#remembering thinking analyzing is. so overwhelming

[noxtivagus]

sorry

[derpinette]

i have this "alter ego" that only exists in my head where essentially i am a fat sloppy drunk old fisherman with no loved ones living in misery & isolation & i often imagine myself as him especially in moments of patheticness

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.25

*just based on my personal observations, only take what resonates

Omg my first degree theory observation was wrong Danial Kwan has moon at 18 degree, a Virgo degree ! (My bad y’all I’m learning). I’ll say that he had to get a hold of his mental health while in Covid and his adult adhd diagnosis and that influenced the writing of everything all at once (Imma learn this lol, more studying must be done)

Ok better degree theory lol, the degree of your Venus and/or mars can show placements you attract. My Venus is at a cancer degree and I’ve dated a l o t of people with Cancer placements (an experience lol)

A guy’s Lilith can show that his sort of femme fatale attraction (type of girl that overstimulates him, makes him feel enamored but is also his weakness.) His Lilith placement can describe this femme in more detail. For Aries, a go getter that takes no shit (I believe @zeldasnotes said Lilith in Aries in a man’s chart is a strong indicator that he’s a feminist and I totally agree.); For Sagittarius she’d be untethered and have a great sense of humor and may be outside of his culture. For Aquarius she’d be idealized as a manic pixie dream girl, like quirky in a way he could never figure out. let me know if you all would like a whole post on this !

Only outer planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) in your 1st can give you an extra ordinary appearance and make you stand out quite a bit.

Your mars conjunct to someone’s sun can make them feel competitive with you. Venus on the other hand can make you put the sun person on a sort of pedestal and can make the relationship feel like you’re a fan of the sun person. Moon to someone’s sun can feel more at home and at ease.

Men with water Venuses seem to be super monogamous or like incapable of monogamy (which is fine lol, but be ethical about it and establish boundaries and don’t cheat yo)

12th house synastry is sticky asl, as soon as you moved on someone just appears on your mind out of nowhere, lotta hidden energy all tied up together; 8th house synastry is really intense but it’s often hard to build something stable out of the intensity. 4th house feels like home, but as someone with Uranus over their 4th, I associate this synastry with being unpredictable and chaotic in familiar way. 5th and 11th house synastry tends to be good long term. 5th house means you feel fun and creative and always excited together. And 11th house will mean that there’s a feeling of friendship underneath the passion that usually sustains the connection imo.

For all of the seriousness associated with Capricorn placements (especially suns) often focus on a lot on whimsy in their creative works, like it’s the outlet for a lot of their hidden optimism (Hayao Miyazaki, Nobuhiko Obayashi the director of Hausu).

Ok ok I know Scorpio risings are known for intense, bedroom eyes and their overwhelming s*x appeal and making suitors flee because they’re so intimidated etc etc… but quietly I think our biggest weapon that people don’t see coming is our sense of humor. (Honest to god I was thinking of how funny Hugh Grant is even though he doesn’t need to be bc he’s been so handsome this whole time lol. He always puts in the effort into that comedic timing) (Also people still think if you’re hot and intense you can’t be funny so it defuses some of the tension pretty well imo)

I feel like Virgo placements always seem to think they feel boring even though they’re like very knowledgeable and compelling in their own right (I’m getting all reflective and remember when like Virgo moons/mars would always ask if they’re being boring or complain about being boring but they tend to be good conversationalists when they allow themselves to analyze things so deeply)

I think cancers are actually the most defensive sign, naturally. I want to say they have this in common with their sister sign bc Capricorns are defensive and don’t like to show “weakness”. But the way that underdeveloped cancers (can) play the victim when scrutinized is different. (Like Capricorns do that earth sign thing where they use their perception to make you feel like you’re wrong, and they want to be seen as the authority not the victim). Where cancer is in your chart could show where you’re especially guarded and trying to protect your sensitivity.

To me Jupiter conjunct south node means you’ll reap benefits of good karma from a past life (or the effects of bad karma will be a lot in this lifetime but I saw this in obama’s chart and it’s a benefic planet so the first thing is what I thought of lol, he’s not a good guy but becoming the first black president of the us seems like a past life power play imo)

[doobea]

SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - NAGI SEISHIRO

synopsis: Your boyfriend doesn't realize how important little things are to you until it's a bit too late.

contents: established relationship, slight hurt and comfort??, slight jealousy, sfw, nagi struggling trying to process emotional needs of others - what else is new, also nagi centric, college au, mentions of fraternity formals, gn!reader, idk i hc'd nagi to be a compsci major but up to debate ig word count: 1.6K a/n: title is based off of tyler the creators song hehe its my fav from his album and omg thank u nagi for breaking me out of this writer's block, inspired by @celestair for the idea!!

Nagi hadn't really expected you to get so excited about attending his chapter formal. Hell, he didn't even know that they were going to have one in the first place if it weren't for Reo bringing it up in a passing conversation last week in your dorm room.

"We should go!" You said, and he remembers you hopping out of your seat, abandoning your assignment, and dashing immediately towards your closet for an outfit.

"Should we?" Nagi questioned, a frown creeping its way to his lips.

Reo slumped his arm over Nagi's shoulder, tugging the male slightly into his chest. "C'mon, why are you even paying the dues if you don't attend our events?" Reo sounded annoyed.

Nagi shrugged and went back to his phone, resuming the level of whatever popular gacha game that was released for that month. "Because you said it would look good on my resume or something." He answered flatly.

Of course, Nagi knew that he couldn't say no to this. As much as he would love to, once you and Reo were both set on something it's almost impossible to try and coax you two out of it. Nagi is pretty sure that this formal is going to be the bane of his college existence and that his computer science classes are, arguably, now the easiest part.

"It's too loud in here." Nagi wanted to go home the moment he stepped out of his best friend's rented limo. He feels too stiff with the suit he's currently wearing, the cologne is starting to overwhelm his senses, and he really didn't like the fact there's already a fuckton of people inside the venue.

Everything feels too congested.

The three of you take a seat at a table shared by Nagi's other 'brothers' and their dates. He really doesn't remember anyone's faces aside from maybe one or two from his classes, so he's confused when a handful of them start greeting him with fist bumps. All of which he awkwardly returns. Something about long-living brotherhood? Nagi didn't quite catch what they said.

"Do you guys want anything to drink?" Reo shouts over the music as he starts to get up.

"A cranberry vodka would be nice." You gently tug on Nagi's sleeve, attempting to break his unyielding attention from his phone. Reo had set a rule before they left, and it's a mobile game and social media app ban at the table. So, naturally, Nagi is stuck analyzing the weather app. "Do you want anything, Sei?"

Looks like tomorrow there's going to be a slight chance of rain which is pretty awesome, he thinks.

"Hm? Oh, whatever you're having, I guess."

Nagi misses the way your smile fades. "Um, make that two cranberry vodkas?"

"Ah," Reo stumbles around with his words for a bit before nodding away. "Sure, be back in a minute."

"Sei," Your voice is closer this time, lips almost pressed up to his ears to minimize the booming music in the background. "Wanna go on the dance floor later?"

Nagi pauses his thumb, hovering over a random European map, and he's already internally shrinking from the idea. "Do I have to?"

You laugh, it sounds a little forced. "Only if you're up for it."

He shrugs and eyes the surrounding area. The dance floor looks semi-packed at the moment and everyone looks equally semi-buzzed. Sitting at the table sounds better in his head. "I think I'll stay here but you can go on ahead."

"Oh," You exhale through your nose and laugh again. "Okay, if that's what you want!"

"Mhm," He hums back and settles his head down at the table, feeling almost exhausted despite not having to do much today.

Nagi doesn't notice that he's alone at the table until the DJ starts signaling everyone in the venue to pay attention to a couple on the dance floor. He only looks up when he hears Reo's name getting called out and starts to straighten his back when he sees you dancing hand in hand with him. The sight leaves Nagi gnawing the insides of his cheeks.

"Hey," Nagi turns to see two of his fraternity brothers looking at him with a bit of concern and he's not sure why that's making him feel uneasy.

"You good there?" Isagi asks, careful to sound casual, but Nagi picks up on it.

"What?" Nagi frowns, connecting the dots together. "It's fine. I don't really care about them doing stuff together anyway." It's a vague statement. Maybe purposefully vague.

"Eh? You sure about that, Nagi?" Bachira presses.

Nagi frowns again, tips his head down, and is in deep thought. "I'm actually not sure." He finally admits. Nagi is currently fighting off a weird feeling in his stomach. Maybe it's just the drink he had earlier.

He's always been fine with Reo keeping you company whenever he isn't in the mood. Whether it be eating with you in the dining halls, attending movies together, going to the mall, and so forth. Dancing isn't off the list either. He's seen the two of you dance before but isn't sure why this is setting him off. Maybe it's the thought of you being happier without him in your life that is eating him away.

"Shit, he's walking over."

"Waah, let's go!"

It doesn't occur to Nagi that Reo's in front of him until his best friend clears his throat. Reo puts a hand on Nagi's shoulder and gives him one of those looks. A look that insinuates something big that he can't place a finger on but knows it's full of negative nuance.

"Don't be an ass right now," is all that Reo says.

"An ass?" Nagi echoes.

He allows Reo to tug him out of his seat and Nagi almost feels lethargic from how long he's been sitting down. A final push towards the edge of the dance floor is when he catches your sullen figure.

"I'm surprised that you haven't caught on," Reo continues after a while. Nagi recognizes the tone. He doesn't say anything more, and Nagi appreciates it that much, at least.

It's funny how much his mood is able to shift. First from feeling annoyed, to borderline sleepy, to determined. Nagi thinks he's finally learning how to read his relationship with you.

It's only when he's inches apart that he realizes that you're on the verge of tears. Nagi instinctively reaches out his hands and softly cups your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs across in his attempt to calm you.

What's wrong, he wants to ask but he already knows the answer to that. He feels bad for complaining all week, but he feels even worse for essentially abandoning your needs for god knows how long.

Nagi chews on his lips as a new idea starts to brew. It's an uncharacteristic idea. An idea that pushes him to become a new version of himself—the person he wants to be but struggling to understand.

"Hey," Nagi calls out your name slowly. "Can I dance with you?" You open your mouth—probably to say it's okay and you'd rather not make him uncomfortable—but Nagi continues before you can get a word in, before your tears start falling. "I'm sorry, I should've paid closer attention." He says in a whisper.

You fall silent and Nagi is wondering if he's said something he shouldn't have. He quietly peers over at Reo who's aggressively nodding his head, throwing a thumbs up across the room. You shift awkwardly in place before giving Nagi a faint smile.

"I would like that," You sound a little hesitant, but surprisingly welcoming to the suggestion. "I mean, if you're okay with it?"

"Don't worry about what I think, you've done plenty for me already." And he means it.

Nagi migrates his hands from your face to your waist as the music shifts to something slower, more tender, and sweet. It's obvious to everyone in the room that you two are a little nervous and it's almost laughable. He's been dating you just shy of a year and has never once offered to dance with you. It comes as no shock to him that you're growing shy under his touch and movements, despite being together countless times. This feels different to Nagi, and he's positive you're thinking the same thing.

It takes a while, maybe because you're both getting used to this foreign feeling, but you eventually wrap your arms around his neck and hug closer to his body. Somehow, that short circuits Nagi's brain and he freezes in place.

"Sei, is everything alright?"

There's a wave of guilt that washes over his eyes. This act is weighing Nagi down, more than he wants to admit, and he has to pull away. Eyes glued to the ground because if he looks at you he'll start to feel nervous, confused, and small.

"Sorry, I'm... trying my best."

"Sei, it's okay." It's your turn to rub your hands across his cheeks and he doesn't realize that he's flushed in the face until you comment. "You're warm."

"Sorry," He doesn't know why he's apologizing again. For being flustered? Not knowing how to dance? Or afraid of disappointing you again? He thinks it's a mixture of all three.

"Hey, as long as you're trying then I'm proud of you." You reply with ease.

You're always kind to him. Most times, you don't push him more than what he's willing to give and maybe that's why he's comfortable around you. Even if he does know you're silently judging his actions but it's okay, because it's you. But he also knows that he's been taking advantage of this trait and it sucks having to find this out tonight.

Nagi nods. You're right, he doesn't need to worry about anything else but you in this moment.

[fox-guardian]

I am still thinking so hard about artist Jon.

Like. It's a hobby for him, purely, he doesn't plan to make money off of it. It's just for fun. He doodled a bit in his free time and then took life drawing classes in uni because Georgie insisted he needed to get out and do something more than studying so he. Kept studying. But just art this time.

He would describe his style as a kind of realism, but its definitely stylized in colors at least, as he's impatient and goes for bolder colors for lighting pretty early in his process so he doesn't lose the feeling of the piece, especially if it never gets finished. He wants to keep the vibes, just in case he wants to go back to it, so he doesn't forget.

He kinda falls of drawing after he starts at the institute, but I think during season 4 he picks it up again to cope with. Everything. He's not using his fancy drawing supplies since he doesn't have them anymore, just office pens and pencils. It's a lot of Martin, of course. But also Tim. He wishes he could ask Melanie to describe Sasha for him so he could try to draw her too, but he figures that wouldn't go down very well. Besides, telling his coworkers he draws is too much vulnerability anyway. Sometimes he even draws The Admiral, but he doesn't often draw animals so it never does him justice in his eyes.

Then at the safehouse, he works up the nerve and asks if Martin could sit for him for a bit. He doesn't need to pose or anything, just stay right there, Martin, keep reading that book, just don't move too much for a while, the lighting is perfect, he needs to capture it. He needs to map it with pen and paper. His phone camera could never catch the golden light on Martin's hair, and besides, the photo could lie to him later. But muscle memory and scratches in paper are harder to change, surely. He needs to record the moment like this. Hold it to his heart. Feel it in his wrist as he swipes strands of hair across the page, in his shoulder as his arm arcs down the curve of Martin's stomach, in his fingertips as he smudges the pigment he bought from the local craft supply shop to form a reddened cheek.

And Martin's cheeks are red. After everything that's happened, all the distance, his heart wasn't prepared for the intimacy of sitting before the man he loves being lovingly analyzed and having his likeness put to paper. It's exciting and agonizing at the same time, feeling eyes on him for hours as Jon stares down every curve, maps out every freckle, mole, and blemish. And when Martin sees the final image as Jon sheepishly presents it to him, he cries. He remembers feeling the fear of statement givers as he read their stories, living it through the words written. It was kind of like that, only instead of fear, he felt the overwhelming love pressed into every line on the page. Every stroke, every smudge, even tucked into the negative space, filling him up until it couldn't be contained, and he burst into tears. (Which worried Jon greatly until Martin reassured him with a hug and a kiss.)

He doesn't ask Jon to stop drawing him. How could he, when it was always with such love behind it? Not to mention Jon was getting back in the swing of it, oiling his rusty skills, and he was so happy doing it. But he will admit it was mildly mortifying seeing their home fill up with so many portraits of him, steadily increasing in their flattering composition. Jon was drawing from his imagination now that he had memorized most of Martin's form, and it was getting out of hand. He once caught a glimpse of a work in progress of Martin lounging and being fed grapes by cherubs. Good lord.

[shawnxstyles]

we need a part two when they finish the project please

sweetheart (part 2)

warnings: smut; (f- receiving [fingering, clit stimulation], praise kink, protected sex, slight cock-warming, dirty talk), and tiny fluff

note: i’m soooo sorry i haven’t been as active. once june starts i’ll be able to write more and post more stories, but right now i’m super busy. i have a few fics right now that i’ve started, but haven’t gotten the chance to sit down and finish them. so for now, please accept this blurb 😖 sweetheart part 1

—

you’ve always had a liking for school, in every aspect. unlike most people, you enjoyed doing homework and projects because it helped you understand the material you were learning. specifically, you adored science. you thought that the facts and what-ifs of the universe were fascinating, and you wouldn’t mind spending your whole life experimenting to discover new things. you absolutely loved chemistry and found it fun to analyze different equations to see what substance creates which reaction.

but right now, you’ve never hated science more.

peter is sitting on his computer typing away on the essay portion while you’re trying to focus on writing the poster. in all honesty, he gave you the easier job and you’re grateful, but you can’t seem to focus. not after he had his warm mouth on your pussy only two hours ago. every few moments, you would peek at peter’s fingers typing. you were getting so desperate to the point that each word he typed sent a tingle down your belly. when you two made light conversation, you swear his voice got a little deeper each time, and the rumbly rasp nearly sent you flying onto his lap.

“y/n, did you hear me?” you did not hear him.

“huh?” you blinked a few times, shaking all your dirty thoughts of his fingers from you. but they looked so rough and they moved so quickly, just like they did in you—

“are you okay?” no, you were not okay.

“uh, yeah, i’m fine,” you lied because you just wanted to finish the project, so peter could withhold his promise. that promise was the only thing getting you through this poster. there seemed to be a million facts and a lot of diagrams.

“what’d i say about lying?” peter asked with a head tilt and an octave-lower voice, his fingers halting on the keyboard. your heart skipped an erratic beat and your pencil dropped onto the poster paper.

“d-don’t do it.”

“good, you remembered,” he smirked subtly before typing away again. you take shallow breaths, wondering how he takes away your breath so easily.

the pulsing need of your clit and the burning of your stomach keep you from focusing. after ten minutes of hazily writing and sketching nonsense, you swallow your fear.

“peter, i was wondering if…we could take a break?” you suggested, pencil spinning around your anxious finger.

“sure, that sounds good,” he replies, but not the way you wanted him to. you watch as he saves his progress and closes his computer before walking around the kitchen island. he grabs two cups of water and hands one over to you when you appear at his side.

“oh, i’m not thirsty,” you smile to deny his offer.

“but you will be,” peter says nonchalantly before taking a smooth sip of his water. you feel the all-too familiar blush cascade across your neck as your eyes wander around the floor.

“are you all shy now? you didn’t seem to be when you were checking me out earlier,” peter taunts with a fake-innocent smile and places his glass on the counter. your eyes go wide for a moment, embarrassed that you were caught. “what? you didn’t think i saw you looking at me like you were going to jump on me? i know needy eyes when i see them, baby.”

the overwhelming heat of your skin fogs up your brain, making it impossible to focus on anything but the words leaving his lips. you’re silently begging him to touch you, to mend that ache in your cunt with his rough fingers. and hopefully, his cock. god, you want to see and feel his cock more than anything. you bet it would stretch you out for a whole week.

you swear you’re not normally like this.

“something’s on your mind,” peter observes with squinted eyes and a hand under his chin. “what is it?”

oh, just the idea of you fucking me into oblivion that’s all is what you wanted to say, but of course you didn’t. you mumbled out some gibberish that he couldn’t understand.

“i can’t hear you, sweetheart,” his words were so condescending, and in some twisted way, it turned you on so much.

“your promise,” you finally said, looking at his eyes. with each passing moment they grew from brown to shades darker.

“oh, i see,” peter tsks, “please, remind me what my promise was again? i seem to have forgotten.”

peter just loves games. especially the ones where he can feel your skin radiating fiery heat and watch your body squirm in its place. like he has all night, he’s been able to smell your arousal throughout the two hours you’ve been working. it utterly killed him to sit steady and type some scientific essay that wasn’t nearly as entertaining as your moans or ogasmic face. it was even worse knowing that you were just as desperate, but most likely didn’t want to interrupt your guys’ work time. what an angel you were.

but right now, peter’s never wanted to do more sinful things.

“you said…” how does he say such dirty words with ease? “you said we could continue what we were doing earlier.”

you lean your back against the counter, heart beating erratically in your chest as you try to remain cool. but your entire body was on fire and your clit was throbbing in your soaked underwear, so it was pretty difficult to stay focused.

“and what was that? use your words,” peter softly demands, licking his lips smugly. a never-ending heat cascades through your body, making your heart beat faster than ever. you breathe in, trying to get the courage to be so upfront.

“you said you would…fuck me,” you surprised yourself when you said the words. they sounded even bolder than you would have thought. every little moment he doesn’t say anything makes you think he’s just going to laugh at you. at this point, you think you’ve gone insane because you can no longer feel your heart beating. just the impending silence dangling between you two.

“good girl. now i remember,” peter smiles proudly and inches his way closer to you. his hand snakes up your neck and caresses your jaw. his thumb plays innocently with your bottom lip as your trembling breath huffs out. he could do whatever he wanted to you, and you would let him. “it wouldn’t be very nice if i didn’t keep my promise, would it?”

“no,” you waver out. your legs are stiffened together and your eyes are straining on his every move.

peter solely smirks before leaning down to kiss you. like the movies, his kiss is soft and pleasant. the way your lips molded together caused such an intense chemical reaction, and you would love to experiment on it. multiple times. every day. you would kiss him as many times as you could. you never would forget the magnetic feeling of his lips on yours.

your hands get lost in his brown hair, twisting their way through his ends. you’re so lost within his kiss that you didn’t even comprehend when he said “jump,” but you subconsciously listened and leaped into his hold. peter carried you to his bedroom, which you have been dying to see since you walked through the door. you believed someone’s bedroom said a lot about them.

however, you were too focused on other things to analyze peter’s bedroom. peter delicately lays you onto his black sheets, still kissing you like the world is ending. he slowly makes his way down your warm neck as you hum at the feeling. knowing what’s coming, you don’t wait for peter to ask permission behind discarding your own shirt. you close your eyes and tell yourself to not be self-conscious. he’s already seen you naked, so why be nervous?

seeing this, peter frowns slightly. his rough fingertip taps lightly on your temple. “open. wanna see your pretty eyes.”

your stomach tingles at his words before obeying his request. instead of smirking, peter smiles goofily and then kisses your cheek. a wave of warmth erupts through your skin at his affection. your entire body was covered in flames at this point, and you wondered if you would even be alive to get to the good part.

his tough hands roam your supple skin in hopes of exploring every inch. the rough texture left tingles in its trail.

“jeans?” he asks, looking up at you for approval.

“yes. please, peter,” you rushed and pleaded. your clit was begging for some friction, and you were about to start crying if you didn’t get something.

“gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart,” peter sang, thumbs rubbing the supple skin of your inner thighs teasingly. you wavered out a shaky breath, trying to conjure up the words.

“i need you so bad it hurts,” you whimpered. you were honest with peter, but your words weren’t what he wanted.

“i bet it does, baby. but that’s not what i asked,” peter flicks your clit through your underwear causing you to gasp at this unexpected movement. your thighs twitch and tighten at his teasing. he does it a few more times, just to get your body even more excited, and to get you to finally speak up.

“f-fuck! peter, i need your cock. i-i need you to fuck me,” you shouted, louder than you intended, but that was even better for peter.

“look who’s using her words,” peter says smugly, making your roll your eyes. you both assist in shrugging your panties off, making you completely naked while peter is still fully dressed. you reach for his shirt, but he’s already a step ahead of you and pulls it off himself.

when you see his body, you swear you almost faint. peter had six bulky packs of muscle on his abdomen and lumps of muscle on his arms. his chest was buff and tight, yet looked soft all at the same time. you had to blink a few times to make sure he was real. you even poked a finger at his stomach just to make sure it didn’t go through him like a ghost or a hologram. peter chuckles at your antics before grabbing your hand and kissing it, just like he had done earlier in the evening. and just like earlier, you felt yourself blush profusely and feel tingly all over again.

while you’re smiling like a goof, peter’s hands resume on your body. you instantly stop smiling because you remembered just how much he’s deprived you. but he’s also given you more than anyone else has in the past…

his digits caress your soaking slit between your crossed legs. you gasp because he’s finally touching you bare.

“open,” he demands softly, voice deep and lustful. shakily, you listen and do so. peter doesn’t hesitate to find your lips again with his fingers.

you quietly moan at the delicate pressure, feeling the smallest bit of friction. just as you were about to beg him for more, or to hurry up, his middle finger slips inside of you. it was almost embarrassing how easy it was. the amount of wetness you were leaking could fix the california drought.

“god, you’re so wet. what made you like this?” peter slowly pushed his finger in and out, thumb circling your puffy clit at the same time.

“you, peter! fuck,” you clenched around his digit, needing release already.

“are you thinking about my cock? hmm?” peter questioned, voice gravely as he leans over you. “are you thinking about me inside of you? thinking about how much i’m going to stretch your little pussy out?”

you groan at his foul language, pulsing barbarically. you’re straining to keep your eyes open, trying to obey his earlier request and to intake the moment. peter urges you to come, increasing his thrusts and pace. before you know it, your core is tightening and you’re squeezing peter’s fingers until you do. you thought you cut off his circulation from how hard you were clutching onto him, but when he pulls his fingers away and licks them proudly, you knew he was just fine.

“taste so good, sweetheart,” a smirk dances upon his lips as your taste lingers in his mouth. he’ll never forget that taste, no matter what happens after tonight. he’s hoping there will be more nights like these. more days too.

“can you please fuck me now, peter?–”

he holds up a finger to your lips.

“all of a sudden you know how to use your words and it still sounds so dirty coming from your pretty lips.”

in the blink of an eye, peter is reaching over to his night stand to grab a condom (hopefully). when you see the tinfoil wrapping, he stuffs it between your teeth, making you hold onto it. you then watch as he undresses his pants, clearly taking all the time in the world like he has it.

the smell of your orgasm and your wetness is haunting peter’s senses. the scent of you is never going to rid from his body or his room. he also doesn’t ever want you to leave, so he’s going to drag this out as long as possible.

once his pants are finally off, you get the courage to undo the wrapper while he’s taking his underwear off. holding the condom, you almost drop it once you see his length. he’s big, bigger than you’ve ever had. the tip of cock is bright red and leaking a bit of pre-cum, clearly just as desperate as you.

“fuck,” you mumble when looking at him. all he does is smirk before taking the condom from your hand and putting it over himself. peter leans over you again, face over face.

“ready, sweetheart?” his smirk lingers while you clench around nothing. you can feel the overwhelming sensation of your clit throbbing and you just want him to mend it. “ready to be fucked so hard you can’t leave?”

“yes, peter. fuck me hard.”

with your final words, peter is gently sinking into you. your wet folds encompass his cock snuggly causing you both to groan in delight. after a few moments, he starts to rock his body and you release a string of moans with every thrust. you try your hardest to keep your eyes open, but fail to do so. the sensations are indescribable throughout your body.

peter’s actions get harder, rougher. just like you wanted. he’s flicking his hips into yours with skilled movements while his face is relaxing in the crease of your neck. you feel his warm breath on you as he groans into your ear, lighting your whole body on fire.

“shit, peter, it feels so good. don’t stop,” you whine when he hits a certain part inside of you. your hand creeps down in between you both to rub the ache in your clit, but peter stops you.

“love when you touch yourself,” he grunts, never halting his movements, “but that’s my job right now.”

so, peter begins harshing rubbing your clit to no end. instead, your hands squeeze tightly on his biceps while he pounds into you so hard, you see stars. your never-ending wetness makes it so easy for him to slip in and out.

you feel yourself clutch onto his cock and when he moans, he sounded like the best thing you’ve ever heard.

“i-i love when you moan,” you croaked out, feeling too blissful to speak coherently.

“yeah? what else do you like?” peter huffs out, still smug as ever, even when he’s deep inside of you.

“l-love when you talk dirty, peter.”

“knew you were fucking filthy.”

with his rough words, you’re on the brink of your orgasm. your core tightens like it did earlier and your nails are digging deliciously into his skin. peter hisses in pleasurable pain, loving what you’re doing to him.

as your orgasm flows over you, your heart beats a million miles an hour and your breathing becomes staggered. the moans you elicit were just as filthy and pornographic as…well a porno. as you came, peter was smiling the whole time.

peter twitched inside of you and that’s when you knew he was close. you tangled your hands in his hair one last time and gave a single tug. that simple movement caused him to groan deeply and bring him to his release.

he doesn’t pull out quite yet. he just rests inside of you with his head on your chest. then after a few moments, he goes to get up.

“don’t leave,” you whisper and slide your hand through his locks again.

“it’s my place, baby, i’m not leaving,” he chuckles and slowly pulls out. you whimper at the loss of his cock, and at the feeling of being stretched out to the max.

“peter, i think you ruined me,” your voice cracked because it was hoarse and dry. you definitely needed some water now.

“good. are you thirsty now, sweetheart?”

—

tags: @invisibletrolleyson-jeremy @lnmp89 @crybabyddl @pretty-npeach @marine-mayday @aerangi @justanotherpasserby-blog @tinafuentes @moniffazictress11 @eywaheardyou @alwaysclassyeagle @mrstealuregirl @bisexual-desi @sherlockstrangewolf @madsttx @graywrites20 @bradtomlovesya @princesspannnn @raajali3

crossed out= not able to tag

[hyufucks]

three is better than one ➳ txt choi line + fem!reader

cw: dom!choi line, sub! reader, foursome (i guess), raw sex, multiple orgasms, a little bit of breeding kink, cowgirl, mentions of oral, fingering, fingers in mouth, face slapping (if i miss anything please let me know!).

when they told you that choi wanted you to be in the dorms, you never thought that the three wanted to be with you.

the eldest of the three, yeonjun, was fucking you hard while the youngest of the choi was holding you, resting your back against his chest as he gently caressed and rubbed your thighs to distract you from the overwhelming pain.

the leader remained oblivious to the situation, watching the show from his comfortable sofa with his legs slightly apart, analyzing every move.

ever since you met the three choi, beomgyu and yeonjun were most of the time fucking you or somehow managing to squeeze you multiple times. they were almost always threesomes, so you rarely had single sex with one of them.

you could perfectly highlight the qualities of the two: yeonjun is so good with his tongue. he can really spend hours down there and he's never going to get tired. beomgyu is also good at eating you, but gosh, his fingers are incredibly nimble and he handles them too well when it comes to twisting them inside you.

and, of course, they both fuck too good to be true.

however, choi soobin never touched you, kissed you and didn't even have that dark gaze that characterized the other two when they wanted to drag you to their bedrooms. you always thought that he had some kind of problem with you, that just hated you or maybe has this fetish of watching people having sex.

you vaguely remembered that the only 'contact' he had with you was lightly brushing his hand on your knee when the four played board games while laughing and the cheeks turned pink from too much alcohol.

he was always a spectator, but never a protagonist.

you stared at a fixed point while feeling your brain being fucked, until yeonjun's big hand grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him.

'what's wrong with you, hmm?' you saw his smile 'am i fucking you so good that you can't keep eye contact?' he teased you with a small laugh. beomgyu also joined him.

the youngest's hands left your thighs to go directly to your nipples, gently caressing each one of them. you licked your lips and your body rose slightly, earning a laughter again from the two boys.

'your body is still reacting just like the first time' the green hair muttered 'you're still tight' he sighed softly.

'hyung, is she too tight?' beomgyu asked, feeling his cock getting harder against your lower back as time went on.

the older nodded 'so tight that i'm about to cum' he swallowed hard as he struggled to move inside you.

yeonjun's hand released from your jaw to eventually drive towards your core, moving quickly to help you cum.

you scratched his arm and squirmed a couple of times before bursting hard, feeling your stomach burn inside as your euphoria slowly ebbed. jun soon joined you, spreading his warm, sticky liquid inside you.

your peace and calm did not last very long, since you immediately felt how beomgyu left you aside to lie down next to you, gently caressing your belly.

'do you think you can go on top of me and ride me, precious?' he asked softly with such a cute smile that it is impossible for you to deny his request.

you slowly straddled on him as best you could, letting him settle carefully inside you, helping you down gently.

gyu saw you so exhausted that he took pity on you; he took you by your waist with both hands and began to hit you hard inside.

you placed both hands on his shoulders to support yourself, feeling how your liquid and yeonjun's came out of your inside.

immediately the older's fingers picked up his own essence and pushed them back into you. you gritted your teeth in hypersensitivity.

'try to keep it inside, okay?' he gently kissed your forehead and caressed your back. you nodded and smiled at him without showing your teeth 'that's our pretty girl' he fixed your messy hair and let his partner continue with his work.

beomgyu hugged you to his body and began to spread messy kisses on your neck and face to finally kiss your red and broken lips.

of the two of them, he was always the sweeter when it came to having sex. seldom gyu was mean to you, he might act like a motherfucker when your bratty side comes out.

yeonjun, on the other hand, was always a son of a bitch, although sometimes he has his tender moments where he treats you like the person he loves the most in this world, despite not being in a romantic relationship with him.

it took a couple more thrusts for beomgyu to finally cum inside of you, lightly biting your shoulder, holding back his moans and curses. a short time later you followed him, shaking like jelly.

both guys helped you get comfortable on the bed, kissing every part of your body, caressing you and telling you that you have done an incredible job while they put your underwear on you to retain the semen of both of them.

when you finally thought you could rest and begin to close your eyes, a third voice, so long awaited by you, was present.

soobin got up from the sofa to walk slowly until he was standing right in front of you.

you felt the mattress sink with the new weight. you swallowed hard with emotion — and perhaps fear —of what soobin would do to you.

his big, cold hands roamed over your figure, gently caressing the places where the other boys had bitten and sucked.

suddenly, his face was close to yours, examining every part of it.

out of sheer impulse you leaned in and kissed his lips that looked so soft.

you immediately felt soobin's hand hit your cheek, causing you to bring your hand to the spot.

you looked at him with the eyes of a scared puppy.

'turn around and get on four. now.' you obeyed almost immediately, even though it took you too long to put yourself in the position the leader asked you to do. — your knees failed more than once.

you gasped against the pillow as he quickly removed your underwear and settled in behind you.

'i guess you can take another round, right?' not responding right away, soobin grabbed your hair and pulled it back 'i asked you a fucking question.'

'y-yes, i can take it' you replied crying from the pain 'fine' he pushed your face into the pillow and aligned his cock at your entrance.

you bit into the fabric once it fully entered you.

your body was dead, but your brain was awake and alert to the sudden sensation you've longed to experience ever since you met him. you wanted to keep every moment in your mind, in case this was the only time soobin fucks you.

he lifted your head again and forced you to suck on his fingers as he placed them right in front of you. you happily did, and when they were completely wet, he directed them towards your center and pushed them inside of you without any warning.

you moaned loudly at the pleasant sensation of his long, beautiful fingers inside you, and the sudden well-known knot in your belly became present.

'i'm about to cum' you warned him between gasps and little sips from your nose. he answered by accelerating his movements, both his fingers and his cock.

more jerky movements and heavy hits were enough for soobin to reach his orgasm, accompanied by grunts and low curses.

his movements never slowed down, in fact, they became much more violent than before. you felt how your orgasm arrived and your vision was clouded by the accumulation of tears and the sweet pleasure of having been incredibly fucked by the person you waited so long for.

soobin withdrew from you slowly and automatically put your underwear back on with one hand.

'i hope for your own good keep our sperm inside you, or we'll have to fuck you again until you learn how to be a good, pretty container.' he whispered against your ear before letting go of your hair, allowing you to slump back against the mattress and let yourself rest for the first time that night.

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Shrink

Astarion x Y/N - Drabble - 800 WC

Masterlist

Warnings: I AM NOT A THERAPIST TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY WITH A GRAIN OF FUCKING SALT, therapy, trauma, analysis, isekai, flufffffffffffffffff

------------------------------

“What did you say your job was?” Astarion asked as he looked at you from across the tent.

“I’m a therapist… or I was at least.” you smiled at him and shrugged. 

“And what exactly do you do?” he asked, looking up from his book.

 “I listen to people tell me about their lives and help them navigate their feelings and/or trauma, learn coping skills… all sorts of stuff.” you said as you played with sparks between your fingers, entertaining yourself.

“So you listen to people whinge?” he said, raising an eyebrow at you, an unimpressed look on his face. 

“Not exactly. People certainly did complain to me about stuff, but the point of therapy is to heal.” you said, smiling softly at him. 

“And you think people can do all that through talking?” he asked.

“Absolutely. Talking is how you get everything out. Action comes second.” you nodded at him. 

“So what can you tell me about me, mighty therapist?” you could see the mischievous glint in his eye but you also saw a genuine, almost nervous look. 

“You really want me to “shrink” you?” you asked him, letting the sparks dissipate from your hands, scooching closer to him. 

He nodded at you with a small smirk.

“Alright… well… you are a deeply mistrusting person, you see everyone around you as a threat, and I think deep down you are scared and in pain and just want to be loved and cherished and protected. I won’t try to completely define you or your experiences because I have only scratched the surface of 200 years of your life… but I look forward to being with you and helping you when you want me to.” you struggled to get your answer out, not wanting to overwhelm him or get too deep without properly analyzing him.

Astarion hummed at you, leaning in to kiss you. You kissed him back before leaning back, eyes wide. You looked at him with a bit of confusion, most people not exactly loving when they are mentally looked over at a moment's notice. You searched his eyes for any sign of discomfort, yet found none.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to offend in any way…” you said, quickly trying to cover yourself and your words. 

“Darling, if I didn’t want to hear it, I wouldn’t have asked.” he smiled at you, gently caressing your cheek.

You nodded, kissing his palm. “So… what do people usually tell you during therapy?” he asked, pulling you into him so you laid together. He played with your hair as you played with your sparks again.

“Whatever they want, it is a judgment free zone.” you shrugged.

“Everyone must be in therapy,” Astarion said “it sounds like something everyone could use.” 

You laughed rather loudly, Astarion looked down at you with confusion. “Sorry love… it’s just… not everyone believes therapy to be helpful. And for them it may not be, but a lot of people just don’t give it a chance.” you tried to explain. 

Astarion let out a hum, “Did you like your job?” 

You smiled “It was rewarding, but also had its not so great moments… like every job I suppose.” 

“Did you work hard to become a therapist?” he asked, trying to gauge the schooling you received to do such a fascinating job.

“I went to university for eight years getting multiple different degrees and licenses so yeah… I worked pretty hard.” you chuckled, remembering all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into your life's work. 

Astarion stole a spark from your hand, making it dance between his fingers before it fizzled out. “Do you miss it?” he whispered. 

“I have a new job now.” you said quickly.

“What's that?” Astarion asked as he continued to steal your sparks.

“Adventure! Slay enemies, eat cake, love, lust, cry, celebrate…. All of it. And best of all, I get to be with you while I do it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” you said as you leaned up and kissed him, wiping out any and all negativity in Astarion. 

He kissed you back, “Well… Let’s hope you have time for your favorite patient from time to time.” he smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. 

You smiled, “For you? Hmmmmm, it’ll cost you…”

“Oh? Cost what?” He kissed your cheeks.

“A kiss.” you blushed.

“Just the one? Darling, don’t cheapen yourself.” he smirked before kissing you deeply, you were sure there were sparks circling your head because you felt dizzy when he pulled away. 

You pulled him back to your lips by his collar, “As many kisses as I want?” you questioned before kissing him softly.

“That’s a bit more economically sound, in my humble opinion.” he smiled before kissing you and pulling you on top of him. 

----------------------------

Naboo's Note:

This is such a dumpster fire of a fic. I work in mental health and idk this just came to me but I kinda fucking hate it so who knows how long this will be up. AGAIN - I am not a therapist or counselor so if my analysis of Astarion isn't to your liking please remember this came straight out of my sleep deprived dome at 3 AM after working a double. A little grace if you please. Thank you all for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests. TTYLXOXO!!!!!!!

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your true colors - (5/7) Blue"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color blue, the fifth of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

blue is the color of intuition, inner peace, serenity, spiritual development, acceptance, truth, communication, expression, service, artistry, purpose (throat chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

I hear "turmoil". And I think your intuition may be a bit clouded atm. You feel anxious or frustrated at times and may even lash out easily. Ofc it's not good to lash out on others: I think you may accumulate stuff inside until you cannot hold it anymore and you just randomly throw it all on someone that may even not have any fault or may only say a little "wrong" thing. It's a human coping mechanism and you're not doing it on purpose so try to forgive yourself: yes, this person may ofc feel hurt and not everyone may understand your situation or forgive you, especially if it happens more than once, but it's okay to lash out in general so to not keep stuff rotting inside and make it worse. To avoid such situations, you can try to find other outlets for this mental frustration, and use them before getting to that point: eg. moving your body or singing/shouting into the void, punching your pillow.... Maybe you were the one being lashed on in the past and you kinda learnt this habit or maybe you just feel lonely and not appreciated, or you are exhausted also by people and trying to keep up with them. Psychologically, we lash out on others cause it gives us a sense of control that we may lack, but we can change this anyway: we can unlearn stuff with patience, forgiveness and kindness (with yourself) and through repetitions. Learn to communicate more about your stress, your insecurities and fears, your blockages. If not with others, at least with yourself. You are brilliant and sweet but your mind may have troubles processing stuff when you're being overwhelmed by emotions or too many informations, so instead of going full beast mode (one of the 3 usual humans' reactions to this type of situations, dw), trying to focus on one thing at time could be of help. Move your body first, to liberate from the excess of energy and then, focus on journaling maybe (or doodling some specific patterns/coloring). I do feel that writing down your issues and feelings may help you give you a different perspective and also put everything in line and get clarity about what's going on. I do feel that sometimes you may be the one putting stress on yourself by overthinking situations, words and imagining (it's not your intuition talking here but your fears) what others may think of you or how they may perceive you. It's like always having a background noise in your mind and after a while, ofc you cannot deal with it anymore. It's like always feeling wrong and out of place. I'm very sorry about this, you don't deserve it at all and I hope you can shut this overthinking down by realizing your worth never depends on others' impressions of you. Your worth is already within you.

I think you may also hear what you've been told while growing up or by other people pretty often: what they told you when you did something "wrong" or how you were wasting your time if you only needed to relax, or anything of this kind. Honestly, your inner critic may have learned a lot from them and how they easily and even harshly judged you. There's some unlearning to do here, and it's a lot about how you communicate also with yourself not just with others. It's about being kinder, more compassionate and seeing things and your needs for what they are: human stuff. If you need to lay down, you're not wasting time: you're simply recharging. And helping yourself to work in a more efficient way the moment you'll feel replenished. You don't have to drag yourself to the final line, you're not going to win anything this way, not even the approval of those people (would it really matter anyway? Or be worth of all your energy and mental sanity?). Procrastination (and the frustration that may originate from it) happens not when you're lazy but when your body feels in a threat: no matter how many things are piling up in your life, you cannot do any of those and feel guilty and shame yourself as you were in your past. But your body won't move: it's not lack of willpower it's just that your body blocked to conserve energies and survive. If you experience feeling exhausted (even after sleeping), lack of motivation, needing to lay down and even feeling detached from your body, it may be your body trying to protect you from danger, and it could be worth to try and listen to it and understand what is the danger it is perceiving; after this meditation/analysis period, try to walk or do some grounding/breathing exercise and set just easy tasks and complete them slowly to regain control of the situation. Also try to get back in touch with your physical body by touching/caressing and really feeling your movements: dancing (or yoga) is ideal, and you don't have to be a pro: just try and feel your whole body moving. Even the smallest part of it. Mind, body and soul need to come back at one. Don't hold it against you if you cannot do something, tell your mind to stop for a moment: try to follow your body's advice and act as a consequence. Acceptance (about the fact that you need to stop for a little or that you need to do something in a different way from the usual or treat yourself as any other human being -despite you may have lerned you're unworthy and useless) is indeed the key to unblock yourself at times and really move forward. You may also be able to connect better/again with your intuition after this. So yes, for every hars comment you feel telling yourself, try to add a kinder comment about anything you have done or you are. You're not just inherently bad as you were probably made believe and your mind is suggesting you by making every little negative thing look bigger than it is (normal minds' job: they need to protect you so they exaggerate everything to be sure you listen to them), nobody is.

song: you spin me round (like a record) | dead or alive

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pile 2

Dear pile 2, you seem melancholic or nostalgic. And as in the Green reading, you don't wanna share. I know it comes from your gentleness and deep empathy, but you're not being a burden tbh. I read a thing once and it said something like: "Do you like being of help to others and friends, right? It makes you feel good, right? If your answer is yes, then why you don't want your friends to feel good after helping you? Why you're not allowing them to feel joy after doing something good for you?". I think you're used to do things alone and it may be difficult for you to rely on others. To talk about your insecurities and fears, and dreams too... but if you don't share them, others may never know them. Not everyone is emotionally intellingent/intuitive as you. For some of you, there may be perfectionism issues and you may also project them on others which is blocking you from interacting on a deeper level. It's not you, nor them... and you can heal this. Your pile almost feels a mix of the other two piles tbh. And I cannot grasp it entirely... It feels as if you have decided on your own (even unconsciously, as if you were powerless or blind to see/consider anything else) that your present situation is what you're supposed to do and be, and if for some of you it is a good thing, for others (most of you) is just more like accepting a sad situation as in "I cannot change it, so I will do this anyway... it's my duty". It's like a sacrifice you're doing for others' good. And for as noble as it may seem and is your intention (behind it all), it's not going to do you any good nor make you happy... and you know it. Honestly, if you don't like this, if you don't want it, you can change it. You don't have to do anything for others, unless you actively want it. There's no such thing as being doomed to live in a certain way, unless... we fear the change. Unless we decide to willingly close off to what else is calling for us out of fear. Fear of making it, fear of not being good enough, fear of not deserving it, fear of being seen as "different" from how we're generally perceived and therefore judged, fear of not being liked, fear of ending up alone. Fear of the unknown, basically. Of not having control or of being certain of how it will go (while we know exactly where we are and how it is). But we cannot control everything in life... actually we can't control much, just ourself. And ofc we may need to make certain decisions out of need (money, eg.) but... it doesn't seem your situation (maybe just a few of you). I feel you may be used to downplaying yourself/needs and self sabotaging yourself. It's not your fault ofc, it's something you learned from your past (I am hearing gaslighting, and I'm so sorry), but your mind needs to unlearn that, or you won't be able to move away from there ever nor see your real self (ask for help/support if you cannot make it alone or it feels scary. Even ask to a friend or someone you trust... it's okay). You're probably very connected with the moon, maybe you talk with her or you're very deep and like to dig within yourself. Or it's a big part of your chart. Maybe you're a lone wolf, and maybe you even like that (or pretend to, as said). Or maybe it's your soul trying to tell you something or awake you to who you really are. Maybe some of you already know what I am talking about but cannot do anything anyway: I know, it's not easy to take action and change this mental pattern, it's more easy to tell yourself things like "It's not worth it, it'll never happen, it's not for me, what would it change, it doesn't matter, it's a useless effort...". But you can actually change everything you want to. You have such a power the moment you really put your whole self into that. And it matters. If it matters to you, then it's all worth it. Every little effort you take, even if you won't see results at first, it'll be worth it. And it'll take you where you want. At least, it'll show you your worth and deservance for something else, something (at least closer to what) you want.

I think the moon wants to guide you somewhere through your intuition, probably to your real self: you may have been fed lies for a lot, lies about yourself too, and you may have started telling yourself lies as well, to stay in the same place, to be in control (maybe where those who told you first wanted to keep you). Be more real with yourself. Talk with yourself and go deep within, have no fear of finding confirmation for what you already feel but are trying to push away out of that fear, finding excuses and telling yourself lies. Telling yourself "it's okay/better this way, it's fine, I'm good" when you're not. You're so amazing pile 2... don't push this away.

You know it's all for you, you know it. You are beautiful and deserve more. Trust yourself, in particular trust your heart and your guts. I do think that you should trust your emotions more instead of closing them off and analyze them through your mind's filter. Your mind can be biased by all that has learned from others (eg. people pleasing is good when it's not), from the past, but it's not about others and the past, it's about you now. You know that there's something off in this situation you're in and trying to accept, so don't close off to the chance that you can change it, that it can be different, and that you don't have to accept it unless you really (be objective) want it. No matter if someone will be upset by this decision: it's your life, and if they love you, they'll understand (if they don't love you... It's not your people, you don't need them in your life, they won't bring you any good -sorry to be harsh but... it's better to stay alone for a while than to be with people who only use and abuse you). You only have to be yourself in this life, and not someone you're not. And being you, exactly you, trust me, is great. You have such a big heart and open mind (use 'em for yourself too)! I think you believe you are at peace now but it's a fake peace, it's a peace that comes from tranquillity and not having to deal with fears or not having to make decisions on your own and take responsibility for them: some of you may leave decisions about your life in the hands of others, maybe your caregivers (but they may not really know you well cause you aren't... able to speak your truth with them? All out of fear again, of not being "able" to make good decisions for yourself when you totally are). Anyway this is not the real inner peace your soul may be looking for. I do think you're here for something more, something big too actually (whatever you may consider big), and you feel it too. You're not here to do something that others may like, but you're here to do something you like and some others may appreciate too or be thankful for. Maybe not everyone and that's fine, but you'll find your people. You're here to find your purpose, even if it'll take a lot of time and you'll have to try many different roads before getting there (or maybe bravely do just what your souls is asking you to do). And make mistakes or experience some failures (sometimes we fall while running, but we can get up and run again: we don't always get harshly hurt and have to interrupt -you will be able to decide when it's time to give up if necessary). You're not here to live the purpose of anyone else or to let anyone else tell you what's your purpose: that's only your own soul's call. Others cannot know it unless you unleash it freely. Talk with your mind, please. There's so much potential within you (also in arts I hear -I do feel for many the issue's about career/studies), there's so much willpower and joy... don't be blind to it all.

song: because of you | ne-yo (first lines in particular)

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pile 3

Your pile is the one of those who are trying and choosing calmness over the agitation of life and their mind -or should. You could be very spiritually gifted or just very in tune with your spiritual side or the 5d. You like to take time for you, to meditate, to ponder... or again, you should. You may get downloads from the 5d pretty often, even if you're not aware of them yet, or always.. or you may occasionally block them even unwillingly (maybe cause of fear of the unknown or of receiving the wrong info or of how others would see you or think of you if they knew; or maybe you lack trust or something -could be a religious trauma too). You may doubt about your connection with the 5d or your abilities if you are into divination of any type. And you may not trust your intuition that often even if I think it's pretty on point. You have reached (or are going to reach soon) some type of inner peace (and clarity that will come from it) and this will help you a lot for your future endeavours, even those related with spirituality. I also think you may have undergone a spiritual awakening of sort and probably are taking some time off to recover from it and all the ups and downs it brought in your energy and mind/life. You may also be artists or love arts (and honestly working on something artsy of your like could help you find calmness and clarity too and maybe get clearer downloads too). I do feel lot of peace in your energy, it feels like floating on water, reconnecting with the self... Maybe you're called to do this if you're not there yet, if you are still confused at least here and there. Take time for you, to immerse yourself in a peaceful environment (maybe even in a pool of water or the sea or in a tub) and just stay there for a while and feel the water clense your energy, your mind and your whole self (if you can/are able to, you can literally go underwater for a moment and enjoy the silence there). Take time to disconnect from the rest, from all that is just bothering you and your energy (energy vampires for some). Reconnect with your core and your intuition, meditate near/under water. Feel your heart beating, focus on it.

You may experience occasional blockages in your communication (also your daily one, not with the 5d as mentioned): you may not always remember the word for something or feel like your mind may go blank here and there (especially during Mercury rx). This could make you retreat from others at times and not feel confident enough to be seen/share stuff (fear of making mistakes and look "stupid"/feel unworthy: you're not that, my love. Not even if you are used to get talked over or interrupted or not listened to. Please start talking and sharing what you want, it's ALL important stuff -especially if related with spirituality-, even the weirdest things: they're part of you and so very important and cool. If someone doesn't listen, find someone else: it's not you the "problem" but who you talk with; also be your own trusted audience: it starts with you, with giving yourself the right attention and importance. And trust. I mean, you're amazing, don't fear to be seen). Yes, it could be also because of some type of inner turmoil/doubt/insecurity so again, try to find some balance, and reach that inner peace you so deeply need. It'll bring clarity also for what's ahead and for the decisions you may need to take soon (can't be clearer, sorry, but there's something ahead and you may get infos after meditating). I think you may be often distracted by something/keep yourself occupied and moving from a thing to another almost restlessly: it could be your mind trying to avoid thinking about something specific (maybe your insecurities' source: if you slowed down you would be obliged to analyze it, and... tbh probably you should do it now before moving forward in your life -reminder you don't have to do it alone anyway) or it could just be that you don't really know what to do and/or who you are, and are trying different things. It's not bad per se, it's good to experience different things actually as you may get a proper feedback on them and decide if you really like them or not, but maybe after a while of no result/feeling nothing, you should try and realize which is the thing that really calls you instead of losing time and energy around (trying to make everyone else happy): working so much in so many directions (or with so many people telling us what to do/asking for help), won't always bring us answers. Especially if we're giving ourself away to others or helping others first. Try to go slowly for a while, and be open to any message that may reach you at that time of meditation. It's okay to stop at times, to take a breath: you're not running out of time. Take care of yourself now, treat yourself to some time off and get comfortable with yourself and your own emotions as they may just trigger you or overwhelm you very easily sometimes. Clarity is really just around the corner, is really there, behind all the noises that you may get from the more external parts of your mind, the ones you pay the most attention to during your daily life, the ones that listen to others much more than to yourself and your needs. You just need to find some peace and calm, to be able to see beyond those noises, to dig between them and get your answers. To trust and listen to yourself only. You're a beautiful talented soul, you deserve more, especially from yourself. Dogs/horses may be omens for you or may bring messages if you dream about them (you can check on Google some meanings also according on colors/breeds), or maybe they're your Chinese horoscope signs.

song: hrs & hrs | muni long

[evilcowgirl]

Hi! i was thinking of a prompt for some headcanons for autistic! reader x the gang members (any one you like!)

a sort of "they're a bit odd but i like that about em" since it wasnt discovered until 1911.

stuff like when reader gets overwhelmed/doesnt understand social que/shows empathy/apathy at the wrong moments

and mostly what they'd do when reader feels left out/like they dont belong because thats something im really struggling with </3

have a good day/night!

autistic reader relationship headcannons

pairings: arthur, javier, dutch, charles x reader

a/n: hiii loved this request sm !! feeling left out is the worst feeling but there's a place for everyone so pls remember that !! also i included dutch and john for the first time !! this is me using my autism powers for good

word count: 1k (combined)

Arthur

you bond over you both feeling unheard in the gang. you because communication is difficult for you (especially when you feel out of place) and for arthur it's because he and dutch got into an argument twenty minutes ago and he's still mad.

makes it his personal responsibility to make sure you never feel overlooked at camp because he knows how hard it is for you to settle in with the rest of the gang

during parties at camp he makes sure to keep you right by his side of you don't feel up to talking and reassures you that everything is fine if you get overwhelmed

doesn't think twice about intimidating your way out of situations he sees going south

"You can't just go around talking to folks like that"

"Nah you ain't do nothing wrong, just that people 'round here are real quick-tempered; thankfully for you i'm even quicker."

he writes about you in his journal more than anything else, pages and pages are dedicated to just how special you are to him !!

"They aren't like most folk, I like that about them."

arthur takes it as you being less influenced by social norms, which he's naturally drawn to as someone who doesn't get along too well with social norms either.

KING of aggressive reassurance, sometimes it can be off putting but you know he means every word he says.

"I promise you if they didn't want you here you'd be long gone, darlin'"

"Everyone here loves you, I think even more than they love me at this point so stop your nonsense."

Dutch

biggest autism fan

calls you eccentric because thats how he chooses to describe you to people

completely over analyzes everything you say because he thinks you're the most interesting person he's ever met !! you might as well be evelyn miller !!

to him, you are so unique and precious that he finds himself being overly protective

his protectiveness could a flaw depending on your mood because he never notices that he's smothering you until you're past the point of being overstimulated by the attention.

you made a mistake ? no you didn't, you could never.

would rather watch a man die slowly than let you be confronted, even if you can take up for yourself.

"If he doesn't like your manners he'll be terribly disappointed to find that mine are much worse"

"Don't you dare waste your breath apologizing to anyone, sweet thing."

notices the small things about you like how enthralled you were by the noise his rings make when they brush against a glass or how you hate the feeling of too many eyes on you

you're the only person other than arthur that he feels like he can vent to without being judged.

will listen to you ramble about whatever you're interested in at the moment for as long as your interest lasts. has no problem with you coming up to him to talk about horses for a month straight if he gets to see you happy

Javier

he just thinks you're neat

you have a chest filled with little gifts that he brings you from his trips out of camp because you told him you like collecting things once.

little calm walks through the woods when things aren't going well, and even when they are and you just miss each other's company.

always reminds you to prepare yourself for the loud noise when he feels like he might have to use his gun if loud noises bother you.

"Remember to cover your ears, amor"

because of his own strict morals and passion for what he stands for he appreciates your straightness with what you believe. its easy for him to talk to you because he can trust you to be honest.

loyalty is a huge thing for javier so you can trust him to stand up for you diligently regardless of what it's about

someone made a snide comment ?? dead !

he adores everything you view as a flaw about yourself. from your struggles with putting things in a way that people can swallow easily, to your excitement for whats often seen as mundane.

"That's amazing, amor, tell me more!"

javier is definitely a self-identified romantic and finds ways to romance you even if sometimes you don't pick up on his affections.

always invites you to sit near him around the fire and listen to him play !! every song is for you because he knows you like his music

could not care less about your issues with empathy because he has them too after everything he's been through.

would never force you to feel something you don't or don't understand and reminds you that you're just as caring and lovable as anyone else

John

"You're a bit off, you know?"

will ask you why you do certain things, not to be rude but out of genuine curiosity and a lack of manners.

literally so clueless

thought that you hated him in the beginning and held a grudge that you didn't even know about, but once he realized that you simply expressed emotions differently than most people he warmed up to you over time

he wasn't exactly sure how to approach you even though he was interested and he's NOT at all used to being nervous around people he's interested in

tried and failed to strike up conversations with you numerous times before finally switching up his approach and realizing that small talk wasn't going to get him anywhere with you.

the term autism and it's symptoms weren't recognized medically until much later, there was no term for it which often led to people simply avoiding the topic of your differences or leaving you out completely. john on the other hand was incredibly frank about everything and never tries to convince you that you're just like everyone else. he knows that you're not and so do you, what matters to him is that he loves you just as you are.

gets aggressive when you're overwhelmed, not with you but to everyone else around you. hates seeing you stressed out and it gets him stressed too.

"They said they don't want any bother." when you definitely did not say that

sitting in his tent with him while you both calm down and sweet hugs and comforting words afterwards

only he is allowed to poke fun of you everyone else knows you're off limits

Charles

i like my bitches weird an offputting -charles i think

charles is the first person you think has truly known you without treating you any differently. he didn't speak down to you, or simplify things because he saw you as less intelligent. he spoke to you like a person that was just as capable of everyone else, which you were.

gentle words of encouragement and silent glances of of acknowledgment when you need them. he always know when you need them.

so sweet with you because he knows what it feels like to not belong in more ways than he could even list

"Would you like to join us?"

"I'd like it if you came, you're always welcome with me."

you never feel like he's judging you for not understanding how to talk with others in a conventional way. he understands you in a way you're not used to.

he can always magically tell when you're getting overstimulated and never makes you feel like a burden for it.

sweetest man ever just wants you to be okay !!!!

always shares new things that he's learned with you because he knows you'll appreciate them. loves to tell you all about plants and animals and in return he listens eagerly to whatever hyper fixation you have at the time

you both have a similar social which leads to you spending an unsettling amount of time together

holding hands and sweet kisses when you're both up for it, regardless of who's looking

people in camp talk of course, wondering how something that's not an animal being hunted could capture charles' attention for so long

[oneshotnewbie]

BAU Team x Reader:

A story where Readers best friend gets kidnapped and they try to find her. When Reader and the others find her and she is alive, Reader gets totally aggressive and beats the shit out of the kidnapper. Emily and JJ are shocked how protective you are about her, and Hotch/Morgan have to get you away from him.

ᕚ---ᕘ

The cold winter night covered the city like an impenetrable veil when you opened the door to your house. The snow crunched under your boots and the icy wind whipped your face. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your turbulent thoughts. But the news that reached you a few hours ago didn't let you find peace.

Your best friend had been kidnapped.

An iron lump formed in your stomach as you remembered the last words Olivia had said to you on the phone. Panic and helplessness threatened to overwhelm you, but you forced yourself to think clearly. You couldn't just break down, not now when Liv needed you.

So without hesitation, you jumped into the shower, changed your clothes and threw yourself back into work. As an FBI agent, you were used to dealing with pressure, but this time it was personal. You combed through files, analyzed traces and consulted colleagues. Days and nights passed, but there was no sign of exhaustion. Sleep and food had become unimportant in your mission to find Olivia. Only the tireless search drove you, even if your strength was steadily dwindling.

Your colleagues quickly noticed that you were overextending yourself. Emily and JJ were the first to notice your worried behavior and tried to get you to rest, but you stubbornly refused. The worry in your friends' eyes didn't leave you, but you couldn't let the fear and desperation overwhelm you.

"You need to take a break, my love," Emily urged as she found you at the desk, surrounded by stacks of papers and empty coffee mugs. "You are only harming yourself that way."

You glanced up from the papers, your eyes tired and drenched in sleeplessness. "I can't stop, Em. Not while Olivia is still out there." JJ stepped closer and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "We understand how you feel, but you also need to think about your own health. Olivia wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself for her. Let Morgan drive you home.“

"No. You DON'T know how I feel, damn it!" you complained, your friend's words only half getting through to you. Your mind was trapped in an endless maze of possibilities and scenarios on how to find Liv. The minutes passed into more hours, the hours into days, and still there was no concrete trace.

Finally, after a seemingly endless search, you found a crucial clue that led you to your best friend. With a last spark of energy, you and your colleagues stormed the building and when the door to the dark hiding place was pushed open, a bright light flooded the room.

You immediately rushed forward, followed by Morgan, Hotch and the girls. The relief was palpable when you found your best friend, alive and unharmed, in a small side room.

The bonds that had held you captive fell to the floor, cut by Hotch, and you sank to your knees, tears of relief and tiredness streaming down your cheeks. You hugged her tightly as if you never wanted to let her go.

But while the others were busy freeing Olivia from more shackles, you noticed a figure at the edge of the intermediate door. It was definitely the kidnapper who had plunged you into this nightmare. The anger that overcame you was like a wild animal roaring inside you.

“You bastard,” you shouted, rushing towards him before slamming him to the ground. Your fists slammed into his body with unrestrained force as you poured all the fear, pain, and desperation of the past few days into each punch.

The air was filled with screams and the dull sound of punches as you sat on his hips, hitting him in the face again and again. The anger that had built up inside you was like a bubbling volcano that showed no mercy and all Emily and JJ could do was stand by, their eyes wide in shock as they saw your brutal determination.

“Y/n, stop!” the blonde screamed desperately as she tried to drag you away from your victim. But you didn't listen to her words. All you could think about was the torture this man had put your best friend through. The man was now just whimpering, but you still didn't stop.

Hotch also stepped forward, his face expressionless. "Y/n, that's enough. You're not going to help your friend by hurting him. HEY!" he shouted, but your mind was blinded by blind hatred and you fought Morgan's attempts to drag you back. You couldn't stop, not now that the darkness had you firmly in its grip.

It was Emily who finally found a solution. With a quick glance at JJ she nodded and together they managed to drag you away from the kidnapper. They each wrapped their arms around your shaking body from the front and back and led you away from the scene.

Your heart beat wildly in your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. The reality of your actions hit you like a blow and a feeling of shame washed over you. You collapsed into JJ's arms, exhausted and shaking from adrenaline. You, an experienced FBI agent and law enforcement officer, had let your anger get the better of you instead of trusting your training and professionalism. It was a serious mistake that you couldn't easily forget.

Emily tentatively placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on your shoulder blades. You felt the warmth in the hug and gesture that proved the strength of your friendship. Despite your mistakes and weaknesses, you had always stood by each other, and that was the only thing that mattered. "It's over, sweetie. Olivia is safe and he will get his just punishment."

You nodded silently, but the bitter aftertaste of your actions remained and when you lifted your head from JJ's shoulder, you saw Hotch leading the kidnapper away while Derek carefully led Olivia to the ambulance. The relief of knowing your best friend was safe was overwhelming.

When you got home later, you swore to yourself that you needed to control your emotions better. The darkness that had overwhelmed you in that moment was never allowed to take over again. You were an agent of the law, and that meant you had to do the right thing, even in the darkest moments. In the days that followed, you finally took time to recover. The worry and strain had taken their toll on you, but knowing that Liv was safe gave you the strength to carry on.

[t1bb1zoey]

Okay, I have screamed, squealed, hyperventilated, and smiled like a dork over this all damn day (I am by no means exaggerating).

Let's analyze this tasty ass chapter Old Xian, the fuckin legend he is, gave us on this holy day 🙌 😍

FIRST OF ALL

Bruh, they were MAKING OUT. You can even see in the other panels, Mo's lips are red and kind of puffy, so it makes you wonder how long they were going for before we popped back in again (I'm seriously going to try not to squeal all the way through writing this). The last chapter people were confused on whether it was a kiss on the lips or not. I still hold firm that it was.

NOW, LET'S LOOK AT THAT DANG KISS:

I think something very important happened here, aside from the actual physical kiss. Mo was able to, in the best way he could, articulate that he has feelings for He Tian, and He Tian also articulated in his way that he does not want to dominate or control Mo, like maybe he had in the past.

In the last chapter, He Tian knelt a little so he was not looming over Mo. I think this is important and was the first step in what He Tian was trying to do here in this interaction. Kneeling to someone's eye level means you are putting yourself on equal levels. You are taking this person seriously and you are doing your best not to be threatening or overbearing in any way.

After the first kiss that went wrong, He Tian has been controlling himself like crazy. He's still devilish at times, but flicking Mo's butt or kissing him on the cheek is not as aggressive as other things he did in the past (groping, shoving his tongue down Mo's throat, dragging an unwilling Mo places). He's backed off, and he backed off even more after learning that Mo's anxiety stems from She Li attacking, controlling, and dominating him. He Tian also learned that Mo's financial situation is no small thing and he has gained perspective into Mo's life and needs. In other words, He Tian has matured and has worked on himself so he could be someone Mo would love.

So, of course Mo loves him back now and kisses him. We pick up with both of them processing that kiss here:

So, remember, Mo knew that he was dragging He Tian to his room because he was overwhelmed with feelings and wanted to kiss him finally, but He Tian had NO IDEA what was happening until he was standing in front of Mo, so he's processing this as much as Mo is. And the way they process is so different.

I love that Mo begins trying to explain himself, but also cannot bring himself to say that he loves He Tian directly (yes LOVE, not like). He says that his mom also doesn't dislike him, the most roundabout way he could say "I like you" (but we all know he LOVES him, right?). And he continues to talk really fast and look away from He Tian, because I think for whatever reason, he's scared to see how He Tian is reacting (because Mo is insecure) and also simply because he's embarassed of course.

And how is He Tian reacting? In that panel where Mo is just word-vomiting at him, he's studying Mo. His face is calm, like he's trying to get a read on what Mo's motivations for kissing him are. He's also reluctant to let Mo go. He even continues to hold his hand when Mo goes to take the ear piercing kit from the drawer.

I think He Tian is probably feeling a combination of "Does he think this is what he has to do to repay me?" and also a bit of "please let this be real". So he makes Mo look at him, because the ear piercing kit probably sent some worry through him. He knows Mo has been preyed upon by She Li before, so He Tian is making sure Mo knows he's not the same as She Li. Remember, this was He Tian a couple hours, terrified Mo was going to reject him for being the same as She Li, and a few minutes ago, replaying what he did and feeling like he's bought into his father's violent world:

He's still carrying that with him here, the terror that Mo saw what he did and the inner-conflict about being a part of She Li and his father's dark world. In this moment, he doesn't want Mo to think he's another violent person who Mo needs to serve or placate. He explicitly says to Mo: "You're the one who saved me."

AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

It could be literal, when Mo came up behind She Li and whacked him in the head to get him off He Tian.

OR, it very likely means Mo made He Tian change for the better. He's not the same guy who forced a kiss on Mo, or who tried to control him, or who threw money at him to get Mo to do what he wanted. He's changed into someone who wants to work hard, who wants to protect goodness, who wants to be gentle and kind like Mo is. Mo did save him. He can be someone different from his father, his brother, and She Li if Mo is there to remind him how to be.

So he reminds Mo of this because he wants Mo to know that he owes He Tian nothing. He doesn't have to pierce his ear for him to show that He Tian has any sort of ownership or dominance or anything. I think He Tian missed the fact that Mo is having a rough time, even now, being direct.

For Mo, he's trying to remind He Tian of this

He's trying to say, indirectly, you can help me do this because, yes, I do like you back. But He Tian's caught up in making sure Mo's not feeling any obligation to him just because he took care of She Li. AND ISN'T THAT BOTH SO CUTE AND HILARIOUS?! 🤣

Mo's out here doing his best to let He Tian know he's ready to admit his feelings now, and He Tian's so worried for Mo that he needs to know FOR SURE this is something Mo actually wants. He has to see his face and he has to have some form of explicit confirmation before he can let himself accept what's happening. He could have just gone in for another kiss on his own, but he wouldn't do it. For He Tian, he does not want to "disgust" Mo ever again. It's full consent or nothing. So, after making it clear that Mo owes him nothing, he asks him outright, "tell me what you want".

And poor Mo's still having a hard time. He can't say the words quite yet, and that's okay. For Mo, I think actually asking for something he truly wants is quite difficult, because nothing goes well for him. Wanting anything is a dangerous game for him, so even just saying it out loud is like a jinx for him, like the universe will hear and He Tian will be taken away (and we do know he will be and I don't know how Mo's going to handle that). So he just points. It's the best he can do. He Tian's just gonna have to accept that.

And the SECOND he gets the confirmation he needed, He Tian kisses Mo again. IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD FEEL LIKE?! The person you've been blood-sweat-and-tears-ing for tells you they want you back??! He Tian's ear blushes in that panel where Mo points to him, because NOW it hits him that yes, this is real. The boy of his dreams actually wants him back!

And it's the gentlest kiss ever. It's so sweet and heartfelt. I'm really proud of He Tian's and Mo's character development. I would say He Tian has evolved more than Mo, just because we see that he's learned his lesson here fully and Mo is still fighting to voice his wants, but man both characters have come so far.

And He Tian says he'll give Mo anything. Anything. Mo's out here trying to give He Tian things (literal soup, a place to stay, piercing his ear), and He Tian turns around and says NO, YOU OWE ME NOTHING AND I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING. He Tian was going to straight up murder She Li for Mo. He was going to KILL someone.

I saw someone on here say that in the English language, we have no equivalent to what He Tian said here. He basically told Mo anything he was, is, and ever will be, anything he can get his hands on for Mo, anything he can do for Mo, for all time, forever and ever, is Mo's. He exists for Mo now.

LIKE???

I'M SORRY, WHAT???

Guys, they are married. All these rings and earrings and shit. Like, this is the vow that accompanies them.

I just ... I can't?

Wonderful and BRAVE chapter from Old Xian. I will NEVER get over it.

[midnightkolrath]

Time for another chapter of 'Leo analyzing DMC stuff' with something that woke me up at 4 AM to think about, as a sudden ponder point

So, the series has a running joke of impalement, namely with Dante being impaled by some sort of sword. Mostly his own sword, though. This little running gag comes full circle in DMC5, when Dante laments on why he was given Rebellion and decides to impale himself with the handle that then proceeds to combine with the Sparda sword to unlock his Sin Devil Trigger form.

But thinking about this more, I realized that this sort of thing has been common, not just with Dante himself.

Though, I'm gonna start talking about his thing with DMC3 here.

With the DMC5 screenshot I've included with Dante's dialogue, plus thinking back about that very moment in DMC3, we know Dante unlocked his devil trigger thanks to Vergil through impalement of his own sword. This is THE main moment we see of a form like devil trigger be unlocked this way.

But, funny enough, if we fast forward into DMC4...we get yet another moment where we have our protag be impaled and awoken to atleast a FORM of their devil trigger...with Nero.

As a side tidbit, the details of this awakening are elaborated in the DMC4 novel, Deadly Fortune, where Nero recalls a dream he had after gaining his demonic arm, featuring a familiar voice (that we know is Vergil) that he remembers again as he went temporarily unconscious. (Though in the novel its implied he temporarily died before reviving...it states his 'heartbeat stopped', though the way its pictured in the game...who completely knows).

This moment of remembrance is what triggers not only the first (incomplete) form of Nero's devil trigger, but the reconstruction of the Yamato. This is the second time the domino effect of being stabbed (or perhaps simply overwhelmed in Nero's case...though Agnus did rub the salt in similarly to Vergil against Dante...not with his own sword but with a sword-like object...maybe its a parallel) resulted in the awakening of a devil trigger, or a newfound power.

Now, if we do the fun thing and roll both forward and back, we'll see that Dante and Nero weren't the only ones that experienced a power awakening this way. Thanks to Visions of V, we get a short flashback of Vergil's childhood. This included the very moment there was the demon attack that killed Eva and separated the twins, sending them on their own paths.

A VERY significant moment we (tragically) get to see is a young Vergil getting attacked by these demons, while he's alone. Its horrifying, but also shares a similar theme though much more brutally.

In fact, its similar to Nero's case, which involves impalement like Dante but grows into being overwhelmed to the point of helplessness. ALSO funny enough, its this bit of helplessness, of feeling that power is NEEDED to get themselves out of the situation they're in to survive for one way or another...that Yamato comes right to their side. When its needed most.

This is, for Vergil, an awakening to what would become his path to gain power at any cost, to never have to feel this helplessness again while also being haunted about the lack of strength he had to protect his mother.

Its interesting that this moment mirrors Nero's claim to yamato in DMC4, with even the desire and call for more power led to Yamato returning to its restored form and going to Nero's side. Like father, like son.

My original point, though, was how a funny ironic running joke of being impaled one way or another in this series apparently leads to awakening of power or resolve for the Sparda clan. This series has many running themes if you look for them, but this is one I've noticed lately. I wonder if Sparda himself went through something like this in his time (heh).

[qqueenofhades]

thank you for your post i’m doing my best to stay informed on the conflict and i’m very young. i feel guilty being quiet as i understand to uplift voices helps prevent their silencing but this has lead me to not critically think about what i’m spreading

it’s been a long month. i’m only a kid and watching the world go to shit like this has been awful, I always wondered how millennials who lived through post nine eleven imperialism coped and god i’m still not sure how.

I am as a white gentile in a position of privilege and mostly my own person is unaffected by the uptick in violence and evil in the world right now. But my friends who i see every day are in more danger due to this conflict and i feel awful that i cannot ever fully understand or fix the deaths of people.

Right now I’m being a bit too reactionary. I’m doing my best but in the end I am not immune to fearmongering and propoganda, especially in these last couple sleepless weeks.

So thank you and everyone who is keeping level heads and desconstructing what’s happening. I’m sorry and i strive to be better. Thank you.

To anyone living in fear right now i’m so sorry. I will listen when you speak.

Once again I just want to say that I am a busy and uninformed student, and I wish that i had more teachers and authority figures that had objective facts to tell me. It’s suffocating to have fake news everywhere but feel powerless if you don’t know anything

it’s ok if you don’t respond to this

Thank you for your post

Thanks for this message and for taking the time to put it into words and to reflect on your own actions and rhetoric. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to admit that you were wrong and that you want to do better, and I'm not going to rip into you or blame you or otherwise shame you for it. So I hope this gives you the confidence to read on without feeling like you'll be raked over the coals for it, and open you to hear some ideas for doing things differently.

First, I do have a ton of sympathy for you as a young person who feels overwhelmed and exhausted by all the evil in the world, and is wondering how to get through it, react to it, or otherwise make some kind of moral response in the face of this soul-crushing trauma. I will say here that I am a little bit older than your average Tumblr user (the majority of this site is in their early-mid twenties), I do personally remember 9/11 and its aftermath when a lot of people here weren't even born yet, and I am an academic historian with a doctorate. That does not mean I am better or smarter or More Perfect or whatever at what I say, but it means that I do have a considerable amount of institutional, formal, and professional practice at analyzing a lot of complex information, putting it into words, breaking it down for less-specialist audiences, pointing out logical fallacies, and so forth.

That is not a skill that everyone has, and in the face of nonstop 24-hour news-cycle social media information overload, it can be incredibly difficult to parse it or understand how you're supposed to respond to it or what your moral obligation in response to this knowledge might be. I wrote this ask the other day in response to someone else asking how to improve their critical thinking skills and be more discerning about what they understood, shared, and analyzed. I strongly encourage you to read it, as it addresses a lot of what you're saying about feeling negative, depressed, panicked, angry, and all the other emotions that are naturally evoked in you from reading this stuff nonstop and feeling like the only thing you can (or should) do is immerse your brain in it at all times. In short, that is absolutely the worst environment to do actual substantial analysis or critical thinking, and it is designed so on purpose.

It has been said before, but it bears repeating: the human brain simply is not designed to be constantly aware of all the atrocities in the world and thus (thanks to social media) feeling as if the only way they can do anything about it is to then post the Correct Opinions on social media (regardless of whether these are informed or relevant or otherwise useful). Especially now, the rush to demonstrate Correct Thinking has warped a lot of otherwise well-meaning young people into becoming eager disinformation mouthpieces. There are a TON of explicitly bad-faith actors and far-right fascists who are posting pro-Palestine content (factual or uh, otherwise) because they know that's an instant way to get an audience of said young left-leaning people who will then be suckered into and exposed to their far more dangerous content and mindset, because that is how radicalization works. Even in the support of an obviously worthy cause, you and everyone else ARE NOT IMMUNE to fearmongering, disinformation, and virulently anti-Semitic propaganda, especially when it's being eagerly and constantly offered in a deliberate attempt to radicalize you further into violence and conspiracy theories, turn you against other vulnerable groups and people, and explicitly disengage you from the electoral/political process, which will harm the Democrats and other liberal establishment parties in favor of more far-right radical fascist theocrats and otherwise make everything, everywhere, many orders of magnitude worse.

I know the feeling that you need to do something, and since you're a long way from the conflict, it seems as if posting on social media is the best and/or the only way to go about it. In that environment, and especially right now, you will make mistakes. I know it is difficult in an online environment where popularity or acceptance by your peers often rests on never being wrong about anything (i.e. saying the same thing everyone else is saying), but it always helps to think about what you're doing, what you're saying, and if you actually need the approval of people who are conditioning you, implicitly or explicitly, into negative and violent ideological nihilism.

The hardest thing to understand is that yes, there is a lot of terrible shit going on in the world; no, you cannot personally fix it and you have to accept that as a limitation; yes, there are many multiple and complex causes and reasons for its existence and there is almost never a black-and-white simplistic moral solution that just hasn't been magically implemented yet; yes, it is always worth it to take the time to inform yourself and consider what you're saying, where it comes from, who it helps and who it hurts, and why you feel the need to say it in the first place. Of course you want to help. Of course you want to stop the needless suffering and death that has gone on in the world for millennia and unfortunately, as long as humans are humans, will continue to do so. But even so, take it away Gandalf:

[batterygarden]

More Aki bf headcannons

prev aki hcs & m.list

cw: gn!reader sfw but no minors on my page pls

If you’re ever overwhelmed.. Aki is your list maker. He always does it without you noticing—he’ll be like “okay can you repeat all the things you have to get done today one more time…” then he’s ripping a page off his cutesy little fridge notepad when you’re finished talking and it has all of your goals written in a bulleted list. He’ll go through it with you one more time to see which things he can help with. 

Your appointment maker too. And he’ll go to the doctor with you if you’re nervous, holding your hand when you’re talking to people (No matter the appointment or procedure you will force this man to stay in the room; there is no boundaries there) 

He’ll be sitting there clarifying your symptoms for you when the doctor misinterprets things. 

He loves looking at you. This should go without saying—he thinks you’re beautiful and he loves you, but he watches you like it’s his job. 

He doesn’t need entertainment, he doesn’t need something to keep him busy while you’re doing other things—it’s enough for him to just observe you, studying your every movement with a look of content concentration on his face.

He’s just so interested in how you do things—mostly mundane, everyday tasks. He’s conscious of the fact that he can’t view you objectively anymore when the grip of a pencil between your fingers seems endearing and the way you wiggle your arms into shirt sleeves in the morning captivates him more than any movie could. Your careful movements while cooking, the faces you make when you brush your teeth, the way you pick fuzz off clothes—Aki is the one to study it all. 

He’s certain he could fill a library with all the little details he’s noticed, and if one already existed he knows he’d spend every waking minute inside, studying more. 

Aki is the man to claim to not want any pets till you come home with one someday. He’d be sooo grumpy towards you that evening, holding the little furry baby in his arms and staring at it like a mother stares at her newborn child before pausing to glare at you like “I did not okay this >:(“ 

Of course he becomes an instant helicopter dad, taking a billion pictures of the animal, documenting its growth, buying it endless toys and treats.

He ends up spoiling this lil guy way more than you too. 

“He can have a little whipped cream you fucking dictator!” 

He sneezes so loudly probably and you always side eye him and he’s like “sorry for sneezing??? Do you want an apology??” 

He’s a lawfully evil notes app user. Fucking breaking it out when no one’s looking and writing about a questionable thing someone did to talk to you about it later. He takes general notes on people too, writing their birthdays so he doesn’t forget and casually jotting down gift ideas when someone mentions their interests. He’s well within his rights to do all this but to you it feels unfair—like he’s always bringing extra study materials to tests you have to go in blind for. 

“No one’s stopping you from taking notes too. It’s honestly really helpful.” “I’m not gonna stoop to analyzing strangers on my phone, weirdo!” 

Is annoyed at the fact you don’t know how to pirate things. “A torte?” “A torrent!” He looks at you like you just asked a kindergarten level math question. “You need to know this, it’s important. So once you’ve found a magnet link..” 

he treats you like a fucking baby if you’re ever under the influence and he’s not. 

He’ll buckle you in while driving—holding no trust for your drunk brain. 

“Aki noo I can buckle myself!” He glares at you for a second then continues to do it for you but more slowly. 

When you remember that your sober self left a pomegranate in the fridge, you have immediate intentions to cut into that thing but the knife is out of your hand before you can even blink. 

Aki shakes his head while he slices it for you on a cutting board, muttering under his breath about saving money on hospital bills.

Social gatherings with Aki are great, but your favorite part is always getting back home so you can deconstruct the evening. Aki is a grade A gossip I swear, he will bring up all the points you were thinking and more. He LIVES for your cozy nights in pajamas, discussing your friends’ relationship drama and your coworker’s affair. 

He is such a considerate person to live with. He often wakes up before you for work but he’s always tip-toeing around in the mornings not to wake you, shutting cabinets so quietly and taking out pans all slow and careful. He’ll usually leave some of whatever breakfast he made in a Tupperware for you when you finally do awaken, making note of it on his handy fridge sticky notes, always with an added “have a good day, pretty” and a messy lil heart. 

This man has mild anxiety I say!! Especially with sleeping, he can’t do it the same if he isn’t touching you—he needs to know you’re safe and okay next to him.

He also appreciates your frequent texts about nothing in particular for this reason, it keeps him reassured that everything’s okay. 

Speaking of texting, Aki acts like the little memes and videos you send are dumb and his sense of humor is above them, but he secretly finds you SO hilarious. 

Like he chuckles when he’s by himself just thinking of some of the stupid things you’ve sent him. 

One time he saved a reaction pic you sent, never telling you how funny he found it, and sent it to Denji when it worked perfectly in their text conversation like 3 months later. Only the meme was so old by that point that it made him look out of touch :/ 

You remind him of it every time you show him a tweet or something and he doesn’t laugh or react, saying he’ll probably save it and send it to people later in secret. 

If there’s errors no there isn’t <3

I was also given a request for these geared towards shy reader,, hopefully I post that tmrw