#ok this got really long and yeah the playlist is actually 2017-2018 what about it!!!!

[tinkasbell]

TASK 005 -- WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR !

2017: easily the worst year tinka has lived through, and she spent fifteen years in foster care. her life was completely pulled out from under her and she was stuck trying to figure things out for herself. peter was acting more off than usual which led to his eventual disappearance from carthay. her options were to stick with the darlings and the lost boys or be on her own. she would’ve chosen the lost boys if they weren’t falling apart at the seams. she didn’t realize just how hard life would be without peter pan there to lead them all. besides, she was too overwhelmed to properly help the group in any way.

2018: the year of growth. tinka has never been one for resolutions, but she really was hoping for a new year, new me transformation. she wanted to be the bright girl she once was. she wanted to be less dependent on peter. she wanted to make a name for herself. no one else attached. she rekindled with iriana, rose, vidia, fawn, silver, and terence in the new year. with this came personal growth. she remembered how to have fun, how to act around girls ( ones she liked, no less ), and how important close friends are. becoming the new tinka bell would have been impossible without their support the whole way. with their help, tinka is learning how to deal with and work through her emotions, how to move on from someone who isn’t coming back, and how to comfort someone else who may be in need.

2019: tinka hopes this will be the year people recognize her as an individual instead of one of peter’s followers. she’s working towards making new relationships with people and hoping to be kinder. she also wants to fully understand her emotions and work on her jealousy, which is much easier said than done-- especially when there’s not currently anything for her to be jealous of. she’s contemplating fixing her relationship with wendy darling, but deep down some part of her still blames wendy for this whole mess. that’s something she needs to work on, but she’s not currently acknowledging it at the moment.

PLAYLIST UNDER THE CUT !

I. YOU SHOULD BE HERE -- KEHLANI.

I'm looking right at you, but you're not there / I'm seeing right past you, but you seem well aware / Your body is here but your mind is somewhere else / So far gone and you think I can't tell -- nobody knows peter pan quite like tinka bell does. she always knew he was itching to leave carthay, and something was seeming off about him. he was never a fully present kind of guy, but he was feeling especially distant. tinka would always offer a penny for his thoughts, but he’d tell her it was nothing. that he was just thinking of his next great prank. tinka is not stupid, but she doesn’t feel it’s too important to push the issue.

II. SOMEBODY ELSE -- THE 1975.

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else / I'm looking through you / While you're looking through your phone / And then leaving with somebody else -- it’s no secret that tensions are high when wendy is around the group. tinka absolutely despises the other girl and just how close she’s getting with peter, and she can tell peter is getting closer to her as well. tinka has argued with peter time and time again over his closeness with wendy but all he does is laugh at how angry she gets. nothing changes and she’s stuck watching him connect and get closer with someone else.

III. TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME -- THE 1975.

I only called her one time / Maybe it was two times? / I don't think it was three times / It can't be more than four times / I think we need to rewind / You text that boy sometimes / Must be more than three times -- after each argument, peter reassures tinka that she will always be his best friend and that he has no plan on replacing her. every time the wendy argument comes up, he uses terence as his defence. if he can be your friend, why can’t she be mine? tinka doesn’t quite think it’s the same thing, but peter swears it is. he calls her hypocritical until she puts the issue to rest.

IV. THE NIGHT WE MET -- LORD HURON.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do / Haunted by the ghost of you / Oh, take me back to the night we met -- peter pan has left town and told tinka not to come with him. she misses when things weren’t so complicated. when they were just kids. when they first met and had their whole lives ahead of them. now, everything is tainted by memories the two of them shared. not only hangman’s tree, but the lost boys and all their adventures around town. sometimes it feels like there’s nothing that won’t remind her of peter.

V. I HAVE QUESTIONS -- CAMILA CABELLO.

I gave you all of me / My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears / Why don't you care, why don't you care? / I was there, I was there, when no one was / Now you're gone, and I'm here -- tinka gave her all to be peter’s best friend. she ditched her original friend group and made his life her life. her whole identity was not tinka bell but instead peter pan’s sidekick. she always stuck by his side and defended him when it came down to it. but now, he’s gone and her identity has left with him.

VI. MALIBU NIGHTS -- LANY.

I drink myself to sleep, who cares? / No one even has to know / I'm dealing with it on my own -- now that peter is gone, tinka feels she has no one. if the one person she trusted most in the world can just leave so easily, who's to say anyone else won’t leave just as easily? besides, tinka has never been filled with so many emotions. she doesn’t know how to handle them, and she doesn’t want to look weak. she had been dubbed peter’s stubborn and hardheaded sidekick her whole life. what would people say if they could see her now?

I feel my body giving up / Can I hold on for another night? / What do I do with all this time? -- tinka had never questioned her identity until she was left on her own. life no longer felt like something to put effort into because look where it got her. all that she had ever done and worked for was suddenly gone and she was left to deal with the emptiness. her days were spent with peter and the lost boys but the lost boys were falling apart quickly. tinka had previously agreed to be slightly’s sidekick if peter ever left, but none of them ever expected him to do so. with no group to go back to, her schedule is suddenly wide open and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

VII. NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Right now, I'm in a state of mind / I wanna be in like all the time / Ain't got no tears left to cry -- months have gone by and absolutely no word from peter. tinka is starting to accept the fact that he may be gone for good, and she’s tired of moping around. she was a functional person before she met him and she will continue to be a functioning member of society now that he’s gone. she’s tired of throwing herself a pity party and ready to rise from the ashes.

VIII. MOST GIRLS -- HAILEE STEINFELD.

Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful / Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable / Most girls, are fighting back everyday, no two are the same / I wanna be like, I wanna be like most girls -- becoming the old tinka would have been absolutely impossible without her girl gang by her side. she knew she blew them off but they happily welcome her back with open arms. they’re a gang full of large personalities and she’s absolutely grateful for each and every one of them. the group wouldn’t work as well as it does without any member, and she recognizes that. they each bring something special to the table and she hopes she can be half as amazing as she finds them all to be. there’s no better group to get her back on her feet than the squad that was there before peter ever was.

IX. HOMEMADE DYNAMITE -- LORDE, KHALID, SZA, & POST MALONE.

We're way too far from home / Let's be honest with ourselves / We're way too high to drive / So let's take on the night / If the light is in the air / Open, finally, we're goin' and we're free -- there’s nothing more likely to get tinka back on track than fun nights with the girls and terence. tinka has always been a fan of mindless car rides where they all add songs to a playlist and just drive around, updating each other on their lives. hearing what is going on in everyone else’s lives distracts her from what is going on in her own. plus, it’s rare the gang is all in one place at one time.

X. THE LIFE -- FIFTH HARMONY.

Give it up for the kids, eating good, getting lit / Living life, feeling rich, this is the life / We the best in the biz, breaking off, betting chips / Living life, feeling rich -- the initial shock has disappeared. peter is gone, but she doesn’t care. she’s got her day one squad by her side and they’re stronger than ever. she no longer feels like she’s missing peter and that’s okay. she’s got a good group around her and together they are even more unstoppable than peter and the lost boys ever were.

XI. NEW RULES -- DUA LIPA.

My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else / But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself -- however, getting over someone is never as easy as it seems. tinka goes through phases where she wonders where peter is. is he doing alright? is he safe? is he alive? he was her best friend, she can’t help but worry. he gave her some of the greatest memories of her life. but he told her not to come with him, and that’s what brings her back to reality.

XII. THANK U, NEXT -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Look what you taught me / And for that, I say / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex -- as much as tinka wishes she could hate peter for all the pain he caused her, it’s absolutely impossible for her to mutter those words. he made the majority of her life incredible and gave her experiences she would never have had on her own. instead of being angry that he’s gone, she’s come to accept that her time with peter, while temporary, was a blessing.

Spend more time with my friends / I ain't worried 'bout nothin' / Plus, I met someone else / We havin' better discussions / I know they say I move on too fast / But this one gon' last / 'Cause her name is Ari Tinka / And I'm so good with that -- tinka is finally beginning to find herself outside of peter pan and even outside of her girl squad. belonging to groups has always pushed tinka into roles, but reconnecting with the girls and terence reminds her of her likes and dislikes and emphasizes the possibility to clash with certain personalities but still get along with them. while she’s still not one hundred percent there, she’s working on being more in touch with her emotions ( which she’s never been very good at ).

[pinkyshy101]

So I got bored and decided to type out a list of the cartoons/tv shows I’ve watched, cause why not! I think this is all I’ve watched, or at least recent enough (I’m thinking like…. 2014/15 onward, when I actively started to watch more cartoons)

It’s kinda long, and I’m kinda rambley, so I’ll put it under a keep reading thing (if I can) so you don’t have to scroll through that if you don’t want to. Idk who will actually read this, but hey maybe it’s an idea of what kind of things I might reblog on here! I’m always taking any suggestions for shows to watch, I love learning about and watching more and more cartoons! So if there’s something I didn’t list as something I watched and you think of be interested, feel free to please recommend it! I may update this with a reblog or an edit or something at some point in the future, idk though. For now, its September 19, 2020, and here’s what I got for ya

This ended up way more rambley than I meant for it to be but I started writing it at maybe 12:30ish am and now its almost 2am when I’m getting ready to post it so oops 👀 I’m not really expecting anyone to read this but hey, it’s something! Read if you wanna know what shows and other stuff I watched lol idc

Cartoons I’ve watched in their entirety (or what’s all aired as of today 9/19/20):

(updated 12/2/20 as starting with ATLA)

Gravity Falls - watched since late 2014

Steven Universe (including the movie and Future) - watched since mid June 2015, right before the second stevenbomb/sworn to the sword (early season 2)

Over The Garden Wall - watched back around when it first came out, can’t remember exactly when but sometime in 2015

Star vs The Forces of Evil - watched the first 2 seasons as they aired, then stopped watching for a while and rewatched the whole show in June 2019

Hilda - watched for the first time in I think October 2018, rewatched in May quarantine

She-ra and the Princesses of Power - watched all 5 seasons about/not even a week after season 5 came out, idk why I waited so long to watch it

The Owl House - started watching it after the grom episode aired, idk why I waited so long to watch it but molly and noelle and everyone was screaming about grom on twitter, so of course I had to watch it then

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts - watched it all in early August, right before I watched The Owl House

Infinity Train - watched the pilot back in 2016, then the first season when it came out, but then I started college and didn’t get the chance to watch the 2nd/3rd season until I decided to watch the whole series (s1 again, 2/3 for the first time) this past week

Ouran High School Host Club - ok I know it’s anime not a cartoon and I can’t see myself reblogging anything from it but it’s literally the only anime I’ve watched more than like 1 or 2 episodes of/the only one I’ve seen in its entirety so I figured eh I’ll mention it

Camp Camp - I almost forgot to mention this one! I started watching it when there was I think only 3 episodes of season 1, so back in 2016, and I’ve loved it since then! I guess this summer’s season couldn’t happen cause of covid.... But I’m still excited for when/if it does eventually come out!

Avatar the Last Airbender

Shows that I’ve partially watched but not completely:

We Bare Bears - I’ve seen the first 2 seasons, maybe some of the third I can’t remember, I watched it when it first came out but I haven’t watched it in a while, so I would probably need to rewatch a bunch of it (I did rewatch I think the first season sometime this year? But it was while working on school projects so I wasn’t giving it my full attention), apparently there’s also a movie now???

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - I was huge into the brony fandom from roughly 2013ish-2017ish, I’ve seen up to season 8 and a few episodes of season 9, and the 4 equestria girls movies, and the mlp movie; I probably know seasons 1 - 4 the most, maybe a little of 5, 6 and 7 are kinda fuzzy but I’ve seen them, 8 I watched over quarantine (since it’d been a few years since I had watched any of it, I also rewatched bits of 5-7) as well as I think the first episode or so of season 9, but I don’t remember them too well. I watched the movie (the pony one, not eqg) when it came out in theaters, and not too long after that I drifted away from the mlp fandom (tbh I was drifting a little bit before it came out, but I knew I had to stick in there at least until it came out since I had been waiting for so long for it). The equestria girls movies, I saw them all when they first came out (I even saw rainbow rocks in the theater). I think there’s like, half hour shorts or episodes or something?? That’s in the eqg universe?? But I don’t think I’ve seen any of them, and if I have it was probably a really early one a long time ago because I haven’t really kept up with anything after Legend of Everfree came out

Animaniacs reboot - I’ve seen the first 5 episodes and it’s nice!

Shows that I’ve only seen an episode or few of that I (probably) intend on continuing to watch:

Glitch Techs - I saw the first episode! Definitely want to continue it

Rick and Morty - I watched a few episodes of the first season in like March/April quarantine, but I was still dealing with online school at home finishing out last semester then. I think I want to watch this eventually, but I have other shows that I want to catch up on/watch before I’d get to this one

Tangled the Series - idk if that’s the name I’ve seen multiple names but I hope you know what I’m talking about, I saw a handful of episodes from the first season I think sometime around fall 2019, but I’d probably have to rewatch the whole thing

Adventure Time - I’ve never had cable/cartoon network so I didn’t watch this growing up, but I’ve heard really good things about it and seen a bunch of stuff from it (I’d have to be living under a rock to have not seen anything lol) but it’s so long and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet! Well I’ve seen maybe a dozen or so episodes of the first season but it was a while ago so I’d have/want to start over probably

Shows I haven’t started

Amphibia - I’ve heard it’s good! I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Avatar the Last Airbender - probably next on my list to watch, I’ve been meaning to watch it for years but I haven’t yet, its on Netflix now so that should make it easier to watch and a friend from school made me promise that this would be the next one I’d watch so that’s what I’m doing (I did watch the last 2 seasons of infinity train that night though, since I was really wanting to finish it first… But atla is next) watched it! (updated 12/2/20)

The Legend of Korra - obviously I’m waiting to watch it until after alta, and I’m probably going to watch it right after I finish atla

The Dragon Prince - idk really anything about it other than I think it’s on netflix? and apparently it’s good and maybe gay idk but I’ve heard it’s good thus why it’s on here lol

Black Horseman - idk too too much about this other than apparently it’s good but also kinda depressing. Similarly to rick and morty I want to watch it eventually but its not insanely high on my list

OK KO - don’t know a ton about it other than it’s decent, a step up from r+m/bojack on where I want to watch it but not urgently

Ducktales Reboot - similarly to OK KO, don’t know much about it other than it’s decent, same level of want to watch

Milo Murphy’s Law - saw a couple episodes when it came out, haven’t watched it in forever so if I ever do want to rewatch it I’d have to restart it, not super high on my priority list though

Bee and Puppycat - another one I almost forgot! I don’t know a ton about this but I’ve heard its nice! Plus from what I’ve seen I like the artstyle so  👀 maybe someday

Animaniacs (original) - I started to watch the reboot and I think I want to watch the original eventually! Just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Clone High - listen it’s not that I desperately WANT to watch this, I just have friends who are like, hey, watch this lol it’s apparently not super long so why not

Other non cartoon shows I’ve watched:

Brooklyn 99 - idk when I started watching it, maybe around season 4/5ish? I think sometime in 2018 so idk the season, idk, most of the episodes I’ve only seen once so I couldn’t tell you exactly what happens in every episode but I still like it

Rise - ugh I miss this show, I started watching it after/around when the 3rd episode came out (end of March 2018?), and I don’t think I’ve watched any of it since it ended (mid may 2018) cause its not on any streaming services anymore :/ at least not that I know of but I loved it and would love to rewatch it

Andi Mack - I’d heard it was good but hadn’t watched it after it ended (early august 2019 I think I watched it), haven’t rewatched it since then but it was decent, I mainly watched it cause I had seen clips of gay but yknow it was alright

Sex Education - watched 1st season sometime in 2019, when rewatched it/watched season 2 when it came out January 2020, this is like WAY more mature than like anything on this list but like it has an interesting story

Love Victor - watched first/currently only season when it came out mid june 2017 (how was June so long ago what)

Queer Eye - I’ve seen a couple seasons of it idk I figured why not add it lol

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - I think I watched this around when there were maybe a few episodes of season 1 left (well there’s only one season now but still), idk I liked it cause like musicals and stuff idk

Idk what else to add to this section but if I think of anything (to any category on this list) I’ll probably update it later maybe idk (again I’m not necessarily going to be reblogging stuff from all/any of these but like, I figured I’d mention it cause idk)

Musicals:

Another thing I love is musicals, like I’m a design/tech major in college rn so yeah I like theatre lol so I’m going to list some I’ve seen (mostly watched bootlegs of, but I’ll list some professional/tour ones I’ve seen in person)(but if it doesn’t say anything special I probably just watched a bootleg, 2017 was a big year for me and my google drive being filled with bootlegs…) This might not be all of them and I won’t go into as much detail (I hope, I haven’t typed it yet) but we’ll see:

Broadway tours I’ve seen: (I swear this isn’t bragging they were cheap seats way up high lol)

Dear Evan Hansen (May 2019)

Wicked (first professional show I saw, October 2017, haven’t watched a bootleg or anything of it since then and I went in completely blind)

Mean Girls (November 2019, last professional show I saw before quarantine)

Come From Away (September 2019)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (November 2018)

The Book of Mormon (August 2018, was hoping to again this August but quarantine :( )

Non professional/high school/college/other shows I’ve seen in person/been on crew for (not all of them, but some) (assume I’ve also seen bootlegs/proshots if there are any)

Newsies

Spring Awakening (spot op)

Shrek (props)

Legally Blonde

I’ve seen done way more but I don’t feel like listing them or that they’re anything I’d want go reblog/actively look at fandom content for (that’s not saying it reblog stuff from shrek the musical but still lol)

Other shows I’ve seen only in proshot/bootleg form:

Basically every Starkid show

Spies are Forever

The Solve it Squad

Hamilton

Heathers

Be More Chill (yes I was in that big amalgamation of musical fandom stuff with these and deh in 2017 aaaa)

Falsettos

Beetlejuice

Spongebob

21 Chump Street

Les Mis

Phantom

(Again maybe not necessarily all but some there’s a slight chance I might reblog things about)

Musicals I still need/want to watch/listen to:

The Prom

Six

The Great Comet (not typing it all out)

Hadestown

Waitress

Bonnie and Clyde

Something Rotten

Tuck Everlasting

Again there’s more I want to see I’m sure but I haven’t really watched bootlegs in a while…. Idk feel free to suggest shows tho

Movies I’ve seen/like: obviously I’m not gonna just every single movie I’ve seen but heres a few I like:

The Sound of Music

The Wizard of Oz - these 2 have actually always been my favorite movies since I was little, I can’t dee myself reblogging much of anything about them but figured I’d mention them cause why not

Love Simon

Some but not all Disney movies (I grew up with no cable/mostly just pbs)

Most pixar movies?

I don’t think John Mulaney shows count as movies but eh whatever I’ve seen them on netflix

Idk what else lol I know I’ve seen more movies than this but eh

If anyone actually read all of this... Wow I’m surprised honestly lol have a free cookie or something for your struggles or smth, idk, thanks for reading this though lol I appreciate you (but also slightly worry, this was a lot of words and a lot of rambling)

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

[heff88]

20 albums and 1 EP: my 2017 in music.

Hello all and welcome to my favourite records of 2017!

2017 has been quite a year for many reasons and musically is no different, as this has been one of the strongest years for new music in some time (which may or may not have to do with the current president in the white house and for one of these at least, Brexit). It has been a particularly great year for female voices in music - just under half the acts here are, or include, women or at least are female fronted, with Björk surely to join them - and I'm not sure there has been a time where women have been so well promoted. It is a stupid thing to have to say of course, but it is at least encouraging that change is happening in a positive way. It is also encouraging given the latter half of the year socio-politically has largely been concerned with how much assault and sexism women have to put up with in a very public but important manner (although again, this doesn't seem to be deterring the president, yet anyway.)

This year, I have chosen 20 (and 1 EP because I like to cheat) albums to feature, something I don't think I've been able to do before. This probably has much to do with this being my first full year as a (semi)-professional journalist, something I feel I really marked properly this time last year when I was sent to Prague to interview The Lumineers, which was a fairly mad-yet-incredible experience. However, it's not like I wasn't paying attention before, and I have made a playlist including 50 different records from 2017 I have enjoyed in some capacity and a more concise one for this list.

Since that Lumineers interview, I've had the opportunity to cover from great events and records in 2017, as well as meet a whole load of very welcoming and great people to whom I must say thanks (especially as today is Thanksgiving). To Derek of Drowned in Sound, Tallah from The Skinny, Caitlin from Uproxx and many others, thank you for your continued support and friendship, I couldn't have done it without any of you. In 2017 I got to:

Cover the BBC6 Music Festival in Glasgow, which was a really rather special weekend in my spiritual home. Interview some really excellent people, including: Jeremy Bolm, Touche Amore Angus Andrew, Liars Barry Burns, Mogwai Alex Cameron And finally, Joe Casey of Protomartyr (twice) which was by far the most difficult one, but ended up being pretty great.

I also got to keep travelling in the name of music journalism (what a trip!) by covering Mikkeller and The National's inaugural HAVEN Festival in Copenhagen (a city long overdue a visit - I loved it!) and got to see Iggy Pop be the absolute boss-man, and drink SO. MUCH. GREAT. BEER.

And even more crazily, I got sent out to CALGARY, ALBERTA CANADA to cover Sled Island. There I got to see the likes of Low, Mono and Waxahatchee play in a church, Converge play in a weird British Union Vets centre, Wolves in the Throne Room and Daughters in a dive bar and I got to see The Rolling Stones' mobile studio (which my parents visited just before I was born.) It was an amazing week I will never forget, full of incredible music and new friends, and while I didn't find Bret Hart I did get to tour the city's rather amazing beer scene, which I'm still in disbelief about, to be honest.

I also got to see and have many special live experiences this year less further afield, such as The XX's triumphant show outside SWG3, Glasgow, getting to see City of Caterpillar (!) after all these years in Berlin, Julien Baker play one of my all-time favourite songs, St. Vincent transcend mere mortal status, Mogwai play in a famous Berlin gay club for TV and Thee Oh Sees play in a tiny, cramped basement this summer.  

And finally, I RELEASED MY OWN ACTUAL, PHYSICAL ALBUM THIS YEAR!!! It was tough and stressful at times, but I am immensely proud of it and owe so much to my boys Kenni and Joe Campbell who make up FRAUEN, as well as the people around us who supported it, including Lewis Glass, Gary Taylor, Kyle Wood, Sean Campbell, Louise Grace Kenny (& Owen) my wonderful partner Ann-Christin Heinrich, and everyone who put on shows and came out to see us in our favourite haunts of Glasgow, Manchester, London, Brighton, Leeds and Newcastle (to name a few!) put us up for the night, drove us, bought a record, said a nice thing and generally were awesome.

So, onto the list. As a result of my year, I've decided to order this in release order rather than ranking, although I will point out the top five. A quick glance at this suggests that September was an absolutely ridiculous month (it was) and no I didn't forget LCD Soundsystem, whereas I have nothing in May (Do Make Say Think and Slowdive were... fine but nothing special.) I am currently catching up on stuff I missed as I am writing this, so to Julie Byrne, Aldous Harding, Kelly Lee Owens, SZA, Big Thief, Idles, Sampha, Jlin, Jay Som, Lorde, Vince Staples and as mentioned, Björk you could all find yourself making up your own list in a month's time.

A glaring but now expected omission is Science Fiction by Brand New, which up until a couple weeks ago I ranked as one of my top three records of the year. While of course, everyone should be wary of what we read online, Jesse Lacey's frankly embarrassing and vague response to the matter has, quite likely, put a disastrous end to a previously remarkable and canonised career which was setting itself up for a glorious and perfect ending in 2018. Now, it's very difficult to separate the art from the idea that this is an unsavoury at best, psychopathic at worst, white male who took advantage of his status and the surrounding scene towards young girls and called it a "sex addiction" which is highly troubling. Even his movements towards a "perfect end" to the band now feels slightly chilling, and at the time of writing, it seems as though he will (rightfully) not be rewarded with that. What a horrible turn of events for an artist and a band who have meant so much to so many people for well over a decade, the one band many have kept with them since their adolescence only for it all to go up in flames in an instant. The one (pyrrhic) positive from all this is that the continued conversation is finally giving victims a voice, and that is the most important matter which should never be forgotten.

OK, that unpleasantness behind us, let's get on with the list:

Priests - Nothing Feels Natural (January) *4th

So, just to completely undermine my ordering here, I slept massively on this band and album until the summer, almost six months after release. Thankfully, I caught them just in time to see them play live in Hamburg this June shortly after moving to Germany (oh yeah that happened too, what a year eh?) after seeing they were playing that week at the legendary Hafenklang venue. I checked out 'Jj' and was immediately bowled over, something a completely new artist to me hadn't done for some time. There's a moment in that song, a couple minutes in, where the sensation of "lifting off" occurs both in the music and listening experience, it is a thrill, to say the least. The rest of the album thankfully stood up just as highly (especially it's title track) and I admonished myself for not checking out this band clearly designed for my exact tastes. Live they were a force of nature, each member bringing something exciting, while collectively they reminded me of a tougher version of ESG's "dance-punk". So while I may have missed the boat initially, this record has quietly grown and grown in my estimation, to one of the year's standouts, and will be excited to see what they do next.

Thundercat - Drunk (February) *2nd 

The absolute boy does it again. Anyone who knows me knows Thundercat is one of my all-time boys, he'd be in my wrestling stable without a shadow of a doubt. I've been largely obsessed with Stephen Bruner since his fantastic turn on Flying Lotus's Cosmogramma and he has just got better ever since. For the first half of the year, Drunk was comfortably my favourite album of the record, knowing it would take something special to knock it off its perch (it did, but we'll come to that later). This is, paradoxically, both his most cohesive and chaotic album yet, detailing the wide range of emotions a drunk night on the tiles can elicit while also being his most confident statement musically yet. On top of that, Kendrick Lamar returns the favour for that 2016 Grammy win Bruner played a part in winning for To Pimp a Butterfly, the legendary Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald show up on the lead single, and in the album's clear highlight, Bruner completes his Tron suite with an ode to his cat of the same name.

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - The French Press (March) - EP of the year, for whatever that's worth.

Australian music, from Melbourne especially, is in a pretty impressive state right now. Along with the above, Alex Cameron, Royal Headache, Julia Jacklin, King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard and Total Control (to name a few) have in recent years created a formidable scene down under, making them a globally recognised force to be reckoned with in the music world. Despite the slightly annoying name, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever hit the BBC Radio 6 Playlists around March (though sadly not the Glasgow Music festival at the time) and with the song 'The French Press' turned many heads. The song gave 'Cause = Time' (a song somehow nearly 15 years old already) by Broken Social Scene a most welcome reboot while maintaining their own charming style. One would be forgiven for thinking this EP of the same name is just a vehicle for that one single, but no, to those who went out in search for more were rewarded with an excellent six tracks from top to bottom. This was only their second release after last year's Talk Tight so it will be very exciting to see what their first full-length LP brings us, hopefully, next year sometime.

Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. (April)

What can I say, it's Kendrick. Like Priests, I took a strangely long time to get round to DAMN. and not even really for any particular reason other than... just listening to other stuff and quietly knowing this would be great when I did finally come around to it. Though DAMN. for me doesn't quite meet the insanely high mark of Lamar's previous two albums, it's still a very, very strong album from one of the best artists of the generation. While this may have the bombast of Good Kid or the sheer scale of Butterfly DAMN. still shows Lamar's incredible skill as a storyteller, dropping the listener into a fully realised world, largely because it's his reality. On top of this, he manages to write a song featuring U2 and it not be the worst thing ever! Outside of that, however, James Blake gets to return on his sparse roots on 'ELEMENT.' ahead of their co-headline tour next year, which singles 'HUMBLE.' and 'DNA.' prove Lamar's chops as an artist able to step back from his bigger concepts and make his point in three-minute bursts.

Timber Timbre - Sincerely, Future Pollution (April)

One of the most perennially underrated bands out, Canadian creepers Timber Timbre had one of the most quietly solid records of the year with Sincerely, Future Pollution. I've never been sure why they haven't quite caught the wider imagination as some of their peers, such as Grizzly Bear for instance, who sonically have had a very similar trajectory from lo-fi "freak-folk" to a more electronic indebted sound. Whatever it is, in a year where everyone and their dog were (understandably) wanting to comment on the state of things in a post-Trump/Brexit world, Timber Timbre took a more subtle approach (a word that perfectly describes the band overall) as they brought up 80's, Reagan-era sleaze into a modern context, with a healthy dose of Lynchian nightmarish images and structures. Through 9 feverish trips to the classical image of the decaying (in this case, swamp-ridden) city, we see the toxic nature of contemporary Western society poisoning everyone who embraces it, all soundtrack to lounge-jazz samples. It is perhaps the darkest, most sinister record of the year, a prevailing sense of creepiness and uneasiness permeates every beat, every noise, every line of frontman Taylor Kirk's deadpan delivery in a completely different way to say, Alex Cameron's multi-coloured coke-ridden characters. As the album's alluring cover suggests, this is all your favourite black-and-white 70s paranoia films come to life.

Listen: Sewer Blues

Hey Colossus - The Guillotine (June)

Speaking of underrated, how the hell did everyone sleep on Hey Colossus this year? Perhaps they overshot themselves on their epic 2015 double albums In Black & Gold/Radio Static High, but this for me was the best British album of the year and one of the only to really address the mess the UK has got itself into. While the sludge/psyche rock act may not be quite as chaotic or as heavy as some of their earlier output, this is easily their sharpest to date, pinpointing the rage, anger, frustrating, sorrow and even humour in the current idea of being an "Englishman". This is a loose concept album, based on very similar themes and sounds as Timber Timbre's (albeit heavier) which skewers the current public conscious, but also provides genuinely breath-taking moments on songs like 'Calenture Boy'.

Englishman

Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up (June)

Robin Pecknold's triumphant return to music and to Fleet Foxes has been one of the major stories of the year, though he received mixed responses for it. In preparation for this album, Fleet Foxes' third and first in 6 years, Pecknold debuted a few of these songs, solo, supporting Joanna Newsom last year. At the time it was just good to know he was still writing songs, but the sheer ambition and kaleidoscopic scope of Crack-Up is incredible, for a band largely known for kicking off the folk resurgence in earnest. This record is rather like an intense, feverish, psychedelic vision in which Pecknold leads our hand, a singular voice in the void, while the music moves from madness to calm and back again across 11 beautifully composed tracks. The first time opener 'All That I Need' kicks in, it takes the listener completely off-guard, washing them away in the oceans and the incoming storm on the album's artwork sleeve, and the only hope is to try to ride it out and hope you survive. It is a genuinely impressive return to form, one I'm not sure many people thought Pecknold and Co still had in them.

Fool’s Errand

Sheer Mag - Need to Feel Your Love (July)

It's not often where a band, especially as politically fierce as Sheer Mag are, just consistently put a smile on your face and make you raise a fist and shout "YES!" But that's the Philadelphia punk-via-70s-radio-rock band do in spades. They manage to elicit a feeling in their music of so-called "simpler times" while simultaneously bludgeoning you in the face with the bullshit attitudes that were just as much of a problem in the 70s as they are today (in fact, an era partly responsible for them). Led by perhaps one of the best frontpeople in music today, Tina Halliday and guitarist co-writer Matt Palmer, Sheer Mag are the quintessential punk band in everything but their sound, one which the original punks would have openly mocked at the time. The irony, of course, is that those original "punk" acts, The Ramones, Sex Pistols, Clash etc. took largely from 70s glam-rock, they just sped up the songs and make the themes and lyrics angrier. Sheer Mag in many ways remind me of Fucked Up, another punk-band obsessed with 70s revivalism. Both bands understand with loving care and passion that to create truly great punk music, one has to look outside the obvious influences, while keeping an ear open for a catchy hook to couple with prescient themes on oppression, race, sexism, homophobia, police brutality which still plague us today. We need acts like Sheer Mag in these troubling times to remind us, there is another way.

Suffer Me

Waxahatchee - Out in the Storm (July)

Processing a rough break-up is one of music's classic tropes (hell I did it on that album I put out this year - I promise to shut up about that now) but if the recent re-evaluation of the early-to-mid Emo/Pop-Punk scene has taught us anything, it's that even these so-called "sensitive" boys can be just as much of the patriarchal problem as more aggressively "macho" acts out there (and in some instances, actually worse).  This is a round-about way of saying, traditionally, we rarely get to hear the female side of the story, and if we do, it is often met with patronising audiences of "poor little girl" syndrome. So what a breath of fresh air it has been to see Katie Crutchfield's Waxahatchee project break free of the shackles of a somewhat suffocating relationship that involved both her romantic and music life and create an album that deconstructs relationships and toxic masculinity in such brilliant fashion. Over the course of these 10 songs, Crutchfield proudly wears her battle-scars and reflects upon where she was and where she is now on Out in the Storm. I saw Crutchfield twice this year, first in the aforementioned church in Calgary, solo, essentially introducing this album to a new audience, and then later, all-female live band featuring her sister Alison (who also supported and is an excellent talent in her own right) and British guitarist Katie Harkin (Sky Larkin, Sleater-Kinney) who really helped make this album shine. Every song here is a stunner, but in 'Sliver' we have one of the best songs of the year, an anthem of defiance that neatly sums up this great, great album.

Silver

Grizzly Bear - Painted Ruins (August) *5th

One of the big narratives of music in 2017 was the "comeback" of mid-to-late 2000s indie-rock having a resurgence. Along with the aforementioned Fleet Foxes, we also had return records from The National, Wolf Parade, LCD Soundsystem and Liars, for instance, most of whom will show up later in this list (because I'm a nostalgic mark apparently). Grizzly Bear have been one of the most consistent acts in that world and with their 5th album Painted Ruins only continued to prove that. While I'm not sure they'll ever top my personal favourite, Yellow House, in fairness, the band made a statement that they were moving away from the more lo-fi, freak-folk and more towards chamber pop on Veckatimest. Grizzly Bear remain an amazing and consistently surprising act who reveal themselves with every listen, a tactic they've still not lost in over a decade. They can do a big pop song 'Mourning Sound' and the more subtle 'Neighbors' but they still after all this time have the ability to pull the rug from underneath you 'Three Rings', 'Four Cypresses'. While this certainly was a great year for "indie" music (whatever that really means) but Grizzly Bear remain the torchbearers.

Neighbors

Liars - TFCF (August)

I'll admit it, this album may have eluded me if I hadn't been commissioned to interview Angus Andrew this summer. I've never been a huge fan of Liars, but I've always liked their style and ambition to always try something new with every record, even if with varying results. But man, I am glad I had that experience with Andrew, because TFCF, striking artwork and all, is a mini-career benchmark for him. Liars is now just a solo act, after Andrew's partner in crime Aaron Hemphill suddenly departed from the band when recording sessions for TFCF began initially in Los Angeles. Andrew's world was turned upside down by this revelation, so his reaction was to move back to his native Australia, and become a hermit in the bush in New South Wales, outside of Sydney. The result is an album where Andrew fully immerses himself in his surroundings, using field recordings of the natural world he is currently living in as the background sound for him to write songs over. It's an intriguing experience, especially as I don't believe Liars' music have ever really been described as "emotional" before leading TFCF to sound almost like The Moon & Antartica-era Modest Mouse in places. This isn't the only characteristic though, as Andrew jumps around from genre to genre, all unified by this... buzzing of the bush that sits underneath it all. While not quite Andrew's peak of records like Drum's Not Dead or the self-titled album, this is a small renaissance in his career, and it will be interesting to see where he goes next.

Cred Woes

Mogwai - Every Country's Sun (September)

Yeah, it's another Mogwai album, which at this stage feels like a warm cup of tea and a hug, but there's no denying they keep on keeping on. In recent years Mogwai have slowed down their studio album production, favouring soundtrack work for TV and Film in recent years - such as last year's Atomic and Before the Flood, but they remain a solid act and for my money the greatest Scottish and further, British, act outside of Radiohead. Every Country's Sun is a mere reminder of the band's consistent greatness in a year where similar acts Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Do Make Say Think also had strong entries. While there are some familiar tropes on Mogwai's latest, their 9th studio album, they did add one of their poppiest songs ever 'Party in the Dark' and a more subtle use of the Carpenter-esque electronics that characterised Rave Tapes on tracks like 'aka47'. The best is indeed saved for last, however, as the album's excellent title track that closes the album is perhaps one of the band's most epic yet, one I wouldn't be surprised if featured at Celtic or Scotland games in the future.

Party in the Dark

Alex Cameron - Forced Witness (September)

Well, this one came from left-field. Again, like Liars, I may well have missed this one had I not been sent to interview him, and even then, my enjoyment wasn't assured given Cameron's retroactive sound and questionable lyrical content. However, when it quickly became apparent that Cameron is playing a role lampooning the toxic masculinity his characters exude which is seemingly openly everywhere in 2017. While some fans were disappointed Cameron moved away from his singular, lo-fi sound of his debut Jumping the Shark, his move towards 80s sleaze-pop, like Timber Timbre, is an excellent vehicle in which his rather pathetic characters exist. It's an intriguing idea, as rarely do musicians or artists "play the loser", something that only tends to exist in the world of acting. In many ways, Cameron is a performance artist, although in seeing him live (in his semi-hometown Berlin where he recorded the album) he unmasks and speaks about his songs candidly. Whatever it is, Forced Witness is an excellent album full of excellent, catchy ditties, especially his duet with Angel Olsen, who plays her own interesting role in the background of this album, that explore some fairly dark themes with a sense of humour and irony that stay, just about, on the convincing side.

Stranger’s Kiss (duet with Angel Olsen)

The National - Sleep Well Beast (September)

Another year, another solid National album. The National will, it seems, always have a spot on my list, though Sleep Well Beast didn't crack the top 10 when I was voting in my respective publications. Sleep Well Beast, The National's seventh studio album, sees the band try and mix things up with the seemingly inevitable turn towards electronic music that basically every guitar-based band eventually dabble in. The results are mostly successful, though in many ways this isn't as much of a departure as first suggested, remaining very much a National album. The one disappointment, in fact, is that it _doesn't_ go further in it's "electronica" as tracks like 'Guilty Party' prove there are some legs there, but towards the end, they become a bit over-reliant on pretty much one style which gets a little trying. In fact, Sleep Well Beast is probably their most piano-based record as opposed to guitars or electronica, which leads to beautiful opener 'Nobody Else Will Be There'. Meanwhile, the band step back into their older territory on tracks like 'Day I Die' and the somewhat unfairly maligned 'Turtleneck'. It's nowhere near the band's best, but The National are like a familiar friend you can not see for years and dip in with and catch up like no time has passed and will always be welcome to visit. (Fun fact, Ann and I were present for the shooting of the ‘I’ll Still Destroy You’ video as it was at their HAVEN festival, however sadly we didn’t get in!)

I’ll Still Destroy You

Chelsea Wolfe - Hiss Spun (September)

Chelsea Wolfe has slowly been getting better and darker throughout her career. Personally, I'm a little surprised Hiss Spun hasn't featured on more end of year lists, as it is a star turn from the still young LA-based goth, aided massively with Kurt Ballou's MASSIVE production and guitar chops from Queens of the Stone Age's Troy van Leeuwen. Perhaps its because she's fully embraced her "metal-side" that critics have been a little allergic to it, I'm sure there would have been a few raised eyebrows at Aaron Turner (ISIS/Old Man Gloom)'s roar at the end of the excellent 'Vex'. Either way, this is an album from an artist clearly in the ascendancy, and may well prove to be a stepping stone to a masterpiece in the future. Of all the artists currently out there, she's certainly got the most potential for it.

16 Psyche

Wolves in the Throne Room - Thrive Woven (September)

Continuing on with Metal, here is by far the heaviest entry on this list (though Converge, of course, run them close) from Olympia, Washington's Wolves in the Throne Room. I had the pleasure of getting to see the American Black Metal legends (I think we're good to give them that title now) this summer in Calgary and it was an overwhelming experience. To those who don't know, it may seem at odds to describe extreme, heavy metal as "beautiful" but that is Black Metal. Its atmosphere achieves a sensation that is transcendent when done right and WITTR are masters of it. From the second 'Born in the Serpent's Eye' begins, the listener is immediately fully submerged. From there on, this is yet another masterpiece in the band's already exemplary canon and it is good to have them back to winning ways after the disappointing left-turn 'Celestial'.

Born from the Serpent’s Eye

Protomartyr - Relatives in Descent (September) *1st place

Head and shoulders above, this is the best album of the year. Protomartyr have been quietly getting better and better with every record, and almost achieved a perfect record in 2015's The Agent Intellect, a record that has aged incredibly well since its slightly underrated release. Now, there's no avoiding it, the band's first album for Domino records is seeing a much bigger audience for the Detroit post-punk band who next year could well see themselves at the higher end of many festival slots. Simply put, Protomartyr are the most exciting punk act in the world right now. No one is doing anything as interesting, exciting, challenging as Protomartyr, their heavy, philosophical themes mixed with their highly original sounds. Just listen to the opener 'A Private Understanding' and see. Who else would dare open an album and a lead single with one of the weirdest drum-beats every committed, an off-key guitar line, frontman Joe Casey delivering the line "Not by my own hand/Automatic writing by phantom limb/Not with my own voice/Pleurisy made to stand on two legs". While Casey is pretty humble and coy about his band's success and journalists (myself included) who wanted to impose mad theories about "BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?" when really the answer is "truth is a slippery thing, just listen to it." Sage advice indeed, when the music is this good.

A Private Understanding

Wolf Parade - Cry, Cry, Cry (October)

Wolf Parade's triumphant return last year with an EP and Tour was one of the highlights of 2016. Their show at the Scala was one of the best of the year, a renewed vigour that was clearly waning by the end of the previous run was back and they looked fresh and happy to be here. It is perhaps no surprise then that they were able to translate that to the follow-up LP, 'Cry, Cry, Cry' (which came out on my birthday this year). Yes, it's a cleaner more polished sound, but goddamn they can still write a song. In 'You're Dreaming' and 'Valley Boy' we have great pop songs from Dan Boeckner and Spencer Krug respectively, but it's when the album goes BIG that it really shines, on such epics as 'Flies on the Sun', 'Baby Blue' and 'Weaponized'. Of course, 'Cry, Cry, Cry' isn't close to their incredible debut, but that's an impossible standard to meet, so the band don't even try it, instead streamlining their later sound into something more confident and coherent (see: 'Am I an Alien Here') and it's a very welcome to have them back.

You’re Dreaming

St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION (October)

A bit like Alex Cameron's Forced Witness, MASSEDUCTION is very much a response to celebrity and paparazzi. Though Cameron doesn't really sing about that (it doesn't really fit with the character) the title and artwork certainly do allude to it, while one of the major themes of MASSEDUCTION is on this. Annie Clark had a very public break up with Cara Delevingne which also takes up much of the record, but you can't really pin this album on any one particular event or theme, other than Clark's re-evaluation and sexual freedom. MASSEDUCTION is an experience worth seeing live, which made the album work for me, which I was initially a little tentative about. I saw glowing reviews but didn't quite match them up to the music. Then, seeing Clark "live" (which has caused much controversy), everything made sense. After a first half set where she ran through her greatest hits in release date order, the second half saw her perform the album in full and it really was a performance. Then everything clicked, in what could be Clark's best record to date, which is an already very high benchmark to clear.

New York

Fever Ray - Plunge (October)

Speaking of sexual liberation, (what a segue!) a couple weeks after St. Vincent's album, Karin Dreijer Andersson, better known as Fever Ray, surprised fans with a new album which plays on similar themes to Clark's. While Dreijer's not quite in the public eye the way Clark has become, she instead crafts an album about sexual politics which is dangerous-yet-endearing and seems particularly pertinent in this current spate of highly public reportage of sexual assault incidents currently ongoing. As ever, Dreijer proves why she is such a force of nature in composing these tracks, which are challenging and danceable, poppy and angry etc. with 'To the Moon and Back' she has a defining statement, a manifesto and a rallying cry, carrying on the theme's from The Knife's possible final record Shaking the Habitual perfectly.

To the Moon and Back

Golden Teacher - No Luscious Life (November)

One of Glasgow's best bands, Golden Teacher's debut full length has been waited on for some time. Really, this sextet are best experienced live, as every show immediately becomes a party. It can be difficult sometimes for highly-energised acts to capture that on record, but thankfully Golden Teacher manage it with the help of Emily McLaren & Stuart Evans at Green Door Studios. Golden Teacher are for me the quintessential Glasgow band. They exist in a liminal zone that links the city's art-punk scene with the world-famous electronic scene, hence their inclusion on the legendary Optimo's label. The record mix funk, world and electronic music with a punk energy and are an absolute thrill to experience, it would be impossible to not put this record and not feel the groove.

Spiriton

Converge - The Dusk In Us (November) *3rd Place

And finally, rounding out this excellent year are one of my all-time favourite bands, Converge. While I don't really listen to much heavy music these days, Converge are the exception to the rule in many ways. They exist in their own space within music that is fiercely inventive and original. I recently had an argument with a few people about what genre to classify Converge as and simply put, it's an impossible and unnecessary task. Converge simply don't fit into any easy genre classification, they are just Converge. What is a surprise was that, though Converge have never really had a dip in quality, the fact they have been able to produce such a career highlight this late into their salad days is nothing short of remarkable but also typically them? The Dusk in Us is an incredible achievement by all involved. It is perhaps Ballou's best production job to date, Newton and Koller's most controlled performance and, crucially, Jacob Bannon's most assured vocals to date. It seems ridiculous that the 25-year-old band keep finding ways to better themselves, but here we are. Kudos to you Converge for remaining such an inspirational figure not just in the heavier genres, but music as a whole.

A Single Tear

Thank you for reading! Have a happy new year and great festive season. 

[kvndeathmusic]

THE BEST RECORDS OF THE 2010S PT 2 (THE TOP 10!!!!!!)

if you thought the last post was long, you just wait. ive also decided to actually number this list, but pls keep in mind my opinions change often and drastically so dont think anything is set here.

please read my other post too if you want to know about the records i like a little less than the ones here as well as some honorable mentions

#10: Some Rap Songs  -  Earl Sweatshirt (2018) 

This record is a perfect fusion of rap and lofi hip hop. Nobody makes a beat like Earl, and this record is a perfect example. Earl uses his samples to create layered soundscapes of distorted vocals and sounds, paired with his emotionally blunt flows. It’s short, but it really doesn’t feel that short, and frankly I could re-listen to it a handful of times in a row and probably not care that much. Not to sound like Todd Howard, but it just works dude. 

#9:  ゼロコンマ、色とりどりの世界   -  Mass of the Fermenting Dregs (2010)

According to Google, this record’s title translates to Zero Comma, Multicolored World. Which is interesting. I wish I knew Japanese just to understand this kind of stuff to be honest. But that’s besides the point.

Zero Comma, Multicolored World is a fantastic collection of tracks from my personal favorite J-Rock band, Mass of the Fermenting Dregs. Like for context, I got into this band around the same time as I got into Nirvana. I spent the entire summer of 2016 crying to In Utero, playing Overwatch while listening to MF DOOM, and jamming to Mass of the Fermenting Dregs. I managed to find a copy of their fantastic self-titled EP when I was in Tokyo a few years back. Anyways I’ve gotten off track. 

This record is a breathe of fresh air for those tired of American “alt-rock”, incorporating elements of shoegaze, post-hardcore, pop, and more to create a totally unique and explosive record. Every member of this band is playing out of their minds on some of these tracks, and lead singer/bassist Natsuko Miyamoto’s vocals are powerful and blend so well with everything else this record offers. At this point in most paragraphs I’d gush about some specific tracks but I don’t have a Japanese keyboard to write the track titles and I’m lazy, so just trust me and go listen to this record, their self-titled EP, the reunion record No New World from 2018, and their EP World is Yours if anything I’ve said interests you. 

#8: Fetch  -  Melt-Banana (2013)

This record melts my fucking brain dude. Melt-Banana is some of the most eccentric and weird music I’ve ever heard, blending noise, punk, and just plain absurdity to create music that I want to simultaneously describe as cursed and blessed. From the wailing walls of pure volume coming from the guitars to the sporatic and often manic vocals, this record sounds like no other I’ve ever heard. My personal favorite tracks are Hive, Candy Gun, Zero, and Schemes of the Tails. Seriously, if this sounds interesting to you, set aside 32 minutes to just appreciate this record. It’ll be worth your time. 

#7: Joy as an Act of Resistance - IDLES (2018)

On Joy as an Act of Resistance, British band IDLES offers up some of the best punk of the decade in a package that is full of hope, anger, and love. From singer Joe Talbot’s cries for unity in tracks like Danny Nedelko and Great, to self love anthems like Television and I’m Scum, Joy offers an alternative to their much angrier and sad 2017 debut record Brutalism, which I now realize I forgot to include on my fucking honorable mentions god damn it. Anyways, this record isn’t all sweet. IDLES tackles some heavier topics on this record as well, with songs like Samaritans dismantling toxic masculinity, Rottweiler tearing into sensationalist news and media, and the introspective June seeing Joe speak bluntly about his experience being the father of a stillborn. It’s also some of the unique punk out there at the moment, with jangly guitar “riffs”, Joe’s accent heavy shouts, and noisey drums. IDLES is definitely a band to pay attention to going into the 20s. 

#6: Adults!!!... Smart!!! Shithammered!!! And Excited By Nothing!!!!!  -  Bomb the Music Industry (2010)

Adults!!! is short, coming in at 21 minutes over the course of 7 tracks. And yet, this EP contains some of the catchiest and refined ska punk of the decade. The record acts almost as a condensed summation of BTMI’s entire career, featuring some of the repeated themes that has defined Jeff’s whole discography. Not only that, but some of BTMI’s best tracks are on this EP, from Jeff’s strained vocals on You Still Believe in Me?, to the peppy and depressing Planning My Death, to the defiant Slumlord and the explosive penultimate track, The First Time I Met Sanawon. I could wish it was longer, but I’ll be honest, with the quality of tracks here, I don’t care. It’s a near flawless EP that represents everything I love about one of my favorite bands ever.

#5: The Money Store - Death Grips (2012)

Like Fetch, The Money Store is similarly mind melting in completely different ways. This record is brutal. MC Ride’s “vocals” are like no other, with some describing them as the shouts of a drugged up homeless man. Paired with ear bursting, stereo busting beats, and esoteric dark flows, the picture this record paints is one of filth and primal violence. And I love every minute of it. And despite the harsh nature of this record, some of these beats fucking slap. This record features some of the weirdest uses of sampling, like seriously who the fuck finds Arabic Nokia ringtones and thinks “yeah let’s sample these in like half the tracks on this record” and make it sound this good. And at times I have no clue how they even managed to make some of the sounds they did. All of this is backed with Zack Hill’s extremely technical and wild drumming. I contemplated putting other Death Grips records in this spot, but The Money Store is the complete DG package. It also has Hacker on it. im in your area 

#4: Teens of Denial  -  Car Seat Headrest (2016)

I’m a fucking moron and I’ll tell you why. When I initially heard the first few tracks from this record when I was 17, I wasn’t that blown away. Like, I added Fill in the Blank, Vincent, and Destroyed by Hippie Powers to my big ass shuffle playlist and didn’t bother digging much deeper. Here I am now, 20 years old, kicking myself in the ASS for overlooking Car Seat Headrest for this long. I only gave this album a proper listen to back in January! And I LOVE it! Teens of Denial is a fantastic record, full of complex, multilayered tracks that are not only incredibly catchy, but full of heart and passion. Lead singer and songwriter Will Toledo has voice that sounds equally uneasy and leaking with confidence, and that confidence spills over into every aspect of this record. While not as emotionally intense as their only other studio LP as of February 2020, Teens of Denial is just track after track of some of the greatest indie rock made this decade. Including the songs I mentioned before, you’ve also got Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales, 1937 State Park, and the powerful Cosmic Hero. And if you like reading, the narrative of this record is interesting to follow.  And while I was working on this list they literally just announced a new record so like I’m fucking hyped dude. 

#3: To Pimp a Butterfly - Kendrick Lamar (2015)

Ok. Look. I know everybody is putting this at their #1 spot. And they probably have even more to say about this record than I do. There’s probably nothing I can say that hasn’t been said a million times by literally everyone. But that’s just a testament to the quality of this record. This is one of the greatest hip hop records ever made, if not the best depending on who you ask. Some of my favorite rap songs are on this record, Wesley’s Theory, King Kunta, Alright, The Blacker The Berry, and more. TPAB offers detailed glimpses into one of the biggest rappers in the world’s psyche and pain, mixed with profound social and political messages. The beats on this record are beautifully mixed with jazz and gospel influences, starting a trend many artists have since continued. And Kendrick’s signature flow from gkmc are at their absolute finest on TPAB. There is something to enjoy out of this record no matter your background, which would explain this record’s near universal appeal. To Pimp a Butterfly is just full of life, energy, and passion. It’s weird to think this record is only 5 years old, because it feels just as powerful as it did when it came out.

#2: Twin Fantasy - Car Seat Headrest (2018)

Twin Fantasy is a rare kind of record. The emotions expressed on this record are intense and laid flat out for you to hear, dissect, and empathize with. The entire record being structured around the idea of reflection works both as a fun way to organize a diverse and varied track listing, while also playing into a handful of the record’s motifs and themes. Speaking of which, each song on this album has a unique identity, both in terms of sound and feeling, and how it plays into the larger narrative of this record. Some songs have multiple tonal shifts, such as the epic Beach Life-In-Death, split into three distinct parts making it a song that, despite its 13 minute run-time, is a song I never grow tired of listening to. What each track shares, however, is the same fantastic songwriting, with layered instrumentals and some of Will’s greatest vocal performances. It also helps that all the tracks are just flat out catchy, like the fantastic Bodies, the chill Sober to Death, and the energetic Nervous Young Inhumans. While the 2011 original is great, the 2018 rerecording adds so much new complexity and clarity to this record. In addition to the original themes, the 2018 version adds new perspectives and meta commentary to the 2011 original, with Will reflecting on the feelings he was experiences at the time he wrote the original record, 7 years afterwards, adding an additional layer to this record’s larger narrative. The final 22 minutes of this record provides a strong emotional climax to the record, sending off a fantastic and absolutely classic record. There’s a good chance that, in 10 more years or so, I may look back at this record and put it above my #1 record. Hell, while I write this I really question whether or not I should do it. What I’m trying to say is, take that #2 with a grain of salt, because I love this record just as much as my #1 at this point. No record has managed to leave such a profound and strong impression on me this quickly after my first listen a few months ago, besides Twin Fantasy. Because Twin Fantasy is a rare kind of record. It’s a perfect record.  And now it’s time for my favorite record of the decade. It’s probably obvious what it is considering some of the things I’ve said on this list, so without any more delay...

#1: WORRY.  -  Jeff Rosenstock (2016)

WORRY. is my personal favorite record of the decade and of all time. It is an absolutely triumphant record. Every song here is a classic. WORRY. radiates pure, unfiltered energy that I haven’t been able to shake for the nearly 4 years this record has been out. Songs like Festival Song and Wave Goodnight to Me still get me pumped, and the so called “WORRY. medley” that spans the back half of this record rivals the medley of Abbey Road. And the opening track, We Begged 2 Explode, fuck man it’s a hell of an opener. Hell, I know every line spoken on this record. This record is a product of a man who has spent over 20 years perfecting his music, never compromising to trends or demands. Jeff has always been open about what he loves and what he believes in, and it’s no more apparent than on this record. Trying to describe every way in which this record works for me leaves me grasping for the right words to describe the feeling. It’s a record that makes you wanna chant along to it, move your body to it, and tell everyone you love about it.  So just listen to it. I don’t care if you don’t like punk, or ska, or ska punk, or just garage/indie rock in general, or if my enthusiasm hasn’t sold you. This is one of the best records out there and you can either realize it now, or regret it later. 

I know the record literally says that the perfect sound doesn’t exist. But it does. And it sounds like this.

And that’s it for this list. I’m excited to see what the new decade brings. If my mind ever changes about these records, or I get around to listening to a record that deserves to be on this list, maybe I’ll do an updated version, but like right now? This is how I feel.

[hurricance]

multiples of 5 :)

oh hell yeah

5. three songs you wish you could forget (because listening to them hurts)

-> girl that you love / panic! at the disco - it’s the only panic song i actively dislike and it’s a blemish on an otherwise incredible record

-> dogsong / toby fox - unpopular opinion the undertale soundtrack is fucking amazing but this song used to be my ringtone in the summer and i hate phone calls so it activates my fight-or-flight response now

-> the feeling / justin bieber ft. halsey - ok i actually really like this song but i hate that i had to purchase a jb song just because im a halsey stan :/

10. three favourite halloween/spooky songs

-> it’s almost halloween / panic! at the disco - i mean. come on

-> title / disasterpiece - this one is the main theme from “it follows” (which i plan on watching but haven’t yet whoops) and it’s just really good but also. terrifying

-> time warp / rocky horror picture show cast - another movie i have not actually watched but this song bangs

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

-> sweet creature / harry styles - it’s just a soft and pretty song about love and i love that :^)

-> come what may / nicole kidman & ewan mcgregor - BITCH moulin rouge is the best movie of this millennium imho and this. song im. love invented

-> first day of my life / bright eyes - this one is so cliche but man it’s good

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sent this ask

-> writer in the dark / lorde - DUH this is chatham’s song

-> sweet life / frank ocean - i’ve known this song for a long time but i really started liking it when me chatham and shy were on our roadtrip and it was on the playlist so it always reminds me of that time!

-> jump then fall / taylor swift - we’re problematic for our tswift phases and i didn’t know this song until last summer when we were all listening to her entire discography absjabfijb

25. three favourite songs of 2017

-> hard feelings / lorde - LOVELESS IS GOOD TOO BUT THIS ONE JUST. FUCK it got me through a real rough patch in the summer i would literally finish work and listen to melodrama so fucking loud on the drive home and scream cry (only a few tears because im a safe driver!!) the lyrics to this song in particular and even last semester it got me through some shit like i owe so much to this song bitch

-> 26 / paramore - again another song that was really there for me when i needed it. it’s just a comforting, soft, sad song that i adore in every way

-> ever since new york / harry styles - i know some people find this song really lame but idk it just struck a chord with me (no pun intended) and i love it a lot

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

-> bishops knife trick / fall out boy - HERE SHE GOES AGAIN ABOUT BISHOPS KNIFE TRICK I KNOW BUT i would’ve put this as an answer on the previous question if it hadn’t come out in 2018 because this might literally be my favourite song of all time. fob has a lot of really meaningful lyrics for me but this song truly takes the cake. I’VE GOT A FEELING INSIDE THAT I CAN’T DOMESTICATE / IT DOESN’T WANNA LIVE IN A CAGE / A FEELING THAT I CAN’T HOUSEBREAK!!!! i cannot accurately describe what this song makes me feel because it’s just so MUCH. i would literally die for this one

-> la de da de da de da de day oh / bill wurtz - yes this is the history of japan guy but hear me out this song is a little silly but some of the lyrics are so. wow. and it’s catchy and innovative just a good kinda sad bop

-> the gold / manchester orchestra - this one was hitting on the alternative charts hardcore and for good reason. i can’t describe it really but it’s just. very good