#or if Steve will still be going through it and Tony to a lesser extent and the rest of the team not so much

[rissararity]

Little Soldats -BuckyBarnes/OC

By RissaRarity

(NSFW, Dead dove do not eat. Rape/forced breeding, unprotected P/V sex, Non-consentual drug use, warning - 18+ only)

CHAPTER EIGHT

Seven years later, James returned to New York City and headed directly where he hoped to find her.

He caught a few glances and studied her from afar before approaching. Vanessa looked much the same as she had the last time he saw her, she would be twenty-six now. She had gotten a tattoo- a tiny, simple snowflake on her inner left wrist.

He wondered if that was for him, and took it as a green light.

James agonized over how to do go about this, should he just “bump in” to her? Try and contact Tony or Steve? Maybe he could catch the Captain on his way into the building?

His stomach flipped nervously as he covertly watched her from across the street, pretending to read a news paper with his head covered in a Baseball cap, eyes behind sunglasses.

She exited the Avengers Tower and paced outside like she was waiting got someone. Her knee length dress rippled lightly in the warm breeze, he was sure it smelled like lavender – her favorite scent.

Her hair was in a clip with a small chunk hanging by her face, familiar eye makeup framed her starlight gaze.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he decided to just go for it. He tossed the paper and headed toward her, taking off the hat and shoving it in his jacket pocket.

There was an audible hesitation in the clicks of her sandals when her eyes fell upon him. He head her gasp, covering her mouth.

“J-James?”

He took off the sunglasses and offered a smile, “Good to see you, Doll. I was ho-“ he oofed as she all but leapt into his arms, wrapping hers around him.

He chuckled, “-hoping we could catch up.”

“Is it really you?” she looked up at him, melting into his hand as it cupped her cheek. Blue met steel as they held each others gaze; she could tell.

It wasn’t Soldat, it was really James. His skin had gained more color and he’d grown some scruff but he looked so much more alive than he had been when they’d last seen each other.

The sparkle in his eye had returned, especially when he looked at her.

“Its me.” He promised, bumping his nose to hers the way she’d asked him to long ago. Just like it used to, it caused blood to rush to her cheeks as he pulled back.

James smiled, feeling his own heat up as well, though to a lesser extent.

“Is there some where we can talk?” he asked when she released him at last.

She checked her watch and glanced back to the door for a moment. “I'd love to, but it’s not really a good time, but uh…”

He frowned. “I can come back…or not…?

“Um…” she looked at the door again, “First, some questions.”

James tilted his head but agreed.

“Are you…free? Or…on business?” Vanessa cast her eyes down nervously before forcing herself to meet his eyes again, this time with defiance.

Still the same puffed up kitten he once knew.

“I’m free. And I’m me…as cliché and rhymy as that was. Wow I did not expect that to…ugh…”  he face palmed, putting her nerves at ease. “I’m blowing this, aren’t I?” he asked, peaking through his fingers like a guilty child.

She laughed, the sound music to his ears.

He’d dreamt of hearing her laugh again.

“Hm…eight out of ten.” The beauty smirked, making him give a small laugh and drop his hands.

Behind her back he caught sight of the profile of a child with hair very similar to Vanessa’s. Steve shuffled over and picked up the kid, winking to him on the other side of the door and speed walking out of sight.

Looks like Wakanda’s report on his rehabilitation had come through on time. He was nearly positive Shuri was messing with him but part of him was nervous.

As excited as he was to meet the kid(s?)he knew it should ultimately be up to Vanessa.

James felt elated when she took him inside the tower-where Steve had since taken the child elsewhere- and into an empty meeting room.

She had FRIDAY soundproof the room and disable recording devices.

“How have you been?

“I’m…better. Getting better.” He offered a small smile, then explained about his time in Wakanda and clear bill of health and mind control.

He found it easy to talk to her even after so much time apart. If anything,  more so now that he was alone in his head at last. While he told his story, he couldn’t help but watch her face like a Broadway show as every emotional change was clearly displayed. Her eyebrows were just as active as he remembered.

A smile crossed his lips as he realized that.

When he finished she sat quietly for a moment. “What happened to you? I really thought….” Her voice was tight, eyes misty.

“I nearly died after fighting Steve. I had a moment of clarity and pulled him from the water. That’s all I could get Soldat to do so I just kind of left him there.” He paused for her to process, “Some Wall Street, secret Hydra supporters had me in a lab for a while as my body began to struggle to heal fast enough to recover from my internal injuries.”

She frowned, eyebrows scrunching a little.

“When I was all fixed up, Soldat reported to base that he was going to stake out the Avengers Tower  for a few days to try and learn routines. Some bull about planning traps…” he shrugged, “I didn’t though. I just bided time and laid low until you’d think I’d died, and checked the pocket.”

“Soldat lied to Hydra to help free me?” her eyes grew wide.

James’ cheeks tinged pink. He shyly looked down, “We were both a bit sweet on ya, Doll. Even he wanted you to have a chance at a good life…deep down.” He added.

Pink bloomed across her fair cheeks. “Were?”

He hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, making a small smile cross her plush lips, currently painted a natural looking pink.

His cold thumb pressed against her lower lip, squishing it a little to see the plushness of it. Vanessa tried to wrench her face away but was unable to move more than a quarter of an inch.

She watched sadness flicker in his eyes and he stood straighter, getting more reserved and taking a half step back from her.

The air in the room shifted slightly as his posture changed, he was notably distancing himself from her.

Way to go, Vanessa! You made it weird! She inwardly groaned and tried to think of a way to loosen him up again.

“As soon as I took off the tracking ring I left for the tower. I went in to ask for Tony but I was able to stop Steve on his way in. He was suspicious at first then took me to this very meeting room where he muted mics and soundproofed the room just like I did.”

“You took me to the same room on purpose?” He arched an eyebrow.

She nodded smugly.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “You’re just as dramatic as I remember!”  

“I prefer the term poetic.” She poked at his ticklish side, smiling as he wiggled away with a chuckle.

“Anyway,” she raised her brows for affect and paused, making him shake his head at her- still smiling. “He sat down with me and I watched him go through the file. I didn’t think about it at the time but now I’m embarrassed that I basically gave him pictures of my ass.”

They shared a laugh and the atmosphere relaxed, he leaned on the wall and she perched on the table top.

“He called down Tony to review it, and they agreed  to take me in. Bruce confirmed my pregnancy with a blood test and had to study up to become my personal OB/GYN.”

James made a face, making her grin.

“I have a room in the residential floors of the tower, and so do the kids.”

“Kids?” his eyes sparkled with joy.

“Didn’t you know, likleyhood of twins is a feature of mine.” She winked.

A genuine laugh shook him for a few seconds but he nodded.

“Theodore Sebastian and Alice Rowan Johansen were born on a rainy May 18th in the medbay of the Avengers Tower. Alice at 2:13PM, Theo at 2:15.”

His smile widened, eyes crinkling a little at the corners as it reached them.

“Steve held my hand for the delivery and immediately took on a paternal role. He stepped up like they were his own.”

James considered Steve fondly, making a mental note to thank him.

Then his smile faltered a bit for a moment, becoming a bit forced. “If you don’t mind me asking…are you and Steve…? It’s okay if you are I just…need to know.”

She could see him disassociate himself from the conversation as he prepared to be hurt.

Vanessa shook her head, “Not really. After a few years we both sort of developed feelings…but never anything official. We want the kids to see what a healthy relationship looks like so we snuggle, and have kissed but the kids and I have a whole floor to ourselves.”

An unasked question hung between them.

“Ask.” She encouraged with a short nod.

James decided to spit it out, “Do they call him dad?”

“No. They know Steve isn’t their father. Neither of them have tried to call him that since we told them.”

“I half expected him to have signed the birth certificate as the father.”

She shook their head, “He offered, but I just…couldn’t forget you.” She showed him the little tattoo of a snowflake on her inner left wrist; earning a genuine smile.

“He did legally adopt them though. Technically they’re our kids but it’s all for legal reasons Tony tried to explain but I didn’t follow.”

“So he’s still making sure their future is secure.”

She nodded, getting an approving one on return.

“What are they like?” he asked.

“They’re really smart, and clever. They both got the strength and speed from the serum…I’d lose them constantly if it weren’t for Steve. I can’t keep up with ‘em!” she laughed, only half kidding as she dug out her phone and tapped on it a few times, showing him her photo album of the kids.

“Theo is a soft spoken, considerate boy who loves to help and make friends. Alice is confident, and fearless, but also short tempered. She is a natural protector, but he seems to be ready to have her back at a moments notice if she needs him. They’ve gotten into a couple of fights at Daycare but usually they’re defending someone else or each other. Using their powers for good, and all that.” She smiled.

From the pictures, he could see both children had inherited their mothers hair. Theo had her grey eyes too, but his facial features looked more like his father.

Alice seemed to like to keep her hair in a familiar braid most of the time, bangs hanging over her forehead and steel blue eyes that mirrored his own looked back at him.

He blinked and felt something wet slide down his cheek.

Tears.

He was crying.

Vanessa didn’t comment, just smiled a little and crossed her arms over her chest in a hug while she watched him scroll through the hundreds of family photos. He even smiled at the ones that included Steve.

It made him happy to see them all safe and sound. His whole family together.

She stepped a bit closer and started telling him some of the stories behind a few of the photos. He listened in earnest and his eyes were wet as the screen reflected in them.

“Would you like to meet them?”  the beauty asked at last.  He blinked, sending another cascade of tears down his cheeks and nodded.

The next day at the agreed upon time, Bucky returned  to the Avengers Tower where Steve met him at the elevator.

The super soldiers hugged each other as Cap let the elevator scan his face. “Access granted.” The AI said, door sliding open to let them in.

“Good afternoon, Captain Rogers and guest. Where would you like to go?” an Irish accent piped.

“I’d like to see the kids.” He said simply.

“Johansen residence – clearance granted.” The elevator said, starting its accent into the sky.

“I asked Vanessa already but…” Steve slightly turned to Bucky who shuffled his feet anxiously, “What are they like, Steve? Are they…normal?”

The blonde was quiet for a moment, “You’re worried some of the mind control got through.”

He nodded.

“It doesn’t seem like it, but honestly we shouldn’t celebrate until puberty when aggression peaks.”

Bucky nodded, a small frown on his face.

“But currently, both seem like honest, protective kids. We had them tested and both of them have clear signs of the serum in them, so they’re quite the power duo.”

“Using their powers for good.”

Steve nodded, “We’re doing our best with em, Buck. They know to be careful with other kids, and Nessa. Sometimes Alice's tantrums get out of hand and I have to step in but she doesn’t…”

“She doesn’t get the look.” The shorter man finished.

“So far, no. And she always apologizes after.”

They both knew the look, as did the twins mother.

 The blank, slightly venomous look the Soldat always had when he was activated. The infamous deadeyed stare while he disassociated from reality.

Bucky wasn’t sure if it was possible for any of the Soldat to get passed on but stranger things had happened.

They were quiet for a few floors before he spoke again, “Anything I should know? Do they know who I am? Do they want to meet me?”

Steve offered a smile, rubbing his friends back with one hand for a few seconds. “They know they’re meeting someone important today. We haven’t told them exactly but…I’m pretty sure they’ve figured it out. They’re excited. Relax, Buck, they’re not toddlers anymore. They’re…durable.”

After a deep breath, he nodded just as the elevator slowed then stopped. “Johansen residential floor.” FRIDAY informed them as the doors opened.

Steve led James into the apartment, keeping a normal pace to encourage him. With their enhanced hearing they hear some shuffling in the main area they were coming up on.

The entire apartment smelled like lavender, Vanessa's signature scent.

They could hear her whispering to the kids who giggled and whispered back.

When Steve entered, two sets of little feet came running over. Now seven years old, the kids from the pictures Bucky saw immediately climbed his legs and placed themselves on his hips, letting him wrap one arm around each of them.

“Hey kiddos! How was school?” he asked, smiling and looking between the two of them.

Alice told him about the older bully who’s face she rubbed in the dirt and Theo just smiled with pride.

When they calmed down, Theo looked over Steve’s shoulder and finally noticed the other man with eyes identical to his sisters . Alice noticed Theo’s attention had shifted and Steve flat out dropped them, letting them land almost silently on their feet.

Bucky was glad they didn’t run at him, he wasn’t sure how he’d react. He glanced up at Vanessa who winked…telling him she’d told them not to.

He looked down at them with wide eyes, surprised when his daughter narrowed her eyes at him. She stepped in front of Theo and very clearly sized him up before her face relaxed and she offered a smile.

“Theo, Alice this is Bucky. He’s a friend of Steve and I-“ “He’s our dad.” Alice cut her off.

Steve and Vanessa exchanged an amused smirk, “Yes, he is.”

At this, Theo stepped in line with his sister and took in the man before them who tried not to shrink under their gazes.

After a few tense seconds of silence, the twins smiled at each other then Bucky, opening their arms in tandem – around their siblings back the other out.

James teared up as he stepped forward and knelt, taking his kids into his arms.

Steve put his arm around Vanessa's shoulders and they smiled at the display, not a dry eye in the house.

“Welcome home, dad.”  Alice kissed his cheek.

“Will you stay?” Theo asked, head on his shoulder.

Tears slid down his cheeks as he looked over the kids’ shoulders at Vanessa and Steve. She nodded and smiled, tears staining her face as well.

“Yeah, I’ll stay. We’ll be a family from now on- all five of us.”

A/N:

I couldn't decide exactly how I wanted it to end so I left it open ended. Like if Vanessa and Bucky get together, or Vanessa and Steve, OR maybe eventually they form a thruple? Maybe Vanessa and Steve have a set of twins of their own?

I couldn't pick one so you can fill in whatever future you want for them 😊

[bedlamsbard]

Some Loki thoughts under the cut! Not explicitly spoilery for this week’s episode except for one comment, but some of what I’ve been dwelling on for the past few weeks, especially as I go through my MCU watch.  This is sort of negative, for those who are avoiding negative comments.

I think for me what I'm increasingly missing is context -- Marvel could have run most if not all of this story line with almost ANY character with very few changes; it doesn't feel deeply rooted in Loki himself.  At this point (next week’s finale could obviously prove otherwise) you could run this exact same story line with Natasha or Tony or Thor or Steve or Wanda or etc and end up with pretty similar results.

Obviously some of the decontextualization is deliberate depersonalization; what happens when you remove Loki from everything familiar and put him in this beige office monstrosity?  But even depending where you fall on the was-influenced-or-tortured-by-Thanos scale, that...already...happened to him...when he fell at the end of Thor, it just all happened offscreen, and then it happened again in the beginning of Thor: Ragnarok when he falls off the Bifrost and ends up on Sakaar -- it just all, again, happens offscreen, and both times results in Loki going “yeah, I could be anyone but I’m going to be Loki of Asgard, good or bad.”  Which isn’t to say that there’s not value in telling that story onscreen but I don’t love how they’ve been doing it.  And like, I love alternate universes and multiverses and alternate versions of the same character, I was absolutely onboard for episodes 1-3.

What’s key for me in that kind of thing is still keeping the character very firmly rooted in their own context even when everything else is stripped away from me, and that’s where the show started losing me after ep 1 and to a lesser extent ep 2 really dug into it.  Like, this guy is not human, he’s a thousand years old, he may or may not be a literal god (every Thor and Avengers movie has a different answer for the “are Asgardians gods or not?” question and Ragnarok commits to it; because I love the larger-than-life scale of divine storytelling that’s where I fall on that scale, but the show sort of elides it), and he just had the Battle of New York go pear-shaped on him.  And then there’s his family and...yeah, previously he’s only been presented in context of Thor (and to a lesser extent Odin and Frigga), but like, so has Thor himself -- Thor’s most stripped of context in Age of Ultron, tbh (which is a whole ‘nother issue because of like...the rest of AoU). But that’s a huge part of Loki and his identity issues and the fact that because, for whatever reason, the show can’t/won’t bring in movie characters rings hollow.  (The reasons are probably torn between a very practical “budget + pandemic made it impossible” and a thematic “who’s Loki without his family?”)  I like Loki a lot as a character, but for me a huge part of what makes him that character is his context and not having it is jarring.  (And I like his dynamic with Thor.)  Most of what I find really appealing about Loki has just not been there these past few eps and it’s not there even in its absence, which is the key part for me; with the family bit you can feel around the edges of it because it’s been highlighted a few times, but the “absolutely not human” part is just...lacking.  Like, you can have the magic and all the rest of it too, you know?

And for me the fact that this is supposed to be post-Avengers 2012 Loki -- which is a Loki who’s glaring in his brittleness -- is...lacking?  You can argue that one reason he’s so unsettled is because he’s smarting from what happened there, but I’m just not feeling it.  And yeah, he’s a chameleon who can blend into new contexts pretty easily, even coming immediately out of trauma (the Sakaar episode in Ragnarok shows that), but that’s such a specific context that we’re so familiar with that it feels off to me.  (And also, this is is a me issue, Tom Hiddleston, while very handsome, is very clearly ten years older in the face than he was as 2012 Loki, so I don’t even have the visual cues to say “this is 2012 Loki.”  That is obviously a me issue, again, I want to reiterate that.)

and to switch gears off the decontextualization

I’m also feeling some resentment on behalf of Loki Prime back in the films because the whole argument that a Loki is only allowed to do bad things and won't be allowed to change falls apart in the face of TDW/Ragnarok/IW? and like, he was presumably a pretty decent dude the preceding millennium? there’s a reason his psychotic break in Thor was such a shock to everyone?  (I guess to get back to context, he’s a thousand years old and the fact that none of that history feels like it’s there.  Like, the DB Cooper thing is ultimately pretty harmless, and also like...only forty years prior.)  I've seen people talking about Show Loki having to speedrun Film Loki's character arc but by the whole argument of the show, if we're taking it at face value, that character arc NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. So it sits weirdly with me.

Obviously there’s no reason to take “you were born to cause pain and suffering and death” at face value, except there’s also Kid Loki’s comment in the last ep about “whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they’re sent here to die.”  It’s been a while since I read the comics (I think I went through Journey into Mystery around when Thor or maybe Avengers came out, but that was the last time), but IIRC that feels like much more a comics thing than an MCU thing and because they’re so very, very different it’s jarring.  This felt like a lot of “we’re going to stuff comics stuff in here despite the fact that the MCU is only very loosely connected to the comics,” which on the one hand could be fun (and obviously a lot of people found it fun!) but on the other hand threw me very badly.  I love a multiverse but one reason I mentally can't cope with most comics is that I need the multiverse to be very, very logical about its divergence points and that went out the window here. This is 100% about how my brain works, not a quality issue; it’s an issue that’s shown up elsewhere and not specifically a Loki thing here.  (I can kind of look past it for Into the Spider-Verse but tbh I think a lot of the reason I can is because that film’s animated.  again, like, 100% about how my brain works.)

also the recurring “glorious purpose” line makes zero sense considering that Loki never utters it again after Avengers. :/  I know it was exciting back in 2012 but y’all.

okay I’m going back to dealing with all of these problems in fanfic again

[americashielded-a]

Okay but can we just talk about how Steve is nothing but supportive of Wanda from the moment she joins their side? Like he and Clint play a similar role in AoU with the Maximoff twins, though Steve to a lesser extent with Pietro, but the thing is, the moment they jump in against Ultron, he doesn’t question them, ready to believe the best in them and asking Pietro to save civilians outside while he asks Wanda to stop the train and after everything they did to them earlier in the movie like??? Steve is just right there on their side soon as they seem to be on his?

And of course do I even need to mention Civil War and how he and Clint again take up that supportive role for her in different points at the movie and him especially knowing she’s still trying to piece together just how far her powers can go and what she can do with them, because remember, he had to adapt to a sudden change like that too, and I think part of the reason he can empathize with her so easily is because they went through similar things and honestly I love the parallels between the two? And the fact that he stands up for her when Tony confines her because of the “potential danger” she poses, knowing all of that, that is some *chef’s kiss* great stuff right there

Which is why it’s more infuriating that he’d ditch her as well as Bucky in the aftermath of the final battle but I’ve talked about that at length, particularly why he’d never leave Bucky behind in that state but you have to imagine he’d want to be there for Wanda too, knowing what she’s going through, but we love to ignore that ‘canon’ in this household anyway even if we love Steggy to bits, there are way better ways to have that happen

And once again in Infinity War, it’s obvious he was keeping an eye on her and Vision and the fact that he makes the call to risk everything to try and get the stone safely out of Vision for both Vision and for Wanda like Steve is just the most supportive person in the world I swear, no wonder he ran a support group during the 5-year gap.

[sersi]

because one can never get enough of him, how do you feel about steve?

agghsajakahfhfhah becka 🥺💖.

He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time, if not the all time favorite character. Steve is the character that took the MCU from something I’d seen pieces of but had no real interest in to something I actually cared about. (And something I go to conventions for, camped out for red carpets for a few times, took out of state trips for, etc.) (I just really do love the MCU a lot).

It can be difficult to explain why I love the characters I love, but, having stanned Steve for a solid eight years at this point, I think I have a fairly good understanding of why I love him and why I’ve consistently loved him even as a lot of fandom has turned on him. The biggest thing is that he is Good and, despite some bumps along the way, his story has been one of the most effectively told in the MCU. (While I don’t think that J*ss ever actually understood Steve as a character, The Avengers works, for me at least, if I just headcanon that Steve, being internally busy trying not drown in grief and PTSD, is playing along with the image and myth of Captain America that rose in his absence. AoU…. is harder to salvage but it gave me the Dance and that one Steve/Nat scene in the third act 🥺, so it’s not without it’s moments of Steve related greatness).

Steve starts out as a kid from Brooklyn who doesn’t like bullies (or, lbr, rules) and while his understanding of the world shifts and changes over time, that core drive–not liking bullies and just wanting to do what is right–doesn’t change. He sacrifices his life to save the world and then, having discovered that he didn’t actually die, does his best to make a life in an entirely unfamiliar world despite the fact that the pain of that loss never really goes away. He makes new friends, leads a team, and does his best to help protect the world even as that world increasingly reveals itself to be deeply complicated and some of the relationships he’s built since waking up start to fracture.

He’s not perfect, but he really does do his best to help people and to stay true to his moral code, even when the world might prefer he do otherwise. In TWS, he’s the one who insists that they destroy S.H.I.E.L.D. completely even though it’s the organization that has helped him try to find some level of meaning and purpose in the 21st century and the organization that Peggy spent her life building. In Civil War, he has that moment of almost signing the accords, even though he doesn’t agree with them and he (very likely given all the shit Ross pulled in The Incredible Hulk) doesn’t trust Ross, but then doesn’t because, while it would be the easier path, he can’t sign onto something that would imprison his teammates for no justifiable reason. Civil War is a controversial movie, but, for me, it just made me love Steve more because the journey Steve goes on, from leader of the Avengers to international fugitive feels natural and sort of inevitable. The myth of Captain America, built up over 70 years, has never entirely fit Steve and the betrayal Steve experienced in the Winter Soldier (and to a lesser extent the erosion of trust between him and Tony in Age of Ultron) got him to a place where, facing a choice between forced retirement and signing something he would never be able to abide by, the only real choice was to walk away from that identity.

When we see Steve again in Infinity War, he’s different but it’s a (mostly) good sort of different. He’s built a family with Sam and Natasha (and, probably, with Wanda as well), they’ve done their best to help people when and where they can, and the moment they realize there’s a big new threat to the world, they step up. Even after they’ve lost once (and Steve has lost his world for a second time 😭), he’s still fighting and trying to help the world recover. And then, after they lose a second time and think there’s no way to change what happened, Steve fights through his grief and trauma to try and help other people survive and move on from this loss. His relationship with Natasha has changed (their responses to this trauma are clearly very different), but he’s still doing his best to look out for her and help her, even while knowing that it’s probably futile. (Neither one of them is doing a particularly amazing job of moving on!!)

Steve is a deeply contained character–he doesn’t verbalize his emotions very often and he will put everyone else’s well being before his own a lot of the time–but he’s so much more than just an uncompromising soldier. His moral code is a huge part of his character, but he’s also kind and smart and tremendously loyal to the people he cares about. In Endgame, he goes back to the past, but in the kindest way possible. He does it only after he’s told Bucky what he’s going to do and only after he’s ensured that the stones are all back in their proper places. He comes back for Sam, both to give him the shield and, I think, to ensure that Sam won’t have to experience the trauma of not knowing and being left behind. Old Steve is different and has a lived a life Sam doesn’t know about (yet), but he’s still Steve and he’s still going to do what he thinks is right and ensure that the world has a Captain America to take care of it.

So, tl;dr, I love Steve, I love his story, and I love how it was told over the course of the Markus and McFeely Cinematic Universe (guest staring the Steve is out of character because Trauma reading of The Avengers and select bits of Age of Ultron) 🤷🏽‍♀️😝!!!

[thehollowprince]

Exact same thing happens with Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale and Derek Hale (to a slightly lesser extent). Stans swear they love them but proceed to ignore their flaws and ignore 90% of canon. They even give Stiles Scott's personality in most fic, give Peter Deaton's role while saying Deaton is an evil bastard, froze Derek in his season 1-2 development and made him even *more* of a brooding caricature. Like, sis, at that point, just make OCs lol

Yeah. I never understood that whole phenomenon.

You go into a fandom and see characters like Stiles, or Tony Stark, or Kylo Ren, or Snape and Draco or Peter and Derek or virtually any conventionally attractive white man in a show/movie/book/comic/etc. and they're all presented as these uwu soft boys with horrible backstories, often times drastically exaggerated or even outright fabricated, that are usesld as an excuse for every bad thing, or even mildly inconvenient, they do so that we as the audience know that its "not their fault".

But then you go an actually engage with the canon source material and they're nothing like how the fandom portrays them.

I am so lucky that I had actually watched Teen Wolf before I ventured into the fandom, because if it had been the other way around, I'd have been confused as to why Scott seemsd to be the center of the show and not Stiles, or why the grumpy looking muscle man was constantly putting the moves on a teenager.

Hell, even having watched the show first I was thrown off because you go into fandom and the characters are nothing like their canon counterparts. The worst was the fandom literally stripping everything about Scott that made him Scott and just draping it over Stiles in a totally unsubtle attempt to let everyone know who they thought should be the real protagonist of the show.

The "Stiles in Scott's clothes" trope that permeated the fandom was particularly obnoxious to me because these are the same fans (usually Sterek shippers) who go out of their way to let you know they the reason they didn't like Scott was because he was "so boring". They don't like how he always has to be the good guy in every situation and he should be darker and blah blah blah. But then these very same people turn around and give all of the attributes they just claimed to hate about Scott and bedazzle Stiles with him before singing his praises. The Stiles of canon is this loud, brash, sarcastic smartass who has an inability to shut his mouth even in the the direst of situations, but the Stiles of fanon is this uwu soft boy who speaks five languages and cooks for his poor dad while struggling with his own eating disorder while being unable to sleep because of his ADHD and always having to do all the research for everyone and juggling all of his advanced classes and struggling with his attraction to an older guy while dealing with "Scott's homophobia" and.... it just goes on and on and on.

They go out of their way to create this fantastical character that doesn't at all resemble the canon Stiles in any capacity except for physical appearance, and even then that's suspect, because while Dylan O'Brien is six foot tall and decently built, the fanon version of Stiles is this perpetually smol child who wears skinny jeans and is dwarfed by Derek.

This just goes to further show that most of them view Stiles as some sort of self-insert character, which is made even weirder by the fact that so many of them are women (not all of them, but most of them). They twist canon so much to create these little scenarios for whatever fantasy they've concocted in their head that at some point the question has to be asked of not only whether or not they've actually watched the show, but if they don't enjoy anything about it that actually happens, then why are they so invested in it. It costs literally nothing to just create one's own original characters where they can say "hey, I picture this character as being played by Dylan O'Brien".

And this way, they can create their elaborate fantasies without going out of their way to twist canon and try to paint Stiles as a saint and Scott as a devil. The racist implications aside, this way they could stop erasing the character of Scott from his own narrative and maybe stop trying to smear Posey at every opportunity, or sending death threats, and all the other horrible stuff they've flung his way as if under the impression that if Tyler's doing well, then somehow that means Dylan isn't.

And that's just Teen Wolf!

How many shows or movies or comics have devolved into this giant fandom mess because of contradicting opinions regarding characters in canon and then the fanon versions that large parts of the fandom prefer? How many fandoms have devolved into a civil war because of a deliberate misappropriation of a character or characters?

I've watched as Tyler Lockwood was painted as a vicious animal in the TVD fandom so that they could prop up Klaus and make Klaroline more plausible. I've watched as Tony stans have bent over backwards to absolve Tony of every bad thing he's ever done, either intentionally or through negligence, while simultaneously condemning Steve as some kind of imperialist warlord because he wears a costume with the American flag on it. I've watched as Star Wars "fans" have stripped Finn of his entire identity - his backstory as a brainwashed child in the First Order, his exceptional Force-sensitivity, his relationships with Rey and Han - and give it all to Kylo Ren to create this Ben Solo persona.

This happens in every fandom in some form or another.

And I know someone must be reading this asking themselves what all this has to do with the original ask, and while I might have gotten a little sidetracked, the point is right there. So much of fandom discourse happens because there are those vocal members of said fandom that go out of their way to antagonize those who actually like the canon material, trying to push their fanon as what really happens, and it always devolves into this back and forth that generally ruins the enjoyment that most people get out of it.

It's a question that after all my years in fandom I still can't answer: if anyone dislikes a particular show or book or movie or whatever, to the point that they completely disregard canon, then what about it keeps them there? That's bordering on hate-watching and that sounds so sad.

[y-not-loki]

Confessions | Loki L.

A/N: This is for @wokeupinawalnut‘s 1.5k follower writing challenge!!! CONGRATULATIONS HONEY, YOU DESERVE IT!!! This isn’t my best piece, I could’ve done better, but I’m currently really busy, so enjoy! Masterlist in my bio.

Warnings: Swearing and unedited writing.

Word Count: 4 223

Blurb/Summary: Potions class was never something really interesting with Professor Erskine, he was always busy with the Slytherin Steve Rogers, but when (Y/N) spectacularly messes up her Draught of Living Death, Professor Erskine ends up pairing her up with the potions prodigy Loki Odinson. Which is an issue because she may be a tiny bit smitten.

Prompt: Hogwarts AU

*DISCLAIMER: I DON’T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS BUT THE PLOT*

Oh bollocks. (Y/N) thought to herself as the potion in her cauldron started smoking and forming lumps that seemed to move on their own. This is not right, it’s meant to change colour not shape or phase! The instructions on the board said that it was to change colours throughout the brewing, and to always stay a watery consistency, but uh… hers did not. A string of curses that the writer dare not write were almost vocalised, until (Y/N) realised that Professor Erskine had left Steve’s side to look at what she was… destroying???? Fucking up???? No one knows, least of all her.

“(Y/N), what have we here-” the professor started before his eyes landed on her cauldron and she chuckled sheepishly as she threw in some powdered roots (she wasn’t sure if they were asphodel or not, but they were labeled powdered roots so she assumed so). “Oh no.” He muttered under his breath, his eyes cast around quickly, noting that no one else had the tell tale panic in their eyes that signified that they messed up their potion, before he quickly (wandlessly) turned off the fire and created a small protective bubble around the cauldron.

It took (Y/N) a second to realise that the bubble was to protect them not it. Anyway, the potion promptly exploded and her cauldron seemed unharmed, but the professor just tutted.

“(Y/N), we really need to talk about getting you a tutor.” He muttered so that only she heard, and she ducked her head in shame. Everyone was staring at them, and she really didn’t need this right now. Embarrassment was an emotion that she tried her damndest hard to avoid. “Loki?” He called out, and a dark head or hair appeared right next to him, like the good student he was.

“Yes, professor?” He asked, ever-so-polite, nearly enough to tick (Y/N) off if she wasn’t embarrassed.

“Can you tutor (Y/N) for a while, just until the O.W.L.S?” The gaze that Loki turned on her couldn’t only just be described as cold, but frigid, hate-filled, and deadly. Professor Erskine seemed like the only person in the room who saw that there was definitely animosity from Loki’s end.

Whereas (Y/N) had been nursing a strong crush on the boy since day one of their potions class. Hell, since day one of the first year, when he sauntered up to the Sorting Hat as if this moment didn’t define everything that was to come in the years. And when he was put in the ‘evil’ house, he didn’t even bat an eye. What really caught her was his inexplicable ability to excel at everything. He was smart and relatively sporty, which meant he was a challenge. Something that would mean that she had someone to compare herself to.

But potions was the only area that she was lacking, everything else, they were neck and neck for top of the year. Except when Ravenclaw Tony Stark made his untimely appearance every now and then in Arithmancy, Muggle Studies, Study of Ancient Runes, and Transfiguration, and Ravenclaw Bruce Banner made his appearance in Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. These four, (Y/N), Loki, Tony, and Bruce were the smartest in their year, and often thought of as the prodigies.

Everyone else wasn’t thought of as ‘lesser’ to any extent, but less academic and more figure-head way. Bruce, Tony, (Y/N), and Loki were the ones who pulled the strings, and Thor, Steve, Nat, Clint, and Carol were the front-line fighters. Admittedly, Loki was one of the ones that they were fighting against, but they had learned to accept him when they heard his side of the story.

“Of course professor,” he said to Erskine, ever the perfect role model, before turning to (Y/N). “Meet me after dinner here every night. If you’re late, then I will just walk back to the dorms.” Loki told her stiffly, before turning on his heel and walking back to his perfect potion.

(Y/N) had the ridiculous impulse to bow, then suddenly realised that Loki was not a prince and Loki did not have power over her. Besides the tiny itty bitty fact that he was the only thing that would prevent her from failing Potions (unfortunately). Maybe not so unfortunately, she did still have a crush on him. And she was still spending time with him, outside of class.

So maybe it wasn’t so bad.

The only problem was Loki’s… uh… attitude towards her. He hated her. He hated her guts, he hated her personality, he hated everything about her.

You only needed to watch him glare into the back of her head every single day and glower whenever she got a question right, or look sullen whenever one of her friends made her laugh.

It was as if he didn’t want her to exist, to be right, to be happy or to have friends.

Maybe he was an asshole, but after seeing him help out the little Slytherin first years being bullied by the Gryffindor sixth years, she couldn’t help but love him a little. It was only the thought of him hexing her as she tried to help that kept her from fighting against the Gryffindors or getting a teacher.

Luckily, Loki is very skilled when it comes to magic, it’s as if he were made of magic. Whenever he cast a spell, his entire face lit up, the green wisps that appeared no matter what spell he used pooled at his feet, and he looked almost ethereal.

Who wouldn’t fall for him?!

He was smart, he was strong (she’d seen him throw his adopted brother, Thor, through the wall once, without magic), he was sassy and he was kind (even if it was only in private).

Well, she definitely knew that she was definitely, hopelessly, unrequitedly in love with this cold-hearted Slytherin.

If the others knew, they’d mock her and probably bully her to no end. It was the equivalent of falling in love with Thanos, the one who initiated the Second Wizarding War. Loki was a known follower of Thanos. He even had the Dark Mark that all Children of Thanos (or as they like to call themselves, the Black Order) had.

But fuck he was hot, he was smart, he was strong, he was everything.

She was completely screwed.

Oh well, not like it’s the first time she’s gotten a crush, she’ll get over it. Hopefully. Probably not, but let a girl dream, okay?

She was halfway through dinner, when she noticed Loki stand up, glance around and walk out of the Great Hall. She’d positioned herself so she could watch him and make sure she left as soon as he left.

Which is exactly what she did. As soon as he had left the hall, she pushed her plate away, grabbed a napkin, wiped her face and left. That way Loki couldn’t chide her for being late too badly.

She made her way down to the Dungeons, where the potions class was taught, as quickly as she could without being noticed by Loki.

Or so she thought.

By the time that she got to the classroom, Loki had pulled everything out and was watching the door patiently. He took one glance at her, gestured at the seat and murmured, “If you’re going to do that every single time, you might as well leave at the same time as I do.”

“You said after dinner.”

“I did not specify after my dinner, or after your dinner. That was you to decide, but I guess you’re just another one of those mindless sheep who follow every command given to them.” (Y/N) stiffened but said nothing, hanging her head ever so slightly as she sat down across from him. “Okay, today we will be going over the Draught of Living Death, as Professor Erskine did today, except this time I’ll point out where you’re going wrong and correcting you.”

Ooooooohh crap. (Y/N) thought to herself as she looked at the instructions again, starting the cauldron and preparing the ingredients.

Loki had immediately wiped his face blank of any emotions. “It’s powdered root of asphodel, not crushed root of asphodel.” He told her as she reached towards the wrong ingredient.

Immediately flushing red, (Y/N) quickly grabbed the right ingredient and put it into the cauldron. Letting out a quiet sigh, she resigned herself to being bossed around by Loki, who kept on pointing out her errors.

It continued until the potion was finished and stoppered.

“You know, you wouldn’t need a tutor if you actually read the instructions properly. You could be top of the class if you weren’t so bad at following those instructions.”

“Who was it, that an hour ago, said that I was another one of those mindless sheep that followed every order given to them?” She muttered under her breath, not meaning for Loki to hear her.

“I may have misjudged you.” He said emotionlessly, without turning back as he walked out of the room. “You will lock up after placing the potion we just brewed in the cupboard, Professor Erskine will look over it tomorrow.” Then he disappeared.

She silently placed everything to where it was once, wandlessly banishing the potion and levitating the ingredients away, before walking out the door, making sure to lock it.

Maybe having Loki as a tutor might not end in flames after all. Maybe.

She was just a tiny bit wrong. While it didn’t end in flames, it certainly wasn’t the most relaxing time of the day. Every two seconds, Loki’s eyebrows would furrow, and he’d zone out, then jolt back in and snap at her for mixing in the wrong direction. Usually he’d zone out staring at the space behind her head. Which didn’t make it easier because there was a wall there and she had no idea what he saw behind the wall. Sometimes she was curious about where his mind wandered in those little meetings, but Loki was Loki, and you don’t just ask him what he’s thinking.

The next few weeks going up to the O.W.L.S Loki started pushing her harder, and while she didn’t mind it at all, his face was colder than usual, and his reprimands were harsher.

So it really wasn’t her fault that she just had to ask what was wrong.

“Nothing.” He snapped, grabbing her wrist sharply and fixing it. His hands were unnervingly cold.

(Y/N) didn’t say anything after that, but she did keep on glancing at his face. Something was off. Something wasn’t right.

Then she noticed it. There was a smidge of blue at the base of his neck. And his eyes were just slightly bloodshot.

Did he have a girlfriend? Someone gave him a hickey and kept him up all night? And he’d rather be there than here?

He must’ve noticed her staring because the next thing she knew, he had adjusted his clothing, and glowed green slightly before any traces or pieces of visual information that (Y/N) had gathered disappeared.

A glamour. Not a very good one at that. (Y/N) unravelled it without reaching for her wand and gasped.

Loki’s skin wasn’t just slightly bruised, his skin was completely different, blue with raised lines, and his eyes weren’t just slightly red, they were the colour of blood, with crimson irises.

He stiffened, and the glamour slid over his skin again, while he stood up abruptly.

“You are good enough to pass your O.W.L.S now, I will let Erskine know that you no longer require my help.”

“He told you to help me until the O.W.L.S.”

Loki said nothing, instead he turned around, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed, he looked like he was in deep concentration, then he slammed both hands onto the table, his face inches away from (Y/N)’s. Unpredictable, cunning, ambitious, willing to do anything to get what they want, charming. The Slytherin traits flashed through her mind, then something new was there.

“So it’s true.” He murmured. Eyes unfocused but darting around and taking in her face. “Your feelings for me are more than friendly.”

FUCK. He chuckled, then pushed away, smirking down at you, as you threw him from your mind. Non-verbally Summoning your wand and flicking it towards him, you Summoned his own wand and destroyed his glamour.

He looked stunned.

“Look, you little arse, I may like you, but that doesn’t mean I’m smitten, that I’ll do anything to get into your good graces, that I’m yours, it just means I will favour you when it comes to making decisions.”

“How very Slytherin of you….” The bastard was still smirking, but she couldn't help but feel a little charmed. He remained calm and was so… annoyingly good at keeping a cool head. The glamour started going up again, and (Y/N) hissed as she stepped forward, close enough so that they were nearly chest-to-chest. The glamour went permanently down as she bound his magic. Now the panic was starting to show. “What did you do?!” He growled.

“Oh, just a little thing that’s called blocking your magic.” This time she smirked, as he looked horrified. “I guess you can have this back, now that you can’t use your magic.”

“How am I to walk around without a glamour? They will all know I’m a monster.” He was livid, but couldn’t bring himself to punch her or to hurt her. Maybe he was getting too attached, he wasn’t sure, but he just couldn’t do it. Maybe he was impressed with her knowledge. No wonder she was his only true competition, she knew beyond her years. But that was her downfall, she was never focussed in class, so her grades always fell shorter than they could have been. Which is exactly why Loki wasn’t concerned about her being competition.

Until now.

“I will cast the glamour. Keep in mind I could let it fall at any time tonight.” He had no doubt that she had the magical stamina to keep it up all night, but what if she forgot about setting him free from these boundaries the next morning? How would he go through the days of school that she’ll most likely make him suffer through. “Let’s come to an agreement. I bind your magic until the morning, right after midnight, and you don’t reveal my feelings about you. I don’t want to be swamped by one of your little admiration clubs.”

“Admiration clubs is a mild way of putting it.” He told her sarcastically, and she smirked.

“Yeah. So do you agree?”

The answer required no thinking, it was a bargain at his end, but if he looked at it closely, she was just blackmailing him into not saying a peep.

Meanwhile, she was glad that she had learnt how to do that. She didn’t exactly understand how it worked, but she knew that his magic was bound, and it was incredibly draining, she was lucky that she hadn’t passed out now. Once she got back to the dorms, she’d black out. Hell, she might even black out on the way there. This was a mistake, but if it meant that he wouldn’t spread her secrets.

“No.”

Both of them thought the same thing at once, “Oh fuck that was a mistake.” (Y/N) was internally panicking, she didn’t know how long she could keep this up. The theory was that she imparted 50% of her magical core onto his, surrounding and binding his, meaning that she’d be on low power for a long time. It was like throwing her energy into a void. Which was not fun. At all. And Loki was just regretting the bargain. He could have had it all back, and it wasn’t like he was going to let the information get out any time soon. She was different. Maybe he could analyse her actions further and then figure out if she would be beneficial to start courting.

And maybe he fancied her a small smidge.

Just maybe.

But that didn’t mean he was about to do anything rash. He wasn’t going to run into this headstrong like his brother would, he would calculate whether or not he would gain anything from this.

“Are you sure?” (Y/N) breathed, stepping closer, eyes narrowing and she drew herself up, not letting him see her weakness and how close to collapsing she was.

“Yes.” He turned on his heel and sped out of there.

Her head was spinning, each breath felt strained and her lungs were constricted. Everything felt detached and her mouth no longer attached to her body, her head ready to fly off to the stars.

But that didn’t stop her. “Fine then, I won’t release your magic until you swear that you won’t let a single peep about this discussion out.” She hissed, loud enough for him to hear, but soft enough to sound like nothing to any bystanders.

If she had focussed her eyes enough, she would have seen Loki nod just the slightest, but by then colourful dots were dancing in her vision, head suddenly too heavy and arms feeling like lead, even if her legs weren’t suddenly numb, she wouldn’t have made her way to her dormitory.

Which was how Professor Slughorn found her unconscious in the morning.

By the time that (Y/N) came around, she saw Healer Helen Cho was speaking with Headmaster Fury. Well crap. From what she could gather, Loki had ratted her out and now everyone knew about her magic-binding curse. Which was probably illegal. Probably, she didn’t check the laws. You don’t necessarily care about laws when you were curious.

“So, (Y/N) is it?” Headmaster Fury swept towards her as soon as he noticed that she was awake.

“Yes, Headmaster.” She managed to get out. Even then, her head felt like it was full of cotton, with a beating drum in the middle, and instead of getting struck, it was getting thrown against the front of her head. Which wasn’t particularly nice.

“You have a visitor.” Healer Cho called out, and (Y/N) was about to snap back that the visitor was already here when Loki rounded the corner. His face was a blank mask, but a flicker of amusement appeared in his eyes, and disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.

“Ah, Loki, come here,” Fury didn’t need to turn his head to know that he was there. But he quickly focussed back onto (Y/N). “(Y/N), you’ve been out for around 14 hours, from what Loki has told us. While that’s a new school record, we’d love to know why or how you came to be so tired that you fall unconscious before even putting the potions away.” So apparently Loki hadn’t ratted her out. From what she could tell, his magic had returned, she was no longer being drained.

Unless he had, and Fury was testing to see if she would tell the truth.

“I did a magic-bind curse.” She whispered, eyes refusing Loki’s stunned green ones.

“And how did you know of this particular curse?” Fury’s voice rang out in the silent room.

(Y/N) hung her head, breaking eye contact with Loki. “The Restricted Section.” She responded slowly and quietly.

“While I’d love to give you detentions until Yuletide, I have to commend you. Loki here, tells me that you did it non-verbally and wandlessly. Is this true?”

“Yes.”

“How would you like to be put in a senior class for Charms and Defence Against Dark Arts?”

“I would love that, sir.”

“Then consider it done.” Loki started to protest, he hadn’t enjoyed the 14 hours that his magic was locked away and wanted to see her punished. “But that doesn’t mean you get to get away with this.” Loki smirked down at her, and (Y/N) glared up at him through her lashes.

“You two have to remained bound together by this for the next 24 hours. To keep the peace, it also doesn’t allow any malevolent thoughts or words to be spoken to each other, nor does it allow you to hex or jinx or curse each other. Understood?”

“Yes, Headmaster.” Loki and (Y/N) intoned solemnly in unison. Neither was pleased, but it was better than detentions until Yuletide. He clipped one of the charmed barcelets onto (Y/N)’s wrist, and then clipped the other one onto Loki’s wrist.

“Wait, sir, does that mean I have to miss the day’s classes because (Y/N) is going to bed-ridden?”

“Like hell I’m gonna be bed-ridden.” (Y/N) sat straight up, and instantly regretted it. The migraine got 200% worse and her vision blacked out for a second, but she swung her legs over the side and turned her head in the general direction of the Headmaster. After a second, when her vision had cleared, she stood up and stretched. The headache wasn’t going away any time soon, but neither was Loki. “Let’s go.”

“(Y/N), I suggest you go back to bed, and yes Loki, you will be stuck with her. You should choose whose classes will be attended today.” Something golden appeared in the headmaster’s hand and he tossed it over. It was a Time-Turner, but the sand was blue. “Be careful with the Tesseract.”

“Yes, Headmaster.” Loki looked almost excited, and (Y/N) groaned. Knowing Loki, he was going to either figure a way out of this or drag her everywhere. Because he now had the Tesseract, it was highly unlikely he would try to free her.

“Will you at least attempt to escape? Or try to figure out what sort of spell that Headmaster Fury is using?” (Y/N) asked him, her voice hard, and her face as blank as it could be as she was tied to her crush with a pounding headache that he (however indirectly) caused.

Loki looked at her like she was stupid. “Of course not, now that I have the Tesseract, I can finally defeat that little gang called The Avengers.” (Y/N) groaned, sitting down, head in her hands.

“You know what, you’re an asshole I don’t know why I like you so much.”

“Might be because I’m me.” Loki responded cockily, but when she glanced up at him, he looked slightly uncertain. Just the slightest. She wouldn’t be able to tell if he wasn’t so close all of a sudden.

Wait, when did he get so close? Why was he so close?? HOW WAS HE SO CLOSE???

“Isn’t that the reason why so many people hate me?” He whispered, and (Y/N) backed up a bit. At this rate, she’d blush, and she didn’t want to blush.

“So many? Sure. Whatever you say emo prince. Only the Avengers hate you, and that’s because you’re Thor’s little brother and you tried to become the Slytherin King, then take over all of Hogwarts. And that was the last time you had the Tesseract. I don’t know why Fury would give it to you again, but I sure as hell hope he has a back up plan.”

“So you don’t love me anymore?”

“Oh no, I do, but I won’t let my love for you define me.” She held her chin up defiantly, hoping that she didn’t look as scared or as intimidated as she felt.

Or as smitten.

“Interesting… you are different. Maybe I should keep you.” He leaned in again, at this point, he had his hands on either side of her hips where she sat on the bed. His face was mere centimetres away from hers, and she sucked in a sharp breath.

And then choked on how much it smelled like Loki. This was a bad idea this was a bad idea this was a bad idea. Abort mission abort mission abort mission. (Y/N) internally panicked and scooted so that she could slide off the bed on the other side, but Loki was in front of her when she tried to get away.

“Remember, (Y/N), we’re stuck together for the entire day, and then some, I have a few ideas on how we could spend that amount of time.” His grin was border-line devilish, and went straight to her heart, which meant panic. Then his eyes softened, and he held out his hands non-threateningly. “Look, I won’t do anything without your consent, I just… I don’t really know how to do this.”

“You don’t know how to do this?” (Y/N) was confused. What about all those stories where he had a dozen girlfriends at all times. “I thought you were a playboy?”

“Rumours.” He grinned. “Helps my popularity.”

(Y/N) snorted. “Sure it does, keep believing it and maybe it’ll come true.”

Loki took a slow step forward, and when (Y/N) didn’t move backwards, he stepped up to her and hugged her. “I believe that I could learn to love you. I believe that I could love you. I believe that I love you.” Loki whispered to her quietly, and she held him back.

It was all happening way too quickly, but at least she knew that Loki was here, Loki was real and he loved her back.

“Well then, Icicle boy, let’s get to class. We’re already late enough as it is. And no taking over the castle today, okay?”

“Okay, princess.” He grinned.

“Princess??” (Y/N) had no idea how to feel about the nickname.

“You’re my princess.” He told her, and pulled away, her hand in his. Maybe the day wouldn’t be too bad after all.

[writing-in-winter]

dream catcher (prologue)

three things that didn’t make sense until they did.

characters: tony stark x gifted!reader

word count: 2k

trigger warnings: depression, suicide

summary: you wanted a fresh start. you have it. but then the avengers find you, insisting that a life, which you have no recollection of, is yours.

a/n: i am finally posting a series, holy shit. i understand the prologue makes absolutely no sense, but hopefully, with the upcoming updates (i am finishing high school in two weeks hooray!) things start to become clear. in the prologue, y/n does not know she is gifted, because her memories has been locked away. also, i am blatantly ignoring canon *cough* especially iw and endgame *cough* (i’m too lazy to thoroughly proofread this because i have a paper to sit for tomorrow so feel free to slide into my inbox if you catch any mistakes. love y’all for reading!)

one—it is true when they say ‘what if’s haunt you forever.

you couldn’t remember the reason you were looking for tony, but you wished you hadn’t. it only reopened doors that you worked so hard to shut a long time ago. what despairs you the most is that it only took a short second to unwind the effort you had put in, for the insecurity and doubt to pour out of the tiny crack.

and then the emptiness you thought you had left behind for good comes rushing in all at once without a warning. it hits when you were crunching on cereals alone at the oversized island, which was meant to fit ten people comfortably.

most of the avengers are either away on a mission or had breakfast earlier that morning, and tony is… you look down at the cereal floating around in milk, frowning. you didn’t know where he is. when did that start?

you relish in the silence – it meant you need not bother with putting on a front and shrouding your unexplainable sadness from anyone – but after a while, it became deafening.

sliding into his audi, you draw your hand over the steering wheel, recalling the last time you drove this car. it was another aimless drive, but with tony in the passenger seat and you stepping on the gas on a lesser used road.

now, in his place is your bulky coat instead. it’s an complicated feeling. to hate the constant supervision, but wanting him with you. just the two of you alone, with no worries or fears for your safety or your unborn child’s.

for miles in the distance, all you can see is the white snow collecting on the dirty brown earth. finally, the car whirs to a stop at an abandoned park.

you just cannot resist the pull of it and the calm nature brings you, especially when you are alone.

the world lulls to a quiet hum as you drew the thick brown fabric closer to your body and wrapped your arms around your belly. your child. she wouldn’t be here if tony hadn’t insisted on keeping the accidental pregnancy. but as the months flew by, your love for your unborn daughter grew in size until it is rivaled only by your love for your fiance.

early winter is soft, though still a stark difference against the colors of spring. white blankets the ground, the arching tree branches, and everything in your vision. oh, how peaceful it is, to be away from any human and an extremely smart ai.

the silent supervision is suffocating at times, sending someone to assist you with the slightest of things when tony isn’t around. courtesy of him, no doubt. you had protested against the protocol, though you eventually relented, knowing that it gives tony some peace of mind when he isn’t near you.

how perfect would it be, if you could go back to the woman you were, free to roam the end of earth without anything or anyone holding you back? seemingly impossible, given the lengths of your love for tony, that you would leave him behind. but just for a moment, you imagine if you had never met him. perhaps you will still be the lone traveller, doing what you love in person.

you close your eyes, resting at the metal bench. just a minute, you told yourself. just a minute.

the steady beep emanating from the device beside you sends you gasping awake. the bright lights in the ceiling are blinding to your unfocused eyes, making you wince and twist away from it. wait, ceiling?

it is white all around, but for a minute you couldn’t get your eyesight straight. you curse at the contact lens which probably slid when you were asleep. heavy breaths run through your lungs, working, pushing, to make sure you stay alive. tony appears in the clear vision in your right eye, eyes lined with worry and rubbing your back in a soothing manner.

“i think the left contact lens slipped to the back.” you blink, slightly panicked at the sure ache at the back of your eye. your fingers make to force the lens out, but he grips your hand and tells you to lie down as he calls for a nurse. ah, so the compound med bay then.

shortly after the contact lens issue is resolved and the doctor on duty successfully convinced tony for the hundredth time that ‘no, sir, ms (y/n) is not experiencing frostbite’, you move back to your quarters.

apparently, instead of a minute, you had fallen asleep at the park, for two whole hours. you feel guilty for being a constant worry on his mind, promising to check in with him whenever you left the compound. you just didn’t realise the extent of the damage done until vision phases into the garage as you unlock a car.

he is a terrible actor. you knew FRIDAY sent him, but still, you listen as he asks to accompany you to wherever you are going because he needed to get something from the grocery store. you lie that you are simply retrieving your belongings left in the car.

that is when you knew you wouldn’t be leaving the building without supervision anytime soon. it shouldn’t suffocate you as much as it does.

two—it is true when they say family hurts you the most.

his lab is locked. again. FRIDAY confirms that tony is in there, but she isn’t allowed to let you enter the workspace.

you would ask her to connect you to tony, but he had been snappy lately. the sadness was gaining too, and normally you would be outside, soaking in the vastness of nature. you had long since gave up trying to sneak out the building by yourself. it is annoying and embarrassing for FRIDAY to keep sending people to find you. once, steve caught you as you were descending the emergency staircase with your pajamas on underneath the winter coat. with FRIDAY watching, you don’t even know why you are trying at all.

talking to tony about his protocols is a dead end. the last time you attempted to sweet talk him into lifting his most recently added protocol, it ended with him giving you the silent treatment for two days straight.

too tired to argue with anyone, even FRIDAY, you made to leave. you decided an early dinner with yourself would be nice. maybe some wine.

the kitchen is eerily silent without your playlists humming in the background. ironically, it brings you some peace. what a horrible resonance, reflecting your state of mind. when will this end?

you hobble around the wide kitchen for a little bit, bringing out the pot and the utensils you needed to make soup. loud clicks that must have came from stiletto heels make you look up from your chopping board.

you break into a smile at the sight of your best friend waving the bouquet of tulips at you. she wraps you into a tight hug, exclaiming her wonder at how far along you were in your pregnancy. pulling back to actually look at you after kissing your cheek, she frowns.

“i’m bloated, i know” you laugh for the first time in forever, accepting the bouquet from her.

caressing the indigo petals, and just relishing in the beauty of the tulips, you thank her. it has been so long since you have set foot outside that you miss the feelings of fresh morning dew on grass under your feet so badly.

you place the tulips on the countertop, careful not to squish any of the buds. it is a little hard to bend with the large baby bump, but you manage alright to bend and open the lower cupboard where you stored your vases.

your favorite china vase with tiny red buds dotted along the blue vines is missing. a frown sets itself on your brows as you purse your lips and straighten your back with a hand supporting your lower back. you begin to rummage through the rest of the cupboard.

“are you looking for this one?” she passes you the vase you are looking for.

you huff good-naturedly but exasperatedly. “tony loves misplacing my things.”

“oh, it isn’t his fault, i bought a new vase for the flowers he got the other day and i had no idea where to keep this one here.” she leans over you standing at the sink and fills the vase with water.

you are still standing there stunned by her seemingly offhand comment. “when?”

“like last last week? i can’t remember.”

“oh.” the smile is forced this time around. you pretend as if everything was alright. as if you are not bitter about tony blowing you off for someone else. everything is fine.

“friday, can you ask tony if he is joining us for lunch?”

you pray she hadn’t replied in a heartbeat before friday could respond. “he’s going out.” was she in there while i am locked out?

the ground is ripped from under you in an instant. you are drowning, struggling for air, but everything is fine.

three—it is true when they say truth kills.

he had been tip-toeing around you for two months now. and he doesn’t look at you the same. maybe it’s been awhile, but you only started to notice after your best friend paid you a visit that day.

to be so familiar with your kitchen, you gather, she had to have been over frequently. more frequent than you know of anyway.

it hurts. it physically hurts. to see him look at her with even a fraction of that glint that was once reserved for you. and only you.

you should have known better. you should have trusted that pit of darkness rolling in your belly. no man can be trusted. and yet, you maintain the facade.

the torture of knowing and seeing the man you love fall for another when he has promised you forever was an unending agony. death may be your only reprieve, but even then, would he allow you to be free?

would you allow yourself to be free of him?

pretending feels like the only way you seem in control of your life.

so you pretend. you pretend you didn’t mind when he said he is taking her sightseeing around New York City. you pretend you didn’t see him taking her out to the most expensive restaurant on the magazine cover. you pretend you didn’t see his hand on her thigh during dinner. you pretend and pretend and pretend.

and when you saw him kissing her on the driveway, you pretend.

as if every single day, every waking moment, even in your sleep, every breath you take, fire isn’t burning you alive. as if you aren’t hollowed out by the lies you are both making. as if the cursed image isn’t burned into the back of your eyelids, haunting you whenever you close your eyes.

it is a burning hell with no end in sight. no peace to be had. and you just wanted it to end. you wanted to start over. and maybe, just maybe, you can run away and never look back before this drives you insane.

but the only way you will be able to truly leave is through death. because he will never let you leave.

so you wait. you play by his suffocating protocols until you forgot what it felt like to be free. you smile and nod until your love turned to resentment and finally, acceptance. you lie and say you dreamt of him dying when all you see when you close your eyes is him kissing her and fucking her like his life depended on it. you smile through the pain and the rot of your former self until you can no longer tell the difference between hallucination and reality.

you pretend everything is fine when nothing is.

everything will be alright. you hug steve, who accompanied you on your daily walk. then, with his back facing you, looking for your phone that you dropped on purpose, a real smile graces your tired face for the first time in months.

you plunge down the cliff laughing.

reblog previous chapter to be automatically tagged in next chapter. (you will be tagged in one if you reblogged prologue, and two if you reblogged one, etc.) i do not keep a taglist.

[explodingcrenelation]

Tony Stark and the Messianic Archetype in Avengers: Endgame

* * * * * S P O I L E R S ahead for Avengers: Endgame * * * * *

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From a purely analytical standpoint, I don’t have anything against Tony’s character arc in Endgame culminating with his death. His last moments in the heat of battle weren’t rushed, poorly written, or unearned. If Tony Stark was going to die on screen, of course he’d do it like a goddamn badass—and he did.

At this point Marvel is telling a single story to millions upon millions of people and there’s no way they can craft a narrative to suit every single person. When I say Tony's death didn’t work for me, I do so knowing that Marvel wasn’t writing the story for me anyway. And I'm not trying to disparage the creative team's efforts and storytelling choices. They made a call. I don’t agree it was the right one.

For me, Tony’s death traps him inside a Messianic Archetype that doesn’t elevate his character in a wholly satisfying way and doesn’t fit the themes of the established, team-centric universe. In this essay I will…

…actually write a fucking 4000-word essay, so buckle up and read on if you’re in for the ride.

What Is the Messianic Archetype?

The Messianic Archetype is a messiah trope. It’s exactly what it sounds like—one person (usually (but not always) white, usually (but not always) male) who sacrifices themselves for the greater good. 

Here’s how TV Tropes puts it: 

In media, the Messianic Archetype is a character whose role in the story (but not necessarily personality) echoes that of Christ. They are portrayed as a savior, whether the thing they are saving is a person, a lot of people or the whole of humanity. They endure a sizable sacrifice as the means of bringing that salvation about for others, a fate they do not deserve up to and including death or a Fate Worse than Death. Other elements may be mixed and matched as required but the Messianic Archetype will include one or more of the following:

- The Chosen One. - True Companions who follow him. - Betrayal by one of those followers. - Persecution by nonbelievers. - Crucified Hero Shot (or other parallels to the Passion Play). - Figurative or literal resurrection. - A Second Coming. - The initials JC.

Some examples of Messianic Archetypes in popular narratives are: Gandalf in Lord of the Rings, Spock in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (or Kirk in Star Trek: Into Darkness), Harry Potter in The Deathly Hallows, Superman in Batman vs Superman, or Neo in the Matrix trilogy. The Doctor in Doctor Who is frequently and repeatedly presented as a messiah figure. Multiple incarnations of Sherlock also follow suit in multiple imaginings of the the Reichenbach Falls scenario. (I won’t go into details with any of these characters. I trust the Messianic Archetypes here are obvious to anyone familiar with these stories.) 

In the Marvel Cinematic Universe itself, we see Messianic Archetypes popping up all over the place—like daisies! Steve plays this part when he sacrifices himself in The First Avenger to stop Red Skull's plan to bomb several major American cities. His time in the ice is a kind of death from which he is subsequently “resurrected” in modern day New York. To a lesser extent, he also offers himself up as a sacrifice to save Bucky in The Winter Soldier. 

T’Challa follows this pattern in Black Panther when he’s betrayed by W’Kabi, defeated by Killmonger, and subsequently resurrected within the safety of M’Baku’s tribe. 

In the first Thor movie, Thor is betrayed by Loki, sacrifices himself to the Destroyer to protect his human friends, and he comes back from near-death with the return of Mjölnir, having proven himself worthy of the hammer. 

Carol Danvers destroys Mar-Vell’s engine in Captain Marvel to keep enemies from getting their hands on tech that could harm millions of innocent people. Her human life symbolically ends in the subsequent explosion, and she’s effectively reborn with superpowers.

Pepper Potts is betrayed by her former colleague Killian in Iron Man 3, selected as his “chosen one” for the Extremis injection, and she dies and is reborn from fire.

Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2—

Well, I could go on for a long time, but... you get the idea. 

The Messianic Archetype isn’t particularly new to popular media, let alone the MCU. 

This trope is deeply, almost subconsciously, woven into the fabric of popular western storytelling. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Tropes are tropes for a reason—they speak to us on a cultural and instinctual level. We want to hear these stories over and over, replay them in new ways and look at them from different angles precisely because there is something meaningful in the narrative. 

And Tony Stark's narrative is no exception. His repeated acts of self-sacrifice fit into the Messianic Archetype very, very well.

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Proof That Tony Stark Has a Heart

The MCU kicked off in 2008 with the first Iron Man movie and Tony Stark has ostensibly been the main character of the franchise from the beginning. 

The Iron Man movies establish early on that Tony has a savior complex to match the size of his ego. Our genius playboy billionaire philanthropist is a deeply flawed hero who started out his career as a maker of WMDs. He was widely known as “The Merchant of Death” before he saw the error of his ways. Tony understands he has done many Bad Things and he must atone for those Bad Things—with his life, if necessary.

“I shouldn’t be alive, unless it was for a reason. ... I finally know what I have to do and I know in my heart that it’s right.” —Tony Stark, Iron Man

The first Iron Man movie climaxes with Tony ordering Pepper to blow the Arc Reactor to stop Stane’s rampage, even though Tony might perish in the process. In Iron Man 2, Tony is actively dying from palladium poisoning, but he faces down Vanko (sans Iron Man suit) on the speedway of the Monaco Historic Grand Prix. In the first Avengers movie, we see Tony put his life on the line to get a nuclear weapon out of New York.

This is a repeated pattern for Tony, and like an addict, it’s one he struggles to break. Over and over Tony flings himself into the fray, believing he’s the one who makes the difference—he’s the willing sacrifice whose blood saves the world. 

Tony selects himself to be “the chosen one” because he sees himself as the one at fault for bringing evil into the world. 

“We create our own demons. Who said that? What does that even mean? Doesn’t matter, I said it cause he said it. ...So why am I telling you this? Because I had just created demons, and I didn’t even know it.” —Tony Stark, Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 shows us just how deeply responsible Tony feels for the wrongs of the world. Because he made naive (and selfish) mistakes when he was young, Tony blames himself for creating villains that plague the earth now. 

We see this best in the aftermath of the destruction of Tony’s mansion in Malibu. 

“Pepper, it’s me. I’ve got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time. So first off, I’m so sorry I put you in harm’s way. That was selfish and stupid and it won’t happen again. ...And I’m sorry in advance because I can’t come home yet. I need to find this guy. You got to stay safe. That’s all I know.” —Tony Stark, Iron Man 3

Yes, Tony absolutely provoked the Mandarin, a known terrorist, and the result is the complete annihilation of Tony’s home. Tony accepts responsibility for the destruction as though he was the one who shot the missiles himself. He goes so far as to volunteer himself for a solo mission to find the Mandarin without even bothering to contact SHIELD or the Avengers for help. He made this mess, he’s going to clean it up. All the while he suffers through crippling anxiety and panic attacks, demonstrating that the burden he’s put on his own shoulders is, in fact, too much for him to handle by himself. Still, Tony denies himself the comforts of home and family until he can atone for his wrongdoings.

Miraculously, Iron Man 3 gives Tony a respite when the tables are turned and, for once, Tony is the one ultimately saved by Pepper. After her rescue (pun intended), Tony gives up the armor, commits to having the shrapnel taken out of his chest, and he starts rebuilding the literal ruins of his life—both physical and metaphorical.

The respite doesn’t last, of course, because recovery doesn’t go in a straight line—oh, and also the franchise isn’t over and the MCU kinda needs Iron Man. And so Tony slides back into familiar, self-destructive patterns. 

"Few years ago, I almost lost [Pepper], so I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to muck up Hydra. And then Ultron. My fault. And then, and then, and then. I never stopped. 'Cause the truth is, I don't wanna stop.” —Tony Stark, Civil War

Tony taking on the mantle of the Messianic Archetype once more in Endgame falls perfectly in line with his established need to compulsively and perpetually atone for his sins. As a perfectionist who needs to assuage his guilt for his ongoing (and perceived) failures, Tony simply can’t stop himself from offering up his life in penance. Statistically it was bound to catch up with him, and in Endgame it does.

And not only does Tony give his life in true Messianic fashion, we are “treated” to a hyper-realistic and painfully extended sequence where his life drains out of him as his loved ones gather to witness him gasping out his last breath. (Thanks for that, by the way, Marvel. I’ll put this scene with the dead baby bunnies my childhood cat used to bring home as gifts. How thoughtful.)

Maybe the reason for the intensity of Tony’s death scene is to make the audience believe his death is the Real Thing, not some comic-book-superhero-movie trickery that he’ll be back from in a few minutes’ time. Perhaps it’s the only way to ensure we commit to the emotional depth of the moment. Perhaps the filmmakers see it as an homage to RDJ’s acting talent and commitment to the role. Regardless of the rationale behind the camera’s unflinching gaze, Tony’s excruciating death hammers home the brutal and lonely reality of the Messianic Archetype: it’s cruel to put the fate of the world on one person’s shoulders. 

But Tony embraces that end. He throws himself into the machinery of fate, convinced he’s the cog that will make it all work. 

And he does make it work. 

So why is that a problem?

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The Team-Oriented Universe

The problem with Tony doubling (tripling? quadrupling?) down on the Messianic Archetype at the apex of the franchise is that the MCU is an ensemble, team-oriented universe. 

“You think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe, you just don't know it yet." —Nick Fury, Iron Man

Fury tells us from the get-go that Tony isn’t the be-all-end-all of the MCU. It’s possible for Tony—for them all—to become something greater than the sum of their parts. 

“There was an idea, Stark knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more.” —Nick Fury, Avengers

The entire first Avengers movie is dedicated to establishing this premise, to getting these knuckleheads to work together because, alone, they’re too wrapped up in their own bullshit to adequately deal with the forces that threaten the planet. Things don’t start to go right for them until they set aside their personal issues and act as a unit. 

As we all know, our team passes the test and they establish an important principle of the MCU: teamwork is powerful and it’s more effective than working solo. 

True, Tony’s self-sacrifice in the context of the Battle of New York helps save the day; but it’s only one part of a coordinated effort. Tony chucking the nuke into space would have been pointless without the added efforts of Steve to coordinate civilian safety, Hawkeye to relay enemy movements, Thor to separate Loki from the scepter, Natasha to close the portal, and Hulk to subdue Loki and ultimately catch Tony as he fell from the wormhole. The team achieved a better outcome together than they each could have achieved separately. 

But even in the shared afterglow of winning the Battle of New York, the individual members of the team struggle to perfect their dynamic. New challenges present themselves. There’s always room for the team to grow and become stronger together as the franchise progresses. That’s the whole point. 

Tony, for his part, waffles back and forth between his desire to be the savior mechanic (to fix everything by himself) and his desire to work cooperatively with his found-family of superheroes for the common good. This internal conflict plays out over the course of the franchise as Tony takes on the Mandarin by himself in Iron Man 3. The issue then escalates in Age of Ultron when Tony convinces Bruce to help him create Ultron, unbeknownst to the rest of the team. Murder-bot problems and team drama ensue. Tony’s cycle of guilt perpetuates itself in the wake of the disaster in Sokovia, which prompts Tony to adopt the Sokovia Accords. He submits himself and the team to UN governance in Civil War. More team drama ensues.

The logical progression of this escalating team conflict should have involved Tony confronting his deep-seated compulsion to destroy himself for the sake of others. This is exactly the problem Pepper keeps trying to point out to him—his Messianic tendencies have started to cause more problems than they solve. 

“There is nothing except this. ... There's the next mission, and nothing else.” —Tony Stark, Iron Man

Tony has struggled from the beginning to find the right balance between personal sacrifice and sharing team effort. 

Pepper frequently tries to remind Tony that he doesn’t live alone in the world, he can’t do it all by himself. And there are people who want him to live. 

“You’re all I have, too, you know.” —Pepper Potts, Iron Man

Imagine how emotionally satisfying it would have been to see Tony outgrow his need for sacrificial penance and internalize a better lesson: that the savior can be saved, the burden can be shared, and life can go on. 

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A Better Ending for Tony

The MCU had the perfect opportunity to give us an ending that would be happier for Tony and a better fit for a team-centric universe. 

In Guardians of the Galaxy we see Peter Quill and his team survive the power of an Infinity Stone by working together to share the burden of its energy. 

Peter Quill is the son of a Celestial—he’s basically immortal up until the end of Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. That’s why he and his team could hold the stone without any ill effects. 

Also, they only had to channel the power of one stone. Not six. 

That’s a fair point. 

But by the time Tony had all of the Infinity Stones in Endgame, the battlefield was chock full of all kinds of superheroes. Wanda and Carol by themselves are  embodiments of two of the Infinity Stones. Hulk had managed to bear all of the stones by himself earlier in the movie. Steve, T’challa, and Bucky are enhanced super soldiers. Thor, Valkyrie, and the other Asgardians might not be Celestials, but they are gods—and there were a lot of them on that field.

And we’re supposed to believe none of these characters could offer any help to Tony whatsoever? None of them could hold Tony’s hand for a single minute to save his life?

There are plenty of arguments that could be made: Tony was too fast, no one knew what was happening, or everyone else was occupied in battle. But at the end of the day, it’s a choice the creative team made. Tony died because they wanted him to die. 

And not much would have to change to save his life. 

Imagine this: Tony gets the stones from Thanos and, in true Messianic Archetype fashion, he commits to making the snap, fully expecting it means his death—but then Pepper is there and Pepper has always been the one asking Tony to stop offering up his life to pay for some imaginary debt he thinks he owes. He hesitates, and it’s just long enough for Carol and Wanda swoop in, putting their hands on him and taking the brunt of the energy. Thor and Steve and Bruce and Clint pile on. Peter Parker links up, too, and on and on until the entire rest of the team, all across the battlefield, are in contact with each other and alight with power, channeling the energy of the six stones, keeping Thanos and his monsters at bay. 

Tony can still have his ultra-badass “I am Iron Man” moment as he stands at the center of this surging and fluxing cosmic energy—but this time he does it with support. There are people who care about him (and each other) on all sides. And there are so many of them. Tony isn’t the only one who matters, he’s just the lynch pin that holds it all together. 

Tony is Iron Man. 

More importantly? Together they’re all the Avengers. 

*SNAP*

The universe is set right.

Maybe Tony doesn’t escape entirely unscathed. Maybe he loses his arm as suggested by this post. Maybe the others all leave with their own scars, too. But Tony’s alive and he’s finally, deeply aware of what it means to transcend the limits of personal sacrifice and share the hero’s burden with others. 

He knows now exactly what the Avengers are capable of. Oh, and by the way? That protective shield he wanted around the world in Age of Ultron? Here they all are. All these wonderful, powerful people are going to protect the Earth. And you know what? They don’t need Tony Stark’s myopic self-sacrifice to do it. 

Tony finally feels like he’s done enough—and maybe now he believes there are other heroes out there who can do better than he can. Anyway, he gets to go home to Morgan and Pepper and he finds that it’s not so hard for him to let the new kids do the tough jobs now. He happily goes back to his role as “consultant” for the Avengers, he’s a mad inventor helping change the world for the better, and he also gets to have the long adventure of being a husband and a dad. He doesn’t have to choose one identity over the other—he’s Iron Man. He can redefine what the job means whenever he wants to.

(Also, he finds a way to rescue Nat because she didn’t deserve to be fridged like that. Just saying.)

This ending, or any number of variations like it, would have allowed Tony to finally show real growth at the end of his character arc, instead of succumbing to the same old self-destructive pattern we've seen from him time and time again. And it would have reinforced the theme of teamwork and its power to elevate all those who participate. 

Maybe it’s cheesy, but you know what? It’s the ending I wanted. I know I’m not alone. 

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Tony’s Not Really Dead, You Say? 

“There’s no need to be upset about Tony’s death,” some might say. “Tony’s gonna come back!” 

Resurrection is a huge part of the Messianic Archetype—and it might be that the filmmakers do intend to bring Tony back in some later movie. It might be they simply want Tony’s death in Endgame to sit a little while longer so it has a greater impact. (Gotta push for that best picture Oscar, right? The Oscars hate superhero movies, but they do love a sad ending.)

While I’m wishing for things, maybe Marvel will also release the multiple alternate endings they filmed for Endgame, essentially creating a “choose your own adventure.” Maybe we’ll all be able to pick the ending we like best and forget the rest exist. 

But I can’t make a judgement based on what might be, I can only say how I feel based on what we were given in the theater—for all intents and purposes, that’s the official story Marvel wants to share. 

The Endgame narrative insists there’s only one possible path to victory against Thanos. The “one possible path” is basically the equivalent of the creative team saying, “Don’t @ me.” There certainly must have been an impossible number of endings they could have put on film. Tony’s death is the one they picked. 

So, sorry for @ing you, Marvel, I guess, but there’s just one more point I want to make...

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A Personal Note

RDJ acted the hell out of Tony's final scene. He acted the hell out of the whole franchise. Tony's death was powerful and intensely moving. I wanted to ugly cry in the lobby after the movie was over, and I was upset for days after. 

So. Good job, Marvel. You got in some surprises and you wrung out some feelings from viewers like me. Now that the movie’s taken the world by storm, the surprises will play themselves out. So, I guess the big question is: Will audiences want to revisit this adventure and the feelings you ultimately left them with? 

For me? My reluctant answer is: no. I don’t want to see Infinity War or Endgame again. Not really. Not in their entirety. I didn’t mind the slog through Infinity War in 2018 because I thought, Hey, maybe this is leading to an ultimately happy and satisfying conclusion for these characters I care about so much. And, to be fair—right up until the last 15 minutes of Endgame, I was ready to say, “All’s forgiven.” 

There’s this thing in storytelling called “payoff.” It’s when you deliver a satisfying resolution or fulfillment to your audience after they commit to your narrative journey. Payoff can be extraordinarily subjective, so, again, I acknowledge that there’s no way to please everyone. 

For me, there’s no reward in the resolution of Endgame that makes the slog to its conclusion worth it. Tony’s ending is so needlessly sacrificial, so unnecessarily brutal, that it erases much of the enjoyment I otherwise had in watching the entire rest of the film. 

Don’t get me wrong. I like sad movies and scary movies in their own context. I like them when I can choose them and know that’s what I'm getting myself into. Sometimes I want the catharsis of being utterly terrified or brought to tears. Sometimes we need stories to give us the chance to feel deep and scary emotions in a safe environment. That’s an important function of creative work.

And, I mean, truly, Endgame gave us some great acting, great effects. Amazing talent. Really fun and creative moments. I’m not trying to disparage all the work that went into its making. 

But I feel like someone took me in a limo to a high-class restaurant to eat caviar and watch sad arthouse theater when all I really wanted was to go into town with my friends for some ice cream and a fun movie. 

I didn’t need rainbow-colored sprinkles on my ending, but something a bit sweeter would have been nice. So, well done, Marvel. But also—no, thank you. 

As it stands, Endgame was too bitter for my taste.

[dannydevitosheight]

Steve Rogers Character Arc

I just saw Endgame 4/25 but I’ll queue this post for a later date so I’m not putting out huge spoilers so soon. And this post is not to say I hated Endgame. I really really enjoyed it. Experiencing all those incredible bad ass moments with a theater full of people who were cheering and clapping and as excited as I was...that's something special that's going to stick with me forever. And I'm grateful for it.

This post is about Steve Rogers in Endgame. And to a lesser extent, Bucky Barnes since, let's be honest, he had almost no role in that movie at all.

I just. Really really need to talk about this.

In part, so I can come to terms with this but also because it really hurts so much seeing so many people thinking Steve's ending was perfect and in character.

And before anything let me make this very clear:

I'm a HUGE Steve Rogers Stan and I want his happiness

I also wanted his character arc end to make some sense

I am also a HUGE Bucky Stan and yes,

I am A   H U G E Stucky Stan and I’m really genuinely trying to be unbiased.

Because, I knew Stucky was never going to be canon, but I’m still deeply deeply disappointed in how Steve’s character arc came to and end.

And it’s NOT just because he didn’t end up with Bucky. Although leaving Bucky like he did is a big part of it. It's not because of what I always wanted them to be. It’s so much more than that.

Watching Endgame was, hard, for so many reasons. There were so many wonderful moments like HOLY SHIT STEVE PICKING UP THE HAMMER. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. And some really fucking awful moments like Clint and Nat fighting over who is going to commit suicide and the softness in Nat’s voice before she let go. And of course...Tony. 💔

But Steve’s arc destroyed me. I’ve been a Steve Rogers stan since forever. Everything his character represents, comics or film, has made a huge impact on me. Always been on Team Cap in every version of Civil War. I’ve been in love with MCU Steve Rogers and his character arc. Until Endgame.

I’m not saying I don’t think he deserved to live a happy life with Peggy,

but...why did he need that?

The First Avenger: Steve rescued the 107th, to get Bucky back. 

Steve wanted to destroy Hydra, for what they stood for, but also because of what they did to Bucky. 

Steve, liked Peggy. Obviously. But what really was their relationship? A powerful attractive woman who kissed him one time? I mean, Steve buddy I get the initial boner but how much substance did their relationship really have in comparison to Steve's relationship to Bucky?

I don't even mean romantically. I mean if I had to choose between my best friend since childhood and a hot guy I've known for a few months...I would pick my best friend? Every time? Wouldn't you? And wouldn't that be a perfectly understandable choice?

But, moving on, in the end of TFA we obviously know Steve sacrifices himself for the greater good.

Avengers: Steve just, did what needed to be done.

He didn’t really have specific motivation at this time aside from his own strong morality and wanting to do the right thing.

The Winter Soldier: Steve has a hard time knowing what he’s fighting for...until he found out Bucky was alive.

After that, everything  was about getting Bucky to remember, and making Hydra pay for what they’d done. To Steve. To Bucky. Once his mission was complete, Steve dropped his shield for Bucky. He literally was going to let Bucky kill him, because he was that goddamn dedicated to sticking with Bucky until the end of the line. The ship doesn’t matter. This is just canon. Steve was willing to die. Just for Bucky this time.

This wasn't for the greater good. It wasn't to end Hydra this time. He already did that. He was literally willing to die...for Bucky, and Bucky only.

Also, for emphasis:

"Even when I had nothing I had Bucky."

"It's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience."

(Not 20 minutes later who does Steve meet? Bucky, with pretty damn similar shared life experience)

"Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with ya to the end of the line."

Also, Steve has the hots for Sharon. Peggy's great niece. But he doesn't even know that. So like he just likes a woman that isn't Peggy. So. That's a thing.

Age of Ultron: Steve specifically states he doesn’t want a domestic life. After he has that weird stress vision about dancing with Peggy.

I don’t. UNDERSTAND. WHY. That was pART OF HIS CHARACTER ARC WHEN HE WAS JUST. GOING TO HAVE THAT ANYWAYS BUT OKAY.

Civil War: Steve literally did everything in this movie For Bucky.

"He remembered you, you know. Your pal. Your buddy. Your Bucky."

"He said 'Bucky' and it was like I was 16-year-old again in Brooklyn."

"Why did you pull me from the river?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"I'm sorry, Tony. He's my friend."

And for the second time!!!!, Steve abandoned his shield for Bucky. I don’t know what else to say. He did it all for Bucky. I’m. Do you still think it makes sense for Steve to go back to Peggy? Shall I press further?

Oh right, remember how he buried Peggy in that movie, found out Sharon was her great niece and made out with her? Like. Okay. We all hated that but they were trying to say SOMETHING about Steve's love life. And it sure as hell wasn't that he was gonna leave everything for Peggy but alright.

Infinity War: Bucky was shown to be dusted first to show the tragedy and significance of this loss through Steve’s eyes. The Russos stated this. Steve sits in Bucky’s ashes. “Oh god.” 

Endgame: Steve literally doesn’t even talk about Bucky. Ever. He says his name once to shock his past self.

When everyone comes back, Steve and Bucky don’t even get to have a reunion. Tony reunites with Peter, and Doctor Strange. Rocket reunites with Groot. Okoye shows up with T’Challa and Shuri. Later on, Wanda and Clint have a moment, a call back to Age of Ultron. Why didn’t Steve reunite with Bucky? Or at least with Sam?! The whole movie was about those lost five years ago and Steve like doesn't even give a shit about both of his best friends coming back from the dead. In fact, the entire movie focused on Steve’s loss over Peggy, who died in Civil War. And yet he talks about being unable to move on from the loss of the snap? Are you serious? They don’t even allow or show ANY grieving over Sam or Bucky. We’ve already grieved over Peggy. He already moved on and dated Sharon. So why the fuck is SHE Steve’s focus and motivation again? Why doesn't he talk about Bucky or Sam AT ALL? Tony mentions "I lost the kid" Steve doesn't even mention watching Bucky die a second time. Like okay would have loved to see how he moved on from that and straight back into Peggy, somehow. But alright.

This literally came out of NO WHERE and SERVES NO PURPOSE other than to reduce Peggy's character to be a boner motivator for Steve and to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that this entire time, Steve Rogers always has been and always will be a Straight Man.

In a story telling sense, it makes ZERO sense!! Steve’s character arc went from him being a morally strong self sacrificing fool to a deeply depressed man who didn’t want to be with anyone that didn’t have “shared life experience.” He found that. He found Bucky. The nature of the relationship doesn’t matter, it’s incredibly strong. That's been painfully obvious since TWS.

EVEN IF they were meant to be something like brothers, Steve should have stayed with Bucky. It seemed like the entire arc of both their characters was leading to them both getting rest together. Steve sacrificed everything in Civil War to save Bucky, so Bucky could start recovering and so that they could just, be a family together. So they could stop fighting and live quietly together. Chris Evans has talked so much about his character in conjunction with Bucky. How Bucky is Steve’s family. And Sebastian Stan has even stated the one thing that keeps Bucky from committing suicide is Steve. And Steve just. Leaves him. Leaves all of his family, who should arguably mean more to him than one girl he kissed one time in his past.

Is it a nicely wrapped up ending? Yes, I guess. But honestly, seriously, why was it NECESSARY? THERE were a millions ways Steve could still have a happy peaceful ending that didn't have to involve him leaving all of these people for one woman.

I feel cheated. This cut deep. I’m not going to lie. No interaction with Steve and Bucky expect a hug, repeated lines from TFA, and a pained, “I’m really going to miss you man,” from Bucky. We don't even get to see Bucky talk to Steve as an old man. That fucking hurts. We at LEAST deserved that.

Because he knew Steve was going to go back and marry Peggy. And that Steve was going to give up the mantle of Captain America. And I believe because Bucky told Sam to talk to Steve, Steve had already shared his intentions with Bucky before he went back in time. Which is nice but means nothing having it all happen off screen. I’m sure Steve wanted Bucky to be Captain America but he insisted Sam should take up the mantle. Probably because Bucky doesn't want to fucking fight anymore and was still recovering when he was asked to fight in Infinity War. Of course Steve wouldn't put this burden on him but why would he leave him? Steve was Bucky's closest friend, essentially his main support. Someone who could help him remember his old life and someone who could somewhat understand his trauma. No one else can be that person for Bucky. No one. Not even Sam. Sam wasn't there for Bucky's entire life. Steve was. And he just fucking left.

It's like. They gave Steve this arc across several films. One that broke down his faith in society and systems and pushed him closer to Bucky. And it's like. The Russo's (mainly) created this, really beautiful relationship between two men, two friends...but when it got too close to being possibly homosexual they had to drive a wedge between the two, one so wide there's no chance for any subtext to be there anymore, and no chance for us to assume Steve could be anything other than ramrod straight for Peggy and Peggy Only except Sharon That One or Two Times I Guess.

Steve Stans, wouldn't you say this ending is at least a little tiny bit unfair?! Have we all been watching the same movies? Going on the same journey with Steve Rogers? Regardless of your ships, you can't possibly deny the strength of Steve's bond with Bucky. How does it make sense for him to leave Bucky like this? How does it make sense for Steve to never mention him even once in Endgame?? WHY DOES IT MAKE SENSE FOR STEVE TO SUDDENLY REKINDLE HIS FEELINGS FOR PEGGY WHEN HE WAS SHOWN TO HAVE MOVED ON?!??

I literally. Don't. Understand. At all. How any of y'all. Can think. This makes sense?!

The Russo's Did Steve and Bucky Fucking Dirty in the End and Y'all Know it's True.

They queerbaited us. Okay. They did. They think having a gay extra makes up for it. Well it fucking doesn't. Because you know what else? I have one last thing. One last beef. The thing that really ripped my heart to shreds:

Remember, back in Winter Soldier, when Steve flirted with Sharon and she says "Oh and I think you left your stereo on?" And Steve is like oh thank you. And it's Fury playing a record on a loop. Remember the song? It was the only actual song on TWS sound track besides Trouble Man. It's called It's Been a Long, Long Time, and it's about lovers reuniting after WWII. That song plays just as Steve unknowingly meets Bucky for the first time since WWII. There is nothing to indicate Peggy in this scene. Fury plays the record. Fury gets shot. Steve pursues the shooter (Bucky).

And just before he does that, if you listen closely, with headphones, the song fades in and out at specific moments. These are the specific lyrics the sound designers chose to have audible enough to hear: "Kiss me once...long, long time...haven't felt like this my dear since...you'll never know how many dreams I dreamed about you...just how empty...without you."

The sound designers, editors, directors, make choices such as these to add depth to the film. These are the lyrics they chose from a song about lovers meeting after WWII during a scene were Steve (unknowingly) meets Bucky again for the first time since WWII.

And then they. Had the audacity. To end Endgame. With Steve dancing to that song. With Peggy. When they know what they fucking did in TWS. The sound design was very intentional. The scene they did that for was intentional. I can't possibly think of any other reason or way that scene and song would tie back to Peggy other than what that song is written about. But they KNOW that applies to both Steve and Peggy and Steve and Bucky.

The Russo's have been queerbaiting the fandom. And the more popular Stucky became, the more they tried to take it away from us. And when we pointed out how insanely strong and well developed Steve and Bucky's relationship was, they made sure Steve would never ever be considered bi again. They made sure to prove to us Steve's love for Bucky wasn't stronger than a sexual/romantic love for a woman. And in doing so they ruined Steve's character arc. They just did.

And before I get people upset with me, accusing me of hating Steve or wanting Steve to be unhappy...

If it was switched.

If Peggy and Steve were friends since childhood, if Peggy was kidnapped, experimented on, if Peggy was the Winter Soldier, if Peggy killed Tony's parents, if Peggy broke out of 70 years of brainwashing by Steve saying all of one phrase to her, if Steve gave anything and everything to save Peggy's life, to give her peace and just be with her again, if Steve resigned himself to letting Peggy murder him, if Steve abandoned his shield twice for Peggy, if you had experience the pain of Steve watching Peggy die not once, but twice right in front of him,

What would you call their love?

And what would you think if, after all that, Steve just decided to leave Peggy behind to spend time with Bucky? Wouldn't it hurt?

[daggerzine]

The Dot comes before the Dash- the Danny Ingram interview.

You would see their names on the back of records, many for Washington’s DC’s Dischord label and you might see a photo every now and again, but don’t know much about them unless you were part of that scene (ie; see my previous interview with Chris Bald from a few years ago). Danny Ingram was another one of those names. I knew he’d been in some of the early Dischord bands (Youth Brigade, etc.) and knew he’d done a lot of other stuff but wasn’t exactly sure where, when or in what context (‘cept that I knew he’s a drummer). Fast forward to nearly a decade ago when I saw his name as drummer of a new Washington, DC combo named Dot Dash. Their guitarist/vocalist Terry Banks had been in some of my favorite indie pop combos, namely Tree Fort Angst and The Saturday People, so I knew I was gonna like this one (Hunter Bennett rounds out the trio on bass)! I’ve enjoyed all of their records, but this latest one, Proto Retro (released earlier this year on The Beautiful Music label) is really a special thing of beauty. Well-written rock-pop songs that are both heartfelt and fun (and catchy as hell). Back to Ingram though, he was one of the older punks on the DC scene and thus saw and heard a lot so grab your favorite beverage, your reading glasses and bathrobe and take a stroll both down memory lane and up ‘til the current day.

A man and his drums, 

 Were you born and raised in Washington, DC?

Yes – DC born and raised. Lived in SE DC until I was 12, then moved to Palisades (NW DC) where I met my life-long friend and future bandmate, Nathan Strejcek.

 At what age did you take up the drums?

I had a fascination with drums from an early age. I’d had a crush on my baby sitter, Irene, and her brother had a drum set. To impress her, I tried playing along with his Beatles records and such, even though my feet didn’t reach the pedal. It was a lost cause. But a dear family friend and neighbor in SE, Richard Spencer, nurtured my interest. I think he bought me my first drums. He played in Otis Redding’s band and achieved quite a bit of success with his own band the Winstons (he wrote the Grammy-winning song ‘color him father).  I was about 19 when I took up the drums in earnest – with the intention of being in a band. At the risk of repeating an oft-told story…I had gone to see the Clash at the Ontario theater and was hanging out in the narrow, upstairs ‘dressing room’ with the band and several other people. I was sharing a spliff and talking with Joe, Mick and (to a lesser extent because I had trouble understanding him) Paul. Joe asked if I played in a band – I told him I didn’t – but that my best friend did. He admonished me to get off the sidelines – to ‘do something – create something’ – and when Joe Strummer tells you to do something…well…you do it. Shortly thereafter I volunteered to join the Untouchables (their drummer, Richard, left for college). A few weeks after that we played our first show. This was probably in the fall of 1980.

 How did you come into contact with the Dischord Records folks? Were you a Wilson HS student as well? Yeah. I went to Wilson (briefly) and knew all the Dischord people before there was a record label (or a Teen Idles). Nathan and I were best friends and he, along with Ian and Jeff, started the label. We all grew up together and have been friends since early days.

 Do you remember the first person you ever met in the DC punk scene? What was your first punk show?

I was there at the outset and knew most-if not all-of the people before there was a scene, per se. I guess the first people I met who weren’t in our group of friends were Xyra and Cathy – they had a punk radio show at WGTB (Georgetown University radio) called Revolt into Style. Nathan and I used to sneak out of our houses and go down for their shows after our parents went to sleep. As for the first concert? Hard to say. I saw so many bands in those early days –one of the first was probably the Ramones in the fall of ’77. I worked at the Atlantis and at the 9:30 club when it first opened up – so I saw almost every show that came through the DC area for many years. Also, I was a smidge older…so coupled with my fake ID I was able to get into places like the Bayou as well.

Youth Brigade (Danny is 2nd from left)

 From what I know you’re a bit older than some of the other DC punks, were you there early enough to go to places like Madam’s Organ and the Hard Art Gallery?  (places I only know about from pictures, usually of the Bad Brains).

Tell me about how/when The Untouchables formed? Was that your first band?

…and please tell us about the origins of Youth Brigade?

I was born in 1961 – so it makes me a about a year older than Ian and Jeff and six months older than Nathan. I never really considered myself older. Now, Boyd and the guys in Black Market Baby were fucking old! Most of em born in the 50’s! J Seriously though – we were all roughly in the same age group – though I think Xyra (who was a bit older) referred to that initial scene (affectionately – not anatomically) as teeny punks or baby punks.  My first band was the Untouchables. As noted above, Richard had split and moved off to college. I was sitting at the Roy Rogers with Eddie, Alec and (I think) Bert as they lamented the loss of their drummer and the prospect of breaking up. I jokingly volunteered to take his place. They immediately said ‘yes’ despite my warnings that I’d never really played the drums. A few weeks later we played our first show. We hung together for almost a year before splitting up. After that was Youth Brigade. Nathan had been the singer of the Teen Idles – but when the band split, it seemed only natural that Nathan and I should start a band together. We’d been best friends for years and had very similar life arcs and musical tastes. We tried out a few guitarists (including Jason of 9353) and one other bassist (Greg) before finally settling on the line-up that most people know with Tom on Guitar and my old friend and former Untouchable mate, Bert on bass.  As for Madam’s Organ or Hard Art? I played at Madam’s Organ – and I was at the infamous Bad Brains show at Hard Art. I can’t remember if I ever played there…but it’s entirely possible. You would have to consult with Bert or Alec or someone whose memory isn’t a shambles.

 Madhouse backstage

Was Madhouse next? They were a bit different right? A darker sound.

I was in a few bands before Madhouse. I played in a band with Dave Byers and Toni Young (from Red C) called Peer Pressure. Tom Berard (scenester) also sang with the band for a while. We recorded a demo up in NY with the bad brains at 171A. We played a handful of shows but, like so many other bands of that era, split up and moved on to other projects.  I also played in a band called Social Suicide – great guys and a fun band (featured Joey A who went on to Holy Rollers). Also short lived – but we did record some songs for a local compilation ‘mixed nuts don’t crack’.  OH – I also briefly tried my hand at singing in a VERY short-lived band called black watch. This featured future members of madhouse (Brad Gladstone on bass and the mega-talented Norman van der Sluys on drums). The less said about this the better. Not because of the band – but because my singing can curdle milk at twenty paces.

I was starting to get a bit antsy with the way the DC scene was evolving – so my then girlfriend (Monica Richards) and I decided to start a band that was more rooted in post punk bands like killing joke, magazine and the monochrome set. That was how madhouse started. But unsurprisingly enough, there was no scene for this band, so we still played mostly punk and hardcore shows – but the direction we tried to take didn’t really sit well with a lot of new, burgeoning scene.  It seems, at least from afar, that you were willing to go in other directions musically (goth, etc.) whereas maybe some of your DC co-horts stuck to the punk rock thing. Would this be accurate? Did you get flack for it?

Yeah – I guess it was a bit gothy. Certainly, that was Monica’s m.o. I’ve always considered myself a punk – no matter what kind of band I played in. But this was definitely the beginning of stretching musical wings. And, yeah, we caught flack for it. But it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Monica caught the most grief – and that is exactly why we both were getting put off by what the scene was turning into. I’ll just leave it at that. That said – my friends, the ones I’d known from the outset, were all cool. Otherwise I wouldn’t have spent some time drumming for Iron Cross with another life-long friend, Sab.

Strange Boutique (not ready to dine and (dot) dash) 

 Was Strange Boutique next? If so how/when did that band form and what was its history?

Yes – Strange Boutique (a name I copped from the Monochrome Set song/album) was next up. It was still Monica and me – but while Madhouse tried to straddle the punk scene with whatever it was we were trying to do – Strange Boutique basically said ‘fuck it’ and dove headfirst into what was certainly a more goth-punk-pop sound. The Chameleons, Siouxsie, Cure and bands of that ilk were really influencing us a lot and the quality of the band grew exponentially with the addition of Fred Smith and Steve Willett. -- I should pause here to note that I’ve lost a few friends and bandmates along the way – like Toni Young. But two hit particularly hard: Fred Smith – who was a true original. A crazy fucker. Much loved and much missed no matter how much trouble he got me into! And John Stabb – My brother in every sense of the word. Someone I loved until the end and who was a never-ending source of insanity, humor and energy. John and Fred were both unique spirits…and it’s just not the same without them.

Swervedriver- not huffin’ and puffin’ 

radioblue in black and white 

 Pardon my ignorance (I know it was some years) but was there anything between Strange Boutique and Dot Dash?

There were a few bands after Strange Boutique. I played in radioblue who, like strange boutique, were a band on the outside of the dc hardcore scene. They were more 60s-influenced indie pop (byrds, beatles, beach boys, buzzcocks). It led to drumming in a Mark Helm (a singer/guitarist in the band) project called Super 8 and playing on his solo album (on not lame records). I also started a band called King Mixer AGES ago with Steven Engel and James Lee (the bassist and singer/guitarist from radioblue). We still get together to this day, but it’s more like the monthly poker game: play some music, have dinner, hang out and catch up with old friends. We did put out a self-released CD years ago, but Dot Dash came along, and that has monopolized my time for the last seven years. I also played in Swervedriver for about a year, relocating to London for about ten months. It was an amazing experience. Adam Franklin (the singer / song writer) is the greatest musician I’ve ever played with. And as far as I am concerned Adam is in the pantheon of great song-writers of the last 40 years. Glad to still call him and my old swervie bandmates friends. A lifetime of memories crammed into a short period of time! When I moved back to DC from London at the end of 1992 I played in two more bands. The first was the criminally obscure UltraCherry Violet. They were definitely in the mold of swervedriver and some other favorites from that era. The band was Dugan Broadhurst and Dan Marx (who later played in king mixer). We played a handful of shows before I imploded. We got together a year after we split to record some songs for posterity – and those were ultimately released on Bedazzled records (a label I started while in strange boutique – but by now taken over by Steve Willett). There are a few songs on that CD that are among the things I’m most proud of as a musician.  I also played with my old running mates and brothers-in-arms John Stabb and Steve Hansgen (and Rob Frankel) in a band called Emma Peel. THAT was fun! We really clicked together musically – and we recorded a single on our good friend John Lisa’s label Tragic Life. The Avenging Punk Rock Godfathers! This web of connections is what led Steve to joining Dot Dash further down the road.  The last thing I did before Dot Dash was drumming in the legendary local mod band Modest Proposal, with old friends Neal Augenstein and Bill Crandall (who shortly thereafter was part of the original Dot Dash line-up). Steve Hansgen had played with Neal and Bill during an early incarnation – and he and I comprised the rhythm section for and MP reunion show.

Emma Peel (Danny is far right and that is the late, great John Stabb, 2nd from left) 

Do tell us about your current band Dot Dash? I think the records have been terrific. How did you meet Terry and Hunter?

Thanks for the kind words about the DD records. Right now, the band is a three-piece: me on drums, Terry Banks on vocals and guitar and Hunter Bennett on bass. Terry has been in almost as many bands as me – playing in a lot of indie-pop bands like Saturday People, Glo-Worm and Tree Fort Angst. Hunter was a veteran of the Stabb band among others.  I didn’t really know either of them before we started the band…but I knew of them from their previous band Julie Ocean (the band also had Jim Spellman of Velocity Girl on guitar/vocals and Alex Daniels from Swiz on drums). Julie Ocean released a great record on Transit of Venus – and they should have been huge. JO had planned to go on tour with a band called Magnetic Morning (that was my old friend Adam Franklin and Interpol drummer Sam Fogarino’s side-project), but drummer-Alex, bailed on the tour. So, that night at the Rock n Roll Hotel, Terry asked if I wanted to play drums in a new project with him and Hunter. I said yes – after consulting with my wife, Sally – but it actually took another six months or so to get rolling (I had already promised to do the Modest Proposal reunion). As it turned out, Jim was planning on leaving JO as well (taking a job in Colorado) – but when he came back he played briefly in Dot Dash (between Bill and Steve).  Dot Dash has been the most prolific band I’ve ever played with and the longest running active band. We’ve put out six CD’s on the Canadian label, The Beautiful Music. It’s run by an amazing guy – Wally Salem. I’m not sure that we would still be going without his love and support! Truthfully – I also do it for my kids (Noah 12 and Sam 16). I think it’s good to show them that you can do fun and creative things at any age. Sam has really taken it to heart. He’s been playing guitar since he was 10 and is already a better musician than I ever will be! He’s already formed and broken up his first band – and he filled in for Hunter (on bass) at one of our shows…picking up the songs with relative ease and aplomb. 

Almost forgot the Social Suicide pic (Danny’s the UK Subs fan)

What’s next for Dot Dash? Another record in the works? Maybe a tour?  I don’t know about touring. I think we would all love to do it – but because we all have demanding jobs, families and such – it makes it difficult to pick up and run off. That said, if the right opportunity presented itself (like going on a tour with a band we love) I think we would certainly consider it. We’ve been REALLY fortunate to play with some bands that have long been heroes/favorites: the Chameleons, Ash, Hugh Cornwell (of the Stranglers), the Monochrome Set, Stiff Little Fingers, the Dickies, DOA and so on – I think if any of them said ‘let’s do it’ we’d be packing our bags! As for another record? Well – we just released our sixth. And it is definitely the record I’m most proud of. Geoff Sanoff did an amazing job producing it – he also produces the Julie Ocean album – and it’s probably the best batch of songs Terry has written to-date.  We are always cranking out new songs – and already have a few in hand – but I think we want to enjoy the last release, Proto Retro, for a bit. 

Dot Dash with Sam on bass. 

What’s happening in Washington, DC these days musically? Any new bands we need to hear about? The great thing about DC is that it is like the Hydra of Lerna – every time a band breaks up, two new ones start up again! The scene has been regenerating for ages. And there are a lot of great bands still plugging away – The Messthetics with my old friend and Brendan Canty, Miss Lonelyhearts, Foxhall Stacks (with Jim Spellman), Nathan’s band the Delarcos, any band with Chris Moore (an epic drummer) such as the Rememberables or Coke Bust, Anna Connolly’s new project or the new project with Ian, Joe Lally and Amy Farina. Old or young – the scene here is still vibrant and vital.

 Any final thought? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask?

Obviously, most people know DC for the great music (bad brains, minor threat, fugazi, 9353, government issue, fire party, faith, rites of spring, tommy keene) – but to me, the best thing about it has been the friendships…which for me have been practically life-sustaining. You can’t have a great scene without great people – and to me the people I’ve known along the way simply are the best.

 BONUS QUESTION:  What are your top 10 desert island discs (I know some people don’t like when I ask this questions so I decided to put it as a bonus) Wow. Tough one. My top ten has about ten thousand records in it. So, it really is dependent on my mood at the time. I’ll try to throw it together…but if you ask on another day it might be a different batch. Because I’m old – I’m going to take the liberty of picking a baker’s dozen.  Adam and the Ants – Dirk Wears White Sox (original on Do It records) Art Ensemble of Chicago – Les Stances a Sophie J.S. Bach – Air on the G String Buzzcocks – Spiral Scratch ep (rip Pete Shelley) Chameleons – Script of the Bridge (or Strange Times) Miles Davis – ‘Round About Midnight Al Green – Greatest Hits Kinks – Something Else The La’s – The La’s  Punishment of Luxury – Laughing Academy Red Cross – Posh Boy ep Swervedriver – 99th Dream Zombies – Odyssey and Oracle

 www.dotdashdc.bandcamp.com

www.thebeautifulmusic.com 

(**all photos posted with permission from the Danny Ingram collection- if you took one of these please do let us know so we can credit. Thank you). 

Thank you very much Danny Ingram (from publisher/editor Tim)!

Dot Dash tearin’ down the house. 

[ugh-really-why]

I start reading an article about casting decisions that hurt the Captain America films, and I swear every single one of their this hurt the franchise is down to the directors/writers fuck ups. The actors/actresses are barely characters with almost no screen time so what they do add to the story is overshadowed.

The First Avenger should have focused waaaay more on Steve’s relationships with everyone and waaaay less on his crush on Peggy, and Civil War should have scrapped 90% of the Tony scenes... if not all of them so that they could focus on Steve and the different connections he’s formed in the future. Steve and Bucky, Steve and Sharon, Steve and Sam, Steve and Wanda, Steve and Natasha show us how these close connections affect the way Steve views the world. Is he still completely lost? Is he still trying to figure out his place or did creating a family in this new time give him a place? Interspace the emotional arc of Steve finding his place and creating a real life instead of going through the motions with whatever thing that goes wrong. Have them dealing with the fallout of superheroing and creating actual ways to limit collateral damage. Make the film human in the way that WS was... and to a lesser extent TFA was human by humanizing these larger than life characters...

[networkingdefinition]

Blackberries Quotes

Official Website: Blackberries Quotes

` • A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain’s work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, ‘You’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.’ He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it. – Amy Poehler • After the last shovel of dirt was patted in place, I sat down and let my mind drift back through the years. I thought of the old K. C. Baking Powder can, and the first time I saw my pups in the box at the depot. I thought of the fifty dollars, the nickels and dimes, and the fishermen and blackberry patches. I looked at his grave and, with tears in my eyes, I voiced these words: “You were worth it, old friend, and a thousand times over. – Wilson Rawls • All of the people who are using their BlackBerries or their iPhones, Facebook, all of the people who are sitting in cafes and hotels rooms doing their work, they’re all using wireless technology, and we shouldn’t assume that the only way of the future is high speed cable. – Tony Abbott • All the consumer market mojo is with Apple and to a lesser extent BlackBerry. And yet, the real market momentum with operators and the real market momentum with device manufacturers seems to primarily be with Windows Mobile and Android. – Steve Ballmer • and once at Hana’s house, when we stole some blackberry liqueur from her parents’ liquor cabinet and drank until the ceiling started spinning overhead. Hana was laughing and giggling, but I didn’t like it, didn’t like the sweet sick taste in my mouth or the way my thoughts seemed to break apart like a mist in the sun. – Lauren Oliver • At work people are expected to be at the beck and call of employers all the time. You have blackberries and other things, and they just don’t leave you alone. People have less time just to drop into an art gallery. – Jeremy Paxman • Attention is the most powerful tool of the human spirit. We can enhance or augment our attention with practices like meditation and exercise, diffuse it with technologies like email and Blackberries, or alter it with pharmaceuticals. In the end, though, we are fully responsible for how we choose to use this extraordinary tool. – Linda Stone

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Blackberr', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_blackberr').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_blackberr img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beyond all our Blackberries and iPhones, we’re dangerously separated from our food and water supplies. – Eric Kripke • Blackberry Smoke is a band that will never go hungry. – Brian Johnson • Blackberry Smoke is my favorite band! – Jamey Johnson • Blackberry Smoke is the real deal! – Dierks Bentley • Blackberry winter, the time when the hoarforst lies on the blackberry blossoms; without this frost the berries will not set. It is the forerunner of a rich harvest. – Margaret Mead • BLACKBERRY. Also know as “Crackberry” for it’s addictive qualities. It is the modern girl’s weapon. It allow her to bid on ebay while walking down the street, map out her shopping route for maximum productivity, and sneak out of work and still get her messages as she peruses the sales racks. – Nina Garcia • Blue is a tranquilizer, imparting coolness to your system. Blue slows down your system so it can heal and mend. Positive qualities of blue are willpower, aspiration, and reliability. Foods of the blue vibration are: grapes, blackberries, blue plums, blueberries, and any other blue fruits or vegetables. – Tae Yun Kim • Blueberries, strawberries and blackberries are true super foods. Naturally sweet and juicy, berries are low in sugar and high in nutrients – they are among the best foods you can eat. – Joel Fuhrman • Brambles, in particular, protect and nourish young fruit trees, and on farms bramble clumps (blackberry or one of its related cultivars) can be used to exclude deer and cattle from newly set trees. As the trees (apple, quince, plum, citrus, fig) age, and the brambles are shaded out, hoofed animals come to eat fallen fruit, and the mature trees (7 plus years old) are sufficiently hardy to withstand browsing. Our forest ancestors may well have followed some such sequences for orchard evolution, assisted by indigenous birds and mammals. – Bill Mollison • But time in only another liar, so go along the wall a little further: if blackberries prove bitter there’ll be mushrooms, fairy-ring mushrooms in the grass, sweetest of all fungi. – William Carlos Williams • Come, my child,” I said, trying to lead her away. “Wish good-bye to the poor hare, and come and look for blackberries.” “Good-bye, poor hare!” Sylvie obediently repeated, looking over her shoulder at it as we turned away. And then, all in a moment, her self-command gave way. Pulling her hand out of mine, she ran back to where the dead hare was lying, and flung herself down at its side in such an agony of grief as I could hardly have believed possible in so young a child. “Oh, my darling, my darling!” she moaned, over and over again. “And God meant your life to be so beautiful! – Lewis Carroll • Earth’s crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

• For me, nature is something you watch on the Discovery Channel, or on the evening news — as you learn how much more of it’s been savaged to make way for the Blackberry realm that is my home – Tahir Shah • Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He’s the first wired president. … He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they’re easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, ‘OMG! WTF?’ I mean, he couldn’t believe it. – Jay Leno • How much are we willing to lose from our already short lives by losing ourselves in our Blackberries, our iPhones, by not paying attention to the human being across from us who is talking with us, by being so lazy that we’re not willing to process deeply? – Joshua Foer • I always loved writing, but I feel like I really started writing when I got my BlackBerry . It was the first time I could take these crazy thoughts in my head and actually get them out. This little device became my journal on the road. – Duff McKagan • I am impressed with the innovation in the wireless marketplace. The Blackberry, the iPhone, the Pre, and other smart devices are breakthrough technologies that have helped revolutionize the wireless space. – Julius Genachowski • I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars, And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of the wren, And the tree toad is a chef-d’oeurve for the highest, And the running blackberry would adorn the parlors of heaven, And the narrowest hinge in my hand puts to scorn all machinery, And the cow crunching with depress’d head surpasses any statue, And a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels! – Walt Whitman • I don’t do Twitter, Facebook; none of that. My email I do from my Blackberry or my iPhone. – Penelope Cruz • I don’t have a BlackBerry or whatever you call it. And there is something to be said for being isolated and out of phone range, because you can fall into a habit to such a degree that you don’t even realise that you’ve lost something: silence. – Viggo Mortensen • I don’t have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. – Mark Zuckerberg • I don’t like sitting still at a desk and often conduct business on my Blackberry or in walking meetings. – Dylan Lauren • I don’t text, I don’t have a Blackberry. Literally, I just have a cell phone that I haven’t programmed and the whole Bluetooth. No. I don’t even have an earpiece for my cell phone. – Steve Carell • I hate the iPhone. I love the BlackBerry – BlackBerry wins in my opinion. The iPhone is a toy. – Brett Ratner • I have a Blackberry which I use, but I am one of those people who can only type on it with one hand. – Dev Patel • I have a little bit of an addiction to work. So I’m always hiding in the bathroom with my Blackberry to work when I’m on holiday. – Penelope Cruz • I like to talk to people. I’ve got one assistant, one Blackberry. That’s my overhead. I don’t text that much or email. I like to sit down face-to-face and have a conversation with you. I’m old-fashioned. – Mark Wahlberg • I love to go out in late September among the fat, overripe, icy, black blackberries to eat blackberries for breakfast, the stalks very prickly, a penalty they earn for knowing the black art of blackberry-making; and as I stand among them lifting the stalks to my mouth, the ripest berries fall almost unbidden to my tongue, as words sometimes do, certain peculiar words like strengths or squinched, many-lettered, one-syllabled lumps, which I squeeze, squinch open, and splurge well in the silent, startled, icy, black language of blackberry – eating in late September. – Galway Kinnell • I play Texas Hold’em on my Blackberry. I have amassed a fortune on that. I have almost 30 million dollars from playing. It is unreal. – Chris Cornell • I started writing an album on flights to Africa and Brazil, but it was crazy because I left the notebook on the plane. It had seven or eight songs in it. After that, I’m not writing any more songs on notebooks – and I keep my Blackberry close! – Estelle • I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the “nerd” moniker. But I don’t get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a “racist” comedian. – Aziz Ansari • I think healthy competition is good for business, and really at the end best for end-users. Just think about what Android would have been if it was not for iPhone – a better blackberry? – Jack Levin • I think if you asked people “what’s the biggest problem in your life?” They’d say, “I just don’t have time for anything!” And at our fingertips, if it isn’t e-mail, it’s our Blackberry, and it’s our iPods and telephones – we never stop. We never take those moments to stop the stimulus to find out “what’s going on in there? What’s really happening?” And then things start to build up. And then we are almost afraid to slow down. – Elizabeth Lesser • I think the discipline comes with turning that cellphone and Blackberry off and unplugging completely. You do that and you go through some withdrawals in the beginning. You start thinking, ‘Oh, do I need to do this? Do I need to do that?’ You forget that we were doing just fine with the payphone. – Matthew McConaughey • I use technology for communication, but I don’t have a Blackberry or an iPhone. I use an outdated cell phone, but I’m fine with it. – Nicolas Cage • I used to make fun of my friends who had BlackBerries. And I know that the expression CrackBerry has been going around, but now I fully understand it. I’m actually addicted to a piece of machinery, and that’s really embarrassing – John Krasinski • I want to reach a new generation. That’s why I am Twittering now. I have a BlackBerry, an iPhone and a Mac. – Buzz Aldrin • I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I’m completely disconnected. – Demetri Martin • I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something. – Louis C. K. • I would give you my soul in a blackberry pie; and a knife to cut it with. – Dorothy Dunnett • I write everything down. I e-mail the second I think of something, or I write notes in my BlackBerry calendar. I set up reminder alerts on my phone. And I have a notebook by my bedside so I can write down any last-minute ideas. – Giada De Laurentiis • If reasons were as plentiful as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion. – William Shakespeare • I’m not suggesting that the entire nation can’t be successful, but there’s something to it when you have 150 cable channels and the Internet at your fingertips and video games and all kinds of ADD-addled devices like my iPhone and your BlackBerry and things that keep us busy. – Jim Courier • I’m not terribly technological. I’m awfully backward about iPads and BlackBerries and suchlike; I still have a great fondness for Teletext, and I clung onto my fax machine for as long as I could, but eventually you have to move with the times. – David Tang • In America, Blackberry Farm in Tennessee is one of the most amazing hotels I’ve had the privilege of staying at. – Gail Simmons • In terms of the technology I use the most, it’s probably a tie between my Blackberry and my MacBook Pro laptop. That’s how I communicate with the rest of the world and how I handle all the business I have to handle. – John Legend • Indigo has a purifying, stabilizing, cleansing effect when fear, repression, and obsessions have disturbed your mental body. Indigo food vibrations are: blackberries, blue plums, blueberries, purple brocoli, beetroot, and purple grapes. – Tae Yun Kim • It is incumbent upon us all to raise the bar, whether you are a multibillion-dollar international corporation or a mom-and-pop selling blackberry jam. – Howard Schmidt • It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phones. Children are nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when parents used to read to them without the cell phone by their side or watch football games or Disney movies without having the BlackBerry handy. – Sherry Turkle • It took 10 years to go from building the initial Smartphone to reaching the mass market. BlackBerry came out in 2003 and it didn’t get to about a billion units until 2013. So I can’t imagine it would be much faster for VR. – Mark Zuckerberg • I’ve been thinking of trying my hand at rap. I’ve been recording snippets on my BlackBerry. – Rufus Wainwright • I’ve just been away for a week, and I dropped my BlackBerry in the sea while I was messing around with the kids, so no one can reach me. Blissful. I heartily recommend it. – Nick Clegg • I’ve really hung in there with my BlackBerry. The main reason I like it better than an iPhone is that I can type better. I saw Rachel Zoe using a white one and I was jealous. The risk, of course, is that it could look like a Lady BIC. I’ve just learned to own it though. – Andy Cohen • I’ve tried plenty of telephones. I tried to get into the Samsung Galaxy and the Blackberry, but the iPhone is just too easy to use. The camera takes clear pictures and the phone itself looks great. Like all Apple products, it kind of just makes sense. – Avicii • Life was just a tire swing. ‘Jambalaya’ was the only song I could sing. Blackberry pickin’, eatin’ fried chicken, And I never knew a thing about pain. Life was just a tire swing. – Jimmy Buffett • Mindfulness means being aware of how you’re deploying your attention and making decisions about it, and not letting the tweet or the buzzing of your BlackBerry call your attention. – Howard Rheingold • O, blackberry tart, with berries as big as your thumb, purple and black, and thick with juice, and a crust to endear them that will go to cream in your mouth, and both passing down with such a taste that will make you close your eyes and wish you might live forever in the wideness of that rich moment. – Richard Llewellyn • Oh, no-” They weren’t even on the runway, and Jonah’s father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. “Remember those ‘Live Large with the Wiz Generation’ posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- ‘Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat’. – Gordon Korman • Once off the bush The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour. I always felt like crying. It wasn’t fair That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot. Each year I hoped they’d keep, knew they would not. -Blackberry picking – Seamus Heaney • One of the misconceptions about BlackBerry is that it’s your parents’ smartphone. – Thorsten Heins • Purple as tulips in May, mauve into lush velvet, purple as the stain blackberries leave on the lips, on the hands, the purple of ripe grapes sunlit and warm as flesh. – Marge Piercy • Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings, saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry. – Robert Hass • Teenagers talk about the idea of having each other’s ‘full attention.’ They grew up in a culture of distraction. They remember their parents were on cell phones when they were pushed on swings as toddlers. Now, their parents text at the dinner table and don’t look up from their BlackBerry when they come for end-of-school day pickup. – Sherry Turkle • The Blackberry is really essential for keeping up on my emails when I’m out of the office, which is a lot. – David Neeleman • The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called ‘The Human Moment,’ about how to make real contact with a person at work: … The fundamental thing you have to do is turn off your BlackBerry, close your laptop, end your daydream and pay full attention to the person. – Daniel Goleman • The problem with our Blackberry society is that hardly anyone has time anymore to have an unhurried discussion about the long-term developments that will change our lives. – Paul Achleitner • The way we measure productivity is flawed. People checking their BlackBerry over dinner is not the measure of productivity. – Tim Ferriss • There are a couple of different types of food I eat a lot. I was raised in the South, in Tennessee, so I’m going to go with comfort food, soul food. I would probably start with collard greens and candied baby carrots and then have some biscuits and white gravy – and for dessert, probably blackberry cobbler. – Megan Fox • There is a newly coined word in the English language for the moment when the person we’re with whips out their BlackBerry or answers that cell phone, and all of a sudden we don’t exist. The word is ‘pizzled’: it’s a combination of puzzled and pissed off. – Daniel Goleman • There may be 300,000 apps for the iPhone and iPad, but the only app you really need is the browser. You don’t need an app for the web … You don’t need to go through some kind of SDK … You can use your web tools … And you can publish your apps to the BlackBerry without writing any native code. • There’s something really terrible about having your BlackBerry next to your bed or having your laptop in the living room when you’re talking to someone. The biggest source of stress in my life is the screen, the blogging. – Jessica Valenti • To me, ‘Blackberry Way’ stands up as a song that could be sung in any era, really. We do it with the new doing all sort of fanfare things in it and it works really well. It goes down great with audiences. – Roy Wood • Today, all our wives and husbands have Blackberries or iPhones or Android devices or whatever-the progeny of those original 950 and 957 models that put data in our pockets. Now we all check their email (or Twitter, or Facebook, or Instagram, or) compulsively at the dinner table, or the traffic light. Now we all stow our devices on the nightstand before bed, and check them first thing in the morning. We all do. It’s not abnormal, and it’s not just for business. It’s just what people do. Like smoking in 1965, it’s just life. – Ian Bogost • We would load up the yellow Cutlass Supreme station wagon and pick blackberries during blackberry season or spring onions during spring onion season. For us, food was part of the fabric of our day. – Mario Batali • What is so seductive about texting, about keeping that phone on, about that little red light on the BlackBerry, is you want to know who wants you. – Sherry Turkle • When the blackberries hang swollen in the woods, in the brambles nobody owns, I spend all day among the high branches, reaching my ripped arms, thinking of nothing, cramming the black honey of summer into my mouth; all day my body accepts what it is. In the dark creeks that run by there is this thick paw of my life darting among the black bells, the leaves; there is this happy tongue. – Mary Oliver • When you have the baby, there is no BlackBerry, no computer; you just have the baby on your stomach, and your heart is beating the same time as the baby’s. It’s very nice. – Carine Roitfeld • When you’re travelling, your day is jam-packed. I just don’t have time to whip out a PC all the time. But I can whip out a BlackBerry and tweet. I keep a constant diary of where I’m at and why I’m there. – Kevin O’Leary • Writing is more than just the making of a series of comprehensible statements: it is the gathering in of connotations; the harvesting of them, like blackberries in a good season, ripe and heavy, snatched from among the thorns of logic. – Fay Weldon • You know, you just know, that after the president goes out there and announces he wants to make community college free for all Americans – as though anything government does is ‘free’ – or is unilaterally and unconstitutionally legalizing millions of undocumented immigrants, he comes back to the offices, pulls out the presidential BlackBerry, and gleefully follows along as the Right goes completely ape over these wild policy decisions. – John Podhoretz • You’ve seen [Doanld Trump] come out with a lot more specifics. He’s not in hiding or smashing BlackBerry or BleachBit himself to death like we’ve seen Hillary do or Hillary [Clinton] throwing her stuff, you know, under the bus. She’s not showing presidential leadership qualities. – Kimberly Guilfoyle

[equitiesstocks]

Blackberries Quotes

Official Website: Blackberries Quotes

` • A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain’s work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, ‘You’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.’ He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it. – Amy Poehler • After the last shovel of dirt was patted in place, I sat down and let my mind drift back through the years. I thought of the old K. C. Baking Powder can, and the first time I saw my pups in the box at the depot. I thought of the fifty dollars, the nickels and dimes, and the fishermen and blackberry patches. I looked at his grave and, with tears in my eyes, I voiced these words: “You were worth it, old friend, and a thousand times over. – Wilson Rawls • All of the people who are using their BlackBerries or their iPhones, Facebook, all of the people who are sitting in cafes and hotels rooms doing their work, they’re all using wireless technology, and we shouldn’t assume that the only way of the future is high speed cable. – Tony Abbott • All the consumer market mojo is with Apple and to a lesser extent BlackBerry. And yet, the real market momentum with operators and the real market momentum with device manufacturers seems to primarily be with Windows Mobile and Android. – Steve Ballmer • and once at Hana’s house, when we stole some blackberry liqueur from her parents’ liquor cabinet and drank until the ceiling started spinning overhead. Hana was laughing and giggling, but I didn’t like it, didn’t like the sweet sick taste in my mouth or the way my thoughts seemed to break apart like a mist in the sun. – Lauren Oliver • At work people are expected to be at the beck and call of employers all the time. You have blackberries and other things, and they just don’t leave you alone. People have less time just to drop into an art gallery. – Jeremy Paxman • Attention is the most powerful tool of the human spirit. We can enhance or augment our attention with practices like meditation and exercise, diffuse it with technologies like email and Blackberries, or alter it with pharmaceuticals. In the end, though, we are fully responsible for how we choose to use this extraordinary tool. – Linda Stone

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Blackberr', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_blackberr').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_blackberr img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beyond all our Blackberries and iPhones, we’re dangerously separated from our food and water supplies. – Eric Kripke • Blackberry Smoke is a band that will never go hungry. – Brian Johnson • Blackberry Smoke is my favorite band! – Jamey Johnson • Blackberry Smoke is the real deal! – Dierks Bentley • Blackberry winter, the time when the hoarforst lies on the blackberry blossoms; without this frost the berries will not set. It is the forerunner of a rich harvest. – Margaret Mead • BLACKBERRY. Also know as “Crackberry” for it’s addictive qualities. It is the modern girl’s weapon. It allow her to bid on ebay while walking down the street, map out her shopping route for maximum productivity, and sneak out of work and still get her messages as she peruses the sales racks. – Nina Garcia • Blue is a tranquilizer, imparting coolness to your system. Blue slows down your system so it can heal and mend. Positive qualities of blue are willpower, aspiration, and reliability. Foods of the blue vibration are: grapes, blackberries, blue plums, blueberries, and any other blue fruits or vegetables. – Tae Yun Kim • Blueberries, strawberries and blackberries are true super foods. Naturally sweet and juicy, berries are low in sugar and high in nutrients – they are among the best foods you can eat. – Joel Fuhrman • Brambles, in particular, protect and nourish young fruit trees, and on farms bramble clumps (blackberry or one of its related cultivars) can be used to exclude deer and cattle from newly set trees. As the trees (apple, quince, plum, citrus, fig) age, and the brambles are shaded out, hoofed animals come to eat fallen fruit, and the mature trees (7 plus years old) are sufficiently hardy to withstand browsing. Our forest ancestors may well have followed some such sequences for orchard evolution, assisted by indigenous birds and mammals. – Bill Mollison • But time in only another liar, so go along the wall a little further: if blackberries prove bitter there’ll be mushrooms, fairy-ring mushrooms in the grass, sweetest of all fungi. – William Carlos Williams • Come, my child,” I said, trying to lead her away. “Wish good-bye to the poor hare, and come and look for blackberries.” “Good-bye, poor hare!” Sylvie obediently repeated, looking over her shoulder at it as we turned away. And then, all in a moment, her self-command gave way. Pulling her hand out of mine, she ran back to where the dead hare was lying, and flung herself down at its side in such an agony of grief as I could hardly have believed possible in so young a child. “Oh, my darling, my darling!” she moaned, over and over again. “And God meant your life to be so beautiful! – Lewis Carroll • Earth’s crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

• For me, nature is something you watch on the Discovery Channel, or on the evening news — as you learn how much more of it’s been savaged to make way for the Blackberry realm that is my home – Tahir Shah • Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He’s the first wired president. … He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they’re easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, ‘OMG! WTF?’ I mean, he couldn’t believe it. – Jay Leno • How much are we willing to lose from our already short lives by losing ourselves in our Blackberries, our iPhones, by not paying attention to the human being across from us who is talking with us, by being so lazy that we’re not willing to process deeply? – Joshua Foer • I always loved writing, but I feel like I really started writing when I got my BlackBerry . It was the first time I could take these crazy thoughts in my head and actually get them out. This little device became my journal on the road. – Duff McKagan • I am impressed with the innovation in the wireless marketplace. The Blackberry, the iPhone, the Pre, and other smart devices are breakthrough technologies that have helped revolutionize the wireless space. – Julius Genachowski • I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars, And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of the wren, And the tree toad is a chef-d’oeurve for the highest, And the running blackberry would adorn the parlors of heaven, And the narrowest hinge in my hand puts to scorn all machinery, And the cow crunching with depress’d head surpasses any statue, And a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels! – Walt Whitman • I don’t do Twitter, Facebook; none of that. My email I do from my Blackberry or my iPhone. – Penelope Cruz • I don’t have a BlackBerry or whatever you call it. And there is something to be said for being isolated and out of phone range, because you can fall into a habit to such a degree that you don’t even realise that you’ve lost something: silence. – Viggo Mortensen • I don’t have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. – Mark Zuckerberg • I don’t like sitting still at a desk and often conduct business on my Blackberry or in walking meetings. – Dylan Lauren • I don’t text, I don’t have a Blackberry. Literally, I just have a cell phone that I haven’t programmed and the whole Bluetooth. No. I don’t even have an earpiece for my cell phone. – Steve Carell • I hate the iPhone. I love the BlackBerry – BlackBerry wins in my opinion. The iPhone is a toy. – Brett Ratner • I have a Blackberry which I use, but I am one of those people who can only type on it with one hand. – Dev Patel • I have a little bit of an addiction to work. So I’m always hiding in the bathroom with my Blackberry to work when I’m on holiday. – Penelope Cruz • I like to talk to people. I’ve got one assistant, one Blackberry. That’s my overhead. I don’t text that much or email. I like to sit down face-to-face and have a conversation with you. I’m old-fashioned. – Mark Wahlberg • I love to go out in late September among the fat, overripe, icy, black blackberries to eat blackberries for breakfast, the stalks very prickly, a penalty they earn for knowing the black art of blackberry-making; and as I stand among them lifting the stalks to my mouth, the ripest berries fall almost unbidden to my tongue, as words sometimes do, certain peculiar words like strengths or squinched, many-lettered, one-syllabled lumps, which I squeeze, squinch open, and splurge well in the silent, startled, icy, black language of blackberry – eating in late September. – Galway Kinnell • I play Texas Hold’em on my Blackberry. I have amassed a fortune on that. I have almost 30 million dollars from playing. It is unreal. – Chris Cornell • I started writing an album on flights to Africa and Brazil, but it was crazy because I left the notebook on the plane. It had seven or eight songs in it. After that, I’m not writing any more songs on notebooks – and I keep my Blackberry close! – Estelle • I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the “nerd” moniker. But I don’t get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a “racist” comedian. – Aziz Ansari • I think healthy competition is good for business, and really at the end best for end-users. Just think about what Android would have been if it was not for iPhone – a better blackberry? – Jack Levin • I think if you asked people “what’s the biggest problem in your life?” They’d say, “I just don’t have time for anything!” And at our fingertips, if it isn’t e-mail, it’s our Blackberry, and it’s our iPods and telephones – we never stop. We never take those moments to stop the stimulus to find out “what’s going on in there? What’s really happening?” And then things start to build up. And then we are almost afraid to slow down. – Elizabeth Lesser • I think the discipline comes with turning that cellphone and Blackberry off and unplugging completely. You do that and you go through some withdrawals in the beginning. You start thinking, ‘Oh, do I need to do this? Do I need to do that?’ You forget that we were doing just fine with the payphone. – Matthew McConaughey • I use technology for communication, but I don’t have a Blackberry or an iPhone. I use an outdated cell phone, but I’m fine with it. – Nicolas Cage • I used to make fun of my friends who had BlackBerries. And I know that the expression CrackBerry has been going around, but now I fully understand it. I’m actually addicted to a piece of machinery, and that’s really embarrassing – John Krasinski • I want to reach a new generation. That’s why I am Twittering now. I have a BlackBerry, an iPhone and a Mac. – Buzz Aldrin • I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I’m completely disconnected. – Demetri Martin • I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something. – Louis C. K. • I would give you my soul in a blackberry pie; and a knife to cut it with. – Dorothy Dunnett • I write everything down. I e-mail the second I think of something, or I write notes in my BlackBerry calendar. I set up reminder alerts on my phone. And I have a notebook by my bedside so I can write down any last-minute ideas. – Giada De Laurentiis • If reasons were as plentiful as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion. – William Shakespeare • I’m not suggesting that the entire nation can’t be successful, but there’s something to it when you have 150 cable channels and the Internet at your fingertips and video games and all kinds of ADD-addled devices like my iPhone and your BlackBerry and things that keep us busy. – Jim Courier • I’m not terribly technological. I’m awfully backward about iPads and BlackBerries and suchlike; I still have a great fondness for Teletext, and I clung onto my fax machine for as long as I could, but eventually you have to move with the times. – David Tang • In America, Blackberry Farm in Tennessee is one of the most amazing hotels I’ve had the privilege of staying at. – Gail Simmons • In terms of the technology I use the most, it’s probably a tie between my Blackberry and my MacBook Pro laptop. That’s how I communicate with the rest of the world and how I handle all the business I have to handle. – John Legend • Indigo has a purifying, stabilizing, cleansing effect when fear, repression, and obsessions have disturbed your mental body. Indigo food vibrations are: blackberries, blue plums, blueberries, purple brocoli, beetroot, and purple grapes. – Tae Yun Kim • It is incumbent upon us all to raise the bar, whether you are a multibillion-dollar international corporation or a mom-and-pop selling blackberry jam. – Howard Schmidt • It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phones. Children are nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when parents used to read to them without the cell phone by their side or watch football games or Disney movies without having the BlackBerry handy. – Sherry Turkle • It took 10 years to go from building the initial Smartphone to reaching the mass market. BlackBerry came out in 2003 and it didn’t get to about a billion units until 2013. So I can’t imagine it would be much faster for VR. – Mark Zuckerberg • I’ve been thinking of trying my hand at rap. I’ve been recording snippets on my BlackBerry. – Rufus Wainwright • I’ve just been away for a week, and I dropped my BlackBerry in the sea while I was messing around with the kids, so no one can reach me. Blissful. I heartily recommend it. – Nick Clegg • I’ve really hung in there with my BlackBerry. The main reason I like it better than an iPhone is that I can type better. I saw Rachel Zoe using a white one and I was jealous. The risk, of course, is that it could look like a Lady BIC. I’ve just learned to own it though. – Andy Cohen • I’ve tried plenty of telephones. I tried to get into the Samsung Galaxy and the Blackberry, but the iPhone is just too easy to use. The camera takes clear pictures and the phone itself looks great. Like all Apple products, it kind of just makes sense. – Avicii • Life was just a tire swing. ‘Jambalaya’ was the only song I could sing. Blackberry pickin’, eatin’ fried chicken, And I never knew a thing about pain. Life was just a tire swing. – Jimmy Buffett • Mindfulness means being aware of how you’re deploying your attention and making decisions about it, and not letting the tweet or the buzzing of your BlackBerry call your attention. – Howard Rheingold • O, blackberry tart, with berries as big as your thumb, purple and black, and thick with juice, and a crust to endear them that will go to cream in your mouth, and both passing down with such a taste that will make you close your eyes and wish you might live forever in the wideness of that rich moment. – Richard Llewellyn • Oh, no-” They weren’t even on the runway, and Jonah’s father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. “Remember those ‘Live Large with the Wiz Generation’ posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- ‘Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat’. – Gordon Korman • Once off the bush The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour. I always felt like crying. It wasn’t fair That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot. Each year I hoped they’d keep, knew they would not. -Blackberry picking – Seamus Heaney • One of the misconceptions about BlackBerry is that it’s your parents’ smartphone. – Thorsten Heins • Purple as tulips in May, mauve into lush velvet, purple as the stain blackberries leave on the lips, on the hands, the purple of ripe grapes sunlit and warm as flesh. – Marge Piercy • Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings, saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry. – Robert Hass • Teenagers talk about the idea of having each other’s ‘full attention.’ They grew up in a culture of distraction. They remember their parents were on cell phones when they were pushed on swings as toddlers. Now, their parents text at the dinner table and don’t look up from their BlackBerry when they come for end-of-school day pickup. – Sherry Turkle • The Blackberry is really essential for keeping up on my emails when I’m out of the office, which is a lot. – David Neeleman • The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called ‘The Human Moment,’ about how to make real contact with a person at work: … The fundamental thing you have to do is turn off your BlackBerry, close your laptop, end your daydream and pay full attention to the person. – Daniel Goleman • The problem with our Blackberry society is that hardly anyone has time anymore to have an unhurried discussion about the long-term developments that will change our lives. – Paul Achleitner • The way we measure productivity is flawed. People checking their BlackBerry over dinner is not the measure of productivity. – Tim Ferriss • There are a couple of different types of food I eat a lot. I was raised in the South, in Tennessee, so I’m going to go with comfort food, soul food. I would probably start with collard greens and candied baby carrots and then have some biscuits and white gravy – and for dessert, probably blackberry cobbler. – Megan Fox • There is a newly coined word in the English language for the moment when the person we’re with whips out their BlackBerry or answers that cell phone, and all of a sudden we don’t exist. The word is ‘pizzled’: it’s a combination of puzzled and pissed off. – Daniel Goleman • There may be 300,000 apps for the iPhone and iPad, but the only app you really need is the browser. You don’t need an app for the web … You don’t need to go through some kind of SDK … You can use your web tools … And you can publish your apps to the BlackBerry without writing any native code. • There’s something really terrible about having your BlackBerry next to your bed or having your laptop in the living room when you’re talking to someone. The biggest source of stress in my life is the screen, the blogging. – Jessica Valenti • To me, ‘Blackberry Way’ stands up as a song that could be sung in any era, really. We do it with the new doing all sort of fanfare things in it and it works really well. It goes down great with audiences. – Roy Wood • Today, all our wives and husbands have Blackberries or iPhones or Android devices or whatever-the progeny of those original 950 and 957 models that put data in our pockets. Now we all check their email (or Twitter, or Facebook, or Instagram, or) compulsively at the dinner table, or the traffic light. Now we all stow our devices on the nightstand before bed, and check them first thing in the morning. We all do. It’s not abnormal, and it’s not just for business. It’s just what people do. Like smoking in 1965, it’s just life. – Ian Bogost • We would load up the yellow Cutlass Supreme station wagon and pick blackberries during blackberry season or spring onions during spring onion season. For us, food was part of the fabric of our day. – Mario Batali • What is so seductive about texting, about keeping that phone on, about that little red light on the BlackBerry, is you want to know who wants you. – Sherry Turkle • When the blackberries hang swollen in the woods, in the brambles nobody owns, I spend all day among the high branches, reaching my ripped arms, thinking of nothing, cramming the black honey of summer into my mouth; all day my body accepts what it is. In the dark creeks that run by there is this thick paw of my life darting among the black bells, the leaves; there is this happy tongue. – Mary Oliver • When you have the baby, there is no BlackBerry, no computer; you just have the baby on your stomach, and your heart is beating the same time as the baby’s. It’s very nice. – Carine Roitfeld • When you’re travelling, your day is jam-packed. I just don’t have time to whip out a PC all the time. But I can whip out a BlackBerry and tweet. I keep a constant diary of where I’m at and why I’m there. – Kevin O’Leary • Writing is more than just the making of a series of comprehensible statements: it is the gathering in of connotations; the harvesting of them, like blackberries in a good season, ripe and heavy, snatched from among the thorns of logic. – Fay Weldon • You know, you just know, that after the president goes out there and announces he wants to make community college free for all Americans – as though anything government does is ‘free’ – or is unilaterally and unconstitutionally legalizing millions of undocumented immigrants, he comes back to the offices, pulls out the presidential BlackBerry, and gleefully follows along as the Right goes completely ape over these wild policy decisions. – John Podhoretz • You’ve seen [Doanld Trump] come out with a lot more specifics. He’s not in hiding or smashing BlackBerry or BleachBit himself to death like we’ve seen Hillary do or Hillary [Clinton] throwing her stuff, you know, under the bus. She’s not showing presidential leadership qualities. – Kimberly Guilfoyle