#or needing a csection

[unfamiliar-ghostly-system]

No younglings are coming from me.

stealing this poll because the original used transphobic language

*Whether or not you can get pregnant.

[exocbxmp3]

if pregnancy and birth sounds so abhorrent to you that the only way you could feasibly do it is by getting paid obscene amounts of money and getting a ~nice and easy c-section~ you'll be shocked to know that it's literally a major abdominal surgery that cuts through 7 layers of your body that you're completely awake for and feel every part of sans some numbing tho js

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 55

Warnings: non/dubcon, child endangerment, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, Andy is nasty in this, violence, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You've done this before. Waiting out a man. Biding your time. Before, you didn't realise it. You just did it.

With Colin, you just went through the motions, waiting for something, anything to change. With Lloyd, it was waiting for the next combustion, the final one that would send it all spiraling.

Now, you're just waiting on yourself. Because now you know it's up to you. It always has been. You were just too stupid, lazy, and blind to see it.

So you do what you have to. That's nothing new. That's the easy part. Luna is the only one keeping you going and you know, you're the only one to keep her going.

When she cries, you go to her. You're no longer play the part, distracting yourself with your own motherhood, trying to get through the day. No, you want to be there for her, you want to comfort her. And in turn, as small and innocent as she is, she does the same for you.

And when Andy needs you, you bite down and get through it. Another familiarity. When he touches you, when he kisses you, when he says those disgusting things. Clawing, pawing at your chest, sucking and biting at your body like and animal, rutting with desperation until he's breathless. He thinks the noises you make are just as delighted as his own. You let him believe it, just like you let him believe this little makeshift domesticity is real.

Until the moment comes. Until you will keep that promise to yourself. To her.

You sit in the rocking chair, Luna on your chest, peaceful in his absence. You don't know why he left, you're just happy he did. It's a moment to rest, for you and your daughter.

She's getting bigger. Four or five months now, you think. Things change so fast yet move so slow.

As you let your eyes close, there's a thump at the door. The locks grinds back noisily as the baby stirs against you. You huff and try to get her to fall back asleep as Andy enters. He leaves more often these days but not for very long

"Shhh, she's asleep," you warn him, watching her eyes slit, she's almost there.

He shoots you a look as you peer up at him but doesn't say anything. You tisk. You know what he wants. You stand carefully and take Luna to her crib as you hear him pacing around behind you.

"I don't what I'd do if I didn't have you, honey," he rambles, "I just... the world's a crazy place."

He's telling you, you hide your disgust at his lack of self-awareness as you lay Luna down.

"It's going to be okay though, we're going to be okay," he rants on as you face him. He has his shirt halfway up his torso, "aren't we?"

"Sure," you answer.

"I just..." he rips his shirt over his head, "I need you so bad right now."

You nod and come forward, forcing a curve to your lips. He's as easy as any other man, just a little less stable. It's funny to think so when you have Lloyd to compare. You put your hands on his chest as you approach him. You caress him, feeling the soft hair beneath your fingertips as the tension uncoils from his shoulders. He puts his hands on your hips and steps closer.

"Are you full?" He asks.

You look at him, he's staring at your chest. Your stomach churns. Your tits are close to ready, just in time for Luna to wake, but he only cares about himself. You don't answer as he feels along the belt of the robe and unknots it. He pushes it open and dips his head down, kissing your chest as he growls.

He angles you towards the bed. You zone out as you let him and fall back beneath him. He puts his lips around your nipple and you cry out as he sucks. You hate that feeling, you hate the noises he makes, moaning like a pathetic little beast. He squeezes your tit as he keeps his mouth sealed around the bud. You grit your teeth and focus on breathing.

He shifts to put his knees between yours, pushing them apart so you're open to him. Without lifting his head, he picks at the front of his jeans, shimmying them down as his need builds. He dribbles down your chest as he parts and sits up on his knees. He pulls your legs over his and strokes himself, pressing his tip to your cunt impatiently.

You're dry as he rams insides. He grunts and holds himself deep, the tendons in his neck taut as he grips your hip, his other hand groping your chest meanly. He ruts, slamming into you as hard as he can. There's no precursor left. He doesn't pretend. He takes what he wants and you don't stop him. He accepts your complacency as love.

The bed shakes, the frame hitting the wall, bang, bang, bang. The noise hammers away at your soul and the silence. You hear Luna murmur, babbling as she awakens. She doesn't cry even as you want to. She's just a baby. She shouldn't be here. He shouldn't do this with her right there. Only the bars of a crib to protect her.

You put your hand on his wrist and the other on his stomach. You need him to be done.

"That's it," you growl through your teeth, "harder."

He obeys easily. You swallow down your whimpers as his hips crack against you. He's almost there. You can feel it.

"Come on, honey, give me it," you squeeze his wrist tighter and grunt.

"Oh yeah, you want it," he growls, "you want me to give you another baby?"

You can't help but choke. He doesn't notice as he dips his hips into you, looking down to watch his motion. You curl your lips in repulsion. Just get it over with.

"Yes," you gulp out, "yes, give me... your baby."

Your mouth is bitter as bile rises in your throat. He groans, louder and louder, and falls over you, his hips rolling frantically as he chases his release. He buries his face in your neck.

"You wanna be a mommy again," he rasps, "be a good mommy, mmm--"

He grunts and snaps his pelvis, once, twice, three times, then quakes as you feel him spill into you. You hold your breath as your eyes tinge. He slides his arms around you, inside the open robe as he pants. He clings to you, pushing himself as deep as he can get.

"I can't wait to be a daddy," he purrs.

"Mhmm," you rub his shoulders, "I know, honey."

He doesn't move, even as Luna begins to fuss. Your chest begins to thrum as she cries and you pat Andy.

"Please, she needs to eat."

"Mmmm," he drags a hand up as he leans on one elbow, fondling your tit again, "I want a little more."

"Andy, honey, please," you plead, "she won't have much."

He snarls and pouts as Luna cries loudly. He jams himself into you so you whimper and slides out roughly. He bounces off of you and sits at the end of the bed. He stretches his neck and flicks you away with his fingers.

"Fine, go ahead," he sneers, "but after, you can get on your knees and give me a suck."

You shudder and sit up. You glare at the back of his head. You could bash it in but you know you're not strong enough.

"Yes, honey," you turn your legs over the side of the bed and stand. You try not to wretch as a gush flows down your thigh.

You close your robe and tie the belt, crossing to the crib as Luna wails. Your hands linger on the thick belt. You pull them away before your thoughts can stray. You take Luna out of the crib and put her to feed. Andy stands and strips off his jeans and briefs.

You walk around as you feed Luna, when she calms, you cover your chest again and keep her in your arms. Andy huffs as he plays with himself in the bed. His impatience strikes another flash of anger in you. The belt of the robe cinches you tightly as you shift your daughter in your arms. You whisper to her and lay her down again, handing her one of her crinkle toys.

You back away and pull the curtain across the space between the bed and her little nursery. You turn to Andy and shake away your agitation. You put a knee up on the bed and lick your lips.

"My turn?" You ask as you crawl over to him, grabbing his half-flaccid dick.

He nods excitedly and you feel him twitch in your grasp. You move between his legs and tease him, hovering your lips just above his tip. You look up at him with a smirk. You're done waiting.

🍑

This, you haven't done before.

You sit against the bedframe in the dark. It's quiet and still. Eerie even.

It is the isolation, it's not the prison cell built to look like a home, no it's what needs to be done. What you're going to do.

Luna sleeps soundly in her crib, only just dozing after another bout of frustration. And beside you, another infantile creature, snoring to his content. The taste of his salty flesh sickening on your tongue.

You inhale deeply and let it out as you feel along the fabric of your terry robe. Slowly you tug the belt from the loops, inch by inch. Your chest coils tightly as it comes free and you hold the lax fabric in your hands. You stare at it in the small glow of the nightlight plugged in only a few feet from the bed.

You're jittery as you wind each end around your hands, yet numb as you push away all your thoughts. This isn't a time for doubt. You're done letting that hold you back. You pull the belt taught between your hands. It's innocuous at first glance, probably why he never even thought to remove it from the robe. To him, it was a simple knot he pulled to get what he wanted. To you, it's freedom.

You glance over at him, his shoulders broad, moving slightly with each breath. You pull the belt to full tension. You have one chance, you have to make it count. For more than yourself.

You get on your knees and edge towards his back. You raise your hands and hover them over him, shaking as you build the nerve. This isn't just as simple as tying your shoes, this is... life and death. Yours, his, Luna's.

You swoop the belt down and pull it tight around his neck. He grunts and twitches away. You quickly knee him onto his stomach and straddle his back, bringing your weight down on him.

You twist the belt around itself and pull, pull, pull. He chokes and spasms, pushing himself up. You can't stop him, he's too strong. You hook your legs around him instead, staying latched on as he gasp and claws at his neck.

He falls onto you, knocking the air out of you, but you don't stop. The heat flowing through you keeps you fighting. He rocks atop of you, writhing and kicking, reaching back blindly as he scratches down your face. You won't let go. You can't. You've come this far there's no going back.

It goes on for what feels like eternity. He just won't stop. You twist the belt tighter and tighter, the gagging battle for his life souring your stomach. Then he's still. All once, it's over and he lays limp atop you. You don't loosen the belt until you're certain he's entirely still.

You drag yourself from under him, watching him as you think he might come to life at any moment. He doesn't move. Is he dead? Did you do it?

Even if he isn't, it's a chance. This is your escape. This is it.

[loveletters2myself]

how did you overcome or deal with any fears you might’ve had about pregnancy/birth? i so deeply want my own family one day, but that aspect of it definitely scares me and makes me wonder sometimes if i could handle it!

in all honesty, i didn’t really fear anything about pregnancy. despite having two hard pregnancies, especially with my daughter, i really loved being pregnant and overall it was quite straightforward (no complications). i had a lot of trust in my OB, she was amazing. i asked all the questions, and with every answer, she always put me at ease. i think the second time, knowing it was a csection and knowing i had my daughter at home, i did have some anxiety of something possibly going wrong. but again, my OB always kept me at ease. my nurses both times were absolute angels, which i’m extremely grateful for considering the stories i’ve heard. my husband is always the best at keeping me calm, motivating and supporting my every need/want. it helps a lot having a good medical team and support system! being a very good communicator with your medical team and your partner. doing your research. choosing a doctor you feel comfortable with. putting trust in your body that it was meant for this. and keeping an open mind and staying calm of things possibly changing unexpectedly — especially when it comes to birth plans.

[catoswound]

everytime i make a post like "i need that man aborting his child via botched csection" there's always someone (from the minority of my followers who are f1 fans) that will go #yassss #carlossainz but u know what. i respect that.

[the-fiction-witch]

It's Not Fair...

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sad

Warning Labour and Csection

I finished up with surgery heading back into the prep room slipping off my apron and hanging it up on the hook before I walked across the room washing my hands in the small basin. As I dried my hands I heard the prep room door open I glanced over expecting to see Hetty or perhaps Sneed but the moment my eyes met her I smiled so widely. There she stood, dressed for the day in her little blue slippers, white cotton stockings, her long white cotton dress, her deep blue dress coat with many pleats and buttons down her chest but even so she couldn't do all the buttons up as it was impossible to do up over her swollen stomach leaving her white dress exposed, her sweet Y/H/C hair in a little braid down her back and her Y/E/C eyes meeting me with a gentle tired smile.

I wanted to cry she looked so cute!

"Look at you," I cooed, "You look like you're about to pop."

"I feel like I'm about to pop." she chuckled,

"Come here," I smiled taking her into my arms and stroking her stomach, "You look so beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, captivating, the most ravishing lady in the world,"

"You're just overexcited." she smiled,

"Of course, I'm excited to finally meet our little one."

"I think you just like seeing me pregnant,"

"Humm I admit, I do... enjoy the sight of you like this." I smirked, "Oh your swollen womb pushing out your stomach and stretching your skin, as you carry our little baby, feeling our little one growing and developing." I smiled stroking her baby bump and feeling the kicks, "Aww he's kicking?!"

"Kicking away again must be happy to see his daddy,"

"Well, daddy's very happy to see him and mummy too," I smiled giving her baby bump a bunch of little kisses, "How are you feeling?"

"Large. Swollen. In pain." she complained,

"I know Y/n, I know. But it won't be long till our baby comes." I smiled, "I am having the nurses sort my old room upstairs so you and I can start staying here,"

"I don't want to stay here Jack, I want to be home. In our little house, our little bed, so we can cuddle up by the fire while we wait for our little one."

"I know, I know that's what you want, and I want you to be home cosy in our bed too. But it's not safe. You go into labour while I'm here by the time someone gets to me and I get to you so much could have gone wrong." I explained, "I can't leave you on your own when you're this far along,"

"So I have to be shoved in an attic," she pouts,

"Well, you can have my old room? or you can have a hospital room? You need to be here where I can check up on you, where I can keep an eye on you, and where I can be close to take care of you Y/n,"

"Alright..." She slightly whined, "So long as it's best for baby."

"Well, I want it to be best for you too. for you and for baby." I kissed her sweet little forehead,

I turned over and sat myself up hearing my back crack and click as I did, I wasn't used to this bed again. I had learnt to become far used to our big cosy bed at home, and now back in my old bed, I wasn't getting much sleep. Didn't help I constantly put my hand on Y/n's stomach making sure everything was as it should have been. And she had been kicking me out of bed. Not on purpose, she's just grouchy from being pregnant and not being very comfortable in the bed either. I don't mind, if she has to push me off and kick me onto the floor so she and baby can be comfy, I'll happily sleep on the floor. Honestly, the floor might be more comfortable than trying to share a single old hospital bed with my pregnant wife. But I got up and got some clothes on as quietly as I could, and once dressed I knelt on the bed beside Y/n and stroked her beautiful Y/H/C hair running my hand down her pale skin in her white cotton nightgown. I stroked across her bump feeling tentative so as not to wake her her bump had dropped in the night, and it wouldn't be long a few days at most until her labour began. I didn't bear to wake her, let her rest while she still could. I kissed her bump softly right around where the baby's head lies, and then kissed her own forehead inhaling the scent of her Y/H/C hair before I pulled back. I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay and comfort her in my arms, but I knew there was so much work to do. So I climbed out of bed and moved silently out the door leaving the door open a crack to not risk the sound waking her, and in case she needed anything nurses would be able to hear her.

I headed around the hospital on my rounds when I saw Hetty rush over clearly something was wrong by the panic on her face and the speed she approached, I assumed something had fucked up with that damn Hernia patient in room four but she said one word. That made my blood run cold.

"Y/n."

I didn't ask questions, I dropped everything and bolted through the hospital like a creature possessed, up the stairs and into my old room to find one of the nurses holding her hand and dabbing her head with a damp cloth as she screamed in pain holding her stomach. I rushed to her side and took her hand checking her stomach and under her nightgown, Yep. She's in labour pretty deep in labour actually.

"How long."

"We don't-"

"How long has she been like this!"

"She began complaining of pain at ten o'clock, we thought it best to call you up now." Hetty nodded,

"Now... It's bloody half past three! Five hours and not ONCE did you think to come and tell me my wife is in LABOUR!" I yelled, "Y/n, darling are you okay?" I began but she grabbed me by the waistcoat and screamed into my face before collapsing onto the pillow again, "Fair enough." I nodded,

It was torture to hear her violent screams and see her body contort so much that I had to hold her down, It was utter agony to watch the woman I love in such pain, knowing there was nothing I could do to help her. We did everything possible to try and make her comfortable, or as comfortable as you can be with a baby coming out of you. But... we kept hitting dead ends. The moments felt like hours of trial and error but nothing seemed to be working, she was in labour deep in labour hours in at this point but... the baby just didn't move. I kept checking and checking but never once felt the head, her water had broken, her body knew this was happening and she pushed exactly as she should have doing everything I could have asked of her no matter the pain she felt. But still, the baby didn't come.

I didn't want to think it possible, not now. Not her... Not our baby, not my wife. But... it was becoming increasingly obvious what was wrong. I gave it one more check moving my hand to fully examine her even if it hurt her, and hurt me too.

"No?" Hetty asked as I moved my hand away and quickly cleaned it,

"No. We're in a time crunch. Her body's gonna keep pushing until the baby comes out. But..."

"But?"

"But... the baby is stuck. Her cervix either hasn't opened wide enough or the baby's at an angle it can't get through... it's stuck inside her. and her body will rip her apart trying to force it out."

"Then what do we do?"

"Out. All of you." I demanded,

The room cleared leaving Y/n and I alone, I sat beside her cradled her in my arms and kissed her head as much as I could as she let tears slip down her face.

"what's wrong..." she squeaked out,

"Baby isn't coming... He's stuck. Won't come out."

"You never told me that could happen..."

"Cause I didn't think it would happen! Not to you..."

"what do you need to do Jack..." she whispered,

"I don't have much time. As it is with your water broken we're running on borrowed time." I told her, "If we leave it... baby will die and it'll take you with him."

"what can you do?"

"... I... I could open you up. cut you open remove the baby but..."

"But what?"

"Y/n I'd kill you. You'd die within the sheets before it was even done."

"But it would save the baby?"

"Please do not ask this of me."

"But would it save the baby Jack?"

"... it could."

"Then do it."

"You can't ask me to kill you. You can't ask me to trade your life for the baby."

"but if you don't... you will have nothing. If it claims both baby and I. You will be left in this world with nothing," She explained, "I trust you. I love you. I know you can do this, I wouldn't want anyone else in this world to do this. Save our baby... Please."

"And if I kill you? If I pay the ultimate price for our baby... and I lose you. You think I could ever live with the blood of the woman I love on my hands?"

"can you live with yourself if you don't?" she asked, "knowing to sit there and hold my hand into the next life, knowing you watched me and our baby die without even trying to save him."

"You are worth more to me than an unborn child. I would trade his life for you a hundred times, I would trade the life of everyone in Port victory if it meant I could have you... Y/n... my darling... Please... You can't ask me to kill you,"

"Jack...Please." she begged, "Save him. Please."

"This is what you want?" I whispered between tears and she nodded, "Okay..." I nodded as I kissed her lips, "I love you so much, Y/n,"

"I love you too Jack," she nodded,

"Please..." I told her as I moved and grabbed my tools, "Whatever happens... Forgive me my darling."

"I will I promise," she nodded,

I grit my teeth but called Hetty back in, with no time to move her down to the theatre I did what had to be done. I tried to block out her, as I cut open the woman I loved like she was nothing but a piece of meat, trying to imagine this was any woman but her. Often having to brush tears from my eyes getting her blood over my skin, before finally the baby was out I handed him off to Hetty without much of a word.

As horrible as it sounds, I couldn't be happy... I couldn't look at him, even think about our baby when Y/n was under my blade the moment the baby and afterbirth were out. I began to work fast and delicately trying my best to ensure she survived.

"Jack-" Hetty began trying to get my attention, but I ignored her and focused only on Y/n.

I worked until my hands and fingers were sore, just trying to make sure everything was as good as I could make it and when the final stitch was in I finally stopped.

"Jack..." Hetty spoke up and I turned to see her with the baby in her arms,

I felt so cold to see the baby in her arms, I almost didn't want to see it. I thought I could have just given up Y/n for the baby.

"It's a boy." She said,

"Is he alive..."

"Yes, alive. Healthy. Bigger than most... likely the cause of-"

"Okay." I nodded stopping her from speaking doing my best not to cry,

"Will you hold him?"

"...I - I-"

"Jack, Hold him." she said, "He's happy, he's healthy," She said as she handed me the little baby wrapped in a swaddle cloth, I held him in my arms looking down at his little face but I felt this horrendous guilt in my stomach, I felt... like all of this was my fault. I could have just killed her. I could have brought a baby into this world robbing him of a mother, I could have taken the woman I love from this world, even as I held him... I couldn't believe he was worth it. I felt like I was to blame, like... if I hadn't ever gotten her pregnant... none of this would have happened, "He looks like you," Hetty tried to comfort me, she was right... he looked like me.

"It's not fair..." I gasped fighting back the tears that slipped down my face, "It's not fair. he should look like her. He should look like the most beautiful woman in the world... not like me." I answered, "I can't." I began to panic so I handed the baby back to her and gripped the bed desperate to get my breath, "Is she breathing..." I asked, "Is she breathing!"

The nurse checked and nodded,

"Let her rest. As long as she needs..." I nodded, "You both can go." I told them,

The nurse nodded and left so I took her place sitting on the bed and holding Y/n's hand finger on her pulse and my other hand on her diaphragm to feel her every breath. Hetty lingered for a moment, she set the baby in the Moses basket and moved it beside the bed even if I couldn't bear to look at him.

"Jack... Look at your son," she demanded, but I didn't move. "Y/n would want you to look. She'd want you to hold him. To love him... You can't blame him, Jack,"

"I don't... I blame myself."

"Jack... Y/n is alive. Your baby is alive. That is not something to blame yourself for, it is something to celebrate and rejoice in. How often is it a mother and baby both survive a cestion?"

"It's not over yet... Not until she's healed. all it takes is a second and I could lose her."

"So savour every second you have with them both." She said before she left the room,

I did my best not to look at him even if he cried I just wanted to hold Y/n a little longer, but I couldn't take his crying so I picked him up and cradled him for a moment letting his cries fade.

"... I- I am sorry little guy, I know I should be giving you attention, you probably miss all my cuddles and kisses I promised you but... I- I am far too worried about your mother." I whispered, "If anything happens to her, please forgive me, little guy, I know I won't ever forgive myself."

"Must you be dramatic," Her voice croaked,

"Y/n!" I jumped turning to her letting tears flood down my face so overjoyed to see her little Y/E/C eyes open, "You're alright!"

"..alive... don't know about alright," she giggled, "Is he okay?"

"He's a happy, healthy little boy."

"...good," She smiled she offered her arms and I carefully handed our little boy over to her kissing her head as she held him,

"I was so afraid I'd lost you,"

"as was I... I thought I'd lost both of you." she whispered, "Thank you, Jack, I know it was hard."

"I don't care how hard it was. I only care you're alive. You and our baby."

"He's beautiful, so sweet, for all the trouble he caused,"

"Yeah... I think he might forever be a little troublemaker."

"Umm, our little troublemaker." she smiled, "Have you named him?"

"no, I wanted to wait to know you were okay,"

"...I think... little Simon,"

"Simon Dawkins? It's perfect my darling." I cooed giving her and him little kisses, "I-I love our little boy, our little Simon,"

"I love him too," she cooed,

"I love you so so much Y/n," I told her as I stroked her cheek,

"I love you too Jack" she smiled giving my lips a soft sweet kiss.

[tales-of-a-seahorse]

My OBGYN's office has 5 doctors that rotate hospital shifts. So they like pregnant patients to meet with all the doctors, just in case they're on at the hospital when it's go time. Last week, I met with one of the other doctors and I hope I do not go into labor when she is there. She makes me so uncomfortable. She was condescending and treated me like I didn't know what I was talking about- despite prefacing my statement with "I talked to [regular OB] about this last time". But apparently my request for different/stronger heartburn medicine is too dangerous (there are no studies that show negative impacts) and I should eat better and sleep propped up and just suffer because "you wouldn't want to do anything to harm the baby". And honestly, I don't know if she's like this in general or she's like this because I'm trans. When I met with her during my first pregnancy she was all weird because I'm trans. But either way, it seemed like she was trying to make me feel like I didn't know my own needs or that I shouldn't trust the opinion of my primary OB.

I already have my appointment next week scheduled with a doctor I've never met. But the next appointment I schedule is going to be with my OB. I need to know if there's a way to get someone I like and trust down to the hospital if the doctor I don't is catching that day. Especially if I end up needing to go in for an unplanned csection, she is not allowed to cut me open.

[isaacs-tomb]

most hated tboi item, and how would you change it?

3 dollar bill: Grants 2 random tear effects that change every 2-3 seconds. Sounds pretty good, but it is the wiz in fruit cake's clothing. Just remove Wiz.

I kind of got carried away so that is the TLDR. I'm hiding the rest of this under a cut. Long post alert

I absolutely despise 3 dollar bill because every time I see it I am naive enough to give it a second chance. It is so deceiving. I go, oh, random tears, this will be fun ! :D then I get hit with the wiz-ification beam in the worst room you have ever seen and die miserably because I can't fend off the 20 million spiders chasing me.

But doesn't that make the Wiz a worse item you say? No. I can tactfully take Wiz on the rare runs where it combos nicely with something else (tech 0, or since it's basically a 2x fire rate its good with homing which negates the downside, also genuinely AMAZING with csection) and leave it every other time. Same goes for all the other deliberately bad items. I can ignore them on the 99% of runs that they suck on. But 3 dollar bill isn't like that, it is worse because it is JUST good enough for me to pick it up despite the fact I know it will screw me over. I CAN'T ignore it when I see it. It always draws me back in. The next time I see it I will ignorantly pick it up, hesitating a little because I remember what happened last time, but stubbornly believe that just this once it'll be fine. But it won't be. It will always come back to bite me in the ass. It cunningly lies in wait; Waiting for THAT room to Wiz me and strip me of my foolish glory. 3 seconds of pure helplessness and it's all over. And on the runs where I get all the good synergies that negate the occasional Wiz of pain and suffering the upsides of this item dont even make that much of a difference overall. Its not even that good.

All it needs to be good is for the wiz effect to be removed from effect pool it pulls from. Please.

Also... I don't have nearly as many but I have some choice words for Odd Mushroom (thin) +1.7 tears. +0.3 speed. -0.4 damage. ×0.9 damage multiplier. It can quickly get you off to a powerful start at the beginning of a run but by the time you get to the end you've usually hit the tears cap several times over and are still getting tears up items, but that damage multiplier sticks around and it HURTS. I mostly hate it just because it shows up constantly and wastes space for what could have a good item because I never take it. Change the tears up to a fire rate up or multiplier, boom, fixed

I hate a lot of boring familiars and those lame mom themed stat ups (PLEASE I DON'T NEED RANGE), there are just too many and they saturate item pools. They don't need to be individually improved there just needs to be less of them. The issue isn't the items themselves it's just the number of them that is. Unless I'm playing Lilith in which case yes please give me brother bobby I'll gladly take him. But like seriously familiars take up a CRAZY amount of items. I also think there are a bit too many shitty active items for only being allowed to take one. If half of them vanished I wouldn't even notice because I end up with the same 10 objectively better actives at the end of all my runs. Especially when half the characters start with actives you aren't gonna drop for goddamn decap attack

As for items I don't know how to fix... Almond milk (soy is great) and pill baggy.

Almond milk is just. What. Good for tractor beam I guess? But otherwise none of those tears are hitting no matter what crazy other item you have. Not even homing can save it. A singular one item synergy isn't enough to call it good because you know you're not getting that specific item out of hundreds of others. I think getting good use out of this item just takes way too many lucky synergies for it to be good

As for pill baggy when is holding 2 pills ever worth it? Maybe bringing BOTH percs and drowsy into the same room would be really neat but I don't feel like pills are more worth it than cards. With phd or luck foot the only worthwhile stat ups are health and tears and it doesn't take long to hit the cap for either. Only synergies I can imagine that would be good with this item are libra or false PhD but that feels way too few to be worth it and you still get pills if you don't take pill baggy so even then I don't think it's worth losing out on good cards. Even being able to hold like 2 other kind of non pill pickups (runes or weird ones like cracked key or emergency contact) doesn't feel worth giving up cards.

I also feel like this is a good post to say a good chunk of planetarium items suck ass or are just not that great so the room in general is rarely worth skipping treasure rooms for. I think i only like a quarter of the items.

Honourable mentions:

Strange attractor. Makes everything unpredictable and I constantly mistake it for two items I like a lot more: magneto and lodestone. I keep dragging Vis' line of fire into me.

zodiac. only ever gives me Jupiter so I can't stand it.

Isaac's heart. It's Isaac's heart. If there's a good synergy it's either rare or has been patched. I'd like to try it with melee builds like the forgotten or tmaggy especially or spirit sword but I feel like when you back away the heart would go into the enemy anyways nullifying the damage you just avoided

I genuinely find it easier to defend funny bad items; they have very niche uses that can go incredibly hard

- The Wiz: see above, with homing it just acts as a 2x fire rate multiplier

- Curse of the tower: there are pretty obvious matchups like pyromaniac or host hat, this thing SHREDS rooms. But I had a tmaggy run with the blind rage trinket (doubles length of i-frames) every time I hugged I took damage, spawning them, and with the trinket in most cases I had JUST enough iframes to avoid the fallout. I think even without the trinket tmaggy is a pretty hilarious combo. I'm sorry to the online co-op lobby who experienced it second hand. Oh also this thing synergises with your bomb effects making it even more insane if you get a way to nullify the damage or can dodge well. But it still does suck a lot, it is a shame it shows up so often, it's annoying, but I guess that's kind of the point as with a lot of the "curse" items.

Other chaotic explosive stuff like kamikaze gets the pass for the same reasons.

- Cursed eye: pretty cool if you can negate the downside, so on lost runs since mantle breaks don't count or with black candle. Otherwise like with curse of the tower it's reroll fodder most of the time. But then when you get super high tears it actually ends up making your build worse, so still one of the shittiest of the shitty items. Actually I regret adding this paragraph this item does suck

I spent actual hours typing this what the hell. God I hate 3 dollar bill.

[partialbirthabortion]

I have a question about 3rd trimester abortions that I can’t find the answer to on Google!

When I had my baby, I had to be induced at 38 weeks for cholestasis. They tried multiple different induction methods for 36 hours, and my cervix barely ripened and I did not even kind of go into labor. I had misoprostol, cervidil, catheter balloon, and I got up to the max dose of pitocin. Eventually they gave me the option to keep trying or get a c-section. I happily opted for the c-section. My baby was never in distress and we were both 100% safe and healthy the entire time. It was a very non-emergent c-section.

I’m assuming part of why I couldn’t go into labor is that my body was in no way ready for it. The induction (and eventual c-section) was 100% medically indicated and things happened the way they needed to happen. No complaints here.

I guess I’m confused about why that wouldn’t happen during a late stage abortion. Does it happen? Are there people who never are able to go through cervical ripening or dilation? If an abortion is very late (I know someone who had to have one at like 37 weeks), doesn’t labor need to be induced? Can’t it just not happen? Does it ever not? Then what? Thank you!! :)

Hi there! I'm so happy to hear that you and your baby had a safe labor and birth experience, even with the failed induction attempts! I'm answering your question under a cut. To others: all the expected content warnings apply.

I think this is a super interesting and reasonable question to have! To be totally frank, this does not happen because there are just many, many more interventions available when the desired outcome is not a healthy mom and baby.

Late term abortions are typically done over four days, with mechanical dilation occurring over the first 72 hours (so twice as long your induction was attempted, primarily by chemical methods besides the foley catheter). The cervix is opened with increasingly large osmotic dilators (osmotic: they go in smaller, absorb your body fluid and expand over several hours) that are placed and replaced every 24 hours, in addition to being given the misoprostol/cervidil/mifepristone/pitocin etc used to induce normal labor. The cervix can be further opened by passing through metal dilating rods that would injure (maybe fatally!) a healthy fetus. Fetal death itself, which is induced before the first osmotic dilators are placed, also seems to contribute to preparing the body for labor.

In all honesty, the limiting safety factor for most induction interventions is baby, not mom. In addition to being able to use more physically forceful methods of dilation, different medications or doses of medications, etc, fetal delivery in a late term abortion doesn't have to occur intact. In many late term abortions, patients want remains to grieve and bury and this is definitely something that guides care, but the abortions later in pregnancy that I have assisted essentially never result in complete fetal remains. This means you do not need 10 full centimeters of dilation to get all tissue out.

I asked one of the attendings at work a similar question a few years ago and in 25 years of abortion care he personally had never seen an abortion performed via cesarean. There are certainly cases where fetal death has occurred or is likely to occur and a csection is performed (the zavanelli maneuver for example, when the head has passed through the cervix but the shoulders are unable to, so the head is reduced back into the uterus in anticipation of csection, has pretty poor survival rates for baby; if placenta is disengaging, a lot of times it is the only option to get mom out safely) but I think in planned abortion, it is either exceedingly rare or just doesn't happen.

[iminthetunnels]

i am not at all bombarded by plastic surgery content. but i randomly got recommended a bbl post op video and i was like. yeah i’ll bite. and she’s like “i’m constantly watching women’s plastic surgery journeys” and i’m thinking what??? i’ve never seen this before. ever, and i’ve looked into tummy tuck procedures and the algorithm never produces any content like tht for me further. it’s not even like “let women do whatever to their bodies” it’s just weird. esp “mommy makeovers” omg …. so evil. i am self conscious of my body bc i’m not this skinny little girl anymore. i had a csection, so i have the csection body. but it’s just so evil. and ppl talk abt it so easily !!!! i’m still a human, who almost died to bring another human into this world. i’m just demoted to my body, degraded into what i can present. SAD! i have never looked at another women in a degrading way either. or thought “i wish i could look like that” never ! i only look at myself in a judgmental manner. doesn’t matter. bbl’s are insane . bbl’s are evil . tummy tucks are evil . intense workouts 7 days a week are insane and evil. women need low impact, slow, easy stretching/yoga/workouts

[transbeeduo]

plot twist Tubbo actually didnt have a c-section. Bug just cut its way out using its egg shell cutter or whatever its called that snakes and other egg dwellers have. cutter tooth. whatever it is. and they just kinda cut their way out. this didmt happen but itd be funny. Bug giving Tubbo a csection by itself

THIS ASK IS FUCKING AWESOMEEEEE anon ur cooking so fucking hard here do you know that. i LOVEEE the idea of Bug having an egg tooth it’d really add to why Tubbo needed a c-section because Bug could’ve genuinely punctured his insides if they were a natural birth… that’s so good what the fuck….

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 52

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, Andy is nasty in this, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Andy's palm clamps over your mouth, smothering any noise you try to make. You grasp at his thick fingers, puffing through your nostrils as you kick out, fighting his indomitable strength. This can't be. He wouldn't do this. Andy's a nice guy, the only decent guy you knew. It's why you couldn't bring him into your mess.

His arm tightens around your neck as he drags you backward. He presses his cheek to the side of your head and hisses, "shhhh, I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I want, honey." You whimper as your feet bounce off the ground, "even though you hurt me. Over and over." He rasps as he hauls you with him, "I only wanted to give you everything. If you let me, I still can."

He swings you around and wrangles you behind his house. Your panic surges as your eyes prick hotly. You shudder and try to calm yourself. Luna. You have to get Luna.

You let your arms go limp, taking careful steps to alleviate the constraint around your neck. He fumbles to open the door and turns you inside. He slams it behind him, closing you inside the impenetrable silence of his home.

He marches you forward. You don't resist. He takes you to another door, this one you've never been past. To be fair, when you were there, you didn't stay long enough to explore. There's a thick deadbolt on the outside.

"Andy," you force out your tight windpipe, "please, don't hurt me--"

"Honey, I won't. We got a daughter to take care of," he opens the door to a carpeted staircase.

"I know, I know," you shakily reach back to touch his hip, "let me go, I'll go down but I could fall if you don't."

"I won't let you," he insists and lurches you forward.

He keeps his arm around your neck, walking you awkwardly down each step, following the sharp angle of the staircase. The basement is made up like an apartment of its own. It's finished with carpet and paint on the walls, changing colours to delineate the space. The kitchen in one corner, a living space in another, a queen bed against the wall, and the corner where the crib looks eerily similar to the nursery in Lloyd's house. You stop and look around, horrified.

Luna whines. You pull against Andy without thinking. You have to control yourself. You repress the urge to claw and fight him.

"Andy," you bring your hands up to your throbbing chest, "I need to feed her. She's hungry... I hurt so bad."

He doesn't let you go right away. He exhales and slowly drops his arm, grazing your hip as he does. You restrain yourself from running across the room. You move cautiously towards the crib. She's there, squirming and squalling for you.

You lift Luna and hush her as you hold her close. She's bawling in fear, you can't let her feel your own. You pull up your shirt and put her to your nipple, angling her to latch. You sigh and turn, sitting on the rocking footrest in front of the glider. You coo and pet her head as she feeds greedily.

"I'm sorry. I tried to feed her," Andy says as he shuts the door at the bottom of the stairs, "she wouldn't take the formula."

"It's okay, she's fussy," you assure him, trying not to think of the surreal circumstance. Just be calm. "Very hungry."

He nods and comes closer, his cheeks kissed red from the bitter winter. He looms across from you, watching as Luna suckles noisily. His gaze weighs on you as you find his eyes fixed on your chest. You don't let the shiver roll up your spine.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

You try not to react. He's asking if you're okay and he's brought you down to his weird bunker? A place like this doesn't just appear overnight.

You gulp, "I'm just happy to have her back. Thank you, Andy."

He smiles and looks you in the face, "I'll keep you safe. Both of you."

You force a smile of your own. There's something off. You see it then in his glassy eyes, as if he's hypnotised.

"Do you have any tea?" You ask softly, "I'm cold."

He flinches and puts his hand on his chest. He clears his throat, "yes, honey, I'll get you some. You like green or--"

"It's late, chamomile?"

"Of course."

He finally backs up and you breathe through your nose as you look down at your daughter. You listen to him moving around the kitchenette. You hug Luna tighter. It's going to be okay, baby girl. I'll make sure of it.

You switch sides as the plucking turns painful. Andy sets down a steaming cup. You could throw it back in his face but you know better. That will only make him angry. You're not fast or strong enough to beat him. You're not getting out tonight.

"Thank you," you feel Luna ease in her hold, "she's getting sleepy."

He stands over you, turning to face you. His hand tickles over your shoulder and he leans it to caress Luna's head as she closes her eyes. You stiffen, livid as he dares to touch your child. You swallow it down as his hand wanders further and he squeezes your other tit. You wince.

"She's so beautiful, just like her mommy," he lets go and gets down to kneel beside you. He leans his head against your shoulder and watches Luna.

"Thank you," you breathe, roll your eyes back against a new wave of tears.

You never expected this, so how could anyone else? No one will come for you, you have to find your own way out.

🍑

Luna fusses and rouses you from your trance. Not sleep, just terror. The arm slung around your middle has you paralysed but it cannot keep you from your child. Slowly, you move Andy's arm away from you and sit up. He grumbles as you cross to the crib and lift your daughter, rocking her.

"What're you doing?" He rasps in his morning grit.

"Shhh, she might go back to sleep," you whisper, "she's just not used to her new... home."

He pushes himself up on his elbows and looks at you from under sleepy lashes. He yawns and sits up, fluffing the pillow up behind his back. He stretches his arm towards you, waving you closer, "I'll take her."

"Maybe in a bit, let me just calm her down," you cradle Luna tighter.

"I can do it," he insists, "let me hold our daughter."

His tone deepens, hard as iron. Our daughter? You can't let him hurt her. Or you, you're the only one there to keep her safe.

"Just be gentle," you gird as you come around the bed, "she'll be hungry if she stays awake."

"I know how to hold a baby," he retorts as he sits forward to take her. You carefully put her in his arms, reluctant to back away.

She wriggles as he gazes down at her. You twiddle your fingers, standing close, your chest tight and pounding.

"I go her," he insists, "can you get some coffee on, honey?"

You stare at him, blinking, then glance down at your daughter. "Sure."

You back away, inching to the kitchenette as you can't help but peek back over and over. He coos at her, his voice soft and higher than usual. It makes you want to throttle him even more. Luna feels much the same as her babbles turn to uncomfortable grunts.

You find a bag of coffee and open the machine in the corner. You quickly load it up as your daughter's voice tugs at you. You hear Andy growl.

"She won't stay still," he huffs.

"Like I said, she's probably hungry."

You go back to them and offer to take her. He hands her over but not without muttering. You pull up the same sweater you've been in since the previous morning. You get Luna latched and yipe as you feel a pinch on your other nipple. Andy tweaks through the rumbled fabric and pushes it up.

"Ow," you try to back up but he catches you by the hip.

You keep Luna in place as he turns his legs over the side of the bed and guides you close. You can't resist as you try not to jostle your child. He bares your other tit and in a second, his lips seal around your nipple. You cry out in shock, almost smacking his head as he suckles.

"What are you doing?" You exclaim.

"Mmmm," he hums and pops his mouth off, "you taste good."

"My milk is for her, Andy," you block him from trying again, pushing a hand against his chin as you keep your other arm under Luna. "Don't--"

He pulls his head back and reaches up to grab your tit, squeezing it until your yelp. It hurts so bad. A trickle leaks out as Luna's mouth detaches and she gurgles.

"Andy, you're going to hurt her," you snap.

He only kneads you harder. You whimper and your legs buckle.

"You have more than enough," he insists and slides forward, nibbling on your tender nipple. You whine and move Luna away from him, disgusted by what he's doing.

"Andy, please, I don't-- she needs to feed first--"

He ignores you and keeps suckling, your stomach churning as your daughter begins to wail. He doesn't care at all about your daughter, he's sick and twisted and would let her starve. Well, you won't stand for that. You will get her out of here, at any cost.

[loveletters2myself]

I'm pregnant with my first baby+ stepping into my sahm era!! I love your blog and have for years. I'm curious if you have any tips or fave products for pregnancy? My "morning" sickness has been soooo tough... but I'm so grateful to be growing this baby <3

congratulations!!!! i’m so happy for you! 🤍

with my daughter, i was so severely nauseas all day, every day, for 3 months straight and nothing helped. so unfortunately in that department i have no advice but to stick it out, stay as hydrated as possible, snack a lot, rest a lot and perhaps talk with your OB about medication you can take if it’s really bad. mine offered but i personally declined.

as for pregnancy tips/products —

most importantly, get as much rest as possible. you’re growing a whole human! second and third trimester for both pregnancies, i was so tired and run down. it’s a lot on our body! but also, make sure you’re getting somewhat daily movement every day. daily walks were my go to. if i was up for it, i’d do a pregnancy safe workout — more so for the stretching out my body, and prepping it for birth (even though both times failed for natural birth).

a common thing i see is a lot of new mother’s falling into the myths of certain drinks and foods helping induce labour, and feeling discouraged and stress when it doesn’t help. so keep in mind of that nothing will really induce labour other than your body and baby being ready. you can still drink the raspberry leaf tea, eat dates, etc; to help support your body during the healing process of birth, as it does help your uterus and cervix afterwards!

i loved using earth mama belly oil (they also have a great perineal spray and nipple butter for postpartum!) & living libations best skin ever oil to keep my whole body moisturized. pregnancy made my skin so dry and itchy! so it helped a lot!

when it comes to your birth plan, be open minded to things changing. with my first pregnancy, i had this whole plan set out for me and everything switched very fast and i needed an emergency csection. of course, set your boundaries of what you want (skin to skin, cord delaying, breastfeeding or formula, etc), but don’t overly stress yourself out on things such as a natural birth vs csection. go with the safety of you and your baby, and what your OB recommends. i think if i had a more open mind the first time, i wouldn’t have been so affected with guilt of personally feeling like my body “failed” me and my daughter.

ask allllll the questions. communicate with your OB. do not be afraid of any thing sounding weird, embarrassing or stupid.

h&m has a great affordable maternity line of comfortable clothes! but don’t purchase too many things, as it’s not necessary.

maternity pillow for support during sleep! any regular one on amazon works!

magnesium spray for the restless and cramps in your legs that you get during sleep in the second/third trimester. or you can take magnesium orally. just check in with your OB for both options before using!

educate yourself on ways you and your partner can support you during the postpartum period! + how to support your baby.

if you plan to breastfeed, ask your OB for local breastfeeding support classes. and ask for guidance from lactation consultants before and after!

slowly start prepping and purchasing everything you want/need for yourself and your baby. you don’t have to buy everything at once, but it does help slowly prepping instead of waiting for last minute, when it’s the third trimester and you’re tired!

take every advice given to you with a grain of salt. every pregnancy, birth and baby is different for everyone. i had such high expectations about how a newborn would be, and my daughter rocked my world (lol!) when she was a few weeks old and dealing with the worst reflux/colic and never slept. and now my son is the complete opposite of that. so listen to the advice, take it into consideration and go with the flow.

take all the bump photos and videos. save all the small little memories. treasure all the moments! because despite even having a hard pregnancy both times, i sometimes find myself missing it! and it’s always nice to have memories to look back at.

[feralwifey]

Sad about the fact that I had a csection and didn't have a regular birth, sad about the fact that my hospital experience was horrific and no one cared for me. If I ever have another baby I'm going for a vbac and getting a doula. I need healing.

[mama-forest-witch]

8/14/23: A little personal post/diary entry about my healing and postpartum recovery.

Balance:

So along my postpartum healing journey I am learning how to balance 2 children, one (my 3 year old) who is feeling a little neglected now that I can't pay attention to him 100% of the time and the other (1 month old) who needs me constantly and is a lot fussier than his brother was at this age. It's an interestingly delicate balance, where I have to put my 3 year old first before my newborn sometimes so he doesn't feel so left out. My 3 year old is really doing amazing and adjusting to his new brother with love, he just doesn't understand why I can't be on the floor playing with him all the time like I used to.

Doctor's Appointment:

And as far as my body goes, I had my 6 week appointment last Thursday and she examined my stomach to find that I do indeed have severe abdominal diastasis recti (a 4 finger gap between my ab muscles). But what I didn't know is that since my baby was so large and I was so small, they also physically pulled my muscles apart to get him out. Now pulling the muscles apart is normal for a csection, but apparently there was a little bit more stress put on my muscles than the average csection.

Weight loss:

My weight loss journey has been successful so far! I have lost over 45 lbs and have about 28 lbs more to go before I am back down to my normal weight range of 125-130 lbs. I have been counting calories with an app on my phone, tracking my steps with a new smart watch, walking daily, and today I started a 28 day diastasis recti ab workout challenge. My stomach still protrudes because of the diastasis but it's not nearly as bad as it was 5 weeks ago. I am fitting back into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes but still not the majority.

Mentally:

I am doing better, feeling less overwhelmed and much less depressed. My midwife sent in a recommendation for a psychiatrist to see if I need to differently manage my medication and to examine my thoughts. We will see how that goes.

[tales-of-a-seahorse]

Whenever my OB shows up in my dreams she always has a forearm tattoo. In real life, she has no visible tattoos. This really helps me ground myself after some of my dreams. After my csection I used to have stress dreams that she would come to my house, tell me she forgot a step in surgery and needed to correct it right then- there was no time to get me to the hospital.

I haven't started the stressful csection dreams yet. But I have started having other stress dreams related to my pregnancy. So, it's helpful that this visual queue exists for me.