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666writingcafe · 2 months
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Preparation
Levi
Wow. Diavolo's just as bad as the rest of us, isn't he? I mean, literally jumping out of his office window to escape the Devildom and visit MC...that certainly wasn't on my bingo card for this year.
In any case, we do need to locate him. He's known to cause chaos whenever he's left unsupervised, and while I'd love to see a video of him go viral, I know Lucifer wouldn't, and I really don't want to sit through one of his lectures.
Thankfully, I have just the thing that might help.
"This is Crowe," I tell MC, putting the black cylinder in their hands.
"I didn't know you had a smart speaker," MC replies as they examine Crowe.
"I won him at an auction. Apparently he's a prototype. He's created by the Three-Legged Crow Group, the same company that sells D.D.D.'s. As long as someone has one of their phones, Crowe can track their location. All you have to do is ask."
"Sounds simple enough. Hopefully Diavolo has his phone on him." With that, MC asks Crowe to locate our missing prince.
"Lord Diavolo is located at The Drunk Hyena," it answers. "Would you like me to provide the address?"
"Yes." After hearing the address, MC appears shocked.
"Everything okay?" I ask them.
"I had no idea they had a location in the human world." I shrug, trying to hide my surprise. Clubbing doesn't really seem like MC's thing. Then again, Asmo is prone to dragging people to clubs, so who knows?
"The owners must have bought the building and created a portal. That sort of thing happens all the time." I pause. "Still doesn't explain why Diavolo would be there, though. It's the middle of the day."
"Perhaps it was the safest way for him to get here. People tend to not ask a lot of questions at clubs." That's true, I suppose. They're too caught up in whatever or whoever it is they're doing to notice anything outside their bubble.
At that moment, MC's phone rings.
"Good timing," they mutter as they pull it out and answer it. They tell the person on the other end that they're going to put them on speaker before positioning their phone so that it's between us.
"Who's in the room with you?" Oh shit. It's Diavolo.
"Just me," I reply. Diavolo breathes a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness. I was afraid it might have been someone else. I've been meaning to talk to you about that anime you recommended to me a few months ago. It's really good."
During my quest to manage my social anxiety, I discovered that one of my online friends was actually none other than Diavolo himself, which was weird, because I "met" him on a pretty unknown online RPG, one that only the most devoted members of the gaming community knew about.
As it turns out, Diavolo's secretly a huge gaming nerd. I don't know how he finds the time, since his duties as prince require the majority of his attention, but somehow he's up-to-date on the latest news in the gaming world.
It was definitely awkward at first when I found out, but then I realized that Diavolo just wanted someone he could geek out with. It's not like Lucifer or Barbatos would; neither one of them are particularly interested in video games.
"Diavolo, what sort of trouble did you get yourself into?" MC asks before he has the opportunity to start rambling. I don't have to look at his face to know that he's blushing.
"Well, I may have gotten stuck."
"Are we talking tight space, or something cursed?"
"The latter." He sounds like someone who got caught stealing. "This place has a cursed karaoke room where you can't leave until you get a perfect score on the machine's vocal accuracy challenge."
"So, why haven't you participated?" Silence. "Diavolo, is this a ploy to get me to join you?" More silence. Then,
"Maaaybe." As Asmo would say, he's definitely down bad.
And somehow I'm fine with that. It's weird, I know, especially since I wouldn't have been fine before. I would have been tearing myself down as I holed myself up in my room, because there was no way I could compete with someone like Diavolo for someone's affection.
That's not the case now. I can't really explain why I feel calm; I just do.
"You know MC can't come by themselves, right?" I ask. "You know who would throw a fit if they did." Diavolo sighs.
"Yeah, I do. Doesn't make any sense to me, but whatever. He can feel how he wants." He pauses. "Ask the others if they want to tag along. We can at least make something fun out of the situation."
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seoadmin · 8 months
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Play Non-Stop at Online Casinos
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Casinos have taken gambling to the following level. It has subsequent to global and can be accessed from any corner of the world today, thanks to the technological advancement and internet. Nowadays, it is easy to right of entry a casino online and integrate occurring gone players. Online casinos friendly to benefit US players are in gigantic demand. Players from all the corners of the world are glued to their computer screens for a dose of adrenaline rush and of course a unplanned to win the booty. Typically, online casinos sham on the subject of the same principle as brick and mortar casinos. The participants are concrete, the money is genuine and there are jackpots to be won. The game can be played online across the world by players from alternating backgrounds and cultures. Moreover, there are online tournaments and championships plus organized. In fact, there is a mass committee for gambling online.
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laflechanet · 1 year
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Nueva noticia publicada en LaFlecha
New Post has been published on https://laflecha.net/los-casinos-online-en-espana-pasan-a-dominar-el-mundo-del-ocio/
Los casinos online en España pasan a dominar el mundo del ocio
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En España tenemos una cultura del ocio especialmente arraigada, siendo una característica inherente de nuestro estilo de vida. La capacidad de pasarlo bien y de reírnos es algo que va con nosotros y, por eso, no es de extrañar que recursos como los casinos online hayan calado con una fuerza sustancial en nuestro país. Unas plataformas web en las que podemos disfrutar de todo tipo de juegos desde la comodidad del hogar, teniendo siempre sobre la mesa la posibilidad de llevarnos grandes cantidades de dinero. ¡Veamos cómo se ha colado esta industria en la rutina de muchas personas!
  El éxito de los casinos online en España
Los casinos online en España, al igual que ha sucedido en muchos otros lugares del mundo, se han convertido en un fenómeno de masas que acoge a diario a millones de personas. Unas plataformas web que han adaptado los juegos más populares de este tipo de locales al entorno digital, otorgándonos la posibilidad de probar suerte de diferentes formas.
En este sentido, ahora tenemos la facultad de participar en partidas de ruleta, de tragaperras, de bingo, de póker o, entre muchas otras alternativas, de blackjack con la comodidad de un ordenador. Es más, estas plataformas suelen disponer de aplicaciones para el móvil que nos otorgan la opción de jugar con el smartphone. Una diversión que llevamos siempre en el bolsillo allá dónde vayamos.
Así pues, dadas las prestaciones de los casinos online en España y de lo entretenidos que resultan estos juegos, a nadie le debería sorprender que sean todo un éxito. Todo ello sumado al hecho de que, en caso de acertar, la inversión que has destinado a tus tiempos de ocio se convertirá en jugosas recompensas económicas. Algo que no sucede con el resto de los gastos que tenemos en lo que respecta al entretenimiento cotidiano.
  Las casas de apuestas no se quedan atrás
Al igual que ha sucedido con los casinos online en España, las casas de apuestas online también han destacado especialmente en el país. No es para menos: el fútbol es un deporte que cuenta con millones y millones de aficionados y la competición nacional es una de las más importantes no solo en Europa, sino en todo el planeta.
Con las casas de apuestas virtuales ahora podemos jugar en directo y hacer pronósticos a medida que se desarrollan los diferentes encuentros de la jornada. Por si la emoción de ver a nuestros equipos favoritos batirse en duelo no fuera suficiente, con estas plataformas ponemos algo de capital en circulación para que cada jugada tenga el doble de interés.
Asimismo, puedes hacer combinadas de varios partidos para que hasta los que no sueles ver sean apasionantes. Una tendencia que no deja de crecer en nuestro país y que combina la magia del fútbol con la del azar. Jugando, claro está, con ordenadores o móviles para que todo sea lo más sencillo posible.
  La importancia de impulsar el juego responsable
A pesar de lo que hemos comentado hasta el momento, es importante otorgar una atención especial a la seguridad del juego. Una seguridad que empieza con nuestra propia actitud ante dichas plataformas web, sabiendo en todos los casos que son portales para la diversión y no un medio para ganar dinero. De ahí que desde las administraciones públicas se esté impulsando la filosofía del juego responsable.  
Asimismo, hay que tener presente que hay ciertos casinos online en España y casas de apuestas que no son lo que dicen ser. Que terminan resultando una estafa y que nos hacen perder grandes cantidades de dinero. No permitas que esto ocurra y toma medidas preventivas para cerciorarte de que todo se está desarrollando correctamente.
En este aspecto, tanto la base de datos de la Dirección General de Ordenación del Juego como los blogs especializados en casinos o casas de apuestas juegan un papel esencial. Dos puntos de referencia que podemos emplear para contrastar la veracidad de la empresa en la que nos vamos a registrar y, ahora sí, pasarlo en grande. 
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superkalyanmatka · 1 year
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The Guide To Winning Kalyan Matka
Introduction: The Luck of Playing Kalyan Matka - Fact or Myth?
"Kalyan matka Tips" is a popular game in India. It is a game of chance and the player needs to guess which of the 36 numbers will be drawn. The player bets on one number or a series of numbers and if he or she guesses correctly, they win. There are many myths surrounding this game and it is not clear whether these myths are true or not.
The first myth states that if you play Kalyan Matka for fun, you will never lose money. This myth has been proven wrong by many people who have played this game for fun but still lost money in the process. The second myth states that playing Kalyan Matka with rupees will bring good luck. This too has been proven wrong as some people have won huge amounts of money when they played with rupees while others have lost all their money when playing with rupees.
In conclusion, there are many myths surrounding Kalyan Matka but none have been
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5 Most Important Tips to Win at Kalyan Matka
Kalyan matka is a popular game in India. It is played by matching the numbers from the two Kalyan matka slips. The game is played for money and prizes.
If you want to win at Kalyan matka, here are some of the most important tips that you should keep in mind:
Basic Step by Step Procedure to Play Kalyan Matka Online And Win
The game is available on the internet. All you need to do is open a browser, go to the website and start playing. The interface of the game is very simple and intuitive. It is designed in such a way that it can be played by anyone irrespective of their age or location.
A chatbot interface helps players play with other players from all over world in a multiplayer mode. It also provides free bingo games with prizes worth Rs 500 every day for those who want to play bingo online for free.
Some Useful Hints For Playing the Game of Kalyan Matka Online
Kalyan matka is a game which is played by many people in India. It is a game of luck and intelligence.
It is also one of the easiest games to play, as it does not require any knowledge about the game in order to be able to play it. All you need to do is to register at an online portal and start playing the game.
The best part about Kalyan matka is that it has an AI chatbot interface which allows you to have multiplayer mode with other players without having to leave your house.
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offlinetarget · 2 years
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Games granny in paradise
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Granny in Paradise isn't exactly a tour-de-force, but it isn't half bad either so if you are a Lode Runner fan looking for another spin on your retro game of choice, or a Granny PC player after a portable version of your online fave, then Granny in Paradise mobile should fit the bill nicely. The addition of power-ups to the formula does indicate effort and, unlike some other more lazily repackaged mobile games, Granny in Paradise is a passable variant rather than a tawdry re-tread.Įven so, given that the basic gameplay mechanic is nigh on 30 years old, the game can get a little repetitive after a time and the absence of a level editor (as featured in the new PC versions) or any mini-games to break up the flow is noticeably felt after the first ten stages.īut don't let this put you off. The quirky theme is carried off with charm and the visuals are bright, clear and reasonably well animated. It's textbook stuff really and, as a port from a highly successful PC casual game, is hard to fault. Run, dig, climb, swing, float and tumble through 5 worlds and more than 170 levels, as you rescue the cats and outwit the minions of the nefarious Doctor Meow. You're given these after you exit each stage by climbing inside a large flower once all the cats in the level have been saved. Granny in Paradise Screenshots, Videos: Guide Granny on her quest to rescue her beloved pets. There are also flowers to collect that don't actually affect the game besides boosting your end of level score. For example, watering cans help you to grow vines that you can climb and umbrellas allow you to float gracefully down to platforms that otherwise would be out of reach. There are various power-ups around the levels that aid you in your quest. Pressing up or '2' allows you to climb ladders or vines and the centre point on the thumbstick or '5' digs a hole. To move Super Granny, you simply have to press left or right on the thumbstick, or '4' and '6' respectively. You can avoid the Tikiman by digging holes for him to fall into (like in Lode Runner) and when he's incapacitated you can walk over his head to lead the cats to the exit and safety. Of course, being a granny of exceptional superness, Super Granny is not about to stand for this and so sets about reclaiming her feline chums.Įssentially the game is a platform puzzler where you have a given number of cats to collect while avoiding Dr Meow's goon, the sinister masked villain, called the Tikiman, who pummels Super Granny senseless if you allow him to catch up with her. You play an old lady called Super Granny who has had her cats abducted by the nefarious Dr Meow when she is on holiday (what are the chances!). Or maybe it would - us young-uns are so out of touch with the elderly these days.Īt any rate, the paradise portrayed in Granny in Paradise is anything but conventional, even though its underlying gameplay - this is the mobile version of Sandlot's popular PC casual game of the same name - is itself a rehash of one of the oldest formulas in gaming's history, Lode Runner. What it probably wouldn't involve is perilous missions to save stray cats requiring the old dears to climb ladders, elude dangerous assailants and use overgrown exotic flowers as pan dimensional portals for getting about. You are solely responsible for adequate protection and backup of the data and equipment used in connection with using software MostFun Granny in Paradise - Unlimited.If a real paradise for grannies did exist it would feature Daniel O' Donnell concerts, bake sales and bingo marathons (among other clichés). The use of the software and any damage done to your systems.
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greyswheel · 2 years
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Deluxe blackjack
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matkabazar · 2 years
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Matka Satta
Matka Satta is an information portal dedicated to the promotion of the Matka game. We provide all the necessary information about the game, rules, prizes, and other information that can help you win the most popular Game in India - Matka Satta.
Matka Satta is a very popular game in India with 1,00,000 winners every day. It is also one of the oldest games in India with roots dating back to the 16th century. The game has become more popular than ever with new technological advances and developments happening now every day which further increases its popularity among people across India.
The game of Matka Satta is the most popular Game in India, especially in the state of Maharashtra. Matka Satta is an Indian version of lotto or bingo played with a pair of dice and a board that has numbers ranging from 1 to 90 on it. A player can bet as much as he wants but there are some rules regarding how many times he can roll the dice.
Matka Satta is a game of chance, but it also requires some skill. If you are new to the game then it may take some time for you to understand how it works and how to play Matka Satta effectively. However, once you learn the rules of this game, you’ll be able to play it like a pro and win some money from playing this popular Indian game.
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Know the playing style of your opponent before you start playing. This will help you make better decisions during the game and win more often than not.
3. Don't play multiple games at once
Playing multiple games at once can be a waste of time and energy for both players involved in the game. If one player is winning, he should end his turn by playing directly onto his next card whereas if one player is losing, he should stop playing immediately and try again later on or else quit the game altogether!
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supplyenergy6 · 2 years
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Uk sees a quantity of on-line bingo websites pop up even today
Online bingo websites win a predominant place these days. On the internet bingo video games pose as a single of the couple of games that stay unaffected by credit score crunch. Even though no doubt some of the players have lowered their bet and some of them have stopped getting element of these video games altogether, a thriving neighborhood exists even these days, on the lookout for options to make funds. So numerous folks are turning up to be a element of new bingo web sites that more and more web sites are turning up to supply these largely popular games. There can be times when you come back from function and there is absolutely nothing to do. Nothing at all comes up on favourite channel and it is not achievable to meet up with friends so late at night. It is not even possible to go to the traditional halls of bingo simply because it is late evening or since of a poor weather. Getting element of the online bingo sites will prove to be the best bet in these cases. The globe of on the internet bingo sites is relatively equivalent to by no means ending rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, highs and lows and the most important facet of these video games lie in thrill that are made a provision for in these games. Regardless of winnings and losses that kinds an integral component of these games, the game stays thrilling to folks belonging to various age groups. http://cellarongreene.com/win-video-poker-five-easy-tips-for-a-royal-flush/ On the internet bingo sites abound in Uk and they are growing even right now. Bolagila alternatif Uk looks to be relatively crazy about playing bingo not only in the land based mostly conventional halls of bingo but on the internet as effectively. Advertisements connected to on-line bingo are simple to locate on the Planet Wide Net. Especially consumers possessing totally free email accounts counter these ads each and every now and then. It is just important to verify out emails in purchase to find commercials of on-line bingo websites in the side bar. They are also advertised in magazines and tv particularly in holiday seasons like Christmas or Easter. United kingdom expects the advent of a really a broad variety of web sites in the coming years. In order to meet with improved competition of the era, a big number of websites are introducing on the internet bingo sites with somewhat strange names just to entice much more gamers into taking part in these well-liked video games. These internet sites come with much more players as effectively as advertising revenue apart from making a provision for totally free bingo games, advertising revenue as nicely as large sign up bonus in purchase to preserve the players loyal to their site. Yet another aspect that has witnessed huge scale increase in Uk consists in evaluations that are getting framed for a wide assortment of online bingo portals. These evaluations assist players a good deal in picking online bingo sites. It is vital to have a appear at the critiques since that aids in signing up with the best web site for taking part in bingo. Pals and acquaintance who take component in these games are better asked for an view as that also aids in signing up with creditable on-line bingo sites. 
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adultwheel945 · 2 years
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altermedium221 · 2 years
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reed00reed · 2 years
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kincaidlynggaard2 · 2 years
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ladyanaconda · 3 years
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Helluva Dad Vol. 1: Murder Family
"Dad, dad, dad! Wake up, dad!"
Striker grunted as he covered his head with his pillow, but it was no use as the intruder hopped on his bed. "Kiddo, unless there's a wild animal or a homeless drunk inside the house, go away and let me sleep."
"Daaad, you promised that you'd take me along to the living world this time!"
Striker took a peek at the clock on his bedside table. "Not at 5:36 AM, boy. Couldn't you wait until I'm actually awake?"
"What am I supposed to do 'till then?"
"I don't know, use your imagination."
"But dad-" Out of patience, Striker bared his teeth at his son, tail rattling. Jake raised his hands defensively. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving."
Once the door closed shut, Striker went back to sleep… For about thirty seconds, that is, until the door slammed open and Jake jumped into his bed again, screaming in fright and knocking the air out of his father.
"What the fuck, Jake?!" Striker all but shrieked.
"There's a spider in the living room!"
"... What?"
"Spider!"
"And why didn't you squash it?!"
"It's a big spider!"
Striker's eye twitched. With an irritated grunt, he got off the bed, rolled up a porno magazine on his bedside drawer, and stomped his way towards the living room, Jake trailing closely behind.
"I can't believe it, A son of mine is afraid of a tiny, insignificant…" Striker trailed off and stopped in the doorway. A hog-sized hellantula was tearing the couch apart with big, sharp mandibles. "Boy, go get the rifle."
Once the issue with the spider was taken care of, Striker found himself unable to go back to sleep after the fiasco, so he went to the kitchen and poured himself a big cup of black coffee before making breakfast. Thankfully, Blitzo wasn't inside his fridge this time around, though he made a mental note to go get some more groceries.
As he served the fried eggs and wild hog bacon, Jake walked into the kitchen. He was covered in sweat like he had spent an hour lifting five-ton weights. "Dad, wouldn't it have been easier if we cut up the spider's carcass and take it out piece by piece?" he whined.
"And make a bigger mess I'll have to clean up? No, thank you." Striker placed one of the plates in front of his son. Jake frowned.
"Puaj. Tomato."
"Stop complaining and eat, boy. It's good for you."
They are in silence for the first few minutes. Striker would subtly glance in Jake's direction every now and then, smirking internally at the boy's expressions while he begrudgingly ate his vegetables.
"So, ready for today?" he asked casually.
Jake's expression brightened. "How's the living world like? Is it cool? Does it look anything like hell?"
"You could say so. The only difference is that there are humans living there instead of demons."
"Humans? What are those?"
"Well, you've seen the clients at I.M.P, right? They used to be humans during their lifetime. When they died, they came to Hell and became Sinner demons because they did bad things in life. However, some of them have..." Striker toyed with his bacon as he thought of a proper word. "...pending business with someone in the living world. Our job is to finish that business in the client's stead.
"So… The people who go to I.M.P. are dead humans who want to fuck up someone who fucked them up in the living world?"
Striker snapped his fingers. "Bingo. You're getting the hang of it, kid."
"Hey, dad, think I could use the-?"
"No."
"Hey, you didn't let me finish!"
"Sorry, kiddo. I thought you were going to ask if you could use the blessing-tipped rifle." Striker replied, his eyes reflecting off the knife he was using to butter his toast.
Jake laughed nervously. "Speaking of which-"
"No."
"Come on, dad! When will you let me use those?"
"When you're ready, not a second sooner."
"And when will I be ready?"
Striker dropped his fork to place a hand on Jake's shoulder. "We'll both know. Until then, finish your breakfast."
*HB*
"Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!"
"Wow, I feel so loved here."
Striker watched, uninterested, as Moxxie pointed the crossbow with shaking arms at a photo depicting a human family. "If this were real, he'd already been dead."
"You're not helping, Striker," Millie growled before focusing back on Moxxie. "Just take a deep breath, and let it out."
"But it's a family. Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?"
"Who knows? Maybe if that's what the client wants." Striker said matter-of-factly as he polished his pistol.
Moxxie wasn't convinced. "Maybe like a shitty dad, or a mob family. That's understandable. But to eradicate an entire innocent-seemingly in this instance-upper middle-class family bloodline?"
Loona frowned. "Hey!" You don't know they're innocent! This kid probably sets dogs on fire, maybe this girl gets off bullying Australian kids online, and this guy…"
"That guy definitely watches," Jake added grimly.
"Couldn't have said it better, little guy." Loona shared a fist bump with the impling.
"Exactly! Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here."
"But-"
Striker had enough. "Allow me, Mildred." he stomped his way to Moxxie and picked him up by the throat. "Look, wimp, guilty and innocent aren't our business. We're assassins, not charity workers. Killing a target," he swiftly aimed his pistol at the photo and fired a clean shot at the woman's face, leaving a hole in its wake. His point made clear, Striker locked gazes with Moxxie, hissing. "Now pick a bloody target before I throw you out the window."
Moxxie fell to the ground with a loud thud. Millie handed him the crossbow again; he aimed the tip of the arrow at the father's face, trying to imagine it was Striker.
"I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all."
Blitzo slammed the door open at that precise moment, startling Moxxie into firing the arrow. It bounced all around the room, hitting the computer, making a second hole on the photograph, and striking the bottom of the eel tank. Moxie jumped into Millie's arms while Striker quickly picked Jake up from the eel tank when he noticed it wobbling.
"Daad, I nearly had it!"
Blitzo caught the arrow just before it struck the client's skull. "...our newest client!"
The eel tank fell and shattered, spilling its contents all over the floor. The eels burst into electricity, setting the entirety of the room on fire.
Striker frowned at Jake, who was stunned into silence. "To think that could have been you."
"Damn it, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!"
They were forced to evacuate the building as the firefighters arrived and did their job. Striker was sure that this little incident didn't leave a good impression on the client, but surprisingly she didn't cancel. Guess she really wanted that person 86'd.
"Way to go, jughead," Jake told Moxxie sarcastically as they watched the firefighters carry the eels into their truck.
"Shut up, you little brat," Moxxie murmured.
Millie frowned at him. "Mox, don't talk to Jake like that!"
"He started it!" Striker rolled his eyes. Moxxie is 'supposed to be the adult who shouldn't stomp down to a child's level.
Wait a minute. "Did anyone save the fancy book?"
"You mean our only ticket to the other side?" Luna slipped out the blue, fancy-looking tome from her clothing without bothering to look up from her hellphone. "Yeah, got it."
"And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie!"
"I thought my dad was your favorite." Jake pointed out.
"Who says I can't have two favorite people? Your dad's my favorite employee and Loonie here's my favorite adopted daughter. You get a tweat now!"
Millie drew the chalk pentagram on the nearby wall. The lines glowed an eerie red color as the circle expanded and the area inside transformed into a forest. The portal was open.
"Cool! Can I draw it the next time?"
"Maybe. Let's get this over with."
Striker would never admit it out loud, but he found these trips to the living world… relaxing. The air smelled cleaner, like trees and nature instead of sulfur, ash, and lava-like Wrath. Its landscapes were more varied, prettier, and calm, at least compared to Hell's ecosystems. This place was particularly breathtaking; a wide lake surrounded by forest and mountains with the sun setting, giving the sky reddish colors that reminded Striker of Bombproof's mane.
Jake seemed to be having similar thoughts. The impling was looking all over the place, eyes wide. "Whoah…"
"Hey, hey, hold your horses!" Striker picked his son up by the shirt before he could dart into the woods. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I wanna look around, dad! This place is so neat!"
"It's your first time on the surface, right? Don't worry, Jakey!" Blitzo pulled Jake into a hug. "Just stick close to uncle Blitz and everything will be fine!"
"Sides, you and I got a very important job! We're going to keep an eye on... Well, the house, just in case something goes wrong!"
Jake raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Millie, I might be a kid but I'm not stupid."
"Oh, I know you aren't, Jakey." Millie chirped, ruffling the boy's hair.
Blitzo, Striker, and Moxxie silently moved closer to the house and leaned against the wall. The former two peeked through the window. It seemed like a normal-looking household with a mom, dad, and two kids. The target was coming out of the kitchen, platter in both hands.
"That's gotta be her." Blitzo chuckled darkly. "Ready to do your cowboy thing, Striker?"
As he was about to point his rifle, Striker glanced sideways to Moxxie. The cowboy sneered. "Actually, Blitz, this one's far too easy. We should let Moxxie have her."
Moxxie blinked. "Me?" he asked hopefully.
"Well, I don't see another Moxxie around here, do you?"
"He's right, Mox. This one's simple enough for you to handle."
Moxxie's face fell after peering into the house. "It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital."
"You snooze, you lose, Mox."
Striker readied his rifle, taking a few steps back to aim. He set his eyes on the blonde human female, licking his lips in anticipation. "I've got you, bitch."
"Wait, are we actually killing a family?" Moxxie asked.
"No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother." Striker positioned the rifle as it clicked.
"Yeah, we're ruining a family," Blitzo added cheerily.
"B-But… hold on, hold on. Let's just think about it."
He was pulling the trigger when the rifle was suddenly pushed upwards. The movement made the bullet miss its target by a few inches, hitting a mirror instead.
"Why, you-!" Striker grabbed Moxxie's throat, hissing and rattling his tail.
"What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!" Blitzo snapped. Moxxie seemed to go into a panic attack of sorts, prompting Striker to release him.
"I'm sorry!" he cried, tears in his eyes. "They just seemed so wholesome and happy, I panicked!"
Striker rubbed his temple, murmuring under his breath while Blitzo facepalmed. "Get the fuck over it, you baby dick-!"
PAM!
Striker roared in pain as a bullet blasted through the wall, hitting him in the arm. He gripped the wound as blood scurried out of the wound. Fuck, and on his aiming arm!
"New hole! Scatter!"
"Dad!"
Jake's voice brought Striker out of his daze. The last thing he saw before something struck his head was Millie picking his son up and fleeing the scene. Everything went black afterward.
As consciousness returned, Striker felt as if he had been trampled over by a stampede. His head hurt like hell and his wounded arm was no better. He tried to move but found himself unable to. Something was binding his hands behind his torso.
"Striker! Wake up, partner!"
"Wha…? Moxxie?" As his eyes got adjusted to the darkness, Striker realized he was tied up in a bizarre chair, hands tightly bound behind his back. Moxxie was in a similar dilemma on the chair to his right. "What the fuck?!"
"Thank satan you're awake! We're in deep shit!"
"You think?" Striker hissed. "Moxxie, I swear, if those bloody humans don't kill you, I will!"
"Hey, you can't blame me for us getting caught!"
"Oh, really? None of this would be happening if I had hit the target and been done with it! God damn it, Moxxie, I had a clean shot and you made me miss!"
"H-How can you kill a mother and leave orphaned children when you have a kid yourself?!"
"Because that's what we were paid for, for Satan's sake!"
They could have continued to argue if it weren't for the two presences in the room. As they looked around, they saw the two kids from before. He might have confused the little shits with implings if they had horns and red skin; their glowing red eyes and devious sharp grins would make the sadistic smirks of the Princes of Hell look like nervous smiles.
Moxxie chuckled nervously. "Well hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?"
The children spoke simultaneously in a low, almost inhuman voice. "It's nice to have new critters to play with."
If he didn't know any better, Striker might have thought they were in the Cannibal Colony back in Hell. The entire room was adorned with human heads, limbs, and even organs. The 'food' on the table consisted of a roasted fully-grown man with livers and kidneys as side dishes.
"Moxxie, when we're out of this ordeal, I'm going to fucking pummel you." Striker hissed.
They struggled against the ropes, but the kids had made a surprisingly good job with those knots. They were good enough to impress even Striker himself, and he was an ace when it came to tying up knots. Sadly, there was little he could do with an injured arm and Moxxie's wimpy little arms were hopeless. Striker growled. If only he could reach his knife…
A light outside the window caught his eye. Then a second appeared, then a third, fourth, as if someone was lighting up torches. Striker paled.
"Jake!"
"Millie!"
Both imps shared a concerned glance. The girl pulled out a serrated knife on Moxxie; to Striker's surprise, the wimp pushed the chair backward and fell on top of her. He took advantage of the distraction, using his tail to pull his knife out of his boot and expertly slice through the ropes. Once free, Striker sent the boy flying against the wall with a kick. Moxxie, too, had managed to free himself with the girl's own knife.
Striker tipped his hat with his good arm. "Not bad, wimp."
"Can you move?"
"I'm not limp, it's just a scratch." Striker wrapped his red bandanna around the wound and pulled out his pistol. "Now let's blow a hole through that bitch's skull."
*HB*
Jake had never been so frightened in his entire life. Well, maybe that time when he nearly got eaten by a serpent, but it was different. At least his father had been there to save him. But this time it was him who got hurt and there was nothing Jake could do to help. He tried to save Millie when she got K.O.'d, but he stood no chance against a fully-grown human and was knocked out as well. When he regained consciousness, he found himself tied to a stake in-between Millie and Blitzo.
"Striker had that fucking shot. Goddammit, Moxxie."
The crazy woman was cackling evilly as she held up a torch. "Satan! We return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work!"
The torch landed a few feet away from the logs, setting them aflame. The fire rose up around them as Martha laughed maniacally… until she realized they weren't screeching in agony. Blitzo snorted.
"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't actually hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard."
Jake blinked. "She's a dude?"
"Grown-up stuff, kiddo. You should ask your daddy about it."
"Well, I'll just shoot you in your smart ass mouth!" Jake gulped as Martha pulled out a rifle on them.
"That would be more effective."
"Blitzo!"
Jake closed his eyes shut, whimpering as he heard the familiar click on the rifle. There were two gunshots, but he heard no screams from Blitzo, Millie, or his own throat, and no searing pain. Jake opened an eye warily. There were two smoking holes in the sockets where Martha's eyes once were. Her body collapsed to the ground, lifeless.
A few steps back were none other than Moxxie and dad, both holding their pistols.
"Moxxie! Striker!"
"Dad!"
"You're not getting your god damn paycheck for this one, Moxxie!"
As Moxxie untied the ropes, Jake jumped right into his father's embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck. Meanwhile, Moxxie and Millie hugged and nuzzled each other affectionately.
"I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise."
"Apology accepted." Blitzo pulled Moxxie into a hug, but Striker noticed he was whispering something threatening (apparently), judging by Moxxie's expression.
He waited until Blitzo let go to punch Moxxie with such force that he fell to the ground.
"What the fuck, Striker?!"
"I keep my promises, Mox."
*HB*
Striker wasn't very fond of parties. Frankly, he just wanted to go home, fall to his bed, and sleep, but Jake begged him to stay a little longer to eat cake. After what the boy just went through, he didn't have the heart to say no, so he conceded. Besides, the look on Moxxie's face was fun to look at. He had no idea what put the wimp in such a mood, but he had the feeling it had to do with what remained of the target's bloodline.
"You sure you can ride back home with that arm? I wouldn't like to lose my best shooting asset!" Blitzo protested as he climbed onto Bombproof's saddle, Jake seated in front of him.
"Big deal, it's just a scratch. Nothin' to worry about, Blitz." Striker grabbed the reins with his good arm, the injured one resting on a sling.
Bombproof moved at a slow pace, so it'd take them longer than usual to get home. Millie had once suggested that he and Jake move to Imp City; there was a vacant apartment in the building she and Moxxie lived in and she'd be thrilled at the idea of being neighbors (Moxxie, of course, didn't share the sentiment). Striker regretfully declined the offer (to Moxxie's relief). He was a country person at heart and would rather stay in Wrath. Besides, he wanted his son to experience the ups and downs of rural life.
A loud yawn made him look down. "Tired?"
"No, just resting my eyes," Jake said simply, but the exhaustion in his voice said otherwise. Striker chuckled.
"How about you 'rest yer eyes' for a while, then? I'll wake you up when we get home."
"Really, dad, I'm not tired…" Jake trailed off as he leaned back against his father, resting his chest against his chest.
Striker smiled a bit as he ruffled the boy's hair. "Surely not, kiddo. Surely not."
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dessam · 4 years
Text
A little pre-Weapon XI AU thing centered around the retelling of how Devin died and the half-truths Max likes to spin.
Warnings for violence, blood mention, and backstabbing
Or: if two Plumbers were on a mission escaping a heliokinetic psychopath and one shot the other in the back would that be fucked up or what?
The universe always seemed to get the last laugh in, no matter what Devin was doing.
“Max, he’s getting closer!” 
Whether it was trying to make breakfast only to realize he didn’t have any eggs, or attempting to stop a galactic warlord from consuming stars on the weekend, he was always somehow the butt of a sick joke. 
This joke’s name was Ragnarok, and Devin wanted nothing more than to wash his hands of the monster. He’d also like to wash his hands of the stupid, stupid man in the co-pilot’s seat next to him.
“Ship won’t go any faster, Devin!” Max hollers back.
Rolling his eyes, Devin mutters under his breath: “Have you tried flapping your arms?”
His current partner - a certain Magister Maxwell Tennyson - seems to find the whole bit some sort of joke, and was laughing through their last narrow escape from Ragnarok. Tennyson isn’t at all perturbed by the villain rapidly gaining on them, and a little voice in the back of Devin’s mind pipes up to remind him: you can’t trust a single one of them, not even your partner.
Which, obviously, was a lesson he had known long before he became a Red Spot, but was now a mantra he spoke every single time an incident like this happened. 
Of all the bloody people to be partnered with, Maxwell Tennyson was a name at the bottom of a long, long list of Plumbers that--
“You with me?”
A voice cuts through Devin’s thoughts, and his partner is looking at him from the corner of his eye, grinning.
“What?” He says shortly, on edge.
“I said: Ragnarok really wants what we took, huh?”
Devin bites his tongue, resists the urge to snarl back that it’s his fault they’re in this bloody mess, that they had the element of stealth right until Max had to blunder their escape and alert every being with working cochlear nerves they were onboard Ragnarok’s ship. 
“We couldn’t let him slaughter six billion people just to get his hands on the Sun’s energy,” he says instead, shooting Max a mocking grin. “Not my fault he didn’t like you stealing the key that activated his energy vortex. You’re welcome, by the way, for me bailing you out of there.”
Max’s expression falls immediately, eyes snapping forward and hands tensing on the ship’s controls, all comradery gone. Devin’s partner was never very good at saying thank you.
CRACK
Lurching in his seat with a grunt, the bulkhead rattles around Devin as the nav system sputters and whines before fading, and he watches with dread as glowing instruments suddenly wink out one by one, the ship going dark. 
Next to him, frantically flicking switches and checking the backup system as it flashes a warning red, Max looks at Devin with wide eyes.
“Blast took out our engine couplings, our shields...we’re dead in space.”
Oh so slowly, a shadow overtakes them, plunging their vessel into darkness. 
Swallowing hard, Devin tests the controls, tries to think of their fastest way out of here, all while Max just stares dumbfounded up at the massive ship overtaking them. 
There’s a hissing vhmm from the rear door, and Devin glances back as the massive form of Ragnarok materializes in a blue haze onto their ship. 
Red eyes boring into his own, the warlord sneers at the two Plumbers, back straightened and fists clenched at his sides. 
“Where did you hide my key?” He speaks in a low snarl, lip curling back to reveal ugly yellowed teeth.
Devin shares a short look with Max, sees the gears turning in his partner’s brain.
Fuck this, he decides. 
Standing and drawing both of his blasters, Devin unloads shot after shot at the ship’s newest arrival, and the human next to him takes just a moment longer before standing and unloading the clip of his weapon at Ragnarok just the same. 
Ragnarok seems unperturbed, smoke clearing as the plasmabolts fizzle out, not a scratch on him. Devin growls, lunging behind cover with Max just as a vibrant yellow blast from Ragnarok takes out their ship’s main console with a resounding BOOM!
The blue halogen lights of the backup systems flicker before maintaining, secondary life support still online and running smoothly. 
It does little to calm Devin’s nerves as he presses his back to the offhand weapon’s console, and glances to Max at his side. 
His partner looks pale, staring straight ahead with his jaw clenched and right hand clutching his blaster. Devin watches him reload the clip in one movement without looking, recognizing the confirmed remaining charge of the weapon: seventy-three percent, glowing in luminous green. 
“I’m going to go for the Null Void projector,” he grips Max’s arm for a moment, forcing the human to look at him. “Cover me, understand?”
“Devin, wait--”
But he’s already up, sprinting towards the main weapon rack on the far wall, ducking under another blast from Ragnarok that singes the hair on the back of his neck. Behind him, he can hear Max swear something in terran before more plasmabolts are fired off, and Ragnarok roars in frustration. 
Devin slams his hand on the access panel, snatches the mobile Null Void projector from its rack just as another blast nearly takes him out, the explosion throwing him back against the port window and sending the Null Void projector clattering into the corner. 
“Devin!” Max hollars, lunging out from behind cover and sending another round of bolts at Ragnarok. 
The heliokinetic monster is grinning now, yellow energy glowing in his palms as he slowly stalks towards Max, and Devin has a split second to think before he focuses on an exposed electrical panel inches away.
Bingo. 
Yanking a glove off with his teeth, he grabs one of the loose wires as he stands and lets the raw energy pulse through his body, instantly feeling woozy. 
He only needs a short charge - thirty-five hundred watts should be enough - and the electricity extends from the fingertips of his left hand to the fingertips to his right hand, gathering at his wrist. Devin narrows his eyes, focuses, and fires.
A sharp blast of energy sparks off, lancing out to strike Ragnarok square in the back. 
He screams, sinks to one knee, and Devin grins in triumph, dropping the wire. 
The heavy smell of ozone hangs in the cockpit, and he tries to shake off the last jitters of electricity sparking off his hands before snatching the Null Void projector off the floor, levelling it at Ragnarok’s torso.
“Any last words?” He asks, unable to help the smug smile that crosses his face.
“You will know true suffering, Osmosian,” Ragnarok spits, pupils dots in a sea of dark red and yellow as he stares unblinking back at Devin. “This isn’t over, none of it. As long as you’re alive--”
Devin scoffs, flicks the trigger, and Ragnarok’s words turn to an enraged scream as he’s sucked backwards through the warped portal of the Null Void.
“Blah blah blah, you'll rue the day, et cetera. I’ve heard it all before.” Devin grins, sheathing the Null Void projector and inspecting the dark smear where Ragnarok once stood. 
He can hear his partner stand, and turns to double-check their nav system.
“Computers will need a reboot, but we should still be able to get a signal out for pickup. Could be worse, I suppose.” He sighs, drags a hand down his face, feels the start of a migraine coming on. “Not a bad shot, eh Max--?”
POW!
Blindingly white-hot pain overtakes him as he hears the sound of a blaster go off. Staggering, falling to one knee, hysteria instantly grips Devin’s mind. 
I’ve been shot. Max shot me.
His thoughts are confirmed as he collapses onto his side, glancing up blearily at the shape of his partner, silhouetted by the ship’s overhead lights. 
“I’m sorry, Devin, I’m so sorry. I had my orders.” Max rasps out, crouching beside him, taking one of his hands in his own.
Devin almost wants to laugh, or scream. To tell Max he’s a brainwashed idiot, that things didn’t have to be like this, that he could’ve found another way. Really, he doesn’t even know why he’s surprised at this point.
“Orders, eh?” He chokes out, tasting copper. “So Ragnarok was a distraction, to get me to slip up?”
Max shakes his head, squeezes Devin’s hand.
“No. Ragnarok was...he was supposed to finish you off back on his ship, quick and clean. But if you want something done right…Devin, I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know,” Devin gasps, agony shooting through his body with each syllable. “Max just, please, promise me one thing.”
His partner squeezes his hand a little tighter, nodding.
“Tell my wife and son I love them.”
Any compassion drains from Max’s face, taken over by horror and dawning realization. 
“Your what.”
Devin grins, finally knowing he got the last laugh in. Fuck you, universe.
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