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#or like i ever belonged here
mipexch · 1 month
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been thinking about something wicked a little too much lately. no harm in romanticizing the ominous dreadful unstoppable force
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darlingod · 1 year
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Love was never a game to him (Cardan BYYOUIAMFOREVERUNDONE Greenbriar) LOVE HAS NEVER BEEN A GAME TO HIM AND WAS ALWAYS ONLY A FOREVER
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virsancte · 6 months
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good days aren't easy to come by
#simblr#ts4 legacy#valentine gen 4#fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own#but it's gonna get Long so strap in#basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15#he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman#it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to#devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever#and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen#he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old#youtube videos on his busted up phone#it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician#that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to#and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together#enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off#so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction#so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it#his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since#until now anyway#still not a guitar. but maybe someday#or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you
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gideonisms · 6 months
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tbh I am kinda hoping in 10 years they will invent a new gender and it will somehow feel perfect and I'll psychically know how to present as that gender and everything will be great and I'll never feel out of place in my life or my clothing again and everyone will understand my whole deal immediately upon seeing me <- delusional
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ratatatastic · 3 months
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Panthers Championship Parade | 6.30.24 (x)
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istoleherheart-3008 · 4 months
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Teacher so good when se asked what's so funny we told her AND SHE LAUGHED
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mcalhenwrites · 30 days
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Still alive, writing and editing a lot and even drawing (mostly dragon sketches at work). Seasons has some new chapters now... I saw something earlier about writing being something you can hone by doing lots of reading and writing. I wonder when that will apply to me. I've read a lot of books this year. I have almost hit my goal of 90 books, and while a couple are nonfiction and half are comics, the rest are novels. I expect that to increase again, now that I'm going back to the library. (I stopped with the bed bug scare.) Then I'm setting aside time each week to write. I work on stories at work, even if it's mostly just planning. (My laptop is falling apart so I just gave up taking it to work.) Yet here I am, still the same idiot who doesn't have anything appealing enough for most people to read. I can't get 99% of my followers interested. Sales of Geckos have dropped to next-to-nothing. Nothing else I put out there matters either. The fault lies with me. I'm not good enough. After having this stupid blog for 12 years, I want to delete it. I want to delete my twitter account. I want to delete every single account and shut up for good. There is nothing I can offer. My writing is a good hobby for me. I can get pats on the head for doing a little thing for myself. Aww, look at the cute little dumbass adult doing wittle storwies!!! Isn't that silly!!! They're not good, but he's having fun during the process. Too bad he hasn't figured out that not even 39 more years of practice can save what he's handing out.
#people lied about “once you have confidence nothing can take it away”#nah that shit can get killed when you're a fucking pitiful fool like me!#until the day when I actually make something that's important to anyone this is just me being a child-brained idiot scribbling words down#I used to think I was semi-decent... I did before Rascal but figured Rascal was inferior to my usual work#Then I felt bad about my writing bc of discouragement and locked my work up#felt a surge of confidence a couple of weeks before I started Seasons tho#then had some confidence after that until 2023 (lots of bad shit happened that year)#it evaporated quickly but I tried to maintain some#and now it's just like... me trying to pretend and “fake it till you make it” has never worked for me#but let's be real: the more I showed I liked myself the more bothersome that was for some people I was close to#and it's better to tear me down than lift me up#so I guess the problem is that I just don't belong in the writing world with anyone else#I'll never be good enough and I'm frankly too mentally fucking delayed to have figured it out (like everything else)#hahahahaha people keep telling me I'm autistic and my brother is autistic and my parents refused a diagnosis for me when the Dr mentioned i#and here I am probably too autistic to have ever figured out a damn thing except that I'm pretty good at reading and liking stuff!#but not skilled at anything else#just a reader and worthless as anything else#oh and I guess crocheting but I want none of you to have that part of me ever again
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crowrelli · 4 months
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#vent post#tw vent#my mom: it’s okay you’re homeless u can come here and have a gentle landing and we can work together to get u and ur fiancé back on ur feet#me: okay great now I can work off my huge overdue queue that I was having panic attacks about daily-#mom: actually fuck u ur a disgrace I need you to clean my whole house every single day and I’m going to knock on ur door every 20 minutes#and disturb ur focus (ik u have adhd it’s stupid just get over it) also ur whole family knows how much of a failure u are and are going to#scream at you on the phone about how you’re not doing anything despite the fact you’ve helped out every time I’ve asked and THEN SOME to#the point of eye exhaustion and shivers and mental breakdowns and then I’m going to forget it ever happened and make you do MORE chores and#yell at u if you say u need to focus again#me: …….. so this is the gentle landing huh?#I’m so fucking exhausted#they keep saying my art doesn’t make money and isn’t a career LITERALLY IT IS HOW DO U THINK I PAID FOR FOOD AND RENT FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS#they keep calling it my ‘little art thing’ and insisting I get a real job WHEN I HAVE ACTUAL PAID COMMISSIONS I HAVE TO WORK ON#I can’t just ignore these and fuck off to answer phones or stock shelves at your friends friends aunts car dealers place fuck OFFFFFF#like being homeless with 4 cats and 6 boxes of belongings isn’t hard enough I have to be fucking berated by people who haven’t tried talking#to me IN MY LIFE EVERRRRRR#fuck off
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dragonartist56 · 5 months
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The playable Sarentu being audibly giddy about helping Anqa set up a date with Priya>>>>>>>>>>
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basiltonpitch · 1 year
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on losing a mother
#yelling#s.poem#mom tag#poetry#okay to reblog#it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom.#her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better#and she did. for about a month.#she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday.#she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out.#the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her.#the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet.#i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away#but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better#that i should have been there for her#her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost#all of her belongings.#i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it#in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me.#but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she#there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering#but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day#i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too#anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.
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video-hole · 4 months
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don't ever look at popular social media personalities opinions on or check the tags related to a movie explicitly about the queer experience Worst mistake of my life. every single time a queer movie has gotten popular cishet people come out in droves to posit that Actually, my interpretation of the film where instead of being weird faggots everyone is normal is Just as valid as your stupid gay interpretation . and I'm meant to be like yeah okay
#yes i saw todd in the shadows tweet about i saw the tv glow yes im mad about it#for someone whose entire career spanning over a decade is built upon scrutinizing art#youd think he wouldnt have maybe the most dense idiotic take on this explicitly trans movie that ive ever seen in my life#“what if the curtains are just blue” type shit. never graduated from picture books type of reading comprehension#and i LIKE his videos and i have for years. this shit was just maybe the dumbest thing hes ever said#and i feel like since hes an out and proud lefty guy that people give him too much slack for very much still being white and cishet#not that those are things to be ashamed of but they do obviously color his opinions and the things he says#and for what its worth heres your obligatory reminder that this post is hyperbole lest anyone be offended#that im mocking their favorite internet personality. i guess#can we not just have literally a single thing that belongs to us. must we always cede ground to allowing alternative interpretations#to art that is explicitly about us.#god forbid. GOD FORBID anything not be for the majority audience. GOD FORBID anything be made by us for us#and GOD FORBID anyone ever have to admit that they just fundamentally cant relate to something that isnt about them#whatever i will probably delete this later because im not like a “discourse account”#and im mostly just ranting about a singular interaction i saw on twitter#but a lot of people have been having horrible opinions about this movie and its making me evil#through the teeth#i saw the tv glow
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fluentisonus · 11 months
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azulsluver · 1 year
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RAHHHH CHAPTER 7 SPOILERS CHIT CHAT
Now I think of it, Malleus is really possessive of Lilia. I’m not saying it because he’s a dragon (lol) but Malleus has always been overprotective of Lilia. He knows he’s capable of taking care of himself yet because Lilia was there majority of the time he was raised he can’t help but want to return the favor. It’s heartbreaking if you see it his point of view, with MC trying to find a way back, the same person he admires and genuinely loves because they’re not afraid of him. It’s possible he’s grown an unhealthy attachment for them, same goes with Lilia.
This is all platonic love with Lilia, Malleus wants him to be by his side, Lilia is HIS parent figure and knowing he might outlive Lilia since he’s years are decreasing is terrifying for him. I joked with my friend about Malleus being crazy for putting everyone asleep but she whole heartedly agree with him 😭! And I see it. Malleus, as much as he’s not a proper prince, or how he should act. Has a mind and behavior of a teenager? This could be the cause of his childhood, shunned in fear, Malleus used fear to his advantage at times. Without the authority and title he had gained, Malleus wasn’t able to make friends. It makes me sad because it reality when a person is in a higher status it is reasonable to fear or respect them, yet not get to know them as a person. Because you have no idea what they are cable of when angry.
Malleus had a valid reason to do what he did. He wasn’t properly taught how to handle rejection, to handle the fact life goes on without him, the people he love won’t stay for long. And he uses his power to change that, to hold onto the present longer. Others might think he’s throwing a huge tantrum over it but I think wrong, he was treated differently for all of his life. The only source of his comfort and happiness is slowly leaving him, what better thing to do than prevent them?
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tamagotchikgs · 5 months
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cannot believe the amount of joy i am being able 2 have everyday how did i get this lucky dude
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justewil · 2 months
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ok i love the mv viewer actually
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blujayonthewing · 7 months
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sure was Something to see a bunch of people on facebook yesterday like 'haha wow this weather is great! I'll sure take 70s over february weather any day!!' and then watch severe thunderstorms and tornados sweep through that night
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