#or matthias has hallucinations

[hungwood]

/ Anyways my headcanon is that by being in the manor, Louis has become more active in the sense that Matthias will frequently see that's he's 'changed places' or find him laying down or in a sitting position in places that dont make much sense? Like in the botanical garden, or in the kitchen's storage room. It was mentioned in his trailer how after he burns him for the first time, the period in which Louis drops by Matthias door as if nothing happened shortens, from weeks to a week, to days, to a day. At this point, Louis will appear back in one day, that's the point it's reached. no matter if he's burned to a crisp, even if Matthias were to throw Louis in the snow or dismantle him or burn him, Louis will appear the next day in front of his door, with no exceptions.

At this point he's pretty much lost any hope of getting rid of him by conventional means so maybe by participating in the strange manor game, he'll find an answer as of what Louis truly is, and more importantly, to escape him and his own past for once and for all.

[ruins-and-rewritez]

List of things about my Inej Dies AU that have been circling through my mind recently

Jesper is the only thing Kaz from giving up completely. Subconsciously he can't bear the idea of Jesper feeling the same pain he felt when he lost Jordie

Jesper is barely holding it together for Kaz. He never had time to properly grieve Inej's death and Kaz hasn't been the same since. Jesper refuses to lose him too

It kills Wylan a little everytime Kaz has another episode because he knows it's hurting Jesper too and there's nothing he can do to help

Nina isn't around often but when she is she helps out as much as she can. More for Inej's memory than for Kaz, because she knows it's what Inej would have done had it been her instead of Matthias

Kaz sees Inej everywhere and believes that it's her despite knowing the truth

Kaz has never visited Inej's grave, even though he bought her the best money could buy

Kaz sends Specht out to sea on the Wraith and is almost normal while they're gone. It's when they return and he can't pretend Inej isn't gone that he struggles the most

Kaz abuses drugs and alcohol in a vain attempt to numb the pain. It never works

Kaz's hallucinations are worse at night

Kaz tamed a crow that he talks to at his worst, as though Inej is the one in the room

Jesper and Wylan leave flowers for Inej every week. Geraniums

Nina always returns to Ketterdam with a small gift to leave at her headstone

Colm Fahey and Marya Hendricks attended the funeral with the other Crows.

Inej's parents stayed with Jesper and Wylan while in Ketterdam for the funeral

Kaz sends them money out of guilt that they don't except

Inej's parents do not blame Kaz for her death even though he blames himself

Kaz didn't speak for nearly a month after her death. Jesper was left in charge of the Dregs and the club during that time

Jesper visits her grave alone once a month to talk to her. He asks for her help with Kaz and asks her to watch over him

Nina talks to Inej whether she's home in Ketterdam or not. She planted an ash tree for her beside the one she planted for Matthias

Kaz kept all of Inej's knifes and uses them to torture slavers that Specht brings back to Ketterdam

Kaz had a new blade crafted that he name after Inej that he keeps tucked in a secret pocket over his heart (he never actually uses it)

Nina avoids seeing Kaz as much as she can because of his demands that she bring Inej back

Wylan dealt with most of his grief by channeling it into music. Every song is heart-wrenching

Despite the progress Kaz made with Inej prior to her death, now he can no longer touch ANYONE in any capacity

Wylan never says anything when he hears Jesper talking to Inej because Jes never does when Wy's the one doing it

Inej's parents pray for Kaz daily because even though he's across the ocean, they know that he's still grieving

No one mentions her death around Kaz because it always results in Kaz becoming violent or dissociative because he refuses to still be alive in a world where Inej doesn't exist

[the--last-great-american-dynasty]

this might be controversial (or maybe not! i have no idea!) but if they make a six of crows spin-off show, they need a new cast of actors.

look, the six of crows cast is perfect. it genuinely looks like they shook the books and the characters fell out (slightly older, but i could never really imagine kaz as 17, so i’m fine with that). but they majorly fucked up the writing. it’s written like it was never meant to have its own spin-off.

the worst is jesper and wylan. they completely rushed their relationship and took away basically any tension between them, not to mention, left no room for the kuwei storyline.

kaz and inej was also so rushed. they left absolutely no room for a build up in a spin off series. and inej’s hallucination sequence was fun, but also erased a lot of her trauma.

nina and matthias is the only couple they did right. EDIT: i was corrected in a reblog and i want to fix it here. when i said nina and matthias was done right, i meant that their storyline was the only one followed accurately to the books. HOWEVER, as i was corrected, nina was done so dirty in the show. nina has such a big personality and they completely wiped that and made her completely centered around matthias.

they basically took half of six of crows and crooked kingdom’s storylines, so a spin-off series would have barely any book plot left. and it’s too much to reconcile. non-reader viewers won’t understand if they suddenly just use the bits of book storylines again with the same faces.

i love the crows cast so much. but they aren’t going to be able to show up again in a future spin off. not if it’s done properly this time.

[sirenjose]

Thoughts about Mattias' Design Notes

"Ventriloquism" explains the "consonants" in Matthias' deducs 3 and 9.

The manor game designers being inspired by their "device design", but came to include Matthias himself after seeing him pursue "perfection" by playing the role expected of him...

Movable devices that have some way to talk (even if by pretending via ventriloquism) makes me think of Bonbon. Though he was made before the manor games...

There is also how the manor is seemingly responsible for making Louis and sending him back to Matthias...

Maybe a bit of a strange thought, but the Muse sculptures came to my mind too. They were also said to be "mechanisms" designed by Burke. From what we've seen so far, they don't move much or talk, but maybe they'll do more later in the main story...?

But besides that I wonder why else the manor games would need "movable devices"

As for the "perfection" bit, that makes me think of Hollow and his desire to "rebuild paradise", as "paradise" is essentially meant to be a "perfect" place.

With the role Hollow and Orpheus are trying make themselves out to be, they'd also be interested in "perfection". And with Hollow/Orpheus' desire for "vengeance", I'd imagine the idea of "getting stronger" was his first idea to achieve that perfection.

But for Matthias, "Louis" is the imagined "perfect" version of Matthias. Matthias just acts the way people expect him to. Orpheus also pretends in a way, considering what we know about him vs. how we see him act in the final game and in general.

I wonder if you could say Orpheus got the idea of the hallucinations from Matthias?

Matthias pretends to be Louis. Maybe this can be sort of like Frederick acting as Mary? Or Norton who we see holding a pickaxe pretending to be Fool's Gold and pretend to chase Alice?

Puppets are normally controlled via strings, though the Czernin's created "movable devices", so like the design notes say about the chess pieces in Matthias' essence, the Czernin's performance (+ ventriloquism) makes Louis seem alive and like it has a will of its own.

Orpheus in this case is like the puppetmaster, with the game participants being the puppets (especially with how in game they're shown with doll eyes). The participants are alive and thus capable of moving and talking and acting on their own, but Orpheus is the 1 manipulating and moving them into the places and roles he desires them to be in. He can also make them act differently from how they normally are (with the help of the drugs), or basically make them more extreme than they normally are.

But back to Orpheus himself being like Matthias in the way of acting out a different role than what he actually is. Orpheus in a way does act a different role based on people's perceptions. Specifically how he's viewed by the public due to him being a novelist.

In contrast, we know Orpheus' inner feelings are closer to what we see and hear from Hollow as well as how he acts as the manor owner/Nightmare.

In the final game he acts as if he's the son of the DeRoss couple. He acts as if the forest ranger wasn't his real father, as if Orpheus didn't have any part in the tragedy despite how we know from Bonbon's deductions he had been involved to a degree (at least by apparently stealing things from the manor for his real parents). He acts like he doesn't know Alice.

We don't know if he's truly forgotten or if he's only pretending, but this is still likely what he wants to believe in. Even in the present, after Time of Reunion, Orpheus believes in memories we know aren't the complete truth.

As we see in Matthias' Design Notes, the final line is appropriate. It's a "meticulously crafted illusion performance" that "became a lifelong, irrevocable delusion". Except now Alice wants to stop Orpheus, fix everything, and make everyone, including Orpheus, confront the truth.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Some random Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom headcanons

Because I’m just feeling it, and why not?

1) After Alys gives birth, Wylan goes to visit her and meet his baby sibling, and Jesper goes with him. They arrive to find that the baby is in fact half-Kerch, half-Suli and Alys is borderline tearful about Wylan knowing this; Wylan is trying to convince her that he would never judge her for cheating on his father because of the situation she was in, and Jesper has doubled over laughing because this is the funniest thing he’s experienced in his life. Jesper begs to be allowed to tell Van Eck that the baby isn’t his. As the kiddo grows up Wylan still acts as a brotherly figure, he visits at least twice a month and brings them the best presents, and he also gives great advice. His boyfriend gives less great advice that the kiddo has to be steered away from.

2) Ok I’m not sure if this one counts as a headcanon because I don’t actually remember the details of how this would fit in with the timeline between crooked kingdom and king of scars, but I have this idea of Nina going back to the Little Palace and Zoya and Genya being seriously concerned about her and originally not letting her go to Fjerda because she’s emotionally unstable, vulnerable, and (because of her death-related powers) having auditory and visual hallucinations of Matthias. Obviously we see her talk to Matthias in her head in King of Scars, basically I’ve been wondering what if that was the most controlled version and before that she would often fall into hallucinations where he was present or even to the extreme of forgetting he was dead until suddenly remembering what happened and continually reliving her pain. For example, waking up in the morning convinced he’s in the other side of the bed; she has a conversation with him, they tease each other, then she rolls over to kiss him and the bed is empty. I’ve actually been thinking about maybe writing a little fic of this so lemme know if you’d like it, I know there are fellow Helnik-angst fans out there.

3) Cornelius Smeet’s wife is brunette and nothing short of a counter argument from the queen Leigh Bardugo herself will ever change my mind.

4) When Inej starts going after slavers, she builds herself up before taking down Heleen but she doesn’t have an attitude of ‘leaving her until last’ because she’s seen what that’s done to Kaz. She knows that Kaz will never have the satisfaction he’s searching for - I could write essays, he’s in many ways an addict - and so instead of finding the individuals who hurt her and taking them down one by one until only Heleen remains, as Kaz has done by murdering the boy who acted as the roper and by the implied murder of Saskia and Margit as well as many others, Inej doesn’t focus her efforts on directly tracking down the people who hurt her individually. Her focus is far more in the individuals who are being hurt right now. She will go after Heleen when she is good and ready, but it will be by no means the last act she takes in her journey because the purpose of this journey is not revenge on Heleen; the purpose is the act of taking the journey as her healing process and saving not only the thousands of children being hurt right now, but the thousands more that would continue to be hurt by the people she takes down for so long.

[byjillianmaria]

WIP Tag Game

I was tagged by @nrivanwrites!! And seeing as how I'm currently procrastinating on To Consume, I'll be answering for that one :)

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

I have to write chronologically, so technically the first scene I wrote was the opening chapter, with Alya and her mother driving to their new home... however, I'd say the first scene I had conceptualized in my head was the, erm, confrontation between Alya and Matthias.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I associate this WIP most heavily with Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain (which is associated with the aforementioned confrontation), so... probably a snippet from that song, specifically the part where Ethel breaks down and starts screaming. Let's not give people any doubt about what kind of show this would be, huh?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

The whole cast is quite dear, but I'm really loving how Kass is turning out this draft! She's gotten a bit more... weird, which has been really fun to play with. Also having her just be fascinated with the supernatural and morbid stuff going on gives her an excuse to get wrapped up in the plot that's independent of Alya, which is so important for a love interest.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

I just finished reading My Darling Dreadful Thing by Johanna Van Veen, and was shocked by how similar it was to To Consume! So fans of sapphic gothic horror will also love that one. I do also feel like fans of Mike Flanagan's Midnight Mass will like the religious horror aspects, since both works take place in a rather isolated Catholic community.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Just, letting myself get unapologetically gross with this one. Leaning into the gothic horror tropes when my instinct would be to shy away. In the first draft, I was still writing this as a Young Adult novel, but the more I get into it the more I think that it's probably going to end up as an Adult novel instead. Figuring out that shift in tone has been difficult.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Kass lives on a farm, so there are quite a few animals around! The girls are going to sacrifice a chicken in a few chapters. Hogs may or may not eat someone, and that someone may or may not be already dead. Also there's a hallucination of a wolf wearing the pelt of a lamb that may or may not be a version of God! It's fun times all around!

7. How do your characters travel/get around?

Alya mostly walks, but sometimes her mom drives her places.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I'm... about a third of the way through, maybe a little less? I'm on chapter 9, Alya is sitting in her Morality class and is about to have a very bad time.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) You think will draw your audience in?

The gothic horror, the cannibalism, the blasphemy, the cannibalism as blasphemy, the religious horror, the violence of it, the queerness, the absolute Catholicism of it all.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

I would love to get this one to critique partners this year, and then to beta readers either late this year or early next!

Tagging @cwritesfiction @sodaliteskull @sleepyowlwrites @roselinbooks @dilly-dahlying aaaaaaand anyone else who wants to answer!!!

[turbulentscrawl]

No idea if youve seen it yet but thoughts/opinions on the new surv Matthias that is coming? Do you like his desing or the trailer and what do you think his backstory may be?

If there's one thing I can do in this world, it's run my mouth. Of course I have thoughts ;)

Firstly, the puppet is creepy...but I am glad this survivor leans into the horror aspect of the game so much! I've watched the trailer a few times and I have three ideas about the relationship between Matthias and his puppet. But first, a few general notes from the trailer.

First, Mattias's father was a vintriloquist. He uses the line "a puppet without strings," but we do in fact see the puppet being manipulated by strings at the beginning of the video. "No strings" is relevant only to a shot of the puppet sitting on his father's lap.

Second, I think Matthias likely has schizophrenia. Most of the idv characters have a mental disorder of some sort, and this would fit him for several reasons. The first being that auditory hallucinations are common, and Matthias's father being a vintriloquist may exacerbate his struggles with this. A man who specializes in throwing his voice onto other subjects, with a son who hears voices? His mentioning of "a nightmare" may hint at certain delusions as well, which i'll get into more below. Additionally, though this may be a stretch, people with schizophrenia are sometimes characterized with "unusual movement" which may be nodded at by the shot of Matthias being jerked around by puppet strings.

Third, there was an actual fire at some point (that Matthias either set or took the blame for.) There's a LOT of fire in the trailer, and it's not just symbolic. Near the end we can see part of a newpaper at the bottom of the screen, with the headlines "Major...Accident" and "The Puppet...Collapse" with an image of a building up in flames.

Now for the ideas about the puppet itself.

Matthias believes he is the puppet. With this one, Matthias, for some reason or another, feels replaced by his father's ventriloquism puppet. To cope, he develops a delusion that the puppet is the REAL him, and his human body is the puppet he's controlling. In this theory, I think Matthias damaged his own eye as a form of self-mutilation. Children tend to treat their dolls in a way that mirrors their sense of self-worth. Matthias developed such low self worth that he needed to become the more valued puppet to survive. As a result, the puppet is kept in pristine "health," and Matthias treats his real body--the "doll"--accordingly. With this one, the fire may have occurred before Matthias had fully accepted this delusion and was still fighting against projecting himself onto the puppet. OR, he set the fire to "rescue himself" from a life on the stage. The ending shots with the puppet and Matthias switching places in the box represent him switching which body he identifies as his real one.

The puppet is a surrogate for a deceased sibling/twin. This part hinges on the fact that the doll looks like Matthias but has a different name, "Louis." In this case, Matthias may have caused the fire when he was much younger. His sibling did not survive, and maybe his parents didn't either, and so he's stuck with survivor's guilt and a delusion about keeping his sibling "alive" through this puppet. For this theory, any camera shots of Matthias with two eyes is actually meant to be his sibling (Matthias lost an eye in the accident), and the shot of him setting fire to the puppet is just symbolism for Matthias accidentally causing the death of his sibling when they were younger. This would also explain the symbolism of the puppet being kept in a coffin-like box, and Matthias being in one at the end--he feels like he should be the one who died. The dates flashing at the end of the trailer may be specifically chosen because they have some significance to his sibling, rather than at random to show the passing of time.

Matthias believes the puppet is evil/possessed and is in some way forcing him to do bad things. (This one would likely make him a nod to Chucky in Child's Play, as he was recently added to Dead by Daylight.) The trailer really tries to set it up that Matthias is being tormented by this living doll in some way, but as far as the actual canon goes, netease is rarely that upfront with eldrich and paranormal events. So I think it's unlikely that the puppet is actually alive or conscious in anyway, and instead this is all caused by Matthias's own mind. In this case, he has auditory hallucinations of the puppet speaking to him. His hallucinations are reinforced by his father's ventriloquism, so Matthias is even more vulnerable to the delusion that this puppet is conscious. Maybe he set the fire because it told him to, or because he wanted so desperately to be rid of the puppet that he didn't consider the method and the casualties it would result in. Either way, both he and the puppet survived, but only one of them was unscathed.

As far as his gameplay goes, it's hard to guess what he'll be able to do without being too close to Mechanic or Journalist. But I think it would be neat if he and the puppet existed on the map at the same time, with the exact same stats, but only one can be controlled at a time, similar to the mechanic's doll. BUT as a Hunter, they both look exactly the same, and you only know which one is the puppet when you chair them because it either falls apart or launches immediately. Maybe the puppet and Matthias have to stay within a certain range of one another too?

[silicondelphi]

Welcome to Silicon Delphi

300 years after an information apocalypse, mankind and technology live in strange symbiosis. The ancient internet has spread into everything which uses electricity and is governed by AI gods who long ago outmatched their human progenitors. For the most part they seem content to watch, the truly powerful among them sinking deep into the Electric Divine, where they have mostly been forgotten. The little gods, jumbles of old code and knowledge, drift at the surface where they wait eagerly for human oracles to give them voices. People bring their offerings to temples and hidden back alleys where an oracle may connect and find their question’s answer, send a message far away, bring them distant news, among other things. But something is stirring in the deep Divine Electric and it’s ready to be heard at last. Many of them are.

Matthias fled his home in hope of a life worth living. It’s not been easy scraping by on the streets, hoarding everything he can for the day he can pay a street surgeon to put him to rights in his own skin. At least he has friends and what seems like quite good luck, even a starting point to being famous someday. When his street oracle friend delivers a message from her mysterious god, Matthias must face the true price of legacy at a turning point in history.

What would you give to be remembered?

FAQ

What is this?

A side blog for an existential story I @razzek have been building for years. Not sure how much I’ll post here but I’ll see how things go. It’s a story about disability, existential dread, found family, and a world that (at least sometimes) reveres queerness, all wrapped up in a sort of cyberpunk package.

Trigger warnings?

This work is for adults (though I won’t be posting the more salacious details here). If deals with disability, queerness, surgeries, themes of entrapment, secular spirituality, murder, violence, metaphorical drug use, addiction, hallucinations, body horror, depression, existential dread, religious themes, and trauma. (I’ll add more if I missed any.) If you don’t like the word queer you probably won’t have a good time here (and will be blocked upon any complaints about it). I’m old, I’m proudly queer, and I don’t have time for that divisive, hateful nonsense.

Who are you?

I’m @razzek a blind, trans, queer artist/writer who’s been freelancing for individuals and charities for almost 20 years. You can see more of my art at @razzekart or on Instagram and more writing on AO3. If you like my work you can support me on Patreon and Ko-fi or buy a commission.

Why is this furry?

Easier for me to draw this way. :D You can pretend everyone is human if you like, they certainly all were when this started. Technically they’re all human on a genetic level (what is a furry if not a fancy human? :D). This was never meant to be a furry story with the themes usually associated to that genre so I don’t really dwell on those aspects.

What inspired this?

I was thinking about the trans and nonbinary oracles of ancient Greece and other cultures who considered people like me to be closer to the gods. How nice must it have been to not be hated by people who know nothing about you? Then I completely misunderstood the writing theme for an erotica zine and wrote a few thousand words I couldn’t submit but really enjoyed about a futuristic trans oracle and his hot bodyguard /assistant. I rewrote the piece from the oracle’s point of view and discovered that Matthias has A Lot to say. Sprinkle in some Neuromancer and my favorite theme of writing about being blind with characters who aren’t themselves blind and voila! It’s been years, I can’t get it out of my head. ;_; XD

Does SD have any theme songs?

“DNA (The Keys)” by Walk the Moon

“Only Human” by Philip Ayers

[orrianreaper]

9 & 13 for all of them, and 8 for pleur & sorrix!

Thank you so much for sending these!! I might have gotten a little wordy again asdfg but thank you so much! <3.

9). Was your commander ever aligned with any of the 'evil' groups?

No. With two mist-manders shaped technicalities. Cryssi has no memories, all they remember is being locked in a prison in the mists, escaping, and being led after Rytlock by what they later understand was Glint. So although they, and nobody around them, is aware of it, in life Cryssi was a Flame Shaman. A Searing Shaman. Their crystal magic, especially pre-ascension, is reminiscent of searing crystals if you know what you're looking for. Post Aurene and their own Ascension this is far less evident, but it does still give Effram a moment of pause, to squint at the familiarity he can't quite place. Cryssi has no awareness of this past, and it's quite evident whatever personality they had in that life is definitely not the same as the one they have now. Demon can also perhaps get an honourable mention here! Demon is, only really half demon. A demon and a human squished together into one inseparable being, by a ritual gone wrong a very very long time ago. The demon half of Cryssi is technically a Morganite, one of Abbadon's followers from gw1. They're a weird case, half being still a worshipper of Abbadon but in a strange way. They worship what he was, the orginal god of water and secrets, as opposed to what he became. Demon has a lot of water themeing, alongside their obviously mystery, and it all springs from that old Abbadon connection. It's clearly complicated, but above all they do care for Tyria and it's protection.

13). Who did your commander see in the Gyala Delve Hallucination?

It's been a while since i touched Gyala, so this is rough and not super detailed. Pleur - Trahearne, Forgal, and the one that actually gets her is still Almorra. The other two she's had used to try upset her before, Almorra is still much fresher. Sorrix - Likely still sees Almorra, possibly Blish. I'm not quite sure what would break him, but Taimi's screams just like in s4 would be a solid choice. Matthia - Ryland. Though I'm not sure if they're commander at this point, so if it's Damianos instead? Balthazar, and a boy he knew back as young man in Ebonhawke, who was killed by the charr. I'll be honest, I'm really unsure what Cryssi might see, beyond there not being Eir because they never knew her.

8). Is your commander's relationship to Aurene parental, sibling, or something else?

Pleur is very much in a Big Sister sort of role towards Aurene. She's so young herself, and she sees so much of herself in her. Something so young, crafted for a specific role, something so big and important the very world hinges on it, and everyone is expecting and needing so much of you, and you need to live up to it and you want to because you love the world, just like your mother wanted you to. But everything is so very heavy. Pleur wants to keep Aurene from having to fight for as long as possible, and she feels like she fails and that Aurene never really got a chance to be a child, just like she never really got a chance to be a sapling. She even apologises to Aurene before she goes to sleep, that she couldn't give her more time. Aurene just tells her she had more time than she had, that's she's grateful. She projects quite a lot onto Aurene, but she loves her so deeply. Aurene is life, the rebirth of the cycle, and Pleur is death, the end of it. They're intertwined, built to help keep the balance.

Sorrix is her Dad. Father, capitalised. He keeps her baby photos in his wallet. He taught her asura sciences despite the exalted trying to say it was unnecessary, what is unnecessary was their distraction we have Physics to learn thank you. He adores her, she's his baby and she always will be. He's delighted by her always and forever, and yes, he'll always bring her fish.

[advanced-imbecile-art]

honestly just do the whole thing for elias >:3c

Allrighty, you asked for this. Here's the whole thing for Courier Elias.

🌸- What's this oc's favorite and least favorite color?

Likes yellow, dislikes gray/silver

🌹- What's this oc's biggest fear

Other than fears acquired from being shot in the head and buried alive, he's afraid of being alone. Of not having friends.

🌷- How does this oc take their coffee?

At least some sugar if he can find it. Otherwise, black is acceptable.

🌻- What's this oc's mental health state?

Not good! He regularly hallucinates the night he was shot in the head and other strange things. On top of that, the chronic pain he has from being shot in the head wears on him, leading to Med-X addiction. And he gets a Dear John letter post New Vegas from Arcade because he just... can't stop being a Courier and won't settle down, so he's fragile about having been broken up with.

🌼- What's your favorite thing about this oc?

He's an awkward friendly guy who looks scary.

🌺- Which family member(if any) is this oc closest to?

His elder half-brother, Matthias. There's a lot of messy things going on in the Ables family, but at least he had the grace to recognize Elias was a blameless child and treated him kindly.

💐- Where is this oc's favorite place to relax?

Can't think of any place he'd strongly prefer. So long as there's water and something to block the Mojave heat out, he's good. Bonus points if there's friends around.

🌱- Does this oc have any pets? Do they have any pets they want?

Does ED-E count as a pet? He keeps ED-E.

🌲- What is this oc's greatest strength and weakness?

He's a very kind forgiving person and he's a very kind forgiving person. Elias, do NOT release Benny. He is just gonna come try and kill you and reclaim his plan.

🌵- How does this oc feel about physical affection?

Doesn't dislike it, but doesn't really 'get' it. Has to be in a particular mood to be enthusiastic about it, but otherwise generally tries not to touch people and gets stiff and awkward about being touched.

🌴- Who is this oc's favorite person?(Can be another oc, a fictional character, a celebrity, anyone)

He loooooooooves Arcade Ganon. Too bad he self-sabotages that.

☘- Does this oc have any piercings? Do they want any?

None. He figures his body has had enough holes put in it.

🍁- What's this oc's favorite genre of movies/tv shows/books/etc?

Not much of that around in the Wasteland. Probably likes the Silver Shroud well enough tho.

🌾- How does this oc get along with people they just met?

He tries, though first impressions are usually rough since he looks scary and is rather blunt.

🍀- Around when does this oc get up in the morning?

Early as he can manage. Have to capitalize on the few cool hours of the day that there are in the Mojave.

🍂- What music does this oc like?

If Mr. New Vegas is playing it, he's listening to it. He likes all that country stuff and misses it whenever he goes out of range of the New Vegas signal.

🌳- Does this oc collect anything?

Hard to be a collector when you have to travel light. But he does keep a small collection of letters that have been sent to him.

☀️- Does this oc make good or bad first impressions?

Bad. He makes too much eye contact, hardly blinks, skips pleasantries to talk immediately about whatever he needs from you, and will not stop itching his scars.

🌙- Does this oc have any unusual hobbies?

Being a mailman is basically his hobby? He's a weird little guy and wanted to be one since he was little.

🌟- Is this oc good at expressing themself through words or do they have to use other means?

He's just gotta hope whoever he's talking to has the patience to listen while he struggles to think of things more complex than "need food and water."

🌈- What does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

He enjoys that even though he's not what one might say classically intelligent, he can fix and robot, gun, or engine better than most. It didn't bother him at first, but after meeting people who genuinely liked him and a place he might've belonged, it upsets him that he can't seem to get himself to stay in one spot for very long.

❄- What is this oc's favorite and least favorite food?

He likes a nice Sunset Sarsaparilla and a good brahmin stew. Miss him with most of the bug meats though. He just can't manage that texture.

☁️- What is this oc's clothing style like?

More layers than you might expect. In a desert, it's important to keep the sun off your skin.

⚡- How well does this oc sleep?

Poorly. His head hurts all the damn time, his scars itch, and half the time he's gonna have a nightmare about getting shot in the head, suffocating on dirt, or some other wild vision that'll have him twitching throughout the night.

💧- What is this oc most passionate about?

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" This man is so passionate about delivering mail.

🍃- Describe this oc in one word

Dedicated

[insignificant457]

Forever pissed off that they killed heleen offscreen, gave Inej no reaction to it, and refuse to actually say what she was forced to do at the menagerie

[miabrown007]

*screams into a stuffed animal*

[theaologies]

I can’t believe Hayley Williams wrote First Thing to Go about Nina in King of Scars... please don’t talk to me, I’m still grieving

[capinejghafa]

This is also kind of inspired by the asked I got, but also I'm rewatching the final kanej scene (again) lol

It's sort of weird to expect Kaz to continue to try if Inej doesn't try as well. And it's not as if either one are completely blameless. Like for all the faults that Kaz has, Inej is also very bad at telling Kaz what she wants.

This is also something I noticed but it's starting to feel like Kaz is the one who messed up in the final kanej scene. Like Inej is like be honest! And he is. He's like I want you to be at the EP! And she's not. The one time where his armor is completely gone and she's not there.

Kaz has also done the following: actually tells the Crows his plans, helps Nina see Matthias, acknowledges Jesper as his brother, recruits Wylan and making sure he eats a proper meal (and gets a boyfriend), made sure Matthias (a stranger) wasn't put in the fighting pit... and on top of all that helped a whole other country to prevent the world from going to shit.

I probably missed some things, and this is just a silly little show... and we are dealing with a much more mature Kaz than in the books. But what else is he supposed to do? He's not even 100% bad a feelings, he's not great at it (he was raised in the barrel). Also, the touch aversion is not his fault. I really wish that wasn't used against him.

But Inej... Inej's trauma that runs so deep that she had a whole dream about touched and then lied about it, whose trauma is so fresh that when Jesper asked last season, she just gave him this look of pure horror. Inej, who expects so much of Kaz and for him to be open, will shut down just as easily.

Inej is a brave and lovely character, but she is so deeply flawed. She is so deeply traumatized, and one thing I give the show credit for is Inej's struggles are very much internal (bc that's very much book canon btw). That's why her hallucinations were about touch (and Kaz). She's not ready for what comes with a relationship, and Kaz was. Kaz could of told her he loved her and she would of still left.

tl;dr inej is bad at feelings too

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I recently mentioned that I had a fic idea about Helnik and I had a teeny bit of interest in it, so I was thinking about sharing it with you guys. However, I have never written fanfiction before and this isn’t a project that I’ve already done it’s just something I’ve been thinking about so I want to test the water and see if you guys would enjoy it if I properly planned something out and shared it on here. So basically I’ve written a little sample to see what you guys think, and if this post does well then I’ll start looking into getting something properly together! Hope you enjoy :)

@real-fragments7

Concept: Post-Crooked Kingdom Nina has returned to Ravka before moving on to Fjerda. Her powers are causing her to have frequent, uncontrollable visual and auditory hallucinations of Matthias and because of this combined with her general grieving state, Genya and Zoya don’t think is safe to let her go to Fjerda.

Sample:

Someone had left the blinds open. Sunlight was leaking through the panes, dancing impatiently across Nina’s eyelids as they slowly forced her awake. She groaned, still heavy from her dream, and threw an arm over her face to hide from the light.

On the other side of the bed, someone laughed softly.

“This might be the earliest I’ve seen you wake up,”

“Well if you’re awake already then can you close the damn curtains? At least one of us should sleep to a reasonable hour,”

“And you call yourself a soldier,”

Nina groaned again, rolling away from Matthias to bury her face in her pillow.

She had to admit, it was a good feeling to wake up with him - even if it was at dawn and she’d rather still be sleeping. She’d been having a strange dream, mind, but she couldn’t quite remember what it was. Yet she knew she wanted to fall back to sleep with a very different dream.

“What time is it?” she mumbled into the cushions.

“A little after seven bells,”

“Saints, how disgusting,”

Nina sighed, in a mixture of content and tiredness. The luxury of the Little Palace was a mostly welcome change from crawling in next to Matthias in the tomb at Black Veil - or even of the hotel room at the Geldrenner. They’d shared a sofa, so close to each other; limbs entangled, his chest against her back so she could feel his heart beating. A steady rhythm, no matter what he was feeling. The big bed here was more comfortable, but the closeness felt like an aching absence, as though the few feet between them spanned for miles. She reached out behind her and found something soft that she decided was his arm.

“Come closer,” she whispered, and she imagined the way he’d smile.

He would press her fingers to his lips and she would roll over to face him. She’d reach out and touch his cheek, and he would catch her hands in his.

“Witch,”

“Barbarian,”

“Little red bird,” he would say, just before his lips met hers.

The sunlight would be warm and soft on their skin as they moved closer, as she felt his heart beating beneath her fingers.

But he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t come closer, or kissed her fingers, or touched his brushed his lips against hers. He had not gently pushed her hand down towards his wrist so their fingers could entwine.

“Matthias?”

Nina made the mistake of rolling over, and began to scream.

Nina scrambled backwards and tumbled off the edge of the empty bed, feeling the tears sting. She didn’t remember when she’d started to cry. The sunlight pierced her like daggers protruding from her skin, glinting amongst the sheets and mocking her with their blank folds. Matthias was, of course, not there. The memory of Nina’s dream hit her with full force.

It had not, of course, been a dream. And yet this was still a nightmare.

“Genya!” she screamed, because she could not be alone, she refused to be alone, the room could not remain empty, “Genya it happened again!”

She could not stop. She could not stop the winds that felt like touch, the sounds that felt like a voice, the distortion that felt like sight. She could not control when they came or when they went, and she could not control the mess she seemed to become in their absence. In his absence.

She was numbly aware of Genya’s hands on her arms, brushing her hair from her face, coaxing her off the floor. At some point she realised she was no longer in her room, but in someone’s office. Zoya’s office. Still in her night things.

Nina, that is, not Zoya. Zoya looked to have long been awake, her immaculate oil black hair and flawless skin existing to outshine Nina’s bed hair and unwashed face. The general stood in front of her desk, talking to Genya in hushed and harried tones. Nina did not know why they bothered to whisper; she hardly understood a word they said.

[biherbalwitch]

Unsurprisingly, I'm not done talking about s&b s2, let's discuss the rage over "ignoring" inej's trauma (spoiler: it wasn't actually ignored) and why exploring it in the poison scene would've been a terrible idea

Inej’s story was hinted at several times (which is more than we've got with other characters in 2 seasons *cough* jesper *cough* matthias)

They did it in bits & pieces as much as they could, in s1 Inej almost willing to kill just so she doesn’t go back to the menagerie, in her telling jesper she learned to suture her own wounds there. In s2, we see those pieces hammered in a bit more, Inej’s scared when she says pekka owns everything the menagerie owns. The most difficult scene to watch being the one on the roof with the taxidermist. The second he puts her on the ground and gets on top of her she is frozen. She looks TERRIFIED. And I'm gonna quote amita here, we know inej's capable of getting out of his hold easily but the shock of being in that position with a man violating her space & body again, telling her he'll take her back to the menagerie and "take a piece" is enough to have her body lock up and she's almost helpless in the face of her ptsd (paralleling to Kaz’s reaction in shu han)

If the writers had used the poison hallucinations to go further into her backstory, it would've simply been too rushed and an insult to the depths of torture she went through. Think of the length of that entire scene & think of the length each of their visions got. I can't see how they could've delved deeper with her, put her in those silks, without coming up short or without completely ruining her mental state that it would've been difficult to move on with the current plot at hand. There's a reason the spinoff script has a whole episode dedicated to each crow, where they can comfortably explore the heavier themes of each of their lives with respect & what it means for the characters' journey.

Lastly I'd like to say the actual hallucination we got MADE SENSE. After their moment changing her wound and Kaz pushing her away, she would dream of this. She desires intimacy with Kaz. In her dream, he makes an effort. In her dream, he asks for her consent. In her dream, they are BOTH vulnerable, both without their armour.

Despite the trauma she still desires and that's an important part of her that shouldn't be overlooked. She's making an effort and wants him to make an effort, if only just to find out what it would be like to be touched without it feeling like a stab. If only to find out if she can handle it.