#or if carina hooked up with her and not hunt

[casinotrio1965]

Disney Descendants : Tiger Lily x Lampwick story ideas Part 1

There's a tiny diner near Auradon Prep. Their food is just okay but their milkshakes are great. Most of the kids at Auradon Prep ignore it because it's cheap and not glamourous so Tiger Lily and Lampwick always go there to enjoy a quiet night out. They split a milkshake and enjoy their night together. Maybe they go see a movie or for a walk after. They went on a huge treasure hunt once looking for Captain Hook's old gold. They never found it but they had a great time exploring skull rock and going through the jungle. They found lots of old pirate stuff, just no gold. But a really great story! They love having their family over. Geppetto and Carina spoil the kids, and Tiger Lily and Lampwick visit with them. Pinocchio brings lots of stuff he baked. Alice and Lampwick will try to set up an awesome surprise and break something. XD Eventually they'll call Alexander and Eilonwy to join the fun. Even Bella drops in sometimes with a cool adventure story for the kids. They went on a trip to Russia once. They went on cool tours, saw a few museums, and they definitely hit the ballet! With their love for performing and dancing, it was so pretty to watch! They didn't understand the words but who cares when the dancers move that way? They also got to try some Russian cooking and Lampwick is very excited by that. Tiger Lily got a silver dress once. She showed up in it and Lampwick's jaw DROPPED. He was speechless. She joked she should wear it more often but she was flattered how excited he was.

When they were first starting out they didn't have a ton of money. Tiger Lily worked part time after school and Lampwick worked until she got her teaching job, but things were tough. They didn't want to abuse Tiger Lily's parents' generosity so they tried to be frugal, buying things they needed like food, baby stuff, cleaning stuff, and school stuff. They only got occasional luxuries and they were on sale. It was worth it to have their little loving family and they'd do it again.

Lampwick's bought her lots of rings over the years. Some were just for fashion. There was a promise ring in high school, of course her engagement and wedding rings. He just loves seeing her wearing things that remind them they're in it forever. They love each other! Some are plain, some have gems or other decorations. They come in all sorts of styles and they all mean I love you

Lampwick is always trying to get her attention while she studies. She gives him some but she really wants to do well so the best way is for him to try to study too. He gets bored easily though so she does stuff like find ways to make studying fun. That's a big reason why she became a teacher. She also likes how he'd complain about studying and his whining made her laugh.

They have a lot of fun having lazy days in Neverland. Lounging around picking fruit off trees, joking with the Lost Boys, and cozy nights by the fire looking at stars. They can feel young and carefree or they can look through at the beautiful sights and climb trees. It's perfect and they can still get back to pranks and going adventuring the next day. The first time Lampwick tried to teach her to cook, it was because he thought it'd be fun to do together. He tried to get her to come to a cooking class with him. It was a disaster. She broke three rolling pins, set a pan on fire, and cut herself on a knife. He learned first hand she could burn water. She kept trying because she doesn't like to admit defeat but finally she admitted she wasn't interested in cooking. He was very understanding and while he tried a couple more times to teach her for practical reasons, he found he didn't mind the idea of doing the cooking at ALL. The New Years they got together, Lampwick was worried she wouldn't want to hang out with him anymore because he'd be boring now that he was sober. He got really insecure when another guy talked to her. She told him the guy was just a teammate and that she only liked him. She also told him it made her happy that he was healthier and she loved seeing him get better and he felt better.

Once when Lampwick was scrambling to find an anniversary present for Tiger Lily (it's what happens when you're so PICKY), he found a silver ring. He was really tempted to give it to her, even when the owner showed up. But Lampwick felt bad because she was an old lady and it was her wedding ring so he reluctantly gave it back. She told him where he could find really nice jewelry though so it worked out. She knows he didn't grow up with a lot of means to provide for himself. So when they were young she took it upon herself to teach him. He has to AT LEAST hunt or fish, what if there's no food in winter! It took them both a long time to get used to Auradon being so rich and having modern distribution systems.

Lampwick put a lot of thought into her wedding ring. He'd gotten the engagement ring down but the wedding ring stressed him out. He was convinced she deserved more than a plain one and so he worked really hard and paid a lot to get it custom done. Tiger Lily loved doing roller derby. It's fighting on wheels! She loves the speed and adrenaline rush. Lampwick worried at first but came to watch. Turns out her skating and fighting is the hottest thing he's ever seen. He came to every meet and brought her snacks. He also cheers super loud and maybe got into a couple of fights with people who said rude things about Tiger Lily. XD Tiger Lily appreciates it but it sure is distracting! They went shopping once when they were still learning English. It was a huge fancy department store and sure enough, Tiger Lily got lost. XD Lampwick was freaking out but tried really hard to find her. Finally, he gave in and tried to ask someone there for help. It was hard to remember some of the words but he was really motivated here. XD Thankfully, she found herself at a help desk and so it was easy enough for them to be reunited. After that, he held onto her hand! Tiger Lily really worried about his history of substance abuse. He tried to brush her off at first, but she wouldn't let it go. Eventually she sat him down and had a mini intervention where she told him how worried she was. It was one of the big reasons he went to get help. And while now he's at a pretty good level of functionality, she still worries if he smokes more than usual. So she makes him see someone if it's getting bad again. So they like to rent movies, but Tiger Lily likes serious (Boring in his opinion) ones about serious problems. They make her cry and so he doesn't like them but she thinks it's important that they're aware. So to compromise they rent a serious movie and a happier movie. And then Lampwick pouts when award season comes around and her movies trounce his. 😛

Thanks to @askauradonprep / @blenderbender1811 for these ideas

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season 14 because i’m still hanging on by a thread)

-why did megan hunt have a fresh coat of mascara and some lip gloss on when she got flown in with her gaping abdominal wound LMAO

-teddy!!!!!

-i absolutely think they should tell megan about meredith and riggs and let her make an informed decision on whether she wants meredith to be her surgeon. this is greys anatomy, of course there’s gonna be a conflict of interest. they’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.

-somebody tell me when the show stops being worth watching. so far i’m hanging on bc i’m mildly interested in how jo and alex turn out, i want teddy and amelia to interact, and i’ve warmed up to arizona since she broke up with callie. obvi i love meredith i just don’t know how much more they can do with her before i just want her to take a warm bath and retire to somewhere far far away with her children.

-did amelia relapse offscreen???? wtf is going on???

-okay she has a tumor i guess. sure, okay, whatever. !!!!

-she put a gun in her !!!!!!!!! for a man???

-i don’t love the way they’ve introduced the new intern class. they set it up as if we already know them, whereas i feel like with every other class of interns we’ve gotten eased into it a bit more before we’re just tossed into this unfamiliar dynamic

-okay but wait i do like that in this ep w the roller coaster (and the people who are supposed to be baby cristina, george and izzie) they referenced the old intro. i think the writers knew they needed a little nostalgia to hook people back in at this point. jury is still out whether or not it’s working on me.

-maybe i’m stupid but why in the fuck would they have so many important things dependent on one networked computer system. why on earth would cardiac monitors be hackable?????

-idk about maggie/jackson…. seems too incest adjacent

-the casual gaslighting and manipulation with paul stadler is so well written

-“jackson avery, you are such a disappointment, i thought you were woke!!!”

-genuine question: do they just not do chemistry reads on this show when they cast romantic interests???

-*choked up*”right before she died, she told me i should be more slutty. and i just wish i could call her and tell her how slutty i’m being” i really do love maggie

-maybe i missed it but why does carina have an italian accent but andrew doesn’t?

-i like the development of jo and meredith’s relationship

-i think meredith and this firefighter woman should kiss on the mouth

-i like april better now that she’s kind of a mess

-OOH wait does helm have a little crush on meredith bc i’m kind of obsessed with that

-if there’s one thing greys usually kills it with its casting younger versions of characters for flashbacks

-i miss joe the bartender :(

-oh my god he gives them fake cancer so he can charge them for fake chemo?????? what the fuck

-too much of an emphasis on these lesbian cookies…. suspicious

-okay yeah that makes sense. i love this

-nurse olivia!!

-olivia of course has a right to still be upset but it’s a little weird to assume alex didn’t change at all in the past ten years. not to mention it’s weird to act morally superior about it now when she cheated on george with alex

-“if you wanna rebuild you have to tear it down first” bingo

-did i miss amelia getting her own place or is she taking this girl to meredith’s house??

-okay i guess she’s just moved in with owen again. i need to pay better attention lol but so much keeps happening and it’s a lot of mush to sift through

-“meredith grey is straight” “ever hear her talk about cristina yang?” LMAO

-PREGNANT?

[huxleyenne]

Stardew Valley Huxverse, An Overview

(Last Updated: 6/9/2023)

What is the Stardew Valley Huxverse?

The Stardew Valley Huxverse is fanfic author Huxleyenne's take (or hot take, if you'd rather) on the characters and setting of the video game Stardew Valley, created by ConcernedApe. Huxverse is canon-derivative but not fully canon-compliant. It is a not-for-profit collection of transformative fanworks created primarily (if not only) by me, Huxleyenne. The purpose of creating a Huxverse label is to distinguish it from canon out of respect for both ConcernedApe and fans who may or may not want to engage with the Huxverse.

Note: Not all fan theories explored or supported in the Huxverse are my original ideas. In fact, most of them aren't. I acknowledge that. They're fun ideas/theories to explore in fanfiction.

What is Stardew Valley canon?

For details regarding what is canon in Stardew Valley, visit stardewvalleywiki dot com, or purchase the game yourself on PC, Xbox One, PS4, Nintendo Switch, iOS or Android and enjoy it!

Characters in the Huxverse (all surnames are non-canon, with the exceptions of Mullner and Rasmodius)

Note: No two farmers exist in the same universe.

Protagonists:

Huey DeBeers (Male Farmer OC, marries only Shane) - Set in a universe where the farmer completes the community center and kicks Joja Co. and Morris to the curb. This farmer is very domestic, loving, and farm-centric. He is a somewhat self-absorbed, impulsive and neurotic workaholic who empathizes deeply with others.

Blayn Belcourt (Male Farmer OC, marries Emily or Abigail) - Set in a universe where the farmer sells his soul to Joja Co., but makes up for it by protecting the village from the monsters who invade it. This farmer is not so domestic, preferring a life of treasure hunting and combat. He loves horseback riding and hates fishing, much to Willy's dismay.

Those are the only two farmers I've created at this time.

Primary Characters:

Shane Hahn, eventual chicken husband to Huey in a slow burn, on-again-off-again relationship with sobriety. He suffers from depression and feelings of inadequacy. His only potential lovers are Huey, whom he marries, or Emily, in the event that Blayn marries Abi.

Note: Shane is my favorite bachelor and marriage candidate. I completed 100% perfection and 40/40 achievements married only to Shane as Huey and I'd do it all again. Search Huxleyenne on Steam if you want to confirm this.

Jas Carina (Shane's goddaughter) and Marnie Forst (Shane's aunt) are Huey's southern neighbors, business associates and eventual inlaws located in Cindersnap Forest. Marnie is sweet, loving, and very accepting of Shane's marriage to Huey. Jas adores Huey, fully recognizing his positive effect on Shane's mental health (psst, kids are smarter than you think.) To Jas, Huey is Uncle Huey.

Emily and Haley Sidney are half-sisters who live together on 2 Willow Lane. Emily is an important friend of Huey and Shane. Alternatively, Emily is one of two people who marries Blayn in the Joja Co. fork in the road. Either way, she'll be her usual cheerful, albeit eccentric self.

Caroline, Pierre, and Abigail Padmore live together in Pierre's General Store. Abigail strongly suspects that Pierre is not her biological father and has a strained relationship with both of her parents because of this. She spends most of her time looking for adventure and/or romance with Blayn, or friendship and/or romance with Sebastian (or Sam and Sebastian simultaneously, for my poly readers out there.)

Secondary Characters:

George, Evelyn, and Alex Mullner are townsfolk who live on 1 River Road. Alex and Haley occasionally hook up but are both noncommittal for Reasons.

Sebastian Berg, Robin Silva-Berg (heck yeah, that's a Suikoden reference!), Demetrius Silva, and Maru Silva are a family all farmers often do business with on 24 Mountain Road. Sebastian may date Sam and/or Abigail in either Huey or Blayn's world. Maru may try to date Harvey or Penny but holds back mostly due to her father's meddling. Maru and Sebastian both identify as bisexual, regardless of who they are with or if they end up with anyone at all.

Harvey Whitaker is the one doctor in town who resides in the town's Medical Clinic. He has feelings for Maru, his employee, but suppresses that because he knows it's inappropriate. All around, Harvey tries his best to be good.

Elliot Lew is a formerly wealthy man who threw it all away to pursue his passion for writing and nature. Leah Sagan is a former city girl who threw it all away to pursue her passion for art and slow-paced living. He and Leah are friends and occasional collaborators. Their dynamic is being the two folks who are told they ought to be a couple, but they never click, thus never hook up. Hey, if it ain't it, it ain't it.

Sam, Vincent, Jodi, and Kent Reed are a family who live on 1 Willow Lane and they all have struggles. Sam is self-conscious, somewhat immature, and terrified of angering either of his parents, though he's very protective of his little brother. Vincent is a sweet, if simple-minded child who is friends with Jas. Jodi became a wife and mother young, which has made her high-strung, overbearing and not too easy to get along with (unless you're Caroline). Kent is a veteran who has PTSD and is controlling but tries his best to integrate back into society.

Pam and Penny Lynch live together in a trailer on River Road. Pam is an alcoholic, and Penny is the tutor of Jas and Vincent. Penny is also a potential love interest for Maru or Sam.

Lewis Monday, a lowkey terrible, no good, very bad mayor whom no one does anything about unless Marnie breaks up with him, which I suspect many of us are thirsty for.

Morris Tesmetazon (too on the nose? Oh well, lol) is the big bad exaggeration of a store manager whom many of us love to hate, and for the purposes of the Huxverse, he'll stay that way.

M. Rasmodius, the wizard and mysterious estranged father of both Emily and Abigail, unbeknownst to both of them. Emily and Haley have the same mother, but are unaware that they have different fathers, explaining Emily’s penchant for forest magic and Haley’s lack thereof. Abigail is also unaware that Pierre is not her biological father, though she strongly suspects because a) she knows her mom’s cheated before and b) purple hair. Hey, if the Huxverse is gonna be soapy, it's gonna flood with suds. Embrace the drama, you nerds!

Note: There will not be any surprise incest between Emily and Abi. I hate that trope, so I'm not doing it. Sorry, not sorry.

Tertiary (for now) Characters:

Clint Moore, the town blacksmith. Whether he's a shy, yet harmless man who fancies Emily, or a full-blown creep who feels entitled to her affection depends on what the story needs him to be. I generally lean toward Clint being (mostly) harmless, rubbing people the wrong way at worst, though the Huxverse will never see Clint and Emily become an item.

Marlon Forge and Gil Simmons are members of the Adventure Guild. Marlon may be an alternative love interest for Marnie if she leaves Lewis.

Gus Mariano, owner of the Stardrop Saloon, employer of Emily, feeder of the homeless, and enabler of alcoholics. Whoops.

Willy Melville, a fisherman. Not much else to say.

Sandy Merchant, a friend of Emily, a business owner, turns a blind eye to the illegal casino operating in her store's basement. Hey, it's good money, and Sandy only gets one customer. Think about it.

Gunther He, the museum guy.

Linus and Leo only go by Linus and Leo, and live simple lives in nature by choice.

Whew. I think that's everybody.

Additional Characters (all non-canon):

Todd Hahn (high school quarterback) Doug Hahn (high school perfect grades) Shane’s two older brothers whom I made up to add to his sense of inadequacy. Ted and Shirley Hahn are Shane’s divorced and volatile parents, from whom he felt no love and hasn’t spoken a word to since he moved out of their house. Shirley’s maiden name is Forst, and she’s the older sister of Marnie.

Jonas and Jean Carina are Jas’s parents who died in a car crash when she was three. Shane, her godfather, Jean’s ex and Jonas’s best friend, temporarily took custody of Jas, and moved to Pelican Town from Zuzu City where his Aunt Marnie, a relatively stable business and homeowner, took permanent legal custody of Jas out of the kindness of her heart, explaining why Jas stays with her after Shane marries Huey and moves in with him.

Freya and Brady DeBeers are Huey and Shane’s children, whom Shane raises at home five days a week while Huey works. Emily is the surrogate mother of both of their children, and both are biologically Shane’s kin (Huey’s first marriage in his early twenties failed partially because he was biologically incapable of impregnating a woman, which is one reason he became a workaholic, and why he identifies and sympathizes so deeply with Shane’s sardonic nature as much as he’d rather not at first.) Yeah, I went surrogate rather than adoption. I'm not gonna lie. I just want to see Brady be a mini-Shane. And yes, I did name him after Tom Brady.

Will I post screencaps of my farms on tumblr supporting the Huxverse?

Heck yeah I will. Give me time and I'll make some good ones.

If others want to make Huxverse fic or fanart of their own, is that OK?

I have no problem with that, as long as it's understood that this is non-canon, not-for-profit, and just for fun; however, to be fair, these are gaps filled, connections made, and surnames researched and decided by Huxleyenne, so credit to Huxleyenne would be appreciated, whereas lack thereof will be considered poor etiquette and frowned down upon.

Note: I do encourage you all to engage with the world of Stardew Valley in your own way. It's only one take, which is already derivative not just of canon, but theories I've read about on various social media outlets. Project the concepts you want to see into your own work.

If someone creates work that is similar, perhaps identical to ideas presented in Huxverse without giving credit, what will Huxleyenne do?

At the end of the day, Stardew Valley is not my IP. I don't have much right to complain. Besides, I'm not the Internet police, and neither are the rest of you. Let's not condone the harassment of any randos on the Internet who might be kids and teenagers for all we know. Plagiarism is only plagiarism if someone copies my work word-for-word and presents it as their own. At the end of the day, that's the only thing that would truly bother me.

Could you let us know why you created this monolith of a post regarding canon-derivative concepts about Stardew Valley characters?

This post primarily is a resource for myself, so I can refer back to it and practice writing consistently without missing details that are important for my fanfiction. I also want to observe how helpful this approach is as I tackle original fiction.

Also, if readers want to know more about what I think as I write, they can use this as a reference if they want, but my hope is that my stories are clear enough and stand well enough on their own so that readers consider this post auxiliary, rather than necessary.

And now the fun question: Which ships will the Huxverse observe?

Shane/Male Farmer (Huey), Emily/Male Farmer (Blayn), Abigail/Male Farmer (Blayn), Shane/Emily, Alex/Haley, Sam/Sebastian, Sam/Penny, Abigail/Sebastian, Abigail/Sam/Sebastian, Jodi/Caroline, Rasmodius/Caroline, Penny/Maru

Also, the necessary question: What are the ages of the farmers, Bachelors, and Bachelorettes in Huxverse as of Spring 1, Year 1?

Huey (32), Blayn (24), Shane (30), Emily (28), Alex (21), Haley (21), Sebastian (24), Abigail (23), Sam (22), Penny (23), Harvey (35), Maru (22), Elliot (33), Leah (27)

Is any part of this post subject to change?

Yes, except for the S1Y1 ages. That I'll commit to. The rest could change based on shifting interests and new ideas as I interact with readers and fellow writers.

I read this whole post. What do I win?

Damn, you just won my respect. Good for you!

What?? Come on. What did I really win?

Well, would you look at the time? Gotta run! I'm a writer with a day job, and it's time to go. Later gator!

[fanboysfangirl]

Why’d You Have To Go- Andrew DeLuca

hi if your not on season 17 and don't want spoilers then skip this one. :) summary- you and DeLuca are married but nobody except your close friends and sister know. So everyone only thinks that you guys are engaged. your also pregnant! your only like two months so nobody knows. enjoy! Also your a trauma surgeon.

"Dr. Y/ln! Major trauma coming in!" Owen Hunt yelled running past me. I nodded and pulled my hair into a bun. I put gloves on and a trauma gown and waited for the ambulance. It only took two minutes to get there from the time we went out. We opened the doors and Carina jumped out. "Carina?" I asked. "It's Andrew!" I gasped when I saw my husband covered in blood. "What happened?" I asked running next to the gurney with tears in my eyes. "He was chasing that sex trafficker and someone stabbed him." Ben explained. I grabbed his hand. "Ehi piccola starai bene, io sono qui." (Hey baby your gonna be alright, I'm right here.) I said speaking in Italian so that I knew he was listening. "Ti amo." He replied back in Italian before they wheeled him away to the O.R. "I love you too Andrew! Owen tell me you'll save him." Owen nodded before walking away. As soon as they were out of the room I broke down into Carinas arms. "He's gonna be okay. He has to be." She whispered into my ear. — I followed her and Maya up to the cathedral after I had gotten changed and got a mask. I lit a candle for him and listened as Carina told Maya and I about how her mother bought one pair of roller skates and she put one foot in one of the skates and Andrew put his in the other and they skated around their house for hours. We heard footsteps behind us and when I looked up I saw Teddy and Owen walking in. I immediately got up and went over to them. "How is he?" I asked. Owen and Teddy's faces lit up with smiles. "He made it." Teddy said. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I would hug you if I could but I can't so I'll hug Carina but thank you." They both nodded and left me with Carina and Maya. "He's okay." I whispered into her shoulder as I pulled her into a hug. — I sat in post op, waiting for Andrew to wake up. I saw him slowly open his eyes so I got up so that he could see me. "Hey, don't try to talk okay." He nodded. I smiled at him. "Uhh Carina went to go get a coffee, she'll be back." He nodded again. "You did it. Because of you she's never gonna hurt anyone again, and the man who did this to you is in police custody okay?" He nodded. "Non spaventarmi mai più così." I said to him before grabbing his hand. He nodded. (Don't ever scare me like that again.) I saw blood start to trickle out of his nose and I saw him become less responsive. "Andrew!" I saw blood coming from his incision. I grabbed gauze from the cart beside me and started holding it to it. I saw the blood going through the gauze and onto my hands. "Owen!" I yelled out into the hallway. He came running into the room. "What's happened!" He asked when he saw what I was doing. "I don't know. One minute he was awake and the next he was bleeding." "Alright, get on the gurney and keep pressure on that, we gotta get him to the O.R now!" I nodded and jumped on the gurney so that both my legs were opposite of his. I saw his eyes open again as Owen and other nurses pushed him through the hallways. "Hey, look at me your gonna be okay." I said with tears rolling down my eyes. "You can't leave me okay! You can't leave Carina! You gotta pull through!" "Promettimi che ce la farai!" (Promise me you'll pull through!) He nodded and with his hand that wasn't hooked up to an I.V he grabbed my hand. I looked at him with fear in both mine and his eyes as we were wheeled into the O.R. A nurse helped me off the gurney and helped me put a gown, scrub cap, and gloves on. Before I left I went over to Andrew and bent down. "Starai bene. Ti amo. Quando ti svegli possiamo iniziare a parlare dei nomi dei bambini, ok?" (Your gonna be okay. I love you. When you wake up we can start talking about baby names, okay?) I whispered to him. He nodded. I kissed him on the forehead. "I love you so much, pull through for me." "You gotta go, y/n." Teddy told me. I nodded and walked out of the O.R to find Carina. I took my gloves off and looked at my husbands blood on my hands. On my wedding ring. I left my scrub cap and gown on and went to the waiting room to see Carina and Maya sitting next to each other. "Did they tell you?" I asked quietly. Maya nodded while comforting Carina. I took a seat next to her. — 20 minutes later Owen and Teddy walked out. We all got up and went over to them. "I'm so sorry Dr. Y/ln and Dr. DeLuca. He didn't make it." Teddy informed us. I broke down and fell to the ground. Owen caught me before I hit the ground. I held onto him tight. "It's Dr. DeLuca. We got eloped. Owen was there Im surprised he didn't tell you." I informed Teddy. She sadly nodded while watching me still cry onto Owens shoulder. — (7 months later) I held my newborn baby in my arms with Carina on my side. "What are you naming her?" She asked. I looked at her olive skin, hazel eyes, and brown curly hair. All traits she got from Andrew, not me. "Her name, is Andrea DeLuca. After her father." — btw i'm still pissed that they killed him off.

[englishstrawbie]

Serendipity (7/?)

Fandom: Station 19, Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca

Summary: A chance meeting at a bar leads to these two idiots falling in love. Follows canon and fills in the gaps of their relationship that we didn’t get to see on screen.

Also @ AO3.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Something On The Horizon

The secret to love is in opening up your heart 

– James Taylor

Carina waits until Maya is still and calm before she moves. The firefighter becomes a dead weight against her chest and Carina is pretty sure she has fallen asleep. Her right arm has grown numb and she shakes it, encouraging it back to life, before she shifts her body to one side and slowly coaxes Maya’s body down onto the bed. Her cheeks are red and her face is contorted into a frown, despite her slumber, and Carina is reminded of the first time they met – when she had been so curious to know why such a pretty face looked so downcast.

She has known that something hasn’t been right in Maya’s life since they met, noticing Maya’s deflection when she asks too many questions about her work and sensing a strange atmosphere when – Travis, was it? – had entered the kitchen that day she had visited Maya at work. Carina has never dug any deeper. After all, it has only been a month and it’s been full of dinner dates and amazing sex, but she knows they have both been keeping things casual. It isn’t the kind of relationship for deep conversations – at least, not yet.

Comforting Maya, as she had what Carina is pretty sure was a mild anxiety attack, was not exactly casual and she surprises herself at how much she wants to stay and take care of her, when in the past her first instinct would have been to get the hell out of there. She has enough broken people in her life already – her brother, her father – that she doesn’t need any more; she had told Maya this that day in her office when Maya had pushed her away, giving Carina the excuse to walk away. Yet she had stayed anyway, drawn to this woman who was a constant contradiction – strong, yet broken; confident, yet vulnerable.

She pulls the duvet up the bed, followed by the blanket, making sure that Maya is fully covered. She looks small, curled up in bed in a tight ball, and Carina places a soft kiss on her temple. She hears Maya exhale and Carina hopes that her rest will be peaceful. She can tell from the dark circles under her eyes that she has not slept enough lately.

Carina slides out of bed and retrieves her clothes from the floor, dressing as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Maya. She hunts around her room for a scrap of paper, but Maya keeps her apartment so neat and ordered that finding a notebook is impossible without rooting around her belongings. She resorts to using her prescription pad, stepping out of the room and digging it out of her bag that had been discarded on the sofa earlier. She scribbles a note, pours a glass of water, and creeps back into Maya’s bedroom, leaving the items on the bedside table and hoping that Maya notices them when she wakes.

It is a short drive back to the hospital and she arrives with minutes to spare just before her three o’clock appointment. Her mama-to-be is already waiting for her, settled in the chair opposite her desk and tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.

“You’re late.”

“It’s two fifty-seven,” Carina objects as she hangs her coat up on its usual hook and slips into her lab coat.

“You’re late for you,” Amelia counters back, her annoyance obvious. “I’ve been here for ten minutes.” Carina is the most punctual person she knows, except for Maggie perhaps, and what Amelia would call on time, Carina would call late.

Carina lets it slide. She knows why Amelia is wound up tightly like a spring and doesn’t push back. She sits down in her chair on the opposite side of the desk and shoots her a conciliatory look.

“I’m sorry, Amelia,” Carina apologises. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

She turns to her computer and types in her password, opening up Amelia’s records and pulling up the most recent update. She already knows what it says.

“Well?”

“The results of the paternity test confirm that Link is the father of your baby,” Carina says, getting straight to the point.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Amelia, I’m sure,” Carina says with a small smile, spinning the screen so that Amelia can read the results for herself.

Amelia looks at the screen, her expression staying the same, which confuses Carina.

“This is a good thing, no?”

She has been one of Amelia’s few confidants in the recent weeks and had encouraged Amelia to agree to Link’s request for a paternity test, knowing that everyone involved would rest easier when they knew the answer to the burning question – even if the answer was one they did not want to hear. Carina knows how crazy Amelia is about Link and how much she wants him to be the father, and she is glad to be able to finally deliver the good news that Amelia has been avoiding for the last couple of weeks. At least, she thought she was delivering good news – but Amelia’s expression makes her doubt it.

“Yeah… no… maybe,” Amelia says non-committedly.

“I thought this is what you both wanted?” Carina questions, leaning back in her chair and looking at Amelia curiously.

“It is,” Amelia says. “It’s just…”

Carina doesn’t say anything. She knows Amelia well enough by now to know that she needs a moment to process her thoughts before she can explain them out loud.

“Link’s going to be so happy. He’s going to tell me that he loves me and he wants us to be a family, but…”

“But?”

“But… how do I know he loves me, and not me as a package with this baby?”

Carina smiles sympathetically. “Amelia, don’t try to guess what Link is thinking. Talk to him. Tell him what worries you. Let him inside your head, your life. If you’re going to raise this bambino together, if you’re going to be a family, you have to be honest with each other.”

“That sounds like something Maggie would say,” Amelia mutters.

Carina chuckles and lets the issue rest, knowing not to push Amelia any more while she is still processing everything. “Are you feeling well otherwise? Eating healthy, getting enough sleep?”

“Hmph,” Amelia grunts, rubbing her bump. “I’d sleep better if he didn’t insist on playing football with my womb every night at midnight. But yes, I’m doing fine.”

“Good,” Carina says. “I have you booked in for another scan in a couple of weeks.”

Despite all the signs of a normal, healthy pregnancy, Carina has taken every precaution with this pregnancy, not only to make sure that it didn’t end in tragedy like Amelia’s first one had, but also to give Amelia the comfort that she needs to know that history won’t repeat itself.

“Thank you,” Amelia says. “For everything.” She has had Carina’s support ever since that day in this same office when she had realised that she was pregnant and has been happy to get to know her better over the last few months. After all, she owes Carina, and her study, her life. “And sorry, you know, for being grumpy when you first got here.”

Carina waves her hand, batting away the apology.

It’s Amelia’s turn to be curious. “Where were you, anyway? The nurses couldn’t find you.”

“I was taking a late lunch,” Carina says, purposefully evasive.

Amelia grins knowingly. “Huh. What’s her name?” she grills. “Or his name.”

Carina rolls her eyes. “Amelia…”

“Come on, I’m starved of gossip right now,” Amelia begs.

“My love life is not gossip!” Carina laughs.

“Ha! You said love life,” Amelia catches, grinning triumphantly. “Come on, spill!”

She pouts until Carina relents.

“Her name is Maya. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month,”

Amelia’s mouth twists thoughtfully, not recognising the name. “She works here?”

Carina shakes her head. “She’s fire captain at Station 19.”

It takes a moment for Amelia to connect the dots. “With Warren? Great, so now I know who to hit up for more information, since you’re clearly keeping this one close to your chest!” she says.

“Amelia!”

Amelia laughs and Carina decides to let her tease, glad to see her relax a little.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Carina says.

“Really?” Amelia looks at her suspiciously.

Carina is tempted to say more, to tell Amelia what really happened this afternoon and unload her thoughts on someone else for a change, but she knows it would be unfair on Maya – and she isn’t really sure how she feels anyway. Thankfully, she doesn’t have the chance, as she is saved by her pager as it vibrates aggressively against her desk.

“I have to go,” Carina says, grateful for the interruption.

“Fine, but we’re not done with this conversation,” Amelia says as pushes herself to stand up.

“Fine,” Carina repeats, knowing that she will be under scrutiny the next time they meet for lunch.

A complicated birth distracts Carina for the rest of the afternoon. She checks her phone every now and again to see if Maya has been in touch, disappointed each time to find her message notifications empty. She thinks about sending her a message, but doesn’t want to wake her if she is getting some much needed sleep, so she resists the urge.

She leaves the hospital later than she wished, a little after seven o’clock. She figures she’ll stop by Enzo’s on the way to Maya’s apartment and pick up some of the risotto that she keeps telling Maya she should try.

Their time together is usually so easy. She has noticed that Maya carries tension in her body, which Carina has always thought comes from having such an intense job, and Carina loves to be the reason that tension melts away. In those moments, Maya relaxes completely and becomes softer and playful, and she has a dry wit that makes Carina laugh.

Carina wants to be able to take that tension away now, whatever it is that is causing her so much pain.

She is her own world as she walks and doesn’t notice the hunched figure loitering in the dark outside the hospital until she bumps into him, their shoulders knock together forcefully.

Andrew’s eyes light up when he sees her.

“Carina!”

He steps into the light and Carina is immediately alarmed by his appearance. His skin is pale, his eyes are wild, and his hair is dishevelled. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Bailey’s still refusing to let me do surgery. I’m stuck on scut,” Andrew moans. “Can you talk to her? Please? Tell her I’m better, tell her that I’m ready to come back to work properly.”

“I don’t know…” Carina hesitates. His hands may have healed, but his head is still a mess. It is obvious to Carina and everyone around him – the only person who doesn’t see it is Andrew himself.

It is ironic, really. He has always berated their father for not being able to see his own illness, and now Andrew is following the same path. It breaks her heart to see him deny it and refuse her help.

“Carina, please. I’m better now. My hands are okay now, I’m going to counselling, I’ve moved home.”

Carina sighs heavily. “Andrea, you’re not well.”

She watches as Andrew reacts angrily, like he always does; his body becoming rigid as his face darkens. “Don’t start this again.”

“Please let me help you,” Carina pleads with him.

“You know, I thought I could count on you, but I was wrong,” Andrew spits.

Carina is used to him directing his anger and frustration at her these days, but it still hurts.

“You can count on me,” she argues.

“You’re just like Mer, you’re just like Bailey. Everyone pretends to care, but you don’t,” Andrew says. “Just forget it.”

He spins and Carina reaches out to stop him, placing her hand on his arm.

“Let me drive you home,” Carina offers.

Andrew shakes her off angrily, shoving her arm away roughly.

“I’m going to Joe’s,” Andrew says, stalking off before she can say anything else.

“Andrea!”

He ignores her and Carina sighs as she watches him disappear into the darkness. There had been a few weeks after he had come home from the hospital and was sleeping in her spare room that things had been better, probably because of the high dose painkillers that Avery had prescribed that made him drowsy and less argumentative. As soon as his hands were better, and he didn’t need his big sister coddling him, he had moved home, despite Carina’s reservations.

She has seen a steady decline in his mental health ever since he has been out of her care and she worries about him constantly. She is glad that Bailey is keeping him out of surgery for now. She doesn’t want him to repeat their father’s mistakes.

Maya’s home is a short drive from the hospital and, after quick stop at Enzo’s for takeout, Carina arrives just before eight o’clock. A neighbour lets her through the main entrance and she makes her way to Maya’s apartment, knocking softly. She hears Maya’s footsteps grow louder and hears the click of the lock, the door opening slowly.

“Hey,” Maya greets her.

Carina is relieved to see her looking brighter than earlier, with colour back in her cheeks – although it is perhaps a flush of embarrassment.

“Hi,” Carina says, smiling at her fondly.

Maya steps back and opens the door wider, inviting her in. Carina steps inside.

“The food smells amazing,” Maya gushes, ushering her towards the kitchen.

“I went for Italian,” Carina says. “Comfort food.”

She places the food on the counter, pulling the cartons out of the bag one by one. Maya avoids her gaze as she grabs two plates from the cupboard.

“How are you feeling?” Carina asks.

“Better,” is all Maya says.

She paints a smile on her face although she can tell that Carina doesn’t buy her façade. When Carina doesn’t speak, Maya feels compelled to fill the silence.

“A little humiliated, to be honest,” she confesses.

“Don’t be,” Carina says kindly. She leans back against the counter and watches as Maya clears the table for dinner. “Will you tell me why you were so upset?”

Maya shrugs her shoulders. “I think the accident got to me more than I realised.”

Carina knows that isn’t true. ‘I’m the truck,’ is what Maya had said, over and over again. She feels her skin prickle in frustration at having another person in her life who won’t let her in.

“Maya please – talk to me?” Carina urges her.

She can see Maya on edge, sees her body stiffen just as Andrew’s had earlier.

“Carina, really, I’m fine. I was tired and emotional, and everything got to me. I just needed some sleep, that’s all.”

Carina watches as Maya puts the plates on the table, fussing with the place settings to avoid talking. She thinks back to her conversation with Amelia earlier this afternoon, about how she had urged Amelia to talk to Link and share how she was feeling. Maya knows about Andrew’s hands, but Carina has never told her about his probable Bipolar or how she grew up with her father battling the same disorder. She is getting to know Maya slowly, but she knows enough to see the walls that Maya has built up. She recognises it in herself and she figures that if she is going to break down those walls, she should start with her own.

“My brother is sick.”

Maya’s head jerks up to look at her, a confused expression on her face.

“I thought he was better? You said Avery had cleared him for surgery.”

“He has,” Carina says. “It’s not his hands, it’s his head. He… he’s not well.”

She falters a little, not used to trusting anyone enough to talk about her family.

“I think he is Bipolar. In fact, I’m pretty sure he is. It… it’s something he gets from our father,” she explains. “He won’t get help and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Maya’s face is full of sympathy and she pulls out a chair.

“Come and sit,” she says, holding out her hand.

Carina walks towards her and accepts her hand, sitting on the outstretched chair. Maya sits in the chair next to her.

“Is this why you came to Seattle?” Maya asks.

“Bipolar can be inherited and Andrea is the same age our dad was when he started having manic episodes. I was worried about him. I wanted to be here, just in case.”

“And now he’s showing signs?”

Carina nods. “He’s always been emotional, but his moods are up and down so much at the moment. His lows are incredibly low, his highs are incredibly high. The day it snowed? He went out in the freezing cold and walked three miles to Seattle Pres and back without any gloves on his hands, and ended up with frostbite.”

Maya thinks back to that day and the way Carina had accosted her in her office. She had known that something wasn’t right, but had no idea that she was dealing with so much. She feels guilty for being so caught up with her own problems that she had not noticed that Carina was going through something so serious in her life.

“Doctor Bailey made him see a counsellor before he could return to work,” Carina continues, “but he won’t see a psychiatrist. No matter how many times I ask him.”

Carina feels tears in her eyes and looks away. She isn’t used to showing her emotions to anyone, and tries to brush it off.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get upset,” she says dismissively.

Maya looks at her reproachfully. “You’re allowed to be upset about this,” she says, reaching out and wrapping her hand around Carina’s, squeezing it gently. “You said your dad was Bipolar too?”

“He won’t see a doctor either, but yes I think so. He’s been manic for a long time,” Carina says. “It’s why my mom left him.”

“And it’s why you stayed?” Maya asks.

“Si. I thought I could help him. That by staying he would have a constant in his life. Except he wouldn’t listen to me either. And then…” She pauses for a moment. “When I was 17, he went to work in a manic state and spent the day operating when he was in no fit state to do so. Four people died.” She lowers her head, embarrassed by her confession, and only lifting her eyes when Maya squeezes her hand once again, encouraging her to keep talking.

“Now Andrea wants to go back to surgery and I… I’m scared for him, Maya.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I want to be able to help him, but I don’t know what to do. He won’t listen to me, he won’t listen to anyone. I saw him on my way out of the hospital this evening. He looked awful; he’s not sleeping, he’s angry. We got into another fight and he walked off.”

Carina lets out a heavy sigh, her hair falling forward. With her left hand still on Carina’s, Maya lifts her right hand and tucks the loose strands behind Carina’s ear, running her thumb over her skin gently. Carina presses her cheek into it, comforted by her touch.

“And you came here still? Why didn’t you go after him?”

“He won’t listen to me, not at the moment,” Carina says sadly.

She knows she has to be patient and give him the time he needs to recognise what is happening to him, but she’s not very good at it. She wants so badly for him to be okay and prays that he will get there soon.  

“I’m glad you told me,” Maya says.

Carina smiles. “I’m glad you know.” She takes Maya’s hands in hers, linking their fingers together and running her thumbs over the back of Maya’s hands to return the gesture. “Also, I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were feeling better.”

Maya purses her lips. “My bad day at work is not what you should be worrying about right now,” she scolds lightly.  

Carina knows that she is downplaying it.

“Maya,” she says softly, leaning forwards in her chair. “I think it’s more than a bad day at work.”

Maya shakes her head, but Carina interjects before she can dismiss it as not important again.

“You can talk to me, you know? I told you about my brother because… because I trust you. I would like you to trust me, too.”

“Carina, I…” Maya starts to object, but stops when she sees the way Carina is looking at her, her face full of compassion. She takes a deep breath. “I’m screwing everything up. My team – my friends – are mad at me and I don’t know how to make things right.”

“Why would they be mad at you?” Carina questions. “Because of Rigo?”

“No. Because I got competitive and I went for the Captain’s job, and I did whatever it had to do to get it, no matter what.”

Carina doesn’t follow. “No matter – what?”

“No matter who I stepped over, no matter who I pushed past,” Maya says quietly. “No matter who I hurt. My friends. My best friend.”

“Andy?”

Maya nods. The words suddenly spill out and she tells Carina everything – how she ended her relationship with Jack so that it didn’t interfere with the possibility of promotion; how she used Andy’s grief over Ryan as a reason to surpass her in the race for Captain; the truth about the camping trip and what was going on in her life the night they had met at the bar; the training drills and scoreboards; the grumbles and the talk back. She tells her about the looks and the silent treatment and isolation.

“They’re my family and I feel like I’m losing them,” Maya says.

She feels like an idiot, telling this story as Carina is fighting her own battles in her own family. She tips her head as she looks at Carina.

“You’re a good person. You came here to keep your family together and I… I’m tearing mine apart.”

“That’s not true, bella,” Carina says kindly. “Your competitiveness is part of who you are, it’s what won you the Olympic medal, it’s what makes you a good captain. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but…”

“But?”

“But I think that you’ve forgotten what’s important.”

She doesn’t need to explain it further. For Carina, family is the most important thing.

“My dad taught me that winning was the most important thing,” Maya says. “He taught me that I should always focus on the prize. Eyes forward at all times.” A small, sad smile passes her lips. “I did that with the Captain’s job and I won.”

“And was it worth it?” Carina asks.

The question is confronting and Maya shrugs, as if she doesn’t know the answer but she does. She knows that she is proud of herself, she knows that her dad is proud of her, but she also knows that the price she has paid is too high.

“What do I do?” she asks, a little desperately.

“Well, what would make the team trust you again? What would make Andy feel like you were putting her friendship first?”

Maya looks away. She knows the one thing that is within her power to do, but she is conflicted. Maya Bishop is not a quitter. Her dad would never allow her to quit for the sake of her friendship with Andy, and she feels her body stiffen with the thought of the rage she will face from him when she tells him. Yet, it surprises her that she doesn’t care, not the way she used to place so much about her father’s opinion.

Carina sees her thinking. “You have an idea?”

“Maybe,” Maya says softly. “But I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can just quit what I worked so hard to get.”

“Is it quitting? Or is it just telling the truth?”

She lets the question hang in the air for a moment. “You’ll figure it out.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because if the prize is rebuilding your family, then I know you’ll do everything you have to do to make it happen,” Carina says.

Maya smiles. “You’re a good person,” she repeats. “Better than I deserve.”

Carina shakes her head. “That’s not true. I know that you feel like your mistakes make you a bad person, but they don’t.”

“No?”

Carina finds that she likes the way this emotional intimacy feels. Her heart beats a little harder in her chest, her cheeks burn under Maya’s gaze, and her skin tingles under her touch. “I think you’re pretty great.”

Maya smiles. “I think you’re pretty great, too.”

She tugs at Carina’s hands until she takes the hint. Carina stands momentarily and takes a small step forwards, sliding onto Maya’s lap. Maya slips her arm around Carina’s waist and rests her hand on her hip, pulling her closer. Carina places one hand on Maya’s back, while the other becomes entangled in her hair as she dips her head and kisses her. Her emotions are spent and she craves Maya’s touch and her taste to forget it all for a moment.

“Feeling better?” Carina asks when they drift apart.

“Yeah,” Maya says softly. “You?”

Carina nods. It turns out her advice to Amelia was right. Just sharing her worries about her brother with Maya had lifted some of the weight from her shoulders. Carina kisses her again, only pulling back when she hears her stomach rumble in hunger.

Maya laughs against her mouth, but doesn’t let her go, holding her body close still. “I’d say we should eat, but I think the takeout’s gone cold.”

“Then we’ll order pizza,” Carina says. “But the good pizza, not your American kind.”

“You’re such a food snob!” Maya teases.

“Hmm,” Carina says, extracting herself from Maya’s arms enough to be able to lean across the table and grab her cell phone from her bag. She pulls up the number of the best pizza delivery place in town.

“Pick your toppings,” Carina says. “But no pepperoni. And no pineapple!”

[taylorkellyreporting]

my best friend convinced me to catch up on grey’s. i’m most likely going to regret doing this lmao.

“too bad there’s no sappy love songs about the part where your husband leaves you, you cry every time you see his toothbrush so you’re living on your best friends couch.” oh my baby jo i just wanna hug her damn you alex karev!!

“you’re probably not one to judge someone for leaving town with no goodbye or return date” 😭😭

completely forgot about deluca

skipping towen scenes is self care 😌

woahhh forgot that vic and jackson were dating…tf was that all about?

why is he so weirded out by her rooming with dean?

they handled this deluca storyline so badly omg

teddy will always be inferior to amelia that’s just facts

i know meredith is not ellen but hearing her complain ab billionaires when she makes shit tons an episode is really funny to me i’m sorry

another thing i forgot is how much of an asshole richard is

he’s bribing tom and i’m supposed to believe he’s different?

wow she doesn’t love him that much

🗣I’LL DO IT BECAUSE OF HOW WELL HE LOVED ME

feel like pure shit just want jolex back

“we’ve both seen people cling to their scalpels longer than they should have.” i wonder if he’s thinking about burk and the whole situation after he was shot

wow he’s going to take the money

i would’ve thrown my drink in deluca’s face, too

i love amelink so much why’d they break them up 😩

“it’s not karev anymore” FUCK

GODDDD SHE’S STILL WEARING HER RINGS

she just took them off right after i got done typing but STILL

mmm i don’t really like helm if i’m honest

“hunt and ka…jo” why does this hurt so bad

i just don’t understand why they couldn’t believe deluca

why do i feel like this rushing thing is going to bite meredith in the ass…

cannot imagine giving up my entire life for owen of all men

fuck everyone for not believing deluca and fuck the grey’s writers for portraying mental illness in the way that they have

meredith is way too old (and ugly)for deluca how did the writers ever think that they made an appealing couple

aww jackson’s bonding with his dad 🥺

“jo, that time in my mom’s basement was a one time thing, i’m a gay man.” PLEASE 😭😭

feels so good to see jo laughing again 🥺

jo calling alex her ex husband is causing me physical pain like yes i know that’s what he is but ouch

despite the deluca storyline, this ep was really good.

gonna try to watch this next ep but ngl i might skip it cause i just don’t care about teddy and her past

hayes looks damn good in a suit

“i hope i wasn’t supposed to bring my kids” kid. one kid. leo is amelia’s and always will be. sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

now what does catherine want?

catherine moaning wasn’t something i ever wanted to hear…i am traumatized

love seeing maggie kiss someone who isn’t her brother get some queen!!!

wait did they hook up or was that imaginary?

let me guess, maggie and richard have the uncertain futures while hayes and teddy have to confront hard memories?

hayes looks a lot better without hair

“it’s okay to fall in love again, you have my permission.” she’s a better woman than me bc i would’ve been like “fall in love again and i’ll haunt your ass.”

oh wow her girlfriend knew the whole entire time

teddy really named her daughter after the woman she was having an affair with sjdjfjfjdjs

HE’S BEEN A HALLUCINATION THIS WHOLE TIME?????? OH MY GOD???

damn that was a really really good episode

there’s meme of him? 😭😭

i find it so funny how unfunny that meme was. they could have done so much better pls

lmfaooo “you had a good run!”

damn. poor tom.

that meme format is so outdated 😭

fjgjfjdjs not her breaking into song 😭😭

“how do you fix it?” “singing lessons” lmfaooo

that scene with richard was so intense

lmao all that drama for braxton hicks 

whew that episode was great

i really like daya, i hope nothing happens to her

carina deluca my beloved<3

woah did not think it had to do with the replacement

did the writers really think having bailey with amelia while she’s giving birth was a good idea? the woman just had a miscarriage my gosh. will never forgive the writers for the storyline btw

“i’m okay, i just need a second” you’re standing over an open body???

lmaooo he’s dating her teacher

bailey is doing for amelia what george did for her when she was giving birth to ben i’m going to cry

as much as i love this moment between them, i really wish it was link and meredith with her instead

ON SPEAKER????

he knows damn well that was not a wedding gift 😭

that must’ve been so bittersweet for bailey

now owen knows how it feels

PLEASE jackson’s face when richard yanked his hand away from catherine’s 😭😭😭😭

she really thought he’d welcome her back to him with open arms even after everything she did i-

this bitch is evil she really had sex with tom and then immediately put on her wedding dress and had her engagement ring on her opposite hand like????

[gemmasmithwrites]

Top 5 Reads for October

October reading round up - I actually didn't read as much this month as I have in the past. I felt like I couldn't really connect to a lot of what I read or I had to force myself through it. Despite that, I did have some really amazing reads.

October stats

17 books total

- 5 novellas or quick reads

- 3 audios

- 3 non-Arc novels

- 6 ARC novels

Another by Fiona Cole - I had been waiting for this book since I read Lovers. I really like suprprise/accidental pregnancy books and watching the journey of the hero and heroine unfold while dealing with it. If you read Lovers, you already know Carina and part of her story. Her unwillingness to let a lot of her guard down is understandable. Not only is their chemistry hot as hell, but their banter was so amazing! It's probably one of my favorite books set in that world Fiona has created.

Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas - I was browing my Audible Escape looking for something different to listen to on my commute and I stumbled upon this delicious gem. From the cover to the blurb, I was totally hooked. I don't usually go for the OM/YW trope, especially with such a large age gap, but I loved every freaking moment of listening to this.

Twisted Marriage by Alessandra Torre - I probably should have sat in front of a fan while reading this, thats how freaking hot it was. The book starts right where Filthy Vows ends, so make sure to read that first. I really loved the way Easton and Elle's marriage was already full of so much love, and how they explored their sexual fantasies together with open and honest communication between them being the most important.

Imperfect Saint by Jess Bryant - Give me a book with a fake relationship trope, and you can guarantee that I'll read it. It's one of my favorite tropes to read. The story between Millie and Hunter is probably one of my favorite's from Jess. I read this as an ARC and I'm still trying to write my review to do it justice. It comes out in on 11/15, so I suggest you add it to your TBR and then pre-order it.

A Lie for A Lie by Helena Hunting - I started the audio on this on 10/29 and actually finished it this morning (11/1). I normally would include it for my top reads for November, but I just loved it so much. A Lie for A Lie is a spin-off from the Pucked Series featuring Rook Bowman, who we met in the (I think) Pucked Over. Enough time has passed that Rook is now the captain of his NHL team and meets Lainey on a trip to Alaska. I absoutely loved the journey between these two. Their relationship was definitely fated from the start.

[omeliashepherdhunt]

To the Stars

Another request from the beautiful @sheperdessamelia! 💜 I hope you enjoy this (and the small smut teasing)!

A– O 68: This isn’t what it looks like

O – A 67: If you don’t want to talk about it, then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.

A – O 74: You’ve shown me what love can feel like.

A – O 75: You make me feel alive.

——————————————————————————

Sleep. All Owen wanted was some sleep before he had his next surgery. Leo kept him up all night since he was teething. Both Hunt boys were miserable and exhausted. Owen decided to make his way to the on call room at the end of a rather empty hall. It wasn’t their on call room, but it would work.

Owen pushed down on the handle only to see Link on top of Amelia. She had her scrub top still on and Link was mostly dressed besides his pants pulled down in the front.

“What the fuck?”

Amelia immediately made eye contact with Owen and he watched the color drain from his face.

“Owen! This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It definitely looks like you’re screwing him. Next time you plan on hooking up with some guy, at least lock the damn door.”

And just like that, Owen was gone.

Nearly an hour had passed since he had unfortunately walked in on the woman he loved with another man. Just the thought of someone else inside of her made his stomach churn. He was angry. He was hurt. He wanted to bite Link’s head off at the same time he wanted to find Amelia, go to their on call room, and show her again and again just how much he loved her and craved her. He was paged 911 to the neuro floor, specifically “Shepherd, A. office”. She was supposed to take Leo for the night so when he was paged 911, he assumed the worst and took off in a sprint. Never mind the elevator, he effortlessly ran up 6 flights of stairs and came barging into her office.

“What happened? Is he okay?”

Amelia looked up at him from her desk and let out a small smile.

“Yes, Leo is still in daycare. I just visited him and gave him some more Tylenol. I needed to see you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Abusing your page… You were just in bed with another man so clearly you don’t need me.”

Amelia was taken back by his words. They weren’t typically a couple that swore at one another—not that they were currently a couple.

“I’m sorry Owen. I hate that you had to see that.”

“Me too. It’s disgusting.”

“Okay hey, I didn’t act like this when I interrupted you, Carina, and the French toast.”

He shifted to the small couch and put his head in his hands.

“Why did you do it?”

She surely wasn’t expecting to have to answer a question like that. She had so many reasons yet no reason. Amelia acted off impulse at the conference and it continued sporadically since being back. She didn’t know what to say. Any of her answers wouldn’t have sufficed. Owen wasn’t shy about letting out a rather loud sigh/growl.

“Fine then, Amelia. If you don’t want to talk about it, then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t. You paged me here but now you have no words.”

The same tears that had spilled on and off since she broke things off with Owen were starting to flow again.

“I wanted to see you because you’ve shown me what love can feel like. I miss you, Owen. I left you but that doesn’t mean it hurts me any less. Maggie has Jackson, Meredith has Andrew, and I have no one. I feel like I’m an empty shell. I don’t feel like a superhero anymore. I just feel incomplete. When you walked in earlier, for the first time in a long time, I felt something. You make me feel alive. I can’t change the past. I can’t go back in time and make you treat me better when we were going through all the drama we were between Teddy, Betty, and Leo. You shoved me onto the back burner and that’s what hurts the most. Link was a distraction. The only one I want is you.”

Owen looked up and saw how desperate and scared she looked. They were both overwhelmed by how vulnerable they felt. He needed her as much as she wanted him — and he meant that in every way.

“I reacted that way because he wasn’t me. I hate the thought of you with another man. I know that is extremely hypocritical but it’s how I feel. He doesn’t know you how I do. He doesn’t know how you like your hips to be grabbed onto when I thrust in and out of you... Or how you arch your back when I have three fingers inside you when I’m teasing your clit...”

Amelia began to squirm in her seat. He was only this sultry with her and it made her melt.

“Owen... Please. I need you.”

“C’mere then.”

She walked over and made direct eye contact while she locked her office door then briefly stood in front of where he was standing. Before she could even blink, Owen had her pulled onto his lap, stripping her of her scrub top and bra. He knew she was turned on by how pert her nipples were in between his thumbs and index fingers. It was only matched by his raging hard on.

“Please Owen... I can’t take it.”

Owen kissed away her fallen tears then turned to lay her down on the couch and pull off her pants and underwear. He quickly rid himself of his scrubs and positioned his erect cock in between her legs, just barely brushing against her swollen clit. Foreplay wasn’t always a necessity when it came to Owen and Amelia because they were so in tune and attracted to one another.

“I’ll show you what real love actually feels like... Are you ready?”

“Take me to the stars...”

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (31.57% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Entertaining, but overrated.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Though Nebula and Gamora trade a couple of lines on a few occasions, they invariably speak about either Thanos, or Ronan. 

Female characters:

Meredith Quill.

Bereet.

Nebula.

Gamora.

Carina.

Nova Prime.

Male characters:

Mr Quill.

Peter Quill.

Yondu Udonta.

Ronan.

Korath.

Rocket.

Groot.

The Broker.

Drax.

Thanos.

The Collector.

Denarian Saal.

Denarian Dey.

OTHER NOTES:

Seatbelts on spaceships should really be mandatory.

Aahahahaha Peter has a woman on his ship whose name he can’t remember and whom he forgot was even there! Oh, it’s so funny and charming! What a classic misogynistic cliche intro! Garbage.

Rocket chastises Groot to ‘learn genders’, and I don’t think the irony of a raccoon (a species with almost no visually-evident sexual dimorphism) saying that to a tree-person (whose species - if sexually dimorphic at all - certainly has no reason to adhere to the humanoid/mammalian model) is deliberate. The other alien higher-life-forms they encounter in the film are pretty uniformly human in appearance (not much effort going on in the ‘alien’ department besides just painting people in bright colours), but lack of imagination from the creative team doesn’t mean that the binary gender system we’re accustomed to on Earth has any broad bearing on the galaxy at large. 

Aaahh, and now Peter is explaining his scars to Drax, with lovely stories of women he cheated on in the past because he’s ~such a stud~.

Thanos tells Ronan off for his dull political raging and whiny behaviour, but he’s sitting on a shiny floating throne himself, so I’m not sure he’s earned the right to criticise what other people have got going on.

Rocket suggests that Gamora trade sexual favours to get things from other prisoners, because we’re being Like That with this movie.

The Collector keeps female slave ‘assistants’, whom he evidently treats so nicely that Carina commits suicide by infinity stone at the first opportunity in order to escape him. We’re just doing so well for the ladies in this film.

As a great comedic beat, Drax calls Gamora a “green whore”. It’s both a shitty line, and nonsensical, since Drax isn’t supposed to comprehend metaphors and he has no reason to believe Gamora is a literal ‘whore’ (nor is he likely to use such a colloquial term, considering the calibre of his standard vocabulary). Basically, it’s a rubbish line from every angle, and all in service of a misogynistic joke. 

This film is a terrible waste of Djimon Hounsou.

Ronan is very theatrically over-the-top in his pronouncements, but Lee Pace does his damnedest to make it work on delivery.

Why does Ronan’s flashy purple infinity stone weapon not kill people when he shoots them with its energy blast? Obviously it would be terribly inconvenient to the story if he just casually killed all the good guys, but honestly. It doesn’t make much sense. They coulda at least pretended there was a reason.

The part of me that is susceptible to acts of heroism is affected by the guardians all joining hands to share the stone’s power. Not enough to feel that the film or the character relationships actually connected on an emotional level, but enough that this ending doesn’t feel totally unearned.

Drax patting Rocket’s head while he’s crying over Groot is a lovely touch. THAT is the strongest character interaction of the film.

So. I’ll be honest: I don’t like this movie. I don’t think it works. I think it’s essentially just a string of gimmicks, loosely attached, entertaining enough on the surface but with no meaningful depth to hold in the mind or keep the audience engaged once the credits kick in (it’s also much heavier on the sexist tropes than any other MCU film previous). I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t give me anything that I value in a viewing experience, it just happens and then ends and that’s it. And the reason it doesn’t work is, frankly, the writing is lazy as shit. It makes a sub-par effort at establishing character and thus relies heavily on cliches, it rarely bothers to incorporate relevant plot and motivations and such into the story at early points in order to generate narrative pay-off, and the world-building is hazy at best and, like the characterisation, trades predominantly on expectation of stereotypes rather than actually creating anything original.

Let’s start in the obvious place: with our lead character. I’m tempted to just say ‘Peter Quill is garbage’ and then move on, because it’s true and also, he’s just not complex or interesting at all, which is ridiculous because he’s got that whole ‘alien abduction’ origin story and there should be like, literally any layers at all to his story instead of him just being an obnoxious Lothario who makes pop culture references like that counts as having a personality. But, here we are. I’m not familiar with the comics so I don’t know if this is a common complaint from fans who can’t believe their boy got all his nuances deleted in favour of such an inane cliche, but if this is exactly what Quill is like in the comics too? That’s no excuse. Part of the magic of adaptation is the opportunity to improve upon things the source material did wrongly or badly. The Quill we’ve got here in this movie is such a bland template he’s almost functionally useless; he barely impacts the story at all, especially in any way that is relevant to his personality or skills and necessitates his presence (the dance-off distraction is the only good Quill moment, and it’s also one of the few inspired choices in the whole film). At the end of the day, Quill exists so that the story has a Main Guy, being a straight white American male (and making sure we all, excessively, know about it), because God forbid we be expected to identify with anyone else. I have heard people sing the praises of the film for ‘subverting cliche’ by not having Quill and Gamora actively hook up by the end, as if that somehow makes it better that every single other aspect of that tedious forced romance plot is still squarely in place and set to play out in future films (pro tip: if the main guy still ‘gets the girl’, only it doesn’t happen in the first film, that’s not subversive. That’s still playing the trope dead-straight). Quill not immediately being shown to be rewarded with sex is not some incredible feat of original storytelling, and it certainly doesn’t absolve him of being a dime-a-dozen pig of a character. If that’s the most ‘unexpected’ character element you can cite, you’re in dire straits. 

Now, I’m not gonna talk about every character individually, because in most cases there’s not much to talk about; Drax is the big warrior guy with the Fridged Family backstory we’ve seen so many times before it elicits zero (0) emotions now; Groot - though an interesting idea on paper - is basically just a Deus Ex Machina of whatever ability is most useful at any given moment, too ill-defined to have boundaries to his powers and conveniently not using his full potential whenever it would allow the characters to win too easily; and Rocket, well, Rocket is actually the only one of the leads who manages any meaningful nuance, which is unfortunate because most of the time he’s just used for sarcastic comic relief. The other character I am going to talk about is Gamora, and it’s because she’s a prime example of how this movie fails to establish things so that they feel like they actually matter or the character’s motivations are understandable, etc. We are introduced to Gamora when she overrides Ronan’s order for Nebula to retrieve the orb from Xandar; as it turns out, Gamora’s introductory moment (literally the first time we see her or hear her speak) is also her act of rebellion when she puts into action her plan to escape Thanos’ clutches and go her own way. The problem, obviously, is this is her introduction. We’ve never seen this character before, we’ve only just met Ronan and Nebula as well, Thanos is barely more than a concept, as is the planet Xandar and the politics around it. Nothing has been established yet about the life that Gamora occupies, so her ploy to escape it? Meaningless. We don’t even find out that Gamora was not planning to retrieve the orb for Ronan until she tells us so after she’s been arrested, and we have literally no reason to believe her because we don’t know her yet because her character has not been established at all. The traditional way to do this would be to show her in her old life, doing as she’s told and/or witnessing terrible things being done by her compatriots, and showing the audience that she has clear misgivings so that when she turns, we understand the context and can believe that’s a logical character decision based on established personality and morals (think of Finn’s introduction in The Force Awakens for a textbook example). Because no time or effort is ever invested in establishing who or how Gamora is, everything we know is delivered to us directly in dialogue, all tell, no show, and what could easily have been the film’s most dynamic character is instead hampered by having her development choked off to avoid spending time on letting her origins matter (despite the fact that those origins are essential to the plot).

On which note, lets talk bad guys. Thanos first, because there’s not much to say, and that’s not a good thing: Thanos is actually pointless to this film, the only reason he’s there is so that the MCU can use him to actual purpose in later films and his relation to Gamora and Nebula and the hunt for the Infinity Stones needs to be established first, but as with everything else this movie is terrible at establishing things effectively. Consequently, Thanos...just floats around on a chair, and then Ronan tells him to piss off and we don’t see or hear from him again in the rest of the film, and there’s no real effort made to integrate Thanos into the story so that he seems like anything other than a dead-end subplot cluttering up the movie for no reason. The closest Thanos gets to anything notable is when he chides Ronan for his boring politics, but even that is symptomatic of the wider problem with this movie’s lazy writing: Ronan’s whole character is essentially just another dull archetype - in this case, the extremist villain - and a solid nothing at all is done to establish his politics or what they mean, other than death for the people we’re told are the innocents. This is a problem with the world-building of the film as a whole, because none of the galaxy’s politics is fleshed out, there’s no context to why the Kree have a problem with Xandar or why we should care, and Xandar kinda gets treated like the centre of the universe but it also seems that’s just for convenience sake so that the plot can return to a previous location for the final act. Hell, I haven’t the faintest fucking idea where Earth is supposed to fit in to all of this, other characters talk about it so it’s clearly a known quantity to the rest of the galaxy, and yet no one knows any details about it and Quill never bothered to go back there for reasons which really SHOULD be explored and yet are not even mentioned (that would seem like some of that characterisation he doesn’t have), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to interpret from that. I’m not confident that the creative powers bothered to think about it, considering how much they didn’t think about anything else. This is a movie where ‘human, but painted’ passes for ‘alien’ and society apparently functions exactly like Earth, tedious misogyny and all, despite the absence of cultural sharing to explain the Earthlike similarities (and boy oh boy do I HATE the laziness of science fiction where everything being identical to Western culture on Earth is treated like it’s ‘just the natural order’ that should be expected to develop in any sentient species, instead of a complex system shaped by unique and varied influences over thousands of years and dependent upon environment, religion, philosophy, and a myriad of other factors not replicated in these poorly-drawn ‘alien’ cultures. I get that you’ve gotta employ at least some shorthand in order to get on and tell your story within time constraints, but come on. If you’re not gonna think about world-building at all, don’t set the story on an alien planet). Above all else, we know that Ronan is the villain because he’s painted (literally) as one; he’s the bad guy through visually-indicated othering, because we all know good guys don’t look like that (whereas most of Ronan’s enemies on Xandar are just regular-looking white folks. Curious...). Sure, Ronan is also introduced spouting rhetoric and then smashing a dude with a hammer, and that seems like villain behaviour, but that only reinforces the point: Ronan’s role is made unmistakable through age-old tropes, and it’s never explored or subverted or made dynamic from there. Like Quill as the ‘hero’, Ronan is a dime-a-dozen cliche.

So anyway. Lets talk plot. This one goes like so: Quill collects the orb from Morag, where he coincidentally runs into Korath and company who just-so-happen to be after the orb at the same time (how it is that multiple interested parties only just found out that one of the most powerful destructive forces in the universe is just chillin’ on this abandoned planet, they don’t bother to explain). Quill runs into both Gamora, and Rocket and Groot, the other parties happening to be after him for different reasons and coincidentally converging on Xandar at the same point. Everyone gets arrested and sent to prison, where they meet Drax and promptly escape and fly to Knowhere so that The Collector can exposition-dump about Infinity Stones. Drax calls Ronan up, just literally straight-up calls the bad guy to come and find them because I guess figuring out a normal plot reason for the villain to catch up with the good guys was too hard, so we had to go for extreme stupidity instead. Ronan gets the orb and goes back to Xandar to destroy it, and our main characters figure they should stop that, so they do. Roll credits. Now, you can make pretty much any story sound basic and stupid by breaking it down into its component pieces, but the important thing to note about this layout is how many convenient or just plain stupid aspects there are. There are almost no character meetings or story developments that come about logically through the sensible development of plot driven by character’s motivations springing from established narrative, etc, and part of that problem is absolutely because there’s so little established character/world-building to begin with, but it’s also because whatever there is tends to apparate when it is needed without any sign of existing beforehand; that is, very little of the story is seeded early on so that it can come to fruition later in a narratively satisfying fashion. The Nova Corps sentence the characters to the Kyln prison as if it’s a big scary concept, but we’ve never heard of it before so we have no reason to consider it trouble. Drax appears and other characters literally tell us why we should pay attention to him, instead of him being, say, pre-established (SUCH AS by having his family tragedy shown on screen as a dual-establishing event for him and Ronan, or something to which Gamora was privy in some way in order to intro her misgivings as discussed above, or even just having someone reference the legend of Drax the Destroyer BEFORE getting to the Kyln (you could also, y’know, establish the Kyln itself in talking about how Drax was sent there. Just saying)). Intro the idea of Knowhere and/or The Collector BEFORE heading there so that it’s less convenient for Gamora to just-happen to have a buyer already set up for the item we didn’t even know she had planned to steal as part of the escape plot we didn’t know she was hatching. For the love of everything, establish some actual REASON for Ronan to follow our characters to Knowhere, instead of just ‘Drax got drunk and called him’. Link the pieces of your story together with concepts and developments that build upon each other in a narrative progression. That’s the difference between having a plot, and having a string of chronological set pieces (some of which - like Morag and the Kyln - don’t even have a purpose anyway beyond providing some action-scene opportunities). 

Before I close this out, I just want to run through a little exercise to demonstrate something that you never, ever want to happen in a story. You never want to have a lead character who can be deleted from the plot without leaving a hole too big to be easily filled by the rest of the cast. But what happens if Peter Quill is removed from this story? Well, pretty much all of the misogyny disappears, so that’s a plus. Someone else is gonna have to retrieve the orb from Morag, but we could easily send Rocket and Groot to do that. Gamora can still fight with them on Xandar exactly as it happens in the actual movie, only this time it’s not just pure coincidence that they conflict. We saved vital time that the film spent on Quill’s inconsequential childhood abduction (and we could save more on trimming the pointless action on Morag), which is time that could be better spent on all that other establishing crap I was talking about earlier, tightening up the narrative. Quill doesn’t serve any important purpose in the Kyln, so we can remove him from that no problem, nor does he matter on Knowhere other than a frankly stupid and ultimately pointless moment when he saves Gamora (definitely unnecessary when we’re removing the romantic subplot bullshit along with Quill). And then what? The characters agree that not letting Ronan destroy the galaxy is probably a good call (not Quill-relevant), they head back to Xandar, fight some bad guys, hold hands, win the day. We lose Quill’s only good moment in the form of the dance-off, but it’s an acceptable loss in order to strengthen the entire rest of the film by deleting the most meaningless character: the lead. We also arguably lose the Ravagers in the process, but as much fun as Yondu is, the plot can also survive completely intact without him (the only time the Ravagers matter is for the previously-identified useless damsel contrivance with Quill saving Gamora, and then they do help out on Xandar in the end, but they aren’t necessary for that - the Nova Corps could have been expanded just a smidge and taken care of everything). On the other hand, if you remove Gamora, you lose the connection to Ronan/Thanos as well as the moral compass of the Guardians; some other character would have to be significantly altered to fill the gap. You lose major Deus Ex Machina skills without Groot, and without Rocket someone else’s narrative has to change in order for Groot to have a buddy (plus you need a new mastermind for various plans, though that’s an easier hole to fill). You skip Drax and you do lose a major plot development in the form of him drunk-dialling Ronan, but admittedly that’s one of the worst things in this whole dumb waste of a movie, so maybe it’s not such a loss. You could ditch Drax. But, that’s not important, because Drax isn’t packaged as the leading man: Quill is. If you delete Drax, you don’t really streamline or improve the story (you could fix the one big flaw in his character very easily, he doesn’t have to disappear for that). You delete Quill...I know, comic book adaptation, dropping the main character is not considered an acceptable alteration when you’re improving the story for the screen. But come on. The least they could do is make him actually matter, not just be a perfunctory inclusion for the sake of sticking this ‘weird sci-fi’ as firmly in the centre of over-done cliche as a lazy gimmick story ever could be. There are a few chuckles to be had with this film, and it’s not entirely boring, but it’s not half as endearing nor even an eighth as inspired as it thinks it is. I’m not impressed by any of it.

[calzona-ga]

Debbie Allen was out in Los Angeles recently when a group of excited teens approached her. “They wanted to tell me how much they loved my character and the show,” says the actress, who plays Grey’s Anatomy’s formidable Dr. Catherine Avery and serves as one of its directors and executive producers.

It’s a rare accomplishment for a TV series to make it to 14 seasons and 300-plus episodes. It’s even rarer when a show not only retains its longtime viewers—11 million and counting—but adds new fans, particularly those in the coveted 18–49 demographic that keep ad dollars flowing. (Grey’s is ABC’s No. 2 show in this demo.)

Since the drama began streaming on Netflix several years ago, women under 35 and teens have been catching up on the sexy, soapy and sometimes tragic lives of the surgical team at Seattle’s Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. “I’m told that 20,000 teens each month discover Grey’s on Netflix and once they’ve binged there, they find it on ABC,” confirms executive producer Krista Vernoff, who was asked by creator Shonda Rhimes to return as co-showrunner this season, after first working on the drama for Seasons 1–7. “My 12-year-old stepson and his friends watch obsessively!”

The enduring success of Grey’s Anatomy comes down to two elements, star Ellen Pompeo (Meredith Grey) believes. “Sure, streaming helps so kids can see the original episodes and get hooked, but the fact that the show holds up with a new generation is a testament to how great the cast and the writing have been from the very beginning,” she says. “As for our super-loyal fans, they’ve stayed despite losing great actors because they want to see how those changes affect the show.”

And boy, have there been changes. First, Isaiah Washington (Preston Burke) was fired in 2007 after using a gay slur on the set. Then T.R. Knight (George O’Malley) and Katherine Heigl (Izzie Stevens) quit. More recently, fans were outraged by the shocking death of Patrick Dempsey’s beloved Derek Shepherd in April 2015. The latest change: Vernoff’s pivoting from the “necessary” darkness following Derek’s death. “People are wanting more joy and humor now—we need relief,” she says.

It’s a turn that pleases Pompeo, who admits she wasn’t that fond of the last two years. “There are seasons where I’ve not been optimistic,” she says. “But I couldn’t walk away just because I didn’t like what the character was doing at that point.”

Which is good news, since the consensus is that there can be no Grey’s Anatomy without Meredith, “the heart and soul of the show,” says Vernoff. So keeping the star committed is a high priority. To that end, Pompeo has taken on a producer’s role and directed her first episode last March; she’ll do another later this season.

Though Vernoff promises that “straight-up comedy” is on the way, one unfinished story from the dark side must wrap up first: the arrival of Dr. Paul Stadler (Matthew Morrison), the abusive husband who caused Jo Wilson (Camilla Luddington) to run away and change her identity years ago. How she and boyfriend Alex Karev (Justin Chambers) cope comes to a head on the January 25 hour. “It is my hope,” Vernoff says, “that any audience member who is triggered by this story of domestic violence will be inspired to get help.” In the same episode, a disturbing case involving police bias in a young man’s shooting leaves the devout April Kepner (Sarah Drew) with a crisis of faith.

Kicking off the lighter arc on February 1 is a Dr. Bailey–centric episode that uses flashbacks “to fill in the blanks about why Bailey is the way she is about stability, risk, excellence and anxiety,” says Chandra Wilson, who plays the endearingly gruff chief of surgery. It culminates with her current problem—how to deal with her husband, Ben Warren (Jason George), who’s leaving the hospital to join the Seattle fire department. (George stars on a still-unnamed Grey’s spinoff, which premieres March 22.)

The second half of the season will also provide plenty of romance. There’s a potential triangle among Jackson Avery (Jesse Williams), his ex-wife April and stepsister Maggie Pierce (Kelly McCreary). Plus, more complications are brewing for Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw) and new doc Carina DeLuca (Stefania Spampinato), who’s also been enjoying some romps with Owen Hunt (Kevin McKidd).

“This is the first time in a long time that Owen’s not attached to a significant relationship,” says McKidd, whose good doctor has had two failed marriages, suffered from PTSD and learned his presumed-dead sister is alive. “It’s been fun to play a more easygoing Owen.”

But don’t hold your breath for a new love for Dr. Grey, who will focus on her entry in the hospital’s new surgical innovation contest. “Meredith’s whole purpose can’t be filling that spot that Derek left,” Pompeo says.

[i-may-have-a-point]

Review of 14x01 “Break Down the House” and 14x02 “Get Off on the Pain “

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you.”

There are a few things we can count on with Grey’s Anatomy.  One, the voiceovers are meaningful.  The words that begin and end each episode are intentional.  Two, most seasons (13 was a glaring exception) are written with the end in mind.  Where our characters start is rarely where they finish.  However, where they start is still important.   Three, when the show promises a lighter, happier season, we will always get the exact opposite.  With that said, once I heard the opening voiceover, I knew we should expect pain and lots of it.  And in true Grey’s fashion, they delivered.

Let’s start somewhere easy.  

Ben/Bailey-  Benley spent most of the two hours snacking on the stairs of the main lobby, overanalyzing the construction workers, and discussing shoes. When I heard Ben would be going to the spin-off I wondered what their story would be this season. Season 12 brought us rebellious Ben who sliced people open with clipboards and waited for his wife to chastise him.  Season 13 brought us doormat Bailey who let Catherine Avery intimidate her into thinking she didn’t know how to run a hospital, which of course, led to the terribleness that was the Eliza storyline. So for season 14, I could do with a little less Benley. I adore both of them, but honestly, I would be okay with them staying on the stairs.  

Megan/Nathan/Meredith - Megan’s return is something we have all been waiting for since we heard she was only” presumed dead.”  It could possibly be the least shocking return from the dead in the history of television.  Predictability aside, I appreciate that while this feels like a different version of Addison showing up in her fur coat, Mer and Megan stayed mature in an awkward situation.  They are setting up Mer and Nathan’s relationship much better than last season as well.  In season 13, we collectively cringed each time Nathan asked Meredith out because after fifteen rejections, you’ve got to take a hint, man.  By the time they ended up on the plane together it felt so forced that it was hard to root for them.  Having Nathan show that he is torn between the two is warming me up to Griggs more, though.  And that proposal scene has so much secondhand awkwardness that I literally threw my blanket over my head so I didn’t have to watch.  My guess is that in the end, Megan will choose her son over Nathan and return to Iraq, and Nathan and Mer will find their way back to each other after an entire season of pining from afar.  

Amelia/Owen/Teddy - I thought Teddy was such a nice addition to these two episodes.  She was absolutely correct that Mer operating on Megan is a conflict of interest, and I think Teddy and Owen have great chemistry.  Just like Megan’s return, Amelia’s brain tumor also feels like a new version of an old story - Izzie’s brain tumor.  Are we going to see her freeze her eggs as well?  Because all Owen Hunt has wanted for the last 74 years is a baby, and he clearly has no problem finding a new woman if he needs to.  Staying faithful is not his strong point.  As much as I like Owen and Teddy’s chemistry, I felt that having Owen cheat on his wife who wouldn’t give him a baby yet again, really put a dent in his character.  Giving Amelia a tumor should make for some great dramatic scenes with Owen, Amelia, Mer, etc., but it also pushes the “Owen finally gets a baby” story back another season.  And really, unless Caterina leaves, which I don’t think she will, Amelia will be fine.  Krista said in an interview that she wanted to explain Amelia’s ooc actions (a nice way of saying bad writing) so she decided to give her a tumor.  That’s how bad things got in season 13.  They can only be explained by a brain tumor.  Nice.

Jo/Alex/Deluca - Looks like they quickly kicked Deluca out of the picture, and made it pretty clear this will not be a triangle.  Every time Alex or Jo started talking to each other I so badly wanted one of them to say, “Why I haven’t I seen you in eight weeks?”  Last season they could barely look at each other without getting teary-eyed and mopey, and this season they act like most of s13 didn’t happen.  I guess that is another way Krista is trying to fix the writing.  Just act like it didn’t happen.  I wish we had that luxury.  I am a Jolex fan.  I think they belong together, and I want to see them get rid of Paul and live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, happily ever after usually lasts about five episodes on this show, so the fact that they are so happy in the premiere makes me nervous for where their story will go from here.  Also, I know Jo sleeping with the intern was supposed to be shocking and funny, but it made me cringe.  For a woman who has been with multiple abusive men in the past, Jo going home with a man who is essentially a stranger seemed ooc.  Also, she snuck out of his room in the morning and then had sex with Alex hours later in the Resident’s Lounge.  I hope she showered in between.

Arizona/Carina - Carina is already better than Eliza, but I am not completely sold on this story.  This was also incredibly predictable.  Once she was announced as joining the show, most of the fans called that she was joining for Arizona.  How did we know?  Because that seems to be the only story Arizona can have.  I am all for her finding someone and finding happiness, but I would like to see Arizona, the doctor, again as well.  

April/Jackson/Maggie - Before I say anything else, I have to say that Sarah Drew is incredible.  Her heartbreak was so real and so tangible that it made an unbearable scene beautiful.  

I see this from two angles.  One perspective is the show (Krista? Shonda?) wants to end Japril and has decided to put Jackson with Maggie because (like Arizona) hooking her up with someone seems to be the ultimate goal, while her abilities as a doctor and her character development are ignored.  There were some hints that this may happen.  I think Jackson and Maggie may have been trying to have some moments, but it is so hard to tell.  I have to rewatch their scenes and analyze are they being intentionally awkward or is the awkwardness a result of their lack of chemistry?  Is that a confused look or a thinking look? Was that a smile or a grimace?  With Japril and Maggie/Nathan and Maggie/Deluca their feelings were always clear.  Now whatever they are doing is making their already painful scenes more difficult to watch.  If Jackson and Maggie is something they pursue, they will have a hard time getting the audience on board.  The majority is adamantly against it, and they will never come out from Japril’s shadow.  Japril’s story cannot be matched or recreated, so Jackson/Maggie would eventually become a side couple who just happen to be on a show that people are watching for Griggs or Jolex. As viewers we feel so disrespected that there is no saving that ship in our eyes. From this perspective it was difficult to watch Jackson sit there and not respond.  Or to accept the idea that he would think sex to April could ever be casual.  It was heartbreaking.

Another perspective I see is that Japril may not be completely dead.  I am not at all trying to give out false hope.  I saw what you saw.  But as painful as it was, I am happy that April said what she was feeling and that Jackson was clearly bothered by knowing he had hurt her.  And as much as I wanted him to fight for her, to say something, anything, watching them sit in silence, holding hands made me think about how through everything, the love and respect has remained.  They may be the only couple in the history of the show who have stayed faithful to each other no matter what.  The writers could have destroyed them completely.  We easily could have seen a Jackson/Maggie hook-up that would have broken them in a different way.  Instead, we saw April tell Jackson what she needed to say and Jackson listened.  Writing the scene that way leaves that trust, respect, and love in tact so that it can be revived.  The episode had a couple of other moments made me wonder if they were hints as well.  Maggie’s relationship with Deluca was brought up for the first time in forever, and Maggie seemed pretty excited that he called her beautiful.  Granted, Maggie would get excited about a man offering her a tissue when she sneezes, but again, Grey’s does not write random lines.  Plus, Deluca is officially out of Jolex’s relationship, I believe.  So that is something to keep an eye on.  Also, Maggie and Webber had a clear father/daughter scene where he talked about hoping she got her talent from him.  So, for anyone arguing he isn’t her dad, the show seems to say otherwise.  I thought it was interesting they put that scene in if they have any thoughts of Jackson and Maggie happening.  Krista says April has a complicated journey this season.  I would argue that she has had a complicated journey every season, but for them to openly say it has my wheels turning with ideas.  And of course, these things on top of Jesse and Sarah’s open support and love for Japril leaves me with a flicker of hope.  

They left hope for a reason.  If we are to believe the words that opened and closed the show, then this season will be about breaking things down to build them up better the second time.  

We’ve seen how they are going to break things.  Now let’s see how they fix it.

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you. If a bone is healed unevenly, we have to re-break it. If a scar is too thick, we have to scrape it off and create a new wound. We break you down to rebuild you. We go to medical school because we want to learn how to fix what’s broken, but we quickly learn that we often have to make things worse before we can make them better. It’s risky, and it’s frightening for surgeons and for patients, but usually, it’s worth it. You get a second chance at life, and we get to be the architects of your second chance. It’s win-win, when it works.”

[tragicbeauty1991]

POTC 5: Barbossa, Salazar, and an Alternate Ending

WARNING: SPOILERS

I have been a big fan of the POTC franchise since the beginning, and while I honestly think that Disney is trying too hard to milk every last penny from it and that POTC 5 should be the last of the series (or perhaps that it should have ended before now), I will say that, despite its flaws, the most recent installment wrapped up a lot of loose ends nicely and gave us some great additions to POTC lore and character development. While Jack, unfortunately, suffered a bit in this film--his usual wit and charm replaced almost entirely with attempts at comic relief--Barbossa and Salazar generally make up for it.

Throughout the series, Barbossa has been, in my opinion, one of the most morally ambiguous and well-developed characters, and this installment only furthered my convictions. Originally viewed as a villain opposite Jack, Will, and Elizabeth in the first film, by film number three, he has teamed up with the main couple to help rescue Jack and fight against the "bigger" Big Bads Davy Jones and the British Navy. Here, he is portrayed as being a bit more noble (well, by pirate standards, anyway) and shows great respect for Elizabeth as the Pirate King when she steps up and leads them into battle. By film number four, he has apparently become a privateer (though primarily out of a desire to hunt down Blackbeard in revenge for taking The Pearl, and with it, his leg) but this endeavor doesn't last long, and as soon as Blackbeard is off the radar, he goes back to his pirating ways. And even AS a privateer, we see a moment of what cruelty he is capable of when he leaves his crew to die at the hands of the mermaids. Nevertheless, he pretty much fully redeems himself in the most recent film through his relationship with his daughter. While, admittedly, it was a bit cheesy and perhaps somewhat out of character at times, I loved the implication that there was once a woman Barbossa genuinely loved and that, upon her death, thinking himself incapable of raising the child, he was actually strong enough to do the right thing and find a place to take her in. It was strange yet incredibly touching getting to see this softer side of Barbossa. The moment Carina slapped him for (supposedly) insulting her father, you could see it in his eyes that he was torn between feeling hurt and ashamed of what he was and simultaneously being proud of her for having the guts to stand up to a pirate of his stature in defense of her father. I would honestly have loved to get an entire film's worth of father/daughter moments between these two, and after seeing him come so far as to be willing to sacrifice himself for her safety, I really hated to see him go. More on that later...

As for Salazar, I am not yet quite sure what to think about him or how to categorize his character. On the one hand, we have to remember that we are (technically) rooting for the "bad guys" by society's standards, and while we all love Jack & co., pirates were a real and troubling threat to merchant vessels, the navy, etc. Not everyone they attacked deserved it, and not all pirates are as morally decent as Jack, Will, Elizabeth, etc. usually are. In his mind, Salazar is doing his duty to society and protecting the innocent. Yes, we get a glimpse of him refusing to show mercy to a group of pirates who have surrendered, but to be fair, had their roles been reversed, many pirates might not have shown mercy either. Additionally, Salazar has a personal motivation to dislike pirates, as they were responsible for the deaths of both his father and grandfather--men whom he looked up to, respected, and probably loved. We don't know exactly how old he was when this happened, but if he was still a child at the time, it would have been EXTREMELY difficult for his mother, as a single woman during a time when most respectable women were not employed much outside the home, to support him and herself. Furthermore, Jack--as a boy--both humiliated him and doomed him to what must have felt like an eternity of a ghostly/undead existence trapped in the Devil's Triangle. I was reminded, here, of a parallel between the Salazar/Jack relationship and that of Captain Hook and Peter Pan... Jack, much like Peter, is the young, cocky boy who somehow manages to get the best of the more experienced, older sailor. In the original novel, there is actually a line about how Hook (who is stuck in a place which for a child is paradise but for an adult is a living nightmare) feels like a lion in trapped in a cage into which a sparrow has flown. Similarly, Salazar himself tells us that he is the one who gave Jack the surname "Sparrow" because he was "up in the crow's nest...like a...like a little bird." Whether or not the parallels were intentional, I don't know, but as a long-time fan of Hook, it definitely made Salazar a more interesting and sympathetic character to me. On the other hand, Salazar is incredibly legalistic (like Inspector Javert on steroids), obsessive, merciless, and unnecessarily cruel. I realize the Spanish and English navies weren't exactly friendly toward each other, but you have to admit, Salazar and his crew slaughtering the members of the British navy who enter the Devil's Triangle was rather uncalled for. It's like he did it just because he could. He is also so focused on ending Jack's life that he leaves his newly un-cursed crew to drown at the bottom of the sea. Then again...Barbossa did almost the exact same thing with his privateer crew in the previous film when he left them for the mermaids, and we still root for him... Why is it that when Will Turner seeks revenge on Davy Jones for cursing his father or when Barbossa seeks revenge on Blackbeard for stealing the Pearl and the loss of his leg, we root for them, yet when Salazar has an equally legitimate reason to hate Jack, he is a villain? (I know, I know... Because it's Jack's story and you can't really dislike the protagonist. But still...) Salazar is an interesting guy, and it just seemed WAY too easy to have him turn mortal for all of five minutes and then immediately kill him off. Plus, I felt bad because DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNED HUMAN AGAIN?!?! He was practically on the verge of weeping for joy! I really wish they would have allowed for him to potentially return in human form for future films. I also have to wonder, having earlier mentioned his likeness to Javert, if put in a similar situation in which the pirates shattered his illusion of the world as morally black and white, he might have had a change of heart (or ya know...a mental breakdown...). Either way, I wish we got more Salazar.

...Which brings me back to the point I was making before... As moving and poignant as Barbossa's death was, I don't believe that was actually necessary. Realistically, with Salazar mortal and his entire crew swept away by the sea, it would have been easy for Jack's crew to take him out once the anchor was raised and everyone was back onboard the Pearl. He would have been severely outnumbered, and they could have easily killed him or taken him captive. True, you could argue that Barbossa was worried Salazar would get to Carina first and harm her before they were back on the ship, but with him in mortal form, all Carina would really have to do to disable him is give him a swift kick in the face. Besides, if she hadn't been so overwhelmed in the moment, I don't think Carina would have willingly let go of her father's hand. She literally JUST found out that the man who saved her life, the infamous pirate captain of Blackbeard's former ship The Queen Anne's Revenge, is the man she has spent her entire life searching for. You can't convince me that she wouldn't have clung to him for dear life if she had been in her right mind. I don't blame her, mind you--it's a lot to take in in such a short amount of time, and I don't think she had time to fully process it all, but if she had thought about it, I'm certain she would have refused to let him go.

So imagine it, for a moment....

xxxxx

Barbossa guided her hand to the chain, telling her to hold on as he began to loosen his grip, a sad smile on his face. He only just met his daughter but he was already so proud of her. It was a shame he wouldn't get to spend more time with her, but perhaps it was better this way.  She had slapped him when he had insulted her father before she knew who he was. If she had known then, he thought, she might have slapped him a second time. Perhaps now, at least, she might see him as something more heroic than the disappointment that he was.

It didn't take long for Carina to realize what he was doing, her face turning white with horror as his fingers began to slip.

"NO!" she screamed, latching onto his wrist. "I've spent all my life searching for you, and now I've finally found you! I'm not letting you go now!"

He had not planned for this. He had hoped to go out in figurative blaze of glory, hoped that in his death he might redeem himself in her eyes and make up for the years he had left her alone in the world. But she wouldn't let him have that satisfaction. She wouldn't let him go that easily. There was a fierce determination in her eyes, eyes that remind him of another woman he had once loved. And so for her sake, he held on--tighter than he has ever held onto anything in his life.

As the anchor rose from the water, he saw the crew of the Pearl coming to their aid.

"Hector!" Jack shouted down at him from the deck where the others have helped him aboard. There was genuine worry in his voice.

Strange, he mused, how far they have come. For as long as they had known each other, they had always alternated between being at each other's throats and being brothers in arms. He had once gone to the ends of the earth--to hell and back, as it were--for the Pearl...but also partially for Jack, he admitted. And seeing his current expression, he had no doubts that Jack would do the same for him because, at the end of the day, pirates though they were, they would always have each other's back.

He climbed aboard, soaked to the skin and looking far more like a wet rat than the fearsome captain that he was, Jack and Gibbs each grabbing an arm to steady him while Henry helped Carina. He recalled, for a moment, the highly unorthodox wedding ceremony he'd performed on the deck of this very ship all those years ago and smiled almost fondly at the boy, wondering if perhaps he'd be performing another in a couple of years. He had missed so much of his daughter's life... He hoped it wasn't too late to change that.

Apparently, it wasn't because the moment her feet hit the deck, she was embracing first Henry, then him.

"Father," she whispered.

And for the first time in many, many years, he felt the sting of tears behind his closed eyes.

But the moment was cut short as the last few feet of the chain holding the anchor rose from the depths of the sea, carrying with it a final passenger who hoisted himself over the railing and onto the deck--Captain Armando Salazar, in the flesh, at last. Long strands of dark hair, no longer floating freely as they had in his ghostly form, were plastered against his face, but his uniform--though stuck to his skin with the weight of the water it had absorbed--was as pristine-looking as ever. His face had a bit of color now--more olive than the ghastly chalky complexion they'd seen before, but it hardly diminished his intimidating presence, his eyes still hard and cold.

But intimidating or not, he was no longer immortal. And without a weapon in his hand or at his side--the sword he usually carried having been lost to the sea in the midst of all the chaos--he was, for all intents and purposes, defenseless. He was outnumbered, out gunned, and on a ship which was not his own. He was at their mercy.

Almost immediately, there were a half a dozen swords pointed at his throat and nearly twice as many pistols aimed at his chest, no longer permeable as mist but made of flesh and bone beneath which lay the beating heart of a man. His weakness became apparent at nearly the same moment that he felt the heat of the sun upon his cheek and the gentle sea breeze ruffle his hair for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. In the span of seconds, his face displayed a vast array of emotions almost too quickly for his mind to keep up--the proud, determined look of a hunter having cornered his prey replaced instantaneously with that of immeasurable joy, realization, fear, rage, and defeated resignation.

Surprisingly, Jack was the first to lower his weapon, but it wasn't so much a gesture of mercy as it was an insult. There was no need  for a weapon now. The Spaniard had climbed aboard the Pearl without any men of his own and was now its captain's prisoner. His only choice was between Jack's crew and the sharks...and the latter would be much less forgiving. Having experienced death himself before, Jack knew that no sane man who had escaped such a fate would ever take his own life, no matter how desperate. And even if he had considered it, Salazar's pride would not allow it.

"It would seem," Jack said, striding across the deck, "that El Matador del Mar has once again met his match. The butcher's bill has been paid in full. You and your crew have had your humanity restored--that counts for something, I should think. I took your life once. I've no desire to take it again, so what say we simply call it even and agree to disagree until I can drop you off on some nice, deserted island, savvy?"

"My crew," Salazar spat, "is at the bottom of the sea."

"Well, that's not my problem, now, is it? I'm not their captain who left them there to drown."

The Spaniard took a step toward him, forgetting for a moment that he no longer held the sword which often doubled as his cane. He stumbled, then, landing in a heap at Jack's feet, as his knees buckled at the searing pain that shot up his leg. He was spewing curses, swearing like the sailor that he was in a garbled mix of Spanish and English so viciously that an onlooker who did not speak a word of either language wouldn't have needed a translation.

"You...!!!" he seethed. "You took EVERYTHING from me!"

He was clawing at the deck, trying desperately to pull himself up, but his leg was too weak. His mortality had returned in full force, bringing with it the fresh pain of an old wound that he had not been able to feel for years. He dragged himself over to the mast that he might have something to brace himself against, crawling on his hands and knees.

"My pride, my ship, my crew, my family, my life, my very soul..." He propped himself up against the mast, too tired and too ashamed to struggle any further. "What more do you want from me?!"

Jack's gaze softened. "Nothing," he said quietly. "I never wanted anything from you but my freedom. I wanted you out of my way, I wanted you lost at sea...but I swear on my life I never intended for you to end up..." He gestured to his face, trailing his fingers in lines of imaginary squid ink dribbling down his chin, smacking his lips as though even the thought left a horrid taste in his mouth and shuddered. "Wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"You have no idea what sort of hell I have been through."

"Oh, I think I can imagine..."

It was not Jack but Barbossa who had spoken.

Perhaps it was only because Carina was watching and being a father made him want to be a better man, but for whatever reason, Barbossa felt compelled to take pity on the man. Jack had been to The Locker, it was true. And that in and of itself was enough to drive a man to madness... But he had not spent years cursed in an undead state like he and the original crew of the Pearl had. That was something entirely different and drew forth memories of a time which Barbossa did not recall with any fondness. He stepped forward, his own bejeweled peg leg dragging slightly as he walked--another area in which he could all too easily empathize with the man propping himself up against the mast.

"Ye're always starvin' but food turns tah ash in your mouth. Always dyin' of thirst, yet nothin' ever quenches it. Ye cannot feel--not the sun or the rain on yer face nor the softness of a woman's touch nor the fiery sting of cold steel slicin' yer skin. Yer heart no longer beats, yet somehow ye're still alive. Everything that once had meanin' is empty and hollow. Ye're a dead man walkin'."

Salazar bore a pained expression. For a moment, he could not find his voice. Then...

"How...?" he croaked.

"Yer not the only man what has been cursed in such a manner and lived to tell the tale. Or rather...come back from the dead to tell it."

At this, Carina gave a start. Realizing that the undead were real was one thing. Realizing that her long-lost father (who also happened to be a pirate captain) had once been among them was quite another. But that, she supposed, was a story for another day. She had so many questions already. Life with her father, it seemed, would be much more complicated than she had anticipated. Yet she could not deny a slight thrill at the thought of more adventures at his side.

"'Twas our greed and our pride that did us in," Barbossa continued. "Aztec gold, cursed by the pagan gods... We were warned of the consequences, but we heeded them not. 'Twas yer own pride that did ye in as well, I suspect. Nothin' would do but tah take yer revenge on every last pirate sailin' in the Spanish Main for the deaths of yer father and his father before him. I can't rightly say that I blame ye for that... Ye say that we're not worthy of bein' called men at all, that we are loathsome creatures lower than the bilge rats and the barnacles on the hull of a ship. That may be so. I am hardly an honest man."

He glanced briefly at Carina, looking somewhat ashamed, then returned his attention to Salazar.

"Yet ye do it in the name of honor and justice. But if it's vengeance yer seekin', then ye ought to at least have the decency tah call it what it is like the rest of us... There's as much blood on yer hands as there is on ours. Perhaps more. If ye be satisfied knowin' that, then by all means, continue yer reign as El Matador del Mar--that is, assumin' ye make it off this ship alive. But if ye want tah keep tellin' yerself yer better than us humble pirates, now's the time tah prove it. Not all men make it to hell and back alive, and one thing I can tell ye, when yer given a second chance at life, ye ought not tah waste it."

He looked back at Carina.

"Take it from someone who's wasted too many second chances already."

The Spaniard laughed bitterly. "You think that by sparing me you may spare yourselves of my wrath when I am free? My life was devoted to hunting down men like you--murderous thieves who take what they can and give nothing back. Without that, what am I?" He glared at Jack. "Give me a weapon, and I will fight you to the death. Or kill me now, like a man. But stop this foolish pretense! We both know what you are, Jack Sparrow!"

"Firstly," Jack replied, "there should be a 'captain' in there somewhere. Secondly, despite what you may think, I am neither stupid enough to give you a weapon nor cruel enough to kill an unarmed man. So it seems we are at an impasse."

He began pacing the deck.

"You know, I once knew a man who thought like you."

He paused to glance at Henry.

"His father was a pirate...AND a good man. Took him awhile to accept that."

His gaze returned to Salazar.

"Truth is, the world's not all black and white, mate, and thank goodness for that because it would be a dreadfully dull place if it was. For example..." He spread his arms wide, taking a mock bow. "I am a pirate. I admit to that. But I am not a cold-blooded killer. You, on the other hand..." He pointed at Salazar with the tip of his sword. "Well, let's just say they don't call you 'The Butcher' for nothing. Now tell me, mate, which one of us is the better man?"

For a moment, Salazar was silent. Then, he looked to Henry.

"You, boy...your father is the captain of the Dutchman?"

"Yes, sir."

Salazar nodded soberly. "A good man."

"And a former pirate, I might add," Jack interjected.

But a deadly glare from the Spanish captain quickly silenced him.

"Right," he apologized. "Sorry. Continue."

"He tried to come for us, once. To ferry us to the next world...to set us free from this curse, that we might be at peace." He laughed darkly. "But there are some places too cursed for even the Dutchman to go."

Henry nodded soberly. "I'm sorry. He would have done more if he could have, I'm sure."

Salazar returned the gesture. Though he could not fully explain why, he had a great deal of respect for the boy. He had seen the terror in the boy's eyes when his crew attacked the British naval ship, yet despite his fear, he did not run but looked death in the face. He was confident, yet not cocky like Jack; quiet, yet he did not hesitate to speak his mind when necessary. And there was another quality the boy had which he did not expect of one with such close ties to pirates--honor. Possessing the boy had given him a glance into the heart and soul of the young man before him, their consciousness merging until one man's thoughts and emotions were barely distinguishable from the other. He had seen Jack, then, through the boy's eyes...and he had seen the monster he had become--internally as well as externally, his humanity all but gone. It had been deeply disturbing. Recalling the boy's thoughts now, he remembered something which he hadn't taken notice of before, a troubled frown forming on his lips. His eyes shifted tentatively to Jack, and for a moment, he merely held his gaze, causing the pirate to squirm uncomfortably.

"While I was controlling the boy's mind," he began, "I saw something...not a memory--at least, not a memory of his... More like a dream...like visions of a legend...a story he had been told as a child.... His father was still a mortal then.... He was dying. You had the heart of Davy Jones in your hand, ready to become the next captain of that otherworldly ship that you yourself might gain immortality.... But you chose to save him instead.... Is this true?"

"Well, now, 'saved' is a rather strong word, given that becoming the captain of said ship comes with its own curses which is how we ended up in this bloody mess to begin with, searching for the trident...."

Salazar scowled impatiently.

"But technically speaking, yes."

"I see..." The Spaniard looked to Henry. "You trust this man? This...this pirate?"

Henry slowly lifted his eyes to Jack, then smiled. "With my life, sir."

Salazar grunted.

"Captain..."

"Yes?" Barbossa, Jack, and Salazar answered simultaneously.

Realizing the need for clarification, Henry started again. "Er...that is...Captain Salazar... If I may ask... While I was subject to your power, I endured a nightmare like nothing I had ever experienced before. I felt...so cold, so isolated... It was as if I were drowning in a darkness and despair so deep that it smothered everything else--all thoughts and emotions consumed by what must have been the last thing that you felt in life...a burning, blinding rage. It was suffocating, as though I was so far removed from humanity that I had forgotten everything and everyone else in the world... My entire identity was gone, my own memories were unreachable--a distant, foggy dream. And yet...one name remained on the tip of my tongue, a name I do not know...."

"Maria," Salazar whispered reverently.

"The Silent Mary.... It isn't just the name of a ship, is it?" Henry asked. "Who was she?"

There was a wistful gleam in his eyes. It was the most vulnerable, the most human, he had looked since regaining his mortality.

"The most beautiful woman in all of Spain...my wife." He smiled sadly. "She was with child when I left. She didn't want me to go. Of course, I told her not to worry, and I promised her that that mission would be my last.... But then...I never came home." He looked at Jack. "That is why I was so angry." He sighed. "I do not know what became of them. She has probably long forgotten about me. If she is even still alive...I doubt she or the child would want to see me now. They would not believe my story...and if they did, they would be repulsed by what I became. I have nothing now. Nothing. No crew at sea, no one waiting at home...." He eyed Jack's sword almost pleadingly. "What is left but to fight one last fight and at least die with a little honor? Perhaps this time, I will have peace."

"You do your family a great disservice, sir." This time, it was Carina who spoke. "If she loved you as much as you love her, then I am certain she never gave up hope. Nor did her child."

"Oh? How do you know that?"

She was addressing Salazar, but her eyes were on Barbossa, bright with unshed tears.

"The same way that I knew someday, somehow, I would find my father.... And if you truly care about them, who you are...or who you were...none of that will matter when they finally see you."

"Ah, but you forget... I have neither ship nor crew--"

"We'll help you find them," Henry blurted.

"We will?" asked Jack.

"Aye," Barbossa slapped Jack on the back. "We will."

"Wait a moment! Wait a moment!" Jack waved his hands. He gestured to Barbossa. "You're a pirate." He pointed to Salazar. "He's a pirate hunter. You want to help him, yet he wants to kill us. DID I BLOODY MISS SOMETHING?!?"

"Well, seein' as we are aboard MY ship, I don't see why it should concern ye, Jack," Barbossa grinned.

"I believe you mean MY ship," Jack corrected him. "You may have your Queen Anne's Revenge, but the Pearl is mine. I saved her from Blackbeard's stash of shrunken ships and protected her with me life."

"Aye, but I'm the one who freed her for ye. Mister Gibbs," he addressed the first mate.

"Aye, sir?"

"Set a course fer Spain. We've a long journey ahead of us, so we'd best be gettin' started."

Gibbs, who had long grown used to the two captains bickering over the ownership of the Pearl, nodded, assuming they would eventually come to some sort of agreement, as they always did.

"Aye-aye, sir."

"Oh, and Gibbs?" Barbossa stopped him. "Don't fly the colors."

"Do I get any say in this at all?" Jack protested.

Barbossa, Carina, and Henry answered in unison. "No!"

Jack sighed. "Alright... Well, then..." He offered Salazar his hand. "I suppose we have a truce?"

Salazar hesitated, then grudgingly accepted the offer, bracing himself against the mast as he pulled himself up to his full height.

"Truce." Salazar leaned in so his mouth was just above Jack's ear. "But know this, Sparrow... If I happen to end up on the seas again, if you ever attack a Spanish ship...."

"I know, I know.... You'll hunt me down and destroy me." He grinned. "Wouldn't expect anything less from you, Captain."

He turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Sparrow...."

Jack looked back at the man who had spent a lifetime of hating men like him and saw the faintest gleam of something that almost resembled respect.

"Gracias."

Jack nodded. As he walked away, he breathed a sigh of relief, striding up beside Barbossa. "Hector, you owe me one for this," he grumbled.

Barbossa, who had uncorked a bottle of rum, took a large swig and offered a sip to Jack, who graciously accepted.

"Go easy on it, Jack. We've naught but a few barrels left, and as we be sailin' away from the Caribbean, it may be awhile before we get the chance to restock."

Jack sighed again and shook his head, looking sadly at the bottle. "Why is the bloody rum always gone?"

[goodailynews]

A close call! Miranda Bailey ( Chandra Wilson) got fired during the Thursday, October 5, episode of Grey's Anatomy - until her boss croaked! Oh, and Jo Wilson ( Camilla Luddington) invited Alex Karev ( Justin Chambers) to come back home and Amelia Shepherd ( Caterina Scorsone) breaks the news to Owen Hunt ( Kevin McKidd) about her brain tumor. .................................................................................................. [HOT] Total Bellas Recap: Nikki Bella Fears John Cena May Never Propose and Brie Bella Has Her Fina: ♫ https://youtu.be/mrWYbpCWcMc [HOT] Engaged stars actually related : ♫ https://youtu.be/Jcrzssyy0Sc [HOT] 'Will & Grace' Stars: 'Our Dynamic and Chemistry' Never Left : ♫ https://youtu.be/xGO25YPm8qY [HOT] Why Fixer Upper's Chip and Joanna Gaines Are Choosing Family Over Fame : ♫ https://youtu.be/lucxjsg9zzw [HOT] Hugh Hefner's Daughter and Sons Dine Together a Night After His Death : ♫ https://youtu.be/wo6ywD9KoSs .................................................................................................. SUBSCRIBE: https://goo.gl/Gd5aaC FACEBOOK: https://goo.gl/ybp8jQ TWITTER: https://goo.gl/o24hEF ✖ Follow GOO Daily News channel(SUBSCRIBE) to look for that. GOO Daily News - New videos evreyday! MONDAY - SUNDAY. Thanks for watching! Background music video is allowed by FreeBackgroundMusic. Please visit their channel to view more: FreeBackgroundMusic: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzdbJ_mnXo5tf-4hVNgJ5Wg Thank you! .................................................................................................. ...[continued]... Bailey went to defend herself, but found Harper dead on the table. She kept it hush-hush, except to her husband. Arizona's Girlfriend Has Some Surgical Advice Arizona Robbins ( Jessica Capshaw) and Carina Deluca ( Stefania Spampinato) have been hooking up. Robbins was having a problem with a baby delivery, and Carina suggested having an orgasm to help speed the process up. Arizona didn't like the idea and went completely red. 'We're just going to figure something else out,' she said. 'It's not how I do things.' Carina replied: 'Well, she thought differently last night.' ABC/Richard Cartwright Shepherd Breaks the News to Hunt Shepherd was trying to pretend like her tumor was not a big deal. However, those around her tried to tell her that she needs to take it more seriously and she finally told Maggie Pierce ( Kelly McCreary) the truth. Shepherd told Pierce she would tell Hunt if she told Meredith Grey ( Ellen Pompeo). Fictional TV Hometowns 'She's been telling me I'm crazy for years and this kind of makes her right and I hate that,' Shepherd said about why she couldn't tell Meredith. When Shepherd paged Hunt to tell him to meet, he entered the room with a rage. He was mad she was ignoring him for days and avoiding him, until he looked at the screen and realized it was her brain. His mood totally shifted, and he helped her transition from doctor to patient. Meredith Gives Riggs Dating Advice Meredith was in a mood all episode, mostly because Nathan Riggs ( Martin Henderson) blew his chance with Megan Hunt (Bridget Regan) because he was in love with Meredith. 'My feelings for Riggs are way past anger. It's more like rage bordering personal violence,' Meredith said. She finally confronted him at the tail-end of the episode to say she was a bit jealous he got the chance she never h

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Break Down The House/Get Off On The Pain (14x01/02)

Grey's Anatomy is a soap opera. I mean that's not a surprise to anybody, but every once in a while you see episodes that reminds you - Grey's Anatomy is a soap opera. I don't even mean that in a bad way, actually. This episode had a lot of great moments, and the extreme drama of them is what made them great. It also had just one or two moments that had me on the verge of an eye-roll... let's take a look.

Cons:

To anyone who's been reading my reviews, it'll be no surprise to you that I'm annoyed about Amelia. Owen has his sister back, and Amelia has been avoiding him and acting horribly. Then Owen tries to talk to her about it, since he knows something is really wrong, and she lashes out again. All last season I kept saying that Amelia needed to get over herself, and now we learn, thanks to her participation in a sex study (I'll get to that later) that her erratic behavior is actually because she has a giant brain tumor. Okay... did we not already do this with Izzy? This was the big shocking cliffhanger at the end of the two part episode, and it felt like the most cliche, overwrought thing that could have been done at this point. Amelia has been pissing me off for... well, forever now, and it seems like sort of a cop-out to blame all of her shitty behavior on a medical drama cliche like a brain tumor. A brain surgeon has a brain tumor?! Gasp. How surprising.

Maggie was also getting on my nerves a lot last season, and while she did have some good elements in this episode that I'll get to later, she still had one of her quintessential annoying moments. Nathan and Owen have decided not to tell Megan about Nathan and Meredith's relationship. Teddy thinks this is ridiculous, and Maggie agrees. She says that she was in Megan's position once, in that she found out about Nathan and Meredith and it was weird. Okay. The utter hubris of comparing what happened with her to what's going on with Megan is... ugh. Maggie. Please. I still can't believe how much she built up that whole thing. She had an unrequited crush on a guy. Nothing even happened, and he started dating someone else. How can you even compare the situations? She also spends her time being awkward around Jackson, and he spends his time being awkward right back. I'm convinced that this is perhaps the least interesting potential romantic relationship this show has ever done, right after DeLuca's unrequited thing for Jo. Please stop.

So, Eliza Minnick is gone. She ghosted Arizona and disappeared into the night after being fired. I mean, no particular skin off my back, since she was really annoying. But it's also annoying to see such a clear signal from the show that her presence was an utter waste of time. It takes absolutely nothing for Arizona to bounce back from this, and it takes no time for me as a viewer either. Eliza was such a poorly written character. Oh, and speaking of bouncing back - I'm really happy that Arizona found somebody to hook up with, and I'm actually rather pleased with the new character. But have you noticed that all the lesbians and bisexual women on this show are gorgeous, long-haired femme girls? Callie, Arizona, Eliza, and now Carina? Even Penny didn't have any sort of a butch vibe going on. I'm not trying to say that we need our lesbian characters to look like a cliche, but if they could not all be super hot ultra-feminine, that would be nice. Maybe this is a thing nobody cares about but me, but I apparently care a little bit about it.

Pros:

I'm gonna go through a few subplot elements before we talk about Megan Hunt.

April. Okay, so while I don't think Maggie and Jackson are interesting, I still kind of do think April and Jackson are interesting. They're a couple that I actually root for. I think they belong together. I like that April identified her pain and was honest to Jackson about it. As much as I want these two to work it out, for April's sake I hope she finds a way to be happy, with or without Jackson.

Arizona brings a woman home to her house and they're hooking up on the couch when DeLuca comes in. He sees this woman, and the two of them immediately start bickering in furious Italian. Turns out, this woman is Carina, DeLuca's older sister. She's actually a doctor too, and she goes in to meet with Bailey. Bailey has been having her own sort of internal feminist uprising as she laments the necessity of wearing uncomfortable heels to work, so when Carina suggests a sex study where women masturbate inside the MRI machine to study the effects of orgasms on the brain, Bailey decides to go for it.

This plot thread, setting aside the ending where Amelia has a stupid tumor, was pretty funny and great. Carina seems like a better match for Arizona than Eliza was. She's funny and sexy and the scene where she and DeLuca are yelling at each other while Arizona is shirtless on the couch was pretty hysterical. I also loved how everybody had this girlish interest in her sex study. Female sexuality is a very repressed topic, and it was fun to see it explored seriously. And Bailey getting rid of all her high heels was pretty fantastic. Ben is such a good husband - he points out to Bailey that her sexiest (and most uncomfortable) pair of heels will only hurt her if she tries to stand in them, leading to some fun sexy times.

Richard had the tiniest of little subplots with Maggie that I thought was quite fun. He's impressed with Meredith's bad-ass surgery skills, and tell Maggie that Meredith is just like Ellis. Maggie gets  a little competitive and asks if Richard ever compliments her, Maggie, when talking to Meredith. Richard says that while Meredith reminds him of Ellis, he likes to take credit for Maggie's success personally. This was a great moment to remind me that I didn't always dislike Maggie so much. If she could just stay away from the romance plots I think I'd be a lot more cool with her.

Jo and Alex. Another unsurprising fact for my readers is that I'm not super duper happy with Jo and Alex's romance as of late. But in this episode... I don't know. Maybe it was just that I know they're both in so much pain, and as annoying as Jo can be, I really do want Alex to be happy. Also, Alex told the truth to Jo, and the two of them seem like they could really make a good start out of this. Obviously the looming threat of Jo's husband is still out there, but for now I think they might be on solid footing. And kudos to Ben for playing the "new Stephanie" by supporting Jo through all of this craziness. Bailey correctly points out to him that he doesn't get to have an opinion about how Jo, a woman, feels in regards to Alex's violent attack of DeLuca. Ben agrees, but he still manages to help out by going to Alex and telling him the real problem - Jo is afraid of him. With that hurdle jumped, these two can finally move forward with their lives. I think I might like them better together and happy than I did when they were mutually angsting and pining.

Okay. Now for the main event. Megan is great. Admittedly, she's a little too well-adjusted to be somebody who's been held hostage for ten years, but when you hear her story it does make a little bit of sense. She was treated poorly at first, but eventually she was utilized as a doctor, and actually made friends and adopted a Syrian refugee as her son. She wasn't permitted to leave, but she was treated well. Her motivations are entirely about getting back to her adopted son. She has a serious abdominal injury, but wants to go with the quicker, more risky option in order to get back to her child sooner, instead of the safer, more painful option that will take much longer.

Everything about this setup kind of breaks my heart. Megan is really cool, and funny, and doesn't put up with nonsense from Owen or Nathan whatsoever. Meredith is the one who breaks the news to her about her past with Nathan, and Megan takes it in stride. She and Meredith seem to really like each other, and although Meredith's first surgery doesn't go as planned, the second one is a huge and innovative success that will get Megan back to her son in way less time.

Nathan breaks my heart. He's so devastatingly relieved to see Megan again, but obviously his feelings for Meredith can't just poof away. And Meredith is being so cool about the whole thing, stepping in as Megan's surgeon and doing an amazing job. April gives Nathan the advice that he needs to be all in with Megan, and let her know that he's there for her completely. He decides to propose, and we get another very soap opera-y moment when Meredith walks in to tell Megan it's time for her surgery, interrupting the proposal. Turns out, Megan says no, because she thinks Nathan is still in love with Meredith.

This is a love triangle, of sorts, but I love the fact that there's no animosity between the two women. Nathan has pined for Megan and missed her for ten years, but the fact remains that they've both moved on with their lives in big ways. Megan, as difficult as her time has been, has found a new family in her son. And Nathan has clawed his way back to a brotherly bond with Owen, and has found new love with Meredith. They can't just erase that and move back to where they were. And yet... the love is still real.

Oh yeah, and let's talk about Teddy. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until she was there! It was cool to see the scenes of her, Owen, Nathan, and Megan. These four all have a special bond that nobody else at the hospital could understand. I've always liked Teddy, and even though Owen was absolutely wrong to kiss her, I can see how it would be appealing for both of them to give this thing a shot. Of course, it just made me like Teddy even more that she said no. I don't know if she'll be around after this, but I'd love to see her integrate back into the story, even if just temporarily. It was so cute when Arizona saw her and immediately gave her a summary of everything that had happened - Callie left her and took Sofia and she found love again and then Eliza got fired - that's a lot of stuff to blurt out to somebody you haven't seen in years!

I'll end by saying that even though this episode had a lot of dark elements to it, it was undeniably a lighter episode than we've seen in a while. Megan is back and she's going to be okay, and all of the major surgeries in the episode were a success. Jo succeeded despite a med student dropping his glasses into the surgical field, Amelia succeeded with a delicate jaw surgery even against Jackson's disapproval and doubt, and Meredith found a way to help Megan get better quicker so she can return to her son. I'm always glad when we can get a bit of hope from this show, even if it is mixed in with a lot of interpersonal drama.

Well, there you have it. I'm back to writing reviews for this monstrosity of a show. I always forget how long these things take me... it's gonna be an adjustment getting back into it!

8/10

[lovl3igh]

canon bi teddy is so confusing

because you wanna tell me that not only she could have chosen any other man there over hunt but also any of those beautiful women and yet she chose the worst man possible as her husband? nah