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spokelseskladden · 6 months

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Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to ask if you still have ideas about the Time Travel AU (the CK one) cause I've been a little obsessed with it (I really love you art ♥️)

Omg CK time travel AU... I'm so happy people still like it, I haven't thought about it in so long :') sadly I don't have any new art of it, but I can add a few notes

The whole idea was always about Miguel and Robby from the end of season 4 waking up around the start of season 2. Neither one knows the other is in the same boat, and it creates some problems as both try to change events in their own ways, thus making different situations harder to predict. They also go about it the wrong way until they get Demetri on board, like they focus on the wrong things to solve the problems.

I was always imagining Miguel waking up on the day he gets his braces removed, because everything will suck for him for a while but at least he'll get to experience that twice ( my people who wore braces will know what I'm talking about)✌️✌️

Before Robby and Miguel figure out they're time travelling buds they try to sabotage each others non-existent relationships. This makes Sam think Miguel still is a jealous douchebag, Tory thinks Robby is...weird. basically, those relationships are soooo dead. I like Robby/Tory (controversial, I know) but it would be complicated. There's a chance for them being endgame, but I'm on the fence about it, cause the point of this AU was more about friendships, especially for Robby.

This one drawing I made where Robby and Miguel sort of talk about juvie/the paralysis was supposed to take place after this big fight they had. Because they're not friendly towards eachother after finding out they're both from the future. They're forced together due to the circumstances, but there's a lot of tension between them that culminates into this big fight where they nearly repeat the event they're trying to avoid. It shakes them to their core, and they realise they don't want this -> they try to talk about it and figure out that they have more in common than they thought.

This was supposed to be the turning point in the au. Pre them making up, everything just went from bad to worse, every situation they tried to fix ended with something else going straight to hell, but once they become friends? Everything suddenly seems to go smoothly. Until it doesn't. (enter fucking Hawk and the feelings they didn't take into account. Because they were all clueless about it.)

Hawk is in love with Miguel. This is true in all universes, I take no criticism on this lol. The AU was never supposed to be migueli centric, but it makes him extra jealous of Robby. Like, if the guy you like suddenly start sneaking around with someone you both used to talk shit about, keeping secrets, blowing off a potential girlfriend for this person, and now they suddenly seems to get along a bit too well? Yeah he thinks they have something going on. Which sucks for him, cause it's one thing if Miguel can't like him back because he's straight, if he's actually into guys as well? Ouch. It's a total misreading of the situation, but Hawk isn't going to jump to time travelling buddies as the first answer :/ There's a lot of hurt feelings here, and his go to coping mechanism is ofc anger and overreactions. Miguel is so used to Hawk listening to him (especially in his champ era) he didn't ever count on him doing the exact opposite in order to spite him. Cause he kinda...took Hawk for granted I guess 😔

While I made a joke about Hawk hitting on Tory (because she never got with Miguel there's nothing stopping him from doing that) I never planned on them getting together. They would go on one date maximum, Tory would realise they're way better as friends because they would've had a toxic fucking dynamic, and break it off. Which also makes Hawk spiral, but this ain't about him. Tory hangs with Aisha more because she's not with Miguel, and they have their own theories on what's going on with Miguel (and hawk tbh). I think they're the ones who accidentally starts this whole "Miguel and Robby might be...👀👀👀👀" Thing. They also realise what Hawk's deal is.

Sam v. Tory is waaaay more focused on Aisha, as it always should've been imo. I don't think their rivalry gets as bloody, and I think all three can learn some important lessons way faster. Also Aisha never disappears, because there's no school fight.

The adults are the biggest challenge, because neither Miguel nor Robby knows what the hell they were up to most of the time, and they're the ones who creates the mess. Miguel is from the end of s4, so from his perspective his relationship with Johnny is strained, while Johnny has no clue why their dynamic feels so off now(when he finds out Miguel and Robby are friends now, he assumes it's because of his shit relationship with Robby. Which isn't far off from the truth, once Miguel and Robby start talking they actually bond quite a bit over failed fathers/father figures which in turn puts even more strain on the Johnny-Miguel dynamic)

Originally I was considering Miguel being in a similar accident in the end, but under different circumstances. I'm not sure if it would work, but there's something about doomed narratives that compels me.

At least one character will be disappointed in Robby and Miguel for not even trying to win the lottery once they find out they're from the future. Robby and Miguel say they were a bit preoccupied with stopping the karate-gang-wars. Idk which character this should be but let's be real, it's Bert.

#asks #ck #time travel au #migueli #<- that's a tag i didn't expect to use today but it's not unwelcome :') i miss them!!!#this was so much fun #maybe I should do stuff with this au again!!!

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seijorhi · 4 years

Text

asks :)

Below the cut 💕

OMFG I JUST READ UR SPLIT FIC AND AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD. Ur such a good writer I’m jealous

BBY!!! I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!! but fr no need to be jealous it’s just some horny ramblings 👉👈

I just wanted to say that I LOVE your haikyuu fics! Especially the Oikawa/Iwa soulmate au one! Just a quick question tho, would their darling be able to turn the duo against eachother? Like maybe she/he/they prefers Iwa more than Oikawa and that could lead to some competition?

ok i’ve talked about this a little bit before in another ask but my tags are a mess and i can’t find it but tbh i think it would be almost impossible for their darling to actually turn them against each other - even in a tiny way just because their own relationship with each other is rock solid. Iwa knows how to deal with Oikawa at his worst and vice versa. if you do end up showing preference to one over the other - say you cling to Iwa because he doesn’t go as hard on his punishments or Oikawa because a pissed off Iwa scares you they’re gonna notice, and there is nothing like a little exposure therapy to cure your fears.

Inquiring minds need to know: does the slasher trio fuck you in front of their victims? When they’re alive? When they’re dead? Both???

Bruh.... I think you know the answer to that ;)

I just read Final Girl and I just wanna say that it scared the shit out of me??? I rarely watch horror let alone slasher movies and most of the time I imagine what would happen if they keep one of their victims and your fic just damn. It was scary good

you have no idea how happy that makes me?? because like when i write fics i’m trying to convey emotions and build tension and stuff but until somebody else reads it you never know if it’s actually worked?? so this makes me all 🥺

Yo I just read your Shiggy fic the chikan and boy oh boy I am a huge fan of it. He’s so gross but it does something to me and I don’t know why but I’m here for it. Also I love your writing I may or may not have just binged your blog but it was so good and I just could not help myself 😅, anyway I hope you have a good day!

SHIGGY SUPREMACY!! no but i took so long with that fic and now i just wanna write a bunch more creeper shigaraki i love him sm! anyway thank you fo being such a sweetheart - i hope your day’s going well too!!

Idk if it's thirsting hours, but I'm a horny bastard, so I'm just gonna express myself. Every time, I watch Ushijima show emotion and get excited about volleyball, I think about Outrunning Fate and daydream about the kind of face he would make while he rails a resistant, crying reader. And I feel like Tendou would just watch his facial expressions for a while because this is a side of Ushi he's never seen, and he just wants to admire him. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. @ks350

so it’s not exactly a secret that Ushi’s a little... stoic, but with things he genuinely cares about - volleyball, and you guessed it, his adorable little resistant soulmate - that’s when he lets himself soften a touch, smiling easier, seemingly without even realising it. He tends to get a little carried away when he’s fucking her because he’s honestly just so fucking content, this is exactly where he’s supposed to be and nothing else matters, not even your pretty tears and soft whimpers for him to stop. Of course Tendou’s gonna watch!

Okayyyy so I just read Split and, as always, your writing is superbbbb. Osamu acting like he was innocent in the whole situation? Atsumu being the sadistic little shit that he is? 💯 My brain is just full of thoughts of the Miya Brothers that I decided to read their Soulmate AU this early in the morning and I noticed how the party was set in the new captain's house.

And OMG as third years Atsumu's the new captain of Inarizaki and holy fuck there's a huge possibility the reader, their soulmate, just lost her V card in either of the twin's room or bed. Wouldn't that situation be a cluster fuck that drove them both crazy to do those things at the end after denying reader? Goshhhh I love this little subtle details in your fic. You are such a genius writer that endless possibilities are available to be interpreted by us readers. Thank you so much Rhi 💖💖💖 @pamdamonyum

👀 sqirugpq3urnioklnjk you’re a sweetheart

but can you imagine if it was Atsumu’s bed and he was the one to find you and the soccer captain? because like i genuinely debated about having them kick his ass and i think in that circumstance... not even Samu would be able to hold him back!

❤️❤️😍😘💕✌️

I love you too, you funky little anon

Ok omg split was amazing! I have to share smth tho when my bro and I were kids (like pretty young), when one of us did something “bad” we’d be like “no that wasn’t me it wasn’t me it was my evil twin,” and like then we’d forgive the other and shit talk abt our “evil” versions bc it wasn’t the “good” twin’s fault lol. So the “Osamu you promised!” “Osamu isn’t here rn,” had me dying. Like so perfect. What bs. Then the end with Osamu “I couldn’t stop him” miya like oh yeah ofc just your evil twin nothing you could have done 🙄 like it was so perfect, I loved it!

aw that’s actually really cute tho! i honest to god think that Osamu’s worse in this one - at least Atsumu never pretends to be anything other than what he is. Osamu’s just as toxic and warped, but he acts like the hero, like it wasn’t his obsession that started this all

So, I just read the Dear Old Friend Osamu drabble and I couldn't help but grin. The implications I got from it and the initial one-shot were the following;

1. Atsumu is a titties man, considering how much he bit and teased them in DOF.

2. 'Samu I don't have a favourite twin how dare you is an ass man considering how many words of that drabble were dedicated to his thoughts lingering on the titular dear old friend's arse.

And I'm just LIVING for it because they really do complete each other in that regard. But also because 'Samu strikes me as the kind of guy that likes face sitting and spanking his partner while they sandwich his face between their thighs. And Atsumu strikes me as the kind of person that likes just randomly fiddling with his partner's tiddies because tiddy = fun.

Also, hi! I love your writing! Pretty sure this is my first ask, even though it's not, really??? @pavlovs-titties

ahh you’re so sweet, thank you bby!!

and yeah, Atsumu’s definitely a tiddies kinda guy and Osamu prefers ur butt (but also not me writing that little drabble because i wanted to tease the idea Osamu have his turn leaving his mark on the reader by spanking her till she’s nice and sore 😉)

Baby, you were amazing ❤️! I don't know how I still get surprised by your awesomeness, but I do. You're amazing and no one can tell you different 🥺🥰

💖💖💖 sdfghjhgj you’ve got me all blushy and soft, thank you!!!

the jokes on you tho because in actual fact you’re the one who’s amazing?? ily!!

#BD answers

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bibibuckleyy · 4 years

Text

‘Pinned’ liveblog

there are def spoilers ahead so don’t read if you haven’t seen the episode yet! also this is definitely not gonna make sense if you haven’t seen the episode and it’s very long so i’m sorry in advance

i wanna go to this bowling alley

i agree garett is a damn treasure look at that boi

he’s totally boyfriend manager material

yes buck you are a genuis

“technically it would be an exoskeleton”

LET HIM ENJOY THE WIN

“NO REFUNDS”

ayeeee my son garett gettin his coin go be manager 👏🏽

“JESSE, YOU’RE FIRED” LMAOOOOOO

so apparently green tea fights brain tumors

so let me tall y’all bout my good friend MICHAEL

he’s got a brain tumor and he is scarin the shit out the whole fandom

and hey instead of gettin the SURGERY

THIS BITCH IS GOIN CAMPING

i don’t think he understands that he cannot fucking die

athena and may are literally me

they both like ‘wtf why is he goin camping he has a damn brain tumor’

and the fandom like ‘bitch same T-T’

no pressure bobby but MICHAEL’S LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS

michael bby i don’t know why your doctor cleared you for this

like ‘hey, you have a life-threatening tumor but whatev’s YOLO lmao go camping dude hopefully you don’t progressively get worse while you are there lol lol’

spoiler alert: he gets worse

me and his doc bout to throw hands

if athena and may don’t get him first

“assuming there is a next year”

well f u c k.

that’s a 2020 mood tho fr fr

athena pls knock some sense into michael you have my blessing girlie

congrats may on gettin into USC!

*casually googles USC*

WOW ALBERT

i dunno what i expected

but it was not...that

throw the whole room away chim

”technically he doesn’t even have a room” DAMN CHIM THE SHADE

things just ‘ignited’ huh?

well that was awkward

EXCUSE YOU ALBERT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WE DO NOT QUESTION MADNEY

“she’s a good friend to you” with that little sip after DAMN ALBERT I CACKLED

Chim bby you look exhausted lmao

omg wAIT I LOVE THE TREE PLANTING TRADITION

IT’S SO NOBLE

“Plant it, let it grow, and stay out if it’s way!”

i love that they are including bobby in this

michael? michael what’s wrong with your hands buddy

THAT’S IT THIS TRIP IS CANCELLED SIRI TAKE US TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL

“ah, the dreaded c-word”

hi hello yes i only accept relationship advice if it comes from hen or athena

awkward shoulder laugh?? ok buddie eddie

“tommorow isn’t promised to anyone, so if you love her, tell her”

*still doesn’t tell buck how he feels*

i love athena and may’s bond

it’s real like yea they have problems and disagreements but theye still love eachother

i like that they don’t agree all the time about everything

“we still have time” UH YEA BITCH WE BETTER

michael you are hi key scaring me now

stop stop stop you guys need to go to the hospital

bobby and harry are the duo we didn’t know we needed

ok listen

i really hated this emergency

like just do your dishes bitch

your house is already remodeled

i mean like it was still a good rescue

but i was kind of an eyeroll

he really shot himself with a nail gun

bruh

“i didn’t say i love you back to my daughter”

aii so he’s not as thick headed as i thought

wowzers that’s a lot of blood comign out of his chest

i literally chose the worst moment to make food

i‘m seasoned 9-1-1 vet tho so i’m used to it lmao

EDDIE WAIT ARE YOU ASKING BUCK OUT

WAIT IT WAS SO CASUAL THO

IT’S LIKE

THEY DO THIS OFTEN

ANA FLORES WHO

(ok ok i like Ms. Flores but i am a buddie stan first and foremost)

wow i didn’t expect that when they opened the back of the ambulance

lord have mercy this dudes blood is everywhere

me too buck, me too

i mean like i would lose my appetite but like,,, this popcorn is good yo

“where are you going?”

“to ask your sister out on a date so i can tell her i love her”

YES CHIM GO GET HER

*chants* MANDEY! MADNEY! MADNEY!

uh oh michael and bobby are bout to fiiight

“i’m fine”

“no michael, you’re not, and i think it’s time we all started admitting that”

FUCKING THANK YOU BOBBY

IT’S NOT ALL OK DAMNIT

“you think you are hiding it but he sees it”

YEA SO DO WE AND I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY I DON’T LIKE IT

“to learn!”

“to learn what?”

“how to be a family when i’m gone”

.........

i hate everyone

my heart didn’t deserve to break like that

JOSHHHHHHH

HI BBY

there are still bruises on his face :(

i’m still mad about his date

FUCK YOU GREG

maddie dear chimney is not breaking up with you lmao

poor josh bro sunshine bby didn’t deserve it

i love athena and hen’s dynamic like just GOALS

“this thing with michael is looming over us constantly”

truer words have never been spoken

i want to go to a revolving restaurant

it looked so cool

this is gonna sound weird byut maddie not saying i love you was just even better than her saying it back

she expressed it in her own way

(still fuck you doug)

“i love you maddie, and as long as i know you feel the same, i can say it enough for the both of us”

WHAT DID THIS WORLD DO TO DESERVE THIS MAN

WHOLESOME SO DAMN WGOLESOME

oh hey this dude is gonna propose

foreshadowing??

this dude really dropped the box

lmao why he look so nervous

i thought when she grabbed the box her hand was gonna get caught in the revolver thing

“the answer is-”

MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR

OH MY GOD

FUCKING EARRINGS

LORD NOOOOOOOOOO LMAOOOOOO

the way maddie went “oh boy” honestly same here we go

“five years together and you bring me up here for earrings?”

“it’s your birthday”

“yea, next week”

The dude that turned around right after he said that was me

like i just,,,,

fucking earrings AHAHAHAAAAAAAA

homegirl really chose the worst moment to stand up

i take it back i don’t want to go to one of those restaurants

wowwwww madney really being a dynamic duo in a crisis

and i am here for it!

they saved homegirl’s life

AND GOT A FREE HOTEL ROOM FOR ITTTTTT

I LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE MICHAEL ANGST

two bros, chillin by the camp fire, and i’m freakin out cause one of them’s gonna die

“i wanna see him grow up, and i don’t know if i will”

9-1-1 writers turn on your location i just wanna talk-

“i need you to keep me and my father alive for him”

thanks i hate it

candlelit breakfast is then new thing pass it on

“took maddie out to talk and things...ignited”

CHIMNEY YOU SMUG BASTARD

“hey handsome”

*points* there! there’s the exact moment my heart stopped

HELL NAH GET THIS DUDE AWAY FROM JOSH IMMEDEATLY

rest in power to josh’s mug

OH SHIT

HE HAS A GUN

HE HAS A FUCKIN GUN

“i love you howie”

.....

bitch i didn’t order this take it back

no no no no nO NOOOOOOOOOOO

so i honestly forgot abou the whoe ‘hostage situation thing’

I WASN’T EXPECTING THIS

CAN JOSH GET A DAMN BREAK PLEASE

josh looks so scared awwwww NOOOOOO

“do not move, or you will be shot”

bitch nO

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

somebody call buck he’ll know what to do

so.... this has been my “Pinned” liveblog! i’m sorry it was super long and there was like no capitalization anywhere lmao. i actually enjoyed this so hit up my askbox if you want me to liveblog another episode!

#911 fox #madney #buddie #i am freakin out #hopefully ths doesn't FLOP #chimney han #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson

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eternalnight8806-3 · 5 years

Text

Ch 3 The Cat and the Fox

Category: Romance, Modern College AU

Rating: Will be Explicit but for now I’ll just say Mature for language and drinking

Pairing: InuKag

Words: 2,357

Also available on ff.net and AO3

Tag list: @keichanz @noviceotakus-blog @hinezumi @morikothehalfangel @cstorm86 @digital-art-monster @cammysansstuff

Enjoy!

Hey, I have a kind of personal question for you

InuYasha rubbed his tired eyes and stretched. He had been staring at his laptop for the last 3 hours straight trying to finish this damn midterm paper. The sound of his phone buzzing caught his attention. Who the hell would be texting him at 2 a.m.? Miroku was downstairs with the other idiots watching some stupid Netflix show he never could get into about a women's prison. The goofy grin that spread across his face upon seeing her name was completely accidental, or so he would tell you.

Shoot

What happened to your mom? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I was just sitting here thinking about it and I realized you never told me how she died. But it's totally fine if you don't want to tell me. I swear.

InuYasha almost laughed out loud at her obvious text babbling. It's cool. She had breast cancer.

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. It must have been so hard to lose her that way.

Honestly, it wasn't long after her diagnosis. She was already stage 4 by the time they caught it. They tried everything they could but a month later she was gone. It was hard. Still is. I miss her a lot. She was my rock

Yeah. I don't know what I would do without my mom. She's the kindest woman ever. She's always supported me in everything. You never mentioned your dad though?

He died when I was a baby. I never knew him.

Wow.

Yeah. Hey what are you doing up anyway? I thought you had to work this weekend?

I do. Couldn't sleep. My brain just won't shut off.

Missed me that much in 24 hours?

You're incorrigible

Always

You don't have a humble bone in your body do you?

Maybe one

* eyeroll emoji *

What time do you have to be up?

In exactly 2.5 hours. I have to catch the 5:45 train to get there on time.

Jesus woman! Go to sleep!

I already told you I can't

Do I need to come over and sing you a lullaby?

InuYasha regretted that the instant he hit send. She would definitely think he was total creepy bastard now.

Lol. You don't know where I live

He hesitated before typing again. Fine. I'll call you. I hope you like shitty renditions of twinkle twinkle little star.

* a series of crying laughing emojis *

Can't be worse than my little brother trying to sing to our cat Buyo.

You have a brother?

Yep

Me too. Well a ½ brother. Older. And an asshole.

Oh yeah? Ever talk to him?

Not really. Like I said he's an asshole.

Got it. Foxy doesn't like his big bro

InuYasha's eyebrow quirked. Foxy?

Ummm... yeah???

What is that?

Ummmm

Your name?

Is it now wench? ;)

Ha. Ha.

Hey, what do you call me?

Catwoman

I suppose that makes sense.

Why do you call me Foxy? ;)

Because of your costume

Suuuuuuure

You're obviously delusional

Am I?

Severely.

Well you're the one talking to me at 2:45 in the morning

Yeah. I know. I need a padded room next to yours

So I can sing twinkle twinkle for you?

OMG stop! I'm going to wake up my room mate!

Sorry...

You really should get some sleep wench.

I know.

Night Foxy

Night wench

InuYasha couldn't sleep after that. He felt guilty for keeping her up, even though she had texted him first. Inane images scrolled past his eyes as he delved into the internet black hole, searching for something to occupy his mind. Finally, when he realized it was about 5 minutes past the time she said she had to be awake, he decided to make sure she had gotten up ok.

Wakey wakey wench

Kagome groaned aloud at the sound of her alarm. She tried to roll over and go back to sleep but then her phone dinged.

Don't wanna

C'mon. You gotta. That job you love so much is beckoning

Damn you

You're cranky in the morning ain't ya?

Only for people who won't let me sleep

But you have to go babysit brats

Uggggh. Fine. I'm up. Happy?

Are you actually up? Like out of bed?

Kagome put her feet on the floor next her bed. Yes...

Don't believe you

She sent him a picture of her feet on the floor.

Sexy

Shut up jerk

Get ready for work wench

I would if someone would quit distracting me

I'm distracting huh? ;)

You're maddening

Only for you wench

I'm getting dressed now

I'll be right over

Ha. Ha.

Again, I remind you, you don't know where I live

I'll sniff it out

Very funny

Seriously, I'm up and getting dressed now

Go back to sleep

She pulled off her nightclothes and tossed them in the direction of her hamper as she made her way over to the closet. Pulling out a sweater and jeans, she made her way back over to the bed where she'd laid her phone.

Never did

What? Why?

Just distracted

Kagome wasn't sure what to make of that, so she decided to ignore it as she pulled the jeans up over her hips. Then go to sleep. Weirdo.

Only after I know you get to work ok

You're nuts. I won't get there for another hour!

So?

Go to sleep.

Nope. Gotta know you're safe.

The sweater made it's way over her head and down to her waist. Overprotective much? She grabbed her hairbrush and set to work on her tangled mane.

Only of cheeky wenches

Oh now I'm cheeky? The hairbrush returned to her nightstand.

Yep

Kagome picked up her purse and keys before quietly exiting her room. I'm leaving now. Go to sleep

I told you, not til you're at work

Kagome didn't respond during her 20 minute walk to the subway station. She hoped he would fall asleep waiting for her to text back. No such luck.

Oi wench! Where'd you go?

To the train

Hahaha

Cheeky wench

You on the train?

I am now.

Good. How long of a ride is it?

20ish minutes

What do you normally do on the train at too damn early o'clock?

Lol. Well, listen to music, or read. Sometimes I people watch but there aren't too many people on the train this early on Sunday.

People watch?

Yeah. People will do the weirdest things when they think no one is watching them. I've seen people practically doing it right in front of me before

Doing what exactly? ;)

Shut up

Never wench

You make it too easy

Do I now?

Yep.

Will you just go to sleep?

You at work?

Then I'm gonna go with no

How did I see that coming?

Idk maybe because I've said it like 1000 times already

Alright alright I get it.

' Now approaching 10 th street station' came the automated voice over the loudspeaker. Kagome stood and slid her phone into her pocket to keep it from falling out of her hand as she exited the train. Since the station was nearly deserted it was easy for her to maneuver her way out to the street to make the short walk to work. Once outside, she saw that the sun was now fully on the horizon, creating beautiful hues of pink and orange. Stopping for a moment, she smiled and took it all in. The crisp autumn air whipped her raven locks around her shoulders. Seeing the sun between the trees, Kagome couldn't resist the urge to snap a photo with her phone and send it to her new self-proclaimed watchdog.

Isn't it so beautiful Foxy?

Just like you wench ;)

Kagome snorted as she walked and texted at the same time. You don't know what I look like

Sure I do. Long black silky hair, eyes the color of dark chocolate, ivory skin. See? I know

Still, you've not seen my face

Don't have to

She didn't know how to respond to that. Lucky for her though, she rounded the last corner before coming up to Yoro North's front door. She took a picture of her hand opening said door and sent it to him.

All safe. Please sleep now? I'd feel awful if you didn't get any sleep because of me

Not your fault wench. I'm a big boy. But I promise I'll close my eyes now. Have a good day at work.

Thanks Foxy. Sweet dreams!

Kagome tucked her phone back into her pocket as she walked right past Ayame's death glare without giving the girl a second glance. As she stepped around the corner to make her way back to the classroom, she found herself cemented smack dab into Koga's chest.

“Whoa there, sweetheart!” He said as he grabbed her shoulders and gently pulled her back. “You alright?” He asked, genuine concern in his voice.

Kagome shook her head to clear the fog from having the wind knocked from her slightly. Looking up into his sky blue eyes, she didn't miss the smirk that crossed his features at her antics. “I-I'm fine, Koga. Thanks. Hey, actually there was something I wanted to run by you if you've got a minute?”

“Sure thing, darling. Step into my office?”

Kagome had noticed his use of several terms of endearment in the last few days, but she didn't mind it so she didn't say anything to her new boss about it. Instead, she walked into his office and sat herself down without being prompted. Koga came around her to sit himself on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms lazily and smiling down at her.

“What can I do for ya, love?”

“Well, I've noticed that we don't ever take the kids anywhere outside of this building and its grounds. Is there a reason for that?”

Koga's face took a decidedly less happy appearance. “Kagome, this building is all that stands between these kids and the outside world. Humans aren't exactly welcoming to our kind, with the exception of the rare person such as yourself. We don't take the kids anywhere for their own protection but also for yours. You've seen how they can be with eachother. Imagine if they did that to a human? The backlash would be catastrophic.”

Kagome frowned. “So, they never get to leave here? Ever?”

“We occasionally take them to other facilities to interact with other children, but for the most part, yeah, they stay here.”

“And it's absolutely out of the question to take them to say a park?”

Koga's eyebrow quirked up in interest. “A park? Kagome, we have outside areas here for them.”

“I know that, Koga, but they should interact with other kids. Even human ones. I think it'll be good for them to socialize outside of their comfort zones. Some of them desperately need it. Besides, imagine if you were on the front lines of demon-human coexistence?”

Koga sighed deeply. “Kagome, I wish things were different but they're just not. I can't allow you to put the kids or yourself in that kind of danger. I'm sorry.”

The look of supreme disappointment that crossed her features nearly caused the wolf to cave. “If you say so, Koga. I'll go relieve Ginta and Hakkaku now.” She stood and exited his office with slightly slumped shoulders. She had been so sure she could convince him to let her take the kids out for a little while. Sighing, she decided she would just have to keep working him down until he agreed. Eventually, he would see her reasoning.

xxx

The next two weeks almost flew by for both InuYasha and Kagome. Even in the midst of studying for their impending final exams in a couple weeks, the pair never let a night pass without talking. It became part of both of their routines. They both looked forward to hearing from the other. Something that both of their respective room mates had not failed to notice.

“InuYasha, are you ever actually going to meet this girl?” Miroku asked his hanyou friend one Saturday afternoon.

“I have, jackass.”

Rolling his eyes, Miroku huffed. “You know what I mean. Sango and I have actually been on actual dates and you know, know eachother's names.”

“Bully for you. Now fuck off.” InuYasha practically yelled as he tried to stick his headphones on his ears.

Sighing, he took his friend's obvious hint and went downstairs to meet Sango. Upon seeing her leaning against the banister, fingers looped in her jeans, he couldn't help but smile. She smiled back and asked, “Everything ok up there? I thought I heard someone yelling.”

Miroku took his girlfriend's hand and went to exit the house. “Yeah. Just my room mate being an idiot.”

Sango raised an eyebrow in question. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He met a girl at the Halloween party but has yet to actually learn her name or even see her face outside of whatever mask she was wearing. They just text constantly.”

Sango's eyes widened. “Th-they do?”

Miroku didn't hide his puzzled expression. “Yeeeeeah...”

“Um... well...”

Stopping mid step on their trek to the campus food court, Miroku eyed his girlfriend suspiciously. “Sango?”

Biting her lip, the girl looked down at the concrete. “I think your room mate is texting my room mate.”

Eyes widening to nearly the size of saucers, Miroku burst out laughing. “You're kidding!?”

Shaking her head, Sango responded, “Nope. She calls him Foxy. I guess he was wearing a fox costume or something?”

Miroku was nearly on the ground by this point. “Jesus! Yep. That's him.”

“I don't see how this is so funny.”

Finally calming himself, Miroku placed his hands on her shoulders, “Because my dear Sango, this cannot be purely coincidental. Maybe the strings of fate had a hand in this, eh?”

Sango rolled her eyes. “You're an idiot. What are we gonna do? I can't just lie to her.”

Placing a finger on his lips thoughtfully, Miroku had a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “Mayhaps you won't have to my dear...”

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#inuyasha #inukag #inuyasha fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #my writing #my fanfic #my fanfiction #modern au #college au #the cat and the fox #chapter 3

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shadowrebel-17 · 7 years

Text

An Endless Journal - Second Entry

Entry 2

12/15/16

Hey Ellie.

I’m finally in my room… and what an upgrade! But… its why and how I got this upgrade that’s… hard to… put into words.

Guess I should start at the beginning.

First off, while on the plane, I had the strangest dream, there were these three nice looking guys in it. And no, it wasn’t that kind of dream… more… terrifying in the obscure way.

They were warning me of something coming or reaching for me.

The first was a soldier with floppy surfer hair, the second a chiseled black guy, but The last one, he was a dashing-yet creepy older guy who said

“You don’t understand, do you? But you will. In time.” And there was this big volcano and… that’s where I woke up.

But that’s not the weirdest part. The second guy? In my dream? He shows up for real walking down the aisle and Diego had the brilliant idea of shoving me into him THEN putting me on the spot.

I… well his name is Sean Gayle and he’s HOT and charming as hell, and tall, and apparently is the star quarterback for our university’s team (but I didn’t find that out ‘till later) so…. Yeah anyway my mouth moved before I could stop it, as usual. And I just blurted out that I had dreamt about him and all that… yeah not my best moment.

He didn’t seem to mind though. Definitely want to get to know him better.

Oh and apparently Diego filmed all of this, I have no doubt for blackmailing me into helping him on our finals… but I’d do that anyway.

So after that we noticed that the flight was taking longer than expected so I went up to check what was up with our pilot.

On the way met some of the other ten winners talking with our tour guide, Lila. Who might I add is… ok remember “tour guide Barbie” from Toy Story 2? Yeah that’s her. Perky and sunny as a Pina Colada. Great… now I want one.

Ok so anyway I go to ask the pilot and….. he’s totally asleep. Yep. Feet on dash, head on chest. And probably I would have flipped out if… if it wasn’t for the fact that I got distracted by the fact that HE was the beach-boy soldier in my dream earlier. Yep. Well… that and the fact of that southern drawl, blue eyes and that smile…

Oh yeah and apparently he gives nicknames to people that annoy him. So I’m “Princess”

Honesty, I… kinda like it. And because he seriously looks the part of a scruffy ranger I called him Aragorn.

Yeah and I may have a crush on him too… did I mention those eyes? He’s like, part Han Solo, part Aragorn, part Colonel Jack O’Neill from SG-1.

Anyway, right after that things got… scary like, frickin’ terrifying.

This big, black storm front hits, and throws me into a wall. And its bad. Like fire ball lightning and deafening thunder, Armageddon like bad.

I kinda got the sequence of things a little jumbled in my memory, honestly for the first half of it I just clung to a seat in shock, taking it all in ‘till Lila shook me out of it and helped me to a seat.

Somewhere in there the plane got hit and the engines died, people screaming and all that. All but one. There’s this girl with us, with a blue hoodie and she’s got a scar across one eye and has these dark eyes. There’s something off about her not like… bad just… she wasn’t afraid. if anything she looked… determined.

So yeah pretty much beside her it was Jake, he’s the pilot and Sean that kept their wits about them. The girl in the seat next to me, she… she looked worse then me at this point. About to have a panic attack. I cracked a joke like, a bad one, you know. The Cantaloupe one. Yeaaah… hey I did pretty good for short notice!

Anyway, I think it helped. Cause, like she laughed and started breathing again. And let me tell you… that laugh. Her grin. Okay yeah we helped eachother keep our nerves. She held my hand tight as did I in return.

Oh her name is Quinn and you have got to me her. Bright, bubbly, long sweeping red hair… looks like a Disney princess. And just as easy to be with.

Okay fine I like her too. A lot. Do I sound desperate?

Like… three people I’ve just met and I wanna spend more time with them? Maybe it’s the air here. Magical.

Okay I digressed. So somewhere after that Jake breaks us out of that storm and its as brilliant blue as it was before. Like… almost never happened. Except for the engines still being dead as you and I after that party Kaitlyn and her roomies threw last semester.

Honestly? Jake is one hellova damn good pilot. Like Tom Hanks in the movie Sully good.

He, without engines, got us on the ground AND parked in a hanger, coasting through it all. No one answered at the tower though. Which was spooky and it gets weirder later on.

But he got us down in one piece, and Oh My god this island is STUNNING! Green as an emerald gem from the air, caught a glimpse of crystal rivers and waterfalls on the way in and this big ol’ smoking volcano in the middle.

So on the ground got to meet the rest of the group better… had an encounter with one of the other girls while we were unloading our bags.

I.. may have been hitting on Sean. Like can you blame me? He reminds me of Kaitlyn’s friend Chris, with his gentle manners yet strength of character, wait.. heh, I think they are on the same team lol! Anyway he’s just… taller and so… how to… eh. Ok so anyway… back to what happened.

She, Michelle, lit into me for flirting with Sean, like straight outa Bad Girls Club. And well, there’s history with those two but they’re not together.

I… yeah that was rude but, hey, with what we’ve been through, frayed nerves and short words are forgiven. Anyway, we are ok with eachother now.

She and Sean ended up in an argument though. So I backed off from that. That’s when I found the first of several odd things. A honkin’ huge tranquilizer dart. (Yes honkin’ is a word. I’m from the Midwest remember?)

Whatever critter it was used on had to have been big. Or is really out of it.

I hope.

That’s also when I noticed creepy scar girl in the hoodie was watching and listening to us.

You know, Diego and I are also wondering about something. That there are Ten Students that won, yet not counting Jake the pilot and Lila the tour guide, we’ve got Sean Gayle, Michelle, his friend Craig (must be another football player judging from his jacket.) Grace who is one smart, sweet little lady, Quinn, and umm… the ivy league loudmouth, who’s name escapes me. [A scribbled in note of “Aleister” is apparently added later]

Then Zahra, emo-chick, that’s a petty name by the way, Raj, big playful fellow. He’s cool. Then Diego and I. That makes ten… she makes eleven.

What’s her story I wonder.

Anyway now the weirdness really picks up. There is no one here.

I mean NO FREAKING PERSON!

Besides us the whole place is abandoned. Its creepy. Like that ship, the Mary Celeste. Everything is in its place, half finished cups, luggage etc. Just… people.. gone. Very Twilight Zoney.

I’m still waiting for the You Tube prank folks to pop out.

Jake and I check out the control tower, empty like everything else but… there were these lights, in and on the forest and the air, like I imagine the Aurora Borealis to be like. Only saw them for a few moments in the air there. Not back outside. Now Grace had mentioned earlier this place as a very special ecosystem. So perhaps its like those glow-y plankton in the Pacific just, airborne. Anyway, it was magical. Aaaand yes I think I made Jake blush by holding his hand. .

Also found out he’s an ex-navy pilot. Some altercation with an officer.

Aaand made a fool of myself… heh, and I remeber it pretty well so here it is:

Jake: “Look, I’m from Louisiana, and if ferrying rich jerks around a couple times a week is the price I gotta pay for never setting foot back there, hell I’ll pay it. Been sleeping in a beach hammock in Costa Rica ever since.”

Me: “That sounds lonely”

J: “Uh yeah, that’s the appeal” (man that crooked grin of his… Though this time I wonder… if it isn’t forced.

Me: “I mean, I get wanting to get away for a little while but… don’t you want more? You know, someone to come home to… someone to listen to you… someone to hold you all through the night…”

I know! Gosh! I gotta think before I talk! His… response though… Looking back now I’m not sure if he minded my… blunder.

“You offering, Princess?”

Like… totally teasing me… right?

“what?! No- I.. I just meant.. in theory…”

Yep… damn… blew it.

“In theory, I wanted to be the best pilot the Navy had ever seen. In practice… well you cant beat a cold beer and a Caribbean sunset.”

We talked more as well… honestly didn’t take that long to check the tower in comparison.

I also quick checked out the beach with Quinn, Raj, Craig and Michelle too. Man… Quinn is not subtle. And that is not a bad thing… she um, gawd I’m blushing again, so we went swimming and she, considering what she went through on the flight was so, happy. I mean skipping and splashing and flirting.

She’s beautiful Ellie. That’s about all I can say at the moment.

She did have one down moment though. Referencing how she wasn’t always this way and that after last year she decided to make the most out of life. I wanted to ask more but she was too serious so… things got wet ;) (splash splash)

And OMG and there was this flying butterfy-seahorse! It… it was as bright and shimmering as that Aurora I saw with Jake. Only Quinn and I saw it before it flew away though.

Craig had buried the sleeping Raj in the sand.

Anyway, I wanted to unpack before it got much later so I could go exploring more so we all went back to the group and that was when we had found out just how devoid of people this place was. In Sean’s words. “Where the hell was everyone!”

After getting over the shock we dropped our luggage in the lobby and split up into groups to look around.

Seriously, this resort is beautiful. Stunning. A dream come true! … if it wasn’t so… so.. empty.

Jake said he’d go with Brain Trust (Grace, btw love his habit of nicknames, I might stick with it!) And look around the pool area, Zahra and Lila to the ballrooms, I went with Craig, Raj, Sean and Michelle to the restaurant. My stomach made that call.

Also noticed hoodie-girl was missing. Weird.

Anyway at the restaurant named Tortuga. (Cant hear that name without seeing Jack Sparrow lol) like the rest of the place, seems everyone left in a hurry. Even the credit cards were left on the table.

Sean pointed out that the Volcano was supposed to be dormant. That big thing out the window was definitely not dormant. Very steamy. Eagle eye there also spotted some kind of flashing beacon. Maybe a building or something near the mountain.

Anyway we went to compare findings with everyone else.

The pool didn’t have much other then being abandoned.

The ballrooms had been set up in some kind of retro-roaring twenties wedding.

Then… there was that big portrait on the wall. Aleister said it was Everett Rourke, the owner of the hotel. But damn… he was the last guy from my dream on the plane. The older guy with the creepy saying. Apparently he’s some kind of real life Tony Stark genius business man.

I don’t get something though… I get the feeling Grace is attracted to the snob, er Aleister.

She found something else though by the pool. By a damaged fence a foot long tooth! Man hate to see the animal that came from. Maybe that’s why there was that Tranq dart I found earlier.

So basically we are all now completely puzzled and worried and bewildered on what to do next.

And then freaky girl pops up behind me and says that its getting dark and we should all go to bed.

She says she was also looking around like us but wouldn’t share what she found… I think she trust me as much as I trust her… which ain’t much.

But she’s right. Oh and Lila at least knows her. Called her Estella.

So basically, hehe, consensus was (at Zahra’s provocation) to pick any room we wanted.

I snagged myself the honeymoon suit.

Just. Cause.

It has got the most amazing view! And its own hot tub! Candles, roses. The works. Aaand then Diego shows up and I almost mistake him for someone else. He’s not gonna let me live that down will he. Not telling him who I thought it was either cause then he’ll only make it worse! Or… better… heh. Love that guy.

Then he found this romantic note, with two different messages on it:

“I must see you one last time before tomorrow… Meet me at our spot in Neptune Cove. Midnight” and “I’ll be there.”

Oh my goodness I’m so tired… looong day. And it wasn’t over yet lol!

So basically I also got talked into going to a midnight impromptu pool party or “Raj Rage” as the big guy called it.

After all the drinks it’s a little fuzzy.. but I know Jake called Craig Drax, such a perfect fit! He also showed me that apparently he is quite thoughtful.

I… may have missed an opportunity with Sean but I saw Estella sitting alone up on the hill and well, I wanted to know more so excused myself a moment to go talk to her.

We… actually connected. Least… I think we did. I got the feeling that she’s been very hurt in the past and has little trust in people. Explains her attitude. Actually managed to get a smile out of her. Briefly. Before she left. Saying that the people in her life usually get hurt. And she didn’t want that to happen to me.

….. well okay then. That’s… confusing. But at least I’m getting to know more about her. She’s not so scary after all. Just… now I want to find out what hurt her in her past so maybe I can help.

Diego says I have a big heart and a big mouth. And that both get me in trouble. As you well know.

Anyway after Craig soaks everyone with a cannonball I go to get more towels…

Ellie, I don’t think I’ll ever forget what I saw. Something big with muscles and glowing eyes was staring at me from the bushes. With everything that had happened. I’m afraid I lost it. I screamed.

Sean, Quinn and Jake came over first but what ever it was it was gone. I’m not sure everyone believes me. Heck I’m not sure I believe me.

Kinda killed the party too. Which sucks.

Anyway at least this awesome huge bed makes up for it. Kinda.

Hopefully tomorrow we can figure out what’s going on.

G'night Ellie.

-S.

#choices stories you play #choices #playchoices #fanfic #fanfiction #mc #jake mckenzie #sean gayle #quinn kelly #estela montoya #endless journal

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loeking · 7 years

Text

Here's a truth

When u want wanted to go on a trip, there where a lot of reasons. But the best was that I wanted to be with you, I didn’t want to be apart, it hurt so bad even thinking about a bout without you, even thinking about it would make me shake and want to cry, so I didn’t know how to tell u and even if I did, u still would go. If I didn’t spend so much on a stupid app then we probably could have made it work, now if we were together I can see myself being okay with u not being with me all the time. Although I fear I will still have anxiety attacks while you gone, but I can manage it. And I hope u would text me and stuff. I know now how unfair it was. I know Ollie much I get excited when I want to do something, and u always stuck by me. I wish I had done the same, but I couldn’t handle myself and my feelings enough to let u go, I feel really safe with u, like I can go up to anyone and make a fool out of myself( just being myself) and be totally fine and feel happy and not fazed by it, when I’m with u, I needed u, and and now I know I can be alone and still trust u and love u and care about you even from a far, I want those special moments we had like when we went to Manchester and were chilling at the gas station, just u and me and the world, a couple, but to me we were so special and it felt so right, dim if u know what I’m talking about it was night and we were headed to a movie in Manchester, but we had moments like that all the time, and I’ve been trying to capture one of these moments in word for months now and I just can quite say it right. But I want want to have these moments as much as possible, and I want u to feel just as safe as I felt with u, i can let u go and do the things u want just like u let me, I would love to be included in them with u, but if I can’t then, if u could tell me why? Or is that to crazy, I just want to make thing right and be a good husband and a great couple, I don’t want to find ourselfs back in that place, so let’s find ways to make that not happen, counseling and ideas from other people, like u always told me. But I’d always think I was right, well I know I was wrong, I’m stubborn, and didn’t have a lot of trust, but the trust thing has changed, and I can’t gage how stubborn I am, but I know I can talk to my counselor about it and see if there is anything I can do when I get that way where I think I’m right no matter what. And anything else hat might help I will do promise hands down. I want to Marry u one day if u will have me and want to marry me to, and not in a video game, that’s sounds so stupid now omg, like what a killer, for real lol, I was thinking at the time it was. Unique and we’d be the first maybe lol idk so dumb like I said. Bad idea ha, and lastly, I want to try to explain this again, when I get that way where things get physical, it’s from a trigger, from something else not related to us, and it’s like wired into me, and I can manage it and fix it really, if u want to be with me u have to know that, that it’s really apart of me, the grabbing onto hand holding tight is a trigger and if u ever come back u my moms and I can sit and talk about how they use to hold me down when things got out of hand, and in that moment I could feel myself getting out of control like I could feel things tensing and it was a automatic response to calm everything down so u or I wouldn’t get anymore out of control, and I didn’t no hoe to just walk away, I didn’t know really anything else to do, I knew hat screaming wasn’t okay I was to do it as a kid and they would getting really quiet and say shhh don’t do that that’s not good. Kinda like what I did, I just didn’t know what else to do, i thought it was okay cause I didn’t know what else to do, but I felt awful doing it, and scared and didn’t know why I did that at the time, I remember scrambling in my head for a explanation for my actions, and didn’t have one, so I said what sound okay, tried to make it seem okay, instead of Say this. But I was scared and at the time I didn’t even know that that’s what was happening, at the time I was finding in myself why I did this and to me I couldn’t have done this for any other reason then to protect u or keep u safe, so thats what I said, but to me literally I was telling myself it was okay and everything would work out and if It happened then it needed to happen. Then I’d tell myself,it’s okay I must have stopped her from getting even more hurt or, from a really bad moment in her life for this moment to happen, and hats what I’d tell myself to feel better, and to hide my shame and my guilt, and my pain, and my cluelessness to what happened, because if u knew I couldn’t handle myself sometimes u would always be afraid of me and would never want to be with me, so I hit it, hit it all, but called out for help, and laid there depressed and didn’t no why, cause I was hiding it from u and from me, always telling myself I’m god and I’m amazing, just to hide the fact that I was ready to cut my wrists since I was a little kid, and I really want u to know that it really wasn’t your fault, I feel like, I was living unhealthy by not telling the truth to myself, therefore lying to you I guess to, saying u was fine, but I didn’t want u to think it was your fault, hair that some of the thing that happened between us triggered my past and didn’t know how to handle that Exept the ways i remembered how to, and the most memorable memeorire safe being pined down and whispering in my hear to I calmed down, I hated it at first but when I realized they loved me I loved being held and knowing someone cares for me, I wanted that for u too, deep down I know that’s why I choose this, and I wish I hadn’t, I wish I could have just gotten up and walked away, or not argued with u and let u leave, but sometimes it was anxiety that I’d never see u again even if it was a walk around the block, I knew sometimes i was being crazy, then that one story would creep back into my head of a girl getting kidnapped in a van, and that sketchy vans always parked on out street, and i then think okay, yeah she’s right she’s probably going to be fine this time, but what bout time number ten or time number hundred, that’s a lot of times that I could get kidnapped, at least that’s what always was going through my head. And I apologize for our second to last fight, the last thing I was thinking of was well this is really over, like after all this she isn’t wanting to listen, and when I say listen I just mean like when I’m trying to help with something u get offended because I think I come in to strong, and u expressed that be I said I would change hat, well it turns out it’s hard to change that part of a person, but I meant well, really did. But your reaction to my bad attempt at helping triggers me to think your not listening and then it’s like a never ending cycle of us misunderstanding eachother until either we would have angry sex, or just kinda leave it open as a wond, or worse into violence. at least that’s what I’m thinking, so i said I want it to stop, it’s over, and it was already violent, I wanted it to end, and I ended it, that is what went through my head, I had so much stress built up from everything we had been through already now austin coming back and hints were rocky with us, I knew that if I hit hit would be over, but in that moment I’d rather not be with u if it meant all this fighting, so I ended it, that’s what happened in my head, now right after I did it I regretted it so fast I tried to say something idk, but I knew that I had fucked up, I never wanted to hit u, I never wanted to fight with u, at that point I just wanted it to end. I never want to be in a place like this again in my life, I love u tho and I hope that there is a way we can work through this. Where we both are happy and together. That be awesome

Ps. There were some moments that we had where I listened and handled it right and things went well for a good while, I remember listening to people better then, but when it crossed into u leaving I just couldn’t handle it, I’m sorry, seeing u leave makes me have shakes and freak out, makes me want to talk to u immediately and I frequently would chat h my phone to see if u had messaged me and if u didn’t then in my head that would determine if u were doing u were okay or not or if u were lying to me, even tho u were and it was completely absurd. but it’s hard and that’s a real thing and I can’t make it stop, in that moment I believe what ever it is, I’m seeing it So vivd in my head I’m almost there. And I have to act on that feeling if I don’t I feel like what ever I’m worried about will happen, and if it does and I didn’t say or do anything Id be devastated. So I’d always call u and act upset or whatever to make sure that whatever I was worried about would seize to be a worry. And it’s like I can’t stop it and that why I’m going to counseling and all this to get this head working right again lol, no for real, like right now I feel okay for a sec but in a second I’m going to worry about a million things and probably going to influence what I do and say, and I recognize that, now how do I fix it? I trust u thou, I do, I just don’t know how to not make this thoughts happen, and Apparently I can’t, it’s ptsd, or something, and it’s wired into me now, an I can only manage it. And I’m sure it will take time. But I want to kick this thing in its ass, so if I ever to meet another Olivia, or even better we make things work, then I want to have this confidently figured out and know what need to happen.

#I've tried voicing this before now I think I'm getting better at putting it into words

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