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girlasterisk · 3 years

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hi i’m bouta write a headcanon-theory-meta-backstory-fill in the blank thing cus i cannot stop thinking about dean struggling with his bisexuality throughout his life. fair warning though, it’s gonna be long (and yes i’m blaming john so if you do like him, this post will most definitely not be for you) !! also !! abuse and homophobia mentions as i go on !!

(this post is just pre canon. i’m still writing one for the canon timeline so i’ll link that here when i finish. also if you wanna be tagged when i post the next one lemme know!)

ok so like around 14/15 dean starts to notice guys as well as girls. he didn’t know people could even feel this way. he’s never really heard john’s opinion on gay people so he wasn’t influenced by him yet and it was just internal conflict for dean at that time. eventually he realizes that there’s nothing wrong with him and that bisexual do people exist.

i think up to this point he’d probably gone out with a girl briefly (like a school dance or something). then, in whatever town they’re staying in at the time he gets a boyfriend. unfortunately john finds out and when he does he hits him and calls him all sorts of names and slurs and then they drop whatever case they were working on and leave the town immediately. (keep in mind sam doesn’t know bc he thinks or was told that it was from a hunt or a fight at school)

so this has all happened right around the time of the flashbacks we see in 9x07 (bad boys). so now they’re in a new town with a new case and this is where dean steals the food for sam cus they’re out of money. dean gets caught, john says to let him rot in prison (bc he’s a homophobic little bitch and thinks that’ll do dean some good) and dean gets sent to sonny’s. (also see dean’s marks on his wrists which we all agree was not a werewolf, it was john. so that would line up here)

so, sonny’s. now at this point dean has the mindset that being gay or bi or anything not straight is bad and wrong and dirty and weak. so while at sonny’s we know he gets a girlfriend (robin). i think that when he knows he has feelings for her his thinking (bc of john) is now like “i’m not bad or weak! i have a girlfriend” and this is where the repression continues. so then the rest of the time at sonny’s ensues and eventually john comes to pick him up.

so now, john is not really acknowledging dean and is just treating him like a soldier that’s only purpose is to do the job (i wonder what this could possibly lead to?) to break the tension, dean tells him about his girlfriend and he notices that this makes his dad treat him a little better (not great, but improvement) dean notices this and keeps this in mind. he also notices that the more he just shuts up and does exactly what his dad tells him, the more it’s seems john is respecting him.

now the new york cbgb story. for me this happened around the time dean got more comfortable around his dad. bc over time he sees what he thinks his will dad like and respect him for, so he continues to do those things and mold his personality around those traits. so, he sneaks out to the club right, and this is purely hc but i think ok he sees guys he thinks are attractive but he doesn’t want to feel that way so he goes with this woman and he gets drunk for the first time to push down le gæïę. ofc now he’s drunk and he’s lost his inhibitions (somewhat) and he gets involved with the people there (girls, guys, we don’t know)

now, john finds him. (at this point dean is just with the woman you’ll see why) and dean being drunk finally has the courage to tell him he hates him and for john it seems like it’s coming from the fact that he took him away from the party, and it is that, partly, but it stems from, you know, other places. i think john was only upset with dean for sneaking out to this party and it would’ve been much worse if dean had been with a guy when john found him. but luckily it was not a guy, so dean only got “it’s not my job to be liked. it’s my job is to raise you right” which for my headcanon theory brain is meant to be like “straight is right” you know? like as if part of raising dean “right” was to literally beat the gay out of him bc of course that’s “wrong”. and this then attributes to deans mindset of gay is wrong, he has to be hypermasculine and super straight.

so from then on dean continues to build this super masculine like manly man no homo personality, but always in the back of his mind is the part of him that knows he’s bi even when he denies it to himself. at times though as he gets older and does see gay people on cases or even celebrities he slowly starts to see more people are like him. i don’t really know when it happens, but at some point, he admits to himself that yeah he sometimes wouldn’t mind guys (and that’s the most he can admit to himself but it’s ok) he never tells anyone bc he still has this part of him that tells him he’s wrong for this and that’s what keeps him from acting on those feelings often.

if he’s interviewing someone without his dad or is simply without his dad, he might be a bit flirtatious towards guys and even though he would never speak of it, he can’t stop thinking about it.

he goes on like this until one time john is gone and he’s going to be for a while so dean allows himself for once to actually pursue a relationship with this one guy he met in town. i’d say dean is 20 and sam is 16. so sam is in high school and he’s been feeling restless and cooped up for too long. he does notice dean is close with this one guy but doesn’t think much of it. anyways, one day when dean is out with his “friend” sam decides to run away. to get out. this is when sam gets bones (the dog) and lives on his own for 2 weeks (see 5x16)

obviously when dean comes home he goes frantic and can’t find sam (i like to think sam did leave dean a note saying he left though so that dean wouldn’t think he died) but dean blames himself for leaving sam to go be with his boyfriend. john calls and dean lies and says everything’s fine and john is coming back soon. dean has to find sam before john comes home. unfortunately he doesn’t and john is absolutely livid. [insert “and when dad came home” face here] he beats dean and says some really awful things and tells dean that he has to find sam. a few days later, he does, and dean takes him home. (i do have headcanons on what this did to sam too)

this entire experience leaves dean with the idea that this is karma for being bi. because in his mind, if he was just straight, he wouldn’t have had a boyfriend, he would’ve watched sam, and sam wouldn’t have run away under his watch. once again, he goes back into pushing down that side of him, bc to him whenever he lets himself explore that side, bad things happen.

ok time skip. sam’s left for college and john kind of understands that he’s lost one son (by his own doing), so determined to not lose dean as well, he gives him more independence and let’s him start hunting on his own. he still hunts with dean sometimes but now dean also does solo hunts.

at some point on a hunt with his dad, dean meets lee webb. [insert backstory we got here] and eventually dean and lee go on a few hunts together. there is a definitely thing that happens there between lee and dean and it ends bc they eventually go their separate ways, but it doesn’t end badly and that’s why in 15x07 they’re friends.

i know he had other relationships like cassie and i’m not really sure when he met lisa but maybe it was around here. but with this little freedom and independence from john, he still thought that part of him was dirty but sometimes if something happened between him and a guy he would let it happen. but he would probably feel terrible after as if what he was doing was wrong and made him weak (because thank you john for that a+ parenting)

so that’s the end of my pre canon theory-meta-headcanon stuff! stay tuned for the canon timeline cus i’m still writing that. (if you wanna add something or comment on this feel free to and if you would like to be tagged in part 2 lemme know!)

tags: @justcynicalbelieverthings

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #dean is bi #dean’s bisexuality #spn meta #spn headcanons #spn theory #spn headcanon #spn rant #john winchester’s a+ parenting #j*hn #sam winchester #spn stanford era #spn pre canon #i’m thinking about this #neena.exe #it’s my dean struggling with his bisexuality post

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killiths · 4 years

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The Selection | 1

a story inspired by The Selection series written by Kiera Cass

Summary: ROYAL AU | Ten girls, one prince and a chance of a lifetime. The only problem is that you’ve never asked for any of this.

Pairings: Prince!Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of s*x, slight angst (?)

A/N: who would’ve believed i’d ever come back to this? Nearly two years ago, i deleted literally everything off of Tumblr and now i’ve decided to bring it back... but re-written by a two-years-older me? I honestly can’t believe that this story originated in november 2017, really. But it did and now i’m bringing it back, hopefully better. I genuinely have no idea whether i have the mental strength to even write the second chapter, but here’s to hoping that i do???

Next chapter | Series masterlist

At first, when they announced it in the news, you didn’t know what it meant. You didn’t think much of the Selection because you knew that it wouldn’t concern you. You knew that you wouldn’t take part in it because you had already found someone you love. Even if participating in the Selection meant money for your family, you’d never take the deal over the man you loved. Over Bucky.

Besides, it’s not like you had any chance whatsoever of being chosen. At least that’s what you thought.

You really weren’t planning on putting an application in for the Selection. But in the end, you felt like you didn’t have another choice. It wasn’t even driven by you, rather than your stupid emotions and pain. The need to get as far away from home because you were heartbroken.

The Selection can make your life better. Much more than me, (Y/N), trust me. I love you and that’s why I have to let you go.

Bucky’s words keep playing in your head like a broken record. Even when a random man comes into your house to interview you the day before you’re about to leave for the Selection. He asks you things that make you incredibly uncomfortable, like if you’re still a virgin. And, obviously, you are because unlike other people you wouldn’t dare to break the law. (It’s kind of stupid to have a law that states you can’t have sex before marriage, but it’s a thing.) However, it’s nothing compared to what follows after.

“Whatever the Prince asks you, always comply. Saying no would be breaking the law.”

You grimace in response, but the man already turned around to leave. He doesn’t see your frown and when you give him a fake smile as goodbye, he doesn’t seem to notice it’s not genuine.

What did you do? Have you really just become the Prince’s property for all you know, because you let a guy break your heart? And for what? Because he loves you too much? That’s some big-ass bullshit right there. How could you be so stupid?

You should’ve tried to argue more, when Bucky said you should break up. You should’ve told him that you’d rather be a lowly Six than a Three (which you have just become as a participant of the Selection) or God forbid a One (the caste consisting of only the royal family). Maybe you wouldn’t be able to pursue the things you like anymore, that being art, but at least you would have Bucky. The man you love.

You have considered hating him for what he did to you, but you entering the Selection is not his fault. It’s yours. Even if he broke up with you so you could join the competition, it’s you who decided to go through with it in the end. He wasn’t the one to sign the papers, it was you.

He still broke your heart, though. You’re sad and you’re angry and you want to hate him, but you can’t. How could you? You’ve been in love with Bucky since you were fifteen. It’s been two years and you can’t just stop loving him with the snap of your fingers. Although you wish it was possible.

“Are you okay, honey?” asks Gemma, your mom, as she enters the dining room. She has concern washed all over her face.

You nod, giving her a weak smile. “I’m fine, mom.”

“You’re crying, honey, and I’m not stupid.” She approaches you, wiping a single tear from your cheek with her thumb. “It’s James, isn’t it? You’re sad because of him.”

You look up at your mother, gaping. You and Bucky were supposed to be a secret. Nobody should’ve known, yet your mother does? It makes you wonder whether there’s more people who know. And if so, who are those people? Perhaps your older sister, Cassie, and Bucky’s sister Becca know. Maybe you weren’t as careful as you thought, and if your mom knows, those two definitely do, too.

You frown, but nod. There’s no point acting like you have no idea what she’s talking about. After all, she is your mother. “I always thought we’d get married and be happy,” you say quietly, feeling another tear falling down your cheek. “But he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“That’s because he loves you, and he doesn’t want you to give up your drawing and painting.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the things I’d lose if I married Bucky. I lost him.”

The thing about marriage in Illea is that a woman always gets the caste of the man she marries. Even if the woman is a Three, for example, she’d become a Five the moment she married a man who is a Five. So, for you as a Five, marrying Bucky would mean a lower caste than you already are.

As a Five, you and your family struggle with money and having food on your table every day. Sometimes you go days without electricity, when it’s really bad, and sometimes you simply skip meals because you have to. A Six has this, but twice as bad. However, it’s still better than being a Seven, or an Eight, in that matter. Eights are homeless people and convicts, though.

“Yes, but remember that he lost you too. He was willing to lose you, so you could live a better life.” Gemma smiles at you, but you don’t have the strength to return it.

“How is being a play toy to the Prince a better life?” you ask, rolling your eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve just been told to say yes to whatever the royal prat asks.”

“You don’t honestly believe the Prince is a prat, do you?” Gemma raises an eyebrow at you.

“He hasn’t given me a reason to not think it.”

“He hasn’t given you a reason to think it either,” Gemma argues.

You groan defeatedly. Of course, your mom’s right. “I already regret applying to the competition.”

As your mom hugs you, you remember that you’ve been given a check with money for before you enter. Then your family will be getting one every week that you stay in the Selection. That’s perhaps one of the few good things about this situation. Your family now has money to buy food for the next month and if you last at least a week, they’ll be able to pay the bills too.

If anything, at least the money will be worth all of this bullshit…

#the selection #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers au #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #writing*#i cannot believe i'm doing this #i'm literally still on a writing hiatus

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revenantwinery · 3 years

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For the sake of Art

This article came about because of a discussion between two longtime friends who have happened to have built their careers in the wine industry. Each of us reside on opposite sides of the country but speak frequently about all things wine, food and sports.

Earlier in the week during a phone conversation with my good friend Tim, who resides in The Garden State (New Jersey), I made a comment about a piece of art his eldest daughter Ashly had just completed and shared on Instagram @ashmyersdesigns. It was a portrait using spray paint on an 8’ by 8’canvas. The subject of the painting, Gary Vaynerchuk, of The Wine Library, a prominent retail wine shop in New Jersey. Gary used to host a series of video posts where he reviewed wines and sometimes interviewed winemakers as they made their way up and down the east coast on sales trips. The posts originated on Gary’s Wine Library TV platform. There is no argument in the fact that Gary garnered a cult-like following on the internet, while creating his own viniculture vocabulary. Let us not forget his contorted facial expressions while growling “the oak monster” or commencing a tasting with the words, “it’s time for a little sniffy-sniff.” Was it all part of his shtick? Undoubtedly it was but objectively I offer these observations, Gary “Vee” made it fun, he made it informative, albeit based on his opinions. Gary also spoke in an unpretentious and unceremonious bit of banter to anyone who appreciates wine and is willing to spend 15-30 minutes online watching his latest episode.

My colleagues, many of whom are national or regional winery sales managers along with state wide distributor representatives, eagerly awaited the Wine Library TV link featuring the latest installment to arrive in their inboxes. They sat in horror as Gary made negative comments or throws of elation when the scores matched the accolades given to a particular wine in their portfolios. Such is the fault with selling a bottle of wine based on the 100 point rating system.

As I spin through this yarn there are a few disclaimers to put out there. It is not my intent in this post to offer any personal opinions or criticisms about the wines or wineries presented in the two video clips. Now to be transparent, I have never sold wine nor interacted with Gary Vaynerchuk or the Wine Library in a professional setting. My good friend Tim does in fact sell wine to the Wine Library on an ongoing basis. His daughter Ashly “The Artist” does not know Gary Vaynerchuk personally but is simply inspired by his positive attitudes and does follow him on twitter.

What started as an acknowledgement of a talented young artist painting led me to reexamine a wine critics videos from 2006 & 2008. I then compared those same wines using their current vintages, prices and scores supplied by an independent retailer on the opposite coast as a way to illustrate the changes in the Napa Valley wine industry over the last twelve or so vintages. But to further entice the reader I felt the story would have been incomplete had this piece not contained the data supporting those changes.

Embedded in this post are two old Wine Library TV videos that I suggest you view so as to better digest the points being presented. The first is from 2006 and the second released in 2008. The subject of the 2006 video is the tasting of Napa Valley Cult Cabernet Sauvignon.

The wines with the vintage and retail prices per bottle are as follows. I have chosen not divulge the outcome of these tastings so you will have to view the videos for yourself and discover the outcome.

Wine Library TV video links

Napa Valley Cult Cabernet Sauvignon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdGQURCdnaE&feature=youtu.be

Napa Valley Cabernet (Tasted Blind)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdGQURCdnaE&feature=youtu.be

Video One… 2006 – Napa Valley Cult Cabernet Sauvignon

2003 Opus One $125.00

2003 Insignia, J. Phelps $110.00

2003 Cabernet Sauvignon “Reserve”, R. Mondavi $88.00

2004 Cabernet Sauvignon “Special Select”, Caymus $120.00

Video Two…2008 – Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon’s Retail Price $30.00 - $60.00 per bottle (Tasted Blind)

2005 Beringer, $30.00

2005 Barnett Vineyards, $52.00

2004 Stelzner “Reserve”, $54.00

2005 Newton “Unfiltered”, $40.00

2005 Cliff Lede, $45.00

As the Wine Library is an east coast retail wine shop with great national exposure I have decided to compare what these wines look like in today’s retail environment by enlisting the help of my friends at the San Francisco Wine Panel, which is the wine tasting group for The Napa Valley Winery Exchange. They are one of the premier west coast based retailers with both national and international customers and exposure. I chose not to include Stelzner in this updated comparison as the label still exists but is under new ownership and the original vineyard has been sold to another prominent Napa Valley producer. There are a couple of wines that did not meet the criteria of NVWE and have been omitted altogether. When a San Francisco Wine Panel review was not available a Wine Spectator review was substituted and noted.

The Wine Library TV reviews and prices are documented in the two videos but I have chosen to enlist the San Francisco Tasting Panels extensive tasting notes and today’s current retail pricing to illustrate and compare how the Napa Valley wine industry has developed over the last 12+ years. In addition there will be a chart depicting the rising cost of grapes by utilizing past and current harvest data from the California Department of Food and Agriculture’s Annual Grape Crush Reports for District 4 to substantiate the numbers.

Present Day Update on Napa Valley Cult Cabernet Sauvignon – Video One from 2006

San Francisco Wine Panel - 98 Points Retail: $383.00 2017 Opus One Proprietary Red Wine Oakville Napa Valley This year’s Opus is at once notably creamy and fruit-rich to the nose, where blueberry, dark plum sauce, mulberry, black currant, fig, sweet tobacco, vanilla, clove, cedar and hints of dry dark rose and laurel all fan-out. The impression of creamy-edged ripeness is mirrored on the palate, where the polished tannins are almost entirely submerged by a wave sweet vanilla, toffee, clove, mace, tobacco and peppercorn that support juicier flavors of blueberry, mulberry and plum. The finish is plush and full and beautifully food-balanced. Everything is deliciously satisfying now, but those with patience can expect four or five years of steady evolution. A blend of 81% Cabernet Sauvignon, 8.5% Petite Verdot, 5% Cabernet Franc, 4.5% Merlot & 1% Malbec. - DG

San Francisco Wine Panel - 99 Points Retail: $169.00 2016 Robert Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon “Reserve” To Kalon Vineyard, Oakville Napa Valley In really great years Mondavi almost always makes great Cabernet and 2016 is one of their classic vintages. The aromas are a dense, tightly focused melange of Cassis, black raspberry, sour red cherry, pomegranate syrup, crushed dark rose, dried herb, tobacco, leather, cedar and mace scents poised above a drying mineral undercurrent. Despite all its savory counterpoints the wine remains fruit-centric on the palate, where substantial yet highly polished tannins bring a chiseled raciness to the mouth-feel. The finish is extremely long, fruit dominant and never less than satisfying. Truly dinner-worthy now, it will reward at least six year years of cellaring and should prove long-lived. - DG

Wine Spectator - 91 Points Retail:$274.95 2015 Insignia, J. Phelps Red Wine Napa Valley This red offers lots of spice, cedar, gravel and lead pencil flavors, with a woodiness overshadowing the trim fruit. A Bordeaux style version that begs for cellaring. - JL

Wine Spectator - 95 Points Retail: $180.00 2015 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon Special Selection Napa Valley This delivers unbridled plum sauce, blackberry preserve and melted licorice flavors, but keeps a smoldering edge for form while picking up alluring black tea and incense notes on the broad finish. There’s a long echo of chocolate adding to this hedonist’s delight. – JL

Present Day Update on Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon (Tasted Blind) – Video Two from 2008

San Francisco Wine Panel - 95 Points Retail: $85.00 2017 Cliff Lede Cabernet Sauvignon, Stags Leap District Napa Valley If still a bit youthfully reserved, this Cabernet shows its class in the focused array of blackberry, Cassis, licorice root, cocoa nib, vanilla, mace, cedar and clove scents that the nose gradually unveils. Tannins and fruit zest tighten the mouth-feel at opening, yet once again airing reveals the wine’s energy, depth and length. If certainly closer to maturity in three years or so, it wants service with fatty meats to show its best at this stage. - DG

Wine Spectator – 90 Points Retail: $59.002017 Newton Cabernet Sauvignon, Unfiltered Napa Valley Solidly built, featuring a core of plum and blackberry notes, threaded with mesquite, mineral and savory hints. The finish shows a twinge of the rustic tannins that mark many 2017’s, but ample fruit keeps them well absorbed. – JM

Wine Spectator – 91 Points Retail: $95.002016 Barnett Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley MMV This mixes bright cherry and plum fruit with dark black currant and licorice snap notes. A briary spine adds energy, while the frame of roasted apple wood slowly melds on the finish. - JM

Questioning the escalating cost of your favorite Cabernet Sauvignon? This graph illustrates the rising price of Napa Valley’s dominant red varietal.

6 Year Average Price per Ton for Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon

At the time of this writing only the preliminary numbers from the 2020 Napa Valley harvest are available but I have one more observation to leave you with and that being a list showing the highest dollar amount paid for a ton of Cabernet Sauvignon grapes with coinciding vintage. Preliminary reports show that Napa Valley grape crush for Cabernet Sauvignon was down 43% for 2020.

2020 – A total of 17.8 tons were purchased at $65,919.21 per ton.

2019 – A total of 20 tons were purchased at $50,000.00 per ton.

2018 – A total of 18 tons were purchased at $50.000.00 per ton

Despite wild fires of 2020 raging through the valley creating hardships for owners of vineyards and wineries, winemakers, cellar hands and picking crews alike there was still over 120 tons of Cabernet Sauvignon picked priced at or over $30,000.00 per ton. Perhaps this might be better served in another discussion.

The expression of art can be created in different forms, with paint on canvas being the obvious or in the vineyard and then the cellar where the crafting of wine is refined while both should be admired and enjoyed.

Anthony Knox

Revenant Winery

Publié (Blog): @revenantwinery

Instagram: @revenantwinery

Twitter: @RevenantWinery

#revenantwinery napavalley calistoga ashmyersdesigns nvwe winelibrary art cabernetsauvignon napaharvest

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suspiriu-m · 4 years

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Examining Youth Culture

Youth Culture in television in cinema is a theme we’ve all seen before. In some way or another, we’ve all probably related or even seen ourselves in something we’ve watched. A lot of experiences we see in these coming of age style pieces most of the time have something to do with at least one of three recurring themes. Sex, drugs and alcohol. Character archetypes are also an important part of these stories too. To sum it up, we’re generally confronted with Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Popular Kids, Pot Heads etc.

A major point to take into account when looking at this type of media is the perspective the story is told from, and where it’s taking place. For example, Barry Jenkins’ 2016 film Moonlight, is completely different from 2018’s Love Simon, directed by Greg Berlanti. Moonlight tells the story of a young Black man named Chiron. Through three different time periods in his life, we see him come to terms with his identity and sexuality, all while living with his drug addicted mother in an impoverished neighborhood in Miami. Throughout the film Chiron not only faces the struggles of his sexuality within himself, but how his unaccepting peers react, his mess of a mother, and maneuvering masculinity without the guidance of his missing father. In a review written for The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw says that Moonlight

“is a film about masculinity, the wounds and crises of which are the same for all sexualities, but conditioned by the background weather of race and class” ((Bradshaw Moonlight review – a visually ravishing portrait of masculinity).

Love Simon however, is a completely different ballgame. The juxtaposition between the two films is extremely noticeable, even from just from looking at their promotional images. While Moonlight is more of a serious, realistic and emotionally charged movie, Love Simon has more of a young adult, coming of age, happily ever after tone to it. In the film, the main character has to find his way through growing up, high school, coming out to his friends and family, but most importantly figuring out how Blue is. Blue is the person that Simon has formed a connection with through emailing each other. The only problem? He has absolutely no idea who Blue even is. One of the more important aspects of this film when looking to compare it to others is the fact that the main character and most of the cast are all white. Not only that, but it takes place in a much more suburban setting compared to that of Moonlight. Simon’s relationship with his parents is very strong, his friends are all super close to him and the impression is given that they would obviously support him once he comes out. Surprise, they do.

In terms of which character I related to from the selection of films and shows assigned, I don’t really feel like I can truthfully say that I felt some sort of connection with them. Being gay myself, there wasn’t a crazy amount of representation in terms of queer youth in the films. Yes in Mean Girls you had Damian but he was kind of underutilized and exaggerated. In Euphoria you have Jules who is a trans woman but that also isn’t something that I’ve experienced and won’t pretend to. Could I relate to a few aspects of her character? Of course, i’m sure anybody can. But am I able to say I identify with her? Definitely not. That’s not a bad thing though, trans stories need to be represented in the media. More importantly they don’t always have to be represented in some tragic story or situation. Even though we’ve seen more queer representation today than ever before. We still have a long way to go. Rachel Bays wrote an article for The Advance-Titan stating

“Out of 109 major studio releases in 2017 researched by GLAAD, roughly 13% had LGBTQ characters. Of these films, about 64% featured gay men, 36% featured lesbians, 14% featured bisexuals and 0% featured trans-inclusive content”(Bays The complicated history of queer representation in film: The Advance).

It’s imperative that we see more queer representation mashed with Youth Culture in our media because not every single person experiences the same thing, especially queer kids. In terms of Kids, Saved By The Bell and Mid 90’s, I don’t specifically remember any particular moments in which I personally felt any sort of strong connection.

Now, if we’re gonna speak about common themes in a lot of these stories, then here is where I can say I definitely connected with some situations more than specific characters. Sex, drugs and alcohol are topics we see come up in a lot of coming of age or youth centered stories. In Kids, the main cast is basically parading around the city smoking, drinking and fornicating multiple times throughout the entire day. In Euphoria, one of the main characters Rue suffers from drug addiction. Kat comes to terms with her sexual awakening and a lot of her storyline is focused on her coming in touch with that side of her, whether or not it was the best way to portray it. And most of the other characters are all seen smoking, drinking out having sex at some point in the series.

Growing up, especially in our teen years, we’ve all had the opportunity to partake in at least one of those activities previously mentioned. I know for a fact that I have definitely been to parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed. I’ve encountered hookups and the whole nine yards. Something that really stood out to me in Euphoria was the episode in which Jules ends up meeting with an older man in a hotel room late at night. We shall not name the character for sake of spoilers but those of you who watched know exactly who i’m talking about. That entire scene was just gut wrenching for me to watch and I know it was for many other young queer people as well. Everything about that scene was purposefully uncomfortable to watch from the cinematography, music, acting and the location.

Speaking of music, the soundtrack to a film or TV show is super important and a lot of the time helps the creators in getting their point across. Euphoria specifically used a lot of modern music but also threw in some classics as well. The singer-songwriter Labrinth played a big role in adding music to the show’s soundtrack. He even collaborated with Zendaya in making All For Us, the show’s theme and closing track. It was premiered in the last episode of the series and incorporated into the storyline with a performance by Zendaya herself. This song specifically is so important aside from the rest of the show’s music because it aids in showing Rue’s downfall at the end of the season. She goes through so much in her recovery and relapsing and her relationship with Jules that when Jules finally decides to hop on that train and leave even though Rue tells her it’s not the best idea, it absolutely crushed her. In an interview for Rolling Stone magazine, Labrinth stated “When you look back to your teenage days... it feels semi-magical but semi-crazy and semi-psychotic. I wanted to make sure the music felt like those things”(Marks How Labrinth Created the Perfect Soundtrack for HBO's 'Euphoria').

To help convey how certain songs can help in telling a story, I created a short playlist with songs that I felt matched certain plot points in the show. Without going into too much detail in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I want to give you guys a short explanation of each song about how I feel it can fit into the show. In no exact order, the first song I chose was Regulars by Allie X. The song is about trying to fit in with society and the people around you when you feel out of place all the time. Personally, I feel like this is a good representation of Rue when she comes home from rehab and has to try and blend back into society knowing that everybody knows where she was. Halsey’s Beautiful Stranger is about meeting somebody after being hurt so many times, or just being in a bad headspace and finally feeling like this person could be the one. This is a good explanation for how Rue feels about Jules when she first meets her. She’s hesitant but slowly starts to fall in love with her before Jules starts acting out. Contaminated by Banks is a piece about loving somebody but having their history or the other person's actions make you feel not so good about the relationship you have with them. This is how Rue feels after her first little fallout with Jules. They kind of have an on and off relationship throughout the season and Rue subconsciously has doubts. Simmer by Hayley Williams is a song about suppression. Suppressing your emotions, especially the bad ones like anger, fear, sadness, rage. Nate in the series suffers with a lot of mental suppression. He suppresses his feelings about his relationship with his father, his questioning sexuality, his feelings for a specific character. Although he does lose his cool multiple times throughout the show, it’s not until the end of the season that he really bursts and lets everything out. Another song from Hayley Williams with her band Paramore called Fake Happy is also on the playlist. Fake Happy, to put it simply, is exactly what the title suggests. Pretending to be okay when you’re really not. In the show Rue relapses a few times whether that be big or small, and she has to hide it from her friends and family.

Maddy and Cassie are both the pretty popular girls of this show, leading me to choose Rina Sawayama’s XS as a representation of them. The title XS, otherwise interpreted as “excess” is literally about money, appearance and materialistic items. All of which Cassie and Maddy display throughout the show. The popular cheerleaders with the nice clothes and toned bodies, the pretty makeup and done up hair. It’s a perfect representation of their characters in my opinion. Even though they do have storylines going deeper into their minds, this is what they portray on the surface level.

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Hallucinogenics by Matt Masson is a song about going somewhere else most likely due to drugs, and feeling like a different person. Although the song is a bit lighthearted in terms of sound, I think it fits with the scene with Jules and Rue taking drugs together and tripping in her room together. Rue was wary about doing it especially after the fact that she just got clean, and she already has this war in her mind going on but she does it anyways because she likes Jules. Attack of Panic by Aly & Aj heavily focuses on anxiety, which is something Rue deals with multiple times throughout the show. Especially the episode when she’s in school and pretty much has a mental breakdown and runs to the bathroom and hides. Even though the character Kat isn’t the primary focus of the show, her storyline has a bit of line shined upon it multiple times. For her storyline i chose Doja Cat’s Cyber Sex. Kat becomes a cam girl at one point in her sexual awakening and kind of goes full throttle into it. The song talks about having sexual relations with somebody over the internet and that’s exactly what Kat does, except she sees it more as a way to make an income.

Last but not least, I of course had to choose Labrinth and Zendaya’s song made for the show All for Us. The song represents Rue’s feelings of not wanting to let her family down, knowing the struggles and pain they have gone through and not wanting to upset or disappoint them again. Everything she’s done to get clean and sober up has been because of them. She loves her family so dearly but in the end she just broke down again, all because of Jules and the mess that she got herself involved with pertaining to many of the other characters she meets throughout the show. I hope you guys enjoy the playlist and take a good listen to the lyrics and themes in each song! They might not be perfect, but to me they have a lot of commonalities with themes and specific moments and themes from the show!

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/playlist-for-euphoria/pl.u-AGAaiylr2l

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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Once again, ccers have labeled some of their favorite fairytale tropes as indisputable facts.

Cassie:

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Anonymous asked: Okay I’m trying to figure out why people believe C/C is a thing. Not saying you are wrong, I just have 0 context to go on and you seem to have an interesting outlook. Would you mind telling me the background to this? Or why people believe D is in the closet? (Also I’m curious why nobody uses their names and instead letters).

Cassie: Nonnie, that’s a tall order. There’s SO much that absolutely indicates M is a beard and CC is most definitely real (not true. There is NOTHING to prove Mia is a beard or that cc is real). Not the least of which is the absolute adoration on D’s face whenever he looks at or talk about C. (Wait, so your biggest and best evidence is that Darren looks at Chris with love and adoration? That isn’t proof of anything except for your own bias, your Harlequin Romance ideas about love and that you don’t understand what constitutes “proof”). I’ve never once seen him look at M that way and usually when he is forced to speak about her, he does it in an almost offhand way and I don’t think it’s EVER in a complimentary way (”Ever” was her typo. This statement is not only NOT proof of a relationship but it isn’t even untrue. The cc fandom picks and chooses the evidence that confirms their bias and proves their point. Darren has looked at Mia with love and adoration and has said sweet things to her. He also married her which trumps all of the goo-goo eyes they imagine he’s given Chris over the years). He’s said she’s a big girl when told people were bullying her, referred to her as a ball and chain (NO he referred o himself as a “ball and chain”), and frankly, he treats her badly (NOT TRUE. If it was true I don’t understand what you guys even like about him. A man who treats his wife badly is a dick). He’s repeatedly slammed car doors in her face, walks as far ahead of her as he can, (Both of those scenarios were to avoid paparazzi photos of them together. It’s impossible for us to understand what it is like to have people taking our picture and making up stories about us so we can't compare this behavior to our lives.) got in the car for the sham mockery and left her to fend for herself in that monstrosity she called a wedding gown to try and get into the car (Yes, that is what all grooms do. That is why the bride has attendants), and shook her hand at one of the first big events they attended after they had supposedly been dating for over a year (This is another flat out lie. As I debunked- Mia and Darren were photographed standing together before the red carpet and he introduced her as his girlfriend to another person standing near them. See what I mean they pick and choose to prove their point even if it means lying) Contrast that with how reverently he speaks about C and how conscious he always seemed to be when they were in public together and there’s no contest (He tells the exact same story every time. Wonder why?) The love sick puppy with his whole face lit up like a Christmas tree appears whenever C is mentioned (What are you 12? Nobody who is over the age of 12 and mentally sound believes that puppy dog eyes are proof of a relationship). Paying attention to background moments is important (In other words slow it down, gif it, add music, repeat lies and notice the small stuff while ignoring the big stuff and maybe you can find cc in all the proof that Darren and Mia are happily married. Hear with your eyes because you will never find cc if you don’t). you will never If you need more, I suggest going through some of the bigger CC blogs and reading them.

As to why we use their initials and not their names means it doesn’t appear when their names are searched.

Anonymous asked: Okay more questions! Didn’t M and D start dating before G/lee? During their college years too right? And I assumed it was to avoid it being searched but it it for reasons? Maybe to avoid rude fans that disagree?

Cassie: Nonnie, if you believe the current version they are spinning, they met pre G/lee, as for when they started “dating,” well, it’s changed so many times I’ve lost track. I think the latest is 2011, but I’m not sure. (There are photos o them lying on next to each other one what is clearly a date with Darren’s pre-Blaine haircut so they have been dating since early- to mid-2010) They tried to say before G/lee, but D blew that outta the water when he said he had never been committed to anything as long as he had G/lee during one of the interviews he did near when it ended (It is not rational to throw away all of the evidence that they dated before Glee- photos, comments from Darren and MIa and from friends in exchange for one offhand comment he gave to a reporter. This is a perfect example of how the fandom uses confirmation bias t guide their beliefs) Honestly, if anyone can keep the ever changing timeline in order, they deserve a reward. D sure as hell can’t. (Just because Darren isn’t. sharing dates with the fandom doesn’t mean he doesn’t know. This is a silly analogy Cassie if one of your students used this type of argument, I know you would shut it down) They went to college in different parts of the country and M is older than D.

I could give two shits less about fans that disagree. I don’t use their names in case THEY (or D’s collection of dumbasses that make up his team) search things here (Wait, so you hide the names so that if Darren’s team can’t find it but Abby has said many times that Darren reads your blogs daily and his team does as well? They even change their plans based on what you say. This is confusing Cassie). The “fans” that don’t agree see everything we post, as they incessantly stalk our blogs and respond directly to what we say. I stopped bothering to see what they were saying a LONG time ago. It’s always the same old crap. But hey, hope they enjoy spending all their time writing epic posts about my fandom that get three notes, maybe four (You should DEFINITELY read my blog, it would keep you from making a fool of yourself believing something that is so obviously untrue because you would see could read about how your “proof” is all untrue. I have debunked the majority of the cc lexicon and provided evidence to back me up)

Hi is it okay if you could tell me when WS came into C’s life as a person who’s seen more than a friend? Like when and how long before the hand holding crap. I have no motive or am trying to start any fight, I am just really curious.

Cassie: To the best of my knowledge W first appeared with C in December 2011. (Wrong December 2012) The super awkward hand holding was June 2013, on the 12th, if memory serves. (Sure, I will beleive you) The day D was confirming M as the ball and chain. Never forget that France has super strict paparazzi laws to protect celebs. Everything released has to be with approval, unless something has changed. (We have photographic proof that Chris sat on Will’s lab at Naya’s party 12/7/12. We have a pic of Will kissing Chris at Coachella 4/13. The fact that you believe it happened on “confirmation day” is only because that is what Abby repeats but it isn’t true)

Anonymous asked: Thank you for responding to my WS question, so that means the tame bearding started when C said that stuttering thing implying there’s someone on An/dy’s show. Not surprising tbh. Kinda sad CC literally had to hide from like day 1, hope they won’t have to one day.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re exactly correct about when it started with C. He definitely didn’t mean W when he made that comment on AC’s show. It is sad that they’ve had to hide for so long, but I’m hopeful that won’t always be the case. (The Andy Cohen interview was on April 2014. How in the hell Cassie can agree that the “bearding” was tame after that interview when we have Chris on Will’s lap 12/7/12 and a kiss in April 2013 at Coachella. Darren and Mia had been dating for at least 4 years by the time Chris did this interview It’s ridiculous that you can claim that it “definitely wasn't Will” The truth is you have no insight into who Chris was speaking of and all evidence points to Will. Stop living in your imagination).

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Whenever i see anything m related…Anon

ajw720 Hi nonnie, I am not posting your ask because i can already see the hate coming my way, but i need to make a comment. M’s job is to beard for D, her job, for which she is compensated well. Part of that job is to hide his sexuality. And as part of it, she is supposed to enhance his public image, it is literally her job to look good on his arm and to not embarrass him. (Abby, you know that you have no proof of this and to surmise that “It is literally Mia’s job to look good on his arm and to not embarrass him” is you once again embellishing your own fabricated stories about a man and woman you know nothing about. It’s really not healthy for you to be living this deep inside your fantasy. You are getting too specific Your theory that Mia is simply Darren’s arm candy and nothing more proves that YOU have no idea what a feminism is).

And frankly, aside from her deluded stans, she does the complete opposite, constantly and all the time. It is not badass to vomit on stage and boast about it. It is not woke or feminist to have offensive, derogatory, and misogynistic themes and decor at a bar she owns and that D is publicly attached to, I would imagine it is against the CA health code to have naked women gyrating on the bar where they serve drinks. (You would imagine? Come on Abby, you're a lawyer, you know you're full of shit. They weren’t naked and people step on the bar all the time. I have never seen you rage about that. You have no understanding of what “woke’ is or what feminists believe.) It isn’t cool to wear a boob shirt to a professional event your public partner created that is marketed as family-friendly (Are you scared of boobs Abby? You have been to Elsie and it isn’t full of 2 yo’s. Darren has a potty mouth at Elise and I’ve never seen you be upset that his mouth isn’t family-friendly) It is completely insensitive to be mad that a young man tragically died because it interfered with her interview (This is so overblown. That wasn’t what she was doing and it’s time you stop using this to rally your troops, it’s a low blow and it isn’ true). It is frankly criminal in my opinion to raise money from fans and then not use it for the stated cause (another untrue “fact” you keep repeating. The money was for the project they completed). And I could go on all day (yes becuase you’ve made most of them up yourself). She is harmful to his image and becomes increasingly more so every day (This is untrue- she is his wife and Darren is about to have his best professional period in the next 6 months. I have never seen one bad work about MIa that wasn’t directly tied to the cc fandom, in other words, nobody outside the fandom dislikes Mia and she isn’t negatively impacting his image. Their wedding was extensively written about and on several best wedding lists without one bad word about Mia which also proves she isn’t hurting his image. You have also been saying this since 2015= of it got worse every day it would be 1,825x worse than when you first mentioned it) And any team that cared about their client would have removed him from the situation years ago. And if they needed him to be straight, get him a beard with ambition beyond being a beard.

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Anonymous asked: What happened with Mia, why everyone hates her? I'm new at this :(

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: A/non this is a long story. A lot of us tried to ignore her as much as possible for years (Bwahahahah the lack of self-image is overwhelming) You of course already know that she’s a beard ( honestly not an opinion but a fact proven by a lot of things, public and not (NOT TRUE) - let’s talk about her living with her real bf “and D” for example) (Again I have disproved this trope, They don’t even comprehend that Ben has a live-in girlfriend and has been with her for a while now) and this wouldn’t have been a problem if she wasn’t the daughter of a powerful couple (jealous much? This wouldn’t be a problem if her parents weren't rich? WTF?)) and she was kind enough to truly love other people than herself (This trope is so untrue. Mia’s friends adore her and comment on how great she is.) Because in that case she would have been a perfect beard and a wonderful friend for D. (It’s hilarious that she believes this is a valid argument) But unfortunately for D mostly the reality is way different (and yet Darren has never made one comment that suggests Mia is a beard, he is with Chris - in fact they have both denied they were in a relationship- or that he’s unhappy. This trope is 100% cc fabricated).

I can say to you, while suggesting to keep an eye for some posts about her here, that we have public video and post reporting how much awful she could be with D and his fans (I’m curious about this-anybody know what she is talking about?) Or we wanna talk also about her fans? With the excuse of going full bearding following D everywhere every time ( obviously she talked about grueling work and heavy travel schedule in 2015) she and his group stole the money asked with a fundraising for a new video. And don’t forget: She’s rich AF. (Again, so jealous that her parents are rich-her parent’s money is not her money. She’s an adult. She didn’t steal the money for the video-they made the video Gorilla. I’m going to write another post about this lie)

Our despising is mostly related to the shit she does to D, tho.(Which the cc fandom has completely fabricated. How would they have any info on what she. does to Darren? He’s never said one negative word about MIa)

leka-1998 It’s been 2 years since they forced the encagement. Almost 1 year since the sham mockery and not even 1 month since everyone and their mother included it in their 2019 recap (Leka morphing into Abby. As for posting -that is what friends and loved ones do. However, most of the “Recaps” were Top 9′s on Instagram and people don’t choose those pics, they are literally the TOP 9 liked posts of the year). And would you look at what’s happening, there are still people coming here wondering if something’s wrong.(Not a logical conclusion, they are reading your lies and then coming for answers)

Archives here are a good place to start. Let me just say one thing. She’s mocked Cor/y’s death because an interview had to be rescheduled and she was not happy about it. She’s an all around bad person and the complete opposite of what D stands for. (And what exactly does Darren stand for? IT seems to me that he loves his wife and their life. His potty mouth and love of sex puns fit nicely with her).

Anonymous asked: Not the same anon, but for someone rich, M dresses really really badly. You would think rich people could dress themselves especially since they can actually afford a stylist lmao

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: I’m for the people right of choice of wear whatever they want tbh, anon (I stand for freedom of choice except if you are Mia....then I can trash everything about you). Sometimes she is dressed by AW, sometimes by Lu/lu. The point is that most of the time she chooses the wrong dress alone because of her desire to be a ‘90 badass woman 20 years late. Something that I can understand because of my age but I also have to say that if you have to walk on a red carpet… You need to do it in the right way. She seems unable to understand this fact.(Everyone is free to be you and me except Mia who has to follow the patriarchal rules set forth by society 100 years ago: women are to be seen and not heard, should look pretty but be modest because it’s her responsibility to make sure men do not get boners when looking at her.She is supposed to wear new dresses according to Abby and they should be designer so as to look at Darren’s level. She has to look beautiful as defined by the ccers’ beauty standards or she is a labeled a bad person whom they are then free to bully).

#crisscolfer #crisscolfer lol #darren criss #ccer #mia criss #Ccers keep lying #Debunking cc lies #claiming their fairytales are facts #facts

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forfansbyfans · 6 years

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Fear No Risk: A FFBF Artist Interview

Homestuck Tarot Acts 6 & 7 - Card Illustrated: Seven of Cups

It’s always fascinating to see how huge the Homestuck art community is all over the world - Where are you from?

I’m originally from Poland but living in Ireland!

We’re in love with the tarot deck! Can you tell us a little bit about how you became involved?

I wanted to contribute to the fandom in a way bigger than doodles. I thought it would be wonderful to participate with so many different artists I admire! Although, probably the biggest reason for joining was simply just because I felt it would be very fun.

Tell us a little bit about the artwork you contributed to the deck – how does the art tie in with the meaning behind the card?

How I interpreted my card, the Seven of Cups, was about the dreams and hopes. The theme of my card had to base around Rose’s alcoholism and depression arcs on the Pre-Retcon meteor journey. Upright, it means one has to stop dreaming and chase their ambitions. Reversed, one is dreaming too much, and it is starting to almost destroy them. I’m imagining the dreams to be being a good friends, intelligence, and trying to connect with her mother. She must recognize her problems rather than focusing on a dream of their nonexistence or else it will horribly harm her. I’m not the best at tying the art to the meanings I had in mind, so I hope I got the idea at least somewhat across haha!

How have you grown as an artist over the years and what has helped you grow?

I have grown very much from where I started, and hopefully will continue to do so! In large ways, the fandoms I have been in helped me develop my art, especially Homestuck.

What’s your process? Where do you find inspiration?

My process is quite simple. Sometimes I think of how I want to lay my piece out before, other times I go with the flow. It follows the process of sketch, flat colours, shade and light, merge everything to one layer and then render. I suppose Homestuck is my biggest inspiration, as well as my friends and sister.

What kind of impact has Homestuck had on your life and art?

This is extremely cheesy of me to say and I’m aware of this, but Homestuck means everything to me. It has allowed me to improve and grow my art skills - I drew more regularly, experimented, and became more confident with posting my art. Definitely my favourite effect of Homestuck on my life is my friends. I would never have met so many of them if not for HS, and I don’t know what I would do without many of them. There’s a million more effects but if I were to list them all I would be here all day!

What advice would you give to a younger you?

Read Homestuck earlier in your life!! In all seriousness though, don’t be afraid of risks so much. This includes small things as posting art you deem bad.

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laffinandlovin-blog · 4 years

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no one really asked me.

But I’m going to give my completely personal, at times split opinion on whether or not I feel like we are prepared to go back to school in the fall under the CDC guidelines. I speak only from my own experience and how it affects my hesitance to return in the fall. I speak as a teacher with 11 years of experience working with students with special needs (10 as a teacher), a daughter of a father with a compromised heart, an individual who struggles with mental illness trying to establish and navigate a new normal while still being safe, and as a person who has a fear of this virus one day and feels invincible the next. So as you can see, you’re going to get a few different perspectives here because I usually cannot make up my mind and value hearing opinions of others.

Before introducing my perspectives I’d like to make known my respect for the essential workers who have put their lives at risk every day to keep the people of our country able to get the things they need and even some things we just simply want for comfort during this time. Thank you for sharing your stories, for dancing in between shifts, answering questions, sharing good news, and bravely facing what I’ve heard most interviewed medical personal on the frontlines describe as the toughest experiences they have yet to face. With all of my sincerity, thank you.

1. Teacher Perspective: Based off of my population of students from last year, which was very similar to my population when I worked in Dorchester my 3rd and 4th years of teaching, I do not feel as though it is safe for students or staff to return to the classroom under the current guidelines. First, I’d like to say that I certainly would not like to be a member of the CDC or in any health or political leadership position that includes the decision of re-opening schools and setting the guidelines which must be followed. I do believe in my heart of hearts, that the CDC established guidelines that they believe will keep our children safest. I do not however feel as though these guidelines are realistic. For example, I worked in a classroom with four boys (5 and 6 year olds) with very significant behavioral, social, emotional, and academic needs. There were also minimum 3 adults in the room at any given time period. I cannot speak from the experience of a regular education teacher as I am unfamiliar with the all of the routines and procedures in need to make a class of that size work well (it’s been a few years since I’ve been an inclusion teacher). However, in my classroom, the success of the students often depended on their proximity to a helping adult (ie. cutting hand over hand for students who were in need of assistance to strengthen fine motor skills, handwriting practice, sitting closely to an adult to prevent leaving seats without permission, sitting at the same table during snack time to practice conversational skills, etc). Comparatively, we are privileged in the student:space ratio. I will argue that we do need that space, however that is another post. In that space, I have been urinated on, hit repeatedly, bit, and most frequently had spit flicked at me repeatedly. As a self-contained teacher, I know how to coach students through replacing those behaviors with more appropriate coping mechanisms. I do not know how to do so from 3-6feet away. I also cannot guarantee that my students are not going to threaten any danger to themselves or others in which I or another adult may need to interfere. The likelihood of transmissions would be very high in my classroom. I am aware that we are still learning a lot about this virus. On the news tonight, I heard that cases from adult to children are much more likely from child to child. This post does not have statistics. I started keeping a timeline for myself once school was dismissed. Things have changed so greatly that I have stopped keeping notes. I do not believe that we are being lied to by doctors. I believe we are getting the truth as it is known each day. Just understanding the definition of a virus is important. Does it change? How does it trick our cells into permeating their capsules?

Do I think our children need to continue their education during this pandemic? Absolutely. I do, however, believe that we need to take a different approach to teaching-whether we are back in the classroom or on this side of the screen. Just another reminder: I’m speaking solely from a mostly elementary special education background (with 1 year in 9th grade and 2 years in 6th grade). Many of the students I teach and will teach most likely are having a very hard time grasping the WHY of virtual education. Children are naturally inquisitive and this big thing they’re living through certainly is difficult for me to understand so I can understand why a parent recently reached out to me asking for support for her son who woke up crying one morning because he missed kindergarten. More than ever our children need social-emotional learning. Yes, the social part will be difficult without physical interaction but in the world that our children are growing up in, learning to be socially appropriate online is important as well. Does it replace basic human social skills? (ie. Greeting an adult. Introducing himself to a new classmate. Asking to borrow a toy. Politely declining an invitation to play. Knowing appropriate ways to hold a conversation with people of different ages and appearances than him.). Sure doesn’t. But we are teachers. It is our job to mold our instruction to meet the needs of our students. It’s Education 101. It’s also Special Education 101: differentiate and/or modify content to meet your student/s where they are. We’re not new to that. What most teachers are new to is being asked to put our health at risk in the classroom. Understandably so. So here’s where Ms. Lafferty shuts her pie

hole and Rachel chimes in.

Here’s a photo of my nephew and I FaceTiming at dinner just to break up the overwhelming number of words I didn’t know I was holding onto.

2. Personal Perspective: I go back and forth on what I think about being asked to go to work in the classroom during a pandemic. Currently I am teaching ESY remotely to my 4 boys and delivering in-person instruction to 1 pre-k student. I wear my mask and I sanitize my hands. He is expected to keep his mask on but it is incredibly difficult for a 4 year-old to concentrate when a mask is falling off his face. I don’t feel as though either of us are at-risk as his mom has been very open with me and I with her. I also take my temperature every morning. However, if I’m asymptomatic that doesn’t mean anything. I’m not as worried about myself getting sick. Perhaps I think I’m a bit invincible if I haven’t gotten the virus already. I had a conversation with a friend in May and he said, “Rach, how much of your life are you going to put on hold just in case something happens?”. We differ in just about every political area there is to have an opinion. But this struck a chord because it made me think a little harder. As someone who openly struggles with depression and anxiety, I often feel like I have not lived the past 16 years with the quality I would like to live the next 16. I’ve gone on dates. I flew across country to see my new niece that no one in my family was able to see due to the dangers of flying especially for fear of my dad contracting the virus. But my brother just had his first baby and his parents and siblings weren’t able to be a part of that experience. That’s just not fair. My dad has been in the hospital twice just in the month of June and what if he doesn’t get to see his granddaughter? “Well, Rach we could all die tomorrow. I could get hit by a car, so stop worrying.”, say the “practical” people in my life. Well, I’ll never stop worrying, so pick a new battle. There are a lot of great causes right now that need champions. Hop on one of those.

Nothing about this virus is fair. And I’m not a fan of the silver lining thing. I get it- there are great things happening and overall, the good that lives in people is outshining the bad. But quite frankly, some days it might feel like the opposite. There is no silver lining to losing someone you love-old or young, sick or healthy. Not in my experience anyway. Maybe I am just not a fan of masking the raw, often heartbreaking truth, with good as if one can replace the other rather than they can co-exist. I could go OFF about that.

Anywho, I feel very torn about going back to the classroom. Mostly because I feel like I have the least to lose. And I don’t mean this in a way that signifies that I don’t value my life. A close friend helped me evaluate that statement about having the least to lose. What I mean is that I don’t have a family of my own and I live alone and my parents are capable of taking care of themselves without my aid. I have masks and gloves and I am relatively healthy so from what we know right now, I am “low-risk” but that could change. I have friends who are expecting children, friends who need to be available for their parents’ care, friends who are high-risk for various health reasons, and friends who could potentially be bringing home the virus to their own families. I don’t have any of that so I almost feel like it would be selfish to not go back if teachers are needed. (This could be a controversial opinion but like I said-this is personal experience talking.). But I don’t want to be lauded a hero if I choose to go back. If I go back it will be my decision based on the needs of the students, how many students I’m with, and how likely we are to be a risk to the other.

I’m starting to ramble and my legs hurt from sitting cross-legged so long. So here’s another picture of a cute kid or dog or maybe both. Let’s see what I find.

Cute find, Rach. Linc and Ella and their cousin, Cassie.

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surveystodestressme · 6 years

Text

56.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 13

1201. Have you ever owned a record? nope. 1202. In some states people want to make it a requirement that creationism (god made the world) be taught alongside evolution in high school sciences classes. What do you think of this? i don’t really care either way. honestly if they would’ve had that taught in my school i would’ve hated it because i don’t believe in that kind of stuff 1203. Should evolution also be taught in religious establishments like church or temple? sure 1204. Can a person believe in creationism and in evolution at the same time? yeah

1205. You obviously like surveys since you are filling out a 5,000 question one. Do any of the following surveys sound interesting: The Doors/Jim Morrison Survey: The David Bowie Survey: The Beatles Survey: The Rocky Horror Survey: The Labyrinth Survey: The SLC Punk Survey: The birthday survey: So this is love, the survey: The heartache/break up survey: Creationism vs. Evolutionism Survey: Opinion Survey: World Trade Center Survey: Halloween Survey: Survey of Sin: How evil are you? Survey: The Roaring 20’s Survey: sure they all sound a little interesting Well, once, long ago, I created all those surveys. Now they are floating around in people’s diaries because the diary I had them in (Simply Surveys) was deleted due to disuse. 1206. Who did you get this survey from? Say one nice thing about the person you got this survey from: this girl who i follow. she picks out some pretty good surveys lol 1207. Here is a list of priorities… Love/sex Family Close friends School/learning Job/career Being true to yourself/self respect Honesty Aesthetics (beauty in the world) Creativity Patriotism Knowledge Wisdom Leading an exciting life Making a contribution to humanity Being rich Being famous Having power Justice/fairness World peace Accepting and understanding others Finding yourself Spirituality/religion Health Happiness What are your top three priorities from this list? happiness, self respect,and knowledge 1208. Out of that same list what are your BOTTOM 3 priorities? patriotism, being famous, and having power 1209. How many hours of TV do you watch in an average day? too many 1210. Do you want to have a car, a house and 2.5 kids? i have none of those lol 1211. What song, CD, or band is a ‘guilty pleasure’ for you (meaning you know it sucks but you like it anyway)? lol i like me some t swift from time to time 1212. If you were going to vote for a candidate for president and then you found out that the person you were going to vote for is HIV positive would that effect your vote and why? no??? their medical history is none of my concern 1213. Have you ever had an HIV test? nope 1214. What time do you: Get up in the morning: around 7-9 am Eat lunch: sometime around 2 pm Do something active during the day: randomly throughout the day Go to bed: 11 pm 1215. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? yes. 1216. When you hear the word ‘biker’ what kind of person do you think of? someone that has and rides a motorcycle 1217. Did your parents ever talk to you about sex? i mean, not really 1218. If your pet dies, you can now have it cloned for $50,000. How do you feel about this? nah i wouldn’t do it. it may be a clone but it wouldn’t be the same in my eyes. plus waaay too expensive 1219. Are you or would you be embarrassed about buying condoms? i’m not embarrassed about doing it 1220. Do any of your clocks make an odd noise or play a song when the hour strikes? nope. 1221. What are the things that make you go 'Hmmmm….’ (remember that song?)? idk 1222. Are you a sinner? yeah 1223. Are you naughty or nice? naughty 1224. Is belly-dancing sexy? it can be. 1225. What celebrity would you love to be able to dance with? morgan freeman 1226. What is your favorite comic book movie? kickass 1227. What movie would you recommend for couples to watch on Valentine’s day? my bloody valentine

1228. Besides when you were little how many people have seen you completely naked and who? my boyfriend, and a couple of my good friends 1229. Is sex something that should be treated casually? no. personally, i would only be comfortable having sex with someone i know very well and love 1230. Have you ever participate in an orgy? If no, would you ever consider it? i don’t think i'd want to 1231. What song is in your head right now? i don’t have one right now 1232. What was the best day of your life like? idk i’ve had plenty of good days 1233. What are you all about? my tattoo on wednesday 1234. You have won a contest where you get all these great prizes but you can only keep one for yourself and must give the others away to friends, family or whoever. Which one do you keep and who do you give the rest to: A $5,000 gift certificate to radio shack: Jack A brand new yellow jeep: my brother An all expense paid vacation for 2 to Italy: my sister and her wife Lunch with N'Sync: Mariann A lifetime supply of herbal essences shampoo: whitney A $1,000 check: me A palm pilot? Cayenne An autographed picture of Shakira: Breakfast with kid rock: angela A shirt once worn by Jonathan Davis: Jake One round of mini-golf with Sharon Osbourne: Parky and rebecca A phone call from Robert Smith: neeson??? he likes a lot of music artists (if that’s the robert smith i think it is) A brand new washer/dryer: my parents Free medical insurance for 1 year: my grandparents on my mums side 1235. Who do you think you might have known in a past life? idk a lot??? 1236. Do you take vitamins? no. 1237. Do you prefer fake or real flowers around the house? fake. real ones die so quick 1238. Sometimes roses are pink, yellow, white or red. If you give someone a rose, does its color change the meaning behind it as a gift? i hear that there is a meaning behind the colors of roses but idk what they are 1239. What’s the most deadly thing you can think of? drugs 1240. To-MAY-toes or to-MA-toes? first one 1241. Out of all your friends, family and the people you know who is the most: Intelligent: jack Happy: chandlyre Miserable: mariann Easily influenced: cassie Cranky: corben Bitchy: denise Evil: cayenne Nice: my mother 1242. What’s the best live musical performance you ever saw? twenty one pilots 1243. Have you ever had a 'pregnancy scare’? yes. 1244. Kelly Osbourne or Madonna’s version of “Pappa Don’t Preach”? idk 1245. Can you change a tire? yeah 1246. Have you ever put your fist through a wall? i’m not strong enough 1247. When do you feel the most relaxed and able to be yourself? when i’m in the bath or a shower 1248. Do you have a place that is your own where you won’t show anyone else? i used to but not really anymore 1249. Are you a part of any teams or clubs? nope 1250. Is cheerleading a sport? yeah i think so 1251. Do you believe that people should be able to choose death for themselves if they want to end their lives? i wouldn’t say in a form like suicide. but if someone is already dying and wants the plug to be pulled, i can understand that 1252. Is there anything you morally object to? idk off the top of my head 1253. What would you never do for money? have sex with someone 1254. Applebees, the Outback, or TGI Friday’s? applebees 1255. Which do you drink the most: juice, soda, milk, or water? soda 1256. What sport do you like to watch the most? hockey 1257. What sport do you like to play the most? bowling 1256. Do you write poetry? nope 1257. Are you aggressive? i used to be 1258. Have you ever fallen from grace? don’t think so. 1259. Does it bother you when a band you like gets really popular? i don’t really mind except for the fact that their songs are on the radio all the time 1260. Has anyone ever won you a stuffed animal? If yes, did you name it after the person who won it for you? i don’t think so 1261. Can you go one week without cursing at all? i don’t think so 1262. What’s the best candy? kit kat 1263. Can you lick your own nose? i think so 1264. What song would you like to hear spontaneously in a public place (like a store)? cotton eye joe 1265. Do you ever make others feel unwanted? i don’t try to 1266. Do you think you have ever made others feel unwanted without realizing you were doing it? i hope not. 1267. Are you very sensitive to what other people are feeling and how they will react to certain things? i used to be but i try not to be like that anymore 1268. Have you ever climbed a tree? yeah 1269. Do you feel somehow different when the moon is full? no??? 1270. Who do you know that talks a lot but never really says anything? lots of people 1271. Is world peace possible? i think so but it’s a far way out 1272. Who do you know that is making a huge life mistake yet you can’t stop them? What’s the mistake? mariann. she keeps going back to the same piece of shit guys who treats her awfully and it annoys the crap out of me because she deserves so much better 1273. Do you plan to own a home or rent an apartment for most of your life? i want to own a home eventually 1274. Would you enjoy going to a strip bar to see strippers (of whatever sex you find appealing)? sure, idk 1275. Would you ever consider stripping in a sexual way for money? i used to want to do that lol 1276. Would you ever consider being a nude model for an artistic life drawing class for money? no. 1277. What are 2 goals that you have? make everyone around me happy and have myself be happy 1278. What are 2 negative traits that you have? i procrastinate and sometimes i’m too harsh 1279. Will these negative traits stop you from achieving your goals? yeah 1280. Everyone knows that you are nice, fun, creative, and good but what are 4 other positive traits that you have? hard working, funny, intelligent, and driven 1281. How often do you daydream about your wedding day? not very often 1282. If you were hiring someone for a job but could only ask him or her 3 questions in the interview what would you ask? what do you want to get out of this job? how would you contribute to this company? what are your goals? 1283. If you were interviewing someone for the position of your new friend but could only ask 3 questions, what would they be? what do you like to do for fun? what kind of music do you listen to? are you okay with constant venting and crying? 1285. Wholesome - Conducive to sound health or well being; salutary: simple, examples: wholesome food; a wholesome climate, Promoting mental, moral, or social health: example: wholesome entertainment. Do you enjoy wholesome activities (sports, cooking, beach, family time, zoo, museums, etc.)? If yes what wholesome activity do you enjoy the most? Are you a wholesome person? oh absolutely!! i love going to museums and shit like that 1286. When was your first kiss and what was it like? well, if you count truth or dare, it was the summer before freshman year and i kissed 2 girls. but if that doesn’t count it was a guy named jacob, and it was outside of the movie theater after we saw a movie and i was a freshman. it was ok 1287. Are you quiet and shy? i’m not shy but i’m quiet 1288. Are you bitchy, cranky, whiny, miserable, depressed, needy, mean, flakey, shallow, obnoxious, inconsiderate, nervous, and/or stuck up? i’m cranky and bitchy a lot lol i’m nervous a lot too but more like anxious 1289. Do you come off any of these ways even if you aren’t really like that? i’m sure i do 1290. Are you loud and unfriendly? i’m loud sometimes but i think i’m pretty friendly 1291. Can a positive attitude/good personality make up for someone being less than beautiful? absolutely 1292. Can being totally beautiful and hot make up for a negative attitude/bad personality? absolutely not 1293.What are you seeking? happiness 1294. Could you see yourself as a future nun/monk? lol no 1295. Would you rather have a baby or get a pet? get a pet, definitely 1296. What mistake do you repeat over and over? procrastinating 1297. What do you think of the restaurant Hooters? they have good food and i get served by beautiful women in skimpy clothes. i mean, i’m not complaining 1298. What are 5 traits that make someone ugly? rudeness, egotistical, stupidity, ignorance, and incompetence 1299. Do you hate when people tell you to smile? yes 1300. Do you like the writing of Douglas Adams? idk them.

#quiz #questions #bored #survey

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chocolate-brownies · 5 years

Link

Right now, I can feel the tight squeeze of stress in my stomach. This morning, I got a call from a close friend needing support, which prevented me from starting this article. At any moment, I expect one of my coworkers to email me asking for help with a last-minute assignment. And I’m set to leave my desk early for a dentist appointment, after which I’ll rush home to cook a late dinner.

I’m under time pressure—and I know I’m not alone. If you’re a woman, or a single parent, or practically anyone living in today’s go-go-go American society, you probably are, too. When researchers surveyed Americans before 2011, about half said they almost never had time on their hands and two-thirds said they sometimes or always felt rushed (though a more recent study suggests things may be improving a bit).

As researcher Cassie Mogilner and her colleagues write in a 2012 paper, “With waking hours largely consumed by work, precious minutes remain for the daily list of to-dos, including exercise, cleaning, and socializing with friends and family.”

At first glance, the issue seems straightforward. Time pressure comes down to a lack of time, right? Well, partly. It’s the feeling that we don’t have enough time to do what we want to do—but it turns out that feelings and enough and wants are somewhat subjective.

From 1965 to 2003, the average American workweek actually declined by three hours, while leisure time increased. And in many places in the developed world, the workweek has gotten even shorter since then. In one study of more than 7,000 working Australians, researchers declared that time pressure is an “illusion.” They estimated how much time is necessary for basic living—hours of paid work, housework, and personal care—and compared it to how much free time people had in their actual schedules. It turns out there was a big discrepancy, which was most extreme for households without children and smallest for single parents.

“Those who feel most overworked—those who have least ‘free time’—largely do it to themselves,” the researchers wrote. In other words, we could theoretically spend fewer hours making money, vacuuming and washing dishes, or cooking and eating, and we’d get by without getting overwhelmed.

Although you may not want to subsist just above the poverty line or give your kids as little attention as possible, the broader point is important: Tight-squeezy time stress has to do with the things we value and the time we devote to them. And, other research suggests, it also relates to our attitudes and mindsets about time. Rather than always blaming the clock, we can find some roots of the time crunch deep in our own psychology. Here are some scientific insights to help you make a distinction between real stopwatch pressure and the unnecessary pressure you might be putting on yourself.

Four Ways to Take Back Your Time

1. Ask yourself: What makes my time fly?

In a 2004 study of nearly 800 working people in Ohio, researchers were confronted with a puzzle.

When women did more than 10 hours of housework a week, they felt more pressed for time and in turn more depressed. But when men did the same amount of housework, they didn’t. A similar pattern appeared for volunteering: Men who volunteered more were less depressed, but women got time stressed and didn’t seem to experience as much benefit.

The explanation that the researchers came up with, bolstered by people’s accounts of how they spent their time, was that men tend to do more enjoyable housework and volunteering. They cut the grass and coach soccer teams; they get into flow and feel a sense of accomplishment. Women, on the other hand, are often occupied with small, repetitive daily chores and service work: less cheering and high-fiving and more trying not to fall asleep at school meetings.

Unsurprisingly, a day packed with somewhat engaging activities feels less busy and stressful than a day of drudgery. If time flies (in a good way) when you’re having fun, it also seems to fly (in a bad way) when you’re not. This subjective element might have created more of a sense of time pressure in women who participated in the study, even if men’s activities equaled or exceeded theirs in hours.

One study found that people who are more passionate, who aspire to do things that matter to them at work, aren’t as rushed and harried as others.

A similar effect takes place at work. In one study, researchers surveyed more than 2,500 employees at a technology company and a financial services company. They found that people who are more passionate, who aspire to do things that matter to them at work, aren’t as rushed and harried as others.

If you feel short on time, you might simply not be enjoying the activities that fill up your schedule. Life can be like that sometimes, but if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, it might help to add one more thing to your day—something that keeps you engaged.

2. Stop competing with yourself

Why does passion seem to free up our time? The researchers who observed this phenomenon wanted to discover what was really going on.

They found a clue when they asked employees about how conflicted or aligned their goals were. Employees lacking in passion said that their goals were competing with each other, fighting for time and attention; for example, the drive to do well at work might make it hard to get home for dinner with the family. But passionate employees were different: They saw their goals as supporting each other. After all, healthy home cooking and family bonding might give them more energy and motivation tomorrow.

So, time pressure isn’t just about how enjoyable our activities are, but also how well they fit together in our heads. One study found that people who simply think about conflicting goals—like saving money vs. buying nice things, or being healthy vs. eating tasty foods—feel more stressed and anxious, and in turn shorter on time.

Knox College professor Tim Kasser, an expert on materialism who coauthored a seminal paper on time scarcity, once joked, “If every research project that I’m currently working on right now was a cat living in my house, it would be very clear that I had a problem.” If your to-do list feels like a herd of hungry felines, all in competition for your one can of food, it’s no wonder you’re overwhelmed.

While we may freely choose some tasks on our plate, others are largely the product of our society or culture, says Australian National University professor Lyndall Strazdins, who has spent the last decade trying to show how time scarcity matters for individual and public health. For example, being a good suburban mom today seems to include chauffeuring your kids around the neighborhood to countless sports and hobbies.

“If you don’t do that, then you feel you’re not living up to one set of norms, but if you don’t do [something else], you’re also not living up to another set of norms,” says Strazdins. “You’ve got 24 hours…and you get to a point where you just can’t expand your day.” If you feel a lot of inner conflict about a task, then you might consider just letting it go.

3. Change your calendar view

Often when we’re caught in a time conflict, it’s because of some external obligation: Daycare pickup runs up against an important meeting; your work shift starts at 9, but the bus is late. Time pressure goes hand in hand with feeling you’re not in control of your own schedule.

In one 2007 study, researchers interviewed 35 low-income working mothers who were caring for at least one child. They asked the moms to talk about how they spent the previous day, and how they manage to feed their families when it’s hectic.

The researchers were able to pinpoint different ways of managing time—some of which were more successful than others.

The least successful was the “reactive” style, where mothers didn’t feel in control of their days. All those mothers felt time-scarce, beholden to the clock, unable to accomplish everything they wanted to. In contrast, mothers who had an “active” time-style had some success at scheduling, managing, and structuring their days. They felt slightly more in control of their own time and a bit less time-stressed than the reactive group.

“People often complain of being in a time bind not only because they are objectively busy, but also because they perceive a lack of control over their time,” researcher Ashley V. Whillans and her colleagues write. That perception may be based on our life circumstances—because we have non-negotiable work hours or babies who aren’t fond of sleeping through the night—but it can also be part of our psychology.

According to research, rather than experiencing life as masters of their own fate, some people tend to feel like they’re at the mercy of external forces (and thus less resilient to stress and more depressed). If this describes you, it may be harder for you to seize back a sense of control over your schedule.

In that case, try to keep your eyes on the prize and do what you can to gain a sense of control over your time. Take little steps, like optimizing your to-do list or practicing saying “no” to people who ask for favors.

4. Revalue your down time

One last piece of the time-pressure puzzle is money, and that one is complicated. If you work multiple jobs or can’t pay for a babysitter, you’re bound to feel short on time. But some research has found that people with high incomes feel particularly short on time—and people who get richer become even more harried than they were before. Even just feeling rich—when your savings is on the higher end of the scale on a form you’re filling out—can make you feel more rushed.

“In a society like ours, the go-to answer [for happiness] is make more money, buy more stuff,” says Kasser. “What we’re trying to say is, well, no; what people actually need is more time.”

Why would an abundance of money feel like a scarcity of time? One possibility is that rich people have so much they could do with their money but only a handful of hours outside work to do it, suggest researchers Daniel Hamermesh and Jungmin Lee. So many expensive hobbies to pursue, so little time!

But another possibility is that they simply put more value on their time. If each hour they’re not working is $100 they could have earned, they better use that hour well.

As economists would remind us, when something is scarce, its value goes up—but the opposite is also true. When something is valuable (like time), we perceive it to be scarcer.

As economists would remind us, when something is scarce, its value goes up—but the opposite is also true. When something is valuable (like time), we perceive it to be scarcer. In one experiment, researchers asked 67 students to engage in some mock consulting work, for which they would “charge” $1.50 or $0.15 per minute. The students who were charging $1.50 felt more pressed for time—even though they weren’t actually going to earn that money! In another experiment, when people were asked to calculate their hourly wage, high earners felt even more time-starved.

“Feelings of time pressure are not just a function of individual differences, the quantitative amount of time spent working, or even people’s working conditions, although these factors are obviously important,” write researchers Sanford E. DeVoe and Jeffrey Pfeffer. “Time pressure is at least partly a result of psychological processes and the perception of time’s value.”

This is all good news and bad news. It means that our efforts to optimize and schedule, plan and streamline, might not be getting to the heart of the problem. But it also means that we may have more leverage than we think, even if we can’t manufacture spare hours to call a friend or get to the dentist. Time pressure is the uncomfortable gap between how we wish we spent our time—and how we think that would make us feel—and how we’re spending it and feeling now. With that in mind, we just might be able to find some room to breathe.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, one of Mindful’s partners. View the original article.

The post Take Back Your Time appeared first on Mindful.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

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ponytownbirdsblog · 5 years

Text

Interview with Marble Pie

Interview by Cassie of The Ponytown Birds

Cassie: Now, we have only a couple of questions about your sister.

Cassie: If you could answer them that would be great.

Cassie: Now, about a week ago is when Pinkie Pie was reportedly seen doing the crime. What was she doing five days ago during the night?

Marble: *simply shrugs and begins to clasp at her foreleg*

Cassie: So another thing we found weird is that when you answered us earlier you mentioned a griffon. The issue is that we did not report on it being a griffon. What is your explanation?

Marble: *says nothing, rubbing along her foreleg meekly in response to the question*

Cassie: If you need something to write with we will gladly supply it.

Marble: *nods softly*

Cassie: *gives an extra pencil and paper*

Marble: *takes the handed utensils and writes something*

Cassie: And what does this say?

Marble: (everything she says is written on the paper) "Sorry for the inconvenience"

Cassie: It's perfectly fine! Now, what is your explanation of mentioning a griffon?

Marble: "She asked us what's a griffon's favorite food as a joke, I don't remember the punchline"

Marble: "I told you she didn't ask us about how to kill one"

Cassie: Interesting...

Cassie: Then why would you specifically mention a rope? Because that's how the death happened.

Marble: "She needed rope to tie down a tarp over the hole in the attic"

Cassie: Hmm... Well...

Cassie: I think we're gonna wrap it up here. Any last words?

Marble: "My sister never hurt anypony, and if she did I'm sure it wasn't on purpose... you have my word on that"

Cassie: Thank you.

Cassie: This is Cassie reporting in and signing off.

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datinglove07-blog-blog-blog · 5 years

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The cost of replacing an employee – it’s more than you think

New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/awesome/the-cost-of-replacing-an-employee-its-more-than-you-think/

The cost of replacing an employee – it’s more than you think

When you’re an HR manager, you know this drill all too well: Sally walks into your office one day and deposits herself in a seat across from your desk with a sigh.

“Cassie, ” she says to you, “Joe simply dedicated his notice. We gotta get started on filling its own position, like, yesterday.”

You nod. Because Joe is( was) an incredible performer, this is a big loss for the company. Not to mention, it means you’ll have to set aside some extra work to pull together all the resources and people needed to fill its own position quickly.

Why rapidly? It’s not just because Sally needs to fill the position, like, yesterday. It’s also because the overall impact to your company’s bottom line is such that you really need to taken any steps right away. Replacing an employee is a process, but the cost of replacing an employee constructs it worse.

Consider these scary statistics, for example :P TAGEND $14,936

According to SHRM, the average monetary impact of a hiring process was $4,425 in 2017. Guess about it: when an employee foliages, is fired( that’s worse- see below ), is promoted, or anything else that opens up a vacancy that needs to be filled, your business has to spend virtually five grand to fill that new position.

There are numerous costs associated here: advertising the new posture, interviewing, background checks, skills appraisals, and all of the work hours invested in each step of the hiring process. Not to mention, for every single day that passes, a business is losing the value that the previously filled stance has brought to the bottom line, plus all the tangibles and intangibles of onboarding, getting them comfy in their new stance, getting others into a comfortable working relationship with the new hire- those metrics aren’t even taken into account here.

This, of course, depends on the role and the competence of that position. Low-skilled stances are quicker to fill and are not as costly, while highly skilled positions customarily have a longer time to hire. And with the higher wages and values that come with a higher skill set, the costs grow: the same study finds that the average cost of filling an executive stance is $14,936.

94 days

Statistics show that time to fill can be as long as 94 days for highly skilled workers such as scientists and researchers. That’s a long time without someone who’s utterly integral to your business operations and, ultimately, your bottom line. Skilled production positions in manufacturing can take an average of 70 days to fill. The list goes on. People don’t fill positions within a few days- that just doesn’t happen.

You may be saying: “Well, that’s merely in manufacturing. I’m not in manufacturing, so I don’t have to worry about that.” Consider that you might be wrong. The median time to fill, globally, for a tech-based stance is 62 days. The average time to hire a hospitality employee is nearly 21 days, with that number growing to 45 days for those in the finance sector.

That’s a long, long time for a vacancy. A long, long time to go without your head technologist, your master chef, or even your general accountant. For a smaller business, the effects can be debilitating.

14 calls and interviews

Globally, the average number of calls and interviews per tech role hire is 14. That’s 14 different times you’ve interviewed potential candidates before hiring one. That doesn’t even account for the cancellations and no-shows. Nor does it include the time and energy that has gone into coordinating an interview with multiple parties- never mind with people in different locations- only to have it delayed again and again.

That’s a lot of logistical coordinating on the part of everyone in the hiring team. Many frustrating hours are expended by the hiring manager who feels like they’re embroiled in an endless online dating losing game. A plenty of questions from colleagues: “Any luck getting a replacement? Think we’ll have a new manager soon? ” Add all that to your own lost work hours that could be invested in other HR things, and you get the idea of how that adds to the cost of replacing an employee.

One hundred million dollars

No one is perfect. Not even the candidate you’ve hired after a lengthy recruitment process in which they passed the skills evaluation with flying colors, wowed hiring administrators with their charisma during a number of in-person interviews, and presented a resume stacked with amazing academic and professional qualifications.

The reality is, bad hires happen, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the work description wasn’t absolutely accurate. Maybe some crucial questions were omitted- like the candidate’s managerial and problem-solving capacities. Perhaps they’re just really good at looking good, but not that great at actually doing the job.

So … you get rid of that underperformer and fill the position with, hopefully, a better performer. Forget the costs associated with the recruitment process: consider the costs associated with a bad hire. It’s pretty high; like $840,000 high. Let’s maximize the scariness of this: Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh famously said in an interview that the cost of bad hires had dinged his company to the tune of $100 million. That’s the kind of money that most companies don’t even see in their lifetimes.

Imagine if you had hired the right person instead of the wrong person for the job. The only cost of replacing federal employees, then, would be the first statistic in this list: ballpark $5,000 for the whole thing.

?????

Yes, those five question mark are intentional, for good reason. You could take all the rulers and measuring devices in the world, but you still wouldn’t be able to accurately measure some of the consequences of a task vacancy. We’re talking about the overall impact a vacancy can have on your remaining staff.

Consider: when someone like Joe leaves, and it takes 94 days to replace him, that’s three months where your colleagues in the office are left wondering what’s going to happen. That’s three months of your colleagues picking up the extra work or rushing to fill the power vacuum left behind by Joe, potentially fostering a toxic work environment. Three months of potential overwork, leading to sick days, burnout, disillusion and low staff morale- which has the compounding effect of leading to other departures.

Look at Brenda, for example, who had been working alongside Joe for years, but now was asked by Sally to pick up Joe’s work “just for a while, until we get someone new”. Wait a minute, Brenda supposes, why am I not being considered for Joe’s job? Plus, she has been assured time and time again by both Sally and HR- yes, that’s you- that the position is likely to be filled very quickly. And now, she’s entering her third month of all that extra work without extra pay, and she’s get fed up and feeling like her company doesn’t value her contributions.

So, ultimately, Brenda sets in her notice. Sally strolls into your office again, and plops herself into the well-worn seat across from you. “Cassie, I’m in a bit of a pickle here. Brenda’s going to the competition.”

Now you have to find someone to replace Brenda, on top of all the efforts you’re trying to put into finding a replacement for Joe.

That’s going to be expensive. You need to fine-tune your process- is not merely to speed up time to fill, but also to find good candidates who will stay loyal to your company in the long run- in short, reducing employee turnover. That calls in a whole new decide of challenges: onboarding, employee involvement, employee retention, learning& development, on-the-job training, etc. And all the while keeping your leaky staff ship afloat.

What are you going to do? Consider Workable’s recruiting software, for starters. Whenever you’re in a bind, wanting to find qualified candidates fast and evaluate them effectively, there’s a Workable feature to supporting you, from our range of sourcing alternatives, including targeted task advertising campaigns and built-in interview scorecards. And if you want to construct the business occurrence to your boss, we’ve got you covered too. Your company- colleagues, boss, and bottom line all together- will thank you for it.

Bora Kim, Workable’s Corporate Strategy Analyst, contributed to this report.

The post The cost of replacing federal employees- it’s more than you think appeared first on Recruiting Resource: How to Recruit and Hire Better.