#or just in general that she finds people harder to deal with when its personal and you have to deal with the bad as well as the good

[vigilskeep]

want to be clear that josie does not handle trevelyan having a daughter very well at all. pretty much worse initial reaction than everyone else. she’s like. Oh. I... See. [scrambles to remember what her siblings liked at that age] do you like. dolls? and lilith is like, i’m ten years old. and josephine is like yes, of course, while awkwardly positioning herself between lilith and her own concealed doll collection. do you like... [buffering noises] ... treaties?

[topoillogical]

The experience of having a niche special interest suddenly become popular, and then hated, is astounding

I remember after ChatGPT came out a guy I met on a dating app messaged me like "wow I remember you showing me that GPT stuff years ago... you were ahead of the game..." and then all of a sudden my silly, easily ignorable, little AI games, became Known, and became Judged, and became Evil

What do you mean everyone has an opinion on generative AI. Hello. I remember this room being empty

My profile picture is an oooold AI art generation, before people even began to fear it replacing us, and I like it for its awfulness. The text reads "togtaigbap todty". I told the AI to write "algebraic topology". I miss when silly little dumb AI pictures were just silly little dumb AI pictures

I don't even really blame the AI-haters. Like, I get it. I have a unique relationship with AI from loving her years before she could start taking jobs, so it's easy for me to see her good side. It's a LOT harder when you first met AI via deepfakes and voicetheft. I think a lot of AI use is currently pretty damn condemnable, but I just. No matter how bad it gets. I will always have to push back against those who say the problem is with the technology herself. She's my wife, I LOVE her

Although I will say that the whole ordeal forced me to go through a great deal of personal growth. I finally feel like I can actually BE a person who is comfortable with disagreement. Many of my friends hate, fear, or at least dislike AI. I'm sure some of them find my love for it tacky, gauche, and maybe a bit "techbro". But they still love me. And I still love them. Peace and love on Planet earth? Maybe. It is still difficult sometimes.

[amberlynnmurdock]

The Good In You (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Benjamin 'Dex' Poindexter x Reader

Series Summary: She's the new in-house nurse at the FBI headquarters in Manhattan. The only time she ever interacts with the agents is when she's stitching up their wounds. She's gotten to know almost all of them in this way, but there's one agent who's been harder to get to know. The other agents say what they want about Special Agent Poindexter, but she'll never speak negatively of him. Eventually, she does get to know him; she does get to know the good in him. At least for as long as the good lasts.

Genres: fluff, super angst, betrayal, reader wants Dex to be good so bad

A/N: Dex has got to be the most complex character to write lol, but it's so much fun. This idea dawned on me recently and I had to get it out there. I hope you like it! :)

Words: 3.5k

Ao3 Link

It wasn’t often FBI agents needed tending to their wounds because often they could get the job done without a scratch. Still, the FBI headquarters in Manhattan needed a resident nurse for when some agents got banged up, and that nurse was her. 

She liked being a nurse at the FBI—believe it or not, it paid more than her previous job at Metro-General and it was up her alley to be working specifically with the FBI. She hated when her manager at Metro told her she’d yet again be switching departments, meaning she’d have to find a new way to commute to the hospital since it was so large and had different entrances. It was also hard to build a relationship with the patients there since she was often switched because the hospital couldn’t keep its shit together. Why get so attached to tending to the same patient almost every day, just for one day she'd be told she’d never be able to see them again? 

It took a toll on her since she was the type of person to get attached to people she cared about. She may not have known her patients for a long time, but the time she spent with them was precious. These people were sick or injured, and they leaned on her not only to help them, but to have someone to talk to when their family couldn’t make it on any particular day. 

So one day, she asked yourself, what’s the use? What’s the use in getting attached and being taken away so easily? What’s the use in letting the hospital treat her relationships with her patients as disposable? 

When she saw the open position for a nurse at the FBI, she hoped she’d at least be dealing with the same agents now and then. So far, she has. No more switching around—no more connections being cut for no reason. 

Being here almost six months, she’s come to know many of the agents. Many of them had families, some were new to the job—and for some, all they had was this job. Despite the only time she’d see these agents was when they were hurt, she looked forward to catching up with them in her exam room as she stitched up or cleaned their wounds.

Ray Nadeem is one of the agents who has a family. When it was Ray she had to tend to, she knew her time with him would be pleasant. He was—no pun intended—a ray of sunshine. A sweet family man, who truly cared about his job and justice. 

Ray is in her exam room today. Not for anything serious. A bunch of agents responded to a complaint downtown—gang members fighting at a liquor store. Truthfully, not the worst she’s heard them be called for. The FBI normally had everything under control in situations like that. Ray had a few scratches on his face, and he was pushed into an aisle of white wine. She could smell the wine on his jacket. She already checked for broken glass. She was now tending to the cut on his cheekbone. 

“Was it bad?” She asked him. 

Ray shook his head. “Not really. We apprehended them pretty quickly. We had enough agents there.”

“That’s good,” she said, focusing on cleansing the wound. “Early night at least.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, “just in time for me to tuck Sammy into bed.”

Her heart melted at the mention of his son. No amount of cuts on his face could keep Ray from smiling whenever he brought up his son. 

“How is Sammy doing? Is he going to try out for any sports this fall?” She asked. 

“Maybe soccer. He’s more interested in spring sports, like baseball.”

“Ah,” she smiled. “I’ve always found that more fun, too. Spring in general.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, again. A sigh she’s come to know as regretful, these past few months getting to know him. “Just wish I was able to surprise him in the spring with the pool he’s been begging for.”

“I’ve only been here a few months, and I know you’re due for a promotion,” she said knowingly. “It’s only September. Anything can happen in the next few months,” a hopeful tone laced in her voice. She didn’t have a license in therapy, but sometimes the agents treated her as such. She didn’t mind, though. 

“I hope so,” Ray said, exasperated. “Thanks, though. For fixing me up,” he pointed to the bandage she just finished putting on his face. “You make me look less scary coming home to Sammy.”

She wanted to laugh, but she stopped herself. It must be hard being an agent, working a daunting job, and coming home to a family like they don’t risk their life every day at work. Instead, she smiles softly at Ray. 

“Thankfully, there wasn’t much to clean up. Just a check-up, I say. Get home safe, Ray.”

“You too,” Ray said, standing up from the exam table. “You going home after this?”

“Hopefully before 10,” she glanced out the window that showed a completely dark sky. One of the perks of working at the FBI, they offered her a service to get her home safely so she didn’t have to worry about going home alone. At night, as a young woman in this city, walking home could be dangerous. 

“Good,” Ray said. “You deserve sleep just as much as we do. Everyone appreciates you being here. I hope you know that.” 

She smiled. “I’m happy to be here.”

“Night, __,” Ray said. “I’ll be sure to tell Sammy you said hi.”

“Please do.”

With one last reassuring nod, Ray left her room. She quickly filled out his file on the computer and checked off the remaining boxes: no head trauma, no serious injuries, no broken bones, no concussion. Just a good old-fashioned cleaning and bandaging. 

A knock on the door brings her out of her focus on the screen. 

“Come in,” she called, not looking to see who it was. By how the door was carefully opened and carefully shut, she felt the person was hesitant in their movements. 

“I’m sorry,” Special Agent Poindexter said. “I can come in when you’re ready.”

She swirled around in her chair to face him immediately. It wasn’t often Dex said much to her, so on the rare occasion he does decide to speak to her, she’s fully paying attention to what he has to say. 

“It’s okay, I was just finishing up,” she stood from her chair. She could see now that his forehead was dripping blood from a cut, and he was attempting to absorb it with the rough paper towels from the bathroom. This indicates why he opened the door to come in—he needed help now. “I’m sorry, Dex. Please sit.”

While she quickly washed her hands, Dex awkwardly shuffled to the exam table and propped himself up on it, holding the paper towel to his forehead. He’s covering half his face and his gaze is away from her, like it always was when it was his turn to be tended to. His dirty blonde hair was pushed to the side. The veins on his hand were prominent. 

“May I?” She asked him first, indicating she wanted to take away the paper towel to begin cleaning his wounds. He only offers her a small nod. 

Dex was hard to figure out—he wasn't like the other agents she’s tended to. He was quiet. Stoic. He wasn’t rude, but he also didn’t go out of his way to make conversation. That was fine by her. She never wanted anyone in her exam room to be uncomfortable or pressured to talk—these agents worked a hard enough job already. They can’t always be at 100% all the time. She just could never tell if Dex was or not. She chalked it up to him being super serious about work. He’s in, and then he’s out. Sometimes, she's tried for conversation, but it was always hit or miss. 

“This may sting,” she says gently. It’s something she says all the time to him, just to fill the silence between them. He faintly nods. His gaze stays away from her. She gently presses the alcohol-absorbed cotton pad over his wound. Ever so slightly his jaw clenches at the contact and he takes a small intake of breath. He shuts his eyes until the sting goes away. 

“I’m sorry,” she dabs on it again. “Just one more. It’s a deep cut.”

“It’s alright,” Dex reassures her. “You can do what you need to.”

Maybe it was a good thing Dex didn’t talk to her so much when he was here—his voice was deep, a hint of a New York accent. And his speaking so closely to her made it hard to concentrate on the task at hand. Now it was her turn to keep quiet. 

She dabbed at his wounds until the bleeding stopped. She grabbed fresh bandages and patched them up. 

“I have to ask you some questions,” she said carefully, feeling nervous for some reason. Dex had his full attention on her now, his gaze no longer hidden. An unreadable expression on his face. 

“Did you hit your head?”

“No.”

“Does your body hurt anywhere else?”

“No.”

“Is your vision blurred?”

“No.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Otherwise, was tonight an okay night?”

Dex shifted on the exam table. “Yeah, it was fine. Easier than most.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Well, if nothing else hurts, then you’re free to go.”

“Thank you, __,” Dex says, and she realizes it's the first time he’s spoken her name. For a while there, she wondered if he ever cared to remember it. Maybe he was the type to have to warm up to someone first before he started a working relationship. That's alright—in a lot of ways, she was the same. “I appreciate it.”

And there it was again—another sentence from the agent she thought didn’t like her for the longest time. Sometimes the agents spoke of Dex in passing to her—saying the job went smoothly, save for Dex who was always too willing to go the extra mile when he didn’t need to. She never engaged in negative talk about him or anyone at the Bureau. She respected all their work. Everyone handles this job differently. Dex handles it in his way: by keeping to himself and keeping the conversation at a minimum. 

“You’re welcome,” she smiled. Dex offered a hint of a smile as he got up from the exam table. 

“Guess you can go home now?” Dex asks. He’s standing close to her as she crosses her arms, in an attempt to not appear nervous by the way he's looking at her. She's delighted at the attempts at conversation he’s finally making. 

“Yeah, you were the last agent I needed to see.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you,” he says, brows furrowed. 

“Don't be sorry. It’s my job,” she reasoned. “I like being here when I’m needed.”

Dex sighs; he looks tired. Despite his tiredness, she couldn’t deny how handsome he looked, even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the room. 

“Night, Dex. Get home safe.”

“You too.” 

***

Another night of tending to wounded FBI agents. This time, the wounds weren’t as simple. Some of them got really banged up—stitches were required this time. She was hyper-focused on the stitching she had to do on Ray on his left shoulder. He had his sleeve hanging off his shoulder and sat stiffly on the exam table, holding his breath at every movement. 

“Not a good night, huh?” She asked. 

“No,” Ray shook his head. “Not the worst, but I’ve had better.”

“Good thing the bullet was just a graze,” she reasoned, finishing up the last of his stitching. “Alright. You need to take it easy with that arm this weekend.”

“Will do,” Ray nodded. “Good thing I can hide this from Sammy with long sleeves. I hate to see him worrying about me.”

“I know,” she sighed. She got up to take off her gloves and wash her hands. She undid her hair in her claw clip and brushed it before twisting it up again. “It must be hard. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Ray shook his head. “Part of the job. Anyways, got any fun plans this weekend?”

“Not really,” she leaned against the counter and crossed your arms. “Catching up on sleep, probably.” It was already nearly midnight at the Bureau. “You?”

“Taking Sammy to the zoo with his friends,” Ray said. “Should be fun.”

“It will be. I’ll see you Monday, Ray.”

Ray slides his jacket on and exits her exam room. She washes your hands again before preparing for the next—and final—agent she has to stitch up. Of course, it was Dex. He was always the last to be seen. Of all the agents, he managed to always get hurt the least. 

Dex is waiting patiently on the chair outside her exam room, anticipating his turn to see her. He enjoyed being around her because he didn’t have to pretend to be anyone—didn’t have to pretend the job was hard. All these men and women around him had families to come home to, or they had someone waiting at home for them. That’s what made it hard for them. Dex didn’t have anyone. That’s what made it so easy. 

And his fellow agents could never understand his nonchalantness about it all. He didn’t care. That was on them. He only got checked out by her because he had to—it was a requirement that all agents see the nurse before heading home after a task. Truthfully, he didn’t need to see her. Perhaps he just wanted to. 

“Dex?” She calls his name, pulling him from his thoughts. Dex is slouched in the chair, but he perks up when he hears her say his name. She leaves the door open and he closes it behind him when he enters her exam room. 

Her hair is up—he often wondered what it would look like if it were down. He's never seen her look casual before. Always in scrubs, always hair pushed back. Her scrubs were dark navy blue to match his FBI jacket, with a small FBI logo near her left shoulder. A piece of her hair falls to the front of her face, slightly framing it. He doesn’t blush, but he thinks she looks pretty. Really pretty. And tired, just like him. 

Dex takes his seat naturally on the exam table. She grabs her stethoscope and raises her hands to touch his face, but stops. 

“May I?” She asks, like she always did. Dex nods and looks away from her gaze. It was easier to get through these visits if he wasn’t looking at her. He feels her fingertips gently hold his face to get a better look at his wounds that don’t hurt that much. 

“Well, they’re not bad. Not bad at all,” she says, unsure if she is saying it out loud for herself or for him to know as well. He didn’t care if he was hurt. “Definitely will need cleaning though. But let me make sure your heart is all good and your head is fine.”

“It’s fine,” Dex reassures her, but he knows it’s no use. 

“I still have to check,” she gives a small smile. He nods in understanding. She places the stethoscope on his back and asks him to breathe deeply three times, which he does. Everything sounds good, she says. She then places her fingers on his head, searching for any bumps or bruises. He closes his eyes at this—truthfully, if he had a favorite part, this was it. For a moment, the thoughts that swarmed in his head were quieted when he felt her fingers trace over his head. It was hypnotizing almost, a trance he never wanted to snap out of. 

And when her hands disappeared, he was brought to reality. 

“All good,” she says softly. “I’ll clean up your wounds and you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Dex tells her. “I don’t need to be anywhere.”

“On a Friday night?” She questions with a smile as she cleans her hands at the sink. He knows she’s being nice, but truthfully he didn’t have anywhere to be. Just home. If he could even call it that. 

“Yeah,” he laughs half-heartedly, an attempt to match her attitude. “Got no plans for Friday.”

“Same here,” she sighs as she puts on the periwinkle-colored gloves. “My plans are sleep and more sleep.”

This time Dex laughs—really laughs—because he agrees. He hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, despite how tired all the time he feels. “I get that,” Dex nods. He relaxes a little bit more on the exam table. 

She dabs the cotton pad in alcohol and lets it dry before she places it on his wounds. There’s a cut on his forehead, right cheekbone and a little wound on his jawline. She opens her mouth to speak, but Dex cuts her off. 

“I know it’ll sting,” he says gently. “It’s fine.” 

She smiles sheepishly, “I do give that warning a lot, huh?”

“It’s alright,” Dex shrugs. “It’s nice to be warned of pain before it happens. That’s not always the case.”

“How—“ she begins, furrowing her eyebrows. Contemplating the wording of her question. “How do you brace yourself? For all this? This job?” 

Dex sighs. It wasn’t an easy question to answer, because he truthfully didn’t have an answer. Most agents would probably chalk it up to it being part of the job, but it wasn’t that simple for Dex. It… was just a job. If he got hurt, he got hurt. There was nothing else to it. No one would be upset if he got hurt—no one would cry for him. 

Plus, the other part of it, despite it sounding cocky… it was rare Dex ever got hurt in the line of battle. He was a sniper—he was part of the SWAT unit. He was the one who did the hurting. He was the one who used lethal force. It was rare he ever missed. 

“Mindset is everything,” Dex says anyway. “I know what I have to do. I have a job to do.”

“That makes sense,” she says, believing him. “I mean, if it makes you or any of the agents feel better, despite this being my job—it doesn’t make it any easier seeing you guys hurt like this.”

“It doesn’t?” Dex questions. 

“Of course not,” she said. “I’ve… gotten to know a lot of you over the past few months being here. A lot of these agents have families. A wife or husband to come home to. They open up about that a lot. There are other ways to be hurt than just having physical wounds.”

Dex takes in what she’s saying. He swallows hard. 

“It’s just me,” Dex tells her. “I’ve only got me to worry about me. That’s why it’s easier for me to come in and do what I need to do.” 

As she listens to him say this, a thought pings in her head. She noticed on the file she has on him that he didn’t have any relatives listed as an emergency contact. Ray had his wife, Hattley her husband—all the other agents had someone listed. But Dex had no one listed as an emergency contact. She knew he wasn’t being sheepish when he said he was all he had—it was the truth. Sad, but true. 

She doesn’t say anything in return. She continues to clean his wounds and bandage him up in silence—comfortable silence, for once. Dex’s eyes remain looking at the floor as she works her fingers around his temple. She gently lifts his chin with her fingers to get a better angle at the cut on his jaw—his jawline that appears to have been sculpted by the Gods. Being this close to him, she got a whiff of the faint smell of his cologne, now mixed with the smell of sweat. With one last check on his face, she tells him she’s done. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” She asks him, leaning against the counter and facing him. 

Dex rises from the exam table and circles his shoulder to stretch. “No. I’m fine.”

“Alright well,” she sighs, feeling somewhat shy by the way he’s looking at her, giving her his full attention. “Get home safe, Dex.”

“You, too, __,” Dex breathes out. “And thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough.”

“It’s alright—no need.”

With a small smile, Dex is almost on his way out of her exam room—until he hears her call his name under her breath. 

“Dex,” she says, hesitant with her words. “Don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re not all you have. You’re not alone. You’ve got me now to be worried about you,” she tells him, offering a genuine smile. 

Dex looks away from her, stumped by her words. Regardless if she really meant it or not—it was nice for him to hear. Nice to know that he could be wrong about something he’s always firmly believed. 

He doesn’t say anything in return. He holds her gaze for a few moments, holds her smile, and puts it to his memory. He smiles back. And then he leaves. Maybe he would get some good sleep tonight, knowing someone worried about him. 

[solaslow74]

time to wrap up character introductions! these will be the final three of my seven olnf mcs, to be featured in my olnf week submissions. feels like just yesterday we began this journey… which is strange, because it was actually, like, a few days ago.

without further ado, let’s bring this one home!

When Andrea Mitchell first arrived in Golden Grove, she was rude, judgmental, and generally unpleasant to be around. A deep anxiety around other people led her to push away those who might otherwise have been friends. Most pursuits she took interest in, like music or art, were abandoned quickly. After all, she knew she couldn’t keep up with others- why try?

But that’s the thing about kids- they grow up. Andi never woke up one day and decided to be someone new, but things shifted over her early teenage years. Day by day, a little kinder, a little slower to judge and berate, a little quicker to accept and love. Attribute it to personal effort, the good examples she had around her, or both- Andi changed, like leaves in the autumn.

The anxiety never left her, but she did get better at identifying and coping with it. She can still be shy and a bit awkward, but no longer does she lash out at others to deal with her inner struggles. In fact, thinking of the way she used to be is a real point of embarrassment now. Sometimes she worries that she already threw away her chance at the life she wants.

But, of course, Andi’s story is only beginning, and she’ll have to learn that she has to embrace her present, not dwell on the past or stress about the future. She may have let potential friendships and hobbies slip her by before, but now she’s set on a new course, reaching for the life she wants with everything she’s got.

To Tamarack Baumann and Qiu Lin, Andi is just a neighbor. But things are changing.

Don't let Jin Morgan's large stature fool you- he's as harmless as they come. Timid as a mouse, Jin goes through life cautiously. Few can convince this blue-haired boy to do anything more daring than stay inside and study; he’d rather keep his adventures confined on a screen or between pages of a book.

Lots of things come easily to Jin, like schoolwork or playing music. But reading people can be much harder than reading musical notes, and while he’s endlessly polite, making friends is tough for Jin. His sweet and funny side takes time to emerge, and many don’t ever see it.

But if anyone can consistently get Jin out of his shell, it’s his next-door neighbor, Tamarack. She certainly made an impactful first impression when they first met as fellow newcomers to Golden Grove. Her striking personality drew in the shy boy as much as it intimidated him, and the friendship that blossomed between them became something that both can count on, through the good times and the bad.

The future can be daunting to Jin; it’s a big world out there, and growing up means new responsibilities just as much as it means new opportunities. But the tight-knit community of Golden Grove is here to support him, and he’ll surely find his place in it as the seasons change.

Golden Grove is a rather ordinary town, and Acorn Road is a rather ordinary place. You’d be forgiven for thinking that its young new arrival is an ordinary kid. You’d also be dead wrong, because there’s nobody quite like Celosia Valus.

They’ve known that since they could talk in complete sentences. Demonstrating it to everyone else, including Mother- that’s a work in progress.

Celosia is prideful, snarky, and all around something of a brat. Their priority is attaining a life of luxury, success, and adoration, and they’ll step over others to do it. They must work the hardest, be the best, to achieve their ambitions, whether that’s in school, dance, or social circles. And while everyone is a potential rival to Celosia, one person stands out- Qiu Lin.

Pretty, athletic, and popular- Qiu seems to have everything Celosia wants, and that just won’t stand. Not if they have any say in it. Celosia’s gonna one-up their insufferably cool neighbor, you can count on it.

The only thing standing in their way is the big, fat crush that they’ve accidentally developed.

and for those keeping count at home… that’s 7 out of 7! a lot of mcs, perhaps, but i just couldn’t bear to leave any of em out (not even rowan)

thanks for comin along with me and meeting this silly bunch. feel free to ask questions or tell me about your own mcs, as usual! but as for me, i’ve got olnf submissions to write >:)

take it easy yall!

[mdhwrites]

When I watched Amphibia, I kinda had a hard time understanding how certain headcanons were developed in the fandom. Especially Grime being Sasha's 'toad dad' and Olivia and Yunan being Marcy's 'newt moms.'

Like...by the end of the series, I totally bought Sasha and Grime as close friends (heck, they sold me as friends partway through season two), but Grime never gave 'adoptive dad' vibes to me. Putting aside the fact Grime's the reason Sasha spent her first month in Amphibia in a cell, he's also a pretty toxic influence on her, indulging her worst traits and only really improving as a person when he and Sasha form the resistance in season three.

And I'm confident viewers only started the 'newt moms' headcanon because of the episode Olivia & Yunan. Which is pretty ironic, since in that episode, Yunan initially objects to saving Marcy (she didn't even refer to Marcy by her name, just 'the human' XD), and like you said, Olivia explicitly states she's motivated to save Marcy because she trusts her and thinks her intelligence will help them defeat Andrias, not because Marcy is someone she's emotionally attached to.

Sure, in The Hardest Thing, Olivia and Yunan hug Marcy goodbye, so there was clearly some fondness for her by the end, but nowhere near familial feelings. And yeah, maybe you could argue Olivia cared for Marcy since she insisted on being 'gentle' when Marcy was being pulled out of the tank, but that's just basic decency; hardly 'adoptive mother' behaviour.

With all that in mind, why do you think so many got so hooked on the idea of these people being found families for Sasha and Marcy? Did they think Sasha and Marcy both 'deserved' a found family just because Anne got that with the Plantars? Did they just like the idea, even if canon did almost nothing to validate it?

I personally think it's because a lot of people thought Sasha and Marcy's parents were abusive (another headcanon I can't get behind), and believed they deserved to find 'better' families in Amphibia. But that's my take; what's yours?

So there's a LOT here to potentially discuss because you're not wrong in saying that it's a dubious claim. Let's start with just my thoughts on them being found families: I like Grime as Sasha's father figure in works but it is much more a mentor and student relationship but where who is doing which is very dubious. The two need each other but how much one or the other need each other is constantly shifting and it's part of what makes their dynamic interesting. Trying to place a specific label on them is rough and I'd agree that saying that Grime is Sasha's first healthy friendship would be accurate because of the push and pull there.

Yunan and Olivia are great in fanworks as having had a real relationship with Marcy but the show just doesn't support it. Yunan seems to look down on her and barely know her while Olivia is a very normal archtype of the proper, Victorian woman who has to deal with childish antics. Neither are bad characters for it but it does mean that the moment in the end with her hugging Yunan and Olivia is more for the sake of a curtain call than it is a big relationship being wrapped up. They honestly symbolize Newtopia, which Marcy definitely should still love, rather than their actual characters in that hug and I think that works.

Now, why are they called found families?

Well, the first reading for why is honestly what I'd probably put my money on: It's a popular trope and people liked the dynamics enough to want to push it into the box they wanted it to be. Like how TOH is praised for its found family despite the family doing so little together, it's a trope with poor definitions, is hard to disprove and is just roaring through fiction right now so its overuse as a term isn't surprising. The fact that it gets used to describe so many people with just dynamics in general (frankly, it feels like it's becoming harder to write best friends in fiction partially from this) makes me unsurprised that it is getting used here since Anne does absolutely get a found family with the Plantars.

Which does bring a second part in: It makes Sasha and Marcy more important. If they're going on similar journeys as Anne than they totally aren't there to help with the themes and the like, the journey is about them too! It brings them closer to being the focus of the story and as narratively important as Anne which, as we've seen, was a big deal to the fandom. I won't even call this bad, fandom will do as it does, but it does also end up diminishing just how big a deal it was for the Plantars to so thoroughly integrate Anne into their family and then how the Boonchuys recognize that work and accept them readily too. If it's as easy as it had to have been for Marcy, Yunan and Olivia, it kind of cheapens the core thrust of the show, almost like it focused on Anne for a reason.

The last one is... KIND OF what you brought up but I think it's a lot deeper than you frame it. I recognize that nowadays I am an outlier. I literally go and take a walk with my mom every morning, or I'm supposed to, to try and help her be more physically active. My problems with my parents are mostly due to my brain not being able to accept anyone actually approves of me, let alone people who's approval I care about. I am so very lucky to have good parents who I am happy to call my parents and who I am glad to have the support of.

All too many kids, even those not in the LGBTQIA+ but ESPECIALLY if they are, have bad family homes. They dream of being able to escape to a new world that's better than theirs, meet people who accept them for them and let them do cool things and be themselves. Escapism, especially isekai, is EXTREMELY popular for a reason, especially as just the world in general sucks, regardless of your relationship with your family.

So then we get Marcy and Sasha still going back. Them ALL going back because sometimes change is inevitable and not always can you bring the ones you care about with you. It's a powerful message that spits in the eye of that escapism and for a lot of people, that HURTS. Like for as much as I defend the choice, I do understand why so many in the fandom reacted negatively to it. For as much as they potentially didn't care about the Amphibians, they don't want to lose the froggy world that they wanted to live in themselves.

And so we get the projection of abusive parents. We get the toads and newts also being found families because it's so much worse to give those people up in your life than just saying bye to your friends. We get reasons why they should have stayed or at least been allowed to travel between worlds. This isn't even all inherently wrong, especially if you are willing to admit that there was a reason why the show chose the ending it did, even if you wish you could have the one that makes you happier.

Hell, we even see some of that with how people treat angst right here. They want Sasha and Marcy to have abusive parents... Because then they can be told it's okay to reject reality, be given a hug and then move on. Not to explore that abuse but to be given the wish fulfillment of that abuse being met with kindness which is admittedly how you should meet that stuff, please take abuse victims seriously and help them, but life is more complicated than that most of the time.

These are arguments I can understand and sympathize with though. I wish I could see someone using mental illness as now their superpower to be something that makes me happy because it WOULD be nice if my depression made me better than others. I just... don't quite engage with media that way though. It's actually part of what I think makes scripted content harder for me because I engage too genuinely and don't just want a pat on the head and a juice box.

And that isn't to say people who do want that are wrong. I still don't want to be actively hurt by the media I consume. I am still there to be entertained and happy and how that happens will be different for each person. That's part of the joy of life.

So I won't tell people who want Yunan and Olivia to be Marcy's lesbian moms they're bad for wanting that. Just don't tell me that's objectively what happened in the story since analysis and headcanon are genuinely different.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[lottieurl]

i don’t know how to feel about this episode either.

the lack of horror elements this season is getting annoying to watch. season 1 was excellent at teasing what’s to come and uh there’s absolutely nothing going on in that department in season 2.

the jackie feast should have been gorey and fucked up but i was willing to excuse that because the baby was yet to be born and given the build up? i was absolutely expecting something out of this world and just awful to happen.

nothing against sophie and her acting because damn! she acted so very well but uh. i’m not sold off on the whole shauna wanted the baby thing. that dream sequence was unsettling but it was weird because when has shauna shown an ounce of love to this kids prior to the birth?

this baby is what doomed her relationship with jackie right? maybe the upcoming episodes will deal with this but uh. the resentment i’d expect from shauna to feel about this baby isn’t there. not in this season at least. which sucks but maybe i’m just reading the room wrong.

i really love this show and it’s character work because it’s excellent but uh, not a fan of the execution for one of its biggest plot lines

hmmm idk if i agree overall about the horror elements missing cause to me the jackie feast for example was genuinely unsettling disturbing upsetting and so on which happens ALMOST NEVER. i'm not a good judge of what's scary in general cause horror just doesn't scare me and rarely genuinely manages to disturb me. so for example with s1 i was actually SHOCKED to find out any of that was scary or disturbing to people. so in terms of how i'm personally affected.. well s2 hits much harder. and feels darker in general which is a fitting progression in my opinion. but because of that i really did think they'll go really dark with this pregnancy storyline and it's like they were too scared to? like even the fact that shauna's feelings regarding that baby confuse me aside it's like. why didn't we even see the dead baby? that's the show unafraid of gore in every other ep since the pilot COME THE FUCK ON whose sensibilities are you afraid of hurting

[fatalism-and-villainy]

Have you finished Interview with the Vampire yet? What did you think? I just finished the finale and I’m still figuring out what I think about it.

I have! I think I'm....... also figuring out what I think about it.

To me, its framing feels quite moralistic, in a way that's grating to me. There are many ways it appeals to my id, but I think the show is determined to undercut that appeal, and wag the finger at the viewer for being compelled by the concepts and dynamics at play. The domestic violence angle, as I've said before, really didn't work for me - it felt like channeling the elevated, campy absurdity of Lestat through a register that doesn't suit the story. I saw someone say that they loved the fact that even though they were supernatural creatures, the interpersonal violence between the three of them was grounded in realism, rather than being at a remove, and honestly, I didn't. I hated that. The nature relationships between them are already somewhat divorced from reality - this is even touched on with the shifts in Claudia's status in that household - so the fact that they felt the need to lean into how the Louistat dynamic would function if it were a real relationship felt distasteful and patronizing to me. The overwhelming need for control and possession of another person due the paralyzing fear of loneliness, and the irresistible bending of one's thoughts and desires towards one person, even though they're evil, are both incredibly hot dynamics for me. But grounding those in the context of a real life abusive relationship, rather than a gothic romance, dulls that shine, and makes it harder for me to appreciate the more fanservice-y moments.

(I have some sort of argument here about how the writing in this show, coupled with some popular reactions to Dracula in the Dracula Daily fandom, reflect a cultural backlash against dark and violent eroticism and fantasy - not sure I'm phrasing that right, but it's definitely a trend I'm noticing, and that I don't like.)

I think there's plenty of room for ambivalence about vampirism - it is a trade-off! And a very lonely way of being! I'm fascinated by the vampire as being, in several respects, cut off from human life and connection (as well as the challenges of empathy when dealing with a being who's potentially sympathetic but also a bloodthirsty killer). But.... hmmm. This is certainly present in the source material, so I can't blame the show entirely for this. But I find the emphasis on murder, and being morally opposed to murder, to be a pretty boring tack to take with all this. Like, we know murder is bad. Agonizing over the ethics of killing people just makes me frustrated and impatient, rather than sympathetic. Angst of a much more selfish nature, like the impossibility of forming relationships and finding community, is much more compelling to me, and has much more of an interesting allegorical applicability for me. (This is probably why Lestat's selfishness landed much more for me, lol.)

And they were kind of getting at that with Louis and the queer analogy - the way he can't go back to his family, the way he's on the fringes of society, etc. But for me at least, that wasn't carried through with the potential it had, because there was so much more emphasis placed on the murder aspect, and on how grotesque Lestat's reveling in it was. When for me, the most appealing moments of the show were Lestat's gratuitous acts of violence. That scene in the finale of him draining that guy's blood into a wine glass while mocking his book was soooo fun.

And that brings me to Claudia, because I don't like the shift in her motivation in killing Lestat. I like the idea of it being a somewhat petty decision! Here, it's not based in spite over him turning her into a vampire, but rather Lestat's abusive treatment of both of them, which makes her seem much more righteous. It's too neat.

Claudia in general makes me a bit uncomfortable, which is unfortunate, because she really is an objectively interesting character, and the actress playing her is great. But there were a lot of aspects of her narrative that I found squicky, though to be fair, those are also not unique to the show. I'm thinking specifically of the emphasis in multiple texts on her body not maturing, rather than on the loss of adult identity and autonomy, which I just personally don't like. But her speech about how she could have had a husband and kids by now just felt, more objectively speaking, like a poor writing decision - there are so many reasons she'd be upset about not growing up, and centering it on never getting to be a wife and mother just seems stupid and sexist.

I didn't care for the thing with her dead boyfriend either, especially because the bit in the film so much of her fixations are with women, and wanting to look like them, and killing them because she can't become them - especially with a somewhat aged-up Claudia, there could have been much more queer potential to her character. Missed opportunity.

I also didn't like that they changed Louis being the one to kill Claudia. Both because I think it softens Louis' character a bit too much, and because it removes the interesting queer reproduction aspect of them both contributing to her vampirism ("I took your life, he gave you a new one"). Louis being able to read her thoughts, and Lestat being cut off from that dynamic, was an interesting result of this change, especially with both of them being Black. But again, this wasn't really explored symbolically to the degree that I thought it could have been.

Rashid-as-Armand... I'd seen the theorizing, but I was really hoping it wouldn't happen lol. Both because I really dug the D/s dynamic they had going on and Louis' dom vibes and didn't want it to be a bit, and also because I was interested in the concept of Rashid being not a vampire or a mortal but a secret third thing. And the method of the reveal was a bit silly.

Also, the writing was just straight-up bad and corny in a lot of places. That scene with Louis and Claudia on the boat where she asks "how does love work between two men" and he says "it works like love"... jesus, I can't even type that without feeling intense secondhand embarrassment. So much of it is grossly overwritten - I'm thinking of Louis' "a lie I told myself about myself" line in the first episode. It has no subtlety whatsoever, and not enough in a fun campy way, just in a "they think the audience is made up of idiots who don't understand themes and narratives" way.

(Another example - Louis saying "I'm a vampire" at the end of that one episode was quite silly. It would have been far more intelligent writing for him to say "I'm the devil", but "I'm a vampire" just sounds silly and makes it sound like he's coming out as a vampire. XD)

I also just hate the treatment of the women. What happened to Lily fully sucked, and the dehumanization of Antoinette was quite distressing. (It's possible she'll be only mostly dead, like Lestat, but.... I'm not optimistic at this point.) So many of the women just seem to be props in the story.

I think the last complaint I have (for now) is the way Louis' POV is dealt with. The "unreliable narrator" tactic is often never used to my satisfaction in media - especially visual media - and I didn't feel as if that element of the story was borne out the way I wanted it to be. (Though hopefully that'll be unpacked more in later seasons.)

Things I liked - I loved the horniness of the Louistat dynamic in the first few episodes. Louis saying "maybe we were put on this earth for a higher purpose" and Lestat saying "I put you on this earth. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself" was sooo hot, jesus. Louis' character backstory was great, and the race commentary added an interesting dimension to a very tone-deaf aspect of the original story. The fucked up hypocritical poly negotiation was a lot of fun. Daniel and Louis' dynamic in the present day as well. Even though I didn't love every aspect of Claudia, her actress was great to watch, especially in the chess scene where she's plotting to kill Lestat. I am curious to see where the show is going, and it's an enjoyable watch. But I do have a lot of quibbles, and generally feel talked down to in quite a few respects.

[aureutr]

I just this second realized: was the beskar sarcophagus (of nightmares) from Crash & Burn inspired by the Mandalorian containment cell for Maul in The Clone Wars? They *did* say that the cell came from a "bygone time" when Mandalorians had need to imprison Force-sensitives; is that where you got the idea from?

Kind of? I had definitely seen those episodes, and Maul in Clone Wars did influence it, but I wasn't actively thinking of his cell! The rules for C&B came about like this:

I read a few fics where beskar dulled Luke's senses and loved the concept. Sometimes I feel like having Luke being a near god in the Force puts them on such different levels that it's hard to find a middle ground for a relationship to blossom (other than, of course, Grogu). I think you can do interesting things with that, you can do something with just about anything. But I wanted them to be on a more even playing field. Beskar almost completely blocking the Force felt perfect.

I thought through the consequences of that rule, especially that thicker beskar == more blocking. Din isn't 100% covered in beskar, and if Luke concentrates really hard he can get a vague sense of him (this comes up, like, once? I forget). But a box several inches thick? Hooo boy

I remembered the time Maul Force-choked Bo-Katan in TCW, and she was wearing everything but her helmet. Therefore to stay canon compliant (which I tried to do when possible), I decided the Dark Side wasn't affected. This is also why it's Bo who tells Luke about Maul and beskar :D

I don't want to say "It wasn't influenced by Maul's cell at all!" because I probably had that in the back of my mind. But the active process of the C&B rules was the above.

also Maul's cell had a little window in it so it wasn't as bad as Luke's lmao

Thanks for the ask, anon! I'm going to ramble about writing the Force in general under this cut because now I'm thinking about it 😂 Feel free to skip

I have a whole set of rules about how I write the Force. I try to stick with them regardless of story, but they are malleable. Especially when I think something would be funny. Or tragic. Not all of this has made its way into the forefront of a story, but it's all in my head when I write Force stuff.

Anyone with the slightest bit of Force sensitivity can achieve anything with enough hard work, but some have a natural headstart (the Skywalkers are ridiculously far ahead).

No passive mind reading for Light Side users. I really don't like it when Luke casually reads people's minds in fic when he's supposed to have his canon personality. Focusing to do it is fine, but it should be a bigger deal.

Reading emotions? Hell yeah, all over the place. Constantly. People with emotional/social "walls" up are harder to read, even if they aren't Force sensitive

Being able to tell if someone's lying, that comes and goes with the story. It worked well in C&B but I've set it to the side for others

Shields! I love love love mental Force shields. The concentration it takes to initially build one until it becomes second nature and it's just always there. Gently knocking on someone's shield to slip into their mind to talk, or share something, or some other reason. Attacking an enemy's mental shield to break in and get information (usually a Dark Side user). It's such a cool place for a "fight" that I think is easy to overlook

Force bonds I mostly use to let people connect over longer distances, or more casually slip past shields. Luke and Leia have a natural one. I adore the twins and what they can do in the Force

Speaking mentally isn't super easy, unless it's with someone you've bonded with or have let you in past their shields or you're in the middle of...

Dream sharing! This is something that I will fully admit to borrow-stealing from Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns (which is my all-time favorite Star Wars fic, I've read it like a dozen times). You can invade/visit someone's dream, according to how they feel about you. Luke and Leia slip into each other's dreams easily and sometimes accidentally because twins.

Kind of a cousin to dreams, sharing memories! C&B gets into this one, but with enough careful concentration Force users can even do this with people who are null in the Force. With other Force users it's trivially easy.

Beskar, of course, blocks the Force. Sometimes it also blocks the Dark Side if that would be better for a story

Force users can manipulate the chemicals in their bodies (see, OQKaP above). This is a short term trick and not a good idea to do a lot, but if you know what you need? Powerful and dangerous.

I won't break down every single Force power. Mind tricks don't have extra thoughts around them for me, for instance. And I don't know how much of this is even canon, but it's what feels "right" to me so I use it as a baseline for things.

That was not really relevant to the ask, hence the cut, but I hope someone enjoyed it? haha

[sophia-sol]

The Wife in the Attic, by Rose Lerner

I read this book on the sales pitch that it's a Jane Eyre retelling featuring Jane/Bertha, which like, obviously I was all over that! In practice, although there are many things about this book that are delightful, there are aspects that make it not quiiiiiite all hang together as a coherent narrative to me, but it's still definitely worth the read..

See the thing is......it's a gothic novel story, with a romance novel ending, and the two parts don't quite match up! It's got all the "oh no who to trust, when I am a young woman trapped with no allies in a mysterious old manor house completely under the power of the rich person who owns it" stuff, it's got the tone of creeping dread, it's got the genuine fear for the well-being and safety of the protagonist, it's got people behaving strangely, it's got murder and fire and allies who don't trust each other. And then somehow it has a romantic happy ending?

Like, sure, yes, I'm definitely delighted to see the Jane and Bertha analogue characters (Livvy | Deborah and Jael) team up both romantically and...murderously....but. For them to have a genuinely happy ending I feel like we need a LOT more unpacking of everything that just happened!!!! Because it's a lot!

I do also feel that the eventual change from Deborah's uneasy lack of clarity on who she can trust between Sir Kit and Jael, to being 100% on board with the idea that murdering Sir Kit is the absolutely only path forward, happens kind of abruptly. I wish we'd gotten a LITTLE more there, to make the transition feel more understandable!

And then the revelation at the end that Deborah does have a lot of people who care about her and want to help her feels unearned as well -- I feel like there needed to be a little more attention to that as a theme earlier, for this to feel like a meaningful revelation.

BUT. Despite my misgivings, the book is absolutely going whole-hog into its stated intents, and I love that for it. And I love that Jael is allowed to be a complicated person who doesn't always make great choices, and it's STILL not fair or okay the way Sir Kit abused her, instead of having her be the perfect innocent type of victim. And I also love that Deborah and Jael's shared secret Portuguese Jewish background is a way that they are able to connect, and how it allows them to understand each other on ways they are not understood by other people.

And the child to whom Deborah is a governess is an excellent child character! Believably difficult in many standard child ways, obviously struggling with the complicated relationship she has with her mother and with the secrets of her household, and still a child whom Deborah loves while ALSO finding her frustrating!

It was a fascinating choice to make the Rochester analogue, Sir Kit, such a very charming man who is admirable in many ways. He's a good father to Tabby! He's dedicated to his tenants' needs! He's able to be open and emotionally vulnerable about his personal struggles! He's generous and thoughtful! AND ALSO he's the kind of person who locks away his wife in execrable conditions in order to make full use of her money without having to deal with her as an actual person in his life, constrains his governess to have no liberty to talk to anybody without oversight or ever even leave the house alone, locks all of his servants into their rooms overnight, and (probably? maybe?) intercepts all mail that enters or leaves the household to be in control of all information.

Nobody but Jane actually liked Rochester, really, but everyone loves Sir Kit, which makes it all the harder to be able to act against him.

Anyway, at the end of the book, the character I'm most concerned about is Tabby. She's a young child who has just had an enormous upheaval: her beloved father is dead, murdered by her mother and her governess; her nurserymaid has quit, leaving her with a stranger as her regular caretaker; her home is burnt to the ground and furthermore doesn't belong to her family anymore, and she has no other stable place to go. And it's possible she suspects that her father's death was not an accident. That is a LOT for one child to experience at once!

Deborah and Jael may be fucked up by their experiences, but they have power and control over their own choices now in a way they never had before, and they have each other for support and for another person in their life who understands what they're going through. Tabby has nobody whom she can fully trust and feel she can go to for comfort and support, and definitely nobody who won't lie to her about what happened. She's had only intermittent abilities to interact with her mother for years, and only ever in secret and at night in ways that made it fraught, and her governess is honestly a very new part of her life, so she hasn't had time to build a deep bond with her yet, and NOBODY else from her old life is going to remain in her new life. And she's a child! I Have Concerns.

[impprtante]

Eira's 7 Children (their problems and their origins)

Imma go out and confess: i messed with the features of the first batch of kids.

I was very early in sims 4 gameplay, i still wanted all my sims to be really pretty paragons (yes Snow White was the pinnacle of cute as a middle schooler, shuddup) so when they came out ugly or fat (yes fatphobic tiny me, i promise im better and working unlearning anything else i got in there) and now whenever i get a sim i just find them all so precious and different im not really bothered by eccentricities.

Also, now that i look at them i'm a little creeped out by them, Just a little.

But yes, i did mess with the features of the first batch of children.

The least offensive ones is that i just wanted all their hair colors to be different so i could differentiate them. This proved not to be a problem for me now, but yeah none of these were like the original hair color.

The other thing is that, yikes, i had kids with townies. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but in case i ever want to divorce the family from the sims, have them live without it as a crutch so hard (like when people make minecraft OCs and later when they write the world for the character is has minecraft mechanics and monsters lmao) so im actually kinda like, if i write a story i don't want their names attached. The biggest offenders of this:

J Huntington III and Travis Scott

Mr. J was the father for the first child, Phoenix. I don't know how it happened anymore. How did that tied sweater work on me to think he was a good candidate ;; __ ;;. As for Mr. Travis, EIRA LITERALLY MARRIED HIM. NO JOKE. I was like "she settles in the end," and ITS HIM. THIS DUDE. It's literally like when there's the super pretty girlfriend (i thought she was super pretty) and she gets with the nerdy dude who people think isn't that attractive. Again, in real life there's other factors but in sims, i was new and hadn't formed any connections with the townies, i didn't know them at all. and i choose this dude to settle her with. Whuff.

Anyways, here's the profile of the 2nd gen as young adults:

VAMPIRE WHITE SKIN FOR LIKE, OVER HALF OF THEM. AND THE HEIR AT THAT ;; __ ;; AND LIKE ONE OF THOSE DON'T EVEN COUNT, HE WASN'T FROM THE GENE POOL. They scare me. Also, you can tell i was trying to lean into CC for Nephele but i gave that up, here lemme get you a non CC ver. Also, lol the clear women preference

Going in order (first pic bundle), we have

Phoenix. He's the eldest, child of Mr. J, and Snow 1.0, and as the first child I love him way dearly. I think he's like, my favorite, straight up. I've also played as him a lot just because he's in the starving artist catagory, and he's gotten the most character changes. I'm still uncertain whether to like, cut things or to merge things for him. His design doesn't change, I think he's cute and im too attached to him to consider it. His bad trait was being gloomy (depressed). To be talked about later.

Lamia, she was 2nd eldest. Her trait was jealous, and she was supposed to be a bitch (im currently playing as her and that kinda fell to the wayside whoops, i'll try harder). Her thing was being a pianist, entertaining at first, party person / aspiring musician. But her aspiration was joke star (._.). Her dad was a randomly generated person randomly named Adrian Buff. No, i didn't save him ;; __ ;;.

Basilisk, eh his age is kinda debatable. He's actually adopted. He was one of the babies you could adopt like, immediately starting a save file. Idk if it's different now, but when i started playing i had made (face palm) made AUs for them like i was gonna start over even tho i was on gen 02, not even that far. But for a while i kept adopting him just because i'd known he was there available in other different saves. ANYWAYS, he's a slob. I made him the stereotype of jock (ew) and he wanted to be an athlete professionally (aspiration body builder).

Next we got the twins, Griffin and Sphinx. TWINS. Challenge 7 kids going quick. Griffin was supposed to dress in black, Sphinx in white. They're supposed to be the genius troublemaker trope, and i had no idea what to do with them. Their dad (exposing myself) was a sim named Jumin Han (jwgelgdlwefnsd) no i don't have the sim saved. Their hair is genetically modified to be red, and their eye color the slightly diff blue shade. ITS ALL FAKE!!!! they were basically the same person, but one was clumsy (griff) and the other lazy (sphinx). They were so alike, i had them marry a set of identical twins at first.

Cindy, Ella, Eleanor, Nephele, was our heir. Also randomly generated sim, I think i have him saved somewhere actually. I remember Kian Cavanaugh's (randomly generated) name because i had her visit him and eventually he died on my lot (old age). Anyways, she didn't have any flaws because, heir (sigh) but she was supposed to be like, chronic foodie. So i honestly should've put glutton ._. (bruj). We'll get to her characterization later. But I didn't want her father to have been the one Snow 1.0 settled with, since i thought that was dumb (little me living for the drama of having different parents, not realizing she had no way to convey the kind of trauma and complex relationships that creates, thx).. I distincly remember her hair being a black (not me white washing her hair huiwlljlg ;;;;; __ ;;;;;)

Youngest and brattiest, Arachne. She got a shit name because she was supposed to be the most hated, the one doted on (because Snow 1.0 settled with her dad (ew travis) that spoils her) and the stand in for evil step sister. She has anger management issues. She was supposed to be bratty, then terrible edgy teen (last picture), and then mellows out, taking her outlet of writing to gain success.

There's the run down, we see what changes i've done (so far) to le Eira clan. I took the liberty of playing as them as teens (children aging up messes up the faces) so they got some relationships due to growing together :3

[ganymedesclock]

What do you think are Hornet’s thoughts are on her relationship with Ghost/THK/the vessels? I got the distinct impression that Ghost was the first vessel since THK (if they ever met, the parry and lunge attack theory still lives in my heart) she encountered alive, and to me she feels very distant to vessels in general, initially treats their eldritch nature as all they are which like, understandable to an outsider as we’re biased to Ghost’s pov (and they Care her if nosk is to be believed)

My personal timeline of events is that Hornet didn't overlap directly with Hollow, because she was living in Deepnest with Herrah at that point. After Herrah became a dreamer, that was when White Lady took Hornet in as a "favor" / in the other queen's memory. It may or may not have been an actually kind action.

So Hornet was... kind of in Hollow's shadow, when it came to relating to her father. She knew PK personally at a point when he was basically dead in the water and going through motions progressively shutting down because ostensibly he'd succeeded at everything he'd set out to do, but at a pyrrhic price long before it became obvious that PK's theory was flawed from inception and Hollow's sacrifice was meaningless.

So that's a lot of how I feel like Hollow was to Hornet; she 'came into' the world that they ostensibly saved, at the part that she was paying attention to Hallownest politics at all rather than staying safe in the deepest shadows of the nest where she was born- and was told that they were a Hero, if they were spoken of at all- certainly the fountain has a message- but there was nothing but grief. Nothing but a curse.

I think this affected her strongly once the kingdom fell and she started to view other vessels, and come to begin to understand what PK did exactly. Something rotten to its root. Nothing she has the skill or understandings to make right. She may have tried a lot harder to demand the first vessels stand down, which, of course, would've been completely futile. The vessels aren't empty, but any of them that would've crawled their way out of the abyss would have built up their resolve. They'd be able to hear Hollow screaming, understand or remember that one of their siblings was taken away by the light, that someone's not accounted for, even if Hollow might have been suffering in silence then.

I feel like it's entirely possible Hornet's responses to them, varied. She may have found some of them dying. Others may have seemed strong enough to make it, only for her to later find them gone or not find them at all- who knew if she knew the Broken Vessel, which seems to have become rather accomplished as a warrior and wanderer- before they died at the bottom of the world. Certainly they seemed to have gathered enough memory/dreams to themselves that a part of them lingers for a rematch as the Lost Kin.

Hornet is... not a quitter. But she is someone heavily shaped by grief and loss to the point that it's hard not to start to see those things as inevitable. If every home you've ever had crumbled out from underneath you, why would you bother to try reconnecting, either to the White Lady who still thinks of you fondly or the Midwife who wishes you'd just come home even if home isn't what it used to be? The Weaversong charm is meant as a farewell and a talisman to Hornet, who her people clearly knew or expected would be lonely with the nest ravaged, lost among bugs she only sort of relates to- but while Hornet is clearly flourished enough to make it through all of Deepnest with no problem- she comes to talk to you at the heart of Beast's Den after all- it's obvious she made no attempt to go into the Weavers' Den. The Weaversong as a charm Ghost acquires is evidence of a certain degree to which Hornet is not really trying to go home.

She's tough. She can deal with it. It's fine and warrior protector princesses don't get lonely we promise. (she lies to herself)

So I feel like Hornet is distant, but a lot of her distance is a product of trauma and conflict, and, to a lesser degree, a product of being "stern", as she defensively puts it before insisting to Ghost that she's not completely cold. Metatextually I find it fascinating that while it's inevitable she'd grieve Herrah either way, you have to be either lucky or careful in how you line up events to actually get to see Hornet grieve, and have her talk to Ghost about it.

A conversation that, no less, makes clear by her dialogue Ghost is actually prodding her, in their own way, about it- they give her a look that she reacts to when she opens up about Herrah.

Ghost is like... not exactly a champion at relating to other people. Disability aside they are a very stoic, overly-serious little soul with morbid curiosity and a sense of humor they are hard-put to explain to others. But I feel like there's evidence they are trying to understand Hornet, and their desire to prove themselves, including by force, meshes maybe a little too well with Hornet's long-burned sense that it's futile to trust or open up to anybody, leading to her outright trying to kill them before she lets herself hope for their survival at all.

(And in the Sealed Siblings ending... if that faith is unfounded she'd rather not be there to find out)

This is rather dark, but like... I admittedly do think Hornet and Ghost come to care about each other quite a bit? Both of them seem like once they can click to a point where they're actually, on good terms, they'd end up ferociously protective of the other or the idea of what that other cares about. And of course there's always the good, slightly painful moment of concern or panic Hornet would have the first time Ghost genuinely opens up a vulnerability to her because what are you doing, she barely handles her own vulnerabilities,

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vi)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: BUCKY BARNES IS BACK AND HAS A CONFIRMED PERSONALITY 

also omg everyone who’s been sending me ideas- ur the lomls. 

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Your place or mine? ;)

He stares at the text.

The right answer is mine. See you at the lair.

“Y’all are dating now?” Clint peeks over his shoulder. 

“Fuck no,” Bucky says indignantly. “God forbid.”

“Okay, man,” he retracts, giving Bucky space to turn around and face him. “What do you want to call your mini dates then?”

“Missions,” Bucky corrects him.

“No one wants to go on a mission. You volunteered to go back there.” 

“It’s for the good of the tristate area.” 

“I bet.” The snort he lets out contradicts his words. “Whole world is depending on you, Barnes. Go save them from the treachery of your crush.”

“Enemy.”

“Girlfriend.”

“Mortal nemesis.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him. “Go further, I dare you.”

“What are you gonna do? Choke me? Punch me with your metal arm?” Clint cranes his neck. “Bring it, big boy. I’m not scared of some kinky shit.”

He hates living here. 

The door is left open for him. 

This time, even though the lair is still illuminated by the green light out in the front, there’s a minor change. Sunlight streams in through a skylight in the roof. 

There’s a ladder there, leaning against the rim. It gives him an entrance to the roof, which, judging by the lack of any other presence in the lab, is where he’s supposed to go.

As he gets closer he notices there’s a note on one of the rungs.

‘Evil’ with an arrow pointing upwards.

He rolls his eyes, discarding it on the floor before swiftly scaling the steps.

“Ah, Mr. Barnes,” he hears your voice call out even before his head pops up above the surface. “We’ve been expecting you.” 

He pauses, looking around. “Who’s with you?”

Because other than the gigantic machine pointed up towards the sky, there’s only you with a visor and sunglasses. The  best way he can describe its design was that it was shaped like a pine cone, had a large antenna pointed towards the sky, two handlebars near its base to manoeuvre it with a large button in between them. 

“Just imagine I have my henchmen with me,” you urge. “I’m on a budget, man, I can’t afford them yet. Maybe when my cloning machine finally works-”

He doesn’t answer.

“It’s a James Bond reference,” you add when he doesn’t show any signs of answering. 

“Haven’t watched it yet.” Bucky shrugs. “We’re doing Star Trek right now.”

“You’re done with Star Wars?” you, receiving a nod in confirmation. “Nice. You’d find the spy shit ridiculous anyway, it’s way below your level.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He makes a mental note to add the Bond movies to the list. 

“Speaking of stars,” you begin, gesturing to the machine. “I’m going to harness the power of the sun.”

“For what?” He doesn’t bother asking how, he already knows you’ve figured out something. 

“There’s a science exhibition and my team’s stupid solar car experiment isn’t working and I need it for them to win.” 

“So build a better one.” 

“No, ours is the best and if Jeff and his stupid baking soda volcano beat us then we’re going to have a murder on our hands.”

“Your hands,” he emphasises. He has nothing to do with this.

“I said what I said, boy.” You glare at him. “This is our problem now.”

“How much power are you taking?” If it’s insignificant enough, it wouldn’t matter much. He thinks. 

“The whole thing.”

He laughs. He stops when you don’t.

“You’re taking all the energy of the sun to power your shitty science model.”

“Your face is a shitty science model,” you mimic him in a higher pitched voice. “I will do anything to win.”

He wonders which grade kid you stole that insult from was in. There’s no way they were anything older than 13. He could use it on Steve, maybe.

“Everyone on Earth will die.” He feels the need to remind you, even though there was no way it was actually going to take place. Eat shit, Clint. This superseded the tristate area.

“Not for eight minutes.” You look at your watch. “And, if Jeff dies then I win by default.”

“You’ll die too,” he points out. 

“I’ll die a winner.” You nod seriously as if that makes it better. 

He’s not that worried. Experience tells him that you’re not a mass murderer willingly. 

“You’ll die an idiot.” 

“Only if you don’t stop me.” Your lips curve into a smile. “And how will you when I do this?”

You yank the machine to point towards him and slam the button. His hand reflectively pulls in front of him to defend himself. Something hits him with enough force to send him skidding backwards slightly. 

He removes his hand carefully from in front of him, looking at you. 

Something feels off.

“You just-”

The knives strapped to his thighs suddenly feel heavier.

“Took your powers?” you finish his thought. “Yeah.”

He feels his body tip towards his left. He’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the arm. Had it been this heavy all this while? 

“You’ve barely changed,” you noted, “You’re just regular Bucky but like, 20% less beef.”

After all, he was a boxer when he was a teen. One of the best men the Howling Commandos had even before the serum.

His shoulder feels heavier though. And somehow he thinks he’s sensing things a little less. He can’t really hear the faint buzzing of the generator downstairs anymore.

“Yep, that’s real muscle.” He turns when you poke at his shoulder. He doesn’t know when you got there. “You’re like a modern day Schwarzenegger. Grade A beefcake.”

He can’t see the construction site near the horizon as clearly as he used to. 

Something about this situation makes him feel like he’s going to have a midlife crisis, even though he’s overshot the age by a huge number. No one has a midlife crisis at 106. 

“Now that we’ve established that this works,” you say, back near the machine again. When did you walk there? “Let’s show this bitch that I’m the brightest star allowed in this solar system.” 

He shakes his head to jolt himself awake, shoves aside his mental dysfunction and breaks out into a sprint when you pull the device down to aim it at the sky. 

He latches onto the side, using his left hand to pull himself up, straddling the machine.

“Excuse me,” you exclaim like it’s a minor inconvenience and he feels the machine sway wildly under him. “You’re weighing it down, get off my inator.”  

You’re shooting recklessly, trying to shake him off. It’s not dissimilar to the mechanical bull Natasha made him ride during a mission down south so she could win money off placing bets on him. They had lobster that night.

He reaches down to its side, hoping to feel maybe a panel he can rip off. He finds nothing.  

He hopes none of the rays are actually hitting anything. It’s a little harder to stay on than he’d imagined it would be, and he thinks that maybe this wasn’t the best plan. 

He changes his mind in a split second, swinging himself over so that he can climb the underside of the machine like a monkey bar. He feels like a fucking insect. How was Peter not mortally embarrassed? 

He factors in the fact that his hands are getting clammier and his grip is slipping faster than usual. Also, he can taste his lunch at the back of his throat.

“Motherfucker,” Bucky curses when his hand slips, leaving him to hold on only by his metal arm. 

“You okay?” you call out, not giving him a second to recover unless he really needed it.

He lets out a grunt, swinging his arm up and catching hold of the antenna, yanking it down and towards the machine itself. He pulls himself up so that he’s straddling the machine again. 

One more shot and-

“Very smart, Barnes,” you say dryly, letting go of the handles. 

He sends you a sly grin before sliding down the barrel, kicking the large button with his heel right before he jumps off. 

The beam shoots out, instantly meeting with metal. The device automatically gives a mechanical groan before powering down, turning off altogether. 

“I hate you,” you huff, before noting his paleness. “D’you want some water? An IV maybe?”

He dismisses it with a wave of his hand, inhaling heavily to catch his breath.

He’s tired, more so than he would have been under any normal circumstance. He feels a little dizzy, a little disoriented. 

“Don’t worry, your magic powers will be back in a few minutes or so.” You examine the bent antenna, pressing the button and sighing when it stands there lifelessly. “Once Jeff wins, I’ll send the dry cleaning receipt to you. You can pay to get the tear stains out of the kids’ outfits.”

“Your tears or theirs?” He’s relieved about the powers returning, he thinks.

“Both, bitch.” Your eyebrow quirks at his retort. Clearly, he had more energy in him than people realised; his brain seemed to be working fine. He was stronger than you thought. Good for him. 

“You’re smart. You’ll figure something out.” He lets out a final exhale before standing up a little straighter. 

“Thanks. It’d be better if you asked your billionaire tech genius to send us something, but okay.”

“It’s a middle school science exhibition. Make a potato battery or something.”

You tsk-tsk. “No points for creativity, Mr. Barnes.”

It creeps into his mind without warning. He wonders if he actually wanted the powers back. Wonders what his life could be if he maybe retired, settled down. For the brief time he feels like his pre-war self, he starts to think like his pre-war self.

“I’m not the one who’s about to lose to a baking soda volcano,” he finds time to respond, however. 

“Your face is a baking soda volcano.” You narrow your eyes at him. “I will not lose.”

“You’re running out of time. Chop chop.”

But the thought hits him. Who is Bucky without his super soldier serum? If he doesn’t have his powers then he can’t think of what use he is to the Avengers.

Who the hell is Bucky if he can’t provide a service to others? How else does he make up for being himself?

His, what he’s now deemed, afterlife crisis is starting to look more apparent.

He compartmentalises and stores it away in a box. He’ll bring it up with his therapist later. 

“I’m going to win and then you’ll be sorry you weren’t a part of it because you didn’t let me steal the sun.” 

“If you win, I’ll still be glad I didn’t let you.” He climbs back down the ladder, feeling the ache in his muscles reduce with every passing minute. 

True to your word, his powers do return a while later. 

And while he’s watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with Peter in the living room two days later, his phone beeps with a text. 

It’s a picture of a blue first place ribbon next to a toy car that looks like it’s powered by a potato battery. Beside it is an out of focus middle finger that is aimed at him. 

Congratulations, he texts back. Told you potato batteries always win.

Your face always wins, he receives in return. He can’t tell if you’re insulting or flirting with him. 

He just shuts his phone off and goes back to watching the show. 

Next part

[snifflesthemouse]

It's been a crazy day...

If you live in the United States, you know why today is a crazy day. But this isn't going to be about that. Even though I really want to talk about it.

THIS POST will have to deal with the rumors flying regarding the potential for a second Oprah Interview.

Do you ever wonder why people like Amber Heard just can't help themselves? Let me fill you in. Of course if you're new here, I strongly suggest you take a look see around the blog and get familiar with my credentials. I speak with the authority of my own experience alone. I am also infamous for admitting when I am wrong, though. (If I get time to see the corrections). Assume everything I say is speculative opinions only. Unless I have proof to show you, it's my own opinion, kay?

One would argue that doing a second Oprah interview would be unwise for all parties involved. Many criticized O for not pushing or questioning any answers given by the couple. I, on the other hand, have had time to digest everything. I feel that, in a way, Oprah always meant to allow them the peace of saying anything they wanted.

For O, she was the one who got the cash from CBS and iTV for the interview. As you most all know, finding a legal version of that interview is difficult. Every other interview O did after the duo is easily found. Not that one.

Maybe it's because O is waiting for the right number amount before selling streaming rights. Maybe this was really an overt operation. Maybe O's loyalty lies with the real Royals, not the runaways.

Think about it for a moment. The O video was the first big interview the duo sat down for after leaving the UK and royal duties. Oprah's notoriety as a talkshow host is massive in the US. She, in a way, is the closest version of royalty the US has. Even our elected officials don't survive the distractions of American idiotism anymore. Only those billionaire names and faces that have taken up air space for generations really hold that esteem here.

But anyone like O could only get to where she is by being wiser than everyone else in the room. Meaning she wasn't being played when the duo spilled their "truth". She could've been playing them instead.

If I were a narcissist billionaire wanting to cement or refresh my place in American pop culture, an interview with a controversial person would do the trick (i.e. Amber Heard, H&M, etc.). The narc is going to want to get everything out of the con as possible. Some will give up when they know they're caught. Others will lean in more. My ex was the latter.

My ex would lean in even harder. He would argue that real victims would never stop crying. It didn't matter if they cried wolf or bear. They never stop crying because even one glance in their direction is enough to keep going. It's an addiction in its own rite. People get addicted to openly bullshitting others because they know nothing will ever be done. If there is any hope out there that just one person believes the bullshit, the narc will fight tooth and nail until there are two believers. This is how we got to where we are today in many areas of society, but back to O.

She would know the real royalty is where the real value lies. She was still salty about not getting that Diana interview way back. For a lot of Americans, Harry is the closest thing to Diana they can get. Weird, I know. But still. The second son of Diana, Princess of Wales is way better than nothing. Even if the wife comes, too. BUT AGAIN... This could've been an opportune moment for a person like Oprah.

She would've seen the benefit in letting them ramble on and say anything they want. Especially if what they were saying could - and would- eventually be proven as a lie. O wasn't the liar in the interview. She was just a "safe space"... remember?

It could be entirely possible that O was really doing the BRF a big solid by allowing them to get their own nonsense out there. If there is a second interview, it would only be to finish the job left unfinished. Or just a big cash grab.

I wholeheartedly believe that O would only do a part two of an interview with strict stipulations. That would include cross examination most likely. O doesn't like being made a fool.

Narcs recognize narcs, and they will work together in tandem if it means everyone benefits. O gets her money either way. She's not the one lying.

It would be easy to think she allowed them enough water in the swimming pool to drown themselves. Otherwise, she risked her entire career for two fibbers and their truths.

OH A SIDE NOTE... How someone feels through something is one thing. Lying about things that can be proven to be lies is just lying. I am not debating her mental health issues while in the royal fam. Truth is, narcs love themselves too much to ever commit suicide. See The Thing About Pam.

Anyway... if the interview is going on, I doubt Netflix will get the rights to it. O would go bigger. I suspect they'll either be fired or have already been here in the last couple of days. It would justify the chin uppers coming from Nacho Man.

IDK... I think Gayle King would take the second one. She is owed that much for peddling for the Sunshines...

[tamaharu]

small orv details i picked up on my re-read

lee sookyung had (according to her own testimony, unable to be otherwise proven) been released from prison for a indeterminate "while" by the start of the story, and had merely been visiting seoul. kim dokja was aware of the fact that she was released (so he likely knew the broad length of her sentence) but never bothered finding her after she was released

han sooyoung picked up VERY EARLY to the fact that kdj is unreasonably suspicious of yoo joonghyuk. when they first met up prior to meeting shin yoosoung, hsy mentions that hes being harsh of yjh, considering from what she read, hes "fighting for the people." kdj, naturally, hits her with a "fake fan"

(harder to gauge due to wonky translation but) yjh kicked kdj in the nuts once

hsy and gong pildu got sent to peaceland by getting run over by a truck and falling into han river respectively

kdj didnt have a dick the entire time he was at the constellation banquet

uriel initially saw kdj as the top in the relationship and was greatly distressed over the idea he'd become an eunuch (a lot more happens to kdjs dick than i remembered. thats like, four things to do w kdjs penis? five if you count his little black book of sex in his mind palace)

yjh and kdj were holding hands the entire time they gave the nebulae announcement awwwww

lee jihye saw kim dokjas real, actual face without any form of censoring when he first rescued her in the dark castle (its most likely the censoring went back into effect soon after i think? its never really clear on it)

hsys clones didnt have genitalia. do you think 49 kdj had genitalia or...? dammit, i was hoping i wouldnt have to think abt kdjs dick anymore

when exiting paradise, hsy called up clones w kdjs face to practice fighting against. she made sure to punch his dick. (sigh..)

lee jihye calls shin yoosoung "little beast" THAT IS SO CUTEEE 🥺

when hsy and kdj are discussing his fate, kdj gets caught up in the fact that hsy is like... really pretty... not to the same detail as he gets abt yjh lol but more detailed than he usually is. its because hes in love with her.

in the 1st regression, yjh protected paradise and was screwed over for it (did he initially become a protector before being betrayed and fed to it? did he voluntarily offer himself up to protect paradise? some mixture of the two w/out him actually dying in paradise? doesnt clarify!)

for how much kdj likes to go onnn and onnn about how hes an emotionless powerhouse who only saves ppl bc they may be useful to him later, even early on the other characters are very influenced by his selflessness. in dark castle, when lee jihye stills thinks hes dead, she attempts to get shin yoosoung and lee gilyoung to evacuate and leave her to deal with the demons, which she very explicitly links to kdj. additionally, in paradise, when the destruction first happens, yjh spots some of kcom helping evacuate citizens and muses on the fact that this is the influence of kdj. in these two examples, you can very clearly see the link of kdjs selflessness sliding into suicidality by outsiders emulating this behavior. interesting!

i love yoo joonghyuk so much. (just a general thing, but prompted due to yjh coming to the realization that his regressions had chipped away at his sense of love and care for the world and people. seeing kcom in action, defeating reinheit, having the people of paradise thank him... it all reminded him that he truly is a person who loves people. that there truly is no point to the world if he cannot protect people, even in attempts to get to a "perfect scenario." and, upon coming to this realization, he links it back to kim dokja with a budding appreciation and love for the man and his ideals, and gives kdjs name to the survivors of paradise. its all very good. kdj is immediately incredibly suspicious of yjh because of fucking course he is.)

in the love meter chapter (MY BELOVED) yoo sangah is doubtful to the idea that kdj loves her the most, and while denying it she gets self-conscious and relegates herself to nothing more than his ex-coworker and "someone he helps." while it is later shown that shes more willing to think of them as friends than kdj is, theres some edge to this. she becomes much more confident as the story continues, but she does have lots of doubts about her strength in the team and as a friend of kdj. SHE sees him as a friend, but has undoubtedly picked up to the fact that he seperates himself from her. yoo sangah.......

hsy cried at kdjs dick explosion death (under proof of lie detection) awww

the place he and his mother met after his death was styled after their old house, to the extent that there are kdjs old child-sized shoes set by the front door.

i mentioned in the first fact that kdj didnt search her out, but on the other hand, kdj didnt know the exact length of her sentence and raises the question: why didnt she search him out after she was released?

fuuuck. [My mother refuted, "This isn't a novel. There is no ending like 'Everyone lived happily ever after' in reality." "I will see it to the end. In addition, when did I say I wanted that ending?"]

in the fight against the devourer of dreams, cheok jungyeong offers to have the demon who brought 41st shin yoosoung to their world transport kdj out of the scenarios. kdj, the bleeding heart, refuses upon realizing his friends would die if he left them.

hsy did NOT want to fight the demon king. kdj had to literally tie her up and drag her over. he likes her awwww❤️

he teases the fourth wall by imitating it AWWW everythings cute if you put your mind to it

i thiiink jang hayoung was transported into the body of aileens younger sibling! they share a last name. thats very cute.

[newswcanonprompts]

Slave Chips + Anakin Angst time

(who tf had this convo? whoever it was, all your body parts are going on the wall. kneecaps = TAKEN for making me fuckin cry)

The conversation started w/ a Anakin has chronic pain because of a very Loud force presence + all the fun stuff that comes from a childhood in slavery and formative years spent as a general in a war, and then talking about high vs low pain perception

And then Yui hops in with this:

what if Slave masters have technology in the slave chips where they can control their slaves pain perception--Low perception for when they work and high for when they get punished.

The jedi didn't know about it, Qui-gon forgot to mention the chip to the Council

and Watto " forgot " to turn it the high pain perception off as a way of getting back at the Jedi for “stealing” his investment

Oh my God what if anakin thinks they know and choose not to turn it off

WHAT IF HE THINKS THAT THEY'RE PUNISHING HIM FOR QUI-GON BEING QUI GON AND FOR THEM BEING FORCED TO TAKE HIM IN SO OLD

AND THAT FEEDS HIS BITTERNESS OF THEM

AND ALSO STOMPS HIS SELF ESTEEM

Because the pain NEVER stops.

So Anakin never says anything

It makes him think that he definitely cannot tell them about any injuries he has unless they make him unfit to work

And Obi-Wan constantly lectures him too and like he's already being punished he doesn't need to be verbally beaten down too

(note that it’s from Anakin perspective, the unreliable narrator of the year--Obi-wan actually has no idea about the chip)

And when he lashes out because it just HURTS and he can't contain it anymore, he’s berated AGAIN

Also, if the pain perception is controlled, that means the slave chip is still there, which makes the thought process he has about being punished for being taken so old even worse

And then, what if Kix one day finds a chip in Anakin's nervous system, he removes it, and Anakin begins crying with relief

And Kix goes "Sir Why WAS THIS TORTURE DEVICE IN YOU?"

He gets injured enough for emergency surgery and Kix finds the chip that way, meanwhile, Anakin can't have anesthesia for medical reasons, so he's dealing with the surgery awake and feels the moment the chip is detached.

WHAT IF ANAKIN IS FAKE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT BECAUSE ANGST

"Ah? Oh they didn't tell you? I thought it'd be in the brief. That's my slave chip. It's supposed to be there. It means they own me." And kix...kix is aghast.

the Jedi are all crying in a corner at the fact they let a CHILD be tortured for YEARS

Because Anakin admitted to a slave chip. Of being owned. And he calls obi-wan Master

Obi-Wan is absolutely devastated because he tortured the child who he was responsible for and he never wanted to do that and oh force, he's a monster (it’s obi wan so like. infinite sadness to the max)

The clones basically become Anakin's mother hens

WHAT IF THIS IS HOW THEY FIND THE CLONE CHIPS TOO

BC KIX GOES "IF THEIR JETII HAS A CHIP...ONE OF THEIR OWN... WHAT ABOUT US CLONES?"

Also the fact so if this is during the Clone Wars: they've sent Anakin in as a soldier without him even knowing he had a right to not fight

The Council decides immediately to take Anakin off the front and get to seeing a mind healer, before collectively drinking an entire bar under the table

Oh God did anyone ever explain to anakin. In depth. That just because they are called "Master" does not mean they own him?

AS A SLAVE, HE WAS ALLOWED HIS THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS. HIS MASTERS BEFORE DID NOT OWN HIS MIND. BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE WITH THE JEDI, IN HIS PERSPECTIVE

(again, Anakin’s perspective, the Jedi didn’t actually know. This somehow becomes an eventual fix it lol.)

Like LOGICALLY Anakin knows that Master to them means teacher but he thinks it doesn't apply to him because they won him and he is still a slave

What if that's the reason he kept his marriage to Padme a secret, not because he was afraid of being kicked out of the Order, but because he would be punished for loving a free person?

YEAH BC SLAVES DON'T GET MARRIED AND PADME WAS NOT ONLY A FREEBORN, BUT SHE IS ALSO, IN HIS EYES, SO FAR ABOVE HIS STATION ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

Oh, with the removal of the chip and the pain, Anakin gets high from the huge levels of pain-relieving chemicals his body has been producing for years to compensate.

Anakin living in constant fear of punishments, and that's why he always seems so high strung and on a hair trigger

Like!! This whole thing is a web of miscommunication and assumptions

Anakin assumes that the Jedi and whatever know about the chip and chose to keep it in.

He assumes he is still a slave if not in name, then in status

He assumes the council is constantly punishing him for Qui-Gon essentially forcing them to take him in and for his failure to adhere to their code.

He assumes Obi-Wan feels the same, or perhaps he cannot risk going against the council bc they're his elders and he still loves Obi-Wan, bc he sees that Obi-Wan does care for him

(but not enough to free you, a voice whispers in his head that grows louder every day)

Him talking about things with Palpy, thinking the man would be nice enough to free him...

the entire temple is just full of people drinking and crying over Anakin and Anakin himself is currently the most functional person around, trying to convince everyone it wasn't that bad

He doesn't realize that that makes it so much worse. He's all "Really, compared to my other masters. And to masters I could have gone to... you all were kind. I was lucky."

And they despair.

Because how could they still be given that earnest smile, of beautiful blue eyes, shining still with trust and love, when they tormented him, albeit unknowingly, for over a decade?

Anakin is just very relieved to be pain free, and that they didn't know so it wasn't on purpose.

Anakin: You all treated me so well! I had food and water every day, shelter and good quality clothing. You never beat me and my punishments, while sometimes painful, were done with no tricks without cruelty.

“You’re the best masters I’ve had.”

Mace, upon being told this by a very earnest and 100% honest Anakin, knowing full well how he made life difficult for Anakin and didn't like him much, cleared a whole bar of alcohol on his own

While the Jedi are crying, the 501st is willing to go on a murder spree. The Hutts are DEAD.

Everyone say bye bye Gardulla and Jabba

Anakin is just happy and relieved.

Yes there will be talking. He will have to establish boundaries, the order will need to regain its footing.

But Anakin is free, and he has so much love to give.

And now he knows that they never meant for him to suffer.

And maybe he's still high on being free of pain, but now he knows they genuinely cared for him and none of their kindness was because they wanted him to perform well. They were genuine.

Obi-Wan at one point just breaking down and holding Anakin to his chest and sobbing because how did he fail him so badly

meanwhile Anakin's just like "Master, it's fine, I'm fine. Hey crying wastes water, if you're going to cry over something it's gotta be something more major than this. I mean everything's fine, everything's better than fine now, I'm free."

Anakin not quite processing why everything he says makes Obi-Wan cry harder.

Quinlan must be very glad that he never tried to touch Anakin directly.

Anakin's self-flagellation issues are through the ROOF

[deleteddewewted]

Incel!Shinsou x F!Reader fanfic idea (Part 2)

So here we are, Incel!Shinsou is back and this time with a bit of growth that he needs to make independently (While thinking about the reader of course. Thank you so much to @blossominglark for sending in such a lovely message! Also here you can find a small explanation as to why i even started the Incel!Shinsou series.)

"I think I want you. I think you're bad. I think you're good, it's like the love I never had. I think I need you. Oh God, it's true. I think I'm falling and there's nothing I can do" - Beetlejuice Chill by Life After Youth

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 3: Incel!Shinsou x F!Reader (1/2)

How difficult could it be? To forget that you ever existed... thats what's haunting Shinsou ever since the conversation you two had a few days ago. He cant seem to focus anymore, everything just reeks of you. (His own bedroom where you two would sit on the floor and work on your project together. You would laugh at something that came on the television, every time resulting in his face heating up and heart beating harder at the sound, the beautiful sound, of your laughter. It doesn't feel the same anymore. He cant sit or sleep there anymore.) Shinsou starts speaking with Aizawa more, to be honest its not like Aizawa gave him that much of a choice. He needed to understand what was happening with his son and you in order to help or bring some constructive input.

Shinsou goes on and on about how he mocked you to his "friends". When questioned on his "friends" he said that they were all telling him that you needed to be taught how to be a "proper woman" the "perfect girl for them".

("Hitoshi what-...why would you...?"

"I don't know! It made sense when i was young and- i... i dont understand how or why and...please just- help me i dont understand!"

"It's ok, it's ok, come here." Aizawa hugs Shinsou tightly. He starts running his hand over Shinsou's hair comforting him.

"What did you show them? What did you tell them about...her, exactly?") A mess of tears and regrets, thats what Shinsou is. A puddle which he somehow drowned you in out of a bitter rage that had nothing to do with you.

Aizawa finally holding a grasp as to how Shinsou's mind worked, he couldn't help but feel defeated. He neglected his son so much he became bitter and resentful towards the wrong people, the wrong person. (Aizawa only ever told Shinsou that his mother moved away from them because it was "too much for her". Young Shinsou couldn't grasp why his mom would leave him, but again he never really asked questions since he saw how upset it made his dad. "Dont worry Hitoshi, ill be here for you no matter what. Got it, problem child?") An intervention needs to be made now. To prevent even more damage, to keep his son safe and his sons ex-friend safe.

"Hitoshi? The posts and things you put online, you need to delete everything now." Urgency was a must, damage control needed to happen now. Who knows if Shinsou wrote about where he lived, where you lived and studied at, if he showed those "friends" of his your face. Who knows how much information he put out there to a bunch of strangers about you. "Ok, ok. Let me delete everything...yeah...thats-yeah...makes sense." He's slipping, Shinsou is slipping into a pit of shock and disgust, he needs to fix things and that only starts by wiping away years of miss informed opinions disguised as truths.

Everything is gone. No more accounts. No more pictures. No more you. He didn't make any announcements or even address why he was wiping everything. He didn't answer the piles of questions flooding his inbox about why he was doing all of this, he just didn't care anymore. He couldn't find you either. No account on any platform with any signs of you. (He should have asked for your socials, but knowing where you two started off at he thinks its better that you two didn't. It saved you from his incessant torment he saw himself being capable of.)

Week one came and went. You didn't show up for classes and people started to take notice.

"Does anyone know why y/n isn't at school anymore? Is she sick?" Midoriya asked one day. Everyone kind of just looked at each other hoping that someone might have an answer. Be it that no one other then Shinsou was in the same class as you, everyone in his friend group knew about you since you where always nice despite the way you presented clothing wise. (The clothing didn't matter nor did the labels, you were still so welcoming to everyone. Hell, you even welcomed Monoma and that guy is considered psycho by everyone.) Shinsou couldn't do anything but listen to his friends (Midoriya, Shoto, Denki, Mina, Iida, and Ururaka) go on about how nice you were. How they miss you. He misses you . He ruined this, he ruined your school experience and pushed you to lose the friends you had because of his own ignorance. He forced you to choice between showing up to school and dealing with him or not coming in at all and losing the friends you had because of him.

The Sports Festival was coming up soon, here all the students would compete against each other to show off their skills. The Festival acts more as an opportunity for the different Courses to fight each other since its focus centers on the physical strength and wellbeing of the students instead of their study of focus. It also helps with publicity by letting UA show off their students to the general public. (Shinsou didn't understand why the school would have a Sports Festival. UA was better known for being STEM and Art focused which meant that many of the students only had to take 1 year of P.E. instead of the 3 years other schools required.

"So again, what's the purpose of this?"

"Its just a chance for the different Courses to bully each other, and for the General Course to get mocked." responded Togeike. Be it that she never spent time with Shinsou, they both had a mutual attitude and just stayed away from each other out of disinterest. It wasn't after Shinsou's personality changed did she feel more comfortable being around him and started speaking to him casually throughout the day.

"So what does the Business Course do during-"

"Hey, didn't you and y/n work on that project together?" This caught Shinsou of guard. For the past week its all been about you and how you hadn't been coming to class. (You haunt him even outside of school, the guilts too much for him at times.)

"Yeah...what about it." he snarls. Just because he's changed in appearance and largely in attitude, that doesn't mean he's over the way he treats people. Cant she get to the point already-

"Geez man, i just wanted to ask if you needed her number." That...was off. Why would she assume that he needed your number?

"Why would you give me her number? Don't you think that as former project partners i would already have her-"

"You're clearly upset about her not being here, so shut up. Either take it or leave it, jackass." she bit back. How did she know? Shinsou has always had a resting bitch face which made it hard to read his emotions. How did she manage to figure it out? (God he was an asshole!)

"Yeah, please....i'm sorry. I could-"

"Please shut the fuck up, i don't want an apology from you. Take it and fix this shit. I hate seeing people mope and you're pretty much dying in a pit here." Togeike really gives no fucks and she was tired of the purple haired boy looking like a kicked puppy. She assumed it had something to do with you. When you started skipping class, Shinsou also started to look upset and wouldn't speak that often. It wasn't like Shinsou was shy, he just didn't see the need to speak all the time. So to see him become even more silent was concerning.)

He left school that day with a skip to his step. He has your number! He has a way of contacting you! Yet, he still knew that having your number wouldn't fix anything. You left him alone and it wouldn't be fair for him to barge back into your life without proving he's improving, that he's actually deserving of you're friendship at least....

The Sports Festival.....

He can prove himself to you there....

Everyone will see it, every student at UA has to be there for credit....you'll have to be there. You'll also have to participate for the start of it, so you'll have to interact with someone.

(This was it)

This was so much fun to write! Lets give this a slow build up to give him proper character development and redemption. The next part will be the Sports Festival and what he plans on doing to get you back. Let's set up that his intention is too for one, make an impression on the school for when he decides to transfer to the Art Course but also to make an impression on you and get you to notice him in a positive light. Our poor incel is trying his best ok....