To get up in the morning, wash and then wait for some unforeseen variety of dread or depression.
E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born, tr. Richard Howard
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mary oliver, from october
rm, everythingoes (trans. doolsetbangtan)
fyodor dostoyevsky, from the brothers karamazov
yumi sakugawa (source)
ocean vuong, from on earth we're briefly gorgeous
sylvia plath, from the bell jar
bernadette mayer, from the way to keep going in antarctica
ada limón, from dead stars
rainer maria rilke, from letters to a young poet
mary oliver, from moments
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I know it might be really hard to believe things get better right now, and you’re probably feeling a lot of pain and that’s making you wonder what’s the point in trying but I promise you’re not worthless, you’re not beyond helping, you’re not broken beyond repair. You’re just a person who has been through a lot and you haven’t had a break in so long, so it’s no wonder you’re so tired. Just as other people are deserving of good things, you are too. Just as they need rest, so do you. Just as they deserve help when they feel lost, so do you. You don’t have to go through all this alone.
And even though you might feel unloveable, people do notice you, people do care, even if it’s someone you don’t really feel that close to. There are people out there who are looking for someone like you to be connect with, who will think you’re funny and won’t judge you for being weird.
All the hate you have received wasn’t fair, and it might make you feel like there is something deeply wrong with you and therefore you don’t deserve any help, but just as humans have a huge capacity for doing awful things, we also have the ability to love, to help, to persevere, to create beautiful things. I hope you don’t give up on yourself, and that you are able to find help with whatever you need, and that you find the love, companionship and understanding you’ve been craving.
No one deserves to go through so much pain all alone, but please don’t isolate yourself out of fear of how others may perceive you, your pain, your problems. You deserve to be seen, to feel connected. There is hope, so please hold on, please get help if you need to, please try to talk to someone, please don’t give up. Things can still get better. I’m wishing you the best.
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Edgar Allan Poe, The Penguin Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe; from 'For Annie'
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to live, even when it feels unbearable. | Evelyn Waugh, from Brideshead Revisited (1945) / The White Book (Le Livre Blanc) by Jean Cocteau, 1930 / Mieko Kawakami, Heaven / Insomnia, Mark Andres, acrylic on canvas, 2021 / Florence Welch, from Useless Magic: Lyrics and Poetry; “Maybe it would be fun” / Aleksandra Waliszewska / El Sur (Víctor Erice, 1983) / Deer On the Side of the American Highway by Devin Kelly / neil hilborn, numbered days / Sun on the horizon (Naomi Kawase, 1996) / Blythe Baird, from If My Body Could Speak; “Eat”
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obit, victoria chang
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