#one of those moments where i'm rlly stressing out over everything again

[noxtivagus]

sorry

[wheeboo]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny. ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

okay i received this ask game 3 times so JDFKLS i guess i shall do it rn . i will be doing my moots svt biases <3 rlly wish i could do a lot more moots but this took more brain power than it needed 😭😭

@slytherinshua -> joshua

first thought was cute lil teacher x teacher couple!! maybe he's a new hire as a music teacher and him and zanna both have a lil meet ugly at first in the staff room (one of them spilling coffee on the other or something dsjfklfsd) but its all full of shy smiles and fumbled apologies, and joshua smoothly gives her his # with the purpose of starting over 😍

@etherealyoungk -> hoshi

the classic case of the class president x class clown. skye our big brain queen is just trying her best to sort through all these plans and plans for school while hoshi keeps curiously meddling in her business, trying to get close with her by proposing these weird n funny ideas at meetings (even tho he's not in the student council???) that don't make any sort of sense, and overall just wanting to make her smile cuz he may or may not have a tiny tiny crush on her. and skye may or may not like him having around...

@roziesmei -> jeonghan

love at first sight. not the biggest fan of this trope but hello who wouldn't fall head over heels over this man at first glance? maybe mimi is out and about running some errands to the store, and as she's about to grab for the door, another hand meets hers, and i WONDER who it is!!!! the two of them gaze at each other for a second, and maybe the world feels a lil brighter and a lil warmer in those few moments, before maybe jeonghan pulls away and holds the door open for her. she spends her entire time shopping thinking abt him wondering if they'll ever cross paths again (they do)

@bookyeom -> seokmin

i love the whole concept/trope of exchanging letters. maybe leslie gets received this Very long letter detailing something she has no idea what is and its signed sorry from me & my dog, lee seokmin. does she know who lee seokmin is? absolutely not. but is she very curious why he seems so STRESSED in this letter over his dog accidentally stealing a stranger's pair of socks from the laundromat? yes

@welcometomyoasis -> seungcheol

ngl the whole enemies to lovers arc from rival families has always been a concept in the back of my mind and i've ALWAYS envisioned something for cheol for it so here you go shu 😭!! and perhaps there's some forced proximity involved, where they both become reluctant allies for some overly complicated business reasons and realise 'maybe we aren't exactly enemies after all...'

@haecien -> jun

fake dating!! maybe cien accidentally says to his group of friends that he has a partner but like... who is it ?? and so he gets jun to play as his fake boyfriend for the time being and it's this whole cute mess but yeah they're both sorta falling for each other. i can imagine this whole cute prom scene where they are each other's dates and this cute slow dancing scene... yeah you get i'm going with this i think lmao

@planetkiimchi -> minghao

strangers to friends to lovers!! but it's the most natural, sorta slow burn ever. it's kinda like reading your favourite comfort book with your favourite comfort couple where they get together and it's like THE standard ?! they're both communicative with each other, understand each other's boundaries, etc. bonus for the plot since they're both dancers and meet each other for the first time at practice, and it kinda just blossoms from there :)

@blue-jisungs -> wonwoo

a very very cute office romance. axe may be like a new intern at this workplace and is nervous asf abt everything, but she gets assigned this very handsome man with the power of glasses in his eyes to help her around and get adjusted. but even after settling in axe really tries her best to get close with wonwoo. he's a little reserved, composed, maybe a bit cold at first, but it's enough to cause some gossip to float around the office hehe. one thing leads to another, and they're both trying to hide their relationship from everyone else (but they all know anyway)

[mang0tang00]

hi, if alright, can u maybe do a viktor scenario where his s/o always says "yes" to everything and Viktor finds it concerning sooner or later?And they tell him that their feelings aren't valid and that's why!Ty!(I just rlly love angst, but u don't have to do this if u don't want to!)

Scenario: You have a hard time saying no to anyone.

Viktor x Nb!Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warning: description of panicking, panic attacks, description of anxiety, angst

God, your week has been stressful. All these projects decided to take up your free time as well as skipping nights of sleep for Research. You finally have time to relax-

You hear one of your friends come and walk up to you with Tickets in their hands.

“Y/n!! I got some Tickets to one of those fancy plays!”

“Aren’t those extremely expensive?…”

“Yeah but, I was able to Save up for us to go!”

“Let me Check if I have anything planned…”

As you dig through your bag for your calendar. You begin to tense. You didn’t want to go because all you wanted to do was rest and take a bath and spend the night with Viktor, if possible. But he might not even be back tonight so it wouldn’t hurt to go. You haven’t given yourself attention though, you had a talk with Viktor about taking care of yourself already. You don’t want to anger or worry him again, but this can be a nice night. You hated plays though, it was too boring and most of the catastrophes can be revealed in the First Act. But they had been saving up for both of you to go, you can't say no to them. Taking your calendar out of your bag you look through the pages and check if anything is happening and as you suspected, Nothing.

“Oh! Would you look at that… I'm Free!…”

“Great! Dress nice and I’ll Come get you so we can head over. I heard there’s supposed to be a really cute actor playing one of the main roles” you smile softly. They were so excited, no way you could say no to them. You’ll just have to push off your self care day to another weekend. Now you just have to tell Viktor. Walking home with the ticket in your hand, you begin to regret the decision you just made. You finally had a weekend to yourself and to spend time with Viktor. Getting home you collapsed onto the couch and grabbed the pillow and yelled. As you were yelling into the pillow you felt a hand on your shoulder. You quickly turn around and smack the person with a pillow and yelp. You hear a thump and look at who you hit, it was Viktor.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry Vik!” You hear him groan as he rubs the side of his face.

“You’re stronger than you look…” He mumbles.

“You scared me! Did I hit you hard?”

“I’m okay but why were you screaming into a pillow?”

“Oh um… no reason but I didn’t expect you to be home…”

“Well I started taking the weekends off to spend more time with you.”

“Aw thats sweet-” you remembered you agreed to go to the dumb play,” we can hang out tonight if you’re still awake my friends wants to go to a play with me tonight.”

“But- I thought you hated plays?...”

“I do but they're my friend and it's super expensive and I don’t want them to go to waste!” You smile nervously hoping he doesn’t over analyze you after the last incident.

“Alright, I’ll be up when you get back.” You nod and go to get ready.

That was a few months ago when things were easier and more manageable. You hadn’t been able to say no to everyone and now you dug yourself your own grave. You wanted to help Heimerdinger with his projects that he was so excited about. He gave you so many opportunities and chances at a better life, you couldn’t turn him down even if that meant fewer moments to spend with Viktor. Then your friend needed help on their assignments and projects even though you had your own to work on. You couldn’t say no to them, they have been there for you for so long. They helped you so much and it didn’t feel right saying no. Here you are now opening the door to yours and Viktor's apartment on the verge of collapsing. Your mind was exhausted from everything you agreed to do. You drop your bag to the floor and hold onto the door frame to take your shoes off. You started to feel your eyes become heavy standing there, you then realized you hadn’t even started your own project. You mentally decided to take a small nap before doing anything else. Then there was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me (friends name)!”

You mentally groan and take a deep breath. Opening the door you smile and look at them.

“What are you doing here?...”

“Oh, I was wondering if you could help me?”

“With what?”

You didn’t realize Viktor was behind you listening to the conversation. Your exhaustion is evident on your face and the awareness of your surroundings was not good at the moment.

“Oh with my project!”

“But didn’t we just work on it?”

“Yes but you agreed to helping again for a few more hours”

“Oh yeah- sorry I forgot, let me just get my things.”

Viktor decides to cut in,

“Actually me and Y/n are busy tonight, they promised me it was a date night.”

“Oh-” your friend looked startled by his interruption, “ sorry I'll come back another night then.”

Your friend leaves and once they are out of ear shot, Y/n looks at Viktor.

“Why’d you do that they needed my help-”

“You’ve been saying yes to everyone who needs your help.”

“No I haven’t”

“You have and it's concerning that you can't put your foot down.”

“I can-”

“No, my dear. You can’t, you were just about to agree to go help your friend even when you're exhausted! You didn’t even notice me when I was right in front of you.”

“So, I'm tired because I just have a lot to do.”

“And you have a lot to do because you didn't say no to your friend and heimerdinger!”

You go to respond to his remark but you stop yourself. He’s right. You just feel so bad saying no because of how much everyone's helped you, you feel the need to repay them or to feel useful in some way to them. Everytime you wanted to say no you couldn’t. The words would get caught in your throat, you’d begin to tense up whilst your body temperature began to rise. Shame took over you after realizing you were too scared to say no. Everytime you said no to the person they would get mad, you didn’t want to lose the only people in your life because of saying no too much. Viktor saw you begin to fidget with the bottom of your shirt. Your shoulders rose trying to hide yourself from his eyes. The silence wasn’t bearable anymore so you confessed all your feelings,

“You’re right Viktor, I don’t say no because I want to feel useful to the people in my life. They have always helped me and have always been there for me. I can’t just not help them, that would be selfish and mean. Plus it’s just a few things I’m helping with. I want to say no but I feel ashamed for even thinking of denying someone help. I’d do anything for anyone in my life to be happy even if I have to forfeit my own happiness. It’s how it's always been… with my friends at least… “

The words were spewing out like vomit. You feel yourself breathing heavier and the shame rises in your throat. The bile forms a lump as you stare at the floor.

“I’m exhausted Vik but if I can push my exhaustion out further to see my friends happy even if they’ll replace me- I’m at least useful to them in some way… “

Your eyes slowly trail up from Viktors feet to his face. You looked at his expression, he looked shocked, sad, concerned, and mad all at once. His anger wasn’t at you but at the people who were using you. He walks closer and hugs you tightly. Your body weight leaning onto him as exhaustion takes over. You both gently sit on the floor as you hide from him in his arms.

“Y/n, you are worth so much more than you think. You are one of the kindest people I have ever encountered in Piltover. Saying no should always be an option for you no matter the person or circumstance. You are worth more than just the help you can provide and shouldn’t feel obligated to say yes to everything. People are vile and would use your niceness to their advantage. I mean look at you now, you’re exhausted to the point you couldn’t even stand. You are exhausting yourself and it's worrying. I know you want to help people but you need to take care of yourself as well. There are also no if, and’s, or but’s to this because you’re my partner and I need you. I love you for who you are Y/n not what you could provide or give me or help me with, my love for you runs much deeper than that.”

You sigh but it comes out shaky. A tear rolls down your cheek. The shame you had been feeling subsided as you lay in his arms. Sometimes Viktor could be a bit harsh and blunt but it helps you see reality much clearer than when your mind is clouded by your emotions. He is the person that you needed to help ground you. You couldn’t ask for anyone better than the one who's willing to stick through these rough weeks with you.

[toges-wife]

The Way You Left

An: hey! I know I haven't posted in a while, it honestly had been a very stressful month? But yeah as I said before, I was just thinking about opening a wattpad account, hopefully soon!

Warnings: Don't read this if you are sensitive to topics such as cheating and murder. I'd also would definitely appreciate if you are under 15 to not interact. But it's rlly up to you.

Notes: the son in the fanfic got cursed speech, that's why he can interact with Toge as any other person from the inumaki clan yk.

Parings: Toge x fem!reader

Word count: 774 words in total.

All interactions are appreciated!

You just couldn't believe how Toge's parents agreed on your marriage with him. It was stressful meeting them since you had to make a good impression.

After you left, Toge immediately rushed to ask about how they thought about you and everything. He couldn't be happier when they agreed on the marriage.

It wasn't so long till you got a message from him saying that his parents agreed! You were like the happiest human alive at that moment!

Toge just sat there crying remembering all of the memories. Why would you cheat on him? No you are definitely a different person than you were before.

Everyday you constantly fight with him at a point where you just yelled at him, “Toge! I've been seeing another man! A man who could actually afford a good life for me!”.

Those words where hurtful. Only for his response to be “leave” he was devastated. You were the one who didn't allow him to work. You were the one who was supposed to afford a good life for both of you and your child.

After you left he immediately started crying remembering the day when you were in love with him. The day when you threw a whole party to celebrate him getting out of the hospital.

It was just hard for him to accept that you've been seeing another guy. What's even worse is how he was supposed to word it to his son.

Toge just didn't do anything for the next couple of days. He just sat there in the same room where you promised him that you will love him forever.

He was lost. He looked at his son who was concerned about him then saw your face in him. “son come here” he said hugging him. “everything will be alright dad!” he hugged him back.

That was a new chapter for both of them. Toge started getting to know some few other girls but yet, his parents didn't approve on a one. He just gave up!

It wasn't so long till Toge started partying and getting some new girl each day home. Your son got sick of his behaviour. Yet he knows it must be hard for his father since he loved you lots. He even still sees his father cry while holding your photo sometimes.

Once Toge was cooking with his son for his 10th birthday. It was the first time Toge had a son father relationship in the last five years. The son felt loved for once after you left. He started crying hugging Toge “Thank you Father” Toge hearing the word “father„ made his heart heal. “I'm sorry son.. I promise you to be a better father” Toge told his son.

Suddenly Toge receives a call from you. It was unexpected. He was hesitant. But yet, he picked up the phone. “Toge, do you remember me?” you said nervously. “shake” he replied “I'm at your door, I want to give our son a gift.”

Toge immediately ran towards the door telling his son to continue mixing. Suddenly he hears a gunshot and a bang on the door. He opened it immediately to find you laying there.

He felt like throwing up at that moment. “Toge, I'm sorry” you said reaching out for a paper in your pocket. Toge tried calling an ambulance yet another gunshot came near his head causing him to drop his phone.

He just couldn't do anything at that point. After he knew that someone was stalking you. You did all of that for their sake. He felt bad. He could have did something to protect you at least!

Now you were laying down outside of his door with blood all over the place. He cried like he never did before. His heart just shattered again!

You had flowers in your hands it got a note for apologising about what you said and telling him how much he means to you.. Etc... You just looked like an angel for him. You did all of this just to protect him.

After all, yes, you are the same person he loved and nothing changed that! Not even the girls he went out with. Non of them made him feel a bit like you did.

The son was waiting for his father to finish getting door as he heard all of the crying noises his father caused.

After that day, Toge couldn't get himself to get any other spouse. You were the one for him. He loves you. This fact won't change, even in a billion year, even after your death he kept thinking about you.

He truly just loved you.

If you enjoyed reading, I'd be thankful if you could check out my other account @inumakiwrites and my masterlist here

This fanfic is a work of @toges-wife don't copy or edit or translate since its just lame.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤