#okay so basically mitski’s new album fucked me up

[zaiofender]

now the world is mine alone / with no one, no one to share the memory

[arberxhekaj]

tagged by @babygirlboberrey to put my "on repeat" playlist on shuffle and post the first ten songs let's go

pressure to party by julia jacklin i've listened to so much julia jacklin and only julia jacklin for the last 48 hours

anything but by hozier new favourite breakup song ! also literally just saw hozier in concert a week ago

bug like an angel by mitski first time i heard this song i cried bc yep. that's what alcoholism feels like

first time by hozier okay i've been listening to a lot of hozier lately and have also been experiencing heartbreak like i didn't even know was possible !! u got me

angel of small death and the codeine scene by hozier jesus christ

minnesota by samia i love samia and the weekend before last i was, in fact, in minnesota

ready or not by shakey graves ft. sierra farrell i do love the new album and i love basically everything he releases but nothing and i mean nothing will ever top can't wake up

pruneau by valence esti enfin de musique québécoise mais honnêtement je n'écoute pas tant de valence

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by del water gap i don't know why this is on here tbh

de selby (part two) by hozier oh for fuck's sake

tagging @phineasgage @st-louis @habsjost @goodsticklehky uhhh i dont have many hockey mutuals who havent already done this so i'm also tagging the girl reading this 😳

[fiddleabout]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but what type of music do you think all the RWBY girls would listen to?

ETA OKAY SO LIKE idk when tumblr decided that sub bullets were no longer a fucking option but like apparently they aren’t so that fucks up the entire way this is posting and i APOLOGIZE but also fuck this website

***

hmmmmm okay let’s GO:

ruby is easy to figure out-- she’s all about rock.  she vacillates between more straightforward rock sounds and heavier and metal sounds, but  if there’s not a big angry guitar leading the sound she probably isn’t going to like it

>exception: folks like rina sawayama, who basically created her own pop-metal hybrid genre

>>also an exception: she WILL jam with the entire chess records discography

>>also: kitten, bat fangs, everything that came out of olympia WA in the 90s

weiss...hmm okay so like here’s the deal with weiss

>my default instinct is to want to say that weiss is half super sad super emo stuff, a la the weepies and julien baker, and like...aggressively pop-ish stuff like kesha and carly rae jepsen 

>but also we have weiss in canon singing like...angsty emo opera metal

>>and like to be clear i think what you perform/place =/= what you like 

>>but also like....you probably do not hate it very much, i would guess

>so like the fun split-the-difference on that for me is that weiss is like

>>10% angsty emo metal bc like you cannot put that in the show and expect me not to latch onto it and i have fully latched onto it and she 100% listens to nightwish a LOT

>>50% Sad Serious Musicians who sing sad songs

>>>so y’know like...bon iver, but only ironically, and sufjan unironically, and julien baker etc etc

>>40% absolutely pure sugary pop goodness like early kesha and all carly rae jepsen and also some like mid-aughts hilary duff

>>>ESPECIALLY come clean, which she has unequivocally listened to like 900 times in a private session on spotify so no one can know about it

blake: bless her, blake has fucking pretentious hipster music tastes and i say that with literally all of the love in my pretentious hipster music loving heart

>so like....new pornographers and boygenius and christine and the queens and soccer mommy and vhs collection and paramore but only their new stuff and mostly just hayley williams’ solo work because williams clearly needed Time And Space On Her Own To Make Her Best Music Yet, 

>>she has absolutely gotten into a fight with some bro at a party about the musical and cultural importance of lemonade and also homecoming before and had to be frogmarched out of the building

>she disconnected from the world for three days straight when puberty 2 dropped and only resurfaced to yell about how annoyingly Good At Music mitski is*

>she, like, saw purity ring when they only had three songs and were playing a 75 person venue for one of their first shows and waxes nostalgic about it every time someone wants to talk about purity ring**

>she unabashedly loves pop music but also has to like explain to you why it’s GOOD music not just FUN music 

>also: 

>>she’s Personally Offended at the fact that grimes is great at music and terrible at being a person and will make sure that EVERYONE knows it

>also also:

>>adia victoria, lizzo, laura marling, sleater-kinney but she’s one of those people who got pissed when janet weiss left and wound up boycotting the last album***, janelle monae, graveyard club, san fermin, etc etc

>basically blake is me with music and i love her but also that is totally not a compliment and also i will not be accepting criticism at this time

yang :

>just listens to superbass on repeat all day every day

>>i kid

>>it’s actually just nicki minaj’s verse in monster

>>i’m kidding i’m kidding but also not really i regret nothing

>also: melodrama-era lorde,  charly bliss, muna, 1989-onwards taylor swift including a deep and unironic love of look at what you made me do, charli xcx, bleachers, electra heart-era marina

>but honestly mostly it’s just this constantly

*this is me

**this is also me, just not with purity ring.  i’m that asshole

*** this is not me, i love that album

[the-first-date]

A conversation with Ashley Pecorelli [25/F/Brooklyn]

Madge Maril: So, first things first, tell us a bit about yourself — hobbies, job, dog.

Ashley Pecorelli: Well! I am a queer mental health counselor-in-training (and hope to make mental health resources accessible to LGBTQ adolescents)! Besides REAL hobbies which I definitely have (?) I enjoy watching Property Brothers with my lil dog, Mitski, thinking about the Twilight saga at all times, and using The Sims to cathart. It is way harder than I thought it would be to write something about myself wow.

MM: Real Tinder bio hours.

AP: So my Tinder bio was most recently (I guess still is) a transcript of the ticket girl video, specifically when she says that she called the police station to see if she could serve jail time instead of paying the ticket. It says all you need to know about me.

MM: I'm going to find this video and hyperlink it. Did tinder work for you? I guess "work" being that you are now in love, as I gather.

AP: https://youtu.be/EujUx_82Bxs one step ahead of you. So I guess Tinder did "work" for me! Although honestly I never felt that it was overtly working against me because when I started using it in earnest, I really wasn't looking for something in particular.

MM: Ooo, I've never thought about tinder working against us. Though I definitely think it has for me before. 

AP: I started using it right after I got out of a long, damaging relationship, dated around a bit and had fun and didn't have fun and then found someone who is also With Her (Ticket Girl). How do you feel it worked against you? 

MM: Oh no, you're turning the table!

AP: Oops.

MM: Honestly, I can readily admit that I download tinder A. way too fast after a breakup and B. to get compliments from men. I just swipe and swipe and swipe.

AP: True, it's honestly the ultimate game. Total sensory overload in one sense but in another sense also total sensory deprivation.

MM: Oo yeah. For me it's complete escapism, and I only really responded to people who were treating it the same way. So no good. But — what inspired you to first start looking for something in particular? I.e. what do you think inspired you to really pursue finding someone?

AP: Honestly, I truly did download it way too fast after a breakup, like the same day hahaha. But I guess for me the breakup was more a final escape and the first time I felt any sort of emotional (and sexual, sadly) agency, so once I got out I wanted to start exploring that as quickly as possible. I really didn't know what I wanted until I started seeing people and seeing things I did like and things I didn't — but the truly WILD thing was, even when a person and I truly just were not a good fit, I saw what healthy romance and sex is SUPPOSED to look like and understood that I had previously had no idea what the bare minimum level of being treated like a human is. Which is pretty sad and dark! But was also really exciting, to get crushes or feel NO spark or make out with a woman in a bar or have someone listen to the album you recommended them.

So all of that, the good and the bad and the platonic and not platonic, was great, in retrospect. But then I met my current partner (lol) and realized that it could be way more than just the bare minimum, and could be something I really didn't think existed. Not just love (because somehow I've never doubted love's existence) but true understanding. 

MM: Damn. Thank you for sharing that. Let's talk about those interactions — the dates. The million dollar question: What do you wear on a first date?

AP: Hell yeah now the JUICY BITS. So on a first date, I typically try to look hot (obviously) but also somehow represent myself to the other person in almost an experimental way. Like I try to put on something I myself would feel really awesome in, and if for whatever reason that's not their idea of hot, fuck them! That's my whole mentality anyway. 

My favorite first date outfit has been my black vintage T-shirt with two dragons dueling over a castle, knotted up to show a bit of not abs-abs, high-waisted black jersey peg pants (that feel like pajamas), chunky black platform boots, and whatever big weird earrings I bought on my most recent whim. If they don't like the dragon shirt, they ain't shit.

MM: Black jersey peg pants? What are peg pants?

AP: It's actually these very particular pants from ASOS.

MM: WOW these are the pants of dreams.

AP: SO comfortable, SO flattering — basically have the look of something Audrey Hepburn would wear but way more accessible and comfy.

MM: The pockets! The high rise! The cropped cut! I get it. 

AP: SO GOOD right???

MM: Do you think you also factor in what the person you're going on a date with will find hot? Do you take into account their age, gender, all that? 

AP: Oh, totally. Honestly most especially with other women, but people of all genders for sure. I think when I go to pick something out I kind of picture what I know about them (however little) and what their sensibility might be when it comes to style and aesthetics and ~hotness~. I also think the more I have felt unsure about someone or the way things are going, the harder I try to almost make up for it.

MM: Completely agree. Dating women ups the ante.

AP: It totally does! And then I think about her and wonder if she's doing the same thing.

MM: Do you wear perfume or makeup on a first date, too? (Also yes... I mean if we're all thinking it then SHE has to be thinking it, too. Right?)

AP: Yes! I wear whatever my signature scent is — I say this because I always have one, but it evolves every so often. My favorite one for over a year now has been from & Other Stories. Makeup wise, I just try to look like what I would look like on the hotter end of the everyday spectrum. Basically meaning... the addition of foundation and multiple shades of eyeshadow. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, but I've become kind of obstinate in that only I am allowed to be mean and critical to me. I can be as mean to myself as I want but either you like what you see or you don't! (Please like me.) 

MM: And that's reflected in your makeup, you think? More so than the clothing? Drop the & Other Stories fragrance name!! 

AP: Okay so it was Fig Fiction, which was such an amazing beautiful warm awesome scent! They discontinued it though (the last time I found it I bought three bottles). Now I use Sicilian Sunrise, which is pretty similar! 

I think yes, more reflected in makeup. Simply because I am almost always going to dress in a way that makes me happy (if I've done laundry recently) but I'm not always going to put on makeup, so the makeup should just be closer to what you're gonna see all the time.

MM: Ok, so then the makeup is on. And the T-shirt and peg pants are on. Is it always the chunky black platform boots? Why? Because that's a constant power move IMO.

AP: The chunky black platform boots are truly ideal for many reasons: They're cute, they're sturdy, they subtly make me three inches taller (I need every inch), they'll hold up in rain or snow, and they'll allow me to do some damage to your face if you turn out to be a creep. And (drumroll) I got them on Poshmark for $10.

MM: No!! Do you know the brand?

AP: You're not gonna believe this but H&M. I do not shop at H&M for many reasons and would NEVER buy shoes from there but I took a shot on these because they were secondhand and they've held up impressively well. Almost everything I own was thrifted for financial and sustainability reasons, but these are truly a marvel.

MM: What does that word mean to you, specifically? Sustainability.

AP: Honestly I do not feel qualified to talk about sustainability at all! But to me, it's complicated. I grew up in a lower-class, financially insecure family while most of my friends were wealthy, so my family would either buy clothes secondhand or from a discount store. As a kid, this was really embarrassing to me to not have a closet full of Limited Too or Abercrombie, which obviously feels silly now. I'm still working class and financially insecure, so it's very difficult for me to buy from stores or brands that (at least claim) to ethically produce clothes because they're generally really, really expensive. That's the case for most of this country, including many people who are way worse off than I am. Thrifting is good for me because it allows me to get clothes when I need them at a low cost while also reducing environmental impact, but I don't think it's reasonable to make a judgement call on what any one person "should" be doing in the name of sustainability. Any one person can do whatever is comfortable to them, we can all try within our means! But at the end of the day, the real damage (and real opportunity for impact) is coming from big corporations and the government's actions. I don't think you can truly think about whatever sustainability means if you're getting mad at someone for shopping from a retail chain because it's all they can afford. Okay that was a lot and I have no idea where I was even going with that, sorry! I feel in many ways not educated enough to have feelings about this.

MM: Don't apologize! There's no set definition for the word, it's unique to all of us. And the Limited Too envy was real. 

AP: Omg especially when they had the matching outfits for you and your Build-A-Bear... I wanted it so badly. BIG topic.

MM: I can't believe it's been an hour!! I'll wrap this up so you can get back to your sorbet.

AP: Omg it has, wow!!

MM: Final q: Did your last first date go well?

AP: My last first date ended with plans to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special together. This year we're going to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special together in our new apartment. I'd say it went okay!

MM: AWW. On that exceedingly wholesome note — thank you for chatting!

AP: Of course! My pleasure! 

[portrayedby]

The Last Two Years and M*tski

Tw mitski

Tw lonely f*g ramblings

Tw #reflections

Okay first off idk how to make a read more on mobile...Second I need to VENT!!! So i have a lot of complicated feelings about mitski tbh like :

1. she’s sent my soul into an inescapable downward spiral of hellish proportions over the last two years but I digress...

2. She often mentions Kuala Lumpur in interviews and how she went to high school here for 3 years and it’s like i wanna feel a sense of kinship with her because we had our adolescences in the same place but at the same time I feel this intense misplaced sense of jealousy towards her because she had US citizenship all the while and got to move to New York to pursue her dreams and me and my third world ass literally could never...like we’re similar but wildly different, but also her songs feel like she’s speaking about me directly? idk I’ve always had “”white”” interests and couldn’t relate to my peers so listening to her talk and sing feels like a psychic attack on my soul and my brand LOL because her music deals heavily with topics like that

3. Puberty 2 like caught me completely off guard before I started med school. I had never even heard of her at that point in time, and I had just lost my grandfather (whom I’d been taking care of for 5 years and I feel like he was the only person who would be actually happy to see me)...and I was already going through a really bad mental health period in 2016 so his death made things in my life explode in a pretty terrible way. My mother was super super close to him but she was overseas at the time so she couldn’t bury him...and that made her have like this yearlong bout of religious grandiosity and she took all crazy out on me because I’m closest to her among my siblings. And i guess I didn’t realise how much it was to deal with at the time (God was like: i know you’re starting med school but you need to deal with your mom’s mental illness in addition to yours...also you’ll develop 50000 unrequited crushes on guys at the same time because you haven’t spoken to a man in a year you homo NEET...). Starting med school rly did feel like going through puberty all over again I wish there was a less corny way to say that but it DID okay

4. Listening to that album amidst all that emotional turmoil (which in retrospect I shouldn’t have done) made me realise that I never got to like have a real proper adolescence because I never got to come out properly on my own terms, or even have any kind of sexual or romantic experience with someone else for that matter because I’m just really terrified of all that. Also it’s illegal to be a faggot here so there’s that. And even now I’m kind of just flailing about/stalling with regards to my personal growth/career+academic path because I’m in the midst of an identity crisis because I’m realising that becoming a doctor would feel like crumpling my soul and stuffing it into a box (tho i guess that isn’t unique to medicine #fuckcapitalism right) and I desperately want to find a way to express myself musically/artistically because I used to in the past but I had to give it up to please my family... fuck REPRESSION!!!

5. In high school I literally put myself on hold and was pretending like every single day of my life (but also...who wasn’t) and that obviously burnt me tf out so by the time I graduated I didn’t who tf I was or what I wanted to do. From then till now I’ve felt like I’ve been in a fog blindly groping around desperately trying to find myself lol....It was only until like this year where I’ve started to feel almost sure of myself in my own small way, which is why I’m taking a gap year so I can really just deal i guess! I know it’s been like literally half a decade and I should be over this but I literally can’t LOL! So that album unearthed a lot of old feelings about my own experiences and my lifelong obsession with getting to grow up in the US which is a stupid dream but also I’m a stupid bitch so...

6. Kind of unrelated my sister who is basically a cis and less crazy version of me got married last year and moved to London to be a doctor and get her masters and it literally felt like I got my hands chopped off because a) I’m stuck here with my parents where I can’t be myself in many many ways b) I’m being forced to accept some random man into my life that I barely know!!! {how do other ppl deal when their siblings get married i have no clue}, and my younger brother who is a fellow f*g left soon after too so I’m double all alone now but again I digress...

7. Finally (!) Seeing miss miyawaki gain this crazy cuckoo gigantic level of acclaim and popularity is making me feel so strange because I’ve slowly and unwittingly integrated her music as part of my identity over the past 2 years but that’s my fault like who asked me to do all that!! Then again I guess a lot of ppl feel this way when something they like gets big wtv I’ll get over it I hope. Also I wonder what it’s like for her too tbh having random ppl like me live their whole life stories through her art...

Anyway idk why but I’ve never felt this way and this intensely for this long about an artist in my life and I’m lowkey starting to resent her in a weird complicated way and that’s really sad to me...Anyway #2 I like 1000% need to go to therapy and need to stop comparing myself to other people especially my idols + projecting my faggy problems onto them 😔❣️(and i really need to stop living in the past but it’s hard) Anyway #3 I wish I could transition too but I feel like I’m a very long way from that

[dame-mas-princesa]

BE THE COWBOY BY MITSKI

1.) GEYSER

“And hear the harmony only when it's harming me. it's not real, it's not real”

i really see this as a beginning to an album that covers the attachment towards a specific person. off this lyric it’s what you find in many toxic relationships. “no no they are a good person” they are hurting you but ‘it’s not real’ you want to focus on the harmony when it’s harming YOU. touch shit man.

2.) WHY DIDNT YOU STOP ME

“I look for a picture of you to keep in my pocket but I can't seem to find one where you look how i remember”

this part i kinda understand. you find yourself idealizing a person that you eventually forget who they really are. you have an image in your head over what they are but as in this lyric you can’t seem to find one that looks how you remember.

3.) OLD FRIEND

“I'll take coffee and talk about nothing, baby”

this songs is really hard to interpret. i see this as someone who ended a relationship but are still friends but now the relationship is tense. tense is not the right word it it’s that point where you would ‘take anything’ just to be around them. blue diner might’ve been that place where they had dates or such. it’s so conflicting but like?? cause the narrator is in a relationship with someone new and the other person mentioned (who they are singing about) is also with someone new BUTBUTBUT it seems these two still have a romantic connection/relationship. they haven’t told anyone like they had promised. brain hurt

4.) A PEARL

“But it's just that I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended”

this was my go to crying song for the LONGEST. that is mainly cause i relate to it an IMMENSE amount. it reminds me of my past relationship (hey if you are reading this don’t worry no major details or names) but the lyric “you’re growing tired of me and all the things i don’t talk about” communication was lacking when referring to our feelings. you grew tired of me and how i never told you how i felt. it was mutual, i grew tired of all the things you never talked about. the lyric above just describes how i felt for so many months. really this entire describes how i felt for months. when she says “i fell in love with a war” she is referring to her toxic relationship. she was obsessed with it and i’m her mind, it never ended. she continues with “there’s a hole that you fill” without you, there is a void. goes on with “and it left a pearl in my hand” which is like a memory the way i see it. i remember spending months thinking of those memories just to fill my heart with joy. this song just got me feeling too many things then my feelings ab this are no longer as vibrant.

5.) LONESOME LOVE

tumblr is spacing this out weird grr

“I call you, to see you again so I can win, and this can finally end”

this is a very short but what i get out of this is the self sabotage. To me when i do something that i KNOW will hurt me in the end, it really just makes me feel like a did something good. i’m a winner in someway. nobody fucks me like me.

6.) REMEMBER MY NAME

“Just how many stars will I need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?”

mitski, everyday you confuse me with meanings. good thing most lyrics can be interpreted in a way so that it makes sense to YOU (with respect for the original meaning)! the lyric above kinda reminds me of “how many things or how many people do i need around me to feel welcome” heaven is a place where you are supposed to feel loved, welcome, and happy. i’m leaning more towards the importance of possession because of the lyrics “i need something bigger than the sky. hold it in my arms and know it’s mine” i know i struggle with wanting to feel big and mighty when i know something big and bright (such as stars) is mine and mine ONLY. i want to feel IMPORTANT. holding stars could give off that feeling. also love the guitar in this

7.) ME AND MY HUSBAND

“...Will be gone, with my eyes with my body with me”

you KNOW this song is about being an immigrant. you move from a country where you grew up, where you have all your memories, and had all of your experiences. you come to a new one, you know no one. this is where the lyric “but when he walks in, i am loved” i promise you that when you stay in a place where you know absolutely no one, not even knowing how to act, when someone you know walk in you feel relieved. you feel seen and in this case you feel loved. it’s just you and your ‘husband’. i feel as if this moving situation can be both physical and metaphorical but i’m taking it as physical.

8.) COME INTO THE WATER

“But would you tell me if you want me? ‘Cause I can't move until you show me”

this is basically saying “can you tell me that you feel the same cause i don’t want to dive in without knowing” come with me, do you want to be with me? not too much i can say with this song.

9.) NOBODY

“And big and small again and still nobody wants me”

i think song is the definition of upbeat music with sad lyrics. i cannot find myself crying to this song cause all i want to do is dance. BUT THE BIG AND SMALL AND BIG AND SMALLL LYRICS GOT ME THINKING. i have been skinny and i haven’t, i have been happy and not, i have been friends with so many people and very few and STILL nobody wants me. in this instance i know mitski is referring to her weight which really gets me thinking. this songs revolves around the topic of just wanting to feel loved and important. the need of someone to care about YOUUUUU!! just to feel alright!!!!!!

10.) PINK IN THE NIGHT

“I hear my heart breaking tonight. Do you hear it too?”

you do you know how i feel? can you hear my heart breaking? this song is the bargaining part of grief. the constant thought of wanting to say i love you once again or to kiss you one more time. this is a very short song soooo

11.) A HORSE NAMED COLD AIR

“circled the same old sin”

takes a big brain to understand this poem, i don’t have it. the last part of this which reads “i thought i traveled a long way but i had circled the same old sin” really got me thinking of my own habits. during recovery i thought i had gotten so far, beaten so many of rules and fears, only to relapse over and over. i had circled the same old sin.

12.) WASHING MACHINE HEART

“Baby, though I've closed my eyes. I know who you pretend I am.”

once again with the reoccurring themes!! it’s the idealization of person to the point that they are no longer the same person. she goes on with “why not me?” the person who she is singing to seems to make up this version of her that ISNT her. she asks why isn’t the person i am not enough.

13.) BLUE LIGHT

“out there i’m a sharp knife. are you the blue light?”

the blue light is referring to the light that the moon emits at night. i feel like she is saying “i hurt others but you show me what i’m doing” i’m not even completely sure?? maybe it’s what makes the sharp knife beautiful? the blue light reflecting off of it?? i have no idea.

14.) TWO SLOW DANCERS

“To think that we could stay the same”

in my point of view, the reference to age can be in regards to the age of a relationship. just like people, relationships age. everything seems so easy at the beginning of a relationship. many think at the beginning that the relationship is going to last forever and feel the same. it doesn’t! you pass the honeymoon stage and things change. you realize who you’re with, who you planned to spend the rest of your life with. they aren’t the person you thought they were. that close intimacy (slow dancing) doesn’t last and wears out.

okay finished. i mean yeah thank you mitski for this wonderful art piece of an album

[juangallojongaro]

Best of 2018

Anna Birch – “Belle Isle” What starts as a slide-guitar-country-crooner transitions into a rockabilly bridge before settling back into sentiment. A heartbreakingly earnest and beautiful love song about moving to a new place and meeting a new person. I saw Birch open for Speedy Ortiz last summer, watched a young couple slow dance to the song, and started crying a little bit. After Birch sang the closing lyric, beginning with “we danced to that song/twice in a row,” she was exhorted by Speedy Ortiz lead singer Sadie Dupuis to play the song again. She didn’t; I wish she had.

Big Red Machine – “Melt” I was introduced to this song because it was the theme song to a podcast about the disastrous 1996 U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team (find that excellent pod here), and found the chanting rising “when you are who you are” sort of mesmerizing. The lyrics are obtuse (much like the entire project, a collab between Justin Vernon and one of the Dressners from the National where they dress like Mad Max Kanye [which, what the fuck]). It is a good time to hear Vernon scream “YOU KNOW IT’S A STRUGGLE, IT’S A KIND OF DEBACLE” like he’s Jim Ross calling a particularly exciting Attitude Era WWE match. A slobberknocker!

boygenius – “Me & My Dog” Politically, 2018 will go down as the Year of Woman as female candidates ran and won in historic numbers in the midterms. In a less historic achievement, it was the Year of the Woman in my best of list, where female fronted or involved projects carried 12 of 18 spots. 2018 was the year when the majority of the best rock records were made by women, and few put out better albums that the three headed monster supergroup, boygenius. “Me & My Dog” is the best track on their superlative self-titled LP. The first third starts with simple orchestration and Phoebe Bridgers’ voice followed by Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker swooning swelling harmonies until the song kicks into another gear in the middle before crescendoing higher and higher until the punchline and plaintive lyric “I wanna be emaciated.” The album version is great, but the live versions best capture the catharsis. boygenius is my favorite new band of the year.

Damien Jurado – “Percy Faith” Shouts to my dude Kit who made sure that I checked out this album, the first I’ve listened to from Mr. Jurado’s enormous discography. While I find the sheer size of that discography pretty intimidating, this song is approachable—a time traveling track about big band leaders, hostage situations, and being on your phone too much. Wry lyrics delivered with a straight face (see, “I am writing from Seattle/Where they now have put a trademark on the rain”) are the star of the show, but the soaring strings and noodling organ sustain multiple listens.

Father John Misty – “Date Night” It shambles, it Jaggers, it oozes confidence in both senses of the word. Ooze is correct, and I wouldn’t be shocked if FJM revealed the swirling synths were covered with cheap, greasy pomade. It’s the best song on great record that’s funny (“I’ll get you ice cream if you give me a card”) and propulsive enough to close a set. God’s Favorite Customer was a return to form after the solipsistic bloat of the second half of Pure Comedy. Here’s hoping he remains in poem zone going forward.

illuminati hotties – “(You’re Better) Than Ever” Too precious by half but catchy as hell, “(You’re Better) Than Ever” was the song that I listened to the most despite of my better judgment. It’s a straight forward rocker about an ex that’s doing better than you are. Problem is the song is delivered with a smile instead of a sneer, and the mean lyrics don’t match the sweet delivery. Still, the surf rock drums and harmonies are great. More importantly: illuminati hotties is the best new band name of the year.

Jeff Rosenstock – “Yr Throat” SEE BELOW

Lucy Dacus – “Night Shift” Without question, the SONG OF THE YEAR. One third of the boygenius titanic triumvirate, Dacus’s anthem starts in a diner with a two-timing ex and ends with a division of the city by time of day. Dacus knows that she isn’t necessarily being practical, but she’s emotionally unreasonable and raw. Quiet/loud that would leave Black Francis and Kim Deal taking notes, the last two minutes are sad and soaring, roaring and resigned.

Mitski – “Nobody” Mitski made the leap this year, basically the music business version of 2018 Brewers slugger Christian Yelich. Like Yelich, Mitski had flashed elite tools in prior years but never quite put it all together (somehow this is Mitski’s first official appearance on my list; honorable mention only in 2015). In 2018, things changed with the New York City songstress dropping Be the Cowboy, the audio equivalent of Yelich’s monstrous .326/.402/.598 (w/ 36 dingers and 22 bags!) 2018 line. Mitski took home album the year from a number of publications and Yelich was the National League MVP. “Nobody” is the basically Yelich’s mega-game from August 29 where he went 6 for 6 and hit for the cycle, helping the Brewers pull out a one run win over the Reds. A slinking disco home run, the song showed Mitski feels both seamless and like five different songs at once. Excellent delivery, danceable and delectable. I’m seeing her in April, right around Opening Day. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one leading the MVP chants.

Pusha T – “If You Know You Know” The best of Kanye’s bizarre 2018 productions (the less said about Mr. West at this point, the better), Push’s irresistible ode to (what else, literally what else?) having once dealt cocaine was so good it convinced me for about three weeks that Kanye was back. Also, apparently Pusha T beefed with Drake this year; I’m okay with that.

Robyn – “Ever Again” SEE BELOW

Shannon Shaw – “Freddies ‘n’ Teddies” A brassy wall of sound missive from Shaw, a big voiced Californian who, I just discovered, fronts an outfit called “Shannon and the Clams,” who also released an album in 2018. I’m concerned I should have picked a song by “Shannon and the Clams.” Alas, we’re not starting the new year with regret. “Freddies ‘n’ Teddies” is an excellent throwback jam. It’s a pearl.

Speedy Ortiz – “Lucky 88” Had a weird experience at the Speedy Ortiz show last summer—they went on at like 10:30 PM and played, like, my six favorite Speedy Ortiz songs in a row. At that point, I’d rode my bike to the show and realized a couple things: 1) it was a work night, and 2) I really didn’t want to hear any more of the songs. So, I left! Never done that before. Anyway, goes without saying that “Lucky 88” was one those songs. It’s very good of Speedy Ortiz to keep making Rilo Kiley records because I like Rilo Kiley! Tackling subject of gross dudes with interesting percussion and evocative and tongue-twisty lyrics lyrics (See, “Try and work in this town/without a silver spoon and foot in your mouth” and “One more time with reeling” and “I was born in the cold-clotted heart of the storm”) it’s a stand out track on a good record.

St. Vincent – “Fast Slow Disco” Technically a remix of the “Slow Disco” off of 2017 Album of the Year, MASSEDUCTION, the new version improves on the original in every way. On Twitter, Annie Clark wrote that she “always felt this song could wear many different outfits and live many different lives. here she is in disco pants, sweating on a new york dance floor.” Sweat and live it does, transformed from the original prayer to a fucking Pet Shop Boys song. It’s a banger, and continued proof that Clark is one of the best pop artists working.

Swearin’ – “Grow into a Ghost” There’s some Fleetwood Mac-y shenanigans going on with this band—basically, the two lead singers were dating and then broke up but then made this record. I don’t know; it’s not my business. This song is my business. With Allison Crutchfield leading the way with an excellent read on the lyrics, this pop punk potato chip isn’t particularly substance, but it is really good, crunchy, and with the right amount of salt.

Tranyanne and Danny – “O’Keeffe” There’s a swaying simplicity, putting you in mind of the Ben Folds Five at their most daydreamy with a dash of Broadway panache. Ostensibly about titular painter, it’s a duet that’s good for a slow dance with a dip or two.

U.S. Girls – “Incidental Boogie” You like art rock? U.S. Girls love art rock! It’s a feminist statement piece about (I think, I’m ready to be really wrong here) about domestic violence, BDSM, and empowerment that puts you in mind of The Knife’s masterpiece Silent Shout and maybe The Phantom Thread. It’s all over the place and I’m too thick to figure it out.

Young Gun Silver Fox – “Lenny” This 70’s cheese rock throwback is delicious trash. Essentially, it’s “One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)” if, 1981, someone commissioned Daryl Hall and Michael McDonald to write a yacht rock musical based on Frank Sinatra songs. I’m not saying this song is frozen pizza rolls—I’m saying it’s gourmet frozen pizza rolls that are filled with the finest heirloom tomato sauce, cured salumis, and aged cheeses. It’s stupid and it’s bad for you and I will eat a million of them.  

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR: Honey by Robyn and POST- by Jeff Rosenstock.

These are two very different albums. The lyrics are in English and no one, like, throat sings, but Rosenstock’s raw, claustrophobic punk and Robyn’s luscious electropop seem antithetical. Taken together, the two help me best explain what was like for me to be alive in 2018.

Dropped on New Year’s Day, POST- begins screaming, “Dumbfounded, downtrodden and dejected/Crestfallen, grief-stricken and exhausted/Trapped in my room while the house was burnin'/To the motherfuckin' ground.” Rosenstock captures just how fucking stressful it is to be living through the Trump Administration. The grift, the humanitarian horror, the callous and smirking racism, the grinding and clobbering indecency. He captures the paralysis and that feeling that it won’t get better, he won’t go way; “it’s not like any other job I know/If you’re a piece of shit they don’t let you go.”

There were so many times this year when I was struggling with something personal—anxiety, the stresses of my job, feeling mean or irritable and it would feel worse because President Diaper-Butt said something repugnant. The political stress and the personal stress fed each other.

On “Powerlessness”, Rosenstock sings “[s]o where can you go when the troubles inside you/Make your limbs feel like they're covered in lead?/How can you solve all the problems around you/When you can't even solve the ones in your head?” I struggled with this all year and basically defaulted to paralysis. Rostenstock put words to that ennui.

Rosenstock sang about feeling bad—Robyn sang about getting better. Her record starts in a similar place of psychic pain. It’s more mundane, a break up, but Robyn blows the heartbreak out into pop hits. On “Missing U,” she’s just as vulnerable and paralyzed as Rosenstock, “[c]an't make sense of all of the pieces/Of my own delusions/Can't take all these memories/Don't know how to use them.”

Over the course of the record, Robyn gets better. In interviews, she explained that she took the time to go through a couple years of psychotherapy (this is privilege; we all can’t take years off from work to sort out our shit—I can’t, Rosenstock certainly can’t) and emerges better—fully realized and in charge of herself. The two centerpieces of the second half of the album, the titular “Honey” and the finale, “Ever Again” are physical and optimistic. She put the work in and got better.

I tried to get better in 2019, as well. It was a mixed bag—lost a bunch of weight, gained it back. Bought a house and was driven half-crazy by the process. Got a promotion, lost some hard cases. But I really improved my mental health. I worked hard on being mindful and trying to feel better. I didn’t get all the way (unlike Roybn, I don’t feel like “I’m never gonna be brokenhearted ever again”), but I feel better than I did a year ago.

There’s going to be at least more years of the political degradation. I can’t control that. But both albums end on hopeful notes, expecting that things will get better. I don’t know if they will. But the emotion and message of these albums, make them the best of 2018.