#ok so I have three more pics that were supposed to be posted today but drawing is damn near impossible in this house come the holidays

[the-musical-cc]

Your lips are warm, my head is light Were we alive before tonight...?

[szopenhauer]

What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about? I won’t even have kids...

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc. 

Do you like sunglasses? it’s complicated Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? sorta, sometimes Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? what isn’t...

What is your favourite glass to drink from? prefer a mug When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? they were born in Poland where we still live What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from? 14.42 Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s? 60s  Is the computer your only current light source? window/sun too Do you think you look good with a hat on? I’m ugly no matter what so...

Do you have anyone you fully trust? not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others  When did you last talk on the phone with someone? yesterday with M.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? kinda When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? mom, this day Was the last movie you watched a horror film? noooo Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload Do you handle pain well? been told  Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though Do you enjoy your hairstyle? not really atm but it’s not the worst How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? none, ever Do you have a leather jacket? fake

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I’ve already heard everything I suppose... Do you write on your hands a lot? not anymore Do you think hugs are awkward? often Ever play Angry Birds? flappy bird only How late did you stay up last night? till mornin’ Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? mhm Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh Is there a place you’d rather live right now? on my own... Do you go out often? lately Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? my current partner, I don’t deserve her If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I’m not reading anything Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job How many scarves do you own, if any at all? uh oh :x

What is one way in which this year is different from last year? where should I start... Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? for me it is too hard Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? probably What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything  Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić Who’s death has affected you the most? my brother’s Have you ever grown sunflowers? they didn’t turn out well Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? no idea What is your doctor’s first name? which one?

Do you hate political posts on facebook? when there’s plenty, especially wrong  How many pictures do you have stored on your computer? omg  Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid? hard to tell Have you ever had a camera that took film? we had when I was still a kid Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself? disgusting Have you ever had a hot flash? common Are you ok? my heart hurts badly Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses? black If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section? absolutely If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section? I’m a woman What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”? religious person lmfao How many pullover hoodies do you own? bunch Which do you take more: videos or photos? pics What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening? my imagination is vivid What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger? for example - Ada and Adrianna What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I disagree Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out? I don’t own any

If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? on my phone, not computer What do you smell right now? luckily nothing much If you were an instrument, what would you be? smth annoying? Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color boring Does your house have a doorbell? of course Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? my classmate  If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it? mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one  What’s your most hated commercial to watch? most of them are shit What was the last thing you charged? cellphone When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth) Favorite farm animal? chicken What’s your favorite name that begins with B? I don’t like polish names starting on B letter If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk? why not Do you enjoy having time to yourself? :3 Can you do a cart wheel? still but crappy Do you like Ed Sheeran? blergh Would you rather become an author or teacher? author How many people are you currently texting? just 1 This time tomorrow, what will you be doing? hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? money Have you ever been inside a recording studio? I have not Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune? Neptune Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave? very Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident? my sister did Do you like quotes about love or life better? love is part of life What color is your garage? not applicable Do you like it when people give you compliments? they’re lying Was your hair straight today? my hair is wavy Do you ever share things on Facebook? quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM? am What color was your swim suit this year? bluish Do ladders scare you? I’m cautious

1 through 10, how would you rate your day? low Any specific reason why? how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things

Salt or pepper? salt If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see? bag Did you use swear words today? sigh... What did you buy today? food

If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose? dead or alive? Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? dog is domestic ;)

Do you think people under fourteen should have sex? hell no How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage? 20+ What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t? my interests? Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? just my teeth, fingers or eyes Do you like gore? no thx Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead? neck :P Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you? someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words Where is your biological mother at the moment? kitchen Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands? ... Do you have any annoying siblings? she indeed annoys me  How many people are in your immediate family? I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family Would you say you have good or bad luck? bad Do you like your laugh? uh... Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end? because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry What are your plans for the rest of the day? we’ll see

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? ... buttons? not zipper?... What does your last text say? it was the link to the article

Do you ever think about the past? I’m nostalgic and an overthinker Is math your favorite part of school? even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yesterday  You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?! Do you regret any of your relationships? yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda Whats the last taste in your mouth? stomach acid :(

What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc) *shrug* What was the last thing you felt disappointed by? my very own self Do you play games on your phone? nothing else but Choices Do you have music on your cellphone? spotify Name three black things that you can see? necklace, cellphone, calculator Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names? I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her  Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid? dad’s Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Marilyn Monroe forever anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped) for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<  would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing? dishes

[caatws]

tagged by @justanalto to answer some questions !! :)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? it’s like a blueish/greenish color and has moana on it! i usually comb my hair so i bought that brush just bc it was moana themed a few years ago lol. i don’t use it often

2. Name a food you never eat. there are many.....#justchildhoodocdthings ermmmm i don’t eat a lot of snack foods like chips or goldfish

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? too warm, esp these days bc the weather is hella warming up so i wake up feeling hot a lot

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was working on some post-grad work stuff and then crossed over into my roommates’ room to watch the facebook livestream graduation 2020 thing cuz miley was on singing the climb

5. What is your favorite candy bar? i love a good hershey’s special dark chocolate moment

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes, quite a lot actually! my mom is super into sports, so i grew up going to a handful of pro sports games - mlb, nba, and nhl. never nfl tho bc my mom said the price of tix wasn’t worth it LMAOOOO. also when the olympics are here in la in like 8 years i wouldn’t mind checking out some events here !!

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i asked my roommate if she wanted me to close the door as i was leaving her room bc she was abt to hop on a zoom call

8. What is your favorite ice cream? chocolate.....esp if it’s dark chocolate which is Rare

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? starbucks peppermint hot chocolate bc i’m a basic bitch!!!!

10. Do you like your wallet? yeah, i only upgraded from my middle school wallet like back in 2018 to a normal adult looking one. it’s purple and has enough pockets for all my shit! still bulky tho

11. What was the last thing you ate? ....nothing LMFAOOOO lunch is usually my first meal of the day and i haven’t had it yet. but last night i had ramen for dinner

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? last time i bought clothes was i ordered one of the black widow hoodies from hot topic like a month ago....other than that i have not gone clothes shopping since pre-quarantine

13. The last sporting event you watched? i don’t even know....i didn’t watch the super bowl, so it’d either be some time my roommate was watching hockey on our tv or whatever sports my mom was watching when i was still home for winter break in january

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? KETTLE CORN!!!!

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? i sent a pic of miley singing the climb on the fb livestream on my friend’s laptop to my fam being like “lol miley is our commencement performer!!!!” and my mom was just like cool

16. Ever go camping? yes unfortunately....never for more than a night at a time tho bc i literally Cannot

17. Do you take vitamins? no bc what is Health

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? used to back in the days of catholic school (pre college), but now no longer

19. Do you have a tan? nah bc we can’t go outside bro

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food 100% i personally think pizza is overrated

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? i don’t believe i ever do tbh

22. What color socks do you usually wear? i only own socks with colorful patterns/designs on them which is extra but very me i suppose

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? always! (a reasonable amount over tho, like within 5-10 mph over...this is average for californians, while many others speed hella)

24. What terrifies you? not a fan of heights nor uncertainty, and this pandemic has essentially destroyed my post grad hopes/plans and now i enter an uncertain future

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my bed, with a lot of stuff piled on top

26. What chore do you hate? all of them???? i guess doing the dishes mostly tho bc i hate the smell of wet dishes with food waste/residue on them and it just feels so gross i can’t

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i think wow australia sounds like a wild country

28. What’s your favorite soda? orange soda 4ever

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru if i can !!! but i don’t mind going in if there’s ample parking available

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate, when i asked if she wanted me to close the door LMAO

31. Favorite cut of beef? all of them????? i’m not picky with meat dsflkbn

32. Last song you listened to? as i was driving back into my garage the radio station i was listening to started playing sugar we’re going down which threw me for a time loop

33. Last book you read? i’ve been reading fanfic mostly recently so ig whatever the last thing i read for my internship weeks ago was, it would be that

34. Favorite day of the week? even tho time doesn’t matter in quarantine, i’ll always be a friday stan

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i used to be decent at it but i’m out of practice now. i’ll try to just type it rly quickly and see: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba (ok so this took me like 5ish secs to type so that’s p good!)

36. How do you like your coffee? i don’t! i just drink peppermint hot chocolate :^)

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens, but they are now out of season for most of the rest of the year bc i live in southern california where it’s Hawt so i probs won’t wear them again til december

38. The time you normally go to sleep? sometime between 1 and 3 am

39. The time you normally get up? sometime between 9 and 11 am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets are dope!!!

41. How many blankets on your bed? three, including my sheet, comforter, and a small quilt

42. Describe your kitchen plates. some are just round and plain white, some are round and white with a red decorative border, one is a pokémon plate meant for children that i bought cheap at target

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? piña colada!!! but if i’m trying to get drunk i need vodka or somethin

44. Do you play cards? not much tbh! my apartment has been on a mahjong streak as of late

45. What color is your car? silver!!

46. Can you change a tire? no i’m useless but also my parents believe i’ll get murdered if stuck on the side of the road (which is possible) so they’d prefer me to call aaa for help

47. Your favorite province? uhhhhhhh no provinces here in the u.s. but canada has provinces and i went to british columbia (to visit vancouver) once as a kid so???? if we talking states tho y’all know i will die for california

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? honestly my job at my school’s mail center this past year was rly cool! my boss was so great and the other student workers were chill, so it was a nice environment and i enjoyed learning all these mail-related skills

49. How did you get your biggest scar? i have no scars ;))))

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i had my final appointment with my therapist from my school since i graduated, so i thanked him for working with me the past year and a half!

i tag: anyone who wants to do this, i’m lazyyyyy hehe so feel free to steal!!!! i wanna read y’all’s answers

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 2 reaction

Skam France is really leveling up

Eliott Demaury, raccoon enthusiast is the best creative decision they’ve ever made

Episode 2

Clip 1 - surejan.gif

Is the B-roll or w/e at the start of the clip the same place Lucas was brooding in the first clip of the season? It’s probably reading too much into it but I like that those two dudes on the bench are there for a reason, like mirroring Lucas and Eliott at the end of the last episode, sitting with space between them (no Chloé in the middle, though).

Lucas scrolls through his phone looking for Eliott. He doesn’t find him, but he does find a friend request from Chloé, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation. Son, she’s going to take that as a marriage proposal.

Mika plops down beside him and nags Lucas about the rent. Now that Manon’s parents are no longer financing Lucas’ rent, seems like he’s behind. Can I just mention that Mika and Lucas look like they could be related? I know it is a running Skam fandom joke that the Evak couples look related (sometimes said with underlying homophobia IMO BUT I’m not going to go into that rant now) and I’ve seen people say Lucas and Eliott look similar, but Lucas and Mika are the ones who stick out the most to me. Actually, Lisa too. If you told me that this was an apartment of like ... three siblings being gay and cranky at each other, I would buy it. 

Notifications are going off on Mika’s phone. It’s because Mika changed his profile pic, which he helpfully shows to Lucas/the viewers - I mean, I can get why his phone is blowing up, not gonna lie. No dick from what I can see, but you know. Suggestive. Pubes are clearly visible.

Lucas is like, I don’t want to see that! Well, I don’t think Lucas objects to naked men but I believe him in this instance because Mika is fulfilling the big brother role. Mika teases him about seeing what a man’s body looks like. Don’t worry Mika, in like a month Lucas is going to have very thorough knowledge of what a man’s body looks like.

Mika then asks for Lucas’ advice on a straight dude who wants a blowjob. Does he want it for himself or to do it to Mika? He helpfully imitates a blowjob that freaks out Lucas. I mean, it kinda freaks me out, I had war flashbacks to that grapefruit technique video. (If you have not seen that video, all I’m going to say that it is highly NSFW, not to be watched in public or if you have a heart condition, and I’m sorry.)

Mika is like, if you want to suck dick, you’re not that straight. Lucas is like, well, maybe he wants to try. Maybe that guy is just curious! HMMM Lucas, interesting train of thought. I’m sure you have no personal investment in this debate whatsoever. Mika helpfully shows Lucas’ a picture of the “curious” guy’s butthole. That Mika, being so helpful today.

Lucas gets up because he doesn’t want to spend his weekend looking at naked guys. Well, maybe not guys, plural. Again, in about a month you’re going to look back on that comment and laugh, bro. 

Mika and Lisa agree that Manon was funnier. Lmao, I kinda love how they’re so unimpressed with Lucas. 

Clip 2 - Light and dark

Lucas walks into school on Monday morning and … goes through an attendance book? He didn’t even hesitate, this guy does not give a single shit, does he? He’s just going to grab love by the balls. The camera puts us in Lucas’ POV by focusing from top to bottom like it’s imitating Lucas scanning the list, which is a good detail. Skam France had some POV issues I didn’t care for in previous seasons so this feels more carefully thought out. 

Just as I’m noticing Raptor Alex’s name above Eliott’s, the man himself appears. Oh yeah, they’re supposed to be pals now. They have a short conversation where Lucas is like, WHOOPS, silly me taking the wrong book! When Alex asks for the register, Lucas snakes out and distracts him by congratulating Alex on him and Emma. Alex is like, “Huh? Did Emma tell you that?” Well, they were obviously making out at the party and hanging out together in their IG stories, so while it’s maybe an assumption that they are 100% a couple, there’s obviously something going on between them.

I’ve never really been like ... dying for Isak/P-Chris friendship or interaction post-S2, although I think it could have been interesting. Plus, Chris had graduated by S3 so there weren’t as many opportunities for them to interact. But it’s a nice follow-up here since Raptor Alex is still in school with them. (Was he supposed to graduate along with Charles last year, though? I totally forgot. It feels like those seasons aired forever ago.)

Bell rings, Lucas scampers off with the register. I was like, “Wait, did he even put it back?” until Alex calls after him for it, lmao. I like to imagine that it’s just gone forever, a casualty of love.

In the classroom, Lucas looks up Eliott on his phone. Unlike Isak, he has the wisdom to plug in earbuds before listening to anything.

He’s looking at a crowdfunding page for a project of Eliott’s. It’s noted that the project closed and that the funding was not reached, and that detail punched a hole in my heart. Instant poignancy, instant affection for Eliott. We don’t know the circumstances yet of why he didn’t meet his goal, and if it was at all related to his manic/depressive episodes - perhaps a nice bit of foreshadowing if it turns out they are related - but it’s automatically sympathetic to learn someone had a dream that went unfulfilled. 

In a video, Eliott is talking about his project - a film called Polaris, about two characters and a tunnel. One is a boy, and one is not specified, (a boy, a girl, a creature) which I think is hinting at Elliott’s pansexuality, that he’s okay with any gender, it doesn’t matter to him. The second character does not leave the tunnel, because they are afraid of the light, and they meet the boy, who’s afraid of the dark. They can’t live in each other’s worlds so they chat at the border without ever seeing each other. They talk and fall in love but never meet until one of them decides to conquer their fears and go to the other’s world.

So there’s a lot of obvious symbolism here. Tbh, it’s pretty on the nose and I wish they’d toned it down just a smidge, since this is like … probably exactly what is going to happen with them for either their first kiss or their version of O Helga Natt (or both), but I still appreciate the effort a lot and am eager to see it in action. This is what I wanted from S3 remakes, for each of them to develop their own symbolism that fits their characters, because Isak and Even’s symbolism is so specific to them, their names and their story, that you inherently lose something when you transplant it to other versions of them. The concept of rebirth is really beautiful in a gay love story about coming out and being born as one’s authentic self; I think the idea of light and darkness being used in a similar way - especially in terms of a coming out narrative, being in darkness, coming into the light - could also be beautiful, and of course there are the ideas of having to be brave in order to live with each other, very relevant for an m/m couple in a homophobic society and for someone like Eliott who would be afraid to get close to someone due to his mental illness. It also works in the sense that neither of the characters in the film see each other until they get over their fears - both Lucas and Eliott have baggage and neither will really “see” or understand each other truly until they confront their respective issues.

Right now it seems like Eliott would be the one in the tunnel and Lucas is the one who’s afraid of the dark, and Lucas is going to have to leave his world to be with Eliott. Because well, this is supposed to be Lucas’ story, and the name “Lucas” is associated with light, or meaning “light-giver” or something similar. We know that one episode is called “the boy who was afraid of the dark” and that’s probably referring to Lucas since it’s his POV. At this point in the story, too, we aren’t supposed to know that Eliott is mentally ill, we don’t know he’s struggling, so we might also think that it’ll all be on Lucas to change in order for them to be together. But I think it’s also plausible that maybe they’ll switch roles over the course of the season, they both take turns in the light and in the dark. Maybe Lucas steps into the dark for the first kiss, conquering what he’s afraid of, then he steps into the light for the O Helga Natt equivalent. Or Lucas steps into the dark for the kiss, Eliott must step into the light for O Helga Natt. There are many ways it could go. But this is also what I like about them changing the symbolism, it leads to this kind of speculation. 

I’d like to see Lucas and Eliott being a little more strongly contrasted, too, sort of like they’re ... polar opposites, eh? OK, not that corny and not that they need to be so different that they can’t get along. I just think it’d be interesting with the light and dark metaphor to have them be clearly different in some ways, personality-wise, arc-wise. I want to see their separate worlds highlighted at some point.

Also want to mention that you could perhaps apply this imagery to certain scenes already, like in the first clip of the season you had Lucas in the daytime, light reflecting off the water and through the trees, but he’s not really comfortable there, he’s alone and detached. Later that night, Lucas making out with Chloé in the hallway sort of put him in shadow (or that might be Skam France’s lighting in general, IDK). Might be a reach but it’d be interesting if those choices stacked up throughout the season and reflected the larger metaphor, when we see who’s playing what role.

Polaris itself is “the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor” so that’s another nice allusion to light in itself.

Imane shows up and scares the bejesus out of Lucas. She was going to give him the weed, but he ruined it by being a weenie. However, he redeems himself by expressing interest in the common room project and saying he’ll be at the next meeting. I wonder what changed his mind? Daphne’s enthusiasm? No matter, Imane must see some progress in Lucas, like he needs a reward for good behavior, because she decides to give him back the weed.

He’s grateful, but the teacher sees their drug exchange and wants to know what’s going on. When she asks to see what’s under the table, Imane whips out some tampons and says Lucas brought them to her. LMAO, that’s pretty funny. 

She calls out the teacher for humiliating her in front of everyone, which is also funny, although I kind of feel bad for that teacher, lol. We haven’t seen her be a racist yet like Isak and Sana’s teacher, and I mean ... her students were passing drugs under the table, she wasn’t wrong about them being shady.

Arthur and Alexia laugh at them in the background. I want to know what’s going on over at that table! We can have two pairs of classroom buddies!

Lucas and Imane both laugh so that’s really the kickoff to their friendship. Tampons: saving the day, bringing people together. Tampax should make it into a commercial.

Clip 3 - Questionnaires

It’s the common room meeting, just the girl squad and Lucas, and they’re going over the questionnaires that people filled out. The consensus is that the common room sucks, and people make dirty comments when anonymous (literally the least surprising thing ever if you have ever seen a bathroom stall or any comments section on the Internet).

Daphne kicks out Emma when she gets a phone call and Lucas laughs along with the others. He seems way happier and more comfortable with the girl squad than with anyone else so far, and I think a lot of that is because there isn’t the pressure to maintain a typical hetero fuckboy persona with them as with the boy squad. They’re just girls engaging on a dorky project, so he can just relax.

Alex reads another questionnaire and the answers are all about Daphne. Lucas confirms that the phone number on the page is Basile’s. Daphne looks done with it, she’s caught him staring and drooling, she doesn’t get why he’s into her all of a sudden. Man, I’m already sick of Basile, he’s like Magnus from hell. Especially because Daphne is so not into it, and the fact that she’s noticed him salivating him over her makes it worse. I think it’s for comic relief but it quickly went to creepy territory, and I hate that they’ll likely hook up at some point. Please please don’t go there.

A lot of the questionnaires mention they dislike the mural, so I bet they’ll paint another one at some point, and I bet Eliott will have an idea that they use, being the artsy guy he is. Also, everyone wants them to throw a party so I’m sure that’ll be the setup for either the neon party or the Christmas party (whatever takes the place of those scenes).

Lucas reads another questionnaire that requests a vending machine (reasonable) and a nudist day once a month (not so reasonable) and I was gonna say it was Eliott’s form, because of the vending machine connection and probably some painful foreshadowing toward the hotel naked incident, but actually it’s Alexia’s form, LMAO. She wants the eye candy of naked guys and girls. A nice way to integrate her bisexuality since she’s into naked guys and girls. 

I notice that Alexia has a little rainbow patch on her jeans, so I’m hoping that they’ve taken feedback from earlier seasons and will more directly address her sexuality. I know her ex Clara has been listed in the credits, so that’s very promising. I hope they keep it up and maybe Lucas can connect with her over being LGBT, well, G and B, respectively.

Emma comes back and complains that Alex thinks she’s been telling people they’ve been going out when they’re just hooking up, but Lucas does not care (even though he is responsible for giving Alex that impression) because Eliott walks by the window. Lucas hauls ass out of there and goes out to find him - give him some credit, Lucas is being pretty upfront about approaching Eliott, or going after what he wants so far. What is that gonna end up meaning to his overall character arc? I’m fine with that approach to Lucas’ character, I’m just curious how it will affect his overall characterization from beginning to end. Because Isak wasn’t a total wallflower, he did pursue Even in his own way, but I felt like because he also could be reserved and shy about Even, it was narratively significant when he took certain steps for clear reasons to his personal growth. (I think Lucas and Isak are maybe not all that different about their approaches so far, just slight ways that make it seem Lucas is bolder - like going up to Eliott at the vending machine himself, grabbing the register instead of walking by a list, running after Eliott instead of standing still and locking eyes with him).

Before Lucas can go stalking, he runs into the boy squad. Yann is like, were you in the common room? Spending a lot of time with the girls, eh? Like is he just being a dick about that, because Lucas is choosing the girls over the boy squad, or does he think Lucas wants to hook up with one of those girls? Or is this more about the common room project seeming stupid to him?

Of course Basile has to ask about whether Daphne is thinking about him, GOD please shut him up. Arthur tells him Daphne doesn’t care about him. The hero we need. 

Lucas looks around the courtyard but no Eliott in sight. ur boys cockblocked u, bro

Chloé and Maria come up and invite the boys to their party on Friday. Maria’s fucking cute when she’s not puking, she does a little dance with the invitation. Lucas tries to say they have plans but Arthur’s like, no we don’t! We’re coming! No, Arthur, don’t say that, you know Basile is going to be a creep about it.

The squad gangs up on Lucas for saying no, because you’re always supposed to say yes to partying with girls, and it’s played for laughs with their reactions and stuff but really it is shitty how these guys don’t want to listen to their friend. I mean, let’s say situations were reversed and Lucas was a girl who said “this guy is stalking me.” We’d all be like, get away from that dude, you don’t have to spend time with him, right? Or we’d hope that girl’s friends would say so.

Lucas says Chloé has been clinging to him and it’s stressing him out, and Arthur’s like, I don’t get you, she’s into you, but you’re stressing out? Lucas is clearly stressed by this conversation and that he can’t tell the boys what’s up. All that pressure to like girls is draining him.

I think it is important to keep in mind that Isak also felt isolated from the boy squad at this point in the story, for similar reasons: he had a big secret that he couldn’t tell them, and he felt like he had to like girls to fit in with them, and they put pressure on him to hook up with girls, talk about girls, go to parties with girls. What I think is the big difference, and why it feels perhaps more noticeable with Lucas, is that Isak didn’t have the interaction with the girl squad other than Sana blackmailing him and Vilde annoying him, so we didn’t see him have this friendly outlet where he’s relaxed. In fact, the first time in his season we see him really start to relax and be himself is with Even. I think that contrast was valuable toward establishing Isak’s connection with Even, showing Even as someone who brings Isak out of his shell. But with Lucas, first he is able to laugh together with Imane - Isak and Sana had a moment but they weren’t like giggling together after Isak told off the racist teacher - and second he seems to be having a good time at the common room meeting. Then he goes to the boy squad and it immediately becomes tense. However, I don’t have a huge problem with Lucas laughing a bit with the girl squad here. It makes him seem somewhat less socially isolated, since he seems relaxed with them (even if this isn’t the deepest or most intimate interaction), but it still provides contrast to his interaction with his male friends. It would be nice if the story highlighted this a little more later on, as to why Lucas might feel more comfortable with the girl squad and not the boys when he’s closeted. 

Clip 4 - Polaris

At home, Lucas watches the animated storyboard for Eliott’s Polaris video. A guy and another person of ambiguous gender meet just outside the tunnel in the rain and finally kiss.

I like that Lucas got to watch the project itself (or a storyboard of it) and be invested in it. That’s something I loved about Isak watching Even’s video and then watching R+J - he got to fall for Even watching him be funny and strange talking about his Cap/Putin video, and then he got to watch a movie that Even loved and that awakened these very emotional parts of himself. He got to see a great love in action and wish for that for himself, he got a glimpse of Even’s soul from the art Even loves. Lucas does something similar here in that he gets a glimpse of Eliott’s creative mind, something very personal, and fall for him further, and Eliott’s video is also about great love that Lucas feels that he wants in his own life, it chips away at that facade he’s put up, the lie he’s living. Good adaptation.

The only thing is I suspect that their first kiss or O Helga Natt is probably going to go heavily like that storyboard, if not exactly, which will likely be beautiful, but again, slightly on the nose for me. To be fair, obviously Isak and Even’s first kiss imitated Romeo + Juliet closely; I guess this being Eliott’s own creation/vision vs Even’s fanboying a film by his favorite director makes it a little more OTT, like if a scene from a novel I’d written came into my life, I’d feel weird and self-conscious about it. But that’s just me! I can also see why it’d matter to Eliott, to take this longing and make it a reality. But I think I’d rather just see him make his actual film, accomplish his passion project, than to recreate it in his own life. Maybe because, filming a beautiful love story and falling in love in real life fulfill two different parts of one’s self -  one’s artistic creations are not substitutes for one’s social connections and vice versa - and Eliott’s unfunded film is a thing on its own that’s very poignant and begs to be carried to completion. Does that make sense? IDK, I’d like those big scenes to have similar themes and imagery but not like his storyboard come exactly to life. We’ll see how it goes.

I think it’s a little murky why Lucas searches for the “gay chat” - like is he trying to find Eliott there, or is he looking for any type of connection? Think it’s the former since that was shown more explicitly with Isak, but I guess you can say he’s just testing the gay waters.

The gay app that Lucas downloads features the picture of Skam France director David Hourrègue, much like Skam Italia had their male director in the gay app. (The directors look a tad similar, or is that just me?)

Lucas looks through pictures mainly of disembodied abs and bulges, until he stumbles upon Mika’s picture, and HA, that’s a REALLY good gag, hats off to Skam France. I remember being annoyed because they recreated the Jonas cunnilingus walk of fame in their season 2, except with none of the build-up that made the Jonas scene funny and emotionally resonant (with Eva’s reaction), so it lacked the impact and was just kinda there. This actually had some setup, good job.

Clip 5 - Two bros chillin’ at a bus stop

The boys are getting ready to go to Chloé’s party later and Basile starts talking about how he’ll get with Maria and I’m already so over this, please God let them talk about anything else. I get that this girl talk is establishing the overwhelming heteronormativity and pressure to pursue girls among these teenage boys, but like, let’s hear from Arthur about his hookup techniques, or if there’s a girl Yann likes, anything but Basile being a creep yet again.

He talks about calling himself “Daddy” to Maria as if I wasn’t already thoroughly horrified out by him. FUCK no. 

And the guys are like, I thought you were all up in Daphne’s business? Basile basically doesn’t care, one girl or the other will do, ughhhh GODDDDD.

They tell Lucas that he’s paying for the beer because they’ve taken their turns paying. Lucas waits at the bus stop, texts his dad for rent and grocery money, then texts Mika for money (presumably to buy the beer). MEANWHILE, a figure in a familiar brown coat sits down. I can’t quite tell from the angle, is he sitting in the next seat or is there still one between them? You’d think Eliott would learn from the past not to leave space for any Chloés who might come along. (At the end of the clip I still couldn’t tell, lmao. Feel free to clarify if you have better spatial awareness than I do.)

It’s Lucas’ turn to get startled by a dude just staring at him intensely. They have some banter, Mika texts back that he’s working, Eliott notices something is up, Lucas explains that he has no money to buy beer for a party, so it’s Eliott’s suggestion to come back to his place and get the beer he has. Not Lucas asking him for help, like Isak did. Lucas has seemed somewhat more forthright in pursuing Eliott so this is a bit of a surprise, because a noticeable example of Isak asking Even for something was switched to Eliott offering. I guess you could say it’s Eliott’s development, if he’s the one in the dark and is holding himself back? We’ll see.

Clip 6 - Eliott confirmed weirdo

They go to Eliott’s place and Lucas checks out Eliott’s drawings. They’re cute. Dude really loves raccoons. They look at the drawings together and Eliott says they’re old and that he’s better at drawing himself now. Lucas is like … that’s you? LMAO, Eliott is so fucking weird, I kind of love him. He likes that raccoons have a mask. Well, we know Eliott has his own mask, so it’s fitting, I suppose.

Okay, French fans, I have to ask - what are the perceptions of raccoons in your culture? I found this article saying that the raccoon was introduced to France in 1966 and is considered a pest. They’re considered pests in North America, too, and spread disease, and sometimes they fall through ceilings, but like ... they’ve always been here, so there’s something about them that’s normalized, I guess? 

Lucas asks if Eliott had to draw him what would it be. Well, that’s fucking forward. Eliott studies him and says he doesn’t know. So Eliott basically can’t figure out Lucas yet. What are the odds his later notes to Lucas will include his and Lucas’ fursonas? I know all Isaks are snakes but Lucas reminds me of a woodpecker, personally.

Or maybe they will both be raccoons for the sole reason that I want to start calling Lucas Little King Trashmouth.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY for Lucas to say “draw me like one of your French girls” or something along those lines, though.

Clip 7 - What ... the fuck ...

Lucas and Eliott smoke and talk. While Eliott gets up to change the music, Lucas checks his phone and he’s got messages from Chloé waiting for him.

Lucas blames his absence on the other guys lacking motivation and THAT is the least believable excuse I have heard in my fucking life, come on, Lucas. As if those dudes aren’t panting after those girls. Did you even meet Basile? If you talk to him for ten seconds you’ll already know the names of five girls he wants to fuck.

And of course he types this as Yann is trying to get in touch with him about the party, very much motivated to go.

One of these days an Isak just needs to lie in a plausible way. “Sorry I’m sick, I think I have food poisoning, I’ve been shitting my guts out for the last hour.” If you overshare and make it disgusting, they’re not going to question you further AND Chloé will probably back off and stop chasing you. 

Lucas guesses that Eliott will be putting on some Chopin or Dad Jazz because the turntable makes him seem like a vintage collector but ACTUALLY Eliott is one weird motherfucker and I have to say, not even Even would pull this stunt this soon in their relationship, because what he puts on is dubstep and Eliott starts banging his head and jumping around in a completely unashamed way, and like, even Lucas in all his infatuation with this guy cannot help but stare at him like “what the fuck is going on.”

When Eliott asks about it Lucas responds, “....it’s cool!” in the same way I do when an older relative asks me what I think of The Big Bang Theory or the Minions.

Eliott asks Lucas about his tastes and Lucas is more into rock, like very famous bands, Nirvana, Rolling Stones, Beatles, The Clash. Eliott offers to put on Queen and luckily for the music licensing department Lucas is like, no, I like discovering new things. By which he means “I like discovering new boys.”

Eliott blows a perfect ring of smoke so we know he has more smoke skills than Lucas, going off Lucas’ messy shotgunning in episode 1, and then Lucas also starts to rock out to the music and I’m kinda feeling secondhand embarrassment but also, I guess this means they’re meant for each other?

Clip 8 - Piano man

They’re both sitting there stoned as fuck, Eliott doesn’t want to get up to change the record, so Lucas gets up and puts the record to the side. But instead of selecting a new one, he lifts the lid the piano and asks Eliott if he plays. Eliott says he can play the Star Wars theme - so he has Star Wars fanboying in common with Even, heh.

Lucas then sits down and starts to play perhaps too well for someone who’s probably pretty stoned by now (but I’ve never tried so who knows) and Eliott sits up. We get him smiling at Lucas, eyes shining. At one point Lucas looks behind him and seems to get encouraged by Eliott’s enchanted reaction.

Mmmm ... unpopular opinion, but while this is a really lovely scene, I kiiiinda wish they’d taken it down a notch or put the focus more on Lucas? Because there’s like ... not really any ambiguity about what Eliott feels after this, with his enamored stare at Lucas, and I think in context of the larger story, it takes a little tension out. I think with Even, the attraction was conveyed more in small looks and glances, and while I definitely thought he was always into Isak, from Isak’s POV you could see how the arrival of Sonja threw that into doubt, there was room to question whether Even really had feelings for Isak. Whereas here it’s like ... girlfriend or not, Eliott is smitten with Lucas, I don’t really feel that the ending reveal carries as much weight. I guess I’d put more focus on Lucas’ expressions as he plays, showing him getting into it and letting himself put down his emotional walls and express himself, showing him more open here with Eliott than he’s been so far anywhere else - this is his POV season, after all - and cut back on Eliott’s reactions to preserve a little mystery.

What I think is good about this moment is that Eliott got to share a part of himself, with his drawings (and his questionable taste in music), and unbeknownst to him his Polaris project, and now Lucas gets to share a part of himself with his piano playing, and so they’ve both let each other in to their artistic sides, perhaps establishing them both as creative types. It’s cool that we both see their respective interests. They might even complement each other’s, like Lucas’ music might end up serving Eliott’s vision for his film or something. And this was obviously a turning point for Eliott, he may have noticed Lucas on the first point of school but this is what took his interest in Lucas to another level as he saw Lucas just unleash this piano piece, catching him off guard with something beautiful. 

When Lucas is done, Eliott says it was impressive, and that Lucas is surprising, and he likes surprising people. Well they’re just being blatant as fuck, aren’t they.

Unfortunately, the night must end as Eliott has people to meet and Lucas has a party to endure. Eliott walks Lucas out and says it was great, they need to hang out again, Lucas agrees. I like this moment a lot because it is somewhat more ambiguous - like on the surface this could be a platonic conversation, just wanting to hang out as friends, but there’s just a little too much intensity, a bit too much of a pause in the delivery, to think this exchange is so casual. 

Just as Lucas is going Eliott adjusts his hair? I don’t even know what he was doing because I do not notice a single change in Lucas’ hairdo but Eliott sure did it as a memorable parting gesture. Lucas is internally screaming, probably.

Lucas goes out the door and outside he checks his phone, of course Chloé is pissed, Yann asks why Lucas is lying, Chloé has been posting “men are trash” messages on IG. I repeat: just tell them that you have unstoppable explosive diarrhea and people won’t be so quick to judge. 

Behind him, Eliott leaves his place and Lucas sees him greet a girl with a kiss. OK now that is actually a pretty big change because Eliott does not know that Lucas saw him with a girlfriend and like, I always thought Even was overcompensating with Sonja when he started to compliment her and make out with her, but Eliott was just casually greeting his girlfriend with a kiss, without knowing Lucas was there. He’s not going to know Lucas knows about his girlfriend the next time they meet. If Lucas is irritated with him, he’s going to be like WTF.

There’s piano music at the end, and with its inclusion in the clip itself, I’m thinking they’re going to use a lot of piano on the soundtrack this season. They already did it in episode one.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas apparently ran away from Chloé at the bus stop, heh. She texted him to “subtly” see if he wanted to hang out and insinuated that she wanted to swing by Lucas’ flat some time. Or not subtly. Nothing about her is subtle. She’s wearing a sign that says BANG ME LUCAS.

Lol, as I mentioned above, Emma was hanging out with Raptor Alex and posting pics and stories on IG, I don’t know why they’re surprised people might think they’re an item after they also just hooked up at a party. Like not necessarily together-4ever but it’s not an unreasonable assumption they have a ~thing.

Lucas and Imane laugh over the tampon thing via text later, it’s a sweet moment. I wonder how they’re going to play the religion discussions since the two are already warming up to each other, Lucas being like, “Why are you religious?” in a confrontational way would kill the vibe.

Manon was supposed to see The Book of Mormon with Charles, then later she posted “Night in after all.” Dramaaaaa. Manon, fuck Charles and go by yourself. If some dude bailed on me that night I’d be like, whatever asshole, we paid to see these singing Mormons and I am going to goddamn see some singing Mormons. (Also, lmao at her dramatically posting that publicly, talk about a passive-aggressive swipe at Charles.)

Let’s talk about Basile, goddamn Basile, because he is by far my biggest issue with the season so far. Everything else is pretty solid, any other quibbles I have pale to my rapidly developing kneejerk GTFO when he appears on screen.

Some of the issue is that this dude is so one-note and in a really intense way, like you know when you’re a toddler and your parent hands you a pot to bang on and you hit it with a wooden spoon over and over? That’s Basile. There’s also just the element of overexposure. He tends to take over the boy squad scenes just because he wants to get laid. It feels like we’ve already had as much of Basile thirsting after Daphne and Maria in two episodes as we did Magnus crushing on Vilde spread over the whole season. 

You might say Magnus was similarly desperate to hook up with a girl, and that’s true of course. And look, Magnus isn’t perfect and he said some dumbass shit during the season, but at the same time, there was a kind of weird innocence to him? Even when Vilde is complaining about the first year girls taking the older guys, and he says he’s available to fuck if she wants, it’s an outrageous statement but the way it’s played has a bizarre purity to it, like hey, this girl thinks there won’t be anyone for her to fuck, I should offer! With Basile there’s more sleaziness to his behavior, like dude has been on Reddit too long and has read too many forums about embittered men seeking to get laid.

I think some of it also is that a lot of Magnus was not actively and aggressively pursuing specific girls and bothering them for the most part - after that first offer to fuck Vilde, we don’t see him nagging her or crossing her boundaries, from what I recall? The flirtation gets mutual. He mentions stuff like the Vilde sex dream to the guys but it’s not like he’s telling that to her. With Basile he’s directly going after Daphne in a very persistent way.

One way they could redeem Basile is have his behavior act as a criticism of toxic straight boy bullshit, to go along with the heteronormative pressure. We still have a bunch of episodes to go so perhaps Basile will have character growth.

One thing I didn’t care for was them breaking up the Friday clip into multiple parts and airing them one after the other. I suspected that it was due to time restrictions and I was right, according to the screenwriter on IG. It’s too bad because I think it interrupts the flow of the story. With Skam, we got to see Isak himself change over the course of the afternoon - he went from shy and reserved to opening up and being able to laugh and joke around with Even, and the fact that it’s all one clip makes it more noticeable. The length makes it feel like the lazy afternoon Isak and Even spent getting to know each other. Not Skam France’s fault they had to break it up, just a shame because it felt choppier - watching it clip by clip meant I kept going back to what I was doing in real life and losing the mood instead of sinking into it. But I appreciate what they were trying to do when they couldn’t have a long scene and I think the ways they cut the scene were probably the best places to end/start the clips, tone-wise.

On that note, I’m trying to avoid the BTS commentary but I ended up reading it when I saw the reaction to the Skam France writer’s thoughts on Isak. I get what the guy was going for, Isak was more reserved and shy than Lucas is and Even was doing a lot of the initiating, although yeah, I think his description was worded in an oversimplified way - I don’t think Isak was entirely naive and innocent, more like inexperienced (which is a different thing) and he was certainly the hero of his own story, he was brave. Just because he wasn’t as outgoing doesn’t mean he wasn’t taking control of his own story - I’d say that’s part of what makes his character development so powerful, that because he is more repressed, his choices to kiss Even, to come out to his friends, to learn to be himself, have even more impact. But I don’t think Niels meant to bash Isak or anything, and it’s very clear from his notes that he loves and respects the original season. I think his main point was just like “Lucas is more upfront in his actions,” lol.

Though on a related note, the experience of watching the remakes has made me think that a lot of people don’t get who Isak is as a character, and especially have some extremely bad faith and unsympathetic readings of him. But that’s a rant for another time. 

Tbh I think the behind-the-scenes notes about production stuff like “Axel wasn’t a trained pianist but he practiced hard for this scene” is fine and fun, it’s more the stuff that’s like “Here’s the interpretation of the scene itself” that I wish would wait until the season ends. But lmao, I’m just gonna try to avoid that stuff again.

I actually did like this episode. I’m not sure Skam France is ever going to be my favorite remake, because there’s something about the way it’s filmed that feels more slick and well, TV-like than is my preference, but I can definitely see that they’ve upgraded from last season, and that they’re trying hard to give this story its own spin. The Polaris symbolism is the biggest sign of that so far.

If there’s something I do wish we could get more of with Skam France, it’s subtlety? As a show it often feels more dramatic and this episode leaned heavier on the blatant romance, which might be a cultural thing, and I can absolutely get why people are more drawn to that. There’s plenty of TV shows and movies that I like that are not subtle in the slightest. I guess I’ve just been thinking that I wish the remakes would not be afraid to rely more on subtext for parts of this season, especially building up this relationship. Like there’s nothing blatantly “romantic” about the Evak version of this clip - everything is heavily show don’t tell, and we have to read into the littlest moments, the shared glances. How Even smiles to himself for just a brief moment after Isak compliments his drawings, or how Isak gets flustered after Even teases him for not knowing who Nas is (because he wants Even to think he’s cool) and how Even says that they’ll listen to Nas later - the implication that Isak is going to stay a while and Even will share this with him. “We can’t go back now” is in relationship to the cheese toasties, except you know, it’s not really about the cheese toasties. With Lucas and Eliott, it’s really easy to pick out that Eliott is flirting when he’s flat-out telling Lucas how special he is and how he’s intrigued by him, and sure, that’s where they’re going with Eliott’s character and making him more direct but it’s also related to the overall method and effectiveness of the storytelling. (I mean ... having Eliott be like “You are this-and-that, Lucas” is the definition of telling, not showing, lol.) And I completely get why that works for a lot of people, it doesn’t NOT work for me, but the understated stuff is what makes me watch clips a dozen times to pick up on it all, the subtext is what gets under my skin. My favorite moment was their goodbye at the door because it was a typical friendly exchange on the surface but with more going unspoken, and I felt that on the screen. So not to whine, because I did legitimately enjoy the Lucas/Eliott interaction, those are just my preferences. (The show is not made for me personally etc etc., cultural differences etc etc. I’m aware.)

I am finally warming up to Lucas, after two seasons. I really don’t think that I didn’t care for him before just because his character was closed off and snaky, because I’ve liked every other Isak in the first season of their show even though they’ve also kept secrets and done shady shit. I think they’ve just found a way to portray his character more effectively after having to copy + paste S1 and S2. They can make the character feel more organic. Also, not gonna lie, it felt like they cut back on the serial killer looks (partially because Lucas has more smiley and relaxed moments) so A+ work, Axel.

Also, knowing that they had to redo the first two seasons so closely doesn’t really change my opinion of the quality of the first two seasons, but it does make me more sympathetic toward the cast and crew for having to color inside the lines, so to speak. 

Eliott is a fucking weird ass human being and I’m really feeling his character. They made his absurdly good looks more approachable by turning him into a dubstep-stanning furry, and I am here for whatever shit they tell us about him next. 

I also think think the use of music was much better than in previous seasons. There were some very deliberate choices in this episode, obviously, but it felt like they’re learning to use silence more effectively and not shoehorning the soundtrack as much.

Feel free to chime in or correct me about French culture/translation/other issues.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[faejilly]

i am for you (10/?)

This chapter brought to you by that time I accidentally left Sucker on loop on Spotify for like three days. idk why either, that’s all I’ve got tho 

***

[misfit group mms]

[tessa]: oh, it's nice to be home on a Friday night [tessa]: I love the ALA con but my pajamas are so much more comfortable

[dot]: says you and Ragnor, maybe. The rest of you got any plans? I've got itchy feet but I can't decide what I want to do or where to go

[magnus]: you always have itchy feet

[dot]: you're one to talk

[cat]: so you're crowdsourcing for ideas?

[dot]: why not?

[cat]: Sorry, I have to work a double tomorrow, I'm with Tessa. Tea and putting my feet up, that's the life

[magnus]: Alexander and I are going dancing.

[cat]: I can see your giddy smile from here, you've got it bad

[magnus]: Yes, I do

[raphael]: you've had worse taste, I must admit

[magnus]: was that a compliment?

[raphael]: he's not a total idiot. He has a sense of humor, too

[tessa]: what [tessa]: did you make a joke? One someone else could recognize rather than one where you laughed at them in your head? And then he GOT IT? [tessa]: Magnus, your boy's magical, I can't wait to meet him

[magnus]: not today, sorry darling

[dot]: oh we know. Have fun

[magnus]: so much fun

[raphael]: please don't give us the details

[magnus]: just for that, you're getting pictures tonight [magnus]: so many pictures [magnus]: every possible outfit combination [magnus]: every menu item I consider for dinner [magnus]: every step in line on the way to the club

[raphael]: why are you such an asshole

[magnus]: but I'll stop once we get inside [magnus]: because I love you

[dot]: or because Pandemonium uses those weird spotlights and strobes so most pics look terrible

[cat]: oh no, it's because Magnus will be too busy admiring Alec

[raphael]: never thought I'd be thankful for Magnus' libido

[magnus]: harsh. I'll have you know he has a beautiful soul

[dot]: you're not going to a club to grind against Alec's *soul*

[cat]: apparently he can multi-task. Enjoy his soul, pretty eyes, and how he moves his hips?

[magnus]: stop objectifying my boyfriend [magnus]: or wait 'til he can hear you so I can at least enjoy him blushing

[cat]: ah, young love

[magnus]: you're the same age I am

[cat]: but I'm not in love, thank god, it sounds exhausting

[magnus]: bah humbug?

[ragnor]: exactly [ragnor]: But I also have plans, actually. Quieter ones.The observatory's doing a talk on the Lyrids, and then they're having a midnight picnic while we see how well they show up

[dot]: oooh. Can I come?

[ragnor]: if you can get here in half an hour, it's a bit of a drive to the site. Have to get far enough out of town to avoid the worst of the light pollution

[dot]: on it

[magnus]: hmmm, I have to start planning my photo montage [magnus]: you're gonna love it, Raphael [magnus]: you should get a new SD card [magnus]: so you can save them ALL

[cat]: I'm so sorry, Raphael

[magnus]: OH. IT'S ON. YOU'RE GETTING THEM TOO

[cat]: ohnomyphone'sdyingwhatwasthat

[tessa]: have fun, children. And Ragnor.

***

[maia]: Alec's here. With Magnus. Dancing. In public. Holy shit Magnus can dance. Alec's not bad, but wow. WOW.

[simon]: why are you telling me this when I can't come &see it for myself? That's just mean

[maia]: so you can tell Becky and she can give you that look that she does when she doesn't believe you? Because that look's hilarious

[simon]: you are a cruel woman

[maia]: you're just jealous Becky likes me better

[simon]: Everyone likes you better. You are objectively the best, I am proud of everyone for liking you better.

[maia]: awww. That was really sweet you big dork

[simon]: 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[maia]: less sweet, more dork

[simon]: hey, at least I didn't try and make long-stemmed rose emojis for you [simon]: that'd be a bit much

[maia]: SPEAKING OF A BIT MUCH [maia]: I think there's glitter in Alec's hair. From Magnus' ... Everything?

[simon]: WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? I hate Pandemonium's lighting, I can't even ask you to get pics, they never come out

[maia]: well Lydia's seen Alec do this before, apparently, the dancing at least if not the glitter, and Clary's right here staring at them with me, and I can't very well tell Izzy or Jace, they're all stuck in *wait are we supposed to worry about him now?* mode and it's clearly very confusing for them that their big brother is his own person and has sex. Possibly a lot of sex? Alec and Magnus are very close together with this dancing thing. [maia]: They're really hot, babe

[simon]: I'm your last choice? AND you're telling me other boys are hot? I'm hurt

[maia]: no you're not, you know I love you (and you also know they're hot)

[simon]: I do, don't I? Love you too.

[maia]: were you agreeing with both of those?

[simon]: obviously [simon]: I can get away with that 'cause he's not actually my brother and also I know you'll never tell him I said that because you like me enough not to want me to be QUITE that mortified [simon]: aw shit, you'd totally tell Becky or Clary tho. Please don't tell Becky & Clary

[maia]: I'll consider it 😏 [maia]: Clary's probably safe. She seems really weirded out by Alec's date-behavior. Pointing out that we both already knew he was hot might make her head explode. [maia]: do you think it's because she thinks of Alec as a brother or just because he's so *Alec* iykwim?

[simon]: probably both. Clary's good at multi-tasking her emotions

[maia]: Was that a compliment or an insult?

[simon]: no idea [simon]: and Bubbie's back, gotta go. She did want to know if you're still good for Shabbat next week?

[maia]: course. Tell her I'll bring the wine

[simon]: told you everyone should like you best 😍

[maia]: 😘

***

[clary]: alinealinealinehelp in eed tot alkto you

[aline]: it's after 2 in the morning there what are you doing? Are you all right? Is someone dying? Do I need to get a plane ticket?

[clary]: SORRY. Everyone'sfine (alec's borfiiiiirnis so gorgeous and i don't even,i had to tell you because you'retheonlyone who gets it)

[aline]: alec's what? WHAT. [aline]: CLARY [aline]: CLARY WTF [aline]: I AM GOING TO CALL LUKE AND MAKE SURE NO ONE'S DYING

[aline]: clary? If you're asleep and no one's dying I'm going to kill you

[clary]: sorry, sorry. Got some water and a keyboard I candothisnow. Sort of. Sorry

[aline]: how drunk are you

[clary]: not too drunk for these conversation [clary]: thank god my phone's well trained

[aline]: thank god I woke up and had coffee already [aline]: can you start over now?

[clary]: yeah like. A week or twss ago this guy THIS GUY with the best clothes I've ever seen and eyeliner to rival Izzy's came into the store looking for a book and he said *ALEC* sent him

[aline]: what

[clary]: i KNOW. right. I did not know that was a thing for Alec. Maybe it's just Magnus is a thing for Alec? That would make more sense, I don't think he knew what he looked like at that point but MAGNUS HAD THIS LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE SAID aLEC's name and it was amazing and adorable and istg he's so beautiful i want his vests like all of them do you think if they get married I could borrow his vests?

[aline]: clary. You need to, idk. I cannot follow this story and if you don't figure it out I'm going to call you and if that doesn't help I'm going to call EVERYONE YOU ARE EVEN SORT OF RELATED TO UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINS

[clary]: NO you can't that's why I'm talking to you Maia went home to sle [clary]: sleep because Maia actually knows how to adult and Jace and Izzy are being like scowly because you know it's *Alec* and they're worried and Lydia is [clary]: Lydia more Alec's friend than my friend even though we are also friends and how does she make her hair stay like that do you think? It never falls out of those braids

[aline]: BREATHE

[clary]: ok

[aline]: drink some water

[clary]: ok

[aline]: try again

[clary]: so Alec has a boyfriend who he met via an accidental email message or something like in an actual freaking movie [clary]: and for their first date they came to THE HUNTER'S MOON AND SIMON'S GIG LAST WEEK

[aline]: why would anyone start with that

[clary]: and then they left early and Alec's was freshly shaved when he got to the bookstore the next *afternoon* like he had only just managed to get home and clean up before he had to show up and also he keeps smiling and I have a suspiciousness he hasn't slept back at his own place all week

[aline]: how did starting with meeting our family work, that's impossible

[clary]: I have no damn clue but we tried to tease him at dinner last week and now Maryse invited Magnus (that's the boyfriend in case I forgot that part?) to family dinner this week and apparently he said YES [clary]: IT'S BEEN A WEEK and ALEC IS BRINGING HIS OBYFRIENDTOD INNER S unday wait it's like almost three that's TOMORROW

[aline]: Alec's never invited anyone to a family anything ever. I've never even managed to figure out if he's ever gone on a date because wherever he goes it's not where any of us are. EVER.

[clary]: OH HE DATES NOW [clary]: I SAW THEM AT PANDEMONIUM TONIGHT AND I [clary]: they were *dancing* and I was maybe 4 people away and Alec didn't even notice [clary]: and Alec's my *brother* and they're boys but even I could tell they were really hot. as in people were staring hot and Alec didn't care

[aline]: holy shit

[clary]: like. I really don't want to know this about them but they may have had sex in the bathroom because let me tell you Alec was all blushing and dark eyed and hi's HAIR and you know that loose-happy-post-orgasm thing was going on with the dancing

[aline]: I don't want to know this about them or you that you would recognize that, you're twelve

[clary]: I am TWENV. I'm TWEMT fucking 21

[aline]: maybe he'd just had a drink and was enjoying a night out [aline]: ...

[clary]: yeah. Cuz that's not LESS WEIRD? Alec drinking and going out in public and not noticing someone he knows near-by? (MAIA. ME. we're not subtle) ALEC NOT NOTICING FAMILY? I HAVE NEVER. You have never. NEVER.

[aline]: this is the most disturbing conversation to be having. Especially with you

[clary]: WHY ESPECIALLY ME? You've known Izzy since she ewas actually a bb izzy and me since i was a teenager why'mI worse? [clary]: and i am not a virgin wtf aline you took me to the 18nighht at Galore togetherallthetime before you met Helen. And after you met Helen but before either of you had the balls to ask her out. Or the other her. Or you. I think I lost track of the nouns in that sentence

[aline]: drink more water

[clary]: k

[aline]: and then get some sleep

[clary]: BUT aLEC AND mAGNUS

[aline]: are adults and apparently very happy about that fact, they'll be fine

[clary]: but Izzy and Jace are being WEIRD ABOUT IT i need help

[aline]: why? How? What do you think I'm going to do from a different continent? And are you even going to remember this conversation after you get some sleep?

[clary]: that's why typing i can read it if i forgot

[aline]: uh. I think that's going to go a little differently than you expect

[clary]: oh, Simon's saved everysingle durmngdi drunk text I've ever sent him, this is way more like real words than usual

[aline]: that's terrifying I can't know that you're twelve

[clary]: stop saying that!

[aline]: you're drunk texting me about your brother's boyfriend [aline]: who you actually called both gorgeous and hot like he's a celebrity on a poster [aline]: stop acting like you're twelve

[clary]: oh [clary]: point [clary]: but

[aline]: and honestly considering Alec I think you're the one being weird [aline]: it's perfectly normal to be worried about someone doing something out of character

[clary]: ugh not you too [clary]: but the SMILES [clary]: the way they just. Everything. [clary]: I think they're soulmates

[aline]: there's no such thing

[clary]: I didn't think so either. but now?  [clary]: aw shit the tired hit I gotta go sleep [clary]: love you

[aline]: but [aline]: god damn it [aline]: I’m calling you back in six hours to wake you up and make you suffer

***

[aline]: I just had the weirdest conversation with Clary

[helen]: it's 3 in the morning there

[aline]: drunk!Clary. Not even why it was weird though. I think.

[helen]: what she's twelve she can't be drunk texting people on the other side of the planet, that's just wrong

[aline]: that's what I said!

[helen]: great minds

[aline]: hot bods

[helen]: 🥂

[aline]: 💕

[helen]: so what did drunk Clary have to say that was even weirder than the fact that drunk Clary was texting you from the other side of the planet?

[aline]: Alec brought a date to Simon's gig last week and they're going to family dinner Sunday AND they were apparently at Pandemonium last night. Alec didn't notice Clary. While he was dancing. In public. With some guy *Clary* called hot and gorgeous and beautiful.

[helen]: wtf Clary's possibly even more gay than you are. She and Alec are both solid sixes.

[aline]: I KNOW, RIGHT?

[helen]: I don't know what to do with this information

[aline]: exactly [aline]: and Clary was in all seriousness (I think) calling them soulmates and then she decided she was tired and stopped talking to me

[aline]: and it's 3am there everyone else is probably asleep  [aline]: I'm just staring at my phone. I feel like I should do something with all this? But there's nothing?

[helen]: so you had to share the WTF with me?

[aline]: obviously

[helen]: well [helen]: thanks? [helen]: but I'm at my stop so you're gonna have to figure out the WTF on your own for awhile

[aline]: but I don't wanna

[helen]: too bad

[aline]: ha. Just for that, I'm going back to bed. Blankets and pillows and that one line of sunlight that makes it through between the curtains...

[helen]: I hate you

[aline]: love you too, babe. 👋🏼 

[killingxrangers]

It Start with a Like- Chapter Two

Trini had ended up showering before she went to bed, and attempted to push all thoughts about Kimberly Hart from her mind. There was no reason for the top girl in their grade to like or comment on a photo of someone as unknown as Trini, and it definitely had nothing to do with Kimberly being into girls. Kimberly and her boyfriend were affectionate enough in the hallways (to the point of frequently being warned by various teachers) for anyone to question their commitment to one another. And even if Kimberly was into girls, which Trini does not believe, why would Kimberly go for Trini when she could be with her gorgeous best friend? None of it made any sense and Trini wanted to sleep and forget about any interaction with Kimberly Hart. She was just about to close her eyes and try to sleep when her phone vibrated just once, signaling something from Instagram. Most likely Zack sending her memes, but she checked nonetheless. 

She nearly choked when she saw she had a message from k.harteyes. 

Hi. It’s Kim Hart 

Trini blinked a few times as she read the message once, twice, three times before hovering over the keypad. Should she respond? Did she even want to respond? She originally wanted to sleep and pretend Kimberly never acknowledged her, but that seemed to be impossible now. Besides, Kimberly would be able to tell that Trini had read the message and was promptly ignored if she didn’t respond, so now she doesn’t have much of a choice. 

She typed a quick and simple hello, and wasn't expecting the message to immediately be read, but then she saw Kimberly was typing back and now Trini definitely didn’t know what to do. Fucking Kimberly Hart was clearly trying to have some type of conversation with Trini, what the hell should she do? Text back? About what?

k.harteyes: Just wanted to let you know the pic you posted was very nice. You’re really gorgeous

Trini_Gomez: Uuuh thanks 

k.harteyes: Sorry if I woke you up. Having a shit night but your pic made me smile 

Trini stared down at her phone for a minute wondering how she was supposed to reply to that message. She didn’t know Kimberly. They weren’t friends. Trini didn’t know how to socialize or console. What was she supposed to do?

Trini_Gomez: I was awake. Sorry to hear you’re not having a good night 

That didn’t sound right and Trini frowned at her screen, knowing her message was too apathetic. Kimberly was clearly reaching out for a reason and Trini should probably try to sound like a normal human being. 

Trini_Gomez: Wanna talk about it?

Whenever Zack was upset over something regarding his sick mother, Trini always tried to get him to talk about it, and while he rarely did he always appreciated the effort. The least Trini could do was offer the same to Kimberly, especially after the girl went out of her way to call Trini gorgeous, something no one besides Zack had ever done before. And Zack had never called her gorgeous, but pretty and attractive to boost her confidence and hot when he was drunk. In the beginning of their friendship Zack didn't try to hide his interest in Trini, which makes Trini now highly doubt the guy’s gaydar, but he flirted relentlessly until Trini said she was gay. Zack dropped his flirting and moved on to trying to be Trini’s wingman (he sucked) and wanted to help score girls (he couldn’t). Not that he had much of a chance to truly try, seeing as he was the only person who Trini had openly come out to. She’d sooner die than confess to her overbearing mother that she was a lesbian. Her mother would never understand, or worse, would consider it a phase. 

k.harteyes: Its ok I’m not trying to bother you 

Trini_Gomez: I can listen if you wanna vent 

k.harteyes: Another time maybe 

k.harteyes: I have to get to sleep sorry for bothering youu really 

k.harteyes: You’re just super pretty and I wanted you to know that 

k.harteyes: A girl should always be told when she’s pretty like you 

Trini_Gomez: Well in that case you’re beautiful 

k.harteyes: Goodnight Trini Gomez

Trini_Gomez: Goodnight Kimberly Hart 

“I expect you home immediately after school.” Roger Hart was already standing at the base of the stairs when Kim came down the next morning, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. “Your actions last night were reprehensible. Until I say otherwise you will come straight home from school every day and will not be going out on the weekends. Say goodbye to Tyler and Amanda for some time.” 

Kim grabbed a banana and a shake from the fridge, barely acknowledging her father following her every move from the archway separating the kitchen from the dinning room. “You know I have cheerleading practice after school every day.” With her back turned to him she rolled her eyes, wanting nothing more than to be able to leave this house and never have to come back. “That doesn’t end until four.” 

“Then I expect you home by four-fifteen. Is that understood, Kimberly? And do not speak to me with that attitude again.” The fridge opened and slammed as Roger grabbed the milk to add to the coffee he was about to start brewing, and though he couldn’t see her, he somehow knew she was trying to sneak out. “Do not just walk away from me, Kimberly. For fucks sake have I taught you no manners?” 

Thankfully, the sound of a horn beeping outside saved Kim from surely saying something else that would get her into further trouble. She's not quite sure how she manages to piss her father off consistently every day, but it seems he's hated her all her life. Her mother was no better, really, though Ali’s annoyance with Kim started a few years ago, same as the heavy drinking. It seemed as if one day Ali picked up the wine bottle and just never managed to set it down again. Kim wasn’t sure if that made her own life better or worse: better in the sense that for the most part Ali tended to leave Kim alone, but worse as her own mother was of no help against Roger. 

“That’s my ride. I have to get to school before I’m late.” Roger said nothing more to her and Kim quickly grabbed her keys and bag before fleeing from the house. Surprisingly enough, this was a rather tame morning in the Hart house and she wanted to leave before something made Roger go off again. 

Amanda was out front in her convertible, music loudly playing as the girl scrolled through her phone waiting for Kim to come out. She didn’t look up as Kim dropped her bag in the back seat and hopped in the front, not questioning the sigh from Kim and how she rested her head on her hand on the door.  

“Mark is throwing a party tonight- what time do you want to show up?” Amanda asked as she pulled away from the curb, starting the short ten minute drive from their neighborhood to school, passing a few other of their class members driving as well, and underclassmen waiting on the bus stops.  

Mark was a close friend of Ty’s, another member of the football team and someone Kim could barley tolerate. He was a sexist pig who would get too handsy when he was drinking (he kind of got handsy when he wasn’t drinking either) and Ty would never tell him to leave Kim alone. Frequently she found herself having to shove him away only for him to come back a few moments later, reeking of sweat and beer. All of his parties took place in the woods about a mile behind his house, far enough away for no neighbors to hear the noises from the teens and any pounding base. Not to mention there was a lake at the base of one of the mountains right where he tended to throw his parties, meaning most of the people got half naked and would drunkenly jump into the freezing cold water. 

Kim was not a fan in the slightest of these parties, yet Ty and Amanda continued to drag her to them each and every time. “My father is ridiculously pissed at me and I’m grounded. I don't think I’ll be able to sneak out tonight.” Usually she’d be furious at her father for overreacting to the smallest of things, but tonight she finally had an excuse to stay in. 

“Your father needs to pull that stick out of his ass once and for all.” Amanda shrugged with a laugh as she pulled into one of the many spots at Angel Grove High, finding a few of their friends hanging out around some cars. “Sneak out when they go to sleep- you know they won’t notice. Your mom will be too drunk and your dad will fall asleep early anyway.” 

“Real nice, Amanda.” Kim jerked her bag from the back and slammed the car door closed, suddenly just as mad at Amanda as she was at her parents. Amanda didn’t understand anything and she never would. Her mother adored her and her father gave her anything she asked for. As many times as Kim’s been to Amanda’s house she’s never even heard Amanda’s father so much as yell at the TV. 

If they hadn’t been friends for as long as they have, Kim isn’t sure her and Amanda would last much longer. They first met in kindergarten when Kim comforted a crying Amanda after they were dropped off in the morning, and it seemed their friendship had been solidified ever since. Despite a few fights over guys and both girls being rude to one another throughout the years they have stayed together. The older Kim got the more she questioned the sanity of that decision. 

Deciding that her day was already ruined before it even started, Kim went through the first two periods of her day in relative silence, not bothering to focus in her classes and choosing instead to doodling in her notebook. She had no interest in school today and wanted nothing more than to leave. She isn’t quite sure where she’d be going given that her house was out of the option, but she knew she needed to be somewhere else besides here. 

It wasn’t until the end of biology did Kim run into someone else and be forced to socialize. The lecture for the day had been incredibly boring, so far the worst class of the day, and Kim was just looking for an easy thirty minute lunch break when she quite literally knocked someone to the ground. With the mood she was in Kim hadn’t decided if she was going to apologize or just stomp away, until she looked to the ground and saw it was the girl from last night. 

Like in the picture Trini had posted, she had one side of her hair braided back in three tight braids, her entire head mostly covered by a grey beanie. She was wearing tight jeans with some rips that Kim couldn’t figure out if were bought that way or were old enough the rips came naturally, and a loose white t-shirt. A yellow and black flannel was dropped next to her on the ground and she stared up at Kim with a frown. 

“What the hell?” Trini moved to pick herself up, Kim too stunned to make a move to help as she kept staring at Trini. The girl was beautiful in pictures but holy fuck was she perfect in real life. Kim doesn’t think she’s seen anyone quite as breath taking as the girl now standing before her with a look of complete distaste on her face. “Watch where you’re going, Kimberly.” 

Kim couldn't manage to find any words to respond, especially given that Trini seemed very angry- more angry then was was reasonable over an accident. But more than that, Kim started to frown because since when was Trini in her biology class? 

“Uh- I’m, uh, I’m sorry,” Kim winced at the lame apology, her frown matching Trini’s as the two girls continued to stare at one another. It seemed Kim’s heart was beating much too fast for unknown reasons, and when Trini turned to try and leave Kim found herself not wanting the girl to go. “Wait!” She jerked out to grab Trini’s arm, keeping her in place. Trini raised an eyebrow at the unexpected touch as she looked back to Kim, who said, “I, uh, I appreciate you talking to me last night.” 

“Yeah, well,” Trini shrugged and clearly wanted to leave as she kept looking between Kim and the exit, but Kim couldn’t let her go, not yet. “I should get to lunch.” 

“Um, I can walk you!” Internally Kim flinched. She sounded so needy and desperate and she wasn’t sure why. Trini was just another girl in Kim’s class, so why did Kim feel the need to continue to force a conversation. Especially given that Trini looked like she wanted to do the complete opposite than walk with Kim, but said nothing as the two started the short journey to the cafeteria. Taking a deep breath to hopefully make her voice more steady, Kim continued and said,“I meant what I said about appreciating you talking to me. You had no reason to you but.. it was a bad night so thank you.” 

“Not a problem.” Trini made no effort to hide uncomfortable she was, and part of Kim felt horrible and embarrassed for continuing a relatively one sided conversation, but a larger, more selfish part of her craved it. She had no idea why that part of herself was there at all, but couldn’t find it in herself to question it. 

The two girls finally made it to the cafeteria, and it was obvious they would be heading in opposite directions. Kim’s friend were to the left, Amanda and the rest of the cheerleaders as well as most of the football team, while the boy Trini had on her instagram was hanging out by the door leading outside. 

Trini motioned to the boy clearly waiting for her. “Well, uh, see you.” 

As Trini went to leave Kim couldn’t keep the comment to herself as she said, “I also meant what I said last night. That I think you’re very gorgeous.” 

There was no response as Trini turned rather quickly, almost too quickly, but Kim could have sworn she saw light blush on the other girl’s face. With a smile, Kim started walking towards her friends table. It seemed none of them noticed the interaction between Kim and Trini, and that’s how Kim preferred it. She knew none of her friends would understand, because hell, Kim didn’t really understand it much herself. 

But she knew without a doubt there was something about Trini Gomez that pulled Kim Hart to her. And Kim would be damned if she didn't find out what that something was. 

[noheroes-allowed]

week 4:

day 22: can’t believe I just typed the words “week 4″ :(, FINALLY worked on 4520. but also it was only part 1 out of 4 and I always fall into this false sense of security that the hw isn’t that bad but the problems usually get harder as the problems progress, ate an entire king size bar of Hershey's cookies and cream and I am mad, finished the five eps that are out for little fires everywhere. and I want to start killing eve. why did I start getting back into watching shows when classes resume. why am I this problematic to myself, chatted with my brother and my mom again, wishing veep was still airing so I could see the dc shenanigans/conspiracies during these corona times bc all the state refusals to reschedule primaries have got to be political but my brain isn’t informed enough to understand all the ulterior motives, now it’s 1:30am and I worked on problems 3 and 4. I don’t think I did everything correct but I still feel less stressed, albert finally ft me, secon pictures

day 23: first day of class! I’ve missed seeing strangers and I still enjoy Boyer’s lectures. it’s the only class I would willingly go to even if it was recorded, 4110 was boring lmao. I’m gonna just wait for her to upload and watch them at faster speed, worked on behavioral for hours and I had to redo one stupid problem like 5 times before I figured it out. and it took me like a full hour before understanding what to do for question one. that class makes me feel so stupid, played countries game on snap with albert, started killing eve. my timing sucks, both maggie and rochelle haven’t started the pset but jaja has and we’re gonna go over it at some point. idk if I should text keith about it bc I feel like I’m bothering him again rip

day 24: omfg. I woke up this morning and remembered I had a meeting at 11. then literally forgot it and didn’t remember until 12. I’m so dumb I was literally watching little fires everywhere and eating oatmeal when I was supposed to be on skype alfksndnfjfjf, didn’t do as much cti work as I should’ve, 4520 fucking took me like 6 hours and I’m mad bc I still can’t figure out one of them and all the other ones are so iffy, ate too much fried rice, also my leg is still cramping and I just wanna run :(

day 25: omg I had a dream about secon and it was senior year. and we were all meeting in warren before we had to leave. and keith didn’t walk in until the very last group aldksnfksjf. and he had this haircut where everything was short except for one section that was long and covered up a part of his face. and he didn’t talk to me and I got sad. skgjsnfjwkg it had to have been bc we talked about haircuts last time and dayna posted those secon pics. but also like why, I. am. so. mad. I fucking spent two hours fixing my code for 4520 bc he worded the question badly and then he answered my question on piazza and said that for the purpose of this assignment either method is fine. which meant I could’ve not spent two hours fixing that shit. omfg I hate this class. it made me spend ~20 hours in the past week on it. and ruined my schedule for working on two of my other classes. also can he pls release grades for the last assignment already, finished the 4660 pset and checked it over :), might just not finish 4110 and watch killing eve instead oof. 4520 really burnt me out

day 26: there was a man with a leaf blower outside working this morning starting 8am and it was so rude like some people are sleeping sir but I guess it was a blessing in disguise since it woke me up and maybe I’ll fix my sleep schedule a bit more. still trying to have 8am wakeups, meeting with refactored today. I hope our pivot is good, read two more authors for my essay and finished 4.5 pages!! I only have four more authors to do. I’ve literally done 12/16 and I’m so close to finishing and I can’t wait until I don't have to think about this class again. hopefully I can finish tomorrow, I’m officially officially cleared :), I’m gonna walk/run 5k and it saddens me how I’ve had this cramp in my calf for the past week. like I’d been fucking training for 21 days and now I could actually do a 5k but I physically can’t. like I know it’s not real bc you just do it on your own and there aren’t any timings or anything but. idk it just would’ve felt good to complete it, went on a two hours walk with Cat

day 27: woke up late, went on a run even though my cramp isn’t fully healed and it was probably a bad idea, finished 14/16!, watched killing eve instead of starting my essay though, worked on 4110 hw, ate too much after my run ugh, got a stomachache so I couldn’t do my workout :(

day 28: woke up really late. I had a dream though that I was driving and the brakes weren’t working well so I kind of kept getting into accidents and wrecking the car. and then I was like no I need to stop driving. and then was at this place where a bunch of dulaney people were for some reason. and asked hayden for a ride home? ok. also had another dream where I was eating shrimp at a restaurant but I needed to pee but the bathrooms were far away so I got in this car with the couple sitting next to me and we drove there. but the bathroom stalls were weird as fuck so three toilets were basically in each partition? so me and these other girls were gonna take turns peeing but the door was also really weird so we had to prop it up so no one could see her but then she accidentally peed on the girl who was holding the door right in front of her. idk it was too wild and I woke up, I ate at 12 and then again at 1:30 and then again at 4:30 and then again at 8. big yikes I must stop, oh I had a project team meeting. keith was the last to leave but we didn’t really talk bc he had to get back to work, finished 16/16 and the conclusion!, will work on 4110 tomorrow bc I can’t do work anymore

[rosesnvines]

Little Mouse & Komainu: Keith’s POV

Keith’s side of this post, though it starts after school, there is a quick backstory and more details about the Voltron team. And man oh man, @kalluralove, now I really want pics of the two with their arusins! I’m just squealing at how cute Keith and Blachu got!! XD This can be for the Lion and Mouse prompt, as well as Lost and Found, maybe? But it’s mainly only a mention made by Keith about finding his place. Anyway, without further ado, enjoy these adorable babies!

The drive home was unusually quiet. Shiro usually liked to talk about the other grades he taught science to and their antics. But right then, Shiro kept glancing oddly at Keith. Keith let out a groan and gave in.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that for?”

“Just wondering if it’s the same Keith, that’s all. Whenever Allura was around, you changed, you seemed . . . different.”

“Different how? Allura was the only thing that was different about today.”

“Hmm . . . maybe you’re right.”

“Well of course I am, today was only different because it was Allura’s first day. What more did you expect? Romelle to come rushing into your classroom to greet her cousin?” Keith let out a snort when Shiro blushed slightly.

“Oh, alright, fine, just cut it out. I’m sorry, but, it was just so odd to see you act so . . . soft and kind around her.”

“Hey, remember, you keep drilling into me that as class rep, it’s supposed to be my job.”

“Alright, glad to hear all that drilling finally paid off.” But when they came to a stop at a red light, Shiro leaned in. “So, you’re absolutely sure you’re not falling in love with Allura on her first day here?”

“What? No . . . yes! I’m sure! Now cut it out!” Keith pushed Shiro back, only for the two to turn it into a playful brawl, until Shiro yelped. “Shiro! I’m so sorry! Are you alright? I didn’t mean to . . .”

“Oh, no, the light turned green. And man, you fall for that every time,” replied SHiro with a grin as the car lurched forward.

“Shiro! Come on! How do you expect me to know when you’re actually hurting?”

“Oh believe me, you’ll know,” quipped Shiro.

Keith crossed his arms. “I’m not sure if I want to know. I just don’t to go back into the system.”

“I know, Keith. Just two more years, and you won’t have to worry about it anymore. Except maybe helping me with my diapers every now and then.”

“What?” exclaimed Keith. Shiro merely laughed. “Oh come on Shiro, that’s disgusting!”

“What? Admit it, you were seriously wondering if I did, didn’t you?” Keith just grumbled in reply. Shiro just laughed as he pulled into their driveway. It was a pretty small house, just three bedrooms and one bath, with one of the bedrooms turned into Shiro’s office. Keith immediately walked off towards his room, but not before Shiro called him.

“Hey, Keith! You feel like Chinese or pizza tonight?”

“Chinese, I guess,” replied Keith with a shrug before he closed his door. It didn’t matter to him, they didn’t have many options thanks to Shiro’s medical bills. Thankfully, a couple of the lunch ladies would sneak them whatever leftovers they had. Sometimes it wasn’t much, but for the weekends, it usually was all they had. Shiro found out that they really weren’t supposed to do that, but they told him it was better than letting all that food, little as it sometimes may be, go to waste and tossed when someone could have it. They were also the ones who told them about the food drive that the school district did over the summer, and the two had never been so happy. With as much food as they got every week, they practically feasted that summer. Shiro didn’t have to worry about purchasing food and could save up that money for something else. Now, they were getting back into the old swing of things, lunch at school, take-out for dinner. Keith let out a sigh as he slumped on his bed. Well, this year should be interesting, what with a new Altena at school. Keith just hoped that she would come to understand why he and Lance wouldn’t let her near Lotor. He pictured Allura in his mind, she was so pure and innocent, yet he could sense a fire burning within. He didn’t want Lotor to tarnish her, to put put that fire. Keith unknowingly watched it happen with Avok before finally realizing what was happening, but by then, it was too late. He liked Romelle, he liked Bandor, he had even liked Avok too, before Lotor got to him. And now he simply refused to let another Altena fall to the influence and clutches of Lotor. He didn’t know what Lotor wanted with the Altenas in general, that not only drove Keith nuts, it also worried him. As such, he swore to protect the other three, if not for Avok’s sake, for Shiro’s as Keith did notice how close the two teachers had been getting. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey Keith? I’ve placed the order, the driver should be here in a few minutes. Keep an ear out for him, please? I’m going to take a shower.”

“Alright.”

“Thanks! Money’s on the table!” Keith heard Shiro walk into the bathroom and start his shower. Letting out a sigh, Keith rose from his bed, and paused. Was that there when he came in? A rectangular box was sitting on his desk, one he had never seen before. Did Shiro get him something? But that wasn’t right, Keith’s birthday wasn’t until October. So then, what was it for? Curious, he opened the box. Inside was a belt buckle with the image of a lion etched in black. OK, it actually looked pretty cool, and Keith tried it on, it fit his belt like it was made for it. But then, a flash of light emanated from it, and the next thing Keith knew, a little lion with a black mane and violet eyes was floating before him.

“Ah!” yelped Keith as he fell backwards, onto his bed. “Wh-what are you? Shiro!”

“No, sh! You can’t tell anybody about me!”

“Then what are you?”

“I’m a magical being called an arusin, my name is Blachu. I merge with the belt buckle to give you superpowers!”

Keith blinked in surprise. “Say, say what? Superpowers?”

“Yes! I can make you go faster, leap higher, jump farther, than you have ever done before! My tail can even turn into a sword!”

“A sword?” asked Keith, perhaps with a bit too much longing in his voice.

“You like swords? Nice! Yes, my tail can turn into a sword! I think we’re going to have lots of fun!” Blachu quickly covered his stomach with his paws when it grumbled and grinned sheepishly. “Um, do you have anything to eat?”

Keith’s eyes widened. “The Chinese food!” He dashed out of his room, just in time to hear some knocking at the front door. He rushed over, grabbed the money, and rushed to the door, flinging it open. “Uh, hi.”

“Hello, here is your order. That will be twenty-five dollars and thirteen cents.” Keith quickly counted out the money, and realized Shiro rounded up to twenty-six and added four dollars.

“Right, um, here you go,” said Keith, handing him the wad of bills.

“Thank you, have a wonderful day!” replied the driver quite cheerfully as he exchanged the food for the money.

“Thanks, and the same to you!” replied Keith as the driver walked away. He knew Shiro would kill him if he wasn’t at least somewhat cordial. He quickly shut the front door, locked it, and let out a breath. He set the food on the table as he glanced at the clock, it was pretty early, not even five yet. Then he noticed the sad, hungry little face of Blachu. He reached into the bag, fished around for a bit, before pulling out a dumpling and handing it to Blachu. “Here, try this.” Blachu inched forward and sniffed it.

“What is it?”

“It’s a dumpling. You haven’t been out for long, have you?” asked Keith as Blachu took a few licks.

“No, it’s been several years since any of us has been out.” Blachu decided that dumplings tasted good, took the food from Keith, and began chewing on it.

“Any of us?”

Blachu nodded as he swallowed before replying with, “Yes, there are seven of us total, five cats and two mice. We cats do the majority of the fighting while the two mice, though they are excellent warriors, are better off using their powers, the power of quintessence. They can revert all damage done by a monster, like nothing had happened. We cats must protect them at all costs because without them, nothing could go back to normal.”

“And, what are these monsters? Do you have a special power?”

“The monsters vary, sometimes they are true monsters and must be completely destroyed, sometimes they are people being controlled by an evil entity, and we must find the symbol of their controller to break the spell and enable the mice to revert them back to normal people. And yes, we do have a special power, it’s called forming Voltron!”

“Huh?”

“When the five cats are together, we can form a giant robot! I am the head and chest, the cheetah is the right arm, the lynx is the left arm, the panther is the right leg, and the tiger is the left leg. Then there are the two mice, the white house mouse and the brown field mouse.” Blachu paused as he took another bite and glanced at Keith oddly.

“Uh, what? Why are you looking at me like that for?”

“Oh, um, it’s just that, the holders, or the paladins, of the black lion and the white mouse tend to fall in love and get married,” blurted Blachu.

Keith blinked. “Say what?”

“Keith, is everything alright?” Keith and Blachu paused and slowly glanced at the bathroom door before Keith snatched up Blachu and the dumpling, rushed into his room and began taking out the few homework assignments he had.

“Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s fine! Just, just one of the problems was worded weird, that’s all!” Keith quickly shouted back. He and Blachu let out a breath when they heard Shiro laughing.

“Alright. Did the Chinese food come?”

“Yeah, about a couple of minutes ago,” replied Keith.

“Good. I’ll be out in a minute to take care of it.”

“Alright!” Keith let out a grin as Blachu chuckled softly before letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Dumplings are good. Can I try the rest of the Chinese food?”

“Alright, I’ll see if I can sneak it in here for you.”

“Thanks! Oh, aren’t you wondering?”

“Wondering about what?”

“You haven’t asked why you yet! Everyone else I’ve ever been with asked that question.”

“Well, would it be weird if I said because this felt right, like, I’m meant to do this?”

“Whoa, you’re already thinking like that?” asked Blachu.

“Yeah, well, before, when I was in foster care, I felt . . . lost. I wanted to know what my purpose was. When Shiro came and got me out, becoming my legal guardian, I thought I had something of a purpose, making sure that he was alright, but, it didn’t seem like it was what I was meant to do. Then I met some people, I got it the most when I met this girl today . . .”

“Ooohhhh,” said Blachu.

“Hey, don’t you start either,” Keith mumbled.

“But you do like her,” said Blachu with a grin.

“Didn’t you say that whoever’s with you gets together with the white mouse?”

“Yeah, but you don’t know if she is the white mouse,” quipped Blachu. The two became quiet as they heard the bathroom door open and Shiro’s footsteps walking into the dining room as he hummed. Keith moaned.

“I’m so glad he’s not a music teacher.” Blachu snickered. Just then the phone rang. “Oh good.”

“Hello? Oh, hello Mr. Holt! I actually wanted to talk to you . . . wait, what?” There was a pause. “No, I haven’t seen Katie since school ended.” Another pause. “Say what? A robotic what is attacking the city?” Keith and Blachu glanced at each other in alarm.

“A robeast,” whispered Blachu. Keith jumped up and walked to his door. “No, no, I’ll head out right now to look for them. I’ll bring them to my house until everything passes over, alright? And I’ll call you when I get back. You’re welcome sir.” Keith opened the door to his room as Shiro returned the phone to its receiver.

“Shiro? What was that about?”

“Apparently Mr. Holt is worried, Katie’s not back yet, and there’s some kind of robotic beast attacking the city. I’m going out to find her. You’re staying here.”

“Wait, what?”

“In case anyone else calls. If Katie’s still out, that means she’s still with Lance and Hunk. If their families call, I want you to let them know I’m looking for them. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“But, Shiro!” began Keith, only to be cut off by Shiro closing the front door behind him. “Ugh! Blachu!” Blachu zipped around the corner. “How do you merge with the belt?”

“You have to say, Blachu, roar out!”

“What? Oh, never mind, we’ll talk about that later. Blachu . . .” Keith was interrupted by the phone. “Well, at least it’s now rather than later,” he mumbled as he quickly picked up the phone. “Hello, Takshishi residence.”

“Hello, is Shiro Takashi there?” came a female voice.

“No, this is his brother Keith. May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Mrs. McClain, I’m Lance’s mother. I’m with Hunk’s folks right now, neither one have come home! And there’s a monster on the loose!”

“Yes ma’am, I know, that’s why Shiro’s not here. We just got a call from Principal Holt, Katie’s not back yet, and since she tends to hang out with Lance and Hunk, well, we’re on our way to look for them. As soon as we find them, we’ll bring them here and call you to let you know that they’re fine.”

“Oh thank you so much! You’re such an angel! I could just hug you!”

Keith bit his lip to keep from sounding disgusted. “Yes, I’m sure you would. Um, could you please pass the word to Hunk’s folks? We’ll be sure to call you when we’re back.”

“Thank you again so much!”

“You’re welcome. Um, bye!” said Keith with a smile, trying to get her off the phone. Not to be rude or anything, but, he needed to go.

“Good bye, and good luck!”

“Right,” he said, before he hung up the phone. He turned to Blachu, “Let’s do this. Blachu, roar out!” Blachu flew into the belt buckle, and the changes happened instantly. Keith was in a red and white suit with a black mane-like hoodie. But he didn’t pause to glance at his new outfit, he rushed out the door, leaping and bounding through the streets. Where should he go first? How was he going to find the robeast? Was a mouse already on the scene? He hoped not, as Blachu had said, they were good fighters, but they were needed to repair the damage the robeasts, or any monsters, had caused. Apparently none of the cats could do it, only the mice. Which did make them pretty important. With a grunt, he leapt to the top of the buildings to try and get an idea of where to start looking. It didn’t take long to see the path the robeast had carved out of several buildings, and the throngs of screaming people running in the opposite direction. “Well, that was easy,” he muttered as he took off in the direction the screaming people were running from.

“Katie!” Keith paused, was that the Katie Shiro was looking for? He glanced around, sure enough, it was Katie Holt, dangling from a twenty-story building. How did she get up there? Lance and Hunk were running towards her. “Hang on!” shouted Lance. Keith let out a soft growl, they weren’t going to make it in time, she was about to lose her grip.

“Lance, Hunk!” Katie called out, right as she lost her grip and fell. Keith jumped for her, grabbed a hold of her, flipped in midair, and landed on his feet.

“Whoa, that was awesome!” exclaimed Hunk as he and Lance approached the two.

“Team Voltron! I have your precious mouse lady! If you don’t show up when I get to zero, I will cut her in half!” came a voice over the din. Keith let out a gasp, that was the robeast, and it had a mouse! He practically shoved Katie into Lance’s arms.

“Take care of her!” he shouted before turning and rushing off in the direction of the voice.

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!” That’s right, keep counting as loud as possible, lead me to you, even though it’s a trap, though Keith. He rushed down a couple of streets and turned a couple of corners, he could tell he was getting close. “Five! Four! Three!” He turned another corner, and saw the robeast, looking like an odd contraption of robot and bat. He had his sword out, over the spot where the mouse lady, the white mouse, in fact, was struggling with two poles wrapped around her. She just about had enough room to squeeze out and drop to the ground. Keith unclipped his tail and rushed forward as it changed into a sword. “Two! One! Zero!” The white mouse dropped to the ground and the sword came crashing down on her. But Keith had arrived.

“Stay down!” he ordered as he lifted up his sword to meet the robeast’s sword, hoping that it could take it. A sharp clang rang out as the two blades met, but Keith’s sword stayed intact, and Keith found he could match the robeast’s strength.

“The black lion of Voltron,” muttered the robeast as its lips curled into an evil grin. So, it was looking for the Voltron team, but why? Keith quickly glanced over its form, he couldn’t see a symbol that indicated that this robeast was under control of somebody, but Keith had a feeling it was, and whoever was controlling it was looking for Voltron for some reason. Keith pushed up on his sword, sending the robeast’s sword up, and kicking it as hard as he could to give him and the white mouse some breathing space. He turned to give her a hand up.

“Are you alright?” he asked her. She took his hand and stood up.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied with a smile. She paused, and the two gazed into each other’s eyes. Did she know that every other person who had had the white mouse would end up with whoever had the black lion? But that wasn’t the only thought in Keith’s head. Why did she seem so familiar? He snapped out of his thoughts, they had a mission to finish.

“Were you expecting to take care of the robeast yourself?” he asked.

She seemed to shake herself from her own thoughts before replying with, “No, just keeping it from hurting innocent civilians until you arrived, that’s all.” She pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms. He didn’t even realize he had still been holding it. “Though, if you hadn’t gotten here when you did . . .” she began.

He walked towards her, finishing the thought, “We would have lost you, and from what my asurin was telling me about the mice, that’s not a good thing.” The robeast could be heard groaning, reminding Keith that they weren’t out of danger yet. He readied his sword, and noticed that she had a whip. “Wait, is that a whip?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replied. Keith thought fast, if the robeast’s symbol wasn’t on the front or that sides that he could see, then maybe it was on its back. An idea began to form in his head and a grin began to form on his face.

“I think I have an idea. You see those poles there and there?” he asked, pointing out two poles opposite of each other.

The girl let out a gasp. “You want me to trip him?” Keith’s grin grew bigger, she was smart and caught on quick, he liked that.

“Yup, but keep your whip slack until I give you the signal, alright?”

“Right, but, what’s the signal?”

Keith thought quickly. “I’ll nod at you.”

“Got it,” she said before taking off for the poles. Keith kept his focus on the robeast, he didn’t want it to guess at what his plan was, nor did he want it to catch the white mouse again. The robeast finally got up and locked eyes with Keith.

“Hand over the belt buckle of the black lion, and I will stop rampaging this city!”

Keith scoffed, “What are you talking about? We’re just getting warmed up.” The robeast let out a roar and charged, but Keith didn’t move a muscle. He was waiting for the robeast to reach the right spot before signalling the white mouse to pull the whip taut. He waited and watched, and when the robeast finally reached the right spot, Keith glanced over at the white mouse and nodded. She pulled, and the robeast went tumbling over. Keith jumped up and took a quick look over the robeast’s back. Ah-ha, there it was! A glowing purple symbol, there, on the left side of its back, though, it looked oddly familiar. Keith brought his sword down on the symbol and heard a distinct snap. He glanced at the white mouse as he jumped off, shouting, “Use your powers now!”

The white mouse raced forward and raised her whip high, shouting “Power of Quintessence!” Keith watched in amazement as the whip detached from its handle and whirled around the robeast in a pale purple whirlwind before expanding to include the entire city. When it returned to the white mouse’s hand, the city was back to normal and the robeast was a normal, yet confused, person.

“Whoa!” Keith whispered. He shook himself out of his stupor and ran towards the white mouse. “That, that was amazing!”

She grinned at him. “Thank you! Whoa.” Keith reached out his hands and grabbed her shoulders to steady her as she stumbled. “I guess that’s why we need two mice,” she chuckled.

“Are you going to be alright?” asked Keith, worried that she had used too much power. They had better find the rest of the team and fast if they were expected to make it through the day without collapsing, especially her.

“I, I think so, just need to sit for a minute,” she replied as she allowed him to steer her towards a chair. Keith tried to figure out what made her so familiar to him when they were rather rudely interrupted.

“Oh wow! That was so cool! How did you guys do that?” Keith nearly blew his cover by letting out a soft growl when he realized it was Lance who had spoken as he recorded them on his camcorder. Katie and Hunk weren’t far behind him. Of course, they had followed Keith. But he only got even more annoyed when Lance tried to get close.

“Hey, back up! Can’t you tell she needs some rest?” Keith snapped as he pushed Lance back from the white mouse. Why couldn’t the idiot just leave girls alone?

“So, you’re superheroes, huh? What are your names?” asked Lance, training the camcorder on Keith. Keith let out a moan, he really hadn’t thought of a name. Well, wait, what about all those Japanese stories that Shiro’s family liked to tell? Wasn’t there a lion creature? Oh yes.

“Ugh, you can call me Komainu.”

“Komainu?” asked the others. Clearly only Shiro and Keith really knew that much about Japanese mythology.

“Yes, the guardian lions of Japanese mythology. You must know your Japanese mythology quite well,” came another voice. Keith’s eyes widened as Shiro walked on to the scene, he just hoped Shiro didn’t recognize him.

“Mr. Takashi!” blurted Hunk.

“Just Shiro outside of school, Hunk,” came Shiro’s reply. Keith quickly thought of a way to get out of there, Shiro had found the three he had been looking for, it was only a matter of time before he’d take them back to their home.

Keith quickly spoke, “Yeah, well, I need to go, have a lot of other things to take care of today.” He paused and turned to Allura, he was still worried about her. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

She nodded at him, a soft smile on her face. “Yes, I will be, thank you.”

“Oh, we didn’t get your name!” blurted Lance. Keith rolled his eyes and bit his tongue, someday, that kid was going to get it.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, I’m a little too tired to think right now. I think I should head home and sleep. I’ll get back to you on the name.”

“Hmm, how about . . . Little Mouse? I mean, no offence, but you look like a mouse,” said Hunk. Keith had to agree with that, she looked really cute as well. But, what about the other mouse? What name would the other mouse have?

“Well, that is the idea, but there is going to be another mouse joining our team, so, I don’t know if that will really work,” she replied.

Keith shrugged, the name was already growing on him. “We can figure that out when the other mouse arrives. For now, I think Little Mouse works.”

“Hey, shouldn’t you be going somewhere?” asked Lance, somewhat annoyed.

Keith shot him a glare. “And I will be, once I make sure that you stop annoying Little Mouse long enough to go home and get some rest.”

“Um, I didn’t agree to the name . . .”

“Hey it works,” said Lance with a shrug.

“It is kind of catchy,” remarked Keith. He just didn’t want to admit just yet that he thought it was as cute as she was.

“Oh, alright, Little Mouse it is. You’re right Komainu, it is kind of catchy.”

“Glad you agree. Now, are you going to go home, or should I carry you there?” he asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“No! No, no, no, thank you, I’ll, I’ll go home now, thank you.”

“But can’t you stay a little longer? There are so many questions I want to ask!” quipped Lance.

“You’re going to have to wait for a time when she’s not so tired, alright?”

“Komainu has a point, you should let her go home and try again next time, alright?” said Shiro as he placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Oh, alright. As long you promise me an exclusive!”

“I’ll consider it,” replied Little Mouse before she lept away. Keith quickly followed suit, going off in one direction before quickly changing course and following Little Mouse from a distance. He could tell that she sensed him following her, but being a black lion meant he could use the shadows to his advantage and managed to keep out of her sight. When he noticed that she seemed to be getting close to her destination, he quickly turned and rushed back home. He had to get back before Shiro and the others! Panting, he realized with a grin that he made it back before them and dashed into the house.

“Um . . . Blachu, roar out!” Blachu came flying out of the belt as Keith’s suit disappeared. Keith took the Chinese food, fished out two dumplings, and placed the rest in the fridge. “Whew, that was close!”

“No kidding!’ replied Blachu between happy mouthfuls of dumpling. “And we still made it back before they did!”

“And before that robeast could kill Little Mouse!”

Blachu seemed to shiver, “That was a real close call.”

“So, how did I do for my first day?” asked Keith.

“Awesome! You’re really good! Almost as good as my last paladin!” Blachu paused and seemed to grow sad.

“Blachu?”

“I really miss my old paladin, we had such great times. You remind me so much of him. But, I guess that’s part of the reason why I like you a lot, Keith.”

“I like you too, Blachu. And it’s alright, you can still miss him.” Blachu flew to Keith’s cheek and rubbed his cheek against it. Keith let out a soft sigh and rubbed back. The two paused, there was the sound of a key turning in the lock. “Quick, Blachu, my jacket!” whispered Keith as he held it open. Blachu ducked in before Keith made his way to the door and opened it. “Shiro!”

“Hey! Sorry it took so long, but, we kind of had a little adventure,” said Shiro as he ushered in Lance, Hunk and Katie.

“There were two superheroes!” blurted Hunk.

“And Komainu saved me!” Katie quickly added.

“And Little Mouse is so adorable!” cooed Lance.

“Wait, what?” OK, first Allura, and now Little Mouse. Did this guy ever take a break?

Shiro let out a soft chuckle. “I’ll let them explain, I have some phone calls to make.”

“Oh, Mrs. McClain did call, she was with Hunk’s family.”

Shiro nodded. “Thanks Keith.” He went to making the calls while Lance, Hunk, and Katie explained everything that had happened. When the robeast had attacked, the group had been on their way to the mall to take a look at the new game system being shown that day. But then the crowd running form the robeast came in, broke them up, and Katie retreated to the closest, tallest building to see if she could find her friends when the robeast walked by, smashing through the building, leaving Katie trapped with nowhere to go but down. From there on out, Keith knew the rest, but it wasn’t hard to add in exclamations of awe or astonishment as Keith had no idea how awesome he looked when he moved, he just acted, thinking only of the mission, destroying the robeast. They also convinced Keith to instruct them on some Japanese mythology, eventually learning not just about the komainu, but also about a few other large cat-like creatures. Shiro eventually interrupted them with a little announcement.

“Listen up everybody, I’ve called your folks, they’re going to meet us at Olive Garden.”

“Alright, food! I’m starving!” quipped Hunk, the first one out the door.

“Don’t you ever think of anything else besides food?” quipped Lance as he followed him.

“Don’t you ever think of anything else besides cute girls?” Hunk shot back.

“Uh-oh, shots fired,” quipped Katie.

“Well, I’m taking Hunk’s side, I’m hungry. Three dumplings isn’t exactly very filling.”

Shiro blinked as he locked the door. “Then, where’s the rest of the food?”

“In the fridge,” replied Keith. “Hey! No, you’re sitting in the back!”

“But I called shotgun!” replied Lance as Keith dragged him out and practically tossed him in the back with Hunk and Katie.

“Too bad, this is Shiro’s car, I own shotgun.”

“If you two are going to fight about it, I’m giving it to Katie!” stated Shiro firmly. The two sat down and buckled their seatbelts grumbling. It was a little while after Shiro had pulled out of the driveway that Hunk attempted to break the tension by talking about Italian food. Katie soon joined in, being Italian herself, and the conversation eventually got the other three to open up about what they were going to get. And though Lance was still annoying, talking about how cute both Allura and Little Mouse were in one breath, Keith’s spirits were still high. He had found his place, and quite possibly a future girlfriend, according to Blachu, but he had never been happier.

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: It’s All Hype!

i feel like i’m severely going to regret taking this much on but fuck it, YOLO, im dead inside :))))

in honor of Ladynoir July i’m going to desperately try and do one multi-chapter for every week of the month! so that means this first week i’m going to be using Days 1-7 to make a multi-chapter, and so on and so forth until the month is over. we........will see how that goes lol

but in the meantime enjoy the first story!

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[Day 2: Banter]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Title: It’s All Hype! Pairings: Ladynoir (Ladybug x Chat Noir), Adrienette (Adrien x Marinette) Summary: Alya accidentally gets the Internet in a frenzy after announcing that Ladybug and Chat Noir are dating, but the two heroes are adamant about correcting the error and making sure the world knows that they’re just friends. So Alya proposes a staged public break up to set everything right.

In hindsight, she really underestimated how utterly freaking difficult that would be.

Day 1: Patience

“Ah, my lovely Lady, bless our good fortune that I may be able to accompany you home on such a cold Autumn’s night. Perchance the stars may be able to lead us back to your marble palace before dawn.”

Ladybug threw her head back and cackled. “You’re such an idiot, what are you even saying?”

Chat Noir scoffed. “Such a sharp tongue, my Lady. Whatever would your father say? Although, I suppose I could lock this secret away between the two of us should you permit me to seal it with a friendly kiss.”

Ladybug stuck her tongue out. “I’ll seal it with my foot up your nose if you’d like.”

“So not only does that sound impossible, but that sounds like a sinus infection waiting to happen,” he replied. “Do you know where your feet have been? I could catch a disease.”

“The depths of your dramatics are truly unfathomable,” Ladybug deadpanned.

“You know, my best friend tells me the same thing,” Chat Noir wondered. “I was thinking of getting involved in acting. I played a detective once. I was pretty good.”

“You should play a knight or something,” Ladybug suggested. “You know, really play up the whole needless chivalry and romantic waxing that you’re so good at. I mean, you’re getting practice for it right now.”

Chat Noir turned his head so that he could stare at Ladybug whose thighs he was holding as he carried her piggyback across the Parisian rooftops. “I’m helping you get home and you’re complaining? What do you want from me, woman?”

“It’s just a sprained ankle! I could’ve limped home just fine. Or just swung back home without putting pressure on it.”

“Nonsense, my Lady! ‘Tis my job as your valiant prince to return you safely to your kingdom should you fall ill!”

“Fine, you goof, whatever makes you feel better, I guess,” Ladybug smirked, hugging her arms tighter around his neck. “Although you should add valiant prince to your repertoire. Start making a list for when you go to auditions.”

“Ooooh, will you be my manager please?”

“Am I getting a wage?”

“Of course, you’ll receive my utmost respect, admiration, and loyalty.”

“I get that anyway, but I’ll accept your payment.”

They both just finished up with two weeks of brutal exams at school, and Chat Noir had practically begged for the two of them to spend a day together that weekend in celebration. It had been a while since she spent time with Chat Noir that didn’t involve patrolling the city or dealing with akumas, and she thought it would be fun to see if she could spend the whole day with him. They’d been walking around the city, getting coffee together downtown, and having footraces on the rooftops before Ladybug had slipped on a chimney and twisted her ankle. It was nothing that some ice and a day’s rest wouldn’t fix but Chat Noir practically had a conniption about it and insisted that he help her at least part of the way home. They were at least a mile away from the bakery and her foot was throbbing a little, so she decided to let it go. Besides, if she was being honest with herself, she really didn’t want to cut the day short sooner than they had to.

Ladybug pressed her cheek against Chat’s and smiled when he leaned into it. “We should do this more often,” she said. “Sometimes, we feel like coworkers.”

“Coworkers?” Chat Noir laughed.

“Yeah, you know! Those people who only see each other during working hours, maybe hang out during their lunch breaks a couple of days during the week, and then never see each other again until the next work day.”

Chat Noir squeezed Ladybug’s wrist. “I’m pretty sure that most coworkers don’t know how many freckles are on their other coworker’s cheeks.”

“You don’t know that either.”

“Do so! Forty-two. I counted that time we were trapped in an alley for an hour.”

“Oh yeah,” Ladybug grinned. “I think that was the time I realized you had little blue flecks in your eyes.”

“See? Not coworkers. Coworkers don’t have the patience required to learn about the people who work with them. You and I are different.”

“I guess that’s true,” Ladybug agreed. “If I have the patience to sit through all one hundred and fifteen of your puns, that must be something special.”

“A hundred and fifteen?”

“I too am a very good counter.”

Chat Noir gripped her tighter as he crouched down and made a wide jump over an alleyway before turning to the left to head down a busier avenue. “So basically what you’re telling me is that you’re giving me permission to remain in charge of scheduling our friendship dates.”

“I’ll give you permission so long as you don’t get carried away with them.”

“You have no faith in me, my Lady. I know better than to do anything outlandish.”

“Free next Saturday then?” Ladybug asked. She pointed ahead of her. “You can leave me four blocks down. It’ll leave me close enough to my house.”

“Roger that!” he replied. “And I’m extremely free next Saturday. Wanna meet at the Louvre and walk around the palace a bit? We can take pics.”

She giggled and pressed closer to him when a cold wind blew against them. “I’ll try to show up all fresh-faced for you.”

Chat Noir started slowing down as they got closer to the point where Ladybug asked him to drop her off, but she didn’t have the heart to point out that he was trying to prolong their time together. Instead, she let him take his time and carefully let her down onto the roof while she awkwardly leaned heavily on her other foot.

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok? You could stay on my back and I can keep my eyes closed while I take you home.”

“Then you’re going to get hurt too,” Ladybug teased. “Don’t worry, it really is only a few blocks away. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Alright,” Chat Noir smiled. “Make sure you ice it and wrap it up with something. And keep it elevated.”

“I will.” Ladybug cupped his caw and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for being so chivalrous and taking this poor little princess home.”

Chat Noir chuckled and placed a kiss on the backs of her knuckles. “It’s no trouble, you know that. But get some rest. If an akuma pops up tomorrow, I don’t know how well I’ll handle on my own.”

Ladybug twirled her hair. “Ah, what would you do without me?”

Chat Noir laughed and started backing up so that he could backtrack home. “Not much, you know that.” He jutted his thumb behind him. “Gotta get home, but I’ll see you later okay?”

Ladybug waved to him and stayed on the roof until Chat Noir was completely out of sight. She did her best to keep off her foot and swing on her yoyo as she looped around her neighborhood for a bit to make sure no one saw her sneak back home. She meandered for about five minutes before she landed on the roof of the bakery and slipped back into her bedroom.

Marinette detransformed when she landed on her bed and carefully climbed down from her loft so that she could grab her cellphone from her desk. She checked the four missed calls from Alya while she opened the latch to her room and asked her mom for some ice for the ankle, saying that she twisted coming down from her bed. If it was this late at night, she figured that whatever Alya was calling her about had to have been important so she called her back while she lifted her foot onto the desk to keep it elevated like Chat Noir had told her.

“ Marinette!!” Alya screamed on the second ring. “ Answer your damn phone!! ”

“I was downstairs doing something, geez,” Marinette frowned. “I’m here now. What’s up?”

“ Okay, don’t freak out, but do freak out, because you would not believe the pics that I took today while Chat Noir and Ladybug were out.”

Marinette rolled her eyes fondly. “Oh yeah, I heard about that. I saw them running around when I went for a walk today.”

“ It was ridiculously cool, I’ve never seen them just hang out all day like that. But that’s not even the best part .”

“Let me guess. It’s gonna get you a crap ton of followers and you’re going to be hailed as an investigative genius.”

“ Ugh, you know me so well girlie .”

Marinette laughed, but turned her head towards the latch when she heard her mother calling her down so that she could wrap an icepack to her ankle. “Hey, is it okay if you tell me about it tomorrow? I’ve gotta deal with something right now, but I’m all ears in the morning. I promise.”

“ Everything okay?”

Marinette winced. “I may….have possible twisted my ankle coming down the stairs to my bed?”

“ You’re a disaster,” Alya chuckled over the phone. “ Alright. Well, I’ll post the pics really late tonight so you’ll probably see them in the morning. But still call me, okay?”

“I will I promise. Night, Alya!”

Just as she expected, Marinette’s ankle was hardly anything at all and she woke up the next morning with her ankle feeling a little tender, but definitely well enough to walk on. Lucky for her. She wasn’t sure if her parents were going to let her live down the embarrassment of a self-inflicted injury that was the result of climbing down from a bed she’d been sleeping in for sixteen years.

She’d tried staying up the night before to wait for Alya’s blog to update, but knowing Alya she stayed up until three in the morning and didn’t update it until long after Marinette had fallen asleep. Marinette sat in front of her computer and pulled up her bookmarks, bracing herself for whatever silly photograph that Alya had decided to blow up today so that she could pretend to be excited about it when Alya called.

But the moment Marinette loaded the first page of the blog, she cursed loudly and yanked on her pigtails.

The first post — pinned to the top so that absolutely nobody would miss it — was a photoset of Chat Noir carrying Ladybug home last night, of Ladybug kissing Chat Noir on the cheek, and Chat Noir placing a kiss on the backs of her knuckles while the two of them had equally wide smiles on her face. Marinette didn’t really need to see the headline on the post to know what was going on, but it was kind of hard to miss ‘LADYNOIR CONFIRMED!!!!!’ in big block letters across the screen right underneath the pictures. She scrolled down to the short text that followed the pictures and sighed in frustration.

Hello my fellow Ladybloggers!

No your eyes are not deceiving you. Our patience has finally paid off and I can finally update you with some pretty monumental developments in the relationship between our two favorite superheroes. Now you can take a look at these pics and decide for yourselves, but if you ask me, that right up there is nothing short of L.O.V.E. Think these cute kids are dating? Maybe setting up for something more serious? Tell me in the comments and bask in the shipping feels! :D

XOXO Alya <3

“Alya, I’m going to kill you,” Marinette muttered. The comments were an absolute nightmare. Everyone was fixating on these photos that Alya must have grabbed on her camera phone when she was out last night. The theories were absolutely ridiculous. There were a couple of people gushing over their close friendship and partnership, and Marinette appreciated that at the very least. But the vast majority of commenters were all fixated on just one thing:

Ladybug and Chat Noir were very obviously in love and dating.

With a sick feeling in her stomach, Marinette checked Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and checked all of the Ladybug and Chat Noir tags. Sure enough, the photos were trending, and it had only been about nine hours since Alya had posted the photos. All the pictures were getting liked,  retweeted, reblogged, and shared on literally every social media website that Marinette could find, and she was convinced that if the whole city of Paris hadn’t seen these pictures, they were going to before Marinette even had a chance to finish breakfast. Freaking Alya. Marinette was two seconds away from showing up to her doorstep and throttling her.

Marinette waited until Tikki finished up her cookie breakfast before transforming and swinging out a couple of blocks away until she was sitting on top of a flower shop. She pulled out her compact and made a call to Chat Noir, hoping that his kwami would be able to tell that she was trying to get through to him even if he wasn’t transformed. Luckily, he answered on her third call, looking like he was out of breath and running while he was talking.

“ Please tell me you saw the Ladyblog this morning.”

“How could I not?” Ladybug frowned. “It’s all over freaking Twitter too. She only posted them last night how is this even possible?”

“ I mean, if I’m being honest, with the way that Alya girl and all of her followers talk about the two of us, I’m surprised it’s not on the damn news.”

Ladybug groaned. “God this is a mess. What are we going to do about this, people are never going to leave us alone about this.”

“ I have no idea but this is super not cool,” Chat Noir insisted. “ Where are you? Can we meet? I sort of want to put this fire out as soon as possible if that’s all the same to you .”

“Trust me, we’re totally on the same page,” Ladybug grumbled. “I’m pretty sure we stopped by her house last Christmas when we had to deal with that Santa Claus akuma. Do you remember the address?”

“ Pretty sure. It’s a Sunday, she’ll probably be home. Wanna stop by for a quick visit?”

“Sounds good to me. Loop around to the Notre Dame and I’ll meet you there.”

It didn’t take them very long to head on over to Alya’s house, all the while ignoring all the teenagers who were pointing to them from the street and yelling about how cute a couple they made. They both landed on Alya’s balcony and saw her sitting on the couch of her living room alone and updating her blog. Chat Noir reached forward and knocked insistently on the glass door until Alya looked up and smiled brightly at the two heroes. She practically threw her computer off her lap and scrambled to the doors to unlock them and come out to her balcony to meet them. “Holy shit!” she screamed out as she bounced outside, pulling a coat on along the way. “What are you guys doing here? Did you see the piece I did on you guys?”

“Yeah,” Ladybug muttered. “About that….we need to talk.”

Chat Noir scratched the back of his head. “You. uh….wouldn’t mind taking that down, would you? You see, this is all actually just a huge misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?” Alya echoed. “Was that not the two of you being all kissy and touchy last night?”

“I-I mean it was!” Ladybug amended. “But it’s not like that, honest.”

“We’re not dating,” Chat Noir laughed nervously. “Seriously. That’s just how the two of us are, you know?”

Alya crossed her arms and smirked. “Ah, I get it. You’re just really close . Right. Gotcha.”

“Why are you saying it like it’s a lie?” Ladybug frowned.

“I don’t mean anything by it, I swear,” Alya laughed. “Forget I said anything. I mean, I’m happy to take things down but it kind of already went viral. I can’t really control anyone who puts up mirrors of it on other websites. I mean, Lord, have you seen Reddit lately? That’s all anyone’s talking about today.”

“It’s only been nine hours!” Ladybug exclaimed.

“You really underestimate how much this city ships you two,” Alya snorted.

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Perfect. Give it like two days and we’re going to be a meme.”

“We’re likely going to be a reaction image at best, my Lady,” Chat Noir assured her.

“Chat, you’re so not helping.”

Alya cleared her throat. “Hey, uh. You mind if I ask a question?”

“About what?” Chat Noir asked.

“Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve made theories about you two,” Alya pointed out. “Granted this one blew up like crazy and I totally didn’t see it coming, but Ladynoir has trended on the Ladyblog like four times in the past. I obviously don’t mean to make you guys uncomfortable, but I didn’t think this sort of thing would bother you.”

Ladybug big her lip and shared a gaze with Chat Noir. “Well….things might have….changed recently.”

“Changed?”

“It’s just that it’s particularly awkward this time around,” Chat Noir explained. “Trust us, we’re totally happy to let fans do their guessing and support us whatever way is appropriate. But this time it’s just toeing a really weird line for a couple of reasons.”

“Well, what’s the reason?” Alya asked. “If you want me to change the wording of the post I can try to do that.”

Ladybug rubbed her arm and sighed. “Well….the two of us are dating.”

Alya blinked a few times before her eyes widened. “Wait a minute you two are dating each other!?”

“No, no! Not each other!” Chat Noir amended quickly. “We’re both dating two different people is what we mean. She has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend.”

Alya’s mouth formed into a small ‘o.’ “I….am seeing the issue.”

“Don’t get us wrong it’s not like our partners know who we are, but it’s still just really awkward for the two of us, that’s all,” Ladybug explained. “It’d put our minds at ease if you could just take them down and stay on the safe side.”

“Shit,” Alya sighed. “I’m so sorry. I mean, like I said, I have no problems taking the pictures down and correcting the post but it’s really too late for that. People already latched onto this and there are going to be rumors about all of this spreading around to other blogs no matter what I say.”

“I hate the Internet,” Chat Noir sighed.

“Well, is there anything else we can do? You’re the social media expert!”

Alya drummed her fingers against her pursed lips as she paced around the balcony. “Well, there’s one thing we could do. But it’s a little complicated and it’s going to take some effort from the two of you.”

“Well what is it?” Ladybug urged.

Alya shrugged. “Well, how else do you counter a celebrity hook up? Follow it up with a celebrity break up.”

Chat Noir shook his head. “Hold on a second, you want us to break up?”

“That’s right,” Alya grinned. “Well, a fake break up technically. Since apparently you two aren’t dating which, oh my God, I’m still really freaking out about that because are you sure? Like totally positive?”

Ladybug glared. “No, actually, some days I wake up and I conveniently forget my boyfriend. Tends to happen quite a bit.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Alya amended. “Totally platonic, nothing going on, I screwed up and jumped to conclusions. I have learned my lesson.”

“I mean, that would work,” Chat Noir reasoned. “The fake break up, I mean. Might be a bit abrupt but hey! Let everyone else theorize about that.”

“Ugh, alright. I guess that’s our best option at the moment,” Ladybug said.

“It shouldn’t be too complicated,” Alya promised. “If I could get it on video and post it on the blog as solid proof, that’d be our best bet. All the rumors drop, you two are strictly friends and partners, and everything ends happily.”

Chat Noir raised his hand. “Uh, slight problem. Public break-ups are not one of my areas of expertise.”

“Oh don’t you two even sweat that part. Consider me your unofficial publicist,” Alya winked. “If it’s a fake break up you’re looking for I can orchestrate one no problem! Besides, consider this an apology for getting you two into this mess in the first place. I insist.”

Ladybug smiled. “I appreciate that. Although, if you don’t mind my asking, exactly what did you have in mind in terms of a break up?”

Alya clasped her hands under her chin and smiled innocently at the two of them. “Oh my darling heroes of Paris, I’m so glad you asked.”

[sublimazion3]

Miroku san, so... you are back from japan? ... miroku san, with due all respect, you just living the dream of most of us that following u here; meeting the members! Irl in the freaking japan!! And no long post about it?? Not even what u eat there?? Did u go to akb48 cafe? Did u buy any akb48 limited edition goods or any akb mags??? How was the handshake event ? Was it hot?many ppl there? how was the security? Many foreigner there? Or ppl look at u curiously?? Pls... spill us the beans... :')

I’m still in Japan, friend! I’m meeting the girls at the AKB HS event tomorrow (it’s actually today?). Last week I only met Haruka and it was HKT HS event. Tomorrow I’m meeting this year’s Kami7 + Yuki and Sayanee. It’s gonna be fun and super intense. 

As for what I’m eating… I’m not really a person who takes food pictures or talks about food so much in general, ‘cause I simply like to enjoy it. Taste it at the moment. 

I spent 4 days in Osaka and some of the things I ate included Takoyaki, Okonomiyaki, Horumon and Yakiniku. Simply because my Osaka-friends told me those were some of Osaka specialties, and they took me to eat those in very specific places, so I was like “HELL YES LET ME EAT THAT” and honestly it was all delicious. The rest of the time, I’m not kidding you, all I ate was sushi. And sashimi. And then I tried these Japanese kinda desserts kinda things but I hated them so yeah, those were really bad. I was supposed to spend only 2 days in Fukuoka, arriving at around 8PM, getting some sleep, waking up very early the next morning for the HS event, getting some sleep the night, and then waking up again super early the next morning and taking the plane for Tokyo. Due to the typhoon, though, since I was kinda scared, despite my friends were like, “yo, no problem, this is Japan, COME ON”, we stayed there two days after the HS event day. So I had all the time to eat the famous MENTAIKO(!) Haruka suggested me and then even eat a “Mont Blanc” dessert which I knew Haruka loves very much, which I liked thank god but that was probably because the dessert is original from Italy (lol). For dinner we just ate some food my friends cooked (lol), so no other Fukuoka specialties, since no one among my friends lived there and knew the place very well, so… Right now I’m in Tokyo, I arrived here around 4 days ago. I already tried Minami’s beloved Katsudon and it was AMAZINGLY GOOD, but, uhm, other than that, for the past three days I’ve been yakiniku and sushi addicted, really. So really sorry. But I’m in love, can’t help it. About the cafes, I haven’t gone to any so far because both NMB and HKT were closed early this year. I’ll definitely go to AKB’s one before I’ll go back to my country. 

I don’t think I’m gonna buy any magazines or limited edition goods because my room is FILLED with those and tbh I don’t really need them. I feel closer to the girls by having few goods that represent them, like Minami’s book and various pics, Miyuki’s fashion book and pics, Mayu’s PB and pics, Haruka’s PB and pics + the fan and towel I bought last week at the HS event which I’m totally gonna buy at tomorrow’s HS event as well, only with Mayu’s face on them. I’ve already got MANY magazines at home, I don’t really need any more of those if I can get the scans online and read the content from there. XD

The place IS hot, very hot. But I’m accostumed to it since in Italy it was just as hot. 

Security at the HS event last week was OK?

I didn’t see many foreigners, but it’s totally possible that I simply didn’t notice them. Lol I was too busy panicking and being the happiest person on the planet meeting Haruka, so…. 

I actually made friends with a couple of other Haruka oshis at the HS event last week who were curious about my clothing (the flag and hat XD). Nobody looked at me weirdly because many of them were dressed kinda weirdly as well, so. But these two guys were intrigued so we became kinda friends. I’m looking forward to meeting them tomorrow as well, at the AKB meeting. They said they were gonna go and say goodbye to Yuria since they said Sunday is gonna be her last HS event before graduation. 

Hope this was exhaustive enough. XD

[ayoda]

Rain is a good thing

(Quick note: If you're rading this blog, can you post something under the comment section, a simple "hello" will do. Just trying to gage our readership.)

Tuesday:

We started doing our share of odd jobs, many for the Kiyama Church and Pastor Oda (no relation). Jessey and the team helped gather garden debris which we disposed of at the local dump. I had the privilege of driving the small truck to the dump, it was my first real drive in Japan. Did I mention I finally got an International Driver’s License? I did OK, given the driving is on the left hand of the road, though I did switch on the windshield wiper more than a few times instead of the turn signal (yep, that’s also on the opposite side of the steering column).

Carrying one refrigerator down the stairs, hauling a new one up the stairs.

That’s Andrew with an old-fashioned broom, helping clear out the yard. We also moved / hauled away old furniture, a less-than-efficient washing machine, and the aforementioned refrigerator.

Now it was time for us to start our “official” duties with the Kyushu Christ Disaster Relief Center (KCDRC). We split the team up, Andrew and Tom went to share and practice English with kids at a middle high about 30 minutes away. Sorry, no pics (yet) but the kids were surprised (and pleased) that Andrew was fully bilingual, so they had a good time chatting with him. The other part of the team traveled a few miles down the road.

As I’d mentioned previously, the kasetsu jyuutaku (temporary housing) residents are not more than a few hundred square feet in size, housing entire families and sometimes multigenerational households. There are about four to five residential units per building. The kasetsu we visited today has 75 units, about half are still occupied.

At least once a week, the KCDRC coordinates a tea and social time with the residents at the different kasetsu locations they serve. It’s been going on for the past three (3) years, again they’re overdue in moving all of the residents out of the trailers and back to their neighborhoods, or whatever it is that remains. We did many activities besides serving tea, though Jorge is doing a fine job!

Our team consists of a couple of guys who are “healthy looking male specimens” (OK, I’m taking liberties with the translation, but you get the idea). The residents (mostly senior women) wanted Jorge, Gio and Jessey to show their strength. They set up Masako-Sensei to arm-wrestle Jorge (he claimed he was left-handed, so that made the match even). Masako-Sensei won this round.

Jessey demonstrated he’s a man of many tricks, specifically card tricks. He did a really nice job entertaining the residents, the mini-performance needed little translation.

As we prepared and coordinated our efforts with the KCDRC, they said they wanted us to provide activities that offered examples of American culture. So what could be more American than seniors playing Bingo? But we offered a bit of a twist. For the first game, we called out the numbers in Spanish, the second game in English, then the last game in Japanese. Of course, there were prizes. We also had Gio play a card, if he won everybody got a prize. That happened after the third game, the residents were quite pleased.

In addition to the emotional issues associated with loss, some of the residents become a bit apathetic about caring for their health, particularly when it comes to exercise. Consequently, it was another perfect “American” activity for Jessey to help teach the residents the Texas Two-Step. They also had a Spanish selection where we danced the same moves, but the music was twice as fast. After a certain point, the residents sat back and had a good time watching us try to keep up with the music. Jessey was great. I did try myself, at least I didn’t run into Jessey. Well, not too many times.

Jessey brought along a portable printer, so we were able to take pics of the residents with the various props and make photos available to the residents. This group shot was as popular as the individual shots. 

This young lady -- Jessey’s new buddy -- is the granddaughter of one of the residents -- remember I mentioned that there were multi-generational households here. She wrote ありがとう (thank you very much) along with drawings of faces and stars. You’re welcome, young lady -- and the residents of the kasetsu who blessed us as much as we tried to bless them.

=============================================================

Wednesday:

When we were meeting back in L.A., I cautioned the team we would sometimes not know what we’d be doing on a given day until the morning of, and that could also change. I suppose for once I was prophetic.

Originally we were booked to move some residents out of the kasetsu to apartment units recently constructed. It’s still not exactly permanent housing, but it’s more accommodating than the cramped barrack-style kasetsu units. That changed. Then we were booked to go cut overgrown weeds starting in the morning. That was postponed to the afternoon. Finally there was a relocating resident who needed furniture and a refrigerator moved. That became a two-man job for Eiichi-Sensei and Andrew.

Which meant the rest of the team was given a new assignment -- visit a local preschool to interact and practice English with the kids there. We actually didn’t do much with the English dialogue, as the oldest child there was two years of age. But what we did do was help with lunchtime. Tom is clearly a trouper when it comes to kids. Gio claimed he had no idea what to do, but he got his little guy to eat -- quite a bit, actually -- four (4) bowls of rice. Sorry for the less-than-ideal angles, but we want to protect the identity of the kids.

They did get a little bit of English interaction with our team. Here’s Gio, Jessey and Tom leading the kids in a chorus of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” I think we have video, if interested.

As we saw in previous years, there’s a number of tracts where homes once stood and / or were used for local gardens and farming. These tracts become overgrown with weeds. This location probably is big enough for more than two (2) homes. We were asked to clear the property of these weeds, much of the growth taller than me. OK, I realize that’s a rather low standard, but nonetheless.

It rains a lot during the Kumamoto summer. We experienced a brief downpour before we arrived at the tract. Did I mention it rains a lot here in Kumamoto? Because of the precipitation, we couldn’t use our gas-powered weed whackers. Instead, we were instructed to yank the weeks out of the ground. Remember I mentioned it rains a lot here? Although it made a bit humid in the hot weather (all right, REALLY humid), it also softened the ground so weed pulling was made a lot easier.

Eichii-Sensei is the director of the KCDRC. He still puts in a lot of physical labor. A lot of us got mosquito bites, sorta inevitable. Eichii-Sensei mentioned he almost died two (2) years ago when he had an allergic reaction to a wasp sting.

We cleared about three-quarters of the property. The guys wanted to finish the rest of the job, but the local dump could only accept a certain amount of vegetation on a given day (only so much can be burned each day) so we ended the day’s work. Several times Eichii-Sensei and others remarked about how our team members work really hard and efficiently. These gentlemen are making me look good. More importantly, they’re really helping out the KCDRC in their efforts to reach out to the local community.

It was time to go home after a productive day. You’ll note there are a few individuals who aren’t part of our team in this pic. They’re with another volunteer organization. Eichii-Sensei has built partnerships with a number of resources, both faith-based and non-faith based, because it’s more productive to coordinate with others, offering both manpower (and womanpower!) as well as avoiding redundancy in relief efforts. I’ll offer more about the partnerships and their goals, particularly in helping residents maintain the communities they’ve built over the past three (3) years while residing in the kasetsu centers. Tonight will be laundry. I hope there’s not going to be anything living and / or creeping that’s stuck to the clothing. Thanks for reading this long posting, again give us a “hello” just to give us an idea about the blog’s audience. And the blessings continue.

[duboisvu]

Chat

ViciousSae has joined the chat

TreDubois: hi

ViciousSae: hey boo

ViciousSae: hru

TreDubois: i'm well and you?

ViciousSae: im good

ViciousSae: do u remember me?

TreDubois: you seem full of energy

TreDubois: karrinah?

ViciousSae: i ma XD

ViciousSae: no

ViciousSae: XD u forgot me

ViciousSae: well i have pics of us maybe u will remember

ViciousSae: do u wanna see them?

TreDubois: ok

TreDubois: in your album?

ViciousSae: no

ViciousSae: its save on my pc

ViciousSae: let me get them

TreDubois: ok..where you gonna post them?

ViciousSaeViciousSae Add Friend: on my private page

ViciousSae: hold on

ViciousSae: [Link]

ViciousSae: thats them

ViciousSae: look

TreDubois: i don't follow links

TreDubois: that's how you get hacked

ViciousSae: oh its a imvu page

TreDubois: so...how abou this. you can either submit them to my tumblr

TreDubois: or

TreDubois: post them on your feed and I'll check them out

TreDubois: you can also tag me on twitter

TreDubois: or upload them to your album and I'll check it out

TreDuboisTreDubois : it's hacking season and I don't remember you

ViciousSae: oh my bf will get made if i post a pic of me and another boy

ViciousSae: thats why i send it like that

TreDubois: are we have sex or something?

ViciousSae: yes

ViciousSae: XD thats why i cant post them

TreDubois: you got tumblr, or kik?

TreDubois: i just got on MeWe

ViciousSae: nope

ViciousSae: i only play imvu

TreDubois: no instagram?

TreDubois: you sure it was me?

ViciousSae: yes it was u

TreDubois: so what's up little mama?

TreDubois: you got a bf now?

ViciousSae: yes

TreDubois: cool!

ViciousSae: thats why i cant post the sex pics

ViciousSae: he will get mad at me

TreDubois: oh well

TreDubois: did I do a good job?

ViciousSae: ofc u did XD

ViciousSae: i wont of invite u back today if u wasnt

TreDubois: so you want another go?

TreDubois: how old are you?

ViciousSae: im 1

ViciousSae: 18

ViciousSae: XD

TreDubois: so you were 17 when we banged?

ViciousSae: yes

TreDubois: well here's the deal. i have a strict no minors rule so that's impossible. also, I don't deal with people under 25...so again...not believable

ViciousSae: wym?

TreDubois: it means we didn't bang

ViciousSae: well the pics say otherwise

ViciousSae: XD

TreDubois: you'd have to post them for me to believe you, and you're not doing that so i feel like you're trying to game me

ViciousSae: i told u i cant post them

ViciousSae: ughhh

TreDubois: i'm sorry. so we'll just have to start over as friends

ViciousSae: yep

TreDubois: how's school going?

ViciousSae: im not in school

ViciousSae: im working

ViciousSae: z

ViciousSae: wow u relly did forget me

TreDubois: no college?

TreDubois: it had to have been a long time

ViciousSae: yeah im in college but im working too

ViciousSae: college is fine ig

TreDubois: i'm surprised you have no albums

TreDubois: that's strange

ViciousSae: yeah i dont post

TreDubois: you don't save anywhere either

ViciousSae: nope

TreDubois: well i'm sorry but I can't click the link. i've been hacked once before and no more for me

ViciousSae: oh well its a imvu page and its oki

TreDubois: ok

TreDubois: so what you up to?

ViciousSae: just chilling

ViciousSae: and you?

TreDubois: decorating a room

ViciousSae: nice

TreDubois: yep

TreDubois: you got any kids?

ViciousSae: yes

TreDubois: sweet how many?

ViciousSae: irl u mean?

TreDubois: nope on the Vu

ViciousSae: oh i have 2

TreDubois: nice!

ViciousSae: yep

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri has joined the chat

TreDubois: So Sae..this is my wife Capri

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Helloo

TreDubois: i figured you two should meet

ViciousSae: hey

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Hru?

ViciousSae: im good and you?

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Doing wel, heard quite a bit about u lol

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Well*

TreDubois: lol

TreDubois: you did?

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Oh yea

ViciousSae: u did o_o

ViciousSae: XD

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Ur the talk of the town today lol

TreDubois: hehe

TreDubois: this is a nice room!

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: It is!

ViciousSae: ty

TreDubois: is your bf online?

TreDubois: i'd like to meet him

ViciousSae: hes offline atm

ViciousSae: ill invite u when hes online

ViciousSae: ill love for u too meet him

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Can't wait!

TreDubois: cool!

TreDubois: that would be awesome

ViciousSae: yee

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Hm, I suppose we should just cut straight to the point..pictures huh? Lol

TreDubois: noi

TreDubois: chill

TreDubois: omg no

ViciousSae: XD

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Lol

TreDubois: bahahhahaha!

TreDubois: there are no pictures

TreDubois: lol

ViciousSae: i dont want your bf to get in trouble

ViciousSae: lol

TreDubois: first..husband

TreDubois: second..no trouble

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Lmao he's not the one in trouble from wha I've heard

ViciousSae: roght forgot

TreDubois: if it happened it was before her

ViciousSae: oh ur married now

TreDubois: lol

ViciousSae: nice

TreDubois: so...no trouble

TreDubois: lol

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: lol exactly

ViciousSae: lol

TreDubois: we're all friendly here

TreDubois: geez...the pregnancy hormone

TreDubois: hormones...

ViciousSae: brb

TreDubois: eat a snickers would you

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Lol oop wha can I say?

TreDubois: lol

TreDubois: tyt

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Tyt

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: And no snickers lol

TreDubois: oop

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -grabs pickles-

TreDubois: i see draws on the floor

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Ohh snap

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Did we interrupt? Lol

TreDubois: i was invited here

TreDubois: lol

TreDubois: i have no clue

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -facepalms- crap, duh lmao

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Oo pizza

ViciousSae: back

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Wb

TreDubois: wb!

ViciousSae: ty

ViciousSae: i have not put anything up here yet

ViciousSae: ty

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Yw

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -grabs pizza box- u mind if I have a slice or three Sae?

ViciousSae: sure

TreDubois: i feel your decorating pains trust me

TreDubois: lolo

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Lol same here, hate decorating unlike this guy

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -eats some pizza- are there any pineapples here by chance?

ViciousSae: lol

TreDubois: ewww

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Lol so no pineapples?

TreDubois: pineapples

TreDubois: yuck

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Shut it Dubois! lol they're amazing

ViciousSae: z\

TreDubois: gross

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Hater

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -sticks tongue out-

TreDubois: oop

TreDubois: sorry if i'm boring you

TreDubois: lol

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: -packs a to-go box- I'll have to head out now, it was nice meeting you Sae!

TreDubois: ok

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: See ya on messenger hun

TreDubois: ttyl!

TreDubois: ok

ViciousSae has left their session. This session will automatically close in 2 minutes unless you load one of your own rooms

Guest_hottiegotswagcapri: Ttyl!

[floralmotif]

Oh hi again, Eldritch Café. Nice windows.

The window right behind the girl is the only one with the blinds partially closed... I think I know who’s café this is... hey look, she’s giving Cas coffee.

The Eldritch Café set graced us with its presence for a fourth(probably 5th) time. Again in promo pics, like 12.10. As in previous iterations, it seems to mirror a character and their mental state or an aspect of them. Looks like Cas may be feeling a bit better in the context of this scene from how he did in 12.08. Glad to see it. This post is long and pretty pic heavy.

Note: The bottom of this thread contains a bonus track. It’s rather sad and kind of off from the others but it may be interesting.

[x]

I wish I could read the sign. Mary’s tile is back again. Probably because the floor underneath wouldn’t go but hey, I’ll take it. It could be symbolic in that she has some underlying influence which could jive with what we know about the episode. Most likely though, they just don’t want to remove that vinyl tile mat yet. No booths this time, just basic tables once more. Windows are visible again, the most we’ve seen. Today they’ve added stucco and extra moulding for depth. They’ve also uncovered some previously covered openings. The wall sconces have been removed and light from outside is the only light source we see except the inset above the door... hmmm. At one point Cas either orders or accepts coffee, something he doesn’t always do. We know coffee is strongly tied to both him and humanity so that’s neat. The three cake plates in the background are interesting to me. Here’s a couple shots from Cas’ previous café contrasted with the current one.

Hehe, they’re behind Dean.. anyway...

They appear to hold a similar aesthetic too. 2 pies on each side and... either a cake or empty, I can’t tell. The cake from the old set has a bite out of it... Could be a pie and 2 cakes in the new one..  Could be 3 cakes, I dunno. I just think it’s funny and interesting. I’m sure the camera will tell us what they are when the episode airs. It likes sweets.

In the new set, we can see the windows but they have blinds on them. Cas’ old set also had blinds on the windows.

And Dean’s set had blinds on the door, few windows showing and coverings on the ones that were there.

Shortly after Dean exits his café, he gets blinded by angel magic.  Sometimes I wonder if Cas knows Dean loves him deep down, but keeps the blinds up because of the “sacred oath” thing. Dean is utterly closed off and I think it’s on purpose. He closes the blinds on the door to keep himself safe. If the new promo is in fact depicting Cas’ new state of mind, it means he’s still cautious and maybe still unsure of himself and his placement but it also shows that he’s recovering (at the time of the scene) and 12.10 helped him. From where he’s looking in the promo, he looks engaged and in control, unlike in the 12.10 picture where Dean takes over. I know 12.12 is supposed to bring us pain but I hope it does more than that. I hope it’s really something meaningful. See you in a bit, Eldritch Café. Can you mirror Sam next time? I really want to know what his mental state looks like in café form. Bonus track:  Have a looksie at this scene from 12.09:

Mick and “Wally” sit in the cafe of a grocery store. In a set that I think is also a heavily altered Eldritch Café filmed from the counter side... but who is it reflecting? Well, we can get an idea from a previous version.

Yep, that one again. In fact, it’s almost the same set color wise. It also has windows with blinds, no booths, a white board, wood floor and wall sconces. Interestingly, it has stucco, just like the new café. Apparently the café doesn’t need the character present to morph, it just needs their essence or something that represents them. If this is true, it could mean a few of things: One: Cas will probably be ok in the end, or we at least know he’s being framed. Those are no longer his colors. He has moved on from “The Greater Good” mentality as these colors could be viewed as representing. The BMoL see Cas as a threat but he is learning to “find a better way.”(Also he’s signed up for an additional 7 eps. He’s not gonna die) Two: While the above set may have been Cas’ mental state, the colors were more his ideal at the time rather than him directly: The Greater Good. An appearance that has changed. Cas has been getting little bits of “A better way” for a long time but now that I think about it, the tie Claire gave him may have been the first symbol for it. With this in mind, the café in the grocery store may actually be reflecting Mick, who has taken on the color scheme when Cas left it because he still has the “greater good” mentality. This means that the café may reflect something important about that character or even possibly a theme they are associated with overall in the show. I wanna see what Mary’s represents.. so far, all I’ve got is freedom. Freedom from what I wonder.

We’ve seen that pink and blue has been associated with Dean for awhile now... 

[x]

couldn’t imagine why >.>

And speaking of Mary. Three:

We’re back in her café from 12.09.

She’s sitting in the same place as before but on the other side... facing right... the above is her PoV shot. Mick is facing left. Western cinematography says that means he’s wrong but she thinks she’s right. He faced left in Wally’s scene too. He is in our face, just like before, he wants to convince us, he doesn’t convince Wally... but..

MICK: Let me paint you a picture, of a world without monsters, or demons, or any of those little buggers that go bump in the night. Of a world where no one has to die because of the supernatural. Of a new world, a better world.

[the angle changes and we see that the hunter he’s talking to is Mary. She leans forward and rests her crossed arms on the table.]

MARY: I’m listening.

[x]

If this dialogue and two shots means what they seems to mean: 

KETCH: Still… a bit unprofessional.

Coupled with Mick’s conversations with Mary and Wally, I’m pretty sure we’re inn for Mary’s betrayal for “What needs to be done.” “The greater good” I think when Mary heard cosmic consequences from Billie, she resigned that the death should be hers since she was dead before. I think it guilted her and she was ready to accept death. Then Cas came in and stopped it. Not only is he supernatural, but he could potentially bring down much worse to earth and her son’s. To her and the BMoL, getting rid of Cas is necessary.  Just like Cas thought opening purgatory was necessary in s6, to prevent cosmic consequences. (in that case, Raphael and the apocalypse) This also makes me think of Mary as a character overall and what her thought process is. She’s still a no nonsense hunter who believes the supernatural are not for this world. She’s pretty brutal and in no way how Dean expected. It’s kind of awesome, understandable and a little tragic, I don’t think it has to end tragic though, at least not here. We’re in for a tear fest everyone, but I’m 90% sure it won’t just be from Cas getting hurt again. Mary has become a Cas mirror once again and may contribute to his hurting. Those disjointed scenes from the promo video may be the Winchesters stalking each other. How will they find a better way than before?

[stemcelltransplant-blog]

Sunday, March 27th, 2017

Was gonna start at around 8pm today. After spending like 3-4 hours on the first entry yesterday, I definitely wanted to start earlier. Alas, I was too tired and slept some more but now I'm awake so I'm hoping to just focus and write my lovely scrambles.

 Got lots of good reactions to my first entry yesterday. I have three versions of this now but I want to do a project to make a just personal website (not with my overdue website).

Nurse just came in! Done for tonight! No random interaction sayings for tonight. Sad. :( 

Daddy about to sleep. Love him <3 

Today. Long yet short. It's weird. I'm trying to think of things to say but it's such a blur from sleeping on and off.

It's a weird kinda feeling. When you sleep on and off all day, it just feels like a dream. Everything's faded, foggy.

 So today, I woke up. Lol. Such a boring being. 

Well, really I didn't wake up. I actually was awake all night. Stupid awake brain. I wouldn't stop thinking all night. Tried EVERYTHING. No electronics. Watching a show. Reading an article. Then I made the mistake. I opened my computer and started working. I was obsessed with trying to format a blog online (which would have been fine to just do over a few days). You can actually tell I was awake from all of my posts on Facebook. Then, there was this thing on Facebook I was trying to fix. I wanted my link in my post to show in the link preview box thingy so it would look organized. Spent a few hours just trying to fix it on my iPad which would have been easier on my laptop but for some reason I was too lazy to pick up my laptop. Felt that working on iPad gave might make it easier to go to sleep.

So then Nadine came in the morning.

See, now I'm starting to remember my day. Let the rambling begin!

Nadine is my nurse. So actually the nurses change a few times a day here. i get old and new nurses. It's annoying in a way. I'd rather just have a personal nurse because then they don't have to ask the same questions everyday, constantly check vitals, check heart rate and lungs, etc. On the bright side, I get to meet new people. But occasionally you'll get a the nurse who keeps you up all night or keep forgetting to do things.

Did I mention that I'm on contact isolation? Any time a nurse comes in, they have to gown up in protective gear. Also on respiratory isolation so they have to wear a mask. And then there's this special hazmat suit thingy they wear for my hazardous drugs. It doesn't bother me but I feel bad for the nurses. If they forgot something outside the door, they have to take off their gown to leave the room. And then put another one on when coming back it. Often, they'll just shout out the corridor to have another nurse get something for them. Now the door keeps opening and closing. Lots of noise.

Ugh. Papa forgot to get me a drink for the night. Wondering the quietest way to call for a drink without waking up papa. Is it better to just call the nurse now  O.o? or to just have water and call when I need more? See, we have call buttons in our rooms for when we need something. Problem is, they're loud. It'll wake Papa up in the morning. Right now, I'm probably bothering him with my typing and the light from my laptop (he'll occasionally move or ask if I'm ok or tell me to sleep). The only way I know he's really asleep is when he snores. 

Pee. Thinking I have to pee. Don't want to get up. Lazy. Papa will definitely hear me. 

Ok, getting up now. Be right back.

Nurse just came in. Have to renew my blood type and screen. Blood draw. Luckily have a triple lumen central line. No poking, prodding, sticking.

Loving this nurse. She scrubs the hub for thirty seconds. Central lines get infected easily so when the end is left open, there's always a chance for infections. Nurses are supposed to scrub the end with alcohol wipes for thirty seconds for optimal sanitizing. 

See, I'm very cautious and aware of my own health care. People take health for granted. Having an illness changes your perspective on almost everything. After having colitis for more than four years now, my life has changed significantly in small ways that I've become thankful for the weirdest of things. Restrooms around every corridor. Standing straight. Strong bones. Stable hands. Strolling through places. Being able to hold my potty. Etc.

Stomach rumbling but not feeling hungry. To drink calories or not.

Warning: gross illness technicalities. This is actually really important in this transplant right now. Calories. Intake and output (amount of stool and urine for output and what I drink for input).. Since getting GVHD of the gut, I've been on a bowel rest. I went about four weeks without any food. Doctors measured stool output to check on how bad the GVHD is. Really bad gut GVHD has four liters of stool  output a day.  Without eating. I came back to the hospital with over a liter of stool. My doc says that's about a 6 on a 1-10 scale of how bad the GVHD is. No idea what a normal output is.  So then they started to add medications. Spent three weeks just adding different drugs. With no food. Just water with medicine. Having alternating good and bad stool days. Docs are looking for less than five hundred stool before adding anything to eat or drink. Worst days during the three weeks were when stool got to goals and I started weening off of steroids (to lower my drug with it's bad side effect of a higher rick for infection)

Supposed to be asleep right now.

 Warning: more gross technicalities. What happened? Went from 200 mg to 150 mg a day. Was fine. Goes down to 50 mg per day. FLARE. Pooping more than a liter of stool again. From less than five hundred mg stool to over a liter in a day. Absolutely horrible.

 Took another week to recover after increasing steroids to 150. First two days of pooping every 30 minutes. Finally, stool was at goals for a couple of days after another week. Weening off steroids again. So scared.

Tomorrow starts day 94 post-transplant. Was supposed to be going home at day 100.

Weening of steroids again:

Day 1:Went down 10 mg.

Day 2: So far so good.

Day 3: Add a clear liquid item. Chose cherry Italian fruit ice.

Day 4: Down 15 mg. Goes well.

Day 5: One clear liquid. Chicken broth.

Kept asking if I could have one or two items, does it matter if they're the same item. So excited to finally be eating! :D

Day 6: Two items. Broth and fruit ice to be cautious.

Day 7: Down 15 mg.

Day 8: Add another item.

Basically now, down 15 mg and adding items every 1-2 days.

Point was? To explain why it's important how many calories I intake. All because I'm deciding what to drink now that I can finally eat. 

Ok, so back to today. Nadine came in for morning blood draws. Asked how was my night. Said I slept well. She had come in the middle of the night to check up on me. Tots knew that something was up. My dad started to wake up and asked how my night was. I tell him the truth. Don't know why. Stayed up all night. Brain wouldn't turn off. Now, Nadine says, "I knew something was up when you said you slept. I could just tell that you didn't sleep." LOL. Guess who's in trouble? Haha. No, we were just joking around. Fun memories.

The rest of the day is a blur again. So, it's a Sunday. That means not too much medicine wise. Also, everyone is gone so not too many visitors. I get my morning meds and everything. Still on clear liquids diet. I think I just caught up on sleep until going on pass.

Went to apartment. Was trying to go see the wonderful cherry blossoms. SO EXCITED. It's peaking right now. But we got a call from the photographer we really enjoyed that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday afternoon would work to go and take pics. Hard decision. Decided to stay at apartment and just chill.

Sleep. Wonderful. That's all I did. Back to NIH.

Then we see one of my favorite nurses. NEED MOE for night nurse. Too late to request. Why???? I need to request her for tomorrow.

Still tired. Needed to start earlier on writing. Told myself to nap for an hour and write. Slept until about 10. in and out until 11. Tots awake. 11:45 dad wants to sleep. Tells me to sleep. Secretly keeps journaling until 2 am.

Now closing laptop and sleeping. Wish I had more to say. Good night.

[noheroes-allowed]

12/10

officially got rejected today. laid in bed finishing my 4740 project and my other group members don’t even know the amount of effort I put in. it’s fine though. they didn’t purposefully slack off or anything. I just have unusually high standards I suppose and can’t function in groups.

other news. today was the segc social. maya definitely likes keith. hahahahahahaa she literally got up halfway through and went to sit on the other side of the table to be next to him. this girl jesus. I sat next to her bc there was only one seat left and was like oh you’re maya right. which I only know from stalking her fb. and she was like yeah and you’re lucy right and went back to talking to mahdia lmao. I talked to chloe and sergio and xavier though. and it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. we were talking so much that everyone else on the other side finished their food and we weren’t done at all. also when we were ordering it skipped all the way down to me without me knowing. and I was like wait what. and then the waitress came down and sergio was like wait what. and then spent so long picking his dinner. like she went and got everyone else’s. and came back and he still wasn’t ready. and then collected everyone’s menus and he finally settled on something. and when chloe came in the waitress came back and asked her. and she was also panicked. idk I think it’s funny how we all went through that. on our way out keith was like I felt so far away from you guys. directed mainly at xavier. and I was like you missed our game.

secret santa was also really cute. we went around and said clues for what we bought and I guessed phyllis bc she said decor. she got me the hanging picture thing. and a plant. when everyone went around via was like oh you’re holding the present in your hand. and phyllis was like no this plant is for me. but then she was like plot twist! this is for you. and I was the surprised pikachu meme. it was so cute. ahhhhhh. also like mahdia knew what I got her and I knew what phyllis got me bc we all made wishlists. but wow I did not expect to be so happy opening it. and I talked to mahdia after and she was so happy to get my gift too. gifts are so nice. so weird

when we were walking after dinner the group got split up. bc half of us was waiting for xavier. we saw a party bus on the way and jokingly said we should just say it was ours and get on. but then xavier was like no wait lemme ask if we can take a pic inside. and we did lmao. and then I was talking to keith going upstairs and I told him he missed it. he was wearing his athletic jacket from high school and idk if it was his jacket or what but his shoulders looked hella good today. fuuuuck. maybe I never paid attention but also maybe it was the jacket. when thomas said his gift was $40 and keith and I both mouthed 40 and looked at each other. I went to the bathroom and opened the door to him. lmao I’m lame but at least I know it.

we played the voting game and I got first in line for hell. which I love. lucy is short for lucifer. also people said I was mysterious. also that I would be from the future. also dhanush was like the funny thing is and said a spiel about trivia and then I was like wow that was so funny sarcastically and everyone laughed. making fun on dhanush is easy. damn I miss our invested team. on our way out dhanush was like lucy is wrecking me today but I know she has a soft spot for me. which is true in a way. like I wouldn’t make fun of him if I didn’t know him enough. but then I said sungjae was my favorite. he’s so unproblematic and soft.

I’m really glad I went today. sergio is cool. I wanna hang out with him more. chloe is cool too. I wanna be friends with them and xavier and sungjae and phyllis and thomas. he’s so funny. and keith oops. although I feel like I could actually really like phyllis and thomas and sergio. there was a post semester survey and I think I answered those three for the people I wanna get to know better. I didn’t put keith bc I didn’t wanna expose myself even though only the presidents probably see the survey. but now I genuinely have those three as my answers. and tbh anyone there today was chill. like why did I waste so much time. I could’ve like tried talking to people more. watch me next semester though forget this feeling. and have that irrational anxiety around these people again.

I’m happy I went. I’m happy I stayed even when a huge group of people left after secret santa. accidentally fell asleep and woke up at 6:40 and then stayed in bed for another 10 minutes debating if I should just not go. bc getting ready and walking would take 30 min and sometimes showing up late sucks more than not going at all. but I did it. I took a bus and was only 15 minutes late. I think it was a blessing in disguise when there was only one seat left and it was at xavier’s end. even though initially I was like oh keith is on the complete other end of the table. like in my row and furthest from me where I couldn’t even glance at him if I wanted to since he was too far to talk to. but it’s ok. sergio and chloe and xavier made up for it.

when we were leaving xavier was like lucy you should talk more during g-body. aw. I will try I guess. I hope so. also I need to go to secon next sem. bc I definitely missed out on bonding last year bc I didn’t go.

yesterday keith and I talked before class. and it was fun. he asked about my project and I asked about his. he said that apparently his guy thought they weren’t working on the project and sent an email like yeah this semester was a failure. apparently a bit nicer but still. I thought it was mean. and I asked him about his finals. and then this dude like heard him talking about public finance and interrupted. and then he was like wait sorry what was your question. cutie. I love when he turns around to talk to me. bc he could just talk to his friend sitting next to him but he turns around and talks to me and includes me in the conversation sometimes even when I don’t even really know his friend. he asked me what I’m doing next summer. and oof. I was like don’t ask me that question. he asked me if I was doing anything over break. he’s going to florida to visit family. I’m getting my wisdom teeth out. he did it summer after freshman year. his friend is gonna be in sab fran. I said I had family there and visited last summer. we talked about the masters presentations. and I said one of them was sloppy and kind of annoying. I asked him when his last day was. his last final might be the 17th but I don’t remember. I said mine was the 16th but I’m leaving the 21st. and he was like oh that’ll be a chill few days then. but I’m picking up shifts for work. oh that’ll be a profitable few days then. I asked if he was gonna be on my project team next sem. and he was like will you have a good project. but it would be fun. more fun than the other ones. I do not know for sure if I heard the last part right but if he did. damn son

also I felt bad when I walked in late and they were like lucy! and I saw keith turn a little to wave at me but I was like too anxious and trying to figure out where to go and didn’t like say hi to him. sad. I asked him yesterday if he was going today. he said he was going to dinner but had to leave kinda early afterwards. he said he wanted to sleep. which sad. why didn’t he stay longer. I wish he was there for the voting game.

hahahaha last semester I wanted to ask keith to go to an apo fellowship with me. but I didn’t wanna expose myself. but it’s the end of the semester again and I wanna hang out with him again. oof this time I don’t even have anything to ask him to do with me. I just wanna hang out and eat lunch or something

[thegeminisage]

since i FINALLY finished the comic page im gonna make the poor choice of playing zelda ALL NIGHT get ready for The Longest Post which is full of Big Super Spoilers

since lynel thoroughly kicked my can last night i need defense food and preferably stronger weapons

i technically already had more than enough shock arrows to proceed but i wanna kill him!!!!

LMFAO I JUST COOKED SOMETHING THAT GIVES ME 21 EXTRA HEARTS...HOLY FUCK

okay but in all seriousness i only have like 3 defense things........

i guess i'll try it fuck i dont feel like scouring the world for ironshrooms rn

ok. slept on the bed to get my stamina wheel & 3 hearts, will use my 21 hearts when those run out, got 3 defense things for about 14m of defense, I Can Do This

really i wish i had a one-handed weapon, two-handers are so slow :/

well here we go again :|||

lol why does my heartrate always go up for shit like smh.....

getting better at dodging

ooh he hates my ice arrows

HAHAHA I MOUNTED HIM

maybe i can get a snapchat pic

YES i did i didn't attack him in that perfect moment but hey some thing are more important

NOOO FUCK I DIED

I FORGOT TO REFRESH MY DEFENSE ELIXIR BC I HAD GOTTEN UP AND FORGOT IT WAS ALMOST OUT

JESUS FUCK

im so fucking annoyed lmao i was so close

oh well at least now i can use that whole mount

aaand again

oh. im out of ice arrows.

YIKES i forgot to refresh my thing again just for a sec and almost died

YES i got a perfect dodge purely on accident NICE!!!!

i can see everything from shatterback point, even naydra, but im too scared to jump while the beast is down there

no yk what fuck it. im turning this paraglider around

first tho i really wanna wait to see if i can catch another rainbow...they were so pretty and i lost the other pics i took when i died ):

oh!!! there it is!!!!! and i was just about to give up

ah it last such a short time - but it comes at the same time every day, around 4:05

i'm sure it won;t appear here anymore after the divine beasts knocks it off with the water though, haha

okay.......time to dive

/saves first

AHAHAHA I DID IT

WOW THAT THING IS SO HUGE UP CLOSE BYE

i mean it didnt even move im just Scared. ok

duuude i gave the lynel pic to the lady and got swim pants?! FUCKING SICK where do i get a helm

okay time to go free the divine beast!!

haha wait i came out here without defense stuff. i didn't cook anymore

oh well yolo

or actually this is a game so i live as many times as i want #determination

i do still have some extra hearts left, and stamina, and some healing items, and even some electricity elixirs, sowow!! okay! still huge!!!!!

ah i love sidon so much

he tries so hard and he's so ready and he loves his people so dearly

i bet he's gonna die lol

if it's like, a sage thing, maybe he has to replace mipha if she really is gone

jesus please don't die sidon PLEASE

OH MY GOD I GET TO RIDE ON HIS BACK?

JFC THIS MUSIC IS SO COOL!!!! AAAAKDSHFGKLJ

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING!!! IN THE FIGHT!!!!! IM CRYING THIS IS SO COOL SKDFHBG

oh my gos he's talking he's talking there's voice acting im literally dying i cant handle!!!!!! this!!!!!! i lvoe him so much

omg omg

dude that was SO cool

and link got to ride on his back and then say goodbye!!! and sidon BELIEVES in him!!!!!!!!!!

god i wish i had gotten the helm before i did this haha i looked up the location but i don't think i can back out now

MIPHA?

MIPHA IS TALKING TO ME??

I CAN HEAR MIPHA'S VOICE

I'M CRYING I KNEW SHE WAS STILL ALIVE

i feel like she's about to die like the old man like Move On but

to see her again!!!!!!! im so emotional

oh my god oh my god

no okay i can leave and i need a second too im gonna go get the helm

apparently theres a quest you can do that doesnt give you the helm but tells you where to find it? but i can do that later rn i just want complete armor

alright nice full set hell yeah

HOLY fuck i was paragliding back and i tried to paraglide over the divine beast and it fucking OBLITERATED ME jesus CHRIST

dude there are these absolutely freaky eyeball things you gotta shoot to get rid of gunk and the music gets all creepy near them lsdksjfgh

oh no i found the cockpit but it's all closed up...is her corpse in there? her ghost? oh my god it says the terminals are unactivated

i'll be honest im a BIT stuck here i hate to have to use a guide, but

NO wait oh my god my runes!!! dumbass

i can lift the bars lol

oh my god the CONTROLS are on???

I CAN MOVE IT?? HOLY SHIT

this map is fucking 3D a 3D map!!!! in the other games they were flat holy shit!!!!

i can even see it moving on the minimap!!! holy FUCK

LMAO i was trying to move this crank with stasis and all along i needed to use magnesis. jesus

uh the music got freaky as fuck after i did the first terminal??? no?? thank you????

LOL YOU GOTTA RIDE THE TRUNK oh my god. oh my god.jesus christ

i am so small. it is so big. oh my god

I FEEL UNSAFE!

who is the boss of this dungeon? there's gotta be a boss

don't tell me i fight it

or the undead mipha

jesus god

i have had to ride this trunk 3 times now and i am not at all comfortable

reminds me of the big windmill in mirror's edge

okay yep i did all the terminals and now the music is downright terrifying!!! nice good Okay

HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT BLUE LIGHT

MIPHA?

NOT MIPHA!!!

"my demise 100 years ago" is she Really gone

omg no mipahs talking to me as i fight!!!

im straight up gonna look up what to do im too weak and defense-potionless to do this the hard way

ooh motherfucker doesnt like my shock arrows and lynel bow ahaha

huh that was actually like SUPER easy compared to some of the other stuff i've done

eeeewwwwww

MIPHA? ARE YOU ALIVE OR DEAD IN THERE? oh god oh god

holy fuck

i straight up just cried

she's a spirit and i thought she was gonna like, move on? which is sad enough

but no she's hanging around to pilot the divine beast from the afterlife

she even talked to it i was so sad it's been her only companion for a century of course she fucking talks to it

and i was staying strong!!! i was!!!!!

but she talked about how she wished she could see her dad again and i cried lmao why does this game give me dad feels of all things

i hope she gets to see her dad one more time too i'm so sad she's really dead and not alive like link

jesus fuck

oooh dorephan's talking about the master sword...gimme gimme gimme!!!

aww he was nice to sidon as everyone should be!!!!

holy shit he's really big?? i didn't realize it but he's like twice link's height JESUS

man. i am fucking wrecked lol

time to...explore...the rest of the province...i guess

i got a trident but i can never use it bc it will break. it was mipha's!!!!

on the other hand all three pieces of armor, my shield, weapon, AND bow are all zora themed i took a pic of myself to remember it by lol bc they will all break

i wonder where i should go after this...?

my brother went up to death mountain but i kinda want to do something different so we have something to tell each other about

but i kinda want to do the same so we don't spoil each other

i also REALLY wanna do the southeastmost province for some reason, all that water

tbh tho im getting ahead of myself i still have lots of this left to cover

it's getting harder to tell where i've already been, haha - when the things had borders and there was less visible that was easier

ooooh mipha's ability brings me back from death and she speaks briefly to me ;_; and it's active again in 23 minutes nice!

so i guess each champion gives you a different one and you can chose which to have active but tbh this one seems like it's gonna be the most helpful already

aww i did a little quest in kakariko to root out a theif and i love the way they built up dorian's past that's so cool

i think i was supposed to be able to pick up that yiga dude's sword tho and it glitched on me bc i was too fast :/

ugh i'm doing this oen shrine puzzle where you have to mount a male deer

and i finally mounted one after losing 10000 times and it was past some hills it wouldn't climb down

every time i find one thats close enough they fucking bolt im so fed up :|

and my sheikah sensor isn't picking up any more so i must have literally scared away all of them. fantastic. what a huge waste of time!! guess i will go somewhere else!

also can't solve the puzzle on how to open the shrine at veiled falls so im just batting a thousand today so much for sidequesting tbqh

FOUND A BLUE MANED LYNEL

SO MUCH NOPE

urgh and a blue hinox

exploring might not be worth my time either tbh

yeah no that's two shrines i haven't been able to open and this has stopped being fun, got one more ridge to explore before im done with this province - and some weird islands waaaay out there too but idk if i can get to them yet, and i'd just as soon wait until i unlocked the one next to them

yyyeah looking at them from here it makes much more sense to explore them when i get to that province

at least im all done with this one!! still plenty of sidequests and stuff, but those i can come back t more easily...it's harder to remember which terrain i have and haven't covered when i don't do it like this

i was thinking about how big the divine beast was when i saw it in the distance and

this sounds nuts but i bet im right - what if that flying island thing is a divine beast. WHAT IF

and that is The Day's Liveblog, more tomorrow, except probably not much bc of stream