#oooh the 2nd makes me crazy

[jonathanbiers]

hello may i have some fic lore please. i am requesting a dvd commentary analysis of your favorite ever scene you've written. please and thank you and only if you feel like it <3

EVER WRITTEN? OOOH. uhhhh my favorite scene i've ever written has not been published yet (and may not ever? it's. complicated. but i won't talk about it in detail i'm so sorry) and while my favorite fic in general that i've written, like, with the whole thing taken into consideration is from the tone of your voice, i've talked about my favorite scenes from that one multiple times before, so i'll give you my 2nd fave.

which is from part one of the steddie fic i actually finished last week, which i affectionately refer to as "eyeliner steve" because that's a lot shorter than you're shooting stars from your eyes (it drives me crazy, drives me wild). i'll put the excerpt and my rambling under a read more because i will be quoting whole paragraphs, oops. also it's nsfw, so there's that.

so first of all, the alley scene in part one was the very second image that popped into my mind when, way back in SEPTEMBER, i had the conversation with @jeysuso that inspired me to write this whole entire ass fic. i really wanted to make it so obvious that, sure, while the idea behind the fic was basically "omg what if steve wore eyeliner and eddie fucked him till he cried" (happens in part 2 👀👀👀) this is still an established relationship where they're very much in love, talkin gomez and morticia level whipped and horny for each other. but the scene itself starts in the hideout:

The first time in a few weeks that Steve’s free to make it to Corroded Coffin’s show at The Hideout, there he is in the crowd, eyes rimmed with black and sticking out like a sore thumb in a teal polo. He’s got his denim jacket—he bought it because it reminds him of Eddie when they’re apart, he says—draped over his arm and he’s singing along to Eddie’s every word, knows all the lyrics by heart. He insists Corroded Coffin is the greatest metal band of all time, and Eddie knows it’s because they’re the only metal band Steve likes, but how supportive he is makes Eddie’s heart sing anyway. 

i think after time (which it isn't stated but i wrote this with the idea they'd have been dating for a year, maybe two) steve would adopt little eddie-esque pieces into his wardrobe, but definitely not in a "becoming someone else" way where he's donning a new style he's never previously had any interest in for himself. just something simple, so i chose a denim jacket, which would remind him of eddie's vest, and maybe he'd have a little corroded coffin pin on it or something. but he's still going to show up to eddie's show in what he's comfortable in, and eddie would never ever want him to change just to fit in with *his* crowd or whatever. i really like the sweet little moment i wrote to get that across, when eddie spots him in the crowd.

And Then 😈😈😈 the alley.

After the show, before Eddie can so much as get his lit cigarette between his lips, Steve is cornering him against the brick wall between the emergency exit and the dumpster, clinging to his sweat-soaked t-shirt and kissing him like he’ll just die if they part. Eddie’s come to expect this by now. He doesn’t get it, but Steve seems to love how he gets after shows, how he’s all sweaty and flushed and breathing hard and— Okay, yeah, maybe he does get it.  That doesn’t mean he’s any less amused about it as he carefully holds the still-lit cigarette at a safe distance. Eddie’s free arm snakes around Steve’s waist, pulling him as close as he can and eagerly swallowing down the sound Steve makes at the contact, using the opportunity to get his tongue inside his mouth. Steve one-ups him, because of course he does, sucking on Eddie’s tongue until he starts to feel like his jeans fit a bit tighter than they had before. 

if i had money to commission someone to draw a scene from any of my works, this would be my 2nd choice (behind the shotgunning scene in fttoyv with steve in argyle's lap but again. i've talked abt that one)

this kind of starts off the dynamic i keep in mind through the whole thing, which is: steve gets his way, eddie knows this, and wouldn't change a thing. even if eddie is technically filling the more "dominant" role, steve is the one in control of what's happening, and eddie loves giving him exactly what he wants, even (especially) if he can tease him before getting there. which also happens later. 👀

When Steve finally breaks away, it’s only because he’s trailing more kisses along Eddie’s jawline and down his neck. Eddie tilts his head, gives him some room, and has to suppress a shudder when he feels Steve’s tongue on his skin, licking a line up his neck. It shouldn’t turn him on like this but it does, he knows he’s all sweaty and gross but he also knows Steve loves it. He has it confirmed when Steve’s lips brush against the shell of his ear around a whisper of, “Eddie, you looked so fuckin’ hot tonight, under all those lights...” 

i got called out in my dms by a lovely friend for this paragraph ghfjkjgk don't look at me too close. anyway. my point here is that steve has a sweat kink. maybe i'm projecting. that's my business

Before Eddie can even get a chance to respond, Steve is sinking to his knees on the pavement, and all the words fade right off the tip of his tongue. It’s well into the night but his eyes have had enough time to adjust, and between the distant streetlights, the full moon, and the neon red of the sign above the emergency exit, he can see the man in front of him very clearly. And what a pretty picture he makes, kiss-swollen lips and disheveled hair and that fucking eyeliner, all tinted in red as he leans in to mouth at the obvious tent in the fabric of Eddie’s jeans. 

i don't even think i need to comment on this one because i just? yeah. that image. steve on his knees <3 i love it as much as steve in laps <3

but behind the curtains, we have steve doing what he does throughout the entirety of this fic, which is intentionally pushing eddie's buttons in order to get what he wants, which of course he eventually does. because they are equally as weak for each other, and steve knows he's hot. also i hc eddie's favorite color as red? but that's just me, and even if you disagree, we all know red is sexy lighting.

i really don't even have that much more to say about it ghdjgdk i'm really proud of this. and of course there's some good stuff immediately following 😈😈

[blackvail22]

bro i have been sick as hell these past few days

took a covid test and, well, i have covid!!

the first time ever, too

and now, in about 6 hours from now, i have to call my job and tell them that

I. FEEL. SO. BAD.

i know its not my fault im sick, but we only have, like, one person to replace me... and if he cant work, what then? i think there is a new person, but im the associate that trains people, too. who is going to train her?

i keep writing the script of what im going to say in my head. i keep going over it over n over... nothing seems quite right...

its so difficult to talk to my store manager, too. i mean, im socially awkward in general, but she doesnt respond in ways i can expect? and its difficult to read her facial expressions (if she has any at all), so it stresses me out. i cant understand her lol

and thats not her fault...

but i have to call off (again), but this time, its for five days. oooh my god.

i might just ask to talk to my assistant store manager, but i know shes usually busy when shes not mod... and shes stressed out enough lol

im going to SOB

i think my fear of not being believed is taking a part in my anxiety, too, since my mom never believed i was sick while growing up (i was sick so much it caused me to have a disease in my tonsils and severe sinus issues and allergies) so, i mean!!

everything always ends up back to my mom

kinda crazy

kinda... sad.

off topic, but i find it difficult to talk about my dad to my sister, specifically in a... bad way. shes so close to him that she wont see much, if any, wrong in him, so its generally hopeless lol

like, my dad has always had favoritism towards my sister. he showed up to everything for my sister and paid full attention to it. me? nahh. he'd go *sometimes* or if he had to take me, but he wont pay attention.

it makes me sad that i never really had a parent i could go to. i guess i go to my dad, now, but its not the same. its not. i still have this uncomfortable feeling towards him. or, like, he isnt my dad. i dont know. i just see him in a different light now... idk how to explain it

how did it go from me having covid to me being anxious abt telling my boss to me having daddy issues?

woah

i need to take my concentration medication LMAO

its 2:18am on december 2nd, 2023.

i am v much not okay! and thats okay

i just wish i get some actual sleep and i stop fucking coughing

oh, and for my boyfriend to text me back when he wakes up instead just reacting with a heart to my message

goodnight!

update: i got decent sleep, im not coughing as much, AND my boyfriend texted me back. didnt expect that to happen lmao

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

1989 Taylor's Version Thoughts!!!

longggggg post lmao

Welcome To New York (Taylor's Version):

The intro sounds so clean

tho the synths sound really different

the vocals omg

is it just me or does her voice seem really far back???

it's kinda hard to hear her tbh

the bridge <3

damn, I always forget how short this song is

altogether sounds a little off???

Blank Space TV:

she sounds so different and it's so awesome

the way she says "I can make the bad guys good for a weekend"??????? flawless

the chorus feels less loud? if that makes sense

the anger in her voice in the second verse is *chef's kiss*

love that she kept the "oooh" in the second chorus, idk why I was worried she wouldn't

the bridge is still as awesome as always ofc

Style TV:

I don't think I'm ready for this lol

I think the reason they all sounds so different to me is that this is the stolen version I'm most familiar with

this album was my childhood and got me through a lot of really hard things

the "mmm yeah" after "taking off his coat", dear lord

dude I think this beats the rep tour version for me

which is like crazy high praise

Out of The Woods TV:

The distant piano (?) in the beginning is so fucking good

the amount of times I screamed this song at like 8 lmaooooo

I genuinely don't have words this is so good omg

All You Had To Do Was Stay TV:

my first track 5 🥹

I haven't listened to this one really in a while and I've since had a really rough friendship breakup with my bsf

it's hitting a lot harder rn

no but fr it's outing my abandonment issues rn

(I was like sobbing and aggressively lip-syncing while listening to this song lol)

Shake It Off TV:

my first Taylor song!

ngl I literally dansed for 3:39 minutes straight lmaooo

I Wish You Would TV:

it sounds so different but so similar at the same tine

tbh sometimes I forget how good some of these songs are

the "I wish I wish I"s are still as fun as they used to be

Bad Blood TV:

omg it's 3rd grade Sprite's jam!

the bass and drums hit so much harder holy shit

this goes so fucking hard

the echo on "ghosts"???? hello???

Wildest Dreams TV:

I've had this on repeat for 2 years

I just vibed for 4 minutes lmaoooo

How You Get The Girl TV:

honestly such a bop even nearly a decade later

how was she holding out on us with this chorus for so long???? it hits so much harder now

with the synths in the chorus, I'm surprised jack didn't produce this lol

This Love TV:

such a vibe

god I love this song

I kinda want this kind of love

I Know Places TV:

This is the one I'm most excited and most worried for

it's probably my favorite 1989 song

maybe even my favorite Taylor song

the way she says "and we run" has soothed my fears lmao

<- 2nd pre gave me chills holy fuck

Clean TV:

yk I'm actually starting to feel "clean" from my SA and this song is probably gonna make me cry because of it lol

to think that I was listening to the stolen version in the months following it and now I'm here about to celebrate 9yrs since I was last assaulted????

listening to some of these songs are crazy to me

Wonderland TV:

this and I Know Places are tied for my favourite 1989 song so I'm ridiculously excited lol

the prechorus has somehow managed to go harder

one of my favourite parts of the stolen version was always how pissed she sounds during the "oooh"s in the prechorus and I'm so glad she kept that in

I'm nearly to the vault songs and it still doesn't feel real that 1989TV is out

You Are In Love TV:

this is in my top 5 on 1989

I love this song so much

nevermind I want this kind of love

which is weird because I genuinely can't imagine myself having this kind of love but whatever lol

New Romantics TV:

last rerecording before the vault songs!

CAUSE BABY I COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE BRICK THEY THREW AT ME

"Slut!" (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault):

I claimed this vault song so I'm like so fucking excited right now

omg it sounds so fun

the tempo of the lyrics feels weird ngl

the chorus is fun but the verses are (hopefully) gonna grow on me

(it's my least favorite vault song, message in a bottle has officially been pushed out of its place 😭)

Say Don't Go TV FTV:

this is a fucking guy punch holy shit

my phone was dying during this one so I was trying to fix it for the most of it

musically, this was more what I was expecting from slut

Now That We Don't Talk TV FTV:

this fucking hurt so ow

it's cruel his shirt this song is

Suburban Legends TV FTV:

it's giving mastermind

no thoughts just wow

Is It Over Now TV FTV:

wtf it that intro?!?!

"only rumours bout my hips and thighs/and my whispered sighs" I fucking love how this is said

I love her your honour

[spaceyflowerswriting]

just for you (sinu han x reader)

details: fluffy drabble, gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, general canon au but like; if nothing bad ever happened to big deal <3, you and sinu have been dating for a while already, both of you live together on big deal's street

summary: it's your birthday, and sinu wants to spoil you.

×

"Sinu, you really don't have to do all this."

Your boyfriend grinned at you as he lightly bumped into you with his hip, his arms full of bags of things he bought for you. "It's your birthday, darling, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't spoil you?"

"I would've been just fine if we hung out at home and did nothing," you giggled, before poking his side with a more serious expression. "Besides, I heard the money you're spending on me isn't from your pocket alone--"

"Aish!" He immediately tried to shush you, cheeks turning a little rosy. "It was volunteer money, alright? Not like I went around begging the boys to give me money." He was trying to avoid your stare as you deadpanned at him but eventually he gave in and apologized. "I swear I didn't beg for money though. All I said was, 'I wish I had a little more to spend on my lover,' and the guys around said, 'Hey, you can take some of my money.' How could I say no to such kindness?!"

You poked his side again, laughing before sighing. "You're too much, Sinu. Too much."

"And you love me for it, baby!"

"That I do," you hummed cheerfully as he laughed. The conversation fell into a comfortable quiet until eventually Sinu noticed a clothing shop.

"Oooh! We could get you a real nice outfit there. You want something light for the upcoming warm weather?"

"Sure," you chirped, already following after your enthusiastic boyfriend.

Once inside, Sinu got to speaking with an employee who eventually came to you, asking you questions while Sinu stood nearby, glancing around at the outfits on display. He looked like a cute, curious puppy and it nearly distracted from the conversation you were having with the employee. Nonetheless, you were able to successfully buy a fitted outfit of your choice with Sinu's money--er, Big Deal's money.

After that, he had you leading the way and encouraged you to do whatever you wished, as long as it wasn't anything "outrageous." You just laughed before deciding to hop around a few stores, buying bits of this and that as well as some snacks along the way. You made sure anything you wanted wasn't crazy expensive or expensive at all out of consideration. Sinu pouted at you a lot once he noticed but you could tell he was happy to not spend so much. Still, he seemed conflicted because he really did want to spoil you.

In an attempt to reassure him, you told him, "The most priceless thing you could give me is your love, so don't worry about all this material stuff, okay?" Whether you cringed after saying such a cheesy thing or not, your heart was full to the brim with affection when Sinu gave you a big smile and kissed your forehead.

"Then I'll make sure to show you plenty of love at home~"

The day ended nicely after that. On the way home on Big Deal's beloved street, Sinu parted ways with you, explaining, "I'm gonna repay my buddies for any money of theirs I didn't spend on you. I'll catch up with you in a bit!"

You smiled warmly at him as he walked off humming.

[linksthoughtbrambles]

Spin Me [Too]

Part 45 of Link's Thought Brambles. [Note: This is the 2nd half of the 44th chapter I wrote. Tumblr forced me to split it because it was too long for one post.]

My stomach just got louder.  Do I dare go grab a plate by myself, or will that lady come back? Maybe I can just wait until they serve dinner.

“Your stomach’s talking, Link.”

“Yeah, no, I’m good, mom.”

“…Would you like me to flag Chee down?  She’d bring you a plate.”

“No, no no no, she’s having fun.”

“I can get you-“

“NO, mom, if anything I should get you a plate-OH! Oh, do you want some food?  I’ll get you food, it’s fine-“

“Link, my sweet, I’ve already eaten a fair amount.”

“Y-you can have mine, Link.  I’m not very hungry.”

“Really?  I thought you were starving, Mipha.”

“I- I thought so, too.  Funny how these things come and go, hehehe.”

.

Mmmm.  There’s something really off about her face.  She’s staring at that plate of fruit.

…Seggin and Sharoo look uncomfortable.

Did something happen?  I easily could’ve missed something while I was dancing with Zelda, which reminds me, do I still see-

Yes. Purah and Robbie are still here, too.  Dancing.  Oooh, Purah’s with Sir Everton, he’s handsome.  AND not married.  Robbie’s dancing with the only Gerudo woman in the room and she is absolutely towering over him.  They both seem comfortable with it.  Actually… they both might be smirking.  I’m not sure I want to know what that means.

“Link?”

“Oh- sorry, Mipha- I just keep taking inventory.  Making sure we’re all here.”

“Oh.  That makes sense.  Um.  Would you like some fruit?”

Something is definitely not right.  Mom?

And that is a MOM LOOK.  Oh no.  Oh no I’m bad at these things.  I know the ones she does all the time but this one… she’s trying to tell me something and it’s complicated enough that I can’t get it all from her face alone.

Do I need to talk to Mipha?

I need to talk to Mipha, don’t I?  That’s what the look’s for.

“Suuure, Mipha, I’ll have a few pieces, and would you like to dance?”

OooOOOoo!  Shock-face!

“W-w-well- well- I- are you sure?”

Why wouldn’t I be?  “Of course.”

“Oh.  O-okay, then.”

…Seggin looks real unhappy about that, that’s a glower if I ever saw one, I think he’s making it extra obvious for me so I can tell for sure he’s irritated.  Uh.  Okay.  But it’s not like I’m going to suddenly change my mind and tell Mipha I won’t dance with her, that’d just be mean.   I’ll just eat a couple of these real quick, here’s my hand, Mipha.

I haven’t held her hand in forever.  I think I might’ve been six or seven the last time I did.  I always have this weird expectation that Zora should be slippery or something and they’re not.  Their skin’s real tough and their muscles dense and powerful and you can feel it.

Especially when Bazz puts you in a headlock.

I miss Bazz.  Too bad he didn’t visit, too.  Rivan’s a good friend but Bazz is crazy random like me.  I have to remember to tell him about the stupid bun knees thing.

Maybe I should tell Mipha, too.  She’d find it silly at least.  Maybe it would cheer her up a little?  I haven’t told her the story yet of how ridiculous I was when the slate first did its mind-reading trick.

This is another lively-sounding dance.  Very joyful.  That’s a fun-sounding instrument, what is it?!  The man playing it’s squeezing a bag under his arm!  That’s a new one.

Mipha’s trying not to hold my hand hard at all.  Does she think she’ll hurt me?

Dance floor.

She doesn’t seem to feel like moving the happy way the music wants.

“Hey, Mipha.  Is something wrong?”

.

.

.

…There absolutely IS something wrong.

“Not really, no.”

That’s her eyes-closed-very-sweet-smile and now she’s dropped her head again so I can’t see her eyes when they’re open and something is definitely wrong and Mipha just lied to me.

“…Mipha.  I- I’ve known you a long time.  Something IS wrong.”

“N-no, Link.  Really.”

??!  What could she possibly think she can’t tell me?  “…I won’t… I won’t badger you, but I can tell.  Even with how bad I can be at picking up on things, you’re bothered enough it’s pretty easy for me to see it.  You… don’t have to tell me, but can I help?”

…She just shook a little.  Didn’t she?

“You’re so sweet, Link.  So, so kind.”

“…Thanks.  Let me be kind.  Let me help?”

“If you could help, I’d let you… but there’s nothing to be done.”

Now we’re getting looks because we’re the only people dancing slow to this hippity hoppity tune.  Concentrate, Link.  Look at her face.

If I thought she’d be comfortable with it, I’d tip her chin up.  Try to get her to meet my eyes.  But that’s the sort of gesture people usually save for very intimate relationships, and even then it seems kind of pushy.  Maybe I can ask her?

“Mipha, would it be okay for you to look at me?”

“O-oh.  I don’t think I can just now.”

…She doesn’t want me to see her eyes.

Zora skin is thick.  They don’t get all puffy and red when they cry like we do.

She’s been crying.

Think, Link.  Don’t be dense.  She grabbed a big plate of food… because she thought food would help her feel better?  But then she was too upset to eat?  Sharoo and Seggin went over to her and were whispering.  They knew something was wrong.

She was fine.  Totally fine.  Happy!  Right before we came in here.  She was singing with the others in the storeroom.  She offered to dance with my silly sister.  What changed?  What-

.

Oh Link.

You. Idiot.

F@#* me.

No.

No, that can’t be it, can it?

Zelda flat out asked me to offer my arm.  And I did.  And then we talked about how much we liked each other’s eyes.

And I heard her, didn’t I?  I heard Mipha gasp.

It didn’t occur to me at the time that it could have anything to do with me.

Does she have feelings for me?  Have I been torturing her these past three days?!

.

Did mom drop a clue?  She said I’d appeal to a certain kind of older woman.  Was she only talking about creepy Madam Riecca?

Maybe not.  But Mipha’s nothing like that.  Not at all.  She’s never made me feel uncomfortable.  She confuses me sometimes…

Do I dare ask her?  Do I ask her if it’s me?  I don’t want to hurt her.

Top five favorite people: Zelda, Chee, Bazz, Mipha, and mom.  A few months ago, I’d’ve jumped at any chance to see Mipha again.  I missed her.

And she did jump.  As soon as I was hurt.  Just like mom and Chee, she came here as fast as she could.  No entourage, no fanfare, just her, Seggin, and Sharoo swimming the Hylia river to get to me as fast as possible.

I’m blind, aren’t I?

I shouldn’t’ve had to read her face to know it meant she loved me.

...New dance…

Keep going.  Zelda will know it doesn’t mean anything weird.

“Mipha?”

“Yes, Link.”

“Is it me?  Did I hurt your feelings?”

“L-Link.”

Her voice broke-

“I- that is- you- you’re in love with Princess Zelda, aren’t you?”

Oh. Goddess.

Lying would make this way worse.  You can’t.  “I am.”

All her chest muscles just crushed her in on herself.  Goddess forgive me.  Her and Zuho in the span of less than an hour.

Those hand gestures. When she squeezed her clasped hands against her stomach.  She WAS nervous.  Nervous about me.

“Mipha?”

“Y-y-yes, Link.”

“I am so, so, so sorry.  I… I had absolutely no idea.”

“I- I know.  I know you, Link.  Um.  May I ask…”

“…Anything.”

“Please.  Hh.  Please still… allow me to help you.  With Ruta.”

?!??!  “Mipha!  Mipha, my Goddess, it sounds like you think I don’t want you around.”

“Phh.  Phh.”

“You’ve been one of my best friends since I was four.  I’ve known you longer than my sister’s even been alive.  I DO love you.  It’s just… just-“

“Just not the way a husband loves his wife.”

“…No.”  What do I do?  What’s worse?  Do I squeeze her hand to comfort her?  Do I hold very still so I don’t torture her?  Do I tell her all the reasons she’s awesome?  Or do I keep my trap shut because I might make it seem like I’d change my mind?

Because there’s no doubt there.  I belong with Zelda.  Everything I am resonates with that.

“It’s… a good thing.”

Huh?!

“To have an answer.  Even if it’s not the one I’d hoped for.  I- I want you to know… I still mean what I said.  That if anyone tries to harm you, I will heal you.  That I’ll always protect you.  I will never forget the first time I healed you.  You looked at me with such awe.  I wish...”

Oh no.  No, no, no, Mipha.  “You think I’m any less in awe now?  I’m not.”

.

Finally, her eyes.  They are… very red.  She’s trying to smile at me.

“It’s because of your kindness, Link.  You’re the kindest person I’ve ever known.  I hope you know… that’s what makes you so wonderful.  It’s not your prowess in battle.  Not your speed, or strength, or your obsession with conquering every cliffside, no matter how slippery, eehee-”

“Pff.”  Yeah, she had to heal me a lot when I’d inevitably slip on those smooth stones.

“Nor is it the magic you possess. It’s your heart.  I’d have felt so special were I in yours.”

“Mipha, you ARE special-“

“I’m sorry.  That… that came out strangely.”

I know the feeling.

“I know my power is unique.  Very few Zora are born to it.  Even when they are, the gift has never been so powerful as mine in living memory.”

“Mipha, that’s not what makes you special, either.  You’re not my friend because you can heal my cuts and bruises.  That’s… that’s not really you.  Though I’ve wondered if your gift is so powerful because of how loving you are.”

“Phh.  Perhaps.”

“It’s you, Mipha, the person.  I enjoy spending my time with you.  Not with your magic.”

“…Thank you, Link.  But… I think, perhaps, there’s someone else you’d prefer to spend your time with right now.”

.

I have no words for this.

“The song is ending, Link.  Thank you for dancing with me.  And… for the truth.”

And she’s gone.  Back to the table with Seggin and Sharoo.

Link.  You have to give this some serious thought.  Is there anyone ELSE you’re torturing?

“Hey, Linky.”

…Please don’t tell me Purah’s in love with me, too.

“You look a little down.  You know what helps with that?”

“Um.”  Is there a right answer?

“Dancing with someone who’s actually fun.”

…Not cool, Purah.  Mipha’s plenty fun when she’s not crushed inside.

“Come on.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

Fine… I guess.  Looks like Zelda got nabbed by one of the Sheikah- or, maybe she nabbed him.  Looks like she’s talking nonstop.  I think I recognize him from the Breach excavation sites.  Lots of guardians buried in there.

“The song’s a little slappier than this, Link.”

Slappier?

“I guess you gave Mipha the bad news, huh?”

How’d she know?!

“Oh please.  It was obvious.  You’d know more things if you looked people in the eye more.”

“…That’s probably true.”

“Yep, it is.  So, tell me all about the sword.”

“There’s… not much to tell.  I didn’t know it could do anything other than be a sword until today.”

“I wonder if it really IS just today.  Been having any other weird, unexplainably strong feelings?”

Well… strong, yes.  Pretty sure they’re explainable, though.  I’m hoping to express some of them later.

“Hmm.  Head outta the gutter, Link.  I mean OTHER strong feelings.”

“…It’s hard to tell.”

“Think rrrreal good.”

“…I’ve been anxious an awful lot, even for me.  Ever since coming to the castle.  The island is like a pit of negative feelings.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  As soon as you cross the bridge into town it gets better.  Have you noticed it?”

“Linky Link, I haven’t noticed a darn thing.  Did you tell this to the Princess?”

“Uhhh.  I’m not sure.  It’s getting hard to separate what I thought around her and what I actually said.”

“Eeeesh.  Yeah, I can see that while the slate’s part of the equation.  So, like, you’re still anxious now?”

“Well… I mean there are degrees.  I’m pretty much always on high alert around people.  Most people, anyway.”

“But the island itself sets you off?”

“…Yeah, I think it does.  I’m always more relaxed when we leave.  Oh, except for the Breach of Demise.”

“Hmmm.”

“What?”

“I don’t know yet.  There sure is a lot of Sheikah stuff buried in both places, though.”

…There is, isn’t there?

…There’s that huge, awesome Sheikah ruin right beneath the castle.  They can’t excavate the whole thing without tearing the island and the castle itself apart, so they don’t know exactly what it is, and they haven’t found a way in.

Is the sword reacting to Sheikah tech?

“Rupee for your thoughts, Link.”

“I’m wondering about that huge building underneath us.”

“…Yeaaah.  Me too.  Too bad the sword doesn’t actually talk.  You know, with words.”

…Can I talk to it?  Ask?

Hey.  Um.  Sword?

.

Is there something wrong with this island?

.

.

“You’re sure concentrating hard.”

“Trying to, yeah.”

“Listening?”

“That and trying to talk back to it.”

“Neato.  Is it working?”

“Nope.”

“Hmph.  Try again.”

Maybe you can give me a signal?  Something I can feel?  Like… how Zelda thought you were tapping on her shoulder?

.

Can it hear me?

.

Maybe I have to try harder.  Like when I made that light come out of the training sword.  Somehow…

I focused everything I had into the sword.

What if I do that with this one?

I don’t want to make it shoot light, though.  I don’t want to hurt anyone.

Maybe I can sort of put all my confusion into it?  Concentrate it?

Questionquestionquestionquestionquestionquestionquestion-

?! “I just felt something.”

“What?!”

“Just… like an acknowledgement.  Like it responded to me.  That’s all.”

“At least we know it can hear you.”

“Yeah… I guess so.  I wonder… what else it can hear?”

“We gotta get that sword to the lab.  You think you and the Princess might be up for a visit tomorrow?”

“It’s up to her.  I… think it’s a good idea, but I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s what I’m for.  Well, me, Robbie, and the Princess.  She’s crazy-ass smart.”

“Heh.  Yeah… I know.”

“Yeaaah, I don’t know if you realize just how smart.  She crushes calculus like it’s a ten-piece kids’ puzzle.”

“What’s calculus?”

“Ohhh come on Link!!!”

“What?  I’m no scholar.”

“You’ve never even heard that word?”

“I don’t know, maybe?  Hey- what’s morphology?”

“OH pfff, ask her that.  She’ll turn all red.  It’ll be great.”

.

“It’s slowing.  I don’t know if this was much fun, but it was important. Thanks, Purah.”

“I’m glad it worked for you, ‘cuz you’re about to get snatched.”

Hm?  Oh, yup.  It’s time.  Chee’s hair is absolutely everywhere. I guarantee she doesn’t care one bit.

“Okay, Link!!!  It’s my turn!”

“Heh.  You got it.  Ohhh-“

“OOOOH, it’s a fast one!  Good, I didn’t wanna get stuck doing a boring slow dance with my brother.”

What’s she doing with her arms spread out like Rito wings?

Eh, I can’t blame her.  This is the first time she’s been to one of these things and unlike me, she wasn’t a wallflower at four others.

Alright.  Rito-wing-style it is.  Why not?

“Wanna gallop?”

“Not sure that’ll work, Chee—we’ll bump people.”

“Not if they get out of the way!!”

“Heh.  They might not.”

“Or they might, and then we’ll RULE the dance floor like you and the Princess did!”

“Chee- OOF!”  Crap crap crap slow her down a little- “Excuse us! Coming through! Er- pardon!”

“You all should try this too, it’s FUN!”

“HEAVENS!”

“Sorry!”  Oooh my little wackadoodle sister, how do I moderate you-ooo?!?!

There’s Robbie and his Gerudo partner again.  Mimicking us!

“If the floor is to be ruled, then I WILL be KING!”

“Prince Consort.”

“Fine, fine.  Minimize my role.”

“Hehehe, little Sheikah.  Know any good hiding places?”

…Should I warn her?

Don’t be a dick, Link.  Robbie’s an obvious weirdo.  If she likes him, she likes that.  He’s certainly not boring.

Oh.  There’s another pair.  Ewin and his wife from East Post.  Bernes’ commander.

“See, Link?  You’re such a square.  I’m the savvy one.”

“You’re sure good at getting what you want.”

“YES.  Lucky for you, I only use my powers for good.”

“…I’m not sure chaos is good.”

“It’s not chaos.  It’s not-conformingness.”

“That’s not a word.”

“Oh please, you make up words ALL THE TIME mister dumb joke person.”

“My jokes aren’t dumb.”  Yes they are.  Liar.

“Kppppht.”

A bunch more.  The floor’s dividing into scowlers and gallopers.

Jeralt’s got a huge grin on standing at the wall.

Zelda….?

Yeah, she’s in!  Ha!  Dancing with her father!  …I’d never have pegged him for this.  He looks like he’s enjoying it.  Though it’s hard to know if he really is or if he’s just sending a signal that our unconventional gallop-dance is acceptable.

“You ready for this, Link?”

“For what?”

“O-OH!  No fair, why’d the song get quieter?”

“The tempo’s the same.”

“But it feels all weird to gallop.”

“Well, what did you want to get ready for?”

“I was gonna jump and you were gonna catch me and spin me over your head.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“You sure are now.”

“No I’m not.”

“Either you catch me or you don’t and then I’ll be on the floor and get trampled, and then mom’ll be soooo mad at you.”

“If I spin you around, I’ll smash someone in the face with your feet!”

“They’ll totally see it coming, it’ll be fine.  We have to wait a sec, though.  The song’s definitely gonna turn dramatic again, and then I’ll leap.”

Frick.  Frick, she’s going to do it.  Maybe I can just keep good hold of her hands so she can’t succeed.

And if I do that, she’ll nail me right in the balls.

Not on purpose.

I think.

But that’s how her body will swing if I try to do that.

It’s not worth resisting.

Not that.

No way.

So.

Link.

Just… warn people.

It’ll… it’ll be fine.

You swung Rayan like a claymore.

You can swing your sister gently without causing bodily harm.

Get ready.

Ready.          

Ready.

Here it comes.

She’s right about the music-

AH!

Yes, non-violent swinging, feet just a little bit out-

“Link, this is NOT okay.”

“SPIN HER ALREADY!” 

Was that SEGGIN’s voice?!?!!!

“INDEED!” “No cuccoing out!” “You started it, man, FINISH IT!”

I didn’t start it, she did!

They cleared the space, okay, okay, fine, I’m spinning her, I’m spinning her, she’ll be way too dizzy when I put her down!

Okay, song drama down, put her down put her down OOOH she’s wobbling-

“Hehehehe-“

This is the rowdiest ball I’ve ever been to.

This is rowdier than the bailey!  At least the parts I was in.

Aaaand a bunch of people are galloping again to finish the song out.

“See, Link?  You’re a square like dad.  I have to keep you cool.”

“I’m not like father.”

“Oh yes you are.”

“Really not.”

“You just can’t see it ‘cuz he expects so much of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, he doesn’t think I’ll ever be awesome, so he lets me do what I want.”

!!!!!  “What?!”

“He’s all huffy with you so you’ll behave yourself, and then you make the mistake of actually doing it.  You’re still doing it even though he’s not here.”

“I…”

“You didn’t know?”

“I really… I… what?!  You’re awesome already!”

“Not like YOU.”

…Wow.  Wow.  Her face.  Her feelings are hurt. She's leaving the floor.

Why do I keep hurting people today?  The people I love most!  Well, except Zuho, I don’t really know him.  But Chee and Mipha.  I didn’t hurt mom, did I?  Did I?  Or Zelda?

Please tell me I didn’t.

And… I thought father going easy on Chee was a good thing.

I’m so confused.

The scowlers are returning to the dance floor.

Oh… and Mipha’s talking to Chee.  I think that’s good.  Maybe for both of them.

Seggin- HE’s not going to ask me to dance, is he?

“Sir. Link.  You have one mighty effect on those around you, don’t you?”

Apparently.

“…Thank you.”

???

“For being honest with Princess Mipha.”

Oh no.  Drama with Seggin, too?  The music is SO bouncy.  I’m living in some sort of comedy play or something where everyone yanks me around.  “I… didn’t know how she felt.”

“So it would seem.  ...Your Princess did.”

“…Really?”

“She knows more than she lets on, that one.”

…I’m not sure I like him referring to her as ‘that one.’

“Before she returns, I’m taking this chance to tell you that.  She… is a thinker and a calculator.  And it’s easy to see YOU are not.  Be aware, boy.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing that isn’t evident from my words.  Princess Zelda is not always honest.  That’s not to say she’s lied to you, but I know for certain she didn’t tell you the whole truth in this matter.  Whether there are others remains to be seen.”

Does he… mean well?  He’s seemed… he’s severe, but he’s a good person.  Cares about Mipha.

“It’s plain as a narwhale’s tooth you don’t know what to think about that.”

“I- I love her.”

Is that- one side of his mouth went squiggly.

“That much is clear.  Well.  MY Princess is otherwise engaged, and I’m not interested in dancing.  I’ll see you shortly.”

…Move, Link.  You’re in the way.  Maybe… maybe eat a few more of those sugared fruits.  They brought out some of those meaty rice balls at some point, too.  One of those would be good.

Mipha and Chee are dancing.  Seems like they’re having fun, at least.

It has been less than an hour.  LESS THAN AN HOUR.  Dinner’s not on the tables yet.  Why does the reality I live in seem to change wildly with each passing minute?

Speaking of reality-changing.  Zelda’s coming.  Looks happy.  Unfazed.

“Well.  It’s been something like eight turns since we’ve danced, Sir Link.  Would you like to at the next?”

.

Oh, oh no no no no her face is falling- “Sorry.  Sorry, it’s not you.  I’ve had a very… erm… bewildering half-hour.”  And there you go, Link.  Her hands folded between yours.

Doesn’t matter what Seggin thinks, does it?

Has she lied to you about anything?

For sure, she has, at least once.  That morning in Tabantha when she gave me the slip.

Has she since then?

Maybe.

Is there anything she hasn’t told you?

Definitely… Why she went to the excavation site.

Does it matter?

…No.  I’d like to know, but… I’m not going to ask.  If she didn’t tell me after the melee, there’s some reason she wants to keep it to herself.

“I can see you’re thinking heavy thoughts, Sir Knight.”

Oh.  I have never heard her say ‘Sir Knight’ like that.  Tremulous.  Worried. “I was, but… the next song’s about to start.  Come with me?”

Slipping her hand into the crook of my elbow.  A grateful smile.

Forget Seggin.  No one’s perfect.  I’m not going to hold it against her.

I’d much prefer to get lost in the rhythm and feel of her beneath me.

Beneath me.  Not how you usually imagine it, Link.  She… seems a little vulnerable right now.  And all it took was me not jumping to dance with her the instant she asked.  In this moment, all my ridiculous fantasies about her climbing on top of me seem selfish.  She… maybe she needs me to show her how I feel first.

Because she’s pulled me aside twice, but before then she was nervous.  It took me reaching out to pass that barrier.

Reach out, Link.

My hand on hers on my arm.

Let my love fill my chest to bursting.  Find her eyes and smile.

There she is.  Relieved.

“Shall- shall we keep this one easy?  It’s been a rather active dance floor.”

“Yeah.  Let’s do that.”

Her waist again.  No lower.  Her hand.  Rub it gently with yours.  A show of affection.  All the physical feelings can wait.

All the physical feelings.

You haven’t told her yet, Link.

She told me this morning.

…I’m… kind of an idiot.

Lean in, Link.  So she can definitely hear your quiet-voice.

“I love you, Zelda.”

So much movement on her face.  Like she felt a hundred emotions in the space of an instant.

“I love you, too, Link.  I… I rather thought… Hhh.  I’m not sure what I thought.”

“But I made you worried when I didn’t answer you right away.”

“…Yes.”

“I’m sorry.  Would you like to hear about the very strange time I had while we were apart?”

“Hehe.  Certainly.”

“Okay.  So, Mipha was acting funny.  She never ate her food.  I asked her to dance so I could talk to her alone.  I’m not really sure how I managed to figure this out on my own, because I’m not all that smart-“

“Yes you are.”

“Well… either way, I realized she got upset because SHE realized we were a thing.”

“…Oh.”

“Yeah.  So, I checked with her to make sure I was right, and I was, and then I had to tell her I didn’t feel the same way, and then she got upset but she also said it was better that she knew the truth.”

“Oh no.  Link, I found out yesterday morning.  I- I suppose I should have told you last night.  I just… rather felt she ought to be the one to do so.”

Take that, Seggin. “Don’t worry about it.  It’s not as if my feelings would be any different if you had.”

“I can’t say I blame you for being subdued.”

“Oh ho, wait for it.  That’s not all.”

“Oh?”

“So then I danced with Purah.  She and I realized that the sword might also be telling me there’s something bad on this island in general.”

“OH?!”

“And if you’re up for it, she wants to take a look at the sword at the royal lab tomorrow.”

“Yes, yes of course!”

“Great.  AND then Chee came over-“

“Heh, yes, I believe we were all privy to that.”

“Well, not all of it.  It turns out she’s secretly jealous of me because my father expects great things of me but not her.”

“…That… that... in all the green fields…”

“I was surprised.”

“…In a way, I believe I feel sorry for your father.  It seems he can do nothing right where his children are concerned.”

“Maybe there’s no such thing as doing it completely right.  Everyone’s going to mess up somewhere.”

“What of your mother?  She seems beyond reproach.”

“Are you kidding?  She lets her kids stuff massive amounts of butter in their soup.”

“Hahaha, of all possible flaws, that one to me seems inconsequential.”

“Tell that to me and Chee when we’re old and fat.”

“Hmm hmm.  Well, Sir Link.  Does that about cover it?”

There is one more thing.  But she hit on it herself.  So… I’m calling it finished.  “Yeah, pretty much.”

“There ought to be a few more dances after this one.  Would you like to stay on the floor with me?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“Hehee.”

“Hh hh- what?”

“A few minutes ago, you called me by my name, and it ought to be clear to everyone by now that we are- ah- official.”

“Weeeell, that doesn’t mean they expect me to drop your title.  After all, you might get sick of me and move on.”

“I shan’t.”

“I hope not.  But… I won’t hold you to it, Princess.”

“…Sir Link.  Were we not in the middle of this crowd I would kiss you soundly.”

“Why?”  …Apart from the obvious.

“For your extraordinary heart.  It is even greater than your skill with the sword.”

“Hph.”

“What is it?”

“Mipha said almost exactly the same thing.”

“She’s right.  I… am extremely fortunate.  For of the two of us, Mipha is the gentler spirit.  More deserving of your affection, I think.”

“Princess!”

“No, it’s true.  I’ve seen, Link, how you hold me in such high esteem.  I’m afraid I do not live up to it.”

“You do.”

“Goodness, Link.  I am not without my flaws.”

“Neither am I.”

“One of yours, perhaps, may be an unwillingness to see mine.”

“…Remember how you said later, you’d point out what you liked about all my features?”

“I do.”

“I’ll point out what I like about your personality.”

“You may get some things wrong.”

“Feel free to correct me, but I reserve the right to give a counter-argument.”

“Hm.  Hm hmm.  Very well.  You may try.”

“That’s all I ask.”  Oh- next song.  Very light.

“Now, Sir Knight.”

Yes?

“Might I suggest we brainstorm methods of attaining privacy?”

“Oh. Oh yes, please.  I don’t have any ideas yet.”

“We likely have a mere ten minutes before dinner.”

“Let’s use them.”

Think, Link.  Think at breakneck speed!  So help me, I’ll find a way to be alone with her tonight if it kills me.  Or maybe, more realistically, she will.  She’s a lot smarter than me, after all.

_____

[Note: This chapter was written to a playlist to keep the timing realistic. Unlike the first part of the ball, much of it is not line=measure, and that's because Link is concentrating less on the music and dancing and more on his conversations with the people. But the timing of how long things take still matches up to the playlist (at least, when I read it as I imagine the characters' voices). Most of the playlist for this part was music from the Chrono Cross soundtrack! I wasn't all that worried about it actually sounding like ballroom dancing--just the timing and the mood to be what I thought Zuho would go for. The first four tracks are Termina (Home), Another Termina, Magical Dreamers, and Galdorb (Home). THEN we have Chee's dance, and that was "Vamo' Alla Flamenco" from the FF Distant Worlds album (it was perfect for her rambunctiousness). Then is the "Horse Race" music from BotW providing some fun juxtaposition during Link's conversation with Seggin (for me anyway, I feel kind of bad you couldn't hear it), and finally back to the Chrono Cross soundtrack with Voyage (Home) for the return to dancing with Zelda. They do two more longish dances after that but it's brainstorming time, which I didn't include.]

Read Next: She's your sister and you missed her.

Read this fanfic from the beginning (it makes more sense that way).

Follow this link for the post list for this fic.

[dantevhell]

what are your top 5 insane amphibia episodes :o

Oooh thats a though question bc I never thought abt it. But well let's go!

Warning: this will be a big ass answer sor- SIKE I HAVE NO REGRETS!!

5 - BATTLE OF THE BANDS - ok it was a simple somewhat fluff somewhat angsty amphibia ep a really calm b4 the storm kinda of thing but made it was well made! Observing sasha's more profund mentality of "I need control, they won't want me if I am not in control, they won't need me if I am not in control" towards her girls and realizing that deep down all that she wants is for her girls to be happy, for them to succeed, God that was heartwarming. Toadie was the perfect and most unexpected character to teach her that but hey it was welcome!

This two pictures here made me insane.

JUST LOOK HOW LOVEY DOVEY SASHA IS LOOKING AT MARCANNE I WILL COMBUST AND-

4 - BARREL'S WARHAMMER - I remember being genuinely SICK genuinely CRAZY genuinely DEPRESSED after this ep bc I never related to sasha so hard b4 and my kin on her only intensified on this ep! Seeing and confirming that sasha was insecure abt being left out of marcanne's life and feeling like she needs to have control for them to want her oh boy that was delicious and what a ep to make the fandom crazy with metas!! Seeing sasha beggining to realize that her actions were what was leading for the others to abandon her and she's the only to blame for her decisions.... only for her to fall into that trap of self destructive behavior MAN that sure was something that changed my brain chemicals HELL YEAH!!

3 - THE THIRD TEMPLE - I was really excited for that ep bc we would not only get the girls SOOO waited reunion in amphibia after 2 YEARS but also we would gain a flashback when their first meet so i remember I spend the entire week only thinking about it! I really wanted to see how their dynamic would work as a trio and I was really excited to see if my predictions were correct (they were!). The tension of sasha and anne unresolved conflict and their long waited 2nd reunion, marcy finally encountering sasha after months without seeing each other, sasha and anne being unaware of marcy's plans with the king, MAN, THE TENSION WAS PALPABLE!

Also seeing sasha showing regret over her past actions with anne but unable to stop her already on motion plans was sure a good angst hoooho boy!

2 - ALL IN - it was way more that I expected it to be! Anne's speech about her how she didnt loved herself, her fight with andrias and sasha's fight with darcy, andrias reading leif's letter, andrias and marcy flashback, marcy escaping her dreamscape!!! WOOF THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS REAAAALLY WELL ELABORATED!

I think if the story ended there and we didn't had that stupid "suddenly the moon is the enemy bc the prophecy is too literal" plot and we just skipped to them saying goodbye and having the timeskip I would have been happier but that's content for aaaaanother post.....

1 - TRUE COLORS - hands down the amphibia ep that made me the most INSANE AND MENTALLY ILL. Nothing will top true colors for me bc I spent months making theories with my friends only for it to be almost all throw away and the plot twists blow my mind! I genuinely didn't see marcy's reveal coming or her agreement with the king being going to other worlds so jesus! What a time! Marcy's speech was really impactful, andrias revealing his "true colors" was satisfactory in a way that was really anger inducing, sasha fight with anne and the begging of her redemption arc was soooo cool to watch and the animation in Anne's calamity form !! Wooooo I genuinely didn't know how to react after this ep I was feeling anesthetized a good few days!

[songficsbyrissi]

This X-Mas (Spooky X Reader)

“'Cause this Christmas, will be the Greatest time of your life from me I ain't asking for the diamond rings I ain't really got a list of expensive things I just want you to myself while the children sleeps Santa baby, would you make a little time for me?” - Chris Brown feat. Ella Mai

A/N: hey y’all! I know I kinda abandoned you but being in College during a panoramic (Twitter joke) but I finished! I graduated undergrad so it’s lit! Even tho I don’t really care for Christmas or the holidays and I dislike Christmas music, I love this song and since it’s been a while, I might as well give y’all a Christmas gift soooo Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁❤️

************

You were not a fan of the holidays.

It’s not like you never were. You used to be but as you grew up, you grew a disdain for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years', all that.

The most wonderful time of the year, your ass.

From November 1st up until January 2nd, every year, you were annoyed and couldn’t wait for this time of the year to be over. You didn’t like it and if you had to hear “All I Want from Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey one more fucking time, someone was gonna get kicked where they’re more jolly.

You were relaxing on the couch when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You announced you were coming and opened the door to 3 boys by the names of Cesar, Jamal, and Ruby.

“Hey, boys! What brings-“

“BATHROOM!” Jamal ran past you and straight to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Ruby shook his head and Cesar gave a nervous laugh.

“Would you believe we were just in the neighborhood?”

You pursed your lips. “Nope.”

Ruby sighed out of frustration. “We need help getting Christmas gifts for our.....” He swallowed hard. You closed your eyes.

“You’re still struggling to call Jasmine your girlfriend?”

“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” You waved him off and right then, Jamal stepped out the bathroom, relieved.

“Whew, my bladder was full! Where you get that hand soap, Y/N?! Smells lovely!”

You rolled your eyes, irritated. “At Bath and Body Works where y’all should get gifts for your girlfriends.” You narrowed your eyes at Ruby, who shuddered at the G-word. “Now if you excuse me, I was enjoying my alone time.”

Cesar stopped the door from closing. “Wait. Didn’t you say you were leaving today to go spend Christmas with your family?”

Shit. “Uh yeah. Duh. I needed alone time before I left.”

“I don’t see any bags packed.” Ruby indicated, skeptical.

“Or an airline ticket on the desk. Yeah, I noticed!” Jamal added, folding his arms.

You looked at the 3 teenage boys who were waiting for you to confess. You sighed deeply, knowing the jig is up.

“Fine, 3 wise men!” You stated with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “I’m not going home. I never was going home. The reason why is because I don’t care for the holidays. I stopped a long time ago. It’s never been special to me. Also, I don’t have a close-knit family. Actually, we’re dysfunctional as hell. This isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for me. I lied so you guys wouldn’t know the truth, now are you happy?”

Jamal had a dismal expression on his face and pulled you to his chest. “Now I see what the Scrooge looks like as a black woman.”

You pushed him off and Cesar grabbed your wrist before you could hit him.

“Does Spooky know?”

You shook your head. “Nope and it’s gonna stay that way. I mean it, Cesar. Don’t say shit to your brother about this.”

Were you really depending on the little brother of your gang member friend that’s not really a friend but he’s kind of your boo to keep his mouth shut?

“Cesar told me you lied.” That was what Spooky said when you opened the door the next morning which was Christmas. You sucked your teeth loudly, disappointed that your dumbass trusted a 15-year-old who feared his brother.

“I should really kick your brother’s ass.”

He smirked at your comment. “Talk to me, Mami. Why you not fucking with Christmas?”

You left the door, letting him outside and he closed the door behind him. “Because it’s annoying as hell.”

“Nah, that ain’t it.”

You turned to Spooky with your arms folded. “Why do you even care, Oscar? It’s not like your thug ass cares for holidays and shit.”

Spooky remained unfazed by your attitude and you calling him by his government. When you first met him, he would be pissed at that. Even tried scaring you but it didn’t work. Eventually, he got used to it and only allowed you to call him Oscar.

“You’re wrong and I’ll show you. Get dressed.”

You were feeling dangerous. “And what if I don’t?” You responded with a roll of the neck.

Spooky let a dry laugh that scared you yet turned you on at the same time. Damn. You started to bite your lip then pulled it back. He got dangerously close and stared you down.

“Do you really wanna know, Princesa?”

Yes. No. Shit.

You got out of his face and got dressed as you were told. You’ll let him win this round. You got into his car and he drove back to his house where Cesar and his girlfriend Monse were making a mess in the kitchen.

“Hey Y/N!” Monse greeted you. Cesar looked at you nervously.

“Hey Y/N, how’s-“

You held your hand up. “Save it, snitch!”

“He forced it out of me!” The young boy pleaded and you rolled your eyes in response.

“Whatever. What are y’all even doing?” You asked, confused and disgusted by the sight of the kitchen and glancing at Spooky’s face, he was not too pleased either.

“Trying to do a Christmas brunch but somebody doesn’t wanna listen to the instructions.” Monse gestured towards her boyfriend with a roll of her neck, causing Cesar to groan.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the two. “Alright lemme help so I can fix this. You!” You gestured towards Spooky. “You’re helping too!”

“Nahhhh cooking ain’t my thing.”

“Well Christmas ain’t my thing but I’m here. Now throw on an apron, cholo. You’re on bacon duty!”

You couldn’t lie. Making Christmas brunch with the kids was fun as hell. You found yourself smiling and giggling during the cooking and eating. You even caught Spooky staring at you a couple of times. You pecked his lips just because he looked so adorable but if you told him that, he’ll turn into a jackass. When the boys left to get something from God knows where you were left alone with Monse. You didn’t know too much about the girl but figured you could get to know her more.

“So Monse...you’re spending Christmas with your boyfriend.”

“So are you.”

Your eyes narrowed at her response. “1. Spooky is not my boyfriend and 2. I was forced here. Christmas is bullshit.”

“I love Christmas. Even though I don’t remember the last time I actually spent it with my dad.” Monse shrugged bending over and fix her shoelaces. That caught your attention.

“Wait, you’ve had shitty Christmases and you still love Christmas?!”

She shrugged again. “Well yeah. My dad is always away for Christmas and I don’t have my mom so I’ve always dreamt of doing Christmas stuff with the people I love. When I met the boys, not to sound corny but my dreams came true. Another reason why I need to keep the group together.”

You were lost for words. “Wow, I’m sorry, Monse.”

“It’s ok. Hey, I think I hear the boys coming back.”

The boys revealed themselves and Cesar announced that you guys were being invited to have Christmas dinner with Jamal’s family which was great because you didn’t want to cook.

“I’m telling you marmalade is better than jelly. I don’t wanna hear it!” Jamal declared during dinner. A debate broke out between marmalade and jelly which really entertained you. Jamal’s family was funny and so welcoming to you, a stranger. It felt weird to you that they were showing so much love to you, a stranger. Oscar held your hand throughout the whole dinner which did something to your stomach. You don’t wanna say butterflies. Maybe it’s gas.

When the group stopped by Ruby’s house to pick him up for “friendsmas”, his grandma pulled you aside with a serious look on her face.

“Open your heart, mama.”

You gave her a confused look. “What?”

“You closed your heart. Open it. Even if it’s to Papi Chulo over there. “ she gestured towards Oscar who was lighting up a cigarette and looked back at you. “Open it to Christmas. To any holiday. Just....open it.”

You kept that in mind as you went with the others back to the house for the kids to engage in their “friendsmas”.

“I’ve never heard “Friendsmas.” You muttered as Spooky handed you a glass of wine and you watched the kids from the doorway.

Oscar shrugged taking a swig of his Corona. “Well you hate Christmas so I’m not surprised.”

You elbowed him in his side and he began to laugh in response. “I don’t hate Christmas. I just never found joy in the holidays but now I do.” You looked at him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you. Thank you for making this Christmas special for me.”

Oscar began to grin and pulled something from behind his back. “It’s not over yet, hyna.”

You gazed at the blue velvet rectangular box and opened it slowly to reveal a silver chain that said “Oscar” You looked up at him, speechless.

“Spooky, I....I.....”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just put on my necklace and be mine.” The gangsta in front of you took a deep breath. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your eyes were as big as saucers. “You....you do?”

“Yes, girl he do! It was so obvious!” Jasmine’s voice broke through the moment and everyone glared at her. Her mouth formed an O. “Oooh sorry! I forgot we were supposed to be acting like we weren’t paying attention. My bad!”

You shook your head and felt a surge of love and confidence. You loved this man. You have for a long time but never admitted it because...your heart was closed. Damn. Ruby’s crazy grandma ain’t so crazy after all.

“I love you too, Oscar.” You pulled him in for a long passionate kiss and the crew clapped in excitement.

“Girl put your back in it! You’re under the mistletoe!” Jasmine yelled again.

Ruby started. “Jasmine-“

“Shut up and kiss me!” She grabbed him by his collar, planting a kiss on his lips.

When you finally pulled away from your kiss with Spooky, you smiled up at him and his expression was matching yours. You spoke up through your grin:

“I’ll be damned. It is the most wonderful time of the year.”

A/N: Cheesy as fuckkkkk I know but Christmas is all about the cheese if we’re gonna be honest. I hope you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, y’all! ❤️🎄🎁

Tags: @karmawaelualani @chaneajoyyy @ctrlszn @witchything @sabrinafey @penguinpower17889 @robingreysantos @namjoonwatcheshentai @pananegra @bloatedandlonly @blackmissfrizzle @chonisberonica @flamingweasley @cynthetic @momobaby227 @this-glitter-pussay​ @beyondprincess​ @joyrivh​

[wildrollins]

Out those 3 who’s ass would you want to fuck first second and last but not least?

oooh this is so hard😩

1st is Theory. He just does something to me and as we know likes butt stuff lol😈

2nd is Ricochet…. with an ass like that who could resist haha I know those backshots sound crazy

3rd is my baby MJF aka the hottest wrestler in AEW (besides Ricky Starks lol) his attitude alone would make me want to hate fuck him so hard😂 I would literally take a bite out of his ass lol

[koushisun]

what kind of wedding would they have? bnha boys edition!

a/n: (i totally posted this before i was done writing it i am,,, dumb)  i didn’t end up doing all the boys, just the ones i had strong ideas for, sorry about that! if y’all want more detailed hc’s for any of these characters, or even ones i didn’t do here, just shoot me an ask! (i’ll probably make a pt. 2 with the girls!)

p.s. i haven’t read the manga, so all of my characterizations are based on the anime!

BAKUGOU: while i think that bakugou would want a fairly grand wedding, i think that the guest list would be somewhat exclusive. he would probably invite his close friends, maybe even all of 1-A, but don’t expect too many people. he does want everything to be perfect, though! may seem a little uninterested in wedding planning at first, but if you even DARE mention hiring a wedding planner? well, just give him your ideas and he’ll get ‘em done lol

MIDORIYA: he would have a pretty classic wedding! i think he would want a smaller guest list as well, though maybe not as exclusive as bakugou’s. would definitely invite all of class 1-A! would probably be at like, a church or smth, though if his s/o didn’t want that he would probably have an outdoor wedding (probably a beach wedding!) the reception is pretty chill, this i can def see being outside! 

TODOROKI: oooh big fancy wedding!! (it’s a perfect excuse to spend his dad’s money sjksjkskl) anyways, he would probably have a big indoor wedding, maybe at a church if that’s what his s/o wanted. i could see his dad being pretty adamant about inviting a lot of people, but i think shouto would win out, ending up with a medium-sized guest list. reception is also indoors, 

KIRISHIMA: he wants to have a classic wedding, he’s somewhat old fashioned, but will go with what his s/o wants! the wedding itself may be pretty classic and chill, but i think the reception is where his planning really gets to shine! he’ll probably talk bakugou and the others into playing at least one song for the reception, he thought it would be a fun time 🥺

KAMINARI: ooh a big flashy wedding!! not super fancy per say, but just a lot of fun!! the reception is literally a giant party, he got a live band and everything! may or may not use his quirk intermittently to make cool effects lmao

SERO: probably a pretty lowkey wedding, at least that’s what he was hoping for. (i believe in latin king sero so get ready) ends up having a TON of people there, like, half of these people he hasn’t even met in person before lmaooo it’s all just extended family (aunts, uncles, 2nd and 3rd cousins, friends of those 3rd cousins, etc) on the up side, there are a lot of wedding gifts lmaooo anyways, its probably in a church or smth. the reception tho? you’re not even ready!!!! so much food, like literally so much food. tamales, empanadas, rice, beans, ceviche, you name it and it’s there! lots of music and dancing for sure! overall, it’s just really lively!!

IIDA: ooh a super traditional wedding for sure! he would want things to be very formal, though he might be convinced to loosen up a bit at the reception! wedding would probs be in a church or another equally fancy/proper space. has a medium/large guest list, mostly family and friends. 

TOKOYAMI: small wedding, maybe outside? not a beach wedding tho, more like a small clearing in the woods. reception is pretty chill, lots of cool music! not overly formal but still makes sure the focus is celebrating the wedding

AOYAMA: LITERALLY THE BIGGEST WEDDING EVER!!! i mean, just let your imagination run wild here lmao it’s just so fancy (probably lots of glitter at the reception too)

MIRIO: probably wants a big wedding, though it doesn’t need to be particularly fancy. if that’s what his s/o wants, then he’s willing to go all out, but as long as the actual marriage happens, he’s happy :) will invite tons of people though, so be ready.

TAMAKI: a very small wedding, for sure! i mean, we all know how nervous he gets! would invite his close friends and family, and would really want you to take your rsvp seriously (he won’t mind if you forgot to, but it will make him feel a whole lot better to know exactly who is going to be there) he probably doesn’t want a crazy reception, but he is most certainly looking forward to the wedding cake!

a/n: ok i think that’s it for now!!!! i just realized this is the first bnha thing i’m posting, so i hope its good lmao remember, requests are OPEN! (pls i’m so bored pls give me something to do)

[itadori-san]

oooh you're playing the game too 👀 well desktop hates me but ✨my gif and gfx tags are on my blog desc so i hope that's easy to find 👉🏼👈🏼

hello miss chey <3333 i hope you're well :) and it's not a problem! i can find them hehe

where do we even begin with my favourite cc shjdhs hmmm

[ 1 ] top 10 songs of 2020 - the top place is always subject to change and this is my favourite for now!! i love the masking ;-; i don't even know how to do that, and you're a literal god when it comes to doing things like this, it blows my mind everytime!! also i like how the set is nice and purple, matching your current theme, i feel as tho it'll act as a reminder later on in the future of the theme you had hskhdsk

[ 2 ] cold woozi making hearts melt - it hasn't been very long since this set was made but i can literally write an essay on why this deserves 2nd place. the colouring in itself looks very cozy and pretty, i love his lips!! i'm a sucker for smooth gifs, so this one's right up my alley. plus he's just too cute to handle.

[ 3 ] the8 // 本 - recoloured - two things i love: green, minghao. this passed the test hsjhdja i love this edit! the colouring is natural and pretty, and hao gives me major earthbender vibes which i am literally going crazy over!!!

[ 4 ] click and drag: ymmd - granted it did make my eyes feel real weird for a while, i love the idea of this hdkhss i can also feel the effort it must have taken to make all of it,, and i literally salute you for that! this idea is very creative, i love it! (idk if it's done before, but this is my first time ever coming across one!)

[ 5 ] l&r lockscreen: hoshi - thank you or reminding my bias is soonyoung (half the content on my blog is literally just jeonghan shjfjhds) this is the first time i came across them, and am very tempted to use them ngl they're very pretty and i can imagine the effort it must have taken to make them all!!

[fantasykidofkpop]

My Super Girlfriend pt 1

Nct Taeil x reader (ft. Johnny)

Nerd! Artist!Taeil x Super!reader

Superhero au Strong Woman Do Bongsoon au

Description: Every superhero saves the day and rescues a girl. But what if a girl with super inhuman abilities, saves the day and rescues her nerdy lover.

Quote: With great power, comes great responsibility

Taeil asks himself everyday whenever he comes home from his date

"How did I, a low life, an outcast, a nerd, get the most adorable and the most beautiful girl in all of Seoul."

Taeil and Y/N were together ever since senior year of High School

You been together for 3 years and Taeil could have been any happier with his lovely girl

But was he didn't know.... that his girlfriend has a secret

3 years ago, senior year, in high school

Taeil was always getting picked on and was always the bully's target

Especially, for Johnny Seo, the school's heartthrob, captain of the basket ball team

Johnny and some of his team members (Taeyong, Jaehyun and Ten) would always pick on Taeil and sometimes beat the crap out of him if he didn't or refuses to do their assignments

Taeil sometimes come home with bruises, a black eye and a busted lip

Whenever his parents ask about his wounds, he would lie by saying

"Oh, I bumped into a lamp post" "I tripped on the side walk" etc

Taeil knew if he told his parents, they would have move and transfer him to a different school

He wanted to stay, only to study Art

Sometimes, at night, he lays on his bed, stares at the ceiling, and wishes for tomorrow to be better day

"Please, let tomorrow be a brand new day"

The moment he fell into deep slumber

His wish came true

The next day, this morning was the same

Taeil walked to his locker, when he opened it, fake spiders came out of his locker

Even though they're fake, but he has a phobia of spiders

Taeil shrieks

Loud laughter came from behind

Johnny and friends were laughing really hard

Everyone laughed with them

"Same old scared little Taeil" Johnny says

"Oh wait, he's still little!" Ten shouts

Everyone laughs while Taeil looks at his feet in embarrasment

"See you later Short Stack!" Johnny yells and high fives his friends and leaves

I knew it, he thought

"Hey bro, you okay?" His bestfriend Mark asks while helping him

Him and Mark have been best friends since the were in middle school

"Yeah, I'm fine" he says

They both walk to their first period class

"Hey I heard there is a new student coming to our school" Mark points out

"Oh really?" Taeil asks

"Yeah, they say the new student is a girl, but I havent seen her yet"

"Oh okay" he says a little nervously

"I hope she'll treat you right" Mark reasures

They both entered the class and sat down in their assigned seats

While everyone was waiting for the teacher, Taeil kept thinking about what the new student would be like

His thoughts were interrupted by the teacher mr. Choi (SuJu Choi Siwon)

"Good morning class, before we begin our lesson, we have a new student joining us today, she new around her, make her feel welcome." He say while pointing at all of us

Mr.Choi gestures the new student to come in

The moment she walked in, Taeil's world stopped

His eyes widen and mouth parted in awe

Everything was in slow motion

Your hair flow a little behind and the sun reflected your soft hair

There stood before him, was a smiling beauty

You looked ethereal to him, like aphrodite the goddess of love and beauty

Taeil's heart beated fast like it was going to burst out of his chest by now

Mr.Choi gestures you to introduce herself

"Annyonghasaeyo, my name is Dong Y/n, im from Shanghai, China, please take care of me." You smile brightly showing your pearly whites

Your voice, was so beautiful, sounded like an angel's voice and it felt smooth like whipped cream

All of the guys were swoon by your smile

While some of the girls were jealous of your beauty and your figure

Taeil was lost in his thoughts that he didn't noticed that he called by the teacher

He got startled by his yell

"I said, Taeil raise your hand" Mr.Choi says sternly

He shakely raise his hand

When your meet his, you gave him another beautiful smile

His heart was beating at a fast rate when you came towards him

When you sat down next to him, Taeil was freaking out on the inside

"Hello, Taeil" you smiled at him and took your hand for him to shake

He froze again and came back to reality when you greeted him

"H-h-hi" he says while timidly taking his hand out to shake your hand

"H-how do you know my name?" He says shyly and awkwardly

His heart flutterd when he heard your giggle

"The teacher called on you, silly" you said while giggling

His cheeks started to heat up and looked away in embarassment

Through out the class period, Taeil could hardly pay attention to the lesson

He couldn't help but stare at your face

You have flawless skin, cute button nose, soft rosy cheeks, pink plump lips

And MOST of all, your big bright blue eyes

Honestly for Taeil, he's never seen anyone with bright blue eyes before

Blue is actually his favorite color

He uses blue colors for when he's painting the ocean or a lake

Yours eyes were like the color of the ocean

They reminded him of his paintings of the ocean

He was so lost in your beauty, that the bell rang, ending first period

"Dude, class ended, didn't you hear the bell?" Mark calls out

Taeil came back to reality "h-huh what?"

"Are you okay, your face is really red and are you sweating?" Mark asks

He checks himself, and starts feeling embarased

"It's just so hot in this room" he lies

"You sure it was from Y/N?" Mark says with a smirk

"I don't know what you mean, lets go!" He says quickly

And speed walks out of the classroom

2nd period, Taeil's scariest period

PE

Exercising is not the problem

His worst nightmare has the same class with him

JOHNNY SUH

Its scary when Mark doesn't have 2nd period with Taeil

Everyone was already dressed in their gym wear and so is Taeil

While everyone was stretching and waiting for the teacher

The girl's dressing room door opens

Taeil looks up and his eyes widens and his jaw drops in awe

You looked so stunning in your black sports bra and sweats

You such an amazing hourglass body

All of the boys were drooling, especially Johnny and his friends

Taeil couldn't look away, its like he was hypnotized by your body

When your eyes meet his, you smiled sweetly and started walking towards him

The way your ponytail bounced

The way your hips swayed

It was driving him crazy

Taeil suddenly felt himself being pushed to the ground

"Out of my way!" Johnny yells

Yup, he pushed him 😑

"Hey, beautiful, we haven't been properly introduced, the names Johnny" he says with a flirty smile and kisses your hand

Taeil felt anger and jealousy rushing through his body

"Nice to meet you too, Johnny" you said in a gentle voice ignoring his flirting

"What should I call you, Im guessing your name is gorgeous goddess?" He flirts again

"Thanks for the compliment, the names Y/N Dong Y/N"

"Wait, Dong Y/N, like as in, Dong Sicheng?" Johnny asks in a surprised voice

"Yes, he's my little brother" you said with a small smile

Everyone especially Taeil were shocked

Nobody knew that Dong Sicheng

A.K.A. Winwin, Student Council President

Has an older sister

"Anyway, there are a bunch of nut jobs in this school, especially him" he points at Taeil

"But don't worry, I'll always be there to protect you, sweet heart" he winks

He looks down and waits for you to laugh at Johnny's insult

"I don't think so, he seems sweet" you said the honest truth

That made Taeil go red as a tomato

Jaehyun, Taeyong and Ten snickered

Johnny scoffs

"Yeah, right. Well anyway, beautiful, if you want or need after school physical education, come to me. I promise to keep that gorgeous body in shape" he says by using his hands to motion your body

"Ok, I'll think about it" you said with a gentle smile

Before Johnny could speak, PE teacher mr.Lee (Lee Dong-hae SuJu) came in and blew his whistle

"Alright everyone, today is Friday, I have a surprise in store for you guys" he smirks

Taeil was not liking this feeling

"Today, were doing, drum roll please" he points at Ten

Ten pats the bleacher to resemble a drum

"Wrestling!" He shouts

Everybody were shouting in excitement, especially Johnny and his friends

Taeil felt he's going to pee himself any second now

"Alright, who wants to go?" He's says in anticipation

"Me mr.Lee!" Johnny shouts

"Yes, my tall handsome star student, get up here!" He smiles

He runs up to the center onto the gymnastic matt

"Pick your opponent"

He playfully looks around and spots Taeil

Johnny evilly smirks and points at him

"Moon Taeil !"

Taeil was beyond mortified

Everyone ooohed and silently laughs, except you

He shakely stands up and walks to the center

"You can do this Taeil !" You shouted

Taeil felt his fear wash away from your cheers

Until

Whistle blows

Taeil gets punched in the stomach

"One point to Johnny!" Mr.Lee shouts

Everyone except you claps

"Round 2!"

Taeil tries to push Johnny down, but he wasn't strong enough

Johnny and the students started laughing at his lack of strength

You, on the other hand, were cheering for Taeil

"Come on Taeil, you can do it!"

Taeil was suddenly punched in the face and got kneed in the stomach

He fell to the ground, breathing heavily

"Winner! Johnny" mr.Lee shouts and raises Johnny's arm

Everyone claps and chants out Johnny's name

You ran to Taeil and helped him up

"Are you okay?" You asked softly

He looks up and sees your beautiful face

"Am I in Heaven?" He asks almost in a conscious state

"No, your on the floor, lets get you back on the bleachers, silly" you said while giggling

You helped him back on the bleachers

"Who wants to go up against, Johnny?" Mr.Lee asks in anticipation

Nobody answers until...

"I will !" You shouted and raised your hand

Everyone, including the coach, Johnny and Taeil gasped

"W-w-well a-are you sure?" Coach asks

You nodded while gently smiling

You walk up to the center and stood 2 feet in front of Johnny

Taeil was really worried, if you get hurt, it felt like it be his fault for putting yourself on his spot

"Ready!" Blows the whistle

"I'll take it easy on you, beautiful" he says with a flirty smile and winks

Before he finish his sentence

In a blink of an eye

You got him in a choke hold and took him down with a loud thud

Everyone was shooked, including Taeil and coach

"How did she do that!" He thought

"Uh-uh one point to Y/N" coach stutters

Before Taeil could process anything, he saw something really strange

Your eyes

They were blue earlier, but when you took down Johnny, your eye color turned RED

And he had no idea that a sweet and innocent girl like you

Be that strong to take down a 6 foot tall basket ball player

"Final round!" Blows whistle

Johnny strikes a punch

But, you dodged his punch and swiftly flipped over Johnny

Everyone's jaws dropped and eyes widened

Nobody has ever beaten Johnny at wrestling

Not even his team mates

Nobody, except Taeil, notice your eyes change back to their original color

"What is she?!" He screams internally

You looked at everyone with an innocent look

"Um, did I go too far?" You asked in a small gentle voice

Everyone jumps out of there seats and claps while cheering you

Taeil, couldn't process what just happened and just stared at you in amazement

Johnny, on the other hand, couldn't believe what just happened

He sits up looks at you in shock

A girl, a beautiful, innocent girl, just took down a 9 time basket ball champion

His teams mates helped him up

"Bro, that was INSANE!" Ten exclaims

"She must've worked a lot" Jaehyun guesses

"Yeah, but I gotta admit, that's MY kind of woman" Johnny looks at you with a smirk while wipping the sweat off him

You thanked everyone for giving you compliments, then coach blew his and told everyone sit back down

Everyone had 10 minutes left of class, so coach Lee let everyone have free time

Taeil calms himself down and drinks his bottle of water

"Taeil !" You called him

He looks up and sees you jogging up to him with a gentle smile

He was infactuated by you

They way your hair moves when you jog

Sweat dripping

Then his eyes accidentally when down your chest

The way your breast bounce lightly

To be honest, for Taeil, you breast were like the perfect size

Like they were sculpted, like the greek goddesses

He hasn't realize that you're in front of him and he's beet red

"Hey Taeil, are you alright ?" You asked worriedly

"I think I'm in love" he says faintly

"What?" You asked

He broke out of his thoughts, and looks at you and starts stuttering

"Oh uh, I mean that, I think I'm in love with your fighting techniques?" He lies

You giggled

"Thank you," you said with a smile

"How did you do that, no one has ever beaten Johnny at wrestling" he asks in astonishment

"Oh, my father taught me some of his greatest martial art skills" you said

"That's amazing, I'd like to meet him one day" he says in excitement

Then, you looked down in sadness

"Actually, my father passed away when I was 8" you said sadly

Taeil felt guilty for asking that question

"Don't be, its alright" you said gently

"Oh oka-" before he finishes his sentence

How did you know he was feeling guilty

"How did you know that I felt guilty?" He asks supiciously To be continued

[tarotjourney2021]

The Spiritual Community is getting on my nerves

Spirituality is weird, it's like a cult, but without giving it the title. It creeps on you, very vague, hidden, and tucked away. Wouldn't tell you much, but suggests it. Suggests it so obviously, right in front of my face, but it makes you question if I've imagined it, or if I am the kind of person who believes in such things.

I could almost swear, I've had an awakening. I was me one minute, the next minute this me has become a cast-away image of a blind confused person. The one way I can describe it, is 'I woke up'. There is a transformation happening that I cannot put in words, and as big as the earthquake that happened, everything and everyone else look exactly the same.

I almost feel like I have come to realizations, not that I am a scientist or special or anything, that I thought, of course, everyone else realized the same thing, but when I talk to them, I can see very clearly that they are similar to the old me. But I have changed, oooh I have changed, in what seems to be a split second... but when I look back, I know it started very subtly a very long time ago. All the signs were there, I was pulled to things that I have rationalized away, but underneath it all, it's all been there, but I didn't see it, I couldn't see it.

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. In 2nd grade, I was already built-in with the desire to not be here. I never wanted to be here, never wanted to be alive. I know this sounds suicidal and for a while, I thought I was, but I wasn't. I just don't care to be here, I so don't care to be here, that I couldn't believe how much work you need to put in, just to be alive. Dealing with other people, people in my own family, weighed so much on me. My mother was terrifying. She was always upset. She blamed everything in life on us, she was miserable because of us. Everything was terrible because of us. I believed her when I was a child, I believed that I was to blame for everything. I carried the shame she wanted me to carry. I still carry some of it, the logical side of my brain still likes to carry some guilt, as a precaution ... just in case in some psychological analysis, it turns out that I contributed to her being who she is.

I heard a few people say, that everything in my life, I have manifested. This, on some level, makes sense. I do believe in past and upcoming lives, and in souls reincarnating themselves in different people. This sounds crazy to the person I used to be, in my religion, it wasn't mentioned, and not you weren't supposed to be asking too many questions.

At this moment, it makes much more sense to me how manifestation works, because if I have manifested everything in my life, even the painful things, from a previous life, or karma from a previous life. I have a side of me that can be cruel, really, brutal. I probably unleashed that part in a previous life. And now I am paying for it in my health, my mental health, and my physical health. I am 36, and I feel like I barely lived, because I've always been sick. Terrible migraines, that would stay for days, I couldn't do anything. The pain was always the most terrible pain I would ever have. I feared it so much. I still do.

Then with time, my mental health started declining too. I have been depressed. Bed-ridden depressed for months. The act that I would put up to hide it, you would think I am Angelina Jolie in 'Salt', very well and able of hiding her emotions. But many times, I wouldn't bother hiding it, even from people at work, I just didn't have the strength. Hiding things requires strength, a lot of emotional strength, that has been waining. In one of Anodea Judith's books, she talks about the demon of the throat chakra, lies. And my throat chakra has been blocked, that's the one thing it was apparent was blocked. I couldn't stop stuttering. It was embarrassing. It is still embarrassing when I do it, but luckily I don't stutter as much anymore, I think people barely notice it. Most people.

But I had to lie, cause no one would understand. My life ended up being dependent on it, no one could know what I was doing, everything was illegal. Anything that strikes a beautiful chord with you is illegal. You can't love, you definitely can't fall in love with someone outside your religion. It's illegal, there is a punishment, you could lose your life for falling in love under their law. You can't have pleasure, that too is illegal. Your body is a sin to be covered. Your voice as well, shut that up too. They had all their twisted absurdities to explain it all away. I don't think any of them actually tried thinking. Why would they? Their brain is only designed as a vessel to memorize what they have been told, it's a memory reserve. Even though productivity rule #1, is that your brain is not made for storing things, it is made to think. But how dare I think and cast doubt, I must submit. To who? To them?

Anyways, I lied so many times, I used up my reserve of lies, it's like that Denzel Washington in that pilot movie, he couldn't tell one more lie. Just one more lie to save himself from prison. I defended my lies, I was lying to protect my right to live, really live. And now I am unable to tell any more lies, about who I am, what I think, and what I feel. If you ask me, I would tell you, I have no energy left to hold up a lie anymore, to polish anything. Most people can handle a bit of bluntness, even when you take them aback. They call me open, honest, and vulnerable. I doubt I am any of these, I am just tired, too tired to play along.

I think I have paid quite a bit of my karmic debt, that's why I have earned this new beginning, and have earned my depression letting go of me a bit, even though it does like to glare at me from a distance, it is quite unnerving, especially with me being the only one who can see it. If it strikes again, I know I will have to either go back to the everything-is-okay dance, even with myself or bare it all again, how embarrassing.

Anyways, back to the title of this post, my gripe with the spiritual community. It doesn't seem to acknowledge mental health issues. It almost acts as if I am imagining my depression, that it is not real. Sounds too close for comfort to the religion I grew up in, several religions in fact. It is something 'we tell ourselves. A couple of spiritual guides and healers have said something similar, including my therapist if I can call what she does therapy. Healing is a more appropriate word, it insinuates what to expect, but she kept using the word therapy, that I thought someone who does therapy is a therapist.

I need a real therapist, and maybe have a healer on the side to add extra polish. I can't entirely rely on her to help me back on my feet.

I was offended, by their views on mental health, very condescending and problematic. It made me realized how much of a religion-like religion this is. They wouldn't call themselves part of a religion though, not openly. But the similarities are too obvious. The same religious structure with a few edits, the same look rebranded to fit with the times. I just ran away from one religion, and I am all too eager to jump into the next one. But I do like to adopt a 'scientist' mentality, which is an archetype of the way of thinking. Apparently, this mentality doesn't like to rule out any possibility, listens to all arguments, and just proceeds with what makes sense at the time, but when more evidence tip the scale in one direction, then they are open to change their minds and adopt the better-proven theory. It is difficult for a Taurus to change her mind about something, that's probably part of the reason why I am having such a hard time fully accepting this. This new spiritual world, and count myself part of it. Me and those weirdos belong to the same club? No.

Sometimes I am all in, just today I was browsing Etsy for more crystals believing those bracelets can cast their magic on me. I want to go to New Orleans, to get to know the black magic community there and elsewhere. Wanting to buy candles from witches, believing that the mix of my magic and theirs would do the trick. Who am I? This is absurd.

I do believe though that there is a part of the spiritual community that would work for me. I need to find my tribe, just like I am looking to find my tribe among the physical world. I feel like I am almost there, even though I still feel so alone and isolated, I almost feel dead.

One thing the spiritual community needs to do more of, is to talk like they got some sense. They say too many ridiculous things for me to take in all at once. I am a beginner here, talk to me like I am a muggle. Also, fake spiritual people should seriously stop it, they are ruining it for everybody.

[diversesocietynaj-blog]

I’m finna break down the starting line-up and 6th man for the colors women utilize on their nails and toes.

THE NAIL-TOE POLISH INFINITY STONES

What it do? It’s been a few years since ya boy been here but I’m back like I never left. Today I’m gonna talk about the colors the womenz use on their nails and toes and break down what that color means. If you reading this, take mental notes, because this can save you from getting involved in a terrible situation. And btw, no, I do not suck toes I just cherish and appreciate a woman that take care of them shits. Now that that’s out the way, let’s get started.

1st. At point Guard, we have the white toes. No matter what your ethnicity is, no matter how bright, dark, pale, or tanned your skin is, white toes is undefeated. When processed and layered correctly, there’s no way white toes will fail you. White toes will have a beat shorty move up a couple ranks when you see them out and about. Me, I’m picky, but I know it’s a lot of savage heathens out there that doesn’t care about a thing. This here is your tesseract from Marvel’s “Captain America,The First Avenger. The first toe infinity gem. This doesn’t mean all white toes are going to be fire. Make sure you fellows check for the knicks and scratches, (and try to do it before she blurts it out) too. Nah boo-boo, you ain’t finna get off just cause you said it out loud before my eyes shifted down to them thangs. I’m finna fire you up in front of everyone so you know not to make this mistake again. When the toes white, you gotta do hourly checks, set some alarms on your phone or something. Keep them in top shape at all times. White toes are usually a great sign, everything is in tact, shorty isn’t crazy, although I was wrong maybe 2 times out of a million, those are still OK numbers, right?

2nd. French tips. Like white toes, I have yet to see any misses with this wave. This wave looks even better when you have one of them jobs that require you to dress business-savvy. Spanish women are undefeated with the French tips. A miss has never been reported. Bro. I was watching the Selena movie, with J-Lo...funny thing, I wasn’t even looking at J-Lo(we know her stance is solidified out here) but her fan-club president Yolanda that killed her (RIP) had the French tips in one scene. Now, Yolanda isn’t someone you’d normally talk about, but the fact that it caught my eye on HER, powerful. That is why this is your power infinity stone. Spanish women will forever hold the belt when it comes to the French tips.

3rd. But before that, RIP KOBE. So, my small forward is going to have to go to matte black. Buuuuut☝🏾, it’s one of them colors you have to pull off correctly. You can’t have matte black the same length of time you would have the white or French tips. It just doesn’t go right with every single thing. For example, casual events requiring y’all to wear dresses, and you have yellow or pink or one of them fluorescent colors, matte black shouldn’t be your choice of color for the nails and tosies B. I’m not saying it’ll look awful, but you can come better than that. That’s going to throw the vibes completely off. Come in here looking like that, I’m gonna have to assume that Lil Peep’s greatest hits is heavy in your rotation (RIP) . Nah, I’m good. How deceiving the matte black can be, this is your mind stone, held by the one and only Loki, the irony!😂

4th, we have our power forward: yellow. This the color for our Nubian queens. But I will say, all ethnicities can pull this off, but In this category the Spanish delegation comes in last. But it’s not a bad last, it looks good on y’all! It’s just that it’s so close to your complexion, it look like y’all got extendos on y’all fingers. Like why you and Lord Voldemort got the same hand size shorty? You out here palming basketballs and shit. I’m good. White women can pull this off for sure but black women crushes the competition for this one. Dark skin or light. Sometimes It can fail the Lightskin complexion cause it’ll put you in the same boat with the Spanish women. But it’s not a complete failure, it’ll still look good. And it’s super dope on darkskin women cause it brings out light on top of the dark chocolate beauty. I do have my worries with the yellow colored warriors though. From my experience, the girl was either sidity or conceited. That’s not fact that’s from my experience, again. Yellow toed girls the type to want to showcase on every single social media platform the same pic over and over again for likes and thirsty folks to comment just making their heads bigger. The look is there but what it means, makes you want to think about the risk you’re about to take. Think long and hard on it Kings. Black women for the win, so it’s only right this is our soul stone.

At the 5, we have teal. Slept on but very dominant!! Teal one of them colors that’s gonna always catch your attention. Definitely held down by the white women, and they crush it every time. It’s more of a summer, beach type wave, but believe me, if it’s December and it’s 6 inches of snow on the ground and the nails and toes teal, I will not be mad at you..not one bit. This isn’t fact but my outlook on it, teal one of them sneaky colors. You don’t think about it but when you see it, you like oooh shit. Makes you think about the girl, right? Who knows what tricks she might have up her sleeve. I’m still doing my studies and research on teal as the days goes by but this one is in the air. I gotta hit a gym or a Starbucks and gather some more data for my lab. Since I have to play the guess game at the moment with this one, by default this is the reality stone.

* I am only allowed 10 GIFs per post and I am out so just know the picture for 6th man is Jamal Crawford and the last stone is the Time stone.*

For our 6th man, off the bench, helping contribute to the cause is orange. Orange, like the first 2 is elite with ANY nationality. Black white Spanish Asian...wait..

*I feel like I have to do this. Asian woman run the whole nail game in general. 9x out of 10 they the ones making sure your nails and toes right, and making sure it’s not a miss in sight! I have never seen an Asian girl with fucked up, chipped, or scratched nails. They shit be flawless! I went to a grade school that was predominantly black and Asian. I remember around that time when girls were trying to get right and doing nails themselves, the Asian girls would come in cruuuuushing shit. 😂😂😂 I HAD to give y’all the special shout-out out, you are appreciated for taking care of the womenz. Back to business.*

I feel like if her nails are orange, it’s an indicator that she is shy, nervous, etc. You gotta watch how you approach them, you just tryna get shorty number and next thing you know she put the supreme vice grip on her purse. The heel cadence is picking up faster and faster. Abort mission bro. If you know like I know, dip! You wasting your time, which is why this is the time stone.

I don’t trust red polish at all. No matter your ethnicity, nationality, religion, political stance.. shit, if you family and come to the reunion with it, I ain’t believing nothing you tell me. But red just got that I’m flirty, I can do bad and not care, I know I’m the shit, I’ll put a knife to your balls while your sleep type vibe. I ain’t with it. It’s overrated also.

Aight yall, that’s it, when you see those colors remember what I said. And remember, in “life goes on” with Lil Baby and Lil Uzi Vert, Gunna said “I like when that white on her toes.” Game over.

And I wish one of y’all would try to say this post racist or anything of that nature. I’ve had black, white, Asian, Spanish and Native American toes twiddling on my lap before you made it to first base. I don’t see color.

IG: Heartbreak_buck

Twitter: najBUCK_

💔💸

[heartau]

Oooh you went to Neocity right? I’d love to hear descriptions of the boys in the words of a writer 🥰

omg this sounds fun !!! ok before i start this i just wanna say this is from what i personally saw when i saw them live. i was relatively close to the stage, enough to make eye contact and to be waved at, so i’ll do my best!!

taeyong: seeing him in real life was a little surreal because he looks exactly how he does in pictures and videos which is already jarring because he’s already really beautiful through those. he has really big, expressive eyes and the warmest smile; every time he would look at the audience he’d have this small smile that looked like pride. it was really really heartwarming to see. he has such a calming, relaxed and cute aura durings ments but once he started to perform... whew! his head also really big, honestly a lot of their heads were really big in real life which is adorable idjdjddk, but yeah!! i made eye contact with him a number of times and you would think his gaze would be intimidating but it really really wasnt! the only word i can describe the feeling i got from him is motherly :(

johnny: first and foremost, i do not believe that he’s 6’1... that man is gigantic. his proportions are so good, his leg to chest ratio is so... [chef’s kiss]. what you see of him in videos is truly what he is in real life, he’s so goofy and funny and lively and he always encouraged other members to do their thing as well. he’s honestly so hilarious too which makes me sad because it makes me feel like we’d get along really well if i knew him personally ... man i just wanna be his bff. but yeah he’s really tall, like towering over the other members tall; even taller than jungwoo, who was surprisingly tall as well. maybe it’s just me because i’m really short. he also has a small face in real life, but at the same time his features are so expressive that you dont even realize it haha. but yeah he’s just a happy, talented, gentle giant.

jungwoo: if i could describe jungwoo in one word it would be cherub-like. he literally has the softest features ever and he moves so gracefully, he literally glowed on stage and it was kinda shocking really. he was also really tall omg, like i was expecting it anyways since i knew that he’s around 6ft, but like... he’s REALLY tall. he has the SOFTEST, most honey-like voice but he speaks with so much confidence, it’s so so so cute and made me so happy. he also has really fluffy hair, like even from my seat i could see how soft and light his hair was; every movement he made that night just made his hair whip around really easily, like even if it was bleached you really couldn’t tell because his hair didn’t look fried at all. all in all jungwoo was truly angel-like and very graceful.

taeil: oh man taeil is beautiful on screen and through pictures already but in person he glows 100x more. he has really, really pretty skin that made him shine under the spotlight and his jawline is REALLY sharp omg. he’s also really short (which i was expecting... probably still taller than me though) and has a big head hehe. he’s also one of the members that had a really calming, nurturing energy, during the ments he would literally have heart eyes full of pride when he’d look at the audience, it was really really heartwarming. a GOOD butt. also his vocals are so, so, sooo good and very stable - there was one point (i think it was back 2 u(?) i can’t remember anything from that night other than my videos) where he used his headvoice for the highnote and not falsetto and it floored me - i’m a classically trained vocalist so you bet i freaked out in the audience. but yeah, taeil is just really calming and nurturing and REALLY funny too :(

yuta: yuta honestly shocked me because although i knew that he’s baby from interviews and other clips, i was still somehow intimidated by him, but when i saw them live he really stomped on my intimidation. he literally has the most fresh, most positive, most genuinely kind energy i’ve literally ever felt :( he had the biggest smile throughout the night, every time i’d look at him he’d just be grinning from ear to ear. “healing smile” doesn’t even come close to describing how GOOD his smile is in real life. he’s also short, something i really wasn’t expecting, like a good 2nd or 3rd shortest - really really REALLY funny too and a REALLY good dancer, i got some of his freestyle dance on camera and every time i watch it, i’m floored bc he hits every beat on the spot. i made eye contact with him at one point and i remember feeling just so happy and at peace, like... he’s not intimidating at all... he’s just a happy boy :(

mark: ohh mark... i see mark as a childhood friend so when he came out on stage i literally felt tears spring in my eyes. i live in vancouver and saw them in vancouver so i feel like that kinda intensified it a bit more as well. he is SOOOOOO undeniably funny its crazy, throughout the night i’d just be laughing at things he’d say (that were intended to be humourous ofc). his head also really big omg it was kinda jarring, and taller than i expected. his stage presence is so good, everytime they’d perform my eyes would sometimes land on him, literally SO good. honestly, when i walked into that venue i was expecting him to cry which i feared for because when someone cries, then i cry, but he didn’t!! although after the concert ended, when they were saying their goodbyes, they left mark alone to say his own goodbyes and when he was doing so, his voice kinda cracked before he did this bow and his eyes were a little glossy and i got SO SCARED because i didn’t wanna cry rkdndkdndk but yeah :( im proud of mark and you can tell that he holds pride in what he does as well!

donghyuck: MAN... donghyuck literally has the most beautiful skin i’ve ever seen. i know i’ve said this before but he glows, like he literally glows, fullsun is an appropriate nickname for him. he emitted nothing else but cute, happy, mischeviohs energy during ments but once he started performing his vibe changed so drastically it was crazy - especially during wake up and baby don’t like it. there was one part during baby don’t like it when he pressed his forehead against taeil’s and when i tell you how much i lost it because i wasn’t expecting it... oh man. i also see donghyuck as a best friend; i was born a week before he was and our natal charts are exactly the same save for our moons, so seeing him rip it up on stage was so so soo good it made me so proud :( i made eye contact with him somewhere during summer 127?? I WAS SO HAPPY AFTER like it was refreshing omg i sound so silly but im telling the truth iddndkjd he’s also shockingly tall as well, around mark’s height, maybe even taller, and REALLY long legs. like a good 90% of his body was made of leg didjdjdjd but yeah donghyuck is just... he’s really the sun and he was meant to perform.

doyoung: i will start this off by saying; i left that venue as a doyoungzen. doyoung... whew... he also shocked me because through videos and pictures i was NEVER intimidated by him at all, i honestly genuinely always just saw him as cute baby but man oh man. you know when you just KNOW that someone’s rich by the way they hold themselves? that’s doyoung... he’s really regal-like and holds himself really gracefully, like a strict prince type. he intimidated me SO much that night (in the best way possible... sexy intimidation... dont worry) like his energy was just so... intense. i made eye contact with him a number of times and when i tell you how SMALL i felt just from meeting his eyes... my goodness. he has really broad shoulders and a tiny waist, also really tall, small-ish head. his features are REALLY sharp like it’s crazy, i really have no other way to explain it. he also has really pretty hands, nimble-looking fingers. he was really adorable during ments and at one point kept hopping which was so CUTE but even then... man. his energy is just really intense. i ended up making him one of my ults after i left the venue.

jaehyun: deep inhale... so. jaehyun. honestly its kinda silly because i can remember so many details from the other members but i feel like once it comes to jaehyun i’m at a loss of words because of how in SHOCK i was to see him up close bc as you all know he’s my ultimate bias, it was my three years with him a few weeks ago. but gosh... jaehyun... i really can’t see the whole “cold prince” image they give him bc he’s so chill and relaxed? ok wow a few memories are coming to mind now; he has a really big head, which i was expecting because i’ve seen people talk about how big his head is but yeah it’s big but it’s CUTE he’s just a little bobblehead :( i made so much eye contact with him that night too and god like. i got some of those moments on camera and you can see through the videos how i’d just FREEZE every time we jefkenfkd he’s just... really chill, really relaxed, let the other members do their thing, but at the same time really silly and had this aura of confidence which was really nice. a lil shorter than i expected omg but his skin was reeallllyyyy nice and he’s very pale irl omg. he waved at me and my friend at the end of the show and i also got it on video and like... every time i watch it its just so surreal cuz like ... 😭 LIKE WHAT NOW how am i supposed to live the rest of my life now knowing i reached my peak at neocity like .... bruh

all in all these boys are just so talented and have the best stage presence ever, and they’re super SUPER interactive with the fans. beingin the crowd during touch and replay was just so... nice :( it was truly one of the happiest moments in my life and i hope that they come back soon !!! i also hope that the next time i see them, winwin is part of 127 again as well :( and lastly, i also hope that whoever is reading this sees them in the future as well bc u deserve it!!!

[destiel-love-forever]

Day 1: First Date

Combined two prompts from two anons for day one on 14 Days of Destiel Valentine’s!!  - "For the Valentines' prompts... First date?" && " This high class restaurant I’ve always wanted to eat at is doing a Valentines day dinner special that’s like half the price of a normal meal there and my ass is broke so will you pretend to be my date and come out to eat with me?" 

Read Below or on AO3: HERE

“So,” Dean begins as he leans on the checkout counter to look at Castiel. “Any Valentine’s Day plans this weekend?”

 As usual when his most frequent customer talks to him, Castiel ducks his head to hide his blush and tries his best not to sound flustered. “Ummm, no. Nothing special planned.”

 “Any regular plans?”

 “Nope.” Castiel laughs awkwardly, his hands shaking as he rings up Dean’s coffee and donut. It’s the same every night. 3 a.m., Dean in his police uniform, wrapping up another patrol shift, stopping at the gas station by his house – the one Castiel happens to work at – buying coffee and donuts. Castiel teases him relentlessly about the whole ‘cop with a coffee and donut’ cliché. It never fails to make Dean smile.

 Castiel really likes making Dean smile.  

 It’s been two years of Castiel working this shift and Dean working his, the two of them seeing each other at least three or four times a week. At first it was Castiel fumbling and stuttering as he tried to ring up the officer with the gorgeous smile and witty remarks, but thankfully Dean’s insistence on small talk has loosened Castiel up. 

 A bit. 

 As loose as you can be when you’re head over heels in love with a man ten times out of your league that likes to flirt with anyone that moves. 

 “Do you have any plans?” Castiel asks politely as he waits for Dean to fish out his money. 

 “I don’t.” Dean leans further over the counter and Castiel finally looks up at him. He realizes that Dean isn’t trying to get his money. In fact, he doesn’t seem at all concerned about his coffee and donut at the moment. His eyes are locked on Castiel. “You don’t work?”

 “Surprisingly I do not.”

 “Great. Neither do I.” Dean grins. “Listen, this is gonna sound crazy but I promise I’m not trying to be a creep and come onto you, okay?”

 Castiel laughs nervously, his heart in his throat. “O-okay.”

 “This high class restaurant I’ve always wanted to eat at is doing a Valentine’s Day dinner special that’s like half the price of a normal meal there and my ass is broke so will you pretend to be my date and come out to eat with me?” It all comes out in a rush and for the first time, Dean is the one blushing instead of Castiel. 

 Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Castiel is still blushing, but Dean is at least joining him now. 

 “H-how expensive are we talking?” Castiel asks, doing a mental calculation of his current bank account balance. 

 “Don’t worry about it. I’ll cover your half. I just can’t go alone. They’re only letting couples go.” Dean beams at him as if Castiel already agreed. “So, will you come with me?”

 Castiel doesn’t even have to consider it.

 “Yes.”

---- 

 Dean has never seen Castiel outside of his gas station attendant uniform. Don't get Dean wrong, the little blue vest and name tag are adorable, but Castiel cleans up well. He's gorgeous, standing outside the restaurant in dark jeans and a button up with the top two buttons undone. The blue of his shirt makes the blue of his eyes pop even though it's dark outside. 

 He's breathtaking.

 Dean has officially been launched from yeah that college kid is cute and I have a major crush on him to fuck, I might be in love with him...

 "Hey," Castiel says softly, looking slightly uncomfortable. Dean can't exactly blame him. He's been staring at the kid like an idiot. 

 Dean clears his throat and pastes on a smile. "Hey. You look great." 

 "Thanks. You too." Castiel tugs at his collar. "I, um… I don't own a tie. Do you think this'll be okay?" 

 "It'll be perfect. You ready?" 

 When Castiel nods, Dean takes his hand and starts to lead him into the restaurant. He's only holding Castiel's hand because of the whole couple ruse, of course.  

 At least, that’s his excuse if Castiel questions it.

 The host seats them at a small table in the back corner of the restaurant. The scene screams romance. From the twinkle lights strung along the ceiling and the live piano music to the rose petal covered table and the bouquet of flowers in a vase as the centerpiece. Once they've taken their seats and have been handed the special Valentine’s Day menu, the host leaves. 

 Castiel's first words are, "This place is gorgeous."

 Dean swallows the flirty, "You're gorgeous," and just agrees with Castiel instead. 

 "So why this place?” Castiel asks. “I mean, yeah it's nice and the food is probably amazing, but why'd you want to come here so bad?"

 "It's new. Small town like ours, you don't get that much. Especially like this. All we end up with are crappy diners or chain restaurants, but this chef used to work at a 4-star restaurant which is amazing. I've been wanting to eat here since it opened last summer." 

 Castiel leans forward and it's clear he's not faking interest. The fact makes Dean's stomach flip. "You must really like food then, hey?"

 "Absolutely. It was actually my dream to be a chef, but it doesn't pay the bills, at least not starting out." 

 "I get that. I can barely afford to live and go to school full-time, even with my financial aid. Hence the shitty gas station job."

 Dean straightens in concern. "You're going to school full-time? I figured you were only half or online or something."

 "Nope. I go to school during the day. It's not so bad this semester, actually. Last semester I had a practicum, so I had to do all my coursework for my classes but then on top of that do 15 hours in a classroom every week. It was brutal." Castiel laughs to himself. "I survived on coffee and hatred.' 

 "Coulda fooled me. You're always so happy."

 "You're the bright spot in it all." Castiel's smile falls. Panic makes his breath hitch in his chest, the shudder visible from where Dean is sitting. "I-"

 "So, you're an education major then?" Dean asks, saving Castiel from the embarrassment. Or maybe just saving himself from sharing his own embarrassing confession that Castiel is his bright spot too. 

 Castiel bounces back quickly, relief relaxing his shoulders and allowing his smile to return. "Yeah, elementary ed. I'd love to work with 2nd grade but anything under 4th will be fine. Once kids hit 4th grade they turn into little assholes." 

 This catches Dean by surprise, pulling a laugh from him. Castiel was always so shy and soft spoken at the gas station. Now that he's opening up, his personality is really getting a chance to shine. 

 Dean is on a very slippery slope here. 

 It only gets slipperier when Castiel says with enthusiasm, "You know, you should really try out for one of those shows. Like MasterChef! I'm sure you could get some sort of leave of absence from work. There's no way all of those people just quit their jobs, you know?"

 "I've actually thought about that…" Dean darts his eyes away, feeling the same as always when his dreams come up. "Michael told me not to waste the money flying out for the whole interview process or whatever, though. Said I'm housewife good, not actually good."

 "Umm, who the fuck is Michael?"

 Dean looks back at Castiel before answering. He startles when he sees the rage on the young man's face. "My ex."

 "Well fuck him. Seriously? It's not up to him. It's up to Gordon Ramsay - or whoever else tests your food. I don't know how the process works exactly but it's not up to him. And he sounds like an asshole anyway. If it's your dream then you need to do it, Dean! Isn't the chance worth it?" Castiel shakes his head in amazement before laughing once under his breath. "And I bet you're really fucking good, too. He sounds like an asshole that didn't deserve you. You should go on that show and kick some ass and then do a little shout out video with a huge I told you so." 

 Dean needs to blink a few times as he tries to process the mini-rant Castiel just spewed at him. As the words sink in, his lips spread into a wide smile that borders on painful. "You've never even tasted my food. How the hell are you so passionate about this?" 

 "Because I care about you." Castiel's eyes soften for half a second, something deeper passing between them. Then they light back up with humor. "And if I can't make an informed decision without eating your food, I guess you'll just have to cook for me some time." 

 "Yes. I suppose I will. But then you'll owe me a meal." 

 "Oooh, no. No, no, no. Trust me. You don't want that."

 Dean chuckles. "Can't cook?"

 "I held my own for a while. I made a mean hot pocket. And toast. I'm like an expert at getting the toast just the right amount of crunchy where it's not too soft and it's not burnt either." He makes a chef’s kiss with his fingers, the sound loud in the air between them. "Then, sadly, my toaster became out of commission. So, it's mostly just cereal and pb&js for me. Unless my microwave decides to work, which is extremely rare." 

 "What happened to your toaster?"

 Castiel looks up at him with both amusement and shame. "I may have gotten a piece of frozen waffle stuck in there and I can't figure out how to get it out, so every time I start to cook something it sets on fire…"

 "On fire?" Dean's eyebrows shoot up as he laughs. "Jesus. Yeah, okay. I'll be the one cooking then." 

 "Perfect." Castiel picks up his menu and waves it. "We should probably actually figure out what we're going to order hey?"

 Dean's immediate instinct is to say no. To ask Castiel if they can just spend the night talking. Who cares about the food?

 It's a terrifying thought.

 It's also exhilarating. 

 "I can get a bottle of wine for us to share," Dean offers. "Would you like red or white?"

 The blush that warms Castiel's face is so familiar, setting Dean at ease. "I'm actually not of age. Only 20."

 "Oh." Dean puts the wine menu down and laughs. "Well, then. Never mind."

 "You can get some though! It won't bother me."

 "I actually hate wine to be honest. Much more of a beer guy."

 "Yeah, I can handle maybe two wine coolers before I'm a mess anyway. Total lightweight." Castiel's chin snaps up and his eyes bulge. "Shit! I mean - not that I'd ever drink, because like that's illegal - and I'd - well-"

 Dean bursts out laughing. "Calm down, Cas. You think I never drank underage? Long as I'm not in uniform we don't have a problem." 

 "Okay. Good." Castiel takes a drink of his water, his hand shaking. It nearly spills when he tries to put the glass back down. "If it makes you feel any better, that's pretty much the sum of all illegal activity in my life. Unless you're counting the time I stole a chap stick because all my friends were stealing stuff, but since I felt so guilty about it that I went back 2 hours later and put it on the shelf again without ever opening it, I don't think it counts. So, I'm officially arrest free, officer." 

 Dean laughs. "Why does it not surprise me that you would do something like that?"

 "Nerdy… I know."

 "I was going to say adorable." Castiel flushes at his words, ducking his head. It's so goddamn endearing that Dean finds himself admitting something for the first time since it happened. "I was arrested once. When I was 15." 

 "Really?"

 "Yup. Sent to a boy’s home and everything." 

 Castiel looks confused. Dean expects him to ask how he could be a cop then, in which Dean would explain the whole juvenile records being sealed thing. Instead, he surprises Dean by asking, "What did you do?" 

 "I stole some bread and peanut butter. Or, well, I tried to." Dean shrugs like it's no big deal. 

 Castiel doesn't brush it off so easily. He reaches a hand out and places it on top of Dean's where it rests beside his water glass. Dean stares at their hands pressed together as Castiel says softly, "You must have been really hungry. I'm sorry." 

 "It's uh... it's-," Dean needs to stop and clear his throat, suddenly overwhelmed.

 "It's okay." Castiel squeezes his hand gently. Like a reassurance. Like a promise that he's there. Still there. Not going anywhere. "Is that why you love food so much? Because it was such a luxury growing up?" 

 Tears threaten Dean's eyes. Castiel isn't pitying Dean or looking down on him. There's no judgement.

 Castiel understands. 

 "Yes," Dean whispers in relief. "Yes."

 Before they can discuss things further, the waitress comes to take their order. Since neither of them have really managed to look at the menu, they’re both caught a bit in the headlights. Thankfully their choices are limited on the special menu for the night, making it easier to rush through picking things out. They stumble through an agreement on pan seared scallops for an appetizer before Dean orders a medium rare filet mignon with a side of three cheese risotto and Castiel requests the same. 

 Dean worries that things will be awkward now that the conversation was halted but it’s not. The moment the waitress is gone to place their orders, it picks right back up. 

 “Hmmm.” Castiel glances around the restaurant, the wheels in his mind clearly turning. “On a scale of one to our asses getting kicked out, what do you think the rules are in me taking out my phone at a fancy place like this?”

 “They’ll probably just think our date’s going bad and feel bad for us.”

 The little scoffing sound Castiel makes is endearing as he pulls out his phone.

 Castiel starts scrolling through his phone as Dean is left to just stare at him. He laughs awkwardly after a minute. “Ummm, are we having a bad date?”

 “What?” Castiel looks up at him in confusion before shaking his head adamantly. “Absolutely not. This date is the best I’ve ever had. Which is kind of pathetic… since, you know, it’s not real or whatever.”

 “Feels real,” Dean admits. 

 Castiel blushes. “It does, doesn’t it?”

 Unsure of what he should say, Dean redirects the conversation. “Well, if it’s not that, then what the hell are you doing on your phone?”

 Instead of directly answering, Castiel says, “MasterChef auditions for the next seasons starts in October. Locations are L.A, Boston, Atlanta, Houston, New York City, and Chicago.”

 Dean’s heart skips. “You’re looking into MasterChef auditions?”

 “Yes.” Castiel looks up from his phone. “Didn’t you mention a while ago that your brother goes to Stanford? You mentioned you were going to visit him - I swear I’m not a creep, you mentioned it when-”

 “It’s fine, Cas. Yes, he goes to Stanford.”

 “Well then, there you go. L.A. in October and you can stop by and visit your brother while you’re at it.” Castiel beams at him. “That gives us nine months of preparation.”

 Us.

 “O-okay.”

 “Okay. It’s a plan.”

 A plan. 

 Dean decides to go out on a limb, wanting to check to see if Castiel means what he thinks he means. “So, you’re going to help me?”

 “Help you? Psssh.” Castiel puts his phone away and winks. “I’m going to be your official taste tester.”

 “Oh, you think so?”

 “Yup.”

 “And what exactly do I get out of this situation?”

 “Other than my excellent taste testing skills?” Castiel’s smile freezes before dropping a notch or two. "My company?"

 The way he says it, like he's suddenly very unsure of himself, breaks Dean's heart. 

 He reaches over for Castiel's hand now that it's free again, pulling it towards him so their intertwined hands can rest in the center of the table. "I'd say that's more than enough."

 "Yeah?" 

 "Yes." Dean takes a deep breath to steady himself. "And Cas?"

 "Yeah?"

 "I was wondering if maybe you'd-" Dean pauses, looking away from that gorgeous face and bright blue eyes in case he's rejected. "I was wondering if maybe you'd consider going on a real date with me sometime? Like… ya know.. for real."

 The pause that follows is so long that Dean is sure Castiel is going to say no but when he takes a chance and looks at Castiel again, Castiel is grinning. He nods enthusiastically as their eyes meet. "I'd love that. Can we count this as our first date though? Because I am terrible when it comes to first dates and this is already going so well." 

 Dean laughs in relief. "Sure.”

 “Perfect.” Castiel pauses, raising an eyebrow at him. “You’re not just dating me for the discount on coffee and donuts, are you?”

 The question is clearly teasing but there’s the slightest undertone of panic beneath it, as if Castiel can’t understand why Dean would genuinely like him.

 That will be something Dean fixes. He doesn’t care how long it takes.

 “No, Cas. I don’t give a shit about the coffee and donuts.” He leans forward and looks Castiel directly in the eyes. “Considering it’s 3 a.m., do you really think I’m coming to the station for coffee and donuts anymore? I usually eat half the donut, wash it down with a sip of the coffee – which is decaf, in case you were wondering – and then crash into bed thinking about the cute boy at the gas station.”

 Castiel seems to puff up. “Really?”

 “Really.”

 “All this time?”

 “Mhhm.” Dean’s smile fades as he turns serious. “The first time I came to the station was after a homicide. A man killed his wife. I’d been to their house twice before because of neighbors calling in the domestic abuse but the woman… no matter what we tried, she never pressed charges against him. Always took him back. Walking into that house that night and seeing her – shit, seeing her on the floor like that. It… wrecked me. I couldn’t get myself to go home after that. Just kept driving around. When I saw the station, I decided to stop on a whim. But then there you were, humming along to the song on the overhead radio as you arranged the candy display, and I was hooked.”

 With a shake of his head, Castiel mutters, “That’s not true. That – you’re not serious.”

 “It was a Tuesday. Winter. One of those nights where the air is crisp but warm so every inhale is relieved, not pained. I had to go to the station to change out of my uniform and into civilian clothes because I had blood on my shirt and it became part of evidence. I was in jeans and a ratty old flannel. It was the worst night of my career to this day, and one of the worst nights of my life.” Dean closes his eyes, letting his smile grow as he pictures the scene before him. “It was a Taylor Swift song and you were into it. Like, humming under your breath, shaking your ass, bobbing your head, into it. You had no idea I was even there. It was so… happy. You were just radiating this joy even thought it was the middle of the night and I doubted you were enjoying the fact that you were awake and working at a gas station. There was just something so freeing about you. I only used the bathroom because you were distracted and I didn’t want to pull you out of it, but the next night I came back in my uniform right when my shift ended and bought my first ever coffee and donut from you. And you-”

 “Laughed and said, ‘a cop buying coffee and a donut?’ Is it your life mission to become a cliché?’” Castiel finishes, his voice taking on the same tone as it did two years ago. He smiles at Dean in wonder. “I was very proud of myself for that, by the way. I was so flustered because you were gorgeous, and I just knew I was going to say something stupid. When that came out instead, I was stoked.”

 “Don’t worry, I figured out pretty quick it was a fluke.”

 Castiel’s jaw drops. “Hey, now!”

 “I’m just speaking the truth! You’re a god damn mess. Always dropping shit and stuttering and blushing.” Dean takes Castiel’s hand in his and smiles fondly. “It’s okay, though. I love that.”

 After staring at Dean for a few seconds, Castiel shakes his head. “I can’t believe it. All this time…”

 “Yeah, Cas.” Dean pushes forward, leaning across the table so his lips ghost against Castiel’s. “All this time.”

[quelsentiment]

hi pal!! im sorry it's been a while since you've heard from me - this week got super busy with school & work and i've just been exhausted haha. yay for it being friday now! im bummed that the 2nd message i sent you last time didn't go through but at least i noticed and sent you a summary! how sad would it have been otherwise if you just got the first one sdfsfsdf why is tumblr the worst. I don't have tattoos so honestly im totally unqualified to be writing this au HAHA (1/?)

but i got so excited about the au that i wanted to go for it anyways! and i did watch a lot of tattoo related youtube videos haha. you're spot on about the fic being angsty but im reaching the end now so i'll be writing a lottt of fluff coming up hahaha. i'm so indecisive that im scared of the commitment of getting a tattoo more than the tattoo-getting process itself. but i guess im also sort of a baby when it comes to pain so there's multiple reasons lol! oooh halfway through is GREAT progress on your big bang! thats awesome! you've definitely got this. I have posted some other fics! i had to go check my ao3 to remember haha but ive got 9 works posted :) i've def been around for a while but only really gotten into writing later on. I think i officially joined the fandom in like...2012? wow, that feels like SO long ago now that i'm thinking back on it hahaha. eep! what about you? tbh i think having gotten into fic and writing is one of the main reasons im still around. im a TA too! thats so cool haha! this week is our last week of classes and finals are next week so its been sort of crazy. i taught my last class of the quarter on wed and its so weird to be done. this was my first time ever TAing but i really loved it! how has ur experience TAing been?? im in a phd program in biology/computer science (like sort of combining the two?) so thats what im studying! winter break is coming but i'll still have to work in my research lab, so its not much of a break but i wont have teaching or classes and plus i'll get a real break during christmas & new years! we're locked down again too but our rules for this time's lockdown have been very vague and confusing dsfsdfsd. but officially yes, same here! ive been in the habit of staying in anyways so it hasnt affected me too much hahaha. anyways that was a ton of messages but maybe that helps make up for being gone for a bit too? hope you're doing well & happy friday! any weekend plans? take care! -S xx

hi pal 💕

tumblr is The Worst™ (this time one of your messages came in four times 🤪)

but anyway, it’s nice to hear from you!! and don’t worry if you can’t make it every day, i know it’s a busy time with the end of term and all

oooh angst and fluff, aka the best combo!! it’s gonna be amazing i’m sure! and yeah, i think it’s the same for me, the pain doesn’t scare me that much, but it’s definitely a big commitment, so i don’t know if i’ll ever go through with it... what design(s) do you have in mind?

thanks so much! yeah i feel pretty good about it, i’m writing the majority of it in writing sessions with a friend, and that’s definitely helping with motivation! also i’ll get matched with an artist very soon, and i’m SO excited 😌

oh wow you’re almost an og fan 😳 the things you must have seen jsksjksj but yeah i totally get what you say about writing being the main reason why you’re still here. i only joined at the beginning of the year, but tbh if i hadn’t got into writing and also met a lot of friends here, i don’t know if i’d still be here, or just as a casual fan i guess

oh, what are your all-time favourite fics then? 👀

that’s so cool you’re a ta too, and that’s great you’re liking it so far! i never had to teach, most of what i do is marking and assisting in zoom classes, so it’s pretty laid-back. i’d love to try out teaching though, but it must be nerve-wracking, at least until you get used to it 😅 oh, biology/computer science sounds like a fascinating combo! at what stage of your phd are you? i’m currently finishing up my masters in linguistics. i might do a phd some time in the future, but it also sounds like a crazy amount of work, so idk... plus i have mixed feelings about making a career in academia 😐 did you start your phd right after finishing your previous degree, or did you take a break from studying at some point? oh and a research lab!! i was working at one too until i moved back here, i miss it 😌 idk how yours is, but mine definitely felt like home! it’s still nice you’ll get a break for the holidays though. do you have any plans?

hehe same here, they keep changing the rules about lockdown, but i also tend to stay home anyway, so i can’t say my life has changed that much this year 😬 as long as i’m allowed to take walks outside, i’m good

as for this weekend, my plan is: 1. getting ready for louis’ concert, 2. losing my shit during at louis’ concert, 3. recovering from louis’ concert (with some writing and cleaning and walking in between lmao) what about you? are you gonna be able to attend the concert? 

thanks so much for your messages, it’s really lovely to get to know you 💕 hope you have a good weekend!