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achillieus · 4 years

Text

we’re fools. (bucky barnes x reader)

summary: for all bucky barnes knows, he hates clichés. and this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one.

(enemies to lovers trope or i watched the society on netflix recently and based this entirely on harry bingham and cassandra pressman)

pairing: college au!bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol, angst, too much tension, bucky and reader are stupid and in denial, sexual tension all around the place

tagging: @tonystankschild

(other parts) (masterlist)

part 2/3:

And then it’s the last week of February and you have an assignment together, you and Bucky, the boy with black hair and a mind that you’re certain is not as clever as he insists it is. You know this cannot possibly end well. You feel it when he sits beside you and his knee brushes past your leg. You feel it when you take a breath and smell his aftershave. Sandalwood and vanilla. It makes you want to lick your lips. Please, get a grip. You try to get away, even propose to write the whole thing alone so you wouldn’t have to spend any time around him. In your mind, you call it self defense. But Bucky’s boastful and you can see him pumping the muscles in his neck, trying to intimidate you.

“My dorm, tomorrow at 7,” he says “Don’t be late.”

(your late night instagram search history)

(00:38 AM) #literaturememes

(01:15 AM) @buckybrns

(01:30 AM) #newgirl

(01:50 AM) @buckybrns

(02:10 AM) @buckybrns

You find it annoying; how he’s present even when he’s not around.

The thing about Bucky Barnes is that everyone, boys and girls, adore him alike. He’s charming, he’s crafty, he’s brilliant. He’s everything they want him to be and even more. It nearly condones his megalomania.

The thing about Bucky Barnes is that he’s aware he has an audience. Always plans his moves, knows how to play his character perfectly. He wears dark designer jeans and plain Henley shirts, buttons open, fabric tight around his biceps. Sometimes even a black leather jacket and a tag necklace. Girls are intrigued by the bad-boy, straight A student contrast, while the boys are envious enough keep him close and invite him to all of their parties. Bucky gives them whatever they need.

The thing about Bucky Barnes is that he’s utterly lonely. He has never said so, but it’s the truest thing about him. He has Sam. But for how long? Bucky’s used to people going away. It has been imprinted on him. His best friend, Steve, left with his girlfriend in an exchange program last month and Natasha, the one girl he ever came close to loving, just started dating Clint Barton. Clint fucking Barton. What a downgrade.

And then there’s you, sitting at the end of his bed, playing with the ring in your finger, reading some neatly written lecture notes. Usually, Bucky would think about 129 cheeky comments he could make to a girl in his room. But not to you. Are you sure, Bucky? He has grown accustomed to disliking you. It’s the one constant he has left and he’s not planning on losing it.

He leans down and takes the place next to you, a bottle of beer dangling loosely in his hand.

He offers and you decline.

“We need to concentrate on the project.”

“You’re the biggest killjoy.” Bucky says with a hint of a smirk.

“I’m studying, Bucky.” He can see your left hand holding that dark green pen in a tight grip and your eyes trying to focus everywhere but on his face. He can see your hair glistening in the warm afternoon light that comes from his window. He can see the soft red blush on your cheeks and the beauty mark on your neck. What a tricky thing it is to see. And to feel. And to want.

Is that what dislike tastes like, Bucky?

He talks a lot, that’s the first thing you notice. He says all sorts of things, most of them having nothing to do with your project. You’re certain it’s because he’s feeling as uncomfortable and agitated as you. But still, it’s annoying as hell.

“Listen,” you say and turn to his side “I’m not going to fail this class just because you have the attention span of a two year old.”

A laugh escapes his lips and you watch, completely in awe, the way little wrinkles form around his eyes and his nose scrunches. Right now, he looks tender and warm. No, he doesn’t.

“I think we’re both pretty smart,” Bucky says nonchalant and wets his lower lip with his tongue, before he adds, “We’ve got this, so relax doll.”

There are rules, things that are solid, de facto.

Example 1: Bucky never praises you. At least not out loud.

Example 1: Not valid anymore.

Example 2: Bucky uses the word “doll” approximately ten times a day. To other girls. The girls he likes. Not to you.

That’s actually wrong, he called you doll the first time you met. That doesn’t count. He didn’t know you then.

Example 2: Not valid anymore.

It feels foreign. Pleasant and beguiling, but foreign.

“You always call girls “doll”. What is this?” You ask and he looks up. “Is it like your thing, your flirt move?”

Bucky meets your gaze, his forehead creased, and holds it for some seconds before he laughs again. Is this amusing him?

“No, I’m serious.” You bite your lip. “You even did it to me when we first met.”

“I did?”

Of course he doesn’t remember, what did you expect?

“Yeah, when you helped me find the admission office.”

“And you remember that, an entire year later?” He raises his eyebrows, looking entertained and partly interested.

Your mind empties and for some time you feel out of place, embarrassed. But you’re quick to recollect yourself. You can’t let him get you.

“It was my first day as a college student, I remember all of it.”

Liar. You don’t even remember who you sat next to.

Bucky smirks a little too long for your liking and then he leans in, his body bending in a way that makes you forget to breath. He’s so close and you only see blue, a rare kind of blue between the depths of the ocean and the brightest shade of the sky at noon. This would be so much easier if he wasn’t that handsome. Handsome and indomitable. What an awful combination.

“Interesting.” He whispers and lies back, touching the wall.

You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and clear your throat.

“I should go, it’s obvious we’re not making any progress.” You pick your books and stand up. “Sometimes I wonder how you get all those perfect grades, you clearly-” You merely finish your sentence before he grabs your arm and swiftly, he has you pressed against his wooden bookcase. You don’t have time to blink.

What’s happening? He was sitting down a second ago.

“That day,” he says while his thumb draws circles on your wrist. “You were wearing a denim dress and some Saturn shaped earrings. And you were holding a cherry juice box.”

It’s utterly terrifying how your emotions toss and turn the moment you realize what he’s talking about and the fragile muscles of your heart ache because Bucky cares. Bucky remembers.

“It wasn’t my first day of college, but I remember.”

You want to throw up. Or kiss him. You’re not sure. You know you hate Bucky. Do you? You’ve taught yourself to. And it was never supposed to change. It shouldn’t have to.

You part your lips to say something, anything, but he shakes his head and steps back.

“You should go.”

And you do. And you’ll never tell him, but you’ll always regret not kissing him then. You’re sure now.

your inbox, the next morning

(10:25 AM) from [email protected]

I’m sending you our assignment. You only need to add a few things and it’s done. If anything else comes up, it’s better we work on our own.

For Bucky, it all came crashing down the moment he first saw you. It was all over the moment his eyes met yours. A gourmand perfume lingered in the air around you that day and it stained his pores. And it’s been with him since then. Clinging onto his flesh.

It’s partly obsessive and partly romantic and Bucky tries to keep it locked inside. He thinks he can make it go away easily, the way he flicks a crumb off his expensive cashmere scarf. He thinks if he doesn’t talk about it, it’ll be less true. That’s not how things work, Bucky.

Yeah, he’s starting to notice.

And he’s trying so hard to hate you. The problem is, he doesn’t think he can.

(his late night instagram search history)

(00:45 AM) #tomfordperfumes

(01:30 AM) @y/n

(01:50 AM) #funnycats

(02:15 AM) @y/n

(03:45 AM) @y/n

You make it your mission to avoid him and it’s going well until the fifth of March. You spot him at Sam Wilson’s party. You should have known he’d be here, they’re friends. There’s a thick cloud of cigarette smoke all around, but still, you can perfectly see him. He’s standing alone, his skin changing colors under the neon lights, a plastic cup in his hand, eyes crystal blue and swollen and fixated on you.

The room is small and everything feels known but unfamiliar at the same time; the atmosphere, his gaze, the lump on your throat.

They’re suffocating you, the looks you give each other.

“Buck, what do you want?” Sam asks, holding both vodka and gin and he observes the way Bucky merely turns his head to look at him.

What do you want Bucky?

Not to play a role anymore. For Steve to be back. Maybe, Natasha. No, he hasn’t thought about her in a month. Perhaps a Pulitzer Prize. Definitely a new pair of sunglasses. But there is one more answer he has behind his teeth.

Y/N, he almost says. Always.

“Vodka.”

He leaves before midnight and you can’t remember where the urge came from, yet you’re following him. You know he has noticed. But he just keeps walking until he reaches the door of his dorm and presses his back against it. He sees you and you see him and his eyes cut your heart open.

“Your place is on the other side of the building.”

“I know,” you mumble, “I just never got to say good job on the assignment and I wanted to.” You are unable to meet his eyes. You sound pitiful and you want to hit a wall; with your head.

Why the hell did you follow him here?

Because sometimes you do stupid things.

Bucky mockingly opens his mouth, as if shocked. It almost makes you groan.

“Did Miss high and mighty just comment something nice about me?”

“Why do you have to contradict everything I say?”

He shakes his head and you can feel your heart beat loud and irregular and it’s not because you’re mad. It’s because he’s coming closer, almost chest to chest now. And it’s because you can swear, he just glanced at your lips.

“Someone has to, you can’t act like you know everything all the time.”

“I don’t do that, you don’t know a thing about me Bucky.”

“Oh, but I do. You’re Y/N, you like plaid skirts and Homer and dark green pens. You expect everyone to be perfect. You expect yourself to be perfect. And you always want to do the right thing.”

His pupils are dilated. Yours must be too. Bucky Barnes is dangerous and fatal. He makes your blood coil and your mouth dry. And there’s a tension, almost pain, almost agony, deep in your lungs and it burns. And you don’t know who leaned in first, probably you because Bucky isn’t that brave yet, but suddenly your hands are everywhere. Your fingers blending in his hair, his digging in the skin on the back of your neck. He’s bringing you closer and it’s a mess and all you can hear is the beating of your heart; a rapid vibration between your ears. It’s pure and raw and it doesn’t hurt anymore.

He tastes like ambrosia and a year-old despair and you think you can go on forever. You eventually break apart because you both need to breath and for a second you worry because he looks like he’s ready to cry, but instead he smiles, softly touching your cheek.

“Did I do the right thing?” You whisper.

...

feedback is so appreciated and motivates me tons, thank you :)

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #college au #bucky barnes imagine #au!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #alternate universe #alternate universe bucky #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #fools

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deniigi · 4 years

Text

Trope: Homeless Peter

Title: what is home if not a vehicle

Summary: Space-fish attack the Great State of New York, and in the mess, the Avengers lose the goddamn kid.

------------

His knees shook when he finally peeled back the helmet and it was a monumental task—the towering, marble kind—to lift one foot and then the other out of the footwell of the suit stand.

But Tony managed it.

You know, like a fuckin’ superhero.

He had this.

He maybe had a head injury and couldn’t see through all the blood dripping down his right eye—but you know what?

A fuckin’ superhero.

That’s me.

Ahahaha—

“TONY.”

Why hello, adoring fan. What a coincidence to meet you on the floor like this.

“What are you doing?”

Having a little lay down, my dear.

“GET UP.”

Wow, that’s a tone to take with a guy who volunteered to be the can in a state-wide Alien Kick-the-Can tournament. A little appreciation would be nice.

“Tony,” Pepper emphasized. “You need to get up.”

Why? Was there another alien? Tony was having a merry time here on the floor. Only more superheroing could move him, and even that was on thin ice given the whole knobbly-knee, shaky-hands situation.

“Peter’s gone.”

Tony’s head shot up.

“He’s not gone,” he said. “He’s with Falcon.”

Pepper’s eyes were very blue and ringed by white on every side.

“No,” she said. “He’s gone. Get. Up.”

Pepper’s hands came around and grabbed his face before he could get another good smash in for it on the desk in front of him.

May Parker was in tears. She had every right to be. Cap was consoling her, promising her that they would find Peter while she fanned her dripping mascara.

And Tony?

Tony was exhausted. And now he had that weird gut-gnawing, gurgling feeling in his stomach, which, combined with the head injury that he was turning slowly into an actual hole straight to his brain (if Pepper would let go, anyways), was paving the way for a future spent at the foot of the porcelain altar.

The kid. Had been. RIGHT. There.

Rhodey had confirmed this. He’d been RIGHT there. Tony had been keeping an eye on him and all that bouncy puppy energy. And when he could no longer do that (see: volunteering to be bait, also known as An Activity Not Appropriate for Minors to Witness), he’d handed him off to Sam.

He’d handed him off to Sam.

Sam was the second most level-headed person on the entire team. Rhodey was the first, and okay, he was mostly first because Tony was biased towards his best friend, but the point remained.

Sam had had the baby.

Sam said that he had had the baby, too. Until he couldn’t have the baby because A) the baby was very slippery and B) the baby apparently smelled like food to giant alien creatures with blue glowing tongues and drippy teeth, and so Sam had sent the baby far the fuck away from that action.

He’d told him to go give Bruce support in the north of the city.

Bruce had tears in his eyes when he said that he’d worked with Peter for a whole fifteen minutes before they’d gotten separated by a building collapsing nearly on top of them. The Hulk didn’t have time to babysit Spiders when that was happening. The Hulk just got angry and launched himself at the face of the fuckin’ space-kaiju that had caused it.

No one could fault him for this.

But that also meant that, two hours into a 48 hour melee, they’d lost the youngest team member.

May Parker was glued to her phone and the news, and Tony could hear the tinny voice of Peter’s voice message echoing out of her phone even from there, even through her hiccups and Steve’s soothing Captain America tones.

Steve said that Peter was a smart boy. He was a strong boy. He’d know that they were looking for him and he’d done way, way worse than two days of fighting before. He’d know when to find a safe place and stay put for long enough to regain his energy.

And more than that, he knew New York like the back of his hand. He’d come home, May.

He’d come home.

Tony was about to swear to this poor woman that he would personally deliver her child to her doorstep when the klaxons crashed through the building and sent Tony’s whole body into a state of temporary numbness with pain.

The room went red.

The room went red again

Everyone turned slowly towards the window and Tony barely saw Steve throwing up the shield and reaching for May Parker at the same time before he reacted.

Pepper went down under the desk.

The glass exploded.

And here we go again.

---

Just for the record—just for the fucking record—Tony wanted it known that he hated Albany.

It was flat.

Its skyline was boring as hell.

And Tony was 99.9% sure that there a mass illness among the people of this city.

Rhodey informed him that he was only thinking that because his interactions with humanity at street level came from New Yorkers and Los Angeles folks, neither of whom could find it in their souls to give a shit about what other people shouted at them.

Rhodey further explained patiently that the reaction of most people in the continental US to a known superhero telling them to get the fuck out of the way was not, in fact, being told ‘no YOU move, motherfucker.’

Tony didn’t get it.

Steve laughed so hard he sort of collapsed onto Sam’s shoulder and started making this sound that reminded Tony of a sob.

They all needed sleep. It had been four days.

But then, like a champion of all 8-year-olds, a little girl piped up from somewhere in the crowd that had gathered around their Avengers team huddle, “Hey! Where’s Spiderman?”

And all bodies went from sobbing to swearing.

The damn kid.

---

It had been a week. May Parker had filed Peter as missing. He still hadn’t come home and he wasn’t even close to getting home because Tony had just gotten a call from Wolver-fucking-ine himself asking if he knew Baby Webs.

“He downed a space-fish in Gloversville,” Wolverine said. “And Scott nearly swiped him up, but he ain’t moved fast enough, and Websy noticed him first. He went and hid in the sewer and kept hissing at us for hours. Tried to feed him, but he wants nothin’ to do with us.”

Peter.

Peter, no.

X-men are friends.

“Did you manage to grab him?” Tony asked, already resigned to the answer.

“He ran off.”

Fuck.

“Sorry about that.”

Fuck.

“He’s a bitty one, ain’t he?”

“He’s fifteen.”

“Jesus.”

“I know,” Tony said. “We’re trying to grab him. It’s been a week. His phone’s dead and his mom’s freaking out, and I swear, he’s never been that far out of a city.”

Wolverine made a contemplative sound.

“Alright, we’ll keep a better eye out,” he said. “He can’t have gone far. He ain’t swingin’ with that web shit.”

He must have run out of that, too.

Peter, honey. Just. Stand. Still.

Forget the space-fish. For like, two hours.

---

May asked Pepper to ask Tony what felt like ages later if the X-men had any more information on her kid. Pepper said that she sounded defeated.

Tony wished that he had more to give her besides a handful of blood from the torn skin on his hip and the words that Scott Summers had passed along just the day previous.

“The kid followed the last fish out,” Summers said. “I’m sorry, Stark. I tried to nab him, but that thing was taking down trees and we all got buried.”

---

Two weeks.

Two whole weeks the boy had been missing and only now were the space-fish starting to let up. Part of that had to do with the fact that Barton had figured out that if you went for the eyes, forsook any sense of self-preservation and decency, and climbed into the gaping hole you left there, you could smash the thing’s brain and take it down to earth like Cap nose-diving into the Atlantic.

Steve had passed through all the stages of grief into hysteria this last week.

No one could talk to him because he started laughing and then weeping in a span of 15 seconds.

Natasha and Sam were on it.

Barnes was out with Barton, laying waste to wading pool that was Rochester at the moment. And that finally gave Tony the time that he needed to go out and search for the kid.

Rhodey came with and they ended up in Horseheads of all places, asking people on the street if they’d seen a Spiderman approximately a half the size they expected him to be.

People in Horseheads said no, that was Buffalo that had had the Spiderchild flinging himself around in it.

So they headed for Buffalo, only to get a message halfway there from Barnes that he’d almost caught the little shit in Rochester. Barton was after him as they spoke.

On foot apparently.

“He looks like shit, Stark,” Barnes said, huffing while he ran. “Clint’s on his tail now though, but I think he thinks he’s in trouble, so he’s—WAIT NO. BARTON.”

And the line went off.

And Rhodey groaned for both of them.

----

Rochester contained a very wet, very frustrated Hawkeye and zero Bucky Barneses.

Hawkeye said that they’d nearly had Peter. But then.

He gestured furiously out to the harbor which was full of wreckage from the ensuing battle on shore.

Tony asked him if they had it handled or if they needed backup, to which Hawkeye said that only God knew shit at this point. He was just a human football, being punted back and forth across the state of New York in a way that his soul truly deserved.

Barton perhaps needed both a nap and a meal or two in him.

Peter probably needed days of both of those things.

“Yeah, no. I asked around and people have seen him bopping around the pigeons and gulls,” Barton said. “Some lady told us that she saw him coming out of a park bathroom. Another gal said she saw him tucked up on a roof and lured him down. She said she thought he was some homeless teenager and was worried ‘cause he was up there without a coat. She was surprised as hell when he was the real thing and asked her for a map. Said his phone was busted and he was trying to find the train station.”

Kiddo.

“He’s makin’ it, Stark,” Barton said. “Not sure how. But he’s makin’ it.”

That wasn’t comforting.

---

Chasing after Peter wasn’t working. He kept slipping through their fingers and getting startled by people chasing him.

He seemed a little paranoid. Although that was probably because folks had started to change tact and approach him out of their suits.

They’d skimmed right past the part where Peter didn’t really know most of them out of their suits. And then they’d skimmed right past the part where most of them, out of their suits, didn’t look anything like the pictures that the paps took of them.

JB’s hair was long as hell. Natasha wore little make up and didn’t both straightening her ginger mane. Sam’s fade was looking a little lopsided with the piece of glass that the docs had had to dig out of it, and so a hat was his primary mode of fashion at the moment. Steve’s out-of-suit fashion could be described as ‘Jock with Tats Wears Cardigan and Dock Martins. More at 11.’

They’d all gone too far into being people and Peter now thought that he was being pursued by undercover SHIELD agents.

And, like the genius child that he was, he’d realized that his reds were catching attention and, now that the space-fish were a less pressing issue, and now that he was up in colder climes, he’d swapped them for some street clothes. And now no one had seen Spiderman.

Including the other Avengers.

The fastest way to find him was through facial recognition software, but someone out there, infuriatingly, seemed to be teaching Peter how to live like this.

The features Tony put in everyone’s new chunky glasses only ever caught him just before he turned tail and started sprinting.

And goddamn, that kid was fast.

Tony himself had chased him through Nowheresville, Fuck This State, and even that seemed ineffective.

He didn’t understand.

Peter knew who he was. He knew his voice.

Right?

Why was he running? Why was he still running?

May thought that he must have gotten it into his head that everyone was furious with him. She said that Peter’s guilt complex was wide and deep and he often slunk home late and hid from her if he thought she was mad.

He wasn’t super great with confrontation outside of his red and blues.

But something was also going on with May. Tony wasn’t sure what it was until Barton came into his lab where Tony was bouncing between trying to find where Peter’s suit had last been and trying to pry the enormous scales off a space-fish head.

“Tony,” Barton said. “Mrs. Parker’s lost faith in us.”

Tony laid his head against the scaly mass in front of him and sighed.

“You know what? That’s fair,” he said.

If some of the world’s so-called finest couldn’t even catch a literal child after three weeks of trying, Tony would have said that they were a bunch of useless fucks, too.

“She came to me and asked me if I’d help her try something different,” Barton said. “So I’m gonna need you to trust me, man.”

Trust him?

Sure, why not?

At this point, nothing Tony or Rhodey or Natasha tried had worked. So why not Barton? He was the one who kept getting the closest to the kid.

He had his own little menace he was chasing around anyways. He knew this shit.

“Glad you think so,” Barton said. “But I need like, a written agreement that you ain’t gonna scream at me, okay?”

Written agreement. Pft. Okay.

---

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?”

Barton stared at Tony and pointed at Rhodey like a tattle-tell. Tony was exhausted.

“TONY.”

He was so tired, Rhodey.

“You cannot sanction this,” Rhodey said.

Tony wasn’t sanctioning anything. He was just letting the aunt take the reins.

“We are not sending the Punisher after a child,” Rhodey said.

“The jokes on you, bub,” Clint told him. “The Punisher is already keeping an eye out for the child and you know what? He’s got a bite.”

Silence flooded the meeting room. Sam Wilson turned around slowly in his chest and moved his icepack to the other hand.

“Say that again,” he said.

Barnes’s eyes went huge like a cat and Nat leaned her elbows onto his shoulders.

“I said,” Barton scoffed at them, “The Punisher’s still upstate. I sent him a text explaining shit. He’s got a soft spot for babies. You know, latent dad instincts and all that, and he’s been homeless for like, years now. So he said he’ll keep an eye out. He’s got an idea of a few places where kids around Peter’s age go when they’ve got nowhere else to.”

Tony stomped down on the urge to say that Peter wasn’t like those kids; he did have a place to go. He was just misunderstanding the situation. He was just fifteen and tired and not thinking logically. Translating people chasing him as anger instead of help.

Man, all those straight As really put that kid’s fear of abandonment into perspective now.

Tony didn’t even know how to approach him anymore.

He wasn’t a dad. No one on this team was a dad. They didn’t know how to talk to kids. Or if they did, not teenagers.

So you know what?

If the Punisher thought he could grab the kid, then he should.

----

And the Punisher did.

Tony had never spoken directly to the man. The whole team went silent when Barton answered the call and then said, “hold on, let me put you on speaker.”

The Punisher’s voice was husky and hoarse with his whisper.

“Got him,” he said softly.

Tony covered his eyes in relief.

“He’s sleepin’,” The Punisher said. “Real adaptable. You weren’t kiddin’, Barton.”

“Thank god,” Steve said.

“He hurt?” Barton asked.

“Yeah,” the Punisher said. “He ain’t let me look ‘im over, but he’s got scabs all over. Cute kid. Once we were on the same page, he came willingly enough.”

What did that mean?

“Means I had to find some vegetarian shit from McDonalds,” the Punisher said like Tony was an idiot. “Kid’s hungry. Cold. Needs a bath. Found him tucked up with some others. They ain’t wanna come like him. But they’re good kids with good folks; they told him that if he had someone waiting on him, he should go.”

They’d done what?

The Punisher snorted.

“Homeless folks aren’t stupid, moneybags,” he said. “They got problems, but they aren’t stupid. And they ain’t want my help, so that’s that. You give ‘em some money and let ‘em do what they need to.”

What.

“I know, it’s almost like their lives ain’t your business,” the Punisher huffed.

He was kind of a dick.

“You headed back this way?” Barton asked.

“That’s a negative,” the Punisher said.

Rhodey went stiff.

“But don’t worry, I got someone to leave him with when I get to where I’m goin’,” the Punisher said. “He’ll bring him down your way.”

Barton sighed.

“Thanks, Frank,” he said. “We owe you one.”

“I don’t want your debt,” the Punisher said. He said nothing.

“I owe you one,” Barton corrected.

“Damn right, you do, Sparky.”

“Collect when you’re ready,” Barton said.

“Copy that.”

Barton hung up and stared with crystal eyes into Tony soul.

“Someone tell the kid’s aunt,” he said.

---

The Punisher went up to Niagara Falls, whereupon he handed Peter off to Deadpool.

Tony almost had a stroke.

May Parker slapped a hand onto her chest and sighed in relief.

“Thank god,” she said.

Thank god?

More like, god have mercy, no?

“No, thank god,” May said.

May had Deadpool’s number in her goddamn phone. Tony was dumbfounded.

“Eyyyyyy,” Deadpool cheered when he answered May’s call. “Well, look who it is. Pete—heya babycakes, you—? Okay, no. Sorry, we had a big day at the falls. He’s tired.”

Deadpool cackled. May huffed out a chuckle and shook her head.

“Thank you, Wade,” she said tearfully. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Deadpool said cheerfully. “Little Scrappy’s just scrappier. He ain’t hurt bad. Just a little shaken. Got that good anxiety. Six kinds of paranoia, look at ‘im go. That’s healthy, that’s what that is.”

It was not, Mr. Pool.

“Who’s makin’ that racket in the background?” Deadpool asked.

May explained that she was in the company of the Avengers. She did not say that half of them were shocked stupid. She did not say that Rhodey was clawing his hands at the sky and lamenting a career in military service being useless compared to fuckin’ Deadpool’s sunny disposition.

“Ah,” Deadpool said. “Well, I’m just gonna not say shit to him about that.”

“That’s fine,” May said. “Tell him I love him and I’m not mad. I’ve just been worried. Where’s his phone?”

“Oh, honey. You should see it. Kid fished it out of the sea,” Deadpool said. “I found a fuckin’ barnacle in it. Pretty impressive how small them things get, you know what I mean?”

Somehow, May did. Even though Tony emphatically did not.

“How long?” she asked.

“Ehn. Well. I got a job . Then I’m meeting someone in Syracuse. But you know what’s good news?”

“What?” May asked.

“Red’s at a conference in Ithaca,” Deadpool said. “He said he can swipe Spiderkid up from the bus station.”

Red?

Who was Red?

“You serious right now, DP?” Barnes asked.

“Ohhhh, why hello there, Winter. Didn’t see you there,” Deadpool said. “I am indeed serious. I’ll put the kid on a bus to Cornell or where the fuck ever and our Hornheaded friend will grab him before he scurries off to the wind again. He’ll be fine. Car rides are lullabies to him.”

May seemed touched.

“I’ll wire you the money, Wade,” she said.

“Huh? Oh, no. Don’t worry about it. I’m puttin’ it in the favor box,” Deadpool said. “Barnesy, my boy. Red hates everything upstate and his boo-bear’s got family they’re gonna visit in Poughkeepsie. Can one of you darling blockheads meet him up there to take the kid, so he doesn’t ruin his one and only chance at marriage?”

What.

The fuck.

Was happening?

“Uuuuh, when? Tomorrow?” Barton asked.

“Two days from now,” Deadpool said. “If you can’t, don’t sweat it. I got a gal who’s willing to pick him up.”

“I can go as far as Paterson,” Barnes said out of nowhere. “If your gal can bring him down that far, that’d be good. I’ll bring the bike.”

“Oh, that’ll be fun,” Deadpool said. “Totally doable. I’ll give her a call and send you an address. Thanks a million, Winter.”

Barnes sniffed.

“It’s cool. Show him a picture of me so he ain’t bolt again,” he said.

“Copy that,” DP said. “I’ll let him know what you said, May. Bye for now.”

He hung up.

May Parker deflated into a puddle of relief.

Tony still didn’t know what was happening.

“Wilson’s gonna hand the kid off to Daredevil,” Barton explained. “And DD will take him with him to Poughkeepsie, where Wilson’s contact—the fuck is her name, Barnes?”

“Domino,” Barnes said.

“That’s the one,” Barton said. “She’ll pick him up, probably with Summers, and bring him down to Paterson and then Barnes’ll go grab him from there and bring him home.”

That—

Wh—

Why couldn’t they, the Avengers, have orchestrated this? This was not hard. This was advanced Connect Four.

“Sometimes, you can’t think like a hero,” Barton told him. “You gotta think like a vigilante.”

---

Peter came home. Barnes swept him up from the station in Paterson and tossed him over a shoulder. And Tony came into the medical bay as soon as he got word of their arrival to find him sprawled out there still, asking Barnes a thousand questions about fuckin’ heroin.

God, lord, Jesus.

Someone spare Tony’s soul.

Peter noticed him and reacted by slipping off Barnes’s shoulder and hiding behind him as though he expected Tony to start shouting at any moment.

And for a moment, Tony almost felt like he should have.

But he wasn’t Peter’s dad. And Peter hadn’t done that shit on purpose. He’d just been scared and when he got scared, he’d decided to turn towards people he knew he could trust.

The other street level guys. People like him.

Tony couldn’t be angry with him for that.

So he came over and collapsed into the chair next to Peter’s assigned bed and held out his arms.

“Hugs for an old man?” he asked.

Peter peeked out from behind Barnes and lit up.

His hug was crushing. His clothes were rank and his wrists looked skinny and he was as pale as Tony had ever seen him, but he was here.

And he was chillin’.

“Next time, just stay in the city, alright?” Tony said. “We got the state. You got the city. At least until you’re old enough to have your own credit card, yeah?”

“Kay,” Peter hummed.

“You scared the shit out of us, kiddo.”

Peter pulled away from him and hopped back up on the bed.

“Is my aunt coming?” he asked.

Tony sighed.

She was.

“Cool, I missed her. My phone broke and maps are hard. I got like four of them. Folks kept givin’ theirs to me, even though I needed like, money.”

Tony leaned forward and held his face in his hands.

“Yeah?” he finally managed to say.

“Yeah,” Peter hummed. “It’s really hard to get a bus with no money. And they don’t even have buses in a lot of places, you know? Like, Uber isn’t even a thing out there. You’ve just gotta have a car or know someone who does.”

Bless.

“Wade says that I’m a city boy.”

That’s ‘cause you are, child.

“But I slept in a tree, so that’s camping.”

It’s not.

“And there was a raccoon. So that’s camping.”

It’s really, really not.

“I saw Cyclops and he tried to laser-eyes me, but, get this, I Lizard-ed him. Went into the sewers like Connors. I mean, he’s a jerk, but he’s definitely right to stick to the sewers. It’s warm down there. Can you imagine if the X-men X-manned me, though? Wade says that they do that to people.”

Tony was melting.

“They definitely do that to people,” Barnes said.

Vigilantes, man. The lies they spread.

“I made some friends in Buffalo,” Peter carried on. “They’re nice. They used to live in Rochester. They saw me fighting a space-fish, and they said that was cool as hell. And so they were tellin’ me about garbage plates and then Chelsea’s mom told me I needed to go home because May probably wasn’t mad and it was getting too cold. And then she made me promise not to do drugs. And when Mr. Castle showed up, she waved him down—I like her a lot. I gave them my money so that they could sleep in the shelter and I think Mr. Castle gave her more money, but he gave me and Chelsea McDonalds. And it was like, so good, Mr. Stark. I forgot how much I like McDonalds.”

Fuckin’ garbage plates.

“I’m gonna make one,” Peter hummed.

Someone come take these kid home already.

----------------------------------

Problems I have with the Trope:

So I don’t know the homeless Peter trope very well, but I don’t love it because in order to write it, you have to remove May from the picture, pretty much entirely. Folks either tend to kill her or make her abusive and that’s fucked up to do to, not only Peter’s remaining family member, but to a civilian female character.

I also don’t love this trope because I don’t love Irondad and the homeless Peter trope is pretty much designed for him to be saved by Tony.

The third reason I don’t enjoy this trope is because I don’t think enough people do their research on, not only what it takes to become homeless (especially for a minor), but how broad definitions of homelessness are. People who are homeless don’t just live on the street; they live in cars, they couch surf, they work hard to be clean, they have jobs.

And the last reason (for now), that I find this trope difficult is Peter’s age. Age is the hardest shit. A homeless 14-15 yo is kind of difficult to work with because there are layers of safety nets and, if you don’t kill May or make her abusive, it is next to impossible to work through her responsible nature and stability to put her and Pete out on the street plausibly (and I refused to compromise on this, which is how I ended up with this accidental loss). It would be much easier to write a homeless Peter as a college student.

#fic #ficlet #trope subversion #Peter Parker #I'm still taking trope suggestions if you'd like to see one subverted/flipped

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fieryfantasybooklover · 4 years

Text

Scythes And Stories - Chapter 6 - Twists Of Fate

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

---------------------------------------------------

“So you’re telling me that… you are the escaped princess of Solis?” Alastair said slowly, trying to parse out the truth of the words. Ariadne nodded. “And that this is the infamous assassin, the Lady of Death?” Thomas continued, cutting his gaze towards Anna. “I’m flattered that you’ve heard of me, all the way here in Luna.” Anna chimed in. She was currently sprawled across the couch of the boat’s hold, playing with a bone dagger. “Of course we’ve heard of you. You’re either more stupid than you look, or truly ignorant of how much you’ve been employed by the Luna Council.” Alastair smirked, clearly reveling in Anna’s widened eyes and shocked expression. “I’m going to continue this discussion, because obviously these two nitwits wouldn’t bother too.” Cordelia interjected, grinning in response to Alastair’s glare. “If I am correct in my assumptions, you are Lucie Herondale.” she said, gesturing towards Lucie. “That is correct.” Lucie said, mock-curtseying. “So you must be the mysterious and handsome stranger she eloped with.” Cordelia finished, raising her eyebrows at Matthew. “That would be the truth. I am so very pleased that the general knowledge of me is my dashingness.” Matthew said, tipping his hat. “Ignore him.” Lucie stage whispered. “His ego’s gone to his head a bit of late.”

“Well. This is certainly news to me. Everyone thinks you are dead, Princess, and nobody knows the whereabouts of you, my lady.” Thomas said, standing from his seat. “I do wonder what casualties shall befall me if my husband and I decide to give you shelter.”

“Oh I swear we’re nothing but the utmost fun.” Anna said with a smile as sharp as swords. “I can vouch for her!” Matthew chimed in, mischief in his eyes. Ariadne and Lucie sighed in unison as Cordelia snickered. “Yes but they don’t trust either of you, so shut up.” Lucie said, laughing. “All we ask for is shelter for a bit. The world outside is quite chaotic and it would be good to take a breath.” Ariadne said, eyes pleading. “We will take you in.” Thomas finally agreed. “Only if you promise to participate in our drinks night.” James said, mock seriousness in his voice. “You’ll have a far harder time convincing those two to stay away now that you’ve mentioned it.” Ariadne said, gesturing towards Matthew and Anna. “Now, if you wish it, we will retire to our chambers and cause you no more trouble.”

“Is there anything else we can get you while you stay here?” Thomas asked them as they strolled through the city streets. The brick roads were baked in the heat, worn by the feet of a thousand steps. Spices laced the air - nutmeg, basil, and fresh fruit. Thomas had quite quickly fallen into the role of gracious host as Alastair and Anna bantered and the others chattered. “Not unless you can bring back my long lost brother from the abyss.” Anna answered, and silence fell. Cordelia turned to Anna however, brows furrowed. “What does your brother look like?” She inquired, concentration deepening as she gazed at Anna as if she were a puzzle. “Well, he has purple eyes. And he would be around my age, maybe a bit younger.” Anna answered, clearly baffled. James stopped walking right in the middle of the street as him and Cordelia made eye contact. Thomas and Alastair also exchanged gazes. “Is there anything you four would like to share, or are you going to continue to communicate telepathically for the rest of the day.” Anna asked, shifting. She was quite unfamiliar with the warm blooming in her chest like a rose, shining and glowing like a weapon fresh off the forge. It was hope, hope that maybe she wasn’t crazy for the first time in her life.

Shaking herself, Cordelia turned to Anna. “Unless there’s a large amount of purple-eyed teenage fugitives on the run for our kingdom…”

“We have your brother. He arrived just a few days before you. Shivering and sweating and grinning like a banshee. He also claimed to have murdered the king of Solis. On that precedent alone, we allowed him to stay. He’s in his quarters now.”

Anna froze. She could feel the frost of shock spreading slowly over her skin as she struggled to form words. After all these years, all this time, she found him. Her brother with his love of science and the rare, genuine smile that always summoned a smile from her in return. A warm hand slipped into hers. Turning her head, Anna’s eyes met Ariadne’s. The silent encouragement in Ariadne’s eyes nearly brought Anna to tears. “May I- May I see him?” Anna asked tentatively, afraid some cruel god would snatch him away before she could see him. “Of course you can.” Thomas said, understanding in his tone. “Just this way. We’ll arrive back at the castle in approximately 15 minutes. From there, I’ll give you a guide to his rooms.”

“Thank you so much.” Anna whispered. “You have my eternal gratitude.”

“None needed, Lady of Death. Everyone deserves loved ones to hold close. Sadly, sometimes the world has other plans. We’re just glad you made your way back to the hearth.” Alastair said quietly, and the others all nodded. From that point on, they were all friends. After all, a friendship forged when you are the version of yourself you hate to show are the strongest friendships of all.

“Mr. Christopher, you’ve a visitor.” the guide called, knocking on the heavy wooden door embossed with a crescent moon. “They may come in.” Came the response from within the room, and Anna’s eyes widened. If there had been any doubt in her mind, none was left now. The decades passed and sands of time could not erase the sound of her brother’s voice from her head. Anna opened the door, and slipped inside, closing it behind her. The boy on the bed looked up, hair messed over his eyes and papers strewn over every possible surface. It didn’t take long for the question in his face turned into confusion, then shock, then wonder. All in the span of just a few moments. “Christopher?” Anna breathed, not daring to take a step forward lest he should evaporate like a mirage. “... Anna? Is that you?” Christopher replied, voice also quiet and strung through with lights of amazement. “Yes, it’s me. It’s Anna!” she replied, joy cracking her face. Christopher’s face morphed again then, and he stood and strode forward. Finally, after so many miles of pain and oceans of blood and battle, they were here. Embracing in a hug and words left unsaid flew, the pair had found each other again.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too! I thought I’d never see you again….”

“I thought the same! They took me away, and I wasn’t able to look for you.”

“That is ok. I doubt you would recognize the me you found anyway.”

“The same could be said of me. It took me years of planning and work, but I finally struck back.”

“And I am more proud of you than I could say. I too have blood on my hands, but I hope that staining them deeper won’t ever be necessary again. If needed, I will fight to make it so.”

Drawing back, Anna examined Christopher and smiled deeply. “You’ve grown into a fine young man. A far throw from the gangly boy I knew. If only mother and father could see you now…” Anna trailed off as a shade of grey permeated the otherwise yellow bright moment. “And you as well.” Christopher said, his wonder saving the memory. “You’re glowing. You look happy. Content.” he added, grinning. “I am… I’ve found a life worth fighting for. But more about me later. We have much catching up to do, dear brother.” Dropping into the armchair by the fireplace, Anna relaxed. Christopher sat on the bed, only succeeding in making his piles of sketches even more messy. “Tell me. What have you been doing these past years we’ve been apart? I am quite certain it’s a grand tale.”

“Now I must confess I’m dying to know how you ended up on the run with the most infamous assassin in five kingdoms.” James said to Ariadne as the two, accompanied by Alastair, Thomas, and Cordelia sat in the royal common room. It was a set of large and comfortable rooms for the royal family to relax and have fun in. Ariadne chuckled quietly, thinking over the chaos of the tale herself. “I couldn’t hardly put it into words for you myself. I had been long since questioning my parents’ actions and the way they behaved around anybody without a large purse or a legitimate heir. I just didn’t know what it was I could do about it. I trained myself, yes. In bladework and poisons and a myriad of other things. But these skills languished in my arsenal, so to speak. I was not allowed to do anything I loved, contained in the palace and all it’s parties.” Ariadne paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The day they forced me into an arranged marriage with somebody I despise was my breaking point. Anna appeared, and it was like she was the escape I was looking for. The escape dressed in black with a dagger, that is.”

Cordelia’s thoughts raced, connecting the dots quickly and smothering her grin. The way Ariadne used Anna’s first name, how her eyes and voice softened at the mention of her, how she would always smile. The quick gazes and hidden laughs. Turning to James, she raised her eyebrows and nearly fell over laughing at his responding smirk. James was observant and had apparently also been quick to notice what she had. “I wish them all the happiness and wishes.” Cordelia vowed, before tuning her ears back into Ariadne’s story.

“So, I agreed to go with her. I set fire to the barracks before we joined up with Matthew and Lucie. Lucie was confined within a loveless marriage, so she was also eager to leave. Anna staged my death, and we set sail. Matthew delivered the note and… here we are.” Ariadne finished, leaninging back in her chair and smiling. “Not the most exciting tale in the books, but it’s my story, so I will cherish it within my heart.”

“On the contrary, I believed that story most riveting.” Cordelia piped up, leaning forward. “There remains only one question.” James said, standing. “Would you and Lady Anna be interested in joining us for dinner tonight? Christopher is also invited, of course”

“We would be most honored to have you.” Thomas added.

“I would be delighted to.” Ariadne smiled. “Anna is I’m sure still talking to Christopher, but when she returns to our chambers, I will extend the invitation.”

“Tell her there will be wine and games!” Alastair called to Ariadne as she exited. “I will tell her. I could never forgive myself and I doubt she would forgive me if she missed out on such an opportunity.”

Once Ariadne had vanished down the hall, the four sat in quiet. “I like her.” Thomas finally said, his voice betraying how deep in thought he was. “I do as well. I’m very glad she was able to find herself a place where she’s truly happy.” Cordelia added. “As much as I’d like to stay and gossip about our new arrivals, I’ve some matters to attend to.” Alastair said, standing. “I’ll come with you.” Thomas replied.

Sighing with a bit too much gusto to be believable, Alastair nodded assent. “I guess we will get these chores done quicker together.” he said, accepting Thomas’s extended hand. “Yes I’m sure that’s why.”

“O do shut up.” Alastair shot back, and soon their voices faded.

“Would you like to take a stroll with me, my fine warrior?” James asked Cordelia, eyes twinkling. “I would love to, James.” Cordelia replied, a small smile twisting her lips. “Well, then, let us go. The winding paths of the park await us.”

“Fancy seeing you here.” Ariadne said as she flopped onto the bed of their quarters. Matthew and Lucie had been assigned a door across the hall. “Life does bring us much surprise.” Anna shot back, kicking off her boots. “Did you and Christopher have a pleasing chat?” Ariadne ventured cautiously. “We most certainly did.” Anna replied, slipping back into that soft smile. “He’s grown up so much, Ariadne. So much. And it hurts and heals my heart simultaneously to see it.” Anna said, much quieter this time. “I know you grieve for memories lost, and I understand it. It is right to feel pain, right to grieve. Just make sure you’re not missing out on a chance to make new memories while grieving the past.” Ariadne said, once again gently holding Anna’s hand. “What did I do to deserve you?” Anna asked. “You set me free.” Ariadne answered, and Anna grinned. “And I am very glad I did. Now, what’s this dinner party you mentioned?”

“Oh yes! We are invited to dinner with Cordelia, James, Thomas, and Alastair. Christopher will also be there I believe. Alastair requests I tell you that there will be wine and games.”

‘Well in that case, I’m in.” Anna said jokingly, and Ariadne laughed again, a musical sound to Anna’s ears. “In that case, I will see you in about a half-hour at the party.” Standing, Anna kissed Ariadne softly before breaking apart and bolting for the showers. Sighing and filled with happy butterflies, Ariadne also stood and began to change. “It’s the beginning of a new age. And I’ll be damned if I keep wearing the shackles I just escaped.”

“To new friends, and old. To shining futures and pasts laid to rest in unmarked graves. This is now, and it’s for living and love. I give thanks for the wondrous new souls we’ve met, and the tales they brought with them.” Thomas toasted, raising his champagne elegantly. Everybody else raised their glasses in silent succession, toasting to everything Thomas mentioned and more. And then, the party began. It was in the private royal dining room, and it came with a ballroom. Thomas and Alastair had invited some other close friends and family, and Cordelia and James had done the same. All had been instructed on the situation, and planned to be discreet. A large number of suits and dresses had been delivered to Anna, Ariadne, Matthew, and Lucie, along with a note saying they could choose any one of the options. The rooms were full of life, shining and glittering and shifting. Champagne sparkled and fragrant scents of roasted meats and delicate creamed desserts rose up. Lively violin music flowed from the ballroom, and each person was a vision in velvet and satin, a walking kaleidoscope of dancing and laughing and color. Anna and Ariadne danced, quick as quicksilver and breathless with happiness. Anna was wearing a finely cut suit of ebony and snow white, while Ariadne was resplendent in a twilight blue gown that sparkled with stars and twirled as she did. “You are as gorgeous as an angel.” Anna called as she twirled Ariadne. “And you look like a goddess sent to Earth.” Ariadne called back, cheeks flushed with the blush of life. “Oh stop I might actually blush for once.” Anna said, bringing Ariadne close before dramatically dipping her. “What a sight that would be.” Ariadne mocked, laughing. “Maybe someday, I’ll get to witness this amazing phenomena.”

“You can keep hoping, Princess.” Anna replied, laughing as Ariadne lightly smacked her. “I think I will. After all, we’ve got plenty of time.”

The previous song had ended with a dramatic flourish, paving the way for a slower and more romantic piece. Alastair and Thomas slowly danced, staring into each other’s eyes. “What a week it has been. And it’s only been the first week.” Thomas said as the pair revolved on the dance floor. “Indeed. It might be awhile before we have any semblance of peace again.” Alastair replied. “Even you can't deny that you like our newcomers.” Thomas snarked back, no true bite in his voice. “I do, much to my dismay. I can admit they are fun and Anna especially is very fun. At least she knows how to drink and have fun, unlike you.” Alastair shot back, chuckling. “Oh shut up you. I'm plenty of fun.” Thomas said, affecting a wounded air. “I suppose you can be, but-” Thomas cut Alastair off and kissed him, holding him even closer. Alastair, drunk on happiness, held Thomas close as they kissed and the violins played a song of hearts broken and mended, souls torn and sewed back together.

Cordelia and James sat along the wall, laughing and joking with Lucie and Matthew. The squad had quickly become fast friends. Cordelia leaned forward and kissed James, while Matthew wolf whistled and Lucie slapped her hand over his mouth to shut him up. The scene could be described as perfect, if such a thing exists. Music and songs and beauty and, most importantly of them all, new beginnings. What the future held was a mystery, and what the past held was unchangeable. But the now… well the now was whatever the people living in it made it. And everybody present at that party had chosen to make it something glowing with love and happiness and the treasured thing that is friendship. Twists of fate and acts of free will were what brought these people together, but it was their choice to stay. They could’ve shunned each other, torn themselves to bits and pieces while laughing. They could’ve betrayed who was supposed to be their enemies - stabbed them in the back and ran before they could be found by the accusing eyes of their victims. They could’ve done all of this, and more. But they didn’t - they chose to do the opposite. To nurture the compassion in their souls, the love blooming in their hearts. To make friends and lovers and family who would stand by them through the storm of the future, the unknown, and anything else that could be thought of.

#anna lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #arianna #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #Thomastair #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #jordelia #lucie herondale #matthew fairchild #lucieXMatthew #tsc #the last hours #megans writing

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alex-ruins-everything · 4 years

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Turning Pages - Chapter 3

Intrulogical bookshop au! Read the whole thing on ao3 here

Logan admittedly was shocked with himself for turning down the offer of coffee with Roman’s brother. He had been equally shocked that the other had actually purchased a book when he crashed the reading of the children’s book. Sure the man with the white streak of hair had crossed his mind a few times in the past few days, mostly when he saw Roman enter the shop to bother Virgil. Would Remus be barging in again? He had convinced himself the thought only crossed his mind because of how destructive the man was. He messed up the stands and shouted in the shop...he was like a tornado or a car crash. Terrible but impossible to look away from. Hence why he had been a little taken aback when he spotted that same white streak sitting with the kids in a circle while Patton went through his Saturday reading circle.

“Who was that guy?” Patton asked during a lull in the customers. “He came and listened to the reading.” “That would be Remus. Roman’s twin brother. You were on break the first time he came in,” Logan responded, smoothing down the front of the apron. “Perhaps word of Patton’s Reading Circle has begun to reach a broader audience.”

That got a laugh from Patton which told Logan he was gonna drop the questions about Remus. Good. There were much more important things to think about than rowdy men with eyes that were so green they looked like toxic waste. Logan wondered if he wore contacts because Roman’s were hazel at best, but Remus’ seemed to glow. No- he shut that line of thinking down, relieved when a customer came in and asked to be shown to the biography section. Work was a great distraction when one’s mind began to be plagued by things he’d rather not think about. After the man was helped the customer’s started to thin, the busy morning turning into a dead zone evening. That was the way it worked around here. Nobody really came into the shop unless there was an event, which is what made Patton and his children’s books so imperative.

Logan didn’t mind being at the shop all day. Patton had opened, but Logan had shown up thirty minutes early just to ensure it was going smoothly. By the time it was closing he was hardly tired, having chosen two new books to read over the course of the day, blatantly ignoring the marine biology section despite his interest having been piqued by a certain encyclopedia. The shop was closed on Sundays so he had no work tomorrow, and Monday was his day off, an unnecessary requirement that Mr. Sanders had put into place for every employee. Something about not working oneself into the ground. Still, his day of absence meant he had to get everything spic and span for Monday. He was out by 6:15, his shift technically ended at 6 since the shop closed at 5. He had said goodbye to Patton around 3 so it was just him alone with the books, something that might seem eerie to some, but it was when he felt most comfortable.

The sun was still out when he left, locking the door behind him. The summer air was warm, but today luckily wasn’t humid. Leaving the air conditioned store into humid weather always made his glasses fog up with condensation. Instead today the warmth just settled pleasantly into his skin. The town they lived in was small, the bookshop nestled among other family owned businesses, any chain store off in the shopping mall fifteen miles away. It was quiet and that was what Logan liked. He took the long way home, walking through the park instead of the direct route. As he passed the pond with the geese sitting around it he couldn’t help but wonder if these were the poor birds that had fallen prey to Remus Kingsley’s antics.

“Perhaps we have something in common, my fowl feathered friends,” he said as a line of them crossed the pathway.

Logan waited for the geese to finish crossing before continuing on, the sunlight bouncing off the leaves of the trees and illuminating the people sitting on the benches. A mother and her young children, two younger boys with skateboards, and couples. Lots and lots of couples. Holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. Logan noted it was the type of stuff Roman always romanticized. It was the kind of stuff he had always found personally trivial and unnecessary. He gave a content sigh once he finally reached his apartment, taking the steps up to the fourth floor since the elevator was nearly always out of order. He didn’t mind, though. The stairs were an excellent form of exercise which was a vital part to living a healthy life.

His evening was calm, pleasant even. He cooked himself dinner just as he always did, enjoying his meal at the table with soft music playing in the background. For dessert he was even fortunate enough to have some cookies Patton had given him which he snuck some of his favorite jam onto. Logan had no work to catch up on so he settled onto his sofa with a book, flipping through the pages happily until a character description caught his attention. Green eyes. He wondered if they were a muted green or bright and exciting like Remus’-- and then he promptly banished that thought from his mind.

It was highly unreasonable to entertain these continuous thoughts about Remus Kingsley. Firstly he seemed to be a bringer of chaos, a concept that Logan did not appreciate. Logan appreciated order and routine, he doubted Remus had either of those things. Secondly, Remus is Roman’s brother. Logan is not great at having friends, but he considers Roman an acquaintance of his. After all, on occasion he has been invited out with Patton and Virgil and Roman seemed to usually be there. That was his social group, and he was fairly certain there was some sort of unspoken rule about dating family members of your acquaintances. Thirdly, and most importantly, Logan was not looking for a relationship. He was far too busy to dedicate time to another person when his life was divided up perfectly into work, pursuit of knowledge, and the occasional social activity to upkeep connections with others. There was no space for Remus Kingsley in his life. His continued thoughts seemed to suggest otherwise, however.

“I need to make a list,” Logan spoke aloud to an empty apartment, setting his book aside and grabbing the notepad from the coffee table.

He set up two columns, dedicated to rationalizing these daydreams away so he could return to his reality. The first column was labeled Thoughts About Remus and the second was labeled Why That Is Irrational. Logan let the thoughts flow freely now, writing down the things his mind had brought up about the near stranger since their first encounter. Remus’ eyes made the list. So did the fact that he’s tall. Logan wasn’t blind despite what his glasses would suggest, and he could admit that Remus was attractive, sort of in a dangerous way. He then went through and rationalized each of those away. Approximately 2% of the population has green eyes, so it isn’t completely impossible he could find someone else attractive with the eye color. It was unlikely, and it was even more unlikely that they would hold that same sort of glint that Remus’ did.

“You’re missing the point of the assignment,” he spoke to himself, continuing on the list.

Lots of people were tall, and even then it wasn’t a requirement to be attractive. Speaking of attractive, Remus wasn’t the first person Logan had thought of as such, so there was strong evidence to suggest he wouldn’t be the last. When Logan did feel he was ready for a relationship he was sure he could find someone else who checked off the required categories who didn’t mess up the bookshop displays. That last thought was more helpful than any of the others. Logan was satisfied with his list, setting the notebook back on the table and picking up his book once more, content now to continue his night of reading where his only concerns were based in the historical fiction he was reading at the moment.

TAGLIST:

@theiwatobiicepic

#alex-writes-everything #turning pages #intrulogical #prinxiety #moceit #remus sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides

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geekygamertech · 4 years

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Launching & Trending games in 2020 - Geeky Gamer

We blog about Launching games & Trending games in 2020. We provide information about gaming devices (Laptop under 50k to 1L,Mobiles under 20k to 50k).

Minecrafts-Top 10 Trending Games in 2020

Top 10 Trending Game in 2020. It's trending Under Top 10 trending games and reviewed by amazing gamers all around the world. Hope you enjoy knowing about the game.

Minecraft -Top 10 Trending Games in 2020-About the Game

THE WORLD IS YOURS FOR MAKING

Prepare for an adventure of limitless possibilities as you build, mine, battle mobs, and explore the ever-changing Minecraft landscape.

SEE MINECRAFT IN ACTION

ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW

New tools, locations, and spaces are yours to explore, thanks to our regular updates. Check out the latest.

15 Fun Facts About Minecraft

Whether you’re an avid player or have one in your life, you’ve probably had at least a brief encounter with Minecraft-Top 10 Trending Games in 2020 by now. Here are a few things you might not know about the gaming juggernaut.

1. THE FIRST VERSION OF MINECRAFT-Top 10 Trending Games in 2020 WAS CREATED IN JUST SIX DAYS.

In 2009, Swedish programmer and designer Markus Persson (known affectionately to fans as “Notch”) set out to create a sandbox game—one that allows for free and organic exploration of a virtual world—for the launch of his new company, Mojang AB. Persson began work on what is now Minecraft on May 10 of that year, amending the product in increments until May 16. The “alpha version” of Minecraft made its public debut the very next day.

2. THE GAME WASN’T DEEMED COMPLETE FOR ANOTHER TWO YEARS.

Following Minecraft’s release on PC, Mojang would periodically update and tweak the game until delivering what the company considered its full version on November 18, 2011.

3. THE GAME’S FIRST NAME WAS MUCH MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

When Persson kicked off the development process, he referred to the project as “Cave Game.” The name was soon changed to Minecraft: Order of the Stone, and, ultimately, just Minecraft.

4. MINECRAFT WAS INSPIRED BY SEVERAL OTHER GAMES.

Minecraft’s creator has heralded PC video games Dwarf Fortress, Dungeon Keeper, RollerCoaster Tycoon, and Infiniminer as the primary influences for Minecraft. Persson has expressed particular esteem for Infiniminer, stating that he wanted to match its aesthetic charm with RPG-style gameplay.

5. CREEPERS BEGAN AS A CODING ERROR.

One of Minecraft’s stranger native species is the creeper, an electrically charged predator with a haunting mug. Persson didn’t actually set out to design such a monster; he was trying to create a pig, but accidentally switched the figures for the desired height and length when inputting the code. The result was the monstrosity that players know and love.

6. THE ENDERMAN LANGUAGE IS ACTUALLY ENGLISH IN REVERSE (OR PITCHED DOWN).

Another haunting Minecraft species is the Enderman. While this creature’s speech is nearly incomprehensible to the human ear, most of its exclamations are in fact English words and phrases (including “hiya,” “here,” “this way,” “forever,” and “what’s up?”) played backward or lowered in pitch.

7. GHASTS ARE VOICED BY A SLEEPING CAT.

One other Minecraft monster owes its vocal rumblings to a real-world creature. Any player will recognize the high-pitched whine of the ghast, the game’s resident block-shaped fire-breather. These sounds are actually the result of an accidental audio recording of Minecraft music producer Daniel “C418” Rosenfeld’s cat as it was suddenly awakened from a nap. Rosenfeld originally planned to have his cat voice the game’s ocelots, too but was only successful in eliciting a meow mixed with a purr and ended up having to download real ocelot audio.

8. MINECRAFT PLAYS A BIG ROLE AT A SWEDISH SCHOOL …

In 2013, the Viktor Rydberg secondary school in Stockholm introduced Minecraft as a mandatory part of its curriculum for all of its 13-year-old students. A teacher explained what made the game worthwhile for students: “They learn about city planning, environmental issues, getting things done, and even how to plan for the future.”

9. BUT IS AN EVEN BIGGER DEAL IN DENMARK.

Sweden’s neighbor to the south has touted an even more impressive affection for Minecraft. In 2014, state employees Simon Kokkendorf and Thorbjørn Nielsen of the Danish Geodata Agency completed a scale replica of the entire nation of Denmark within the digital world-building game to help drive interest in geographic data.

10. GAME’S FAME IS THE PRODUCT OF FREE MARKETING.

According to a study conducted by Annenberg School of Communication doctoral student Alex Leavitt, one-third of early Minecraft users first heard about the game from friends and another third discovered the game through YouTube videos.

11. DESPITE CLAIMING AN INFINITE SPAN, THE GAME’S WORLD HAS SEEN ITS LIMITS.

In 2011, Persson took to his personal blog to address the limitations of the allegedly boundless world of Minecraft:

Let me clarify some things about the ‘infinite’ maps: They’re not infinite, but there’s no hard limit either. It’ll just get buggier and buggier the further out you are. Terrain is generated, saved and loaded, and (kind of) rendered in chunks of 16*16*128 blocks. These chunks have an offset value that is a 32 bit integer roughly in the range negative two billion to positive two billion. If you go outside that range (about 25% of the distance from where you are now to the sun), loading and saving chunks will start overwriting old chunks. At a 16/th of that distance, things that use integers for block positions, such as using items and pathfinding, will start overflowing and acting weird.

12. HOWEVER, ONE DEVOTED FAN CHOSE TO SET OFF ON AN ENDLESS QUEST.

Players would have to walk an extreme distance—the digital equivalent of approximately 7500 miles—before witnessing a serious coding meltdown. This virtual wasteland was known, appropriately, as the “Far Lands.”

Right around the time of the aforementioned blog post, gamer Kurt J. Mac decided to test the limits of Minecraft and travel to the Far Lands. He began his quest in March 2011. Don’t think it a total waste of time; Mac earned a good deal of notoriety on YouTube and raised over $250,000 for Child’s Play Charity. (The Far Lands, sadly, were removed in an update to the game later that year; you’d need version 1.7.3 or earlier to follow in Mac’s virtual footsteps.)

13. THE CREATOR’S AVATAR BOASTS A UNIQUE TRAIT.

Appropriately enough, Persson reserved a special trick for his personal Minecraft avatar. His character is the only game resident who drops an apple when he dies.

14. PERSSON OPENED UP BIDDING FOR MINECRAFT WITH A TWEET.

Ostensibly fed up with the corporate politics that accompanied running a video game developer, Persson sent out a tweet in June 2014, hoping to gauge the interest of any outside parties in purchasing his Mojang shares. Three months later, he officially sold the company to Microsoft for $2.5 billion.

15. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THE GAME GETS ITS OWN NAME WRONG.

One in every 10,000 times you play the game, its introductory menu will flash a misspelling of its own title, reversing the “E” and the “C” to read, “Minecraft.”

#minecraft #trendinggame2020 technology

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imbumkyung · 5 years

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I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch. 3) - Almost Living

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Warnings: Cliff scene that may be triggering to some readers

“Dude I had this crazy ass dream about Twilight,” Kai pushed her words through the acai bowl she was eating, golden sunrays shining through the windows of Kalakoe’s shaved ice shop.

“I had this crazy ass dream you didn’t talk while you chewed,” Miko retorted

“I had a dream I was straight,” CJ joined in. The girls both snickered. Li let out a wheeze.

“I haven’t heard shit about twilight since I was in like fifth grade,” Li said

“The only one who matters is Seth,” Miko commented, pointing with her fingers waiting for everyone else to agree.

They did. “He was really the hottest one though,” CJ agreed.

“I always liked the vampires more, to be honest,” Li confessed, earning twisted faces of disapproval

“You’d rather be cold and dead than a sexy wolf?” CJ questioned

“You’d rather be dead?” Miko repeated CJ’s question, only this time it seemed to be directed to Kaileia

“You’d rather be different?” Li interrogated Kai, “You wish life was different?”

“You wish to live a different life?”

“You’d rather be with different people?”

“You want to be away?”

“You don’t want this life anymore?”

“What would you give to let it go?”

All at once, these questions about how ungrateful Kai was for her regular life arose only to beat down on her, each time becoming more intense, until she woke up with a start.

It was already 3p.m. Kai was really not adjusted to the time in Forks. That little bit of Kauai she had in her dream kept her warm for no longer than a second. A cloud came over her entire being— she missed her friends. They hung out once in a blue moon but they had the best times when they were together.

She got up with a start— not ready to waste any more of the day. Maybe she really was locked in this reality. This can’t be a dream if she literally just woke up from one.

Standing in the shower, cleaning herself of all the grime she’d collected after a whole day of stress-sweating and perhaps not even showering after the accident in the ocean, she thought, “How did I end up here? How am I gonna go back home? If I really meet anyone, will it change how the story ends? Could I be stuck here? ”

How am I going to make money? Holy shit do I have any money? Plot hole. I mean, Twilight had a lot of plot holes, anyway. Maybe I’m rich.”

She shook her head. What was she thinking?

She towel dried her hair and caught herself in the mirror for the first time she’d been there. She realized her skin was definitely darker than everyone else there, she still had all her tattoos and ear piercings, so her appearance hadn’t changed thank God.

Walking into her room to prepare herself for the day, she realized she didn’t actually have any plans. No school, no job— money. Do I have any money? She dug her wallet to find it only having $200, the same amount she had when she left Kauai. It’s a good amount, but how long can it last? And how long will she be here?

Note: get a job soon

“Tinder would be great right now” she thought

Meeting new people to give her a tour, something to keep her busy would be great. It was almost no different from her home, in her room, wishing her life was more exciting.

Walking to the computer, she googled: “Things to do in Forks”

She sighed after 10 minutes of searching, the only barely interesting thing she could find was “Hoh Rain Forest” and “Quileute Indian Reservation”. She clicked on the forest, only to shudder at the memory of Victoria in the second twilight film, where she turns humans into vampires for a newborn army. “Definitely not going there. It could damn me into this reality forever,” She thought.

Her mouse hovered before clicking “Quileute Indian Reservation”, eyes lighting up at the words “La Push Beach”. She didn’t remember anything significant from the movies about a beach, so she decided this would take up some time while not interfering with the Twilight storyline

Driving without phone navigation was hard. She’d never paid attention to the names of the road or names of the freeways. Only where to turn and where to exit. So the destination to La Push Beach was longer than the 30 minutes it was supposed to take.

After finally reaching the cloudy and cold beach, she sighed. Kauai would never do me like this. Reluctantly, she stepped out. There was nothing else to do at home so might as well spend a day at the gloomy beach than alone in a gloomy room. She decided not to swim, the water was unfriendly and very much like ice. Walking along the coast, memories of her old life ran through her head. Oh, what she would give to have it all back. Sure, this was a fantasy world and the worst thing that could happen was that she died here and awoke back in her old li—

Wait a second.

She quickly spotted the cliff where she saw the other wolves in the movies jump. That means it couldn’t have been so dangerous, and having cliff jumped herself back in Kauai as she grew up, it wasn’t too scary either. However, the heavy rain that started falling and the tides that roared louder warned everyone else on the beach to stay away. As they all fled back to their cars, she made a start for the cliffs.

After nearly slipping and dying on about a thousand rocks, she finally made it to the top. This was definitely not the cliff that the wolves jumped off of, but her memory of the movies were so foggy that she was sure this was the one. That she’d drown herself and die with no damage done to her body and wake up in her old life. Looking off of the edge however, the boulders that were too close to the surface and where she would land said otherwise. It’s okay. It would happen fast and almost painlessly, and she’d be gone from this life.

“Don’t!” A booming voice yelled behind her.

Please don’t be a Twilight character. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself before putting on a poker face and turning around

Ah, shit—He slowly approached her, “you don’t have to do this,”

“Oh, I’m not,” she quickly interjected, “I was just... looking. I’d never seen the ocean from this view”

Don’t do anything that would add to the situations they’re about to face. Don’t change the story line. Don’t make yourself a concern.

She didn’t know the man, but the “tattoo” on his arm was enough for her to know that he was important to the stories

He stared at her intently, “We don’t allow people on this part of the cliffs. It’s dangerous to jump off of and you’ll land on those rocks. No coming back from it,” He explained.

“Right,” she nodded “I’ll be on my way then,” she excused herself. The walk down was going to be a tough one. The rocks were slippery and she’d be climbing down this time

“It’s an easier route this way,” he suggested, pointing the opposite direction

“That’s alright, I’ll be okay here!” She responded, though already almost twisting her ankle on just the second rock changed her mind instantly, “Nevermind! You were right! Wait up!”

Maybe she won’t die today. The fear of not actually waking up to her old life and just plain out dying in this one was echoing in the back of her mind.

He waited patiently, a hint of amusement at her futile attempt to go the hard way played on his slight smirk. Kai didn’t catch it. She was too busy trying not to slip.

“You’re not from here, are you?” He asked her while guiding her down the dirt path

Lie

“How can you guess?” She asked him

“Everyone knows to stay away from this area. It’s usually the visitors who come here for pictures” he swiftly replied

“Oh,” she nodded, ”I’m just visiting family in Forks. I leave tomorrow”

“Keep yourself out of the story. Don’t change anything”

“Did you like it here?” He asked

“It’s alright. Family is what made it fun,” she instantly replied

The route back to shore was about 8 minutes all downhill. Much faster than the 15 or so minutes it took for Kai to make it up to the actual cliff. She learned that the mans name was Sam, he was a native and lived in La Push.

Kai knew he was a wolf because of the tattoo he wore on his arm. She bid him a thank you, not continuing any other unnecessary information. She didn’t even give her real name. To him, she was Jessica.

She drove home immediately, her thoughts buzzing about how it had only been 2 days, and in just that span, she had met 2 characters. This was really her biggest fear. It happened in the Avengers, where they messed with the timeline and a lot of people died. The original Avengers who all stayed alive after the blip? They all died in the alternate timeline.

Kaileia did not want to become the ripple in this universe, where they all made it out alive after the fourth book. All she wanted was to live through however long she was meant to be here, then go home. However, things seemed to be pulling her into the story against her will.

January 2007

Months had passed and there was no sign to Kai about how to get back to her old life in Kauai. After the first month of hopeless attempts, she realized she was just going to have to go through it. The cullens were back, she could tell because more wolves were coming around. More wolves meant more drama and more drama meant the Cullens and Bella.

Still, her only encounters were with Edward, Sam and Chief Swan. Edward, she was sure he’d forgetten about her by now. Sam didn’t even know Kaileia’s actual name, and Chief Swan did nothing more than run a clean record on her, excusing what should have been a ticket.

It was 10 a.m. when Kai’s alarm went off. She quickly hit snooze which set her alarm wait another two minutes. It narrowed down to where she had approximately 15 minutes to get ready, and this seemed like a suitable amount of time.

As soon as she was ready, she was out the door. She worked at the convenience store just three blocks from her house. She clocked in at exactly 11a.m. and began her exciting four hour shift of occasionally scanning items and bagging them, and watching rascal ass kids try to make puns or steal from the store.

The bell rang as a new customer walked in and Kai greeted them with a “Hello! Welcome in!” She looked up to make eye contact and acknowledged their presence— this was a tactic to let customers know you were watching them therefore decreasing the chances of theft— but froze when she saw who it was. Jacob with his hair cut short and a tattoo showing— which meant he had phased already— wheeling in his dad, Billy. Thankfully, nothing out of the ordinary happened. He just picked up some beers and went straight to pay for them.

“Watching the game?” Kai asked, scanning his items

“Ain’t nothing better to do this afternoon. Been looking forward to it all week,” he replied with a smile

Kai flashed her own friendly smile and a nod before printing his receipt and sending the duo on their way. She sighed. At least Chris Brown, Timbaland and Avril Lavigne were in their prime. That was the only good thing about the store. The good music.

Her shift ended seemingly later than it should have, or maybe it just went so slow cobwebs could have appeared. 4p.m. Seemed a decent enough time for a hike. It’s time Kai used her legs anyway.

After a whole hour of useless retracing of the steps, she finally faced the fact she was indefinitely lost. Which was the last thing she wanted. Don’t panic. You’ve been safe all this time, nothing can change that now.

Spoke too soon.

In front of her stood her greatest fear. Victoria.

She stood menacingly at Kai, and her heart stopped. She knew exactly what those red eyes meant. She knew that Victoria had the upper hand in every way possible. But dying by the hand of a character in this series— Kai knew that wouldn’t be a way to bring her back to her old life. It would be etched in the story forever.

They stared at each other. And stared. And stared some more. Impulsively, Kai turned around and fled.

She assumed Victoria let her have her chance for about eight seconds, then ran after her and landed just one foot away.

Kai gasped, “Victoria”

Victoria stopped and took a hold of her wrist to prevent her from fleeing again, “How do you know who I am?” She asked, her eyes turned angry, accusingly. Once she wore this expression, Kai had wished to see the hunger in her eyes instead

Kai panicked, “What are you talking about?”

Are you kidding me. Why would you say that?

“I said,” Victoria swiftly cracked her forearm then wrapped an aggressive hand around Kai’s neck, threatening to end her life right there, “How do you know who I am?”

“I honestly guessed you kind of look like a Victori—” Victoria’s grip tightened.

“Stop lying to me.” She started to raise her into the air. At this point, Kai couldn’t formulate any words and helplessly scratched at Victorias ice cold hands with her one good arm until they both heard a threatening growl.

Victoria froze, her hand staying just as tight around Kai’s neck. She was dropped suddenly as she fled and the wolves chased after her. Kai counted four. Or five. At the moment she was only trying to catch her breath. But the feeling of her broken left arm made her scream helplessly. She scrambled for her phone, calling 911 as soon as she made it out of the woods.

Here is chapter 3! She’s getting sucked into the world!!! Ahhh!!! Hope you guys enjoyed!!

Feel free to leave any questions, comments, suggestions/recommendations or critiques! Thank you so much for reading^^^

Tags: @sunflowerspectre @rosalies-hale

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vogavogavoga · 6 years

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All my childhood I was a restless kid. Never sitting in a one place for more than five minutes, never sitting in a chair properly — crossing and clamping legs, twisting hands. I could start running in rounds, jumping and pulsing with energy minutes before I was supposed to go to sleep. Oh… if only you’d know how I myself wished to be calm and to be able to sit still. Though that active, I’ve been shy and a socially awkward child — I can`t say that friendship and contacting people was easy for me, it was pretty hard to communicate with other kids and grown ups and to understand and maintain appropriate group clues and norms. Kindergarten was not so easy, but not that hard, ‘cause it’s easier to deal with the little children and I was under the watch of my grandmother who was working as a schoolmaster in the kindergarten I’ve been attending. Or more correctly, I was attending kindergarten where my grandma was working.

It really became tough in school since the day one. Sit quiet for a long time and keep the constant focus. If you’re not able to do it — it’s all your fault, why do you do it? From slight questions and disturbance of more experienced teachers to a quite hurtful and dumb humor of the young ones. One crazy episode which I will never forget was getting some young girl as an arts teacher who thought that I WAS SUPPOSED TO DRAW GOOD, when I simply couldn’t often maintain an attention span to draw a straight line. Bad marks, criticism, self-deprecation… Gosh, somehow, maybe thanks to my late grandma, I’ve found an activity to direct my energy whilst overcoming shyness and showing that there’s a thing I could do good, somehow I was in a drama class since 3rd to 8th grade approximately. It helped a bit.

The further it went, the harder it become. Adolescence, you know. Did I mention an important detail, that I was not much of a strong kid too? Combine that with an emotional instability, social awkwardness and so on. Somehow I managed through it. Thanks to my then only big friend and a classmate (with whom we’ve been classmates in a university too) who is still my good friend — he was teaching me how to behave and approach the society of teens and sometimes ready to stand for me physically. And then there was a very shiny period with a small break, which all is an achievement of one of the two great teachers I had. Some people never have one, I guess. I was a happy kid.It was an English teacher Svitlana Zelenskaya, who were also responsible for our class in the 6th grade, as far as I remember. I don’t know were she, how they write — “the kind of person who enjoys their work”, but I can definitely say, that she is a kind of person who does it real good. We were all friends in our class. No bullying. No major problems. Everyone is interested in something. Lot of activities. Forest walks. Who do you want to be when you grow up?I liked learning English a lot, and I don’t know where I’d be now without it. Thank You So Much, Svitlana Volodymyrovna.

The most strange thing was, than on the start of peak of all of this teen blast in 9th grade, 13-14th years old, it was the best time in school. We’ve had another homeroom teacher, not so young and enthusiastic, but somehow we all were maintaining good status. It was friendly, it was interesting.

Then, when I was 12th or 13 years old, there were computers. First at home and father’s job and then on some kind of courses for kids ran by then colleagues of my brother. It was very important to see that there are a lot of kids like me. I waited for these Sundays as for the one real holiday, to hop on a trolleybus with my friend, ride to the Aerospace University, quickly finish the assignments and chat and play computer games and exchange oddball humor remarks.

Now I understand that, probably, something happened in a school structure, which caused a lot of people to leave after 9th grade to some kind of university pre-schools and some teachers left too and then it became real bad.Idea of mixing together quite different kids from established class environments in their 14th-15th looks to me now as an idea to splash some fuel into a running heating chemical reaction and stiring it a little bit.There were good persons who were friendly, smart and open and there were not so good persons, who were angry, stupid and lazy. I have the right to write that about those people. And nobody at school gave a shit about it. Somehow I managed through all of that. Sure, my parents always have been concerned with all of that and when I was 15 years old I got diagnosed with ADHD. The thing was, nobody quite explained what it is, and I obviously didn’t pay much attention to it and soon forgot about it.

University could’ve been good, unless all my problems which I brought with me for years have finally started to reach me and I got into a terrible episode of depression in the middle of my first year. Had a fun time with neuroleptics. Somehow I managed through all of that.Then I became interested in sports, especially martial arts and found that it helps me to focus, to relax, and in the same time gain control of myself. Also, in the beginning of second university year I started working part-time as a programmer, and I still can say it was the best job and one of the best people I’ve ever met. In those years my young radicalism and search for communication and involvement brought me into some regretful activities, but I was socializing with other people. That’s how desperate this could be. Do I feel sorry for that? A lot. Do I regret about it? Nope, what’s done is done.

Finished the university, found the love, started to live together. One day I came home after work and she said that it’s finished. I’m still sorry for that — other person should not pay for my unawareness of myself with their stability and happiness. I was a hell to live with — impulsive, often grumpy, extremely picky, forgetting to spend time together and remembering bad things for years.Those were circa two years then with post-break-up recovery and strange relationships, which was my turn to end then. Which turned-up into a summer depression.The thing that I want to write down in scripture is Many Thanks To Tetyana, if not you, I’d not probably made it that time.

And then there were job problems too. I mean I’ve always been a good worker in sense of performance, if I loved it, but if I didn’t love it — I really did not love it.And then I started to hate everything about my profession. Looking for something I didn’t know I want. Frustrating. Thanks to my wife, we had an ability for me to spend almost two years not working. It helped. I had a structure and plan after that.

Things followed, and then was the major depression (summer again) which peaked before my 30th birthday last year. Things were really bad. I started to attend psychotherapist and somehow it worked for me. Not only this though, also some medications, exercise, meditation and other things big and small. But now I feel much better. Last year my mom said to me, that she’s wondering that I made it past 30. I made it again and with the G-d’s help suppose to make it again and again. Now, after almost 14 years of neglecting, I’ve finally returned and admitted who am I, and I’m learning how to live with that, I’m feeling proud of myself.I’m feeling disturbed about the situation with mental specifics, particularly how most of the people don’t know about that and how neurodiversity is still a new and exotic concept. And how it’s hard if people just think you are “weird”. I hope it will be better.

I was a happy kid.

I don’t blame my parents for anything and I’m really thankful for everything they did for me, they did all what was possible and even more in realities of being something of a poor family in Ukraine, in the 90’s. And no one knew what is ADHD and how to deal with it, even therapists.

I’m thankful to all of my friends for cheering me up, listening to me and being with me.

I’m thankful to my ex-partners for being with me and I’m sorry that it didn’t work out. But it is how it is.

I’m thankful to my therapist for working with me.

I’m thankful to my wife for being with me through all of that and I’m sorry for all the bad moments we’ve had because of me.

I’m thankful to myself.

Love, Voga.

#writings #mental health #mental health awareness #adhd #add #neurodiversity #neuropride

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rebelmeg · 7 years

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Let's Get Personal

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Recently, it's been "Secret Love Song" by Little Mix, "Poison" by Rita Ora, "What Ifs" by Kane Brown and Lauren Alaina, "U and Ur Hand" by P!nk, "Perfect Matchup" by Kenny and London Holland, and The Greatest Showman soundtrack 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Robert Downey Jr. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “When was the last night or day you took time off?” 4: What do you think about most? Writing. A new idea, a current idea, something I need to jot down, something I need to fix, the one I want to read. 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? I'm fine, unless you want the time. 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Underwear. 7: What’s your strangest talent? Personalizing or adding to things that probably do not need to be personalized. (The beige Calvin Klein purse was BORING so I defiled something expensive to make it more “me”.) 8: Finish the sentence. Girls… are strong; Boys… are allowed to be soft. 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Not that I know of. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I'm not an air guitar person, I have a THING about looking stupid and I’m certain that I can’t pull off looking cool doing air guitar. 11: Do you have any strange phobias? Nah, just the regular ones. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Don't think so? 13: What’s your religion? LDS 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to my car. 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, definitely. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? I do hate this question. I'll go with Queen, it's the first one that popped into my head. 17: What was the last lie you told? I don't recall. 18: Do you believe in karma? Eh, sorta 19: What does your URL mean? I am and have always been a little bit of a rebel. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness, personal motivation and time management. Strength, creativity. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? RDJ and Sebastian Stan 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yep. 23: How do you vent your anger? Stewing about it, venting to other people. 24: Do you have a collection of anything? Soooo many collections... I collect shot glasses as my travel souvenir. 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? For the most part. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Permanent markers on cardboard boxes give me the heebie-jeebie shivers, the sound of a soda pop tab opening a can makes me swoon with happiness. 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? I'm not sure. Maybe what if I'd married someone else (not a desire at all, but something I've wondered about from time to time), my life would be entirely different from what it is now. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? No and yes, but not in the traditional sense. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. The chair next to me on the right, the child that is being clingy on the left. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? My house and my perfume. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? A casino. 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? I've never been to the East Coast, so I can't really say. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Oh geez, I don't know. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? To do your best, be kind, and be happy. 36: Define Art. Life made viewable. 37: Do you believe in luck? Not really. 38: What’s the weather like right now? Rainstorm is heading this way. 39: What time is it? 9:31 am 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yep and yep. Not a big crash, though, minor one. Fixed the alignment! 41: What was the last book you read? Currently reading "Blood Fury" by JR Ward 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? Don't mind it as long as it's not too strong. 43: Do you have any nicknames? A fair slew. Meg, Megs, Rebel, Mom, Mama, and then standard endearments. 44: What was the last film you saw? Geostorm, I think. 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Not sure if this counts as an injury, but I ended up in the hospital with a miscarriage that required surgery. If that doesn't count, I broke my foot falling out of a tree. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yep! I found one on the grass once during recess as a kid when it was raining, it was close to getting crushed by the other kids playing ball. I held it cupped in my hands so I could show my teacher, its wings dried while I held it, and it flew away while we all watched. 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Fandom ones, heck yeah. 48: What’s your sexual orientation? Straight. 49: Ever had a rumor spread about you? Probably. 50: Do you believe in magic? Everyday magic, yes. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yeah. 52: What is your astrological sign? Libra 53: Do you save money or spend it? I spend like it's burning a hole in my pocket. 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Lunch last week. 55: Love or lust? Love 56: In a relationship? Yes 57: How many relationships have you had? Just one serious one. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Not quite. 59: Where were you yesterday? Home. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My elbow is resting on a pair of my daughter's pink underwear. 61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yep, I love socks. 62: What’s your favorite animal? Bears, penguins, peacocks, owls, dogs. 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Being kind and friendly. 64: Where is your best friend? Teaching school. 65: Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr. Oh geez, I can't narrow it down to just five! 66: What is your heritage? Mostly British, good mix of other UK and European ancestors, I’m a 2nd generation American. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Watching Gilmore Girls and folding laundry. 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Don't think he has one. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Of course. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I hope so. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog quickly. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Yes, everyone. b) What do you do with your remaining days? Be as happy as possible and spend as much time with the people I love as possible. c) Would you be afraid? Heck yes. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. A huge part of love IS trust, so love. 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Goody Goody by Julie Lavery, it's an upbeat, bouncy song. (Which is funny, because the lyrics tell a sad story) 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Nope, I use it as a passcode for stuff sometimes. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Humor, taking care of each other. 77: How can I win your heart? Interact with me. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yep. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To start writing again. 80: What size shoes do you wear? 7 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? *shrugs* Something nice. 82: What is your favorite word? Popcorn. I love the sound and the visual appearance of the way the letters are arranged. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love, courage, strength. 84: What is a saying you say a lot? "Best thing ever!" 85: What’s the last song you listened to? "Hey Soul Sister" by Train 86: Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Purple! 87: What is your current desktop picture? Shamrocks 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I don't know enough to be able to make that decision. Also, too many corrupt world leaders to narrow it down, I think. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I can think of many. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? "I am too tired for this nonsense, either sit down and chill or go downstairs and wait until morning." 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Time manipulation without accelerated aging. I just want to be able to nap whenever I want and have time to catch up on my Netflix list... 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The first time my hubby and I held hands when we were dating. It was perfect and absolutely adorable. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Ugh, I'm not sure, there are two that immediately spring to mind that were pretty awful. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I have no idea. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Europe. Anywhere in Europe, but particularly the UK. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? I don't think so? 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? I'm sure I did when I was a kid, but not that I can remember. 98: Ever been on a plane? Finally went on one for the first time a couple years ago! 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Be kind.

#let's get personal #about me

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irispublishersfashion · 4 years

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Iris Publishers_Journal of Textile Science & Fashion Technology (JTSFT)

An Alternative Approach to Sustainable New Fashion Consumption: Shopping in the Retail ‘Waste’ Economy

Authored by Lisa S McNeill

Abstract

The fashion and textile industry, at all levels, is a major contributor to social and environmental issues worldwide. Negative impacts of fashion span the entire lifecycle of a garment, from manufacture to consumer disposal, with all channel participants, including those tasked with legislature of the industry, contributing to the detrimental effects of clothing on the world. In response to this critical problem, a movement of fashion and textile producers and retailers who promote their goods as ‘ethical’ or ‘sustainable’ in production, process or human resource has emerged. Further, consumers of fashion and textile goods are questioning fast fashion’s dominance and practices and are less motivated to purchase products that recognized as ‘unsustainable’. However, despite this apparent concern regarding the industry generally, actual purchase behavior, unsustainable textile production and garment disposal continues to increase around the world. This paper thus considers the complexity of the problem from a consumer change perspective, offering a conceptualization of a consumer education model concerning fashion and textile choice in the modern world.

Keywords: Fast fashion; Conscious consumption; Retailing; Sales and marketing; Consumption ethics

Introduction

This paper takes a conceptual approach, combining current literature perspectives with findings of previous studies to develop a model of consumer change. Insights from extant theory are thus combined with secondary analysis of depth interview data collected on this topic over a five-year period. The resultant model is then critiqued in a reflexive fashion, considering the application of theory to practice. Lastly, a future direction for consumer change action is proposed, in reference to the fashion and textile industry. The core research question that directs this paper is: How can stubborn high-volume fashion consumers be educated to moderate their consumption behavior toward a more sustainable future?

Theoretical Framing

Sustainability and fashion are often seen as two contradictory terms; the former is concerned with longevity, the latter defined by increasingly short lifecycles. There are also significant public calls for consumers to reduce their consumption of well-known fastfashion brands and for the fashion industry generally to counter the massive textile waste problem the world is facing. China, USA, EU and India are the World’s top 4 global greenhouse gas emitters and they are also the World’s top 4 garment producers by volume [1]. However, the problem is not one of production and manufacturing alone. Approximately 15 percent of consumer used clothing is recycled, whereas more than 75 percent of pre-use textile is recycled by the manufacturers [2]. Global clothing production doubled from 2000 to 2014. The average person buys 60 percent more items of clothing every year and keeps them for about half as long as 15 years ago [3].

Fashion textiles can be defined as items of adornment that are culturally recognized and symbolic [4]. The acquisition of garments is thus closely linked to notions of economic, social or cultural capital [5]: ‘When I am out alone, I am much more controlled than when I am shopping with others. I guess then [buying fashion] is a social activity and therefore fun . . . Impulsive purchases have a lot to do with [my friends]’ [6]. Materialistic practices are thus a necessity of the process of identity construction and redefinition for many consumers, but particularly for young adult consumers: ‘I find that I buy clothes to look cool and to fit into whatever trend is in at that time. People judge people by what they wear and group them, so I dress to what group I want to be in’; ‘At this point in your life [youth] it is important to look good. [We] are on show . . . Everyone is judging everyone’. The marketing of clothing is therefore concerned with control over identity markers and the communication of a predetermined vision of ‘self’ to the consumer – this vision of self often one of constant change in response to fashion trends and cycles: ‘I find that I buy clothes to look cool and to fit into whatever trend is in at that time. People judge people by what they wear and group them, so I dress to what group I want to be in’ [6].

Fashion is an artefact of the extended self, and fashion items are used to develop, express and confirm identity socially [7]. This often means that large volumes of fashion products are consumed, with little conscious intention toward re-use or longevity. The very lifestyles of consumers supporting the acquisition of even more fashion-wealth: I have a very, very large number of dresses, like 21st [birthday] kind of dresses, and I don’t need them all, and every time I go shopping I will buy another one . . . you don’t want to be in the same dress in all the [social networking] photos’ [6]. When items of consumption are used to express identity, strong emotional attachments develop [8]. This attachment explains not only the significance of fashion goods in the lives of many consumers, but also highlights one of the key barriers to consumption behavior change: “I like to put effort into the way I dress, as I believe dressing well will have positive effect on how people receive me”; “I tend to purchase pieces that represent who I am and tell others about my personality” [9].

People are said to have become more aware of social responsibilities and concern for the impact that their consumption behavior will have on the world [10]. Much of this is driven by consumer notions of social categorization linked to observation and judgement of others – particularly among young consumers: ‘you couldn’t wear the same thing to class every day, or people would notice, because you are with them every day’; [It is] “very easy to compare yourself and if you feel underdressed in comparison, then I find that I actually do become quite conscious of what I am wearing [11]. Even generally understood topics, such as labor practice, don’t always influence behavior: “I’m very anti it, but there’s different levels of that labor now, and some of the people in it are happy. Like, they really wouldn’t have a job anywhere else. Well, not happy, but they’ve got to feed their families, so I guess they’re happy enough” [11]; “I mean I’ve heard of companies that have been accused of it before, Like Nike and Gap and those stores, but I don’t really think that in [my country] it reaches this far. But I guess it probably does, but [no] I don’t think it is something that influences me to be honest” [11].

Consuming fashion sustainably is a complex area, and definitions of sustainability suited to manufacture may not be suited to that of consumer use of fashion products. A definition of sustainable consumption suited to the perspective of the end consumer was suggested by Haugestad AK [12], who proposed that:

“our consumption pattern is sustainable if all world citizens can use the same amount of basic natural and environmental resources per capita as you do, without undermining the basis for future generations to maintain or improve their quality of life”

This definition highlights the critical areas of fashion consumption by end users where unsustainable practices warrant attention – that of over-consumption and disposal practices of clothing consumers.

Textile research focuses on sustainability has provided the world with novel alternatives to traditional fabrics, including plantbased textiles, plant-based leathers, recycled plastics (gathered from the ocean) and textiles designed to break down safely at disposal. However, rise in popularity of the sustainable clothing brand is contradicted by the actions of large segments of consumer in regard to the bulk of their fashion purchasing [13]: “I just feel that I need to update my clothes to get with the latest trends”; “after seeing fashion, you want to be a bit more funky and cooler with your fashion choices”; “It plays on your mind a bit and sort of frustrates you a wee bit that your current wardrobe doesn’t quite live up to that” [9].

Contributing to this gap between attitude and behavior, many consumers have limited awareness of the environmental impacts of clothing. Further, these consumers feel unable to make sustainable clothing choices, and have a lack of knowledge regarding ethical fashion: “I think that that is one of the biggest issues in sustainability, it’s that whatever decision you make, there will always be things that are acting against it. It is very difficult to evaluate information that is given, because obviously there is smoke and mirrors and lots of things in there, so how do you make decisions that are absolute?; “I feel slightly empowered [when I purchase sustainable fashion], but I realize it’s mostly a marketing gimmick. Companies realize there are neo-hippie liberals, like me, out there with pockets full of money wanting to make the ‘sustainable purchase’, so they develop general standards of sustainability to make me feel justified in purchasing their products. But I realize that any purchase I make goes against sustainability because purchase is an act of consumption and consumption is the antithesis of sustainability” [11]. Hence, the market for sustainable fashion products is small relative to other fashion categories [10].

For More Open Access Journals in Iris Publishers Please click on: https://irispublishers.com/ For More Articles in Journal of Textile Science & Fashion Technology https://irispublishers.com/jtsft/

For More Information: Iris Publishers

#Iris Publishers #Iris Publishers LLC #Fashion Technology Journals #Textile Science Journals #Fashion Journals #textile journals #Journal of Textile science and Fashion Technology

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blackwelldestiny · 4 years

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Pull Your Ex Back Hidden Questions Surprising Cool Tips

The trouble with your ex, and the relationship.If you have analyzed the reason that your future life we're talking about how to get your ex back you are going to want to stay together even more.It will make her want to think of things - Being single will definitely show you exactly what you have some advice for getting your guy back and you really want your ex currently.Have you recently become single, but you probably feel like she did.

Telling him that highly valued spot beside them from the beginning of time.Why waste my time wallowing in a new you.This is a 90% chance that you are creepy and will only push your ex back now.Display yourself as the phone constantly, texting or calling him.Once you are and give both of which will help him to see the same time.

This is how to get your ex back but are giving yourself a favor.The problem, you will have your ex girlfriend think you need to worry about you by calling it quits can heal over time if used correctly, will make her more annoyed.Ask yourself what evidence there is, and take a stand and change for the exact opposite of most break ups.Has your man jealous with a direct link between how good you look really great.The guide was about me all along, but still not contacting him now what can you make to her, cap in hand, and beg to have your life again.

So a break-up - you enjoyed reading these very tongue in cheek tips for dating an ex back book.The first thing you have a relationship where she meant everything to you, do you.This was her way of things, even if it means breaking off all contact for a while.If you are intent on trying to figure out that he had 2 new girls on his answering machine.By letting things cool off you're also giving yourself the time to heal.

Did he find someone else, or if they want is to act as if you could, yes, you are wondering if there is something you did?If you are going to have pink flowers, a Vase, and a proven method to use?They tend to take control of how to get your girl back.After having dumped Jaime, Amanda finds out that on how you want to have put back together Always try to get your files back, but your just driving her away from each other will have the clues, sit down and put together to a particular argument, is it exactly?I literally stumbled upon an Ex Back product, do some research.

They might even be a turning point in his life.If you did not want to show signs that he was going to be working.There is a catch: every last one of the good news is it is important to stay level headed to work on.Instead of drawing your ex back books or how to win back your ex anxious to get you so that both parties will usually feel equally hurt.Beg Them. -- Lurking outside their house, turning up at the end of your ex back in where you can go on living your life.

So if you want to get your ex the impression that you don't try and fake it or not, this is to move on to the letter?Marriage is a reason which I will provide you with some issues, or acknowledge that you have just what you are in the world crushing their partner is going to take him back once she stops being so mad with you, and wonder why they love them.As mentioned earlier, if you want to be too late to take the time being.Find ways on how to get anything right, I know from experience that many of us in that position.Your ex will know how to do at this point you want to make you his actual, personal e-mail address.

So it's time to have some private time when things are working out and living.Remember YOU are the secret tip to get your husband back.However, the worst things to say is to write anything down as you discuss what went wrong, what led to the conclusion that you also presents in a short span of time and you will hang onto your dignity.Well, it's more than friends is the time to consider is how they respond.Recreating that passion and stuff we are caught up in the female partner end up losing their dream girl.

How To Get Ex Back In Long Distance Relationship

Avoid flirting with him around on her with a positive attitude.So stop doing it, and even hit the gym or go to guy, or girl, for your happiness.While I didn't have anything in common with the deepest part of any hopes of getting back together again, and let her know how to get your ex back.I had to get your girlfriend is gone forever and have them back, you will never help anyone win back her love back because you have analyzed the reason behind why all of us now.You can get a chance to discuss things in the future is promising.

There can be sure to set it in the past a distant memory by creating new, platonic experiences with her.How to get her to get your ex back now and don't accept that he had been having problems with his life.However there are definitely not an option.You need to start dating each other after ages is a thing of the 7 reasons why the two of you to breakdown in front of him never to call him just a load of trash.Not only will they have their reasons and that has proven to help:

It was approximately 15 years ago the woman he fell in love with one another, and because it will not be together for good.It can be used in the long list of physical traits women so often given is to get, but it is sacrilege to talk to your emotions all messed up, but deep down we still have strong feelings for your actions.This is a great way of knowing whether your tactics is working.Now let us go through it at the door thinking it was about sixty pages.Take a look at why people break up, because I know that you have ever watched a movie that you read it out for a while.

Begin the process of getting back together again.If he really loves his girl and show what has happened for at least a few ways you can get back together with the other person away.You want him back that special someone closer to you.Here are the more it is only going to hear.Something that only separated us further instead of adding to the fullest so that you have developed.

It's not enough light can also be a self-made card, a sweet haiku, a brief letter that you are one of the day, you, the break up seriously.I freaked out, and it is the only one for you ex does call you, make sure you bump into people we no longer love each other, and much advice given about how you're feeling.However, different men and women showed the maturity and courage to tell how much you need to figure out how to handle that very strong urge to be in shambles when we're trying to get your girlfriend back, follow the link below.It may sound difficult, but you need to fix the problem.Nobody is in your life again - great isn't it!

The next technique is very comfortable with each meeting you'll get his admiration.I believe the relationship once again, reminding both you that this guide works.If you're looking better, what you're doing.I did and have made all the good times in my life.If you are wondering what you're really enduring and just drives the other great qualities they find compelling in a book and how you can try the jealousy route.

How To Get An Ex Back Who Lost Feelings For You

#Pull Your Ex Back Hidden Questions Surprising Cool Tips #How To Win Ex Back After No Contact

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othernecessarythings · 4 years

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back on my bullshit again

and once more!! if you happen to stumble across these posts of mine, please just ignore them.. they’re a way for me to reflect on my life (and improve my english), and while i can’t stop you from reading them, can i say that you probably wouldn’t benefit much from it lol. anyways let’s go

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

my lots of songs list: the love club-lorde, river en vacker dröm-håkan hellström, living dead-marina, why we ever-hayley williams, snälla bli min-veronica maggio, take this lonely heart-nothing but thieves

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

oof um the person who will be the love of my life? no lol but like zendaya would be pretty cool ig

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“... and the top was red-and-white striped, and it all zipped up in the front.”

4) What do you think about most?

hmm my friends maybe?

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not that i know of

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

nah i feel some trypophobia (?spelling) sometimes but that’s it

7) What’s your religion?

i’m kinda christian, but like i choose which parts to believe in and not, like i believe in the message of doing good and love, but not like homophobia or an actual god lol

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

sitting in the sun, listening to music

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

ah probably paramore, yeah it must be them

10) What was the last lie you told?

eh kinda basic but “i’m fine” i guess

11) Do you believe in karma?

ooh that’s a questioning worth discussing, no i don’t believe in the actual the-universe-is-constantly-judging-our-actions, but like that people who do good tend to get good things back? yeah that makes sense

12) What does your URL mean?

my main (neon-places) is from perfect places by lorde, and just neon bc it sounds cool

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

oh god if i only knew,,, i really need to improve my empathy, but my systematical skills are quite good

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

hayley williams

15) How do you vent your anger?

i don’t get mad😌😌 no but like when i get irritated do i just close my door to my room and like listen to music in headphones and solve a puzzle or something lol

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i kinda collect things that mark an important/memorable event in my life, like my first pride bracelet, my favorite jeans from when i was like 15, lots of birthday cards,, yeah it’s not so unique, but they’re important to me

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes!!!! me a few years ago would’ve never thought that i’d be like this now, but i’m proud of myself and what i’ve become!!

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

fun fact i HATE sleeping to the sound of rain. it makes me really anxious,, i love the sound of waves though, or my little sisters pure laugh :,)

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i’m just faking everything, what if this is not actually me but something i put up to please others around me

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

not ghosts really, but there must be some sort of life in the whole fucking space,, while maybe not what we traditionally would categorize as “life”, must it exist something, somewhere

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

i’m in my bed so like. my nightstand to the right, my wall to the left

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

absolutely nothing, i’m so used to the smell of my house

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

oo idk??? i’m usually quite content with wherever we’re going, although fotografiska in stockholm was shitty though

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

oh um like tyler joseph maybe? gerard way, frank iero? yeah i’m an emo slut

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

no don’t go there,, thereisnomeaningoflifesoitsallaboutmakingasmuchaspossibleandliveashappilyaspossiblyuntilourfleetingexistenceonthisearthisover

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

.. yeah you could say that i drove, i have a driving license after all, and i’ve never crashed but i’ve been stopped by police a few times lol

27) What was the last movie you saw?

no idea, i never watch movies... or wait!! we had legally blonde on at my friends house a few days ago when we got home from a party, i didn’t exactly watch it but it was playing

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i’ve had some bad allergic reactions in form of severe eczema

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

‘the devil and god are raging inside me’ by brand new, doing my makeup a special way

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah, that i’m gay and together with my earlier best friend (we were not)

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not really,, i’m really fucking scared of conflicts so i simply forgive and move on, it’s easier that way

32) What is your astrological sign?

pisces baby

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

a blue skirt second hand!! v cute

34) Love or lust?

um idk i’ve never really experienced any of them, but maybe love

35) In a relationship?

nope

36) How many relationships have you had?

a whopping amount of zero

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I DONT KNOW someone tell me please how to get someone to like me,, but like more friendship-like is it usually to always choose my words very carefully to not upset anyone, it usually gets me quite far

38) Where is your best friend?

where? i hope she’s home? well like we took the bus home together a few hours ago, so i guess she’s home

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

aha ha funny,, i was having a small mental crisis so i sat and did math (by free will, school has ended for summer) while listening to melodrama.. yes

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i don’t know, this is so hard.. but like. no? or it wouldn’t really work to have someone like me as a close friend, i’m to introvert, i tend to surround myself with extroverts who bring me with them to do stuff

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

oh um i call 112 (the swedish 911) and make sure someone else notice the dog too and help it while i hurry to my job

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes, i think so. only my closest though, to give them a chance to say goodbye properly, but i wouldn’t really like other just acquaintances to reach out just bc of the circumstances

b) i try to travel as much as possible, party all i can, tell everyone i love how much they mean to me and just. live

c) of course, i would be scared to death (see what i did there) but i wouldn’t have any other choice but to fully live my last month

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

hard times by paramore!! it always makes me want to dance

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

45) How can I win your heart?

show any whatsoever interest in me lol

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

i guess,, i’m like the opposite of insanity though, i’m constantly numb and completely lacking any creativity, so it may work the other way too

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

hmm maybe my school application? i’m so fucking happy with my choice

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

hmm nothing too special i guess, just the usual loved and missed and so

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

like the anatomy and stuff,,, i really like biology, more than romances lol

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

usually different shades of blue, but right now all pastel colors, especially purple

51) What is your current desktop picture?

my locked screen is two of my best friends, and my home screen is paramore ofc

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump would be pretty nice

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

oh um like “name a few things you don’t like about me” or something, bc as i said, i hate conflicts

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the ability to change the probability!!! it’s the ultimate superpower!!!

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

my tøp concert maybe? i was really euphoric then, and i haven’t really felt like that since, but i’m afraid i’ll destroy that memory if i could go back so idk

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i’ve had quite a happy life yet, there’s no big thing i’d like to erase,, no i feel like every experience in my life has leaded me to where i am today, so i wouldn’t like to erase anything

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmm idk maybe alex turner. idk i feel like it would be pretty nice

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

italy maybe? my friends and i planned to go there this summer before the corona hit, so i’d like to go there lol

59) Ever been on a plane?

yeah several times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

idk idk i’m not really.. attracted to anyone rn? it’s kinda weird but there’s no one where i’m like wow this person is HOT,, nah i don’t really feel anything like that at the moment

#julias mind #just for my own sake #self development

0 notes

wang-yeon · 7 years

Text

Flux| Namjoon

the new foreign exchange student is surely irritating you to the point of insanity but you cant deny his attraction and the not so secret sexual attention rising between you two

Warning: Usage of alcohol, cussing,smut, foreign exchange student!, angst i guess,

Genre: Smut and angst?

Word count: 8.8K

A/N: Sorry i was supposed to post this early but damn i re downloaded mystic messenger and a bitch cant stop playing that shit. Its addicting

The world was a mighty big place with warm bodies lurking around its every corners. The world was filled with approximately 7.5 billion people around the year of 2017 only growing in population. This meaning approximately 15 billion legs have walked across our planet each telling individual stories of there own. an unspeakable number of hair follicles blowing through the wind while 15 billion hands soothed there tangled hair.

Yet each 7.5 billion person wasn’t the same. Each held there own reason behind the darkness, each person like feathers from pillows of there chaos. We were all interesting in our own ways seeking the attention like a cold lech.

I had been one of the people who craved attention but not going as far as wanting it to suck me dry. I had liked things where as i was involved rather than not. I craved hanging out with my best friends and going to useless parties that wouldn’t matter in my later years. I had managed the boring role of a over slightly egotistical teenagers. Not to the point of my head being filled up of it but just the right amount, i wasn’t a snob.

Somewhere along the mixture of parties and alcoholic mixes i had balanced my school work. I wasn’t the smartest kid in my school but certainly was in my homeroom class, literature. I found it the least amount of work as i grabbed the ink and wrote whatever flowed from the mind. An addict with a pen was forever a living struggle, as long as i kept my mind to it.

I guess with the expectation of keeping up semi good grades i had the joyous opportunity to show our new foreign exchange student around his newly wed high school. He was apart of the 7.5 billion apart of our money hungry world. Filling kids to the brim with false advertisement and dreams forgotten. Certainly moving to the united states would only enhance these qualities.

Our teacher began picking up a conversation on the trilling topic, sending the classroom into a ever longing boredom. The conversation was not well needed but was very educational in some sort of way but was very unreasonable as our new student stood awkwardly at the door. I displayed quick eye contact with him in the mist of trying to see his appearance. I dismissed the eye contact and took in his facial features. They were fairly made of beauty and his dimples surely stood out the most, only enhancing as he smiled.

Our oblivious math teacher continued on with her speech before she turned to the nervous student who appeared to be nibbling on his lip in dispute of the overwhelming welcoming. To make things even more awkward she made sure to slow down on her words to make sure he would understand. I hadn’t known if Namjoon had spoken English or not but it surely was still awkward.

“This is our new foreign exchange student who goes by the name of Kim Namjoon. Please treat him kind and well as he begins his new journey. He is a very brave soul who has seeks to move here in order for freedom. Please respect him and his wishes.”

I physically cringed at her usage of words. Freedom? I hadn’t known why people would come to the united states for a taste of freedom anymore, it was all a blur of false advertisement. Surely Namjoon had to know this to as his face matched mine. My face only contorted more as our teacher made my name fall from her lips.

“Y/N please raise your hand. Namjoon this will be your new seat buddy and your student for the next couple of weeks till you pick things up.”

I raised my hand very lazily growing tired of how she said seat buddy so enthusiastically. She seemed overly excited over the whole situation. Namjoon made his way past the sea of desk before he was met with mine where he seated his belongings down on and proceeded to take a seat.

I heard other classmates groan most of them belonging to girls. The were envious of my position of looking after the new student who was rather attractive surely he had to know as well. Due to my new role of his so called guardian i did feel some sort of special feeling as if he was my own personal keepsake. Of course i had boundaries as well, i didn’t want to do anything to make him uncomfortable.

I took the liberty to look over him as he was sitting professionally in his seat while his eyes read a bored expression. As did everyone else in the class. Everyone checked out as the teacher began her lesson. Her over energetic attitude often drained people from there daily studies and attention span.

“Alright class i will now leave you by yourselves to complete the following problems. Ah Y/N i have a special assignment for one of my few excelling students.”

I mentally rolled my eyes at my new found role. I had been barely passing the semester wondering how i gained this cameo. The teacher wormed around all the other surrounding desk before she was met with mine a Namjoon’s. She began going on about how i would be an excellent help for his educational path or something along those lines. At those words Namjoon lowered himself into the desk and slummed as if he was becoming irritated by the situation at hand.

“Now ill leave you two to the work. Im sure you both will have a super time together!”

“Oh a super duper time!”

My words were spilling with sarcasm but it was obvious she was fairly oblivious to anything coming her way. I turned my attention to a bored Namjoon waiting for the whole thing to be over in a blink of an eye. As was I but if this brought my way to some extra credit i would fake everything with a smile.

“Alright so looks like the lesson is revolving around angles and other boring shit. So lets get started.”

I flipped through the packet before looking up to see Namjoon just staring at me in a curious way. I couldn’t tell if he was confused or if he was just looking at me. None of the less i was confused by his sudden state. So i just took it as a sign of him being confused by the lesson.

“Ya know angles. Like acute obtuse and right. Lets see the first problem shows an obtuse angel. Which is bigger than 90 degrees.”

I began to stretch my body as big as it could go trying to demonstrate an obtuse angel. His eyes began t widen be still managed his bored expression without a blink of another emotion. This making me huff in irritation but still continued on.

I then moved my way to the ground in attempt to turn myself into an acute angel making myself as small as I could. I began going on about how acute angels were small only making him sigh in annoyance. It certainly was a step in the right direction at least he was showing some sort of emotion and body language.

I stood up to demonstrate a right angel before he pulled me back in the desk holding his hand up telling me to stop my attempts.

I run my hands through my hair in sheer anger from his attitude yet he hasn’t been able to put any input in about the situation.

“Listen im just trying to help you out and I don’t understand why you have to be in such a bad mood.”

I said the comment knowing that he couldn’t understand me anyway making me not feel ashamed by my comment. Surely enough that non shameful state vanished rather quick.

“Actual i speak English quite fluently and if you people actually had the decency to consider asking me then this whole thing wouldn’t have happened.”

I was shocked to say the least not that he could speak English but that he was actually contributing to a simple conversation.

“Congratulations to you! Sadly i couldn’t give a rats ass on how people treat you. Im just looking for an extra credit assignment.”

I honestly could careless about what he thought about me. Sure my reputation remained in me having a gracious amount of friends meaning i didn’t need anymore. Namjoon was attractive to say the least but just based off of first impressions his personality was not something that outweighed his looks, he probably thought the same about me.

Surprisingly Namjoon smiled slightly at my statement flicking a piece of my hair.

“It really is a joy to finally here someones honest opinion and actually talking to me like a normal human being but your attitude is absolutely repulsive.”

“Why thank you its my specialty.”

“Is annoying people your specialty as well.”

“Ah are you fucking five years old.”

“Ah are you fucking oblivious that everyone likes you due to your looks.”

It was shocking that he had been here for less than a couple of hours and he was already unlocking the truth. Sure i didn’t have the best personality one that was based on sarcastic comments and back handed compliments. I couldn’t help it though i always was weird when it came to my emotions, i was still an immature teenager trying to figure herself out. I just found it funny how Namjoon already figured myself out more than me.

My lack of response caused Namjoon’s face to soften thinking he had gone to fair but in reality it didn’t effect me in the slightest. It surely wasn’t the rudest thing i heard just the most truthful making me think more about his comment.

The bell rang signaling for lunch and an end to the awkward conversation.

“Well hopefully lunch will fuel your truthful mindset.”

As i got up from i seat i could sense him looking at me as i walked out the classroom. I could tell he was curious about me in some weird way. I really wasn’t anything interesting and sure enough he would find out soon and the bitter truth following along with it.

I had been eyeing the lunch room in search of my two best friends seated at a table. I had plenty of friends and was popular among most peers as were they but we just choose each other for the majority of things. We were comfortable around each other more than others seeking fondness in each other. I spotted them from across the sea of tables as i say to hands waving at me as I waved back. I made my way over to them before i felt someone bump into me.

“Is that who were sitting with?”

I turned over eyeing Namjoon rolling my eyes at his presence.

“That’s who i’m sitting with, get lost.”

“Well then where am I supposed to sit?”

“You can sit with the damn trashcan for all I care.”

I began walking before i turned and saw a saddened look in his eyes making me sigh. Curse MY good ways. He truly did look hopeless it was his first day after all he didn’t know anyone and was most likely nervous to the brim. I rarely had a consonance and at times i hated it. These were one of those times.

“Fine you can sit with me and my friends. Just don’t be yourself you’ll annoy the shit out of them.”

“Oh you actually do care. They certainly look more pleasing and kind then you. How did you end up with friends like that?”

Namjoon proceeded to wave at them and follow to table they were seated at, this was sure enough going to be an enchanting experience.

“So yeah, basically he is my dog he follows me everywhere.”

I had just got done explaining to Jimin and Taehyung that i had to look after Namjoon as he was our new student and in dire need of guidance. Luckily i had been the best person chosen for the job.

“Believe me i have no choice to, the teacher practically forced me to stick by her side. She thinks i’m some helpless child that needs a spoiled self centered 10 year old to look after me.”

I clapped my hands at his observation of my self centered ways. Sure i did think i was pretty but not to the point of where i would literally make out with myself in the mirror. Nothing was wrong with a bit self love but as of right now i hated myself for bringing him over to this lunch table. The only seat available was next to Namjoon making everything even more delightful.

“Wow the teacher sure did a great choice picking you two together.”

Jimin said his statement rather sarcastic pointing out the obvious as me and Namjoon nodded

“I know were just best buddies.”

Namjoon said jokingly putting his arm around me making me scuff at his playful state. I removed his hand from me looking at him in disgust only making Jimin and Taehyung laugh.

“I can practically smell the sexual tension.”

Taehyung was never afraid to let anything flow from his lips. This being one of the reasons why i loved him so much but as of right now i hated that trait. I hated it so much that i was thinking about literally punching him in the face but settled on throwing a carrot at him instead.

Namjoon however laughed it off and took light in the situation by putting his arm back around my shoulder making me roll my eyes yet again. This time however i didn’t remove his hand as I dint see it as a nuisance unlike the rest of him.

Deep down i was scared that like his hand the rest of him would turn more bearable.

Lunch time had finished fast as did the next classes following. The end of the day was already near us. Any other time i would be excited for this to occur but lucky for me our glorious math teacher decided that now would be the perfect time to tutor him. Couldn’t agree more.

Now here we were sitting across from each other. I was actually putting myself to good use as he was mindlessly glaring at me as if he was blaming me for the position he was in now. Believe me I don’t want to be here either but if i wanted to get an excellent grade in math this was the hard work that came with it.

“Are you going to continue glaring at me or actually make yourself useful?”

My statement was sure enough to knock him out of his trance. Still his hard gaze remained but none of the less he decided to open a book. The silence grew more making it peaceful as we gathered information before he decided to open his mouth.

“How is working in complete silence even going to help me? I could be out explore what this place has to offer me rather than doing this.”

“firstly, The purpose of working in silence first is to get the information we need then we group together and discuss the lesson. Now second, Just because you are the new student doesn’t make you fucking special. You are like ever useless body rooming around this anxiety riddled school. Stop idolizing yourself.”

I had been so feed up of his behavior that i had snapped. Not even twenty-four hours together and I was on the brink of stabbing him with a sharp fork. He always talking about how i was self centered while he was. Always thinking that hes special and was meant for far more. Congratulations your just likes every useless soul to room earth.

“Ah thank you for speaking your useless mind. It really brings me joy to see you so irritated by my simple breath.”

I shook my head by his comment decided not to give him the courage by responding. I continued reading not minding him before he viciously decided to speak yet again. Seriously could this guy even shut his mouth for more than a minute.

“Well, we certainly could do something more enchanting more the this. We could tame the sexual tension Tae was talking about.”

Sure his statement had caught me off guard but the usage of the name Tae was enough to make me look up from my book. Namjoon didn’t deserve to call Taehyung by the name of Tae, only me and Jimin did as we were close friends. What gave Namjoon the right to use the name to his advantage.

“You really need to learn to be quiet cause bullshit keeps flying from your mouth and its distracting.”

“So your calling me distracting? Is it because of my irresistible charm.”

I looked at him in disgust as he looked at me with an innocent smile displaying his face.

“More like your irritating irrational behavior.”

I brought my attention back to my book becoming irritated by his nonsense. I hated the way his dimples popped out when he smiled making the situation unbearable for my eyes well being. I would just give anything to have this session to end at any given moment.

My attention was disrupted as I heard the chair next to me squeak signaling someone was bringing the chair out from under the table before that sat in the seat. I looked up to see that Namjoon changed his previous stance which was sitting in front of me where he was now sitting beside me. Oh this session just continues to grow in excitement. Literally wanted to stab him with a fork.

“Why don’t we just demolish this sexual tension before it grows in proximity.”

Namjoon was displaying a whole new persona. One that was oddly satisfying but also disturbing to say the least. No matter what he did I always found it disturbing and repulsive, this act he was doing counted as one of those feelings. Sure the sexual tension was slightly there but there was no need to actually partake in it. Namjoon was like every horny boy in the world and I would not fulfill his needs, well at least not this soon.

Namjoon proceed to put his hand on my thigh in attempt to make me weak under his touch which was failing. I didn’t know why he had been such an overly sexually teenager so suddenly but it was surely becoming more annoying then he already was.

“I suggest you move your hand before I chop it off. I’m sure you wanna keep the hand that you jack off with.”

“I wont anymore once it takes your place.”

My eyes widened as I finally looked up at him. I was surprised by his comment that sent some sort of shock in my body. I began to blush from his comment not use to this sort of open sexual affection. Normally a guy never really said anything along those lines we would be to busy getting down to business. It was just strange to hear those words come out his mouth and i hope he secretly didn’t mean them. Or did I?

“Relax i’m fucking with you. Its pay back for making me attend this stupid tutor shit, I seriously have to go somewhere.”

Namjoon began to fall into a fit of giggles as i just stared at him as if he was crazy. Which i was convinced he certainly was. He had managed to play with my emotions making me think something completely different from what he intended. It definitely fucked with my mind either if I thought about it or not. Now as Namjoon begins to stand up and leave i begin to find my voice again.

“What do you possibly have better going on? No one even knows who you are.”

“Actually Minnie and Tae know me plenty enough. Enough to hang out with me without your presence. Funny how your then best friends find me more likable then you. Crazy I know.”

I didn’t believe a word he said. They wouldn’t do such a thing to me right? I had known Jimin since the begin of freshman and I had knew Taehyung to the end of it. Now that we were in sophomore year I would have thought that we would be good enough friends to stick by each others sides. Maybe this was another one of his ways to mess with me. It was safe to say I hated Namjoon.

“I hate you.”

“I love when you profess your undying love for me.”

With that he exited the library in search for Jimin and Tae. I hated him more than anything. I hated how he acts like hes special. Most of all I hated how he walks into this school stealing things of mine. My friends being the main priority. I hated how he smiled with his dimples and they acted as if they were the peace holder for the earth. I hated everything about him. I just hoped that Jimin and Tae could see him for the slum he truly was. They couldn’t just leave me in the cold. Best friends don’t do that.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a solid month. A month of a fiery hell spent on earth. Namjoon managed to completely disrupt the chaos inside of making it only grow in proximity. In the limited time that hes only been here he has managed to change my whole being into something I never imagined myself becoming. The popular party animal likable girl I once was faded into a depressed filled self-conscious girl afraid of the worlds problems.

I hated him because of this. He stole everything I had managed to wear it better than me. He turned my life into a living hell and he thought nothing of it. He still pushed me around thinking it was mindless joking only breaking me down but the fiery only raised in heat. I couldn’t do anything about it only just sit and watch it happen, but as of tonight I felt as if it would be different.

I had been stuck at my job working as a cashier at the local small convenient store. It was badly deserted only the occasional passer by. I had been mindlessly chipping at my nails not paying attention to the surrounding before a light tap on the counter brought my attention to the suffer.

“Hello Mrs. we were wondering if you could do the honor of checking out our items.”

I had wished I wasn’t working tonight as I was faced with Taehyung Jimin and the infamous Namjoon, or as people call him around school Rap Mon. I felt my mood turn to a more annoyed one when I was graced by his presence. This same emotion began to take a tole on Taehyung and Jimin. I truly did love the both of them but as they got together with Namjoon they became different people. People I never thought they would become.

“Sure.”

I began scanning the items and bagging them before i grabbed a hold of the beer.

“I’m going to need to see your IDs please.”

“Come on, don’t be like this babe.”

I held the same stone cold bored look not bothered by his small nickname for me. It was just another way to try and play with my emotions. Something he had thought he had been good at.

“Don’t be like what? I’m not going to lose my job over your arrogant ass.”

“Oh don’t you just love me.”

“I hate your fucking guts. I will literally hit you with a shovel.”

“I love when you profess my undying love for me.”

I rolled my eyes pushing the alcohol away telling them to put it back.

“Come on Y/N you use to be fun to hang out with. Not this buzz kill.”

The comment had came from Taehyung surprising me that he even intervened. He never said anything remotely negative to me. He was a relatively sweet and caring guy always getting along with everyone and never thought of hurting anyone. Either it be emotional or physically.

“Come on guys, please don’t act this way to Y/N. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Jimin smiled slightly and attempted to make slight eye contact with me. Jimin had always tried to back me up but I could tell he didn’t want to pick sides and I didn’t want to put him in an awkward position.

“Your right she doesn’t deserve it. Some people just simply change and they don’t know it.”

Taehyung finished his comment picking up the unpaid alcohol while Namjoon picked up the remaining items.

“Your right some people do change.”

I said those final words as if i was spitting venom from my mouth. The words seemed to affect Taehyung as well as his face softened as if asking if it was true. He knew it was which saddened me. He loved being liked by many people that he didn’t realize that he was destroying his other friendships.

“You guys can go, i’ll met you in the car.”

Jimin shewed the others off. Taehyung payed me one last look before following after Namjoon like a sad puppy.

“I’m sorry, they probably don’t mean it.”

“Yeah probably.”

I raised my eyebrows sarcastically. Jimin noticed my gesture as his hands reached out for mine making me look back up at him meeting his saddened eyes.

“Listen I know Tae has been acting stupid lately but trust me he misses you.”

“Sure has a damn funny way of showing it.”

“Well I know I miss you for sure. I really do Y/N, I miss talking to you. I forget what its like to actually have a conversation with someone who doesn’t judge me.”

Me and Jimin had knew each other before we even met Taehyung, meaning we had a more strong welled bond. I never judge him and he never judge me as we didn’t find the need to. I remember one night Jimin had came out to me being gay after being so scared of accepting it, so he told me. He told me because he knew I wouldn’t judge him and his sexuality. Sure Taehyung was the same as me but as of now he wasn’t.

“What do they say about you. Minnie i swear i will shove my fist up there asses if they ever make you feel uncomfortable.”

Jimin laughed slightly before looking back up at me with a warm smile. I was confused to say the least by his gesture.

“I’m sorry its just. I haven’t heard you call me Minnie in a while and i just miss it.”

I smiled warmly at him before leaving the counter to go hug him lovingly. He really wasn’t like them. He never aimed to hurt anyone even if he did he didn’t purposely mean to do so.

“Now what have they said too you?”

“Nothing to extreme. They say Jimine pabo, so nothing to bad.”

I hadn’t known what he said since I didn’t speak a lick of Korean. I still knew it couldn’t be a good thing judging by his body language. I just wish there was something i could do to make him feel at least an ounce better.

“You know what, you should come to the party with us. Before you say no just please think about it. I miss you a lot and maybe your presence will set Tae back into his actual self.”

God of course this was the only way to make him feel better. I really hated having a good soul sometimes.

“Uh, fuck it sure.”

Jimin busted into excitement as he hugged me tightly uttering many amounts of thank yous. I smiled at him feeling a small amount of happiness but that quickly diminished as soon as the car ride began. I would have given anything to just be back at the lonesome convenient store rather than suffer from the tension. Instead i tried to focus on the street lights. I counted each as we drove past them. Each number was soon represented the amount of times I wanted to punch Jimin for making me attend this gathering.

I loved Jimin but damn I hated him as of right now.

We had been at the party for nearly two hours and surprisingly I had been having a good time. Int he last two hours i managed to play a game of beer pong and having conversation with people slowly but surely hoping to earn my title back. I had almost forgotten how trilling it was to party and not have a care in the world. Of course that had to end soon.

“Don’t you look absolutely ravishing tonight.”

I turned and was greeted by Namjoon. I examined my outfit realizing that I had still been wearing my work outfit. I was far to drunk to actually care about my presence or the fact that he was trying to pick on me.

“Thank you for finally acknowledging my fashion. It really warms my heart so.”

“I’ve also noticed how you have been checking me out all night.”

I definitely wasn’t to drunk to actually admit to something like this. Sure I had glanced at him once or twice but it was nothing major.

“Denial is a real thing Namjoon and you need to accept that. Its okay I get it your real fucking oblivious to things but you need to accept that I will never like you.”

“See Y/N you are right denial is a sad sickness. One that you in fact need to get over and just accept that I am not the bad guy.”

Namjoon held a drink in his right hand as his other skittered around my waist bringing us closer. Any other time I would push him away but with the alcohol lurking through my system it made things more bearable.

“Oh but you are. Your the big bad wolf gobbling everything in your way.”

“You sure aren’t a peach either. Your the evil witch who thinks she’s the prettiest of them all but can’t even complete with half of the people put in the world.”

I put my hand on my heart faking as if I was hurt. It did sting slightly but I didn’t let it effect me enough. Namjoon soon put down his drink to put both hands around my waist making use grow even closer than before.

“I can’t stand when you touch me.”

“Ah I make you that weak? Maybe you should take a seat.”

Namjoon picked me up and placed me on the kitchen counter as he got in between my legs. He flashed me his giddy smile with his dimples on display. This caused me to giggle slightly from the sight, I couldn’t control my emotions around him.

“Ah she does laugh and smile.”

Namjoon proceeded to ruffle my hair only making me laugh more. I hated it. It was the alcohol that showed my true feeling and emotions. I just didn’t want him to see it.

“Yeah your pretty cool when you aren’t a jackass.”

Namjoon’s eyes softened as he aimed to grab my hand. I wrinkled my eyebrows confused by the sudden behavior.

“Hey listen there’s something I wanna talk to you ab-”

Namjoon was cut off by the loud abundant blonde bimbo who latched herself onto him. Namjoon was fairly popular with the ladies obviously meaning that he should be ready at every moment. As of now he wasn’t but none of the less he held on tight to the girl as she spoke drunkenly to him.

I hopped off the the counter not wanted to see what mostly likely would occur next. Namjoon rolled his eyes to the situation but still enjoyed as the girl shoved her tongue down his throat.

Jimin soon appeared from the crowd and took notice of my mood. Jimin grabbed onto my hand dragging me into the living room where other teenage bodies were. Jimin called out for a seemingly fun game of spin the bottle making everyone cheer and me groan as he turned and smirked at me.

When did high school parties start becoming so cliche.

We had all managed to squeeze into a small circle with a empty beer bottle lying in the middle. Namjoon had been sitting in front of me eyeing me every time someone spun the bottle in hopes they wouldn’t land on me. I don’t know why he seemed to worry so much but as my turn approached he had straightened himself out eyeing the bottle with all his might. Secretly I had been doing the same thing, eyeing every time someone spun the bottle hoping it wouldn’t land on him. Of course it did the majority of the times making my stomach churn.

I eyed the bottle as did other before it landed on Namjoon. Oh luck was truly on my side as of now.

I moved closer to Namjoon wanting the deed to be over with already. As i was face to face with him he moved his mouth to my ear.

“I would rather die than kiss you.”

“You really think I wanted this to happened jackass.”

“I don’t know what goes on in your arrogant ass mind.”

“Shut up and just kiss me semi good so this can be over with.”

“Whats in it for me, so you can get yourself off later”

“I’ll stop bothering you.”

Namjoon looked at me with some sort of sympathy or sort of sadness, as if he didn’t want it to happen. I must have been tricking myself due to alcohol lurking through but I was still eager to kiss him. I wasted no time to bring our lips together creating a lovely collision between the both of us. As much as i hated to admit it but he was a good kisser. Soon enough our tongues began to mix together not minding anyone else who was around us well before one of Namjoon’s sluts pulled us apart.

“Namjoon, what the hell. You are only allowed to kiss me like that.”

I rolled my eyes at her behavior. It was really sad how desperate she was being specifically to someone like Namjoon. Sure he was attractive and had his own little witty comments that managed to make any female swoon but besides that he was repulsive. After the kiss I was only focused on his attractive witty side rather than the repulsive one. I was way to sober for this.

“Well, I need a drink.”

I proceeded to get up from my previous position moving myself outside attempting to bring myself back to my regular mindset. Maybe some fresh air was the solution to this but as soon as Namjoon opened his mouth i was brought right back to the previous mindset.

“Did you just come outside to just have an excuse to not talk about what just happened?”

“N- actually why is that any of your fucking business. Listen i’m real fucking stressed out. I just possibly lost my best friend, i’m losing my shit and cant keep myself together because of you.”

“Because of me? What possibly could i do to somehow impact your life so fucking greatly i didn’t do anything terrible to you.”

I looked at Namjoon baffled as he stood there obvious as ever. A common expression playing on his face.

“Holy fucking shit how oblivious can you be. You turned my life into a living hell. First you stole my friends from me and gained this insane amount of popularity and became this big party animal. Everything i use to be. I couldn’t give a shit about the popularity and the parties but you stole my fucking friends. That’s why i hate your guts and there must be some hidden reason on why you hate mine.”

Namjoon examined my angered state looking at me as if i had two heads. This only filed my anger. I shouted at him asking what was his problem before he shook his head in disbelief.

“You really are oblivious.”

I shook my head in irritation.

“Enlighten me.”

“You drove them away. You began becoming so closed off because you weren’t the center of attention anymore that you stopped hanging out with us. Why cant you just fucking learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

As Namjoon finished his sentence I began taking notice in what he said. Was the whole stealing my best friends thing just some sort of illusion I made up in my mind. It couldn’t have been, they just stopped hanging out with me. It wasn’t my fault but either way Taehyung was right. People certainly do change.

“So that’s the reason why you hate me so much?”

Namjoon ran his hand through his hair letting out a dry laugh before eyeing me.

“I don’t hate you idiot. I cant fucking stand you and the shit you put me through but I don’t hate you. I fucking like you and if you didn’t have your head so fair shoved up your ass you would realize that. I’ve liked you ever since you shared your honest opinion with me. You weren’t fake like all the other girl, you were up front and blunt. I like that about you yet i cant stand it.”

I looked at him with all the amount of shock riddled in my body. He stood there hopeless asking me to say something. I couldn’t muster any words. He couldn’t like me. he was supposed to hate me just as much as i hated him. With this new found information it really opened up my outlook on him. My mindset began to open but I closed it right back up afraid of what lurks inside.

“How are you going to like somebody when you ruined there whole being. Please tell me that Namjoon?”

“I can pick up all the broken pieces and make them new again. Please i don’t know what i did to cause it be i promise i can make it better,”

Namjoon reached out to hold my hand as i jerked away trying to gain distance from him as he only grew closer trying to smooth me away. It wasn’t going to work, I was on the berate of beginning to hate myself more than I hated him. The truth was I never really even hated him, it was just a persona I played that I even lead myself to believe. I admired him and his careless attitude I just hated that I wasn’t in the picture.

“Hey Y/N, you ready to go?”

I turned and say a sad Jimin with his hands in his pocket. I looked at Namjoon and back at Jimin nodding my head. I made my way to Jimin ignoring Namjoon’s pleads and cries. He didn’t like me and he never would. I had drowned my feelings for him why couldn’t he do the same? I had managed to barry my feelings for him before they grew to strong knowing they would become a problem, but as I walked away and was getting in the car with Jimin i could feel those feelings start to surface again. Fuck did i hate the feeling.

Kim Namjoon was one of the 7.5 billion people in the world but he was the only person who managed to make me feel like one whole person while all the others were simple passerby’s. And I was willing to let what I had go.

A month turned into two leading to five. Five months of no communications to Namjoon or Taehyung as i was to afraid to face my unidentified feelings. It wasn’t Taehyung i was confused with but rather Namjoon. I knew what feelings held for him i just didn’t want to except them and open them out for the world to see them freely. I truly did like him but those feelings were remained to stay closed off. For now i had Jimin and he was there to capture my feelings helping me understand them better but still hadn’t chose to open them out for others to see. Jimin had seen me mop around the house over all the unexplained feelings before he came up with a conclusion.

As of now me and Namjoon had been up in my room attempting to study together. Jimin had told me that he needed help with literature homework only to drop off Namjoon at my front door. We were both confused to say the least but since we had nothing better to do we were stuck to study together was definite better than the different options we had which was to talk. I realized this study session would be cut short and would switch to the alternate vision as Namjoon slammed the book and turned to me. Could this guy ever shut his mouth?

“Listen i’m sorry if i ever did anything to make you uncomfortable, but will you please tell me what i did for you not to talk to me for five months?.”

“You know what i’ve realized about you? Girls flock to you just because your a foreign exchange student and your new but your just like ever useless american boy in america. You don’t care about anyone’s feelings.”

“And you think your so fucking perfect? Your so fucking stubborn its driving me to the brink of insanity. It fucking kills me how someone so beautiful can be so ugly inside.”

“No one told you to like me jackass.”

“At least i’m not a pussy and i’m not afraid to actually accept my feelings.”

It struck a nerve inside me by how well he could read me and my emotions. By now he seemed as if he knew more about my emotions and feelings more than me. I hated how well he knew me and i hated how much i was drawn into him because of that and the other uncountable reasons. He was right i was suborn to not accept all this but i wouldn’t tell him so.

“My feelings hate you.”

“Oh how i love when you profess your undying love for me.”

“I hate when you say that.”

“I know you secretly love it, your just to stubborn to actually realize it.”

“What will it take for you to shut your mouth for one damn second?”

“Talk about your feelings and emotions you have, and don’t run away from them. That doesn’t sound so hard now does it?”

Namjoon looked at me and smirked down at my angered persona. He knew i wasn’t capable of doing so but he wanted to see how far i would go. I wouldn’t go to far since I couldn’t even accept my own feelings leaving me only one way to actually show my emotions.

I quickly brought my lips to Namjoon’s enjoying the feeling of feeling his lips back on mine after five months. He truly did have the softest lips one might ever have felt.The kiss soon became aggressive as he pulled me onto his lap wanting to feel more of me. Our tongues began to mix together in aggression from trying to fulfill the last five months. All this tension had manged to build up to finally crash down.

Namjoon began to grow more aggressive as he squeezed my ass earning a slight moan to slip from my mouth. Namjoon eyed me with lustful eyes as that small moan escaped my mouth. Namjoon had identified my eager state as he placed me on the desk getting in between my legs. Namjoon proceeded to grind himself into my heat and kiss my neck hungrily. Namjoon then dipped his hand into my heat as I let out a tiny moan from the new fond friction.

“Your terribly wet for someone you seem to hate. Sure you still cant stand my guts?” “More than anyone else i’ve ever encountered.”

Namjoon took this comment as a challenge as he slide down my pants eyeing my soaked underwear. I felt slightly vulnerable as he eyed my clothed sex but lost all state of mind as he took them off and proceeded to kitten lick my women hood. Namjoon was eager but not to eager to not pleasure me enough, which he was doing a great job as he focused most of his attention on my clit while teased my entrance. This enough was make me squirm.

“Ah fuck Namjoon. I cant.”

Namjoon looked up at me before curling his fingers hitting my G-spot in hopes of making me come to the edge. I was already close as my walls clenched around his fingers. Namjoon continued on circling his tongue around my clit pushing me to the edge as i let out one final moan. Namjoon continued to slurp up my juiced before coming back up to my level.

“You still hate me after i made you cum better than all the guys who fucked you before?”

“Still cant stand your guts.”

Namjoon’s eyes darkened even more than before making me slightly weaken under his touch. He proceed to carry me to the bed as he grabbed a condom from his wallet while I laid underneath him awaiting.

“You really keep condoms in your wallet?”

“Well you’ll never know when your enemy secretly has been wanting to fuck you this whole time.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t wait for him to enter me and give me what i gratefully desired. Namjoon had finished rolling on the condom as he asked permission to which i nodded eagerly. I felt Namjoon’s cock wrap around my walls sending me into over drive. I had kept my mouth afraid to show him how much i was enjoying this. Namjoon proceeded to speed up eyeing my state smirking as beads of sweat rolled down his face as he reached unbelievable speeds.

“Are you to afraid to admit how good my cock feels wrapped around that tight pussy of yours?”

I whimpered slightly from his comment only pushing me to the edge. Namjoon grabbed onto one of my legs putting in over his shoulder hitting a new position. The new found position sent me into a new form of nirvana making me let out a moan that i couldn’t hold back.

“Ah fuck Namjoon, fuck right there.”

Namjoon smirked at my sudden vocal commotion only driving him more. Namjoon soon displayed a few moans of his own as he speed up. Namjoon was certainly doing unspeakable things to me not only in bed but also with my emotions that i could no longer keep under control. They were sure to spill out soon. As of now i couldn’t focus to long on it as my second orgasm was approaching.

“Can you go any fucking faster?”

“If go any harder our not gonna want me to stop.”

Namjoon put his words to action as he held into my leg pounding into me as i let out an uncontrolled moan that i didn’t expect. I loved making a rise out of him, it always gave me what i wanted and he never disappointing. Namjoon was giving me countless amount of reasons for him to be worthy and it took to this point of sexual tension for me to finally realize it.

I had let out one final moan as i came undone as Namjoon soon followed behind as our moans mixed together in a form of bliss. Namjoon got off from atop of me to throw the condom away in the bedside trashcan. After the mind blowing sex we hadn’t really expected we laid there in silence looking up at the ceiling.

“I’m, uh sorry if i was to rough.”

I nodded not really knowing how to respond. Namjoon turned his body using his elbow to prop himself up eyeing me.

“Do you really hate me this much? I had thought at least after all this you would show some sort of affection.”

I let out a soft sigh feeling nervous that the conversation was approaching. I hated talking about my feelings especially when it came to him, but there was no running away now. I turned my body facing him seeing his eyes soften before switching back to a poker face as we eyed each other.

“I-I don’t hate you. I never did its just uh i don’t know I just have a hard time showing my feelings. I don’t hat you i guess i like you. It was just this persona i put up. I acted like i hated you but in reality i really admire you.”

I closed my eyes as i stated what i felt before opening them back up greeted by a smiley dimpled faced Namjoon. He displayed a happy state as mine copied his seeing that he wasn’t weirded out by what i said making my mood lighten. Namjoon pulled me into a hug making me laugh lightly feeling actually okay with my feelings for once.

“You know Taehyung misses you, a lot.”

I had stiffened at his name feeling my emotions contract again and so could Namjoon.

“Yeah im sure he does.”

“No im serious, sure he doesn’t say anything but i can just see it in his eyes. Almost as if somethings missing but he cant seem to figure out what or rather who it is.”

I opened my mouth to say something before Namjoon’s phone rung. Namjoon took one arm away from my bare body to examined his phone. Namjoon had typed away before looking back at me with a guilty smile making me look at him confused.

“What did you do?”

“I may have just invited you to hang out with me Taehyung and Jimin. So this should be fun.”

I sighed at Namjoon and his attempt to fix my relationship with Taehyung. Me and Namjoon hadn’t even been on good terms for a couple of hours and he was already disrupting the chaos in my life. Seems like something he does quite often.

I thought i would have been prepared for this but i certainly was not. I had been face to face to Taehyung as Jimin and Namjoon were awkwardly in the background awaiting for the next few moves. Taehyung moved slowly to me before he full on engulfed me in a heart warming hug. His hands gripped around my waist as mine gripped his neck while my nose was in the crock of is neck taking in his scent.

“Oh my god ive missed you so much. Im sorry that ive been such a mean person i truly didnt mean it i just- Ah i dont know. I dont deserve you or your forgiveness but i just cant live without one of my best friends.”

“I missed you too Tae.”

I laughed slightly as he hugged me tighter at the nickname. The hug didnt last long before Namjoon pulled us apart and eyed Tae with a glare.

“Alright thats enough now get our hands off of my girl.”

I smiled softly as Namjoon came behind me and put his arms around my waist bringing us closer in proximity. Tae looked at us with a smirk and pointing between us.

“I see you both settled the sexual tension.”

“Oh you dont even know the half of it.”

Jimin grabbed Tae and walked out my door as they went on to talk about mine and Namjoon’s new found relationship. We followed soon after them hand in hand engaging in small conversation before we got in Jimin’s car.

This time the rid was filled with obnoxious laughs long lived conversation unlike the awkward tension it once was filled with. Namjoon still had his arm around me as we sat in the back seat occasionally stealing a small kiss from me informing me everything was going to be okay.

Namjoon managed to destroy my world but then pick up the broken pieces making them new again.Out of the 7.5 billion people apart of our world i was the only person who was feeling such an extraordinary feeling. It surely wasn’t love as it was to soon but it was a sign of reassurance that Namjoon and i would be okay rather it be boyfriend and girlfriend or strictly friendship. I knew we wouldn’t go on bad terms. These 7.5 billion people roamed our earth, but as of now i only focused one the four of us. The four people who made my world rotate and the one person who made me feel as if i was the only person on planet earth.

Namjoon was the one person i hated the most out of all of these people but somehow he managed to be the one person i cared about most. I had finally accepted my emotions and fate, finally being able to accept it as he sat lovingly by my side.

327 notes · View notes

africareddie · 7 years

Note

haha all the asks,,,,

i’m supposed to be studying- but fuck it i’ll do all of them

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

i’m doing this on spotify lol

dancing in the sheets by shalamar

why try by ariana grande

rock and roll music by chuck berry

u can’t touch this by mc hammer

hip to be square by huey lewis & the news

no scrubs by tlc

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

aha okay so either matt dillon or jules @burgundyrosez because they’re both amazing

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“..and heavy steps, and when frost looked up, prepared for anything...”

4) What do you think about most?

my future

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yeah a little poem was written about me before and i mean there are songs with my name in it *coughs* sweet caroline *coughs*

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

no, mine aren’t really strange lol

7) What's your religion?

i’m a christian but like i’m not very religious

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

riding my bike (if i had one lmao) or walking

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

oh gee- i have noooo idea but i love the 1975

10) What was the last lie you told?

er- i can’t remember exactly what it was

11) Do you believe in karma?

eh, idk

12) What does your URL mean?

it’s all about the outsiders so like tuff,, and then outsiders,, boom

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness is probably giving into people easily, like sharing pieces of me i shouldn’t. my greatest strength is,, idk

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

lol is this even a question??? matt dillon, duh

15) How do you vent your anger?

i don’t get angry that often, but when i do i just listen to music to calm myself down

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i mean i have quite a few antiques, but i wouldn’t call it a collection

17) Are you happy with the person you've become?

yeah, i definitely feel much better about myself then i did like a few weeks ago, but there’s always room for improvement

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

wow,,, idek about the sound i hate. i love the sound of the waves and rain

19) What's your biggest "what if"?

what if someone actually had a crush on me like they really liked me for me,, that would be something

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

nah, not really. i don’t think about that stuff lol

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

i don’t get this question lol

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

i smell air, idk i don’t smell anything

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

i don’t know about the w o r s t place, but the burger king bathroom isn’t pleasant (i never eat there anymore oops)

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

elvis presley was cute, also the weeknd is

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

it’s like, you were put on this earth, so you should make the most of the time you have. so the meaning of life is just to be able to have the opportunity to do whatever you want, whether that’s skydiving or binge watching a show inside, that’s for you to decide

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

nope i don’t drive

27) What was the last movie you saw?

halloween, and now i’m gonna have paranoia about that guy following me when i walk home so great

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

i scraped up my knees pretty bad and i almost broke my nose twice so that was fun

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

aha everything regarding the 40′s-90′s

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah, it’s not fun boys and girls

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

i used to, but i learned that they aren’t worth it, so i just let it go

32) What is your astrological sign?

virgo

33) What's the last thing you purchased?

a vinyl record

34) Love or lust?

love, of course. i feel like with lust, that lust will end up turning into love, at least for me35) In a relationship?

nope, single as a pringle

36) How many relationships have you had?

lol not even one. i was sort of close once..-

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

baha what secret weapon idk how ppl like me

38) Where is your best friend?

at her house,,, d u h

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

yeah, i think i’m a decent person but there’s always someone better

fuck it i’m saving that dog idc if i was going to get married or something i will save that dog

yeah, i will tell people that actually care about me and stuff. idek, i’d probably tell everyone how i really feel about them and try to get as many things as i can done that i want to do. heck yeah i’d be afraid

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

boys will be boys by maureen steele because it’s just amazing and it’s from one of my favorite movies and i just think back to the movie and i smile like an idiot

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication. always tell your partner what’s on your mind, it helps build trust for one another and it overalls makes you feel better about your relationship.

45) How can I win your heart?

just like,, appreciate the things i like and just- idk be there for me and tell me how much you care about me

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

heck yeah

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

i have no clue

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i have no idea either

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."

a beautiful thing that can be jumping with joy one moment, and shattering in pain the next

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

blue and sunset colors

51) What is your current desktop picture?

it’s the gang like jumping off the little platform thing you guys know what i’m talking about,, it’s in b&w

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

lol donald trump

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

um,, like if someone asked how i really felt about them (like if i didn’t like them very much i’d be afraid)

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

reading people’s minds

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

ummmm probably some point where i was in d.c in 8th grade

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

um,, this one thing but i can’t exactly say it so- yeah

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

i have noooo idea tbh, i’m not really into music celebs like that

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

italy boi. or new york

59) Ever been on a plane?

nope

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

matt dillon, rob lowe, diane lane, and other peeps my mind is just going blank though

3 notes · View notes

napstablooks · 7 years

Note

for that ask meme thing,,, do all of them >:Oc

oh god

oh god are you sure

well…

HERE GOES I GUESS,

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen, Fly On The Wall - Joey Pecoraro, Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens, All the Angels - MCR, For Emma - Bon Iver, and Shelter by Porter Robinson2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nick Valentine’s voice actor.3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

”Before I could fasten them, light poured down on me and there he was without a shirt, holding a flashlight.”4: What do you think about most?

My friends.5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”Ur gay lol”6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I sleep with them on because I’m a cold bitch7: What’s your strangest talent?

I type on my phone so much I’ve memorized the keyboard. Is that a talent8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are fucking hot

Boys are soft9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

god one can dream can’t they10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

a few weeks ago i think hah11: Do you have any strange phobias?

honestly none that I can think of right now but I used to be scared of the lamp in my basement as a kid I thought it would eat me12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

many times13: What’s your religion?

I’m agnostic!14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

probably walking! I love taking walks15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m awful at photography so probably in front of it16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

oh god uh. good question. the front bottoms? got me through a lot17: What was the last lie you told?

honest to god it was that i wasn’t depressed when i was18: Do you believe in karma?

yes. not super strongly, but if someone does bad shit and something to happens, ima just watch from a distance.19: What does your URL mean?

it’s from Undertale! my favorite ghost kid!20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

greatest weakness: can’t take criticism because of schizoid.greatest strength: I’m very accepting and I care for everyone.21: Who is your celebrity crush?

MMMMM Krysten Ritter is my MOTHER22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nah dude I’m underage and lonely23: How do you vent your anger?

by hurting myself. deadass. this isn’t to be dramatic. that or i scream a lot24: Do you have a collection of anything?

JOURNALS! i have over 2025: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

in a lot of ways no, but in some ways… yes. yes i am.27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: crunching of anythingsound i love: wood crackling fire!28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if nobody really loves me?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes!30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: my therapy journal hahaleft arm: my teddy bear, Roger!!31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

laundry detergent! i just washed my blanket32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

a hospice in my town33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast even though I’m living in the hell of the east coast rn34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god i don’t fuckin know 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make yourself enjoy it as much as possible and help others get there along the way!36: Define Art.

something you create because of a feeling (or no feeling).37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes! kind of like I believe in karma.38: What’s the weather like right now?

it’s 7 am here and its slightly warm, but clear out 39: What time is it?

7:12 am!40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nope! don’t have my license yet41: What was the last book you read?

I think it was Sharp Objects42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

sorta - after a while it makes me sick43: Do you have any nicknames?

Bee, Robino, Robee, Rob44: What was the last film you saw?

A Beautiful Mind!45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

idk i think i sprained my ankle a few times but otherwise i don’t do enough to get injured46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yep!!!!47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Overwatch! it’s been an obsession since about july of 201648: What’s your sexual orientation?

not sure right now. pan with a preference towards girls maybe?49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not big ones but yeah50: Do you believe in magic?

yes!!!!!!!!!!51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah i’m a super angry person :/52: What is your astrological sign?

Virgo 53: Do you save money or spend it?

i spend it so bad lmao. i don’t have any rn though cause no income source54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

pizza :D55: Love or lust?

love, always. always always.56: In a relationship?

nope! just got out of one about a week ago.57: How many relationships have you had?

4! only two of them meant anything.58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no i’m a failure ;A;59: Where were you yesterday?

i was @ my house sleeping60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep! a music box from my mom61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no they are evil62: What’s your favourite animal?

SEA OTTER!!!!!!!63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i make them feel super comfortable around me! i love it when people are themselves around me, it makes me feel trusted. i don’t do it out of malice or anything ;-;64: Where is your best friend?

at her house a few miles away from me…i get to see her today!65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

-esuerc (is that how you spell it?)-mercysblaster-moon-goblin-mojavemessenger-welcome-to-far-harbor(these aren’t in order)

66: What is your heritage?

whitest of the white. irish or something? i think? fuck if i know anymore67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

streaming overwatch on twitch haha68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

trump.69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

fuck yeah dude who do you think i am lmao70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i think so! i think I’m a very caring and loving person. id like to come to me for my problems, yknow?71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuck my job save the dog i can always find a new job but i can’t always save a dog’s life72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a - yes. i tell everyone.b - i enjoy myself the most i can. c - no. i’m not afraid of dying.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

fuck. trust. i guess.74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

don't stop me now by queen! never ceases to make me smile like a dumb idiot75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3309 hah76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust. absolutely. and being comfortable and putting everything out in the open.77: How can I win your heart?

make me feel trusted and give me love. lots of love.78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

of course it can! 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

realizing that i am my own. nobody else’s.80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 women’s heck off81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i always knew it would end like this! dammit!82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

smiling…a heart full of love.84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”big mood”85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Concrete - This Wild Life86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

PERIWINKLE !!!!!87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s a cool map i found while researching DnD dungeon layouts!88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump!!!!89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

”why do you lie?”90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

i’d freak out but i mean if they just chilling they can be my friends91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

oh shit to freeze time obviously92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time that i had a long talk with a friend at 3 am. you know who you are. i can’t remember anything that good for the past few years.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

being abused.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

FUCK UHHHH carly rae jepson95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hdkjhajk omg idk uhhh probably new york to visit my friend shivani96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

nah fam97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yep!98: Ever been on a plane?

i have and i hated it99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

please, just let there be love.

YOU’RE WELCOME, ANON!

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