said quietly, she didn't want to set him off or have him hate her again. Billy took a moment to plan his words, so that they came out in the best way for y/n. “I don't know where to start, i miss sid a lot, it was hard knowing i had broken up with her only for her to die that night..” y/n was shocked at the news of their break up, she thought they were happy. “Physically i'm fine, i got let out on my second day in the hospital, your umm, the killer wasn't able to get me to bad” billy shrugged, with a weak smile, in hopes that would get y/n to believe everything he said.

y/n was absolutely heart broken. Billy pulled up to the old house slowly, “you don't have to come in if you don't want to, me and stu can get all your stuff” Billy put his hand on y/n’s thigh, trying to comfort her. She shook her head, determined to say goodbye to the house, and to grab some of the things her dad kept hidden. “No, it's fine billy i want to go in” billy nodded reluctantly, “ok but if it gets to be to much for you then you come back to the car, or you sit on the porch, just look out for yourself” y/n nodded but billy wasn't convinced, “hey, just- promise you will leave if it becomes to much” y/n couldn't help the smile that started to form, billy seemed to care for her, and it made her happy in a way she couldn't explain. “I promise” Billy nodded, getting out of the car, moving to the trunk to get the boxes. “You ok?” y/n turned to the back where Stu sat patiently waiting for his turn to check in on his best friend. “Yes stu, i might need to hold your hand though” while y/n said it like it was a joke, it wasn't and stu knew that, so he nodded his head with a goofy smile to show he was comfortable with it.

Billy had been checking in on y/n the whole time. He could tell she was having a hard time, seeing her glossy eyes and hearing a sniff every now and then. “y/n, you ok.. Do you want to switch? I can help stu with the bed” billy asked as he shoved another piece of y/ns clothing in the box in front of him. Billy got put on clothes duty, which he was not complaining about since he did undies first, while y/n was taking apart her bed with stu. “Yeah, it's just weird knowing that this is the last time i will be in this house” y/n sighed, stu reached over to rub her back from where he sat. Billy felt bad for making her feel this way, but he felt no regret in killing Sid, or anyone for that matter. “Do you need a break, me or stu could sit out there with you” y/n just shook her head going back to unscrewing the bedpost from the frame.

Finally done, y/n looked back at her door for the last time. “Bye guys” she sniffed, she missed her family, she missed the good days. It was weird that she would never go back in, at least she didn't plan to. It felt like she was just going to stu’s for a movie night and would be coming home in the morning to her dad scolding her for spending the night again, on a school night. “You ready” she jumped, not expecting someone to be beside her. “Yeah, just saying goodbye” she wiped her face of tears, billy nodded with a sad smile. Billy wrapped his arm around her, gently turning her towards the path. “You're being so nice to me why” y/n couldn't stop herself from asking. “What?” y/n sighed at Billy's confused tone. “Your being nice, a-and caring, but i was sure you fucking hated me” y/n knew she should have waited for this conversation, stu was waiting in the car and they stood right outside of her child hood home, but she needed to know if this was a trick, or if he actually cared. “I never hated you?” y/n frowned, how could he say that when he was such a dick, “really? Cause it really felt like you did” she looked down to her shoes, suddenly becoming way more interesting then normal. “What's taking you guys so long” stu called from the car, clearly bored. Billy rolled his eyes, dragging me with him towards that car. “Lets save this conversation for when we get settled in at home” billy whispered in her ear, y/n nodded in agreement.

“Billy?” y/n knocked on his new bedroom door. Billy had been planning what to say to her, he knew this conversation was coming and he was not excited. “How do you tell a girl you love her, after you dated her now dead sister” billy whispered to himself. “One sec” he called out. Standing up from his bed, he realized just how nervous he is. He quickly threw on a white shirt before making long strides over to his door. “Yes?” he asked as he opened the door. “Can we have that conversation now?” y/n continued talking after that, and billy wanted to listen he really did, but her soft frown and glossy eyes distracted him. Billy must really be fucked in the head to think she looked hot like that. “Hey come in, stu’s nosy” y/n chuckled but nodded in agreement before stepping into the room. Billy watched as y/n observed the room. “You really like this band huh” she asked pointing to one of his many nirvana posters, “yeah” y/n smiled “i'll keep that in mind” he smiled ignoring the flutter in his stomach. “So.. you left off saying you never hated me?” Billy sighed nodding. “I really never did” he sat on his desk chair rubbing his face as he thought about what to say. “Then why were you such a dick to me” she walked over standing right infront of him. “I don't know” she laughed sarcastically, “Billy you made me feel like shit, the least you could do is tell me why” she glared. Billy really did not want this to turn into a fight, “Billy why!” he looked up to tears falling down her face. Billy stood up brushing the tears from y/n's face. “Billy.. Answer me please” billy knew he was going to regret this.. He sighed, smashing his lips onto hers. y/n wasn't kissing back, he didn't know if she was shocked or didn't feel the same way, but she wasn't returning the kiss and that scared the shit outta him. Billy frowned as he pulled away looking into her beautiful glassy wide eyes. “I-shit” billy bright his hands up from her face and into his hair, coming through it. “Billy do- do you have feelings for me?”

y/n was ecstatic, billy just kissed her “yeah… i do” she smiled wide, now he was admitting he had feelings for her, how was she supposed to feel. y/n leaned up pressing their lips together in a quick kiss. Billy looked shocked, but y/n couldn't really blame him, she was too shocked to kiss back the first time, and she saw what that did to him, he looked like a kicked puppy. “I have liked you for so long, you don't even want to know.. But you were dating my sister and i thought you hated me, so i pretended the feelings weren't there, i think stu knew though” y/n and billy’s smiles turned to lookes of annoyance when they heard stu yell “i did” from right outside the door. Billy rolled his eyes, smiling at y/n, a smile she now realized only she got to see. He then leaned down, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. Maybe living with billy wont be so bad.

#billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #scream #scream billy #billy loomis x y/n

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lostdrarryfics · 1 month

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lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! July 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of July. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. It was on ao3, 8th year, after the war, very often the writing shifted between draco and harry's POV. Draco and theo were dating (but they breakup in the end so drarry gets together), it's also a bottom draco fic but I can't remember any specific sex scenes. Theo peer pressures draco to do pills-like drugs and latter ron mentions to harry that he saw theo and draco staring at ron weird and laughing in the hallways at night. Their relationship is toxic but I don't remember much about it, draco and harry slowly starts to become friends, it's more or less at the same rhythm as Theo and draco relationship crumbles. I remember there was a point were theo has sex with some other guy to get more drugs and draco gets upset because he was cheating but then theo says that the other guy raped him and draco is not supposed to tell anyone because he could get in trouble and harry is secretly listening to the most part of the discussion and in his head he starts to question why would nott get in trouble if he was the victim but ultimately doesn't do/say anything about it. Theo gets addicted to those drugs but I can't remember if draco get as well or not. I can't recall if someone harasses draco for being a ex death eater but the students definitely look at him, and other slytherins, differently and most of them get excluded from the rest of the school despite the majority being innocent or too young to have done anything

2. harry and draco I think were already together. But Hermione liked draco and tried to steal him from harry and either used a love potion or gave him a cookie which made him fall in love with her. Some maybe key points I remember are: Harry was thinking and out of space not listening to ron and hermione fighting, when they finally got his attention ron told him about how Hermione thought it was ok for her to flirt with draco even in front of harry. Then at some point draco came up to the three and as he left hermione kisses him on the cheek in front of harry. I read the story on Wattpad in like 2020/2021 and Im pretty sure it had chapters.

3. harry has an owl service or some delivery food service like ubereats, postmates, deliveroo and once he learned who the order was for, Harry was going to give Draco Malfoy a piece of his mind for such a request for late delivery. “ugh pure bloods and their wealth”. then unexpectedly the wards let Harry in, and then he was face to face with Draco. now I will be honest, the role of Harry and Draco could be reversed, but I don’t think so? It may feature a young Scorpius Malfoy or Teddy Lupin. rating: explicit / mature? last remember reading it on ao3. One shot, completed. Maybe apart of Harry/Draco Owlpost Fest? tags: post-war, not canon compliant?, owl, owlpost, delivery, malfoy manor, grimmauld place, order, baked goods, food service. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: about 10K words

4. i’m pretty sure in this fic harry is this well known baker/pastry chef in the wizarding world, and him and draco become friends and soon start dating. draco falls in love with harry’s sweet desserts which harry claims has a “special ingredient” which he won’t tell draco until the end. that’s when they meet in harry’s pantry/bakeshop and draco soon learns harry methods to creating such desserts, especially when harry uses his magic literally and metaphorically to create a huge order for a Ministry event which make draco falls deeper for him and his special filling especially when they go to the eat and eat his home made desserts. rating: explicit / nc-17. last I remember reading it on ao3. May be apart of a Drarry fest including: H/D Erised or Food Fair or Owlpost. From 2020-present maybe? tags: post war, not canon compliant, bakery, baker, pastry chef harry, coffee shop, coffee, post hogwarts/ harry potter epilogue what epilogue, frosting, icing, innuendos, pwp, cake, batter word count, filling, cream, crème, food, euphemisms. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: 10K-20K words

5. fic I read a couple months ago. I found that fic at AO3, it's a multiple chapter (I don't remember the exact number of chapters). Main couple is Drarry. The fic is not magical au, I think Harry is a university student(?) and such an extrovert slight flirty person, but he only has Hermione as his friend. Btw, in that fic, Hermione is having an affair with Remus (their professor). Harry is crushing over Draco (Draco's not a university student), he's often goes to the campus to pick up Astoria, his girlfriend at that time. One day, Astoria invite Harry to her house in order to spice up her bed activity with Draco. At first, Draco is so shocked and offended(?) with Harry's presence (Draco has a idk what to call it, i guess internalized homophobic(??) caused by his father action). But then, slowly, Draco become more intrigued to Harry. Harry also realized that Draco is not the same as what Draco show in the outside, Harry knows that Draco hide his dom side(?) to look so calm, collected, chill, and so on). I think it's save to say that there are some infidelity at that fic but at the end Draco ends his relationship with Astoria first before officially start a new one with Harry. Oh, and Astoria is kind of regret her choice introducing Harry to Draco because she kind of sad to lose Draco, but no hard feeling tho.

6. the first few chapters are poems. Draco was fleeing to the muggle world or something and Harry captured him. Harry is also an Alpha and he mated with Draco forcefully, I think in this world if one of them dies then the one mated with you can be dead too. Thank you so much, it’s on AO3 but I can’t find it.

7. looking for a fic where Draco works as a mailman or something and he plays chess with one of the elderly lady in a wizarding nursing home. The lady also gives him tips but it embarrasses him but he accepts out of necessity. Harry is an auror and a newly turned werewolf and he cannot control himself around Draco like I remember that he keeps sniffing him while they were near an elevator. I've reread this fic but I can't seem to remember the title!

8. looking for a fic i only read the synopsis for (i swear i saved it but i cant find it now) basically draco writes a letter to harry saying "I'm going to kill you" but harry misreads it as "im going to kiss you"

9. fic on ao3, it was about Draco being like a sex slave for the deatheaters, and he was held up in chains and perceiving a lot less of his surroundings due to him trying to not feel anything. The plot of the war was different, and Harry and Ron were using polyjuice to get inside the manor, then they found Draco and were surprised, but Ron did like a gesture that he would also r4pe Draco (like unzipping his pants or something) and Harry stopped him, I think Harry said to Draco that he was gonna try to set him free when they could and Draco stayed there while watching them go. I'm not sure about that last part, and I do not remember much more or maybe even he wasn't free at all at the end

10. what I remember is that Draco was held in a room at Order headquarters, I remember several members tried to visit him for questioning, including Harry. But Draco didn't reveal anything at all. Then there is a scene where Harry comes in and tells him that Lucius Malfoy is dead, Harry shows the ring as proof that he is not mistaken

11. I could be mixing up two fics. I'm pretty sure it was on AO3. It was a 4th year AU, where I believe Harry and Draco were already dating when the Tournament happened. One scene that I remember clearly is that when Harry has to do that wand thing for the tournament, his wand just doesn't want to be used by Ollivander, so it hits Ollivander in the head. Also I think that Harry and the other champions get along pretty well and ARE working together. So much so that I think that they all agree that they just don't really wanna be a part of the tournament and then they train together and everything. And if I'm not mistaken, for the second task they all decide to use a boat? To get to the Merfolk village and then just dive and get their hostage. And for the third task they were just planning on get inside the maze and do a picnic?

#monthly roundup #lost fic #drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic search #drarry squad

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augustrambles · 1 year

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Could you do a platonic main four and male reader? Probably trying to convince you to join a scheme of theres when you’re hesitant to leave the house, even though you want to participate

a/n: ty 4 requesting!! woohoo male reader❗

male!reader x main four

warnings: underage drinking and use of drugs, smoking, he/him prns

currently, [name] was on videocall with his friends.

"i dont know about this, y'all know how bebe's parties are, you guys are probably going to end up wasted."

"c'mon [name], dont be a pussy like cartman is!"

"fuck you stupid jew!"

"mfm mphrhm hmprh mphr"

"well yeah, but what if i get caught?"

"[name], you are not going to get caught, fucks sake! we've done this more than once so stop being such a pussy, man up, and go with us, UNLESS you wanna be a loser."

"fuck you cartman, but fine ill go then"

"woohoo!"

"we can have a, quote on quote, sleepover at my place so your parents think you're at my house."

"yeah, that'll work"

"kay, talk to yall later."

the videocall ended and [name] placed his phone on the night desk. he was slightly worried about getting caught, but he decided to ignore the feeling.

"hey mom, i'm going to stay over at stan's house tonight, ok?" he said to his mother as she nodded. "alright hun! make sure to come back at nine tomorrow!" she yelled back as he let out a "mhm"

he left the house and began walking, scrolling on his phone. him and stan were sort of close, not neighbours, but on the same street, so it wasn't a long walk.

knock, the sound of one was heard. he waited for a few seconds until he was greeted by stanley. "hey man!" stan said, fistbumping [name]. "kyle's already here, kenny and cartman are on their way." he informed

"alright, that's fine." [name] said, he walked to kyle as they started a conversation, stan joining in aswell. it was around 8pm. "question, when's the party starting?" [name] asked

"i think at 9, cartman and kenny better hurry their asses." kyle replied, resulting laughs from the other two boys due to his remark. at that moment, a knock was heard. "i'll get it." stan reassured

he walked up and it was cartman and kenny, they came to the house together. "speak of the devil" kyle said as he and [name] walked up the door. the 5 boys now left stan's house walking to where the party was being held at, bebe's house

they made conversation, about diverse topics such as school drama, celebrities, and the small fight between cartman and kyle here and there. the usual, basically.

"hey, we're here" kenny said, pointing to the house who you could literally hear music blasting. it was quite obvious there was a party there. the boys went up the door, kyle knocking. it was opened by a half drunk bebe.

"hheeeyy.. weelccome! ccome inn." she said, obviously dozing off of whatever type of alcohol she was drinking. cartman and kyle went first, then kenny, then [name] and stan.

the party was absolutely wild, there was strong smells of alcohol, smoke and drugs. [name] went up to clyde and craig, seperating from the group. craig seemed to be drunk, but clyde was wasted. "dude!! you're here, hey!" clyde said, before being dragged away by some girls playing truth or dare.

[name] looked at craig. "i didnt know you drink" he said to him, craig shrugged. "i dont, im just drinking today for fun." he replied, taking a sip from his beer. "wheres tweek? didnt he come?" [name] asked.

"he did, but he got too shaky because of all the noise and left. i wanted to acompany him home, but then he said something along the lines 'no, i want you to have fun' so here i am."

"i dont think you were supposed to take that literally, but alright"

[name] then walked away from craig, going to his previous group of friends. stan and kenny were both drinking, not drunk, since they barely had a few sips, but i dont think it'll stay like that until the end of the night. cartman was eating chips, which nobody else was eating. kyle was just there, not drinking or eating, just there, probably finding something to do.

"hey dude, you want a sip?" stan offered, [name] seemed to be hesitant at first but nodded. stan gave him a can of beer, it tasted.. good? surprisingly.

the night passed and not much changed.

except that [name] was fucking drunk as hell.

"[name], a-are you sure you dont want water?" butters asked, clearly being concerned for the man's health being. "naaahh, im okayy, thfank you" he said, body almost falling over. he was walking towards kyle and stan, wanting to join the karaoke, but then he bumped into a familiar girl,

wendy testaburger.

they bumped into eachother, "ew. you fucking smell like a skunk" she said as the room went quiet for the first time that night. "well fuck you, you smell like a wet dog at gym every day but you dont see me saying shit. keep it to yourself" [name] responded, clearly offended.

"pfft- i know YOU arent talking. you smell like you pissed yourself since first grade" she remarked, getting a few ooh's by the crowd. "that may be the case, but at least people like me. wasnt your ex so tired of you he used chat gpt to talk to you? lmaoo"

stan looked to the wall, trying to stuff in his laugh as kyle was giggling for everyone to hear, with the others. "BAHAHAHHAHA" was cartman's loud ass laugh, of course, there was also laughs across the room.

"oh fuck you" she said, heading towards him. she had a grin on her face. "cmon wendy, you know im joking" he said, laughing. "yea yea, go ahead drink some more you whore" she rolled her eyes in a sarcastic way as [name] followed her.

they always had very offensive fights like the one that just happened right now, but they always giggled or laughed it off. seems like a toxic relationship, but hey, this is south park, what ISNT toxic..

stan walked to [name] who had just left wendy with bebe, "dude you're gonna get in trouble if you continue fighting like that with wendy" he said, the two boys walking over to their group of friends. "hey, calm down, me and wendy are super close, doubt she would beat me up like she did to someone in here.. cough cough cartman cough." [name] said, receiving a giggle from kenny, stan and kyle and a deathstare by cartman. "shut up (insert insult)"

"alright man, just warnin you." stan said, taking another sip of the drink in his hand. [name] went to serve himself another cup of his drink, leaving the others alone.

"hey kyle, what hour is it?" kenny looked at kyle, who was on his phone. kyle was mostly on his phone at that party, mostly there because of his friends. "its 11:43" he said, replying to kenny. kenny simply nodded, "its early" he said.

stan called kenny, "hey dude, isnt that one of the girls you slept with??" he pointed to a white girl with pink highlights. "oh shit, it is, imma be right back yall" he said, going to the girl without looking back. "hes defintely not gonna be right back.." cartman rolled his eyes, continuing to eat.

"where the hell did [name] go" kyle asked and stan responding with "he went to get a drink, pretty sure" he looked into the kitchen, not seeing anyone there. "yeah, but he isnt at the bar or the kitchen" kyle noted

"maybe if we're lucky he got kidnapped" "oh shut up fatass" kyle punched cartman on the arm. "hey! dont tell me to shut up you stupid jew" he 'hmph'-ed at the jew

"ehh, hes probably coming back soon anyway" stan said, deciding not to worry about it. "yo kyle, you wanna go karaoke again? theyre making a competition now" stan asked kyle and he nodded, putting his phone in his pocket. "hope you lose" cartman said.

. . .

"its 3:40, we should probably get going now" kyle said, as the party was already more empty than before and less chaotic, plus [name] had arrived, and they were all now waiting for kenny. "yeah, but i am NOT carrying nobody, ok?" cartman said, giving an side eye to a drunken passed out stan next to him.

"not like your fatass could anyway" kyle rolled his eyes. "oh shut the fuck up" cartman said. at that moment, kenny had arrived, zipping back his parka, and covering his head. "dude, i love girls"

kenny said, an insipirational moment. "wow, i wouldve never guessed." [name] said, rolling his eyes. "but we should for real get going now, i'll carry stan." he said. "no, its fine, ill carry him" kyle said, already picking the passed out boy already. [name] shrugged with a 'if-you-say-so' look on his face

they all started to walk back to stan's house, kenny mentioning how good that sex was, [name] talking about how they met someone there who gave them a bit of smoke, cartman complimenting the food and karaoke.

"dude, you cant say the n word in karaoke.." [name] said, looking at cartman seriously. "oh cmon, it was a song, i didnt mean it in that way."

"cartman, you were singing call me maybe."

. . . ( that was a reference btw )

stan was lying in his bed, still passed out, as the other boys were currently lying in their sleeping bed. "goodnight yall" [name] said as the others whispered goodnight aswell.

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maespri · 11 months

Text

collection of my favorite moments from watching leigh whannell, james wan & cary elwes' commentary on saw (2004)

this post is long as hell but by god did i get a lot of laughs out of watching it i had to write everything down

cary (referring to opening title card): that was a beautiful font- how did you decide on that font, james? james: we put a bunch of fonts on the wall and threw darts

cary: there it is. this is one of the best openings of all time james: who says that cary: me

cary (referring to adam getting out of the bathtub): well it’s great. there you are, flopping onto the ground like a fish.

leigh: if i had opted to sleep in the bathroom every night, would you have done the same just to be my brother in method acting? cary: not a chance leigh (sadly): ok cary: i don’t care, you can call me what you want- leigh: and i have on several occasions-

cary: here’s adam listening to the tape now leigh: ah yes, the look on his face of… something james: this was me giving leigh instructions. i was saying to him, “leigh, now… (laughter) what i want you to do is act the way you did when i first told you what your prospects were as an actor. i want that same look of… despair” leigh (laughing): that same look of DREAD (laughter from all three)

cary: i gotta tell you leigh, even though we’re friends- james: you suck! cary (laughing): you suck! no, no. you did a really great role. it was a really great performance, i was really impressed leigh: thank you. i would say to you, there’s obviously room for improvement, but you- y'know (jokingly) if you keep going the way you’re going, you’ll be a fine actor one day cary (solemnly): thank you

leigh (talking to cary): i remember mocking you on several lines. you’d be like ‘give me the tape,’ and i’d be like ‘gIvE mE tHe tApE’

james: saw is the best comedy i’ve ever made

cary: no but you gotta figure- we’re trapped in this little room where they’ve sealed us off, and… we were stuck in there for seven days, and if you didn’t get along in that little space, man, it was gonna be a long, long, shoot leigh: and it was (laughter)

james: saw was never about just killing people in cool ways cary: well that’s part of it

cary: i remember seeing [the reverse bear trap] when you guys sent this little dvd to me, and i thought right away, “you two have to be the most twisted people ever to come up with this concept.” and THIS? [referring to billy] the doll- WHICH YOU MADE! james: i made it in my bedroom. this is what i do in my spare time. leigh: it’s quite scary actually. you go over to james’ house and as you approach his house you just see like a light sparking in the window like a mad scientist, and a scarecrow in the front- cary: and the scarecrow is just him in disguise (laughter)

james: but no, we’re not really this twisted in real life cary: that’s what was amazing, i met you guys in real life and you were so… so boring

cary: who was operating billy anyway james: i was cary: you weren’t letting anyone else touch that doll james: yeah man, only i get to stick my hand up that dolls butt

leigh: i called this doctor and said, “so im writing a script- what drug is there that you can inject someone with and they wouldn’t be able to move but they can still feel pain?” and this doctor’s like “…what’s this for?” (laughter) and im like “it’s for a script i’m writing” and he’s like, “riiiight…”

cary (talking about makenzie, who plays diana): do you remember off-camera where she had to cry for about 2-3 minutes and she… she just went into a place james: she just found a place and she went there cary: and i thought, “how old is she, six? what six year old can do that?!” james: i turn to leigh, and im like, “look at her, man! you should be taking lessons!” leigh: i actually saw cary with her in the corner one day and i was like, “isn’t that sweet- cary, the more mature, more experienced actor is giving makenzie advice," and when i got closer i heard cary asking, ‘how do you do it?!’” (laughter)

cary: i should point out, by the way- james wasn’t even sitting in a chair for the first few days of the shoot, like for about a week leigh: he couldn’t reach. those chairs are so high. (laughter) james: NO- leigh: he was like, “somebody get me an apple box!” cary: i just kept thinking, “my god, get this man a CHAIR!” james (joking): well my producer said to me, “if we get you a chair, that’s gonna break the budget” (even more laughter) james (continuing to quote producer): “we can’t afford a chair, james. what the fuck do you think this is? this is not a hollywood film!”

cary (seeing the pig mask on a table): there’s the famous pig head… which i don’t remember seeing in this version leigh: you were ASLEEP by this stage of the sundance screening (laughter) leigh: i had to keep nudging you like, ‘cary… the films still going, cary…’

leigh: and like any good villain, jigsaw smokes out his lair with fog and beautifully placed lights

cary: where did jigsaw go to school to learn these incredible talents? james: arch-nemesis school

leigh: certainly when people watch saw the first thing they think of is italian renaissance art cary (referring to the scene of adam pretending to die of blood poisoning): or really renaissance acting in this scene (laughter)

cary: and we find out here when adam gets zapped that they’ve got us on some... electrical wiring system... leigh: don’t go into it too much, cary, it’s best not to (laughter) leigh: just- of course it’s electrified, why wouldn’t it be? james: just do what i do and kind of glaze over it...

lawrence (in the film): oh, stop acting leigh: i’ve always thought that moment with cary was a slip into reality where cary goes, “stop acting!” (laughter)

leigh: certainly, i mean, when you make a film, you... you have to account for the unintelligent people out there, and i think we kept that in mind (laughter) cary: what do you mean by that leigh? leigh: well- i- james: that was spoken by LEIGH WHANNELL, he lives at THIS ADDRESS-

james (talking about billy in adams apartment): the doll actually wasn’t meant to be in this scene, but i remember when we sent the script to the producer, he goes, “we need more doll,” and this was the only scene i could think of sticking him in cary: and billy was available, wasn’t he? yeah… (laughter) leigh: after fierce negotiations with his agent, we managed to get him

cary: do you wanna tell people where you came up with the idea for the pig mask? james: cary, that’s just another one of my fetishes that i don’t wanna get into right now

leigh (making fun of adam): the only surveillance photographer in the world that uses a flash leigh: he’s had two private hire-ers fire him

(after a pause of silence) leigh (quietly): i think my favorite line in the film is coming up cary (thoughtfully): i like this scene here james: are we actually watching the film now??

leigh: this is actually a line i repeated lawrence (in the film): he’s a bottom-feeder, just like you leigh: that line- i went (mockingly), “hE’s a bOtToM fEeDeR, jUsT lIkE mE?” and i thought, ‘that’s gonna be great, that’s gonna make the final cut’ cary: (losing it laughing) james: yeah that was the first thing i cut out

leigh: james would hold a- i think it was a prop gun- to my head and say, “act, you bastard, act!”

leigh: a lot of people ask why lawrence didn’t take his shirt off to reach the cell phone in this scene, and james’s response to that is… james: james: thanks for that, leigh (leigh & cary laughing) james: just throw the spotlight on me, sure…

leigh: a lot of people ask why they didn’t just shoot the chain or shoot the lock with the gun, and um… leigh: leigh: well to that i say you’ve stumped me

leigh: this punch that you’re about to see actually accidentally hit [zep's actor]. i felt so bad. cary: ow- did you really hit him? leigh: yeah! cary: oh, brother- leigh (joking): and then toilet lid, too! i just kept getting him in the head! that’s real blood! (laughter)

james: do you know that i went online, cary, and i found some great saw fan sites, and one of them had a link to a site that was filled with all this saw fanfiction. people who had written stories about saw- cary: no, you’re joking- james: -and one of them was about- from your character's point of view, after he crawled out of the bathroom… was about three pages of just this inner monologue going, ‘oh god. my foot’s missing. what do i do now.’ (laughter) james: it was great stuff

#saw 2004 #adam faulkner stanheight #saw movies #leigh whannell

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rowaelinsdaughter · 7 months

Note

Do you think you can write Lidia x reader and add some tension and angst (but happy ending)

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

a/n;; i liked the idea and i had it since i first read your ask and i tried to make it angst angst angst and happy ending and i think ive done a good work because i like how it turned out. thank u for the ask. love uuuuuu

WARNINGS;; drugs, hurt, angst, s3xual ass-ult mention, reader "cheats" one lidia (not true, people are assholes)

a buzz woke her up.

her phone was ringing. no ringing, buzzing.

she blinked slowly, the sun illuminating every corner of their room.

no. no their room.

she was in a stranger's room. and she was naked.

a male was on the other side of the bed, sleeping and snoring loudly, not caring who was at his side. her head hurt, and the last thing she knew was that she was at a club with bryce, ruhn and hunt having some fun. what has she done? and the most important thing… what was she going to say to her mate? her entire body hurt, and she had some marks on her body.

she looked for her clothes and when she was dressed she made her way to their house. anxiety crept through her body, she was an awful person. she opened the door and made her way to the living room and found lidia watching the street through the window.

“hi ba-” she sniffed. her scent was mixed with alcohol and the male's scent. she was going to throw up.

“what have you done?”

“i… i don't know”

“you don't know? you scent is mixed with another male.” lidia’s voice was filled with hurt. betrayal. anger.

“babe, please, listen to me, i dont know what happened”

“no, i think you know perfectly what happened, but you won't tell me. and i want you to tell me the truth… have you slept with another person?”

she breathed in and out twice. that’s it. that was the end. “i did it”

lidia started to cry.

“how could you? how could you do that to me?” she said loudly

“babe please, let me explain-”

“no. i dont want to hear nothing from you right now” lidia went to their room, slamming the door behind her.

she fell to her knees.

4 days after the event, she felt sick. mentally and physically.

she knew lidia ate because when she went to the kitchen the dishes were clean. lidia didn’t look at her or talk to her, she acted as if she was alone. she deserved it, after all, she was the one who cheated on her.

she was in the kitchen trying to eat something, but she couldn't eat. she had been throwing up for 3 days straight, the dizziness from the alcohol was gone hours after the argument and her bones hurt like hell.

she took the pan and some meat for lunch. she knew lidia had already eaten, so she tried to make something. and she felt it then.

her vision started to blur, her balance was off and her heartbeat was slow, her breathing also slow.

she fell to the ground. glass shattering around her and the last thing she heard… was lidia screaming her name.

she was at the hospital.

she didn’t need to open her eyes to know it, the smell of medicine and the sound of the machine she was attached to was enough, but there was something on her bed. a weight crushing her arm. maybe bryce was here or ruhn but the scent was familiar, she knew the scent. it was mixed with hers, wrapped around her like a second skin, a warm coat for her heart.

lidia.

her eyes were heavy, but she managed to open them. how many days has she spent there? or hours. lidia was sleeping on her arm, her hand wrapped around hers. as if sensing her, lidia awoke, dark bags under her eyes, hair messy and face a little pale.

“how are you? are you ok? you need anything?” lidia rumbled.

“no… what happened”

she swallowed “you passed out in the kitchen, your heartbeat was fading, i called and they brought you here, they made you some tests and…” a tear fell from her eyes “apparently they gave you a drug mixed with the alcohol and they found evidence of…” a sob broke through her and she cried more “im sorry babe”

“lidia, don't please. you dont have to apologize. it wasn't your fault”

“yes it was. i should have listened to you and i should have seen that you were sick”

“come here” she moved aside so lidia could lay down beside her. lidia laid her head on her chest and she stroked her hair. a little while passed and lidia was relaxed, she thought she was sleeping but lidia took her face with her hands and kissed her lovely, passionately.

she moved away from lidia, but not too far. she didn't want to be far from her again.

“i love you lidia” she smiled “i know, i love you too”

they kissed again and the world fade out around them.

tagging;; @thehighladywrites @shadowdaddies @loneliestluvr @danikamariewrites @throneofsapphics

#sjm books #sarah j maas #fanfic #crescent city #crescent city x reader #cc hofas #hofas #cc3 #cc3 hofas #lidia cervos #lidia x reader #lidia cervos x reader #lidia cervos fic #cc x reader #sjm universe #maasverse #sjm multiverse #sjm fanfic

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