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loquaciousquark · 7 years

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8th August. Genuinely cool today, glorious! Won’t last

I keep having to go to the keep for sundry Champion paperwork ephemera, and I noticed last week there’s a stain right at the bottom of the steps. It looks brown and stubborn despite the scrub-marks on the stone around it—in fact, it’s where Dumar’s head landed, and now that I’ve seen it I can’t stop seeing it. I asked Aveline, and she said she’s noticed it too. She tried to get at it herself with lye while I was out, but she said it wouldn’t budge. I didn’t even know stone could take up blood like that... although I suppose Kirkwall would be the place prone to that kind of thing.

There’s still no news of a new Viscount. Bran’s running the place as best he can (which, as it happens, would be a good deal better if he’d stop wasting so much time rolling his eyes at me every time he sees me), but Lady Ashbridge said on Pelarie’s visit last week that there’s rumors Meredith’s just going to run the city instead. Surely they won’t let that happen, though--how much power does one person need?

Then again...it’s Kirkwall.

I should talk to Varric.

In other news, took Sebastian to dinner the other day as thanks for accompanying me to the ball. Went to the Lime Pavilion, which has a twenty-sov minimum plate, but with Varric at the helm all my money does these days is make lots of tinier little baby monies, so I might as well get some use out of it. He had beef that came in a glass bowl with gold around the edges, and I had fish that was cut in the shape of a fish. Made it even worse that it was the most delicious thing I’ve had in months.

Spent the whole meal quietly panicking about which of my three forks to use. Serves me right for trying to cater to royalty’s nobler instincts. Sebastian covered for me well, but I’d just as soon sit with Isabela off the docks, swigging green liquor from a cracked bottle.

Haven’t heard from her even once since Cloudreach. I hope she’s alive.

16th August. Light showers all day, just enough to curl my hair into a right rat’s nest

I think I’m going to set Pelarie up with my next-door neighbor. Jule’s clever and kind and not quite as flat beneath her mother’s foot, and she’s got a great deal more in common with Pelarie than I do. Forgot to get a bit of drake ichor out from behind my ears the other day and Pelarie turned so green she might have grown gills. Her mother didn’t care for it either. Need to stop being jealous over people with mothers Besides, even if Jule’s not as flashy a catch she’s likely got a much better life expectancy.

Meant that to be funny, not bitter. Ah, well.

23rd August. Cooler again, a bit salty with some northerly winds off the Coast

Had a nice moment today I didn’t expect. I was sitting out back under the yew tree, trying to see if I felt any different with only one kidney, when I heard the back door open and out came Sandal with a bit of wood and a carving knife. He didn’t say anything, just sat next to me on the stone bench, and quietly began shaping it into something small, something with wings. It was...

It was rather lovely, actually.

Made up for this miserable All Soul’s Day at the beginning of August. Everyone dancing on their toes around Mother, as if I might turn to glass at the slightest memory of her. Can’t help but feel Isabela would have

Sandal hummed something I almost recognized while he was sitting with me. Then Bodahn came out and that moment was gone, but in favor of one just as pleasant, because he sat with us on the bench too (the benefit of a wide bench and two dwarvish sets of hips, I suppose), and with only the teensiest bit of coaxing he began telling us (me?) about some of his travels with the Hero of Ferelden.

Some days I wish I were her. Or--at least I wish I had her enemies. It must have been so nice knowing what you fought was evil through and through.

24th August. Still cool

Dreamed last night that I was trying to save Mother from the foundry, but she kept turning into darkspawn. Might know they’re evil, but that doesn’t help the horror at the twisted, slavering teeth. At least Meredith is people-shaped.

Ugh. Can’t get rid of these chills. I wonder if Varric has anything that needs doing.

2nd Kingsway. Saw the first orange leaf today and nearly cried from joy

Went to the Gallows this morning to talk to Solivitus. Had some harlot’s blush I thought he might like, which he did, but for the first time I found myself not entirely at ease with the way the templars’ eyes followed me the whole trip. I hadn’t been there since the Arishok, and Maker but was I glad Fenris and Aveline came with me. I don’t think they’d try anything without Meredith’s say-so, but this was the first time I felt that little tingling what-if in the back of my skull telling me I’d better watch my hide.

We’d be packing up tonight, if this were Lothering.

Anyway, while I was there I saw a girl that looked terribly familiar darting about between some of those market stands. Turns out she’s Pelarie’s little sister--not sixteen yet--who got caught making inkwells tip over from the back of the room while she was away at school. The Ashbridges called some favors and had her placed here, where they could visit.

More than I thought of Lady Ashbridge, even if I wouldn’t send my most hated feather boa into their care. (Meant the Gallows templars, but to be quite honest the Ashbridges too)

Pelarie says she’s been trying to send their grandmother’s necklace to her, but she’s afraid they’ll take it away. Jule (very kind about me crashing their tea) said she’d heard Gallows apprentices are allowed very few personal possessions, but she knew a family who used to send their son fritters and preserves and things all the time, so there might be some strings to pull if I can find them.

Well. What’s this damned title for, if not string-pulling?

8th Kingsway. Brisk and with the faintest smell of those crisp autumn apples from the cart down the street

Went to the Gallows again today. Saw Cullen, who sighs when I come into his office but at least doesn’t reach for a guardswhistle, and told him I wanted Pelarie’s sister to be given her family necklace. He argued with me for a good bit about keeping apprentices’ focus sharp on their studies and the risk of reminders of family ties compromising their emotional blah blah blah blah.

I said I’d work on that rumor about the blood mage cult springing up in Darktown if he’d let her keep it, and he said yes.

My skin has been crawling since I left that place, and that was almost three hours ago.

What if that were me? What if that were Bethany?

Later

For the first time in my life, I thought to myself “thank goodness she died first” after I wrote that line above and it’s rattled me so badly that I can’t

I hate

how could

Maker, I hate

15th Kingsway. One last damned heat wave. The Maker is mocking me. Or Andraste is instead, and I’ve just been rejected by every higher power who ever thought twice about sending this city even the faintest zephyr of relief

Asked Toby today if he wanted another dog in the house. He gave me the archest look I’ve ever seen on a mabari’s face and stalked in high dudgeon to the back garden, where he very deliberately pissed on the stone bench. Haven’t offended him that badly since I tied him all over in yellow ribbon and asked him to dance the Remigold with me.

I’d forgotten how drunk I was at that party

Anders and Merrill and I are going out to the southern side of Sundermount tomorrow. Anders needs elfroot and more spindleweed, and Merrill thinks there might be a supply of ironbark somewhere there she can use to create or work on or something for her arulin...oh, hells. How the Void do you spell that word?

I was considering asking Varric for a fourth just in case, as Aveline has another (and another and another and another) evening with Donnic planned. For as much as she went through getting to this city in the first place, I hate to take her away from the one shining light she’s found in it so far.

On the other hand, she does have our own glorious friendship as a second equally bright shining light. Maybe I can call that in as the cheap bargaining tactician I am.

Later.

Aveline said no.

Varric said no.

Sebastian said no.

Merrill said “arulin’holm.”

Fenris said yes, then no when he heard who was going, and then yes again when I said Anders they would probably be so interested in their own collecting that Anders they would hardly have time to needle.

Also, I begged.

16th Kingsway. I am cursed beyond the ken of mortal memory

We’re stranded on the damned mountain.

It was cloudy when we left and it only got darker, but everyone said to keep going, we could beat the rain before it got bad. Ha! Had to take a narrow path to get to this ironbark of Merrill’s, and while we were up the cliffs a freak storm came from nowhere and washed the whole path to a great lot of boulders and rotten logs. Stopped raining not twenty minutes later, but the damage was already done. Merrill’s been looking for another way down but it’s almost dusk and I think we’ll have to camp.

I keep expecting Fenris and Anders to be either furious or intolerably snippy, but every time I accidentally make eye contact (despite the enormous effort I’m exerting to avoid exactly that), they both seem perfectly cheerful. Well, as cheerful as they get. Anders even smiled at some comment Fenris made about how once when he slept outside, a handful of territorial crows chased him right out of a tree.

Almost said it could be worse. At least Merrill’s managed to get a fire going—everything’s soaked to the bone.

24th Kingsway. Still cold, damp, foggy, grey

Made it home from Sundermount, obviously, and all four of us have the most glorious head colds to show for it. Merrill and I ended up having to carve through a good deal of the detritus from the landslide with magic, which even Fenris didn’t blink at given the alternative was another night in open air. Cold, frosty open air, with occasional winds sharp enough to split a nosehair.

I was strongly inclined to see what Anders’s healing could do for this, but he says a head cold won’t kill any of us and it’s good to let the body fight on its own occasionally, which sounded so much like my father I left his clinic in perfect childlike resentment.

That was yesterday. Surely if I tell him I’m dying today he won’t mind if I touch myself up, just a little. My nose is both so stuffy I can’t breathe and running so badly I’ve taken to shoving napkins up it all morning.

How blightedly unfair. All this nonsense and I can’t even breathe to complain about it properly.

25th Kingsway. See previous, bloody unchanged, and no I’m not upset about it, why do you ask

Maker and all his holy works, but Fenris is pitiful. Never have I ever seen an elf laid so low by a little fever and a stopped nose. I went over this morning with some of Orana’s father’s soup just in case, but he was cocooned so deep in his blankets all I could see was the very tip of one dark, pointed ear. Then he told me to go away with the saddest little sneeze right in the middle of a word.

Made him finish the soup and drink an entire glass of water. He called me a Tevinter word that he claims means “sadist,” but he did at least un-cocoon long enough to say goodbye.

I keep wondering if he’s ever had anyone bother to care he was sick before—at least, that he remembers. Somehow I doubt it.

26th Kingsway, somewhere around midnight, I don’t know

Fenris’s fever worsened all day today, until by late afternoon I couldn’t rouse him properly. Anders came by around dinner and must have seen the panic in my face, because the first thing he told me after examining him was that he’d be fine. He left a vial of something thick—I recognized the elfroot and I think embrium, but to be honest I was watching Fenris struggle to turn over—and said he should have a teaspoon every hour until breakfast tomorrow. He said he’d be fine. We just have to wait for the fever to take its course.

Flames, he looks awful, even asleep. Grey in the face and he’s got a chesty cough that sounds wet. The first time it happened I had a violent flash to Carver in the Deep Roads and nearly upset the lunch tray. Anders and I both worked what healing we could, but there’s only so much to be done for something like this. Maker, my father’s death taught me that, and that was almost ten years ago.

Anders said he’d be fine. He didn’t even stay, which of itself is enough to tell me there’s nothing to worry about.

If Fenris feels half as bad as he looks, he must feel like death.

Later. Early?

Failed to occur to me that in the absence of pinned candles, the only way to make sure Fenris gets one of these doses every hour is to stay up myself.

Not much gets by my eagle’s eyes these days, but I suppose even the most avid hunter misses one once in a while.

3rd bell

Hawk’s eyes. Damn!

4th bell and a bit

Fenris woke up this time, just for a few minutes. He’s not really been present since afternoon, so it was...it was a relief to see lucidity. Tired, too, but one must make allowances here and there.

He was enough himself to complain about the sourness of the potion. I told him if he felt able to be picky about the taste he ought to be able to take another cup of soup and some water, and he called me the Tevinter sadist again.

He just went back to sleep, but he still looks terrible. His breathing is better, though.

Almost 5th bell, still dark as pitch

First time I’ve ever been truly glad I live so close to this blasted elf. Was able to run home and dig out some spare linens from one of Orana’s closets before I had to wake him again. He’s sweated his pillow through and his sheets are soaked. If he’s still improving on this next dose I’ll roll him off long enough to get the fresh sheets down.

Half past, still darker than light outside, though the horizon’s fading a bit grey

He just went back to sleep. Got the new sheets on—he didn’t understand why at first, which...I didn’t know what to say to that except that I knew he’d feel acres better on clean, dry bedclothes, and I intended to change them whether he was willing or not.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it was plain he was relieved to be out of that damp mess.

I was too, if I’m being honest.

Anyway, he wasn’t eager to go back to sleep after, despite the potion putting him just a touch loopy. We chatted about...oh, nothing of consequence, only Toby and apples and Varric’s latest pamphlet about the Championship ceremony and how the weight of that iron circlet has bent better heads than mine, and only time will tell how I carry its burden, etc, etc. Sometimes I wish Varric lent a little less effort to dramatic irony and a little more to my public credentiality. Credentials?

Talked a bit about Stinton and Pelarie and the rest, too. I told him I was doing well enough with their mothers, but that Lady Ashbridge might resent me pushing Pelarie into the arms of another woman right under her nose. Ah, but such is the uneven course of love.

He asked me about his sister twice near the end, which was how I knew the potion was kicking in at last. I had nothing I could tell him either way, and the second time I’m not even certain he was talking to me.

He asked if she was real. Maker, I wish I knew.

It’s not right that no one but me cares if Fenris is uncomfortable in illness-damp sheets.

Almost seventh bell, flames

Dozed off in the chair with the broken foot just before sixth bell. Didn’t come close to waking until a marvelously inconsiderate sunbeam punched me right in the eyes over Fenris’s windowsill, at which point I dropped my elbow off the armrest and gave myself whiplash trying not to tumble from the chair altogether.

Other arm stayed put, though, and Fenris didn’t even stir, which is the only reason I know he took hold of my hand while I was asleep—and possibly while he was asleep, which is the only reason I refuse to read more into it. His fingers were laced through mine, and the lyrium was humming ever so faintly, just enough that I could feel the—the shiver as I let him go.

I could have stayed there for hours, I think, if I hadn’t pulled the Void out of my neck sleeping sideways in that chair.

His color’s almost normal again, though he’s still a trifle wan. Thank you, Andraste. Not that I was worried.

I wasn’t worried. Anders said he’d be fine. I just wanted--someone this sick ought to have a friend take care of them until they’re well. Everyone deserves at least that much.

Ah, I think he’s beginning to wake up.

#fenris #hawke #fenris/hawke #dragon age #quark writes #hawke's journal tag #one thing long flights offer is uninterrupted writing time #on the other hand #suuuper tired on this #still! hope you like it!#i also got half the next one started so don't faint from shock if there's another one of these in a few days #otherwise this one would have been 4500 words long #which as much as i like long chapters is probs still a little much

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oumaheroes · 3 years

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Old Age

Word Count: 1772

Characters: Canada, England, and France

---

There were some days where Canada truly felt his age.

Most of the time how old he was didn’t really hit him. He happily pottered around work or home as easily as he imagined most humans his physical age did: running for a train he was almost certainly going to miss, tripping down the last few steps on a flight of stairs because he was staring at his phone and wasn’t watching his feet, or spilling coffee on himself when he missed his mouth taking a sip.

His colleagues, despite knowing who he was, spoke to him as an equal and Canada could happily pass weeks, or sometimes even months, without consciously being aware of how old he was- or even really what he was.

It was easy to forget, surrounded by humans every day, that he was not one. His ministers and co-workers spoke to him without questioning his position that high in government- that was admittedly unusual for a face as young as his. Occasionally, he’d bump into a young intern or graduate who didn’t know him and he’d have a nice, genuine interaction before a look of shock crossed their face when someone high up greeted him respectfully. It was a helpful, yet stark, reminder.

But overall, when you were surrounded by people who did know it never really hit him that his presence or job was something he took for granted and the passing of time was something he didn’t really take notice of. It was normal. He was there, he was called Matthew, sometimes, or Canada, but both were his name and the potency of what he was, was surprisingly quite forgettable.

Of course, what he was was never something he could completely avoid. Someone would mention a time, or a date, or a thing that had happened and Canada would immediately feel the distance widen between them all as it was made obvious that, to everyone else, what they were discussing was history. It was something passed, something that had happened to other people too long ago to properly connect with on an emotional level. An old battle, an old political bill; something that someone long long dead had said or written that now remained only as faint ink on curling, dusty paper.

But to Canada it was there in his head, the words clear and as easy to recall as if they were spoken to him yesterday. A benefit of nationhood, he supposed, to be fully aware of things that had political consequence, to be able to trace the makings of himself back through time and see how they spiralled and grew.

History wasn’t just words, to him, or mere events. Such things made up the foundations of himself, the building blocks of his life and he felt them thrum through him like a song, twisting and moulding him into being.

Becoming aware of his age and the difference between himself and humans were when Canada really felt the weight of the years he carried. Over three hundred of them made themselves known, hanging off his shoulders and settling down to his legs to hold him up. It was easy to briefly forget how old he was, but that knowledge was impossible to rid himself of entirely- Canada was made up of history, of the bones of time and they cracked together as he moved through his life to remind him of who he was with every step.

He had burned, he had bled, he had died. He had seen.

That was the point of him. To watch to passage of time and remember it, to hold the memory of his people within him and use their voices and experiences to push for the continuation of the future. Their future.

Canada was his people, was made by his people for his people and as he sat amongst them, discussing old old moments long gone with humans who could only read and dream of them, the distinction of what he was would hit him like a thunderbolt.

It was heavy, to be so old. To have seen so many things, to have lived through so much. To be what he was.

He had just had one of those instances. He and his cabinet had spent the entire morning discussing the founding of their nation and its independence in order to plan for the yearly celebrations and Canada had suffered through the whole time feeling every second of his age press against him.

When talks finally drew to a close and he could escape, Canada dragged his ancient body towards the centre of town. England and France were visiting, along with the rest of the UN, and he’d promised to meet them both for lunch before they too were pulled into an afternoon of far more internationally inclined meetings.

If he were honest with himself, what Canada really wanted to do was go home and watch TV; switch his brain off so that he could numb himself with bad reality shows. It was a good pastime that he enjoyed with guilty abandon and one that he would much rather have preferred doing. However, he’d made a promise and Canada was nothing if not a nation of his word.

Sadly.

England and France were already there when he arrived, tucked away in a corner table. France glanced up as the door jingled with his entrance, waving him over with a smile. Canada nodded at the waiter who motioned him through and settled himself down in a chair at their table between them.

‘Good afternoon,’ France greeted him with his usual cheek kisses, hair tickling Canada’s nose as he leant in close, ‘you arrived just on time, I was about to throw Arthur out of the window.’

‘You wish,’ England looked up from his phone and shot him a quick, but warm smile, ‘Hello Matthew.’

Canada’s heart sank. He really wasn’t in the mood to play mediator today, ‘Dare I ask why?’ he said, turning to France.

France gave an effortless shrug and settled back in his seat, ‘Do I really need a reason?’

‘Yes.’

Both England and Canada spoke at once and France gave a sly grin, ‘I won’t darling, you don’t deserve the trouble,’ he patted Canada’s knee soothingly and politely ignored England’s muttered “as if you could” from across the table, ‘but the idiot seems to think he’s correct about something which he very much is not.’

‘Oh, of course,’ England retorted immediately, ‘you can’t remember properly but I’m the one who’s wrong.’

‘Yes.’

‘No.’

‘What is it?’ Canada interjected quickly. The waiter who had greeted him at the door was shooting their table looks of alarm out of the corner of his eye and Canada smiled at him apologetically, ‘Maybe I could help.’

To his surprise, England and France shared a look, something unspoken passing between them, ‘You weren’t about yet,’ offered France, sounding apologetic.

‘When was it?’

‘Oh, not too long ago,’ England waved a hand airily, ‘only six hundred years or so.’

Canada blinked, ‘Six hundred?’

‘Or there abouts,’ England frowned again, ‘I’m not sure when exactly, but I know France is wrong.’

France scoffed, ‘You can’t remember when it is, but you know I’m wrong?’

‘Obviously. I know it was about fifty years after Agincourt, I’m not sure of exactly when but-‘

‘Well, there you go! You’ve muddled it up with something else.’

‘I haven’t! You held that ball, the one with the fucking shit tonne of flowers everywhere, and were displaying those golden goblet things you were so damn proud of and I gave you that stupid painting-‘

‘No!’ France interjected angrily, ‘You took that painting and then were made to give it back.’

‘I didn’t! It was my bloody painting- Jesus fucking Christ,’ England held his head in his hands, ‘that’s not the point, I’m using that as a reference-‘

‘Yes well, pick a reference that has a grain of reality in it, would you?’

England opened his mouth to argue back again but Canada didn’t hear him, by now long tuned out of the conversation.

Only. Only six hundred years ago. Canada couldn’t even imagine that amount of time, couldn’t imagine having lived so long that six hundred years was considered to be a mere drop in the ocean.

But to these two, it was. England and France had both been alive for millennia, had known each other for that long and had been alive without each other for even longer before that.

Sitting next to them, his own existence suddenly felt like nothing, felt insignificant in the history of mankind. What had Canada seen, that these two had not? He couldn’t even begin to imagine. Three hundred years felt more than enough.

It hit him, then, how long most of their kind had lived. He’d realised this before, of course, but still the comprehension about the difference in age between him and most of the world left him dumbstruck anew. Fuck, what about China; Lord only knew how old he really was. There wasn’t a point in history that it didn’t seem as though China hadn’t been around to experience, even from across the world. Whole empires and civilisations had risen and fallen and most of the nations Canada knew had personally been involved in them somehow. It was astounding to consider all the people who had lived throughout the centuries that, to Canada, felt like nothing more than characters in a story.

What on earth was three hundred years to age like that? To history that felt so ancient to him, so disconnected that it didn’t really even feel real, but that was as normal to most nations as his own history was.

How many years would Canada have to live until three hundred was something he would describe as ‘only’?

‘Are you alright, lad?’ Canada was jolted out of his spiral to find England looking at him with concern, a hand on his arm.

‘Yeah, sorry,’ he shook his head, ‘it’s just- you’re both so old.’

England coloured and France laughed, ‘We’re not old,’ England jabbed a thumb in France’s direction, ‘Well, he is.’

‘It is more about how you feel and act, dear, that’s more important and in that regard, you are far older than I.’ France yelped suddenly as England kicked him under the table, ‘Does the truth sting, Arthur? Is that why you felt the need to vent your frustrations on me?’

‘As if I need more of a reason-‘

They began again, in earnest, but Canada let them continue uninterrupted, silently and guiltily enjoying the feeling of being a child once more.

---

AN:

I must admit that not much thought or plot went into this. I wanted to write something short and somewhat silly as a treat for spending most of yesterday editing. Ideally, one day I want to take this concept and explore it more with greater care and detail because I think it’s something a newer nation like Canada would really struggle with.

300 years is a long time, and I’m sure it must be hard for him to feel that age and then go and speak to anyone from the Old World and be met with the reality of how truly old their kind can be. Canada is a baby, despite the centuries he has collected for himself, and I feel like there would always be that conflict within him about how old he feels around humans comapred to how old he is next to other nations. Maybe this idea is best explored as a headcannon rather than a fic, but I had a fun time writing it.

Anyway, that is my tuppence worth- thank you for reading!

#aph canada #hws canada #aph england #hws england #aph france #hws france #hetalia fanfic #hetalia #aph #hws #hetalia fanfiction #matthew williams #francis bonnefoy #arthur kirkland #my writing #i will put fruk into literally anything i swear #i cannot be stopped

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amosratnam · 3 years

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7 Ways to Sleep Better When You’re Stressed

Sleep is an Antidote for Stress

Use Journaling to Relieve Stress at Bedtime

Three Apps that Help Stressed Out People Sleep Like a Baby

Use Meditation to Overcome Stress and Fall Asleep Faster

Bedtime Routines that Combat Stress

Tips that Help You Stress Less and Sleep Better

Restless Sleeper? Stop Doing These Three Things!

Sleep is an Antidote for Stress

Sadly, stress is part of life. At some point, everyone experiences stress. Physical, emotional and other types of stress take their toll on our minds and bodies. That’s why sleep is so important. Sleep is an antidote for stress.

Our bodies use sleep to restore and recover. While we sleep our bodies carry out important restorative functions. Our brains rid themselves of toxins and sort out the events that happened throughout the day. Our bodies repair and restore themselves as well. It’s pretty amazing how much our minds and bodies remain active even when we are sleeping.

Stress affects the mind and body

Stress takes its toll on our minds and bodies. Stress causes the release of cortisol, a powerful hormone that triggers the fight or flight response in our bodies. This hormone can cause overwhelming sensations in the body, raise blood pressure, and cause anxious feelings. Sound sleep helps reduce the levels of cortisol and balance the chemistry in the brain and body. Chronic stress without adequate sleep can raise your risk for heart disease and stroke.

Stress affects our mood

Stress affects our mood. When we are stressed, we tend to over or under-react. This can lead to an onslaught of problems. Living in a heightened sense of worry or anxiety can result in eating too much or too little, emotional outbursts or withdrawal, or a wide range of other behaviors. After a long day of stress, the best thing to regulate mood swings is a restful night’s sleep.

Stress affects our relationships

Stress changes how we engage with other people. Being worried, anxious, or overwhelmed makes it harder to be present and engage positively with other people. From co-workers to family, stress can fracture relationships if we aren’t careful. Being able to unplug from people and take some time for yourself can help. Sleeping provides a significant amount of time to recharge and get ready to face the world again. Even the act of relaxing in bed prior to sleeping can aid in rebuilding your energy and make it easier to get along with others.

Sleep is the antidote for stress

Sleep is a wonderful remedy for a stressful day. Relaxing in the comfort of your bed and letting go of the worries of the world can give you new perspective, renew your spirit and energy. Sleep can be the escape you need from the pressures going on and give you the uninterrupted time to recover. Making sleep a priority, including naps when necessary, can help your mind and body recover from stress and manage difficult situations easier.

Use Journaling to Relieve Stress at Bedtime

Stress comes from everywhere. Worries abound in all areas of life. Fretting about work, family, and obligations can become overwhelming. Running everything through your mind without an outlet for stress can make it hard to sleep. When you need to rest, your mind gets hyper focused on stressful things making it hard to fall asleep. During the day it can be easy to push worries down and think about other things but it’s much harder to distract ourselves when we are lying in bed trying to end our day.

There are a lot of ways to relieve stress and rid our minds of worries, one of the most effective is journaling. Journaling works because it

Focuses your thoughts

Is a creative outlet

Gets thoughts out of your head

Creates an opportunity for problem solving

Journaling before bed can help reduce stress and make it easier to fall asleep. Here’s why-

Journaling helps you get a handle on your thoughts- Journaling helps you focus your thoughts and get them out on paper. Instead of ruminating on the issues and stressing, journaling helps organize thoughts and process them. It makes it easier to better understand the roots of your stress and focus your thoughts rather than continuously running them over in your mind.

Journaling uses a different part of the brain- The act of writing and journaling uses the creative side or your brain. This can help ease stress. Depending on the type of journaling you do it may help raise the dopamine in your brain chemistry reducing stress. Journaling doesn’t have to be limited to writing. It can be as creative as you’d like including, but not limited to, coloring, doodling, writing poetry, or any other form of expression.

Journaling removes thoughts from your head- Writing things down tricks your brain into dumping them and leaving them on the page. Journaling can help get thoughts out of your head so your mind can wander on to something else. Psychologically, your brain believes that the thoughts are categorized on the page and don’t need as much intense focus anymore so your mind can begin to relax.

Journaling triggers problem solving- In the same way clearing your mind in the shower leads to epiphanies, journaling can trigger problem solving. Worrying about stress in your mind clutters it with negative thoughts and anxiety. The process of journaling triggers our natural problem-solving skills and makes it easier to find solutions.

Journaling before bed can help rid your mind of stress and leave your psyche feeling calm. This can help your mind shut down easily and drift into REM sleep where the mind and body can repair and heal. Practice journaling before bedtime to help your mind release the worries of the day and prepare for a great night’s rest.

Three Apps that Help Stressed Out People Sleep Like a Baby

Stress has a way of making itself known when we want to go to sleep. Somehow, we can shove our stressful thoughts aside most of the day but the moment we try to clear our minds and go to sleep, BAM- stressful thoughts overwhelm us. There are times when it’s really hard to clear our head and go to sleep. Thankfully, there are ways to help.

Our smartphones are never very far away. They can be useful when it comes to reducing stress and helping us sleep. iPhone and Android have apps that help us better understand our sleep cycle and help us clear our minds and sleep better. Here are three apps worth trying.

Headspace-The Headspace app’s tag line is Be Kind to your Mind. This mantra is perfect when stress tries to rob you of your sleep. This app has a variety of benefits including help to assess why you may not be sleeping, functions for power napping, and being mindful. The app is free for basics and charges a monthly fee for advanced features.

Calm- The Calm app is one of the highest rated apps for relief from anxiety and stress. This app has a wide variety of meditations ranging from beginner to advanced and subscribers can choose how long and what type of meditation they prefer. This app also has an option for nature sounds which can be great as white noise for stress relief. This app is free and does offer some in-app purchases.

Dare- The Dare app is unique because its focus is helping you face your anxiety and stressors rather than distract you from them. This unique app helps you move through anxiety using guided imagery you can focus on while the audio portion helps you sit comfortably with your stress. This can help you overcome and move on from stress which can lead to better sleep and less recurring anxiety. This app is free with in-app purchases available.

Using your smart phone to help manage stress and sleep better makes sense. Having resources available that guide you through relaxing and letting go of worries is an asset at bedtime. Try various apps to see which ones meet your needs. Be willing to switch it up and try new apps when one feels too familiar, the variety will help. Be willing to invest in the small fees to upgrade and unlock the bigger and better features too.

Use Meditation to Overcome Stress and Fall Asleep Faster

Meditation is an ancient practice that uses mindfulness to center thoughts, reduce stress, and help calm the mind. Meditation emphasizes focus and self-awareness to rid the mind of stress. Meditating prior to bedtime can help prepare your mind and body for sleep and get control of stressful thinking.

If you haven’t experienced meditation in the past it can seem intimidating, weird, or even boring. Starting a meditation practice may feel awkward in the beginning, but soon you’ll experience the benefits first-hand and sing the praises of meditation. Learning to meditate is like working a muscle. The more often you use it, the easier it becomes.

Here are some simple steps to meditate at bedtime and reduce stress and sleep well

Step 1. Commit to the practice- Making the decision to meditate is the first and most important step. Since meditation gets easier over time, committing to using it is important. It may feel strange at first but stick with it.

Step 2. Choose the type of meditation that works for you- There are three general types of meditation- mindfulness, concentration, and guided meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is focusing on your breath and body and being keenly aware of how you feel inside your body and how your body is functioning in the moment. The goal during mindful meditation is to replace any wandering thoughts with mindfulness of what your body is experiencing instead.

Concentration meditation is focused on a word, thought, or phrase. This meditation may include focusing on an object or repeating a mantra audibly or inside your mind.

Guided meditation includes listening to an audio that helps guide you into stress relief and sleep. The instructor may focus on physical aspects of your body or may share a story and guide you through the details.

Step 3. Extend the length of meditation until you experience relief- In the beginning you may not be able to meditate for very long. That’s normal. Thoughts wander and stress has a way of overriding intentions. Don’t judge yourself or worry that you aren’t doing it right. Over time you can conquer your wandering mind and help it focus on your meditation practice and achieve relief and peace as you fall asleep.

Meditation is a wonderful tool to use to reduce stress throughout the day. It is especially helpful before bed if stress tries to rob you of your sleep. Find a meditation style that works for you and commit to trying it for a month and you’ll discover an amazing ability to regulate your thoughts and enjoy restful sleep.

Bedtime Routines that Combat Stress

One of the biggest reasons people experience stress at bedtime is failure to plan for a restful night’s sleep. Like most things, failure to plan is a plan to fail. It seems simple enough, get in bed, turn off the lights, close our eyes, and fall asleep. If only it were that simple. The key to getting to sleep is prepare for sleepahead of time.

Having a bedtime routine can help combat stress and prep our minds and bodies for rest. The hour before you go to sleep is as important as the moment your head hits the pillow. Here’s why-

The activities you engage in leading up to bed affect your sleep

What you do prior to going to bed can make or break your ability to fall asleep. Engaging in screen time, drinking caffeine, watching emotionally intense content, discussing sensitive topics, and other activities can trigger you to be more active when you should be winding down.

Prior to bed it’s best to do activities that promote and trigger your natural sleep rhythm. Drinking decaffeinated hot tea, taking a hot bath or shower, reading. Listening to meditative content, wearing comfortable clothing, and prepping for bed all promote restful sleep.

Your circadian rhythm affects your sleep cycle

Our bodies are designed with an internal sleep cycle. The circadian rhythm is a natural biological process in our bodies that helps us discern night from day. We have an innate wind down window where our bodies shift towards sleepiness and ready themselves to go to bed. Disrupting this cycle with staying up late or overstimulation can cause significant stress and make it much harder to fall asleep and wake refreshed.

You can help keep your rhythm in sync by setting a routine bedtime and sticking to it. Sleep training your body to sleep and wake at specific times can help manage and override stressful thoughts at bedtime because your body will be used to going to sleep on a schedule. Once your body is accustomed to falling asleep and waking at specific times you likely won’t need an alarm clock nor have trouble falling asleep…even when you have stress.

Create a routine that works for you

Creating a bedtime routine that works for you will help you consistently get ready for bed and fall asleep with very little effort. Everyone is different, what one person needs to wind down may look different than someone else. Develop bedtime habits that help calm, relax, and destress prior to bed and you’ll experience an easier time falling asleep and have more restful nights.

Tips that Help You Stress Less and Sleep Better

Going to bed stressed won’t help you fall asleep. If anything, being stressed leads to insomnia and a horrible night’s sleep. Doing what you can to reduce or eliminate stress before bed can make a big difference. Activities like journaling before bedtime and having a bedtime routine can help, but there are other ways to reduce stress so you can sleep better too.

Top tips that help you stress less

Stress comes from every angle in life. From work woes to family dysfunction to generalized worry, they all add up and equal significant reasons to stress. Here are some tips that will help you stress less.

Top Tip: Take action- A lot of stress comes from failure to act on important issues. Whether it be procrastination, avoidance, or being downright lazy, failure to handle life’s issues can cause stress. Learn to take action and mark things off your to do list so you can reduce the amount of stress in your life.

Top Tip: Learn to let it go- Disney hit a nerve with the hit song Let it Go. Learning to let go of what you can’t control helps reduce stress. Giving up the need to control and stopping the worrisome fretting over things you can’t control will reduce a significant amount of stress.

Top Tip: Take things one day at a time- There’s only so much you can do in a day. When you end your day accept what you’ve accomplished and be proud. Set your worries aside knowing tomorrow will take care of itself. Learning to compartmentalize your fears, anxieties, and worries day by day can help you face each day as it comes and rest each night when the day is through.

Top tips that create better sleep

Doing what you can to stress less will help you go to bed prepared to sleep. Here are some tips that can help you sleep better each and every night.

Top Tip: Create an oasis in your bedroom- Your room should feel like a getaway from the world. Create an environment where you can’t help but feel relaxed and refreshed. Your bed should be comfortable, your bedding should feel luxurious, and the temperature should be ambient. Create an environment where you are comfortable and relaxed and you’ll fall asleep and stay asleep with ease.

Top Tip: Use sound to help you sleep- Some people enjoy sound when they sleep. White noise can help you achieve deeper sleep if you tend to be a light sleeper. Having a fan or white noise machine can help. There are also apps that can create ambient noises like the jungle, winter storms, or sounds of a coffee house to help lull you and keep you asleep.

Top Tip: Weighted blankets- People who suffer from anxiety and stress can find relief with weighted blankets. These blankets offer an in-home version of deep pressure therapy and offer relief and deeper sleep. Blankets come in a variety of sizes and weights and are great for children and adults.

Getting a great night’s rest is easier when you get a handle on stress and create an environment conducive to sleep. Combat the stress mindset before going to bed and make sure your room is designed for optimal rest. The two tactics go hand in hand and can greatly improve your ability to sleep, even when you’re living with a great deal of stress.

Restless Sleeper? Stop Doing These Three Things!

Try as they may, some people have a really hard time falling and staying asleep. They toss and turn and stay restless all night. It disrupts their sleep cycle and can cause their partners to lose sleep too. Before you know it, no one is getting any sleep.

Restlessness can be caused by many factors. Paying attention to what’s triggering your restlessness can help. You can keep a diary of your restlessness and pay close attention to patterns that indicate what’s keeping you up at night. In the meantime, until you’ve collected enough data, stop doing these three things and it could help you get better rest.

Stop eating and drinking after dinnertime

Stop smoking

Stop sleeping on your back

What you eat could be keeping you up at night- Eating foods late in the evening can cause the digestive system to work overtime. Spicy foods can cause heartburn and other foods can give you a jolt of energy when you need to be sleeping. Drinking caffeine can disrupt the sleep cycle too making it harder to fall and stay asleep. Drinking too much can also cause late-night trips to the bathroom disrupting restorative REM sleep.

Stop eating and drinking after your evening meal so you can digest your food and get your body ready for the most important task at hand- going to bed.

Smoking can disrupt your sleep- Smoking is toxic. Nicotine is a stimulant and can disrupt and override your circadian rhythm. Instead of slowing down for bed, smoking can rev you up. Smoking also causes a wide range of medical issues including emphysema, cancer, and respiratory diseases. Smoking can reduce the oxygen levels in the blood making it harder for the body to restore and repair itself at night leaving you feeling restless and tired throughout the night and into the next day.

Sleeping on your back can make you restless- Sleep apnea can cause obstructions that lead to failure to breath during the night. Sleeping on your back can contribute to the intensity of sleep apnea. Obesity is a contributing factor to sleep apnea and can cause soft tissues to collapse when the throat and tongue relax during the night. This happens more often when lying on our backs. Consistently being roused from deep sleep due to sleep apnea can result in restlessness, fatigue, and in some cases cause long-term health problems.

Being restless at night can contribute to stress during the day. Not getting enough quality sleep can manifest physically and emotionally. Doing what you can to overcome restlessness in bed will help. If you find you are eating and drinking past dinner time, try giving it up and see if things improve. Quit the smoking and try sleeping on your side or stomach too. Each of these can help improve your quality of sleep and reduce the level of stress you manage on a daily basis.

#sleepless #sleep #stress #i just want to sleep #routine #sleeping #rest

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downn-in-flames · 5 years

Text

like a deer in headlights

One short little road trip, that's all it is.

One short little eight hour road trip in a tiny car with the girl he's been in love with since his first year of uni. Nothing to worry about, really.

read it on: hpft | ao3 | ffnet

One short little road trip, that's all it is.

One short little eight hour road trip in a tiny car with the girl he's been in love with since his first year of uni. Nothing to worry about, really.

It was her idea, actually. James had been all set to just buy a plane ticket from London to Edinburgh - why Sirius and Remus insisted on a "destination" wedding in the same city they'd all attended school in is beyond him, but that's beside the point - and before he'd had the chance to book a flight, Lily had texted him, proposing the idea of driving up there together.

It'd be fun, she'd said. We haven't seen each other in ages and it'll be a nice way to catch up.

Apparently, her idea of 'catching up' involves spending eight uninterrupted hours alone with each other.

James can count on one hand the number of times they've hung out as just the two of them - all of them in uni, and none of them for anywhere near this much time.

He's definitely more than a little freaked out about it, which is, quite frankly, ridiculous if he thinks about it rationally. He's not exactly trying to make a good first impression or anything (he'd botched that one well and good six years ago) and they spent quite a lot of time together at uni, even if they were almost always with Sirius and Remus and Peter. This shouldn't be all that different.

But James also knows that he's got a fantastic tendency to make an idiot out of himself - something he hoped he'd grow out of once he hit his twenties but never quite did - and a confined space with just him and a girl he's fancied for years seems like a foolproof recipe for that idiocy to make a reappearance.

He's probably prepared for this trip a little... too well. His car is immaculate (scarily so, really, what kind of psychopath doesn't have anything in their centre console?), there are snacks and water in the backseat for the both of them, and he's got a playlist full of artists Lily loved in uni (that he not-so-secretly enjoyed as well) at the ready.

So as he parks in front of the address she'd texted to him last week and pulls his phone out to shoot her a quick text that he's here, he continues giving himself a mental pep talk to prepare for the hours ahead.

Honestly, he's going to be fine. Yeah, she's wonderful and brilliant and he spent the better part of three years making a fool of himself in front of her, but he's over that, for the most part. She's just a girl he liked in uni, but they've grown apart since then and surely she's not as -

The front door of her building opens, and whatever rationalisation had been going through James' mind comes to a stuttering halt. He's not sure if he'd just forgotten what she looked like or if she'd somehow gotten more gorgeous since they graduated, but… fuck.

Her auburn hair, which once fell to her waist in loose waves, has been chopped to shoulder-length, and she's got it in that same half-up, half-down style she wore so often at school. She's wearing a shirt that looks like it's from last year's Camden Pub Crawl tucked into high-waisted jean shorts, fully showing off her long, freckled legs.

And there's just something about the way that she carries herself, shoulders back and eyes bright, that projects a level of confidence he doesn't quite think she had a few years ago.

It has his heart doing all sorts of pathetic things all over again.

Maybe he's not actually over her.

She's got a light purple duffel bag thrown over her shoulder and a garment bag on her arm, and James remembers at the last possible minute that he needs to open the boot of his car for her to put her stuff in.

With literally anyone else, he'd get out of the car and help them load their bags - his mother would be appalled if she knew that he wasn't practising the 'gentlemanly manners' she'd instilled into him from the day he was born - but he knows Lily, and he knows that she'll insist on doing it herself anyways.

She's always had a massive independent streak - coupled with a distaste for anything remotely resembling a patriarchal norm - and it's one of the many (many) things he likes about her.

When she opens the passenger door, she's got a cheeky sort of smile that, were his heart not already hammering out a frantic rhythm in his chest, would definitely send his pulse skyrocketing.

Goddammit, she's so pretty.

"You didn't even offer to load my bag for me," she observes as she slides into the seat across from him. "What on earth would Euphemia say about that?"

"Euphemia probably still remembers the last time I tried that and you immediately smacked my hands away," he retorts, a smirk growing on his face to match her own, even though he's already been thinking about the fact that his mum would, in fact, give him a hard time for it.

"She did tell me later that she'd thought it was funny to see you put in your place like that," Lily muses as she puts her seatbelt on.

His mum had indeed gotten quite a laugh out of it, James recalls. She, Remus, and Peter had come to visit him and Sirius for a week in the summer after their first year, and James' mum had immediately become positively enamoured with both Lily and Remus, and proceeded to spend the remainder of the summer telling both James and Sirius respectively how wonderful they both were, in a not-so-subtle 'you would be perfect together and I want them as my child-in-law' sort of way.

Well, she'd gotten her wish with Sirius, at least.

He realises he's been quiet for far too long, and she's still grinning at him and probably expecting him to say something back to her. He runs his fingers through his hair - a nervous habit of his that he's never really been able to break - and asks, almost on autopilot, "Alright, Evans?"

She laughs at that, no doubt remembering the countless times he'd greeted her that exact way in school. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" And after a brief pause, "You look good."

He's almost positive he misheard her at first, but the faint pink spreading across her cheeks - at least, he doesn't think he's imagining it - is proof that he heard her right.

"Er, you too," he manages, stumbling over his words and almost immediately mentally berating himself for it. How the hell is he so smooth sometimes and an absolute fucking disaster at others?

If she catches on to his awkwardness though, she doesn't show it. "How's work? Are you still at Sleekeazy's?"

When he'd graduated uni, with a degree in English Literature of all things that he had no idea how to apply in the real world, he'd panicked and taken the first job available to him - which just so happened to be in the marketing department of his dad's massive haircare company.

It turned out he kind of enjoyed the marketing aspect, but working for a hair company was… not his thing, to say the least.

"Nah, I left that about a year and a half ago," he tells her. "Now I'm working as a deputy communications director for a small nonprofit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he answers, finally shifting the car into gear so that they can start off on this eight-hour journey of theirs. "It's all about providing resources for homeless LGBTQ youth - I don't know if you've ever seen Albus Dumbledore in a news article or anything, but it's his organisation."

"Wait, oh my god, I read his book last year!" Lily says, almost excitedly. "He's incredible, and the work he's doing for those kids is awesome."

"Yeah, he's a pretty solid guy," he confirms. "I really like it - I feel like I'm actually doing something good in the world, you know? And I just - god, so many of those kids remind me of Sirius as a teenager, except without anywhere to go when their parents kicked them out."

He's still not over the way Sirius was treated as a teenager, the way he'd arrived at the Potter's doorstep one January night during sixth form, shivering from the cold and sporting a massive bruise along the side of his face. He's pretty positive that, if he ever comes across any of Sirius' piece-of-shit homophobic family members ever again, he's not going to be able to fight back the urge to punch them right in the jaw, even though he knows that wouldn't accomplish anything.

But this… doing what he does now, it feels like accomplishing something.

"Hm, I'm surprised Remus never said anything about you changing jobs whenever you came up in conversation," Lily muses.

… They talk about him? Lily talks about him?

"I dunno," he says, flipping his turn signal on to turn left on Hendon. "Are you still working as a researcher for that ecological reserve?"

He already knows the answer is 'yes' - he'd panicked and called Remus almost immediately after Lily had proposed this whole road trip thing, and asked him for basically everything he knew about Lily since graduation - but he figures he'll ask the question anyways. Lily doesn't have to know that he's been a bit of a nervous wreck about this road trip, after all.

"I am," she answers cheerfully. "Still spending most of my day hanging out with frogs instead of humans."

"Well, good to know at least one of us actually found a good way to apply our degree," he jokes.

"Please," she replies, and from the tone of her voice alone, James can tell that she's both smiling and looking at him reproachfully all at once. "Don't tell me you don't still throw random literary references into everyday conversation."

He wracks his brain for an appropriate one to say in response, and goes with the first thing that comes to mind. " 'A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day.' "

She laughs brightly. "Some things never change." She pauses for a moment, then adds, "Fuck, what's that from? I feel like I should know it, but…"

"Dickinson." he answers, filling in the gap left by her silence.

"Oh, didn't you write a whole essay on how she was probably a lesbian at one point?" she asks.

"No," James defends immediately, immediately thinking back to the incident she's referring to. "Sirius used find and replace to replace every single instance of the word 'literary' with 'lesbian' in one of my final essays that term, and I only noticed ten minutes before I was set to turn it in."

"You should've kept it that way," she tells him. "I feel like most literature tutors would eat that shit right up."

James shrugs. "Honestly, you're probably right."

They fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but it quickly becomes a bit more uncomfortable when it's just the hum of the car's engine and the sounds of the city around them.

"Do you have any music?" Lily asks finally.

He honestly can't believe he'd somehow forgotten about the playlist entirely - there'd just been something about talking to her, catching up and immediately feeling like almost no time had passed at all, that had completely wiped his mind of everything else. "Oh. Yeah," he replies, grabbing his phone out of the cupholder and unlocking it. "There's a road trip playlist on my Spotify - just turn that on."

"You have a whole road trip playlist?" she asks, taking the phone from him and navigating to his Spotify app. "Oh god, this is brilliant."

She hits play, and is already singing along on the first note. "I promise that you'll never find another like me!"

And he finds himself thinking that no, he definitely won't.

***

They're less than an hour out of the city, driving along the M1, when James decides to make their first stop of the day.

"I don't know about you," James says to Lily, who's been alternating between singing along to the music playing through the speakers and exchanging stories about their lives since graduation, "but I desperately need some coffee right about now and there's a Costa coming up."

"Still addicted to caffeine, are we?" she teases.

"Not as bad as I was in uni," he replies. "I don't get four espresso shots in my lattes anymore, at the very least."

"Probably for the best," she agrees.

"Do you still only drink those Belgian Chocolate Frostinos in the summer?" he asks, remembering just how many times he and Sirius had ribbed her for her 'wimpy' taste in coffee beverages.

"Don't say that with such a tone of disdain," she shoots back. "They're basically a coffee milkshake - how could you not like that? But also, I can't believe you still remember my coffee order."

He's not sure he could forget anything about her - even something as simple as her (terrible) coffee order - even if he tried. But he tries to play it off without acknowledging just how many little details about her that he's got memorised. "Your shit taste in coffee is pretty hard to forget."

"Those are fighting words, James Potter," she replies playfully. "And here I was about to offer to pay for your coffee since you're the one driving - but now you've come for Frostinos in a way I can't accept."

"They're not bad," he retorts. "They're just a weak drink."

"Ah right, because you're the expert on strong drinks. It's not like you were too scared to shoot tequila until our third year or anything like that."

He doesn't point out that he still hates shooting tequila to this day, and will only do it when he's already sufficiently plastered as to not remember his distaste for them. "Yeah, well, if you recall correctly, there was one night our first year where I was the only one who didn't do three rounds of tequila shots, and coincidentally was also the only one who didn't end up puking in the bushes in George Square Gardens."

"And you missed an important rite of passage in that moment," she informs him seriously, just as they're pulling into the Costa Coffee.

"Somehow, I don't feel all that deprived," he replies, parking and turning the car off.

She laughs. "Well, you can't miss what you've never had."

They both get out of the car, falling into step on their way into the café. And he's kind of surprised, in that moment, to realise just how easy all of this has been. The way they've fallen into conversation and good-natured teasing so easily makes it seem like it's only been hours since they last saw one another, not years. Being with her is almost effortless - sans the few times she's nearly made him forget how to breathe - and he's…

Fuck, he's not even a little bit over her.

One hour in a car is apparently all he needed to go right back to being head over heels for her, which is only slightly alarming; at this rate, he'll probably be ready to propose marriage by the time they get to Edinburgh in seven more hours.

Which is nothing short of ridiculous - honestly, he doesn't even know if she's seeing someone, for heaven's sake. Remus had said she wasn't, but those things can change at the drop of a hat, and Lily's an absolute fucking catch, so he really wouldn't be even a little surprised if she's somehow in a committed relationship that Remus doesn't know about.

"Okay, but seriously," Lily says, looking up at him, "what do you want to drink? It's my treat."

"You don't have to," he answers automatically.

"You're literally sitting behind the wheel of a car for eight hours while I fuck around on my phone because we both know I hate driving - let me buy you a damn coffee, Potter."

He doesn't actually want to fight her on this - and she'd win anyways - so he surrenders pretty easily. "Fine - I'll have a flat white."

They get their drinks - James' in a tiny cup and Lily's in a much larger one complete with whipped cream and chocolate syrup - and set out on the road again.

The drive itself is pretty nondescript - they're just driving down the same freeway for an absurdly long amount of time - so they have to come up with other things to pass the time. At one point, Lily just starts scrolling through a list of Shakespeare quotes to see if James can give the play they came from - he only misses like two or three, and one of those was from Titus Andronicus, and he fucking hates that play so he feels like that one's an acceptable miss.

And then somehow, they end up in a super nostalgic conversation of some of their most notable shared moments at university.

"Do you remember the day we met?"

If James could bang his head against the steering wheel without putting both him and Lily in serious danger, he would. "Unfortunately."

Then he quickly corrects himself, lest she somehow interpret that the wrong way. "Not because of meeting you - just because of the fact that I made a total arse of myself."

"Yeah, I was pretty convinced I was going to hate you," she replies, amused. "And I'm pretty sure I told Remus that multiple times the first time the two of us went over to hang out with you and Sirius."

"Well, I fucking deserved it."

He'd been a first year, in a starting position on the football team and far too hyped up by the university population than any eighteen-year-old ever should be, and that newfound popularity had completely gone to his head. He'd thought he was on top of the world, that he could get anything he wanted, anyone he wanted.

It had been some freshers party that he and Sirius had pregamed just a little too much, and by the time they'd shown up to the actual event, James felt fucking invincible.

"You must've tried to hit on me… what, five separate times? All worse pick-up lines than the ones before?"

He groans. "Yes, I was a drunk asshole who thought you were the prettiest girl in the room and that as a result we were obviously a match made in heaven. I clearly made some pretty shitty decisions that night."

"So who was the prettiest girl in the room that night then?"

James falters, and it's a good thing the car's set on cruise because his foot might've just fallen off the gas pedal otherwise. "What?"

"You said you made some pretty shitty decisions that night, one of which was that I was the prettiest girl in the room," she answers, sounding nonchalant in a way that James thinks might be forced. "If it wasn't me, who was it, in your much-more-sober-now opinion?"

What the fuck kind of question is that?

He grapples with what she's just asked for a moment - is she somehow trying to gauge who he thinks is the fittest bird they went to school with? And why does she even care about that? And how on earth is he meant to answer this in a way that doesn't end with her getting upset with him?

Eventually, he just decides to go for honesty, but he keeps his eyes steadfastly on the road ahead of him when he answers. "Actually, that was perhaps the only non-shitty decision I made that night. You were easily the prettiest girl there - in both my drunk and sober opinions."

It's silent between the two of them for a few moments. "Oh."

And then a second later, "So you're not seeing Emmeline Vance?"

That might be an even weirder question than the last one. Emmeline had been on the women's football team, and they'd been close, but his feelings towards her have never been anything even remotely more than friendly. "No," he tells her immediately. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

"I… I don't know," she replies, and she sounds almost… nervous? "You posted a picture with her on Instagram a few weeks ago and I just… I don't know, I just thought maybe - "

"We were just catching up over dinner," he explains. "We're definitely not, you know, anything close to… that."

"Oh. That's… good, I guess."

That's good? Honestly, how the fresh hell is he meant to interpret that?

For some reason, the thing that comes out of his mouth next isn't a request for an explanation. Instead, it's a stilted "Are you? You know, seeing anyone?"

"I'm not."

"I… good to know."

Fuck, for all that James had been thinking that they were so good at not being awkward just an hour or so ago, they're sure being whole ass disasters right now. And honestly, 'good to know'? Were they not just talking about the time he'd drunkenly hit on her despite her not showing any interest? And his response to finding out that she's single is to say something that… practically implies he plans on using that information later?

Foot, meet mouth.

They settle into a slightly uncomfortable silence, and it's just John Mayer coming through the speakers.

I want to know the real thing about you, so I can see you in a new light…

***

The tension doesn't last much longer, because James' stomach starts growling and it becomes apparent that they'll need to stop for lunch soon.

"Do you want me to look up some good places to stop?" Lily asks, fishing her phone out of her bag.

"Yeah, that'd be good."

She sits back up in her seat. "Oh fuck, mine's dead - I completely forgot to charge it last night. Can I use yours instead?"

"Go for it," he replies. He unlocks the phone for her and hands it over, letting her find some random little sandwich place near Leicester that looks decent.

They decide to sit and eat instead of trying to eat on the road, and sitting across from her in a little two-person booth unexpectedly feels very much like they're on a date.

He feels his hands start to get clammy as they sit down with their food - despite the fact that his brain knows full well this isn't anything resembling a date and that they're just eating here together out of necessity and a need to stretch their limbs, he still can't help but feel something between them - some sort of energy that he can't quite put his finger on - that makes this seem like perhaps there's more to it.

But he's definitely just thinking too far into things. Lily's shown absolutely no signs of getting a similar vibe from, happily chatting with him as she eats.

The topic of Sirius and Remus suddenly comes up - fitting, really, as it's their wedding that they're headed to at the moment.

"How does it feel, knowing that your two closest friends are going to be getting married this time tomorrow?"

James just shrugs. "Honestly, with the way they act, it's basically like they've been married for a while. I just want the actual ceremony part over with so that mum can stop frantically texting me about it every five minutes."

"Oh yeah, I saw that," she tells him. "You had a few messages come in from her when I was changing songs."

James takes that moment to thank his lucky stars that his mum doesn't know he's driving up to the wedding with Lily; otherwise, he's sure she would've texted him a million times today about her, which would've been… awkward to explain away, at the very least.

"None of it was all that important though - she just likes having someone to report everything back to, and apparently that's my job in this case."

"Somehow, I doubt she'd be pleased to know you were calling her texts 'unimportant'," she teases, taking a sip of her drink.

"And you better not tell her," he warns, but he can't even keep the grin off his face as he does so.

"Fine, I'll keep quiet, if only to save your head," she replies after a moment of thought.

Then she changes the subject entirely. "But man, I'm thrilled for Sirius and Remus. Meeting the love of your life in the first month of uni is basically the dream, isn't it?"

Well yes, James wants to reply, but only when they also feel the same way.

But he doesn't voice anything even remotely close to that - they've only just gotten over their last bout of awkwardness, and he'd quite like to avoid any more of those if he can help it.

He shrugs, playing way cooler than he actually feels. "Yeah, I guess. At the very least, it's convenient for all those themed parties - they always went in some sort of couples costume."

"Says the bloke who wore basically the same costume for like half of them."

"Hey," he argues, "if the theme fits, why not go with an old standard?"

She laughs. "You really did get a whole lot of mileage out of those reindeer antlers."

He reflects back on that fondly - he honestly might still have that same pair of reindeer antlers somewhere, probably boxed up at his parents' house with some other memorabilia from university. "I really think my favourite was that pun party though, where I did the whole toga thing as well and called it 'deer god.' "

She gives him a look like she can see straight through him. "You just liked that one because you got to walk around shirtless and make all the girls in the college swoon over you."

"All the girls? Does that include you, Evans?" It's overly cheeky - and exactly the type of shit he would've pulled the first night they met - and he worries briefly that he might've gone too far this time.

She coughs, and it takes her a few seconds to answer him. "Obviously not. It takes a lot more to sway me than a bloke wearing a bedsheet as clothing."

He's strangely disappointed by that response, but he doesn't really know what else he was expecting either. That she was somehow magically swept off her feet by the mere sight of him?

No, Lily requires much more than appearances to be wooed, something he perhaps knows better than anyone.

"Sounds about right," he replies, and there's definitely a little bitterness in his tone that he wishes wasn't there. "At least mine was better than Pete's costume that night."

"Oh god," she laughs, "that was when he wore the nightstand, wasn't it? He was dressed as a 'one night stand' or something like that?"

"Yep. Seemed to think it would get him laid, for reasons I still don't fully understand."

Lily shakes her head. "Honestly, not his best plan. I'd rather go home with a bloke in a bedsheet than a bloke wearing a literal table."

James almost chokes on his sandwich at that. It probably means nothing, but god, the casual implication of going home with him almost does him in entirely.

He maintains that she really might be the death of him before they even make it to Edinburgh. Sirius is just going to have to find a new best man, because James is going to be fully out-of-commission by that point.

If he had maybe just the tiniest bit more courage - and, er, wasn't going to be stuck in a car with her for another four hours or so - he might say something about that comment. Or about a lot of her behaviour today, really.

But he stays silent, their conversation giving way to the song playing over the café speakers, Lily absentmindedly humming along with the lyrics while she waits for him to finish eating.

And I'm on my way, driving at ninety down those country lanes -

He makes a mental note to add more Ed Sheeran to their playlist.

***

They're more than halfway there now; after lunch, Lily had fallen asleep for what was honestly less than half an hour, but somehow seems like the end of the world to her.

"I'm supposed to keep you company, not fall asleep and leave you to fend for yourself," she says, in the middle of what must her fifth apology.

"I can handle driving alone for a little bit - it's fine, Lily," he tells her.

He doesn't mention that, when she'd fallen asleep, elbow resting on the centre console and head in her hand, she'd practically been resting against his shoulder, and he hadn't really minded that one bit.

"I'll be awake for the rest of the drive though," she insists. "We're only, what, three hours away now?"

"I've not got a map open, but that sounds about right," he replies.

Truthfully, he's just been driving along the A1 without paying much attention to their ETA - he figures it'll be awhile before any driving directions become relevant again.

"Well then, I've got three hours left of not taking any more naps," she answers simply. "Here, let me put on some good hype-up music."

He unlocks his phone and hands it to her again. "I've got no shortage of that."

She scrolls through the playlist for a little bit before finding something she's satisfied with. They start talking again - Lily tells him some story about the bar her roommate Marlene works at that somehow involves a low-level celebrity, a rubber chicken, and a real chicken; it's so absurd that, if she didn't swear up and down that she's got pictures of the whole thing that she'll show him when he's not driving, he'd definitely think she'd invented the whole thing.

"How do you somehow confuse those two?" he can't help but ask.

"I mean, it's a bar. Alcohol makes idiots of us all."

"Somehow I don't think I've ever been so drunk that I put a rubber chicken in a carrying pen and let a live chicken loose in a bar," he replies with a snort.

"Yeah, okay, that part was particularly stupid," she concedes, and the music suddenly shifts to a slow ballad. "Okay, we're definitely changing this."

She picks up his phone. "Shit, it's locked again."

He takes a hand off the wheel and holds it out to her. "Here, hand it to me, I'll unlock it."

"Just tell me your passcode," she replies. "I promise I'm not going to steal your phone or anything."

He lets out a short laugh at that. "Yeah, okay, it's not like you can make a run for it with my phone while I'm going seventy down the freeway. It's Lily: 5-4-5-9."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her freeze like a deer in headlights, and it's only then that he realises the magnitude of what he just said.

She's his fucking phone password - granted, she has been since uni and he's kept the password for so long because that pattern of screen taps is just automatic at this point, but still.

It's honestly a miracle he doesn't somehow crash the car right then and there.

The silence between them lingers for a few moments longer, the only sound coming from the One Direction song still playing through the speakers.

"Your phone password is… me?"

Much to his surprise, Lily doesn't actually sound entirely repulsed by this revelation; instead, she just sounds genuinely stunned.

"It's nothing," he replies, his words coming out in a rush instead of the cool, casual way he'd hoped they would. And really, if he were panicking slightly less right now, he might've come up with a good cover - some other Lily he knew, or literally anything other than a clear acknowledgement that yes, she is his phone password, but alas.

"No, it's not nothing." She's back to her normal tone again. "And if nothing else, I'd like to at least know why - maybe not necessarily while you're driving, but at the very least, at our next pit stop."

He… yeah, he supposes owes her that much.

But how does he even explain that away without revealing exactly how he's felt about her for all these years? And while they've seemed perfectly friendly for this whole trip - and for a few brief moments, maybe even more than that - he's not sure how confessing that he's basically been in love with her for five years now will affect that comfortable camaraderie of theirs.

"Okay, yeah, that's fair," he concedes, tightening his grip on the wheel and vowing not to look over at her, not to reveal anything just yet.

"We'll stop at the next rest area then?"

"Sounds good," he answers, and an awkward silence settles over them again. Lily obviously doesn't want to type her own name into his phone to unlock it, so the radio continues to play the same slow One Direction love song. And as soon as the chorus starts, he has to fight off the urge to outwardly cringe, because god, what the fuck was he thinking, putting a song that hits quite so close to home on this playlist?

I have loved you since we were eighteen, long before we both thought the same thing...

Luckily (or unluckily, he's not entirely sure which), there's a rest area just a few kilometres away.

It's good that he's saved from spending too much longer stewing in the aftermath of his own stupidity, but not-so-good in the fact that he now has very little time to figure out just how to express all of this.

He's still mentally running through his options - does he tell her the full truth? part of it? a bold-faced lie that he hopes she doesn't call him out on? - when he pulls into a parking space. He takes as long as humanly possible to put the car in park and turn it off, entertaining the vague fantasy that maybe if he stalls just a little bit longer, the perfect way to handle this situation will just pop into his head.

He doesn't get that massive epiphany, but his prolonged silence does result in Lily being the first to speak. "I'm going to tell you something, but in exchange, you have to promise to be totally, one-hundred percent honest with me."

That seems like a massively risky gamble, but James honestly doesn't think it's actually possible to dig himself into a deeper hole than the one he's already dug himself - so what's the harm, really?

"Okay."

And if he thought he even had an inkling of an idea of what she was going to say, he's very swiftly proven wrong. "I've fancied you since our second year at UoE."

She's… "What?"

"Do you remember the night of that pun party we were talking about earlier? When you were dressed up in those reindeer antlers and a bedsheet?"

"Er… yes," he replies slowly, entirely unaware of where this is going.

"That was the night Petunia uninvited me from her wedding, do you remember that?" she adds, and when James looks over at her, she's looking at her hands folded across her lap.

He does remember that, actually, although he'd never thought much of it having any deeper significance until now. He'd found her outside the college bar, sitting on one of the steps and staring numbly at her phone, and he'd just… he'd done what any good friend ought to do.

"You found me outside and just… dropped everything. You left your friends and that girl you'd been flirting with all night and took me to that greasy chippy that we both know you hated and went back to my place with me and watched Heathers with me for maybe the hundredth time and didn't leave until it was almost three a.m. even though you had an early morning football practice because you wanted to be sure I was okay."

She looks up, meeting his eyes. "And it's a little ridiculous that it took Petunia's cruelty to make me realise it, because I mean, that wasn't like the first time I'd realised you were capable of being nice or anything - I'd known that, and I'd known I liked you as a person and thought you were fit and all that, awful first impressions be damned, but something… when you left that night and it hit me that you'd magically replaced all that hurt and betrayal with something better, something just clicked."

He's silent for a few moments, processing everything she's just said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

It's the most hypocritical question in the history of hypocritical questions, given his own silence on his feelings for her, but it comes out of his mouth nonetheless.

"I don't know," she answers, looking away from him again. "I didn't know how you felt about me, and I didn't want to do anything while we were at school that was going to mess up our friend group, and then we'd graduated and I'd never said anything and it felt too little too late at that point."

"You… didn't know how I felt about you?" he asks dumbly. "I spent the first night I met you just constantly hitting on you - I feel like that's pretty damn obvious."

"And you were completely plastered and apologised for it profusely afterwards and avoided the subject any time it came up again - it didn't exactly seem like it was a feeling you maintained while sober."

"Because I felt like a twat!" he defends. "And you'd very clearly shown me you weren't interested, so I wasn't about to keep flirting with you after that. But honestly, I'm not great at being subtle - Sirius, Remus, and Peter were constantly giving me shit for acting like an idiot around you. I'm not sure how you never noticed."

"So this is… oh god, this is why Remus was so keen that I drive up to the wedding with you," she says, sounding like she's suddenly had an epiphany of sorts.

He's entirely thrown off-guard by her once again. "What?"

"I was… god, this is embarrassing to admit out loud, but I was talking to Remus a few weeks ago and I started asking about you... and Remus, er, knows about my feelings and he gave me the idea that maybe I should use their wedding weekend as a chance to catch up with you and… fuck, now that I think about it, he was definitely giving really heavy hints that you fancied me back in uni as well."

"Oh my god," James says, realisation suddenly dawning on him, "that dirty double agent."

"Double agent?"

"As soon as you texted me about driving up together, I panicked and called Remus, and the fucker acted entirely oblivious to the whole thing," he explains, his eureka moment entirely outweighing any potential embarrassment he might've felt about telling her that. "Said you probably just wanted to 'spend some quality time with me' or… oh."

That was definitely meant as a hint.

"So all of this was Remus playing matchmaker," Lily concludes. "Or, not even matchmaker really, just…"

"Apparently he came to the conclusion that putting us in a car together for eight hours would be the only way one of us would finally pluck up the courage to say something," he finishes.

"Although I suppose neither of us actually did that… at least not on purpose."

Now that the initial shock has worn off, it starts to sink in that oh my god, she actually has feelings for him - that she's had them for five whole years now.

She looks at him a bit mischievously, and he realises that they've somehow leaned in towards each other over the course of the conversation. "You still haven't told me why my name is your phone password."

Instead of telling her why, he shows her, because they've got so, so much lost time to make up for. One of his hands comes up to cup her cheek, delicately, as he takes in the feeling of her skin against his hands and commits it to memory, and he closes the remaining gap between the two of them and presses his lips against her own.

It takes them a second to get things right - on Lily's part because it takes her a second to realise what's happening, and on James' part because he can't stop fucking smiling and it's making the kissing part difficult, but once they find their rhythm… holy fuck is it a rhythm.

One of her hands curls around the collar of his T-shirt as she deepens the kiss, and they're at such an awkward angle because they're literally in the driver and passenger seats of a car, but none of that even matters because he's kissing Lily Evans and she's kissing him back and it's quite literally everything he'd ever hoped it would be and more.

Everything he has, everything he's felt for the last six years, he's pouring into this. And maybe he should be nervous about that level of intensity of it, nervous that it's too much for a first kiss after she's only just told him that she likes him too, but he… he's never had much self-control when it comes to her, and this seems to be no exception. He doesn't think he could tone it down even if he wanted to.

One of his hands slides down her side, and she makes a soft little moaning sound into the kiss that practically does him in. When he'd thought to himself that she was going to be the death of him, he hadn't exactly pictured it happening this way, but he's quite okay with it.

Although then again, he'd actually like to do quite a bit more of this before dying, so maybe scratch that. He can't snog the girl of his dreams if he's dead.

Her hand slides from his collar and down his chest, and he's hyper-aware of everywhere her fingers touch, and -

BEEEEEEP.

He jumps back immediately, removing his offending elbow from where it had accidentally collided with the car's horn. "Shit!"

Lily laughs, and when James looks at her, she's flushed and her lips are a little swollen, and he did that. "Cars are perhaps not the best place for impromptu snogging sessions," she says, smirking just a little.

"No, not really," he agrees. "Not sure why there are so many songs about it."

"I think those usually involve making use of the backseat instead."

He glances at the backseat of his car, which doesn't actually have all that much stuff in it, but at the same time...

He's pretty sure that, if they keep going, he's not going to want to stop. And while shagging in the back of a car may be another one of those things that people like writing songs about, he'd much rather prefer, say, a hotel bed for that type of thing.

Lily must notice his apprehension, because she laughs again. "I'm not proposing we start snogging in your backseat," she tells him. "We can wait until we get to the hotel."

"How far away is that again?" He knows he asked that question not too long ago, but he's honestly completely forgotten the answer in the time since then.

A lot has happened in that time period, sue him.

"A little under three hours."

A little under three hours. That's practically no time at all. He can do that.

When they finally pull out of the rest area parking lot and get back on the road, James turns the music volume back up again, and it's a rather fitting song for the way Lily's hand is currently reaching over the centre console and resting on his thigh.

Can't keep my hands to myself - I mean I could, but why would I want to?

***

It turns out that three hours actually feels like an endlessly long amount of time when faced with a newfound impatience to get to one's destination.

They're just as chatty as they were before - the only thing that's changed from the first half of their trip is that there are noticeably fewer weird moments between the two of them… which, in hindsight, all suddenly make a lot of sense now. Well, that, and the way Lily's hands will occasionally reach over and rest on his knee, his shoulder, his bicep, and linger there for just a few moments, like she's trying to confirm that he's still real, like all of this is still real.

He doesn't fully blame her; he still can't really believe it's real either.

But after approximately one hundred and eighty agonising minutes in the car, they pull into the hotel where everyone's rooms for the wedding are booked. His parking job is… definitely not his best work, but he's not spending a single moment more in this car than necessary.

He opens the boot and retrieves his own bag, and just like on the way here, he lets her pick up her duffel bag herself. But as soon as the car's locked, he can't stop himself from sliding his free hand into her own, because he's no longer in the driver's seat of a car anymore and he's finally free to do something with his hands besides hold onto a steering wheel.

"I'm assuming… did you book a hotel room with Pete?" Lily asks him, as they fall into step.

"Nah, I got my own room," he answers. He hadn't had a specific reason not to share a room when he'd made his reservation, but god is he grateful for it now.

"So did I," she replies.

He almost wants to ask her to just stay in his, but he's not sure… maybe it's too soon for that? Or too forward?

So he bites his tongue, content to just run his thumb along the back of her hand as they walk into the hotel lobby and up to the desk.

"Hi, we need to check into our rooms?"

The concierge looks up from her computer at the both of them, almost disinterestedly. "Last name?"

"There's two separate rooms," James clarifies. "One under James Potter, one under Lily Evans."

The woman starts pulling up their room details, and James can't help but look over at Lily while they wait. He's spent three whole hours waiting to kiss her again - which isn't that much time, in the grand scheme of things, but they're making up for five years of lost time - and now they're so close. All he needs is their damn room keys, and he can invite her up to his for a little bit before dinner, and -

"It looks like you two are booked in the same room, actually."

James' head snaps up to look at the concierge again. "I didn't - "

She scrolls a little. "It looks like the change was made by the wedding party who owns the block of room reservations."

The... wedding party? That means -

He and Lily come to the same realisation at the same time. "Remus," they both say aloud, almost in unison.

"Yes?"

James whirls around to find both of his best friends, sitting on a couch in the lobby with drinks in hand. How he missed them when they walked in is a mystery, but he supposes he might've been a bit preoccupied with other things.

He blinks at the two of them, trying to form words. "You - you changed my hotel reservation?"

Remus smirks at him. "No, that was all Sirius."

"And technically," Sirius chimes in, "I didn't change your reservation at all. I just cancelled Lily's."

"I - why?"

"Because Remus here had to listen to not one, but both of you go on about each other in the weeks leading up to this weekend, and there was quite enough of you two being mutually pining idiots in university for it to still be continuing to this day," Sirius explains, throwing an arm around his fiancé. "So it felt necessary to take matters into our own hands… although, from the looks of things, you two have managed to sort things out already."

Sirius' eyes drop meaningfully, and James follows his gaze to realise that Lily's hand is still in his.

James opens his mouth to respond, but Lily beats him to the punch. "Finding out a bloke uses your name as his phone password mid-drive tends to do that, yeah. But if you'll excuse us, we've got a shared hotel room to take advantage of, so…"

She flashes the room key at the two of them - James isn't sure when she managed to collect it from the woman at the desk, but she's got it nonetheless - and he feels his heart fill with affection for her all over again.

And he also very, very much wants to follow through on her plan.

"We'll see you tonight," he says hurriedly, and he's quite positive that his friends are going to have a nice laugh at how quickly he drags Lily over to the elevators.

Does he care? Absolutely fucking not.

It's practically a mad dash to their room after that - it seems Lily is just as impatient as he is - and they've only been in the room long enough to set their bags on the floor before Lily has absolutely eliminated even the slightest breath of air between their bodies, rising up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"So, what do you say? Worth the drive?" She's got a sly smile on her face, and her green eyes are positively sparkling.

"Without question," he confirms, his hands settling on her hips almost automatically as he drops his head down, resting his forehead against hers.

There's a beat, a breath, and then her lips are on his all over again.

His reaction is instantaneous, one hand tangling in her hair while the other wraps tighter around her waist, and god, it's even better the second time - although that's likely at least in part due to the fact that they're not at some weird angle in James' tiny car this time around.

It's safe to say that absolutely none of this was what he was anticipating when he picked Lily up from her apartment in Camden Town this morning, but he's more than happy with the results.

One short little road trip, that's all it was, and it got him this.

#jily fanfiction #jily fic #jily #james potter #lily evans #hp #hp fic #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #marauders era #modern au #roadtrip au #james and lily

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youremarvelous · 6 years

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I dont think it's in your prompt list, but if you're willing to give it a go-- Yuuri coming home from out of town, finding their house in a flurry of crayons and colored paper, with Victor and their daughter asleep in the bedroom.

Sure, honey! I love writing parental victuuri. I hope you enjoy it!

“Okay—” Yuuri stops outside the TSA line, turns to face Viktor—“so pick-up is at 1—”

“But leave early in case of traffic.”

“And—”

“And bring her a snack to eat because she always gets cranky if she falls asleep on the car ride home before having one.”

Yuuri’s opens his mouth, then closes it again with a slight nod, exhales audibly. “You’ve got it covered.”

“I’ve got it covered,” Viktor smiles, stroking Yuuri’s cheek with his thumb.

“Right,” Yuuri flushes. He sneaks his arms under Viktor’s blush pink sport coat, hugs him so tight he can feel Viktor’s heartbeat fluttering against his cheek. “I’ll miss your coffee.”

Viktor pets the back of Yuuri’s head. “They’ll have coffee at the hotel, dove.”

“Mm,” Yuuri hums. “It’s not the same. Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Hey—” Viktor crooks a finger under Yuuri’s chin, tilts his head up so their eyes meet—“it’s just two days. You’ll nail your photoshoot, have a nice, uninterrupted night of sleep, enjoy some subpar coffee—”

Yuuri snorts.

—“and you’ll be home with me and Anechka before you know it.”

“I won’t be able to sleep without your snoring.”

Viktor presses his lips to Yuuri’s forehead, the side of his nose, pauses over his mouth—“I trust you’ll manage—” before kissing him there.

Yuuri isn’t so sure, but he lets his arguments fall away for the moment, singed from his brain by the heat of Viktor’s lips satin-soft against his, the taste of Viktor’s favorite peppered cinnamon black tea on his tongue.

He waves Viktor one last goodbye from the other side of security, manages not to cry until he’s long out of view, safely locked in a bathroom stall near his gate. The truth is no amount of planning could ever adequately prepare him for the inevitable anxiety surge of his first weekend spent away from his daughter.

“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Yuuri had whisper-cried to his Mom weeks earlier. He was home alone, crammed in the corner of the pantry between boxes of noodles and long-expired baby formula out of an ingrained impulse to hide the truth, even if only from himself. “But some nights he snores louder than the baby cries.”

For her part, Hiroko listened patiently, offering hums of understanding, the occasional, “I’m sure Vicchan knows Anna-chan can’t use the blender on her own,” over any real concrete advice. She knows as well as Yuuri, the only way for him to get over his fear of leaving Anna is to force himself to do it and prove to the hair-trigger, threat-seeking anxiety klaxons in his brain that nothing bad will happen because of it.

All the reason in the world doesn’t stop him from huddling over his laptop as soon as he makes it to the hotel room after the flight, torn between the blissful refuge of not knowing and his heart-rending terror of it.

“Yurik!” Viktor finally answers after Yuuri’s third time calling. Yuuri had already typed 1-1-2 on his phone after the second. He quickly clears it with trembling fingers. “How was your flight, my heart?”

“Fine.” Yuuri tries to scan the background, for the first time in the history of his crush, cursing Viktor’s perfect genetics for the breadth of his muscular shoulders. “Um, so…where’s Anna-chan?” He asks, totally shattering any poorly-constructed illusion of nonchalance.

“Hmm?” Viktor purses his lips. He looks adorably cute—forehead pleated, eyes unbearably blue in the laptop light. Yuuri would appreciate it more if his heart wasn’t pushing its way into his throat. “It’s naptime.”

Which, yeah, Yuuri does a quick time conversion in his head. It is. He’s an idiot.

“Oh, right. That’s right. Sorry.”

“Have you gone anywhere fun?”

Yuuri’s a shitty liar. He doesn’t even have to open his mouth before Viktor’s tilting his head, mouth turning down at the corners.

“Yuuri,” he scolds, stretching out the vowels.

Yuuri swallows down a comment about how nowhere is fun if Viktor and Anna aren’t there. It’s not true, anyway.

Probably.

Or at least, saying so would worry Viktor.

“I’ll go now,” Yuuri says instead. “Call me if something happens?”

“I’ll call you even when it doesn’t,” Viktor assures him. “I love you, please try to rela—enjoy yourself,” he carefully amends.

Yuuri tells him he loves him, too, that he’ll try. He slips in his earbuds after ending the call, tries to recall the choreography to his old routines while he walks around the city, eating up time before he has to leave for his sponsor meeting.

Work helps him get things off his mind a little. At least, until they politely ask about his life as a husband and father for the biographical blurb they’re including with the photoshoot. “It’s the most fulfilling accomplishment of my life,” Yuuri says, which is a true statement, if a well-practiced one.

“Does it worry you to be away for the weekend?”

Yuuri laughs, the sound of it skipping off the walls—stilted and unnaturally loud. “Not at all.”

His pocket buzzes. It’s a photo of Anna shirtless in their backyard, crouched in a mud puddle in her blue, poodle-printed wellies. The cuteness of which manages to distract the interviewer from Yuuri’s fingers drumming an aimless rhythm on his knee, his foot bouncing under the desk.

“Fed, bathed, and tickled,” Viktor reports over Facetime later that evening. “How was the meeting?”

“What? Oh, fine,” Yuuri answers distractedly. His image is blurred, distorted by the faint intermittent tremble wracking the knee on which the laptop is propped. “Did Anna go down okay?”

“Yes, dear,” Viktor smiles politely. ‘Stop fixating’ in code.

Yuuri manages to book himself an earlier flight the next morning. “So I wouldn’t have to miss your coffee,” Yuuri mentally practices himself explaining to Viktor. There’s no point saying that he couldn’t sleep in a crumbless, stainless bed, bereft of clingy dogs and even clingier husbands. Viktor will be able to ascertain as much from his lank hair, the purple bruises under each eye.

He probably expects it, anyway, and not just because Viktor himself has pulled the same move no less than five times in the three years since Anna was born. They know each other too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

When Yuuri arrives home—by taxi because he doesn’t want to wake anyone before 5 am—the house is dark and silent. A good thing, logically, but a terrifying thing to the irrational corner of his brain that insists it’s because he has yet to replace the batteries on the carbon monoxide detector since it went out last week and they’ve suffocated in their sleep.

He forgets about the potential poisoning when his head bumps something thin and fluttery in the threshold of the kitchen and living room. He backs up, squints at the obstruction through the dark before flicking on the light. A homemade “welcome home” banner emerges from the dark, rainbow letters written in Viktor’s careful script, decorated with scribbles of yellow and brown circles with legs that Yuuri knows from experience are meant to be happy suns and playful puppies.

Yuuri covers his mouth with his hand, tears stinging his eyes. He can see the paper scraps and crayons still littering the kitchen table, walks over to find a family portrait—a tall rectangle of green and a slightly shorter oval of blue, holding the hands of a purple triangle. There’s also a pink crayon with a deep, conspicuous bite mark, but Yuuri chooses to ignore it for the moment.

He wanders quietly to the bedroom, peeks in to find the centers of his world snuggled together on the bed, a tangle of limbs and dogs and stuffed animals. Yuuri shuffles to Anna’s side. He combs her tangled hair out of her face and kisses her temple, gently pushes away a dog to pull the covers up to her chin.

He makes his way to the other side of the bed next, runs his fingers through Viktor’s hair, brushes the pad of his thumb over his eyebrow until Viktor blinks up at him groggily.

“You’re home.”

Yuuri bows to kiss him. Viktor isn’t expecting it and their lips meet awkwardly—crookedly. It’s exactly perfect in that it isn’t at all. “Sorry I didn’t trust you.”

Viktor takes Yuuri by the wrist, pulls him into the narrow space between him and their daughter. “It’s okay,” he whispers, voice sleep-rasped and low. “You just wanted to make it home for the coffee, right?”

Yuuri hides a breathy, relieved laugh into Viktor’s chest. “Something like that.”

my yoi drabbles | kofi ♡

#yuri on ice #yuuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov #victuuri #yoi drabble #my writing #prompt fill

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Listed: Joshua Stamper

Photo by Christopher McDonald

After 25 years composing and arranging, Joshua Stamper’s versatility remains as notable as ever. The artist moves fluidly from classical to indie-rock to chamber music and more. While collaborating with acts like mewithoutYou and Robyn Hitchcock or scoring films, he manages to release his own work, too. Reviewing Stamper’s most recent release, Justin Cober-Lake described PRIMEMOVER as a “soundtrack for a particular kind of year in the church life, one with puzzles and rest, beauty and complication.” His work, as with PRIMEMOVER or his new Elements project, tends to be multidisciplinary, with Stamper incorporating an array of influences from outside music. With his breadth of input and output, it's no surprise that Stamper would offer us a list that includes music, visual art, philosophy, and poetry.

Thierry De Mey — “Unknowness, for percussion and sampling: Love Function is to Fabricate Unknowness”

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My brother gave me Thierry De Mey’s Kinok for my birthday about twenty years ago. He bought it on the strength of the album cover alone. It’s a record I have returned to dozens of times. “Unknowness” is utterly arresting — a deep and loose sway juxtaposed with startling percussive gestures as unpredictable as ricocheting gunshots. It is all swing, mystery, magic, and space. I feel when listening that I am reduced to sub-atomic scale, where mountains of granite become a gossamer mesh that I move through as a stroll in the park, looking at trees that are freeze-frame explosions.

John Cage — “Water Walk”

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4'33" is a popular punching bag for Cage critics. The piece is derided as an adolescent practical joke from an impertinent child of a composer who gets his kicks deliberately wasting audiences’ time. “It's not music” is the common refrain, but the complaint behind the complaint is that it is alienating; that the only way in which the piece facilitates communal experience is that everyone feels on the outside of an inside joke.

When I was younger, I shared this impatience with Cage. Then I came across “Water Walk,” a piece premiered in January 1960 on the popular TV game show I’ve Got A Secret. My view of John Cage and his music were both upended, instantly and utterly. Instead of a preening and pretentious provocateur I encountered a playful and guileless individual filled with wonder; one who took unfettered joy in people, invention, and the sheer fact of sound.

In the space of one viewing, 4'33" shifted from an insolent and self-satisfied prank to a concentrated celebration of community and sound — a wide-eyed invitation to pause, together, all of us here sharing this space, LISTEN, all of us here sharing this space, together, pause. My self-righteousness shattered. All becomes music. I haven't heard anything the same way since.

I’ve since spent a great deal of time with his writing, lectures, poems, prints and music, and wonder how I could have ever thought ill of the man's intentions. It may seem obvious, but Cage taught me that an artist’s own life is the clearest interpretative lens through which to understand their work.

Prince and the Revolution — “I Wonder U” (from Parade)

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Sgt. Pepper-esque sound design, kaleidoscopic orchestral arrangements, the hushed voices of Prince, Wendy and Lisa riding on a composite groove of such integrity and force that it sounds like it's forged from steel...

I first encountered Prince’s Parade the summer between my high-school graduation and my first year of college. “I Wonder U” is less than two minutes long, but I was stopped in my tracks. The song feels like the liminal space between dreaming and waking, at once welcoming and dangerous, where multiple musics converge like Charles Ives’ double marching bands destined for head-on collision. Discreet melodies and rhythms and keys bleed in and out of each other, but also exist as vital layers in a larger whole. It's a hypnotizing 3-D sonic Venn diagram.

My decision to major in composition was set.

Jasper Johns — “Regrets”, 2013, oil on canvas

Jasper Johns said, “I think that one wants from a painting a sense of life. The final statement has to be not a deliberate statement but a helpless statement. It has to be what you can't avoid saying.”

“a helpless statement” – I find myself breathing deeper and slower with Johns’ words, grateful for the reminder that before anything else, art making must be grounded in vulnerability and weakness. The hope and the challenge in Johns’ words is its call to distillation, to get to the heart of the heart of the heart of a matter, where there is simply nothing else that can be said. The process of distillation even involves the shedding of all those things we sometimes mistake for the work itself: craft, expertise, training, credential. There’s a threshold that must be crossed, a moment of lift-off where will and deliberation are left behind and the work takes flight on what is inevitable, as involuntary as a cry or a laugh.

Palestrina — “Missa Brevis”

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“Painting is time, music is space.” So said one of my brother’s undergrad art professors. Of course, you’d expect the opposite, as space is the context in which painting exists while time is the fundamental warp and woof of music. But my most profound experiences with music are always characterized by new spaces being revealed or created. By “space,” I don't mean some state of cerebral or emotional revelry. I mean real, actual space — with dimensions. A space that’s shocking in its physicality. This happens to me constantly.

My first experience of Palestrina’s “Missa Brevis” was in a choir rehearsal in my junior year of high-school. It was a catalytic event. A braid of interweaving melodies and counter-melodies emerged, enveloping me and everyone else singing, and the room seemed to expand. I wanted more. The vocational pull to become a musician was like being swept out to sea.

Every time I return to this piece, I experience this expansion. The patient dip and rising of every “Kyrie,” “eleison” and “in excelsis” creates its own cosmology, its own dimensions and gravity. Our relationship to time is also a relationship to space; their woven-ness is inextricable. The space-time continuum isn't just a physics thing.

Ann Hamilton — The Event of A Thread

Years ago, I had the opportunity to experience The Event of A Thread by Ann Hamilton at the Park Avenue Armory in New York City. A massive silk that moves like water or vapor, a field of swings, a record stylus, wooden crates of live pigeons, paper scrolls spilling onto the floor, a ceiling peppered with pulleys, bags of words and sacks of sound... It's difficult to describe the piece, in either its scope or particulars, but I became a child.

In Ann Hamilton's discussion of the piece, she says, “It happened because a space was made for it to happen.” The inverse implication of this statement is that if space isn't made, things won’t happen. In my experience, solitude, reflection, exploration and craft are so easily bullied by the crush of life and of calendars, but Hamilton’s observation presses an urgent case for the care and protection of these kinds of spaces to think and puzzle and make. How much wonder, play, rest, and beauty could exist only for want of a place to exist?

So, with that, “it happened because a space was made for it to happen” – my working manifesto.

Mary Oliver — Upstream (Section One: “Of Power and Time”)

“It is a silver morning like any other. I am at my desk. Then the phone rings, or someone raps at the door. I am deep in the machinery of my wits. Reluctantly I rise, I answer the phone, or I open the door. And the thought which I had in hand, or almost in hand, is gone.”

The untroubled waters of a day whose promises have yet to unfold are not untroubled for very long. But the most persistent interruptions are those that come, as Oliver describes, “not from another, but from the self itself.” The resonance for me is deep.

In a 2015 On Being interview, Mary Oliver tells a story about when she learned she had received the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry (she didn't even know that her latest, American Primitive, had been submitted for the award): she was at the town dump looking to buy shingles to shingle a roof with. A painter friend of hers came by, joking, “Ha, what are you doing? Looking for your old manuscripts?”. Oliver just laughed and continued looking. When recounting the story to Krista Tippett, she chuckled and said, “...my job in the morning was to go find some shingles.”

To simply be dedicated to the work of the day, to be unmoved and uninterrupted by either rejection or by accolade represents a degree of settledness that I find very beautiful and very challenging.

She was known for writing while she was walking...

Ludwig Wittgenstein / Wendell Berry — “How to Be a Poet”

To continue on the subject of the working life, last night I came across a beautifully concise quote from Ludwig Wittgenstein that speaks to a consistent tension I experience: the urgency to cultivate the solitary and silent spaces required for thinking and working, and a loud and frenetic pull in the opposite direction to “produce” (to what end? - I constantly find myself asking). He simply says: “I can only think clearly in the dark."

This sentiment is echoed in Wendell Berry's proverb-like poem “How to Be a Poet” (wit and wisdom go together well):

“...Any readers who like your poems, doubt their judgement.” [...]

“Stay away from anything that obscures the place it is in.”[...]

“...make a poem that does not disturb the silence from which it came.”

Both Wittgenstein and Berry cut against the grain of popular priorities of content-creation, audience-building, beating the algorithms and cutting through the noise (again, to what end?). Instead, they throw open a window to the generous gifts and glories of a life lived in obscurity.

Andy Goldsworthy

Andy Goldsworthy’s work re-convinced me that art has power. That it is able, for those with ears to hear and eyes to see, to create or reveal a different way of inhabiting the world, of inhabiting one's own humanity. My introduction to Goldsworthy was a documentary by Thomas Riedelsheimer called Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working With Time. I watched tall stone cairns being built on the beach, slowly and carefully, only to be disassembled by the gentle but unremitting incoming tide. I was transfixed by bright yellow leaves stitched together and set loose along a creak, moving like a lazy water snake, wending around rocks and logs and gradually twisting and breaking apart. Balls of bright red dust thrown into the air to form dissipating crimson clouds; delicate stick-curtains collapsing at the breath of a breeze; one-ton snowballs on a London summer day, melting to water and then to air.

As Westerners we tend towards a conception of beauty that is extremely specific, a precise and particular point in time: the crest of a wave, a flower that's just bloomed, a new car rolling off the truck at the dealership, a man or a woman at twenty-five... But Goldsworthy's work does something different. It includes these moments but also folds them into something larger. One begins to see the whole story of a thing, from its initial conception all the way to its inevitable fading or destruction, and all of it is beautiful. This changes everything.

I recognize in myself a preference for the promise of a thing more than the reality of a thing, but as I interact with Goldsworthy’s work my understanding of beauty is slowly and gently disassembled, like one of his beach cairns. It is replaced with a widened aperture, a more charitable and hospitable read of the people and the world around, and I'm welcomed into a more generous way of being.

Ornette Coleman — “What Reason Could I Give” (from Science Fiction)

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Jane Austin’s Mr. Knightley says to Emma Woodhouse, “If I loved you less, I could talk about it more...”

All I can say about this piece: I’m fully convinced that this is what angels sound like.

#dusted magazine #listed #joshua stamper #thierry de mey #john cage #prince and the revolution #jasper johns #palestrina #ann hamilton #mary oliver #ludwig wittgenstein #wendell berry #andy goldsworthy #ornette coleman

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un-enfant-immature · 4 years

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Sony WH-1000XM4 headphone review

There was a mixed reaction among the TechCrunch staff when Sony’s WH-1000XM4 were announced the other week. There was excitement among those looking for new headphones and disappointment for those who’d recently purchased a different pair. The product’s predecessor are pretty universally regarded as some of the best over-ear headphones you can get for the price point, so the biggest question, really, was what the new ones bring to the table.

So let me just say this off the bat. If you own the WH-1000XM3, congrats. You purchased a very good pair of headphones — ones that rightfully helped unmoor Bose from its long-standing position as the default frequent traveler purchase. And no, you don’t need to rush out and upgrade if yours are still hanging in there.

The original headphones entered the world pretty fully formed, and after two years, this refresh is more of a refinement of an excellent product. But the additions do go a long ways toward maintaining Sony’s spot as the reigning champion of noise-canceling, over-ear Bluetooth headphones. The 1000XM4 are hard to beat.

Sony’s excellent over-ear headphones get smarter

The new headphones more or less look exactly the same as their predecessors. They’re not the most striking pair of over-ear headphones for your money (that award may well go to Sennheiser or Bang & Olufsen). I appreciate the relative simplicity versus the comparable Bose Quiet Comfort model. Honestly, when it comes to things like long-haul flights, the less flashy, the better.

The headphones are surprisingly light — something I noticed the first time I had the opportunity to try the M3 during a meeting in some board room with Sony execs a couple of years back. The new units have a bit more padding and are extremely comfortable. I say that as someone who has a tough time with over-ear headphones for whatever reason. As I write this, I’ve been wearing the headphones for the better part of four days.

Image Credits: Brian Heater

There have been breaks in the marathon, of course. The nature of the form factor means they’re not really ideal for, say, going for a walk or falling asleep. The former is especially the case of late here in New York, where it has routinely hit temperatures in the 90s. For noise canceling all of the annoyances of home, however, they’re terrific. And when we all start flying in planes again, they’ll be excellent for that, too (thanks in no small part to the inclusion of a 3.5mm headphone jack for that seat-back entertainment).

The other element that has allowed for nearly uninterrupted usage is the ability to pair the system with two devices simultaneously. This has, frankly, been a big pain point for a number of headphones I’ve been using of late, requiring the user to get into the device settings and manually select the headphones. Using the iOS app, I paired the M4 to my phone and desktop top, and I’m able to switch seamlessly between sources. You’d be surprised by how liberating that feels. Just make sure your sound level is comparable on each device or you’ll be in for an unfortunate blast.

Sony adds Alexa to its noise-canceling headphones

Like the M3, the sound quality is excellent, offering a full audio picture, regardless of genre. The sound is honestly pretty comparable to the previous model, and that’s perfectly fine. Nura’s truly excellent sound profile technology retains the top spot for me, but these new Sonys offer excellent audio for a pair of everyday headphones.

Once again, the real centerpiece, however, is Sony’s truly excellent noise canceling. The feature was the M3’s real secret weapon against Bose dominance in the category. The new models take things up a notch by detecting ambient sound some 700 times per second via the system-on-a-chip and actively adapting to counteract this. The system also features the addition of Noise Canceling Optimizer. On the face of it, the feature works similarly to noise optimization on other systems. Hold the button down and it sends an audio signal into your ear, meowing things like seal quality and atmospheric pressure (for planes, primarily) to offer up a more customized found profile. It adds up to some truly excellent noise canceling and an overall great audio experience.

There are a bunch of other nice features throughout that may or may not be helpful in your specific scenario. For instance, I found myself immediately disabling Speak to Chat, which pauses playback when you speak. A nice feature in theory, but I live alone, so the only time it would trigger is if I coughed, laughed or unconsciously found myself singing along to the music. More useful for my own needs however is a feature that lets in ambient sound when you cover the right ear cup with your hand. Ambient sound fed into headphones through a mic still sounds a bit unnatural, but it does the trick.

Image Credits: Brian Heater

I also found myself turning off location tracking, because, quite frankly, enough of my gadgets already know where I am. Also, the addition of noise that adapts based on familiar locations is nice, but not really worth the trouble for me — especially these days when I’m leaving my apartment significantly less than I’d care to admit. And besides, I just really don’t like seeing that location tracking icon in the corner of iOS 11.

Google Assistant and Alexa are built in, as well, but again, not features I tend to use much in a pair of headphones. I’d say I shut them off to save battery, too, but with a stated life of 30 hours, I’ve honestly been fine on that front. Charging via USB-C, meanwhile, will get you an impressive five hours of playback in around 10 minutes.

At $350, they’re priced the same as their predecessors — which is to say, they’re not cheap. But you’d be hard pressed to find a better pair of wireless over-ear headphones in their class.

#TechCrunch

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itsfinancethings · 4 years

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New story in Business from Time: Why We Buy In to the Big Business of Sleep

In a small room without windows, I am instructed to breathe in sync with a colorful bar on a screen in front of me. Six counts in. Six counts out. Electrodes tie me to a machine whirring on the table. My hands and feet are bare, wiped clean and placed atop silver boards. My finger is pinched by an oximeter, my left arm squeezed by a blood-pressure cuff. Across from me, a woman with a high ponytail, scrublike attire and soft eyes smiles encouragingly. She is not a doctor, and this is not a lab. The air smells like lavender and another fruity scent I later learn is cassis. My chair is made of woven reeds, topped with a thick cushion and a pillow for lumbar support. The windowless room feels more cozy than claustrophobic; this is not torture but a luxury. I am, in fact, in a five-star resort with a 2,000-sq-m spa and an indoor heated pool. This process, I have been promised, will help me sleep better.

For years, I had been waking up exhausted. My primary care doctor ran my blood work three separate times to try to suss out an underlying problem, and each time it came back fine. I had no problem falling asleep, or even really staying asleep. The problem was that no matter how many hours of sleep I got, I had to haul myself out of bed in the morning, grumpy and lethargic.

So, in December, before COVID-19 ravaged the world and made travel unsafe, I journeyed to a beautiful valley in Portugal’s Port wine region to take part in the €220-per-night Six Senses Sleep Retreat to try to learn to sleep better. Six Senses has long made wellness and sustainability two of its main pillars of business. They have yoga retreats and infrared spas. They’re aiming to be plastic-free by 2022—all plastic, not just single-use. But for the past two years, the luxury resort brand has bet big on sleep. In 2017, they launched a sleep program with a sleep coach, sleep monitoring, a wellness screening, bedtime tea service and a goody bag of sleep-health supplies. The idea was that, with three nights of analysis and behavioral adjustments, I might finally train my body to get a good night’s sleep. It’s a vacation with a purpose, and it’s one with big appeal: Six Senses offers the program at 10 of its resorts and is requiring all new resorts (including New York City in 2021) to include the program.

Luxury hotels have been pushing health as a selling point for travel since well before events made the two oxymoronic. The global wellness-tourism market was valued at $683.3 billion in 2018 by Grand View Research, and according to the Global Wellness Institute’s 2018 report, 830 million wellness trips were taken by travelers in 2017. That was up nearly 17% from 2015. In 2018, American Airlines partnered with the meditation app Calm to help their passengers sleep. Headspace has partnerships with seven different airlines to do the same thing, all over the past few years. A survey from the National Institutes of Health shows that the number of U.S. adults who reported meditating while traveling tripled from 2012 through 2017. And all this travel wellness has one common goal: to get people to sleep better, because we know that—generally—people aren’t sleeping well.

In 2016, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) published findings claiming that one-third of adults are not getting enough sleep and that sleep deprivation is costing the country some $400 billion each year in productivity. It is also important to note that many studies have found a large disparity in sleep quality based on race, ethnicity and socio-economic status. In comparisons of white and Black populations, studies have found that white women have the best sleep duration and Black men the worst. Those disparities do not go away when studies adjust for socio-economic level. The Sleep Foundation writes that a factor may be higher levels of stress because of discrimination in daily life.

Although consumers have opened their wallets in pursuit of better sleep since the debut of memory foam in 1966, the past five years have been a boom for the sleep-wellness industry. The global sleeping-products market brought in $69.5 billion in revenue in 2017, and, according to the most recent report published in May 2018 by P&S Market Research, the industry is on track to hit $101.9 billion in 2023. The consulting group McKinsey put out a seven-page guide to investing in sleep health in 2017. And anyone who has tried to buy a mattress online recently has noticed just how many new mattress brands there are: Casper, Tuft & Needle, Purple, Leesa, Allswell, SleepChoices, Bear. The U.S. mattress industry has doubled in value since 2015, from $8 billion to $16 billion.

In my desperate quest for good sleep, I’ve bought into all of this. When I sat down to calculate it all, I was stunned to find that over the past three years, I have spent more than $1,000 on sleep. I bought a Fitbit, a Sonos speaker with a built-in alarm, a new pillow, a new mattress, a fluffier comforter, a weighted blanket, cold eye masks, a humidifier, pajamas made of bamboo, pajamas made of 100% cotton, pajamas made of satin and an alarm clock that mimics a sunrise. The sleep retreat, I hoped, would do something all the other purchases had not.

I don’t sleep well on the plane. After four hours of fitful slumber interrupted by turbulence, dinner service and my seat neighbor bumping into me on the red-eye from New York City to Lisbon, I groggily deplane and replane for the short flight to Porto, down another espresso and drive the one and a half hours to the Douro Valley. By the time I arrive at the hotel, the sun is beginning to set and my bed looks very inviting. It is only 5 p.m.

I’m led to my room by a woman named Vera who introduces my supplies: an eye mask, bamboo pajamas, earplugs, lavender spray for my bed and a worry journal where I can write down anything bothering me before I sleep. I flop down on the €2,500 mattress and hope that whatever I learn here will be easily transferable to the $200 mattress I bought off Amazon and my sad cotton-blend sheets. By the bed is a small box made by ResMed, which will track my movements while I sleep and present me with colorful graphs of data each morning.

I follow the given instructions: eat dinner leisurely, have only one glass of wine, take a bath in the deep tub, drink chamomile tea, put on the new pajamas, write in the journal and go to bed around 10 p.m. When I wake up, the ResMed app shows a series of colorful bars—my “sleep architecture” progression through deep, REM and light sleep—and a score of 97. “I had nothing to say about that sleep,” shrugs Javier Suarez, the director of the spa and wellness programs at Douro Valley, at my first consultation. He studied physiotherapy at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), and he knows this is abnormally good. “What we [often] see here is the first night, [guests] sleep bad because they come jet-lagged or they’re anxious,” he says. I’d slept a hard, uninterrupted eight hours. I feel proud of the prep I did before I came, adjusting my bedtime to try to prevent jet lag.

There are many scientific reasons to desire good sleep. Poor sleep quality is associated with a whole host of unhealthy side effects. Getting bad sleep puts people at a higher risk for diabetes, cardiovascular disease, Alzheimer’s, impaired memory, problem-solving issues, fatigue, anxiety, mood disturbances and poor performance at work. There’s a market, then, to help people sleep better, not just because it makes money, but also because it is generally good for people. “There’s no wellness without good sleep. Forget about it,” Suarez tells me. “If you don’t make sleep your priority, then you will not be healthy.”

The Global Wellness Institute attributes the growing wellness industry to four things: an aging population, increased global rates of chronic disease and stress, the negative health impacts of environmental degradation and the frequent failures of modern Western medicine. In the case of insomniacs, the ever popular sleep drugs Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata and others received black-box warnings from the FDA—the agency’s most serious caution—in May 2019. Those turned off by the foreboding -packaging may turn to more holistic sleep-wellness methods. Sleep scientists have also been working to better publicize their research on the benefits of sleep hygiene. In 2013, the CDC and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine launched the National Healthy Sleep Awareness Project, which aimed to raise public knowledge of sleep disorders and the ways sleep affects health.

Obsession is the inevitable peak of any trend. While I’m at the resort, Suarez recommends several other ways I can optimize my health, including Wellness FX, a company that will run a full blood panel, and Viome, a company you can mail your poop to in order to learn about your gut -micro-biome. We have the ability now to analyze absolutely -everything about ourselves sans doctor oversight: our blood pressure, our pH, our urine, our poop, our genes. Sleep is just part of the cultural movement toward health obsession. A 2017 study done by Rebecca Robbins at New York University found that a full 28.2% of people in the U.S. track their sleep—with an app, a wearable sleep tracker, or both—and Robbins, now a postdoctoral fellow at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School, says she thinks that number has likely increased since the study.

All this data is what runs the sleep-wellness industry. Every major sleep-wellness company tracking sleep is collecting data—cumulative data. Eight Sleep, for example, says it has 40 million hours of sleep traffic logged. Alexandra Zatarain, a co-founder and vice president of brand and marketing for the company, says the medical establishment has “never had access to people’s actual sleep [outside of] clinical settings.” Six Senses, on the other hand, has complete data about how people sleep when they’re on vacation, thanks to their sleep programs. Companies theoretically use all this data to make their products better for the consumer, but they also use it for targeted marketing (perhaps to sell you a new pillow or blanket) or sell it outright. Some sleep-wellness companies more benevolently share their data with academic institutions to learn more about what it could mean. Eight Sleep is working on studies with Mount Sinai, UCSF and Stanford. Matt Mundt, who founded a company called Hatch Sleep, which makes a blanket cocoon sleep pod for adults, says he plans to announce a partnership with a major medical system to bring the product into clinical trials.

The sleep-wellness industry is made up of three categories of products: treatments (prescription sleep aids, homeopathic remedies, and doctor interventions like surgeries or sleep-apnea-treatment devices), routine disrupters (sleep trackers, meditation apps, dietary changes and sleep programs) and nesting (mattresses, pillows, curtains, humidifiers). Treatments are mainly performed and monetized by the medical industry and the hospitality industry (like this sleep retreat). Most of the buzzy sleep-wellness companies like Eight Sleep, Oura, Casper and OMI are creating products that fit into the routine disrupter and nesting categories. Eight Sleep, for example, sells a mattress that regulates its own temperature (nesting) and tracks your sleep to provide personalized coaching (treatment). The brand has raised $70 million over the past three years, with $40 million of that raised in November. Zatarain says the company plays to the public desire to self-analyze and self-optimize. “We want people to be asking themselves, ‘Am I sleep-fit, or not?’” she says.

Courtesy Six Senses Douro ValleyAn outdoor resting spot at the Six Senses Douro Valley in Portugal

After my first night of delicious, wonderful 97-score sleep, I’m feeling a little cocky. I—I’ve convinced myself already—am sleep-fit. Suarez is not so sure. “I bet you tonight you’re going to do worse,” he says on day two. “You’ll get an 87 or something.” The data, he says, does not care about my confidence.

I spend much of my second day at the retreat thinking about my sleep score. The keys to good sleep, I’m told, are simple: exercise; eating well; not drinking too much; a dark, quiet space; creating a wind-down routine; no screens two hours before bed; and a comfortable bed. The greatest enemy of sleep is stress. The main value of the sleep score—and sleep tracking in general—is not to affect your sleep, but to tell you when you need to change your waking habits.

“The biggest win [of sleep tracking] is in the behavior change,” says Els van der Helm, the co-founder and CEO of Shleep, which designs customized sleep programs. Through her company, van der Helm works to convince companies that employees’ sleep should be prioritized not only because it is good for them, but also because it will make the company more profitable. (Shleep itself raised $1.4 million in venture capital in August 2019.) At her presentations, van der Helm sees the same behavior again and again. As she describes easy things employees can do to improve their sleep, she suggests a wake-up light alarm. Immediately, everyone grabs their phones and orders one online. “That’s great, but can they be as passionate about exercise, or creating a wind-down routine?” she says. “The issue is that people love throwing money at the problem and just buy something and think they’re good. ”

The problems with our sleep—for those who are otherwise healthy—are often problems we can fix ourselves. “You don’t need any of that stuff,” Suarez tells me when I run through the list of products I’ve tried. “People say, ‘How can I sleep better?’ And my answer is, ‘How can you have a better life?’”

Making sleep improvement all about what we can purchase to help us also creates an untrue narrative around what that data means. In her study on sleep-tracking habits, Robbins also found a disparity in who tracks their sleep: the higher a person’s income, the more likely they were to track their sleep. “A very concerning aspect of the conversation around sleep is the message that sleep is a luxury,” Robbins says. “We need to remove the notion that sleep is a luxury and replace it with the truth, which is that sleep is something we all deserve and that unifies us.”

So on my second day at the sleep retreat—yes, a massive luxury—I do everything right. I think about my sleep score and forgo a second glass of wine, even though I’m on vacation. I think about my sleep score and go to yoga. My body and I deserve it.

That night, I feel terrible getting into bed. I’m stressed about the amount of work I have to do, and I keep thinking about how that stress will disrupt my sleep. Suarez is either a sleep witch who intentionally cursed me, or someone who knows what he’s talking about. My money is on the latter. I close my eyes and open them again only a few hours later, thinking about my sleep score. Eventually, I get back to sleep and wake in the morning to a markedly worse 85.

Suarez had warned me that some Type A people slept worse on their second night simply because they knew they were being tracked, but when Vera reviews my Night 2 results, she says she can tell what the problem was. The ResMed shows two scores for each night’s sleep, both calculated based on your movement in bed: one for your mental sleep and one for your physical. On the second night, my mental sleep was fine. It was my body sleep that was a disaster. I needed, Suarez says, to wear myself out.

On the third day, I sign up for a cardio class in the gym after a nice long walk. By the time I begin my wind-down routine in the evening, I’m already sore. In the morning, I wake up feeling refreshed. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way first thing in the morning. I roll over and check my score: 94. Success. The charts show that I had not only slept well, but I also got plenty of deep sleep. “I’m not giving you a perfect solution for sleep,” Suarez says before I leave the resort, “I’m just showing you what happens when you do things right.”

When I return from the sleep program, I feel better physically than I have in a long time. I find myself making decisions based not on my health, but on how they will affect my sleep quality. I don’t have coffee late even though it’s a struggle to stay awake back on the East Coast. I do my wind-down routine and spray my lavender spray and sleep hard through the night. The biggest change, though, is how often I think about my sleep, which is constantly. I join a gym, something I had been meaning to do for a year, simply because I know it will help me sleep. And it does work—for a while.

My perfect sleep routine begins to devolve even before the pandemic hits. At home, I fall asleep with the TV on watching Monday Night Football. I don’t have time to exercise every day. Unsurprisingly, I’m much, much more stressed than I had been at the luxury hotel with every amenity in the world and no job to do. I need motivation—inspiration—so I turn to Instagram, and I find @followthenap.

Alex Shannon is a “sleep influencer” who spends most of his time running the account, crafting cozy-looking images of heavenly sleepscapes. He started the account a year and a half ago and says he has noticed a substantial growth in the focus on sleep health in the time since. The boom in products has been good for him too. Every new supplement or sunrise alarm clock or mattress is another potential sponsorship. He’s one of only a few influencers focused solely on sleep, but plenty of general wellness influencers also dabble in sleep, and the content is there. More than 26.8 million posts on Instagram have been tagged #sleep and almost 4 million have been tagged #nap. Even now, when he’s not traveling because of COVID-19 concerns—he was often sent to expensive sleep retreats gratis, in exchange for posts—Shannon has pivoted his sleep content to his own home. And he says he’s had a lot of interest from foreign travel boards making plans for when the travel restrictions are lifted. “I feel like as recently as a few years ago, making rest and relaxation a priority was seen as selfish somehow,” Shannon says, “but with the rise of ‘self-care,’ it’s become much more acceptable to slow down and take care of ourselves.”

Part of that impulse to slow down has been engineered by sleep companies themselves. If wellness can look good on Instagram, it can make money. Just take the boom in Casper sales. Casper was hardly the first mattress startup to market, and it wasn’t even the first to roll its mattresses. But in 2014, the company encouraged customers to post videos unboxing their Casper mattresses and watching them unfurl. The influx of mesmerizing videos, all featuring Casper’s logo, helped the company become the leading brand in mattress startups. James Newell, a vice president at an investment firm that backed Casper, said in an interview with Freakonomics that Casper “would tell you they’re not a mattress company, they’re a digital-first brand around sleep.” It helps that Casper is estimated to have an $80 million marketing budget.

“Our brand ambassadors”—a common synonym for influencers paid to promote a product—“are providing their honest feedback and review of our products, providing potential customers with another perspective outside of our own,” says Julianne Kiider, the affiliate and influencer manager for Tuft & Needle. “The way we sleep is such a personal thing, so these diverse perspectives help guide followers to the right product for their own sleeping habits.” Several major mattress brands declined to share data about how much of their advertiser budgets are spent on influencers, if mattresses are given to influencers for free, and how well influencer marketing really works. But a scroll through major wellness-influencer accounts shows plenty of cozy bed photos with discount codes in the captions. Shannon says in this scenario, the influencer’s payment is often a kickback of the percentage of mattresses sold with their discount code. For him, it’s paying off.

“We all dream of being a little more relaxed, a little less stressed and not feeling guilty about indulging ourselves,” he says. That dream—of sleeping through the night and being more relaxed and waking up refreshed and ready for the day—is exactly what has made sleep wellness such a lucrative industry.

In March, four months after my visit to the sleep retreat, COVID-19 began to spread in the U.S., and the dream felt further away than ever. Several of my friends got sick, and I stopped sleeping. Then the Black Lives Matter protests began, and I continued to sleep fitfully, worried for my friends and fellow citizens. This time, though, I knew what mistakes I was making. I knew that stress was keeping me awake, bolstered by scrolling through my phone for news updates until 11 p.m. and not exercising and having another glass of wine. I knew all that, but I was too stressed to stop. One night, in a sleepless haze, I swiped away from the news and found myself browsing my old online shopping haunts. I added a new lavender spray and a set of pajamas to my cart, and clicked Buy Now.

McKinney is a features writer and co-owner at Defector Media

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eversall · 7 years

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Idk if you've ever watched Friends, but Jimon + the gang finding out about their relationship in the style of Monica and Chandler

i have watched friends and asdfghjkl i love monica and chandler and this is one of the best episodes ever so this prompt is extra amazing. obviously, all credit goes to friends for the plot. also, i want to point out that this fic by jess ( @softjimon) has more friends!jimon and reading her thing is 100% the inspiration i had to finish this one so quickly.

fool around like we’re sixteen and secret || jace/simon, 3k+, secret relationship + fluff || (ao3 link coming soon!)

In March, Simon goes away for a weekend to Vermont. Songwriting boot camp, he claims, he and his writers are sequestering themselves away for a few days to work on his upcoming album. Jace happens to be out of town that weekend too, because - as he tells Alec and Izzy - he was called to consult on a case involving an adoption scam.

“Since I have experience,” he explains, “they want me to be there for their initial analysis.”

Alec believes him. Why would Alec not believe his brother, his FBI case partner, his roommate, his best friend?

He doesn’t even think about it until the next Monday, when Jace gets back on a red-eye flight, grinning about apparently seeing Raj and Duncan together in an elevator in the hotel he was staying at, and they’re running around trying to get ready for work.

“I’m out of shaving cream,” Alec calls from the restroom desperately, “I can’t show up to work looking like I haven’t slept in seventy-two hours!”

“In my carry-on, use my bottle, I haven’t unpacked yet!” Jace yells from his bedroom. So Alec rushes out to the living room, digging through the duffel bag on the sofa, and comes up with not one but two bottles of shaving cream. One’s sleek and black, and the other is…Batman themed.

“What is this?” Alec asks as he smirks, waving the bottle at Jace, who’s walking out of the bedroom. “Discovering your inner child, are you? Your puberty-driven, cartoon-character supported shaving?”

Jace freezes, and his eyes go comically large. “Uh…I found it?” He offers. Alec raises an eyebrow, and decides that he’s not judging. He just doesn’t have the energy right now.

“If you want to re-live those hormone fueled years, be my guest.” He laughs as he tosses the Batman bottle at Jace, and then goes into the restroom to shave.

It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

But then, later that night, he and Jace go across the hall to Clary and Simon’s place so they can is wait for the other two to get ready for dinner - which, God, both of them are so high-maintenance - the only person allowed to be that high maintenance is Magnus, and Alec isn’t biased, shut up Jace -

But as he and Jace lounge on their (much nicer, antique) sofa, and Clary is trying to get her earrings untangled from her hair, Simon makes several trips back and forth from his bedroom to the bathroom, frowning and muttering to himself.

“Si,” Clary finally asks, amused, “are you…alright?”

“I lost my Batman themed bottle of shaving cream.” Simon says, frazzled. “I guess I left it somewhere in Vermont while I was away -”

“Oh?” Alec asks, frowning. That’s weird, certainly, that this is the second time that he’s encountering this Batman-themed bottle, but that’s fine. Coincidences happen. “How was Vermont?” He asks politely.

“It was great,” Simon’s suddenly smiles, his eyes going dreamy, before his expression smooths out into a smirk. “I saw Raj and Duncan making out in an elevator -”

Alec’s eyes widen and he bolts upright, just as the door opens and Magnus and Izzy waltz in.

“You what - “ He hollers as Izzy yells “Clary!” and Magnus says, loudly, “I think the barista down there hates me”, and at the same time Jace jumps off the couch, his face pale as a sheet, and tackles Alec to the ground. In the ensuing chaos and noise, Jace bodily drags Alec into Simon’s bedroom, and Alec splutters as Simon follows behind and shuts the door.

“You!” He says dumbly, pointing at Simon. “And - you?” His finger swings wildly to point at Jace, who rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” He says. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“So, to clarify.” Alec asks. “This isn’t some huge coincidence, you both went to Vermont for the weekend to…?”

“Romantic getaway.” Jace says, at the same time that Simon says “To have uninterrupted sex.”

“Uninterrupted - “ Alec starts spluttering again.

“Babe, don’t break him.” Jace says, amused. Simon grins as he grabs his hair gel off his dresser and starts styling his hair.

“Why did you both lie?” Alec crosses his arms and regards the two of them. “There were so many ways I could have found out, and discovering that the two of you fucked for three straight days isn’t the way I prefer.”

“We just wanted to keep this to ourselves for a little while longer.” Simon says, his fingers working through his curls as he glances at Jace through the mirror and smiles softly. “It’s nice to just be in our own world.”

Jace smiles back, and it’s embarrassingly besotted. Alec wants to bang his head against a wall somewhere, but also -

“I’m happy for you guys.” Alec says gruffly, and Jace and Simon both beam at him. “Stop smiling like an idiot, Jace. Batman themed shaving cream, honestly.”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Simon says, snapping his fingers. Jace snorts, and kisses him. And the way Jace leans into it, the way Simon’s shoulders relax, the way they both look at each other - Alec supposes it isn’t the worst secret in the world to keep.

Clary finding out is entirely by chance. She’s just passing through the living room when she hears the buzz of a vibrating phone from the sofa cushions, and she pauses and sets her bowl of popcorn down, tossing pillows aside to find Simon’s phone getting a flurry of incoming texts.

[jace]: u free babe?

[jace]: alec’s left to bother magnus or something, idk

[jace]: come over, we can do that thing you’ve been asking for since i can be as loud as i want now ;)

[jace]: tell clary ur gonna do laundry when really ur gonna do me

Clary shrieks and tosses the phone back onto the sofa, scrambling backwards and grabbing her popcorn. Mouth agape, she cradles her food to her chest and spends a horrified few seconds thinking oh God, is this karma for when Simon walked in on me making out with that girl in eleventh grade? Is this my punishment?

Then another thought hits her, and she straightens up and smiles, munching on a few kernels of popcorn thoughtfully. Laundry, hmm, is that the excuse Simon’s going to use?

She can’t say she’s not happy for them. It’s clearly been a long time coming, and they both would do anything for each other. It’s sweet. She’s a little hurt that Simon didn’t tell her, but she gets it. It’s their thing, and if they want to keep it a secret, it’s fine.

That doesn’t mean she’s not going to have a little fun with it, though.

Half an hour later, Simon finally appears in the apartment, after a long day at the recording studio. He groans, and heads straight for the couch as Clary watches, with no small amount of glee, from her position at the kitchen table.

“I can’t believe I left my phone.” He says morosely. “Clary, why am I like this?”

“Beats me.” She says cheerfully. “I like that you’re like this. It makes me seem like such a high-functioning adult.” She throws a few pieces of popcorn at him, and he distractedly grabs at one of them and pops it into his mouth as he scrolls through his phone. He flushes a deep red, slowly grinning, and he locks his phone and tucks it into his pocket.

“Got a lot to do this evening.” He starts saying loudly, heading into his room as he continues to talk. “Gotta clean my room, write some emails, do some laundry - “ He appears in the living room again, toting his laundry basket, which Clary suspects is full of clean clothes. “I’m just, ah, going to go do that laundry. Maybe I’ll answer the emails from my phone while I wait - “

“Oh, you’re doing laundry?” Clary asks, making a big show of looking surprised. “You wouldn’t mind doing a few pairs of jeans for me, right? I really need them before I head to the studio tomorrow.”

“Your…jeans.” Simon stops and looks baffled, and then, bizarrely, he looks around the room, like that’ll help him figure out what to do, and he sighs and smiles at her. Clary almost feels a little guilty when he says, sweetly, “Of course I can. Give me whatever you need!”

Izzy finds out in what she later claims is a worse way than Clary. She’s looking at an apartment in the building over, and all things considered, it’s going pretty well, until she goes to the window.

“Oh my God,” She says, laughing, “look, Clary, it’s Jace and Simon. We can see your apartment from here.” She turns, but Clary’s gone - presumably to the bathroom, she can hear the sink running. She turns back, and -

Simon has Jace pinned against the wall next to the window, holding his wrists loosely over his head with one hand and grabbing his ass with the other. They’re kissing like their life depends on it, with Jace shamelessly rolling his hips and chasing after Simon’s lips every time Simon pulls back.

Izzy is scarred for life.

“What are they - oh my God! No! Why are they - don’t do - oh my God!” She yells, skidding backwards with her hands clapped over her mouth. Clary comes tearing out of the restroom, hollering “What, what?!”, and then she skids to a stop when she sees what Izzy’s looking at. To Izzy’s surprise, she just makes a face and mutters a curse under her breath before throwing the curtains closed.

“God, yeah.” She mutters, turning to roll her eyes. “They’re a thing.”

“This is - wow.” Izzy’s almost stunned by the revelation, but not quite. Jace and Simon have always had a certain tension, and it’s undeniable that the two are romantics at heart; they’re good for each other. What’s stunning is that they’ve managed to keep it a secret. “Wait, how did you find out?”

“I saw some of Jace’s texts to Simon.” She shudders. “Every time Simon says he’s doing laundry? He’s going over to Jace’s and they’re…” She trails off, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, and Izzy laughs.

“Sex.” She says, enunciating the word, and Clary shudders theatrically. “Really, laundry is their code word? That’s so…sickeningly domestic.”

“Oh, not anymore.” Clary grins, perching on the arm of the sofa. “Now I ask him to actually do my laundry.”

“Oh you are horrible.” Izzy rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “They don’t know you know?”

“No. I’ve been having fun with it.”

Izzy thinks about that, and then a slow smirk spreads across her face.

“Not enough fun, I think.”

Alec walks into the room, sees Clary and Izzy whispering, and immediately backs out.

“Nope, I’m going back to my apartment.” He decides, but they look up and immediately fix him in place with their stares.

“Alec,” Izzy says very seriously, “we need your help.”

“For what?” Alec asks warily. Izzy gets up and approaches him, crossing her arms.

“We know something,” She says slowly, “and if we tell you it needs to be a secret - “

“Oh, no.” Alec says immediately. “Absolutely not, I’m not doing this secrets thing again, have fun - “

“No, come on - “ Izzy drags him to sit at the kitchen table. “It’s for a good cause.”

“What’s the good cause?”

Clary comes over and braces her hands on the table. “Jace and Simon.” She says, and Alec squints at her suspiciously.

“What about them?” He asks slowly. Clary and Izzy share a look, in that weirdly synchronous silent language they have - when are they going to start dating? - and nod.

“There’s something you should, um, find out for yourself.” Clary says. “Why don’t you go to your apartment and knock on Jace’s door?”

Alec immediately freezes up. One of the most unhelpful things about knowing his brother secret is that he and Simon are now taking it as permission to go at it in their room while Alec is still in the apartment. They’re quiet, sure, but the walls are paper thin, and Alec just really wants less of a sex-dazed Simon walking around. He’s terrible at chess when he’s like that, and Simon’s pretty much the only person that’ll play chess with him.

“Simon’s doing laundry with Jace.” Alec says slowly. “That’s what they said.”

“Go check.” Izzy insists. “Humour me.”

Alec blanches at the thought of what he could walk into, and immediately responds with a horrified “No.” Izzy’s eyes widen at his reaction.

“Do you know what I think you know?” She hisses. Alec groans and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what you think I know.” He says.

“I know you know something, but I’m wondering if what I know and what you know are - “

“Jace and Simon are sleeping together!” Clary blurts out, and then she slaps a hand over her mouth and looks shocked at her own admission.

“They’re not sleeping together, they’re dating - oh hell.” Alec says, when he realizes what he’s walked into. Izzy slams her hand down on the table triumphantly.

“I knew you knew!” She crows delightedly. “Now, you can help us freak them out!”

“Or we could all stop.” Alec bemoans. “Stop with the secrets.” Nobody listens to him. Nobody ever does, because all the people he hangs out with are idiots. (Except Magnus. Though, truth be told, this is probably why Magnus lives a safe distance away from all of them.)

Jace is baffled, to say the least, when Simon bursts into his apartment and screeches, with wide eyes, “You sister just grabbed my ass! She flirted with me!”

“She what?” Jace asks from where he’s perches on a bar stool. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure her hand touched my ass in a sexual manner - yeah I’m sure!” He says. “What’s happening?”

Jace never gets to respond, because Simon’s phone rings. “Oh my God, it’s her.” Simon wails, before he answers and puts it on speakerphone. “Hey, Iz!” He says as cheerfully as he can, while his face goes through a series of alarmed expressions. Jace frowns and hops off the stool to sling an arm around his boyfriend, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Hey, handsome.” Izzy’s voice sounds from over the speaker, and Jace blanches because her voice is low and definitely dipping into seductive territory. “I was just thinking about you.”

“And I, uh, was just thinking that I have to go! I have something I need to pick up, bye!” Simon says, ending the call and throwing his phone down on the counter. “Am I going crazy? Am I suddenly attractive?”

“You’ve always been attractive.” Jace mutters, pressing his lips to Simon’s temple. “Relax, breathe.”

“Izzy is trying to date me, there’s nothing relaxing about this.” Simon moans, but he eases into Jace’s hold, leaning back and letting Jace rake his fingers through Simon’s hair.

Alec snorts from where he’s sitting in his armchair, and both Simon and Jace startle, looking at him. Jace had kind of forgotten he was there, but Alec is being suspiciously silent, and his gaze keeps flicking to Simon’s phone. An absurd little thought begins to form in Jace’s mind.

“Alec,” He asks slowly, “does Izzy know about us?” Then he remembers all the fucking laundry he and Simon have been doing the past week. “Does Clary?”

“No.” Alec says immediately, looking down at his book. “Of course not. How would I know if they knew? I don’t know.”

“Alec.” Jace warns, narrowing his gaze. Alec flushes, but he dutifully keeps his eyes glued to his book. “Look at me, Alec.”

There’s silence for a few seconds as Jace crosses the room, striding closer to Alec, when Alec finally cracks and throws his hands up. “Yes, they know, can we be done with this whole secret thing now?”

“I knew it!” Jace crows. Simon leans against the kitchen counter and shakes his head.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad an attractive woman turned out not to really be flirting with me.” He remarks, and Jace points at him.

“Watch it, you’re still dating me.” He says. “More importantly, how are we going to retaliate?”

“Retaliate?” Simon asks, laughing. Jace crosses his arms impatiently, dead serious.

“Yeah. Oh, it’s on. Two can play at this game, and we’re going to fucking win.” He hisses. Alec springs out of his chair, looking at Jace in horror.

“Not more of this.” He says, aghast. “When will this nightmare end? And I expect you want me to keep this a secret too?”

Jace looks at him, and Alec flips him off as he stomps to his bedroom.

Which is what leads to the current ridiculous tableau that Jace finds himself in, peeking through a tiny crack in the bathroom - where he’s hiding out - and watching Izzy and Simon play a game of chicken as they try to seduce each other in the living room. He’s pretty sure Clary and Alec are on the other side of the front door and watching just like he is as Izzy and Simon play out the weirdest scene Jace has ever seen.

“You have such…impressive biceps.” Izzy purrs, dragging her finger down Simon’s chest - which is nowhere near his biceps! Jace grits his teeth and reminds himself that Simon is dating him, and that they’re just doing this so they can win.

“You’re quite impressive yourself.” Simon says, his voice low, and he moves in closer to place his hand on Izzy’s neck, hesitantly. Izzy visibly startles when he does, and looks momentarily flabbergasted before she soldiers on.

“You should kiss me.” She says, thrusting her chest forward. Simon gulps.

“Okay, yeah.” He says. “I wanna do that too.”

“So do it.”

“I will.” Simon woodenly places his other arm around Izzy’s waist, and Jace momentarily resists the urge to throw something at the two of them and separate them. Izzy and Clary can’t get the better of him and Simon.

“Okay.” Izzy licks her lips, her movements jerky as she leans forward. Simon does so too, inching forward, and the seconds tick by agonizingly as their lips get closer and closer, the space between them shrinking, and then they’re touching and kissing -

“AGH, NO, YOU WIN, I CAN’T KISS YOU!” Simon yells, jumping backwards and tripping wildly over his own feet. Izzy shrieks and points accusingly at him.

“I knew it! And why can’t you kiss me?” She gloats gleefully. Simon’s still breathing hard when he yells “Because I’m in love with Jace!”

Jace’s heart stops and he finds himself moving without thinking, shoving the door open and stumbling out to a stop in front of his boyfriend, whispering a shocked, soft, “What?” At the same time, Clary and Alec spill through the front door, gasping in unison and yelling “Oh my God”, as Izzy throws a hand out and accidentally knocks over a chair. In the ensuing chaos, Magnus appears as well, almost out of thin air, surveying the scene in front of him - Jace and Simon breathing raggedly, staring at each other intensely, Izzy trying to haphazardly pick up chairs as she watches everyone else at the same time, and Clary digging her nails into Alec’s arm as she bounces on the balls of her feet, with Alec alternating between scowling and trying to pry her fingers off, staring proudly at Jace, and smiling at Magnus.

Magnus arches an eyebrow. “Clearly, I’m missing something.” He murmurs, moving to Alec’s side.

Jace ignores all of them. He stares at Simon, who’s finally looking up at him through his absurdly pretty eyelashes, his eyes warm and a little fearful.

“Say it again.” he demands hoarsely. Simon stares at him, and takes a slow step forward, the corners of his lips turning up helplessly in a smile.

“I love you, Jace.” He says, and it seems to Jace like the world comes to an abrupt standstill the second Simon says the words, his vision narrowing down to the man of his dreams in front of him. This is happening, he thinks dizzily, this is real. He gets to have this, have someone who cherishes him and holds him close and makes him laugh, who genuinely loves him.

Jace breaks out into a smile, his veins thrumming with adrenaline as he says “I love you too”, and then they’re surging forward to kiss each other desperately, Simon crushing Jace to his chest as Jace loops his arms around Simon’s neck. It’s way, way too indecent for the audience they have, but this is the first time they’ve said those words to each other and Jace needs to feel Simon, as close as possible, needs to nip at his bottom lip and swallow down the rough groan that works its way out of Simon’s throat.

It feels like hours later when they pull apart to Clary’s loud coughing, and then Simon ducks his head, blushing bright red, and Jace rests their forehead together.

“This is so much more amazing than I thought it was going to be.” Clary says, and Jace finally turns to see her beaming at them. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Thank you.” Jace says, smirking. “I’m happy for me too.”

“Alec, dude, thanks.” Simon says fervently. “For keeping everyone’s secrets.”

“Don’t ever make me do this again.” Alec says flatly, and then his face softens. “Also, don’t break each other’s hearts. I’ll be out a brother and a friend, then.”

“Well, it’s good to see that you two are finally telling everyone.” Magnus says, smiling fondly at them. “You don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“I’m gonna kind of miss going to do ‘laundry’, to be honest.” Simon says, pinching Jace’s side, and Jace laughs, shying away from the touch as the rest of them grin. There’s a beat of silence, and then Clary frowns.

“How did you find out, Magnus?” She asks. Magnus looks at them, puzzled.

“I figured it out the night after they first slept together, after London.” He says, while they all gape at him, Jace and Simon included. “Wasn’t it quite obvious?” When everyone continues to look at him with various degrees of astonishment, he frowns. “How did all of you find out, then?”

They groan, loudly.

“Don’t ask.” Alec advises. “It’s a long story.”

#jimon #shadowhunters #jace herondale #simon lewis #i write sometimes #monica and chandler were my og goals i love them #and i love jimon so #there you have it #sh fics

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jacewilliams1 · 4 years

Text

What will general aviation look like after COVID-19?

Making predictions about COVID-19 is a fool’s errand right now, with a year’s worth of news happening in a week. When will schools open? When will sports stadiums again host packed crowds? The best guesses seem to change by the minute, so I for one am not making any predictions about these topics.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t think in broad outlines about the future of flying. While the medical community is focused on finding a vaccine and parents are contemplating the merits of online schools, many pilots are thinking about what changes we might notice at the airport six or twelve months from now. There is plenty of analysis to read about the airline industry and the challenges they face (a lot). But what about general aviation?

I’m obviously biased because I love light airplanes and the freedom they offer, but I genuinely believe general aviation will come out of this crisis stronger. This isn’t just wishful thinking; there are reasons to be optimistic about our small corner of the transportation world.

Consider why most pilots choose to fly in the first place. It’s typically for one of three main reasons: for fun, for transportation, or for a career. At least two of those three seem to be on very solid ground.

in the virus era, the isolation found aloft is a feature, not a bug.

Recreational flying should be relatively unscathed by COVID-19, at least once the expected recession comes to an end. In the short term, some pilots will be nervous about flying purely for fun during shelter in place orders, others will be worried about family finances with unemployment rising fast. But after these immediate threats subside, taking a Cub or RV-12 for a lazy flight down the river will be a very safe way to have fun—in the virus era, the isolation found aloft is a feature, not a bug.

Besides, with fewer concerts or sporting events, there will be less competition for time and money in the family entertainment budget. A flying club might offer some sense of social interaction but in a more controlled way, plus the option to fly for fun. Light airplanes could start to look pretty appealing when compared to some larger group activities.

Pilots who fly for personal or business transportation purposes face a slightly more uncertain future. Some people are writing dire predictions about how business travel and face-to-face meetings will never be the same. I don’t doubt there will be a lasting impact from this forced experiment in digital meetings, but we often overestimate how much fundamentally changes after a crisis. Business travel took a major hit after 9/11, but it did not disappear. Less than three years after the terrorist attacks of 2001, airline travel was back above its previous peak. The major changes were mostly in the type of flying (more low cost carriers, fuller airplanes), not the actual amount of flying.

In fact, I think this time of isolation may reinforce how valuable in-person meetings are. Certainly not all of them, but among your most important colleagues and customers there is simply no substitute for being in the same room—no matter how good you are at Zoom meetings. You might skip the handshake, but I can’t imagine major deals will be sealed from thousands of miles apart. My experience over the last month with Skype calls, Teams meetings, and Hangouts chats has been helpful for keeping things going, but it has also been very inconsistent and occasionally quite frustrating.

When this type of travel does come back, general aviation and business aviation will be highly preferred over airline flights. The certainty of knowing who you’re flying with is worth a lot, and those quiet country airports you visit by light airplane might start to look quite safe compared to LaGuardia or LAX. With good planning, a private flight can also save an overnight stay in a hotel and thus any associated concerns about additional exposure. Some large companies have long prohibited senior executives from traveling by airline, and more recently fractional jet companies have started moving their pilots around using empty legs on corporate jets in order to avoid airlines. These policies may become more widespread, at least for a while.

The desire for personal travel will be even stronger than business travel. After months of no contact with grandkids and close friends, I suspect many pilots’ first long flight will be to visit loved ones. What better way to do that than a Cessna or Cirrus? With avgas prices dropping under $4/gallon in some areas, the economics will look better than they did just a few months ago.

Anecdotally, I’ve found many people are rediscovering their families after being “forced” to be together for weeks uninterrupted. That statement sounds sad at first, and there have been some sarcastic jokes about the pain of home schooling kids, but plenty of parents have also realized that children should be loved as people, not managed like expensive assets. Maybe the rat race of school, travel sports, music lessons, and SAT classes isn’t worth it, and a family vacation is a better investment than a new Mandarin tutor for Johnny? If so, then a general aviation trip to the nearest beach or national park is going to be a great option. Such a vacation will certainly be possible much sooner than a long international airline flight to a country with strict quarantine rules.

Airline pilot hiring goes in cycles—what will the next one look like?

That leaves us with flight training, and this is definitely the biggest question mark. Just two months ago, the world was suffering from a long-running pilot shortage, with airlines taking elaborate steps to attract and hire new pilots. Some were even buying flight schools to fill the pipeline with prospects. Overnight, this “problem” has been solved. Will it come back?

The exploding demand for airline pilots has certainly gone away, at least for now. Many airlines have cut their schedules by over 90%, and some have gone out of business completely. Any recovery from this hole will take time, and probably major progress on the healthcare front.

But it’s worth remembering that the other side of the airline pilot market, supply, has not fundamentally changed. The demographic trends can’t adjust overnight, and the US airline industry still faces significant retirements over the next five years as the Baby Boomer generation reaches age 65. An analysis last year showed that the peak of airline pilot retirements would not hit until 2022 or 2023, perhaps right around the time airline travel is booming again. The military is certainly not turning out large quantities of pilots, so the best supply of new regional airline first officers will still be general aviation.

Some things will undoubtedly be very different at these flight schools. Health may be monitored much more carefully, so pilot and instructor temperatures might be checked alongside the fuel and oil levels. Yokes, throttles, and touchscreens may be cleaned thoroughly between flights, in addition to the windows. Some ab initio schools may operate like semi-quarantined campuses. Whatever changes we have to live with, flight training will be back—our pilotless future is still many years off. Plus, learning to fly is a one-on-one instruction model, so the solutions for flight schools will be easier than those affecting university lectures and other large gatherings.

Many pilots are wondering when this whole virus mess will be “over” and our aviation lives can return to normal. That’s the wrong question to ask. Sure, a vaccine will hopefully solve our problem one day, but COVID-19 is a fact of life for the medium term. We need to solve the health crisis in order to solve the economic crisis, and only then will we be able to deal with many of the problems unique to aviation. In the meantime, travel restrictions may lift, only to be put back in place if another outbreak happens. That uncertainty argues for flexibility and creativity, and that’s the hallmark of general aviation.

The post What will general aviation look like after COVID-19? appeared first on Air Facts Journal.

from Engineering Blog https://airfactsjournal.com/2020/04/what-will-general-aviation-look-like-after-covid-19/

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tripstations · 5 years

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Long flight tips to have a seamless travel experience

Traveling can be incredibly fun — even if it’s for work — but if you’re going somewhere far away, you have to get through a long flight (or several) before you can begin your trip.

Whether you’re an experienced traveler, or someone about to take your first international flight, here are a few tips that can help you stay comfortable and have a seamless experience.

1. Check which airline is actually operating your flight — not the one you booked with

While you may have purchased your ticket from a specific airline, or seen that listed if you bought the ticket through a third-party website, there’s a chance you’re actually flying a different airline altogether.

Airlines operate partnerships and alliances that mean that you may end up booking a flight on an airline’s partner without realizing it. That can lead you to go to the wrong airport terminal — not a great way to start your trip!

For example, even if you book a flight to Paris sold by Delta, you may actually end up flying partner airline Air France, both of which fly from different terminals at New York’s JFK.

To avoid confusion, be sure to check your itinerary before heading to the airport. There might be small text under the selling airline that says “operated by:” that’s the airline that you’re actually flying.

2. Try to avoid checking a bag — just bring a carry-on, but make sure to check the size

asiseeit/Getty Images

Checking a bag can lead to all kinds of hassle, especially if you have a connection or your flight gets changed due to weather. Plus, airlines often charge extra fees for checked bags, even on international flights.

Instead, try and fit everything into a carry-on suitcase. Lay out all of your clothes for the trip, and try and cut the pile down to something that can fit in the carry-on. You can also roll your clothes, which helps you fit more and prevents wrinkles.

This way there’s no chance of your bag being lost, and you won’t have to wait around at baggage claim.

If you do end up checking a bag, make sure to bring some spare clothes in your carry-on — just in case.

Read more: Startup airline La Compagnie found its niche as a low-cost business-class-only carrier. Now it’s nearing profitability after just 5 years.

3. Hydrate!

The air that you breath while you’re on a plane can be incredibly dry. Plus, when you’re sitting for hours, it’s easy to drink less water than normal without realizing it.

Before every long-haul flight, I buy a big water bottle in the airport. Along with the water that’s served during the flight, that helps me stay hydrated and feel better when I land. Some anecdotal reports suggest that it can even help you get over jet lag.

4. Dress comfortably

Dressing comfortably is especially important on long flights, even if you’re traveling for work and need to head to meetings right when you land. Performance workwear can be a great option. I usually try to wear comfortable sneakers that I can take off and put on quickly, and performance jeans with a bit of stretch.

If you tend to get cold, don’t forget a sweatshirt or jacket, even in the summer!

Keep in mind that some foreign airlines don’t have individual air nozzles and might keep the cabin warmer than you’re used to.

5. Bring whatever gear you need to settle in and get comfortable

Trtl

Whether that’s a neck pillow, a big pair of noise cancelling headphones, travel-friendly moisturizer, or something else, try and anticipate whatever you’ll need to stay comfortable during flight.

A crucial set that many people forget, but that can make or break a red-eye flight: an eye-mask and earplugs.

Melissa Vitale, a New York City-based publicist, always brings a pouch or small bag filled with essentials.

“A small pouch just for essentials needed on the flight,” she said. “For me: my comfy socks, eye mask, face masks, lavender oil, CBD, lip balm, laptop, phone, and AirPods.”

Read more: I took a $120 Blade helicopter flight from midtown Manhattan to JFK Airport — here’s what it was like

6. Don’t rely on the in-flight entertainment!

Many airlines offer seat-back screens loaded with movies or shows, but relying on that for a long flight is a mistake, says Spencer Howard, a travel blogger at Straight to the Points.

“Download your favorite shows, movies, podcasts, audiobooks, or whatever to your phone or tablet the night before, he told Business Insider. “Sometimes in-flight entertainment is great, sometimes you’ve seen it all or don’t find it interesting.”

Plus, there’s always a chance that the plane you’re on isn’t equipped with it, or that you end up with a broken screen and hours to kill.

“Also, don’t rely on airport or lounge Wi-Fi to be fast enough to download what you want just before you board your flight,” he suggested.

On a related note, bring a portable charger with you so that you can power your device in-flight, or simply make sure that your phone is fully charged when you land, suggested Charlie Barkowski, who blogs about travel at Running with Miles.

7. Bring any medications in your carry-on, not checked bags, and make sure to check local laws before your trip

If you do end up checking a bag, make sure to pull out any medications or equipment that you need and bring it with you onto the plane — just in case your bag gets lost.

“Pack all medicines and medical supplies you need in your carry-on, just in case there’s a problem with your checked bags,” Howard said.

Also, just because you have a prescription or buy a medicine over-the-counter in the US doesn’t mean it’s allowed in every country. Do a quick Google search before your trip to make sure that any medicines you’re bringing are allowed.

8. Figure out your visa situation ahead of time

With an American or European passport, you can travel to many countries without needing a visa. In some cases, you can apply for, receive, and pay for a visa in advance.

Other countries, though, require you to apply beforehand, and can take weeks to process. Be sure to check visa requirements as soon as you book your trip in order to know exactly what you’ll need.

9. Be mindful with the on-board booze

withGod/Shutterstock

Passengers have been imbibing in the skies since around 1950, according to Air & Space Magazine. However, that doesn’t mean you have to go overboard.

Aside from the obvious problems that can come from becoming intoxicated on a plane, you also risk becoming too dehydrated, or not sleeping properly.

Be aware of how alcohol affects you when you’re flying, and keep in mind that it’s often different than it is on the ground. Some people find a few drinks — and sometimes a few more — helpful on a long flight, some need to keep it to one, and some prefer teetotaling in-flight. Whichever way is best for you, be sure to drink plenty of the water you brought, too!

10. Enjoy the in-flight meals and snacks, but don’t overeat

It’s easy to eat too much when you’re bored, and long flights can indeed be boring. While it’s important to eat meals and snacks, you want to be careful not to overeat. It can be harder to digest during a long flight, so if you eat too much, you might end up bloated and uncomfortable for the rest of your journey.

Read more: An airline is getting slammed for asking a nursing mom to cover up. Here are the breastfeeding policies on 11 major airlines

11. Move around

Make sure to get up and take a walk at least every few hours, and to stretch your arms and legs periodically when you’re sitting.

Long periods of immobility in a seated position can put you at risk of developing dangerous blood clots called deep-vein thrombosis (DVT), especially in your legs, where blood pools when you’re sitting. The easiest way to prevent it is by simply moving every now and then.

12. If you’re worried about motion sickness or get anxious during turbulence, snag a seat towards the middle of the plane above the wing.

The wings are the planes’ center of gravity, so being above them can reduce the feeling of turbulence or motion throughout the flight.

13. Remember that you are your own best advocate

If something goes wrong — and the complicated logistics of air travel mean that sometimes, little things go wrong — try not to stress it. Delayed luggage or missed connections can be stressful, as can dealing with complex airline rules and policies, but a little patience can go a long way.

Be polite and informed when trying to solve problems. If you miss a connection due to a delay and you’re on the line for customer service, pull up Google Flights and look for alternative routings. Having a suggestion ready might be helpful when you get to the counter.

If your luggage gets lost or delayed, it’s an inconvenience, but chances are it will be found and delivered to you within a day or two. Buy whatever essentials you need, including clothing, and save all of your receipts to file a claim with the airline or your travel insurance company after your trip.

14. Enjoy the flight!

Long flights are what you make of them. They can be boring and monotonous, or they can be wonderful stretches of free time during which you can do all the things you can’t normally find time for.

“When else will you have uninterrupted time like that,” asked Joel Farran, a former executive from Chicago who’s flown internationally dozens of times. “Bring a journal and write, make lists, plan or imagine your life.”

Whether its reading a book that’s been sitting unopened on your night stand for half a year, catching up on the magazine that have been piling up, or enjoying some quiet contemplative time to think, write, and daydream, long flights can be a wonderful break from our usual hyper-connected lives on the ground. With an approach like that, you’ll almost be disappoined when it’s over!

The post Long flight tips to have a seamless travel experience appeared first on Tripstations.

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dorothydelgadillo · 6 years

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What is Remote Work? And Is It As Good As It Sounds?

Here’s a fun fact: Skillcrush (as in us, the team, right here) is a fully remote company comprised of dozens of remote workers. Every day, we log onto various platforms—Google Hangouts, Jira, Slack—and we get down to it.

Work days for us don’t look that different from a conventional company, honestly, with the exception maybe of the way we run our projects. There are team meetings, water cooler-esque chatter in various Slack channels, lunch breaks. We just do it from far-flung places like Los Angeles, Prague, Florida, and Finland.

There are advantages and disadvantages to remote work, of course (and I’ll delve into those later in this article), but the point is this: there’s a high probability that remote is the future. That’s why, today, I’m deep-diving into what remote work is, what it isn’t, and what it could be for someone who looks a lot like…yeah, you.

What Is Remote Work?

You might have heard it called “telecommuting” or even “work from home”, but remote work is based on the idea that work can be done from anywhere—within reason. The premise is this: thanks to the digital age, you can successfully complete projects and communicate with your team—even manage a team—without being in the same room or even the same city.

That means that rather than going into an office (or, worse, a dimly lit cubicle) everyday, you can work remotely potentially from anywhere as long as you’ve got a laptop and internet. Good internet is key.

How is remote work different than “work from home” or “flexible hours”?

Remote Work Versus Work From Home

Think of remote work as the umbrella term. At our company, plenty of us work from home, but others choose to head into a coworking space for part or all of the day. Sometimes people shift to a cafe in the late afternoon. And then there are those of us, like our Director of Operations, Caro Griffin, who work from everywhere (seriously, she gave up her apartment last year before hopping a flight abroad), courtesy of programs like Remote Year.

So is work from home right for you? Some people can work from their living room (so far so good with me) while others go nuts without the ritual of leaving the house. For that reason, before diving into remote job boards, it’s definitely worth considering whether it sounds like something you’d enjoy. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on remote work entirely—you can always look for jobs that offer coworking space stipends. Skillcrush does!

Remote Work Versus Flex Jobs

Our remote team also practices flexible hours. This is pretty inevitable given that we’re juggling multiple time zones.

Each team at Skillcrush decides on meeting times based on hours where they overlap (when our graphic designer in Romania meets us in video chats at 8:30am my time, it’s 11 hours later for her).

But “flex hours” don’t always equal “remote job”. Sometimes, flex can mean time-shifting working hours during the week or even job sharing with another part-time person, so it’s important to understand all the options. Here’s a roundup of five flex schedules you might come across.

The biggest distinction is this: a flex job is a role that allows you more freedom regarding when and how much you work so you can prioritize other elements in your life (like parenthood), whereas a remote job allows you the freedom of where you work. Often, companies and roles combine both elements to create a sustainable company culture.

Remote Work Versus Telecommuting

Then there’s telecommuting. This is a bit of a dated term (you mostly hear it when you’re reading outdated business sites), but a telecommuter is someone who works some or all of her hours from home in the same geographic area as the company. Remote work implies that you don’t have to come into the office at all meaning you could be living in Bangkok and talking to your boss in Berlin.

These days, some companies don’t distinguish between the two terms like they used to, so if you’re looking for a remote job, it doesn’t hurt to search through telecommuting jobs, as well. For the purposes of this article, though, let’s use the term “remote work” from here on out.

Remote Work: The Advantages and Disadvantages

Now that you know what remote work is, let’s talk about why you might like it (and why you might not).

Pro: You’re more likely to stay long-term

Remote work means you’re able to handle most of what life throws at you—including the moments that might have previously put your job at risk.

Last year, before I joined Skillcrush, a critically ill parent meant that I had to spend weeks aways from my office. Despite an incredibly supportive team and boss, that period of enforced flexibility was a major stressor. It meant I ping-ponged back and forth between cities whenever I felt like I’d been out of touch for too long. And had my company not been so understanding, I would have wound up having to take unpaid leave for all those extra days.

Not so with remote work. A laptop means you can work from home, on the road, and even (but I hope this doesn’t happen) from a hospital. It’s work that takes into account how unexpected life is.

Remote jobs also mean that if you’re considering maternity leave or your partner gets a job in a different city, you don’t have to sacrifice the job you love for the person (or future little person) you love. Warm and squishy, right?

Pro: You’ll have more time for deep work

Anyone else remember when that study came out that proved that work interruptions cost you up to six hours a day?

Those notorious “Hey, quick question…”s add up. Here at Skillcrush, we tend to stack meetings in the morning, meaning that the late afternoon is primed for deep work (I’m writing this massive article in uninterrupted bliss right now, in fact).

Working from home or from a coworking space where you don’t know the people around you means more focus. Another bonus: remote work is built on the belief that you’ll get your work done, not that you need to have your butt in a seat for exactly 40 hours a week. The result is that you’ll focus on quality not quantity, which is good for everyone including the company.

Pro: You’ll learn some seriously impressive communication skills

One could argue that it’s much harder to communicate when you work remotely, but I’d actually disagree. Working remotely means that communication is everything. It’s immediately apparent when the way you’re communicating isn’t working, and you’ll be forced to fix issues much more quickly. This is communication on steroids, and it means you’re going to dramatically improve every technique from how you present ideas to how you voice frustrations about a coworker. All good things.

Pro: You’ll feel healthier

A 2016 study from the University of Minnesota found that workplace flexibility lowered stress and the risk of burnout. So that’s better mental health. Then there’s the fact that working from home means you’re less likely to encounter this season’s flu.

Another big benefit of remote work on health: Forbes argues that while people commuting to offices reported that they were less likely to exercise and eat well, remote workers don’t have those barriers. Spoken from personal experience: it’s almost a treat to go to the gym at 5pm when you’ve been at home all day. Almost.

Pro: It’s one (huge) step toward ending the gender wage and leadership gaps

Part of the reason Skillcrush’s CEO, Adda Birnir, decided to build a remote company from the start was that it allowed women to have the flexible schedules they needed for personal priorities and successful careers.

Many studies have found that the gender wage gap is actually a motherhood gap. That gap also affects how many women become leaders within their companies. Time off, especially in a nation that lacks strong parental leave standards, inevitably leads to falling behind.

From the lens of intersectional feminism, there’s another clear-cut advantage: remote work means that you don’t have to live in an expensive city to work for a big name company or find a role that’s ideal for you. This means more opportunities for everyone, but particularly those who might previously have been excluded because of their location, background, or scheduling needs.

Con: You run the risk of feeling isolated

This disadvantage of remote work kind of goes without saying. If you’re used to working in a busy office environment, switching to a work from home schedule might get to you.

That said, many companies offer coworking space stipends or other programs if you begin to feel the monotony of your home office (and there are always coffee shops!). And a remote company done right involves a lot of video conferences and messages throughout the day—so you may find it’s not as isolating as you’d expect.

Con: You’re responsible for staying on track

Look, we won’t mince words: remote work requires a self-starter attitude. No one is checking to see if you’re working or how hard, you’re just required to get your work done on time. If you have trouble self-motivating, remote work might not be the best job for you. Then again, it might teach you how to take ownership of your work, which ultimately, is a great thing.

Con: You won’t always have immediate access to your team

Not to keep picking on Lizu, our graphic designer, but she signs off for the day (or her night) around 9:30am my time. That means that if I realize I need something from her that I haven’t assigned, I won’t get it until I start the next morning. Luckily, remote work means putting processes in place where those kind of moments don’t happen—or at least happen rarely. It’s all about doing proper planning (which we do through Scrum) to make sure everyone knows what’s coming.

Is Remote Work Right For You?

The big question, right? If you’re not sure if remote work is right for you (maybe because you’re one of those people I mentioned earlier who has a hard time self-motivating), we created a quiz to help you parse through it.

I’m tempted to make an argument that there’s a form of remote work for everyone, though. It’s just about finding the right one for you, which brings me to the next point…

How to Actually Find a Remote Job

I’ve only been at Skillcrush for about a month, and so I’m more than happy to answer this question for you directly from experience.

The beauty of the digital age is that there are job boards specifically for finding remote work. If you decide that a work from home, telecommuting, or remote job is right for you, you can go straight to the places where companies post more flexible positions. Here are a few of our favorites.

The 5 Best Remote Job Boards

1. FLEXJOBS FlexJobs has over 50 remote jobs categories, with positions ranging from freelance gigs, to part-time work, to full-time jobs, with remote careers varying from entry-level to executive. The best part? FlexJobs screens their jobs before posting, so you don’t have to dig through any less than reputable opportunities. The site currently hosts more than 20,000 work-at-home and digital nomad job postings.

2. WE WORK REMOTELY With a simple, straightforward layout, this job board is a catch-all of remote, work from home jobs from customer service, to web design, to programming. Living up to their stated goal of ”finding the most qualified people in the most unexpected place,” the We Work Remotely site connects over 130,000 monthly users with telecommuting opportunities. It’s your ticket to remote employment in no time.

3. REMOTE.CO Remote.co hand-curates their list of remote jobs. These listings include customer service positions, design opportunities, developer jobs, recruiter and HR roles, sales jobs, and other remote work (including writers, managers, and marketers). The Remote.co site also has the handy feature of allowing you to search or browse by job type.

4. POWERTOFLY PowerToFly is a dream come true for female job seekers interested in working remotely. PowerToFly focuses on matching women in tech with remote and work-from-home jobs. If you join the site’s talent database, you’ll then go through a vetting process and get matched for a paid trial (a 2-4 week test period) with a potential employer. The site was started by two tech-savvy moms who were dedicate to making other women’s digital nomad dreams a reality, and PowerToFly continues that mission today.

5. JUSTREMOTE.CO I got three solid interviews for positions off this board, so it’s definitely legitimate. It’s especially targeted at web developers, designers, and marketers.

These are just a few of the 25+ best remote job boards that we rounded up in another recent article. Told you remote work was the future, didn’t I?

Sometimes, Though, a Remote Job Means You Need More Skills

Truth be told, a lot of remote jobs are in the world of tech. That makes sense, right? If you’re building digital platforms and brands, you should believe that technology can do anything, including help teams work from any and everywhere. If you’re interested in a new career that’s more flexible, building up some tech skills might be exactly what you need. Take a look at our programs on topics like WordPress and User Experience or sign up for our 10-day bootcamp to learn some HTML & CSS basics. Who knows? This time next year you might be a web developer, fielding emails from Brazil.

from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2018/11/07/what-is-remote-work/

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theresawelchy · 6 years

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Reflections on remote data science work

It’s been about a year and a half since I joined Automattic as a remote data scientist. This is the longest I’ve been in one position since finishing my PhD in 2012. This is also the first time I’ve worked full-time with a fully-distributed team. In this post, I briefly discuss some of the top pluses and minuses of remote work, based on my experience so far.

+ Flexible hours – Potentially boundless work

By far, one of the top perks of remote work with a distributed team is truly flexible hours. I only have one or two synchronous meetings a week, and in the rest of my time I’m free to work the hours I prefer. No one expects me to be online at specific times, as long as the work gets done and I respond to pings within a reasonable time. As I’m a morning person, this means that I typically work a few hours in the early morning, take a long break (e.g., to surf or run some errands), and then work a few more hours in the afternoon or early evening.

The potential downside of such flexibility is not being able to stop working, especially as most of my colleagues are in Europe and North America. I deal with this by avoiding all work communications during my designated non-work hours. For example, I don’t have any work-related apps on my phone, I keep all my work tabs in a separate tab group, and I turn Slack off when I’m not working. I found that this approach sets enough of a boundary between my work and personal life, though I do end up thinking about work problems outside work hours occasionally.

+ More time for non-work activities – There’s never enough time!

Not commuting freed up the equivalent of a workday in my schedule. In addition, having flexible hours means that I can make time in the middle of the day for leisure activities like surfing and diving. However, it’s still a full-time job, so I’m not completely free to pursue non-work activities. It often feels like there isn’t enough time in the day, as I can always think of more stuff I’d like to do. But my current situation is much better than having to commute on a daily basis. Even though it’s been a relatively short time, I find the idea of going back to full-time office work hard to imagine.

+ No need to attend an office – Possible isolation from colleagues (and the real world)

Offices – especially open-plan offices – are not great places to get work done. This is definitely the case with work that requires a high level of concentration over uninterrupted blocks of time, like coding and data analysis. Working from home is great for avoiding distractions – there’s no need for

silly horse blinders

here (though I do enjoy looking at the bird and lizard action outside my window).

One good thing about offices is the physical availability of colleagues. It’s easy to ask others for feedback, socialise over drinks or shared meals, and keep up to date with company politics. Automattic works around the lack of daily physical interaction by running a few meetups a year. The number of people attending a meetup can vary from a handful for team meetups, to hundreds for the annual Grand Meetup. In all cases, the idea is to bring employees together for up to a week at a time to work and socialise. In my experience, the everyday distance creates a craving to attend meetups. I’ve never worked in a place where co-workers were so enthusiastic about spending so much time together – with non-distributed companies, team building is often seen as a chore. I suppose that the physical distance makes us appreciate the opportunity to be together and make the most of this precious time – it’s a bit like being in a long-distance relationship.

That said, in the majority of the time, isolation can be a problem. As I’m based in Australia, I probably feel it more than others – most of my teammates are offline during my work hours, which means that there’s no one to chat with on Slack. This isn’t a huge issue, but I do need to ensure I get enough social interaction through other avenues. As the jobs page of Bandcamp (another distributed company) used to say: “If you do not have a strong social structure outside of work then employment at Bandcamp will likely lead to heart disease and an early death. We’re hiring!”

+ Most communication is written – Information overload

As Automattic is a fully-distributed company, most of the communication is done in writing. The main tools are Slack and internal forums called P2s (emails are rarely used). This makes catching up on the latest company news easy in comparison to places that rely more heavily on synchronous meetings. The downside of so much written communication is potential information overload. It is impossible to follow all the P2 posts, and even keeping up with stuff I should know can sometimes be overwhelming. I especially feel it in the mornings, as most of my colleagues work while I’m sleeping. Therefore, catching up on everything that happened overnight and responding to pings often takes over an hour – things are rarely as I left them when I last logged off. I experience this same feeling of being overwhelmed when coming back from vacation. Depending on the length of time away, it can take days to catch up. On the plus side, this process doesn’t rely on someone filling me in – it’s all there for me to read.

+ Free trips around the world – Jet lag and flying

As noted above, Automatticians meet in person a few times a year. Since joining, I attended meetups in Montreal, Whistler, Playa del Carmen, Bali, and Orlando. In some cases, I used the opportunity for personal trips near the meetup locations. Such trips can be a lot of fun. However, the obvious downside when travelling from Australia is that getting to meetups usually involves days of jetlag and long flights (e.g., the 17-hour Dallas to Sydney trip). Nonetheless, I still enjoy the travel opportunities. For example, I doubt I would have ever visited Florida and snorkelled with manatees if it wasn’t for Automattic.

+ Exposure to diverse opinions and people – Cultural differences can pose challenges

Australia’s population is made up of many migrants, especially in the tech industry. However, all such migrants have some familiarity with Australian culture and values. The composition of Automattic’s workforce is even more diverse, and it lacks the unifying factor of everyone choosing to live in the same place. This is mostly positive, as I find the exposure to a diverse set of people interesting, and everyone tends to be friendly, welcoming, and focused on the work rather than on cultural differences. However, it’s important to be aware of differences in communication styles. There’s also a wider range of cultural sensitivities than when working with a more homogeneous group. Still, I haven’t found it to be much of an issue, possibly because I’m already used to being a migrant. For example, moving to Australia from Israel required some adjustment of my communication style to be less direct.

Closing words

Overall, I like working with Automattic. For me, the positives outweigh the negatives, as evidenced by the fact that it’s the longest I’ve been in one position since 2012. Doing remote data science work doesn’t seem particularly different to doing any other sort of non-physical work remotely. I hope that more companies will join Automattic and the growing list of remote companies, and offer their employees the option to work from wherever they’re most productive.

DataTau published first on DataTau

#Technology #Finance

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aerobell-blog1 · 6 years

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Secrets For Traveling by Charter Jet - Get the Most From a Charter Flight

Traveling by charter jet improves the comfort of your travel by eliminating many of the issues associated with commercial flights. However, some people fail to take full advantage of the benefits gained through charter flight. With these industry secrets, you can further improve your level of satisfaction with your travels.

Pack Wisely

Charter jet passengers often make the mistake of packing incorrectly. Some pack far too many items, making it difficult to board the charter flight. Moving several heavy bags makes moving the bags to and from hotels and airports difficult. Others pack too light because of space and weight restrictions. While it makes it fast and easy to move around, they often forget important items such as nausea suppressant, hair brushes, and other needed items.

Find out how much luggage the carrier recommends, and plan for it. Make a list a few days ahead of time with all the items you think you will need. Go back over it the next day, take off the items you won't need after all, and add on any items you forgot the first time. Pack up, and do one more check before leaving. You'll be glad you did once you arrive at your destination.

Make Use Of The Perks

A charter flight provider generally offers a number of additional services to make your trip all the more enjoyable. When you book a charter jet, be sure to ask what they have on the plane. This might include drinks, entertainment such as movies, and bedding for long or overnight flights. Many passengers are so accustomed to commercial providers that they become too shy to ask, or they fail to think about these additional services altogether.

If you plan this part of your trip with enough notice, you might be able to request specific meals, additional pillows, certain movies, and many other benefits. These things set private services apart from commercial providers.

Plan For The Charter Flight

Passengers often spend so much time planning their trip that they forget about the time spent on the charter jet. With such a large chunk of generally uninterrupted time, a relaxing trip is the ideal time to enjoy some of the things you enjoy doing. Read a book, work on a hobby or project you've wanted to get at, listen to your favorite music, write, or do any number of things you enjoy or would like to get finished.

Be Reasonable

The provider will do all they can to meet your needs. However, they still have rules and restrictions. Weather, technical problems, and space restrictions are good examples. The provider often finds these situations far more stressful than the passengers often do since the quality of their service is their livelihood.

Contact us:- Aerobell Airlines Address:- Hangar #17, Tobías Bolaños International Airport, Pavas, San José, 10109, Costa Rica Phone:-+506-2290-0

Website:- https://www.aerobell.com/

External Links:-

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elainemeyer · 7 years

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Traveling the U.S., in Bursts

This past winter and spring, I traveled to four different American destinations, Taos, New Mexico; Vail, Colorado; Asheville, North Carolina; and Austin, Texas, each for pretty brief spurts of time. The clustering of trips was unplanned. I am someone who likes to spread out travel to have more time away for one vacation rather than less time for more vacations. I think this makes sense both from a financial standpoint—you spend less money on flights, which are one of the most expensive costs of travel— and because you get more out of a place and can actually feel like you’re on vacation. Traveling for only a few days at a time means that a greater proportion of your time is eaten up by traveling to and from airports. If you live in New York City, you know that traveling to the airport, whether by train, bus, or cab, will take a good chunk of time.

Two of these trips were for bachelorette weekends, and a third was for a film festival that my my friends got into. Since I was in these spots for a short time, I don’t have a lot to offer, but that doesn’t stop me from writing about it!

Taos, New Mexico

In New Mexico, I went skiing for two days with friends, went to some nice restaurants in Taos, and spent a day in the town of Taos and another in Santa Fe and Albuquerque, as well as at a winery and vineyard between Taos and Santa Fe. My friends and I stayed at an Airbnb about 25 minutes of a drive from skiing. It had a nice long dining table and a comfortable main room with a big window looking out onto the parched valley as well as, of course, a hot tub. It’s worth visiting a winery in New Mexico, if only to see what a small operation it is. I went to La Chiripada Winery in Dixon, New Mexico, which felt more like someone’s house than a winery.

Recommendation Definitely go skiing at Taos. It’s much more reasonably priced than Vail (see below) and just as good of an experience, if not better. The restaurants and bars have a nicer ambience and are less expensive, and the skiing is great. Also check out Taos Pueblo, perhaps the oldest housing in the U.S.

At Taos Pueblo

Skip Santa Fe unless you’re doing a spa weekend with lady friends or have enough money to splash out on art. I was underwhelmed by this small city. It felt old and staid. I also went on a Monday which didn’t help. Read more about my travels in the Land of Enchantment.

The barren landscape of Taos

Vail, Colorado

I went to Vail because my friends’ movie was chosen to show at city’s annual film festival and spent one day skiing the large mountain. We stayed at a surprisingly inexpensive condo that was about a 25 minute walk from the center of Vail and 15 minutes from Lionshead, The condo had TVs in every room, including a huge TV in the main room, generic but comfortable overstuffed furniture, and a small balcony. Our complex had not one but two very nice, clear blue hot tubs. We were across the street from a stop for the city’s free bus, which is a nice service, albeit a bit confusing.

Going up the lift on Vail’s large mountain

Recommendation If your goal is to go skiing in Colorado, I’d suggest looking somewhere a little cheaper and more memorable than Vail, which felt a bit like Disneyworld’s version of a Swiss ski town. It’s posh, expensive, and yet not that memorable. That said, I had a great experience with one of the staff at Vail, who helped me deal with a treacherous morning freeze and get up the energy to stay on the mountain rather than quitting early. When my friend and I were at a bar in Lionshead, the bartender told us that O.J. Simpson used to come there a lot. What as he like? We asked. Oh, he was nice, the bartender said. Did a lot of coke.

Christina Ricci and Julie Delpy on a panel at the Vail Film Festival

The Vail Film Festival was a lot of fun. It was small enough to not feel like it was overrun with industry types (not that I know what I’m talking about) but large enough to have a good variety of films. We even got to see a panel with Christina Ricci and Julie Delpy talking about the challenges of being female in Hollywood.

My friend Keith and I enjoying the good life of the Vail Film Festival hospitality lounge

Asheville, North Carolina

I have long heard that Asheville is a beautiful, hilly area in the western part of North Carolina with a reputation for breweries and hippie-ish liberalism. But like many cities that were possibly once weird (see Austin), Asheville felt to me pretty yuppy. That’s not to say I didn’t like it. It had a nice downtown with good shopping and the countryside is very close. We went to a salt cave that was part of a spa, which is a manmade room of salt where you lie down for 45 minutes and absorb the atmosphere. I’m skeptical of its claims to health benefits, but lying down uninterrupted for 45 minutes with nothing to do but think or sleep is so rare that it was if nothing else a relaxing experience.

The old Woolworth Co. in downtown Asheville

Recommendation Definitely check out a brewery or two. We went to one of the most well-known in the area, Wicked Weed, and although it was busy and very much on the beaten path, the beer was excellent and interesting. I ordered two fruity beers—one with grapefruit, the other raspberry—and both were subtle enough to be enjoyable, and I’m not generally a big fan of sweet or fruity beers. Since I was in Asheville for a quick weekend bachelorette party, I didn’t get a full taste of the city or its lovely surroundings, but I would definitely recommend taking advantage of the bucolic surroundings.

Battery Park Bookstore and Champagne Bar in Grove Arcade, downtown Asheville

Austin, Texas

I had never been to Texas, besides a layover in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport several years ago, so it was exciting just to be able finally set foot in the Lonestar State–again, for a bachelorette party. There are few other states that have cultivated such a strong identity as Texas, and yet, I didn’t find Austin to be as memorable as I’d hoped.

The lovely neighborhood where we stayed

That’s not to say I didn’t like it, nor is it to say I saw everything that was to be seen. People in Austin were friendly, and we met a lot of fellow out-of-towners, as we seemed to be on the bachelorette party circuit, since we went to Rainey Street and 6th Street in the evenings and water tubing during the day. On a Sunday morning I went on a run to the University of Texas, Austin, which was about 1.5 miles from our Airbnb house. Austin reminded me more of Los Angeles than any other U.S. city I have been to. It feels a bit sprawled and has a lot of outdoor restaurants and bars as well as beautiful people. As you’ll see pretty soon, Austin’s motto is “keep Austin weird.” If where I visited was any indication, Austin will have to work pretty hard against the yuppification to stay weird.

I did not go here but this spot, near UT-Austin, looked cool

Recommendation Austin was more urban than I expected, so I’d recommend deciding if you want to stay in the downtown area, which is closer to the nightlife, or out in a more residential part, as we did. We had to take an Uber-style car service just about everywhere, and it would have been fun to walk or cheaper to take public transit, but the latter is pretty limited.

We went tubing for $75 per person with a local company that bused us out to the San Marcos River and provided tubes for beer coolers–which is pretty much essential for tubing in Austin (or anywhere?). Unfortunately, we didn’t get to Barton Springs, Lady Bird Lake, South Congress. If I go back, I’d probably try to stay in the South Congress area to be near these sites. The nightlife I experienced in Austin on Rainey Street and 6th Street was pretty intense, and I don’t think it’s necessary to a good time in Austin, though Rainey Street by day is a nice collection of houses turned bars and restaurants.

UnBARlievable on Rainey Street

Austin is paddling upstream against yuppification to stay weird

Generalizations about America

It’s not worth traveling America if you can’t come away with a few generalizations, de Tocqueville-style, and here is what I observed in my bursts of American travel:

America has a ton of sprawl. From every highway it seems like the same collection: big box stores, Macaroni Grills and Applebee’s, outlet malls, and subdivisions that seem like they have sprung up over night.

There are still regional differences in our nation despite the uniformity of the sprawl. For one, the sprawl was much worse outside of Austin Texas than Albuquerque, New Mexico. People are more likely to wear cowboy hats in Texas and black in New York City.

Affluent parts of this country seem pretty similar to other affluent parts of the country, and do not have as much of a regional tinge to them. Vail, Colorado, reminded me for instance of Greenwich, Connecticut, just with fewer financial institutions.

Despite America’s great influence around the world, it does not feel like Americans have a strong American identity the way other countries like France or Germany do. I’m sure are size has a lot to do with it, but I think it also has a lot to do with this country’s historic individualism, which is reflected in many of our towns and cities, many of which lack a nice center. More than other countries, our aspirations are for things that isolate us from one another : cars, houses, and private schools. Plus we have such high wealth inequality, meaning that Americans are living drastically different lives from one another.

Living in New York City means you get used to life without large grocery stores, dishwashers and washing machines in your apartment, and spacious restaurants and bars that have multiple bathroom stalls. So traveling just about anywhere outside of our fair city is somewhat like going to a foreign country. It’s a nice vacation from the tight quarters we maintain around here.

#America #travel #New Mexico #Taos #Austin #Texas #Asheville #North Carolina #American travel #Vail #Colorado

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