#or her

[poorlemons]

fashion day

[culminada]

I sat here scrolling Tumblr and then I heard my dad snoring on the other side of the wall.

And I've been making it a habit to consciously pay attention to the people I love, because I love them.

And so - I wasn't trying but this just came to me because of observations, and knowing, and perhaps the habit of it - I thought oh, that means he's sleeping.

Its the middle of the day. He does this sometimes. He's a very busy person, between two jobs, and 2-4 disabled kids. He takes power naps after lunch. He has a whole strategy. He's told it to me and I listened and I remembered because I love him.

He's also in burnout. My dad is burnt out and I understand because I am also burnt out. I wish I could help him but I am burnt out, and so all I can do is know him, is listen to him snoring and know that he is tired.

I get to listen to him snoring. He is tired. He is sleeping on the middle of the day because he is tired, from taking care of me, who am autistic, and my brother, with Prader-Willi Syndrome (shoutout to ppl with PWS), and his job 1 to pay the bills and job 2 to pay for the future and his wife and his other children and making sure we all get our enrichment.

And so he is snoring on the other side of the wall, and I can picture him tangled up in his blankets and sleeping because he is tired.

And so I get to listen to him snoring and think about all the things he does and how much he deserves rest, and how glad I am that he CAN rest, that he's worried and busy and anxious, but not too worried to sleep. Because he needs to sleep. And it's a blessing that he can do that.

And I'll sit here and appreciate him and all he does because I can hear him snoring (and it keeps everyone else up at night unless he uses his mouth guard, which we all call his snore-teeth, and I know this because I listen and I pay attention and I love him).

And he might never know that I sit here and think of him and love him and all he does, how grateful I am that he takes care of me when I'm his oldest and I'm autistic, and I don't feel overwhelmingly bad about that but I do wish I could help more than I do. Not be so big of a burden as I am. But all I can do is let him sleep.

He might never know that I take the time to listen to him snore. Maybe one of those days when he's feeling horrible I'll show it to him and say "you are loved and I see you and I am grateful for everything you do, I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." Maybe I'll make bits of this post into my Father's Day letter. I've been wondering what to do for that because I've been more vocal lately about how much I love him and sometimes it feels like there's nothing left to put in a Father's Day letter that wouldn't just be the same.

There's something special in just the same, though. Like listening to snoring. There's time. And when you're sitting in the middle of time, in the quiet and the dark and listening to snoring, and wondering when the next snore is gonna come, and contemplating life and love and time - well, I'm not doing anything else. And I'm not getting any younger. And maybe right now I can't mentally DO anything else. But I can do this.

I can contemplate my father, who is wise and loving and who pours himself out constantly, fill my mind with MY DAD instead of something else, because I love him.

I lied. My first thought wasn't "oh, that means he's sleeping." Well, it was subconscious. But right after, I thought, "I wish I had someone to love this way," meaning that I want to get married and have someone to love.

But I do have someone to love. I have my father. I can love him. I DO love him. And why am I pining for something I can't have, or worse, for someONE I can't have, when my lovely beautiful Dad is right there loving me in his sleep, in his waking, in his working, in his eating, in his thoughts, in his research, in his everything. I have him? Why do I need anyone else?

[cupofcappuccy]

Warm up yay!! FIRST OF ALL, HEAR ME OUT- I know there's a lot of errors here and there but thats the point of the warm up! I legit forgot how to shade when making this. Also is it showing I was studying muscles and perspective before the warm up...

[karl-von-moor-official]

this is the beach body I'm trying to rock this summer:

[ralvezfanatic]

does anyone have any photos of Luke and Roxy or just Roxy herself bc i lack pictures of the best girl to exist 😞😞

[yonetee]

Cloud

Little pomeranian cloud siblings. In our neighborhood lives this cute little dog. Me and my boyfriend started to call them little cloud, because they are so sweet little pup. They live in cloudscraper house, near to their brothers and sisters clouds.

Oil on canvas board 30x24 cm

[tezuka-brainrot]

Epsilon come pick me up I'm scared.

[picturepickle]

Neon creature :)

I'M BACK !! School just got out for the year, and I'm going to be catching up big time on the days I've lost. (Not really but we can pretend)

Actually have two versions of this bc I'm not sure which one looks better

[voodooya]

🖤 My Skully needed some fun in the sun.

[jasperscringepit]

rushed to make my bestie a b-day card!!

[nuchester]

THIS is real bi panic 🫨😍

[pale-cheezit]

Guess who was in my yard today!!??

[httpiastri]

one of paul’s italy trip friend just followed elena 👀

damn yall can actually put stalking on your cvs

[patx64]

⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬛🟦⬛🟦🟦⬛🟦🟦🟦⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛⬜⬜ ⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛⬜⬜ ⬛🟨🟧🟧🟧🟧🟥🟥🟥⬛🟦🟦🟪🟪⬛⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟦🟦🟦🟪🟪⬛⬜ ⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🟦🟦🟪🟪⬛⬜ ⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛🟦🟦🟪⬛⬜ ⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛🟦🟦🟪⬛⬜ ⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛🟦🟦⬛⬛⬜ ⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨⬛⬛🟪⬛⬜ ⬜⬛🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟪🟪🟦⬛ ⬜⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟪🟪🟪⬛ ⬜⬜⬛🟥🟥🟥⬛🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥⬛⬛⬛⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜

[moonie-cake]

Oh, forgot to show you but- HAVE THIS DOODLE I MADE FOR YOU <33

FLOWER FOR A BEAUTIFUL SOUL, LIKE YOUUUU

🌸🌸🫵🫵

AWWWWWW BABYYYYYY THAT

THAT

THAT IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER WHAT .......

I'M ADOPTING HIM HIS NAME US TONY STARKY RIGHT NOW

[roseworkshop]

you called?

no fuckin way.