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gloriainalbis · 4 years

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Strangers

Part 1 - Losers (S1E1)

Nathan Young x Reader Words: 4.4k Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, drugs Songs: Strangers - The Kinks Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

“So you've been where I've just come From the land that brings losers on”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | Ao3

As bad days go, you’re having a pretty horrible one when you arrive at the Wertham Community Center. It’s the first of many to come, part of the court-mandated service that goes along with your ASBO. Your dad keeps telling you that you’re lucky the judge had been so lenient and should be grateful that he’s allowing you to stay with him and your stepmum again– even though you have no one to stay with and nowhere else to go. And he’s your dad. “In the future,” you tell him while getting out of the car, “I think I’ll walk.”

Striding through the frosted glass of the front doors, you continue on to the locker rooms to change into the orange jumpsuits you find waiting for you. You choose a locker on the far wall and dump your stuff there. You decide to leave your t-shirt on underneath, zipping the suit up most, but not all, of the way. Finished, you lean back to take a look at your designated companions for the 200 hours to be dispersed across the next few months. One girl has chosen her locker to be in front of the mirror. Her hair is short, curly, and pinned back on the side to form some cute bangs-like fringe. You notice an ankle monitor adorning her lower leg as she strips down to a pink lace pushup bra and panties and steps into her jumpsuit, rolling up the sleeves and bottom cuffs and adding a gold belt around her waist to complete the ensemble. The color of her earrings and bangle bracelets– both large, round, pink, and plastic– match her underwear. She steps back to take a look at herself and smiles. Another girl brushes her hair back into a high and tight ponytail. She looks curvier than the first girl, but just as confident, pairing smoky black eye makeup with shiny, pale pink lip gloss and gold hoop earrings. The guy who’d taken a locker near yours fishes a cigarette out of his pocket and sticks it between his lips. He looks equal parts cute and odd, tall and lanky with a mop unruly, curly hair framing his face. He wears a red and black checkered shirt and an air of swaggering cockiness radiates from him with a pungency usually reserved for uncommonly offensive odors. He smirks at you slyly. The guy with the locker across from the two girls looks vaguely familiar to you. He has two gold chains, one with a cross, and a grey tank top. His jumpsuit is only zipped up halfway, with the arms tied around his waist. He looks remarkably fit, and, not having much of an affinity for sports, you wonder where you recognize him from. The last person you see in the locker room is shadowy and reserved. His hair is short and neatly combed and his jumpsuit is buttoned up all the way to the very last button. He holds a small, black camera phone in his hand and shifts his gaze between people nervously. As you start to file out, one last person stomps in front of you, looking you up and down as he nearly bowls you over. You grimace as he winks. The first thing you notice about him is the immaculate green flat-brimmed baseball cap. You suspect that this hat and others like it are a large part of his personality. Once you’re all together, a man introducing himself as your probation worker, Tony, leads you outside and has you line up against some railing as he gives what you believe is supposed to be a rousing speech. From left to right is Curtis, Gary, Nathan, you, Kelly, Alisha, and Simon. You would learn their names later, but for the purposes of clarity, we’ll start using them now. Tony paces before you, attempting to assume the macho, fear-inducing demeanor of a boot camp officer. “This is it,” he barks. “This is your chance to do something positive. Give something back. You can help people, you can really make a difference to people’s lives. That’s what community service is all about. There are people out there who think you’re scum. You have an opportunity to show them they’re wrong.” He has the tone of someone who has given this speech before and is just barely holding onto their faith in its underlying message. The girl to your left, Kelly, looks mildly offended at the word “scum,” as if Tony had been speaking directly to her. “Yeah, but what if they’re right?” Nathan interrupts on your right. He looks around at the rest of you, “No offense, but I’m thinking some people are just born criminals.” You smile to yourself and try to hold back a chuckle as a look of anger flashes over suspected-douchebag-Gary’s eyes and he bursts out with “Are you looking to get stabbed?” “You see my point there?” Nathan asks, turning back to Tony. A phone rings and Alisha answers with a casual “Hey,” while twirling a curl between her manicured fingers. Tony tries to continue, but he’s becoming increasingly exasperated. “Doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past-” “Doin’ my community service,” Alisha speaks to her phone. “Hey!” He tries and fails to catch her attention. “Boring as fuck,” she continues. It was getting harder not to laugh and you glance at Nathan out of the corner of your eye, amused at the part he had to play in the deterioration of Tony’s speech. “Excuse me!” He tries again. “Hello, I’m still talking here.” “What, I thought you’d finished?” She didn’t care, evidently. “You see my lips still moving, that means I’m still talking.” He tries to assert something akin to authority but clearly doesn’t realize how poorly that approach tends to work on rag-tag groups of rebellious young offenders. “Yeah, but you could have been yawning, or chewing,” Nathan points out facetiously in a drawling tone. Tony ignores him, but you are full-on laughing at this point. “End the call! Hang up!” He shouts at Alisha to no avail. “My probation worker,” she explains to the person on the other line. “You all right there, weird kid?” Nathan leans past you to point at Simon, who stood alone at the far end of your lineup. Tony fumed. “Don’t be disgusting. I’ll call you later.” She finally hangs up, looking over at Nathan, who was approaching Gary and making kissing noises at him. “I’ll rip out your throat and shit down your neck,” Gary snaps back. He looks amusingly short in comparison, you now realize. Curtis grimaces and leans away from the touchy ball of anger standing next to him. “I shouldn’t be here, man.” Kelly gapes at his arrogance as Gary starts to scuffle with Nathan, grabbing at his jumpsuit. “We need to work as a team here. Hey, that’s enough!” Tony takes a few steps forward. “Can I move to a different group? This isn’t going to work for me,” Curtis continues, even though Tony is clearly otherwise engaged. You lean back, nearly bumping into Kelly as she steps to Cutis’ indirect insults. “Um… What makes you think that you’re better than us?” “What is that accent?” Nathan comments, drawn out of his conflict by the way her “us” sounded a lot more like “oss” “Is that for real?” Curtis scoffs, rolling his eyes. “What, are you tryna’ say something or yeah?” She speaks, the latter half her sentence mostly lost due to her lack of enunciation. “Its- you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?” Nathan exclaims. You shake your head and raise your eyebrows at their audacity and Kelly’s incoherence. She sticks her hand out and flips him off, “Do you understand that?” Things escalate again when Nathan puts an arm around a violently unwilling Gary who responds by grabbing him and preparing to punch. “Hey, pack it in!” Tony lunges forward to separate them “It’s love, man!” Nathan yells. You double over, stepping back to get out of the way. Kelly meets your gaze and smirks at the growing scene before you. Alisha laughs, a high-pitched giggle. Tony stood between them now, pulling Gary further and further away from Nathan, who assumed a boxer’s stance and put up his fists comically. “Do it man! Do it! You’re a prick, man, look at you!” Gary calls, trying to push past Tony. “What the fuck are they doin’?” You say to everyone behind you as Kelly looks between you and Alisha. Simon looks like he’d rather be elsewhere, as does Curtis, but for different reasons. Nathan had taken to punch the air, which only served to further aggravate Gary. “You’re a fuckin’ pussy, bruv! He’s takin’ the piss, come here!” Cue the intro music. -- Tony eventually diffuses the conflict between Nathan and Gary and finally leads everyone to some benches by the lake, which you are told to paint white. Paint drips everywhere, from your shoes to the concrete sidewalk, but you hardly care. How different is this from the reason you were here in the first place? You were reprimanded for painting on someone else’s property and were told to instead paint on someone else’s property to pay for it, how is that supposed to work? The only difference is that the first time had been art, and this was largely pointless. They wanted to cover up the graffiti on these benches, but the new paint job would only make future acts of vandalism easier to see. You did it anyway, though, happy to peel off with Nathan and Kelly as Curtis and Alisha and Simon and Gary pair off to the benches on either side of you. You watch as Gary leans down to pick up more paint on his brush, his hat brushing dangerously close to the fresh paint before it finally touches, leaving a stark white smear on the brim. You poke Nathan’s shoulder and point as Gary notices, ripping off his hat in horror and stomping off in a huff, kicking a bucket of paint into the lake and leaving behind a violent burst of white. “Oh, man! There’s paint on my cap, this is bullshit!” “Ooh!” Alisha whistles as he walks past. Everyone turns and stares as he struggles with a shopping cart that’s in his way, kicking it at first before trying and failing to shove it into the lake as well when it simply falls in front of him, still blocking the path. “I know you,” you hear Alisha say to Curtis, perking up due to your own curiosity. “No, you don’t,” he brushes her off. “Yes, I do,” She continues, unphased. “You’re that runner guy. You screwed up big time.” That’s it. You’d seen him years ago at your secondary school’s track meets and races, and later in the news for his accomplishments and subsequent arrest. “You noticed, yeah? Thanks for reminding me.” He grew increasingly annoyed, and it was abundantly clear. Overhearing, Nathan glances up at Kelly and tries to strike up a conversation, “So I’m guessing shoplifting?” She ignores him. “No?” He was about to speak again when she cuts him off, “Don’t act like you know me, ‘cuz you don’t.” “I’m just makin’ conversation!” He motions to you and Kelly, “This is a chance to network with other young offenders. We should be swapping tips. Brainstorming!” He looks at you to continue, but you stay silent, also curious about Kelly’s infraction. You shrug and he looks back at her. “Come on, what did you do?” “This girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight,” she admits, slapping her paintbrush to the bench in annoyance. “Was this on the Jeremy Kyle show?” He jokes. “No, it was at Argos.” “Argos?” you ask, finding the store an odd place to get into fights. “You know what you should’ve done? You should have got one of them little pens and jabbed it in her eye.” He was referring to the pens for filling out the catalog cards at Argos and you smirk at the image, but Kelly just stares at him incredulously. It’s an odd thing to say to someone you barely knew. He turns to look at you, “And you? I need to know what we’re workin’ with here.” “Ah…” You glance between Nathan and Kelly before continuing, “Graffiti, mostly, and throwing a party that bugged my neighbors, breaking the peace.” You had broken the law, technically, but it was nothing compared to punching someone and getting into a fight in the middle of Argos. He raises his eyebrows curiously, “Is there a story behind it or was it just mindless vandalism?” “It was on the wall of my apartment, my landlord saw it when he went to break up a party that my friends were throwing and he said he’d report me.” “Oh, what a wanker!” Nathan exclaims. “The worst part is I lost the apartment and now I’ve gotta live with my dad and stepmum again and it’s a living nightmare.” You don’t want to exaggerate or sound like too much of a cliche, but your stepmother is one of the meanest people you have ever encountered. You could understand it to some extent, as she has two young children and you aren’t the greatest of influences. You call these siblings stepfuck and stepcunt respectively, case in point. “Well, I can sympathize with that. But at least yours is a stepmum, they’re, like, inherently kinda hot, amirite?” You glare at him and begin to understand some of Kelly’s annoyance. He redirects, turning his attention to Simon, who is now painting his bench all alone after Gary’s outburst. “What about you, weird kid? Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but you look like a panty-sniffer.” He holds his hands up beside his face, mocking a disgusting sniff of some invisible panties. “I’m not a panty-sniffer,” he responds. “I’m not a pervert.” He tries to return to painting the bench, but Nathan begins walking towards him, pretending to jack off with his paintbrush still in his hand, grunting disgustingly. You sigh and roll your eyes, glancing at Kelly. He could be funny, sure, but you were quickly learning about his tendency to take things too far. Kelly shrugs at you. “I tried to burn someone’s house down,” Simon blurts out to get Nathan to stop. Everyone who’d heard snapped to attention, as arson seems considerably more serious than vandalism or a few punches. “Fire?” Nathan laughs and walks back. Kelly looks up at him, “What did you do?” You were still curious about the fire and arson, but you let the conversation move on regardless. “Me? I was done for eatin’ some pick ‘n’ mix.” “Yeah, right,” you scoff. “Bollocks,” Kelly agrees. “What is goin’ on with this weather,” Nathan muses, distracted, as thunder rolls down from overhead and you quickly noticed the growing dark storm clouds in the sky just across the lake. Huh, odd. That hadn’t been there just a few minutes ago. “How did that happen?” you hear behind you, looking around to see Tony returning, an angry look instantly plastered to his face. He points to the overturned paint can, part of Gary’s carnage, and holds his arms up in exasperation. “I mean, you’ve been here five minutes. It’s painting benches. How’d you screw that up? You tell me, because I’ve got no idea.” From out of nowhere, a giant white ball of something smashes down on the car behind Tony, completely caving in the roof and sending the car alarm blaring. Shocked, you jump back and duck amid the various screams and cries of “What the hell was that?” and “Oh, Jesus!” Nathan’s smug grin immediately falls and transforms into fear and wonderment. Alisha shrieks, crying out in a warbling tone, “What’s goin’ on?” Tony turns around slowly in disbelief and gasps, “That’s my car!” “Oh, fuck,” you mutter under your breath. But Nathan isn’t taking it as seriously. “Classic,” he chuckles, thinking it to be some sort of prank. But then another thing falls from the sky into the lake behind you, whizzing past your heads and spraying you, Nathan, and Kelly in an onslaught of lake-water. “Okay, so I’m a little bit freaked out!” he admits. “No fucking shit!” you agree. “What is that?” Alisha asks, turning your attention to the storm Nathan had pointed out just moments ago. It had grown, somehow, turning dark and dangerous as it travels at an unnervingly fast pace towards your group. Simon holds his phone up to film the storm and its effects just as another ball crashes into the dumpster beside him, knocking over the heavy, metal container and spewing ice at him as he ducks and runs from it. More and more ice falls from the sky, huge blocks larger than your head, and you don’t want to think of what could happen if one of them hit you. “Right, let’s get everyone inside,” Tony instructs as more and more of them fall all around you. “Move! Move! Run!” You sprint back to the community center at top speed, holding your head as ice shards rain down on you, pelting and stinging your face and arms. Your heart practically beats out of your chest. One ball of ice pummels into the sidewalk in front of you, breaking a concrete tile. Another falls into a phonebooth, and the glass shatters to the ground around your feet. The storm seems to get thicker as you near the center, and your hair is plastered to your face from the mixture of sweat and water that you were drenched in. You could barely hear Tony yell “Keep going!” over the crashes and booms that fill your ears as you run for your life. Curtis reaches the door first, pulling on the handles and banging on the glass before stepping back and yelling over the din to Tony, “It’s locked! Open it!” Tony groans, “Come on…” and fumbles with the keys. You throw yourself against the wall, as far away as possible from the mega hail storm, and scream, “Just fuckin’ unlock it!” “What is happening?” Kelly shrieks as another massive ball of ice falls onto the pavement beside her. “Open the door, come on!” Nathan yells as Tony grows increasingly frustrated. “I’m finding the right key!” he bellows back “Open the door!” Curtis yells again, and Alisha agreed. “Open the fucking door!” Tony whips around in a burst of anger, “Don’t speak to me like that!” You were about to berate him for his poor priorities when a bright white burst of cold lightning cracks in front of you and sends you flying backward in a chorus of screams. Time slows as you fly through the air and the electricity transforms from a chilling shock to a burning flare, searing and snaking through you as you soar and tumble backward onto the hard pavement. You hit the ground with a sickening thud, from which groans and cries of pain follow. A few remaining snowballs hit the ground around you, but the storm appears to have passed. “I feel really weird,” you hear Kelly say. Your vision is still black, which has you worried until you realize it’s only because your eyes are still closed. You open them and sit up, rubbing the back of your head, which is still screaming in pain. “That’ll be the lightning,” Curtis says to try and explain what just happened. “We should be dead,” Simon points out. “Well, that’s comforting,” you snap back. “A little reassurance might be nice, you know,” Nathan agrees, instead directing his comment to Tony, who is sprawled before the door of the center and has just started to sit up. “‘You’re fine!’ ‘Looking good!’” he elaborates. “Wanker…” Tony groans, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Did he just call me a wanker?” Nathan asks, indignantly glancing at you and everyone else. He snaps his fingers at Tony, “Hey? Hello?” You see a quick look of anger flash across Tony’s face before he grumbles, “Is everyone alright?” “We could have died, you dick,” Alisha adds. “Are you alright?” Kelly asks tentatively as Tony shakes his head and coughs out a growl. “You’re actin’ like a freak.” He ignores her, “Maybe we should call it a day.” -- Tony finally manages to unlock the door, and you return to the locker rooms to gather your things. You feel like you should be annoyed, leaving early only means you’ll have to spend another day here, but you are too exhausted to feel anything. That was probably the closest you’d ever been to death. You can still feel your heart beating, a deep, steady drumbeat, and your lungs ache from the running and adrenaline. Beside you, Nathan closes his locker and leans against it before turning to you, “Do you think we’ll stick together now, bonded by our shared experiences?” “Dunno. I’d rather spend as little time here as possible,” you explain, closing your locker and stepping away to put on your hoodie. “Oh, you’re one of those types, are you?” Nathan smiles. “What type?” You glare at him. “The I’m-too-cool-for-this type.” “No, that’s Curtis,” you quip, knowing that he’d already left the room. “I just happen to not like community service.” Or any of these morons, all the other girls are total slags. “Hey!” Kelly snaps, swinging around to glare at you suddenly. “Oookay?” You turn away awkwardly and leave, you can’t imagine anything you’d said having offended her. Maybe she just really loves community service or something, but that is decidedly not the impression you’ve gotten from her so far. You walk out to the waiting area by the vending machines, where you find Curtis and Simon standing around in heavy silence. Nathan follows after you moments later. “Do we just go, then?” Curtis asks, clearly annoyed. “Where’s the probation worker?” “I think there’s something wrong with him,” Simon speaks up. “It’s like he was having a spasm.” “He was probably just faking it, trying to get some compensation. Cheap bastard,” Nathan scoffs. “I don’t think he was faking it,” Simon insists, looking back down at his phone. “And you know all about being… mental.” Nathan takes a few steps forward as he talks, leering at Simon and lowering his voice. Then he pretends to convulse and yells “Wanker!” You punch him in the shoulder. “Ow, what the hell was that for?” He sticks his head out at you almost comically. You stick your head out back at him. “Stop being such a prick, he might have a point.” Alisha walks in, already looking bored. “Are we waiting for something?” “Probation worker,” Curtis explains. She scrunches up her face in disgust. “I’m not hanging around for that dickhead.” She turns on her heel and leaves, which everyone else seems to take as their cue to leave as well. You can’t be bothered to be the only one waiting around, so you follow suit. Once outside, everyone pretty much goes their separate ways. Nathan, however, trots after you. “What’re you doin’?” You ask. “Thought you looked a little lonely, and, well, I’d like to recommend my own company as recompense.” He motions to himself like he’s all that, which honestly has you snorting to hold back your laughter. “You can’t be serious.” You raise your eyebrows. “Fine, I happen to live along this way, alright? I’m Nathan, by the way.” “Y/n.” You smile at him. “And I’ll have you know that to date, I haven’t had a single complaint.” He says it like you should be impressed or something. “Can’t have complaints if you haven’t been with anybody,” you joke, smirking. His jaw drops in mock surprise, “Oy! I have, too!” He keeps trying to impress upon you the depth of his sexual prowess, offering many stories as proof, all of which have you in stitches. He peels off when you were about halfway home. You say your goodbyes and wave as he walks away, grateful for the company. A few houses down from your own, though, you stop walking, contemplating what to do next. Home doesn’t seem like a particularly fun place to be right now, but it’s not like you have anywhere else to go. It’s still the early afternoon, so it would probably be only your stepmum at home, with your dad at work and your step siblings at school. It’s practically a worst-case scenario, as you doubt she would believe that they let you go early. You wish this day had gone differently. As you’re musing and trying to work up the courage to walk the thirty or so meters left to your front door, the skies begin to darken. You look up to see if a cloud had rolled in overhead, not exactly trusting the weather as of late, but as soon as you do so, it disappears and the sky goes back to normal. You think nothing of it, which is probably a poor choice on your part, but you are too burned out to care. You finally reach the front door, closing it gingerly behind you, but to no avail. “Y/n? Is that you?” You hear from the other room. “Yup.” You stand in the doorway to the kitchen, knowing you need to address this, but desperately wanting to leave. “They let us go early today.” She eyes you quizzically, “Really?” Now here’s the thing, the truth isn’t even remotely believable– There was a freak hail storm and everyone in our group got hit by lightning or something but now we’re all okay and our probation officer did too, he let us go early and then disappeared– so you have to lie. “Yeah, ‘cuz it’s the first day. They mostly showed us the ropes, got us started on something, and then let us go.” You wait, holding your breath. “Oh.” She looks disappointed. “I thought you’d be out today.” “Yeah, well I did, too,” you mumble as you walk away, not really caring whether or not she heard. “What’d you say?!” she calls after you. “Nothing!” you yell back as you walk as quickly as possible to your room. Once inside, you sigh and collapse onto your bed. You feel like a teenager again and it’s horrible, being forced to be somewhere where you’re treated like immature crap every day, living at home again, constantly having a row with your stepmum. You hope, but doubt, that the next day will be better.

#misfits #misfits tv #nathan #nathan misfits #nathan young #nathan young x reader #nathan young misfits #nathan young imagine

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boywitchstuff · 4 years

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iconic moments from my high school career, where I was class of 2019

my junior year we had to write speeches for Santa (english assignment) and a guy asked for a baddie

my junior year english teacher spending the rest of the day asking what a baddie was

during a morning meeting, students from around the gymnasium threw bouncy balls at my principal, no one else

we weren't allowed to do a prom meetup at our school, so we went to a local soccer complex

my salutatorian solved a large rubix cube during our graduation ceremony

how many people are gonna pass out during this semester's blood drive? stay tuned

a teacher fucked up 25 students SATs to the point where all of the tests were almost canceled (I unfortunately was one of the 25 students) and got fired

a teacher losing the money that the class of 2020 raised for prom

classroom heater caught on fire while an award ceremony was going on and many parents were in the building, causing mass panic

two girls "accidentally" set off the fire alarm at homecoming

bomb threat on the day of a standardized test, many students being late to the test because only 2 ppl were responsible for checking every student at the door

power outage on one of the final exam days

manhunt held by 2 upperclassmen to find the student with a big ass trump flag on his truck

"during a fight, the loser gets 10 days OSS, winner gets 5"

during the homecoming dance, the DJ said "I'm being paid to not play the songs you guys are requesting", many people left

same dude got sniffed out by the drug dogs multiple times

lockdown because one dude triggered his friends epilepsy

candlelight ceremony, where you trust 250 teenagers to not light themselves on fire while walking

girl brought an envelope full of spiders to my freshman english class

that one toilet that clogged itself if you flushed it that NEVER got fixed even though at least once a week there'd be toilet water on the floor

hand foot mouth outbreak, school didn't clean so you had students spraying lysol down the hallway as they walked

hepatitis a outbreak at the same time as a meningitis outbreak

lose yourself by eminem played at every football game, but they didn't have an aux cord so they just put their phone really close to the microphone

I will add more when I remember

#high school #public #public school #public high school #high school memes #memes #class of 2019 #meme #school #school memes #school memories #memories #funny

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santiagos-lisbon · 4 years

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i was tagged by @cheddarholt! thanks for tagging me! :))

Spell out your url using song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url.

summertime sadness- lana del rey

are you bored yet?- wallows

no time to die- billie eilish

these boots are made for walkin- nancy sinatra

ilomilo- billie eilish

alewife- clairo

green light- lorde

opaul- freddie dredd

‘

satisfaction- benny benassi

boss bitch- doja cat

if you seek amy- britney spears

teen romance- lil peep

closer to you- clairo

hit me with your best shot- adona

i tag: @b99peraltiago, @peraltiago-is-perfect, @peraltiagos-toitnups, and @goalsohyeah!

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argentdandelion · 5 years

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Juni Cortez is a Callous Little Fool

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In Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, Juni Cortez, retired kid superspy, learns his sister Carmen is held captive by the Toymaker, an evil ex-operative banished to cyberspace. To save Carmen and stop the Toymaker’s schemes, he enters the Toymaker’s game, the mega-popular virtual-reality video game Game Over.

When Juni enters the game, he meets three beta testers: cool guy Rez, smart guy Francis, and tough, strong guy Arnold, who eventually choose to help him upon believing he’s “The Guy”, a figure who can help them reach the supposedly unwinnable final level of the game. Later on, the OSS, a superspy agency, offers to send in one person to help him. Juni chooses his grandpa (Valentin), once a superspy himself who had been paraplegic and wheelchair-bound for 30 years. The recurring opponent Demetra later joins their group, evasively offering her “intuition” along with the others’ brains, coolness, and strength.

But when he meets Rez, Francis, and Arnold in the “real world” near the end of the film, they don’t look as they do in the game. To this, Juni looks at them scornfully and says, "Reality check.”

Juni Cortez is a callous little fool.

Evidence

Very soon after Valentin enters the game, he gets a power-up, “Mega Legs”, which not only restores his long-lost ability to walk, but gives him incredible jumping ability and a shiny, armor-covered superheroic physique. Valentin’s great strength and mobility prove very handy for Juni and the group, and Juni turns to him for advice multiple times.

Near the end of the game, Valentin is reluctant to leave for the real world. In Game Over, he can walk and run, and Juni looks at him like he's "some kind of super hero", but in the real world, he'll be confined to a wheelchair. He agrees to go back in Juni promises him he'll look at Valentin no differently than in the game, for, even though he'll be in a wheelchair, on the inside Valentin feels like "this" (presumably a superheroic figure).

Section 2: Programmers

One level, the group knows some programmers are around; Francis describes them as "the braniacs who wrote the book for the game". As they’ll bounce them back to Level 1 to catch them as a consequence of earlier cheating, the group scatters to avoid them. However, they find Juni after he and Demetra consult a forbidden map of the whole game. The programmers menacingly taunt Juni, instantly making him lose one of his lives as they taunt him. Scared, Juni calls out for his grandpa:

Programmers: "Listen to that, E-Dawg. 'The Guy' is calling his grandpa.[Sarcastically] I'm so scared." "What's he gonna do? Drool on us?" (Valentin dramatically steps in from behind and picks them up by the scruffs of their necks) Valentin: "You are programmers? Let's see what you really look like."

Francis scans them to reveal their real appearances, showing 1980s-Microsoft-employee-style dorks. Valentin deems them "very unimpressive" and Rez snarkily calls them "computer nerds".1

Section 3: Demetra

Demetra was Juni’s opponent in a robot arena, and later tried to stop him, twice, in the Mega Race. (i.e., the world’s most intense game of Virtual Reality Mario Kart) Later, she joins the group, offering her “intuition”. When one of the game’s challenges pit Juni and Arnold against each other for the group to progress, with the loser being removed from the game, Juni fares poorly. Demetra swaps herself with Juni, sacrificing herself so Juni can go rescue his sister.

The beta testers try to “kill” (make him lose all his game lives) Juni and his sister, out of the belief Juni is “The Deceiver”, a figure in the game who tricks players and keeps them from getting to Level 5 and its “untold riches”. When they change their minds and enter Level 5, Demetra soon re-appears. Carmen confidently states Demetra isn’t real, slicing through her to expose her as just a hologram. She’s the Deceiver, an AI whose purpose was to hinder them. Juni doesn’t share Carmen’s scorn. It turns out Demetra had developed a crush on Juni, and helps them all to escape as the Toymaker tries to trap them in the game.

Juni Cortez Neglecting the Evidence

In the real world, the spy agency tracks down Rez, Francis, and Arnold from their email addresses and brings them in front of Juni. Juni still looks pretty cool as pudgy-faced preteens go, but, shockingly, the beta testers look nothing like they do in real life. Francis has no glasses and has a biker jacket, Rez looks like a 1980s Microsoft-employee-style dork, and Arnold has glasses.

Juni: “What happened to Francis the Brain, Arnold the Strong, and Mr. Cool?” Francis: “Well, in the real world, I'm not that smart.” Arnold: “I'm not strong." Rez: “I’m not cool.”

To this, Juni just looks at them with an expression that morphs from shock, to bafflement, and then scorn, and dissmissively says: "Reality check." (When his grandpa is within earshot, no less)

One might want to cut Juni some slack; he's 12, at most. Yet, Juni Cortez says this even though he’s seen Francis being smart (reading through the tech manual and reporting on it), Arnold being strong (catapulting another player out of a car, attacking him, being acknowledged as the “strongest player”) and Rez being cool. (being unflappable and leading the other two) Worse, he says this despite knowing Demetra was more than her programming...and despite just having promised his grandpa he would look at him no differently in the real world even when confined to a wheelchair.

Admittedly, they did try to “kill” (in a video game sense) him and Carmen before reaching Level 5, out of the belief Juni was The Deceiver. They were also initially unfriendly to him, telling him to get to the next level in a way that was effective but made him lose a life, and only agreed to follow him and help him upon proving he was “The Guy” in the very dangerous Mega Race. On the other hand, the previous film shows he already holds his grandpa in high regard, and though Demetra was twice his opponent, her actions weren’t any worse than someone showing off skill in a competitive video game. (e.g., Mario Kart or Street Fighter)

Valentin’s reluctance to leave Game Over parallels that of a real person: Ibelin Redmoore. (or, rather, Mats Steen).2 Mats Steen had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, a fatal genetic disorder that rendered him slumping, atrophied, and wheelchair-bound, a la the physicist Stephen Hawking. He found solace in the massively multi-player game World of Warcraft, where everyone saw him as his avatar/alter-ego, the handsome detective nobleman Ibelin Redmoore.

A friend of his in World of Warcraft, Kai Simon, said at his funeral:

"I met Mats in a world where it doesn't matter a bit who you are, what kind of body you have, or how you look in reality, behind the keyboard.”

Had Juni known Ibelin Redmoore...what would he have said?

(Trivia: Originally, I was going to write something about Spy Kids 3D, appropos of nothing, as an April Fool's Day joke earlier this year. This is just the rewritten version of the nearly-complete joke update.)

Which, in retrospect, is a ridiculous thing to say. He and the others love video games so much they're beta testers for a new virtual-reality video game in 2003, before video games were as "mainstream" and respected as they are now. Indeed, one could call Francis a nerd for his brainy mannerisms and glasses. Though...knowing Rez looks similar to one of the programmers in real life, perhaps he says this out of self-hating insecurity? ↩︎

Source: The BBC. ↩︎

#Analysis #Film Analysis #Spy Kids #Juni Cortez #Spy Kids 3-D

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hjertetssunnegalskap1 · 5 years

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Ikkje tenk på det (Lovleg)

Luna stirar på dei gule, blå og grøne ballongane som forsvinn rundt hjørnet, og Gunnhild, som er gøymd innunder dei alle saman.

Synet går som ein elektrisk støyt gjennom Luna.

Kvifor er ho så opprørt? Ho visste jo at dette skulle skje, før eller seinare. Dei bor i det samme huset, sjølvsagt ville dei sjå kvarandre. Luna kan ikkje heilt presse vekk stikket i magen som minner henne på at Gunnhild hadde sett ut til å klare seg heilt fint, utan henne. Ho hadde ledd litt, til og med, medan det statiske håret hennar sto som ein kaotisk glorie rundt hovudet.

“Eg trudde du sa at ho likte meg veldig godt,” mumlar Luna.

“Men ho gjer jo det,” smiler Billie.

“Ho verker jo ikkje knust over at vi er over, akkurat.”

“Herregud, Luna. Det var du som slo opp. Er du ikkje nøgd no?”

Luna blunkar sakte. Ho veit at Billie spør for å gi henne eit lite stikk. Billie veit godt kor lite nøgd Luna er akkurat no.

Gunnhild hadde vore varm og skinnande som sola, og utan ho er livet er grått og trist, men slik får det berre vere.

“Kvifor slo du opp, igjen? Fordi Gunnhild sovna i senga di?”

Luna stønnar. “Kjeften. Eg bad om tid til å tenkje. Den gongen ho bad om tid, dukka eg ikkje berre opp på den måten? Kvifor kunne ho ikkje respektere det?”

“Var det ikkje berre ei misforståing? Noko med blomster?”

“Eg veit ikkje. Det var ein bukett i senga, som ho hadde funne, men den var ikkje frå meg. Og nei, eg veit ikkje kven den var frå. Eller til. Eg bryr meg ikkje.”

Billie ser på henne med denne roa i blikket som driv Luna frå vettet nokre gonger. “Kva var det som skjedde på den ferja, eigentleg?”

Luna trekkjer på skuldrene. Ho veit ikkje. Det vart berre for mykje, for intenst. Og ho fekk aldri sagt riktig kva ho meinte. At ho likte Gunnhild akkurat som ho var. At ho var lei seg for at ho aldri våga å seia til Gunnhild at ho ikkje skulle lese opp diktet med bandet. Men at det skremde livet av henne då Gunnhild berre stakk av. Forsvann.

“Det speler inga rolle,” mumlar Luna. Gunnhild er berre så mykje, nokre gonger. Ho er som eit fargerikt fyrverkeri med alle dei smarte ideane og dikta og fjella og ferja og dei kvelande varme foreldra og ballongane og… optimismen. Alltid denne optimismen.

Det var alt dette som gjorde at Luna falle så pladask, så klart. Det var alt dette som gjorde at Luna vart rive med og impulsiv og… Herregud, så forelska.

Luna burde ha visst at det ikkje var ein god idé å stupe inn i eit forhold med Gunnhild. Luna er jo ikkje så god på dette her. Ho visste det, ho veit det, men ho klarte ikkje å halde seg unna.

Luna veit godt at ho kan vera mykje, òg, på sin måte. Nokre gonger svenger kjenslene hennar og ho seier dumme ting som ho eigentleg ikkje meiner. Eller ho seier det kanskje sterkare enn ho meiner. Det er berre det at Gunnhild kjem så nær. Med varmen i blikket som blir for mykje. Og med spørsmåla, som om Luna aldri speglar seg i andre.

Alt vart for nære, for tett. Skremmande tett. Luna hadde visst at Gunnhild ein dag kom til å sjå henne på riktig, og sjå rett gjennom henne, og då… Luna orkar ikkje eingong å tenkje tanken ut. Betre å trekkje seg tilbake og stikka der det gjorde vondast, sånn at ho slepp å sjå kulda sive inn i auga til Gunnhild.

Dette er best, trass alt. Luna klarar seg. Ho har alltid klart seg åleine før. Ho er sjølvstendig og sterk og lever livet sitt som ho vil.

Men ballongane. Kva var det? Gunnhild hadde sett så livleg ut. Energisk. Det var tydeleg at ho hadde ein misjon. Noko å utrette.

“Ein avskjedsfest, liksom,” seier Luna og sukkar. “Alex kjem til å hata det.”

“Ja,” nikkar Billie. “Han gjer nok, det. Men der er jo ein fin idé, då.”

Ja, det er jo det. Gunnhild er eit oppkomme av slike gode idear. Ikkje at det vil hjelpe. Alex reiser. Alt er slutt. Det er ingen veg tilbake.

“Eg hatar at han berre stikk av sånn.”

“Ja, eg veit det.”

Luna lukkar auga ein augneblink. Noko klemmer til i magen, som sult, eller frykt.

Alle berre forsvinn ut av livet hennar. Gunnhild, Alex, og…

Ikkje tenk på det.

“Eg må spørje deg om ein ting,” seier Billie med eitt. “Har du tenkt på at Gunnhild kanskje kan vere ein sånn som blir, sjølv om ho innser du er ein heilt vanleg loser som oss alle andre? Ho er jo ikkje akkurat den dømmande typen, er ho vel?”

Luna opner auga og stirrar på Billie. “Ikkje dømmande? Ho sa at vi tenkte vi var kulare enn henne, og at vi lo av henne.”

“Ja, men det var jo berre fordi ho var usikker. Herregud, Luna, eg er framleis her og eg er den mest judgemental bitch du veit om. Kva får deg til å tru at Gunnhild er verre enn meg?”

Luna må le. Billie har jo eit poeng. Og likevel… Luna hadde føkka opp skikkeleg. Sagt at det berre var eit innfall. Gunnhild kunne vel aldri tilgi noko slikt?

“Det er for seint no, uansett.”

“Å, ja? Gjer som du vil, Luna. Eg veit kor viktig det er for deg å gjera som du vil.” Billie ser på henne og smiler, og herregud så irriterande det er når ho tar på seg den allvetande mina. “Men ikkje ver så sikker på at alt er for seint. Herregud, med det fyrverkeriet Gunnhild kan eg nestan tru at til og med Alex blir verande. Alt kan skje.”

Luna seier ingenting, men ho klamrar seg til orda og kjenner ein spire av noko som liknar mistenkeleg på håp.

#lovleg #luna #gunnhild #drabble/ficlet thing #skriblerier #ingen har lest dette #så eg er lei for alle feila #og det er seint #og eg burde ikkje poste det utan å ha lest korrektur #men skit i #eg måtte berre #eg tar gjerne imot kontstruktiv kritikk viss nokon ender opp med å lese dette #:)

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titangym · 5 years

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Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up. You're right on track. -Matthew Keith Groves 5 pm - #muaythai with @ivalio2046 5 pm - #tinytitans with @anastassiya_suslik 6 pm - #bjj with @ivalio2046 6 pm - #kravmaga with @anastassiya_suslik 7 pm - #fight2fitness with @anastassiya_suslik #chicagogram #titangymchicago #kidsselfdefense #wearetitans #tgif #friday #titangym #fitnessmotivation #martialarts #kidsmartialarts #wearetitans #teamtitans #instafit #instagood #instaquote #oss #dedication #exercise #fight #workout #cardio #ivoboykov #ivolution (at Titan Gym - Krav Maga, Martial Arts, Fitness, Yoga) https://www.instagram.com/p/By-wZG-hEjP/?igshid=pb81v5nbw3vl

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thephilosopheroftheboudoir · 6 years

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Grim History

Michael Oliver, the Phoenix Foundation and Three Failed Attempts at Starting a New Nation

National Public Radio once called The Phoenix Foundation a shadowy and sinister organization. It is not entirely clear if they are still active. We do know that their founder, Michael Oliver, tried on three separate occaisions to start his own nation based on libertarian ideology. His methods involved stirring up troubles in small island nations with a potential for starting violent independence movements. Michael Oliver and the Phoenix Foundation were, at best, on a quixotic quest without any realistic chance of success.

The sixties were a time when national independence movements were thriving. The post-colonial era was at its peak and anti-Soviet rebellions were breaking out in Eastern Europe. Some of that spirit spread to the first world and Michael Oliver, a real estate developer who had made it big in Las Vegas, caught a bit of that wind. Oliver was a Lithuanian immigrant, a far-right anarcho-libertarian in ideology, an anti-communist, anti-tax activist, and advocate of strict adherence to the gold standard. In 1971, he began pitching dreams of a libertarian utopia where no government would interfere with anybody and no taxes would be paid. He attracted a sleazy group of intelligence agents, laissez faire capitalist extremists, pimps, drug traffickers and mafiosi who poured $200.000 into his scheme to build his island paradise in the South Pacific.

The Minerva Reefs, somewhat near Tonga, were uninhabited by anything other than sea creatures; this was due to their location underwater. Michael Oliver hired a team of barges to haul sand from Australia to the reef and dump it there to make an island rising above sea level. When the waves no longer covered the newly-made land, Oliver and his appointed president of the Republic of Minerva, Morris Davis, arrived with flags and freshly minted coins made of gold on one side and silver on the other. They built one tower on the island. The other governments of the region were suspicious, so they held a meeting and agreed that something needed to be done. The King of Tonga sent a small band of troops to occupy the island; they seized Minerva’s one tower, planted the Tongan flag in the sand, and chased Oliver and his goofy friends away. The island of Minerva has been a part of Tonga ever since.

Never one to kknow when to quit, Oliver saw the Republic of Minerva as a learning experience rather than a defeat. His next venture into nation building involved ex-OSS intelligence agent Mitchell Werbell and a large supply of military-grade weaponry to be used for defense and armed rebellion. 1973 was the year when Great Britain decided to set the Bahamas free and end colonial rule in that Caribbean group of islands. The white inhabitants of Bahamian Abaco wanted to remain a part of the U.K. since they feared being a marginalized minority population under a government made up of Afro-Caribbean politicians. Oliver saw his opportunity. He made contact with the people of Abaco and offered them financial and military aid in exchange for letting him build his libertarian fantasy on their land. He soon brought Werbell in a helicopter with a large collection of heavy weaponry and a newly-penned constitution guaranteeing extremely limited government and establishing Abaco as a tax-haven nation.

Mitchell Werbell attempted to build a militia by training the residents of Abaco in warfare techniques. Initially, the machine guns and hand grenades looked like fun but soon the peoples’ interest waned. They had little interest in being a utopian country where rich people could hide their money in banks to avoid taxation; they did not want their island to turn into a seedy enclave of drug runners and whorehouses. Ultimately they wanted to remain a part of the U.K. but that dream died when the British officials flat-out told them they were not interested in keeping Abaco as a British possession. Oliver began to look like a meddler and a crank. The Bahamian government easily put down the rebellion; Michael Oliver got deported and Werbell got arrested for illegal weapons trafficking. They sentenced him to prison in the United States.

The Phoenix Foundation officially started in 1975. The three trustees of the group were Michael Oliver, his friend James McKeever, and Harry Schulz, the world’s highest paid investment banker at the time. Their aim was to turn their anarcho-capitalist, laissez faire ideology into a tax-free banking nation ; their motivation was that something had to be done soon since America was losing the Cold War and the age-old right wing trope that a communist totalitarian dictatorship would soon engulf the freest nation in the world was imminent. Either that or society was about to collapse because the government makes people pay taxes. After scheming in secret for five years, the Phoenix Foundation moved its headquarters to Amsterdam to escape the prying eyes of the IRS and other government snoops. In 1980 they put their plans into action.

The New Hebrides were never officially a colony. The French and British governments came to a unique agreement to jointly administer the South Pacific island chain without actually claiming possession of it. The colonial era was winding down and both countries agreed to allow the New Hebrides to become an independent nation, soon to be named Vanuatu. The transition was to be a peaceful one and a cause for the Melanesian inhabitants to celebrate. The biggest obstacle came from a remote island called Espiritu Santo. Jimmy Stevens, a half-caucasian and half-Melanesian leader of a cargo cult called Nagriamel, had campaigned in Vanuatu’s first presidential election and lost by a landslide. Disgruntled, he returned to Espiritu Santo and declared the island to be a separate nation named Vemerana. The people in his cult rose up in rebellion, armed only with fists and bows and arrows. They seized all government property and the radio station, rioted, burned and looted buildings and blockaded the air strip to prevent any planes from landing.

Soon after that, a boat full of Vietnamese refugees got intercepted by the military. Upon inspection, they uncovered a large cache of guns and radio equipment. The boat was headed for Espiritu Santo and the ownership was registered as the Phoenix Foundation. The Vietnamese boat-people were being brought along to bulk-up the population of Espiritu Santo, although what they would do once they got there has never been fully explained.

For the Phoenix Foundation, this proved to be a minor deterrence. They flew Jimmy Stevens to the United States to petition the United Nations for statehood recognition. He returned with boxes of Vemerana flags, passports, and freshly minted coins. The Phoenix Foundation clandestinely brought in a new supply of war materiel from Fiji. Spies alerted the government in the capital of Vanuatu. The conflict known as the Coconut War had begun. Three years after the murder-suicides of the People’s Temple cult in Jonestown, Guyana, a group of white men supplying natives of a remote jungle island with rifles made the Phoenix Foundation look scary and suspicious. The Vanuatuans asked Britain and France for help. The British thought it was more trouble than it was worth but France still had troops in New Caledonia. They were transported to Espiritu Santo, albeit with no mandate to engage in any military action. When the followers of Nagriamel saw the unwillingness of the soldiers to fight, they went on a rampage and destroyed all the stores and buildings on the island. In an act of desperation, Papua New Guinea sent in a band of soldiers to quell the violence. In the end, the Papuans were welcomed as guests and fellow Melanesians; they quickly made friends with the Nagriamel fighters and the Coconut War ended without any combat.

Jimmy Stevens was arrested and imprisoned. During the trial, it became obvious that the Phoenix Foundation was manipulating him and trying to orchestrate the uprising behing the scenes. Michael Oliver and his gang of loony libertarians were deported and permanently banned from Vanuatu.

Despite being a successful businessman, Michael Oliver was a three-time loser nonetheless, and the Phoenix Foundation turned out to be nothing more than a clique of dopey rich kids who could not see farther then they could reach. This is sad because they obviously could not see very far. Maybe this is what millionaires do when they have too much time on their hands, too much imagination, too little purpose in life and only a tenuous connection to life in the real world. Wealth does not automatically breed wisdom. A nation can not be built with an excess of ideology and no pragmatic or practical plan of action.

Strauss, Erwin S. How to Start Your Own Country. Paladin Press, 1999.

https://grimhistory.blogspot.com/

#michael oliver #phoenix foundation #libertarians #vanuatu #south pacific #history #micronations #grim history

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esseastri · 6 years

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Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 11)

All right, now that it’s been 4 months and I’ve read all the other things, I realized that it’s, like, 5 days until this book has been out for a year and I should probably get the fuck on with it, so. Here we are.

Part 11 encompasses pages 828-934 (previous parts)

me in July: I’m almost done! I can finish this!

me, now: sweet christ I have a smaller novel’s-worth still to get through lord let me live

Aw, damn, I left off on Interludes, but I DON’T CARE ABOUT VENLI, WHERE MY BOYS AT

oh SNAP I WANT THAT, the ability to speak and understand all languages???? GRABBY HANDS

ah yes the “the alethi enslaved us so we should rise up and kill them by enslaving ourselves to this other, more horrible godlike being” narrative. my favorite.

sigh

why we gotta EXTERMINATE people?

I’m tired. of extermination plotlines.

Maybe. Venli and her lil light spren will stop? the extermination!? I’m here for that!

“There was an art to doing laundry” HONESTLY THO, HAVE YOU MET COLLEGE-AGE BOYS WHO NEVER LEARNED HOW MUCH SOAP TO USE? AMEN.

oh.

I forgot about Mraize.

like, literally, 100% forgot about his existence. sorry alyx.

eyy, we found Shalash!

HE WAS LOOKING FOR HER?? IT WAS A TRAP??

admiralakbar.gif

...Mraize has a babsk? I didn’t think he was Thaylen????

“A resistance is not what we caught you mounting.” UGH. PICK THE HAMMER, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Why do I feel like this is a “HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR. BRING FORTH THE BEAR” joke?

yeessssssss, VENLI!!! TAKIN RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!! I CARE NOW. I WANT HER TO BE BETTER, I WANT HER TO WORK THROUGH. GIIIRRLL!!!!

HOW LONG WILL YOU VACILLATE?

YESSSSS

gr oss? Tha nk s? for the melting flesh images??

yelch

PART FOOUUUUUURRR

that’s. so many POVs. What is this, a GRRM book?

also none of the POVs are Bridge Four and. WHEN WILL MY BOYS COME BACK FROM THE WAR.

wait, I could have sworn the Alethi had been fighting the Parshendi for ten years?? but Dalinar is talking to Gavilar EIGHT years ago?

Did I miss smthn?

Did I conflate the Shattered Plains with the Trojan War? I’m confused.

Lisa has done Math for me and found out that it was only 6 years????????? Why did I think it was ten??? I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS TEN????

“his job was to loom” heheheh

so... Dalinar is the nuclear deterrent and the nuclear threat all in one?

Dalinar, leaning into the mic: “The truth is... I am Iron Man.”

#Evideservedbetter2kForever

OH NO A BABY

TINY FIFTEEN YEAR OLD ADOLIN IS MAKING MY HEART SING

“I had this specially tailored” I LOVE HIM

OHHHHH

HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO IMPRESS HIS DAD I’M CRYING

“When censured, Adolin only tried harder.” I! LOVE! THIS! TINY! SUNLIGHT! BOY!

I wanna write fic where Adolin Kholin meets Luke Skywalker and the world literally EXPLODES IN SUNLIGHT AND SOFTNESS.

“Who could deny him?” CERTAINLY NOT ME, I WOULD DIE FOR ADOLIN KHOLIN TOO GOOD TOO SOFT FOR THIS WORLD

me, squinting: “which Herald is Ahu?”

my running method is to just suspect everyone of being a Herald. At some point, I’ll have to be right.

WHICH! HERALD! IS! AHU!

HE’S TALKING ABOUT THE UNMADE LIKE HE KNOWS THEM PERSONALLY, TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY LET THEM IN. WHICH!!! HERALD!!! IS!!! AHU!!!!

LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HERALDS. GIMME A BOOK ABOUT THE HERALDS, BRANDON!

GIMME THAT JUICY GOOD BACKSTORY, BRANDON!!!

me: why is there a map with the sea but Kholinar is on it???

two seconds later: OOOHHH DUH IT’S SHADESMAR

wack y fun!

ARE DREHY AND SKAR OKAY???? THEY DIDN’T COME WITH???

ARE THEY OKAY?

OH NO OH NOO I’M GONNA WORRY AOBUT THEM FOREVER

Adolin, say hi to your swwooooorrdddd

....the Oathgate has souls?

what?

Fearspren: gross.

I knew they were all bigger on the inside, as it were, but. #yikes?

“Kaladin’s not well.” “I have to be well.”

BRB SOBBING ABOUT KALADIN

I’M!

HE’S SO STRONG

I’M! HELP!

GIANT CLAW? UNMADE!!?? LET’S KILL IT. IDK IF WE CAN BUT CAN WE TRY??

“sword lady” HEH

ok well, at least we know Drehey is alive, since Shallain bumped into his soul, which is both TERRIFYING and REALLY COOL

YOU’RE NOT NOTHING, ADOLIN, YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND I LOVE YOU.

*long keening noises*

I FELL ON THE FLOOR

“Hey,” Adolin said. “It will be all right.” “I survived Bridge Four,” Kaladin growled. “I’m strong enough to survive this.” “I’m pretty sure you could survive anything. Storms, bridgeboy, the Almighty used some of the same stuff he put into Shardblades when he made you.” Kaladin shrugged. But as they walked onto the next platform, his expression grew distant again. He stood while the rest of them moved on. Almost like he was waiting for their bridge to dissolve and dump him into the sea. “I couldn’t make them see,” Kaladin whispered. “I couldn’t...couldn’t protect them. I’m supposed to protect people, aren’t I?”

GUESS WHICH PART BROKE MEGAN

GUESS WHICH PART DUMPED MY HEART ON THE FLOOR

ANYWAY, I’M CRYING

THISISFINE.PNG

“I’m frightened. I talk when I’m frightened.” I LOVE HIM.

ADOLIN’S HELOIGN HIM HE’S MAKIN HIM TALK TO DISTSRAT HIM AND MAKE HIM JEEP WALKING AND I”M

I LOV A SUNSHINE BOY

SO MUCH

...is Vivenna okay?

oh shiiit, Adolin is? king????

sort of? almost??

oh man, he’s gonna be SO GOOD AT IT!!!! LOOK AT HIM TAKING CHARGE AND TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE. HE’S SUCH A GOOD LEADER, HE’S GOING TO BE SOOOOOO GOOOOOOODDD AT THIS!!!!

that chapter was a Lot

OH NO A SZETH CHAPTER

I’ve only been asking for this for tHE WHOLE BOOK

but now I’m gonna be MORE SAD

.......idk how I feel about the soul-after-image thing. it’s interesting, but I’m still a lil weirded out by Szeth...you know...being alive?

huh. Vasher knows about the magic fish? So....does this validate Lisa’s theory about the fish and the birds from that other cosmere thing I can’t remember bc I haven’t read it?

holy shit, that’s a LOT of skybreakers.....

...who have been around the WHOLE TIME???? WTF

So...Szeth can hear the Spiritual Realm.....and is going to bond a spren, of the Cognitive Realm...and is in the Physical Realm... so does that make him the Avatar, Master of All Three Realms?

(while he may have a lot to learn, I believe that Szeth can save the world)

hm. they’re so...regimented. militaristic. ritualized. They’ve got tests and rules for getting in and it’s all very well-put-together. and it’s WEIRD compared to everyone else stumbling into their Ideals. Is this what is was like before the Recreance? or is this just the Skybreakers being Skybreakers?

why are there kaladin flashbacks in the dalinar book, why, brandon, why must you hurt me in this way

Brandon: *mentions Tien* Me, softly: “no”

HE REALIZED HE COULD KILL AND THAT’S WHAT TERRIFIED HIM

THISISFINE.PNG

I’M EMOTIONAL AND KALADIN IS SAD AND I’M UPSET

Also, Syl just. grabbing his arm and snuggling him is VERY GOOD, SHE IS VERY GOOD, AND SHE SHOULD BE WORSHIPED FOR BEING SO VERY WONDERFUL

“It cannot be holy. If it truly were, it would have burned me away long ago.” I’M SAD NOW, THANKS.

I have weird emotions about people losing their faiths, and Szeth’s character arc has been particularly. compelling to me.

“Here’s what you have to do: fight him and win!” has the same energy as that obnoxious Assassin’s Creed “tip” that’s like “the trick to staying alive to is get your enemy’s health bar to zero while keeping your above zero” and I’M SO PLEASED.

ooohh shit

he drew Nightblood

which I feel is NOT RECOMMENDED

# Y I K E S

Skybreakers take the “lawful” part of DnD alignments to a very unhealthy extreme

tbh they’re a lil fucked up, ngl

Skybreakers make me uncomfortable, is what I’m saying.

“he had never mastered the ‘sleep anywhere’ skill the grunts bragged about” NEERRRRDD

WHEN WILL ADOLIN REALIZE HE’S A REALLY GOOD LEADER??? SOMEONE TELL HIM, I WOULD BUT I’M TOO FAR AWAY.

oh that makes sense

I was confused for a hot second about how Vivenna knew Adolin’s kata, but she probably learned it from Vasher who...also...taught Adolin. Duh.

“I’m just a woman who has been constantly out of her league since adolescence.” Viveennnnaaaaaa, darling. You’ll be all right.

also that makes total sense--the Horneater Peaks? If they’ve got a portal, it makes sense they’re so much more in tune to the spren. Easier border crossings.

PEOPLE live in this realm? What the??

I don’t know Nazh, but the fact that he has an embarrassing tattoo due to Horneater lager bad decisions DELIGHTS ME

hm. idk why I’d sort of assumed that Dalinar went to visit the Nightwatcher before Gavilar died, but. maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it was a consequence of Gavliar’s death.

“the other one” GET FUCKED WITH A CACTUS, PAST!DALINAR

OOHH

SOFT BOY

Renarin is such a Good

also, Dalinar HUGGING is SO GOOD KEEP DOING THAT THAT WILL HELP

“Humans, you must stop your emotions. They are very inconvenient here.” I think, Pattern dear, that Shallan rather thinks emotions are inconvenient everywhere.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

HERE WE ARE AGAIN

ANGER IS ALWAYS THE FIRST STAGE OF DEPRESSION

HELLO, KALADINMEGAN BRAIN, IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU WERE SO NEATLY SPELLED OUT BUT HERE WE ARE AGAIN

“You’re not angry at anyone, you’re just looking for something to latch onto. Something to feel.” To stave off the darkness of unfeeling and anger is easy. It’s irrational and warm and so easy. So it’s always the first one to go.

“It would continue until numbness seemed preferable.” GOD YUP. THERE IT IS.

It’s still really validating and really, really unsettling to see your brain problems spelled out so succinctly.

oh lord

“Men he loved, killing each other.”

I’M UPSET

(and the very tiny garbage part of my brain goes, ‘see he LOVES Moash’)

ADOLIN TAKING THE REARGUARD BECASUE SOMETIMES KALADIN NEEDS LOOKING AFTER I’M EMOTIONAL

Syl had a different Kaladin before Kaladin?? Wild.

and GOD but the symbology of the LIGHTHOUSE in Kaladin’s chapter. I’m. <3

EEEYYYY NAVANI!!!

she made them carry their own chairs, GOD THE MEANING BEHIND THAT, I LOVE HER

“Elhokar and Adolin are safe somewhere.” ABOUT THAT....

LOPEN, PLS

Bridge Four’s unwavering belief in Kaladin is SURE A THING. I love them SO MUCH.

also, god, MY BOYS, here they are, eating all the food and being ridiculous losers at a formal event I HAVE MISSED THEM SO

god, fuc you Ialai. ofc she didn’t carry her own chair, fukin JERK

good to know the assholery of the Sadeas name is being upheld, even after his death

god, every time Taravangian is mentioned, my gut just clenches, he makes me SO NERVOUS

GOD YES OH MY GOD, LIFT VS ROCK EATING CONTEST PLS GIMME MORE

I have forgotten that I love Sebarial. Petition for him to show up more often.

OH GOOD HE’S HAVING A BAD DAY. EXCELLENT. HE’S MUCH BETTER WHEN HE’S STUPID

...unless he’s super smart today and just pretending to be stupid.

fuck

IT’S SO HARD TO TELL WITH HIM ARGH

ANYONE ELSE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE DISCUSSION OF INVADING SHINOVAR WHEN SHINOVAR IS THE ONLY PLACE THAT DOESN’T HAVE A REPRESENTATIVE AT THIS COUNCIL???? JUST ME? OKAY.

also they keep talking about Shinovar as a redoubt and a haven, but....didn’t the Everstorm--going the wrong way--destroy Shinovar? Has anyone checked??

Navani is so clever and it’s brilliant.

“Taravangian was talking about having you tour Vedenar personally”....alone....so he can MURDER YOU. BAD IDEA. ABORT MISSION.

KALADIN HAD AN OLD LADY SLAVE FRIEND WHO DIED AND I’M SAD AGAIN DAMNIT

“He’s got battle fatigue. We have to watch him when he’s sitting around doing nothing, not when he’s got a specific mission.” MMMMMMHHHMMMMMMM

the future is forbidden, but not to Truthwatchers, sooooooo... is. this “Oracle”. a.......... Herald? PERCHANCE.

(He’s not, but I AM SUSPICION INCARNATE)

Weren’t they lying at the beginning and saying that Shallan was an Elsecaller? Because Odium thinks she’s an Elsecaller for some reason. And I wonder...who he’s spying through and where his attention is focused and who told him the lie?

KALADIN JUST WANTS TO SAVE HIS DAD IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK

aight, which world does canned food come from? How far ahead is the mistborn world whose name I can’t remember right now but it begins with an s SCADRIAL YEAH THAT ONE how far ahead is Scadrial in technological progression? Where does the Stormlight Archive fall on the mistborn timeline?

ADOOOLLIINNN. TALK! TO YOUR SPREN!!!

THEY DON’T KNOW??? THE BOYS DON’T KNOW? HOW THEIR MOTHER DIED?

HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW?

oh my god

that

god, that’s a huge lie to believe for so, so long. ohhh my goddd

someone has been writing down all the Unmades’ names, right? So I can look them up in the Coppermind later and be confused and try to work out which is which and what they do and how terrified I should be of them? cool thanks.

HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND

HE’S GONNA TELL US SECRETS!!!!! ARE THEY USEFUL!? WILL I LEARN THINGS ABOUT THE HERALDS!!!!??

I have one (1) priority in this establishment

...why does Syl have color

who is she

also LIGHTSPREN/REACHERS??? COOL AS FUCK OMG

“You don’t fly, you fall the wrong way.” Hehehehehehe <3

I HAVE MISSED KALADIN’S SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES THAT ARE FUNNY BUT ALSO VERY PAINFUL god, I love him. I love him so much. idk if y’all know this about me.

...ok, but the punny banter between Kaladin and Shallan is SO NICE Why do they have to be mean to each other so often why can’t they just be terrible sarcastic pun buddies?

“In that polished breastplate and striking figure, with her talk of chasing bounties and traveling worlds. She’s deeply mysterious.” CAREFUL, SHALLAN, YOUR BI IS SHOWING.

“The feeling was friendship, but neither of them had ever experienced it.”

NOPE

NOOOOOOPPEE

WHO WANTS TO BET THIS SCENE IS SHIP FODDER DEAR LORD

Kaladin, darling, that shit is SO UNHEALTHY, DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS

god

also like. darling. no. “I wish I didn’t have to care” DARLING ALL YOU DO IS CARE WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT CARING

THIS IS GOOD FOR NEITHER OF YOU STOP

DO NOT ENCOURAGE THAT IN HER AND DO NOT WISH THAT FOR YOURSELF, jesus

lord, ok, well, I’ve read 100 pages, so on that disappointing character note, I’m going to go to bed.

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #is it still spoilers? man have I come out the other end on spoilers? oh well #Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #Brandon Sanderson #mmmmmm I HAVE OPINIONS #also cry a lot #I miss Bridge Four petition for my boys to come back

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