#or harringrove works too ig

[netflixnormalthings]

in my cliche fandom blog era anyway ship rating (filters for poorly rated ships so as not to bother you guys who do ship those im not fond of. oh except for billy ships i am keeping those uncensored given billy is a racist abuser) also lol no hate i am filtering for a reason (apart from the above mentioned)

milkvan: 2/10 romantic 7/10 platonic. all of their best moments are the ones that arent inherently romantic, like messing with hopper, or like. being the first people to not hate eachother. good duo, kinda toxic as a couple what with communication breakdowns and el not really being given a chance to understand her feelings... yeah i dont like it

lumax: 9/10 i love them so much they communicate have a fun dynamic support eachother i love them i love them. really care deeply about eachother and i love that

elmax: 9/10 so much understanding and girls having fun

elumax: 10/10 oh my god it is everything it is perfect showstopping amazing incredible- but seriously! look at them! understanding! support! theyre just adorable!

byler: 9/10. im chill about them though. endgame truther but i dont really go insane over them

st*ncy: why why excuse me why so bad for both of their characters oh my god uh uh 1/10 i guess very bad i could write an essay on why it is bad im just incoherent right now

j*ncy: uh alright ig??? peak was s1 and s2 but it sorta broke down after s3. they care they just cant and wont communicate and tend to lash out which leads to less care. pretty cute but ah well 6/10

ronance: 10/10 literally so insane about them like the dynamic, the way their characters work well in terms of narrative...

st*ddie: somewhere between 5 and 7 out of 10. idk i dont really interact with st*ddie content given that i ussualy filter it out for the sake of getting to the content i want to, but theyre all right. overhyped, but all right. cute maybe??? idk

jargyle: 10/10 they are weed smoking boyfriends they are funny they care about eachother so much they are supportive they-

stonathan: solid 6 or 7 out of 10, but im more willing to engage with this content than st*ddie lol. better dynamic imo, just ignoring that steve called him a slur one time but he got better about that. i would be willing to see them in the background so yeah ig i ship

jopper: 10/10 that being said i dont go out of my way to find stuff about them. they just kinda exist and i like them

r0ckie: 5/10 sorry. too similar. not really developed. i am biased

harringrove: so far in the negatives. so very far. please seek help if you stan billy

byclair: 7/10 cute ig wont scroll past on my dash just dont really care that much. fun dynamic. lucas would treat him right, i just dont know if they would work as a couple so i sorta ship

[thatscrazyrandom]

Dude. Openly Straight but Steddie

[yikesharringrove]

hey it's the mtf stevie anon again, just thought if another cute thang mayhaps? idk if you were thinking about harringrove in this (as in if billy would be cis or mtf too? idc you can choose ig) BUT bills and stevie hanging out after a long day of tucking and bill comforting and helping stevie with any dysphoria she'd have (im afab so my bottom dysphoria is different but i do know tucking can be uncomfy and even unsafe if some for too long so yeah? idk m8, you can ignore this one if you want)

Hi, I’m working on the other one! I was kinda going back and forth on a few things, and this one kinda hit me faster lol.

This is a scene I was thinking of if I write the fic I want to 😊

-

Stevie is mtf and Billy is cis There’s bottom dysphoria, talk of tucking.

-

“Alright, stair, and stair, and stair.”

Billy had one arm around Stevie’s waist, coaching her up the stairs.

They had gone to a party, and Stevie was blasted.

She was giggling as Billy led her to her bedroom, sat her heavily on the bed.

“That was fun.” She was laying back on the bed as Billy worked on taking her shoes off.

“Yeah? You have a good night, Baby?”

“Yeah. Fun.” He got her shoes off, getting her some pajamas.

“You need help changing?” She sat up clumsily, shaking her head.

He took off his own boots, stripping down to his underwear and sliding into her bed as she stumbled to the bathroom.

She reemerged, makeup gone, hair up in a messy bun.

She curled against him, tossing one leg over his waist.

“Baby-”

“Don’t start.” Her voice was gruff, her face smushed against Billy’s shoulder.

“I know how it makes you feel-”

“Bill, I know you mean well, but I just, I don’t wanna deal tonight.”

“You know what’s gonna happen tomorrow? You’re gonna take off day old tape, and it’s gonna rip your skin, and you’re gonna have a fucking rash, and you’re gonna be hurting and chaffed and-”

“God, shut up.” She sat up, letting her head fall into her hands. “You don’t get it.”

“I know I don’t.”

“I would take, I would take, all that ripped skin, and a hundred UTIs if it meant it was gone.” Billy was quiet, just sat up to trail one hand down her spine. “The hormones gave me tits, and long hair, and hips, but they can’t take it away.”

“I’m sorry, Sweet Thing. I’m sorry. I don’t get it. I know.” She took a breath, her shoulders relaxing.

“I’ll untuck it.” She sighed.

“Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She was monotone, shuffling off to the bathroom again.

Billy sat waiting for her. He could hear her sniff.

She came back out, walking stiffly. She curled back into Billy, let him pull her close.

“Why do you tape? I know they got panties for that.”

“They can be expensive. My parents only let me go on hormones and shit ‘cause my dad’s insurance covers them. All my stuff I have to buy myself. Medical tape’s cheaper and not it’s just a habit.”

“That makes sense.” Billy made a note to check out some of her clothes, look for sizing. Do some research. “You wanna do something fun tomorrow? Go to the city or something?”

“Honestly, Bill, I’m drunk as fuck and I’m gonna feel like shit tomorrow.”

“That’s fucking valid, Baby. Get some sleep.”

[causticsunshine]

kumoricon is all wrapped up and i had such a great time with my best friend cosplaying and throwing my money around after having to skip last year but i just wanted to say something in regards to me “coming back” (again) because i promised i would after the con was done and i wasn’t staying up til 4 am sewing anymore:

i’ve realized that as much as i love fandom culture and talking about headcanons and meta and such with likeminded people, completely steeping myself in said culture regardless of how many or few things i’m interested in, is not good for me mentally. i put pressure on myself to only create work for the fanbases i’m in, and because i’m usually super involved with one thing at a time, that usually means i’m only making art or writing for one pairing/fan base  because i think that’s all people want to see from me, and if i stop making or making as much of this one specific thing, no one will care about my work at all.

and because i like such random things -ie harringrove, then most everything else i like is anime or animated related, then sprinkle in some random movies and comics of various genres - switching things up when i’m really feeling even just one other show or paiirng is something i don’t do anymore. i don’t commit to making things or really exploring that other media i may be really influenced or inspired by out of this silly fear that no one cares about anything i do but the one thing they follow me for and it’s not worth it. 

i put a lot of imagined pressure on myself and i know that tends to put me back in terms of productivity and working on my self esteem but it’s STILL a persistent problem because i’m STILL talking about it. i still stamp out my own creativity and any new ideas that don’t always have to do with a fanbase or group i’ve been primarily active in and it’s really detrimental to my self worth and artistic process.

i basically split up the content i like now because i know here most people that follow me are harringrove people and that’s what they stick around for. this is where the fanbase really lives and most of y’all don’t share a lot of my other interests so this blog is mostly all harringrove stuff primarily because of that reason, while on twitter and even IG the harringrove fanbase is quite small and there’s only so much content for it while my other interests are thriving; that’s why i go away on here sometimes even if i’m still not freeing myself up to be more creative. 

that’s also why i haven’t been on discord in awhile either, because there’s a lot of talking about one singular subject all the time - and there’s so many conversations going on at once - and i get burnt out super easily being oversaturated like that, no matter how much i like something. sometimes i just need a break from seeing one kind of content and from endless conversation (about said thing or just in general) but i still don’t let myself actively partake in diversifying the stuff i make — i’m afraid the most supportive group i’ve been part of for so long will give up on me because they’re seeing other content from me they’re not interested in.

i’ve brought this up before too -years back i finally changed up my content from a fanbase i wasn’t into anymore into things i actually really enjoyed, which also included how i drew because one style i had got all the positive feedback - and god knows how many people unfollowed me in a really short amount of time because of that. numbers shouldn’t matter but when you’re a creator and you want to be able to make a living off your craft, they kind of do, so sometimes you feel the need to keep doing something to keep the support going even if you need a break from it, or maybe even don’t enjoy it anymore.

and i because i don’t have the following where i could draw whatever i felt like and at least a decent chunk of people would be into it and more people would come as some go, i have this fear, and it’s why i do what i’ve been doing. a lot of the harringrove stuff i draw, too, is for fun, but others’ enjoyment and support over it is what keeps me doing it or wanting to do it even when the pairing itself isn’t inspiring me all that much — i don’t want to let people down.

i’m sorry this is so rambly and long but it’s something i’ve been stewing over for a long time and i’m tired of being so afraid to create out of fear that i’m letting people down by doing what inspires me vs. what i think people want to see from me and what people like best. i’m trying not to let numbers mean so much to me and determine my worth or what i create but they do and i’m still trying to unlearn that behavior.