#one cousin: bitchy but make it sexy. the other: bitchy but make it BLOODY

[solasan]

ok so @jewishelf, @denerims & @carverhcwke all tagged me to make my ocs in this picrew (thank u luvs), and i went a lil wild 

top row: cedany amell, adelheid hawke, mirae lavellan (all dragon age) middle row: dagmar brosca, gwyddien hawke, roslyn trevelyan (all dragon age) bottom row: nettie fawley, ruby, wren grey (harry potter, vampire the masquerade, fallen hero)

im not gonna tag anyone bcos i think everyone and their mother has done this by now, but if u wanna do it just say i tagged u !!!!!

[ace-trainer-risu]

oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

[merlinficreview]

Search and Rescue Chapters 14-15 Review!

Search and Rescue (Word Count: 77228): Chapters 14-15

Chapter 14

This chapter opens with Arthur dancing his troubles away.

He is sweaty and gross. “Afallach is the first to stop. ‘Must we...’ He doubles over as he pants. ‘Must we go on much longer?’” That one’s a double hitter, ya’ll!.

“’No, we don't.’ Arthur's exercised enough for the day and is on duty starting at four.” Ohhhh he’s “exercising.” I legitimately thought he was dancing in a club from this description of him, “Pounding the ground with his feet, Arthur keeps the tempo of the music wafting into his ears. Pumping arms and legs, he goes faster and faster, till sweat covers all of his body and his hair's drenched. Perspiration dripping from his elbows and from his nose as well as his eyelashes, he looks ahead, head tipped up, so it won't get into his eyes.” That seems like dancing, yes? Maybe he’s running? Also, that is not a response to the question you were asked, Arthur. You ought to learn better listening skills if you’re going to run a country.

Arthur has helicopter duty in four hours and he is nervous about seeing Merlin at work again. “He won't be so petty as to ask to change teams, but working side by side with Merlin today won't be easy.”

Nope. That’s not petty at all. If fact, it would solve ALL your problems because you and Merlin would be able to get back together. Why are people stupid in these things? I know we have to have drama but it could at least be believable.

After worrying about facing Merlin, Arthur randomly answers Afallach again, “No, it's enough, we're going back.” Well, at least that one makes more sense as an answer. Isn’t this person supposed to be Arthur’s bodyguard? Why isn’t he in better shape? I feel like Arthur should look into getting someone more capable to look after him.

Pictured: Arthur’s Highly Trained Body Guard

Apparently.

When Arthur gets home, Morgana is there. She is furious because she’s called Arthur 20 times and he didn’t answer. “Arthur points a finger at his sister. ‘That's exactly why I didn't pick up. The last thing I need is frantic anything.’”

I thought Morgana was his cousin? Well this is European royalty we’re talking about so I guess she could be both.

Need I say more?

Morgana was clearly worried about Arthur and Arthur tells her he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Wtf, Arthur? If your sister-cousin calls you 20 times you could at least text her back to make sure no one died. He’s super bitchy to her so she leaves.

After he showers and he changes into his uniform, he thinks about how he usually changes at work but he can’t make himself today because changing in front of Merlin would make him think of sexy times. Do these places not have bathrooms or something? Or he could just go in early.

“At work he runs into many familiar faces. Though he doesn't feel like it, he greets everyone with a kind word. Partly because he can't be rude to people without a scandal happening.” Or maybe you shouldn’t be rude for no reason because that’s just not how anyone should behave ever?

Arthur goes to wherever Merlin is hanging out. “All in all, he still looks great, as beautiful to Arthur as he is impossible to reach out for. And isn't that a pain on top of all the other ones?”

It’s been like three days, Arthur, not three years, or even three months. How much could you have possibly expected him to change?

“He's saved from doing anything stupid by Gwen entering. ‘Merlin, Arthur, we've got a code blue.’” Is it actually a Code Blue this time? “’We're on our way,’ Merlin says, taut, serious, focused on the job at hand. He oozes professionalism like the Saxe-Coburgs drip old-world stateliness. ‘We'll get him to hospital in under twenty.’” That is in no way enough time to save someone in a Code Blue. They get into the helicopter and Arthur turns on their communication stuff. “Here Foxtrot Hotel, we have a major trauma, Helimed 54. Gunshot wound.” So not an actual Code Blue.

“Even though he means not to watch over them, Arthur strains to see overboard. He needs to know that Gwaine and Merlin are landing safely. He doesn't stop clutching hard at the controls until after they've touched ground.” I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s a job requirement for you to watch them to make sure they are safe, but ok.

“Gwaine reads them out quickly. ‘Sats are 82, going down. BP 110 over 95. He looks stable.’” An O2 saturation of 82 is NOT stable, Gwaine. Merlin tells Gwaine to bag the patient to get the O2 Sat up (see: not stable) and Merlin tells Arthur to land and come help them because the patient is not flailing all over the place. THIS IS WHY YOU NEED MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE ON A RESCUE TEAM.

“Arthur can't really do anything but, not only because Merlin's team leader, and as such has a right to order them about, but because he can't leave Merlin in the lurch like that. It's an instinct stronger than he is. Though that won't change how things are between them, this is a natural reaction to him, one he can't put a stop to. It doesn't mean he's going soft on Merlin. It won't happen ever again. But this he must do. For Merlin. For the patient.” What the hell? Why are people so dramatic? Your teammates and a victim of a gunshot are in trouble. OF COURSE YOU WOULD HELP THEM. If not, that makes you a terrible person.

Oh.

Drink.

Arthur goes and holds down the patient so Merlin could do whatever it is that he does. Incorrectly. As per usual. Why aren’t they sedating him? Just give him some Ativan, IM and he’ll calm down.

Merlin has Gwaine get IV access and for some reason, makes him set up a transfusion of O- blood. Merlin does another GCS and I disagree with his assessment but I don’t care to be specific about it.

“’Gotcha. There's a small exit wound consistent with a gunshot. He's not bleeding profusely and I can see no evidence of a haemorrhage…’” So… why did Merlin set up a blood transfusion when the patient isn’t losing blood? There is such a thing as having too much blood in a person’s system and that’s not a good thing. Fluids would have been a much better decision but for some reason, Merlin has an aversion to giving them. Like Professor Cave Fiasco. Dude was hemorrhaging like crazy and Merlin didn’t set up any IV fluids. That would have even been a time where a transfusion would have been an option but Merlin didn’t do that either. Merlin is literally the shittiest doctor ever.

And then… “A shadow moves over them. When Arthur looks up it's to see a man standing over them. He's young, so much so that a goatee struggles to grow on his chin. He's got a baseball cap on his head, a gun in his hand. ‘Stop it,’ he says. ‘Let him die.’” Why are there no police on the scene here? A gun fired in the middle of a protest and the police don’t show up? REALLY?

Merlin of course talks to the gunman, “don’t throw away your life, blah, blah, blah.”

He already did that when he shot this dude, Merlin. Keep up.

“Arthur's convinced the madman's going to shoot. Heir to the throne or no, he's preparing to place himself in front of Merlin, when the gunman curses, tosses the gun away and takes off at a run. Gwaine skids off to get the pistol. ‘How the hell do you engage the safety on this cursed thing?’” Every time it’s mentioned that Arthur is the prince, I kind of think, “Oh yeah. I forgot about that…” Which I kind of like because it means we see more of Arthur the person rather than The Prince of Wales. I don’t know why but Gwaine’s response is actually killing me. Thanks for the laugh in the middle of all this nonsense, Gwaine. I appreciate it. Oh and just want to mention Arthur willing to plant himself in front of Merlin and get shot for him. That just proves my point from earlier that them breaking up solved nothing and just served to give us some angst.

“’Give,’ Arthur says, toggling the lever to off. ‘I'll radio the police.’” Why has this not already been done though? Someone started shooting up a protest and the police aren’t there? What? Damn though, take charge, Arthur.

“’Hyper-resonance on the left side,’ Merlin says, auscultating the wounded man. ‘I suspect a pneumo.’”

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS CORRECT. YOU CANNOT AUSCULTATE HYPERRESONANCE. THAT’S NOT A THING. Hyperresonance is heard with PERCUSSION in a pneumothorax. ABSENCE OF SOUND is heard with auscultation of a pneumothorax. I don’t get how the author has clearly spent time researching but still gets super basic things incorrect that would have come up in their googling of this stuff.

Merlin places a chest tube. I hate those things. I’ve never seen one in real life before and I hope not to.

Arthur takes them to the hospital and has a crisis, imagining Merlin as the patient. Sure. Whatever happened to the gunman? Did the police ever show up?

After they get back to base, there’s a tense moment between Merlin and Arthur and then Arthur runs away for sadness reasons.

Chapter 15

Merlin and Gwaine are at a party. Merlin is slamming beers. Anne Rice pops in for her usual, “He's lost, adrift, purposeless. There's a sadness that tears at his heart day after day, gnaws at it till nothing but bloody stripes of flesh and muscle remain.” Merlin tells Gwaine he is only there for Finna. How many retirement parties is this chick going to have? One and done, Finna. One and done. Arthur is also there even though I don’t think he’s ever met Finna and Merlin is bitchy about it, asking why he’s there. Which is a fair question to me. “’Same thing you're doing.’ Gwaine rounds on Merlin, eyes narrowed. ‘Since when you've got a beef with the Swan Prince?’” Is this supposed to be a Swan Princess reference? If so, I approve.

“’Don't be silly.’ Merlin stands. He needs a drink, be it one of alcohol free ones Finna keeps for those of her guests who prefer not to cloud their senses. As an ex pilot, she's sensitive to those things. ‘You're talking rubbish.’” Or maybe she’s just a regular person throwing a party and knows that not everyone drinks? That has nothing to do with being a pilot.

“He's upending empty cans of cola in search of a full one, when a hand lands on the same one he wanted, touching his into the brgain. He looks up and then his whole palm burns. ‘Arthur.’” Of course it’s Arthur. IDK what “brgain” is a typo for but it’s making me laugh all the same. Arthur tells Merlin he was going to give the soda to Gwen. I’m calling it now: Merlin is going to misinterpret their friendship for a romantic relationship, drama and angst will ensue.

Behind the scenes fun fact: I was originally going to go for a more “dramatic, throwing one’s self on their bed, angst” sort of gif but this one is more representative of how I feel about my prediction.

“He did this to protect them, to cut things off before his feelings for Arthur could take such seed he couldn't extricate them from the weave of him, to shield himself from a loss that would be unbearable. Arthur is so dear that losing him for good, to death, would put an end to Merlin too. ‘She... she deserves it.’”

Oh and I’m calling that a win for my prediction because Merlin is clearly not talking about the soda when he says that.

Gwaine is following Merlin around asking him what the fuck is going on with him. He thinks Merlin is just super stressed out and suggests he takes some time off work. “’Gwaine.’ Merlin takes Gwaine's hand in his and clings tight. His work is vital to him, the threat of it being taken away makes him tremble with near fear. ‘Gwaine, I'm fine.’” Calm yourself, Merlin.

No one is taking your job away from you but if you’re impaired, you can’t work. Think of your patients.

“Gwaine holds his gaze. ‘That's exactly what people say before they have a breakdown.’” LOL I love Gwaine in this.  “’I'm not having a breakdown.’ At least not a mental one.” You’re having a physical breakdown, Merlin? You need to get to a hospital ASAP then. You’ll die.

Merlin and Gwaine continue their conversation and Arthur comes in from nowhere, “’It looks to me as though Gwaine was being a bit too rough,’ Arthur says, eyes wide and full with emotion. ‘I won't have that.’”

Oh fucking hell. I was hoping to get through this without Caveman Arthur protecting poor defenseless Damsel Merlin. Gwaine figures it all out because he isn’t a total idiot.

Merlin wants to “explain” and Gwaine says there’s no need because, duh. I have to paste this entire next part because holy crap the unnecessary drama:

“’I acknowledge it openly.’ Arthur's voice is firm and decisive. ‘There's no need to hide—‘‘Arthur!’ For himself, Merlin has no wish to hide anything. It's true that all questions will be painful, like fire under skin, but he can bear that now's the cat's out of the bag. He's a big boy. Besides, Gwaine's mischievous but never malicious. Any joke he might aim at Merlin would be well meant in the end. All Merlin's concern is for Arthur. For him a fling would mean being splashed on the front pages of more than one rag. It would be a scandal. It would also be for nothing because they're not together anymore. It would do all the damage without any of the perks. Merlin doesn't want that for him. ‘You can't.’ ‘I can and I will,’ Arthur tells him with a pointed glance that softens the more he looks. ‘It may be in the past but I don't intend to hide like a thief in the night.’”

This is so weird. It’s just admitting it to Gwaine and he already knows so I don’t get why Merlin is being all, “NO YOU CAN’T!!!” And, “It may be in the past but I don’t intend to hide like a thief in the night.” What? Just… what? IT’S GWAINE. Not a press conference. These people are way too dramatic about everything. This is just so excessive.

“Merlin knew that talking about it would flay him open. But the experience of it is exquisitely more hurtful than any prediction might have suggested. Eyes getting heavy with a sheen of tears he doesn't mean to shed, he says. ‘Yeah.’”

I’m actually laughing at this quote. What? Gwaine excuses himself from this nonsense, like anyone would.

“’Look, I'm sorry about the Gwaine thing.’ Arthur places a hand on Merlin's shoulder and gets him walking. ‘I didn't mean for him to guess. If I could, I would have safeguarded your privacy with all that I had.’” So Arthur is doing the thing he accused Gwaine of doing earlier by putting his hands on Merlin to move him the direction he wants him to go. But it’s ok because it’s Arthur. No. I hate this. I hate this trope so fucking much.

They start to have a conversation about their relationship. It’s dramatic. I don’t care. Then Gwen comes in like a wrecking ball, as she should, to stop this nonsense.

Thanks, Gwen.

“’Arthur,’ Gwen calls out from among the crowd of party goers. She's got a newspaper in her hands. From the splash of red on its front page it's clear it's The Sun. ‘I've just got this from Drea.’ She points at their colleague. It's about you, Arthur.’ Arthur snatches the paper from Gwen. Reading over Arthur's shoulder, Merlin makes out the words: Exclusive: Ex Con Nearly Kills Heir to Throne.’”

GOOD

That’s it for this post. I hate this excessive drama. It really bugs me because it’s over something so easily solved. Merlin continues to be the most incompetent medical professional ever. I love that Arthur’s personal body guard is terrible at physical exercise. He’d never be able to save Arthur if someone ran off with him. Did we ever actually find out what Finna’s party was for? And why Arthur was there?

Until Next Time: