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#one person i emailed it to thanked me and said he appreciated it
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#i don't keep enough alcohol in the house#wait a second i just found some holy shit#i was about to follow that sentence with 'guell ill have to take an edible or two'#cuz ive had two glasses of wine but that is simply not enough. but that was all i could find#OR SO I THOUGHT#just found a bottle of some margarita shit#im probs still gonna takr an edible or two later#but until then. i have yummy alcohol#yeah i know dont mix alcohol with other yhings or whatever#tbh i dont give a shit#i put 1.5 years of work into something that means a lot to me#something that I THOUGHT meant a lot to othr people#ao i poured my fucking heart and soul and ONE AND A HALF YEARS into it#i transcribed shit. and do you know how difficult transcribing is? and sending emails and texts to relevant people#and figuring out the fucking TABLE OF CONTENTS on google docs#but all of the people i texted it to just peft me on read#one person i emailed it to thanked me and said he appreciated it#but let's be real for a second. there was only one person i truly wanted a reply from#and i knew in my heart that i definitely wouldnt get a reply#but god i just wanted her to text me. and say it was good. and say she wants to be friends again...#but that was the stupidest fucking thing i ever couldve hoped for#i broke our promise. i contacted her. and somehow i thought breaking that promise would win her over??#but i couldnt stop myself from hoping and now here i am. drinking 5.5% wine and 10% margarita mix because its all i have in the house#i dont want to think about it anymore#but i have my ringer on. in case anyone wants to email or text back#in case she wants to email or text back...#gonna go drink now
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ahundredtimesover · 4 months
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I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 14.8k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
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A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I can’t get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! 🤗 Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. 🤭 Hoping you enjoy this one!
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
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The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkook’s penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, there’s a mix of emotions you’re carrying with you. 
You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, who’d said they’ll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-woo’s cooking and the girls’ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your mother’s embrace as you told her about your week. You didn’t want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isn’t being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough. 
“I wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,” she’d told you softly. “All I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.”
“And you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,” you’d assured her. “Jungkook is many things but he’s not a terrible person. I can handle him.”
And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but he’s not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didn’t email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didn’t apologize to you nor show remorse. 
Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isn’t in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, it’s a pretty quick change, if you could call it that. 
Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesn’t find a reason to complain about you. 
Unlocking the door, you’re surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit you’ve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him. 
You’re in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hair’s a bit disheveled and she’s wearing one of Jungkook’s coats that you saw in his closet. 
“Uh, who are you?” The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now. 
Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize she’s not wearing anything underneath so you look away.
You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend, at least that’s what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkook’s been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesn’t know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe he’s—
“Hey, I’m talking to you,” she says, sounding more annoyed now. 
“Oh. Uh, I’m Mr. Jeon’s—”
“She’s my assistant,” Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadn’t noticed him walk in. 
He’s not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as you’re rooted in place. 
The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.
“Just your assistant?” She asks, sounding incredulous. 
“Yeah. What else would she be?” Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement you’d seen last Friday. “Just eggs on toast. And coffee.”
“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast. 
“I don’t know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,” she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesn’t sound amused.
“What are you still doing here?” He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. “I called a service for you last night.”
“I was too tired,” she says, and you don’t miss the sultry tone of her voice now. “You tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.”
“And why are you still here?” He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing. 
“Because I’m still tired,” she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen. 
You feel tense once more; you definitely don’t want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.
“And I was thirsty,” she continues. 
He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her. 
“Ugh, how romantic,” she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps. 
“I have to go to work,” he tells her, frustrated that she’s being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around. 
“Actual work, or, you know, work?” She says, gesturing towards you.
You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. It’s insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkook’s getting pissed.
“Can you just leave?” He says much more sternly now. “I can’t start my day with you still here.”
“Ooh, how rude,” she giggles. “Should’ve expected you’d be like that even outside of bed. I like that.”
She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. You’re unsure if it’s because of her or from last night’s alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal. 
The woman comes back shortly in last night’s attire then walks towards Jungkook.
“I’m leaving,” she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. “I’ll see you again, yeah?”
Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if there’s a joke that only she’s in on.
“Going all quiet on me now, huh?” She says. “You weren’t like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.”
You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing there’s another person in the room with them. You don’t know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, it’s working, as you’re unable to focus on the task at hand now. 
Jungkook still doesn’t say anything, and it’s what prompts her to finally say goodbye. 
“Fine, I’ll leave now,” she whines. “But that was an amazing first time. I hope it won’t be the last.”
Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, “I’ll see you again, okay? I’ll make sure you’ll scream my name next time,” the words obviously directed at Jungkook. 
She finally exits the penthouse but she doesn’t take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.
Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesn’t know what he’s more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesn’t remember didn’t go home, or that you’d found out about it in the most embarrassing way and he’d done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because that’s definitely what she was doing. 
He doesn’t know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldn’t have been good. Not that he’s ashamed of his lifestyle but it’s different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadn’t. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe that’s what you think of him is making him feel uneasy. 
Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesn’t want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if he’s some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if that’s kind of what he does. 
The hangover doesn’t help at all; he shouldn’t have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he won’t be seeing her again after this morning because she’d been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.
“Mr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,” you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts. 
He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Friday’s meeting and this week’s schedule. 
“So—”
“Wait, give me a minute,” he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and he’s gonna have to push through today’s busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it. 
“Okay, sir,” you say softly.
He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesn’t even know if you’ve had anything to eat yet. 
“Have you had breakfast?” He asks.
“E-excuse me?”
“Breakfast. Have you had it?”
“O-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,” you respond.
He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what it’s like for you every morning. 
“Why don’t you drive?”
“I don’t have a car, sir.”
“Shouldn’t that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?”
“It isn’t. I believe only the CEO’s assistant does,” you respond. 
“Bitna has a company car.”
“Ms. Jung requested that when she was still President.”
“Then I’ll request one for you. It's… it’s too early. And you can’t always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.”
Of course, he’d want you to get a car so that you’re more accessible to him. Just when you thought there’s actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isn’t.
“That’s true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,” you say. “I also don’t know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and I’ll let you know if I will be late.”
Jungkook just hums, even if there’s more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if there’s a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that. 
He lets it go; it’s too early to think about this.
“Good. We can run through the minutes now,” he says.
So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and you’re able to for the most part, but it’s not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table that’s just hard to look away from. 
You’ve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesn’t help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time. 
What also doesn’t help are the woman’s words from earlier, as she’d managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how he’d been last night. You don’t know what she intended by doing that, but you didn’t miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that he’s rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you could’ve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person. 
He also sounds like the guys you’ve slept with.
The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldn’t be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you. 
You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance. 
He stands up, and just when you thought he’d be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.
“You can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if it’s just crackers you eat in the morning,” he says. 
Yes, you think to yourself. You’ve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds… too domestic. 
“Thank you, but I’m okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.”
“It’s not proper breakfast, though,” he argues. 
“With all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.”
Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that you’re unable to take care of yourself because of him. 
“You’re not a servant, Ms. Cho. You’re not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.”
“You have standards, Mr. Jeon,” you say, throwing his words back at him. You don’t expect to see his face fall a little, and you’re surprised that you seem to care. “I need to meet them, and I’m still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I don’t mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you don’t. I just… I want to be able to do things right and I’m still learning.”
The words hit Jungkook. He knows he’d been too critical during these first weeks, and that’s more because he’s unable to manage the initial attraction that he’s trying so hard to temper. He could’ve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started. 
You’ve also been doing this for a few years. You’ve been working for the VP’s office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet you’re the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldn’t be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks he’s worse than his old man now. 
But the word sorry isn’t in his vocabulary. He’d rarely ever said it, and the only reason he’d heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because they’d hurt his feelings. He doesn’t know what that’s like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. They’re foreign to him, but somehow those are what you’re making him want to know. 
“I—”
“Can we move on, Mr. Jeon?” You interrupt him. “You have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.”
“Right, that’s today,” Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster. 
He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed. 
Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - he’s relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.
You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like it’s familiar but also something new. It’s refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable. 
He’s caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesn’t react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesn’t know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; he’d like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down. 
You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next month’s event with the art industry professionals that you’re both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.
“I’ll schedule my visit at Taehyung’s tailor shop that day then,” Jungkook states. “I’ll have a few suits done.”
“Noted, Mr. Jeon,” you reply, adjusting his calendar. 
He doesn’t say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as he’s engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you can’t deny Jungkook’s talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you don’t know if he actually practices it. 
You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldn’t pursue it because he’s expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if he’d always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; you’d wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldn’t afford drawing classes and that profession just didn’t seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this. 
The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person who’d made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesn’t deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, that’s what you gave him. You learned that he’s quite mesmerizing when he doesn’t talk or when he isn’t scowling. You also learned you’re quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little. 
You groan internally. There’s a lot you don’t know about him and you don’t really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern -  should not happen again. 
Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired that’s got him this disturbed. 
It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and he’s now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and you’re left to wonder what’s going on behind closed doors and what’s got him angry and frustrated.
You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everything’s okay, if Jungkook is okay.
“Yeah, he’s fine,” Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something you’re only a tad familiar with. “He’ll manage.”
He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If it’s personal, it’s clearly not your business. But if it’s work-related, then it is. You’re there to make things easier for him, after all. You also don’t want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so it’s better to know if there’s something you can help in resolving things as well.
You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last night’s events are still affecting him. You inform him that you’ve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that he’ll get to them tomorrow.
Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you. 
“Do I look hungover to you?” He asks pointedly.
It’s clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isn’t what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now there’s another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now you’re here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.
“I, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,” you stutter. “I just…”
You don’t have a reason. Clearly, you can’t tell him that he hasn’t seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case it’s last night’s alcohol affecting him, there’s a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you. 
“You may leave,” he instructs. 
“What about lunch, sir?” You ask. 
You’d never cared before, why the change now? 
“I’m fine,” he responds. “Call me when the meeting’s about to start.”
Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. You’re pushing it, you think, but there’s a meeting he’ll be leading and he can’t be unfocused; when he is, it’s all the worse for you. 
He doesn’t react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you can’t help the tiny smile that you make internally.
It’s short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesn’t make eye contact, and doesn’t ask further questions. He just nods when you say you’re heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.
You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. He’s grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, he’s releasing all his emotions right now, through this. 
He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps. 
“Do you need that tended to?” You ask. 
He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems. 
“I’m fine,” he shrugs. 
You didn’t think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing you’ve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. It’s when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.
But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and he’s maybe handling things better now. 
For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldn’t be good for your newfound dynamic that’s a lot more civil than anything. 
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It’s Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as you’ve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Ri’s voice greets you on the other end.
“Hi, ___. How are you this morning?”
“Hi, Mr. Ri,” you yawn, curious as to why he’s checking up on you this early. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” he hums. “I was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.”
“Why would CEO Jeon ask that?” You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.
“He didn’t. Jungkook did.”
You stop on your tracks. You don’t recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.
“Oh, uhm, okay. I should be ready in–”
“I’ll be there in about 50 minutes,” Mr. Ri interjects. “Sleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. I’ll see you shortly.”
You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You won’t lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just haven’t had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that you’re energized enough and not pressed for time that you’re able to make this as good as it is. 
You decide to bring some to Jungkook’s place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you don’t know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, there’s always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldn’t be so bad.
Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that he’ll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; he’s been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual. 
“I arrived five minutes late yesterday,” you wonder out loud. “Is that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesn’t want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,” you groan. “I should’ve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full and–”
“___,” Mr. Ri stops you. “Five minutes isn’t much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I don’t know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?”
“No, I don’t. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before I’m supposed to be there feels like I’m intruding,” you argue.
“You’re literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals… there’s no intrusion happening,” Mr. Ri counters. “I know the man. He’ll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.”
“Well, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?”
There’s a brief silence before the man next to you responds.
“He did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasn’t his issue,” Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. “He asked if I knew how you got to Hoseok’s place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didn’t need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.”
“What a change, huh?” You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement you’re in. 
Not that you’re complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isn’t even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. You’ve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isn’t always terrible, for as long as you’re not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents. 
“It’s quite the change. I don’t think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you don’t?”
“I’ve skipped meals…” you trail. “And well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks I’m losing focus some days.”
“Maybe he’s just concerned.”
You snort at the absurdity of the statement. 
Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasn’t been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. He’s noticed the young man’s indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. He’s noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do. 
As someone who’s worked for the Jeons for so long and who’d watched Jungkook grow up, he’s used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in. 
But he’s also seen Jungkook’s kindness that he doesn’t always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isn’t much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.
“The news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,” Mr. Ri continues. “They attack at any hour now. I’m sure that’s why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.”
“Mr. Ri, that’s too much,” you protest. “That’s not part of my contract and it isn’t his responsibility.”
“Maybe, precisely why I think he’s concerned. It isn’t about making sure you’re not late to work or anything. He’s worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isn’t safe, ___.”
“It’s not safe for me anywhere. I just… it’s too much,” you sigh. “I don’t need this kind of service. I’m not entitled to it.”
“He’ll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, it’s either this or he’ll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.”
You sigh, knowing he has a point. You don’t think you deserve it but you also can’t deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you can’t exactly name. 
“Okay,” you say softly. 
“Good. It’s about time he makes it up to you,” he chuckles. “Boy’s been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.”
“Hmm, not like I expected any less,” you huff. “He just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times I’ve seen him before. Unhappy people like that aren’t always the kindest. Has he always been that way?”
“I wouldn’t say he has. I mean, he just wasn’t joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldn’t really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, don’t they?”
They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. It’s comfortable being alone; there’s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while. 
You nod in silence and the conversation doesn’t continue until you arrive at Jungkook’s building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and it’s shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.
“What’s that?” He gestures at the plastic container next to you.
“It’s fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,” you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated. 
“And you’re gonna eat again?”
“I was actually–”
You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous. 
“Actually what?” He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little. 
“I didn’t know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, I’ll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that that’s pretty stupid because it’s leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and it’s… just silly. Plus, you don’t eat rice in the morning.”
With his scrunched brows, he asks, “is it good?”
“It’s pretty delicious,” you say. “I mean, I liked it. I don’t know how sophisticated your palate is… Mr. Jeon.”
You smack yourself internally for rambling. 
“What’s that got to do with anything? If it’s good, then it’s good.”
“I’m an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal people’s taste buds.”
“So that makes me, what? Abnormal?”
“No… I–” you unknowingly pout. You shouldn’t have brought this in the first place. 
Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, he’ll take it. The fact that you’d brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.
“Just heat it up. I’ll have that. There’s not much food in here anyway,” he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.
You do as you’re told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if he’d wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too. 
He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.
“It’s good, a little better than how I do mine,” he says, surprising you.
“You cook?” You ask too quickly.
“Of course,” he frowns, looking a little offended. “I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?”
“Hiring people to do it for you,” you shrug. 
Peeking at him once again, you see that he’s almost finished with the dish, and you can’t help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. It’s just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. He’s at least not berating you or anything.
He finishes his meal as you go through yesterday’s meetings. There’s not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that. 
You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when he’s ready, if he ever will be. 
The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports you’d sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that they’ve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again. 
He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, you’re back in the car to head to Jungkook’s appointment with his best friend.
Kim Taehyung’s tailor shop boasts of classic European design. It’s elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. He’s donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece. 
You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are. 
You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and you’re surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you can’t help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. They’re clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but they’re obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him. 
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Cho,” Taehyung smiles. “So, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?”
He looks warm, friendly, and you can’t help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak. 
“Make one for my event, too,” Seokjin says. “I’m launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. It’ll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.”
“That soon?” Jungkook asks.
“Yeah, it got pushed early,” Seokjin replies.
Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that there’s nothing scheduled during that time. 
“There’s a landscape designer I want to meet while I’m there. Schedule one with her later,” Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice President’s Southeast Asia trips. 
Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that he’s already familiar with the style his client wants. He’s done a lot of Jungkook’s suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.
As Taehyung takes Jungkook’s measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too. 
“Uh, yes,” you say. 
“Are they from company events from before?” Taehyung asks.
You nod shyly. It’s not like you’re paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there aren’t exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.
“Have new ones made, then,” Jungkook says, his back turned to you.
“Uh, there’s no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and they’re well-made,” you insist.
“Store-bought?” Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.
“Uh, yes, Mr. Kim.”
“Nothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, I’m kinda good at them.”
“I, uh… it’s really not necessary,” you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. It’s Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.
“I believe it is,” Jungkook says now, turning to you. “They’re big events and we’re organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. I’d prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.”
“I… uh, okay,” you sigh, knowing you don’t seem to be in a position to turn him down. 
“Great. Start thinking of designs, then!” Taehyung beams.
It’s some minutes later when Jungkook’s measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam. 
Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.
“Something simple and comfortable since I’ll be moving around,” you say softly. “And nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uh…”
“I understand,” Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly don’t capture. 
He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.
“So, he’s been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?”
“Define ‘nice,’” you respond, earning you a chuckle. 
“I guess that’s my answer, then.”
“I don’t mean to say he isn’t,” you backtrack. “Mr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jung’s, that’s all.”
“I suppose that’s quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?”
You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didn’t realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasn’t been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while he’s definitely been smiling more, it’s a lot more teasing than it is comforting. You’ve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soomin’s smile is blinding, Jimin’s is sweet and infectious. Perhaps it’s why you haven’t been smiling much yourself. 
“I won’t tell, don’t worry,” Taehyung assures you. “I just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesn’t say much. I’m guessing he doesn’t tell you, either, but he’ll definitely show it.”
“He has, actually,” you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. “He’s pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. He’s been a little hard on me but I guess that’s a natural reaction for some.”
“That’s not an excuse though.”
“It isn’t, but… it’s okay. I can handle it.”
It’s not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasn’t been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesn’t correct the reports you reviewed, doesn’t talk over you or doesn’t yell. There’s been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it. 
“He doesn’t really smile, does he?” You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Taehyung’s laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off. 
“He still does, just not as much,” he responds. “It kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess that’s what heartbreak does, right?”
“I… wouldn’t know. I’ve never experienced it,” you shrug.
“Lucky,” he hums. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”
You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him that’s a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe it’s the loneliness and that you’d understand; that, you’ve experienced. It’s both liberating and isolating. You wonder if that’s how he’s been feeling all these years since then.
“I’m done,” Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for. 
“These look nice. And way out of my price range,” you laugh.
“Perks of having a rich boss,” he winks. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? You’re my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if you’re okay with all this, I’ll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.”
You nod in response. There’s absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if you’re being honest, you now can’t wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that you’re getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung. 
You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. She’s meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, you’re able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing you’ve been wondering about.
“By the way, what was up with you last Monday?” Seokjin asks. “I thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.”
“Four nights isn’t much, though,” Taehyung laughs. “Didn’t he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?”
“Shut up. I’m not proud of that,” Jungkook groans. “And that was one time. It never happened again.”
“It never happened seven times straight again,” Seokjin corrects. “You were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with you…”
“It’s called the post-break up stage,” Taehyung says. 
“For six years?!” Seokjin asks incredulously. “It’s either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.”
“I vote all of the above,” Taehyung states.
“Me, too,” Seokjin claims.
“Fuck you both,” Jungkook groans again. 
“I think he also just missed us too much,” Seokjin adds. “Lucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But we’re here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as you’ll go.”
“Two, if you stopped me last Sunday,” Jungkook points out. “You both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.”
“May we remind you that you didn’t even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,” Taehyung says. “But really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.”
“Just… a bunch of things my father said,” Jungkook huffs.
“Did he tell you off again?”
“Not really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.”
“Did you?”
“Sorta,” Jungkook says. “I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“But it’s still happening, right?” Taehyung asks worriedly. “The Arts Center, I mean. You’ve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.”
“I don’t know,” Jungkook responds. “I guess. We already put money into it. I’ll just have to make concessions if my father doesn’t side with me on this. I hate to think he’s buying into what those old folks are saying.”
“Ms. Cho, we’re all done,” the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldn’t help but hear. 
It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you don’t know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldn’t know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you can’t blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke. 
But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. You’d hate to think that there’s a possibility that Jungkook’s plans won’t be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didn’t break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.
You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.
“All good?” Taehyung asks you.
“Yes,” you bow in thanks. 
“Great. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkook’s suits will be. I’ll just let you guys know, okay?
“Sure,” Jungkook says. “But anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.”
The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. It’s the thought that maybe he doesn’t feel supported, that maybe what he’s doing isn’t enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.
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Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you don’t mind. They’re visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.
You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.
They’re why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, you’ll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever they’re around. 
“So, has the boss situation improved?” Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry “Or should I storm the jerk’s house and give him a piece of my mind?”
“It has,” you chuckle. “So no need to call him names or fight anyone. I’m okay.”
“Well, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,” Jimin points out. “So… did he get a haircut?”
“No,” you laugh again. “And that was in the heat of the moment. I… I mean, he’s still grumpy but he’s not… as grumpy or unbearable. He’s been—”
“Oh hun, please don’t say he’s been kind and then give him a pass for how he’s been to you,” Soomin reprimands. “Mean people don’t just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, that’s a controlling tactic - they want you to think they’re capable of change so you’ll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.”
“You watch too many shows,” you frown, although knowing her statement isn’t wrong; it’s just not something you can relate with Jungkook.
Sure, he hasn’t been the nicest, but he also hasn’t been the meanest. He’s just been… him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you won’t go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasn’t been insufferable these past few days. 
“I’ve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,” Soomin corrects. “They’re all the same. Men are shit.”
“Except for Jimin,” you correct.
“Except for Jimin,” she concurs. 
“I accept the honor,” he bows. “But seriously, ___. How has it been? You… you seemed really sad last week and I would’ve driven here then if we didn’t have that work emergency.”
“I’m okay, I mean it. I’ve experienced worse,” you try to assure them.
“You do know that having experienced something worse doesn’t mean it’s fine for you to experience something bad again, right?” Soomin points out.
“I know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,” you say. “Jungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think he’s making up for that.”
“By apologizing, you mean?” Soomin cocks an eyebrow.
Your sigh tells her that’s definitely not what Jungkook has done. 
“Well, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,” you reason. “And he doesn’t comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And that’s worse.”
“Why would he pity you?” She asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,” you explain. “And then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. He’s made adjustments after those and I… I think he’s guilty or something. And he’s just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.”
“So in short, he’s still kind of an asshole,” Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. “He could always just apologize if he’s guilty and realized he should treat you better.”
“Some things aren’t easy for other people to say, you know?” You say softly. 
“That’s not an excuse,” she points out.
“It’s an explanation,” you counter. “Or one of them, I guess. I don’t know him well enough, but it’s better to think that he’s a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes people’s lives difficult. I mean, that’s easier to manage and accept.”
“If that helps you deal and he’s indeed improving, then maybe I won’t have to storm his place then,” she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do. 
She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; she’ll give it if you can’t give it to yourself. 
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The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter you’d expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment. 
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. You’re in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day. 
Soomin’s done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, they’re ready as well to head out. 
“Where’re we going?” You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night. 
“Some new restaurant the guys discovered,” Soomin responds. “I think it’s not far from here.”
“Okay, good. Hajoon’s been texting, asking what time we’ll get there,” you tell them. 
“Geez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,” Jimin rolls his eyes. 
Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that he’s just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasn’t seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that you’d gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked. 
You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soomin’s friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and you’ve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and you’ve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when he’s not being moody. He’s a warm body who knows how to use it and you’re a good type of relief, as he’d said; there’s really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can. 
Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say he’s saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you. 
Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, you’re caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist. 
“Hey, I missed you today,” Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasn’t this sweet when he left for a work trip last month.  
“I… saw you today,” you frown, earning you a chuckle. 
“I know; I was still thinking about you, though,” he says. 
You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter. 
You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good. 
“Just craving for meat, that’s all,” you tell him. 
“Is there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?”
You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.
“Since when was he this sweet to you?” Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes. 
“Since never,” you reply. “I mean, we’ve never been affectionate outside of bed…”
“Is anything else different?” Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.
You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress you’ve been under the past weeks, you didn’t bother much, neither did he. 
But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which he’s never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.
“He cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,” you shrug. “And well… he seemed sweeter than normal.”
“Maybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and he’s guilty about it,” Jimin suggests.
“He didn’t say anything about it and he knows I wouldn’t mind,” you say. “We’re not exclusive, even if I don’t hang out with other guys.”
“Maybe he’s over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,” Soomin offers. “I mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.”
“He’s hot and decent when he’s in a good mood; that’s all I need,” you admit. 
“But honestly, that’s probably it,” Soomin continues. “I think he’s hinting that he wants to be more.”
“But I don’t want to,” you whine. “I’m not ready.”
“You’re 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?” Soomin whisper-yells.
“Never!” You pout now. “I mean… Not with him.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to tell him soon, then,” Jimin sighs. “Before it gets messy. And you hate messy.”
“What if men just don’t have feelings?” Soomin wonders out loud. “That way, you can’t hurt them.”
“So that way, they can hurt you?” Jimin points out. “No. I’m not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.”
“We know,” you and Soomin say at the same time. 
“But I agree with Jimin, ___. You’re gonna have to let that man next to you, who’s thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,” Soomin continues. “Like, uh…” 
She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about. 
“Like them.” 
You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man who’d given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair. 
“Shit, I would totally go for them,” Soomin adds, “and I only even like men a quarter of the time.”
Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if you’re seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.
From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didn’t know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, you’re out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. It’s not the type of place they’d normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyung’s clients. 
Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and he’d been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems he’s barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesn’t know what made him think you wouldn’t have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side. 
But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and you’re even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he won’t even start with how you’re dressed. It’s a lot more skin than he’s used to - you’re out, after all, and if he’ll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when you’re at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what he’s seeing now. 
He can’t take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps you’re wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.
“I told you he’s got it bad,” Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table. 
He’s noticed how his friend hasn’t said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why. 
“Well, we told him,” Seokjin corrects. “He only ever acts out when he’s threatened and he’s apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.”
“I’m not acting out,” Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.
“You’ve never been this much of a jerk,” Seokjin says. “So yes, you’re acting out.”
Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin. 
Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. He’s acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. There’s a world outside of the routine you’ve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.
“___,” Soomin calls your name one more time. 
“Huh?” You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, who’d unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there. 
You’ve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; you’ve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while you’re still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal. 
Maybe it’s the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe it’s all that and the way he’s gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you can’t quite read. Perhaps like you, he’s surprised to see you here the way you’re shocked that he’d chosen this place to eat; it’s not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at. 
But he’s here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that you’ve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And you’re not sure how you feel about that.
“I was just saying… those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,” Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. “ I mean, they keep looking here.”
“One of them is my boss,” you finally say. “Guy on the right. That’s… uh, that’s Jungkook.”
“Holy fuck, hun,” Soomin chokes on her drink. “Why did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?”
“Does it matter?” Jimin scowls. “He’s still rude.”
“It’s different when the guy’s hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?” Soomin says. “Attractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.”
“Excuse me, that’s not why I was angry,” you pout. “He was really being unfair.”
“Well, he was. But I think my point also applies,” Soomin argues. “I’d just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. ”
“Ah, the man who could’ve been,” Jimin sighs. “We at least knew he wouldn’t hurt you. He didn’t seem like the type.”
“Yeah, this dude over here is hot but he’s mean. And that’s your type,” Soomin smirks.
“Can we… not talk about this while he’s there? And while this other dude is right next to me?” You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasn’t lost on you. “It’s so… weird.”
“Hey, we’re here for you, okay?” Jimin softens as he looks at you. “Just let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then I’ll lose my hearing because of it.”
His words make you laugh. There’s a tenderness in Jimin that you’ve never heard from anyone else before. Even when he’s telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace. 
“I’m okay. I’m just… I don’t know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isn’t the office or his home,” you reason. “And I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is… right there.”
You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only you’d done it when Jimin asks if you’re cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.
You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. You’re dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.
“Just don’t mind him,” Soomin advises. “It’s a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he can’t fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if that’ll happen.”
You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after. 
The pork belly is a winner; you’ll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoon’s attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. It’s going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.
“Hey,” he says, leaning close to you. “The guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. It’s kinda annoying.”
You glance at Jungkook’s table and he looks away when you do. “Oh, just don’t mind him,” you wave Hajoon off. “Maybe I remind him of someone or something.”
There’s a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that he’s staring down the man on the other side. Hajoon’s had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying he’s gonna give “that stranger” a piece of his mind because “he can’t be looking at my girl like that.”
The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though. 
“What the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?” Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when he’s never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when he’s drunk. 
Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps it’s the aggression he didn’t expect, or maybe it’s finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way. 
“Your girl?” He scoffs. 
The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesn’t need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you. 
Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. He’d seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and he’s really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. You’ve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and he’s gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you. 
“Yeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, don’t you?” Hajoon grunts. 
“My only problem is you making a scene right now,” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’re drunk and insecure and you’re embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.”
Not that you expected him to back off, but you didn’t actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoon’s buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so you’re not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since you’ve never dealt with this version of him before, you don’t know how to pacify him.
You didn’t actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, you’re left in disbelief. You’re quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other man’s face, but he’d been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkook’s thin white top. 
“Mr. Jeon!” You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead. 
You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkook’s wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is you’re doing. 
“I… uh,” you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes. 
It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that he’s dressed impeccably. 
“You know him?!” Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so you’ll turn to him.
“He’s my boss, you idiot!” smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. “And you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?”
“Well, what can he do?” Hajoon challenges. “Get you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?”
“My father does,” Jungkook responds. “And I’m the Vice President.”
Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you aren’t amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.
“I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. “I…” 
The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.
“I– I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,” you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins. 
You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.
You walk out towards the car that’s on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top that’s most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.
“Mr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,” you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. “Just tell me–” 
You’re interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hair’s a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that he’s tried to clean the wine off his body. 
You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs. 
“Please let me know what else you need, sir,” you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom. 
“Jungkook,” he says, earning him a curious look. “I mean, you don’t need to be formal. We’re not at work.”
You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting. 
“Okay… Jungkook,” you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. You’re not used to it, and you hope you won’t ever be. 
He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. You’ve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, you’re a little surprised that he didn’t fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon must’ve taken a lot. 
The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and he’s fully clothed, so there’s no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.
“I’m so sorry,” you start. “I don’t know why he— I mean, he’s a bit drunk and he’s not usually like this.”
“You’re not the one who should apologize so don’t,” he responds. 
“Well, he won’t apologize so I will.”
“You didn’t spill the drink and you didn’t come at me. That was him,” he counters. 
You just shrug, choosing to just concede. “I’ll just return this to Mr. Ri.”
He calls your name before you turn around to leave. 
“I didn’t mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,” he says, much too low and too gentle than you’re used to. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer softly. “We just, uh, we just hang out.”
You don’t know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because you’re not anyone’s anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.
Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like he’s your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But there’s a bit of shame as you state that you and the man “just hang out,” and there’s that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. There’s Min Yoongi, after all, who’d liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt.  
“Okay then,” Jungkook nods. “And your job’s not in jeopardy. Don’t take responsibility for a stupid act you didn’t do.”
You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him that’s understanding and even calm. You suppose he’d seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didn’t even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you. 
You’re about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.
“About earlier… did I… did I make you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you. 
You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter. 
“A… a little,” you admit, looking away. 
You hear him sigh, and there’s a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him. 
“I’m so—”
The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you don’t want others to conspire about what’s happening, so you walk out and tell him again that you’ll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri. 
From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.
“He does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,” Soomin observes. “That’s totally ___’s type.”
“Are you saying she likes her boss?” Jimin asks incredulously. 
“I’m just saying that’s her type, not that she likes him,” Soomin corrects. “There’s a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she won’t quit anytime soon. Especially because he’s a Jeon.”
“I know,” Jimin sighs. “I wish we could protect her from all this, too. But she’s always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.”
“That’s all we can do, I guess,” Soomin responds. “Sometimes though I wish she’d just… let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It could’ve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It could’ve been you.”
“You know that’ll never happen,” Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. “You’re only ever just her friend or her lover; you can’t be both.”
Soomin hums in agreement, as she’d seen you draw the line with the men you’d come across with. You’d make it clear if friendship is all you want; you’d be straightforward if it’s just sex you’re seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and you’re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you don’t want to share, that you don’t want to expose to them; there’s a kind of hurt that you don’t want to experience. 
They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily. 
“I think I’ll head back home after this,” you tell the group. “Kinda not in a partying mood anymore.”
Your other friends apologize on Hajoon’s behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if he’d threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didn’t do. 
You come to Jungkook’s defense; he didn’t say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps you’d been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that he’d demand that you apologize, that he’d use this against you. 
“He’s… not like that,” you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. “He… he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,” you say softly. “No one’s ever done that before.”
“Look, ___,” Hajoon starts, but you cut him off. 
“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you sigh. “I’ll just pay my bill and head out.”
You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.
“Hey, why don’t we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?” Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car. 
“That would be nice,” you hum. “This outfit wouldn’t be such a waste then.”
So that’s what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. It’s one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeks’ worth of goods for you to enjoy.
You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. It’s too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. You’re all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you can’t hear anything. 
“Tonight wasn’t so bad,” you huff, leaning on Soomin’s shoulder as you doze off. “Both of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.”
They know you don’t always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And that’s what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.
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husbandhoshi · 10 months
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title: eat. play. love.
pairing: seungcheol x f!reader
wc: 19.4k
summary: being one of new york's top food critics comes with a lot of perks: free dinners, nice awards, and a linkedin profile your parents could be proud of. that doesn't stop you from wanting a lofty promotion to editor, and the only person standing in your way is choi seungcheol. just one problem: his romance column has half of new york under his grimy little thumb. that, and you hate him.
in which your love language is food. seungcheol doesn't have one.
notes: romcom with mild angst, coworkers!au, slow burn enemies to lovers, playboy!cheol, suggestive (one moment in particular) + mentions of sex (otherwise sfw), swearing, lots of alcohol, also you will probably get hungry reading this. extra special thanks a million times over to my fav person @wuahae for bearing with me through literally all 20k words of this. i love you:')
It's underneath a layer of paper-thin egg yolk pasta where you think you see god.
Spoon meets whipped ricotta, white truffle, sage oil. A sip of 1979 cabernet, punishing and oaky. Rinse and repeat.
None of these words are in the Bible, yet you are having nothing short of a religious experience.
"Well, this seems like good news for the place," Jeonghan says. "Wine's tasty. Three stars?"
At this point, you're fairly sure Jeonghan has tuned the explanation of your elaborate rating process out (he's there for the wine, anyway), so instead you top him up and help yourself to a generous portion of his pappardelle.
"Four, then?" He leans forward on his elbows. "Or critic's choice?"
Candied lemon, pecorino, garlic. Derivative, but it's a good bite.
"You're distracting me." You point your fork at him. "You're like 80% alcohol, anyway. Bad opinions."
"Sue me," he laughs. "I would take a client here, is all I'm saying."
You pass on the opportunity to bring up that Jeonghan once brought a client to a Bubba Gump because he was craving coconut shrimp. But Jeonghan isn't a food critic—he's a business analyst and your best friend from college, back when all you cared about was Friday's house party and writing pizza joint reviews for the university paper.
It's a good arrangement. You appreciate his company, and he's never one to turn down a free meal. The both of you keep a small circle—such is the price of discernment.
There aren't many things that can come between you and a delicious meal. But, you have notifications turned on for just three things (all work-related) and you both watch the linen tablecloth light up under your face-down phone in true horror-movie fashion.
Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. "Popular on a Saturday night," he jokes. "Copy on your ass again?"
"Nothing's in production," you reply, letting the evil claws of your terrible work-life balance encircle you once again as you open your email.
URGENT: LIFESTYLE EDITOR TRANSITIONAL PLANS, it reads. It's from Wonwoo, your editor in chief, who has sent it with priority, as if the caps lock wasn't scary enough.
"So Joshua decided to quit. Just like you said," Jeonghan says, but it's like he's speaking to you through a wet paper bag because it takes every working brain cell of yours to read the email.
As you may know, Joshua has decided to step down from his position as our current Lifestyle editor.
Not a surprise, given his wife is having a kid. You had called it six months ago over the paper's Christmas dinner at Eleven Madison Park, when Joshua spent half of it outside on a phone call and the other half browsing the Baby Gap website.
I have decided to hire internally to fill his position. I and upper management believe you would be a good fit for the position. Please plan for a meeting 9 AM Monday to discuss transitional plans.
It's that part that you have to read over three times. And then you read it over a fourth, just for good measure.
"You're starting to scare me." Jeonghan puts down his glass, which is something akin to a baby separating from their bottle.
Sometimes you need a dictionary to understand Wonwoo, but the email seems clear as day to you. Good fit. Transitional plans. Suddenly you wish Jeonghan hadn't had so much of the wine because you're in desperate need of a drink.
"I-I think…I think I'm getting promoted."
How funny to think your lifelong dream would be realized over a 40 dollar plate of pasta. You want to cry and hug the maître d' and eat the entire complimentary bread basket.
"It's about time." The glass finds his relieved hand again. "You breathe journalism. I'm afraid one day you'll text me in AP style."
You read over all of it again, trying to memorialize the words that undoubtedly will launch your wonderful and long career in the upper echelons of media.
Looking forward to talking with the two of you.
Wait—two?
Then the proverbial cherry on top, the laughably convenient other thing your eyes had glazed over before.
CC: Choi Seungcheol.
"Choi Seungcheol?!"
Nothing is ever that easy and it then dawns on you that this is a competition type thing because never in the history of the printing press has there been two editors for a section.
Jeonghan stares at you blankly. It would be funny if you didn't feel like you were being double deep-fried like terrible fair food, all the thrill and elation of the moment boiled down to lead in your chest.
"I—he," you stammer.
Jeonghan mouths check to the poor waiter assigned to watch your table. God bless him.
"Words," he tells you. "You went to journalism school."
You take a syrupy breath that sits in your lungs unhappily. Your food is cold. This is a disaster.
"Well, actually, I'm not getting promoted."
Jeonghan's eyes soften, just enough without making you pity yourself more.
"There's this guy," you start. "He's the love and relationships columnist, the one I complain about all the time." Jeonghan makes a small ahh sound, your predicament finally dawning on him. "I guess we're both under consideration for the position. I didn't-I didn't even think of him. I—"
You slump into your seat, the arancini your only solace despite your complaint that the breading was too salty earlier.
"So? I bet you're a way better fit than him. It'll be a shoe-in. Easy decision."
Jeonghan's confidence in you makes you want to cry.
The problem is that Seungcheol is the human equivalent of Cosmopolitan Magazine. You can't recall the last time he walked into the office with a fully buttoned up shirt. You also can't recall the last time one of his advice columns wasn't in the end of quarter recap for popularity.
It's not in you to explain this debacle to Jeonghan. This whole situation is so cosmically awful that all you can do is ask for dessert in a takeout box and watch Jeonghan calculate tip without a calculator because that's all you learn in business school.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jeonghan asks when you're both in the Uber.
"Yeah." You have a headache. You also can't decide whether or not to give the restaurant three or four stars, and you always know by the time you're out the door. "It's fine."
The tiramisu is cold in your lap. Jeonghan squeezes your shoulder. You refresh your email.
Choi Seungcheol's name stares back at you.
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The meeting goes exactly how you would expect.
Wonwoo, in his lanky taupe sweater vest, says that Joshua is leaving and you and Seungcheol are standing toe-to-toe in the space left behind.
"I'm sure you two are well-acquainted," he begins.
You stifle a laugh, but Seungcheol's cat-like grimace says more than enough. Neither of you have the heart to tell Wonwoo that your very first impression of Seungcheol was that he tried to hit on you at the new recruit party, or that Joshua probably deserves reparations for how often he mediated fights between the two of you during weekly meetings. (Maybe not reparations, but at least an Edible Arrangements.)
For better or for worse, Wonwoo's genius does not extend to social cues, and he follows with a blithe, "Therefore, I hope you two will treat this as a friendly competition between equals."
You almost laugh again, but this time it's because you need the promotion more than you need air, and you cannot allow some Buzzfeed reject with the face of a model take that from you. And you don't doubt Seungcheol wants it as bad as you do, considering how often you've seen him try to schmooze his way up the ranks.
He may have become a columnist by rubbing elbows with the right people, but you'll never forget the late nights you spent sifting through hours of interview transcripts, on the grueling climb up the totem pole to earn your position.
"We'll evaluate an article of your own submission at the end of the month before we decide. Best of luck."
At least Wonwoo knows to quit while he's ahead—he closes the meeting with a succinct nod before returning to his seemingly infinite unread emails.
"Exciting," Seungcheol says. He claps his hands together, Rolex gaudy under the office lights, and sends a nauseating smile your way. "May the best writer win."
He offers you a handshake. You think he has real life cooties, so instead you close your planner and shoot him a very pointed look.
"There's only one writer here. Thrilled to read your next thinkpiece on how men should spend more time on Tinder and not therapy."
That earns you a chuckle from Wonwoo, but Seungcheol is not easily fazed.
Instead he rushes to hold the door open for you on your way out, likely his favorite piece of advice to give his poor, indolent readers.
"I'll book a table for us at Avra next month," Seungcheol gloats. "Consider it a gift from your future boss."
"They don't have a kids menu, you know."
"No problem. I'll have my darling food critic order for me." He places a wicked hand over his polyester covered heart. "Ending misogyny in one fell swoop, huh?"
You wait for the door to Wonwoo's office to close before looking at him right in his wet, cow eyes with the most malice you can possibly muster. You feel it collect in your bones, enough to feel like you can physically hack it up and hurl it at him.
"You have no clue what you're talking about, huh? Do you actually attract women with that attitude? Or are you just a really good liar?"
You are so close to him, you could kiss him if you wanted—luckily for the both of you, you would rather die a thousand fiery, terrible deaths, and then die all over again. Instead, you watch his pout unravel into a grin from hell, and he leans in closer, the scent of Old Spice and break room coffee heavy on him. This morning's matcha latte churns in your stomach, and you wonder if you should have gotten oatmilk instead of dairy.
Up close, he's worse. His hair reminds you of the sad, tired swoop of the washed-up lead of a daytime soap opera. And he has no pores, which is deeply upsetting because he looks like the type to wash his face with Palmolive and a prayer.
"You know what?"
His breath hits your lips and your skin prickles like you have an allergy.
"What?"
"You just gave me the winning idea for my next column." No way, you think. Mind games. Classy. "See you at dinner, sweetheart. Looking forward to it."
The pet name makes you seethe. There are a million things you want to say, all colorful and none workplace appropriate.
"I'd rather starve."
"Better not let Wonwoo hear you with that bad attitude. I'm sure management loves a team player." His cheshire grin somehow gets bigger, all white teeth and pink lip. "Try to smile a little, huh? Have fun writing about snails and black garlic and cwa-ssants, or whatever it is that you do."
you watch all the laminated syllables of croissant go through his paper shredder smile and you think you black out.
He spins on his heel triumphantly, almost bowling over Minghao from Arts & Entertainment, who is undoubtedly wondering if you did, in fact, kiss.
Seungcheol laughs as he walks away, linebacker shoulders rippling under his one size too small shirt.
The metal-red knot of anger swells in your gut as you watch his perfect silhouette and his tiny little waist disappear into the staff room. Then you realize what you've been looking at and let yourself get mad all over again.
He does have a nice ass, though. You'll give him that.
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"You'll never guess what I have."
"Is it better than this lox bagel?" You answer, mouth unattractively full.
Seungkwan's answer is the sound of a straw hitting the bottom of an empty cup and the grating jostle of ice. Phone calls with him are like ASMR because he's always doing a million things at once, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
"Infinitely," he finally says, after procuring the last milliliter of what's likely his second coffee of the day. "Besides, we all know pesto is way better."
"Wrong, but okay," you reply. "What is it?"
"You're not gonna thank me for being the best friend in the world? Me, an editor, keeping nepotism alive for you? A mere columnist?"
"Senior columnist," you laugh between bites. "You need me. Who else would you text during content meetings?"
"Whatever." His eye roll is audible. "I guess I won't tell you."
He shakes his cup again, all ice and no patience.
"Fine! I owe you. My career and my life."
"And a seat at Momofuku."
"And that."
You take another greedy bite, letting the everything on an everything bagel get all over your chin. You love dressing up and going to restaurants that cost more than both of your kidneys, but there's something sacred about eating a $10 bagel behind the shield of your computer screen at a cafe where no one knows you.
There's someone laughing really loudly somewhere, and if you weren't otherwise preoccupied, you would look for the offender and give them a hard glare. You don't know what could possibly be that funny at 9 AM, but, then again, you never were a morning person.
"So, I have intel. About Seungcheol." You can picture the glint in Seungkwan's eyes, glittery and caramel. Unfortunately, the news that it's related to your worst enemy makes you sit up a little straighter. "At today's content meeting, Joshua said that he's working on some kind of challenge to go on as many dates as possible. He might make it a series."
"How tacky," you say, but the information clanks around in your brain like shoes in a washing machine. The indulgent, clickbaity headline just falls together perfectly—I Went On 50 First Dates So You Don't Have To. Exactly the kind of article your mom sees on Facebook and sends to you.
"You have to admit it's a decent idea. Not as good as yours, but it'll get engagement," is Seungkwan's reply, but you can barely hear it over the swell of another sitcom-esque laugh, this time, from a woman. "The other editors are very invested in this whole thing, by the way. Of course, I'm betting on you."
You're about to very openly stress about people gambling on your success when your eyes wander to the backside of the Sports Illustrated model getting napkins at the counter. Not bad at all, you think. It may be too early for the comedy club, but appreciating the male figure has no schedule.
And then he turns around, and you're able to see past the curly hair, muscle tee, beauty pageant smile—it's none other than Choi Seungcheol, fully outfitted with the audacity to trespass on your bagel place. You have never been more disgusted by your heterosexuality.
You hide behind your computer screen.
"Helloooo?" comes Seungkwan on the line. "Are you making out with your breakfast or something?"
"Seungkwan, I gotta go," you hiss. Your eyes follow Seungcheol as he makes his way back to his table. "There's a…situation."
You watch him sit across from a beautiful girl in a sundress and Prada sunglasses, and her lips tumble into a brilliant red smile.
It would be really fucking funny if he was on a date, you think, but then you see him make the kind of eyes you last saw in the deepest, stickiest recesses of a frat house on thirsty Thursday. Then you realize he is on a date, that he's been on a date, and it's his laugh that is equally annoying as it is loud.
Seungkwan works hard, but the devil always works harder.
"Ok, talk to you later. Bye!" You can hear the beginning of one of Seungkwan's protests, but you hang up before he's able to properly complain. Maybe you'll have to do a little better than Momofuku—that's a problem for later.
Over the rim of your laptop, you catch glimpses of their conversation. You notice Seungcheol talks a lot with his hands, and you wonder if that's another one of his tips or if that's just him. Him and those big clown hands, illustrating a story that you're unfortunately too far away to hear.
But you can hear her laugh again, and you try to guess what he's talking about. His childhood dog. The insurmountable burden of being prom king and captain of the football team. This little not-competition and this little not-rivalry between the two of you. How the PB&J bagel is the best thing on the menu (it's not, but you see the berry compote all over his fingers and you know that's the hill he's dying on).
No matter how you spin it, it's a hard pill to swallow. Choi Seungcheol is good at what he does, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
You hear the careening lilt of what seems to be Seungcheol whining, and there's a brief flash of something like endearment in your stomach before the repulsion sets in.
Nothing you can do to stop him, huh?
The question, sinister and burning, writhes in your brain as you chew on the ice from your coffee and stare at a blank Word document, the cursor blinking like a heartbeat.
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Beware the wrath of a woman scorned.
It's number 3 on Seungcheol's article titled Revenge and Other Stories. Unsurprisingly, he must not practice what he preaches, because you currently have all nine circles of Dante's Inferno inside you right now.
Play nice, Jeonghan had told you. Looks better to upper management.
And you did, until one of your photo requests mysteriously got deleted. Then Joshua told you to cut 500 words from this week's column because Seungcheol's just "happened" to be a little longer this time.
The knockout punch was yesterday when Seungcheol told you he was using your January critic's choice pick to take Wonwoo out for a friendly dinner, his treat. If you had known, you would've called ahead and told them to poison the hamachi. (No matter. Any foodie worth their salt knows Thursday is the worst day for sushi).
Now you sit on the C train, dressed to the nines, because you have a date with destiny at Nai. Sometimes destiny is a big pan of paella for one, but this time, it's Seungcheol and his next victim on date night.
Getting him there was so easy, it was almost criminal. An obnoxiously loud elevator phone call in which you name dropped the executive chef, a friend of yours, at least four times. Seungkwan very strategically asking you if a press pass can bypass reservations for a booked-out restaurant. Gossip in the break room with the intentional use of "intimate," "sangria drunk," and "affordable."
Affordable was a lie, but you're learning quickly that a hungry fish will take any bait. And seeing Seungcheol's face is never a joy, but you're not opposed to watching him open the menu for the first time.
"I have a killer Spanish accent," Seungcheol told you on the way out today.
Hook, line, and sinker.
The subway car rumbles under you. You're almost in East Village. You don't normally spend your Friday nights crashing dates—you actually don't really spend them outside your apartment at all, but Seungcheol is the exception to the rule and you're making a lot of them for him. A small price to pay for the glory of dethroning Casanova.
The plan is to "accidentally" run into Seungcheol and his Friday night exploit, and then to casually, non-bitterly mention a, that she is about to become a statistic, b, that his idea of chivalry was birthed in the basement of the Alpha Omega house, and c, that you're surprised he's still single because you always happen to catch him on dates. Something like that.
This is admittedly the best you could come up with. Like you said, you don't really crash dates. You don't really sabotage people either, but Seungcheol declared war the minute his Folgers breath hit your face outside Wonwoo's office.
Then you think of all the ways things can absolutely backfire. Seungcheol's warm, carefree whirl of laughter when he explains you're office rivals, or worse, lies and says you're nothing but a jilted, jealous ex. Or this whole thing could simply be immortalized in his winning article as a jaunty sentence about making the most out of a bad situation, yada yada yada.
You picture watching another girl, spellbound, as you dig into your table-for-one paella.
In your mind's eye, she laughs, floaty like his date at the bagel place, and for a moment you understand what it might feel like to want Choi Seungcheol.
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Friday night at Nai is red and glittering and heady with saffron.
You remember when you first ate here, two weekends after the soft open, early in your career at the paper. After a three hour conversation over wine and octopus with the owner, you wrote the restaurant a glowing review that, to your surprise, helped land it several ritzy awards. Now the dining room is never empty, but they always find space for you.
That was the first time you learned that all of this work meant something. Yeah, you loved an excuse to stuff your face and get paid for it, but what was even better was the chance to tell the stories of a working father's hand-pulled noodles, the drunk, midnight origins of a tasting menu, the caramel-greedy fingers of a well-loved childhood.
This is the long way of explaining how you bypass the two hour standby wait time, and how you walk in on a first name basis with the manager.
You're fully prepared to see Seungcheol mid-churro, perhaps four pick-up lines deep and wondering if he still has a condom in his wallet.
That's why you almost miss him on your way to your table. His is empty, other than a lonely, watered down martini on the rocks and two menus.
"Seungcheol?"
He looks up at you, and something like genuine surprise melts into relief, then intrigue.
"Look at who crawled out of her dungeon," he chuckles. "You clean up good."
Whatever pity you may have felt for him vaporizes instantly. Although, when he beckons for you to sit in the empty seat across from him, you do take the bait—you're not about to pass up a good opportunity to humble your least formidable foe.
"Refreshing to see that our love guru isn't above dining solo," you reply. "I have to admit, your acting is impressive. What an elaborate ruse to get another poor, single diner to pity you enough to sit with you."
"It worked, didn't it?" He takes a sip of his cocktail, which is almost a brand new drink because it's 90% water, 10% martini by now.
"I'm no expert, but pretending to get stood up is not a tip I would give the general public."
"Who said I was pretending?"
No fucking way. Your jaw drops. It's too unreal to believe. Even if the slutty cut of Seungcheol's shirt wasn't persuasive enough, surely the prospect of enjoying a free Michelin star dinner would warrant an appearance, even for you. Breaking News: New York's Hottest Bachelor Ghosted at Top Restaurant. If only that were as wonderful to the average reader as it is to you.
Because waiters are trained to enter conversations at the best possible time, you're forced to pause and order a wine for the table and some tapas. (No paella for one? Seungcheol asks, and you try to reconcile your annoyance with the fact that one, he's read your review of this place, and two, that he looks mildly turned on that you can pronounce all the menu items. You tell the waiter to add a paella.)
"You got stood up?" You cross your arms over your chest. "You may think I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb."
"You have no idea how flattering your reaction is." He laughs, and the air shifts around him, drawing you further into his eyes, inky under the lowlight. "I understand you think I'm irresistible, but, alas, not everyone shares your opinion."
"I never said that."
You hate how easy it is for him to push your buttons. You hate how in control he is, and you hate how he's looking at you like you're on the menu.
The waiter returns with the wine, and you decide you're feeling equally as terrible.
"Truly, you can't be that irresistible. After all this time writing about relationships, you would think you'd actually be in one."
Touché, you think. Normally, it would be too low a blow, even for you, except that his column-related debauchery is one of the four thrilling conversation topics he subjects you to at the office. And who are you to bury the lede?
"Coaches don't play," Seungcheol says, leaning back and popping the martini olive in his mouth offensively, as if he's not at a restaurant that takes months to get a good table at.
"Bullshit." You lean forward and chase his gaze. He doesn't shy away; rather, he meets you with an appraising raise of an eyebrow. "Coaches should at least know how to throw the ball."
"What do you think we're doing right now?"
"Oh, please." Your wrist twitches as you fight the urge to down your entire glass of merlot in a single gulp. You picture the title of his next article: Top 10 Ways To Get A Woman Drunk. And then the oh so charming punchline: 1. Be so insufferable she cannot last a conversation without her real life partner, wine.
"See? I've already got you laughing." He notices the generous sip missing from your glass and tops you up.
"No, you do not get to make this about me."
Somehow, you are laughing, but you chalk it up to the spiteful little man in your brain writing headlines for Seungcheol's column.
How To Antagonize Your Date In 5 Easy Steps.
"Need I remind you I'm only here because your actual date stood you up? Too soon?"
"I prefer you anyway," he answers, his expression half-challenge, half-something else that you don't really want to think about.
"Crazy, because I'd rather be literally anywhere else."
Signs You Are In A Hostage Situation, Not A Date.
"You should stick to food. You're a bad liar." He cocks his head to the empty table next to him. "It's still open if you want it."
"I'm no quitter."
Maybe The Male Gaze Isn't So Bad: A Thinkpiece.
Definitely not that one.
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"So, before I try anything," Seungcheol says, leaning across the table. "Teach me how to be a food critic."
"Why, so you can steal my job?"
"You can keep it," he laughs. "I'm gonna be your boss, not your replacement."
You notice he'll linger on the tail end of his sentences, betting on the response you haven't even come up with yet. He's picking apart the furrow of your brow, the marrow of your brain. It's like one drawn out interview, but you suppose that's all dating really is. Maybe your journalism degree wasn't a waste of money after all.
You won't give him the satisfaction of a fight (plus, you don't want the food to get cold), so you change the subject.
"Well, I take pictures first," you say, waving away his overeager fork.
"Genius. They really scammed you out of your Pulitzer, huh?"
You ignore him in lieu of repositioning the chorizo. Unfortunately, Seungcheol is unrelenting. You hear the snap of his phone camera, clearly taking a photo of you and not the meal—clever, but you won't bite.
"Wanna be in my story? I can tag you."
In your periphery hovers his wry, wanting smile.
"Sure. So the world can know I'm a charity worker too."
He whistles, clutching his heart. If he weren't so annoying, you would find him a little cute. Just a little. You blame the kitchen for whatever aphrodisiac is in the food today.
"Live update: date with food critic going about as well as an episode of Hell's Kitchen."
He says this leaning forward, elbows on the table, so close to you that your knees might touch. You tense at the thought.
"Any date of mine would be on better behavior."
"So you're admitting this is a date?"
"This," you wave your hand over the table. "This is not a date. This is me regretting ever pitying you."
"Well, pity looks good on you."
And there it is again, that accursed, perfect smile. This time, it works, and you fight the losing battle of the wine flush undoubtedly all over your face. It bothers you that there's a little part of you that enjoys this, but that's a confession you plan on taking to the grave.
"Enjoy it while it lasts, because you're not getting any again."
"Fine. I'm still waiting for your grand secret," he says, now biting the tines of his fork like an untrained dog. No rest for the weary, you suppose. "Food is food. Prove me wrong."
Despite the betrayal of your basal human instincts, you're determined to make this a bad encounter. Maybe you hadn't anticipated the full force of Seungcheol's overgrown fratboy persona, but you came here for a reason and you do plan to see it through.
"There is no secret." You split apart an empanada, the guts steaming and fragrant. "You eat."
"Like this?" He crams an entire piece in his mouth, and you watch him recoil and huff the heat out. "Mmm, 's pretty good, though."
Your eyes almost roll back far enough to see the wrinkles of your brain. Of course he wouldn't get it, but you don't know what you were expecting from a guy who thinks Hot Pockets are fine dining.
You put on your most pretentious food critic face. "Eating is about respect. Storytelling. He's retelling the first time someone made him this dish. The ingredients—they're words on a page. An autobiography." Your hand finds your chest and you sigh, a final touch to your Oscar winning melodrama that would certainly annoy anyone with even half a brain.
"Huh. Poetic," he says. He's still fanning his (very full) mouth, but he chews a little more slowly. "I'm respecting. I'm taking it in."
You don't know if he's actually doing any of that, but, when he takes his next bite he asks about what's in it (tomato, raisin, egg) and if someone really made the chef an empanada when he was younger (yes, on the flour-printed counter, every Sunday morning).
You press on. It shouldn't take much to bore him, but with every question, food-related factoid, and snide comment you have, he matches you with genuine curiosity. Either he's an excellent actor or he's secretly culinary school-bound, because you can't actually imagine anyone putting up with any of that, nonetheless I like dick jokes and football Choi Seungcheol.
You spend the rest of the evening like this, spoon to heart to cherry mouth. The wine is abundant, and Seungcheol spends more time listening than talking, which he admits is a first for him.
"You really know a lot about food," he says, likely fighting the urge to use his finger to get the last of the chocolate sauce off the churro plate. "I like that."
It's a cheap compliment in a game of low blows, but it sits warm and content in your chest. You have to force yourself back to the night you met him, when he was all cognac and one-liners and he gave you his spare hotel room key. A good reminder of his true nature, you think, despite the fact that he just listened to you talk about all the different grains of rice, ad nauseum.
"It's my job," is your reply, adequately distant for your liking.
"Fair. You gonna ask me about mine?"
"What more is there to know?" You hold up the check. "You're paying, right? Chivalry and all that?"
You're waiting for him to mention the company card, the only one allocated to your section that Seungcheol couldn't possibly have because it's sitting snug in your purse. The one you'll say you conveniently forgot so you get to see a grown man squirm at paying the bill.
"Already did. Gave the host my card when I got here. You're holding the customer copy." His chuckle disappears under the lip of his wine glass. "Bet you were excited to use the company card, huh?"
If shame were a physical object, you feel like your own personal Atlas. Your only option is to stare at the wasteland of empty plates before you and wonder how deep Seungcheol's pockets really are.
"Hardly. More excited that I burned a hole in your wallet." You click your tongue, out of options on how to ruin Seungcheol's night. You would spill wine on him but there's none left. "Anyway, I'm heading out."
"Running away?"
"Bored," you lie.
He calls you a taxi, and you walk out together, night heavy with the rhinestone glare of Friday night traffic.
"I actually had a nice time tonight," Seungcheol says, emphasis on the actually.
"Unfortunate."
"How do you think I feel?"
The taxi pulls to the curb, and he sighs, weighty with exaggerated relief. You can't even take it seriously because he's looking right at you and badly failing to push down the smile at the corners of his mouth.
It's only now that you notice his eyes are really brown, like he's from a cartoon or something. Worse, you'd daresay they're nice, less menacing, when they're tempered by a good meal and semi-public humiliation.
"Text me when you get back to your villain lair."
"If I were a real villain, you would have a lot more to worry about."
Seungcheol opens the cab door for you, and you catch a whiff of the cologne he undoubtedly smeared on in the toothpaste-streaked mirror of his five by five studio bathroom. Pine, leather, and citrus, which is the most pedestrian combination of smells to exist and yet you doubt it hasn't done him any favors.
"I'm terrified. Shaking." You clamber into the backseat, and he smiles at you again, as if you've forgotten what all his other ones looked like. "By the way—"
You have half a mind to shut the door in his face, but you can't find it within you—maybe it's the wine, or perhaps pure defeat. Probably the former.
"This job. It's—" He clicks his tongue and looks at the tops of his leather shoes. He's actually thinking, and you don't like it. "Never mind. See you Monday."
And then the words are gone. He shuts the cab door, and they're left in a plume of exhaust and Seungcheol's tiny waving figure in the rearview mirror.
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"So you're telling me you went on a date with your worst enemy."
It's 8 AM, and Jeonghan isn't pulling punches. Even through the phone, you can see his lazy grin, the pen he's flipping in his hand, the green ribbon of the Dow Jones on his desktop.
The newsroom is refreshingly near empty, except for Joshua, who hovers around the water cooler like a fly on the wall, if flies wore Armani ties and cigarette jeans.
"It wasn't a date, and I wanted to ruin it so he would have nothing to write about."
"No one goes on a date to ruin it. You could have just left."
"Clearly you haven't seen How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days."
"Are you serious." Jeonghan laughs, crackly and bright. "Care to tell me how that movie ends?"
"Except he isn't Matthew Mcconaughey. He says spaghetti like pah-scetti and doesn't use Oxford commas."
Mid-laugh, you endure another beat of extended eye contact with your editor until he beckons you over. He'd likely been waiting for the perfect time to interrupt the conversation he was so subtly eavesdropping on—oh, how you love a newsroom with an "open floor plan" to "facilitate communication." Sometimes you think the reason Joshua's stuck around this long is because reporters can't stay away from drama, especially if they're not the ones reporting it.
"I gotta go," you tell Jeonghan, whose version of a goodbye is a triumphant cackle.
You find Joshua putzing around, plastic water cup incriminatingly full.
"I take it you had an enjoyable weekend?" he asks, eyes sequined with all the secrets they hold.
"Yup. Just working on that Dining Through The Years article." Not entirely a lie—you are hedging your bets on this story, one where you revisit the restaurants you wrote about when you first got your start at the paper (Nai included, although admittedly yesterday's food was the least of your concerns). "You needed me?"
"Glad to see New York's finest chefs are well-versed in Kate Hudson's filmography," he says, grinning something beastly. If he weren't your boss, you'd knock that little water cup clean out of his hand. "Anyway, if your interview is over, I need you to go on a field trip."
"Field trip?"
Surely you're better than a task for the interns. You wonder if they're off fighting their own demons, seeing as you missed the circus in the elevator this morning, the usual juggle of hazelnut lattes and lemon poppyseed muffins for the higher-ups.
"Wonwoo needs you to help pick out catering for the corporate event later next week." Joshua tips his head back at Wonwoo's glass-plated office, where you see him redoing his tie in the reflection of his computer monitor. "My guess is that Yerim is going to be there, and he wants to make a good impression. Like an 'I consulted a food expert' impression."
Classic gossip queen Hong Joshua, always with the unnecessary but incredibly cogent commentary on office politics. You think you're actually going to miss the bastard.
"Flattered," you remark dryly. "Catering from where?"
"That's the thing. It's from this Thai place like two hours out from the city."
Two hours: code for an all day endeavor. He wasn't kidding when he said field trip.
You graciously resist the urge to groan out loud. No one told you taking the high road is one big slog through the mud, but here you are. You tell yourself this will help your campaign to be editor—the stinky, dirt-smeared silver lining.
"Before you ask—yes, I know you cannot take the subway there." You blink at him, wondering why this all feels like the set-up to a terrible joke. "Luckily, as you probably know, Seungcheol drives here every day and has offered to help."
Ah. There it is. You look for the blinking applause sign hanging above your head and the chorus of riotous Seungcheols making up your own personal laugh track.
"Only back to the office, though—" Joshua adds, as if that provides you any solace. "There's a one-way bus going up there at noon."
"N-not both ways?" you croak.
"Something about funds," he replies, shrugging. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger."
"You're not the one I'm thinking of shooting."
"Who knows? Maybe he is Matthew McConaughey." And when your glare turns sharp as the edge of a santoku knife, he holds his hands up like he's getting arrested. "I'm just saying. As your friend, not your editor."
Whatever.
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You have to admit, Wonwoo does have impeccable taste in Thai food.
Three noodle dishes, two curries, and the best mango sticky rice you've ever had: that's what it took for you to finally say "not all men." Certainly not Wonwoo, who's in deep enough to send his goons cross-state for a girl he's tried to woo for almost a whole year now.
A tamarind sunset blankets the countryside in milk and honey. You're sitting on a bench, ridiculously full with leftovers to spare, waiting for your chauffeur from hell.
Two years and you still don't know what car Seungcheol drives. Your last memory of it is it being flashy, impractical, and loud, much like him.
You know this, and yet you are still surprised when a gnat of a BMW rips into the curb in front of you. The passenger window crawls down, and Seungcheol has the gall to whistle at you.
For someone so predictable, he sure does manage to find new ways to piss you off. Unfortunately, on brand— according to him, Consistency Is Key (number 2 on Keeping the Spark Alive, August 2022 issue). You've done your reading.
"You're welcome," is the first thing Seungcheol says to you after cranking down the volume of the radio and watching you fumble with the seatbelt.
"You really didn't have to." You look at the array of gas station snacks bubbling out of the cupholders—Sour Patch Kids, a Big Gulp, and Flamin’ Hot Fritos. You didn't even know they sold Sour Patch Kids to full grown adults.
Still, you do feel a little bad. You can count on one hand the amount of people you would do this for and still have one or two cheese-dusted fingers left.
"But, thank you."
"Joshua made me," he says, and what happened this morning starts to make a lot more sense. "Plus, I was a little jealous. I would kill for a day frolicking in the sun, eating delicious food, far, far away from the big city. Not trapped like me in the newsroom, exhausted, toiling away on my magnum opus."
The sigh that crawls from his chapped lips practically shakes the car.
"I'm retracting my thank you."
"I'm devastated. Really."
You choose to watch the strip of shitty New York highway unravel through the greasy passenger window. No point in picking a fight when you're in a leather quilted jail cell for the foreseeable future.
It's at the thirty minute mark where Seungcheol casts the first stone of terrible, stilted small talk.
"Why'd you get sent all the way out here anyway?"
The red taillight flush of rush hour floods the car, an unpleasant reminder of the real sunset left far behind you.
"Thought you knew it was Wonwoo."
"Yeah, but why?"
Why does it matter? Is your first thought, but you realize he's attempting to actually have a genuine conversation with you, which you suppose is better than him flinging around another rude remark. Either that, or he's falling asleep, and you'd rather not have the last moments of your life be in Seungcheol's chick magnet car.
"Joshua thinks it's because he wants to impress Yerim at the corporate meeting this week. I guess she likes Thai."
Traffic is slow enough for him to turn to look at you, really look at you.
"Come on, he can't like her that much."
"Yes, he can." you try to read his expression, neon-glossy. "This isn't even that much effort."
"Nah," he shrugs. "There's gotta be some kind of ulterior motive. Maybe he wants to move into corporate."
"Hot take for a romantic." You frown. "Not everything people do is a career move, you know."
You omit the unlike you that sits heavy in the back of your throat, although, his cavalier approach to relationships is starting to make a little more sense. You wonder if this whole thing—the dates, the watch, the Invisalign smiles—is just a long, drawn-out joke to him.
"Seems like a lot of effort to go through for an office crush." His gaze drifts back to the road. "The extravagant birthday present. Always having her favorite flowers in the office. That one cringe voicemail we all heard him re-record ten times. No one likes anyone that much. Come on. Her dad is the CEO of the company."
Suddenly his winning smile doesn't seem so triumphant. It almost feels like a betrayal, but you don't know why.
"Maybe he just likes her," you reply. "I dunno. I choose to believe that. I think it's sweet."
"Maybe you're the romantic." The words come out like an accusation; Seungcheol laughs, but all the joy's been sucked out of it.
"Who hurt you?"
"No one did. I'm just being honest."
You would laugh at the irony if it didn't feel like there was a vine wrapped round your throat. Life is funny, but never so funny as to curse New York's favorite romance writer with cynicism and a lying streak.
"Controversial, but I actually want to do nice things for the person I like."
"And when was the last time that happened?" He's deflecting, which is predictably on brand for him. His grin, now playful, is propped up by a pair of frustratingly well-formed dimples.
You can't even find it within you to protest because he's right—you haven't dated in a long time. Joshua stopped asking if you were bringing a plus one to office parties ages ago.
But it's not that you can't—in fact, the last time you did, you think it broke you a little inside. It's certainly not a story Seungcheol's privy to, though. You already feel strange, cut-open, trying to convince him that people are capable of meaningful relationships.
Childishly, there's also a part of you chasing the truth about him because it takes him further and further away from you. So you do what you do best and deflect again. Two can play at that game.
"Not taking criticism from a guy who's dated half of the city and has nothing to show for it."
"I wouldn't say nothing."
He opens his mouth then closes it again, as if he's revising the words on his tongue. Journalist behavior, which you didn't even know he could still exhibit.
Now you're really thinking. Who hurt him, and how? The development that Seungcheol is more than the playboy slime haunting page 3 intrigues you more than you'd care to admit.
Before you can pry, Seungcheol's stomach growls, almost offensively loud.
"Sorry," he says. "Who would've thunk that corn chips aren't a balanced meal?"
You stare at the takeout boxes snug in your lap. There is a cosmic message being sent right now.
Seungcheol's sad, Frito-filled belly. Fresh noodle that won't keep well in the fridge. Tax and tip for a four hour car ride back to the city. Expanding your repertoire of blackmail so that you can claim your rightful helm at the paper.
These are all the reasons you give yourself for what you ask next.
"You in a rush?"
"How could I be—do you see the blinding speed we're driving at?" He laughs at his own incredibly unfunny attempt at a joke. "No, I'm not."
"I may or may not have an actual balanced meal for you."
That’s how you end up in the parking lot of a random 7/11 off the freeway. In any other circumstances, it would be a cruel and unusual punishment, but you've already been whittled down enough to actually care about Seungcheol, even if just a little.
That's what you tell yourself, anyway, as you watch him finish the last of the takeout.
"So I'm bad at food, and you're bad at love. Why the fuck did Wonwoo even think of promoting either of us?" Seungcheol kicks his shoes off and props his feet up on the dashboard. You notice his socks have dogs on them, little linty brown ones, and you feel a little worse about openly bullying him about his fashion taste in front of the entirety of copy staff.
"I may be bad at love, but you're worse. Especially for someone who does it for a living," you retort. "Don't think I forgot our earlier conversation."
You try to read the tiny text on a receipt he's got stashed in the center console, among his graveyard of snack wrappers. (2) CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH…8.78. (1) M MT DEW BAJA BLAST…1.00.
Definitely bad at food, you muse to yourself.
"You think I'm not kicking myself right now? That I have a beautiful girl in my car right now, and all we do is argue?"
Now that—nothing could have prepared you for that.
It gets awfully quiet. The noise of the freeway seems to screech to a fever pitch, all horns and the thrum of the asphalt. You wish anything but John Mayer was playing on the radio.
You will the headlines man in your head to make you laugh. Instead, your brain presses the word beautiful into your neurons and you feel all the heat in your body float to your face, traitorously, dizzyingly. John Mayer croons, your body is a wonderland and your stomach knots into itself over and over again.
"Stop that."
"What?" Seungcheol's head lolls to his shoulder so he can look at you from the corner of his eye. " 's not a big deal. Never been called beautiful?"
A grin plays on his lips, expression dancing on something grim, like he's spoken his final words.
"I'm serious! Stop trying to get me to like you." You huff and cross your arms over your chest, like it'll somehow make you feel more normal. "I'm not some experiment for your column."
"Is it working?"
You don't answer. How can you? There's a yes resting on the roof of your mouth, surely the product of the handful of real, actual moments you've now had with him—far too many for your liking. This whole charade has been a balancing act on the razor edge between rivals and something else, and now you're feeling the sting.
"For the record, I have been called beautiful before."
"And for the record, you're not an experiment for my column. You never were."
There's a relief that pulses through your chest, a breathless, wonderful kind of dizziness. You grab hold of it as soon as it's reared its ugly head. You're flying way too close to the sun, chasing cheap validation from the same guy who ate your lunch out of the fridge last week.
He's no better—he looks like the vulnerability cracked him open a little, and you're the one holding the hammer. It makes for a grubby, unflattering portrait of two emotionally inept people trying to play feelings.
However, much like all other things Seungcheol, any glimpse of something real is gone before you know it. He takes a loud, noisy pull of Diet Coke, and the spell is broken.
"Want any?" And when you shake your head, grateful to swallow the words pressed to your tongue, he says, "Should we wait out traffic here?"
This is an easier yes. You tell yourself you're getting sick of brake lights and reading the license plates on the back of other people's cars. Certainly that makes Seungcheol's gaze, lingering and moonlight-warmed, a little more tolerable.
For once, you don't talk about Wonwoo or your job. You don't talk about love, either.
Maybe this is the reason the next few hours slip through your fingers. Three folded takeout pagodas and a secret—somehow this is all it takes for you to hate Seungcheol just a little less.
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Usually, a good eggs benedict can solve the majority of your problems. Today seems to be the exception. The hollandaise is broken, Jeonghan is already laughing at you, and nothing will ever erase the fact that Seungcheol drove you home last night and now he knows where you live. If you wake up one morning and see a sniper laser pointed at your forehead, you have no one to blame but yourself.
"You look exhausted." An eighth of a buckwheat pancake disappears into Jeonghan's mouth. "You literally eat for a living. There is no reason for them to keep you late."
Jeonghan has a funny way of caring about you, but he's right. You did get home at 2 AM yesterday, but that was on you, not Wonwoo.
"I'm not going to let a corporate slug tell me what is and isn't a real job," you sigh, taking a swig of your half-flat mimosa and reminding yourself to figure out which staff writer gave this place 4 stars in last week's paper.
"Says the girl who needs the company card to afford bottomless brunch," Jeonghan replies.
"At least I'm not a slave to my career."
"What do you call this whole thing with your coworker then, huh? It's all you text me about." The smirk on Jeonghan's face is miserably, tragically righteous, and you can't even be mad about it.
"Seungcheol is my enemy, remember?"
"You sent me a five minute voice memo the other day ranting about how he went on a date with another girl." And just like the little shit he is, he even pulls up your mile-long text history, just to rub it in your face a little harder.
"Am I not allowed to wish for his demise? Since when were you the mature one?"
"I wouldn't call keeping track of his whereabouts wishing for his demise." Jeonghan takes a well-timed bite of your hashbrowns. "Something tells me you're wishing for something a little different."
You almost choke on a blueberry.
"Absolutely not."
You watch Jeonghan power down another mimosa, half-fascinated, half-appalled he would even dream of suggesting something so vile.
The memory of Seungcheol, leant back in the driver’s seat, lowering greasy spools of rice noodles into his mouth, crosses your mind. He had laughed until he cried when he asked you if a pineapple had really fried this rice. That was the kind of man you were dealing with. You can't believe you laughed with him.
"I think it'll be good for you to get back into dating again. Mingyu was, what, three years ago?"
And that's the chocolate chip studded, syrup-covered nail in your coffin. Of course all roads had to lead back to you and your relationship trauma Jeonghan considered unresolved.
You had dated Mingyu when you were younger, softer. It was a love of firsts, of sun-washed mornings and farmer's market Sundays, of raw, black currant midnights and whatever long-winded conversation you had spent all day on.
Mingyu was a chef. His hands, his lips, his eyes—that's how you fell in love with food. Strawberry kisses into fresh pasta into the first time someone had ever cooked for you. What a wonderful, terrible thing to see all your history on a plate, the I could never eat peas, the once I ate mangos till I was sick, the guilty spoon in the vanilla ice cream after a bad day and the dark chocolate you keep in your purse. He remembered that you like your noodles just a little bit overcooked, and you don't even think you told him that.
Food, like some shitty piece of home decor would say in that swirling, curly font, really is some window to the soul. It didn't fully hit you until, one day, you were at the grocery store alone, and somehow you knew exactly what brand of everything Mingyu liked.
You opened a restaurant together after you graduated from college. Then it closed, and you lost Mingyu to Naples or New Orleans or Seoul—somewhere, anywhere to escape the corner of 5th and 40th, the December-pleated memory of his hands in yours and a promise you could never keep.
You're sure you're over it by now, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't look for him in a bowl of his favorite ramyun, the one you could never replicate even though he insisted he just added hot water (Food tastes best when it's a gift, he'd say. You never understood until now.).
Jeonghan doesn't believe you because every time you try explaining this to him, you end up sounding like the most chronically lonely person on planet Earth.
"That is the wrong guy to suggest then," you instead reply, feeling all the food dry up in your mouth.
"I'm running out of options."
"Don't you have a hot coworker or something?"
You shut your eyes, pushing Mingyu back to recall literally any face from one of the many swanky corporate parties Jeonghan bullied you into attending. The only person coming to mind is Lee Chan, and even more than his face, you remember the fat platinum band around his ring finger (Better luck next time, Jeonghan had said, mid-cheese cube).
Worse, amidst all the fuzz, a grainy recollection of Seungcheol's wet cow eyes washes up against your eyelids, and it's not going away this time.
"I thought we were all corporate slugs," Jeonghan replies, enjoying the way you glower at him over your fork. "I was kidding, anyway. Relax."
Your entire body heaves with the sigh that escapes you.
You thank god that Jeonghan is never serious, because otherwise you'd have to consider the fact that he really thought you should date Seungcheol. Jeonghan, who knows the pizza column you, the Mingyu you, and now the you that works late because there's nothing else left to do, really might have thought you should date grifter by day, con artist by night Seungcheol.
The fluorescent glaze of the gas station lights. Seungcheol's hand on the gear stick. His voice, warm and gauzy. It's like there's a flash drive of last night plugged into your head, and you can't take it out.
The stem of the champagne glass finds your hand, and you down the whole thing.
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Monday is uneventful. So is Tuesday, and you wonder what good deed you'd done to deserve such a blessing.
Wednesday, you realize you're just three interviews away from what could possibly be the best article of your life. Unfortunately, two of those won't pick up the phone and the third keeps rescheduling on you.
That's fine—Rome wasn't built in a day, and the same hopefully applies to your future noodle empire.
You're using your lunch break to write an email to number two when you notice Seungcheol hovering around your desk, a plastic straw in his mouth and evil in his eyes.
He's taken to publicly annoying you at work more than usual—Progress, Joshua had told you in the elevator this morning. Towards what? you had asked. He shrugged, letting his crafty, knowing look do all the talking.
"Me, you, and date number two?" is today's opening line. Before you can peel yourself away from your computer and give him a good lashing for whatever the fuck he just said to you, he continues with, "How's that for a follow-up text to my speakeasy date?"
"Lame," you reply, hackles still raised but now re-reading your email for typos.
"Wrong. You were supposed to say incredibly romantic, extremely witty, and unfairly charming." He perches his baseball player ass on the corner of your desk, waiting to be humbled. This is the usual order of things, which has shockingly become more of a familiarity than anything else.
"Do you even have a romantic bone in your body?"
Seungcheol raises an eyebrow. "Just one, but it's the only one that matters."
"Ew. Gross." You wrinkle your nose and attempt to soothe your temper with a sip of the terrible protein shake you got for lunch. "No wonder your column sucks."
"If mine sucks, I'd hate to see what people are saying about yours." And when your reply is a tired, hungry swig of your sad drink, he says, "No lunch today? Even I had something better."
"Lucky you."
The bigger truth is that that the deadline for your article, looming before you, is getting to you more than you'd care to admit. Seungcheol isn't helping, not with his bottomless magic hat of date stories that seems to only grow deeper by the day. Now you're forgetting to pack a lunch, and the highlight of your day has been reduced to punching numbers into a vending machine.
Things are bad, but you'll never say that aloud, especially not to the guy who'll spend the next five years dunking on you if you keep this up.
You stare down the lip of your bottle at the faux-chocolate dregs streaking the bottom.
The month before Mingyu opened his restaurant, you were so preoccupied with making sure everything was just right that you also forgot to eat. One day, leftovers from his work started magically appearing in your fridge. Chow fun (miss you!), salt and pepper shrimp (don't forget to drink water!), a gargantuan vat of hot and sour soup (love you most!).
It was a perfect coincidence until you realized there was no way Chinese takeout was coming out of a very French restaurant, and it was then you learned that love is never really a coincidence.
Now you have no coincidences, mapo tofu, or romance. Just muscle milk and a front row view of the struggling inseam of a man who must shrink his pants in the dryer.
He's peeling a tangerine. Your worst confession to date is that it's easy on the eyes. For once, his hands, always made busy with some scheme, now still over the rind, steady, practiced. Plus, it looks like a marble in his huge hands, which is unfortunately both funny and a little hot.
"Stare any longer, and I'm gonna forget how to peel this."
"Don’t flatter yourself. Just hungry," you half-lie.
Hungry, Stressed, And Delusional—The New Holy Trinity.
It's a catchy headline, but not a great look for you. Never in your life did you think you'd be ogling a man peeling an orange. He even takes all the pith off, and you don't have the heart to tell him that's where all the nutrients are.
"Exactly," he replies. Then he plops the naked, shiny fruit right on your bare desk. "Here. Eat."
You’re so taken aback, all you can do is stare. First at the orange, then at Seungcheol, who suddenly cannot make eye contact with you. Instead, he stacks the peel in his hands, dimpled piece over piece.
"Payback for the, uh, Thai," he says, and although you wouldn't equate a tangerine to James Beard awarded pad kee mao, all you can think of is an lime green sticky note in your fridge and a smile.
A gift. A pithless, wrinkly one.
The idea that Seungcheol was capable of being genuinely nice to anyone, nonetheless, you—probably the most undeserving person of it in the world—makes you feel something close to guilt.
You push through the feeling, instead taking the fruit in your hand and splitting it between your thumbs. The flesh caves so easily, and it's then you remember that food, unlike people, doesn't have to be complicated.
You can feel a better person somewhere inside you, someone easier to care for and with less of a bad attitude. You're not there yet, but there's a dark, satisfying comfort in not being good enough for the indulgence of that kind of intimacy. An arm's length was never too far away for you, except now there's someone sitting on your desk and they gave you lunch. Worst of all, you don't think you mind.
You hold out the half—sticky, guilty fingers and all.
Seungcheol wordlessly accepts it. There's no surprise or confusion—he smiles, you say cheers, and you both take a bite.
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On weekends, the Korean place down the street from your college apartment sold corn dogs until 3 AM. That was when words came easy and love came easier.
It was with sugar all over your nose, eyes pressed to the once forgiving half-moon, where you told Mingyu you would become a writer.
The thing about youth is that it can float anything, no matter how holey, desperate it was. So you sailed through college, that gasping hope wound tight in your fist. Then you started freelancing, just in time for Mingyu’s soft open. You wanted to write, but more importantly, you wanted some way, any way to be useful to the person who had given you so much.
In retrospect, there was no way your crude attempts at actual journalism could ever generate real publicity for him. Not in the heart of New York, where a new restaurant opened every two days and someone wanted to get published every three.
So you eventually sank, and so did Mingyu, leaving you with all this creased, no good love in your chest to shrivel up with nowhere to go.
All of that landed you here. A degree, a dream job, and a laundry list of accolades, but the fruit of that love still hangs heavy and joy-rot on the vine, as you wait for it to be good enough for the taking.
Ironically, it reminded you of cooking. No one ever teaches you when to stop, and now every other joint has dry-aged steak and some version of a three-day demi glacé. But at least demi glacé tastes good—you don't even know what the fuck you're doing some days, and the feeling's never been worse than now, waiting on a call you were supposed to get two days ago.
The phone rings, just in time to distract you from the top button of Seungcheol's fitted shirt, which looks like it's holding on for dear life. He's currently deep in conversation with Mina from design, but every so often, he'll glance your way to see if you're just free enough to be bothered.
The unspoken perils of working late—less people around to pester on Wonwoo's dime.
Mina stuffs her laptop in her bag and checks her watch. Strike three for Seungcheol.
Working Hard Or Hardly Working: A Guide To Office Romances. You're surprised he hasn't written that one yet. Maybe Joshua shot it down.
"Hello?" The dial tone breaks into the warm, risen-bread voice of the woman you know to be the owner of one of your favorite hole-in-the-wall noodle spots. The Friday night after your review was published, there was a line out the door. It honestly felt like a no-brainer to you, and you had no hesitation telling the owner that you were sure her place would become a local mainstay. You watched her crow-footed eyes go moony and you couldn't help but picture the day your yellowed newspaper would be posted up on the wall, framed and prophetic.
You're ready to profusely apologize for not stopping by—truthfully, no bone broth has come close to hers. Instead, she apologizes to you, which you aren't sure is flattering or a sign something terrible has happened.
You hope it's the former, but you should have known that hoping has never been enough.
She tells you that she closed the doors to her restaurant yesterday. It all comes spilling out, one gut punch after the other, the bills and the empty tables and how things just weren't the same the year after your review was published. She thanks you for your time, your writing, and your belief, and then she hangs up.
Not a thing in your body feels capable of moving. All the phone static passes right through you until the week's canned up dread balls up in your throat and some darker-than-black feeling swallows you whole.
The fluorescent ceiling lights sear into you. You think you're going to cry, and that's the last thing you want.
To anyone else, it wouldn't be that serious. Restaurants close all the time, and you know an entry in your silly little column is a far cry from a Hail Mary. But all you can think of is Mingyu’s neon sign on 5th and 40th and the two pairs of hands that had to take it down. You think your fingerprints are still on it, right over the blue shock of the I and the N.
One more dream taking on water, and once again, you're at the sad, cruel center of it.
You try to imagine the gumpaste walls, bumpy and water-stained. Maybe a pale square where your review used to hang.
No, you're definitely going to cry.
Fuck this, fuck work, fuck the article. And fuck Seungcheol, who's packing up his annoying, jingly messenger bag and is the only thing standing between you and an empty office to lose your shit in.
You squeeze your eyes shut and try to remember if you're wearing waterproof mascara today. Unfortunately, the cowbell of Seungcheol's bag sounds like it's catching up to you, and, like it or not, you are two shaky breaths away from breaking down in front of the last person in the world you want to see.
"Final touches on another titillating piece about pineapple on pizza?"
You have no stomach for yelling at him. You can't even look at him. Instead, you bury your head in your hands and tell him to never use the word titillating again.
"A little too soon to play editor, in my humble opinion."
You don't reply. You're trying to scare him off without really scaring him off because god knows you've done that with enough people. Either way, he's calling you a crazy bitch at the next holiday party. You can just hear it.
But you should've known Seungcheol, of all people, doesn't flinch at a little silence. You still feel him hovering behind you, probably wondering if it's the half-full vanilla protein shake on your desk that's turned you sour. Or if you'll really make good on your threat to shank him with the plastic knife you keep in your top drawer.
Just walk away, you think. Go the fuck home.
Seungcheol, who gets paid to play cupid like it's fantasy football, would never understand that bite of the dial tone. Not like that. Half an orange is a hell of a toll to pay for your unfortunate work-related trauma.
You count the seconds till he walks away.
One. Two. Three.
Four is cut short because instead of doing what he should have done and left, he places a hesitant hand at the base of your neck, between your shoulder blades.
"Hey, you ok?"
Easy, noncommittal words, but something in you cracks. You don't know what it is—maybe it's because it's late and you're running on nothing, maybe it's because you can't remember the last time a hand was so warm.
And so, against your better judgment, you lift your streaky, raccoon-eyed face (definitely didn't use waterproof today) from your hands to look at the same eyes you looked at not more than a month ago and swore at.
You're glad you have no idea what you look like, because it's bad enough that all the corners of Seungcheol's face fall.
"Whoa," he breathes.
Now he'll know when to leave me alone, you think, but then that hand slides to your shoulder and his expression becomes impossibly soft and what you thought was confusion, pity even, dips into affection, stinging and raw.
"Listen, I—," he clears his throat nervously. Perhaps he's running through his repertoire of Wikihow phrases to say to a sad person, but you, inexplicably, don't believe that. "I don't know what's going on, but if you, you know, ever needed to talk…" Then he points to himself because that's probably the longest he's gone without attempting to tell a joke.
You're two and a half shaky breaths into this conversation, and the likelihood you will start crying has not changed. If anything, the odds have gotten much worse because the stubbornness of Seungcheol's expression is fooling you into thinking he actually cares. The illusion is comforting—after all the fighting and sabotage and inconveniences, he's still made space for you. That, or he's keeping his enemies close.
Then his thumb rubs over the plane of your collarbone, and all the little walls and hurdles and dams and shields in you drop.
Close friends, closer enemies, and the infinitesimal space between you and Seungcheol.
You'll blame your sorry state of mind for what you're about to do because you can't really cope with any other explanation. That's a tomorrow problem.
Today, you trust Seungcheol. Today, you tell him not everything, but enough.
"Forgive yourself," he says. And before you protest and tell him, through the waves of tears and snot and lightheadedness, that your heart has yet to catch up to the rest of you, he interrupts you before you even start. "I get it. Just try."
You’re all too familiar with his sugar-floss, candy-coated platitudes that make everything seem so simple, but he looks you in the eye, or somewhere even deeper than that, with so much belief, it's contagious.
The words are ripped out from under you. All you can do is what you wanted to do in the first place. So you cry, and when Seungcheol takes you into his arms, at first tentatively and then all at once, you cry even harder.
"Is this ok?" he asks, so quietly, you almost don't hear him.
"Yeah, I-I think so."
You let him hold you, and all the noise and the heat and the static fades into a hum. His chin finds the top of your head and you let him do that too.
Neither of you say anything more. You don't need to.
All that matters is the welcome sound of someone else's heartbeat, a kind hand in your hair, and Seungcheol, with none of the charms and boasts and failed, half-baked insults he hides behind.
Just him, and you decide you like this version best.
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The emotional hangover you wake up with rivals that of every vodka-flavored morning you had when you were in college, plus another two shots.
There is nothing worse than the aftermath of a particularly bad episode of oversharing. There's a reason you don't talk about your personal life at all, but something about Seungcheol makes every single thing claw its way back up your throat.
A need to prove yourself. A tiny, whispering hope that if you give a little, you'll get a little in return. Or your pride, the familiar knife you keep wedged into your side. A million excuses rattle around in your head, but nothing will ever take away the fact that it felt good.
Shields down, heart bleeding—never did you think that's how you would find yourself in a state where you actually liked Seungcheol. It felt good to be taken seriously, to say that all the talk about foie gras and peppercorns and microgreens was just tableside service for a great love and an even greater apology. And you'd like to think somewhere between the tears and the linen of his shirt, you were finally understood.
Just try. The words, sun-warmed stones, float in the hollow of your chest. It felt a little more possible, coming out of Seungcheol's mouth, with that dumb, resolute expression of his.
You don't even know if you would do the same for him. If he came to you, rosy-eyed and breakdown-adjacent, would you drop everything and listen to him? Clearly his problems ran deeper than a pretty girl not calling him back, but you had never really cared to listen.
And that's something you'll give Seungcheol credit for—he puts up with you, with everything, really, albeit with clumsy hands and the mask of reluctance.
You roll onto your side to reach for your phone. There's a text from Jeonghan asking if you're still up for grabbing drinks this evening. (Always). You have your final interview at 2. (Thank god).
And no text from Seungcheol. (Damn.)
Somehow this is disappointing, which makes your day that much worse. Maybe the runny mascara wasn't as flattering as you thought.
8 Totally Normal Texts To Send When You're Overthinking.
Not a good headline for a worse situation. Honestly, you shouldn't care, but now you're here, staring at your phone and undecided on if you even want Monday to come or not.
You'll order one (or three) margaritas tonight. You'll ask Jeonghan about his upcoming trip to Seoul. You'll make your favorite overnight oats and you'll go to sleep and Sunday will pass just the same.
You won't think about Seungcheol's arms around you or his head on top of yours or the way he insisted he would drive you to the subway so you didn't have to walk. You almost brushed against his hand on the gear stick and the nearness made you want to throw up.
But you're not thinking about it. You can't. Not without falling in love just a little.
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"Here. Drink."
You set two cups on the table before sitting face-to-face with Seungcheol, who decided to roll up to a coffee date in a somehow flattering polo and slacks.
But it's not a date—you're just talking. It's a meet-up. Not a hangout, which sounds too familiar, and definitely not a date.
Yesterday did not go as planned. Margarita-buzzed and under Jeonghan's terrible influence, you texted Seungcheol. Just to clear up some stuff, you told yourself. Friday night's like a scab, and you just can't help coming back to it.
"So, you're a coffee connoisseur too, huh?" Seungcheol says, tipping his head to the side.
"Not nearly," you reply. "Just wanted to pay for something for once. I'm pretty sure I owe you at least fifty of these."
"I'll hold you to it." He's doing that thing where it's like he stares past you. It's the most impressive eye contact on the planet, and it's making you nervous.
Then the silence, once welcome, becomes awkward—the air turns stiff, clinging to all the things you haven't said yet.
You play chicken with the idea of being an emotionally intelligent person and just talking about what most certainly is on everyone's mind right now. The cup between your hands is burning your palms. Seungcheol smiles.
"I'm—" The exact moment you start, the words crinkle up on your tongue and all the walls come back up again. It's a terrible, inevitable instinct. "I'm sorry. For Friday."
"For…what?" Seungcheol pauses mid-sip to say this. "Also, this coffee is really good."
Arabica, orange, and honey, you want to say. But you can't deflect this time. Somehow Seungcheol has cornered you into this tiny cafe chair with that disarming grin and an overabundance of patience.
"Everything, I guess. You were just trying to leave."
"No, I wasn't." And he laughs, which makes your stomach fold over trying to figure out what there possibly is to laugh at. "I actually liked getting to know you. You…care a lot. And I didn't expect that."
Seungcheol's sincerity staggers you. You could ask what the hell he just meant by all of that, but you decide to take him for his word. You think you've experienced the most honesty from him in the past three days than you have in the entire span of time you've known him, and it almost feels like a privilege.
"Thanks…?"
"Don’t let it go to your head, though," he adds, as if to erase what he just said. "Can't have you walking around the office with a bigger stick in your ass."
"Poetic." You sigh. Once again, the illusion is shattered. You wonder if his kindness has a time limit. "How's your article coming along?"
"Nice try," he replies. "I'm not that easy."
"You're literally the definition of easy."
"Is that a compliment?" There's that challenge in his eyes again, that same look that he gave you outside Wonwoo's office. "You did ask me out on a date, despite saying that you'd rather eat glass. So I guess either there's a half-eaten plate in your trash or you've finally come to your senses."
"This is not a date. Dream on."
"You're right. This isn't a date." He leans forward on his elbows. "Just like our dinner date wasn't a date."
"It wasn't."
"Of course. If it was, I'd be asking stuff like…Where you're from. But I already know—h, e, double hockey—"
"Chicago."
"Same difference."
Your conversation continues as such.
Not a date, but where'd you go to college? Not a date, but do you have a pet? Not a date, but can I walk you home?
You realize your talk in his car two weeks ago involved everything but your pasts, but you suppose neither of you are the type to unwrap old wounds. Sometimes the bandaid is better on, but, in your case, there's really nothing left to tell.
You divulge that you went to Northwestern for journalism. You have a family tabby, and no, you wouldn't mind being walked home.
You also realize before today, you knew less about Seungcheol than you thought, but there's some give to his secrecy. He went to USC because his parents wanted him to. Played football for half of it until he tore his ACL and got adopted by the sports section of the school paper. He even captained the advice column for three semesters—something he wants to return to, but you're happy to tell him you wouldn't trust his advice as far as you could throw him. (What was your alias? Samuel. Sounds kinda like Seungcheol, huh? You say no. He laughs.)
After circling the same park three times, you reach the doorstep of your apartment building. You cycle through some one-liners to end on a high note, but none of them seem quite right.
It's not a date, but you've noticed Seungcheol keeps glancing at your lips, and it almost seems like one.
It's not a date, but Seungcheol asks some stupid question about if coffee could be considered tea, which you start to answer before you are rudely interrupted.
First, the bump of his nose against yours, then his lips, slow, insistent, dizzying. Your heart jumps all the way to your throat and you think there's so much heat in your cheeks that he can feel it.
It's not a date, but Seungcheol just kissed you and you liked it.
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The next time you see Seungcheol is in the elevator to the newsroom on Monday.
He sticks his dumb, big arm out of the cabin to hold the door open for you, and his smile bruises your overripe heart.
"Hi," he says, sneaking a glance like a guilty child.
"Hi."
The floor indicators flicker like fireflies, one by one. He sidesteps toward you so that your shoulders touch. You watch the 4 crawl to 5. The air in the cabin is sticky, electric.
And as if taking a great big dive, you kiss him, a fleeting, tender thing that you rolled around in your head for a good thirty minutes earlier this morning—and you never thought the fruit of overthinking could be so sweet.
The elevator dings.
Before the doors open to your floor, Seungcheol slams the close button, takes your face in his hands, and kisses you again.
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You have three reasons to get drunk.
1. It's Friday.
2. You finished your article.
3. You and Seungcheol are no longer mortal enemies, but now you don't know what you are.
(The other day, you both worked late, and he ordered takeout to the office. You sat crosslegged on his desk as he tried to explain what a touchdown was and why he was obsessed with the Steelers. Normally a two hour long conversation about football would be a punishable offense, but that night he made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt the next day.)
After Wonwoo's dinner with corporate, he went to the market across the street and picked up a few handles of soju and the fattest bottle of cheap vodka you've ever seen.
You're all getting a raise—you guess the Thai must have worked out well, although Wonwoo must have struck out with Yerim since he's spending his Friday night drinking with you guys instead.
So you get drunk.
Drunk enough to tune out of Jihyo from Sports giving Wonwoo dating advice—riveting, if not for your near double vision—and follow Seungcheol to the staff bathroom.
"Anyone—," you manage. His lips are hot on your neck, and every dizzy neuron in your body seems to be reaching, grasping for him. "Anyone ever tell you that your forearms look really good when you roll up your sleeves?"
"All the time," he replies, and he swallows the laugh right off of your tongue.
"You are so annoying." Your palm finds his heartbeat, and you revel in how it leaps towards your skin every hurried beat. You don't want to think about how many girls came before you, leant back against the bathroom counter just like this, but having a body against yours never felt so good. You guess that's what a three year hiatus will do to you. "Bet you hear that one a lot too, huh?"
"You got that right."
Another kiss, just a nudge of his nose and you're leaning up to him; your lips feel swollen and warm and somehow they still crave the feeling.
"How is it that we still bump noses," you ask, half words, half air. Seungcheol's hands, skin-greedy, skim over the back of your thighs like they're water and find the swell of your ass.
"You make me impatient." Cheshire grin across heart lips and you're toast. "Anyone tell you that you have a great ass?"
"All the time," you squeak out. It's a lie and a half but who cares. His fingers drag under the seam of your underwear and you've never been so thankful you forgot to wear shorts under your dress.
"Need you," he says, lips flush to the skin behind your ear, and your lower half would give out if you weren't propped against the sink.
The idea of Seungcheol on his knees, your thigh hiked over his shoulder, crosses your mind. He'd probably be really good at head, and that makes you dizzier than any ungodly combination of alcohol would. Or would he press you against the mirror, want your skirt pushed to your waist so he could fuck you from behind?
Anticipation tumbles into anxiety into some primordial, horrible shyness because you haven't had sex in years. You feel hot and damp and sweaty and you can't remember if you shaved or not. Plus, you're already seizing in his arms and he hasn't even touched you for real yet.
"H-home," you breathe. "Let's go home."
"Hm?" His hand slows in the dip between your thighs. "You wanna stop? We can stop."
"No, I just…I just thought it would be better if we went home. To…you know."
"Yours or mine?"
"Mine’s closer," you answer after a considerable amount of mental gymnastics trying to figure out if you're both drunk enough to not mind the mess.
You know your apartment and you know your bed and you know where the bathroom is in case you have to pee. There's a box of condoms under the sink. You have an extra toothbrush for him. Less variables to worry about because nothing else has really gone to plan. You watch Seungcheol misbutton the top two buttons on his shirt and all the fondness in your heart feels like a welcome stranger in your body.
How To Ruin The Moment In One Easy Step!
You feel incredibly horny and guilty all at once, but Seungcheol kisses your cheek on the way out and it's like you're able to breathe again.
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It seems that the car ride to your place sucks all the sobriety back into the both of you.
You're lying stomach-down on your bed, Seungcheol against the headboard with his shirt undone. You're in your bra and your still sticky underwear, and somehow, despite being ready to break your three-year spell, you like this much better.
"Imagine if someone needed to piss," Seungcheol groans. "I think we would have gotten fired. Lifestyle would have no editor."
"I honestly think that's why Seungkwan was standing outside for so long."
Upon hearing this, Seungcheol's eyes shoot open. If your phone wasn't charging, you would take a picture. He fell asleep on your shoulder in the car, and now, even with all the affection you can muster, you can only describe his hair as broom-adjacent. Einstein-core. How far you've fallen from grace.
"Don't worry, he won't say anything." And as you watch the color return to his face, you add, "Also, it's not that I didn't want to have sex, I just…" you trail off, hoping he'll get it even though you're making no sense.
"No, it was the right call. I wanna do it when we're both sober."
It smooths your frayed-out nerves knowing that none of this was a performance or a test, just two shy, touch-starved people stumbling in the dark.
"Lemme guess—this is just a typical Friday night for you."
"Flattering but no," Seungcheol replies, grinning something stupid. "Do you always spend this much time wondering what I'm doing?"
"No!" His hands, once busy with scrunching up the fabric of your bedsheets, now find yours, and he runs a careful thumb over your knuckles. You notice he has the care-worn hands of a line chef, or maybe even a baker, which is funny because you don't even think the man knows how to turn on an oven. "I dunno. You just seem so experienced. What about all of those other girls?"
He flips your hand over, tracing the creases of your palm.
"Just dates. Nothing serious."
You want to ask—What about us? Are we serious? But you swallow it all down. You watch Seungcheol's eyes, midnight-weary, fall back upon you, and it feels like he's trusted you with something important.
"Don’t get it twisted, though," he adds, before yawning big and wide without covering his mouth. "I'm a loser, not a virgin. Definitely not."
You bite back a laugh. Killer journalist bio, but that's something to pitch next content meeting.
"Definitely a loser. I think you make me a loser by association."
"Good. So we're both losers. I like that." He smiles at you with so much warmth, it makes your heart physically hurt. Then he clamps down another yawn. "God, I'm exhausted. I think if we fucked in the bathroom, I'd have passed out. Or pulled my back."
"Then sleep," you chide, shucking a pillow at him. "Also take your shirt off. I don't like outside clothes on the bed."
"Say less," Seungcheol says. "I’ll blow your back out another day. Save the date." Between your almost audible gulp and his unfortunately attractive physique, you almost forget the place you're in-between.
Did everyone fit into his arms? Did he lift a hand for just anyone? Two silhouettes in the lamplight—was that how every day with him ended? Or just you, the only other person competing with him for his dream job? The convenient reality scares you.
The thought never seems to cross Seungcheol's mind. His head hits the pillow, and he's out like a light. But not without a not-so-subtle scoot to your side of the bed, near enough that the heat of his skin plays off yours.
You lean into it, liking how your skin buzzes with the closeness.
You're lulled by the sway of Seungcheol's breathing behind you—probably the most quiet he'll ever be. The moonlight oozes into the room; sleep comes over you like water, a slow, gentle wash.
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You can't remember the last time you cooked for two.
You open your fridge, and the hollow insides stare back at you. Rows of condiments and two water bottles. You have finally reached K-drama CEO status.
"Is this the part where I get kicked out?" Seungcheol says, shrugging his shirt back on as he walks out of the bedroom.
"This is the part where I cook breakfast for you."
"Really? You don't have to." He sounds genuinely surprised, which tips your heart a little off-axis.
"I want to," you reply, double checking the fridge as if opening it a second time would repopulate it. "That's what people do when they care about each other."
"Or if they're trying to poison you."
"Will you just let me do something nice for you?" You yank your head out to glare at him, and he looks stung.
"Thanks." He says it after so much pause that you wonder if this is the first time someone has done this for him. You wish you had a better offering, but surely the man with the worst palate in the world could spare his judgment for one meal. "No really, 'cause I am starving."
You let him bask in the rare glory of the unobstructed refrigerator light while you rummage through the pantry for a plan B.
"Holy shit. You live like this?"
"Not always. It's been…a week." All you have is the ramyun Mingyu likes, which feels like a weird, culinary betrayal. But you're hungry, and Seungcheol is eyeing a strange bag in the freezer that you don't even remember putting there. "You good with ramyun?"
"Honestly, I'll eat anything," he whines, gnawing on the ice straight from the freezer drawer.
At least he's self-aware. But he makes all the spaces Mingyu left behind seem a little less empty, and you can't find it in you to be mad at that.
You wait for the water to boil and Seungcheol finds a seat at your tiny dinner table, a misaligned, wobbly product of Mingyu’s inability to read an Ikea manual.
"I'm hoping your week got better?" Seungcheol asks, referring to your capital W week.
You tentatively nod before dropping the noodles in.
"Of course it did—you woke up to me in your bed. Can't get better than that."
"Actually, it's because I finished my article yesterday."
Seungcheol pauses before laughing to himself. "Congrats," he replies, now wiggling the table on its bad leg. "Can't say the same for myself."
you watch the starch-foam wash over the mouth of the pot, precariously close to the edge. You overfilled it, which mildly surprises you until you consider that you're cooking double the food.
There's a stretchy, anxious tumble in your stomach. It's not like you were expecting him to cheer or anything, but it just reminds you that you are, still in fact, competitors. When all of this is said and done, one of you is losing, and from every angle, it seems like quite the death knell for whatever you've got going on now.
It's a pity because you actually kind of like this arrangement. If Seungcheol was in your banged-up flea market chair next Saturday morning, you wouldn't be mad. Maybe you would even make him waffles. From scratch, even.
"What, too many dates to cover?"
He laughs again, somehow to no one in particular. "Something like that."
Past the bruising swell of his smile is the much sharper, more unforgiving edge of an unspoken hurt that you're neither trusted with nor owed, and yet you refuse to drop it. What about me? It feels like you're almost there, wrapped around something bigger, a scoop you can't pull your stubborn teeth out of.
"Is there a reason none of those were serious? Come on."
"What's so wrong with that?" And when you don't say anything, he says, "Trust me, it is never that serious."
His voice ticks up at the end like a teenager trying to play cool and the noodle water boils up around your chopsticks as you try to get your portion cooked through.
You won't—can't—turn to face him. You committed to the line, and now you must see it through, no matter how bad an idea it may be.
"That's not true," you finally squeeze out, finding the right footing for your voice. "It was serious for me. I'm sorry it wasn’t for you."
The table stops rocking.
"I'm glad. Really." He claps his hands together like a cruel punctuation mark, and it's then you remember that the only person as ill-tempered as you happens to be sitting two feet away.
Like an injured animal, your heart wants to cower back into your chest. You knew this was a mistake—this being everything—but an open wound can't help but bleed and your pride can't do without seeing the knife.
"Look, I don't know what your problem is." The pot hisses, astringent and pleading, beneath your fist. "I don't know what happened with your love life, but don't take it out on me."
"You asked."
"Yeah? Well, what is this?" You turn to face him, feeling the air between you tense, pulled like a rubber band. "You can't sit in my kitchen and tell me you don't care about whatever this is."
After all of the terse meetings, elevator spats, and foul-mouthed encounters in the parking lot, you can now recognize the fresh twist of Seungcheol's mouth and the livewire of a temper you've become so familiar with.
"Who said I didn't care? I'm just tired of you trying to lecture me about my life. I—"
"I'm not lecturing you, I just know you can't really believe what you're saying." Every word stumbles out, trembling and doe-legged, barely audible over his attempts to interrupt you. "There's nothing wrong with admitting you were in love with someone. And if you can't, I just feel really fucking sorry for you."
There’s an incredulous look in Seungcheol's eyes. But it's the worse part of you, ruthless and hungry for acceptance, that makes you say, "Maybe the fact that nothing lasts is your fault."
"Oh, really?" Seungcheol's voice, half-laugh with none of the warmth, rips through you. "You're really gonna act like you're better than me? As if you don't write in your pretentious little column every week, just waiting for your ex to read it and decide he wants you back again?"
There’s a red hot flash behind your eyes and everything inside you feels like it breaks at once.
"You know, at least I had someone who cared about me. Can't say the same about your miserable, sorry ass. Now get the fuck out of my apartment."
"Wh—"
he stands up, table croaking underneath his fists, and you realize you've crossed a bridge that can never be uncrossed.
"Get. Out."
It feels like a stitch in you has come undone. The water has long boiled over the pot and there's no joy to be found in watching Seungcheol stumble over his pant legs on the way to the door.
"I didn't want Mingyu. I wanted you."
it's not an apology, nor is it an indictment. You don't know why you say it, and you guess Seungcheol doesn't either. The door slams behind him, and all you're left with is a bloated pot of ramyun you never really wanted anyway.
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Celery. Red wine. Short rib.
If you had one day left on earth, you think you would go grocery shopping. It was like a prayer to you—you could close your eyes and know exactly what aisle had the beef broth, or feel the stone weight of a can of San Marzano tomato paste.
That's one thing you can thank Mingyu for—it's true that you don't love him like you used to, but you refuse to believe that any love worth having is also worth leaving behind.
Fingerling potatoes, the red ones. A Vidalia onion.
You recite your shopping list, slowly, quietly, a rosary.
Baguette is the next item, with a question mark next to it because sometimes your local bakery sells out after 3.
You pass by, expecting to see the shop window cleared out. Instead you see a familiar crown of cowlicked black hair and a horribly well-worn grin that only looks good because it's on Choi Seungcheol's face.
He's paying for a pretty girl's sourdough, and thyme, rosemary gets washed out by a dizzying riptide of heartache.
It was never personal, you tell yourself. Just another date. That's the angle.
You think it hurts a little less, knowing that it all was a business transaction. A long interview.
The thyme is next to the dill. The rosemary is next to the chives, at the end of the shelf.
You watch Seungcheol lean over the tiny cafe table to take a sip of his date's Americano. Did he always laugh like that? Were you really any different?
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Monday feels tilted.
There's the usual gust of cinnamon sugar and cold brew—today's offering from the interns, who have begun to master the art of pressing the elevator buttons with full hands. Wonwoo is wearing his Monday outfit, a wrinkled cream button up under a navy blue sweater vest. Your cubicle is empty, just the way you like it, save for the ass-shaped spot cleared off on the desk edge.
You like days like this, except today you don't and you know exactly why.
"Today's the day," Joshua says, nose buried in a bakery-style muffin, the top pillowing out of the wrapper.
He stares over your shoulder at your article, locked and loaded for submission to copy.
You are not exaggerating when you say you would die for these four thousand words. You ate and cried and argued for them in what you can only describe as the worst literary coliseum of your life, and now their (and your) fate rests in Joshua’s massive Mickey Mouse hands and Wonwoo's bespectacled whimsy.
"Well, don't let me stop you." He laughs and then totters away, sucking a crumb off a finger. Just another Monday.
Your cursor hovers over the SUBMIT button. You've always been a little scared of it—unsurprising, since you're also the type to triple read an email before sending it—but there's a new kind of fear boxed in those little pixels.
Last night, you emptied out your freezer. Stuck on the back wall was a neon green sticky note, behind all the bags. See you when you get home, it said. You laughed and then you cried and then you ripped it up because that's probably what Seungcheol was looking at the morning you chewed him out.
All of that heartache must have been good for something. To say you wasted it on a no-love situationship wouldn't do any of it justice, not when all that's left is most definitely a crude shoutout on Seungcheol's next listicle. If you weren't already getting one earlier, you sure are now.
You wonder what you'll be:
10 Signs She Is Clinically Insane.
It's Not You, It's Them!
Help! My Friend With Benefits Isn't A Friend Or A Benefit!
At least that one is funny, although if it's the winning line, you don't think you can ever show your face in the office again.
The beginning and the end and the muddy in-between. Entrenched in all of it was this article and this job, and you'll be damned if you let your misplaced faith get co-opted by a sweaty-palmed Casanova.
(8:19 AM; the smell of summer and dried-down cologne. A hand on your ribcage, just beneath your heart. Good morning, Seungcheol says, as if emerging from a long, wonderful dream.)
You picture the byline with editor tacked next to your name. To run your finger over the ink spackled serif of a paper hot off the press, as if somehow it would radiate the misery you had to endure.
(11:41 PM; jajangmyeon and a pack of rice crackers. Seungcheol had given you his chopsticks because you dropped yours. The hum of the broken light outside Wonwoo's office sings in the silence of an empty newsroom. Your eyes meet, and you don't look away.)
There's a sinking feeling in your chest. You close your eyes and hit submit.
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Ask Samuel!
It's 6 PM on a Thursday and if you weren't already on your last thread, you are now. The angry red of the Daily Trojan website glares back at you from your phone as you step into the elevator with none other than your editor-in-chief.
You've resorted to reading Seungcheol's old advice columns. Not because you miss him, but because you want to know if he was ever a competent writer capable of talking about something other than how to score on a second date.
That's the only way he's beating you.
(There's also no way you miss him. The thought would make you laugh out loud if you weren't standing next to your boss).
One column became four became ten. After thirteen you concluded Seungcheol must have sustained a head injury some time before starting his job here—you can find no other explanation for how someone so generous and intuitive could've gotten lost in the chaff of articles with more pictures than words.
"Congrats," Wonwoo says, seemingly speaking into the void.
"Pardon?" You close out a particularly riveting query about estranged childhood friends to look up at him.
"Congrats."
"F-for what?" You get that head rush again, the same one you got a month ago at the Italian restaurant with Jeonghan.
"The job. You got the position." Wonwoo clears his throat calmly, as if he's not delivering the most important news of your life. "I wanted to let you know in person before we sent out Monday’s email."
For once, you have no words. In a wonderful instant, they are all zapped out of your brain. You feel hot and clammy and anxious all at once and you half expect to close your eyes and see either god or the flare of a hospital light, waking you up from an impossible coma.
"Holy shit," the primordial ooze inside you says instead. "T-thank you."
"No need."
"What about Seungcheol? Does he know?"
"I haven't told him yet, but he should be aware." Wonwoo pauses. "He didn't submit anything."
"What?!"
There are only so many surprises your body can handle. You feel like you are being held together by a fast-unraveling string on a poorly made sweater. Your stomach is somewhere in your feet and you don't even know where your heart is. Part of you is waiting for the elevator to stop so the entire office can jump out of the walls and laugh at you.
"I too was surprised," Wonwoo says, now checking his smartwatch for messages. "He must have changed his mind. No matter—I'm confident you will be an excellent fit."
The elevator jerks to a stop at the first floor. You feel boneless, like a can of cranberry sauce.
"Forgive me, I have a dinner appointment." Wonwoo ends the conversation the best way he can—with his trademark parentheses smile and a nod of the head—and leaves you in the elevator cabin alone.
All the times you've dreamed of this moment, you're tear-dizzy, joyous, fumbling with your phone to call your parents.
Instead you stand motionless, waiting, emptied.
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To make croissants, you fold a slab of butter into a square of yeasted dough. You roll it out thin and then fold it into itself before leaving it to rest in the fridge. Then you take it out again, roll it, and fold it. You do this until you've forgotten how many times you folded it and you no longer crave croissants.
When you were five, you pressed your nose to the window of your favorite patisserie and decided this is how your mind works.
You've had ample time now to flatten out Saturday morning, to watch all the little layers of doubt and loathing form, and now you're sick of it. It's not often you're star witness to your own unhappiness, but, as if you were called to the stand, you can easily play back the moment you lit the match and then watched everything explode.
You're not sure what either of you were expecting. A playboy and you, who loves so insistently, almost as if out of spite—there is truly no reality in which it makes sense. The fact that you fought over a literal pot of ramyun only proves this.
And now he's saddled you with the final blow. The position of your dreams with none of the glory because he gave up.
He gave up.
None of this should matter to you.
You're standing outside the office, waiting for your ride to your celebratory dinner (this time, on Jeonghan). The little headline man in your brain is silent for once. Instead, you try to enjoy the breeze, honeyed with late June, and not dwell on the horrible twist in your stomach every time you think about your new position. It's been 24 hours since you found out but it is no less raw.
It's then that you catch Seungcheol, creeping out the double doors of the office like some sort of criminal. You're not sure if it's the plod of his Sasquatch feet or that bag you hate so dearly, but you could recognize that walk from anywhere.
His pace quickens when you turn to face him—he's running away. You won't grant him the satisfaction. Not when he's fucked up what little you had left, and then some.
"You're an idiot, Seungcheol."
That does the trick.
"Funny way of saying hi," he responds, bracing himself on the sidewalk as if you're about to hit him.
"Why didn't you submit anything? What the fuck were you thinking?"
"What does it matter to you? You got the position."
"Look, I—" You shut your eyes, feeling the frenetic ice-cream churn of your brain try to put together a million broken up words. "I'm sorry for Saturday. But I never wanted to scare you off from the job. You deserve it as much as I do, and, as much as I hate to say it, I care about you too fucking much to watch you throw away your shot."
Saying the words is like cutting something loose from your chest, a million strings coming undone.
Seungcheol takes a deep, unsteady breath. You watch the crest and fall of his shoulders and the inescapable tar pits he calls eyes get big and shiny.
"No, I—" He pulls himself from your gaze. "I'm sorry. I should have never said that to you. And I should have never treated you like that."
The silence between you ripples, as if after a long rain.
"I was scared. A long time ago, I threw myself into a relationship. I thought we had something really, really good, and then I found out she was also seeing someone else."
Being right never felt so bad. It's even worse that something you would look forward to—the I told you so, the jokes really write themselves—no longer holds any satisfaction, only a sense of loss and a terrible urge to make it right again.
"And it's not right, but I decided that it was a mistake to take chances like that again. And it was fine, fun even, going on all of these casual dates and getting paid for it. Then you just had to mess it up."
"H-how?"
"You were so dead-set on convincing me otherwise. You wouldn't let it go, not with your weird sayings and the way you talked about your ex and when you told me you were making me breakfast. I started believing you, and it really fucking scared me."
There's a sharp pain in your head. It feels like, at once, you were skinned like a fruit. Like the interlude between dream and waking, all the sheets of sleep yanked from your person.
"What…what about the article?" you ask, scrambling. You don't really want to contend with what he just told you. You don't think you can.
"You deserved it more. And you really love what you do. I used to think it was all bullshit, but I was wrong."
You take a hard swallow. The image of Seungcheol, head bowed, a nervous hand on the back of his neck, swims in front of your eyes.
"Whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore," he laughs, mirthless.
"No, wait," you say. "I-I also…never took you seriously, not even when I should've. You know, I read your advice columns. Crazy, I know."
"I do have to say that is one of your more insane claims."
"No, I thought, they were actually, you know…really good." You watch him blink, mouth already twisting up as he fights a smile. "What I'm trying to say is that I think we messed up. In a lot of ways. But I want to be friends again. Or at least not enemies."
Seungcheol takes a long pause before he sticks his hand out.
"Choi Seungcheol. Writer. It's nice to meet you."
Some force, as if you had always been connected, pulls your skin to his. You shake his hand for the very first time, and starting over never felt so good.
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"You're booking Eleven Madison for the office dinner again, right?"
Wonwoo pops his head into your office, his Monday uniform now festive with a holiday tie. Today, it's snowmen with glasses.
"Naturally," you reply. "Unless you have plans on that Friday."
You're referring to last week, when Wonwoo took a call in the middle of a staff meeting and revealed that yes, he would most definitely be available for drinks with Yerim that evening. He ended the meeting thirty short seconds later, and you think you saw him skip to the elevator.
He laughs, deep and caramel. "Not this time. Also—don't forget to review those job applications. Sent them to your email."
Before you can tease him again, he leaves, and you are forced to look at your teeming inbox, the only unfortunate side effect of your new position. But you've never been happier, and a hundred new unread emails never seemed so wonderful. The first time Jeonghan saw you in your new office, you were so giddy he thought you were coming down with something.
You take a hefty sip of today's coffee (ginger, molasses, cinnamon). On the side of the cup, the one you keep facing away from the door, reads SEUNGCHEOL and OAT, in loopy marker letters.
After you shook hands in the parking lot, you agreed to take it slow. You thought bringing everything to a simmer would cure you of your affection, but it wasn't even a month before Seungcheol was back in that same seat in your kitchen, eating the blueberry waffles you promised him.
But if slow meant long phone calls and the nervous twine of your hands after an ice cream date, then you think you like slow. You could do slow for a while.
He's taken to bringing you coffee in the morning. He claims it's your editorial right, but you think he just likes having an excuse to barge into your office. (And close the door behind him. And kiss you. But that's aside the point.)
Plus, Seungcheol's had plenty of legitimate reasons to be in your office. The newest one is the launch of Ask Sunny! , which you think is the best idea he's had since deciding to get you coffee every day. He spent the last few days campaigning to reuse his old alias, but you're pretty sure he was just looking for reasons to argue with you.
"Afternoon, boss."
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. You always seem to learn the hard way with Seungcheol.
He swaggers in, ear-to-ear smile on his face, before taking a seat at the designated corner of your table.
"I think I like this desk better," he says, folding at the waist so he can lean close to you. Instead of reminding him it's the same desk, you just choose to make space for him, you let him press his nose to yours.
"Friendly reminder we're at work."
"Everyone's at lunch, genius."
He interrupts you with just a touch of his lips, which should be considered no less than a war crime by now.
"You are the worst."
"Not what you said last night. Not even close." He places another wet kiss on your nose before sliding off the table edge to his feet. There's a horrible warmth in his eyes as he watches you very clearly remember what exactly he's referring to. (A wandering hand. A cherry. Dark hair, wound through your fingers). "Anyway, I've got serious problems to solve. Or should I say Sunny? I still think we should have gone with Samuel."
"Executive decision," you tease. "Now if you don't need anything, scram. Out of my office."
"Just wanted to remind you I made reservations for us at Avra today," Seungcheol says, lingering in the doorframe with the shit-eating grin he tends to sport nowadays. "I'll even let you order."
There's no fighting the familiar bloom of laughter in your chest. It boils up, sparkling and citrusy, as you roll your eyes and watch Seungcheol return to his desk no less starry-eyed than how he walked in.
If cooking is a language, then love is the words, and you finally think you're learning to speak them.
You open the email at the top of your inbox: Seungcheol's last draft of the article he never published. You urged him to let you consider it for the next issue, and he finally caved (although you're learning that he really doesn't take much convincing when it comes to you).
Eat, Play, Love: A Guide.
Maybe you'd put it through. Maybe.
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3K notes · View notes
dreamwritesimagines · 2 months
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The Eye of the Hurricane [11] - Arrogance
A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: Engagement period is supposed to be romantic.
Word Count: 3300
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, drinking. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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For the next couple of days, you barely had any time for yourself. It wasn’t as if you were naive enough to believe planning a wedding would be relaxing, but this?
This was something else.
“Can I just let you handle the whole thing?” you asked your wedding planner on the phone, leaning back on your seat while you kept your eyes on the people in the café and she let out a laugh.
“I mean don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your trust in me,” she said. “But you still need to choose among the things I send you, otherwise it’ll be like it's my wedding.”
“I don’t know, you strike me as a person who has good taste,” you said. “I might not be completely opposed to that idea.”
“Thanks but I already planned and had my wedding.”
“Right!” you said, snapping your fingers. “You said you were married to a professor, right?”
“Mm hm.”
“Was there like an open floor for discussions on your wedding?”
“Nah, more like an open bar,” she said. “And don’t try to distract me, my assistant sent you like one hundred emails.”
“I know, I know…” you muttered. “At least I decided on the place.”
“Yeah one down, ninety-nine to go,” she said. “Barnes weekend residence. We’re going there tomorrow right?”
“Yeah at 2 o’clock, it’s already on my calendar.”
“Great,” she said. “Answer my emails by then, please?”
“I will, talk to you later!” you said as you saw Ethan walk into the café and you waved at him after hanging up.
“Hey!” he said, coming to hug you when you stood up from your seat. “It’s been a while!”
“Hey yourself,” you said and pulled back from the hug to smile at him, then sat down when he did. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy.”
“So I figured,” he said after ordering a coffee to the waiter who approached your table to take his order and you sat up straighter.
“How about you?” you said. “How is everything at the company?”
“Also pretty chaotic,” he said with a small smile. “I’ve been working overtime, a lot.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah!” he said. “Yeah it’s just…it’s a really big company that wants things done in a certain way.”
“Do you want me to send someone around so that they can talk to your boss?”
His eyes widened.
“I—you—” he stammered. “I’m— I’m honored but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” you asked, tilting your head. “If they’re giving you a hard time, it’s only fair if they have a hard time as well.”
He stared at you as the waiter put the cup of coffee in front of him, and then he cleared his throat.
“I’ll never get used to your lifestyle I think.”
“That’s a good thing,” you said with a small smile. “Please don’t.”
“So how about you?” he asked. “What have you been up to?”
You blinked a couple of times, nervousness churning your stomach before you took a sip of your coffee.
“That’s actually why I asked you here,” you muttered. “And I—I know it’s going to sound a bit rushed, but um…”  
He pulled his brows together, his whole attention on you.
“What is it?” he asked and you swallowed thickly, then tried to smile.
“I’m getting married.”
He gawked at you for a couple of seconds in complete silence as if he wasn’t sure if he had heard you right while you just sat there, nibbling on your lip.
“You…you what?” he asked when he could pull himself together and you shrugged your shoulders.
“Getting married,” you said. “In a month, actually.”
“I wasn’t aware you were in a relationship—”
“I wasn’t,” you cut him off and a look of realization dawned on his face, making him pull back slightly.
“This is what we talked about all those years ago, isn’t it?” he asked. “Back at college. I asked you numerous times and you said no but in your world—”
“Don’t,” you interrupted him again. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You can say no,” he insisted and you sipped your coffee, reminding yourself to not let anything show on your face.
“What makes you think I want to say no?”
“You want to get married?” he asked with a dry laugh. “And to whom, if you don’t mind me ask?”
“Bucky Barnes.”
Ethan blinked a couple of times.
“…Bucky Barnes as in the guy you hate?”
“Things change,” you said calmly and he scoffed.
“Do they?” he asked. “So it’s a love marriage? Nothing to do with your family business?”
“To repeat, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Your world—”
“Ethan, I don’t mean to be rude,” you said through your teeth. “But if you genuinely believe that you know anything about my world, you’re fooling yourself.”
He pressed his lips together, then took a deep breath and pushed his chair back, your bodyguards sitting up straighter as if on cue but you held up a hand, gesturing at them to sit still. Ethan looked between you and the bodyguards, then let out a somber chuckle and put some cash on the table.
“For the coffee,” he said and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Ethan…”
“If they’re forcing you to do this—”
“Nobody is forcing me,” you told him, looking him in the eye and he nodded his head slowly.
“Then I guess congratulations on the wedding,” he said with a sad smile. “I’m not going to pretend I know anything about your world Y/N, I’m just…I’m just wondering what happened to the girl who told me she’d only marry for love, that’s all.”
With that, he walked out of the café and you gritted your teeth, then pressed your palms on your eyes, slouching in your chair.
“I killed her I guess,” you muttered to yourself and lowered your hands. “Occupational hazard and all.”
                                                 *
As you knocked on the door to Becca’s apartment, you could swear your head was about to explode from the headache pounding in your temples. You heaved a sigh and rubbed at your eyes, then heard the footsteps before the door opened.
“Oh hi Y/N!” Leila said. “It's great to see you, I didn’t know you were coming!”
“Sorry to bother you,” you said, offering her a smile. “Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all, come in!”
“Is Becca here?”
“Yeah!” she said as she stepped aside so that you could go in. “We were just watching—um, are you okay?”
“Not exactly,” you grumbled and made your way to the living room to see Becca sitting on the couch with the remote in her hand.
“Hey, I didn’t know—” she started but stopped talking when you flung yourself on the other couch across from hers, letting out a groan. You could hear Leila entering the living room as well and you raised your head from the pillow with a sigh.
“Do either of you have a painkiller?”
“Oh yeah, let me get it for you,” Leila said and rushed to the kitchen while you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, then hugged a pillow over your stomach.
“What’s going on?” Becca asked and you huffed out.
“Terrible day. Do you want to go out for drinks?”
“I’d love to but I have plans,” she said apologetically. “I’ll go out in like an hour.”
“What plans?”
“Uh…therapy,” she answered as Leila came back to the living room holding a glass of water and a pill.
“Thank you so much,” you said as you took them from her and she smiled at you, then went to sit beside Becca after you swallowed the pill and put the glass on the small coffee table.
“So?” Becca said. “What happened? Is it Bucky?”
“For once, nope.”
“Congratulations on the engagement by the way!” Leila said. “To be honest, I could kind of tell something was there even when you two kept arguing that night.”
You raised your brows and stole a look at Becca who shrugged her shoulders subtly. It wasn’t that you thought she would say anything to anyone about the real reason why you and Bucky were getting married, but she had fallen so head over heels in love with Leila that it took you by surprise that she hadn’t told her either.
But on a second thought, you knew you shouldn’t have been surprised. Not only would you trust Becca with your life, but Becca was also raised with the same rules as you and Bucky were, and secrets were almost sacred in your world.
“Thanks,” you said with a small smile. “It’s a bit rushed but when you know you know.”
“That’s so true,” Leila said, holding Becca’s hand and a cute blush spread over Becca’s cheeks, making you smile despite the headache.
“So it’s not Bucky then?” Becca asked and you massaged your temples.
“Ethan.”
“Oh I liked Ethan—” Leila started, but stopped when she saw the look on your face. “Or you know, I could also hate him if we hate him now, I don’t mind.”
“No no,” you said. “He’s sweet but um…I told him the news about the wedding and he understandably did not like it.”
“You two weren’t together though?”
“Eh, there was still something,” Becca said. “He likes you, a lot.”
“He thinks I’m being forced into this,” you said and Becca shot you a smile.
“As if anyone could force you into marrying my brother.”
“I mean it’s not the nineteenth century,” Leila pointed out and Becca let out a laugh.
“So, how heartbroken was he?”
“I wouldn’t say he was heartbroken,” you muttered. “Just angry I guess. And I get it, I haven’t been completely honest with him—” You were cut off when your phone started vibrating and you took a look at the screen, then pushed yourself off the couch.
“I’ll be right back,” you said and walked to Becca’s bedroom, then took the phone to your ear.
“Yeah?”
“Hey beautiful,” Bucky’s voice reached you and you sat down on Becca’s bed, fully aware that you were pouting your lips.
“Hey.”
“How’s your day going?”
“Meh,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “What is it?”
“I just called to let you know we have a dinner reservation tonight,” he said. “I’ll pick you up from the hotel around 8?”
You made a face. “Why?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t like your presence any more than you like mine,” you stated. “And it’ll be harder for me to ignore you in a restaurant if it’s just the two of us having dinner.”
“I mean, you do realize you don’t have to ignore me—”
“I know I don’t have to, it’s more of a hobby,” you said. “So? Why are you taking me out to dinner?”
“Because if we want people to believe it’s a love marriage rather than what it actually is, we need to be seen outside as a couple,” he said and you heaved a sigh, then ran a hand over your face.
“Right.”
“So then—”
“Yeah you can pick me up at 8,” you said and he paused for a second.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You sound a bit…”
“Yeah I’m fine,” you said in a rush. “It’s just you know, this whole marriage thing—I’m fine. I’m great.”
“Very convincing,” he deadpanned and you scoffed a laugh.
“Just pick a nice restaurant, will you?” you asked and hung up before he could retort, then huffed out and got up from the bed to walk back to the living room to see Leila walking to the kitchen.
“So Becca has stuff to do but I figured we could drink and watch trash TV if you’d like?” she asked as soon as she saw you. “I can make mimosas.”
You blinked a couple of times and nodded fervently.
“That’d be great!” you said and she gave you a happy smile, then entered the kitchen. You smiled to yourself, then flung yourself next to Becca.
“I’ve changed my mind,” you said and Becca tilted her head.
“About what?”
“About what I said earlier,” you said. “You totally should propose and marry her, she’s amazing.”
                                           *
Even you had to admit, the restaurants in Bucky’s territory were better than the ones in your father’s territory.
It was rather annoying but considering your house with him would of course be in his territory, at least you already knew you would get good food whenever you two went out for dinner. Bucky’s palm was warm on the small of your back and if it were any other time you would have slipped out of his grasp but you let him guide you to the restaurant.
“Mr. Barnes, it’s an honor,” A man greeted you two by the entrance. “Your table is ready, please follow me.”
 You looked around the luxurious interior as you and Bucky made your way to your table, and a waiter pulled your chair for you to sit down. You took a quick look at the menu before ordering and Bucky just asked for his usual, and you watched the waiter walk away with the man.
“I don’t think I’ve been here before,” you told Bucky. “When did it open?”
“Around a year ago,” he said. “I like it here, it’s…private, mostly.”
You hummed while the waiter filled your glass with wine and you took a sip, enjoying the nice taste.
“So my dad called while I was getting ready,” you said. “Apparently he will talk to Stark sometime this week.”
“I have a pretty good guess about how that will go,” Bucky muttered and you bit inside your cheek.
“You think Stark will make things difficult?”
“I mean he’s not going to like it because two families uniting means a tremendous power in the city,” Bucky stated. “Let’s see how he reacts and plan accordingly.”
“Might have to sweettalk him,” you said. “Gift him a shipment or two. And Romanoff?”
“I’m meeting her tomorrow,” he said. “Steve will be there too, they’re old friends. Any stupid comments from Ian lately?”
“Nope. By the way I was going to ask you but I forgot—that night, when you and Ian were talking,” you said. “What did he tell you?”
Bucky scoffed before taking a sip of his wine.
“He was saying that you wanted to be an active player in the business,” he said with a small smile. “Just in case I didn’t know.”
You rolled your eyes. “Idiot.”
“But I don’t think he suspects anything.”
“No, he thinks the same as my dad,” you said with a dry laugh. “I get married and pop out a few babies and become a fucking Stepford Wife.”
Bucky shot you a grin, then his head shot up.
“Oh I almost forgot,” he said and took out a small velvet box out of his pocket, then put it on the table. You arched a brow.
“Is that the ring?”
“Yeah.”
“Nah you can take it back,” you said after sipping your wine. “I’ll go and check some jewelers tomorrow and get something pretty, they can send you the bill.”
He pulled his brows together. “You didn’t even look at it.”
“I don’t need to, I’ve seen the women you dated,” you pointed out. “Something tells me they didn’t educate you well about jewelry so there’s no need for—”
You stopped talking when he reached out to open the small box for you and your eyes fell upon the ring, the rest of your sentence getting stuck in your throat. The pear-shaped diamond on the delicate rose gold band was so pretty that for a couple of seconds you could only stare at it while it glimmered under the dim light of the restaurant, almost hypnotizing you before you remembered to pull yourself together.
It was definitely to your taste, as if…
“Becca helped you,” you managed to say as you reached out to take it into your hand and he nodded.
“Mm hm. Today.”
“Well played.”
Bucky gave you a proud smile, his piercing blue gaze almost too hot on your skin and you slipped the ring onto your finger, then held up your hand so that you could look at it better.
“It’s pretty,” you said. “I’m keeping it in the divorce by the way.”
He clutched as his chest. “Don’t be so romantic Charm, I’m going to get emotional.”
That made a laugh spill from your lips while the waiter brought your food, and you thanked him while Bucky leaned forward on his elbows as if he wasn’t even aware of anything else but you.
“Can I ask you something?”
“No.”
“How did you use to imagine it?”
You looked at him. “Imagine what?”
“Your engagement period, your wedding, you name it,” he said and you hummed, then leaned back.
“Why do you want to know?”
“Maybe we can make the wedding the way you pictured it,” he said and you scoffed a laugh.
“I doubt it,” you said. “When I pictured my wedding, I always pictured myself in love. There was this fairytale wedding, gorgeous wedding gown, we’d go to Paris for the honeymoon and he’d be reciting poetry about how much he was in love with me in bed.”
Bucky blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat.
“I’m not good with poetry.”
“Never thought you were,” you said. “Eh, maybe my second marriage will go the way I pictured it.”
That caused a shadow to cross his eyes but he recovered fast, sipping his drink.
“How about you?” you asked. “How did you use to imagine your second marriage?”
He tilted his head. “What happened to my first marriage?”
“I’m glad you asked,” you said, pointing at him with your fork. “Funny story. You knocked her up and you guys decided to keep it because you got emotional and it would be your first heir, so you two ended up getting married in a rush and named that baby your actual heir.”
An amused smile curled his lips. “Interesting. Go on.”
“But after the baby, that marriage turned into one full of resentment and then you decided it was a good idea to fuck your secretary.”
“So I live in a porn scenario?” he asked and you nodded.
“Pretty much. Then your wife left you, took away all your things—”
“I don’t have a prenup?”
You shook your head. “Nope.”
“Impossible.”
“You don’t exactly have a prenup with me.”
He winked at you. “Maybe I trust you.”
“That’s a terrible idea,” you retorted, making him chuckle. “But yeah, your first wife divorced you. Sorry you had to find out this way.”
“It was good while it lasted, I’m sure.”
“Wouldn’t be so sure, she hates you,” you said airily. “Rightfully, that is. Then you meet your second wife who definitely deserves better than you, but by some miracle she stays with you.”
“Thanks a lot, she sounds amazing.”
“Right?” you said. “There you go. Your two marriages.”
“Very creative,” he pointed out. “Do I recite poetry to her in this scenario?”
“Yes but you also have performance problems so romance makes up for it, in a way,” you stated and he smirked.
“You seem to put a lot of thought into my performance, pillow princess.”
Your jaw dropped as you gasped. “Wh—how dare—you don’t even—”
“Please,” he said. “You dream of a guy reciting poetry to you on your honeymoon.”
You could feel your cheeks burning as you glared daggers at him.
“Shut up,” you grumbled, making him smirk.
“That being said, you have nothing to worry about my performance.”
You rolled your eyes at him while you chewed on your bite, then swallowed it.
“See Bucky, this is exactly why when I divorce you, I’m keeping the ring and the weekend house,” you pointed at him with your fork, coaxing a chuckle out of him. “You’re too arrogant for your own good.”
Chapter 12
338 notes · View notes
kairiscorner · 10 months
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ok but like it's canon in the comics that miguel's not as good at tech compared to biology. so imagine...
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
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lyla was apparently resetting herself and would be unresponsive for a few hours, but it seemed he had no choice. coming from the future, he has little clue about how technology in the 20th century was supposed to work, but luckily, you were a natural at using 20th century technology! unluckily, miguel was too prideful to ask you for any help. the rest of the society had decided to resort to cell phones to contact each other for the time being, though it wasn't as great as the watches, it was at least useful for something. however, only one person remained to be clueless about these cell phones, and ironically, it's the guy from the future, miguel o'hara himself.
he had asked jess and peter b how to use a phone, but they, unsurprisingly, only know how to use it when someone calls--they don't even know how to facetime properly. he asked ben to help him since he classified as 'part of the youth', but his explanation was full of onomatopoeias and edgy narrating that miguel was totally lost. you approached miguel as he was practically snarling at his phone's screen, not being used to calling an AI assistant who wasn't lyla to fetch him information on the anomalies you all were monitoring, but the only search results siri gave him were the definition of anomaly and earth-1218 search results from fan pages.
"hey mig." you greeted him as miguel sighed and tried to compose himself. "how are you holding up?" you asked him, knowing full well he was losing his mind over the countless notifications he was getting from his chats from peter b that were all just pictures of mayday and his keyboard mashing over how cute his daughter was. "i'm barely holding on, to be honest." he said as he forcefully scrolled on the screen, which ended up in it being scuffed and scratched on by his talons.
"puta." he muttered as he looked at the now scratched screen. you took the phone from his hands and asked him what he was going to do, with him explaining he just wanted to dismiss the incessant notifications from peter b. you set his phone on a 'do not disturb' mode and shut off his notifications from peter b in an instant. "that's all you have to do, really." you explained as you handed the phone back to him, with his eyes following yours as you smiled up at him. "ah, thank you." he said as he took his reading glasses and tried to read a text that came his way. "congratulations, you have won a 100,000 dollars. email this contact to claim your reward... but i didn't do anything?" he remarked aloud, confused. "oh, that's spam. just ignore it, delete i--" he was calling the fucking number.
"hello? yeah, i didn't play any game. you texted me about a prize i didn't win, i think you have the wrong number. ...what do you mean i have to email you? just forward the message to the right individual. ...no, i'm not gonna email you, we're talking right now! look, i don't even want your prize, i make more than six figures a month. ...what do you mean you need my credit card information? hijo de puta, i'm not the guy you're looking for!" miguel screamed into the phone as he spoke to the scammer. you wanted to tell him to drop the call, but seeing him scare the scammer had made you want to watch this unfold. he was screaming curse words in spanish and repeating how he doesn't need any prizes from these hacks.
"on second thought, always call the number." you murmured to him as he angrily put the phone down. "shocking idiots, is the 20th century full of guys who can't double check numbers and force you to email them when you're already talking to them over the phone?" he asked you as you nodded slowly with a slight grin. miguel shook his head as he checked the progress on lyla's update. "17 more hours of this madness." he groaned as he buried his face in his palms. "well, you can always go on... i don't know, tiktok?" "no. we're stuck on earth 1218's internet, i've been warned by peter b it's a scary place i should never visit." "i wonder why..." you muttered as you avoided his gaze and smirked.
tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold
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navybrat817 · 7 months
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Temporary Job
Pairing: Soft!Dark Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader
Summary: Your job with Ransom is only temporary. Or so you think.
Word Count: 250
Warnings: Implied DUBCON/NONCON, possessive behavior, Ransom Drysdale being an asshole (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: The Basement Spouses Writing Challenge Week 2! Character: Ransom Drysdale. Length: 250 words max. Prompt: "Go on. Tell me you hate me and see what that does to me." ❤️ @stargazingfangirl18, I may need to expand on this and have him truly manhandler her! Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Tears filled your eyes as you read the email. Another job rejection. This one hadn’t given you the chance for an interview. Just like the last one.
You stiffened and quickly tucked your phone away as Ransom walked into his home office. “Excuse me, Hugh. I mean, Mr. Drysdale.”
“Let me guess?” Ransom smirked as he shut and locked the door. “You got rejected? Again? Probably because you were too busy looking at your phone instead of cleaning my house.”
“I'm sorry?”
“Cut the bullshit. I'm not a fucking idiot,” he snapped, his usually handsome face twisted in a scowl. “You think I don’t know that you’ve been looking for other jobs?”
You caved under his sharp gaze and wondered how he found out. “It isn’t personal,” you said, refusing to tell him that you were uncomfortable in his presence. “But this was a temporary job and-”
“After the calls I made, no one will hire you,” he cut you off, eyeing you like you were a piece of meat as tears began to fall. “And you can call me Ransom from now on.”
You screamed when he bent you over the desk a minute later, even though no one was around for miles to hear. You promised you wouldn’t tell if he let you go. You may have even said you hated him when he laughed.
“Go on. Tell me you hate me and see what that does to me. But you aren’t going anywhere, pumpkin. You’re mine now.”
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Don't worry. I'm sure he'll be good to you. 😈 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Ransom Drysdale Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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jungshookz · 4 months
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teeny tidbits: namjoon wants a raise & y/n is kind of scary
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i watched the proposal again recently + i’ve been on depop trying not to spend a million dollars on all the y2k corporate-core clothes = inspired me to write this snippet of ceo!y/n (you all know i have a soft spot for anything ceo i’m sorry) 
“ever since you hired me, i’ve managed to boost sales up by approximately 28%-“ namjoon clears his throat, trying his best to continue standing tall as he points to the screen with his little laser pen, “i’ve been working here for nearly a year and a half which you can argue hasn’t been very long, but at the same time i feel as though my efforts and the results that i’ve produced is well deserving of a raise, miss y/l/n. i wasn’t going to say anything but i’ve actually been offered a position elsewhere with a higher salary, and, well- i do enjoy working here, and i would like to stay here, but-“ 
you lean back against your office chair, propping both elbows up on the arm chairs before pressing your fingertips together, staring intently at the presentation in front of you 
your eyes follow the little red dot darting across the screen and you lick over your teeth as your head tilts to the side slightly 
“-so, what do you think?” namjoon reaches the end of his presentation and tucks his pen into his shirt pocket, very much aware of how much heat is radiating off his body from the nerves 
he’s heard some things about people who’ve tried to ask for raises, and making the bold move of coming directly to you has historically never ended very well for those guys 
jungkook presses the button for the lights to turn on and the blinds to roll back up from where he’s standing by the front door, offering namjoon a smile and a supportive nod 
at least five seconds of silence linger in the air and namjoon wonders if you’re able to hear his heart practically beating out of his chest 
you’ve also been maintaining eye contact with him the entire time he’s presented which makes him ten times as nervous because he’ll be the first to admit you have very nice eyes 
“…i think all of this could’ve been an email, kim.” you lean forward, office chair squeaking slightly as you swipe your phone off the table and unlock it, “the next time you want something, i don’t need a thirty-eight minute presentation on why you think you deserve it.” 
“ma’am?” namjoon’s face reddens and suddenly it feels like the collar of his button-up is suffocating him 
“who’s trying to poach you from me?” 
“i-if you don’t mind, i’d like to keep that detail priv-“ namjoon immediately stops talking when your eyes flicker up from your phone to look at him through your eyebrows, “ah- min corporations, miss y/l/n. i was contacted by their secretary last week.” 
“mm, i’ve spoken to that secretary. preppy little thing.” you snort, eyebrow raising slightly at the memory of the one time you got a call on your personal cell phone from min corporations (you’re not even sure how that secretary got your damn number in the first place) inviting you to a lunch with mr. min yoongi himself 
you went, of course, more than surprised to discover that the secretary wasn’t just his secretary but also his wife and the mother of his (adorable) daughter 
you don’t know how she managed to go from secretary all the way to wife/mother but hat’s off to her for pulling that off
with that being said you’re sure that if she spoke three decibels higher all the dogs in the city would start barking and all the windows in your office would’ve cracked 
“you’re a hard worker. i like having you on my team.” you set your phone face down on your desk, “get back to work. we can discuss numbers another day because if you make me look at another excel spreadsheet i might change my mind.” 
“oh, i- thank you so much, miss y/l/n, i really appreciate it! thank you so much-“ namjoon fumbles with the projector and switches it off, a weight instantly lifted off his shoulders at the implication that he will, in fact, be getting a raise 
“mm.” you gesture with a flick of your wrist for him to leave your office as you raise your phone to your ear, “min yoongi! trying to steal my star salesman, are you?” 
jungkook opens the door for namjoon, stepping aside to let him out before shutting the door behind him quietly 
“see, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” jungkook beams, giving namjoon a hearty pat on the arm, “congratulations on the raise!” 
“i think i need to take a shot or something, that was- so stressful.” namjoon lets out a breath, reaching up to loosen his tie slightly, “god, she really- her eye contact is crazy intense sometimes-“ 
“it’s probably the eyeliner in her waterline making her look ten times scarier, you’ll survive-“ 
🎙️ ask y/n for eyeliner recommendations (talk to my characters!) 
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (go say hi to your other faves!)
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits like this!) 
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mountttmase · 11 months
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Don’t Do This
Note - so this is the fic I thought I’d posted but actually never did 🙄not too sure if this is the right time to post anything but I’d really appreciate some feedback on this please 💙
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 5K
Warnings - smut and angst with a smidge of fluff
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‘Last day huh?’
‘Yes Chilly, it’s my last day. You know this’ you huffed, looking at him as he stood leaning up against your door frame. ‘Have you come to help carry some boxes?’ You asked, batting your eyelashes in attempts to charm in into helping. It must of worked though as he begrudgingly rolled his eyes, but lifted a few boxes anyway.
‘Do you think I can claim this as extra gym work?’ He laughed, following you down to your car and packing it into the boot. ‘You said goodbye to everyone yet?’
‘Most people’ you nodded, your eyes fluttering down so he couldn’t read your emotions and thankfully he changed the subject for now.
‘It’s not too late to change your mind’ he teased, gently bumping his shoulder into yours making you laugh as you began to walk back inside the building.
‘Since my replacement starts tomorrow, I think it might be’
‘But Cobham won’t be the same without you. Everyone loves you here’ he reasoned, throwing his arm around your shoulder. You looked up at him with a questioning face and he laughed lightly, clearly catching onto what you were implying. ‘Okay well most people do’
‘It’s fine, I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea’ you shrugged ‘I’m not leaving because of him you know, this is a really good opportunity for me’
‘I know I know, I just wish he wasn’t such an arsehole for no reason’ he huffed as you made it back to your office.
‘That’s all of it then, just got a few more emails to go over and I’ll head out’
‘Well I only came up to say goodbye, so get in here’ he laughed as he held his arms out for a hug. ‘Keep in touch yeah? And I mean it. I’m not just saying that cause that’s what you’re supposed to say’
‘I know Chilly, I promise I will’ you told him, voice heavy with emotion as you said goodbye to one of the first boys on the team who spoke to all those months back. Taking you under his wing and showing you around, acting as if he was your work big brother.
You tried to get on with your final few bits of work but you we’re constantly disturbed by people coming to say goodbye, so when the clock struck half six and you were finally done, you weren’t surprised to find the building empty. Eventually you packed up the last of your things, taking the long way out so you could have one last look around the place before heading to the car park.
As you were passing the gym, the door opened to reveal Mason, the only person who hadn’t spoken to you today. In fact he rarely ever did. Your eyes met, both looking shocked to see each other still here before his gaze dropped to the floor like usual.
You couldn’t take your eyes off him though. He hadn’t been around too much due to an injury so you were unsure if he even knew you were going but you couldn’t tell either way due to his usual stand offish nature.
He looked completely different from the last time you’d seen him, the floppy locks that once made home on his head had gone, a pretty harsh buzz cut in its place and you hated the way it made your tummy flip. Mason seemed to harvest a special power in his hair, the longer it got the cuter and more boy next door he looked yet right now like this, he was intimidating but in the best way possible and all you could think about was feeling the back of his head under your fingers. The thought making you blush and you quietly coughed so you could speak to him without making a fool of yourself.
‘H-hi Mason. I heard you were back. How’s the recovery going?’
‘Yeah, fine thanks’ he nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as he still stared down at the floor. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t tear your eyes off of him and his new look or the way his features seemed so much more prominent now. His cheek bones lifted and the the red patch of skin across his nose that you’d always secretly adored was even deeper than before. ‘You off then?’ He questioned quietly, and your heart thumped at the sound of his voice as he finally looked up to meet your gaze. It was unfair how good he looked, the freckles that washed over the tops of his cheeks making you want to reach out and touch him but you stood your ground so you could give him a coherent answer.
‘Yeah, just on my way out now’ you told him and he nodded his head whilst folding his arms.
‘Well, good luck with everything’ he breathed but before you had time to reply, he was walking passed you and off to get changed. You were about to call after him but figured there was no point. As much as he was a delight to everyone else, there seemed to be something about you that he couldn’t get on with. Choosing to keep his distance and only speaking to you when necessary which wasn’t very often. You wondered if you’d done something wrong to make him be like this with you but he’d always been standoffish from the start.
At first you thought it might of been nerves, but once you realised he was only like it with you, you figured you just weren’t his type of person. He was never rude, always giving you a small smile if you saw each other passing in the halls and holding doors open for you if you were around but you wished you’d of got to experience the Mason you saw around other people when he didn’t think you were watching.
You eventually made it to your car, setting the last of your things in the back seat before getting behind the wheel. You went to grab your phone to plug it into the charger but after rummaging around in your bag and realising it wasn’t there you huffed, trudging back inside as you remembered it was still plugged into the socket next to your desk.
After a quick chat in reception to explain why you were heading back in, you opened the door to find Mason sat at your desk, his elbows propped up with head in his hands but as soon as he heard the door creak, he turned to look your way, his glassy eyes staring into your soul as you both froze, not knowing what the other was doing there.
‘I thought you’d gone’ he panicked, standing up but freezing again as if he didn’t know what to do.
‘I forgot my phone’ you breathed, pointing to it sat on the side and he gulped as he looked at it. ‘Why are you in here?’ You questioned softly, carefully stepping towards him but you could see he was panicking and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. ‘Mase, talk to me’
He gulped at the use of his nickname, one you’d never called him to his face and you flushed when you realised. He dragged a hand over his face before looking at you again, his eyes now a little harder now as he looked for an escape route.
‘It doesn’t matter’ he mumbled attempting to walk passed you, but you shut the door and stood in front of it so he couldn’t get past and his brows furrowed a little at he looked at you. ‘What are you doing?’
‘You’re not leaving until you talk to me’
‘You can’t hold me prisoner here, y/n. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone’
‘As of an hour ago I’m no longer an employee, so there’s not much anyone can do’
‘Come on, just move’ he huffed, attempting to move you but you held your ground. ‘
‘No Mason, you need to tell me-‘
‘What’ he snapped, frustration pouring from him and he turned away from you to walk towards the window. ‘What do you want me to say?’
‘The truth. Why you were in here? And what I ever did to make you hate me whilst your at it’ you spat and he turned back to you full of shock and confusion as he took a few steps towards you.
‘I don’t hate you, why would you think that?’
‘Well you’ve never exactly been friendly with me’ you scoffed and he shut his eyes whist taking a deep breath at having been caught out. ‘I see how you are with everyone else and yeah you’re not a total dick with me but I know you avoid me when you can. Like this is probably the longest conversation we’ve ever had. It’s not exactly a nice felling’ you told him, a hint of hurt in your voice and you felt your eyes fill with tears. You didn’t know you were this upset by it but saying it out loud made you realise your were.
‘Don’t be so bloody stupid’ he snapped his eyes looking desperate and you were about to step out of the way but something inside you told you that you needed to know what he was doing in here. So you stood your ground even though you knew this might end badly. You knew he’d never hurt you but the crazed look in his eyes was egging you on. Thinking he was about to snap and you wanted answers. ‘What do you want me to say y/n? That I feel like a complete twat cause I couldn’t tell you how I really felt? That I can’t talk to you properly cause you make me nervous and I know if I spend time around you then I’ll fall for you? So I kept away from you cause it was against the rules? That I was sat in here cause it’s just hit me I’ve missed my chance and I wanted to feel close to you?’
You were shocked, your eyes growing wider as he laid all his cards on the table. Only realising he’d shared too much when it was too late. He stopped abruptly, his fingers interlocking behind his head as he turned away from you, muttering a a slew of curse words into the air.
‘If that’s the truth, then yeah I want you to say that’
‘Please, y/n. Don’t do this’
‘Fine’ you breathed, opening the door and stepping away. He clearly had some things he needed to work through and holding him hostage was just irritating him even more. You watched him vanish quickly out, biting your lip as your mood sunk even further. You didn’t want this to be your last memory of being here and you were annoyed at him for tainting it.
You grabbed your phone so you could get out of there as quickly as you could and not bump into him again. As soon as you we’re heading to the door, you saw him storming back in, his dark eyes set on you as he grabbed a hold of your face and crashed his lips into yours.
You became paralysed under his touch, his lips moving against yours but you were frozen for a few seconds until yours finally began moving against him. The sound of him kicking the door shut made you jump slightly as your hands traveled to his chest, feeling his heart thrum against your fingers but he walked you backwards until your legs hit the desk behind you.
He lifted you by your thighs and you squealed as you were plonked down, never once taking his lips from yours as he kissed you with all he had. You were unsure at first as to why you were kissing him back, but you knew deep down this is what you were longing from him. Yeah friends would be nice but you’d craved this sort of contact with him from the second you saw him. His new haircut wasn’t exactly helping the situation and with it seemed to of bought a new sense of dominance to him.
You moaned into mouth as he brushed his tongue against yours, the kiss still messy and desperate as your hands traveled down his body and dipped under his shirt. Your palms laid flat on his abs and felt them tense under your touch as he moaned into your mouth before pulling away.
‘Do you trust me?’ He breathed into your mouth as his hands moved to grip you at your waist before his lips trailed down your neck. Did you trust him? When you thought about it, you’re barely knew him but you were too caught up in whatever was happening right now to ruin it so you nodded. He smiled into your neck before helping down and moving you to then hidden area of your office.
That was one thing you’d miss about this office, the L shape of it meant there was a small section hidden out the way when you first walked in and you always used it to your advantage. Keeping a mini fridge and a small sofa there for cheeky afternoon naps. Currently only the latter was there and Mason looked ready to use this to his advantage.
You weren’t sure what was happening so you tugged on the hand he was holding to get him to stop and he turned to face you. His eyes were wild, his cheeks flushed as he started you down with parted lips. You were about to ask him what he was doing when he grabbed your hand before placing it on his crotch. You could feel him hard as a rock underneath your touch and you sucked in a deep breath as your heart hammered at the contact.
‘You have no fucking idea what you do to me, do you?’ He questioned, his voice low and rough, his words causing your thighs to clench together. ‘Like you said, you’re no longer an employee now, so we’re both safe’
‘Mason’ you breathed, a slight panic in your voice as it was now clear he wanted to fuck you in your office. He face softened at the sound, as he moved your hand away from his bulge and placed it over his heart instead, cupping your jaw as he looked at you intently.
‘Tell me to stop and I will’ he mumbled but you were way past that. The only thing in your mind was having whatever he was hiding in his boxers buried inside you, so you shook your head and he gave you a devilish smile. ‘Good choice’ he teased as you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning.
He slipped his hands around your waist and pulled you in front of him so he could guide you to where he wanted you, his bulge now pressing into the back of you and your tummy flipped at the feeling. Once you were at the sofa, he pushed you forward again with his hips so you were forced to kneel on it, facing the wall as you held the back for support and you felt his hands dip under your top to stroke your waist.
‘Do you have any idea how many times I’ve imagined being locked in here with you, bending you over this sofa just like now and fucking the life out of you’ he growled and the shock of his words made your knees weak but you were thankful for the fact you were already being held up by the sofa.
Mason had only been in your office a handful of times in the ten or so months you’d been working at Chelsea, but you remembered the first time like it was yesterday. He’d come with Chilly and you were giving them a little tour. You’d managed to get the sofa in that morning so you were showing it off but Mason seemed in his own little world like usual however thinking back you could now tell from the flushed face and lack of eye contact that he was imagining what he could do with you on there.
‘Or how many times I’ve thought about sitting here watching you between my legs with my dick in your mouth. You drive me insane’ he told you, pulling flush against him as he spoke into your ear. You loved how rough he was being with you, but his hands were still gentle and it was sending you nuts. The thought of tasting him made your eyes roll back in your head and you were willing so say or do anything at this moment to make that happen, so you pressed back into him further which made him whimper and drop his head into your shoulder.
‘Let’s start with that then’ you murmured and he held you tighter and seemed to shiver at your words. He didn’t say anything else, just helped you back off the before taking a seat in the middle and standing you between his thighs so he could start to undress you. ‘Wait’ you said in a panic and he stopped what he was doing instantly. His hands flying back to hold up beside his head as if in surrender.
You quickly dashed across the room to shut the blinds, and then over to the the door to lock it before returning to him, a cheeky smile dressed on your face as he’s looked up at you with wide and nervous eyes.
‘Just wanted to be safe’ you winked before grabbing the bottom of your shirt and whisking it off in one swift motion. You heard him breathe out heavily and he bit his lip to take you in, thankful you’d worn a nice bra that day. You felt his hands grab you at your waist to pull you in a bit closer to him, leaving kisses all over your ribs as you attempted to get out of your joggers and once you’d kicked them across the room he watched his eyes flicker all over you. ‘Like what you see?’
‘Always have’ he told you before getting up to take his hoodie and top off together. You looked at him in awe as he moved, the muscles flexing under his skin making you feel hot all over, his prominent collar bones and bulging arms making you want you reach out and kiss all over his body. ‘Like what you see?’ he winked, repeating your words before tugging his joggers off too and you waited till he was up looking at you again before answering.
‘Always have’
With that, his lips were on you again, and you could feel his burning skin touching yours causing you to whimper into his mouth. He pulled off you with a smile, your lip between his teeth and it snapped back into place as he let go.
‘Sit down for me’ you whispered seductively, pushing on his chest lightly so he’d collapse onto the sofa before you could straddle his thighs and bring him in for another heated kiss. The feel of his hands on your skin was driving you wild and it wasn’t long before you were pushing yourself up so you could slip between his legs.
‘Y/n, are you sure?’ You heard Mason whisper as you reached up to the waistband of his boxers in order to free him.
‘I’m sure’ you told him and you watched him gulp as he lifted his hips to help you out, his impressive length slapping against his abdomen made your mouth water and you couldn’t wait to give him what he wanted.
All thoughts of arguments or not getting on we’re out the window as you took a hold of him in your hand, the breathy moan tumbling from his lips only spurring you on as you finally wrapped your lips around him.
‘Jesus Christ, y/n’ he whimpered, his hands trying to fist the sofa cushions but he couldn’t get a grip on anything. In the end you took his hands and placed them on your head so he could lace his fingers through your hair and he waisted no time in doing just that. He didn’t try and move your head at all, just kept your hair out of the way as you slowly took him in deeper, feeling his thigh muscles flutter under your fingers. ‘Fuck you’re so good at that’
You slowly pulled off of him whilst your hand took over, pumping him lazily as you looked up at him through your lashes. He looked so beautiful, his pouty lips were slightly parted and he started down at you, the bridge of his nose and cheeks a healthy pink and it was only getting deeper the more you turned him on.
‘Please’ he whispered, his hips bucking up into your hand you you smiled at him lightly. ‘Please baby, I need to feel your mouth around me’
You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head before leaning forward to take him back in your mouth, your eyes on him the whole time and you could tell he was struggling to keep his composure as you tried you hardest to make him feel good, but he next time you were coming back up for air he was pushing you off of him so he could help you up.
‘Kneel back up here for me’ he whispered, planting your knees on on the cushions as he jumped up and settled behind you. He gripped the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down until they were halfway down your thighs before getting on his knees behind you. ‘You’re dripping’ he laughed before you heard him let out a breath, licking one long stripe against you whilst moaning and kissing over the backs of your thighs but a knock on the door made you both stop in your tracks.
Panicked, you both froze in silence. Breaths held in as you waited for a sign to move and the eventual sound of footsteps retreating made you let your breath out and look down to Mason with a panicked expression.
‘Mason-’
‘I know I know. But I’m not leaving here without fucking you. We’ll be quick yeah’ he told you, standing up and gripping your bum so he could spread you out a little further for him. ‘Just relax’ He didn’t give you a chance to protest, not that you were planning on it, pushing himself in and out of you slowly until you started to moan a bit louder and he picked his pace up.
‘God Mase, keep going’ you breathed gripping onto the back of the sofa for dear life before he pulled you up and against his body, on arm around your waist and the other dipping in between your legs so he could tease your clit and get you further along the line.
You had nothing to hold onto eventually throwing your arm back to grip the back of his head whilst you held onto his other arm as he ploughed into you as quick as he could. It wasn’t how you’d imagined your first time with Mason, not that you ever thought there would be one, but he was hot and sweaty and you were more turned on than you ever could remember being. Drops of sweat dripping down your skin as his lips placed heavy kisses on your neck.
‘Come on baby, I need you to cum for me. I promise next time I’ll go slower’ he groaned, but you didn’t need much more convincing, the promise of next time tipping you over the edge and the feel of you pulsing around him made Mason finish just seconds after, his head buried in your neck as he tried to stifle his moans but you relished them, secretly proud that you could make him feel that way. ‘Right, plan of action. We quickly get dressed, you leave the way you came and I’ll head the long way round and leave out the side door yeah? Then I’ll meet you in the car park’
‘What if they ask what took me so long?’
‘I don’t know, say you had to take a personal call or something. That’s why the door was locked’
‘You’re sneaky’ you laughed but it quickly turned into a gasp as he started pulling out of you, wiping you clean with his boxers before putting his joggers back on with nothing underneath. You got dressed as quickly as you could, adjusting your hair in the reflection in the window before you both set off. Mason giving you a quick kiss before you went your separate ways and you fretted the whole way back about lying to the reception staff to the point your face was blood red by the time you got there.
Thankfully they believed your story, giving you one final good bye before you you raced back to your car. Mason already putting his stuff in his boot a few cars down but he soon wondered over to see you.
‘Do you wanna follow me back to mine maybe? Unless you have plans or something?’
‘No I’d like that’ you smiled, nudging his shoulder gently before you both got into your cars and drove off. Thankfully Mason lived a lot closer than you did and you parked up next to his car when you arrived before he took you inside. There was big smile on his face as he walked you through to the kitchen and you felt yourself being a little awkward about everything. Just over an hour ago the boy in front of you couldn’t bare to be around you and now you were at his house after you’d had a quickie your old office. You were overwhelmed and he picked up on it pretty quickly, directing you over the the sofa and sitting down facing you so you could speak but nothing seemed to be coming out of your mouth.
‘Is everything okay?’ He asked tentatively
‘Yeah sorry just a bit overwhelmed’ you laughed. ‘We seem to of gone from 1 to 100 pretty quickly’
‘Yeah I guess I’ve got some explaining to do’ he chuckled, brushing his hand over the top of his head and you had to restrain yourself so you didn’t reach out and touch it too.
‘Did I ever do anything to-‘
‘No no’ he interrupted, tentatively reaching for your hand and you let him link your fingers together.
‘What happened then?’
‘I didn’t mean it’ he whispered, cautiously getting closer to you until he was sat right next to you. You heart was hammering and you willed your tears to stay in your eyes. His other hand touched your arm as if to comfort you as he let out a soft sigh, your eyes searching his sad ones to figure out what you should say to each other. ‘Sorry, y/n. It was never intentional. I’d hate for you to think I didn’t like you cause I do’ he told you softly, almost as if he was admitting it to himself as well as you and in return you offered him a small smile. ‘I think it’s just I didn’t want you to like me’
‘Why not?’
‘Cause I knew if you did then I wouldn’t be able to keep away from you and I didn’t want to jeopardise anything for you. I know you love your job and you’re so good at it so I didn’t want to be the reason you didn’t have it. Seems like that’s happening anyway though’ he sighed in disappointment as he rubbed circles in your hand. ‘I feel like I drove you away’
‘You’re not why i left, Mase’ you told him, cupping his jaw to hopefully get him to look at you and you felt your heart hammer when he finally did. His dark brown orbs staring straight through to your soul and you both gave each other a small smile. ‘I’m only up the road. And it’s not like it’s another football team. I’m still a Chelsea girl’
‘I guess I could learn to like cricket’ he huffed, pulling you into his lap where you both just sat in each others arms for a little while. Finally gaining the courage to reach up and brush your hand over the back of his head, feeling just the way you imagined it would and you smiled as you heard him hum into your neck. You chuckled when you saw the dimple pop in his cheek, thinking this was probably the first time you’d been the reason for it.
‘Hey, Mase? Why did you cut all your hair off?’
‘I get hot in the summer if it’s too long’ he laughed before looking at you shyly. ‘Why, do you not like it?’
‘Quite the opposite, I think it’s very sexy’ you winked, causing him to blush and look away before turning back to you with a sparkle in his eye.
‘Is that so?’ He asked and you just nodded whilst biting your lip seductively. ‘How about I take you upstairs and show you how sexy I’ve always found you? Properly this time, I barely got to taste you before’ he whispered against your lips, drawing circles on your thigh and even though you’d had him not that long ago you were itching for more so you nodded before kissing him quickly to let him know you were ready. He surprised you by throwing you over his shoulder, your laugh ringing throughout his halls as he made his way up to his room.
Thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you thought as it really helps motivate me to want to write more 🩷
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marleyybluu · 1 year
Text
Secret Crush
Oscar x black!fem!reader
Warnings: just fluff, Oscar being a simp, flirting
Word count: 1.7k
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He felt like he was visibly shaking. He wouldn't stop bouncing his foot while he sat in the chair. Three bottles of liquor and a shot glass to his left with an empty awaiting chair in front of him. Today was the day he'd finally admit his feelings to his crush and what better way to do it than with some liquid courage, a room full of cameras and in front of thousands of viewers? 
Thanks to his little brother Cesar, he received an email from one of the producers of a YouTube channel called 'Cut' for their popular segment of Truth or Drink. He wasn't for it at first but in the words of his younger sibling it was time for him to "grow a pair." Reminding him he should've smacked him in the head for this. 
It was plain as daylight that he had a crush on her, he hated the feeling though-- the way his heart would almost burst out of his chest when he saw her, the way he would listen attentively when she spoke and how that sweet smooth voice of hers could have him hypnotized all day. He wasn't used to these feelings it almost scared him. 
"Hi. Do you mind telling us your name?" The lady standing next to the camera greeted bringing him down from his thoughts. "Wassup, my name is Spooky." He nodded not giving his government name. 
"And why are you here?" 
He lowly chuckled while shaking his head. "I am here to tell my crush that I like her." 
"Does she have any idea why she’s here today?" 
He shook his head. "She's actually a fan of these videos, but I told her we were doing truth or drink friends." Lowkey hated that he had to lie to her. "Is it okay if we bring her out now? Are you ready?" 
Spooky took a deep breath and nodded as he sat up straight, the same lady had gone to the backrooms to summon her. She came back out with her hot on her heels, Spooky had a small glimmer in his eyes as he smiled at her, she was all bright and cheery as she waved to him. "Hola papito." 
"Hola mamita." He beamed, his brown eyes following her as she sat down. She rested her hands on the table and turned over to the camera. "And who do we have here?"
"I am Y/n." 
"Heard you're a fan of these videos." 
She turned to look at Spooky knowing he was the only one who would binge-watch these with her. "Yeah, it's a bit nerve-wracking to be on the other side."
"So, how do you two know each other?" 
Y/n started to giggle. "His little brother is dating my cousin, so I met him at one of our family functions." 
Spooky's tongue poked the inside of his cheek fighting so hard not to smile as he himself recalled the first time he met her and how she dragged him inside when he claimed he was only dropping off Cesar. He was glad she did it. 
The producer allowed them to take one shot before the questions started, Spooky poured her drink for her and slid it over before pouring his own, they clinked the glasses and threw their heads back to quickly down the burning drink. Y/n's eyes squeezed shut and her head shook as she reached for the glass of juice next to her. She wasn't much of a drinker but if it was being offered she'd take it. 
The cards were laid out faced down in front of them, each person had their own stack. He offered that she go first, she picked up the first card almost nervous to do so since she knew a lot of these questions could take a turn at any time. "What is something about me that you find intriguing?" He watched as she put down the card next to the stack she just took it from. "I don't know if it's weird to say this but you change a lot. Your hair is different every time I see you and I like that, it's cool to see that you can do so much with it. You watch one video and recreate a style perfectly, I like it."
She flashed a smile. "It's not weird to say, thank you I appreciate that. I always feel like they don't turn out good." 
"Nah they turn out amazing, trust me." He said getting ready to pick a card. 
"Do you have a favourite style of hers?" 
He nodded. "I like when it's up and it's got a little puff at the top. Sometimes she'll... make it curly, sometimes she won't. I like it either way." 
 "What are my toxic traits?" He rolled his eyes placing the card down.
Y/n raised her eyebrows. "You are so hard-headed." Spooky kissed his teeth turning his head away from her, she laughed and pointed. "See! You guys have no idea how many times I tell him 'I told you so.' All because you don't want to listen." 
He looked back over to her fighting another grin but that dimple of his gave him away. He gently kicked her under the table and she returned it a bit harder. The producers could already tell the dynamic they most likely have outside of this interview, childish and playful, he was such a serious person when he was sitting in that chair but the minute she came out he was a different person. They had chemistry there was no denying that.
Y/n flipped over her card, reading it in her head first and blushing at the fact that she really had to ask this. "Would you say you're a good kisser?" She was pretty interested in knowing. 
He looked over at the camera and back at her. "I would say I am yeah." 
"Do you use tongue?" The lady in the background instigated. Spooky nervously laughed, his hand went to the back of his neck, he lightly scratched it as he nodded his head.  Y/n bit her lip and shuffled in her seat feeling a sudden heat and tingle building in the pit of her stomach. 
He reached for another question. "Rate my attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10." That was more of a statement than a question. 
"10." 
Spooky's face fell, not in a bad way but more in a surprised way, he did not expect her to answer so quickly. Y/n shrugged providing an explanation. "Spooky, sweetie, I'm not blind. You are very attractive. I'm not the only girl who thinks so either." A subtle jab at the number of girls she sees flocking to him whenever he has a Santos party or even if he's just merely driving around town. 
She had no reason to be jealous, at least that's what she told herself, but she couldn't help but feel a little disdain towards them. "Hold on, I kind of want to know what you rate me."
Spooky reached over for a bottle and poured some liquor, Y/n's mouth hung open and her heart sank, she could feel her posture slouch in disappointment. He raised the glass to his lips before saying, "20." He winked at her before tipping his head back.
Her frown quickly disappeared. "Pendejo." 
-
They went back and forth until the pile became smaller and smaller. "If we were to have sex, what would you do to me or what would you let me do to you?" 
Spooky was full-on blushing at this point. Y/n shrugged reaching for a drink. "If you're lucky, querido, you could find out." She answered. 
She was teasing him and he was liking it. "We're actually going to have Spooky pick up another card, sorry, we didn't get that shot." The producer lied. 
He inhaled deeply and exhaled enough that it almost sunk his chest in. He picked up another card, staring at it a bit longer than the others, he cleared his throat as he put it down. "Can I just take a shot instead?" 
"Boy, just ask the question, you know you can ask me anything." Y/n reassured. He exhaled once more and just went for it. "I have a crush on you..." 
Her eyes widened slightly and her shoulders relaxed. "No you don't." 
"I do." 
Y/n squinted and reached over to the card that he had just put down wondering whether this was a joke or not. And it wasn't. The card instructed that he confess his feelings. "Oh shit..." 
That wasn't the answer he was looking for, now all of a sudden he was starting to be filled with regret, he knew doing this was stupid. Y/n noticed his demeanour change and quickly responded. "Spooky... I like you too." 
"You do?" 
She nodded eagerly. "A lot. Why do you think I pulled you into the party when we first met? I thought you were so fine, and then we started talking... and then I saw you again and we kept seeing each other outside of Monse and Cesar..." She was rambling, she was rambling nervously. He placed his hand on top of hers, a small gesture to get her to stop before she talked her head off. 
"I'm not gonna lie yo, I was nervous to do this, nervous you wouldn't like me back." 
"Oh papito, what's not to like?" She cooed. 
"So what is the plan now?" 
Spooky looked at Y/n. "Good question. I say I'll take you on our first date tomorrow. If you're cool with that." 
"I am more than cool with that." 
"Come here." Spooky held onto her hand as she stood up from her seat, she pulled down her skirt a bit a made her way over to him comfortably sitting on his lap. His free hand wrapped around her waist. 
"Well, I think we'll end it here. I just want to thank you two for coming on, and I wish you nothing but luck on this, hopefully, new journey." 
Y/n grinned. "Thank you." 
"Thanks." 
As the team took down the equipment they stayed seated together. He placed a hesitant and gentle kiss on her shoulder. "Maybe I should take you on a date now instead." 
She placed her hand on his cheek, pressing a kiss on his nose. "Let's go then." 
If you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.
peace and love
tags (also tagging those who might be interested):
@skyesthebomb @darqchilddaydreamz @realhotgurlshit
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btsficsandsuch · 8 months
Text
Leaked- Part 2
I decided to break this up too so there will be a third and final part. Part 1 here
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@hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @prettyxxxplease @moons-v @btsfluffsworld @shycreationdreamland @namjooningera @scuzmunkie I think I tagged everyone that asked. Sorry if I missed anyone.
Some mention of an accident/trauma below.
“Would you guys like anything to drink?”, you asked trying to break the awkward silence. Namjoon shook his head, “No thank you. We’re sorry to drop in unannounced likes this Y/N.” “Don’t worry about it. How can I help you two?”, you said while motioning for them to have a seat. They were both hesitant which made you even more nervous. You had already complied with everything that was asked of you. What more could they want?
Yoongi spoke first, “We want to apologize to you. This whole situation was mishandled.” You were confused yet intrigued to hear what else they had to say. Namjoon continued, “Last week we found out some new information about who leaked our album. Remember how you can mentioned a former disgruntled employee and you suggested that maybe he had something to do with it?” You nodded and you thought your heart might beat through your chest. Yoongi took over this time, “Well last week the company received an anonymous email from someone threatening to make Jimins relationship known to the public. They were able to trace the email and found that it came from that disgruntled employee. While going through his computer they found the original file of the album and he admitted to being the one that leaked it.”
Namjoon continued from there, “Y/N we’re really sorry that we blamed you. We should’ve waited for them to investigate. We were just so upset and you were the only other person outside of the company to know about it. We feel awful.” You sat in silence unsure of how to react. Yoongi chimed in again, “We want to invite you over to the new house for dinner. Jin has a whole seven course meal planned. All of your favorites. We’d really like to make amends and have you back in our lives. We miss you.”
On one hand this is what you’ve been waiting for. You’ve missed them so much and you want nothing more than to go back to how things were. On the other hand you were furious and hurt. They accused you of something horrible and didn’t even give you a chance to defend yourself before cutting you out of their lives like you were nothing and now they think a simple sorry and a dinner is going to make it all okay. “Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it. But I think I’ll pass on the dinner.”, you said without looking up. Namjoon reached for your hand, “Are you sure? We’d really like to make it up to you.”
“Yeah I’m sure. You guys were my best friends and the first time something bad happens you immediately accuse me and disown me. I had to go be interrogated by your lawyers like I was some kind of criminal. And all along the person who leaked it was the same person I told you guys about from the start. I’m sorry but inviting me to dinner doesn’t take away all of that hurt. And who’s to say that the next time something bad happens you guys won’t blame me all over again. I don’t want to end up being your scapegoat again and loosing everything.”, you said feeling better after getting it off your chest.
They both nodded their heads in understanding. Yoongi gave you a small smile before heading for the door. Namjoon reached out to shake your hand, “Thank you for speaking with us. Again we’re sorry for everything. Take care of yourself Y/N.” With that they both walked out the door closing it behind them. It was only once they left that you noticed the piece of paper that Namjoon had snuck into your hand, “We’re genuinely sorry. If you ever want to talk again you know our address.” You scoffed and threw away the piece of paper before retreating to your bed.
The next couple weeks went by in a flash. Work was super busy which you were thankful for. It kept your mind busy. Especially after receiving a giant bouquet of flowers from Taehyung and Jin sent a box of his famous cookies as an apology. You were touched that they were trying so hard to reach out but you didn’t want to give in and get hurt again. The thought of going to their house and making amends crossed your mind but you decided to ignore it.
You were excited when you got home from work today. Your good friend was coming over to spend the night. It had been a while since you’d seen each other. You were going to order a ton of food and gossip and have a few drinks. You were also going to watch a special concert that was going to be on the tv. It was the annual BTS charity concert that they held every year to raise money for the children’s hospital. You were still angry at how everything unfolded but you were a fan of theirs long before you were a friend so there was a part of you that was still excited.
The concert was going great. Even all the rain that suddenly appeared didn’t put a damper on things. They were almost all the way through the set list when Namjoon started giving a speech, “This next one is a new never before heard song. We just wrote it within the last couple weeks. It’s an apology song. We made a big mistake and it cost us one of our dearest friends. Y/N, if you’re watching, this one’s for you.” You stared at your tv screen in disbelief. Your friend stared at you in even more disbelief. The song they sang was beautiful. It was about making a bad choice even though it felt right at the time and how it cost them their friend who they saw as family and how they felt broken ever since but they would do anything to make it right. They just didn’t know how.
They played a few more songs before ending the concert but you didn’t really pay any attention after the apology song. You were too stuck in your thoughts. “I have to go.”, you suddenly said to your friend before quickly grabbing your purse and heading out the door.
The wind and rain were brutal and you really wished you would’ve at least grabbed a coat before you left in a rush. Lost in your thoughts you started to walk across the street to get to the bus stop when you saw a flash of lights and heard a loud sound. It sounded like a car horn. You never had a chance to react.
“Wow look at all the emergency vehicles.”, Jungkook spoke. “Yeah I hope everyone’s okay.”, Hoseok said as they all sat in the van waiting for the police officer to give the driver the okay to go around so they could get back home after their concert. “Come on guys. Don’t stare. Someone obviously got hurt very badly for there to be this amount of emergency response.”, Jin let out. The members sat in silence as they watched the paramedics lift up the gurney and start walking someone to the waiting ambulance. As they walked past the van the boys all turned away not wanting to invade this persons privacy in their worst moment. Jimin thought they had finished walking past when he turned his head back around. He gasped, “Guys, the person on the gurney is Y/N.”
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smoooothoperator · 9 months
Text
Beautiful Stranger
11: Begin Again
Driver! Lando Norris x OC (Lily Barton)
Summer love, strangers to friends to lovers, Greece and Greek mythology references
Words: 3.3k
Masterlist
Official playlist
previous part | epilogue
a/n: so this is the end guys... But don't worry, you'll have a epilogue!!! The end was how you expected? Was something surprising? I read you!
Every type of feedback is very welcomed
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13th of November
His birthday. He always liked to celebrate it. Since he was little his mom used to make him a birthday cake and invite some of his friends to his house, making a small party in the backyard of the house. They sang "Happy birthday" to him and then he blew the candles while they clapped.
But this year, even if it was the same and he could celebrate it with his family and friends, he didn't want to celebrate it. Because the person he loves is not here with him.
Last night he wrote another email. And she didn't reply, again.
He got out of the bed, leaving on it the blonde girl whose name he can't remember, and went to the kitchen. The sun is rising yet, it's too early.
How could he fell so low? At which moment did he decide that being with different girls could make him forget about her, if the only thing he does is compare them to her? And the worst part of it was that every time he did that, he ended up writing her an email in the middle of the night with the girl he took to his bed sleeping next to him
"How am I lying to?" He sighed, rubbing his face with a hand.
The truth is that he was losing hope. He was giving up slowly. And it scared him more than not having her forgiveness and living his whole life knowing that he let her go because of a mistake he made.
"Hey" the girl purred, walking out of the bedroom wearing his shirt. "Smells nice"
"Mhm" he nodded, taking a sip of the tea. "I think you should leave"
"Why? You didn't have fun?" she chuckled. 
"No" he said, looking away. "And I have to take a plane. So if you would leave soon, I would appreciate it"
"What an asshole" she groaned, turning around and going to his bedroom to get dressed with the clothes she came with.
He didn't see her walk out, but the front door being slammed after she left made him know she wasn't happy. Neither was he.
Sometimes he imagined how his life would be if he never lied to her. They could be calling all days, asking how their day was. Lando liked the idea of her watching his races on the TV at her house, or while she was working on her office at home. Ne would be sending her VIP paddock passes in case she wanted to come to a race and when she came he would always show her around and explain everything related to his work.
But those are only things he creates in his head. Lies he tells to himself trying to not think about what he did.
"Happy birthday, muppet" Carlos chuckled through the phone.
"Oh, hey… thanks, mate" he sighed. 
"Are you okay?" he sighed, making him bite his lip and smile weakly.
"Yeah, yeah… just a year older" he laughed sadly. "I'm okay"
"I'll see you later? Your father asked me if I was going to your birthday party at their house" Carlos said.
"Oh, sure" he smiled weakly. "Yeah…"
"Okay, tell me what's wrong, Lando" he sighed. "I can feel that you are not being yourself"
"You think so?" Lando asked, letting a sarcastic laugh get out of his chest. "I haven't been myself since I came back from Greece, Carlos. And you know why"
"You should forget her. This time for real. She won't answer you"
"I'm not ready for that" he sighed. "I just… she was the one, mate. I swear. In such a short time I loved her so much"
"But you decided to ruin it, Lando" he sighed. "You didn't make it work properly"
"Not you too, please…"
"No, Lando. Stop complaining and listen to me. I think I have every right to say what I'm going to say" Carlos sighed, making him nod even if he couldn't see that. "I told you from the start that what you did was stupid. You could have told her your name without creating a lie knowing that she didn't recognize you. But no, you decided to play the immature card and lie to her and to the whole town where you stayed. The second stupid thing you did was fall for her and not tell the truth explaining things with time, just how she did. She trusted you and the only thing you did was give her false trust"
"You think that I don't know that, Carlos?" he frowned, holding the phone tightly. "You don't think that I regret lying to her? I know I acted immature, you don't have to repeat it"
"Then act like the adult you are and mature" he frowned. "Settle down, find someone and marry her later"
"I already found her" he frowned. "And I won't give up on her"
He ended the call, disappointed because one of my best friends doesn't support him. 
He might be selfish, but the only one that knows when he found the love of his life it's him.
After finishing breakfast, he grabbed his backpack and got everything ready to leave, making the bed and making sure that everything was in order. 
How can he be happy the day of his birthday knowing that she won't be there?
"Fuck…" he sighed, chucking the email and watching that there's no reply, again.
The plane flight felt longer than it was. He wasn't excited to go back home, to meet family and friends and spend time with them. 
But maybe Carlos was right. Maybe… maybe he should forget her, find someone else and have a real start, without lies and always telling the truth. Maybe he should close that chapter of his life and start a new one, make himself a new man.
He kept his phone muted all day, not wanting to be disturbed and deleting all the notifications he had on his phone.
All the notifications, the new email with a reply included between them, sending it to the spam.
When the plane landed, he saw his friend there to welcome him, holding a big paper with the letters "Happy Birthday" on it. Lando smiled weakly and walked towards him, hugging him tightly.
"It has been a long time since you celebrated your birthday here" Max smiled him, hugging his shoulders and walking with him towards his car. "How are you feeling?'
"Like shit, mate… like an actual shit" he smiled weakly.
The way towards his family house wasn't long, letting him look out of the window and watch all the houses he remembers from his childhood, one of them being too special for him.
"Do you remember that house from the end of the street?" Lando asked his friend.
"The one of Miss Rose?" Max frowned looking at his side. "Yeah"
"I always wanted to buy it when I was little" he smiled weakly. "Thinking I could grow old on that house and have a family there"
"Mhm" his friend nodded. 
"I… should I give up?" he mumbled, playing with his fingers nervously. "Should I forget Lily and start a new chapter of my life? Why do I feel my heart being squeezed by the thought of that?"
"Because that, my friend, is how love works" Max smiled weakly. "I know you fucked up pretty bad. But love is love. I know some people tell you that you should move on and continue with your life. But I know you, mate… I know you too much to know that you are not like that. That when you fall for someone you fall so hard that you don't care about being hurt later"
"Then why are people telling me to give up?" he frowned. "Carlos called me this morning and told me to find someone else. I can't! I can't imagine my life without her"
"Can I ask you something?" he said, stopping the car at the traffic light. "Four months have passed since you left Greece, and you had a lot of free time while not having races. Why did you never  think about going there and talk with her instead of sending her emails?"
"I…"
"You say that you miss her and that you love her. But you never tried to go back to her" Max frowned. 
"Because I wanted to give her space" he mumbled, trying to convince himself that it was the right answer.
"Did you?" he asked. "Or was it that you were afraid of her reaction?"
Lando looked at his friend surprised. He never wanted to admit it. He had dreams, nightmares, about her saying that she hates him, that she doesn't love him anymore, that she regrets everything. He was afraid of facing her again.
"I don't know" Lando sighed.
"I think it's time to figure it out, mate" Max sighed. "Because sleeping around with girls after going to parties is not the right way of forgetting her or whatever you wanted to get with that"
When Max parked the car in front of his family house, Lando didn't know what to do. His friend is right, he should.go for what he actually wants.
"Come on, everyone is waiting for you"
He walked with Max inside of the house, smiling when he saw everyone there to surprise him, receiving all the hugs they wanted to give him.
"Hey" Carlos smiled weakly, walking towards him. "I'm sorry about this morning…"
"No, you were right" Lando interrupted him. "I have to settle down. And I'll do it,. you'll see"
Carlos smiled proud and hugged his friend, patting his back.
Everyone sat on the table, getting ready for lunch while talking.
Lando smiled looking around, watching his family and friends. He couldn't help but feel a stab on his chest not finding her face there, but he has his friends and loved ones near, and a plan working on his brain.
After his family sang to him, he closed his eyes and made a wish, making his smile grow a little.
"I wish she gives me a second chance and we could live on Miss Rose's house until the end of times"
He blew off the candles and smiled looking around, grabbing the knife and cutting it to share with his friends.
After eating, everyone went to the backyard. Some of them were playing football, others were sitting on chairs and drinking beers. 
He looked at his brother, how he played with his daughters Mila and Athena, making Lando smile. 
He wants the same Oliver has. He wants a family to love and build a future. He wants Lily to build a future with him.
He's decided. Once the season finishes, he will go to find her. He will go and talk with her like two adults. He will ask her to be his, to create something only they can know how to build.
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26th of November
He felt a weight get out of his shoulders once he crossed the finish line.
His second half of the season was hard, finishing with points but not as high as he wanted. 
But he didn't care anymore.
He knows that once he gets out of the car he will be free for the rest of the year. He knows that once he takes off the racing suit he will be free of work responsibilities and he can do whatever he wants.
He took off his helmet and looked up at the night sky, taking a deep breath and smiling. 
He knows that once he leaves the hotel, he will take a plane that will land on Athens and then another plane that will land on Corfu. He knows it will be a long day, but for her he has enough energy.
"What are you going to do during the winter break?" Oscar asked him, walking towards the McLaren hospitality after their media duties.
"I'll go get my girl back" he smiled proudly.
Everything was perfect in his mind. Too perfect that he never thought about things that could go wrong. He didn't even reserve an apartment for him to stay, thinking that she could open her apartment for him.
The moment he landed in Greece, he was tired. His body was begging him to stop and rest, to recover energy. But his heart was beating too fast, he was too excited to be here and find the love of his life again. So he fought against the tiredness and catched the second plane and the ferry that could bring him near the town.
Once he got out of the taxi in front of Nora's restaurant, he smiled looking around. This place feels like home, only because of a person.
"Lando? What are you doing here?"
He turned around and smiled at the old woman, walking towards her with his suitcase next to him.
"I came for Lily"
"Lily…" she smiled sadly. "I told her you would come… but she didn't listen to me"
"Is she working? Or she's at the apartment?" Lando asked, looking around.
"Oh, lovely boy… she's no longer here"
"W-what?" he frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"She left a week ago, Lando" she smiled weakly, hugging him. 
"Why? I… I came to apologize. To talk with her" he frowned, confused. 
"I think you came too late, kid…"
Exactly. He came too late.
"Where is she?" he mumbled. "Nora, please… where is she?"
The old woman smiled weakly, grabbing his hand and walking him inside her restaurant, making sure he grabbed his suitcase. 
He let himself fall on a chair, not understanding what was happening. 
Lily, the Lily that loves Greece, left.
"Why did she leave?" he asked her, confused.
"Because she faced her own fears" Nora sighed. "And I see that you did the same"
"Yeah but… too late" he laughed sadly. "Too late… God, if I only came when Max told me"
"Why did you decide to come, Lando?" she asked, placing a cup of coffee in front of him.
"Because I wanted to see her. To apologize… to ask her to be mine" he mumbled. 
"Why did you stop writing? Why did you never answer her? That's why she left, kid. Because she felt that you moved on"
"What? Answer her? She never answered me!" he frowned. 
"She sent you an email for your birthday. You didn't read it?" she frowned confused.
Lando frowned, grabbing his phone and searching the email. He searched for dates, for her name. But it didn't show up.
"Oh…" he frowned when he opened the spam. "She replied…"
"Yes, she did" Nora smiled weakly. "She read all your emails, she wore your clothes all the time"
All this time he thought Lily didn't want him. Everything he wanted was to see her, to talk with her and hold her.
"God, I'm such an idiot" he groaned. 
"Here" she smiled, leaving a paper next to his cup, the same gesture she did when he left four months ago. "If you truly love this girl, please do things right. If you love her and feel ready to tell her the truth, go there"
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December of 2023
The moment she left the town she was scared. She was scared of facing a new reality and starting again.
Four months ago she imagined leaving this town for a reason, for a person. She wanted to leave this town because he asked her to go live with him. Not because his lie made her open her eyes and realize that she needed to start again.
When she left Parga, the first thing she did was sell the engagement ring, making sure to have extra money. The next thing was to sell the old apartment she had in London, closing the open chapter she had of her past.
And now, in her new apartment in the middle of Firenze, she could start again. 
The boxes full of the furniture she had in London, suitcases with clothes and her art she brought from Greece and the new items she bought were on the floor of the flat, waiting to be placed on a perfect place for them.
She decided to start studying at an art academy where she can improve on her own art. She rented a small store where she can sell handmade things, with all the shells she found in Greece and creating her own brand.
Lily was proud of herself. Of how she got out of that lie she was living in. Of how she knew she could do everything alone, without a man next to her.
But sometimes she finds herself, laying on her bed, dressed with his hoodies. They stopped smelling like him, and even if she bought his perfume, it wasn't the same. It didn't smell like him anymore. And it broke her heart just a little, knowing that losing his smell meant losing him too.
She used to check his social media, to see how he was doing. She even started watching races while she was in Greece, supporting him in silence.
Somewhere deep inside her wished he answered her. She kept checking her email, but there wasn't anything from him.she wished he went to Parga, but it was just an stupid wish.
She spent her birthday alone, buying herself a cake and blowing the candles after making her wish.
"I wish he was here holding me at night"
Firenze was cold in winter, making her wear hoodies and jumpers and keep her favorite dresses at the highest shelf of the wardrobe. Everytime she sees herself in a mirror, her mind goes back to her life in England, and it makes her shiver thinking about that.
The past is in the past. She can't change it, she won't change it. But what she can change is the future and the present, and she only hopes all her wishes come true.
That day, 6th of December, after eating her own birthday cake, she decided to take a walk around the city with a notebook and pencils in her bag, leaving her phone on the living room table.
Something she likes about that city is that no one will look at you while you sit on the stairs and draw what you were looking at. No one will question what you were doing, who you are. They will know immediately that you are someone that came to admire their place and capture its beauty on a notebook page.
"Buona sera" the lady of the coffee shop greeted her with a smile. "The same as always?"
"Yeah, thank you" she smiled.
She stopped lying to herself, being someone she's not. She wants to be authentic, true to her own essence.
After grabbing the cup of tea she walked out of the store, deciding to sit on a bench nearby and draw what she had in front of her, getting lost on every detail if it, losing the sense of time.
When she looked at the clock of her wrist she gasped. It's late and the next day she has class in the morning. So she collected everything and put it back in her bag, standing up and walking towards her apartment, listening to her music.
Opening the front door of the building she called the elevator, getting jsnjde if it and pressing the button of her floor, humming happily while holding the bag with her dinner.
What she didn't expect was to find a person sitting on the stairs next to her door, with a backpack on his lap and a suitcase next to her door.
"What…" she gasped when she stepped out of the elevator.
"I called but I heard you left the phone inside…" he said looking at her with a smile.
"You came…" she mumbled surprised, feeling how her heart started to beat fast, wanting to escape from her chest and join his heart. 
"Happy birthday, my beautiful stranger" he smiled, standing up and looking at her, opening his arms for her.
taglist
@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster8 @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow @celestialpierre @ophcelia @msliz @lorarri @ironmaiden1313 @imsorare @mycenterfold @im-an-overthinker @soosheee @karmabyfernando @landoyesrizz @sticksdoesart @beatricemiruna @nonameishere @flwr-stella @lordperceval-16 @arisainz
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f1tyreslightmyfyre · 6 months
Text
Immortal Artistry - Ch. 7
Series Main List
A Vampire AU F1 Fic Featuring Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader, George Russell x Fem!Reader, hints of Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader, Lestappen, Sebchal, and Sainzell (or Russainz?)
Also on AO3
A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! The notifications on this fic bring the biggest smile to my face 😊
Ch. 7 Warnings: Language
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2023
The walls of your office stare back at you, both familiar and unfamiliar now that your world has inverted. Just four days ago, you met Charles Leclerc. Just four days ago, Xavier was still alive. Just four days ago, vampires didn’t exist. 
And now?
Not only do vampires exist - they want World War II looted artifacts, and you’re caught squarely in the middle through no fault of your own.
Indeed, life can sure be a bitch, but honestly, you never thought it could come to this.
How could it? Supernatural creatures of horror films didn’t exist, except that they clearly do, and clearly, they have plans, factions, and goals. It probably shouldn’t surprise you since they were all human at some point in time, and humans have been warring in factions to accomplish goals since the dawn of time.
But priceless artwork? Missing since World War II? And treasure maps? It sounds too fanciful to even possibly be real.
The cursor in the blank email window blinks back at you, taunting you. With a sigh, you re-read the email at the bottom of the chain but still find no clarity to draft a response. Instead, you open a browser window and let your fingers loose with the questions spinning in your mind.
WW2 treasure
Looted treasure during WWII
Austrian salt mines treasure
How much art lost during WWII has been found
Authorities trying to recover lost WWII treasure
Unfortunately, most of the links take you back to film The Monuments Men that you barely remember, but the stories from the men who lived to recover the stolen cultural artifacts fuels your speculation. Perhaps George was one of those men? Charles already told you that he died – err, transformed – in 1940, so he would have learned about the location of the looted treasures during the war, if not after. But Carlos said that Charles got there first, before at least he arrived… and George, presumably. So, what gives them the right to claim the stolen treasure for themselves instead of Charles?
You didn’t think to ask this morning when Carlos had been transformed. Or is that too personal of a question to ask a vampire? The idea flashes in your mind to google vampire conversation etiquette, but you refuse to have that in your internet search history. But perhaps Carlos and George were both on a cultural artifact recovery team and encountered Charles as he was… doing what exactly? Stealing stolen art? Looting looted goods?
“I have certainly studied art,” Charles said as he continued to scan and sign the array of papers. “I suppose one could call me a collector of art, but while I claim paltry skill with a brush, I do favor myself for having an appreciation of beautiful pieces.”
Slowly, you nodded as he recapped the pen. “It sounds like you have seen a lot of interesting pieces over the course of your studies and search for beauty.”
His eyes flashed with something you couldn’t place – something predatory, something fond, something satisfying. “Yes,” he said at length as he rose. “I have seen much, with much still left yet to see.”
The memory creeps a shiver down your spine. Has Charles actually been honest with you from the start? Thinly-veiled and vague as it was, but he didn’t lie… maybe that’s the wisdom gained from living 83 years while still looking like a 25-year old.  
You stared up at Carlos. “Assuming you’re saying what I think you’re saying? That Charles has some World War II treasure map that George wants for himself?” The words sounded no less ridiculous as they rang in your ears, but honestly, life stopped being normal since that first meeting with Charles Leclerc.
“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Carlos confirmed. “Except, George doesn’t think Charles has it – he thinks that you have it.”
Your eyes widened as you nearly choked on your coffee. “That’s impossible – Charles has given me nothing.”
You push up from your desk chair, exhaling heavily to try and make sense of the memories that plague you. Or maybe you’re trying to outrun the sense of dread knotting your stomach. Because perhaps, maybe… just maybe, Charles has given you more than you realize. At least in terms of verbal truth, if not physical objects. But surely nothing he’s said to you could possibly be a clue or the key to finding a stolen World War II treasure hoard.
An incredulous grin lights your face, matched by a soft laugh as you shake your head. Or maybe the answer is more simple and you’re just losing your damn mind.
Your feet carry you aimlessly towards the private executive conference room. As you push the door open, in your mind’s eye, you can still see Charles’ sleek, polished form seated at the table. The overhead light had danced in his mercurial eyes with such intriguing temptation and the cut of his suit complemented the lean lines of his body, and… god, as a human, had he been that handsome?
Heat rises in your cheeks without permission as you cross around the large table and pull out the chair in which he previously sat. You drum your fingers against the polished tabletop, trying to put yourself in his shoes. But how can you possibly hope to have his decades-long perspective? How can you possibly understand the depth and breadth of his plans? Especially if he’s been able to outwit every modern-day digital identification device and legal system to be at least three different versions of himself over the decades. If he can indeed live forever, how long will he have to go on changing his legal name and signing paperwork?
Will he someday be Charles Leclerc, LXIV?
Your eyes roam the tabletop, studying the rings in the wooden surface, the leather stitching on the edge of the company branded coasters, the caddy of pens that –
Wait.
Just what…Your mouth goes dry as one pen doesn’t match the rest. A pen that looks way too fancy for anything your firm would buy – a black capped pen with gold accents that looks eerily familiar.
Charles reached into the interior pocket of his suit jacket. He withdrew a sleek, black capped pen with gold accents and deftly unscrewed the cap. Glancing up at you, he offered another cute, almost shy smile. “You’ll forgive me if I’m a little old-school,” he said as a gleaming gold fountain tip came into view. “Ball point pens just aren’t as artistically satisfying.”
A gasp passes your lips as the memory slams through you. You could have sworn that Charles put the pen back in his jacket after signing, but the truth of it stares you in the face. Your hand trembles with anxious anticipation as you reach forward, feeling the pen’s cool metal against your fingertips. Is this somehow it? Could this possibly be the answer?
The pen has a deceptive weight as you turn it over in your hands, studying the light reflecting off the polished surface. You unscrew the cap to reveal the sharp fountain tip, and you wish you had a notepad to confirm that the pen still works. You saw it for yourself that night – so it must have some inkwell inside it, but… is that all? Rotating the pen, you search for another way to open it – some seam, some screw top – and the case yields with a hard twist, unscrewing from the body. Setting the cap down in your lap, the pen disassembles to reveal the ink cartridge and… something else.
A small, slim canister falls into your lap, and heart-pounding anticipation seizes you. Do you dare open it? Perhaps it’s booby trapped? Or maybe it’s… empty? You wet your top lip nervously before giving the canister a gentle shake. The contents rattle as the object inside knocks against the bottom and lid of the canister.
Would opening it be a step too far? Or are you already implicated enough?
Exhaling an uneasy sigh, you pop off the canister’s cap and out slides a roll of… film? With the prevalence of digital technology, you can’t recall when you last saw a physical roll of film, let alone one so teeny-tiny small. Your brow furrows as a distant thought surfaces – classic movie spies always use small cameras to take photos of clandestine documents. Hell, even today libraries still rely heavily on microfiche and microfilm for archiving purposes.  
But is that what you actually hold? Working a nervous swallow down your throat, you unfurl the roll of film and risk holding it up to the light for a better look. Squinting closely at it  - crude, hand-drawn lines snake across the image of a page, like roads… like a map. A circle that looks suspiciously like a compass rose rests in the upper left corner of the image, and your stomach drops to your feet. The rest of the details are too small for you to make out, but writing accompanies the drawing, and… oh fuck.
Did you actually hold proof of a World War II treasure map in your hands?
Your heart pounds as you quickly roll up the film and shove it back in the canister. Your mind reels as you screw the pen back together and replace the cap. With trembling fingers, you set it on the table as if holding it any longer will burn you.
Just what the fuck do you do now?
You could always keep it. Tell Charles you have it and ask him what he wants you to do with it. What was Xavier going to do with it anyway? Store it? Destroy it?
Those seem to be the only two real options.
You could keep it – maybe even use it. Could… what would happen if you give it to George? Does that fundamentally shift the pieces on Charles’ figurative chessboard?
But what if you destroyed it? The rubbish chute sits at the end of the corridor hallway, and rumor has it, it feeds straight into the building incinerator. If neither Charles nor George have the map, then neither of them have an advantage. Or does that somehow play into Charles’ plan? Does that set the chess pieces in the formation that Charles wants?
Indecision cripples you as you stare down at the pen – at the crux of this whole damn mess.
Just what are you going to do?
Keep It - Chapter 8 (targeted for 11-Dec)
Destroy It  - Chapter 9 (targeted for 11-Dec)
Tag List: @fictional-l0v3r @hollie911
Series Main List
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fandomwritingbit · 10 months
Note
Okay what about one where there reader is Michael's new (hot) art teacher and William is just "Michael you need to join the art club immediately" or "well I GUESS if the pta needs help with the spring art festival -"
Hello! This has too so long I'm sorry 😶 Uh I hope this is what kind of thing you were looking for, thank you so much for the request.
Side note it took me so long to figure out what pta was lmao
So,
art teacher (gn)reader x william afton (sfw)
"Well, I'm happy to let you know that Michael is doing really well in my class. He's an absolute pleasure to teach." You smile, looking from the father to the son. The resemblance was more than evident, but their attitudes were opposites, Michael sat as he always did, hunched forward, his hands twisted together, he was scarcely able to hold your eyes for more than a few seconds. His father though took up a lot of room in his chair, his posture reeking of easy confidence and he had no difficulty looking at you. It was moments like this that you could learn a lot about a student’s home life and it was abundantly clear that these two weren’t so close.
"But?" Mr Afton prompted, his tone jovial. He was beginning to understand why his son likes art so much. A lovely thing like you leading the class? Who could blame him? He'd expected some old lady wearing well too many scarfs, glasses on a pearled chain around her neck, not someone like you.
"But,” You can’t help but smile, heat rising to your cheeks, “as I'm sure you've learnt from his other teachers tonight, currently Michael might struggle to meet the entry requirements of universities." As you spoke, you had to work hard to keep your thoughts on track, this man was attractive in a way you didn't expect. He smirked when you paused, and you forced your gaze on Mike. "But as I said to Michael before, we've got plenty of options to boost grades."
Michael spoke up, "Need to join a club or something."
Nodding, you turn to explain why to Mr Afton. "Yeah, certain enrichments can be graded. I'm advocating the art club… He'd get the opportunity to make a portfolio, which Unis love, and I have no doubt he'd excel." The man before you looked bemused, his eyes flicking up from your lanyard to your eyes. 
"And, do you run the art club?"
You grin a little embarrassed, "Yeah, I do-"
The dad chuckles and looks to Mike offhandedly, "Then you should absolutely join." To which he rolls his eyes, partly at his father’s blatant flirting and at the lack of enthusiasm at joining your club.
Mike sighs, "Yeah okay, I'll go."
"Smashing. I'll put you on my register." You pull out the document from your lever-arch folder and quickly jot his name down. Whilst doing so, the man opposite you watches your left hand for a ring and on seeing there wasn't one, smirks from ear to ear.
Once done, you quickly put your hands out in an attempt to stop them from leaving, "Uh, before you go. I'm really sorry to ask, but we're holding an art festival next week and I'm struggling to find some help... would you be willing to lend a hand?'' You automatically feel guilty for asking. Doing so in person put a lot more pressure than a general email, but you were hoping to almost force him. Like you’d tried to with every other parent tonight. 
You catch Michael’s expression, you’d asked him the other day if he had anyone that would want to help out and he’d laughed a little, “Uh no, not really.” he’d said.  You do feel like you’ve gone behind his back a bit, but if you can’t get a few more pairs of hands this festival is going to fall on its arse.
He sat back in the chair, his feet poking out at your side of the desk, "A festival? What exactly would you have me doing?" 
You smile, pleasantly surprised that he was obliging you, "Mainly the setup, it's a lot of stuff to move out to the green. Though of course all-day help would be appreciated, I just don't want to push my luck."
"You already are," he smirks, "when is it?"
"Next Friday, the 19th." Your eyes go wide as you wait for his answer, all the other parents you’d asked tonight had told you that they were working on Friday, as people tend to do, and you have a feeling that he was about to say the same.
He hums, “Friday-” but is cut off by Michael, 
“You work Fridays.” he states, a harsh tone on the words, making you think that he really didn’t want his dad to help you out. 
Scoffing, he shoots his son a look, “Yeah I do.” Before turning his attention back to you, “But, I could skive it.” The expression on his face is hard to place, perhaps mischievous, or sly. Regardless, you panic slightly.
“Oh. No, you don’t have to do that, Mr Afton-”  
He puts his hand out to silence you and it works, you bite your tongue instantly, “I know, but I will. It’s not exactly like I help out frequently.” He’d decided already, either because his son was clearly desperate for him not to do so, or because he’d like to spend a bit of time with you. Let's face it, it was both. And so, you were left with little option but to graciously accept, and you thank him. 
As your student and his father leave, he shakes your hand. “Thank you, Mr Afton. You’ve really helped me out.” Both your hands encase his and it doesn’t occur to you that that is unusual until you do it, heat beneath your face. He flashes you a smirk that makes your blood ice, before nodding. 
“It’s fine really. Should be fun.” 
~
Friday was as manic as you had expected. The second you arrived at the college you were behind, the mass of stalls and pieces of art were absurd to move even with the three others you’d manage to recruit: the head of languages, Martin, a science teacher, Kris and of course, Mr Afton. Another parent was expected but dropped out last minute, adding to the workload. And the people in charge of the stalls and activities wouldn’t arrive until kick-off so to speak.
Surprisingly, Mr Afton was a godsend. Helping you drag the stall skeletons on to the field, well you dragged them, he rather easily picked them up, somehow managing the awkward height and weight without breaking a sweat. 
“Now, you’re just showing off, Mr Afton.” you giggle, trying not to look at the way his arms flexed whilst he carried the objects. You can’t really help it though and try to steal what glimpses you can as the two of you lug 12 stalls outside. If you’d have known he was doing the same you probably would’ve dropped everything and made a fool of yourself, so mercifully he’s much slier with his staring than you are.  
It’s only when you’re done with the moving, the two of you can start decorating, the other workers put on duty setting up the games, things like a ring toss and lucky-dip. You study him for a moment while he’s distracted tying the string of a line of bunting around a nail that probably shouldn’t be sticking out of the stalls, and good lord this man looks a lot like his son. Everything from the dark hair which probably wasn’t as neat as he’d left it this morning, to the shape of his brow, making his eyes look hooded and narrow. The difference was all attitude and experience. You have to glance away when you start thinking about his experience. 
“Ooh what are you looking at? Am I doing it wrong?” he asks, bringing heat to your cheeks at the knowledge that he’d just caught you staring for way too long. He turned his head, looking down the sting, checking to see it wasn’t coming undone or tangled. 
“No, sorry.” your smile hints at your embarrassment, “It just crossed my mind how much you look like your son, sorry.” God you hate the way you’re smiling just because he’s looking at you but it’s completely involuntary. 
He smirks at that, “Well, I am fairly certain I’m his father.” his tone was playful despite the nature of what he was joking about. “I take it you don’t have any kids?” 
“Uh no, no I don't. What gives that impression?” 
“You look well rested.” he walks over to you and crouches down to look in a box at your feet, “And you’re smiling too much.” 
You giggle, “I know.” You rub at your temples, “It’s a nervous thing.” The second you say that you question yourself why, what a weird thing- you feel so awkward. He’s just a man. An attractive man- yes. But just a tall… brooding… handsome… man. 
“And here I was thinking you were just enjoying my company.” he sniggers, bringing you out of your head, it’s been a long time since a bloke had made you all skittish like this. He properly faces you now, searching your eyes. “What’s making you nervous?”
You, you internally answer, quickly thinking of a more appropriate response, “Just uh today. I have a feeling it’s going to be an absolute nightmare.” You drop your eyes.
“I’m sure you’ll manage.”
You briefly rest a hand on your forehead. “Got no choice really.”
He moves to walk past you but pauses, standing half behind you. “Well, I can stay and help out. If it’s not me that’s making you nervous?” he smirks as he moves away, his voice teasing, riling up some butterflies in your stomach. 
~
He stays, and soon after the others arrive, students flogging their wares and local crafts aficionados, though you have them actually working, you don’t mind Mr Afton drifting around doing a bit here and there. As nice as you find him, he didn’t strike you as someone that would be happy to run a stall on his own. 
Once everything has settled down and the festival is running smoothly, you allow yourself a moment of a break. He finds you sitting on a bench just off the green. There he takes a seat beside you, digging in his pocket for a packet of cigs. 
“You can’t really smoke here, you know.” you laugh as he stops mid action, his lighter half raised.
He shrugs, reasoning “I’m outside.” resuming the act though now watching you for further reaction.
You fold your arms, a grin contradicting the seriousness. You’re well-aware that you weren’t going to stop him. “Still a college… I won’t tell on you though.” 
He chuckles as he takes a drag on it. This was like a flashback to his youth, so he plays his part, “Good. No one likes a sprag.” Man, it’s been a long time since you’ve heard that.
You try to steal a glance at his left hand, wanting to triple check that he wasn’t wearing a ring. Not that you would say or do anything, you just need to know. Not seeing a wedding band wasn’t enough though and the question dances around inside your head.
You finally bite the bullet and spit it out. “You’re not married then, Mr Afton?” you gesture to his hand, to give him context to how you arrived at that. You’d tried to sound like you were making small talk but it failed miserably. 
The mean laugh he lets slip is pure reflex. “No. Not anymore.”He wanted to tease you by asking why you wanted to know, but you’re already flustered and avoiding his direct gaze. 
“So you’re uh…?” you hesitate to finish the question, realising you were jumping to a conclusion. 
Thankfully he finishes it for you, “Divorced? Yeah.” He just loved how you smiled at him in relief there, the amusement evident on his face.
You try to explain why you fumbled that so badly, talking quickly, “Well. I didn't want to say divorced and get it wrong."
“In case…?”
God, your face is hot again, why can’t you just talk normal to this guy. “In case… you know… you were uh widowed or something.” 
“Or something?” he questions again, trying not to laugh at how you were stumbling. 
You put your head in your hands, laughing self-deprecatingly at yourself, “Leave me alone - I’m…” 
“Nervous?”
“A little yeah.” you speak, your face still obscured. “I mean you’ve come and sat with me. I’m just curious why.”  
You don’t need to look to feel the smirk on his face. “Maybe cos I wanted to.” You feel his movement on the bench and look up to catch his gaze, his head cocked to meet your eye line almost perfectly. “You’re pretty, you know. Even with your head in your hands.” 
Your eyes open wide at his bluntness as you try and think of something to say in response. You’re starting to see why Michael was so desperate to keep him away.
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motions1ckness · 10 months
Note
hi, I’m not sure if you’re taking requests atm but could you please write something angsty with shiv? maybe an argument or a secret relationship exposed or something. Your writing for Roman is amazing btw 💕
^thank you so much! and ty for the request it got me out of my slump (literally thought i was gonna have to take a few more days)
“Loving you is painful enough.”
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Summary: A leaked photo of you and Shiv comes out and you’ve had enough of being her secret.
Content: f!reader, secret relationship, so angsty, implied abuse, homophobia, (possible) internalized homophobia, suppressing emotions, cheating, suppressed sexuality, unrequited(?) love, neglecting partner, a crumb of fluff
(there’s sm references to songs and shows i love in this i wonder if anyone will catch a few)
You squeezed Shiv’s hand standing in front of the doors. She smiled back before dropping your hand and detaching from you. This had been going on for months, and her withdrawals consistently added salt to the wound.
Shiv asked you to be her assistant, which helped reduce suspicion. Tom appreciated you. He would always joke that you were her work wife and thanked you for making Shiv less stressed. As the night continued, you two reunited. Roman joined, snickering with his phone in hand.
“What the fuck is this all about?” He showed you two a photo of you walking around New York, hands intertwined and leaning on each other. Fuck.
Assistant or not, it looked like more than a platonic relationship. You felt your face turn red as your heart began racing. You waited for Shiv’s response, she seemed baffled, hesitant to speak.
“Rome are you kidding? Y/n and I aren’t sneaking around, Jesus.” She scoffed. She turned to you, waiting for you to back her.
You felt a lump in your throat as your mouth went dry. “We’re not together, no. Not dating.” You say with a compelling enough smile as you look down at your feet. You didn’t lie. You two weren’t dating.
You loved Shiv, you did. But she’s never expressed it back. The first time you said it was after she spent the night and she made you coffee. She looked so effortlessly pretty. Her hair was naturally wavy, no makeup, and she wore one of your shirts. You blurted out that you loved her, and after a few moments, she gave you a brief smile and began checking her emails.
“It looks like you two are fucking. Dad’s gonna lose his shit when he sees this.” He teases and wanders off.
“Why did you-” She didn’t let you finish. She caught your wrist and tugged you to the terrace with just enough privacy. It was risky being seen alone together but standing in that room would’ve been more harmful.
“Y/n, I know how this looks. I know,” she reassured. You could tell she was attempting to retain herself.
“No Shiv what the fuck was that?” Your voice grew, “You’re like a different person. It’s so- why am I just a secret to you?”
Shiv looked at you with a pained expression, “You know why. Fuck sake, I can’t keep defending myself to you.” She was trying to keep her voice steady.
You did know why. Not just Tom or the fact she was having an affair with her assistant, she would have to come out. Shiv never saw orientation as something significant. None of her siblings dared to talk regarding that. When it got out that Roman was hooking up with his trainer, he never heard the end of it from Logan. Shiv feared her coming out would cause her to seem more weak.
“I just want you to love me, Shiv. I just want to be with you. God, can't you fucking see that? I gave up my job to work for you. I fucking love you and you can’t even stomach saying it back.” Your voice started breaking. You began crying during your rant too.
Shiv stepped back, unable to give you the support you needed. She simply looked at you, her eyes full of sorrow. “I care about you y/n, I do,” you scoffed as you began pacing. She couldn’t say it. “But you’re asking me drop everything for this.” She raised her voice as she began stepping toward you. Grabbing your wrist to stop your pacing.
You paused and met her eyes. She had tears streaming down her face. This was breaking her too. Shiv held onto you tightly.
“It isn’t enough.” You answered truthfully, tearing away from her. “This is exhausting, Shiv. Loving you is exhausting.” Her face sank, and you felt the tears getting more heavy. “I just can't. I-I can’t keep doing this. Not if you can’t actually admit you love me.”
The air grew thicker. Neither of you knew what to say. She remembered Tom saying something similar to her before. She never anticipated going through that again.
“I’m sorry y/n. I’m sorry that I’m not fucking perfect.” She sniffled, flinging her arms out. “But some of us aren’t equipped with fucking support to fall back on. Did you remember all the shit Roman had to deal with?” She crossed her arms to hold herself, “I can’t. I fucking can’t.” She started crying harder, just embracing herself.
Her hair was now messy, her makeup smudged and she got tear stains onto your dress. She merely looked at you, unable to speak from shame and various other emotions. You held her face before wiping her tears and fixing her hair and makeup. Shiv scarcely smiled at your gentleness and remorse for her. She didn't understand how you could still help her after this.
“Y/n I do l-” you cut her off her another hug. You knew what she was trying to say, but you didn’t want her to feel obligated.
“Convince yourself first.” you voiced softly into her hair. You did believe she loved you. Every morning she got you coffee from the spot she wasn’t fond of but knew you liked it. She changed all the soaps in her house to pumpkin because she knows you love that scent. On work days, she quit using heat on her hair because you always tell her you love how it looks natural. You knew she loved you. But she needed to accept that she did first.
She pulled away, remaining silent. She examined you before barely laughing. You couldn’t help but do the same.
Shiv leaned forward, giving you a short kiss. She wanted to convey her love. But she remained aware of her circumstance.
Before returning to the party, she squeezed your hand. “I’m telling Tom it’s over tonight.”
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rbbrbikerthorp · 2 years
Text
From Work Stressed to Smoking Skinhead
[Initially, I’d intended this to be a one-off story, but the set-up has taken so long that there’s going to have to be a second part. Enjoy!]
I’m Gaz, I’m 31. I’m a skinhead. In the picture you can see what I look like, now that my new m8s have transformed me, and have made me unrecognisable from the person I once was.
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But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I forget who I was, let me tell you about how I came to be here. I had a job that some would describe as being a stressful way to earn a living. I was one of those office drones who chased figures every month. As part of my job, I was required to travel, often several times a week; this could be to London, Birmingham, Edinburgh, or where-ever our customers were based. In preference to sitting in traffic on the motorway, taking the train was the stress-free way to travel. It meant I could use the time to check reports or presentations and, on the way, home I’d catch up on any emails that needed dealing with.
So, this one day when my life changed forever, I had a table seat booked on the 6:40am to London, but when I looked at the departure board and saw the word every traveller dreads, ‘cancelled’ was posted against my train. So like dozens of other passengers heading for the capital on that day I was told to catch the next train. When I climbed on board, I realised the train was already very crowded. I’d struggle to get any seat, let alone find a table seat. I walked through three carriages, but there was no empty seats. Just as I was about to accept that I’d be standing in the vestibule, I heard, “Oi, fella...” a voice. Was that aimed at me?
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I turned around. “Here fella, the window seat is free”. So, he was talking to me. I was so grateful for the offer of the seat that, other than his shaved head, (which is normal for many guys these days), At this point I hadn’t taken much notice of him. I thanked the shaved headed guy then I got my laptop out of my bag, which I put up on the luggage rack. Then I took off my jacket hung it on the peg next to the window and plonked myself down in the seat. Very quickly I was lost catching up on a report I needed to finish.
As soon as the train departed, I heard the familiar sound of cans being opened and the familiar smell of beer, which wasn’t that appealing at this time of day. “You look really stressed mate. You should have one of these.” 
I looked up watch, it was just after seven in the morning, “er, what?” I asked. It was then that I realised I was looking at a guy with a completely shaved head, wearing what I thought was a black polo shirt and green kind of bomber jacket.
“You heard. Do yer want a can, a beer?” it was a different voice. I looked up from my screen to see another guy with a shaved head. He was holding out a can of beer, one I didn’t recognise. “I’m Sam by the way.” That’s Billy already ‘on the pop’, and this”, pointing at a slightly older looking guy in the other aisle seat, “is Jimmy.”
“Oh, no thanks. I should have been on the earlier train, but it got cancelled. I didn’t think I’d get a seat on this train because it’s so busy. I’ve got a meeting that starts at 9:30 and I’ve got a report to prepare for it.”
Jimmy quickly chirped in, “Come on”, pulling the ring-pull, “that’s over two hours from now, here.” He grabbed my hand and gave me the can.
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“No, honestly, it’s very kind of you, but I’ve...”
Sam interrupted, and I looked over at him. “Listen, I can see how stressed you are right now. I can see the sweat on yer top lip. You need to relax or yer gonna blow a fuse. I bet you’ll be talking bollocks all day in the hope of closin’ a sale or summit’. Chill m8, you can surely spare a few minutes to have a beer. And it would show us how much you appreciate us giving you the seat. Now, you know our names, tell us yours.”
Reluctantly, but out of politeness, I accepted the can. and said “Cheers. I’m Gareth  by the way, Gareth Fairburn” Not really sure why I included my surname. They all looked at me as I took my first swig of the beer, and coughed “Wow, that’s got a kick.”
“Yeah, but you’ll get used to it after a few swigs”, said Billy. “I fact I’m pretty sure it’ll be your drink of choice when we’re done with you.”
“You know this is very nice of you...” I said, about to get back to working my report. But before I could look down, I saw Jimmy’s hand reach across and shut the lid on my laptop. I could see letters on the knuckles and there was a bird tattoo on the back of his hand. “C’mon fella, put your work stress aside for a bit and have a natter with us while you sup your beer.” 
Jimmy read me like a book, I was stressed. I was on my way to see a key customer; one that knew how important they were to the business I worked for and would make me jump through hoops to get the contract renewed. I knew I had to finish the report because I’d promised to email it ahead of my meeting. I was thinking about looking for another seat, when Jimmy coughed to get my attention. I looked up at him; He had that rough but good-looking appearance. Until then, I hadn’t noticed the ink on his neck, it looked like some ancient design but I couldn’t really see it properly. It was the first time I noticed the rings in his ears too. He grinned at me. I watched him swig his beer from the can. At that point I knew wasn’t heading off to a stressful meeting. He wouldn’t be selling his soul to get a contract renewed.
Jimmy leaned forward and I could smell his smokey breath. “Right, let me tell you how it’s going to be Gaz, my boi. We’ll take your stress away, but before we can help you need to tell us about who you are and what you do. Got it?” 
Billy belched several times, The belches were so loud and the other people looked up from their laptops and tablets to see where the sound was . He slammed his empty can of beer down on the table in front of me. “So m8 what do you do?”
My heart was pounding; yet suddenly, I felt that a weight lifted from my shoulders. These guys had shown an interest in me. No one normally did that, not my boss, not my customers, not my family. They wanted to help with my stress. So, I took another swig from the can - I wondered whether people really like this taste? Anyway, I began telling them was a commercial development manager.  
“You in sales then Gaz?” Billy interrupted. 
“I guess you could put it that way,” I replied 
“Keep drinking mate, it’ll help yer stress go away for now.” I did as I was told and took another swig from the can Jimmy pulled another one out of the bag and pushed it towards me. “See, we’ve got plenty. And we want to help de-stress our new m8.”
I was about to take another swig of beer when I remember, “...ah, I’ve got to do this report, or I’ll be.”
Sam jumped in. “You’ve got plenty of time.” Like the other two, he had a shaved head, but he also had a gold ring in his nose, when he talked, I could see a stud in his tongue and there were tattoos in multiple places.
“Yeah, Gaz plenty of time to do work boring shit...I bet you work all hours of the day and night. That’s why you get stressed.” 
I was about to say I did, but they spoke first. “Here you are Gaz, you can have another can with us. If you want, we can give you a stress-free life” 
“If only.” I sighed.
“Listen m8, we can make all those worries go away,” Sam was leaning up close to me now. 
I realised I was slurring my speech at this stage, “Please, my name is Gareth. Look, I’ve a lease on my flat, I’ve got car payments to make and I’m running an overdraft right now. I don’t think you can make that go away” I replied, feeling slightly sick at the amount of debt I was funding. 
“Don’t you fret about all of that,” The other two joined in, “let us take charge and your problems will be gone.” 
What could I say to that? So I smiled a knowing smile and thought I’d humour my skinhead m8s. Hemmed in the way I was, I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. I don’t really remember too much more of the conversation as my three new m8s plied me with beer; but it was me talking and they were listening. At the time I didn’t realise they were that whilst I was taking relatively big gulps of beer, they were only taking small sips from their own cans.
An announcement came on the tannoy to say the next stop would be Doncaster. Jimmy piped up, “Right lads, we’re here. Gaz, get up and we’ll show you how to live stress-free.” Through my haze, I didn’t really know what was going on. Then all of a sudden, I felt someone grab my arm, pulling me out of the seat. I was about to get my stuff when Billy came really close to me and said, “Come on Gaz, we gotta go. Now!” 
“Why do they insist on calling me Gaz?” I wondered
“[Burp] Hang on guys my name’s Gareth, and I’m going to a mee...” I was cut short by Billy again. “You’re meeting has just been cancelled, so you’re gonna be spending the day taking it easy with us. And we’re calling you Gaz, so get used to it. Let’s go.”
“What about my stuff?” I was trying to pull back so that I could grab my bag, coat and laptop. But Billy and Sam pulled me along the carriage. I tried to pull in the opposite direction, the direction of my belongings, but they were too strong for me. I had allowed myself to be marched off the train by two of my three new skinhead m8s who were going to ‘help me’ get rid of all my anxieties. 
Once off the train, I turned around to hear the audible warning that the doors were about to close started, I was watching the train doors slide into the closed position when Jimmy came up to me holding a lit cigarette. 
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Blowing the smoke in my face, he spoke with reassured confidence. “The train’s departing and as you watch it leave, think this: with it goes your old life. With it goes all of your stresses and problems.” I watched the train pull out of the station, and he was right, on board were all my possessions, including my wallet and phone. I was about to panic, but Billy and Sam were beside me, holding me. Jimmy offered me a cigarette to which I declined. He came into my face and said, “take it,” he ordered. “It’s the first step to getting rid of all that stress. We’re m8s. If yer m8s smoke, then you smoke!”
I was still under the influence of whatever beer I’d been drinking, so gingerly I took the cigarette, but I didn't know how to hold it. Billy got his lighter out and lit it. “Put it between your lips and start sucking Gaz.” So, I sucked in as the flame touched the end of the cigarette. My fingers, clamped on the little cigarette, which, as you would expect for a novice was poorly positioned in my mouth. The smoke, ashy and light, filled my mouth, made my eyes water. I coughed on every drag, even though I barely inhaled. My three skinhead m8s were beside themselves with laughter. I noticed passengers gathering for the next train, and I heard them comment about smoking being banned in stations, but new m8s didn't care. Once I’d finished the first cigarette, Jimmy handed me another. “Right, here’s what you do. Put the cigarette between your lips. When I light it, gently suck the smoke - nice ‘n’ steady into your lungs.”
I gave it a go and found this time I wasn’t spluttering everywhere. 
Jimmy continued, “now hold the smoke in yer lungs, and breathe in through your mouth.” I did as I was instructed. Jimmy reached into the pocket of his green jacked, as he was pulling out the contents, he said, “these are yours now. If we are going help alleviate you of your work stress you need to get through these. When you’ve finished that one, light up another.”
It wasn’t a request; it was an instruction.
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Sam, who’d been talking on his phone during this time chipped in, smiling at me, “nice one m8, you’ll be smoking twenty a day before you know it.” 
I just nodded, not taking much notice of what was going on as I tried to master smoking a cigarette.
Sam turned to the other two skinhead, “Tony said he’s got no appointments this morning and he can be at the studio in ten minutes. It will take us about that long to walk there with Gaz, even in the state he’s in.” 
Hearing my name, piqued my interest in their conversation, “wh... wh. where ere are we going?”
Billy jumped in, “we’re taking you to another m8′s gaff. His work is transformative. In no time at all your work worries will be a faded memory.”
Sam has started sniggering, so had Jimmy, but then he managed to say, “Before we can go to Tony’s studio, we need to stop off with Gaz at the house. Let’s get a move on, we’ve a lot to do.”
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bobgasm · 7 months
Text
kingpin ⦾ two
pairing: robert “bob” floyd x ofc!emery young word count: 2660 warnings: boxing inaccuracies, probably geographical inaccuracies,
summary: in which the Floyd’s are left in the lurch with their accountant having seemingly ‘retired’
author’s note: thanks again to @just-in-case-iloveyou for your help beta’ing this fic! i appreciate it so much 🫶🏼
one | kingpin | three
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Bob grunted as he threw all of his weight forward, his right fist connecting with the glove of his sparring partner, Coyote. The taller man shook his hand at the force Bob had exerted before sprouting off a new combination of numbers. 
One, seven, four, three, four, two, six and so on. Bob kept up with each new number, grunting as he forgot to duck on eight and Coyote clocked him in the side of the head. 
“You duck on eight,” Coyote reminded him.
“Shut up and call ‘em again,” Bob said, readying his stance and bringing his fists up in front of his face.
Coyote called out a new combination of numbers, only stopping when Bob’s phone started ringing. Bob quickly discarded one of his boxing gloves so he could answer the call from his father, wondering what could be so important at six in the morning. 
“Did you get the email from Decker?” His father, Richard, asked.
“I’m sparring with Coyote,” Bob replied, resting his phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could grab his drink. “What did he say?”
“He’s retiring. Effective immediately,” Richard replied. 
“What?” Bob asked, the bottle raised halfway to his lips. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dear Richard, I appreciate the years you have had me work alongside you and your family, but my health is failing, and with that I must resign as your accountant,” Richard read aloud. “Did he tell you about this? That he was even entertaining the thought of retiring?”
“No,” Bob confessed. “He never said anything. I assume by your tone you didn’t know anything about it?”
“Obviously not, Robert,” Richard snapped. “Do you think I’d just let him leave?”
Dominic Decker had been the Floyd’s personal accountant for more than forty years. He’d grown up with Richard and helped him with his empire along the way, keeping the IRS at bay and smoothing sales over. He knew the ins and outs of their dealings, knew who the Floyd’s were in bed with in law enforcement. Knew way too much for them to just willingly let him retire out of the blue.
There had been no discussion of retirement – they would have been able to work something out. Let someone knew take over the majority of their legitimate business dealings, while keeping Decker on retainer for the rest of it. 
Dominic Decker leaving was going to cause a huge stir in the way operations ran. Bob’s mind was reeling with the information, trying to work out a plan. He had to call Decker, obviously. He had to try and work something out with him, because there was no way some straight shooting accountant wouldn’t see right through their dealings.
Bob tore the other glove off and threw it at the wall, barking at Coyote to leave the room so he could speak to his father in private. Javy Machado, otherwise known as Coyote, paid no mind to the tantrum thrown by the younger Floyd. He was used to his outbursts, and made himself scarce. Bob would talk to him when he was ready.
“Have you tried to call him?” Bob asked.
“Straight to voicemail,” Richard replied, his voice sounding weathered. 
“I’ll track him down,” Bob said. “Find out what’s really going on. This isn’t like him.”
Richard grunted. “Your mother wants to know if you’ll be here for breakfast.”
“Of course,” Bob replied, finally taking a sip from his drink bottle. “I’ll finish up here and then be around near seven. Do you want me to bring Coyote in on this yet?”
“Not yet,” Richard answered. “Keep this in house for now, no point worrying everyone until we have some answers. Can I trust you with this?”
“Do you even need to ask?”
Bob had been taking care of his father’s problems for years. He’d been groomed to take over from his father when the time came, so a problem like this? It was well within his wheelhouse. How hard could it be to find a seventy year old accountant and get some answers?
Richard grunted again. “Good. No work talk at breakfast. Your mother wants a normal meal for once.”
“Yes, sir,”
“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”
“I’m agreeing with you,” Bob explained with a roll of his eyes. “You need to relax more, pops. I’ll finish up at the gym with Javy and shower before I come around.”
Bob ended the call and then threw a leg up and kicked out at the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. The chains rattled and the bag swung as his shin connected with it, a loud smack echoing throughout the room. He downed the last of his water before grabbing his gloves and stuffing them into his bag, opening the door and almost walking into Coyote.
“Everything go alright with your father?” Coyote asked, cocking his head at the swinging bag before meeting Bob’s gaze. 
“As well as calls with him at six am usually go,” Bob replied. “I’m hitting the shower. Breakfast with my parents.”
Coyote nodded and stepped aside, letting Bob head home. Bob stopped and refilled his bottle at the fountain on his way, making a mental ‘to do’ list for the day. At the top of his list was ‘find Dominic Decker,’ everything else could wait.
Bob’s home was an old three bedroom villa that he’d bought off an older couple nearly five years ago. Floyd Construction, their family’s building company, had tackled most of the renovations. Keeping the unique, 60’s style interior, just with modern amenities. Bob loved the aged look the home had, with the comfort of instant hot water. 
It was very low-key, which no one would ever expect for the son of Richard Floyd, who had grown one of the most fearless mob presences in the Midwest. Richard had expanded his reach to the West Coast, but he had friends and allies all over, as well as enemies.
Bob’s villa had bullet-proof glass, a panic room, and weapons storage. He wanted to be prepared in case any of their enemies ever tracked him down, but fortunately for him, their services had been unrequited so far. Still, it brought him comfort knowing he was safe without men standing guard, or living in a gated community like his parents and sister. He enjoyed the almost normalcy it brought him. 
When he arrived home, he quickly jumped in the shower to freshen up for breakfast. 
Bob hated Monday’s for no other reason than it meant the weekend was over. Though he very rarely found time to relax over the weekend, actually having to oversee four of his family’s business was tough work. And that’s without the less than legal side involved, because that work was 24/7 sometimes, depending on the deal they were negotiating. 
He was dressed casually, in jeans and a fitted tee, when he arrived at his parents’ place for breakfast. He parked beside his sister, Morgan’s, grey Range Rover and had barely set foot inside the house when Frodo, a black and grey coloured pomeranian – his mother’s precious baby – was barking and begging for pats. Bob bent down to scoop Frodo up, cradling her against his chest as he scratched her neck and walked further inside the house.
The yapping stopped as soon as she was safe in Bob’s embrace, getting the attention she desired. 
Bob had been the one who’d adopted Frodo for his mom’s birthday shortly after he moved into his own place. His mom, Heather, hadn’t wanted her son to move out just yet, but Bob had convinced her it was time by adopting a replacement. Sure, Frodo was more bark than bite, and an otherwise useless guard dog against any potential intruders, but her small size meant Heather could happily cuddle Frodo and dote on her the way she’d doted on Bob and Morgan. 
“Shoes off inside,” Heather chided, frowning as Bob stomped into the kitchen.
“Tell your dog she doesn’t get cuddles from me, then,” he replied playfully. “Look at her, she’s asleep.”
Heather’s eyes softened as she took in Bob holding Frodo carefully, her chin resting in the crook of his elbow as he pet her back. When she looked up at Bob, she clicked her tongue.
“Don’t go on the carpet, we just had it installed,” she replied, giving in to Frodo’s comfort in Bob’s arms rather than her own need for him to take his shoes off.
Morgan was busy making herself a coffee, raising a mug in a silent offer for Bob, he nodded and she got to work making him one.
“Coyote take it easy on you this morning?” She asked. “Usually you walk away with a split lip.”
“Dad called and interrupted us,” Bob replied, making sure not to mention anything. He was sure they both knew, but breakfast was sacred. It was the only sense of normal family time they still had together and Heather desperately clung to it. Who were they to ruin her mood?
Bob thanked Morgan as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him, carefully moving
“Did you tell mom about Saturday night at Feathers?” Bob asked Morgan quietly enough their mother wouldn’t overhear if Morgan hadn’t said anything yet.
Feathers was the strip club they owned, and while Bob was known more as a frequent flyer by the dancers, Morgan was the actual manager. She had the respect of all the women who danced, whereas Bob was more intimidating. He enjoyed the scene; enjoyed the attention of the dancers while he nursed a glass of scotch after a long week of work. Enjoyed being treated like a normal guy every now and then, and Feathers gave that to him.
If he had to be the boss in an establishment like this? He was sure nothing would ever get done.
“Yeah,” Morgan replied, giving Frodo a scratch behind her ears. When she looked up at Bob, her eyebrows creased together and she looked exactly like their mother. “You’re a patron, not a manager or security guard.”
“It was resolved before Coop even arrived,” Bob said. “You’re welcome.”
“And what happens when he goes to the cops wanting to press charges?” Heather replied. “If you’re not employed, you don’t intervene. We don’t need the cops poking around more than they already do.”
“Sorry, mom,” Bob apologised. 
“Garcia is on the take,” Richard replied. “Even if the guy did go to the police, he’d lose whatever we needed him to.”
“Mickey Garcia is under investigation because of things he’s conveniently ‘lost’ for us,” Heather chided. “He asked us to not initiate any contact while he tried to get himself cleared. He’s better use to us alive as a cop than dead as a convict. Now, stop talking about work and the like, and let’s have breakfast.”
“What are we supposed to talk about then?” Bob asked. “The weather?”
“Probably nice weather wherever the fuck Decker disappeared to,” Richard mumbled just loud enough for Morgan and Bob to hear. They shared a look as Bob set Frodo down in her fluffy dog bed before removing his shoes to make his mother happy. 
When he finally joined the table, Heather was talking about local gossip. There was a food drive happening within the next few weeks that she was helping with, as well as the local high school fundraising to send a group of seniors to Europe. 
Bob tuned it out, he didn’t mean to, but high school sucked for him. Morgan had been the popular girl who everyone loved, while he was a lot more shy and reserved. Morgan had tried to include him with her friend group, but he’d hated it. Hated feeling the need to impress other kids just for social status, when no one knew the kind of shit he was doing with his father. 
He’d been scared to let anyone get close enough to him to realise who he was. Who his family was. 
So he chose to be a loner during his time at high school. The only person he’d remembered was Mickey Garcia, and that was because he’d become a cop. Bob could use his eyes on the inside, and he had years worth of shit to lord over him to get his way. Once Mickey was on the take, he started a new file on his involvement. 
If the Floyd family empire ever came crumbling down, half the fucking city would go down with them.
Bob only tuned back into the conversation as Richard signaled his opinion on the Decker mess. Obvious that he’d missed part of the conversation, Morgan rolled her eyes. 
“We need a new accountant, plain and simple,” Bob stated. “We have staff to pay and suppliers to keep happy. I think we should advertise. Get someone in for legit reasons and slowly pull them in on the rest.”
He’d been thinking about it since his father told him of Decker’s retirement. They needed a plan in the meantime. While they could use cash for the illegitimate deals, they needed to keep the books straight. Keep everything ticking over nicely so the IRS didn’t come knocking.
Richard mulled the idea over. Morgan and Heather shared a look – it was his final word at the end of the day. They’d all obey, whether they agreed or not. For now, things were under wraps. They wouldn’t be for much longer, but everyone knew not to air the family’s dirty laundry for the entire corporation. 
Hell, Bob learnt the hard way. He still bore the scars.
“At least until we can speak to Decker. We might be able to keep him on a retainer for everything else. It’ll be less work, which he would obviously enjoy if he’s still committed to retiring. Just an idea, obviously, but we need a plan.”
Richard grunted and dropped his cutlery onto his plate. “Advertise the position. If anyone asks about Dominic, they can talk to me.”
Bob nodded, knowing better than to agree with a ‘yes, sir’ for fear of being reprimanded for his sarcasm again. “I should show face at the office, keep things ticking over smoothly.”
Richard agreed, and Bob caught his mother audibly sighing in relief. 
“How’s the restaurant progressing?” Heather asked. 
If they were going to talk business, they were going to talk about their latest build. She knew better than to put her foot down – Richard had a volatile temper. The last thing she wanted was her children witnessing their father choking their mother at the breakfast table, so she turned the focus onto something else. 
Even Morgan shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 
Bob filled her in on the latest developments. The concrete slab had been poured last week and they were working on the framing structure, if all things were going to plan. He left out the part where the suppliers were supposed to be paid first thing Monday morning – this morning. He’d have it handled by the end of the day if Decker hadn’t processed the payments, but it meant he was in for a long stint in the office. It meant he should probably be there right now taking a look at things.
Morgan picked up on his curt wording and asked him if he could check on the wages when he got in – a distraction and the out he needed. Bob rose to his feet and started clearing his plate. 
“I got it, hon,” Heather assured him. Bob still took the time to leave the plate on the counter before he gave his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Call me later and I’ll drop dinner off if you need it.”
“Thanks, mom.”
He shook his father’s hand and gave Morgan a fist bump before hastily making his exit. When he got in his car, he blew out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Decker?”
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