#only 10 mins left thank fuck

[kiwidotcom]

watching a movie my coworker recommended

and I know he's going to ask me about it tomorrow

I hate making people feel bad but.... kind of wish he hadn't recommended a movie to me that largely involves race war.....

and it further reminding me how much people just don't care or think about what's happening

[katzs-gameblr]

Im dying i desperately need to read stobotnik fanfiction within the next hour and a half or i will drop dead

[fluffyomorashii]

I live across from a bar grill type restaurant so decided to walk over to have some drinks and bar food since I would be alone and something to do! It’s raining slightly but I just put on a hoodie and black leggings and jog across the street. No big deal! (|||⇁_⇁)

A little over an hour and a half passes and I’m two alcoholic drinks in (and they weren’t afraid to pack these drinks with Hella alcohol!!) I was well tipsy now and had to pee 30 mins ago, but seeing that home was literally a minute walk away I decided I’d like to pee in the comfort in my own home lol.

I pay and leave exiting the door and stop.. it’s not raining anymore it’s more like the fucking sea was falling from the sky, the wind was making it worse and so cold.. immediately all the water and the sudden cold temperature aggressively reminded me I really really had to pee.. I braced myself and put my hands in my hoodie pocket so stuff in between my legs, waiting for intense wave to pass

Once I had control I put my hood on and immediately started running across the parking lot running up to the sidewalk and immediately I’m soakedddd the rain was coming down HARD I could barely even see!! I had to stop at the sidewalk to wait for the cars to stop and it felt like my bladder was spiking filling up times 10.. I was I was shifting side to side my thighs pressed together, when finally, the red light came on, and the cars stopped.

I fucking flew across that road and passed the first house, and then there was my house right there!! Ignoring going the long way up the driveway I cut through the yard mud and water splashing everywhereee. I ran up the stairs to the small little square porch we have at our front door that thankfully had a small square roof over it. I took only a second to breathe then went right to action-

Scrambled to take off my muddy soaked shoes as I quickly reached into my pocket to yank out my keys- yanking my phone out accidentally and it fell to the ground bouncing, almost falling off the porch. I quickly cursed and crouched down to grab it, when I found myself awkwardly crossing my legs as I crouched pushing the heel of my foot into my crotch as I felt an intense pressure in my bladder.. (¬////¬)

I could tell I peed a tiny bit because I felt warm while the rest of me was cold, and that feeling didn’t help.. all the being drunk, rain splashing around me, being soaked, the cold giving me intense bladder warnings I couldn’t deal-.. I realized ..oh my God I can’t…I’m-..I’m gonna pee….

I shot back up and immediately a sudden fast pee stream noisily released, splattering quickly between my legs, mixing with the rain sound.. I was panicked by how fast the emergency to accident happened but also let out a shaky sigh as the intense bladder warnings slowly faded as my legs became warmer and warmer.

I looked up, and even though the rain was so thick I’m sure no one could see anything, I nervously turned away to face the door, and looked down watching the rapidly growing puddle slide off the porch and down the stairs.. when I was just left with a few trickles down my legs I slowly reached for my keys and unlock the door. Thankful I had black leggings and thankful the rain was so intense the Wet spot was too hard to see anyway! (っ- ‸ - ς)

[ilovethesturniolos-011]

I’ll be gentle -Chris S.

Warnings- making out, smut, protected p in v, oral f!receiving, oral m!receiving, soft!dom!Chris x virgin!reader, gentle sex, soft sex, overstimulation, use of y/n, pet names (baby, ma, princess), maybe more?

Summary- y/n and the triplets went to a party and played truth or dare. You and Chris’ night took an unexpected turn.

__________________________________

You cuddled up against Chris. You had pajama pants, and a tank top on. You two were watching Scream. About 10 mins into the movie you realized what time it was. You got up and took your pants, revealing your black lace panties. Chris was looking at you, trying not to let his eyes travel down. You and Chris have been best friends for the longest time. So yes he’s seen you in a bra and underwear. There’s only been one time where he’s seen your boobs. And that was when he accidentally walked in on you changing. However you have had the biggest crush on him. You took your top off and started taking your bra off. Chris covered his eyes trying to be polite. “Um y/n what the fuck?!” He said in shock. “Chris it’s okay you can look. We’ve known each other for forever. It’s fine.” He uncovered his eyes. All he did was look at your gorgeous tits. “This may seem weird but, you have the most gorgeous tits.” “Aww Chris thank you!” You said with a smile.

———————————————————

You all made it to the party. Nick and Matt went off to find some friends which left you and Chris alone. You two went to get some drinks. “Y/n! Chris! C’mon we’re gonna play truth or dare!” Nick yelled. You both sat down next to each other. “Ok y/n truth or dare?” Tara asked you. “Umm truth.” “What’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?” “Oh tara c’mon.” “Tara why?!” Chris and Matt said. You stayed quiet. “Um dare please.” You said. “Wait y/n are you a virgin?” Tara asked you. “I said dare.” You stated. “Okay jeez. I dare you to make out with Chris.” You looked over at Chris to find him already looking at you. “Y/n you don’t have to.” “No no it’s a dare.” “Alright then.” You both leaned in. Your lips connected. The kiss was passionate. “Oh my god I can’t watch.” Nick and Matt said. “Are you gonna come up for air?” You pulled back. “Let’s go upstairs.” He whispered to you with a smirk. You both went upstairs into a bedroom. You laid down on the bed and started taking your clothes off.

———————————————————

He was kissing down your stomach. You were in a bra and underwear and he was wearing just underwear. He made his was to the waistband of your panties. He looked up at you for approval. You slowly nodded. He slid them down and eventually off. He made his way back up. “Don’t hide. I wanna see that pretty pussy of yours.” You slowly spread your legs. “Mm there it is. Tell me if I’m too much.” You nodded. He wasted no time before licking a long stripe up your folds to your clit. Your hips jolted up from the new sensation you’ve never felt before. He started his attack ever so gently on your clit. He held your hips down so you wouldn’t buck them up. He started sucking on your clit and you went feral. “Ohh Chris. F-Feels so good.” You moaned out. “Yeah you like what I’m doing to you hm?” He was more aggressive this time. Suddenly you felt something in the pit of your stomach. “Chris something’s happening in my stomach. “Don’t worry baby it’s just your orgasm.” He continued his gentle attack on your clit. He then moved down and stuck his tongue inside of you. “Ohh fuck Chris!” You moaned loudly. His hand came up to rub your clit while fucking his tongue into you. “I’m so c-close.” You stuttered out. He went faster. “Ohh Chris I’m cumming!” You screamed as you came on his tongue. He came up to you and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue. You two switched so you were on top of him. You went down to his boxers and saw a huge bulge. You slid them down and saw his dick pop out. *there is no way that will fit anywhere* you thought to yourself. You weren’t completely clueless. You watch porn so you think you can do it. You stuck your tongue out and swirled it around his tip. He threw his head back so you thought you must have been doing the right thing. You started to take all of him in. Well most of him. He was far too big. You only had about 3 of the 7 inches. You jerked off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You bobbed your head up and down on his dick which made him groan. “Holy shit you’re good at this.” You just kept sucking him off. He was moaning and groaning, you could tell he was getting close. You felt his dick twitching in your mouth. “Ohh I’m gonna cum ma.” Hot long after he said that he shot his cum in the back of your throat. He took it out of your mouth so you could breathe. “Wow. You’re really good at that.” You smiled, he got on top of you, “Will it hurt?” You asked him. “Only for a little but then it’ll feel good.” He replied. He grabbed a condom from the drawer next to you. He opened it with his teeth, he slid it on and looked back at you with a smile. He aligned his tip at your entrance. He slowly pushed his tip in. The pain was unbearable. You winced in pain. He stilled for a few seconds before pushing more of himself in to you. “Ow fuck Chris please.” “I know baby I know. It’ll only hurt for a bit.” Soon he bottomed out, waiting for your approval to move. “You okay baby? Do you wanna stop?” “No I’m okay. You can move.” He nodded and started slowly going in and out. You winced in pain again. “Your so pretty baby. My pretty princess.” He said to you trying to get your mind on something other than the pain your feeling. “Thank you Chris.” Soon the pain started to feel good. “Chris please faster.” “Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.” “I can take it.” He started thrusting faster but still gentle and slow. “Mm Chris feels good.” “Yeah. You gonna cum all over my cock hm?” He started going slightly faster. “Ohh shitt Chrissy I’m close. “Me too princess.” Both of your breathing got heavier. “Fuck Chris I’m cumming!” You came all over the condom. He pulled out, took the condom off, and came all over your stomach. “Holy fuck that was amazing.” You said to him. “We should really get cleaned up.” He replied.

———————————————————

You two got cleaned up. You put your clothes back on and went back downstairs. “Heyy what have you teo been doing for the past hour and a half? We’ve been looking for you.” Nick and Matt said looking back and forth between the both of you. “Looks like someone lost their virginity.” Tara said before taking a sip out of her drink. “Gross!” Nick yelled and walked away. Matt didn’t say anything and walked over to Tara and Nick. You just both looked at each other and giggled.

———————————————————

a/n: ermm y’all i been working on this for the past 3 days…..

[mattitties]

Boyfriend, pt 2 - matt sturniolo

you guys asked, so i delivered (hopefully)

part 1 here

I left the party last night feeling on top of the world. I recounted everything to my best friend the second Matt had left and she came back to me.

“I came back from the bathroom and saw you guys totally hitting it off, so I just stood back and watched. I thought he was about to bend you over the bar and fuck you right there,” she told me. 

It’s now the next morning and I’m trying to distract myself and not think about the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet. It’s only 10 AM, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but as someone who doesn’t talk to boys literally ever, I am naturally very worried. 

As the hours pass and it’s now 2 PM, I go into my roommate’s room. “Why hasn’t he texted me? Do you think he was just fucking with me? What if I didn’t give him the right number and he’s now texting some other hotter bitch instead of me? What if I was-” I start to ramble before she cuts me off.

“Oh my god, shut up! It’s been like 14 hours, chill out! He’s gonna text you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We don’t know anything about him, he could be sleeping still or he could be having a busy day. Take a Xanax or something, good gracious,” she tells me, finishing just as my phone vibrates.

I check it absentmindedly, fully expecting it to be my mom or a spam text, but instead I see an unknown number.

Hey it’s Matt, just wanted to see when your free to hang out?

I let out a shriek and show my roommate my screen.

“Fucking told you!” she says excitedly before her face changes. “Oh boy, he’s one of the fuckers who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. You gotta fix that.”

“Oh for sure,” I say, starting to type in my phone.

hey :) i’m free tonight or tmr if either of those work

Tonight is good, I can pick you up around 6 and we can get dinner. How does Boa sound?

“Oh my god. He wants to take me to Boa,” I tell my roommate. I’m just about on the verge of vomiting everywhere.

“Oh fuck yeah! Mr. Moneybags over here!” she cheers.

that sounds great!

Sick, whats your addy so I know where to pick up my gf ;)

I give him my address, turn off my phone, and immediately go to my room to take an everything shower and get ready.

I’m finishing up my hair at 5:30 when I get another text: Leaving now, be there in 15 min. I made reservation for 6

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I was so confident around him last night, but now I feel like a completely different person. I’m terrified I’m gonna be an awkward mess when I get in the car and he’s gonna wonder what happened to the girl he met last night and I won’t even be able to eat I’m so nervous and–

Nope, I’m not worrying anymore. It’s gonna be fine. I triple check everything to make sure I look good, and finally he texts that he’s here.

I grab my bag, go downstairs, and open the front door to our apartment complex, where I’m met with a very familiar face standing next to it. He’s wearing a black short sleeve collared shirt, blue jeans, and a black baseball cap he put on backwards. Man, he looks good as fuck. 

He looks up when he sees me and smiles. “Hi,” he says. “Car’s right there. I was going to come in but then I saw I had to be buzzed into the building and I didn’t know which apartment was yours, so…” It seems that his confidence from last night has lessened quite a bit as well, as now he’s just awkwardly rambling. I find it adorable.

I shake my head and smile. “You’re fine, this is perfect.” I follow his lead to his car, and am surprised when he opens the passenger door for me. “Thank you,” I say as I get in, and he shoots me another quick smile before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. 

“So Boa, huh? You really are trying to show off your YouTube bucks,” I joke.

“Me and my brothers go there a lot, it’s not really that expensive,” he says. 

“Speak for yourself! I was looking at the menu and almost had an aneurysm at the prices!”

He laughs and glances at me. “Well lucky for you, you’re not the one paying, are you?”

We continue our banter for a few minutes before there’s a lull in the conversation. “Do you wanna put some music on? Here’s the aux cord,” he tells me, pulling out a cord.

“Oh,” I say, immediately regretting all my life choices. I am historically NEVER on aux in any situation because my music taste is comprised of Taylor Swift, dad rock, and depressing music. “Um… you may not like my music. We can just play whatever you like.”

He looks at me wearing a tiny frown. “What! You’re the passenger, you get aux. Whatever you play will be fine.”

I sigh dramatically as I plug my phone in and queue Taylor. “Okay, but if you don’t like it, just remember I gave you a chance to say no.” He nods. I watch his face to gauge his reaction as “The Story of Us” starts to play, and I roll my lips into my mouth to hide my laughter when he recognizes the voice. 

“Yayyyy,” he says sarcastically. “I love Taylor Swift…”

The rest of the drive consists of me explaining to him that if he was willing to give her music a try, he would definitely enjoy her music. I was fully expecting him to laugh it off and come back with some smart ass comment about her as nearly every other man does, but he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. “You’re right,” he told me. “Maybe we can listen together and you can show me more of her stuff!”

I think I fell in love right there.

When we arrive at Boa, the man nearly eats shit rushing around to open the passenger door for me, and walks slightly ahead of me to get the door for the restaurant. Neither of us have any ounce of the same flirty energy we had last night, but there’s no awkwardness at all. I still can’t believe this is happening. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect gentleman, we have so much in common, and he’s actually into me? It seems far too good to be true.

“So,” I say when we get seated, “what exactly made you feel the need to come up to me last night? Did I really look that uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you looked like you were about ready to sink into the floor. I mean, in all honesty, I was kind of eyeing you all night but I didn’t have the courage to come up to you, so I guess I sort of used that as an excuse to do something. Plus saving you from creepy guy and all,” he replies.

“Well, thank you, no matter what your reasoning was.” I look around the restaurant. I feel so out of place, it’s disgusting. I’ve only lived in LA for a couple months, so I still feel like I don’t belong, especially when I end up in the same restaurants that people get papped outside of. But somehow, even in a place like this, I feel oddly safe and at peace with a man that I met not even 24 hours prior. 

I’ve never been much of a great conversationalist; if I’m in a one on one conversation, the other person needs to be a rambler for it to not be awkward. But he’s not a rambler, and we both are just so invested in what the other person is saying that it’s somehow a never ending conversation. We have so much in common – our love for movies, Legos, journaling, us both attempting to get back into reading after going so long without it – I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s so refreshing, and it’s terrifying. I know I’m going to fall for him fast. I may be already, but I can’t be. We just met. 

He pulls me out of my trance by repeating his question. “You ready to go?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, thanks for paying,” I smile as I get up. 

“Of course! What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t pay on our first date?” he jokes. 

“Ohhh, our first date? Does that imply there’ll be a second?” I ask as I get in the car.

“Would you like there to be a second?” 

“I mean I guess…” I smirk at him. We’re both looking at each other, smiling ever so slightly. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and I’m 99% sure he wants the same based on the way his eyes are shifting focus from my eyes to my lips. I’m about to lean in when –

“I should get you home.”

Oh. I nod. “Yeah… yeah, probably.” I sit back in my seat.

He turns on the car and Taylor Swift blasts through the speakers. “JESUS–” he yells, turning the volume down as we both start laughing. “I know I said you could show me her stuff but let’s take it down a notch, god damn!”

We don’t talk at all during the drive home, but it’s nice. Just the music in the background, and subtle glances between us every so often. When we pull up in front of my apartment complex, he parks the car and turns it off, then starts to get out.

“You don’t need to get out, it’s okay,” I tell him.

“Well I have to make sure you get into your apartment safe, don’t I?” Again, what a gentleman. I didn’t even think people like him existed anymore. I smile to myself and lead the way, taking him up to the 4th floor and down the hall to my door. “I guess this is where I leave you?” he asks.

“Unfortunately, this is where you leave me.” I’m looking up at him, he’s looking down at me. I can tell he wants to say something, and I hope it’s what I think it is.

He opens his mouth, takes a sharp inhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Bingo. I smile and nod, holding his jaw lightly in my hand. He takes my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other, and our lips collide softly in a matter of seconds. I haven’t kissed many guys, but they’ve always felt just a little off and I never knew why. But this? This feels right. It’s gentle, but our tongues slip into each other's mouths as the kiss grows deeper. I know I need to stop this here, as much as I don’t want to. I give in for a few more seconds before I pull back. 

“I, um… I need to go inside,” I tell him, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Okay,” he says, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll text you, because yes, there definitely will be a second date.”

“Good.” I kiss him one last time before I unlock my door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

———————————————————————

i probably won’t do a part 3 because idk how to keep it interesting from here but if you have other fic requests lmk and i’ll do my best 😚

[livingformintyoongi]

hello author!!! been loving your work!!!

my request is : enemies to lovers yoongi / oc

They could be former classmates, always fighting for being the class #1. Been rivals through college, and now ended up working for the same company. They get teemed up for the same project and end up working late at the company building (they could be at yoongi's office) .yn and him start bikering about some dumb shit, tension builds up and they fuck on top of his work desk (bj, back shots?, doggy? fucking raw?)

thank you in advanceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Work night

a/n: Thank you for loving my works and for making the request 💕💕, I wrote this with the most depressing songs I could find from Taylor's ttpd album, I hope the effect was anything but depressing. I used the name of the oc I have for Yoongi because in the request it says it's Yoongi/oc, I hope you don't mind :( in any case it only says her name two or three times. warnings: doggystyle, back shot, unprotected sex, bj (m receiving), fucking raw, hair pulling, wc: 3.6k

"Move away" you whispered once your boss got out of the elevator. Noticing that Yoongi had no intention of moving from your side, you nudged him with your elbow.

"What's your problem?" he turned to look at you, rubbing his arm awkwardly. He didn't understand why you had just hit him so hard.

"What's your problem?" you said while stressing the "your", looking at Yoongi with a frown, "You have the whole elevator to stand on to wait for your floor, why are you sticking to my side?" you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest and trying to count to 10 so you wouldn't throw yourself on top of him and pull at his hair until you pulled out a large lock.  

"There were more people here, I had no choice" he rolled his eyes, setting his briefcase on the floor and shaking out his hair. He was aware that next to you there were always fights, but he figured that, if your boss gave this project to both of them, you would be considerably less. 

"There's the rub, Min, there were people here, there aren't any more, they left, so keep your distance," you looked at the red number above the door indicating which floor they were on. Only three more and they would finally arrive at Yoongi's office. You didn't know why it had to be his, but you preferred it that way, yours was a total mess.

"You are so annoying."

"Look who's talking" you pulled out your cell phone, not wanting to put up with Yoongi anymore. You checked your messages and calls, everything was empty, except for a message from your granny asking you not to skip any meals.

"What? Your boyfriend didn't text you "good luck at your job" this morning?" whispered Yoongi teasingly, looking at your cell phone out of the corner of his eye. He lightly squeezed his briefcase when he saw the name you had for your boyfriend.

"We broke up a few weeks ago" you stowed your cell phone in the back pocket of your pants, your gaze fixed on the elevator door. "Apparently his parents didn't like the idea of someone like me dating him."

"And he dumped you because of that?" he frowned slightly, staring at your profile. You looked more depressed than usual, but he was sure it was due to work stress, not some jerk you had to put up with for almost a year and a half, "How stupid, I can tell you have bad taste in everything."

"Excuse me?" you turned your head in his direction, frowning as you saw him flash you that cocky grin he gave you every time he wanted to annoy you

"Honey, that wouldn't happen to you if you had a more critical eye and dated real men."

"And what's a real man to you?" you raised your eyebrows, knowing he'd say something stupid that you'd then hang on to make his life miserable. That's how you've spent the last thirteen years living it.

"A real man wouldn't leave you waiting for his message for hours, he would remember that your birthday is November twenty-fifth, he would know that you love desserts and hate too bitter food, he would be aware that you love the color red and hate the color gray because it depresses you" with every word he gave he would get one step closer to you, and, with every step he took towards you, you backed away, "if he were a real man, he wouldn't give a shit what his parents said because he would love you enough to leave them and fight for you, because he would know that he would be worth it just to have a life by your side," you bumped into the elevator wall, shrinking in place the moment Yoongi rested his forearm on the side of your face. "Tell me, Chaeyoung, was he able to do any of all that?".

"Why did you get so close?" you swallowed saliva, staring into Yoongi's eyes. For some reason, you felt like you were incapable of looking at anything other than them. 

"Why are you avoiding my question?" he whispered in front of your face, close enough to almost brush your noses.

"I'm not-" the sound of the elevator doors opening threw you completely out of focus. You pushed Yoongi away and quickly stepped out, fixing your hair awkwardly, "Let's go to your office, I'm tired, I want to finish this quickly."

"Fine" he sighed in response, stepping out of the elevator and walking to his office. "Did you bring the papers?".

"Yes" you mumbled, walking behind him. Your gaze was fixed on his back, and you couldn't help but think about how he knew so many things about you. Yes, you had known each other for thirteen years, but you only spoke to each other to argue, there literally wasn't a conversation where one of you hadn't raised your voice to the other. 

"Okay, let's get this over with as soon as possible," he said as he opened the door to his office, waiting for you to enter.

You stared at your laptop screen for a few seconds, trying to clear your head without letting sleep take over. You had been working for more than ten hours, your head was starting to hurt and your stomach was twisting because of the hunger you felt. There were only a few details left to finish, so you thought it might be a good idea to take a coffee break.

You looked at Yoongi, who seemed to be too focused on reading the papers you had brought earlier to pay any attention to you. You brought your thumbnail to your mouth, biting it lightly. Would it be okay for you to go get a cup of coffee when he's still working on the project? 

"Stop biting your nail" he muttered with his eyes still fixed on the papers.

You rolled your eyes, getting up from the red velvet chair in his office and walking to the door. 

"Where are you going?" Yoongi's view rises just enough to see your back stop in front of the glass door that separated his office from the hallway.

"Do you mind?" you turn to see him, raising your eyebrows. The situation earlier had made you completely forget that the idiot standing in front of you was Min fucking Yoongi, the same one who made your life miserable in school, the same one who chose the same career as you, and the same one who had gotten a job at the same fucking company.

"Yes, I need to know where you're going because this is a job that belongs to both of us," he rose from his chair, both hands resting on his impeccably neat and clean desk. You hated that he kept everything in order, it reminded you of how disorganized you were in your daily life. "I'm not doing your part for free."

"And I don't need you to do it" you snorted, approaching him firmly. You were sick of his shitty behavior. "I will come back here and finish that fucking report without your help, do you understand?".

Yoongi was silent for a few seconds, rounding his desk and standing in front of you, "You're always so rude, shouldn't you watch your vocabulary at work?".

Your legs trembled slightly at having him stand in front of you, but you did your best to keep him from noticing. You took a couple more steps toward him, wanting him to feel just as intimidated as you had felt in the elevator. Your stomach did a flip as you remembered how close he had been to you.

"We're off the clock, so I don't have the need to mind my vocabulary" you whispered, keeping your gaze locked on Yoongi's. You weren't sure what you wanted to gain from this, but what you wanted to gain, you wanted. 

"Being off the clock allows you to treat your coworkers like this?" you noticed how his eyes lowered to stop on your lips.

You tried to ignore that, but it was tricky when you were so close to him, when you could smell his perfume, feel his breath crash against yours. You seriously tried to be strong and control your biological urges, but he wasn't helping.

"Shut the fuck up" you pressed your index finger into his chest with the intention of pushing him back. To your surprise, the instant your finger touched his chest, his hand grabbed your wrist hard enough to stop you without hurting you. 

"I was hoping you'd say that," he gave you the sexiest shit-eating grin you could have ever seen in your life, only to, seconds later, tug on your arm and kiss you.

You weren't sure what surprised you more, the fact that he kissed you, or the fact that you kissed him back almost instantly, clinging to his neck with your arms while he did the same with your waist. You'd like to say that you never imagined this would happen, that you never subconsciously (and consciously) dreamed about how Yoongi's lips would feel on yours, but if you said that you'd be lying to yourself, because, shit, the amount of times you'd dreamed about something like this were too many.

If your mouth wasn't too busy sucking on Yoongi's bottom lip, you'd probably ask him if the same thing had happened to him and that's why he was now kissing you like his life depended on it. It's not like you were going to complain anyway.

Yoongi's hands were quick to unbutton your shirt as his tongue enjoyed exploring and licking every corner of your mouth it could reach. You decided to focus on stroking and pulling his hair until he moaned from the burning in his head. You could become addicted to the hoarse sound of his moans.

"Shit, did you wear a lace bra to come to work?" he whispered against your lips, focusing his gaze on your breasts wrapped in red lace fabric. In fact, it was your favorite outfit.

"It's just that it was the only clean one" you followed his gaze, looking at your breasts, "my dryer went bad and it's difficult to get them dry in the middle of winter".

"Bless your dryer" he began to form a path of kisses starting at your jaw and ending at your shoulder. Your shirt by this point was already lying somewhere in the room, and it really wasn't something you cared too much about. 

You tilted your head to the side, closing your eyes and enjoying the sensations of Yoongi's wet kisses against your skin. His veiny hands soon stopped on your tits, giving gentle squeezes on the fabric. You shivered as you felt his cool fingers on your barely covered nipples.

"Is your mouth as good at sucking cock as it is at insulting me?" he whispered close to your ear, caressing the curve of your ass with one hand and your breasts with the other. 

"Just so you know, I'm pretty good at giving blowjobs" you said between gasps, pulling on his hair as you felt his teeth bury themselves on your skin.

A shiver ran down your back as you heard the sound of his belt clacking against the floor. 

"Don't say it, show it" he unzipped his pants, but without removing them completely. He slipped a hand inside his boxers so he could pull out his cock. You almost gagged at the sight of it.

You didn't expect it to be so big.

"What's that face?" he cocked his head slightly, trying to meet your gaze.

"It's the same face you've always seen" you muttered, grabbing your hair and forming a bun with your hands. It was bigger than you were used to, but that wasn't going to stop you from doing a good job. This was more for your pride than to satisfy him.

Yoongi never imagined he would end up having you kneeling in front of him, grabbing your hair so it wouldn't stick to your face, touching his cock with your fingertips, seeing it as if it was the first time you'd ever seen one. Yes, that sight was something Yoongi had only allowed himself to imagine since he first saw you, but to make that vision a reality thirteen years later? He wasn't sure what he had done to have this luck, but he was truly grateful.

"Well, at least now I understand why you were throwing so many flowers at yourself" you whispered, licking his cleft with the tip of your tongue. "Your cock is nice" you looked at Yoongi, running your hand up the length of his member, stopping at his head to draw circles over his cleft.

He wasn't sure what kind of response you wanted to those comments, he wouldn't have been able to respond to them anyway, at least not in this position. 

You left a trail of kisses from the head to the base of his cock only to return upward with a long lick. You smiled proudly as you heard him sigh heavily. It was only until you reached the tip of his member again that you decided to take him into your mouth.

Yoongi almost choked as he noticed that you got it all the way in in one go.

"Shit, Chaeyoung" he moaned, reaching down his hand to grab your hair between his fingers.

You hummed still with him inside your mouth, eliciting another hoarse moan from him. 

You tried to keep a slow pace, not because you couldn't do it faster, but because you seriously thought that's what he wanted. To you Yoongi was always a lazy person, someone who always seemed to move slow, so it made the most sense that he would be that way in sex too.

You knew you were wrong when his grip on your hair became firmer, leaving your head static as he took it upon himself to grind his hips against your mouth. 

"Fuck, you were right, your mouth feels so good," he said huskily, letting his head fall back, his hips grinding faster and harder against your face.

By this point it was impossible for your eyes not to release a tear or two and a trickle of saliva to escape your lips. This man was a brute, you thought to yourself. Somehow that turned you on even more.

Yoongi's brow furrowed as he felt your throat quiver at your soft moans. This felt so much better than any wet dream he'd had in the past with you. He couldn't help but look down to see how you looked sucking his cock. If he had had a camera handy he would have taken a picture of you. This was the first time he had ever seen you cry, and while it's likely that in another context he would have even felt sorry for you, right now all he could think about was how badly he wanted to ravage you like this every chance he got.

You raised your hands, clinging to Yoongi's hips as you closed your eyes and tried not to think about how deep he was thrusting into your mouth. You had to bury your fingernails in his pants when he thrust too hard. You would have a terrible pain in your jaw after that.

After giving you that lunge he let go of your hair and pulled his cock out of your mouth, allowing you to breathe easy. You brought your hand to your throat, rubbing it gently, it hurt a little, but it was totally worth it. 

"Come here" Yoongi said, lifting you up easily and leaning you against the desk. He caressed your still clothed hips, pausing for a few seconds to contemplate your back, the shape of your body, the line of your lingerie. He wanted to taste every nook and cranny. He was determined to taste every little bit of skin in front of him, even if it took weeks. "I like your back" he whispered, bringing his hand up to touch your lower back.

"Thank you" you murmured, turning your head so you could see him, "now would you, I don't know, shut your fucking mouth and do something with me? You owe me."

"You always ruin the moment" he rolled his eyes, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down. He couldn't help but take your buttocks in his hands, squeezing them lightly. They looked good with the red lace over them. For a second he thought maybe red would be his new favorite color.

His fingers dug in between the lace, seeking your entrance. He almost moaned as he felt how wet you were. He always thought you'd be someone sensitive in bed, but he never thought you'd get like this just from giving him a blowjob.

"You're so wet" he whispered, collecting your juices with his fingers and slipping it back into your pussy. He smiled as he heard you squeal. "And so sensitive, are you sure you can handle my cock?".

He didn't wait for an answer from you, he simply placed the head of his member over your entrance, moving it up and down, barely opening your pussy, all with the intention of teasing you. 

You moaned helplessly as you noticed he had no intention of fucking you. To your luck that was quickly fixed. You held onto the table and, just as his cock brushed your entrance, you pushed your hips back. You had to bury your fingernails in your palms to keep from letting out a scream. You were aware that his cock wasn't even halfway in yet, but it still felt so big.

"Shit, you seriously are a desperate bitch" he growled under his breath, resting his hand on your lower back. He was already inside, what else could he do but fuck you?

 You screamed as Yoongi pushed his entire member inside you, causing your hips to crash against the desk and one of your heels to fall to the floor. Just as he did when you gave him the blowjob, Yoongi didn't go with games. He rested his chest against your back, hugging your waist so he could give himself momentum and make his lunges harder and deeper.

"Yoongi" you gasped, resting your forehead against the wood of his desk. This man had no mercy, and you were beginning to wonder if he was trying to get even for all the bad times you put him through in the past. 

He just hid his face in your neck, leaving wet kisses down your bare skin. His cock stirred slightly inside you as he heard his name leave your lips. He had waited for this moment for so many years.  

As if that were possible, his onslaught grew faster, hitting all the right spots to make you gasp and moan uncontrollably. Your whole body trembled as his cock hit your G-spot with too much force. This time you couldn't hold back the scream that wanted to escape your lips.  

"What was that?" he said in a mocking voice, hitting the same spot again, this time harder. He didn't expect you to tighten around him as he did so. "God, you're so tight, so wet."  

You let your weight fall onto the desk, closing your eyes and keeping your mouth open so you could moan freely. Little tears were leaking from your eyes from the intense pleasure you were feeling. Yoongi made you feel so full, he knew so well where to touch, at what pace to go. You loved how fast he learned to read you.  

"Stop pounding there" you said between moans, trying to keep the knot in your belly from loosening, not so soon at least. "I don't want to come yet."  

Yoongi left a mark near your shoulder, pushing your hair aside to get a better look at it. It felt so good to finally mark you as his. "It’s okay, babe, do it, we have plenty of time to indulge in a long sex session."  

The idea that the two of you would repeat tonight made you quite excited, much more excited than you'd like to say out loud. To your bad luck, your brain didn't seem to want to grasp that idea, leaving your body to show how much you had liked the idea, letting the knot in your center untie and you came on Yoongi's cock with a loud moan. 

Yoongi almost lost his mind watching you decompensate under him, but he was still aware enough of the situation to cum inside you. He quickly pulled out of your pussy, masturbating at the same pace he had kept while he had been fucking you, letting his release fall onto your back, sending shivers down your spine.   

You took a moment to regulate your breathing before you turned to look at Yoongi, "There better not be cum in my hair."  

"Stop whining" he whispered, bending down to your face level and leaving a soft kiss on your lips. "Better get up and get dressed, let's take the stuff to my place and finish the job there, so you can take the opportunity to clean your back well." He fixed his pants and grabbed your clothes from the floor, "In the drawer there are some tissues, give me one, I'll clean your back."  

"Ugh, it feels strange that you treat me decently" you laughed under your breath, fixing your underwear as you took the tissues he asked for.  

"You should get used to it" he pulled one out, gently running it down your back, trying not to get any trace of his seed on you.  

"I will" you smiled, closing your eyes at Yoongi's touch on your back, and almost melted as you felt his lips kiss your head.  

Yes, you were definitely willing to get used to this.

Materlist.

[exhaslo]

I HATE Retail.

So, quick summary.

This old lady comes in and my coworker spots her first. She tells the lady to give her just a second bc she was helping someone else. I enter the paint pit and saw the lady and asked if she needed help. The lady was talking to me in Spanish and I had to tell her, "One second, let me get someone to translate"

I maybe spanish, but I dont speak a lick of it. Only Japanese.

So, as Im calling someone to come over and translate, the women huffs and leaves. Like okay? The translator comes over, spots the woman two aisles away and we are trying to motion her over. We can only take orders at the one computer.

The lady refuses to move and demands we get her white paint. So the translator is asking her, "What brand? How shiny?" the normal questions. This lady still demands in a rude fucking tone just white paint.

Finally, my coworker comes over and tells the lady that we have to take the order on the computer. We cant read minds like wtf. So the lady storms over and demands white paint. AGAIN we keep asking for shine and whatnot. This takes 4 minutes bc she keeps telling us to just grab something.

We can't do that. The customer needs to be the only to pick. So finally she slams her finger on Eggshell. So I go to grab a gallon, then she bitches about a 5-gallon. So I go to grab the 5 gallon, shake it up and told her husband it was ready befpre helping my coworker out with her 6 5-gallon order.

Fast forward 10 min, one of my managers comes to me and asks if I yelled at a lady and gave her the wrong paint. I explained everything to him and NO WHERE IN THE CONVO DID THE LADY SAY CEILING PAINT.

LIKE THAT IS A DIFFERENT STORY AND PAINT.

So he drops it bc the lady was being dramatic about how she was gonna faint bc we yelled at her. Blah blah blah

Fast forward like an hour. Im helping a different customer and I see a different manager by paint. I ignore it until this lady storms in front of me and my customer and says,

"YOU NEED TO PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SHAPE AND SIZE! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU INSULT AND SCREAM AT MY MOTHER! YOU ARE DISGUSTING-"

"Ma'am, I have no idea what you're talking about," I try to tell her.

"DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT SHIT. YOU TREAT MY MOM LIKE SHIT YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU ARE FUCKING RUDE AND DISGUSTING SO FUCK YOU!"

"Fuck you too." I snapped bc who the FUCK does this bitxh think she is?

Even my customer was shocked. I then saw the lady from earlier fucking crying. Like are you actually shitting me?

I GET YELLED AT! I GET TREATED LIKE SHIT BUT GOD FORBID I SAY SOMETHING!

IF I SAY SOMETHING THEN I'M IN THE WRONG.

I was seething. I called my supervisor and she stormed over along with another manager. Note, the daughter is HUNTING for my coworker and the translator bc she needs to fight someone.

Honey, you're mom is a fucking liar and she isnt a saint.

Once they left the managers all came to me to ask what happened and I just started crying. Like they will always take the customer's side no matter how wrong they are. I only said one thing to the fucking lady and that was I was getting a translator, but yet Im the one who gets cussed out?

I'm not mad about being yelled at. Im more mad that I cpuldnt say anything back. Bc all these companies only care about the customer.

They treat the customers like gods and we just have to shut up and take their shit like we're ants. Im sick of it. Im sick of all of it.

I'm sorry, unpopualr opinion, but customer service doesnt mean shit. You're either going to buy at the store you are going to or your not. We need to stop treating customers like they are angels bc it just fuels their entilted behavior.

I need a fucking drink now.

Thanks for letting me vent. Have a great day.

[beskarinhyperspace]

The Intern

It's Halloween night and you work on set with Hayden Christensen. 

Who wants to party with Anakin? 

Hayden/ Anakin x Gn Reader  

AO3 | MASTERLIST

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

Warnings; shy hayden, soft dom, n3pple play, or4l- hayden.receiving, praise, soft degradation 

Happy Halloween!

WC; 3k

You only been working here for 3 months. Getting everyone their coffees and scripts. Making sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible for the cast members and directors. But this internship was getting on your last nerve. How can anyone survive these boring and unchallenging tasks. This is truly unfulfilling you tell yourself as you eat your lunch alone in the cafeteria. You only took the job because you needed to be more “involved on set and understand the flow” as your professor puts it.  

As you play with your macaroni salad with a plastic spoon, you hear someone entering the room. By instinct, you bring your eyes up to meet a handsome man. 

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to disturb..” cutting himself mid-sentence.  

“Oh no, no worries, you're not.” You reply mindlessly not fully realizing that it's Hayden Christensen who just entered the break room. You wouldn't say that you're easily starstruck, but you must admit, he looks better in person. 

He smiles timidly, going towards the coffee machine. “Got to have my caffeine. I- woke up early.” saying nervously. 

Watching him try to make small talk is utterly painful. He doesn't need to talk to you. So why is he acting so weird? 

“Busy?” You asks, trying to sound casual. 

“Yeah, I mean, I was in Seattle yesterday. Matter of fact I just landed here not even two hours ago.” Saying as he clicks a plastic lid on his coffee cup. “What's your name? Wait don't tell me. This way I know I'll see you again.” He smiles to you before looking at his watch. “I'm really sorry, I have to go. See you around I guess..” 

“Bye” you finally speak out, but he was already out the door. What the fuck just happened?  

For the rest of the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the most pathetic celebrity encounter you have ever had in your life, yet. I mean he's a big celebrity and he's busy. He said so himself. It's not like you're going to see him again, right? 

“Hey newbie, the director wants a round of coffee. He's also asking if you contacted the new hairstylist to see if they can come tomorrow instead of Wednesday?”  

“I did, she said yes, and I'll go get them shortly.” You reply nonchalantly. The other assistant simply smiles at you before walking away. Ugh, can this day be any worse? This is the 5th coffee run today and you only have an hour left to your shift. Without wasting any time, you go straight to your car. Not wanting to stay overtime again. Especially not today. Once behind the wheel, you sigh as you decide to have a look at your face. Jeez, I really look tired. I can't believe I just met him looking like this. What am I saying? It's not like I have a chance anyway.. 

With 10 min left to your shift, you only have a couple coffees left to deliver. Opening the director's office door. You quickly recognize Hayden’s side profile.  

What is he still doing here? Never mind, just stay professional.  

“I'm here Jay, bringing the hot!” You say with a bright smile. 

You hear a clear sigh coming from Hayden’s direction as you put the coffees on the meeting's table. As you try to look discreetly in his direction, you're met with his intense gaze. Why is he looking at me like that? He wasn't like that earlier.. Did I do something wrong?  

“Thank you, I really needed that. Hey, listen kid, would you mind staying later tonight?” Jay asks casually while scribbling in his notebook. 

“I–“ tonight is Halloween night and some of your friends invited you to join them at a party. Usually, you would've said no but this job had been so draining lately. You just want a little break. 

He stops writing to look at you properly, “I know you've been staying late a lot but that's only because I trust you kid. You're doing an incredible job here..” 

“I'm okay with it, I mean that's the least I can do before I leave.” You say calmly trying to not let your annoyance show through. 

He gives you a weak smile before returning to his scribbles. “Anita was looking for you earlier, I think she's in costume right now.” 

“I'll go check, anything else?”  

“I think you'll be pretty busy with her tonight, I'll let you work with her. If anything, I'll fetch you.” 

You nod before turning around. Fighting back the urge to look at Hayden again before leaving. Stay professional, this will never happen. We don't want him to think you're just another stupid fan. Just stay cool..” 

You sigh walking towards Anita’s workshop. As you walk the corridors, you feel a strong hand gripping your arm. You turn to a taller men with frowning brows. 

“Hey, um, I'm sorry. It's just I've been yelling and–“ You look to Hayden puzzled. “I guess what I'm trying to say is, um, ask, would you go out after with me?”  

You look at him like you have a million questions inside your head. While he looks at you anxiously waiting. “I work late tonight.” 

He nervously passes a hand in his hair, “right, yes, that's true. Shit, I'm sorry I shouldn't have bothered you. Have a great night..” he says looking at the floor, slowly walking away. 

What the actual fuck? Ugh, I'm going to regret this.. “I'm off at 11.” Raising your voice to make sure he hears you. 

He smiles as he faces you. “What's fun to do around here at 11?” 

His smile is truly contagious, making you blush automatically, “I was invited for a Halloween party-” 

“Cool, I'll come back to pick you up 11:30” walking away once again before you could place another word. 

Oh jeez, what did I get myself into.. 

-- 

You were doing some final make up touches before heading out the door. This year's last-minute costume is a vampire. As you're drawing some electric reddish veins underneath your eyes you can't stop thinking about the fact that you're going to a party with fucking Hayden Christensen. How did this happen? How are you going to explain this to your friends? This is going to be a big problem. You try to calm yourself down. Telling yourself that this is just a friendship situation. Omg is he a womanizer? No, that can't be it. He looked way too nervous to be one, right?  

It's 11:35 and you're patiently waiting outside when a car enters the driveway. Seeing it's him, you walk towards the car, opening the door. As you're putting your  seatbelt on, you can feel the heavy energy in the air as if you were being observe.  

“Wow” you hear him say softly in a low voice. “You really look good.” Shyly, you bring your eyes up to be met by his, looking at you shamelessly. He clears his throat quickly as he realize his behaviour, “where to?” he finally asks. 

“Omg”— “What??” 

“You can't wear that.” You say almost horrified. 

He laughs knowing exactly what you’re referring to. “It’s not that bad” 

“This, this is your Anakin costume..” you state gesturing his outfit. 

“Don't worry about it.” 

“Do you seriously believe that this is discrete? Everyone will know it's you. You have a pretty memorable face you know.”  

He laughs even more, “So I've been told. Stop, I told you, don't worry. Just tell me where it is.” 

“I don't know if I should, maybe you're a kidnapper.” you say nonchalantly. 

He tries not to laugh as he bites his lower lips. “Then we can stay here.” 

“We?” 

“Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong I like a party as much as the next person but, I want to know you. I don't mind where we are as long as I can talk to you.” 

You can't control your smile as you feel warmth in your stomach. Suddenly the self-doubts and questioning just fades away. This is a date.. omg, you're on a date with him.. you clear your throat, “I’d like to go, I really need this.” 

“Stressed?” Asking as he punches the address in the map app and starts to drive.  

“You could say that.” 

“Yeah, I'm familiar with the feeling. The ‘set’ life isn't always glamorous.” 

“You're an actor, it's different, you're the star.” 

He bites his bottom lip before replying, “well, the pressure is like no other. There are so many fans, so many critics. You need to have a thick skin. Plus you have to put yourself in so many weird situations. Trust me, it's stressful.” 

“Yeah, I guess you're right, I never saw it like that.”  You replied as he smiles softly. You notice that you've been quite comfortable in his presence compared to earlier this morning. He looks so self-assured and in control of himself you tell yourself. How can he be so grounded?  

During the ride you finally get to relax and enjoy your small talks. That was until you finally arrive at the party. Now all you can think about is the fact that your plus one is Hayden. As you both walk towards the house door, you can already hear the music blasting from outside.  

“Heyyy!!”—“You came!” You hear your friends calling. 

“Yeah, I actually just finished work–“ 

“–OMG are you the real Anakin? Like the actor?”— “I think his name is Hayden.”— “that's not him, that can't be him.” 

“Yeah, well, I always been told we looked alike, so I went with an Anakin costume this year.” Hayden responds smiling casually to the others. 

“You don't say” —”well it’s uncanny, you really do look like him.” One girl lets out. 

You roll your eyes, “stop bothering my friend. Anyways, we're gonna have a look around, we'll be right back” stating as you both walk away. “I told you that dressing as Anakin was a bad idea..” you say leaning towards him. 

He turns his head slightly to you as he tries to hear you better over the loud music, “Then let's get out of here. You know, to a place we can actually hear each other?”  

“Yeah, let's get out.” You reply and he doesn't waste a second. Guiding you back to the car. “Where now?” You ask as you put on your seatbelt back on. 

“I know a place near.”  

As you watch the car lights passing over him. You can't help but smile, he is so handsome, so hot.. Especially in his battle attire. “You do that often?” 

“What do I do often?” Glancing quickly in your direction. 

“Kidnapping interns on set.” 

He automatically let out some low giggles. “Ahh, huh, um no..” he answered shyly. “I don't..” Before you could place a word, he enters a hidden dirt road. 

“Oh, so you did plan to murder me.”  

He gives you a smirk, “Nah, you're way too pretty for me to kill..”  

-- 

After a moment you stop in front of a wooden bridge. “What is this place?”  

“Patience” he simply respond as he stops the car. “Come” 

You follow him without hesitation, crossing the bridge before going deeper into the woods. “Is it safe?” You asks voice worried. 

He takes your hand as he leads, “I used to come here all the time when I was a teenager.” 

“You grew up here?” 

He chuckles, “No, my aunt lived nearby. I used to visit every summer for a month with my mother.”  

After a few minutes of walking off road you finally arrived at a secluded part of a lake. “Woah, it's so pretty.. I lived here all my life, and I never knew this place existed.” You were truly amazed by the view. The moon was almost full. Shining it's light on the lake like diamonds on calm waters. Making everything a little more visible in this otherwise very dark night. 

“I can't believe it, it's still there-” you hear him say from afar. You glanced at him, watching him drag a tree trunk towards you. “-Look” he says pointing to a part of the trunk.  

·The true Skywalker was here· 

You smile as you read it, “You wrote that? How fitting, you're even dress for the occasion.” You state gesturing to his costume. 

“Ha, yeah, I haven't come here in ages. Last time I came to visit, I made a little stop here. I had just received the call to play Anakin and I knew the role would change my life. I know it sounds stupid but, I wanted something to remember the old me by.” He responds as he looks at you nervously. “You're really beautiful tonight.” saying low, almost a whisper. Coming to close the gap between you. 

“Thank you, and no, it’s not stupid. I actually think it’s pretty cool..” You don't know if it's the proximity, his firm yet soft voice or the fact that you would literally do anything he'd ask you to, but you can already feel the pulsing need in between your legs. Is he really going to kiss me? You wondered.  

As if he could hear your mind, he presses his pillowy lips softly against yours. Humming as he does. “Since I saw you this morning this is all I can think about.” 

“What?” You ask confused. 

“I couldn't look away; you were constantly on my mind. I had to know you more.” He says passing his hands on your chest over the clothes. “Is this, okay? C-can I know more of you?” 

You swallow, “yes of course, I'd love to.” trying not to sound too desperate.  

He smirks and omg, his smile mixed with desire is to die for. He goes back to your mouth with his lips slightly parted. Pushing his tongue gently inside. Jeez even his spit is sweet. Meanwhile, his hands were going underneath your shirt, moving upwards. He growls low when reaching your nipples. Brushing them lightly with his cold fingertips before he starts to flicker them. 

You try to stay grounded but it's becoming really difficult. His eyes were burning with desire as he watch you melt under his touch. “Wow, we just started and you're already so needy.” 

“I'm sorry” you say slightly embarrassed. 

“Don't be, I love it.” He purrs, moving slightly lower as he brings your shirt up, exposing your entire chest to him. “Mm, would you look at that. They're already hard and ready for me.” Stating as he brings his wet lips around your hardened nipple. Giving it some gentle sucks as his thumb flickers and rolls the other one.  

Oh god, this feels amazing.  

He hums deep, switching between them as his mouth licks and bites them gently. You're pretty sure that if he doesn't stop you might just cum like this. “Fuck, you're so hot. I bet you also feel so good and soft elsewhere” You nod while moaning as you feel the need growing inside you belly. “Can I feel you?” 

“Yes, please, anything.” 

He smiles kissing your lips, nibbling at your bottom one. He starts to undo his belt and you automatically drop to your knees. “Hey, that's not– “ 

“I want to.” you say smiling against his bulge. You start to unzip his pants letting his harden cock spring free. Geez even his penis is gorgeous. Long and thick with a little bead of precum already leaking from the tip. You can clearly see the veins pumping as it twitches with anticipation. 

“Are you still sure?” He asks laughing discretely. Aware of your startled eyes. 

You don't bother to answer as you start to shyly lick the tip of it. You hear him chuckle softly as he closes his eyes to the pleasure. Which only drives you with more heat as you start to stretch your mouth around him. “Ugh, this feels soo good sweetheart. You're doing such a great job” his words are only encouraging you to finally take it full. Sucking him like you never sucked before. Gaging slightly when you made it hit the back of your throat, but it didn't matter. Because his moans and panting were the best reward you ever had. His head falls back as his pleasure grow. 

Becoming desperate, you needed some relief. Bringing your hand down, you begin to play with yourself while still moaning around his cock. 

He quickly notices it as he passes his hand in your hair. Petting your head before grabbing a fist full of it. “Argh fuck yes, you're so fucking good baby. So, fucking good with this mouth, omg. Such a pretty mouth on such a pretty babe.”  

The praises are just too much. You can feel him fighting the urge to thrust into your mouth. Making touch yourself with desperation as he almost chokes up. “Wait, are you going to cum like this?” You nod as you continue to pump him inside your mouth. Feeling your sweet release near. “Oh, fuck..” he says surprised, “I didn't know you were so needy.” as he's softly pinching one of your nipples.  

And that does it.  You finally feel the waves of pleasure as your eyes closes slightly. Having your mouth fully open during your peak, making his cock loosely slides freely on your tongue. “Shit, you're so hot when you come like that. Please, can I come on your chest?” 

You simply smile as you present your bare chest to him. Playing with your nipples, rolling them in between your fingers. You watch him stroke himself as he grunts low.  Panting as he brings himself closer to the edge. “Agh, you're so god damn pretty..”  He finally cums, letting his juices drip freely drip on your nipples. 

“Fuck, you're so perfect sweetheart..”  

[instantcaramel]

A month ago I went to Amsterdam and visited all the filming locations for Ted Lasso‘s „Sunflowers“, so I figured I‘ll finally put something together here.

First of all, basically all the scenes involving the majority of the Richmond himbos were not shot on location - their epic discussion followed by pillow fight was filmed in an abandoned hotel in London. (Info per David Elsendoorn). The same would go for Ted & Beard‘s room. Scenes on the bus or outside it were also filmed in Richmond.

The only Greyhound who doesn‘t have his own larger plotline in the episode who was actually in Amsterdam was David Elsendoorn, because they did film the first scenes at Johan Cruijff (you know how to pronounce it now!) ArenA, the home of Ajax Amsterdam (which is also the one place I didn‘t have time to visit). They could have easily filmed that in London in a different stadium but I guess they didn‘t want to pass up the opportunity - and give David something to do on his home turf.

Edit: I visited 3 months later, so here‘s some pics from the ArenA, I couldn‘t find out which hallway they used/dressed up for the press interviews, but here‘s some shots from the stadium and the VIP lounge we see at the beginning.

So, first up is Roy & Jamie‘s adventure: Jamie takes him sightseeing against his will, and the first place they stop on is Magere Brug (Skinny Bridge). (They run up the street to that before.)

Edit thanks to @warriorhoneybee: Roy grabs Jamie’s wrist at Diamond Factory on Rokin and then tells him he can‘t ride a bike outside Lyppens Jeweler at Langebruugsteg.

They go around the corner to Oude Turfmarkt (which is what I took a picture of) for Jamie to teach him how. For Grandad!!!

The fucking windmill they see before they lovingly gaze into each other’s eyes is De Riekermolen at the Southern end of Amstelpark, where they also cycle. (It‘s actually realistic for them to do that, it would be about half an hour between those locations by bike).

Rebecca doesn‘t see the obvious bike lane (that doesn‘t actually exist there) and falls into the gracht at Raamgracht. Boaty McBoatface‘s houseboat is still there, they just had it dressed up a bit with plants and such when they filmed. (Unclear if anyone currently lives there). The interiors were shot in a studio.

Trent follows Colin to Prik night club (which was absolutely buzzing when I was there, I really want to go back).

And then they sit at the Homomonument, the Pink Triangle memorial at Westerkerk, having that tearjerker of a conversation, before returning to party. (It walked that distance at night, it‘s a beautiful stroll and less than 10 minutes). When I visited someone had left sunflowers. 🌻

Leslie & Will first go to Hotel Prins Hendrik in the Red Light district (and steps away from Amsterdam main station) where Chet Baker died. They then make their way to Jazz Café Alto, which is just down the road from where Boom Chicago used to be on Leidseplein. (It‘s about 30 mins on foot between those two locations so they could have walked or just taken the tram for a few stops. The interiors were done at a studio though).

Ted of course visits the studio-filmed fictional themed restaurant where he has a BBQ sauce induced, Corey Burton-narrated epiphany about triangles, but first he sees Vincent‘s „Sunflowers“ at Van Gogh Museum during Museumnacht (which btw would mean the episode is set first weekend of November). As you can tell they moved some things around, so at least currently the painting isn‘t hung on that beautiful blue wall anymore.

As a bonus, here is a picture of where Boom Chicago used to be when Jason Sudeikis, Brendan Hunt and Joe Kelly performed there - Brendan also used to live above the McDonald‘s on Leidseplein just steps away for a while. And the other picture is the current Boom Chicago on Rozengracht, definitely go enjoy a show there if you can.

Anyway thus concludeth my trip around Ted Lasso‘s Amsterdam. I visited for the Boom Chicago Comedy Festival and fell in love with the city, it was … magical / gezellig. I will never forget it, but then again, some people get Alzheimer’s.

[dollfaceksj]

YES CONTINUE A POSION PARADISE

YERRRRR lets go

tell me ur thoughts! <3

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #4

masterlist

<- previous ; next ->

it’s jimin’s party today

[a/n: i been obsessed w this outfit so i imagine reader wearing sth like this cause its so cute idc if u dont like it]

you go there by foot bc it’s not that far, like a 10 min walk

your feet in these heels are killing you but it doesn’t matter when you look that good

once you arrive, jimin pulls you in for a hug, thanking you for coming

ur not THATTT close w jimin, ur closer w joon and tae

but ur still on friendly terms w jimin

at least way friendlier than jk

its not awkward between u and jimin and u often talk abt ur love for cats and pop culture

unlike u and jk. u can count the amount of convos u’ve had with that loser on one hand and half of those were this month

jimin leads you to taehyung and unfortunately

jungkook is sitting

right beside tae

jk’s wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. his hair is wavy and there are silver rings decorating his pretty fingers

you haven’t seen them since that evening at tae’s and it’s been 3 days since

tae texted u a couple times but ur replies were pretty short to him

and u feel kinda bad

cause its not taes fault??

but ur stubborn. and stupid

tae hands jungkook his solo cup and jumps up from the couch, lunging straight at you

he hugs you tightly, swaying with you from left to right

“i’m glad you made it! all these people are boring,” taehyung says into your ear, squeezing your frame

you chuckle and pull away, hitting his shoulder

he holds you back by your shoulders. “you look good. you came to break hearts.” he nudges your hip with his

he’s soooo annoying

but the compliment is rising to your head

your relationship w tae is like a brother or cousin

he’ll only tell you you look good if you actually look good

and he’ll tell you if you look like shit

“come, sit with us,” he says as he makes some extra space on the couch. he takes the seat next to jungkook

thats when you remember that jungkook is here.

you pretend you don’t notice him though

and he seems to be doing the same thing

asshole.

you don’t really feel like drinking tonight so you decline tae’s offer of getting you something to drink

you spend the next twenty minutes listening to tipsy taehyung rambling about his call of duty wins

yawn

you get up and tae instantly tugs on your wrist

“where u going?”

you sigh. “bathroom. i’ll be right back.”

he nods and lets go of your wrist, turning to jungkook to continue his uninteresting conversation

you push your way through the sea of sweaty and smelly bodies

there’s a pair making out in front of the bathroom door so you push past them as well and enter the bathroom

you lock the door and take care of your business

you wash your hands and glance at yourself in the mirror, fixing your makeup a bit before turning on your heels and unlocking the door

just as you unlock the door, the door swings open

uhh

you did not do that

like u did not open the door it just swung open on its own.

in that split second you think it’s someone who desperately needs to use the bathroom

but your heart drops straight into your ass when you make eyecontact

with

jeon

jung

fucking

kook

THE FUCKKK

you can’t even understand what’s happening

you can barely react

when jungkook

suddenly

and gently

pushes you back into the bathroom by your waist

his hands are respectfully placed but it still sends a shiver up your spine and down all your limbs

haha

wow

😂😂😂😂

jungkooks hands on your waist for a few seconds

who wouldve thought

he walks in and shuts the door behind him

and you know you’re not going crazy but was that… the click

of

the

door

locking????

did he just? lock the door??

you look up at him, lips parted but not a single word on your tongue for him

he leans against the closed door and shoves his hands into his pockets

you frown at him, confused on why he’s trapping you in the bathroom

“what the hell, dude?” your annoyance is clear in the tone of your voice

cause what the HELL jungkook???

“i couldn’t find any other proper moment to come talk to you,” he says but you can’t bring yourself to believe him when he’s got a shit-eating grin on his lips

you roll your tongue against the inside of your cheek and cross your arms over your chest. “talk?”

what could he possibly want to talk about with you???

“yeah. i said i didn’t like you but i hope you know it was a joke. i’m sorry it didn’t come across that way.”

you drag your eyes slowly down his figure, hoping you look like you’re judging the fuck out of him

but he doesn’t react

in

the

slightest

“is that all?” you ask as you make eye contact with him again.

he stares at you for a moment longer before pushing himself off the door, closing the distance between you two

you automatically take a step back but your bum is already pressed against the sink, leaving you with nowhere to go

fuck

FUCK

why is he getting closer still

he stops right in front of you, tips of his shoes touching yours

body menacingly looming over yours, making you tilt your chin to look up at him

he stares you down, tongue playing with the double lip rings in the corner of his bottom lip

fuck he’s hot

like fuck. he’s so hot

he says, “tae was right, you know.”

you scrunch your brows together and struggle to find your voice. you compose yourself quickly though

“about?”

he answers right away. “you look real fucking good.”

ah

hahahahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

😂😂😂😂😂😂

right right

😂😂😂😂

so funny.

his voice is so sultry and the way he’s staring you down like he’s enjoying the view. like he wants to devour you whole

it almost makes your knees buckle

GIRL GET IT TOGETHER

he’s literally your junior be serious

you try to stand your ground

no you HAVE to

the fuck you look like being weak in front of this little shit

“thanks. anything else?”

wowww bitchy much?

he stares at you for a moment longer before shaking his head. “nope.”

“good. get out of my way then.” you wave your fingers back and forth to tell him to get lost

he chuckles and steps aside, watching as you push past him and leave him to stare at your retreating ass

you make your way back to where tae was but he’s gone

of course he is

you look around the room, annoyed with all the people dancing and shoving up against you

all of a sudden, a hand on your shoulder makes you slightly jump

you turn and see tae

PHEWWW thought u were gonna get harassed or something

“y/n, you haven’t drank anything yet, right?” he slurs his words and you roll your eyes

this can only mean he wants you to do something

“jungkook wants to go home but he has a speaker jimin really wants. do you mind walking home with him and bringing the speaker back with you?”

what

literally what😭

“please?” he says as soon as he sees the doubt on your face

you sigh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness. “i can’t believe you’re asking me to do that.”

he frowns. “what? i’ve asked you to come to my place at night too.”

“i’m not talking about walking at night, i’m talking about making me go with jungkook.”

“he hasn’t apologized yet?”

huh

how’d he know jk was going to apologize?

“how do you know he wanted to apologize?”

“because it’s jungkook.” he rubs his nose and looks around before looking back at you. “have you ever seen him at a party before? he came to this party just to apologize to you cause he knew you’d come and he wouldn’t have another opportunity. that’s why he’s already leaving despite only having been here for like half an hour.”

you don’t know if that’s just tae being drunk or if he’s actually telling you the truth

bc why

why is that

so

sweet?

were you being dramatic? 😭😭

for being mean to him??

over something so silly

u kinda were lowkey babes.

you sigh softly.

“alright.”

to be continued

<- previous ; next ->

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[bugboysgf]

Hate + Love

Chapter 2

series masterlist

Previous chapter

Summary: There is a thin line between love and hate but what if it's way thinner than you thought?

“Hi, im suppose to be tutoring somebody.” you told the lady at the front desk. The last 2 weeks had been stressful but out of extreme luck you managed to get all A’s but that also meant you had to tutor the people that were not doing so well in school.

“Oh yes, you must be Y/n.”

“I am.” you confirmed.

“Min Ho.” The lady calls his name and he jumps out of his seat.

“You gotta be kidding me.” you look at Min ho and he seems just as surprised as you are. “There has to be some sort of mistake, I can't tutor him.” the lady looks at her computer for a second and looks back at you.

“Sorry but there is a specific note from the teacher saying you can't switch.”

“What? Who wrote that.” you asked.

“It was your math teacher. Take a seat and get started.”

“I can't believe this.” you said sitting down.

“Do you think I want to do this? I have no choice.” Min ho rolled his eyes.

“Whatever can we just get started.”

After two hours tutoring you were done but to you i feel like 5 hours because every 10 minutes you and Min ho were arguing about something different.

“Thank you.” Min Ho says. You look at him in shock, you were never expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“You have manners, I see. Can I get an apology too?” you asked hopefully.

“It happened almost 3 weeks ago, get over it.”

“God you're such a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one.”

—-

“We have Alex next.” Kitty said. “Oh my god we still have to walk up the stairs.” you said, you were tired already and it was only your 2 period.

“Do you want to go to a ramen place after the 5th period?” Kitty asked.

“Im Pretty sure I don't have to tutor today, so yes.”

“How is it? By the way, you are still not getting along.”

“Nope now i have to sit with him in alex class, because he wont let me change seats.” you rolled your eyes.

“Dude you have 4 months left until winter break, at least try to stop hating each other.”

“He's the problem, not me, he won't apologize. He said thank you yesterday when i tutored him but that's it.” you explained to Kitty. You honestly don't think that you and Minho would get along every chance he gets to make fun of you. He's gonna take it and you're tired of it.

“The problem is that you are both stubborn.” Kitty grabs the handle of the door and lets you into the class, she gives you a ‘be nice look’ and takes a seat.

You walked over to your seat and to your surprise Min Ho was already sitting down, he was always late. You take a seat and don't say a word to him.

“No greeting?” he asked

“What do you want?” you say in a cold tone.

“Woah, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” he smirks.

“I just don't have time for your bullshit today.”

Lucky Alex didn't have you guys do anything with your partner work today you didnt think you could handle it anyways.

You grabbed your things and stuffed them into your backpack.

“y/n?” you stopped in your tracks and looked at the guy that called your name. Minho also stopped and looks at him.

“Yes?” you look at him confused. You've never seen this guy in your life and you had no idea why he was talking to you.

“I'm Derek, I was just trying to see if i can get your number.” you look around to see if anybody was watching and behind him were his friends waiting to see your next move. You didn't want to seem stuck up or anything, so you just smiled and typed your number into his phone.

“Great, I'll text you.”

“Cool” you watch him walk away and turn to Min ho. “And why did you stay?”

“What does he want with you?” “What do you mean?”you asked, confused.

“His dad is literally a millionaire.”

“I honestly dont give two fuck about that.” you said.

“It had to be a dare.” Min ho shook his head.

“Oh really? Just because an attractive guy asked for my number that means it has to be a dare?” you said offended. Min ho knew he messed up, he always jokes around but he knew that what he said really affected you.

“That's not-”

“Save it.” you walked away.

—

For the next few weeks you continue talking to Derek, you thought he would be a jerk but turns out he wasn't. He was really nice and listened.

“Where are you going?” Min ho asked Q. “Oh the nature club is having a hike today.” Q said, putting on his shoes.

“Great i'll come” Min ho got up from the couch. “You can't.” Q said.

“Why?” “Club members only.” “Dude i went last time.” Q stayed silent and didn't say anything. “Unless you don't want me to go for some reason?” “It's not that I don't want you to go, it's just that y/n and Derek are going to be there and I don't want you messing it up for her. She told me what you said when he asked for her number.” Q confessed.

“That's not what I meant, I tried to tell her that.”

“You should have said it in the first place, are you jealous or something?” Q asked.

“What no… no”

“Yup that sounds so convincing.”

“I don't like her, I hate her.”

“You know, you can hate and love somebody at the same time.” Q said shutting the door.

Min ho stood there thinking there's no way that he loves y/n? He hates her too much.

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[4awny]

Sp Driving Headcanons that literally nobody asked for

Stan:-

first one to get his licence obvs

usually a calm and defensive driver

gets a scratch on his car and says aw man my dad's gonna kill me

even when he's 30

drives drunk probably

car is a mess. shit everywhere

overall? man can drive. 8/10

Kenny:-

doesn't have licence. couldn't afford that shit

drives anyway

and it's his brother's piece of shit car

can't park for shit, usually just hopes for the best

has a bunch of naughty bumper stickers for sure

can fix his own car

something always broken

huge dent on the side. "jeez man, how did that get there?"

knowing full well it was a hit and run

felt bad so left a note on the dude's car: hit your car but I'm broke and dont have a licence. my bad sorry. hope you get it fixed

somehow never gets pulled over

overall, dude shouldn't even be on the road. 1/10

Kyle:-

suspect to road rage. man's got issues

hates traffic with a white hot passion

no one is allowed to eat in his car... ever.

cartman is the only one that ignores this rule and is constantly hiding wrappers in random places to annoy him

it annoys him

has run a red light on more than a few occasions

got caught speeding. argued his way out of it. thanks dad

overall, a decent driver but mf needs to chill. 7/10

Cartman:-

hates slow drivers

will happily park in disabled spots

and will say "not every disability is visible!"

and then actually gets offended when someone calls him out for doing it

usually kyle

the type of asshole to say "someone better have died for this" when driving past a collision that got him stuck on the highway for 2 hours

tailgates people for fun

hates being tailgated

gets cut off. follows them for 20 mins just to call them a useless cunt

1 ticket away from losing his licence

overall? 4/10. enuff said

Butters:-

taps the wheel along to songs

sings a lot

sometimes oblivious to road signs

because he's usually looking at the scenery around him

drives 10mph under the speed limit

just to be safe

always offers to drive the guys

the guys: 😒😒😒😒

overall, 6/10. score would be higher if the singing stopped

Craig:-

finds driving a chore

but also likes having his own transport so he can bail anytime he wants

like that one time clyde surprised him with a huge birthday party. but that's another story

parks at the back of the parking lot

then regrets it when it rains

never gets to play his own music, because whoever's in the front is in charge of the bluetooth. it's always clyde

mf always giving lifts to people

for free too

always questions himself why he does it

overall, dude deserves a medal for putting up with so much shit. 10/10

Clyde:-

never drives. simple as that

thank fuck for craig and drive thrus, huh

overall, the leech gets a solid 0/10 and that's being generous

Tweek:-

6 failed attempts before he eventually passed

thought he was cursed

turns out he cant drive for shit

only drives to places he's familiar with

so basically a 3 mile radius from his house

drives in silence. man cannot concentrate

tells people to shut up if they are talking to him when he's driving

like I said, man cannot concentrate

overall? I mean, at least he tries. 5/10 for effort

Tolkien:-

listens to the same radio station

pretty observant. can see the accident before it even happens

the most sensible driver out of everyone

somehow never gets asked to drive tho

takes advantage of that

always offers to pay for gas

is the only one that does

overall, a great driver. 9/10. wd buddy

[livingformintyoongi]

The Han Family | Min Yoongi

Summary: You and Yoongi were together during high school. He was only a year older than you, but that never mattered to you. You both fit in perfectly; you had the cheerfulness and positivity that Yoongi lacked, and he had the patience and seriousness that you lacked. You were together until Yoongi entered his second year of college, both of you decided to end on good terms. You never stopped loving him, and deep down you thought he hadn't completely forgotten you either. Despite keeping that deep love that you were sure you would never get over, you decided to go on with your life, seeing more people, having more casual loves, until the arrival of Jumyeon, the Han's eldest son, and the person who would end up signing your death sentence. It had been more than 10 years since you last saw Yoongi, and meeting him again because of your father-in-law's murder was definitely not the way you expected to see him again. wc: 2.9k

You were upset, no, probably upset would be putting it mildly, you were furious. You couldn't believe that your boyfriend, the one you wasted four fucking years of your life for, was cheating on you for over two years, and worse, with his best friend, that same girl he practically forced you to meet because he wanted his girlfriend and best friend to be close. At least his "friend" had the basic human decency to confess to you that she was messing with him for years. 

"I picked your favorite restaurant, I had a hard time making a reservation" Jumyeon said, smiling at you as cheerfully as possible. You almost grimaced, but you tried to control yourself, you were supposed to be a mature woman, for god's sake, you were almost 30, you should be able to have control over yourself.

"Thank you, that's a very nice gesture" you murmured, drinking all the wine in your glass. This didn't even make it into the top 10 of your favorite restaurants. You hated the way they cooked their meat, and you knew the owner in person (who was close friends with Jumyeon), it wasn't much better than their supposedly quality food.

You looked at the large window next to you. The only thing worthwhile about this place was the view of the Han River. It was a sight worth seeing.

"I already placed the order, so all we have left to do is wait" he pulled out his phone for a second, but put it away as quickly as he took it. You assumed she was his mistress, or should you say "friend"?

"Okay" you leaned forward, resting your head on your hands. You wanted to wait for the right moment to tell him, as gently as possible, to go fuck himself.

You listened to him ramble on about his job for what seemed like hours. You had never cared about his work, but at least you heard him, you had the basic respect for him that couples should have. Now that he had disrespected you in such a way, why listen to his complaints? You owed him nothing, no more.

"Oh, thanks for the food," your boyfriend said in a cheerful tone. 

Only then did you pay attention to what was in front of you. The waiter lifted the plate cover carefully, looking at both of you at the same time. He was probably a hopeless romantic.

Unlike him, you just felt nauseous enough to make you lean forward. This man seriously sucked.

"Y/N" he approached you, pulling a red velvet box out of his pocket. "These years by your side have been the happiest of my life" If he was so happy, why did he cheat on you? "I knew you would be the love of my life the moment I saw you", and that's why he was so eager for you to change to his liking instead of letting you be yourself, "and I couldn't have been more right, because, honestly, I can't see a future where you're not" he sank to one knee, bringing out a ring that looked way too ostentatious. You wanted to throw it in his face. "And I know deep down you feel the same way I do, so please do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world. Marry me."

You stared at him, clenching your fists so tightly that your palms were starting to hurt. You turned to look at the dessert the waiter had camouflaged with the plate cover. A big "Will you marry me?" was written in the center. 

And suddenly, your immature side came out. You could no longer contain your urge to punch this jerk.

"Marry you?" you muttered, taking the small cake with which he tried to propose to you. You smiled almost helplessly. "Did you seriously just ask me that?".

Jumyeon laughed, standing up from the floor and looking at you with a shit-eating grin.

"Well, I know you'll say yes, but I thought that-".

You didn't let him continue, you didn't want to keep hearing his voice, so you did the first thing that popped into your head. You threw the dessert in his face and scrubbed it until there was nothing left. And, my god, it felt so satisfying.

"How can you ask me that after spending the afternoon with your so-called friend?" you growled, leaving the plate of cake on the table. "Are you so unmanly that you need to play with two women at once!?".

You ignored the murmurs from the audience, you didn't want to draw their attention, but you were too upset to speak softly, and he was the one who decided to do this in a public place.

"What? Is your brain not capable of coming up with excuses in such a short time?" you swept him with your eyes, feeling disgusted. "Never mind, I have no interest in listening to your lies anymore anyway." 

You grabbed your purse and pulled out your wallet, throwing a few bills in his face, "So you can pay the bill." 

And you left, ignoring his screams and insults. 

And, for the first time in years, you felt free.

You smiled big as you approached the elevator, and when you came within shouting distance of excitement, a guy a little taller than you knocked you to the floor. 

You complained quietly, taking the hand he offered you, but not seeing his face. You were too happy to complain to him.

"Sorry, I didn't look where I was walking" you gave a little bow, ready to leave. Until you felt a hand stop on your wrist.

"Y/N?"

For the first time since you collided you noticed the man standing in front of you, and shit, how you wished you hadn't crossed paths with him just then.

"Yoongi" you muttered, feeling your throat dry. He looked even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. 

"You look... different" he said softly, letting go of your wrist, but not taking his gaze away from you.

"You too" you tried to smile, but you felt too uncomfortable to do so.You were embarrassed for Yoongi to see you like this. "You're back to black" you hastened to say, pointing to his hair. 

It looked much longer and shinier than the last time you saw it, and it fit him like a glove. If his intention was to make women like you want to tangle their fingers in it, he had more than succeeded.

"And you cut it" he moved his hand up to your mane. Your hair reached only a few inches below your chin, a far cry from the long, unruly style you had when you were still his girlfriend and you swore to him that you would never cut it because it was your most prized possession.

Now you feel even sillier.

"I wanted to try a new style" you nodded quickly, fiddling with the strap of your purse.You were back to feeling like a stupid teenager incapable of talking to the boy she likes. To a certain extent it was true. You were never able to get over Yoongi, you don't think you ever will at some point."But I didn't like it as much as I thought I would" you sighed, tightening the strap on your bag.

"You-?"

"Chaeyoung!" your now ex-boyfriend shouted as he ran in the direction of you and Yoongi. It didn't escape your notice that before he noticed Yoongi's presence, he was coming over annoyed enough to slap you. You saw his hand clenched tightly."What the hell was that ruckus earlier, do you know how many cameras were in the place, how many important people were there?".

"Well, maybe you should have thought your proposal through better" for a moment you completely forgot that it wasn't just the two of you in the hallway, but you didn't care.That son of a bitch deserved someone to put him in his place, and you wanted so badly to be that person yourself. "Or to have fucking zipped your pants when it belonged, or am I wrong? Because if so, say so to me and Minah for that matter, because she feels the same way I do too."

You watched as he fixed his gel-covered hair, turning away for a second to catch his breath."It was an accident, understand? It's not how she painted it."

"An accident over two years old? Can you explain to me how that works? Did you just happen to fall on her and coincidentally your penis went into her because you both happened to be unclothed in the same fucking hotel room?" you laughed listlessly, crossing your arms, "Don't you dare think I'm stupid enough to turn blind eyes to something that's been going on for years."

Yoongi, who had been silent until that moment, cleared his throat, moving forward to stand beside you. You took a breath, trying to maintain your composure in front of him. It was quite a difficult task.

"Are you Han Jumyeon by any chance?" he muttered in a monotone voice staring at your ex-boyfriend. It came to scare you a bit how cold his gaze seemed. Still you thought he was attractive.Very attractive.

"Yes" he looked at Yoongi from head to toe, he looked a little confused, but he was used to that kind of question. He was one of the most well-known businessmen in South Korea, he was in the news quite a bit, so it wasn't strange that he knew him. "Who are you?"

"Officer Min Yoongi" he pulled out his badge from his shirt pocket, "I am one of the people in charge of the investigation of Mr. Han's death, I need both you and your..." his gaze paused for a moment on you before turning back to Jumyeon, "ex-girlfriend come to the police station so I can question you."

"Did you say death?" you looked at Yoongi and then at Jumyeon, covering your mouth with your hand. You wished the worst for that... man, if that's what you could call him, but that didn't mean you wished his father had died in whatever circumstance. If Yoongi was involved in this, it meant it wasn't from natural causes. 

"What are you talking about? My father died? When? How?" he brought his hands to his hair, tugging on it lightly. "You said you were an officer, didn't you? So that means it wasn't an accident?"

You wondered internally if Yoongi saw the same twisted smile you saw.

You saw how he nodded slowly, his impassive gaze stopping on Jumyeon. He didn't seem to pity him, let alone empathize, in fact, if you still had your wonderfully useless abilities to understand Yoongi, he even seemed annoyed with him. Maybe he thought he was guilty? You would think so too after seeing the expression from earlier.

"As I told you before, I need to take you to the police station right now, we need to ask you a few questions regarding Mr. Han, I would appreciate it if you could cooperate as much as possible."

You nodded quickly, moving a little closer to Yoongi, "Did you come by car? Mine is in the parking lot."

"Don't worry, we'll go in mine," he murmured, barely brushing his fingers on your back, "go to the elevator first, I'll go next to Jumyeon."

You obeyed his command, walking to the elevator and waiting for it to reach your floor. You thundered your finger bones as you moved your left leg. You were still a bit in shock with the news, you were trying to think through your next move with Jumyeon, you didn't think things through very well before throwing the dessert in his face and shouting to the four winds that he was unfaithful to you with his best friend.

You turned to look at your ex-boyfriend, who stood next to Yoongi stiffly. He looked in your direction every so often, but averted his gaze immediately. Yoongi, on the other hand, kept his gaze fixed on you the entire time you were looking at them. It kept causing your stomach to churn and your heart to flip. 

The sound of the elevator forced you to look away from both men. To your surprise, no one was inside it, which, on the one hand, was wonderful, as you wouldn't have to put up with the strong smell of expensive perfume and conversations between strangers that sounded too empty. But, on the other hand, you had to be alone with those other two.

You shook your head, trying to get that stupid thought out of your head, and entered the elevator followed by Yoongi and Jumyeon. You convinced yourself that the tense atmosphere was due to the news Yoongi gave you, but deep down you knew it wasn't so. 

You knew your ex like the palm of your hand, you knew when he was genuinely sad and when he was not. You were aware that he wasn't feeling depressed at all, but he was angry, probably at you and whoever had attacked his father. You tried to avoid the idea of him being that way with you.

You brought your thumb to your mouth, biting your nail. Jumyeon's gaze on you was starting to feel too stinging and the fear started to grow as your head generated worst case scenarios. You had such a good imagination when it came to going against you.

The brush of fingers on your right hand made you jump in place. You turned to see who it was, and almost cried with happiness when you noticed it was only Yoongi. He discreetly caressed the knuckles of your hand, completely avoiding looking at you. 

You had forgotten how good it felt to have someone who could read your body language so easily that just by looking at you or listening to you, he would understand that you were having a hard time. Yoongi was the only person you dated who could accomplish that. Maybe that was one of the reasons why you still weren't able to forget him.

You stopped biting your nail, concentrating on Yoongi's touch on your skin. It brought back so many memories. 

"We'll talk at home about earlier" Jumyeon murmured, glancing sideways at you, "I think you're still a little confused."

"I'm not" you replied on impulse, staring at him, were you afraid? Obviously, was that going to stop you from telling him to his face? Of course not. "I gave you my answer, now act like a man for the first time in your life and accept it" you growled under your breath, holding back the urge you had to spit in his face.

You listened as Yoongi cleared his throat, and you knew he was doing it to camouflage his laughter. You didn't care, you would have done the same thing in his place.

"Stop fucking around and just say yes" Jumyeon turned to look at you, and if looks killed, you'd be on the floor, bleeding out, dying, you'd be a ghost. 

"Why don't you shut up? Your voice is annoying, it makes my head hurt" Yoongi muttered, this time taking your hand firmly. 

You internally prayed that Jumyeon wouldn't see it, you didn't want any more trouble than you already had.

The rest of the time in the elevator was in silence. Being so many floors it took you a few minutes to get down. They were the worst minutes of your life.

"We'll go in my car" Yoongi looked at Jumyeon before exiting the elevator. Holding hands with you. In front of him.

You saw out of the corner of your eye how his face distorted at the sight of your hands together. You reminded yourself that you didn't owe him any explanation. You had done nothing wrong, so why should you justify yourself? You nodded mentally, trying to encourage yourself.

Yoongi took out his key and unlocked his car. It was big and black, too shiny. You smiled as you remembered Yoongi always talked about how, when he had money, he would buy a nice apartment and a black car that looked so amazing that any teenager at his age would want one like that.

He let go of you for a moment only to open the passenger door and help you in. You screamed internally.

Jumyeon got in after you, to the back seats obviously, and before Yoongi got in and could hear him he came up to your ear.

"Wait till we get home, you fucking hypocritical bitch" he growled under his breath, returning to his seat as soon as Yoongi entered.

You looked down at your hands, staring at the nail you bit earlier. You didn't do anything wrong, you're not like him, you repeated yourself over and over, trying to ignore the pressure in your chest.

You leaned your head against the car window, watching as he started to move and head for the exit of the parking lot. You just closed your eyes, wanting to get to the station later to give your statement and get as far away from that man as possible.

You wiped away an unruly tear that dared to fall down your cheeks. He's not worth it, you told yourself, not anymore.

Masterlist

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Literature: THE SUNSHINE COURT BABYYYYY LETS GO JEAN

to begin: THE COVER???

The fucking NARCISSUS/DAFFODIL. Stop stop stop. Nora stop. She said it wouldn’t be a sun but I WASNT READY.

RESILIENCE. FIRST BLOOM AT THE END OF WINTER. NEW BEGINNINGS AND REBIRTH.

warning in advance for how many reaction images will be in this post. Miss Nora Sakavic has a way of making me unable to verbalise how devistated I am so I turn to goofy photos.

Also, just so we’re all on the same page:

it’s 1:20 AM. My roommate IS asleep. I am fighting the demons (downloading this book) but i am winning (it is queued on my kindle)

ITS DOWNLOADED LETS GO

Okay so context is that my Kindle is at 10%

I tried to go to bed and read this in the morning but I am

SO NOW I HAVE FRANTICALLY FOUGHT A WAR (figured out how to get this book) AND I AM READY FOR BATTLE (to cry over Jean)

ONE, TWO, THREE, LETS GO BITCH!!

Also my kindle cord is too small for me to properly lay in bed so im literally about to lay on my stomach kicking my feet like a middle schooler WISH. ME. LUCK.

CHAPTER ONE:

oh we’re jumping right in okay. god. hi baby :((

OH. I am just adding onto my #1 Riko hater agenda right now.

“The golden rule— not where the public can see” DIE. LITERALLY DIE TETSUJI

“The lack of broken fingers this time” THIS TIME??? JEAN. JEAN.

im so.

RENEE!!!

“and he had wasted them texting Renee a heads-up.” Nora please we’re only four pages in bro

Renee i love you im marrying you please give me a kiss. Mwah Mwah Mwah. She said “Bitch. Lay back down.”

currently also reading a batshit raven!neil fic and just. on the ground. about all of this.

stop the way I literally went “who the fuck is Nathaniel” Im too transgender for this.

Me, seeing the Abby content we need in this world:

Jean dont call that hellscape home bbg

Renee beating self worth into this man. ily

“Jean couldnt remember the last time he was allowed to wear color” LITERALLY KILL ME

Nora I need you to be less good at describing pain please and thanks

NOT THE BITING

DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK!!

he fr be moving this man like a doll. love you wymack

tied him up with racquet laces I. h. lays on floor softly crying.

NOT THE DADDY ISSUES

Jean fr out here plotting 50 ways to kill his brother. he fr though Neil was the problem. no girl Neil just has no tact and autism rizz. Kevins the fucking snitch

no one:

Jean @ the Moriyamas;

“that man is years overdue for a head-on high-speed collision” YOU TELL EM DADMACK

CHAPTER TWO:

Jean please just sleep like a normal human man. God.

Even Jean be out here like “Kevins a little Chihuahua ass drama queen. Bitchboy. Wet cat man.”

Kevin: look, bro, if the 5’3 twink with enough daddy issues to make riko blush and chugs ‘fuck around and find out’ juice for breakfast can escape the moriyamas and not die, so can you.

Testuji. Testuji when I catch you. Tetsuji

Jean what the fuck makes you think anyone but Andrew Minyard will ever tell Neil what to do. Girl.

“If I am not a Raven, who am I?” A MOTHERCUCKING TROJAN BABYYYY

“I have to go to my next class.” I forgot they were in college deadass. Neil is straight up my age im gonna throw up.

Okay. It is. *checks time* 3 AM. I cannot keep my eyes open, which means i must put Jean away for sleep.

ITS IS NOON THE FOLLOWING DAY. I HAVE SLEPT. I HAVE TAKEN MY MEDICATIONS. TIME TO HYPERFOCUS BABY.

KINDLE SAYS WE HAVE 8 hrs 27 mins LEFT IN THIS BOOK. IM SAYING GOODBYE TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I’LL SEE Y’ALL AT DINNEE TIME. ITS JEAN TIME.

Hiiiiiii Thea….

“Good morning, Paris.” Now, the average man will see this as a reference to his frenchness. but real ones know Paris is prince of Troy, the man who married Helen of Troy & started the Trojan war.

do y’all think Jean has a french accent wait wait wait. obviously itd be very slight at this point but is it there. necessary question.

Assessing Thea like a fucking state exam right now. Neil could not have cared less about your ass I am gaining so much information

Hate of my life Riko moriyama.

CHAPTER THREE:

JEREMY FUCKING KNOW HI BAYYYBY

the way I literally got up and had to pace and stim for a moment even though I fully expected this. autism. my roommate is concerned. not really. she’s used to this she watched me read TKM and dramatically reenact the Ichirou Car Talk.

wow??? AFTG team actually seems happy and well-adjusted and friendly with each other??

Random Note: I’m currently watching Blue Exorcist & one of the main characters is a girl name Moriyama and I’m literally just sitting here like “This girl is way to nice and innocent to have that name.” Because she literally is the nicest girl to ever exist. Why is she cursed with the same name as my mortal enemy (Testuji)

“Tonight’s experiment was the icing on the cake, an invaluable experience no matter how it ended.” Jeremy, my love.

He has empathy… Never before seen footage. Y’all get the cameras!!

He’s so shaken about Jean,,, holding you so gently Jeremy. Here as a guy who knows nothing at all about Jeremy since I’m. so new here. but god.

Jeremy: are you sure a Raven can abide by Troja—

Kevin: Bro Jean is so pathetic he’s a bottom fr. He never disobeys an order

Jeremy: I. Okay you didnt have to say it like that, bro.

I will literally never stop respecting the Trojans strat in the final they really said. “If these fucks can win the championships with nine players, surely we can.” and then willingly got their asses handed to them.

“Xavier stumbled when he got the next serve off, and the Fox guarding him gamely hauled him back upright before running for the ball. It was a simple gesture, but it endeared Jeremy to them” I dont remember if this bit was described in tkm so i’m going to guess that’s Nicky or Matt. Aaron would fucking never.

Nah because like. Yes this proved to the Trojans how resilient the Foxes were, but it was also a message to the audience, yk? Like we know the Foxes were getting shit for their quick rise to the top after they pulled their shit together, but I personally think that the Trojans did this both for their improvement & for Foxes’ publicity. This game proved to the public at large how devastatingly *good* the Foxes were, because of their small size. The second best team in the league crumbled playing the same conditions the Foxes did *every game* and got to championships with. They proved that Foxes were, in fact, a D1 team who earned their keep.

oh hes got daddy’s money. Well. not. officially. yo what I mean.

“it was always best to have a paper trail” Neil Josten would have an anuerysm hearing those words.

Bye Jeremy I’m. Love you so much. Why do you feel like a sixty year old man in your early twenties.

“between seven and twelve students.” yikes.

“unfamiliar and accented voice.” I WAS RIGHT I FUCKING CALLED IY HES GOT AN ACCENT BABY FUCK YEAH

“you ever feel like— like you’re making a choice you cant come back from? But even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you’d make that choice every time?” okay so coming out allegories i could make aside, Jeremy is so… where to start with him. He reminds me of Percy Jackson. Endlessly loyal and selfless to the point its a bit stupid but endearingly stupid.

CHAPTER FOUR:

Okay so we’re alresdy hateflirting. noted.

Its also extremely sunny today in Podunk Hicksville where I live so it feels very On Brand.

“Jean had seen that smile in a half-dozen broadcast… He could picture it too easily, and he dug his fingernails into his own face in vicious warning.” Awww you think you can best the gay worms in your brain. goodluck with that Johnny.

“isn’t that reason enough to keep living? To rediscover simple delight one moment at a time,” keeping this quote for eternity

“enough sunlight to chase away Evermore’s shadows. They are willing to take a chance on you. Aren’t you?”

Kevin Day autistic king. taking this hesdcannon to my grave .

“the conspiracy theorists were working overtime” no girl they just aint stupid.

THEY DESTROYED HIS POSTCARDS…

CHAPTER FIVE:

I want to start keeping record of all the times Jean is like “[name] wasn’t decent enough to [thing]” because its SO funny. We LOVE a petty king.

also keeping track of all the insults he throws at Neil.

Neil likes to think he’s SUUUUCH a loner boy no friends angsty “dont speak to me” resting bitch face ass motherfucker. In reality he is a jack russell terrier — ceritifed jack russell owner who’s dog thinks hes soooo big and bad but said dog literally cries when you dont let him in the bed or say hi to people on the street

Jean is SOOOOOO dramatic 😭😭

Jean: Why would you let Kevin do this.

Neil: let him?? He did that on his own.

Jean: you’re proud of him for being a problem, arent you?

Neil: oh you fucking know I am, bitchass

“but other than his outstanding murder charge there was nothing interesting about that Fox.” i’d consider that very interesting information, Jean. Youre just deranged

“with milk, juice, and vodka dominating one shelf” that’s Aaron, Nicky, Andrew/Kevin in order. Im correct.

“There was an entire drawer dedicated to cheese.” Yeah that sounds like Nicky.

“Half the drawer was full of mini candy bars. Jean threw them all into the trash” bro Andrew is going to kill you in cold blood and not even Neil can save you.

Jean is SO dramatic. Give him Kevin’s crown.

Jean @ Neil during the final: ARE YOU WITHOUT INTELLIGENCE????? ARE YOU STUPID??? DO YOU WANT TO DIE??

Seeing the media coverage of the championship is the food I needed thank you Nora for this. I am eating it up. om nom nom

The sportscasters referring to athletes with their first name is batshit. What. why. huh. Absolutely not.

CHAPTER SIX:

Renee protecting Jean from discovering Riko’s death through media & not through them…

Everytime boys start fistfighting in this series I hear Roxanne from Megamind. “Ladies, ladies, you’re BOTH pretty.”

a) Jeans reaction to finding out was exaclty what I expected

b) I’m FASCINATED to know who called campus security. Jeremy?? Renee?? Someone in Fox tower???

Neil was gentle with someone other than Andrew? I didnt know he knew how to do that…

NEIL. NEIL JOSTEN. YEAH BABY

HES ROOMING WITH CAT AND LAILA??? YES YEA YES YESY

the Jean-Renee dynamic is so fucking important to me. MLM/WLW solidarity. theyre besties.

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME BRO.

Literally snuggling Jeremy

Oh he’s got Fox potential. Hiiii Jeremy. Give me the traumadump bbg

THEY/THEM??? DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME OR IS THIS AN HONEST TO GOD THEY/THEM PLAYER OH ILL CRY. ILL CRU RIGHT NOW

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Oh Jean. you’re about to have such a gay awakening babe i can feel it in my bones.

A FUCKING YOYO??? I LOVE HIM

“A mite bit hecked up” PLEEEASE JUST SAY FUCK /ref

OH HE WAS IN LOVE WITH KEVIN. INTERESTING INTERESTING INTERESTING.

autism coded lookingg motherfucker (stares at Jean.)

The chaos of Cat and Laila’s house is so fucking cute. Its about to be two lesbians and their distrustful pitbull rescue in this bitch and im ready for it.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

watching normal people discover the cult that is Evermore. Finally someone having a normal response to that madness. What the FUCK.

wait theres actually a cardboard dog i thought it was fanon joke.

oh my god there is actually a fucking cardboard dog. i.

jeans brain just got actually shattered by this living room. he cannot comprehend this.

Cat & Jeremy, realizing the cult rumors are real: I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING! I thought it was joke! I even wrote it down in my diary! “Kevin made a very funny joke today!” I laughed at it later that night!

Okay, last night; I went to bed at 2:30 AM 45% through (college my beloathed). we’re back in business.

Jeremy is so disturbed all of the time. goofy ass.

“Loving something is not enough,”

“When was the last time you enjoyed playing?”

“ Irrelevant.”

Whats his shirt look like Jeremy. Jeremy whats the shirt look like. Jeremy. Whats the shirt look like.

Okay so I’ve reached my image limit for this post and I dont have fun reaction images on my laptop. so now I will post this & reblog with the rest of this book.

[starrynightsoversunflowers]

Having watched the copa but only speaking a speck of Spanish is making my dash a delightful interpretation puzzle rn thank you for all the memes I’m sending to my friend who invited me to her watch party 🙏

Kcjdjc i'm glad you liked the memes. in conclusion:

La copa América was held in the us which was a TERRIBLE host. Horrible fields, horrible conditions. No respect for neither players or fans. They wanted to do a half time show like their superbowl with shakira and it fucking sucked. She sang in english at the argentina - colombia match. That is the biggest betrayal for us

Also there was sooo little security. Fans were fighting and no one was doing anything. People got in without tickets and they didn't know how to handle it. The final started an hour and a half later. Usians don't know how to handle latinoamericans who don't have 1000 USD but are still passionate about fútbol (this is like. something that happens every weekend in most parts here)

Then there was the final! It's always said that argentinians are always suffering and everyone hates us. And it's true! But that only makes us more powerful. The match lasted 1000 years but we made it and we're champions once again!

Some highlights:

It was Ángel Di María's last match. Fideo. He's a sweetheart and an amazing player. They won this for him.

Messi got hurt and had to be replaced. He was crying. They won this for him.

Dibu is a fucking wall. None shall pass. He's also incredibly funny and a does little dances. Everyone wants him carnally (except if you're not argentinian. In which case everyone hates him but that only makes him more powerful)

Lautaro got put very later on and made the gol. He was the jinxed one before the copa and then became the main goaler. We love you toro.

Shoutout to our defense players who gave everything.

The match had to be extended another half an hour and we scored when there were like 10 mins left. Everyone in argentina was having heart problems by that time (or they gave up and went to sleep. It was 1:30 a.m.)

And in the end. Having had all of latin america against us. Some fucking horrible fields. Unbearable heat. People killing themselves outside. No captain from the second half. A terrible and anticlimactic half time show. 120+ minutes playing. We still did it.

Once again. Campeones de América for the second time in a row 🩵⭐🌟⭐🩵