#onward and upward!!!!!! only!!!!!!!!!

[yoccu]

Happy to be done with this one!

- Lanio immediately after killing Castrel for the 512th time

[sainz100]

Carlos Sainz | Post Sprint Qualifying | 2025 Chinese GP

[clits-and-clips]

Idk if I ever mentioned here that I got a job. That's a thing that happened. Ya girl is contributing to society 💅🏼

[adimouze]

.

[whumpbug]

you know what i need more gene and cassidy physical contact rn actually…..don’t care they can be at each other’s throats i just need it (shaking them in a little jar that is my mind)

HI MELLO i wanted to make this into a fic so. here you go. it was originally going to be a silly fluff fic but then the Voices (lem) gave me an idea and i ran with it.

i was literally Sad writing this. gene is in the trenches, the TRENCHES i say. its so bad. you get small, but meaningful physical touches and Angst.

DISCLAIMER: this is set like. a little earlier in their relationship. this is meant to be The moment that gene started realizing he perhaps Wanted this man. i'll make a timeline at some point bc the stuff i've written is not in order IM SORRY GUYS

cw: drunkenness, period-typical homphobia, internalized homphobia

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

“No. No. Y’get away from me, Deputy Dipshit. Not today.” Cassidy slurred. “You ain't takin’ me away.”

He nearly fell off of the barstool when he turned to shoved an indignant finger in Gene’s direction, catching himself on the side of the counter with a small “woah!”

Gene narrowed his eyes. “Did you just call me Deputy Dipshit?”

Cassidy suddenly let out a loud snort and, this time, really did fall off the barstool with a solid thump. He only kept cackling and clutching his sides.

“Deputy Dipshit!” He cried, breaking out into another round of laughter.

“I really am sorry to bother you Delaney,” Mr. Stetson, the bartender, began. “But he was causin’ some problems and pickin’ fights. Can’t have that in my saloon.”

“Of course, sir. I understand. I’ll take care of it.”

Gene sighed.

“No! Don’t you take one step closer Delaney, I ain’t going with’ya!”

Gene took a step closer. “I ain’t gonna arrest you, Silver. Just gonna sober you up.”

“Hmm.” Cassidy squinted up at Gene, and now Gene could really see how drunk the idiot was. 

His cheeks were flushed. His hair was mussed and his eyes were half lidded and glazed over, but he had this dopey, infuriating smile plastered across his face. He was slowly getting himself to his feet, but his foot caught on a crooked plank in the floor and it sent him listing forward, and Gene rushed to meet him, catching him by the arm.

“Woah.. s’all spinny..”

“Yeah, well, moonshine’ll do that to you. Can you walk?”

“Yep.”

Only Cassidy made no move to take even a single step. Even with Gene’s large hand around his bicep, he was swaying in place, like he was rocking on a ship. 

“Jesus, Silver,” Gene breathed, pressing himself flush against Cassidy’s side and wrapping his arm around his waist. “Come on.”

Cassidy simply hummed softly and put practically all his weight on Gene. The pair staggered their way out of the saloon and into the empty street.

“Where’re we goin’?” He slurred, letting his head loll towards Gene’s shoulder.

“We’re gonna book you a room at the inn so you can sleep this off. Ain’t no point in trying to get you on your horse.”

“Mmh.. yeah.. Scotch don’t like me ridin’ drunk..”

“I’ll bet.”

The two arrived at the small inn down the street with relatively no issue, until they reached the steps. Cassidy's boots must have been made of lead, because the man simply refused to lift his feet.

Eventually Gene sighed, and lifted the man by the armpits and set him on the porch.

Gene adjusted his grip around the man’s middle and stepped up to the front desk. The woman looked up at him, unamused.

“How can I help you, Delaney?”

“Just bookin’ a room for my friend here. He had too much to drink. Anything available?”

The woman flipped through the log book before turning her deadpan gaze back to Gene.

“Third room to the right. Don’t leave a mess.”

“Yes ma’am,” Gene replied, pulling out a few bills from his wallet and depositing them on the counter. The outlaw was going to owe him.

Cassidy let out a soft groan as Gene led him down the hall. He thanked the stars that they didn’t have to climb any stairs, or else he might have had to throw the man over his shoulder like a damn sack of potatoes. 

Cassidy mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

“I said,” He lifted his head from where it was lazily slouched over. “M’glad you’re here.”

“Weren’t you just telling me not to come near you--”

“Shaddup. I just.. Montana’s not gonna let me back in’ta camp tonight. I pissed him off.” Cassidy hiccuped lightly, letting his head fall toward Gene once again. “Would’ve slept in the woods tonight.”

Gene didn’t know what to say. Part of him felt like he wasn’t supposed to hear that in the first place.

Gene had his fair share of run-ins with Montana. The man was mean and cold. In all honesty, he sort of scared Gene. He certainly couldn't imagine being raised by the man. He was ruthless.

With Cassidy, at least Gene had a certain sense of security that he wouldn’t be shot dead at the drop of a hat. Their relationship had progressed as of late. Gene saw him less as a criminal that needed to be locked away, and more as the complicated man he was. He couldn’t quite explain it.

Maybe it was more akin to companionship that Gene would have liked to admit.

So he said nothing. He simply half-dragged Cassidy into the small room and deposited him on the bed. 

Cassidy groaned and let himself fall onto his back, blinking blearily at the ceiling.

“Why’re you helpin’ me.. in the first place,” He slurred. He didn't look away from the ceiling.

Gene began to work on removing Cassidy’s boots for him. “‘Cause we can’t have a crook out on the streets, now can we?” 

“Mmmh.. then why didn’t’ya put me away.” Cassidy hiccuped quietly.

“In jail? Guess I didn’t feel like walkin’ that far, is all,” Gene huffed. “Sit up.”

Cassidy obliged, squeezing his eyes shut at the wave of vertigo that overtook him. He swayed where he sat. Gene stepped closer, leaned closer, and began to methodically unbutton his coat for him. He could smell the liquor on his breath.

For a brief, fleeting moment, he thought that perhaps this was not something that two men should be doing together. It was intimate. Too intimate, especially for a deputy and an outlaw. 

Suddenly, Cassidy reached a clumsy hand up and found Gene’s large, calloused one. He gripped it firmly and lifted his flushed face.

“D’laney.. You.. you’re a real good guy..” He hiccuped. “Wan’ you t’know that.”

Gene felt the blush creep up his ears.

He averted his eyes. “Stop talking. You’re drunk.”

“Hah. Yeah.”

Gene worked Cassidy’s arms out of his coat and with that, the latter flopped unceremoniously onto the bed. He let out a slow, sleepy groan.

Gene huffed a small laugh and hooked the coat on the bed post. He watched Cassidy blink dazedly for a few moments.

“Turn on your side, Silver.”

Cassidy simply grunted, but didn't move.

“Christ.” Gene leaned over the bed and pulled Cassidy to lay on his right. Some hair fell over his eyes, and Gene reached up to brush it away, but--

He did not expect such a visceral pit to form in his stomach when Cassidy leaned into his hand.

The man relaxed, burying his nose into Gene’s fingers and sighing contentedly. His eyelashes fluttered against Gene's palm.

Gene's heart stopped.

Before he thought better of it, Gene gently, tenderly cupped Cassidy's cheek and ran a thumb along his cheekbone. In the dim candlelight of the room, Cassidy looked something out of a grecian myth.

Never had he seen something so beautiful. Gene thought he was going to be sick.

He snatched his hand away as if it had been burned.  

“I’ll get goin’ now,” He said hurriedly, crossing the room to the doorway in a few strides. He needed distance. He couldn’t be near that damn outlaw, not when it felt like his heart was going to beat out of goddamn chest.

Cassidy was already snoring, curled in on himself and pulling the pillows tight to his chest. He looked peaceful.

Gene felt anything but.

He shut the door behind him and bid the woman at the front desk goodnight before all but racing out of the inn. His head was spinning so much, he started to wonder if he was the drunk one.

A drink didn't sound too bad, either way.

He found a small space between buildings and sank down the wall, lowering his head. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to quell the fire that burned in his chest.

Why did he feel like this? What was wrong with him? Cassidy was a man. Cassidy was a criminal.

And yet all Gene wanted to do was march back into that room and pull Cassidy into his arms and let the world fall away. He wanted to be near him, to be with him, and that thought terrified him.

Gene’s hands flitted to the ring on his necklace. He shut his eyes.

Christ, help him.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

[velvetwyrme]

People came for bugs but got an in-depth look of car-stitution

car-sti-tution.............

i feel like. a lot of people came for comics filled with bad jokes and too many punchlines and- wait...

they're still getting those, im sure its fine then ajhdkjhdkhjhdjbfnfk

[normalbrothers]

i still think linda was doing arthur's work in s5, and it's funny because tommy says he doesn't trust her, but i guess because she knows her numbers it's okay. competent personnel is hard to find these days

[catless-and-covenless]

N if you’re still reading this, which I doubt because you’re a good boy who would have realized this is my spam and vent post place and never wanted to invade my privacy, don’t read this one please. (Or any of them is my preference but again you’re a nice boy who would never encroach on a lady’s privacy right?) (Hopefully this is a useless first paragraph)

I need to spew my thoughts without thinking someone I know can see this.

Cr is safe at the dorms and sleeping. I hope his dreams are sweet and kind since life has been anything but. My sweet boy. I trust him, so I’ll trust that he has this under control. It’s out of my control and it will be okay. If I can trust Cr to be my heart reborn I can trust him to keep himself safe.

I left him to rest. I left him without saying it. I can’t. I want to. Cr deserves to hear it. Before he goes. Before he comes back. Or if he lets me-before I go. I want to be brave. I’m trying. I will. One day. I hope so anyways. I don’t want to not say it.

I wonder what he thinks of what we found in the well. I want to know what he wanted to tell me. I want to know what G thought.

That was my first time being..a voice piece. It was interesting. I know it is so dependent on what is channeled but it was so nice and sleepy. I do wonder what it looked like from the outside., I feel like I keep finding new things I’m good at the more I lean into being a witch or practicing brujeria. I do wonder how far I can take this. How powerful I actually am. Modern witches are powerful but this….is more like what we used to do. What we do in M. What we DID in M. Before everything happened in history. I do wonder….what I could do with the right materials and rituals.

I have too many thoughts. So I did what I always need to do when I get like this. I went and laid on the earth next to Abuela. I asked her questions and watched her dance around them like a butterfly does before it finally lands on the flower. But such is the nature of elders. She’s supposed to guide me to the answers, not give them to me. And she is my elder for a reason. She’s getting older. She gets lost in memories. I’m just thankful she’s still here to teach and guide me. Although I know when the time comes she’ll definitely be as active as Abuelo. Still teaching me.

And it helped. At least it definitely eased some worries in my mind. I mean at least…still. I need to get over myself. Proper witches used to dance naked in the woods at midnight and now I’m blushing over such small things even Jane Austen would call me a prude. I just…the properties of the gift are so interesting. And now I have the smallest of plans forming. Plans I think could work. Especially if I start dipping further into my own practice. Maybe it is time to make rumors come true.But that requires so much planning and talking and agreements that I’m too tired to think about it right now.

Using the gift seems like an interesting use of my talents. Friday should be interesting. I want to use a small bit just to see what it looks like. I hope it doesn’t affect anyone too much. Especially…I guess I don’t want to miss out but I don’t want any connection I make to only be that kind of connection. And in that scenario I would only ever use it on me.

I already had my heart broken. It hurt. I don’t want that to happen again. It will be worse than the what ifs if I do make a giant jump of trust like that…I don’t know what I want. Not within that realm anyways. Everything else is so easy to know what I want. Snacks, Movies, and just some privacy. It feels like I especially never get the last one now.

It’s all so confusing in my head. I should go talk to Papa. It’s so much easier there. I know I just have to be a smart and sweet daughter. And he loves me so much that that box is so easy to fall into. I just want him to hug me. He won’t like my sweats but since I’m just running errands I think I can convince him I’m not being a mess. And I can put my hair in a ponytail before going over so it’s not too messy. And maybe I can get some chamoy and mango to snack on while I watch Game of Thrones tonight while I’m there. I don’t know. I don’t know if he has time to see me. I’m not a kid anymore and it is his work place. Maybe I shouldn’t. Ugh I don’t know what to do but maybe I’m just trying to fill the time to not think.

Anything to not think about Cr going to that house and G from going into that place.That text message was so….surprising. And random. At least to me. It’s-what do they need that for? We already tried it. The funny thought of Ir loading a water gun with it and spraying everyone with it like a baptism to lessen R’s influence crossed my mind and made me giggle though. And it’s Ir. Whatever they want it for I’m sure it’s for a good reason. Ir and G will take care of each other.

I’m still going to be worried until I get the A-okay text messages from both of them.

Maybe I should call N. At least answer whatever questions he has over a phone call since he never text me back when he was free this weekend. And I’ll be busy tomorrow. Unless he wants to come over so we can walk through Friday's ritual together? Actually…that might be nice….to have some company :)

It also leaves out the possibility of….well. I’ll think about it. Phone call. Maybe. I feel like I want to just split myself into quarters so I can do everything all at once!

I need to go into the woods soon. Clearly I’ve been in town for far too long without being in nature. That’s probably why my head is all confused about everything. So jittery. I need to go and dance barefoot in the grass and just lay underneath a tree. Normally everything is so clear. Or maybe there's just more pieces? I’m clearly out of practice since middle school of dividing my attentions. But I'm ahead on classwork and homework. So I can afford a night of GoT and snacks and being a teenager before I go back to being respectable, responsible, and all knowing. And tomorrow after class I’ll schedule some time to go to the library to handle anything Friday’s class will give me. Oh I’m so excited about tomorrow’s class. I wonder what it will be about. I wonder who will be in it.

I hope it’s not M. She can go dive into a Pollock splatter.

She better not be in my class. It’s bad enough she’s in a class with all my boys.

Hm. Time to think about Mangoes and Chamoy and GoT.

[iamwhoiamwithnoapologies]

[muirneach]

aaagh. i try not to worry so much about money and whatnot because its my number one anxiety and im sooo happy i have my job because its really easy and also tennis themed but they are NOT giving me a lot of hours. i wanted to work full time (or at least like 30 hours a week) this summer because i didnt work all school year and i really really need cash for university. some back of napkin calculations tell me id make an extra ~1.5k if i was working back at my minimum wage job this summer. and i would be doing two jobs if i could but my hours at the tennis club are not consistent (like, it’s not as if i work every thursday or whatever, i just work whenever and i cant schedule around it) so i couldn’t plan my second job around it. and i know i could be firm and tell each place i can work xyz days but i hate doing thattttt. someone give me ten thousand canadian dollars please ! okay complaining over

[dandyshucks-moving]

there's this one photo I've seen floating around a few times with the words "I wish we could've met as kids, you would've loved the softer me" and I think about it every now and then

so ... art ʅ(๑ ᷄ω ᷅ )ʃ

[sigynpenniman]

okay time to go bother an actual eye doctor because I wanna be the dead secretary so bad. this feels so unhinged and extra. i feel like they're going to laugh me out of the building. but. life is sooooo fucking short man

[ohheyitsokay]

aaahhh I just saw your new pfp and it's so cute I love the fall spooky vibes!!! 💖💖

thank you dear friend!! i know it's been forever since you sent this (since my last pfp) but since you seem to be having a rough couple of days, have this little spooky coloring sheet i made to remind you that you are loved <3

[sunrockpleasant]

can't believe after 14 years on this site i still managed to accidentally delete my account........................

[cupiare]

i’m not scared of growing old cause i don’t see how anything can be scarier than being in my early 20s. even if things get worse they won’t be novelty horrors of adult life anymore

[sillyba]

sometimes you just gotta say fuck it i tried and carry on coyging nonetheless!!