#other tahn that today has been a good day

[steelthroat]

You know when people on the internet say that you have to be careful about the way you talk even when putting yourself down because you could put someone else down and stuff?

I finally get it it makes sense.

I have this friend, they have many issues, and incredibly low self esteem. But they're conventionally attractive, smoothest skin one could possibly have, skinny, nice hair and many other features that are generally complimented.

And I know that this doesn't stop someone from hating themselves and their body, I am incredibly aware of this.

But also if this person comes to me and says "omg my skin is absolutely horrible, I hate it look I have a pimple" or "I am so big I hate my body" or "my hair sucks, it's so messy" than how do you expect me to feel?

My skin is not smooth nor clear, far from it, I am slightly heavier than my friend, my hair is messy and curly and kind of unkept to be honest. How do you expect me to believe this friend when they hug me and say "you're so beautiful, and pretty and I love you"?

"No, you don't think that"

Obviously I don't believe them. I don't believe they find me beautiful, the things they hate so much about themselves, that they described as disgusting... well I also have them.

I hate the fact that they openly insult themselves like that desperately seeking for me or anyone else to say "no it's not true you're beautiful". And I understand it okay? I understand their issues and their need for validation and stuff. I've been through that when I was 12, it sucks.

And it's ironic that they say "I just don't believe when people give ne compliments" okay, neither do I believe when YOU give me compliments lol. Because I can believe anyone else, but not you.

I believe I can be pretty to myself or any other person in this world, but not for you.

Because I don't hate myself anymore, I've spent years fighting myself and now that I've finally started liking myself and my body and I finally know what I aspire to be it won't be something like this to set me back. I don't have the same goals as them, I don't feel the need to change the things they hate so much about themselves because I don't care about them on myself anymore. But God, would this shit have thrown 11/12 years old me in one hell of a loop.

I just don't believe this friend is being genuine, I just really dislike the fact that they don't see any problem in scraping the bottom of the barrel fishing desperately for compliments while putting others down even if unknowingly.

Sometimes I don't even think they're doing it unknowingly, I think they feel miserable and hope that just a bit of that feeling will spill onto someone else, just not to feel so lonely in their misery.

And I pity that.

I genuinely care for this friend and won't stop being there for them or giving them compliments for that matter, at least one of us has to be genuine, I just wish it could be them for once. I just wish they didn't compare myself to me and made me feel weary of being a little bit too happy about my own accomplishments. Because no matter how much they say "I'm so happy for you! I'm so proud of you" I can feel almost pure hatred behind those words, even if it's for just a second.

[legendtraineremily]

Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th and the Force be with you all! I know I said I’d post some character bios first but screw it, I’m posting a Star Wars short story in 2 parts today! Started writing this one on a now-dead subreddit but finally got around to finishing. Now I want to share it with y’all! Hope you enjoy 😊 Love and Happy Star Wars Day -Emily

A Moment on Hoth (Part 1)

(The Rebel Alliance has been officially based in the Hoth system for a full six days. In spite of their numerous preparations, troops of all ranks are having troubles getting used to the cold...)

“D5, I don’t want to hear your complaints again,” Major Benovy Tahn preemptively told his old droid R2-D5. Its red dome swiveled in a sort of protest before the answer came.

“Doo-doo dooo dwee-oo.”

“I know, but Duron is family and him simply asking you if the heating unit is working properly is his way of giving you something to do until the hanger calls you to check our transport.” Benovy’s cousin Duron Tahn was also looking for an excuse to have some alone time with his lady friend Ellie Zael, but D5 didn’t care and would likely try to mess with the two just to relieve his boredom. Come to think of it, Benovy hadn’t seen Rillian for a bit and was beginning to think that there was something wrong in the base.

“You know what, D5, let’s go see if that command meeting is over with.”

“Bwee-oo!” D5 probably had the same thought, though with a different motive. Benovy wanted a quick kiss from his lady commander while D5 was probably looking for an undeserved compliment. The man grabbed his new favorite hat and left the barracks wing of Echo base.

Walking the maze of hall-tunnels, he eventually found the conference area. Waiting outside were a few lower officers and staff including his own, Lt. Arlan.

“Meeting still going, Gavix?” Benovy asked.

“Yeah. Apparently the Empire’s using long-range probe droids on a massive scale now. They’re trying to figure out a new patrol schedule to make sure we can intercept anything that trips our sensors.” Gavix shrugged and pointed to his datapad. “I’m just trying to get the commander to sign off on our supply request forms. You?”

“Uh...yeah. I’m just wondering if she plans to stay on-world or head back to the fleet. D5 is getting antsy about being one of the only ‘non-essential’ astromechs in Echo Base at the moment.” Gavix knew that Benovy and the commander had feelings for each other but not to the full extent (and it was best that they keep a professional relationship while around all the high command officers especially), so Benovy didn’t state his real reason for checking on the meeting.

“Whatever you say, sir,” Gavix flashed a slight smirk and scratched his trimmed beard. “If you’re okay with it, Major, I can hand these requests over to you and check on the Mamba. I saw another YT freighter getting a complete overhaul from what I understood, and I’m not in the mood to deal with T’Shran complaining over more ‘unnecessary’ work hours.” Benovy chuckled.

“The Dellian Mamba is newer and in much better shape than that old hunk of a spice crate old Solo has. Still, good idea Gav. I’ll take those reqs for ya’.” Gavix handed over the data-pad and jogged off with a shiver toward where their freighter was docked. D5 moved a scanner over the data-pad and back up to Benovy’s face.

“Dwoo-wah boo-bweep?” the droid quizzed.

“No, I don’t think we’re getting anymore of those bud. We’ll be lucky to get approved for the extra fuel we need for that Gonzati we highjacked when you rescued me. At least it’s Rillian doing the talking and schmoozing and not me.”

“Oh most definitely, Major. One more request from you of all people and you’ll be demoted to private by the time command is finished speaking.” The joking statement was followed by a laugh and the prettiest smile Benovy always longed to see.

[fnaf-is-awesome201]

I want you to talk about dinosaurs

Really? You do?! Hell yeah! Okay, I'm gonna ramble for a bit about dinosaurs so hope you don't mind if you do mind then I'm sorry. This is gonna be a long post, just warning you now.

Okay, so dinosaurs are cool as fuck and I love them so damn much. They’re just so... awe-inspiring. And they’re some of the coolest animals to ever walk the earth. Some were gigantic, with necks that stretched up towards the sky. Others were tiny, maybe even smaller than a chicken. Some had sharp teeth and claws (usually the most memorable ones like T. Rex and such) and some had armor-plated bodies (like the ankylosaurs). I love them all to death and I love how unique and diverse they were! All these fantastic beasts that one day just disappeared forever. I want to see one. I know, that’s crazy, and Jurassic Park shows how that could be a very bad idea, but I want to see one. Not just in the pages of a dinosaur book. I want something I can touch and feel and just see how truly magnificent they were. Dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus, Velociraptor, Parasaurolophus, Edmontosaurus, Albertosaurus and so many more! I want to see them all. How they lived, what they looked like, how they acted...

Tyrannosaurs are some of the biggest carnivorous dinosaurs, with T. Rex being the most famous. No one talks about the other Tyrannosaurs! Albertosaurus, Gorgosaurus, and probably several others yet to be discovered! These were the “tyrant lizards”! They’re big and scary and utterly fascinating! And T. Rex was the king. Tyrannosaurus Rex, or “tyrant lizard king”, was huge! 40 feet long on average and with a powerful bite, I’m willing to bet they were quite a sight to behold! It’s probably the most famous of the dinosaurs, and I can see why! It commands your attention and your curiosity more than most, and it makes for a great movie monster! Those huge teeth and crushing jaws mixed with it’s powerful legs and instinct to hunt make it an exciting creature!

Even so, it was not the biggest carnivorous dinosaur to roam during the Mesozoic! Even Carcharodontosaurus, the “shark-toothed lizard”, was bigger than a T. Rex! Or Giganotosaurus! I suppose T. Rex gained more of a spotlight because it’s easier to say the name, but there are so many other large predatory dinosaurs that deserve attention and public view!

The smaller carnivores are super cool, too! Allosaurus, the “different lizard” (and my personal favorite medium-sized carnivorous dinosaur) had a narrow head and large claws on it’s three-fingered hands. I’ve seen fossils up-close of these guys, and I have to tell you, it’s amazing. It may not be as big as your favorites, but it is an amazing dinosaur! They have horn-like protrusions over their eyes, and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. They are absolutely beautiful and fascinating creatures!

And as for Velociraptor, you might know them from Jurassic Park. However, the real velociraptor is not nearly as big as those ones, which stand at about 6 ft. tall. The real velociraptor was about the size of a turkey! At about 2 ft. tall and 6 ft. long, Velociraptor (”speedy/quick thief”) was a tiny terror. They most likely hunted in packs to bring down animals much larger than they are. The sickle-shaped claw on both feet was used to puncture, not to tear. They were quick and effective hunters. They were also intelligent, based on the fact that they had a large brain compared to their body size. I love Velociraptors. I really do. I want to understand how they work, what they looked like, and how they lived.

Then there’s the herbivores! Undoubtedly some of the biggest animals to ever roam the Earth! The largest dinosaur currently on record was the Argentinosaurus (”lizard of Argentina” or “Argentina izard”, etc.), a monstrous titanosaur that was about 120 ft. from head to tail and likely weighed nearly 100 tons (200,000 lbs. or so)! They were huge! bigger than even the biggest land-dwelling animals today! Taller than giraffes, even! And you most likly don’t know the sheer scale of dinosaurs like triceratops or Stegosaurus! I’ve seen a Triceratops skull up-close, and I must tell you it was much bigger tahn I thought it would be! Triceratops was about 30 ft. long, with a neck frill span of about 6 ft. and horns that could reach over 3 ft. long! It was much bigger than your car, to give you some scale! And Stegosaurus is quite a sight even as a fossil! With a length of 21-30 ft. and a height of about 14 ft., this massive dinosaur had a very tiny brain. It’s brain is said to be the smallest brain proportional to body size of any dinosaur (any brain size currently known, that is)! Isn’t that fascinating? I’ve seen them up-close, too, and I can tell you that they have a very small head for such a large animal!

Then there’s hadrosaurs, which are amazing on their own! Look up Parasaurolophus, Lambeosaurus or Iguanodon and you’ll see what I mean! There’s so many more, like Corythosaurus, Oranosaurus, Tenontosaurus, etc.! They were herd animals, staying in large groups and nesting together. There’s even evidence, like in the case of Maiasaura, that they took care of and watched over their young! Most of them were pretty big, but an even more fascinating feature was their crests. These dinosaurs often had large crests on their heads, though their function is still debated. They could have been used to make unique calls or to amplify their calls, or they could have been used to identify each other! It really is interesting to think about it!

Then there’s the real oddballs, such as Psittacosaurus, Saltosaurus, any of the Ankylosaurs, and even dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus (two-crested lizard), Monolophosaurus (one-crested lizard), Spinosaurus, and the Pterosaurs! Ankylosaurs (like Ankylosaurus or Euoplocephalus) were large, heavily-armored reptiles, with Ankylosaurus even having armored eyelids! Their backs were covered in bone plating, and they were often covered in spikes or nodules. Several also had a club of solid bone on the end of their tails! The muscle power, combined with the club, could cause some serious damage! Only the most ferocious or desperate of dinosaurs would dare to try and take on these living tanks! The only way to have an advantage would be to hit it from beneath or to flip it over, which wouldn’t have been easy. Spinosaurus was quite an odd creature. With its odd proportions and dense bones, it was likely quadrupedal to help balance it’s weight. It had large, heavy, hooked claws on its arms and a long skull filled with cone-shaped teeth, perfect for catching slippery fish, but not so good for tearing flesh. They were very top-heavy, and likely walked on their knuckles like an anteater so they didn’t dull down their claws. Then there was the sail. It’s still unknown what exactly this sail was for. It would have made it a bit more difficult to move around, but it may have been used to regulate body temperature or to serve as a display! There’s also a possibility that it had webbed feet! While it may look very weird to us, Spinosaurus was perfectly adapted to life by the water! Dense bones helped keep it submerged, likely with only it’s nose and eyes above the water (like a crocodile), while it’s teeth and claws helped it hunt fish and other water-dwelling creatures! Basically, all of that weirdness had a very unique and cool purpose! Spinosaurus looked very different from the Spinosaurus in Jurassic Park 3, but it’s still just as cool! Then there’s the Pterosaurs. Some as small as bats or small birds, and the largest being about the same size as a small plane! They fill a specific role it the prehistoric world, later filled by birds! Pterodactyl was not a dinosaur, but Pterodactylus was! The largest of these creatures, standing taller than a giraffe and with a wingspan of about 50 ft, was Quetzalcoatlus. It’s thought they were likely scavengers, like vultures, but may have occasionally caught their own food. Some Pterosaurs would travel long distances often to reach their nesting grounds, while others did not. Like bats, Pterosaur’s wings were made up of a skin membrane stretched between the body and the elongated finger making up the outer edge of the wing. They were light-weight animals, and everything about them was evolved to make them perfect and graceful fliers, though this likely made them very awkward when on the ground.

Then there’s also the prehistoric marine reptiles! Mosasurus, Tylosaurus, Plesiosaurs, Pliosaurs, Ichthyosaurs, and many more! Ichthyosaurs were basically like the dolphins of the prehistoric oceans! They had almost fish-shaped bodies and long, usually toothed beaks. I’d definitely recomend looking up a picture of these guys! They breathed air like all reptiles and did not have gills. All prehistoric marine reptiles breathed air, similar to today’s sea turtles or sea snakes. Mosasaurus was a large predatory marine reptile, with lots of teeth and a long, slender body with a powerful paddle-like tail and four flippers instead of legs and feet. Tylosaurs are similar (I think... if I remember correctly...), though if I remember correctly, not all of them had long tails, and some had large powerful flippers instead of a long tail. Plesiosaurs had a very long neck, a small head with interlocking teeth (essentially creating a fish cage), and a large, slender body with a very short tail an four large, powerful flippers. Some of these animals preyed upon other marine reptiles and larger marine creatures, while others only ate fish and other small marine creatures. They’re all so unique and look nothing like anything we have today! And there’s so many more that I haven’t even talked about that I would seriously encourage checking out!

I’ve loved dinosaurs for as long as I can remember. I even still have my first dinosaur book! It’s a neat picture book full of pictures of dinosaur sculptures and dinosaur names! I have a sauropod plushie that I’ve had forever! He’s a little beat up and has a few places where he’s been sewn back up, but I still have him! And I have a model Kronosaurus that I can show you if you’d like! I love dinosaurs so damn much, and I really want to know more about them! I want to know what colors they were and what their skin feels like! I want to see one someday, but until then, fossils are just as good! I FUCKING LOVE DINOSAURS AND THEY’RE SO COOL AND I WANT TO PET ONE SO BAD!

Anyway, that’s my long, rambling post about dinosaurs! I’m glad I got that out! Hope I didn’t confuse you or bore you. I just really love dinosaurs and get super excited and disorganized when I talk about them! I love them so much and they’re really amazing once you start learning about them!

[amma-af]

mid-life crisis fast approaching lmao.

bruh moesha made 30 seem hella old. im freaking 29, im definitely not old.

do all 30 year olds feel this? is this fucking cliche? is this what being a millenial feels like?

freaking. andell seems like she should be at least 45 shes had a business forever, she looks oldish, hella independent with ehr own moneey, yeah she keeps getting played by her lover but the d is probably great and she doesn’t need “love” bc she’s not dependent on it for basic necessities. but she needs love so she has hope. she’s woke but understanding when someone who doesn’t understand yet. she supports the kids but says it like it is. i can def see some bits of myself in her but bruh, at least 35? bc im 29 and 1 im not as independent, and 2, im def not as old.

but i also kind of get how shes a 30 year old but do 30 year olds get the respect of older people? does andell get respect from older people? idk man tv makes teens look like 20-something and 30 eyar olds look like my mom. dee hangs with andell, she’s def not 30. but then again we hang with older people, no?

are 30 year olds friends-ish with teens and like older folks all at once a millenial thing? i mean i def have older friends bc of work, and hang with my siblings who are a generation older and as a teacher i talk to kids who are teens but i wouldn’t be friends with them? unless you consider my nieces and nephews, and some much younger coworkers.

but if im “superior” to them in some way im basically a mentor and ugh. maybe andell is 30.

that same moesha episode has gotten me thinking about highschool. and what a fucking shitfest it was. i mean, why the hell was i so pressed instead of just being a fucking kid? like, i def ended up where i wanted to and realized it sucked even more (college), esp the way i did it initially, but once i got over the fucking ivory tower and american dream bc i reallized it was never made to include me to a certain extent (the whole identity crisis over foreclosure of identity from the every day--being unwanted by the same thing interpellating its allegiance to you, how all that crap felt of being a --insert almost every pressed identity grouping here-- at a fucking --insert ever agrandized fucking included, repressive identity force here--insitution. high school wasn’t bougie enough i think. like everyone was like closer to the ground class wise so maybe it didnt feel like a big enough ocean yet. a friend told me post highschool or maybe at graduation that im going to be the big fish in the little pond trying to swim in the ocean or some quote like that. fucking i was, if not socially which i honestly didnt even try and fucking got ostracized from anyway, def on top academically and fucking TEACHERS were trying to push me down but like i still got to exactly where i wanted to go. and i fucking had a wonderful time there. got kicked out but became a whole ass human being who found so many homes with people and so many loving arms and caring friends and fucking insane moments and memories and fucking became who i am today--a fucking cool as andell like adult with a full and complete social life if not financial or career life like im ok dude. ive accomplished enough even if capitalist might make me feel like i havent accomplished anything. much like the racist ass teachers made me feel and the racist ass kids made me feel about being smart in a fucking shitfest and where the other brown kids were just in competition with me. i had no friends. i lie, i had a few. and i had the respect of a few. and i guess that makes like maybe a dozen people--hold on let me count, i think 9 people, that im cool with from high school, 3 who are close to me, 1 who fucking hates me post-college life and would try to talk shit or ruin me maybe but i miss her and we were fucking close at some point. and then a bunch of people who probably dont give a shit no longer bc we’re all adults who need to move on with our lives. i hope theyre not petty and hate me just bc of high school.

i wonder if any respect me now lol. aside from those i know, do any of them like feel bad kind of for not being a better person to me? maybe i was a bitch too though. but thats only bc i was lowkey power hungry and just wanted to get into fucking the college of my dreams and had been fed that academic success led to fianncial success and overall joy de vivre  or however oyu fucking spell it.

id still be down to be friends with whoever wants but dont have the time or energy to deal with the pettiness. i think this year was supposed to be our 10 yr reunion and idk if theyll do it bc of covid or not but fucking would i even wanna go? im still so traumatized from it idk if id wanna be judged that hard again.

fucking, i wish i was chiller back then. had realized i could be creative and look good and be more confident if i wanted to. but i guess i wouldnt be who i am had that shit not happened but i also suffer from extreme anxiety adn depression now so like maybe, people could ease up on the judgement and hatred and constant barriers and shit talking and like, lowkey bullying down a notch. these white and white washed brown kids had me fucked up.

i wish i had just like, been able to chill and be accepted a little more. but i wish the people who were chill with me couldve been more  comfortable or confident in being who they were. 

i remember ending freshman year, confident that i would have friends at the end of high school sitting between the coolest and queerest two people i could imagine showing off my hot pink ipod 3G or whatever. and then hanging out in the city with a few people on the last day. i dont even remember what we did. maybe olive garden in times square? it was def times square. the big toys r us in the city with the dance dance revolution. who the fuck were the people with us? was that even freshman year or is that a memory from some other time? i dotn fucking remember much of the good times in high school anymore. more shitty times.

but fucking, if people had been loyal would i have been a diff person? def s j and j and then later n but w during the first year and d all hugn out with me in college. and made freshman year bareable and some sitll continue to make life bareable and for me to feel loved in this day adn age adn i know the freindshipsare genuine now but i wonder if id have more people from high school as my friends just bc i fucking get attached to people bc of the whole empathy thing and like we knew eachother for good chunks of our lives, we should keep up with eachother and make sure we’re ok. but also like, did we even show care back then?

i wish id lived the teen life a little more though. like my husband did. like so many of my more normal than me feeling friends did but i wonder how many of my college friends actually liked their high school years lmao.

fucking. whatever. i probably wouldnt go to the reunion if it happened tho, fucking miss me with that shit.

andell is cool. she didnt get mad at moesha for missing her party since hs ehad a great time on her birthday thanks to her, and instead was proud that she put out a good newspaper. im def like, maybe if aliha missed my party id be happy and proud of her for her acocmplioshed but id still be pouty adn idk if that makes me much younger tahn andell or if thats just the whiny cancer gemini in me.

omg we need andells chart to udnerstand if she’s actually 30 lmao and just mature for her own age or if that show is trippig about depicting her as 30 bc shes def oldr. wonder how old the actress was.

thats an easy google fix but im just gonna keep watching and pondering lmao.

man there were some teachers at that fucking school who did not wanna see me succeed in life. and to have your advisor be that teacher really fucks with you. what a fucking bitch i think she hated me. the other people im friends with loved her tho but i think she was really just a racist. she pushed me hard but made things harder for me for no reason. thank god i got out of there in one piece, and with some confidence left in me. 

i need to go to therapy again fuck. 

[evannalumibeginning-blog]

:the third:

Evanna smiled and kissed Thomas once more, then he left her room and Evanna made her way to the bathroom. When she got out, she walked to the kitchen, feeling a bit anxious about the boys, wondering if they had noticed something about her’s and Thomas’s behaviour. The boys were sitting around the kitchen counter and the smell of tea and toast made it’s way to Evanna’s nose. It was delicious and she heard her stomach growling, accepting her mind. She walked to the counter and poured some tea in her cup: it was just black tea. Totally and utterly normal. That was another thing she liked about the boys: they weren’t full- on glamorous. They liked normal things. “Good morning.” she murmured to boys and they greeted her with the same sentence, all smiling. Evanna leaned against another red brick wall and took a sip from her cup. The tea was hot- just exactly like she preferred it. Evanna let her eyes move around the room and she noticed, that Thomas and Endeavour weren’t in the kitchen. Calvin was sitting under a big window and was drinking his tea, texting someone and talking to Vincent on the same time. They were laughing about something.. not laughing, tho. Giggling. It was another one of those things what Evanna loved about them. They weren’t so macho- men like some of their fans were thinking. They were still boys. Not men- boys. She glanced over the counter and watched how Alistair was reading something out to Aloysius- they had a newspaper in front of them and Evanna made her way next to them, grabbed a toast from Aloysius’s plate and took a bite. He wasn’t against it, just laughed a bit and continued to listen what Alistair was saying. He read an article about their upcoming tour and they were discussing some tiny details what the newspaper had gotten wrong. Evanna smiled at them and apologized for interrupting them: “Hey. Sorry, but where are Thomas and Endeavour?” Alistair shrugged, but Aloysius pointed at the gym door: “Probably there. They like to be there. They’ve known each other for the longest time here. Well.. I mean.. they knew each other before they auditioned. That’s what I wanted to say.” Evanna let that sink in and thanked Aloysius, then she walked towards the gym, ate the last bit of her toast and took another sip of her tea. She was wearing a dark- purple soft dressing gown, a grey T- shirt and her red underwear. She felt comfortable around the boys, because they walked around the apartment like this all the time. Evanna didn’t even have her bra on, because she didn’t like to sleep with it on. She inhaled deeply and opened the gym door, lettign herself in and wrapped her dressing gown around her a bit more. The gym was freezing again and she looked around. There was a lot of equipment there, plus a big mirror, what was covering one of the walls. The balcony door was opened and Evanna saw Endeavour and Thomas sitting on the balcony floor, talking and she saw their teas steaming. Evanna walked a bit closer and felt the cold concrete floor under her feet- it was something what calmed her down a bit, but she still felt anxiety sneaking on her. What if they’re talking about me and Thomas? she thought. Well, it would probably be easier for her, if Thomas did all the talking. but she wasn’t still entirely sure about their relationship, because they had only kissed. Well, they had kissed a lot, since last night, but still. Just kissing doesn’t really make you a girlfriend.. or does it? Evanna walked even more closer and now she was able to hear what they were talking about. “I’m scared I might hurt her someway.” Thomas said, Endeavour sighed, “You can’t hurt Evanna, Thomas. And I have to be honest, if You ever hurt her, I will turn my back on you. I will totally be on her side.” Thomas nodded, “And I will not be mad at you for doing this, because if I ever hurt her, I won’t be able to forgive myself, Endeavour. Sincerely.” he paused for a moment and Evanna could see the tears in his eyes when he looked up at Endeavour. “I am not going to hurt her, Endeavour.. but I’m scared that the Management will.” Evanna flinched back and gasped. The boys seemed to hear it, because she was so close to them, and they got up. The first one to come back inside from the balcony, was Thomas, who hurried to her, but stopped in front of her, holding himself back. Evanna felt a bit nauseous, and dizzy- which meant that her anxiety was back. Endeavour came right after Thomas, but he knew exactly what to do: he grabbed Evanna’s teacup and his hand grabbed her waist, stopping her from falling. Thomas seemed to be in shock, but he came closer and they helped Evanna sit on the floor. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked Endeavour, who was caressing her back, shushing and trying to calm her down. “She is having a panic attack. Like yours, but she gets dizzy and sick.” Thomas exhaled, sat next to Evanna and took her hand, playing with her fingers. Evanna looked up at Thomas, surprised. “You have panic attacks as well?” she asked, Thomas nodded and Evanna looked at Endeavour, “Why don’t I know anything about this?” Thomas snorted, but didn’t answer, “Do the other boys know about this? I mean.. your panic attacks?” Thomas nodded, Endeavour was still patting her back, but didn’t disturb their conversation. “They do know.. just.. they don’t know how to deal with it, you know. Endeavour does.. so they always get him. And when I get a panic attack.. it’s more complicated. If I would just get dizzy and nauseous, it would be a lot better.. I’m not saying that your panic attacks are easy! Definetly not, but..” he looked at Endeavour, who sighed, “Thomas’s panic attack makes him throw up and doesn’t let him breathe. That’s what he meant.” Endeavour said, looking at Thomas, face very serious. Evanna frowned at Thomas and coughed a bit, feeling all the cold around her. “Yep..” Thomas seemed a bit disturbed to share that information, but he squeezed Evanna’s hand and smiled at her, “Do you feel better now? What even got you so anxious? Were you listening to us?” Evanna nodded and Thomas sighed, closed his eyes and leaned his back against the wall. “Well, then I get it.” he said, eyes still closed. Endeavour nodded and Evanna’s gaze was moving between the two of them, “I don’t know why it happened, tho. There wasn’t really anything that could make me so anxious.” she said, Thomas shrugged, “There is, really. The Management will not be really happy to find us out..” his voice was raspy and Endeavour nodded, “True. The whole thing with Patricia wasn’t very pleasant.” Patricia was Thomas’s ex- girlfriend, who the Management forced on him, because she was a wannabe- singer and they wanted to promote her career. Well, it definetly happened- promoting her career, but it didn’t last for long. She got bored of Thomas and broke up with him. Thomas had no idea about Patricia’s and the Management’s plan until she broke up with him. It had been devastating for Thomas, but he didn’t like to talk about it. Never. Endeavour told Evanna couple of weeks ago, when they were talking about how their lives were going and Evanna was pretty shocked to find out. Thomas looked at Endeavour, a bit pissed, but when Evanna nodded, he seemed to be a lot calmer. Endeavour got up from the floor and walked back to the window and looked out of it. “But you can do this, you know.” he said to Evanna and Thomas, who were still holding hands and smiled to them. “Evanna is stronger tahn you think she is, Thomas. And Evanna.. you probably already know what Thomas is like.. well, what I’m trying to say, is that you two are meant to be together. I’m not saying it like we’re in a cheesy movie or something, but I mean it. You can do this, ok? Don’t give up.” he smiled at them and Evanna sighed, feeling Thomas squeezing her hand. “Do the other boys know about us?” she asked, looking at Thomas, who shaked his head and Evanna nodded. “Well.. we shouldn’t tell them yet.. or should we? I mean.. sorry, Endeavour. It’s..” she mumbled and laughed nervously, “We have only kissed.. does it make us a couple? Or what? I mean.. I’ve never been in a relationship before..” her voice was shaking a bit. Endeavour laughed at them, “Come on- I’ve been seeing you two looking at each other like you’re in love for the last 3 weeks at least. Be real now. We live in the same apartment. I think you should tell the other boys.” Thomas nodded, although he looked a bit doubting. “I mean.. it’s okay for me, but are you okay with it, Evanna?” she nodded in response and Thomas smiled. The first real smile that she had seen today, after they kissed this morning. He inched closer and cupped her face with one of his hands, smiling at her, “Endeavour, please look away.” he laughed and Evanna heard Endeavour laughing as well. Then Thomas kissed her, deeply but gently, with a lot of passion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, smiling. Thomas was so sweet and amazing and Evanna couldn’t believe, that there were people out there like the Management, who wanted to ruin some people’s love lives. Thomas smiled, kissed her once more and pulled away. “Alright. We should get back, shouldn’t we?” Evanna nodded and Thomas smiled at her, helped her up and Endeavour walked out of the room first. They entered the kitchen and everybody turned to look at them. The first one who noticed Thomas holding hands with Evanna, was Aloysius, who jumped up and mouthed: what the eff?? Evanna felt Thomas laughing next to her, silently, he didn’t make any noise, but he was laughing. The other guys were just looking at them, lips curled into three sneaky smiles. Aloysius just looked at them and started laughing now. Evanna let out a breath that she didn’t know was holding and Thomas laughed even harder. “Alright. How long has this been going on?” asked Vincent and got up from his spot next to the window, “Erm..” Thomas looked at Evanna and started laughing again, “Two days. EH. No, since yesterday.” Aloysius stepped closer to them and Evanna laughed; she understood now, how weirdly it sounded and how stupid they seemed. Vincent laughed and walked up to them, high- fived Thomas and kissed Evanna on her cheek. “Good one. You two look great with each other. And really-” Vincent looked at the other guys for a second, “from now on, you will have a hard time. You two-” he pointed at Evanna and Thomas, “are going to have a hard time now. We’re talking about our Management here, they are real eff- ups. SO- they are not going to be happy with you two together, which means, that this apartment..” he paused for a moment and looked at the other guys, “I know I’m the youngest, but really, I am pretty sure that I am talking for all of us.” the others nodded, Endeavour as well, who sat on the kitchen counter and nodded to Vincent, so he could continue, what he did: “anyways- this apartment is your safe place. Like, really. Don’t be embarrassed to be together here, because we all know, that you won’t be able to be together outside this apartment. Sorry, Evanna, but that’s true.” Evanna nodded and Thomas planted a light kiss on top of her head. “SO-” Vincent continued again, “You are allowed to kiss when you’re around us others and we all will support you. Ok?” Evanna smiled and felt tears streaming down her cheeks: it was the sweetest thing she had ever heard. She let go of Thomas and hugged Vincent. Then all the other boys gathered around her as well and hugged her, Aloysius smiled, “You know- we are like five older brothers to you, ok? We will protect you.” Evanna smiled and for the first time in such a long long time, she felt safe again. It felt good. 

Evanna was sitting in the living room on the sofa, Thomas next to her and they were watching The Simpsons. Thomas’s fingers were entwined with her’s and her head was resting on Thomas’s shoulder. Endeavour went out for groceries with Vincent and Calvin, leaving Evanna with Thomas, Alistair and Aloysius. She enjoyed being with Thomas. She had resisted even thinking about him for so long, that now, she felt like she was holding her breath for the whole time and was finally able to breathe again. Evanna checked the clock and frowned at Thomas, “You have to go on an interview in half an hour, you know?” he sighed and pulled Evanna closer, “I know, but you’re coming as well. The Management called us this morning before I woke you up. They want you to come as well.. well, I mean, the interviewers want you to come as well, because they want to know all the dirty secrets about what womanizers we are and how many girls we sleep with. Yea. They really ask those questions.” Evanna looked at him, face full of total surpise and Alistair nodded, talking in his sweet accent. (He was from the north.) “That’s true. They once asked us how many condomes we went trough in one week. Well, needless to say, that when that question was asked, the Management just shouted: next question and they moved on. We truly get that a lot.” Evanna snorted and pulled away from Thomas, looking directly in his eyes. “But what’s the answer for these questions, tho? I love with you and I still don’t know what you’re up to every time I can’t see you anywhere.” she looked at Alistair and Aloysius, “and I mean you as well. What the heck are you up to when you’ve disappeared to somewhere?” they laughed and Evanna frowned, “I mean, really? It’s polite to answer.” Alistair shrugged, “I don’t really do things like that. You know, when you’re famous, you really don’t want to pick up every girl you see just to eff them. It’s kinda risky.” Evanna snorted and hit his arm with her leg, “You’re disgusting.” Aloysius laughed, but nodded. “Alistair is right. Thomas is the only one who has ever had a girlfriend before you arrived. The rest of us were attractive enough I guess.. it doesn’t make any sense, really.” they all laughed and Evanna nodded. “So, as I understand it- you don’t take girls at home? Like, ever?” they agreed with nodding and Evanna shrugged. “Alright.” Then she got up from the sofa and sighed. “And as you said that I need to come as well, I need to go and wash my hair now. Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I would be grateful.” she looked at the boys and they were looking at her, confused. “I was trying to act British- all your posh behaviour and so on.” the laughed and Evanna smiled, curtsied and left the room to go to the bathroom. 15 minutes later, she came out, fully ready and went to get dressed. When she opened her bedroom door, she saw Thomas laying on her bed, reading a book, what was on her bedside table. It was “Breaking Dawn” by Stephenie Meyer, but in Estonian. His brows were tightly together and he seemed very disturbed by the fact that he didn’t understand anything. Evanna smiled and closed the door behind her, “Hey. What are you doing?” she asked, Thomas smiled to her and lifter up her book, “This is impossible. How on Earth do you read it?” Evanna laughed and walked into her walk- in- closet, pulled on some jeans and put her bra on, then she walked out, holding a t- shirt in her hand. She didn’t feel exposed in front of Thomas, because all the boys had seen her like this. Plus- they had gone swimming one day and she had looked pretty much the same with her red swimsuit. She was already used to it. Thomas smiled at her and Evanna smiled back, when he got up from her bed and walked to her, slid his hands on her hips and kissed her, tickling her them with his fingers. Evanna smiled and pulled away. “Are you ready? Because we need to go soon..” she looked around her room and noticed Thomas’s black t-shirt on her bed. “Is that your t-shirt? Why is it here?” Thomas smiled and touched her lip with his finger. “I wanted you to wear it. You know.. to give some little hints to the world. Is it okay for you?” Evanna smiled and nodded, pulled Thomas closer to her again and kissed him on his neck, because his mouth was too high for her. Thomas let out a gasp and Evanna felt his whole body tensing up- it seemed to be his weak spot. She smiled to herself and kissed it again, Thomas gasped again and his breathing got heavier, then she pulled away. She wanted to tease him and it seemed to work. Thomas grabbed her waist, but didn’t kiss her, just looked at her. “You are amazing, Evanna. Sincerely. I love you so much..” then his tender smile disappeared and he frowned, “But we have to talk to the Management before we go. We need to make sure that they know about us. It’s a rule.. a silly one, but it’s still a rule. I mean, if you’re okay with it, then we’ll talk about it. If not, then we won’t.” his face was a bit worried, but Evanna only nodded and smiled. “We will tell them. It’s the right thing to do. But what happens if they don’t allow us to.. you know.. be together.” she asked, Thomas bit his lip and looked down, “Then we will not be allowed to show it outside this apartment.. or I mean. We can’t show it when there could be someone watching. We are one of the biggest boybands, Evanna. There are fans everywhere. We have to be sure that they don’t see us.” Evanna nodded in agreement and kissed Thomas’s neck, he whispered something like shit and grabbed her waist again: “Evanna, if you continue to do this to me, then I’ll just drop dead in front of your feet.” she laughed at him and reached for his face, cupping it with her hands. “And we definetly don’t want that to happen, don’t we.” she said and touched his lips with hers whilst talking to him. Thomas sighed and his eyes slid halfway shut, “Crap, just kiss me, Evanna. You’re driving me mad.” Evanna laughed and kissed him, smiling. Then they heard a knock on the door and they heard Endeavour’s voice coming from there: “Hey, lovers. I know that Thomas is there, so please hurry up because we have to leave in two minutes. The Management called- they want to discuss everything trough before we go on that interview.” Thomas smiled and rolled his eyes and shouted back: “Yup, coming in a sec.” then he kissed the top of her nose and pulled away, handing her the shirt and she pulled it on, then she pulled on a colorful knitted cardigan and a pair of jean- blue Converse what had different laces on. Thomas smiled at her and took her hand as they walked out of the apartment together, meeting all the boys in the hallway, just before the lift. She saw the boys talking to three people- that was probably the Management and Evanna felt Thomas squeezing her hand. There were three of them. Evanna had seen them before as well, but not from this close: mr. Jules, mrs. Pattera and mr. Bernard. They were arguing over something and when mrs. Pattera looked at Evanna and Thomas, gasping, she knew what they had been talking about. Mrs. Pattera had a blonde bob haircut, dark red lipstick on and she was wearing a pencil skirt with a white shirt. She pursed her lips and walked towards them, makin Evanna shiver a bit and Thomas sighed in frustration. Mrs. Pattera lifted her chin up and looked at their entwined fingers, “So. As I heard, you two are a couple now. Mr. Matthews, how the hell did this happen?” she seemed to ignore Evanna and looked straight to Thomas, who sighed and nodded. “It happens like it happens, Beatrice. Maybe you don’t understand it, but I do. So- Evanna is my girlfriend. What do you do about it? What are your obligations?” he sounded rude, so Evanna squeezed his hand and he inhaled deeply. Mrs. Pattera didn’t seem to be disturbed by his rudeness. She looked back at mr. Jules and mr. Bernard, who instantly walked closer to Evanna and Thomas. They were wearing black suits and looked way too posh and formal for a morning interview. And since they didn’t even appear in front of the cameras, it seemed even weirder for Evanna. They were standing behind mrs. Pattera and staring at Evanna and Thomas with disgust in their faces. Evanna felt her anxiety coming back, but when Thomas was holding her hand, she felt calmer. Mrs. Pattera smiled at them and looked behind her back; mr. Jules started: “The first one: You are not allowed to show it in public.You can’t kiss in public, you can’t hold hands in public or you can’t even flirt in public. You can not show your affection to each other or to your fans out there. The second:” he looked at mr. Bernard who continued, looking directly in Evanna’s eyes: “You can’t talk about your relationship or even give any hints in interviews. And by the way- you are going to get some quiestions today in the interview. They want to know all the tiny details, which you can’t give. Every time they ask you something, you have to look to us. We will give you directions about what to do next. Or, if the question is too personal, we will make them move on.” Evanna nodded, but she was too nervous to smile at them. Mrs. Pattera lifted her chin ever higher and was looking at Evanna with despite, “And if you break any of these rules, we will crush you. Do you understand?” Evanna swallowed and her anxiety came back. Mrs. Pattera seemed to notice that and smiled with satisfaction. “Good.” she said and turned her back to Evanna, walking into the elevator, both men following her. After the doors slid shut behind them, Evanna felt dizzy and the other boys rushed to them. “Are they really serious??” Endeavour asked and Evanna felt her knees going weak; nothing had really happened. She was just sensitive about people who made her sure, that she was nothing. That she didn’t deserve to be happy. At school, a lot of people used to let her know, that she was worthless and she’d hated it. It mostly happened when she was younger, but she was still sensitive. Thomas caught her before she could fall and held her up, pressing his face into her hair. “It’s okay. Sshh.. calm down, Evanna. It’s okay.” he said and the others nodded, “It’s going to be alright. We will have your back.” Calvin said and smiled to Evanna. They nodded to her and Evanna nodded back, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Then she stood up straight and Endeavour’s phone buzzed. “Okay. Our cars are down.. they say that..” his brows furrowed and he sighed, looking at Thomas and Evanna. “.. they say that Evanna and Thomas are going separately. That Evanna is going alone on one car and the rest of us is going in another one.” he set his jaw in frustration: “They are really a bunch of arseholes.” Thomas gasped and looked away, his jaw was set as well, but he seemed more angry than anything else. Vincent punched the wall with his fist and looked out of the window, then he looked back at the rest of them and sighed: “There are a lot of people out there. You ready?” he looked at Evanna, who nodded and inhaled deeply. They walked straight to the lift and when they walked out of it, to the front door of the apartment block, they all looked at each other and sighed. Aloysius stepped a bit forward and nodded, they could hear all the fans screaming. “Alright. Let’s do this.” he said and Evanna looked at Thomas, who was standing behind her. He was pretty upset, but nodded to Evanna and then looked at Aloysius, who nodded again, opened the door and walked out. After him were Evanna and Endeavour, who helped Evanna move in the crowd and helped her to the car. After them, Vincent and Calvin came out and the last one to leave the building was Thomas. Endeavour walked trough the crowd so quickly, not to mention that in front of them all, were two security guards and there were about 5 security guards around them as well, keeping the fans away. Evanna heard everybody screaming around her and she was very surpirised, when someone shouted her name. After that one shout, she heard some more and smiled to herself, Endeavour walked in front of her and helped her to get to her car. When she got in, she sighed and Endeavour smiled, saying: “See you in a bit.” what made Evanna smile. Endeavour closed the door and Evanna fastened her seatbelt, leaned back against the car seat and closed her eyes. The next time she opened them, they were inf ront of a big hotel. There weren’t so many people there as in front of the apartment, yet, but Evanna still got a bit anxious. She was used to waiting in the apartment for the boys to come back and, depending on what type of an interview the boys were having, she was a) watching them from the TV or b) watching their older interviews... or c) studying. She had to do that a lot as well. Evanna heard her car door opening and she saw Endeavour, smiling at her. He reached for her hand and helped her out of the car. The other boys were already making their ways towards the hotel and Evanna saw Thomas looking back for a moment, but he hid his curiosity with a slight smile to the fans. Then he entered the building. Evanna’s fingers wrapped themselves around Endeavour’s hand and he helped her to move through the crowd. Evanna saw some girls crying over the joy of seeing Endeavour and they were reaching for him. He said hi to a lot of girls and smiled at them. He aslo waved with his free hand and Evanna smiled as well, hearing her name being shouted from the crowd. She was still anxious and wanted to get inside; all she really wanted to do on that exact moment, as to escape this crowd. Endeavour pulled Evanna along and in a moment they were safely in the building. When the door slammed shut behind her, Evanna let out a sigh of relief. Endeavour didn’t let her go and walked towards the door in the end of the reception. He walked through it and pulled Evanna right after him; they ended up in another hallway, which had one door right next to the entrance and another in the end of the hallway. Endeavour closed the door behind them and pointed at the door in the far end of the corridor: “That’s the interview room. We’re going there later on. Right now, we’re going here-” he opened the door right next to them and pushed Evanna in. He let go of her hand and Evanna let out a sigh of relief when she saw Thomas leaning on the side of a table. He was looking down and chewing his lip, fingers nervously tapping the table where he was sitting. Calvin was standing next to him, whispering something to him and Evanna looked around the room, to be sure that there were no fans or other people except for the Neverland and her. Even the Management wasn’t there with them. Vincent and Alistair were standing by a tiny window and they were looking out: the view was just another wall, nothing else. Evanna looked at Endeavour and tiptoed, to reach his ear, whispering: “Are there any cameras in here? I mean.. am I allowed to go to Thomas, because it looks like he’s about to have a breakdown. Really.” Endeavour looked around the room and when his eyes found Thomas, he nodded and pulled Evana with him towards Thomas. Calvin turned around and sighed when he saw Evanna and Endeavour coming closer. He stepped closer to them and whispered something to Endeavour. To Evanna , it sounded like: he is almost having an attack. Endeavour breathed out through his mouth and stepped closer to Thomas, who looked up, eyes dull, but red. Endeavour said something to him, before reaching for Evanna and pulling her closer. When Thomas saw Evanna, he exhaled in relief and pulled her against him. “They are such dicks.” he said and Evanna nodded, “The Management, I mean. I didn’t mean anyone else.” Evanna snorted and nodded again, smiling up at Thomas. Then the door opened and Evanna instantly pulled away; Thomas tried to pull her back, but when he saw, that the interviewers arrived, he just sighed and pretended like he was stretching. There were two interviewers: a blonde beautiful girl with blue eyes and legs up to the ceiling and a brunette, who’s eyes were deep brown. She was a bit shorter, but they still looked pretty formal and very pretty. Evanna looked at Thomas, who was now smiling to the girls and stared at the floor. The girls were introducing themselves as Doreen and Phyllis and they shaked hands with everybody- including Evanna. They all introduced themselves back as well and even Thomas was able to smile wide and flirt with the girls. It was the part of his character- Evanna had seen it so much before, and since the Management told them not to show their affection to each other, he stayed in his role. The blonde girl- Phyllis- smiled to Evanna and winked at her: “If it’s not too personal to you, we would like to ask some quiestions from you in the interview. About the boys and how do you feel and so on. Is it ok for you?” Evanna smiled at her kindness and nodded, “It would be lovely.” she answered and Phyllis smiled- she had perfectly straight white teeth and a very beautiful smile. She winked again and waved at Evanna, whilst walking away. After the girls had chatted with the boys, the left the room and the Management came in. “Alright, boys,” mrs. Pattera said, ignoring the fact that Evanna was with them as well, “Let’s make some interviews.” mrs. Pattera looked directly into Evanna’s eyes and smiled to her, eyes full of hate. They boys walked out of their waiting room and straight to the other room, where the interview was going to take place. Evanna looked around and gasped- everything was so set up and interesting. There was a red couch, big enough for seven of them to sit on it.. tightly together, but still; then there were three cameras, four cameramen and a lot of lights. Next to the couch there were two sofas, where Phyllis and Doreen were sitting and they smiled at the boys. The cameras were already on, because they needed to go through the whole introduction part again- all the boys told their names whilst shaking Phyllis’s and Doreen’s hands and some of them even asked how they were doing. Evanna went to shake their hands right after Thomas- Endeavour pushed her in that place, so she could sit between him and Thomas. She smiled at both of the girls and sat down on the sofa, smiling. Endeavour sat next to her and next to Endeavour was Vincent’s spot. Now they were all sitting on the couch, smiling and looking around the room; Evanna was squeezed between Endeavour and Thomas, who weren’t nervous at all.. well, they had been doing interviews for so long already, that it was like breathing for them. At least it seemed like it. Endeavour casually lifted his foot on Evanna’s knee and smiled at her; this was his secret move of calming people down. Evanna instantly felt calmer and safer, although Thomas was sitting next to him. She looked at Phyllis and Doreen, who were asking the boys how their day had been so far and what they had done. Vincent answered to that and smiled to the girls, who were probably older than any of them. “Uhm.. we woke up.. ate breakfast.. uhm..” he looked at the boys and bit his lip: “I went shopping for food with Endeavour and Calvin and.. well, now we’re here. Nothing very interesting hasn’t happened today.” Evanna felt Thomas’s body tensing up next to her when Vincent said the word very. She smirked and continued to listen, her gaze flickering between the interviewers and the boys. She dind’t want to look at the Management until she really had to do it. Phyllis asked the boys how it was to live with a girl in the house and they all laughed. “Well, she feels like family already. When you’re so together all the time, you get used to people and you start to feel more comfortable around them. And Evanna has been with us for a month now, I guess. And before that, she skyped with Endeavour a lot, so we kind of got to know her like that as well.” Vincent said and the others nodded, “Yea. There isn’t anything about her to feel weird about. She feels like a sister, basically.. well.. she doesn’t feel like a sister..” said Aloysius, leaning forward and glancing to Evanna and then Thomas, who was staring at the floor in front of him, Aloysius continued: “She feels more like a best friend, really. It doesn’t really matter if she is a girl or not. Not for me, at least. I mean, I have two younger sisters, so I’m quite used to having girls around.” they all laughed again, except for Thomas, who was still not out of his staring- mode. Phyllis nodded in response and smiled at Aloysius, then she turned at Alistair and Calvin: “But what about you? What do you think about having a girl around all day like this?” Alistair pouted and laughed, “Well, she is studying a lot as well, so she isn’t around all day.. but when she is, she is a really fun person to share an apartment with.” he smiled at Evanna and she smiled to him, Calvin nodded: “Yeah. She is funny and caring and not very shy, when it comes to talking about certain things. She really says what she’s thinking, even if it’s different from what we think. I think that’s really cool.” Doreen and Phyllis nodded again and Evanna smiled to herself, looking at the boys. Doreen looked at Endeavour and smiled to him, cheekily: “And to you, Endeavour? What does it feel like to have your best gir- friend around all day?” Endeavour laughed and he lifted both of his feet on Evanna’s lap, so his shoes were on Thomas’s lap: “It’s amazing, really. I am very happy that she was okay with coming to our place for the whole summer and the whole tour as well..” the interviewers eyes went big and the boys smiled; Endeavour looked around the room to find their Management and he looked at them, smiling: “Haven’t we said that yet?” they shook their heads and Endeavour smiled, tilting his head a bit, “Uhm, yeah. She is coming on tour with us this year. Her parents trusted me to keep her safe, so I’m going to try my best.” they all laughed again and Endeavour looked at Evanna, who smiled brighter than she did before and Endeavour winked at her, trying not to start laughing. Doreen and Phyllis murmured something like “good” looked at Thomas, who was stll staring at the floor, “And Thomas,” Doreen started and Calvin had to poke him with his finger to make him notice things around them. Thomas looked up and flashed a charming smile at the interviewers, who instantly blushed and Thomas sat up more straight, moving his left hand casually on the back of the couch, where their heads were resting. Evanna felt his fingers gently touching the back of her neck, when he did it and she smiled a bit. Doreen continued: “what do you think about Evanna living in your bachelor apartment?” Thomas smirked and huffed, “It’s okay, I guess. I mean, it doesn’t feel very different from before she came, because she is always studying or reading a book or doing some writing in her laptop and so on. I mean..” he sighed in slight frustration, “It’s.. fine. I have nothing to complain about.” he smiled at the interviewers and they smiled back. Evanna swallowed and looked at Thomas, who licked his lips and bit them, whilst staring at the floor again. Evanna felt how tense his whole body was and she sighed, looking at the interviewers, who smiled cheekily at Evanna. “So, Evanna, what do you think about living with the boys? Are you ready to ditch some dirt?” Evanna laughed and nodded, “Alright. Yea, I’m ready.” Doreen started: “How does it feel to live with such womanizers all the time? Like, how many different one night stands have you seen so far?” Evanna lifted her brows and her mouth fell open for a second; her mind told her to defend the boys, but then it remembered, that she had to look at the Management to answer. They shook their heads and Evanna smiled at the interviewers: “None. Honestly. I haven’t seen any one- night- stands.” Doreen pouted her lip a bit, but then Phyllis continued: “Who is the messiest?” Evanna pulled a face and looked at the boys, then she looked at the Management. They were pointing at Thomas, but Evanna wasn’t okay with that answer, she furrowed her brows and shook her head at the Management, ignoring them: “They are not messy at all, to be honest. They wash their own dishes and do their chores. The apartment is very clean as well. If we’re talking about the messiest person in the apartment, then that would probably be me.” she said and the boys started laughing, Evanna looked quickly at the Management and saw them shaking their heads, but Thomas nodded, noticing the Management’s reaction: “She really is messy. She leaves her school- stuff everywhere. Like, I mean it. Her textbooks and notebooks are in every room, basically. I mean, not in our rooms, thank God for that, but still. They are in the kitchen, in the living room, in the hallway.. even in the gym.” the boys laughed and Evanna nodded. “Yup. That’s true.” she looked at Thomas, who was staring at her, lips tightly pressed together and his eyes were flickering between Evanna’s lips and eyes. Then he turned away and started staring at the floor again. Evanna sighed and looked at the Management, who seemed furious; she felt Endeavour’s fingers tugging her hand and she looked at him, smiling. Endeavour leaned closer and whispered: “You did great.” and smiled at her. Evanna rolled her eyes, but thanked him anyways. She didn’t pay attention to the questions anymore, only when they asked her opinion, or when they asked something directly from her. And before she realized it, the interview was over.