#ok im gonna try to stop pity partying thru a break
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i hate how i feel doing or not doing certain stuff for/because of the pain + fatigue since im a fat person :///
#p#id feel double standard-y shame (my favvvvv) abt it anyway#but its like. i took the elevator up to the break room just now n it always feels like everyones watching me do it#n judging or smth. like ya im also not in shape n thats like my fault etc n that would help these things be easier too#like especially on days ive worked i dont wanna go w ppl walkin the dog cuz im in a lotta pain#n w all of this i feel like a lazy piece of shittt which. like i said..id never think abt anyone else#even another person who isnt thin#or in shape etc#anyway. on lunch break now when theres lots to do (we have more ppl now at least tho)#n i feel like im such a loser cuz i rly needed to sit+rest n eat#also for my brain cuz i get overwhelmed n weird anyway but. -___- i gotta get over itttt fuck offfffff#i feel enough dumb bad stuff abt not doing 'Enough' but adding this makes it feel worse bleh#im big into shame idk !#working (sorta. its not rly working akdhdj) on not feeling negative n bad abt the word fat#i wouldnt randomly call someone that irl or anything#but i know ppl on here are wanting it to be more normalized n that its not an inherently bad thing/word#but. :(((#not another good word for it so yknow w/e#ok im gonna try to stop pity partying thru a break#especially when ill have less than an hourrrrr after this yay
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