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#n that reminds me of what keeps me going
crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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a slight continuation of this
no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldn’t care if it was a little uneven, but you’re going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.
which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it is—who else would it be? you figured he’s already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadn’t blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but it’s on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.
you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?
….but it doesn’t hurt to hear the hero beg for you.
“What do you want, Bakugou?” You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesn’t say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what he’s been bothering you for.
“Who’s the fuckin’ loser that’s gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?” Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.
“None of your damn business, Bakugou.” You snap at him, wondering if it’s too late to find something else to wear. “Not like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.” Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.
“I told you this before, I’m always—”
“Busy.” You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections he’s splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. “You reminded me of how busy you’ve been since you first started this whole situationship.”
“Situation—? Huh? We were dating!” Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.
“You’d have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.” You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You don’t know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure you’re still on for tonight.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?
“Let me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.” His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldn’t respond, should reply back a yes to your date.
“Please? You know how much you mean to me.” Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why haven’t you said yes to your date yet?
“I’ll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.” Bakugou’s voice is so soft, you’ve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.
Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?
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spotsupstuff · 10 months
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Did saint ever ascend biting notos? Also how was the gang’s reunion in the void?
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of course Saint has! after all, its sole reason for existence is this. no matter how lonely and difficult the quest will be for it, everyone has to go
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as for your second question... my god as u can see i went off on the first one, this is legit the biggest comic i've ever done- i'll do some stuff for the reunion in the void at a later point i prommy 😩✌ it'd be better like that either way. these guys haven't been introduced enough for my tastes for the big relief ending yet
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celestie0 · 8 days
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when ppl get too caught up in the accuracy of situations in fanfiction or if things are super realistic or as they should/would be in real life etc etc im like. my tumblr user in christ. it's fanfiction.
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prototypelq · 8 months
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...do you think Dante ever realised how Vergil-like he was acting around Patty? She was quite obnoxious in the anime, did he ever think 'oh no is this what being Vergil felt like?', or 'was I ever this annoying?'...
Knowing Patty did him a lot of good, do you think it, per chance, also reminded him of happier times in his and Vergil's childhood when they just played together and annoyed each other all the time?...only to, of course squash those nicer memories the moment Patty leaves, because then the reminders of what he's done come crashing down....
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goldensunset · 2 months
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‘my lord n is a kind and excellent person who understands the hearts of pokémon. but conversely, perhaps his ability to understand the hearts and feelings of people is not developed enough. but… even that was part of the perfection of ghetsis’ plan.’ SHUT UUUUP I SWEAR!!!!
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dizzybevvie · 1 year
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IMPORTANT INFO WHEN I QENT TO ADD YOUR ASK TAG TO THE ASK YOU SENT ME THE FIRST THIBG THAT CAME UP WAS YOR TAG BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS BEVERLIN. MWAH
AHHHHHH DJSDJSBDJSBSJSHHDBDWWKJFVEHRVF HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS!!!!!
#THE FACT THAT YOU CAME AND TOLD ME THIS.... SCREAMINGKSBDKSBKDD BD#when i tagged it as beverly tag to keep it I also saw the Beverlin Foreverlin tsg and got a little giddy#THEY MAKE ME SO SAD RHEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY THEY ARE FROLOCKING THROUGH FLOWERS THEY ARE CHILD SOLDIERS UGHHHHHH#eds Erlin isnt gonna show up for another like 60 episodes now ndbskdbsmbddn#GOD THEY MAKE ME SO PROFOUNDLY SAD#thinking abt when Bev kissed that one boy because he reminded him of Erlin and he was afraid for himself and for Erlin and just did it#for comfort but ended up causing so much more stress and when he tells Erlin hes obviously distraught because hes 15 and its the worst#news EVER#n Erlin has always been trying to prove himself to Beverly and and and and he takes it really well but the actual apocalypse is happening#so hes at the end he just leaves and says 'Im not mad at you dude. Its the end of the world.' AHHHHHH HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN H#but they end up making up and they dance together at the green teen jamboreen and journal together and and and#and theyre best friends and they grew up together and they play arcade games together and and and and and UHHHHHHHHHHHH#this got mildly somber but this is a /pos i adore them they make me so happy#ERLIN TAUGHT HIM HOW TO DO TOUCH HANDS. WHICH HE USES TO BRING ERLIN BACK TO LIFE AND. UHHHHHHH POETRY#WHAT AN HONOUR WHAT AN INJUSTICE ETC ETC#UGH... THANK YOU LMAIFNSKDBNSBDJSBD I HAVE TO KEEP LISTENING NOW I HAVE TO KEEP GOING#faves#THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY THEY MAKE ME SO SAD THEY ARE BESTIES THEY ARE IN LOVE THEY ARE MY GREATEST ENEMIES#I feel sick oh no not agsin disbdkbsjfvdbdbsns#WHAT HAVE I DONE LMAOBFKSBDJSBBDBSIDVS IVE BROUGHT BACK THE INTEREST NOOOOOOOOO#eddie tag#this is ur fsult /j#naddpod#apollo says stuff#beverly tag
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"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:
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And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.
Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.
Much love. xxx
please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]
ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—
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sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.
(i am feeling unhinged about it)
SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:
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The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore
^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this
that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.
it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.
maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.
sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3
#liv in the replies#every time you send me a message i do the thing where i’ve got heart emojis for thumbs & cease any coherency#FIRSTLY chris driedger who i loved as seattle’s goalie without even knowing the story:#dreidger fourth layer of a dream is making me tear up AGAIN hours later as i try to write this the echl the coast easy come hard to leave &#when he talks about being somebody’s guy laying my head down in the bog & dragging my hands over my face chris who let you say that. who let#u break my HEART i truly don’t think i will ever recover from the inception reference bc that’s what they all talk abt u know? the nhl dream#the players’ tribune articles are often some of the most poetic & touching sports writing & every time i am reminded i lose my shit about it#SECONDLY:#the ever present spectre of dylan’s first boyfriend zach werenski#i have so so so many quotes? drafts? posts? about the thing with saying someone’s name to call them closer to you i say your name to speak#more of you into the world so i will possibly look for some of those to say what i mean but also: this poem was originally reminiscent of#willingly by tess gallagher which is my ajax jack / superbuddies poem & this specifically did go with the a drop of paint / the light has#fallen through you part of it but there’s a part of THIS poem which i did not include that talks about the late light / has already happened#will go on happening forever & that whole poem with this now to say i know it’s embarrassing i’m asking for it :: easy to write about light#like falling asleep on the couch & having to carry yourself up to bed is the dylan/zach heartbreak of this. waiting & waiting for the things#you used to do & the love you used to / were promised to have with the hope that if you keep the coffee ready he’ll come drink it & instead#you have too many cups of tea one yours & one cold then half-warmed over & too sweet for your tastes but you’ve learned to drink it anyway#okAY now third:#this w/the UMICH BOYS? N O I DIDN’T EVEN!!! NOT A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN!!! & now i can’t stop thinking!!! & i had an entire PLAYLIST already#a ??? while ago before i even truly knew the umich boys Narratives™️ i heard maude latour’s song ‘one more weekend’ & went hahaha isn’t that#a great song for when you have that One Summer of college before everyone splits off into their own lives? isn’t that a fun little umich boy#going into the nhl narrative?? to which i said NO but then it spiraled into a playlist &now there is delightful heartbreak to go with vibes#umich scholars please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong on any points i can’t remember anything presently about anything#also the f a c t that that vegas picture is real and i know exactly what you’re talking about is making me %^•*]+£’ bc how!! is that real!!!#okay ALSO just throwing in brinksy like a casual AHAHA have brainworm for a year (my autocorrect tried to go bringst like angst which. lmao)#connor and dylan… all of my journeymen… we did not touch that because i WILL start yelling about sam gagner and marc staal and#the chrysalis and the caterpillar
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ciderjacks · 10 months
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Its so annoying. and like all of my friends who i will actually bother to reach out to are either not available *last time i checked* or in a different state. WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME?
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akinachiri · 1 year
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fun fact! i use machine gun poem doll as a warmup song!!!
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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and if i think of jo being really good at extremely niche things for masato's sake who's going to stop me
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savageday6 · 2 years
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i had a really good day outdoors with one of my good friends today :> and while waiting for her i stumbled across a mum's anecdote on insta of how private kang (our beloved katusa soldier!!!) spent hours playing with her kids... and wonpil's little letter to us today telling us not to get hurt again... thank u universe for placing these precious people and stories together in my life this afternoon bc i really needed those happy vibes
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wavernot4love · 2 months
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alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget
(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):
(note there will be setlist spoilers)
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- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!
Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).
also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.
(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)
- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.
- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.
- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.
- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)
- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.
- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include
- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)
- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍‍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh
- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.
- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).
- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.
- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.
- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.
- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)
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- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)
anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)
edit: someone added a few more!!!
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anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.
and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.
this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!
#it is safe to say i have genuinely endless respect & admiration for this person who happens to be my favorite artist in the world#i could not be happier or moreso in my neutral state of how i feel like things should be than i am at the ag show#also the more i hear him talk the more i realize homie reminds me of... me.#not in a “me modeling my behaviors after him because i look up to him” kinda way#though i certainly have picked up on small things there like i tend to with folks#like phrases and the like#but no#moreso just in a “the two of us happen to share some innate similarities in regards to a buncha stuff” kinda way#just an observation. in hindsight i wonder if i subconsciously picked up on this back when i was first getting into his music#n that contributed to it resonating with me so much#i don't know man i just know i'm glad 2 have this dude's music in my life and to see homie thriving#truly hope we can meet @ a show sometime soon so i can dive into how much of a positive impact he's had on my life. i have so much to say!!#i tried to make that happen at this show i really did#i just guess it wasn't meant 2 happen then. and that is okay!! i know it will whenever it's meant to.#going back to what i said about everything just feeling.... right at the show i keep thinking about how while i miss that already#and am kinda having a crisis where in my head i feel like i'm still there (or should be) as opposed 2 here back in regular just. life#i'm just glad and lucky moments like this show are a real thing that can be my life at all.#basically i just mean the vibe of ag shows feels like everything i define my life by really#realized as something/place i can actually physically experience.#shows r my safe space that embody everything i dream about when i'm just going about day to day life#live music is everything 2 me & that's only amplified exponentially by folks like anthony that get it & turn shows even moreso into a home#thanks for reading if you have#i'm truly glad to have this space where i feel like i can talk about Everything#i love that on here the “oversharing” thing is just a thing everyone does#actually that ties back to what i brought up about anthony#i respect how unapologetically open that dude is in ways that might be “too much” for some people & really connect 2 that#point is i am so grateful for days like this and music like this and people like this#anthony green#circa survive#wavernot4love talks ag tunes
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neverendingford · 6 months
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#tag talk#vent#idk. I've been dissociating worse than normal recently. leaving the stove on. forgetting to clock out at work.#I've caught myself spacing out more. staring at the same place and I know how long it's been because I look back through my music queue#I'll flip back five songs until I finally find one I remember listening to. I can't do anything without constant music or other audio#I feel like I'm not myself. or.. idk. not in my body. and I don't know who's piloting it. we're both tired and dead.#I don't know what autopilot program is running this body but it's not very good.#I keep realizing that time is passing but I'm not the one spending those minutes#I'm afraid to drive anywhere because I don't know if I can safely drive. I've just been so faded into the background#I just. idk. this stress is fucking me up and I need to keep moving forward I need to keep moving forward I need to keep moving forward I n#but everything is so hard everything takes so long everything is going to be so much more work#and I keep fighting the trained bit in my head that keeps reminding me how well we slept the day after I drained my blood into the tub#how empty and clear my head was in the three days I recovered from opening myself up#I want to be back there. a closed environment. no more worries about my responsibilities.#to be fair. I did spend a pretty bad night with panic attacks and flashbacks and shit so I shouldn't idealize it so much#yeah. hmmmm. I think I've done my best to not think about. but it wasn't all That great#idk. I just. I'm so distant right now. the input lag is hard to work with. I'm zooming in just to see anything.#I'm traveling backwards at constant acceleration and yet somehow I'm still present in the world#my ears drone and the pressure builds in the back of my head but I still have work tomorrow and I can't afford to die#I have too many things to do and I know I will feel better in a few weeks#but also. Christmas is coming up. religious trauma is gonna be a constant zap in my brainstem until January#I was gonna rip a new one but I decided to shower first And Then do it but I lost motivation after the shower so uh I guess I've healed?#like. I just... don't wanna anymore. which is a testament to my recovery over the past five years I suppose.#idk. I'm gonna make it through but I'm not gonna be happy about it
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angelltheninth · 6 months
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Michael Goes Feral After Unlocking His Breeding Kink
Pairing: Michael Afton x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, breeding kink, leg lock, creampie, feral!Michael Afton
A/N: I have a headache so I didn't get to write the other things I wanted to for today but I did manage to get this done.
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It was an accident you swear it, you just wanted to feel Michael closer, deeper, you wanted to hold him against you, feel his chest against yours, feel his body on top of you, get that last kiss in before he had to leave for work. So you pulled him closer, you locked your legs around him just as he was about to come.
You didn't think about the fact that he wasn't wearing a condom, or that you'll have to go to the drug store after this, you only wanted Michael's cock deep inside you.
But the moment you prevented him from pulling out there was a change in him. First a brief hesitation as he let himself sink back in, his throat bobbing at the implications of the act and what it would mean if he were to get you pregnant. Next was the wonderful image of it, your big belly, feeling the baby kick, getting to name it with you, getting to become a dad, making you a mother. "Wanna have a kid?" He blurted out, smirking to himself before you got to reply to him.
"You... mean that? But Michael, you just started your job. It's be bad if... ah... are you even listening to me?" All the while you kept talking he didn't stop his hips once, "We gott-aah... think abou-t... mmn... can't think..." It was hard to, with him constantly reminding you of how full you were.
"Fine, okay. But at least let me come inside you, please I wanna come inside your cunt." When Michael starts swearing you know how horny he is. "Really need this tonight babe." He grunted, his hands grabbing your thighs and keeping them locked around himself, "I'll fill you up good tonight okay? It's what you want right?"
You could see the little bits of doubt on his face and decided to kiss them away, "Want you close. If you want to... yes, you can do it inside. Give me your cock, cum, you... can do what you want."
What started as a little quickie before work just as easily turned into Michael hammering his hard cock into you with brute force only he possessed, watching his cum spill out of you, "No, no, no, no. Inside, that stays inside, you told me to fill you up, that's what I'll do, I won't let you down. I promise sweetheart." He was getting almost frantic, "You're gonna be so... perfect... when I put a baby into you, fuck you full of my seed." Michael quickly fell in love with that idea, shooting another hot, sticky white strings of cum into your womb.
He kept doing this night after night after night before he went to work, even if you took the after pill it didn't matter to him. As long as he got to leave with you dripping full of his cum then his job for the day was done. To think that all you needed to do to unlock that feral side of him was to lock your legs around him, how funny.
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strawbebyjam · 7 months
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scoreplings · 9 months
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my parents are disappointed in me to a degree that hurts to think about & i am slowly going broke & i cant be with my boyfriend most nights even though i hate hate hate sleeping without him & my room is a mess & i can't find a job & everything in life is terrifying to me
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