#otherwise it was one of the best reviews I’ve gotten

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tetsurou Kuroo || Kiss Kiss, Fall in Love 🍃

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | main blog ||

If ever two were one, then surely we. –To My Dear and Loving Husband || A. Bradstreet

🍃 A love story as told through kisses…

↠ Requested By: Nobody, I just had an ~i d e a~, Mr. Krabs ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW quip-y floof with a dash of angst for flavor lol ((but my blog’s 18+; if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Pre and post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: As I’ve said before, Tetsuro Kuroo is his own warning tbh lmao. But he cute so we’ll let it slide. Aside from that, that dash of angst that I mentioned before comes in the form of allusions to pre-time skip Kuroo’s rocky home life. I don’t go super into detail, but it does get touched on in the second and third sections; there’ll be a more in depth note before said sections. Also the general stresses that come with being a third year are touched on in the second section. ↠ Betas? Nah, we good. ((we are indeed, not ‘good’, but I’m too lazy/weird to actually work with a beta lol)) ↠ Total WC: 6k~

Inspired in part by my girl Zaira (@screamin-abt-haikyuu)’s post and my corresponding review. It’s a v. cute, fun read (tho it does start off with some angst, but it gets cleared up in short order, promise!!)—I highly recommend both her and her work, tho y’all probably know that already lol. It was definitely the kick I needed to get this installment started…

So once again I may have gotten a bit carried away with the First Kiss section—and by ‘may have’ I mean I definitely did, but it’s not my fault! With this being my first time writing for our dear chemistry rooster I’m still gathering my thoughts/HCs about him and how a relationship with him would function so things are naturally a bit more wordy. Plus I’ve found that I really like writing banter with him because you just know he’d match you word for witty, quip-y word and I love that type of energy.

But anyways!

Actually there isn’t really an ‘anyways’ this time around, so uhh, have at it ig lol…

First Kiss 🍃 Partners, in Crime and Otherwise || WC: 3.2k~

CW/TW for one very brief mention of Reader’s questionable sleeping/eating habits—as in they forget to eat, esp. when stressed, and sleep in regular intervals in v. much a foreign concept to them ((me, projecting? it’s about as likely as you think lol)).

“Hey, ____, can I uh, can I talk to you for a minute, babe?”

Ignoring the butterflies that immediately set themselves to fluttering in your tummy at the casual use of the petname, you give Kuroo a smile and a nod before excusing yourself from the group. Several of your friends give you knowing, overly amused looks that you also chose to ignore, opting instead to take the hand that’s offered to you.

As Tetsurou leads you away to somewhere more private, you focus on keeping your steps measured as the last thing you want is to trip over your own feet in front of your overly teasing best friend turned crush. You just know that he’d end up making a quip—“Can’t stop yourself for falling for me, eh?” or something else equally cheesy—that’ll send your heart and mind both into overdrive even as the former shatters just that little bit more.

You wish he meant all of the sweet little things he says to you, that his flirtation could be something more than banter, but you know that’s not in the cards for you. You’ve never been one for the whole ‘friendzone’ thing, as people are not vending machines that you put friendship coins into until a romantic relationship falls out, but at the same time you cannot help but to feel like a citizen all the same. And that’s just fine! Really. It’s not as if Kuroo owes you anything, least of all his affections, but…

Well that doesn’t stop you from craving them. And honestly how can you not, when he’s so damn amazing?

For all his teasing he’s so very kind, looking out for the whole of his team and all of his friends with a level of attention that would leave so many others burnt out. But for Kuroo it isn’t a burdensome task, or at least not one that’s too great for his broad shoulders to bear; it’s just a part of the way he’s built. And when it comes to you specifically he’s always so gentle, even when he’s getting after you in one way or another. He knows you better than you know yourself some days, and he’s always there to fill in the spaces where you’re lacking. He’s sensitive to your every mood and very much in tune with you as a whole, so much so that it almost gives you hope–

But no. There’s no point in chasing a sun that has already set.

If Kuroo wanted to be with you he would’ve made a move by now, surely. In all the time you’ve known him he’s never once shown any real interest in you in that way, not even when various classmates had come to confess to you—in fact he encouraged you to say yes on several occasions! That is decidedly not the behavior of a guy who’s harboring feelings for you. But despite all this you still want to believe that there’s something more there so badly, and Kuroo with all of his (somewhat questionable) charms doesn’t help matters.

The sweet little names he’s always calling you are the worst perpetrators and perpetrators of your foolish hopes. Babe, baby, honey, sweetheart, my little quark (that one’s admittedly a lot-a-bit nerdy, but it leaves your cheeks burning just the same, and is honestly among your favorites)—the list goes on and on and on. You know you should tell him to lay off, but there’s a part of you (that greedy, selfish, mildly masochistic part that’s all too willing to latch on to even the smallest scraps of affection) that cannot do without it. And so you allow him to unwittingly cut into your chest with every word, to peel back the layers of skin and muscle and bone with each new display of care to toy with your heart.

But it won’t do you any good to focus on any of that, ever, really, but especially right now when he’s clearly got something important to tell you.

When you finally stop walking you find that you’re on the very edges of the school’s grounds. The pair of you often come up here when you want to get away from the rest of your friends and just breathe a bit. Lately it’s become a weekly occurrence, with every Wednesday seeing you both making your way to this towering tree to share lunch.

“The third year slump is real,” he had told you with a tired laugh from where he rested his head in your lap, his feline eyes reduced to mere slits thanks to the way your fingers moved against his scalp. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to make it through the week, never mind the whole of the school year if I didn’t get to recharge with you like this, so… Let’s make it a thing, yeah?”

And of course your silly, lovesick self was quick to agree.

That had been nearly two months ago now, but the memory plays with stunning clarity in your mind’s eye. In the now, Tetsurou gives your hand a little tug as he urges you to sit beside him. Gentleman that he is, he’s already spread out his jacket to give you a cleaner option for seating—“But of course my lap is always open to you, cutie.”

Your response comes in the form of an eye roll as you gracelessly flop down next to him. “So you wanted to talk, nerd?”

“You’d better be glad I know love you me or else that shit would hurt.”

You can feel your face heat a bit at his words, and you find yourself willing him to go on with a groan of his name.

“My little tsun-tsun,” he laughs as he pokes at one of your cheeks, though the sound is a bit strained. “That’s um, actually why I wanted to talk to you though.

“Okay, so,” he starts after a deep breath. “I… Man, this is harder than I thought– Heh, um. You, erm, you like me, right?”

You blink dumbly at that. “What? Of course I do, we’re best friends–”

“We’re more than that, ____, and you know it.”

“…I do?”

“Well I would hope so—we’ve been dating for almost two months now… Haven’t we?”

His voice loses a bit of its annoyance and all of its surety as he takes in the thorough confusion and extreme shock that are both fighting for dominance in your expression. He stares at you for a long moment and for the first time you find yourself able to hold the hazel of his gaze without any problems, too stunned to drop your eyes as you normally would. Kuroo’s own eyes twitch, followed soon after by the pouting of his mouth and a crinkle of his nose (It’s so cute, why is he so cute??), before the whole of his handsome face contorts itself into a grimace as he allows his head to fall back against the tree’s trunk with a heavy sigh.

“Shit. I cannot believe Kenma was right.”

“…About?”

“This, us—you not knowing…”

“That we’re supposedly dating.”

“Yup.”

He lolls his head towards you then with an unreadable expression. Those sharp, all-seeing eyes rake over your face, clearly searching for something, before he turns back towards the horizon. You try to will him to look at you again with your own probing stare, but he refuses the bait and now it’s your turn to sigh out your frustrations.

“I, uh, yeaaah… Gotta be real with you, Tetsu, I’m pretty much lost here,” you tell him. “When did this even happen? We’ve never been on a date as far as I know—hell, you haven’t even asked me out–”

Apparently that’s enough to finally get him to look at you again.

His indignant sputtering of “I– Wha? Yes I did!” leaves you rolling your eyes as you give back an equally impassioned “When?!”

“Damn near two months ago to the day!” He sits up straight now, leaning towards you in his excitement and damn near looming over you as a result. Were he anyone but who he is to you you’d probably be intimidated by the action, but as it stands you just cock a brow at him as you wait for him to explain himself.

“Remember when we had that really special lunch, and-and I confessed—or at least I thought I did—and you agreed! Did you really not know? Was I not clear enough?”

You try to remember the day in question only to find that it’s the very one you’d been thinking about just minutes before. You quickly run through the whole of your interactions—a thing that’s far too easy to do given how your brain apparently sees fit to catalog and preserve damn near every second that you spend with this boy—in an attempt to figure out when exactly he confessed, though nothing there screams ‘I like you, please be mine’.

In fact the only thing that really stands out is– Wait.

“Keep being my partner in crime?” “Yeah, Tetsu, of course—always.”

“That was you confessing?”

“Well, yeah…”

His voice has gone sheepish in a way that you’re not used to hearing from him—in fact the whole of his countenance is shot through with nerves, and were you not so caught up in your own incredulity you would’ve thoroughly enjoyed not being the one on their back foot for once. But as it stands you just drop your head down into your palms with a groaned out laugh.

“So all those study dates–?”

“Actual dates, yeah. I wanted to take you out to do something a bit more romantic, but with midterms coming up and things with our clubs piling on—well, I couldn’t let our grades suffer, yanno?”

You nod a bit at that. Putting grades before fun is very much a Tetsurou Kuroo thing. “And Wednesdays–”

“Our standing lunch dates.”

“Guess this also explains why you’ve gotten even more annoying about my sleep schedule and eating habits.”

“Well I gotta make sure my baby stays healthy! You’re always forgetting to eat, and it only gets worse when you’re stressed,” he reminds you. “And honestly even if we weren’t a thing, your hydration levels and sleeping habits are still atrocious.”

Well, he’s got you there.

“And the flirting?”

“That’s always been real, from the very start,” he admits. “I’ve kinda had a thing for you from day one.”

His words are equal parts validating and exciting, and the heady mixture leaves you spinning, just a bit, as you mutter out a quiet, “I, um, same.”

His lips pull off into that smirk that you love to hate as he teasingly nudges your arm. “Figured as much. I mean, it’s not like you’re out here making bentos and fetching forgotten water bottles and cheering yourself into laryngitis for just anybody.”

Way to make me sound like a Stage 3 Simp. (Not that you’re not, mind, but still.) Aloud, “That was one time, and it wasn’t my fault—that match was intense!” you grumble with a laugh. “But no, no I’m not. Just like you’re not out here taking extra notes and incessantly flirting and making dates that aren’t dates with just anybody.”

“No,” he parrots with a grin, “no I am not.”

The pair of you fall silent for a beat before the ridiculousness of the situation hits you in full. You cling to one another helplessly as you laugh—long, loud, and hard—before settling into your shared embrace. It should feel a bit odd, you think, being cuddled up with him like this. Despite how close the pair of you are, Tetsurou’s always been very respectful about the way he touches you. Was what you had assumed to be his way of keeping things platonic actually his not wanting to potentially give away his secret before he was ready to?

Yeah, probably, you silently decide when he presses you in more closely to his side with a contented sigh.

“I kinda feel like I should apologize,” you tell him once you’ve settle more fully into his embrace.

He stirs a bit at that, golden eyes finding yours as he lets out a confused hum. “Why?”

“Because I must’ve seemed like the world’s worst partner,” you reply, laughing a bit.

“Ah. Yeah, well…” He shrugs before leaning his head against yours. “I honestly thought that you were maybe regretting saying yes. You didn’t really act any differently—not that I was expecting a huge change considering how close we already are, but… I dunno, you just didn’t seem interested in getting to know me on that level. And you never initiated anything, uh, physical. Not that I was expecting anything like, yanno, that!” he quickly amends. “It’s just, I thought you’d at least want to hold my hand or something, but… It had me wondering if maybe I just didn’t do it for you, you know… looks-wise.”

You have to choke out a laugh at that. Tetsurou Kuroo is unfairly handsome and he damn well knows it, has even used it to his advantage on occasion—the time that he charmed a free scone out of that barista when he was too broke to actually buy himself one comes to mind, and that’s saying nothing of the fact that he’s never paid a late fee at the library, despite the fact that he never turns his books in on time—so to see him doubt this is absolutely unreal, and not in a good way. Not liking the feelings fueling the unsure quality of his voice, or the way it all makes your heart seize, you steel yourself to say something you know you probably—no, definitely—will get teased for later (and by ‘later’ you mean less than a minute after you say it).

“I’m only gonna say this once if for no other reason than I don’t need your ego getting any bigger than it already is, but… You are very much so my type, looks and all, so yeah. That’s uh, that’s out there now, so no doubts, okay?”

The same intense flush that you can feel heating the whole of your face spreads across the planes of his own to stain his cheeks with rosedust as you speak, but this sweet display doesn’t last for long, unsurprisingly. The shy smile that he’d been giving you at first slowly sharpens until it’s a full on shit-eating grin.

“‘Very much so your type’, huh? Prove it then.”

Oh no. You know that tone. He’s about to say something that’s gonna leave you wanting to dome him while somehow simultaneously dissolving into the ether.

You don’t want to ask, probably shouldn’t for the sake of your sanity, but—“…How?”

“Kiss me.”

Yup, there it is.

His expression’s so fucking smug that you don’t want to give in on principle, but goddamn if he doesn’t wear the look well…

As you continue to weigh the pros against the cons of conceding, Tetsurou’s confidence begins to falter again, with his smirk drooping as he rubs nervously at the back of his neck. “Hey, look, if you don’t want to, that’s cool! I was mostly joking anyways, like at least ninety-seven percent jo–”

You cut off the rest of the sentence with a press of your lips to his cheek. “No doubts, remember?” you gently chide as you urge him to turn his head towards you fully.

“No doubts,” he repeats, nodding a bit dumbly as if he hadn’t actually expected you to act. He smiles then, soft and sweet, as he leans in closer. His nose brushes alongside yours once, twice, and then he’s finally kissing you properly.

That first press of his lips is a tentative thing, so much so that it would almost seem teasing if it wasn’t so obvious that he was nervous. But nerves soon turn into excitement, desperation, action. You know for a fact that you’re not the first person that Tetsurou’s ever kissed, and it shows in this moment. His hands cradle you expertly, guiding your head and the rest of your body as needed until you’re kissing one another as if you were created for no other purpose.

Once you’re finally forced to part you find that he’s maneuvered you onto his lap and isn’t at all keen on letting you go—not that you really want to move, of course, though the positioning does leave you ducking your head down a bit in embarrassment. And with your boyfriend (of two months now, apparently) being who he is, he cannot help but to pick with you a bit.

“Tetsu, baby, stoooop,” you half laugh, half groan somewhere in the middle of one of his quips.

His grin is sharp and directly at odds with the way his eyes soften into something gooey and sweet as he looks you over. “Oh, so I’m your ‘baby’ now, huh?”

“Tetsurou…”

“What? I’m not mad at it at all, it’s just… nice. I, uhh, like it, yanno? Makes all of this feel real, like you’re just as into me as I am you.”

“Tetsu, I–”

“No, it’s fine,” he tells you with a shake of his head. “Well it’s not fine fine, but it’s fine.”

“I’m so glad you cleared that up,” you reply with a snort of laughter. “But seriously though—I am sorry. Had I known we were actually dating things would’ve been different, I would’ve been different.”

“Well you’re definitely good enough to me on the platonic side of things that I wasn’t completely left wanting, but I guess relationships make me greedy. I wanted all of that and this. To be honest, I…” He pauses then, uncharacteristically shy as his fingers trail down the lengths of your arms to tangle with your own before continuing on. “I want everything with you, ____.”

The admission leaves your cheeks burning, but you don’t dare look away—not now, not when he’s being so vulnerable with you and impossibly sweet. Your quiet reply of “Same” leaves you both smiling, albeit in two totally different ways.

His replying grin is heart stopping, truly, striking that balance between cute and cocky as effortlessly as ever. You cannot help but to be drawn in by it, your lips grazing over his as you say something about making up for lost time.

“Mmm, yeah, definitely, buuuut–! Looks like classes are about to start up again.”

You chance a glance over your shoulder where your fellow students are indeed preparing to head back inside and the sight leaves you sighing. “We could just ditch you know–”

“____!”

“Don’t say my name like that,” you laugh, “you sound like some old, pearl-clutching auntie!”

“Rude. I do not–”

“Oh you totally do! What happened to being partners in crime, huh?”

Your digging tease leaves him huffing out a laugh. “Conning a barista out of various pastries is one thing, but skipping class is another beast entirely. That shit can really impact your future.”

“And petty crimes won’t?”

“Not if you don’t get caught.”

“The same could be said for ditching.”

“Yeah, but–”

The pair of you continue on this way as you head back towards the main building, hand-in-hand—an old, familiar act made all the more precious by what you now know.

Volleyball Kiss 🍃 No Doubts (Remember) || WC: 1.1k~

One last CW for talk of the strains and pressures of Kuroo’s home life. Again, I don’t go super into detail, but I do make it clear that all of that as well as the general stressors that come with being the team’s captain as well as a third year (fuck those scholarship/college entry essays, amirite?) are getting to him. But luckily for him, he’s got his lovely little partner to help pull him out of his head.

“Can’t sleep?”

The question shocks Tetsurou if for no other reason than he was sure that everyone else had already fallen asleep, desperate to catch up on the rest that nerves had robbed them of the night prior. It may only be a half hour from their school to the stadium, but every bit of energy that they can acquire, no matter how seemingly minuscule, really will count down the line. The chorus of light snores are cut through by the occasional cough or dull th-thunk-ing of the bus rattling over something in the road; an odd lullaby to be sure, but one that three years’ worth of away games have taught him to appreciate.

Under normal circumstance the familiar refrain would’ve seen him drifting off along with everyone else, but his mind refuses to turn off this morning. His thoughts have been rapidly oscillating between various plays, the breakdown of rival teams’ structures, the welfare of his own teammates, and eventualities that he has no real way of evaluating or controlling. It’s an endless, near vicious loop that he’s yet to find a means of escaping in (relatively) quiet moments such as these, and so he’s resigned himself to suffer until an adequate distraction presents itself.

In truth he’s been mentally running himself ragged for the past week, with his anxieties reaching a resounding crescendo the moment he stepped onto the school grounds just a little while ago. If it were just the tournament he could probably deal, but it’s not just the tournament. It’s the tournament and the half dozen-plus entry essays that are sitting on his hard drive in various states of completion and the school year that he needs to survive with his GPA intact for those things to even have use and his mother who’s already exhibiting symptoms of empty nest syndrome despite the fact that he’s still here and Hitomi visits at least once a week (never mind that neither of them has actually lived with her in over a decade).

Dozens upon dozens of responsibilities and obligations of varying import have finally complied enough to reach critical mass, and the resulting internal meltdown is a thing that he’s been determined to weather alone.

Because Tetsurou Kuroo does not share his burdens, he bears them—resolutely and without complaint.

This is why he’d been all smiles and encouraging words and back slaps and everything else his teammates expected of him when he arrived this morning. He could do no less, be no less, not when they looked to him for stability. He’s sure that Kenma, Yaku, and Kai had seen right through his façade—never mind your knowing frown—but you all had been wise (not to mention kind) enough to keep your observations behind your teeth. After all, it wouldn’t do for the others to find out their seemingly unflappable captain’s just as capable of harboring doubts as the rest of them.

His kohai setter might be the brains, but Kuroo’s role runs deeper in some ways. He’s in the team’s very cells, the nucleus that gives direction, brings structure. To allow his misgivings to visibly manifest themselves would be extremely selfish, in his opinion, especially when he knows the worst of them will fall away once he’s on the court.

And so he sits here in the still and silent of a too early hour on a dreary January morning, nursing his thoughts with eyes pinched shut and mouth set in a hard line. Sleep is not a thing he’ll be entertaining anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be.

“I can hear you thinking,” you say, answering the question of why you too are awake before he’s forced to ask. “I would ask you what is it that’s got you so wound up, but that’d be kinda silly, huh?”

He pushes out a huff of air through his nose at that, as much of a laugh as he can muster at the moment. When you squeeze at the hand that has been firmly in yours since you’d both settled in, he knows that it’s a silent call for him to unburden himself, and yet he hesitates. It’s not that he doesn’t want to confide in you—well, okay, that’s a lie. He’s never been one to share his fears easily, never wanted to risk making himself a nuisance to those closest to him (to risk having yet another person he cares deeply about leave him behind because his needs extended beyond the extent of their capacity to care).

But if knowing you—loving you and being loved in turn—has taught him anything is that when someone truly cares for you they’ll be there, however and wherever you need them, for as long as you need them. So long as he’s brave enough to make the jump he knows you’ll be there to catch him on the way down.

Still, he doesn’t open his eyes, not yet, settling instead for a shrug that he’s sure you feel more than see as he’s careful not to displace you from where you’re leaning heavily into his side. Though the reply is hardly one at all, you’ve long since learned to speak Tetsurou Kuroo fluently.

“Worried?”

“Mm.” (Though it pains me to admit it, yes, yes I am.)

Your thumb follows the length of his own in slow, steady strokes as you tell him, “Don’t be.”

“Hmm…” (Easy for you to say, sweetheart. You’re not the one that’s gotta get out there and preform.)

“You guys have been training hard, yeah? Have done everything you can to prepare?”

“Mhm.” (You know we did, you were there.)

“Then there’s nothing else for it. Trust in your team, trust in your training, trust in yourself. You got this, babe.”

The feeling of your shifting is the thing that finally sees his eyes opening. Overcast skies have turned the whole of the horizon into a uniform sheet of white-grey and he finds himself blinking hard against the muted brightness. When his inner lenses finally decide to play nice and focus you’re smiling that perfect little smile of yours—the one that you save just for him, and grace him with liberally. He mirrors the sentiment, slow and easy, as he allows his forehead to come down to rest against yours.

“Remember—no doubts.”

Those words have been a mainstay in your relationship since you’d uttered them all those months ago, and the callback works as well as it ever does. His smile softens down into something sweet, private—an expression saved solely for you, one that he knows you think is just as perfect as the one you’re giving him—before falling away under a chaste press of lips.

“No doubts,” he echoes, voice decisive and heart steadier than it has been in a long while.

One Hundredth Kiss 🍃 Questionable Decisions that Bear Repeating || WC: 900~

CW for one use of ‘kitten’ as an endearment (Reader receiving). Also more mentions of Kuroo’s jacked up home life. His parents’ divorce (and the resulting emotional fallout) really did a number on him, and while he’s determined to rise above it all he’d be lying if he said it doesn’t still get him inside his head from time to time. Luckily for him he’s got a sweet, loving, and supportive partner that’s more than willing to help ease his thoughts and fears…

“Looks like you got the first problem wrong, and if you used this formula for the subsequent ones—and I’m guessing you did—then that means they’re all wrong too.”

You stare blankly at the essay before you, the words that you’re supposed to be scrutinizing for the sake of your boyfriend’s GPA dropping out of focus until they coalesce into a formless, graphite hued blob. Biting down on the dread that’s attempting to claw its way up from your stomach to settle inside your chest, you blink hard a few times and take one deep, steadying breath before slowly looking down past your knees to the man that sits with your legs in his lap. A too small bed in an equally small room makes the positioning more of a concession than a comfort in the same way that your calling what Tetsurou is doing ‘sitting’ is being extremely generous. In truth your boyfriend is one of the worst manspreaders that you’ve ever met, though in his defense his stature doesn’t really allow for him to not sprawl.

Still, he’s taking up a good chunk of real estate in your dorm, with his long ass legs stretching over the side of the mattress and far beyond, to the point where his feet are nearly under your desk. As for the rest of him—his back’s slouched against the wall at what has to be an uncomfortable angle while the hand that isn’t holding your (apparently very much wrong) calculus homework busies itself with rubbing a soothing pattern against your calf. It would be more effective, you’re sure, if it wasn’t accompanied by a golden gaze shuddered with pity.

“That… cannot be right. I spent so long on those problems, Tetsu!”

“I know, baby.”

“And I triple checked to make sure I was using the right formula because I knew I kept getting them mixed up–”

“I know–”

“I even had you check for me! So how—fucking how—is this even possible?” You pause again as another thought suddenly takes you. “Tetsurou Kuroo. If you’re trolling me right now, on god…”

He holds your stare (glare) for a beat, then two before his mouth starts to twitch with the beginnings of a laugh. When you growl out his name the dam bursts leaving him cackling like a hyena as he doubles over.

You pull your legs up towards yourself as you tell him, “You’re the absolute worst, you know that?” When he only laughs harder you nudge him just as hard with your feet in a bid to push him out of your bed. It doesn’t work, of course, he’s built way too sturdily for that, but the sentiment is there at least. “Ugh, I swear I cannot stand your childish ass! You stay on some bullshit…”

“Oya?”

“Oh no—we are not starting that mess. Get out, I don’t want to look at your stupid face anymore–”

He snorts at that. “Oh so now my face is stupid, huh?”

“Yup,” you’re quick to reply, popping the ‘P’, “and your hair is worse. Ol’ chemistry rooster looking headass. ‘What is a comb?’ headass. All the gel in the world can’t do nothing for all these damn cowlicks headass–”

Your next quip devolves into a squawk followed by peals of laughter as your man quickly pulls you down the length of the bed so that he can cage you in. Retribution comes in the form of a flurry of kisses that are interspersed with the odd nip to your vulnerable neck and collarbones; all the while you’re left to laugh wildly as you try to fend off his attack. It’s only when your giggles turn into something more breathless and wanting that he decides that you’ve been properly chastened. He kisses his way up your neck and over your jaw, stopping just shy of letting his lips brush against your eager mouth.

“If I’m all that, kitten, then why do you love me so much, hmm?”

“Because I make questionable life decisions, obviously.” A coquettish air replaces the snark that would usually color such a retort, with your voice wrapping around the words in a sinuous purr instead.

He hums at that, his lips slurring along your skin until he’s able to breathe his reply directly into your ear. “In that case, wanna make another one—or several—with me right now?”

“Oh hell yes…”

“Well somebody’s eager. No second thoughts, questions, concerns… Doubts…?” Though his tone is equal parts playful and teasing, there’s something buried in the heart of it—of him—that harbors doubts of its own.

It’s that same part that leaves him clenching desperately at you on days when childhood memories try and convince him that love is transient and that vows are made to be broken– That part that has him begging you to be that one defiance to everything he knows and stay on nights when he thinks you to be soundly asleep– That part that drives him to do better by you than what he’s been shown, and to be the kind of man that can be trusted to guard your heart.

That level of passion, devotion, love can only ever be met in kind. This is why you do not hesitate to drop all pretenses– Why you pull him flush against you—body to body, heart against heart– Why you pour all of your sincerity into one simple promise, words that have become a well-loved refrain–

“No doubts—not now, not ever.”

–and seal it all with a sweet, lingering kiss.

Forever Kiss 🍃 It’s too Late to Catch Me (Because I’ve Already Fallen for You) || WC: 700~

“Still falling for me, even after all these years, huh?” Admittedly it’s not his best line, but Tetsurou figures he can be cut some slack given the fact that the person he loves more than anything almost lost their life to their own clumsy feet.

Okay, so he might be being a bit dramatic here—your fall probably would’ve only netted you a bruise at most—but having spent the better part of a year babysitting the well-meaning, but ultimately chaotic disaster humans that made up his old VBC has taught him to expect the worst from even the most minor of instances. But the what if’s are all immaterial in the end, he supposes, since they were not. He was there to catch you (albeit unwittingly, you’d kinda just fell into his chest as he was coming through the door) and your knees are safe and contusion free, so what more could either of you ask for?

Perhaps a lack of cheesy and ill-timed pick-up lines, if your unimpressed stare is anything to go by, but hey—you knew what you were signing up for from jump.

Though your face screws itself up into something thoroughly annoyed, for Tetsurou that has always translated as ridiculously adorable, so by his estimation it really shouldn’t surprise you that your expression does not garner the desired reaction.

His smirk is as unrepentant as ever as he pulls you more firmly against himself to press kiss after overly loud kiss across the breadth of your cheeks, only daring to capture your lips once their pout parts around reluctant burbles of laughter. It only takes a few pecks before you’re both in need of more, but he refuses to be the one to break. Holding on to his resolve when you’re whining so prettily for him—feeble hands curling into the fabric of his shirt and his name falling from your lips in a plea as you look up at him with those doe-like eyes—is a nearly impossible feat, but he manages if only just.

He tells you to use your words, but you decide that actions would serve you both better and honestly he couldn’t agree more. He bends easily under your insistent tugs, yielding control of the kiss readily only to snatch it back the moment you think you’ve gained some ground. When a need for oxygen forces you to part some long seconds later he’s pleased to see you thoroughly flustered and damn near drunk on his affections.

Gods, they’re always so beautiful, but seeing them like this? Breathtaking, truly… Though the thought is an overly sweet one, by the time it makes it out of his mouth, well…

“Gods, you’re so into me—simp.”

You scoff at that. “Says the man who’s still trying to win me over with dry ass pickup lines after damn near a decade of being together.”

“But did it work though?”

When you don’t bother with a reply beyond an exasperated roll of your eyes he counts it as a success. And said success, he decides, deserves a reward in the form of claiming your lips once again.

You don’t resist him despite the cut of your glance, with that soon falling away under the fluttering of lids. Tetsurou eyes follow suit with a soft exhale as he revels in the sweetness of the kiss. There is nothing demanding about the ministration, only the gentle give and take, the beauty that comes with intimate repetition.

When the pair of you part this time it’s with a soft sigh, but you don’t go far. Foreheads brace against one another as breaths are shared and heartbeats sync. The silence that follows is a comfortable one that the man is reluctant to break, and yet he feels compelled to speak just the same, to reassure you of his love just as you’ve done for him so many times throughout the years.

“I know I’m not the most conventional when it comes to showing it, but– I love you, ____. Far more than what you’ll probably ever know, honestly.”

His words leave your eyes syruping with emotion as you match his stare and devotion both. “You drive me crazy more often than not, but I really do love you for it. I love you, Tetsu. Always…”

“I know, baby, I know—and I never doubted it, not even for a second.”

Taglist (open to 18+ users ONLY): @therescrackinmytea​ ((sorry for the random tag, but I saw you were feeling a bit meh and I thought that this might cheer you up some))

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2022 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[volcanokids]

Hey idk who needs to hear this but the shit going on with Robinhood and Gamestop right now should make you really fucking angry and I’ll tell you why

If you’re not up to speed on the situation, here’s some good posts explaining it. The gist is that using completely legal means, a bunch of individual retail investors (fancy words for normal ass people who, like the rest of us, have very little money) who invest on online brokerage apps (like Robinhood) bought stock in Gamestop after hedge funds worked hard to manipulate the market for their own gains. These average people interrupted the plans of these much larger hedge funds to essentially drive Gamestop’s stock price into the ground by buying all of the stock these companies had and holding onto it, which has now costed these hedge funds BILLIONS of dollars, and for once has disrupted their long standing practice of market manipulation to fuck people over and maintain the wealth of the 1%.

Otherwise average people with accounts on Robinhood, Fidelity, Webull, etc., have now taken and held a ridiculously huge amount of control over GME stock and the rich corporations invested into it and caused it’s growth to absolutely explode. I’ve seen COUNTLESS stories in which many of them turned hundreds of dollars into thousands, made enough much needed money to pay off debts, medical bills, or just to put into savings that they wouldn’t have gotten under other circumstances. They accumulated small fortunes and gave power back to the people, and best of all took that money directly out of the hands of greedy and corrupt billion dollar hedge funds.

But of course, there had to be backlash for this.

Last night (1/27), Robinhood took away its investors’ ability to buy any more stock in Gamestop than they already owned, and today has made its user base fully unable to trade Gamestop stock AT ALL unless it is to sell their already owned shares, like literally fully took away the button that lets you purchase GME stock, period. Straight up preventing trade like this to any degree in the free market, much less to favor billion dollar corporations, is incredibly blatant market manipulation which is very illegal, hence the class-action lawsuit that has already been filed against Robinhood. Hedge funds have lost literally BILLIONS of dollars to normal people trading stock legally, and Robinhood halting trade and making selling the ONLY option for Gamestop, AMC, and similar companies is their attempt at helping the hedge funds gain back their fortune after they failed to manipulate the market in their favor, and fucking over the average people who are invested on their platform in the process. 

Retail investors—regular people—when this happened, lost THEIR ability to buy, and therefore continue taking back the wealth held by the hedge funds, but this restriction on Robinhood has NO effect on hedge funds, who have now been able to buy and sell all day today (1/28) freely. They used the opportunity to drive the price of Gamestop down again, essentially trying to bail themselves out after they manipulated the market and fucked themselves over in the first place. So, Robinhood, several other trading brokers, CNBC, and any other large corporation who has pissed on Reddit for “manipulating the market” have also now revealed their alignment with these companies, who are the reason the wealth in America is as disparaged as it is. They’re complaining, shifting the blame, even making up straight up lies about retail investors being involved in the alt-right to defame the people who have beat them at their shitty game.  

People on Reddit saw the manipulation, played the game fairly, and hedge funds are STILL trying to fuck them over for daring to touch the fortunes that they have gained by their shady as hell practices and fucked up the economy by hoarding. Reddit saw an opportunity to actually literally redistribute wealth, and these companies are trying to put us all in our place and keep that from happening by extremely corrupt means.

Market manipulation has been going on for a very long time with very little pushback from the people who actually take the blow when the market tanks—i.e. lower to middle class people who can’t afford bailouts and end up broke and out of jobs when the market crashes. The crash of ‘08 was caused by big brokers doing illegal shit and fucking around with people’s money with absolutely no personal repercussions. No lawsuits (or at least no lawsuits that did fuck all about it) no jail time for anyone responsible, nothing. Not only has this Gamestop movement taken back some of the wealth, we are beginning to finally hold these companies accountable. Again, as of right now, a class-action lawsuit has been filed against Robinhood for their blatant market manipulation, and hedge funds invested in GME have lost over 5 billion dollars.

We always talk about eat the rich, fuck the 1%, redistribute the wealth. I know the stock market is confusing—it’s made that way on purpose—and I understand anyone’s personal reluctance to participate in the stock market directly because of the hatred for it’s capitalistic nature and everything it’s done wrong and every way it’s failed so many people. But, if you want to actually be a part of a movement that is literally taking billionaire’s wealth and redistributing it right now, show support on social media for the people putting in time and money to make this happen.

I am not qualified at all to give financial advice, and I can’t in good faith tell anyone to buy stocks, ESPECIALLY knowing many, many people do not have the disposable income to be able to do so. Do not spend money you don’t have. But the media is going to and has been altering the narrative, making the small investors look like they’re being corrupt. Do not believe them. They’re often paid out or owned by these big corporations in the first place, they do not give a shit about any of us, about ruining our lives, about taking everything we’re worth. They’ve done it forever. But the HUGE number of people buying GME, supporting, and cooperating with each other with the solitary goal of fucking over these hedge funds, fighting them and beating them at their own game is scaring the absolute shit out of them. It’s becoming a movement that’s being compared to another occupy wall street. It’s showing people they have the power to instigate change and could legitimately lead to an entire restructuring of the system if we play our cards right. Of course changing one capitalist system into another capitalist system is not ideal nor is it the goal, but this whole thing has very quickly become a movement backed by A LOT of people who have knowledge about the system, have seen it work and seen it get corrupted in real time, acknowledged exactly where it fucks us all over, and are beginning to break it down by exposing a huge and obvious instance of corruption at the hands of billionaires.

If you can do nothing else, educate yourself about all the fuck shit these companies are doing, rally support on whatever social media you use, keep posting diamond-hands-we-like-the-stock-gme-to-the-moon-memes, put pressure on the brokerage apps like Robinhood who are manipulating the market and let them know there will be hell to pay. Robinhood is sitting at a well deserved one star review on the google play store for their shitty actions and has gotten burned over and over on twitter, lots of investors are planning a mass exodus and closing their Robinhood accounts when all this shit is over, as WELL as the lawsuit, and all of it has garnered the attention of some very influential figures who now have our backs. All of the repercussions they’re facing is the direct result of our outrage and backlash. Be outraged with us and let’s make real fucking change.

GME to the fucking moon everyone 🚀

[el-im]

Can you recommend any YouTube shows or podcasts that talk about Trek? Like, the big themes or character moments and canon stuff?

Star Wars has dozens of shows like that but I can't seem to find one for Trek

oh boy. well! honestly, i don't really engage in a lot of fan theory/analysis outside of what i run across doing my own research for my stupid little posts + seeing things by chance on tumblr, i really only know of/am familiar with two podcasts, which are both run by previous cast members.

connor trinneer and dom keating run the shuttlepod show on youtube + talk a lot about the behind the scenes work/implication of the stories they played in enterprise. i've had a ball watching their show, and have picked up a lot of trivia that i don't think i'd have gotten otherwise (the scar on trip's face from 'in a mirror darkly' was the same prop they used for captain pike in tos' "the menagerie", john billingsley dressing up in leather bondage with his phlox makeup still on is the reason paramount now bans halloween celebrations on studio sets, gary graham approached his role as ambassador soval entirely through the lens of being a vulcan who has "been on earth too long" + is becoming progressively more volatile because of it)

in my opinion, not all eps are created equally, and if you're at all interested, i'd watch you've got a silik mind and what the phlox first !

other than that, as far as i know, the delta flyers is a show on spotify/patreon about voyager run by rdm and garrett wang, where (i believe) they review an episode each week (though i'd kindly steer ya toward @cptproton​--my database for all things voyager + his hal listens to the delta flyers tag. hal certainly has his ducks more in a row than i do + can give you a better rundown about the show if you're interested!)

if you’re looking for in-depth doylist/watsonian analyses, i'd also take a look at @rattlegore, who pried ds9 open w a crowbar for me--my view of the show would be fundamentally different had i not read their examinations, which i think are absolutely the best articulated/most fitting views of the show that stay true to ds9's themes/reception/meaning that i’ve ever run across (some of my favorite posts they've written are here, here...)

* edit: OH and the DS9 documentary if you haven’t seen it and are interested in DS9! talks about the social impact/the significance of the stories w cast interviews!

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[flr-house-husband-blog]

Female Led Relationship In Real Life

FLR explained, the woman has final say on all matters. The man accepts her wishes, her wants, and her punishments. This isn’t the FLR most men dream about in real life which is sexual in nature; I can promise in real life it is much different and more rewarding long term for both parties involved.

For us, yes housework is my responsibility and it started out with her lowering the normal standard that she kept up so that I could get down a routine. Overtime I’ve gotten better and worked longer in rooms and areas that did not meet her standards. I want to say higher, but they were only higher standards to me when we were vanilla. I see now the importance of daily, weekly, and monthly deep cleaning chores and tasks. They really do make the house ready for guests at a moments notice without worry and it really lifts a level of stress off of her which reflects back into us and our time together.

I’ve been timed and my daily chores I can do in 20 mins if I hustle. Normally it takes me an hour in between making her breakfast or getting ready for or after my work. Either way my “right” to ask permission to play video games or have screentime on my phone is once my chores are complete. The weekly tasks I’ve broken down into days to accomplish them easier (for myself), to not get behind, and make sure I meet her expectation of cleanliness.

My fav part of our FLR which has led to has been more love, time, and attention towards her is a phone rule. Dinner at home or out, regardless with friends I have to ask permission to use my phone. Needless to say no one bats an eye as they think it’s great we’re not on our phones. I like to check google reviews and see photos of different food options at a restaurant and it’s almost always a yes when I ask and then I put it away or it goes in her purse. I will say getting to that level of discipline isn’t easy.

In FLR I thrived with any new rules or expectations as soon as Goddess Amy figured out the best punishments that one changed my perspective and made me do risk/reward calculations before taking an action. What worked for her and didn’t cause her too much additional time away from what she enjoyed and was highly effective for me was corner time (30+ mins sometimes) and marking down in my shared chore app her grievances, which I too could see and were addressed with the paddle when she so decided. Unlike fantasy FLR there is nothing fun about having your pants around your ankles and being met with a firm paddle. She knows once I’m over ten that each and everyone will be remembered throughly. She has taken it a step further and makes me recite while I’m being paddled. Again not sexy but to make sure i know what I did and what I should do again.

Writing lines or the same thing over and over on paper takes a lot of time and she doesn’t except sloppy work. When that comes up I know I’m metaphorically fucked. It’s the equivalent of a cold shoulder when we were vanilla and I know a conversation is coming.

FLR isn’t all chores and sex. It’s a means to have a more loving and quality filled relationship. It’s non-standard but really does the trick for us. Of note when you’ve been met with consequences for falling short on expectations it really does change you behavior and moments vanilla you might want to give constructive feedback or argue a point of view. In FLR skip it and if you don’t like the point/topic/discussion try and bring it up at the end of the day or week, and if you really want ask if she wants feedback and if she says yes then maybe; otherwise wait until the end of the day or week.

In real-life FLR I can only give my perspective and maybe some of hers. For me I’d say the most important part is the man accepting she has the authority. Leadership isn’t all about being right, it’s about inspiring follow-ship naturally and accomplishing shared goals of the individuals under you and for the organization. Goddess Amy does that wonderfully and this is where you could say she understands my kinks (motivation) and pessimistic characteristics (frictions). She has a firm grasps on all things me and has goals for me, expectations for herself, our house, and our family. FLR works well for us because I accept and want her authority and she cares about all of the above to ensure each and everyday we move forward and improve. It’s not like the kink where things are expected to be absolutely perfect. She knows what I can handle and pushes the bubble little by little until it’s “perfect”, I look back and think wow what a difference I never thought this was possible.

Have you heard the phrase “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If daddy ain’t happy don’t nobody care. “ That phrase sums up FLR. This ties in with communication and roles of FLR. She can easily say be ready we are going out and that means get in nice clothes and get everything ready to go or she can say she’s going out, which means I have the house to myself and if I’m lucky I’ll be given permission to watch TV or play games on my laptop. This ties in with staying on top of the routine she has set for me and other rules like no screentime without the chores being done. Most times I’m fortunate enough to get sceentime when I have the house to myself and sometimes it’s an opportunity for me to address a writing assignment she would like or an addtional chore. Rarely does it include me playing and sending pictures while she is out and about, but either way I’m always responsive and accept what she chooses as I know and believe it has a purpose. I just don’t sometimes fully understand it until later on down the road.

Real-life FLR the man only does what she wants and in ours she has retained meal prep for us and weekday dinners. The weekends I get to grill out and make her meals. Dishes are easy in our house. After a meal we clear the table, some things into rubber ware, some things rinsed in the sink and then into the dishwasher. We have a sign for clean/dirty and the dishwasher gets ran at night once full every couple of days and per my checklist is emptied or check daily.

A big benefit for her is me seeking ways to earn extra privileges ultimately by going out of my way to be on my best behavior, pampering her with love, surprises, and foot rubs. Some days she surprises me with the same to include paid massages and also breakfast in bed.

In public we appear vanilla, with the exception that I may secretly ask permission to have a soda or bend our diet plan a bit with a dessert. I’ve found asking before we go out with friends is better and also she has coded eye brows and looks which convey a silent approval or disapproval as I talk through what I might want when asked.

In addition to not meal prepping every meal since she loves cooking and helping us meet our fitness goals there are a few other things she retains control of. One is laundry, not because she loves it but because only she understands our walk in closet system for her stuff. Every morning I make sure everything is in the hamper and check the dryer- going through and pulling clothes tout of the dryer and separating out her dresses, tops, panties, etc in a way that makes it faster for her to put away herself, along with hanging and putting away all of my clothes neatly. Second the baby’s room there is a fancy rug which gets cleaned a certain way that’s off limits to me. I didn’t ask why and daily just make sure everything is clean and organized. Unlike fantasy FLR you won’t see me begging to do more chores, but you will see me finding areas which I add to my daily to keep off my monthly and deep clean routine to save myself time another day but just maintaining the area better. One example for this is dusting, yes the dreaded dusting. Once despised, I now prefer to address it per room per weekday versus all at once on the weekend. For me it’s less tedious when mixed in with picking up toys, vacuuming, and wiping down surfaces versus a whole hour of it another day.

To end this long discussion one thing that I like most about our FLR is despite me, the man not having final decision is that she gets my feedback 9 times out of 10 before making the final decision. I always feel heard and understood even when I don’t get what I wanted on most big topics, this isn’t the case with little chores or screentime expectations.

[popculturebuffet]

Let’s Make This Precious: A Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye Retrospective Part 1: Liars A To D

Hello all you happy autobots! Pride Month continutes with something that was not a matter of if but when. See on this blog I like covering my faviorite comics of all time, stuff that really changed me as a person and how I think creatively and stuff that is a par tof my soul for better or worse. So far i’ve been covering The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, Scott Pilgrim (With Volume 6 coming later this week) and New X-Men, the last one currently on hiatus due to a lack of reader. While I’m not above covering bad stuff this blog has always been about reviewing the stuff I TRULY love and really sharing why I love it. And with this being pride month and me having re-read the series recently, it seemed like the perfect time to do this. 

So for you Transformers fans in the audience, a bit of my history with the franchise: I love it, having just started casually collecting some of the toys again via Garage Sales and thrift shops, with half the fun being findnig out who my new buddy is. Otherwise i’ve drifted in and out of the franchise: I grew up with Beast Wars, Beast Machines and Aramada and dropped off with Energon which at the time I thought was a me thing but it turns out no, it just plain sucks especially in the english dub. Ever since i’ve just came back every so often when a work’s pulled me in: I loved the first movie (at the time I haven’t revisited it since), and that got me to watch the 80′s movie on youtube, which has been a treasured film for me ever since, and I watched some of prime (really need to finish that) and all of animated in reruns, and most recently tv and movie wise I saw bumblebee. I do love the franchise I just tend to go in and out nad have let Cyberverse and other series stack up in watching because i’m a procatnating git. But I will always come back to these wonderful talking machines.

So what brought me here? Simple: the first five volumes came on Comixlogy Unlimited a few years back, and it seemed to star one of my faviorite Transformers, Hot Rod, who being a huge fan of the movie and that being as far as i’d gotten with G1 stuff (Since then i’ve read part of the marvel comics which are indeed awesome), that naturally hooked me, as did Cyclonus and Ultra Mags being part of it.  And while I had no idea who half these people were going in, the book instantly grabbed me. It was just my kind of team book  honestly: a rag tag bunch of snarky misfits who may not belong most places but belong here and go through shenanigans, heartbreak and horrors in the grand comic book style. 

James Roberts talent cannot be overstated: a british writer who started with fanfic and worked his way up to being one of the biggest and brighest transformers creators period, Roberts has an unabashed love for the series that shows: you can tell he’s really enjoying getting to play with this worlds, adding tons of lore but doing it in a way tha tfeels warranted and dosen’t feel overwhelming or bogs down the text. It’s just intresting stuff that helps enrich the settnig. But he really shines at character and dialouge: he can bounce from funny to heartbreaking on a pin, and takes a bunch of forgotten characters and an OC or two and makes them into fully fleshed out discuntional, loveable characters. Roberts does what I feel the best comic creators do: take all the best of a property, explain away the worst and use it all to create something beauitful, every bit he can get his hands on. And the result is a comic that I could read a hundred times and most certainly will.  So wether you’ve read the comic, love transformers but haven’t or are neither of those things but like some good sci fi, humor, character work and gay robots, I invite you to come aboard the lost light for me for this year or so long trek into one of the greatest journey’s you’ll ever take. Welcome Aboard under the cut. 

Previously on The Transformers...:

So when I first read the comics I went in blind without having read the seven years worth of IDW Transformers material that came before this. They aren’t a requirement and this is very much by deisgn: the relaunch of the tranformers books into two ongoing, More Than Meets the Eye and it’s sister book by editor John Barber, Robots in Disguise, is a soft reboot, designed to help reconcile the three eras before it into a cohesive canon and welcome in new readers put off by the previous two runs bad reputation. You can hop right into MTMTE from the Death of Optimus Prime One shot and at most like me you’ll just have questions like why does Bumblebee need a cane, what happened to end the war between the autobots and the deceptions, and why don’t they just throw Prowl on a rocket into the sun? Sadly the last part would never be answered to my liking but I felt if I was going to cover these books properly I had to read what came before and see what any characters with a past were like before under previous writers, reconcile that with how roberts writes them etc. I will get into most of that as we go as my attempts to condense 124 issues worth of comics into a short recap WITH all the character stuff felt clunky. So instead here’s a quick and dirty recap of the first few years of these comics under three diffrent writers and i’ll get into any relevant past stuff as we go. 

Starting with a run by Simon Furman, The Autobots ended up on earth , soon finding the Deciptcons had found an energy source that could tip the war, fighting mostly in the shadows, with ocasional looks at the war in space, with things slowly escalating before suddenly stopping all together because sales were low so Furman was pushed out in favor of a soft-hard reboot as Roberts would later call it, so the autobots fucked off to space to solve some neblous plot about evil energy and left humanity at the mercy of the tyrancial murder machines with only Hot Rod being like “wait we got some unresolved stuff here maybe someone should stay behind.” 

Furman’s run is okay. It has a great hook, having the war really be about robots in disguise, some great ideas such as having the headmasters be drones piloted by humans based on Sunstreaker, and some decent art. It’s not TERRIBLE.. but it has some serious flaws: Furman tries WAY too hard to set up a full universe from scratch and do too many things at once, which backfired horribly given he was forced to rush to finish up his run, the characters who aren’t spotlighted are often dull and lacking in personality, and there’s of course his Spotlight of Arcee. Oh dear fuck Spotlight: Arcee. 

Look i’d heard of this one, I wasn’t going in blind and was dreading it the whole run but it is EVERY BIT as bad as it’s rep. For the short version: Furman’s version of Arcee is a hyperviolent psychopath whose mentally unstable.. because a mad scientest forcibly converted her body from male to female. If you can’t see the problems with that, please kindly get the fuck out.  There are a.. dumptruck load of problems with this. Furman clearly came up with the idea in part because he has a weird hate boner for the idea Transfomers HAVE genders or sex’s to begin with.. despite the bulk of them using masculine pronouns and identifying as men. It’s like with the Gems from Steven Unvierse: they don’t have a sex tehcnically but their all gendered female, though i’m sure some may be non binary or male and simply never expressed it because of how choking the era 2 society was or like many NB”s coming out today, they simply didn’t have the term for what they were.  My point is ESPECAILLY with modern understanding of Gender, his explination is garbage and clinging to it to the point he made a character into a sociopath and an accidentally GHSTLY transphobic metaphor is inexcusable even for the time. The fact he got into a fight with Marghreid Scott, who produced the awesome Windblade and Till All Are ONe comics, over the topic despite her criticsim being 100% accurate. The two DID apparently talk things out and he apparently apologized, but it’s still a huge black mark on the man’s legacy for good reason and something that should never be just casually tossed aside. John Barber tried his best to fix this when he took over, eventually having it retconned that Arcee was indeed legit trans but the asshole who helped her transition made her hate it for kicks, which isn’t perfect but it’s stilll a BIT better. 

So back to the comics: unsuprisingly abandoning Earth instead of leaving some troops there at all outside of a rouge Hot Rod bit them on the ass HARD next run, done by Shane McCarthy: the Deciptcons used the Autobots being distracted by the big evil space thing and used a mentally broken traitor to launch an all out assault on autobots across the galaxy, nearly wiping them all out. They then took over earth, but naturally our heroes eventually rebounded with the help of Kup, the most badass robot who ever lived, his mind cigar, and Drift a former decepticon samurai who fans hated because of overpromtion I wasn’t subjected to and thus objectively enjoyed him. 

McCarthy’s era, the 12 issue mini series All Hail Megatron, ist. It has a great concept, if more subdued than McCarthy wanted and the accompanying  Mini For Drift is truly excellent, tackling some conscious objectors to the war. But AHM itself feels like a missed opprounity with lots of padding from the infighting in both factions to som eof the human stuff. It really didn’t need to be as long as it was, but it also didn’t deserve the hatred it got, as it’s jus OKAY, nothing special but nothing terrible..

Speaking of terrible after that we get to the second most infamous part of this 7 year stretch, next to the transphobia: the Mike Costa Run and the only ongoing of this stretch of the comics: Transformers. This run has our heroes settle on earth to try and help humanity only for humanity to keep trying to murder them, not unfairly mad The Autobots up and abandonned them before the decepticon invasion. 

So Optimus does the logical thing: Turn himself in and hand the keys to Bumblebee whose barely been a character up to this point because Hasbro told him to. What follows is a lot of infighting, some goverment work, some sterotyping of other countries, the predaaons working for the chinese goverment, the Decipticons mass producing Megatron’s guns as part of a scheme, Jazz killing a dude and being treated badly despite doing so for entirely noble reasons, to save Bumblebee’s life, and in general just a lot of bickering. The run is almost 80% bickering, even worse than one of i’ts succesors Robots in Disguise. 

The important part of the run is after trusting Swindle in a deal that SHOCKINGLY went wrong with a trustworthy name like that, Hot Rod stole Ultra Magnus’ ship and blaste doff into space, eventually finding the matrix, and a new headache for our heroes: Galvatron, who previously allied with the evil evil thing last run, had discovered a new evil evil thing and raised an army, including Cyclonus and an army of clones of (Checks TF Wiki) Scourge called sweeps. 

Naturally Optimus didn’t belivie he had good intentions and in fact later found out they were bad and went to confront him with  most of the autobots, though this time a few stayed behind to you know, not make a bigger mess. On the way we got a fill in arc by Roberts that is vital to this one: Chaos Theory. It’s a flashback arc that shows Megatron’s philosphy, and how it got corrupted, going from a miner and gladiator trying to crush an obviously corrupt system to the corrupted tyrant we know now who belivies peace means everything under his robot boots. This also introduced two key characters: Rung, a psychatrist and Whirl, a highly unstable future autobot who attempted to murder megaton. It’s a good arc and one I might cover at some point and sets up a lot of important stuff about cybertronian society we’ll get into as we go. 

So with that we got the big messy finale, co written by roberts chaos: Our heroes fought the big evil thing, the art was a tad muddy, and justice was had, the end result being Optimus vanishing after using the matrix to stop the thing, megatron being apparently dead, and the war ending with a restored cybertron. 

 Costa’s run sucked. There’s really no way to put that nicely so i’m not going to. It’s not the WORST comic i’ve read.. I mean this is an actual line in an actual published comic someone got paid for...

But at least America is so bad it’s good. Costa’s run is just a LOT of people arguing, messy art and half baked ideas. While the other two runs are just OKAY this one was a chore to get through excluding Chaos Theory. Again i’ve seen WORSE but it’s not saying this thing is good and it’s really not worth your time. 

Finally we have, during the early days of the ongoing, Last Stand of the Wreckers which brought Roberts into the fold via his friend Nick Roche, who recommended him as the mini was already a lot to ask from an art perspective.  It follows the Autobots special ops crew , the titular Wreckers as they invade a prison for deciptcions taken over by the tyranical, powerful and insane Overlord whose entire motive can be summed up as this but with Megatron:

That being said he’s still an objectively horrifying psycho who pits autobots against each other in horrifying combat to sate his own boredom, with only a few of The Wreckers making it out alive. Last Stand is a damn fine story, with decent art, wonderful characters and a truly gripping look at the war in a way tha treally coudln’t be told in the cartoons It also sets up Robert’s trademarks of world buildling and leaves some pieces on the board he’d later use for his run: While non of the Wreckers carry over to his run, Fort Max, who ran Garrus 9 before Overlord took it over shows up again during MTMTE as does Overlord. I would recommend this as a lead in as while you can, as I said read the books without contex it does help Overloards apparence cary more weight knowing just how horrfying and powerful this fucker is. 

So now we’re all caught up as you could tell things weren’t looking good, so in 2010, in advance of this reboot, Hasbro gathered a braintrust to write the ship consitting of space guru Dan Abnett, Costa and Roberts, brought in thanks to last stand to write one of the two ongoings and co-write the last arc of the current ongoing. While only Roberts remained by the end, it was thanks to this transformers got a second shot and this books exist and while Roberts was handed the premise he turned it into something TRULY special. So with ALL THAT finally out of the way we can finally dig into MTMTE:

The Death of Optimus Prime:

The Series starts, along side i’ts sister series with a One-Shot, The Death of Optimus Prime. 

I won’t be covering this one in depth as the MTMTE isues. It’s not that i’ts BAD: it sets up both mainline transformers books, this and Robots in Disguise, fine, it’s just more heavily focused on the latter. Outside of Rodimus and Drift most of the Lost Light related characters aren’t focused on. So not bad, just not a great place to introduce either character:

The issue follows Optimus as he explores Cybertron in the aftermath of Chaos: things aren’t great as the planet has gone primordial, leaving only one working city, and said city is rapidly getting overcrowded as the climax of Chaos sent a massive signal into the either welcoming all cybertronians home. As such all the non-combatants have returned to find the planet wrecked and are blaming the Autobots because their kinda stupid and RiD confuses “Conteious objector” with “asshole”, wasting what could’ve been a better story on a bunch of asshole swhininng at the autobots. 

Optimus eventually reveals to high command the Matrix of Leadership, the cool powerful dohickey he keeps in his chest that makes hi ma prime, has been busted in half. But every cloud has a silver lining and it turns out the Matrix itself is a map.

Drift, a spirtual ninja and former decpeticon who studied at a hidden city of ninja, belivies this is the Map to Cyberutopia, the mythical home of the equally mythical Knights of Cybertron. The Knights were believed to have ushered in a Golden Age of Cybertron and after doing so left to form their own utopia after doing good across the universe. 

Bumblbee, current leader of the Autobots and Prowl, registered asshole both object, but Rodimus, an Autobot with a penchant for running off and into trouble who recently carried the Matrix for a while,  wants to go after it, feeling that since the returning cybertronians don’t WANT autobots there anymore, why should he stay when he can instead find utopia and use it to bring in a new golden age? Suprisingly of all bots Ultra Magnus, space lawman and stick in the mud agrees and while Bumblebee tries to keep him here despite him not wanting to, Optimus ends up giving both of the m half the matrix and exiling himself to give Bee a fair shot at governing with the biggest remaning symbol of the war removed. 

So that’s where we are: An impulsive rouge with a penchant for leaving taking off with a spritual ninja and a grouchy but legendary officer. What could possibly go wrong? Welllll let’s see shall we? Liars A To D Part 1: How To Say Goodbye and Really Mean It We open Rodimus in his element: giving everyone a neat speech:

While the One Shot got me in the door with the trade this.. this is what hooked me. An epic speech about the wonder of the stars, an epic quest, and a chance at a new life. 

Rodimus here isn’t all that diffrent from the previous three runs: He’s impulsive, has a tendency to dodge difficult issues, and his wanting to run off on some epic quest instead of staying to help people who hate him fits his previouls habit of doing a runner any time he disagreed with what was going on.. and given the times he disagreed were “Let’s leave no one on earth when one of our friends is trapped here and theirs TWO diffrent decipticon factions” and “Let’s stay on earth even though they all hate us and don’t want our help” he may be onto something. 

Roberts simply builds on that adding an ego and a need to be seen. Beneath the flash he’s just someone who wants to be a legend like optimus and sees this big epic quest as a way to do that. 

We’ll get into Drift and Ultra Mags in a bit for now we transition to the RID cast as Wheeljack worries about a max Exodus while Prowl, smug prick that he is assumes that “It will be a strictly non event” because he predicted it... cue hundreds of robots outside the Lost Light, our crew’s ship, the next day because Prowl’s power is THINKING he knows everything  and knows what best when in fact he dosen’t know his robot ass from his robot elbow. I may not like him very much can you tell? And for the record it’s JUST this Prowl. The Animated prowl is fucking awesome. 

So from here we get scenes introducing our cast. First up is Ratchet. Ratchet is the autobot’s chief medical officer, a legend and an old soul. He was most important so far in Furman’s run, being the one to bond with the humans but otherwise not having much personality other than “Doctor Man”. 

Here he’s an old hand, snarky, a bit cranky and 100% awesome and 200% worn out. So in a sense he’s a lot like Animated Ratchet which naturally made me love this one instantly. 

He’s doing an autopsy of a bot who wore out his transformation cog transfomring constantly in protest of autobot high command. Bumblbee is there as he needed a senence and Metalhawk, dickish represnetivie for the returning cybertronians, refused an autopsy from anyone else. So then we get this...

Okay I gotta hand it to Roberts that is some excellent black comedy, from the fact it happens with the fucking cartoon sound effect (Which Roberts himself said in an interview was hard to get down) to the term “rigor morphis”. But it also speaks to his talent for world building: we learn what happens when a transformer dies. It’s a small detail that has no baring on the plot but it’s something neat to know we really WOUDLN’T see in most cartoons as they’d hav eto downplay the death as much as possible. 

Things quickly turn sad though as Ratchet bemoans the fact he COULD’VE saved the guy once: an overworked T-Cog is something he could easily manage.. but age is catching up with him and his hands are starting to go and without a smooth reactoin time a surgeon’s hands are worthless. 

Naturally he picks this time to tell Bumblbee he’s leaving. Bee tries to get him to stay due to his legacy and what not , having served with every prime since Nominus, but Ratchet counters that’s the point: He’s been at this too long and with Rodimus having promised to pick up some strays along the way, he figures he can help the injured and find someone to train as his succesor along the way. Like many of the Lost LIght it’s not the destination but the journey he’s after. 

Next we meet Cyclonus. Cyclonus is a masterful warrior from a time past who worked with Galvatron in his scheme, but more out of loyalty to the old ways of cybertron. But now all of Old Cybertron has been singed to hell, he’s decided to head off on the ship with Rodimus but first heads to check some life signs. 

Cyclonus here is an old warrior, a hero from the past now considered a villian since he sided with the wrong guy and killed some people. He’s unapologetic, steadfast and deep in his convictoins meaning he has a sense of honor but is also blunt, stuck in his ways and kind of a dick as a result. He’s a throughly fascinating character but really they all are. 

So next up to bat are Chromedome and Rewind, our unambgiously gay duo and the reason this is a Pride Month review, as most of the other relationshpis don’t form for a while. The relationship happened organicly in the writnig: Roberts intially just had them as the best of friends... but soon realized there was a wamrth and tenderness there that was anythin gbut platonic and thought “Well if robots can hate.. why can’t they love?” and Hasbro backed him. So by the time he got to writing the issues and the two stepped into Prowl’s office here, they were a couple. 

Prowl is upset Chromedome is leaving. And here’s where his entitlment really shows: he’s “disapointed in him” for leaving and for “wasting” his talents. Just to jump ahead a bit, his talents are Mnemosurgery, meaning he can read memoreis and in darker days he’s deeply ashamed of, rewrite them. So yeah Prowl clearly wants someone he can use for black ops shit on board at his beck and call and to hell with his clear PTSD and reluctance to do this sort of thing again for his own safety and because his partner asked him to. It’s also telling Prowl calls rewind Chromedome’s “Best Friend” when the two are Conjux Endura, cybertronian form of romantic partners, and he knows it. Oh and just as added icing on this douche cinnamon roll, Prowl is Chromedome’s EX. So yeah if you wondered why I was so hard on Prowl earlier there’s your answer: He’s an entitled prick whose so obbsed with still fighting the war he ignores people’s personal rights and what they want. He’s sometimes effetive sure but it’s all too often at costs down the line. And to top it off he’s having two mystery bots load some cargo onto the ship.... after of course flipping a table like an angry toddler.

Those of you who hadn’t read this thought I was kidding didn’t you?

So next we turn the clock back a few million years to meet Tailgate an adorable little bot who was trying to reach the original Ark but fell in a cave and is now legless and without the ablility to transform. His internal damage report isn’t helping. 

Don’t be too down on your self Tailgate my brain tells me that all the time. He prepares to dentonate some charges to escape. 

Back in the present  is Whirl, who is saying some tearful goodbyes to some friends who have been there for him in these trying times... some mutlated corpses of Sweeps, those robot clones I mentioned in the recap. Cyclonus finds him and takes the sight as you’d expect

Whirl responds like the irrational highly unstable bot he is and attacks Cyclonus for darring to walk in on him and his unhealthy and deranged coping mechanisms. Tellingly Cyclonus ISN’T fighting back: he’s a warrior sure but this is Whirl’s hair trigger temper and not wanting to be caught. There’s no honor in lopping off the head of some crazy asshat you happened to run into. 

At the Lost Light more of our crew show up: Brainstrom, a notorious mad scientest and weapons designer who Rodimus has naturally given a specail dispensation to not reveal what’s in the briefcase he’s handcuffed to himself because that surely won’t’t backfire horribly in Season 2. 

Next up is MY BOY, Swerve. Swerve is a talkative little guy who can’t shut up and is fine with that. Naturally given i’m a talkative big guy who can’t shut up and is fine with that, he’s one of my faviorites. 

Screening both in is Red Alert, paranoid head of security, who next lets in Rung, his former psychologist which given Red dosen’t even remember taking therapy tells you how much that worked out. But I do LOVE the concept of the Autobots having a therapist, someone to hlep with the likely millions of years worth of PTSd and it just smacks of optimus he’d make sure that his troops mental health was a priority as much as how much stabbing or shooting they could do. 

Rung’s also brought a large box of model ships with him he’s kept over the years> This will be important later, for now he just talks about how he usually stays out of danger.. only for Cyclonus rnning from whirl, or rather flying as he’s in alt mode, to knock the poor guy over. As a Therapist he should probably know better than to tempt fate. Don’t know why but he should. 

We get back to our commanding officers for the voyage as Rodimus brags like a teenager about his numbers and telling Bumlbebee to eat that. Granted if he was a teenager he’d tell Bumlbebee to eat a dick, but it’s implied. 

So here we get our sense of Drift and Magnus. Drift is an optimus, trying to help this voyage along for spirtual resons despite his dark past as one of teh decipticons worst murderers. He’s doing so by feeding Rodder’s ego and generally agreeing with him which naturally is the best way to get him to listen. 

Magnus meanwhile is instead a hard ass stickler for rules whose best summed up by this exchange...

He has a stick shoved so far up whatever the cybertronian version of an ass is you can see it when he talks and is proud of how that stick is regulation. 

It also sets up a ncie power trio Dynamic, Rodders is the id, impulsive and willing to do whatever he wants, Drift is the Ego, being willing to follow rod but pull him back when needed and Magnus is the superego who insists on regulations on top of regulations on top of regulatoins... on top of regulations. 

Magnus isn’t stupid though and does have Rod pegged in his own personal terminatior analysis thing: wants to be a hero and wants to be important. 

Back at the fight, Cyclonus admits that while he dosen’t WANT to fight if Whirl keeps slapping him around like a jackass he WILL kill him in self defense.. but dosen’t want to and wants to know what the hell this is about. Whirl replies it’s about the whole hanging corpses on the walls thing but Cyclonus points out he dosen’t care, he simply thought their signal was Scourge, the bot who was the basis for them, and has no intentions to tell anyone. But Whirl’s already in a murder frenzy and thinks Cyclonus is a deciptcon.. even though Cy is quick to point out he’s not.. he worked with Galvatron, who also wasn’t. Naturally logic dosen’t work on someone in a blood rage and Whirl attacks again. 

Meanwhile while Tailgate struggles to activate the charage having been passnig in and out of conciousness for centuries, we catch up with Chromedome and Rewind, who are with Ratchet as the three prepare to head off with Chromedome complaning on Rewind’s alt mode. It’s a memory stick as Rewind is an archivest, even earlier recording his boyfriend fighting with his ex and recorindg everything. This is a thing they talk about a lot and the dialouge does a great job making it feel like the kind of argument a couple has, you know one of those things that just comes up all the time and isn’t anything important but it’s still a sticking ponit. It’s not a sign of any disfucntion just the petty thing that crops up. 

So whirl crashes in with cyclonus and is ready to blow his head off, blaming him for the corpse thing and Ratchet trying to stop him from shooting a downed combatant. Thankfully the explosion soon happens and poor Tailgate finally escapes and collapses, thinking he’s accidnetly killed Cyclonus. It’s knocked out Whirl too. Thinking he was headed fo the Lost Light, Ratchet suggests bringing Tailgate with them, and brings Whirl and Cyclonus along too because he has to he guesses. Rewind plans to catch up.. but first after lying about saying goodbuy byes some shady discs from a shady vendor, Swindle, aka that guy I will never stop bringing up Rodimus trusting because his name is fucking Swindle what did he expect. 

So while the rest of our heroes get on board, Rodimus prepares to leave and refuses a call from bumblebee so with that the ship heads of but...

Shockingly Prowl did NOT try and blow up the ship despite everyone rightfully thinking so. The Quantum Engines merely went wrong and being fancy space engines shunted them father into space than intended and sooner than intended sending a godo chunk of the crew hurtling towards a nearbye planet thanks to a hull breach> While they get the ship stable, Rodimus has them park it on the planet both to figure out what happened to the engines and to find the lost crew, though what he says. .is telling

This is partly a call back to the Furman run: Hot Rod lost a crew under his command thanks to his traitor and his ptsd over that likely has’nt gone away> The other is simply compassion: under the ego and showmanship and glorhounding.. he just wants his people to be okay. He cares about them even if he throws them into danger. 

Sadly his wanting no one to die is foiled immidetly as he spots what he thinks is a metor shower but...

This really is what makes the series work: unless the situation is at it’s most dire, there’s always room for some humor to help lighten the situation: it’s never stuck in inapproriate places but in places like this it keeps things from being too dour with the scene before and the scene after, which has a mystery message sent to one of teh ships rung had that was knocked off. So while Bumlbebee mourns his actually alive friends we get some ominus foreshadowing to close out issue 1.

This is naturally all foreshadowing paying off eventually with Delphi being the series second arc, and the rest.. well you’ll have to wait and see but it’s all paid off by the end of Season 2′s first arc. Roberts does belivie in setting things up but is thankfully not a bastard with payoffs and it generally dosen’t take forever for answers. Usually if he brings a question up it’ll be answered by the next season, i.e. about one or two years, at the latest. 

Part 2: Hangars On:

For starters the first issue was done by Roche, who also did most of the character design and would do covers from here on out. But he ended up leaving, though not for any bad blood with Roberts, Roberts simply has incredibly detailed scripts and it was a LOT to ask on a monthly basis, so Alex Miline took over for the remainder of Season 1. Both are awesome though I honestly prefer Miline’s work as it just has a bit more depth to it. 

So we open with Brainstorm. Hot Rod WANTED to here from Perciptor in most continutites both generally the autobot science guy and boring as dirt in a glass, and in the Marvel Comics case a huge asshole who was willing to leave a man to die, So instead we get the good one who fills Rodimus in on what probably caused the generator malfunctoin i.e. one of the Duobots, a duo made up for this comic that consist of Shock and Ore. Good punning. One of them, Brainstorm cannot figure out which, I relate to as i’ve had my own issues figuring out which is which. 

As for the rest of the crew their searching for all the autobots that fell to earth, only having found half of them so far.. along with Cyclonus who is just being druged up from a lake. 

We cut to a new face: Skids. Well new for this continuity and this comic in paticular as he wasn’t part of the Lost Light crew that set off, Skids appears in most continuities including that time Micheal Bay turned him into a black sterotype duo which was somehow okay with the producers, and with Bay himself, and with every one who would’ve had to sign off on this including Hasbro.”SIGH”

This Skids is thankfully not terrible or horribly racist, he’s just got a bad case of amensia, taking a second to realize he’s on the run, he’s trying to hit the mode lock on the ship so he can skydive out of it, and that he’s wearing an inhibitor claw, which true to the name prevents use of transformation and internal weapons. He soon finds out WHAT’S shaping him and i’ts not promising:

Back at MedBay Ratchet is working on rung. Suprisingly Ratchet never has operated on before but Rung is honored to have seen him work and Ratchet is honored at Rung’s praise.. though ruins the moment by pounding his hand with a mallet because of what comic we’re in. 

Rung does wish Ratchet would focus on the more serious cases he came in with... but Ratchet casually explains he already did Tailgate first thing. But no one knows who he is and Ratchet’s asked Swerve, as metalurgist to carbondate him. We also find out Drift bugs the hell out of Ratchet when Drift coms in. 

It’s a small bit but it sets up their dynamic.. and evnetually them coming together because oppoisites attract. But that’s a wayyyys off. Point is it’s time to wake Whirl up though Ratchet isn’t happy about it.. granted Ratchet isn’t happy about many things but given Whirl wakes up by grabbing the first person in choking range that just happens to be Rung and nearly killing him soley because he came back online in a poopy mood, MAYBE Ratchet isn’t just being ratchet about this one hmm?

Rung gets him to back off though: As it turns out Rung is down to his last chance and if he does another stupid thing he goes back to prison, setting up his past as an ex con. He apparently tried to murder his old boss from the wreckers Springer who was left in a coma after Last Stand of the Wreckers. We’ll find out why later and it’s suprinslgy not “because Whirl woke up next to him and he happened to be the only chokable machine in a mile. “ 

Meanwhile Tailgate wakes up and Ratchet soon realizes he thinks he’s on the arc. Realizing he needs to tell him he almost does.. but let’s Swerve do it. Swerve proceeds to tell the poor guy he missed millions of years of history with all the tact he can muster. 

Back with Skids things aren’t better and not realizing he has a gun in his hand, our boy has to improvise and he does so in the most tactful way he can: by throwing a dead transformer at one of the mysterious nightmare bots and then shooting it with a nearbye weapon, causing the corpse and the alive robot that wants to make Skids into one, explode. If you can think of a more bad ass way to dessecrate a corpse i’d love to hear it. 

So back on the ship Rodimus talks to Cyclonus and is straight with him: During Chaos he DID turn on Galvatron at the right moment and give them precious time they badly needed.. but before that he still lead an attack that killed dozens of Autobots, something he can’t easily ignore. Cyclonus is honest in response. 

Not only that but as I mentioned Galvatron THOUGHT he was stopping the death of all things. As a result so did Cyclonus until he was in the chamber realizing his boss was really unteitonally kickstarting it. While the dozens of death’s aren’t a great thing, the Autobots genuinely can’t say they wouldn’t of killed tons of deciptcons if they had to protect something from falling into their hands.  But despite having valid reasons, Cyclonus dosen’t couch in them: He followed orders and that’s all he did, and that’s all an autobot would’ve done in the same situatoin: follow orders up until the point it’s clear those orders are doing more harm than good. Now Cyclonus is a warrior without a war, and simply wants to find himself and a better cybertron.. and given everyone aboard is in the same or similar boats, Rodimus accepts him on the crew... but if he lets him down, it won’t end well. Ultra Magnus is less obtruse “Screw up and i’ll demolish you”. Magnus brings whirl in to apologize which is about half hearted as you’d expected. Cyclonus responds how you would to a guy who tried to kill you for seeing something you TOLD him you weren’t going to report and then trying to shoot you in a head. 

And on that lovely note we return plantside where Swerve shows his better side, taking Tailgate for a walk and getting to know him a bit better. Swerve introduces him to Chromedome and Rewind... just as Skids drops in. 

Skids gets Chromedome to take off the claw and with his weapons systems back online he easily dispatches the bot and gets most of his memories back.. his RECENT past is still gone, but who he is and other important stuff like that has come back. Chromedome invites him on board as they’d found every autobot who was thrown off or what was left of them so it’s time to go. ‘

So on the ship while Swerve tries to find out Tailgate’s alt mode and become a duo with Skids, Rodimus is left with the uneinviable task of “what do I tell everyone”. Ultra Magnus and Dirft are unhelpful, Mags suggesting he be depressingly honest and Drift suggest he sugarcoat the hell out of things. Rodimus does his best to do neither and admits what happened is bad but they need to press on to their first intended stop, The Crystal City, the of ninja-knights that made drift a better person. We get some breif seinfieldien conversation as Whirl brings up an obvious if pretty minor issue: what do they cal lthemselves. Swereve suggests the cursadrecons with Rodders pointing out the obvious problem with that. 

Sadly we don’t get another page of this as Red Alret calls with some bad news : there’s a spark eater on board... 

Part 3: The Chaos of Warm Things

So we pick up a few minutes before the end of our last issue. The Dead guy turns out to be Shock, the other Duobot whose paying his respects.. and covering for the BLack Ops work they were both doing for Prowl, deleting SHock’s message log and trying to attach a tracer to the ship. We don’t get to find out what their whole goal as in full though as the sparkeater, a zombie like transformer comes by and rips it out of his brain. Yes transformers indeed have those. 

Back at the bridge Rodimus tires to proccess the threat best he can

Hot Rod has everyone but Chromedome, Ratchet and Trailbreaker, a guy who can create force fields and gets his own spotlight issue soon enough, go find a partner and a hab suite. No reason, nothing dangerous.. totally not going to lock them in there as soon as five minutes are up. Spoilers that’s his exact plan knowing that if it were him locked up he also woudln’t stay put and their already down four. If fire emblem classic mode’s taught us anythin ga few losses seems okay at first but soon your down to ten guys and like only like.. three of them. It’s why I play with no one dying on. 

Rewind naturally goes with Chromedome as if there’s something dangeorus goign on, he wants to be with him, awwww and Tailgate goes after Cyclonus as he’s the only person there he knows. 

So the autopsy begins: Ratchet is less than pleased with everyone calling whatever this thing is that ate Ore Shock a Sparkeater as their a myth and he’s a scientest doctor dammit. As it turns out it removed the Brain Module to get a better shot at the spark as it’s interocnnected, as are both the Spark and Brain with the Transformation Cog, forming what scientests call Rossum’s Trinity. 

Rodimus wants a second opinon... which is his code for “Chromedome use your horrifying Freddy Kruger claws that pop out of your hand to reach into this dead man’s brain”. As I said Chromedome is a Mnemosurgeon and isn’t fond of doing it, and Rewind even less so. You can even see he’s visably horrified but what he has to do.. which speaks to Alex Miline’s talent as Chromedome has neither eyes nor a mouth. 

This is the last thing he wants. He knows i’ts a slippery slope to doing this again and again and again.. and knows Rewind hates him doing it for damn good reason. You can also get another clear picture from that anguish on the poor guys face why I fucking can’t stand Prowl. I have way more reasons and those reasons are why you’ll probably never see a retrospective for Robots in Disguise, but just in this series alone he’s pretty monstrous. And we have’nt even seen the worst of it yet. It takes all my self control to to not go into a long, angry rant about the prick every time the thought of him comes up. IDW Prowl is easily one of the most insufferable and unlikeable characters in all of transformers. Fuck him sideways with a rake. 

So moving on from that lovely image we get another lovely image, the horrifying last moments of Shock, which are “sketchy” as in we see them in sketch form. Good pun top notch. 

Meanwhile Cyclonus and Tailgate find a hab suite, though Cyclonus decides to celebrate the occasoin by aburbtly dropping tailgate. IT does say  LOT though that for a deleberate loner his first response to the guy wasn’t to ignore him.. but to agree to room with him, showing that beneath the cold exterior.. lies a cold intereiror but with a tiny beating heart inside at least. 

Next up is the Dawn of Something Glorious: Swerve finds what he thinks is a Hab Suite.. but is in fact a BAR. Now you may be wondering “Wait their robots how do they even have booze”. Well simple: the booze is simply another version of fuel but the fun version. And if your wondering if a robot can get drunk the answer is absolutley. They have, as we’ll learn, safeguards for this, an intake moderator chip, but those can be turned off if the user wishes. 

So while Swereve is utterly overjoyed to have found his dream career, i.e. getting people so hammered they’ll listen to him all night long, Swerve decides to skedaddle up a vent, pointing out that since the last 6 months of his life and something larger from his past are missing he has carte blanche to do whatever he wants and be whoever he wants to be till those gaps are filled. Though we get a nice moment as he tries to get to know Swerve before saying “Skids and Swerve, that does sound pretty cool”. Awwww. 

Back with command, Chromedome is recoling from the experince but points out tha tyeah they have a floating monstrosity.. and what’s worse is Ratchet points out before it was just waking up.. now it’s fed a bit it’s going to want more and it’s belly is full of half digested sparks, meaning if someone lasers it it’ll take up half the ship, and that it’ll go after the brightest spark. Rodimus, being Rodimus, assumes that’s him and sends everyone a huntin while he stays behind to lure it. 

Naturally given the thing is highly explosive, the first person to find the sparkeater is Whirl who, as you’d expect, had locked his new roomate out as a prank, but to his credit the second he realizes something is really wrong goes out ot save the guy.. and when finding his corpse, to avenge him. 

Trailbreaker prevents Whirl from killing them all, while the Sparkeater bounces and goes after the brightest spark.... Rung. 

For those of you just joining us you probably don’t know why, for those of you who’ve read the entire series your probably kicking yourself realizing there were hints THIS far back. 

Anyway while this is going on Cyclonus bonds with Tailgate pointing out he missed a war, a war Cyclonus missed too as he was in the Dead Unvierse, which is just as plesant as it sounds and rendered him a zombie-like creature that while looking normal could only exist in our plane for a limited time. Quite obviously he got better. SO he gives a rather biased history of the Decipticon Autobot conflict, clearly siding with the former and asks Tailgate who he would’ve chosen. 

Thankfully Skids saves Rung and takes the guy with him, with Rodimus comming into apologize.. and to ask Rung to lure the thing to the engine room as Rodimus has a plan. 

Love that line. So Skids does what anyone would do and rappels down an elevator shaft with Rung on his back. Downstairs Brainstorm gets cornered but Rodimus lures the creature away with Rung.. by holding him in front of him. Which would be a dick move if Rodimus real plan wans’t so heroicly batshit, to throw rung aside, GRAB THE SPARKEATER AND SLAM IT INTO THE ENGINE, THEN HAVE PERCEIPTOR ACTIVATE THE ENGINES FUSING THE MONSTER INTO IT. 

In the aftermarth Ultra Magnus lectures him on the Rung thing, though Rodimus shuts that down as he’s the captain and all that, and while Ratchet fixes Tailgate’s T-Cog he makes a decision: he wants to be a Decepticon.

Final Thoughts: 

Liars A To D is a great intro into the series. It gives you a good feel for the cast, has plenty of jokes to lighten the mood but not so many as to smother the work, and sets up most of Season 1′s Arcs and the character arcs for the cast at this point swimingly. It’s no wonder this series drew me in immeditly with this level of writing and it only gets better from here. 

Next Month on Let’s Make This Precious: Ratchet ends up in a remote facility ravaged by a plague spread by touch. Nothing topical there! Meanwhile a new face joins the crew then procedes to cause a Hostage Situation, and we take a break from our heroes to meet an even more ragtag crew with the Scavangers.

Next on this blog: My look at the Danny Phantom Storyline Episodes leading up to Reign Storm continues as a southren douchebag somehow makes Danny’s Life even more difficult. Apparently that is possible. 

If you really enjoyed this review, consdiering becoming a backer RIGHT HERE.  Even if you can only kick in a buck it not only helps but gets you access to exclusive reviews, my discord, and to pick a short when I do a shortstacular, my celebration of a character from the theartical short’s day’s birthday. You also help me reach stretch goals: 20 has been changed from monthly reviews of darkwing duck to reviewing, also at a monthly or more if I feel like it pace, THE OWL HOUSE. all the episodes but the two i've already covered all for everyone if you pony up 5 bucks along with  2 Ducktales mini as well as a brucey bonus Danny Phantom: The Ultimate Enemy review, while 25 will have me reviewing 3 MORE disney movies (The Recess, Proud Family and best Kim Possible Movies), and allow you the backers to pick a review. And the best part is like this review EVERYONE, wether you can afford to pay or not, gets the review. So if you end up liking this review and want more, hop on.  And if your consdiering becoming a 5 dollar backer and thus helping meet my next goal automaitcally you not only get a review a month but if there's a reward down the line you'd rather swap one of the current ones for the 20 dollar tier with let me know. If it's within reason i'll gladly do it.

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

ok let’s talk SUNSCREEN

SO the UV filters available in the US can at this point be considered truly terrible. One of the main reasons you’re supposed to reapply sunscreen every two hours is that many of the filters we use are destroyed by the very UV radiation they are designed to block. Killed in the line of duty, thank you for your sacrifice, etc. Counterpoint: sunscreen is gross and reapplying it every two hours is the worst. I am not doing that. Fortunately, Europe and Japan/Korea have been much quicker to approve newly developed more stable UV filters for use and at this point they have some really good ones. They also have much better UVA protection, both because of the better filters available and better labeling regulations.

A quick simplified summary: UVB causes sunburns, is directly absorbed by DNA strands which causes the mutations that lead to skin cancer, SPF measures protection against this only. UVA does more generic damage, creates free radicals associated with aging, wrinkles, collagen loss, pigmentation, etc. etc., but can also contribute to immunosuppression and therefore skin cancer. It’s more complex than this obviously but that’s not really the point of this post.

My sunscreen criteria: I hate wearing sunscreen. However, Accutane + sun = an extremely bad time. My ideal sunscreen is something that doesn’t feel disgusting to wear so I will wear it regularly in the first place (i.e. dry-touch), something I ideally don’t have to reapply super often under normal daily use (i.e. photostable UV filters, water-resistant when necessary), and has maximum protection. As long as I’m wearing it, I also want as much UVA protection as I can find, without compromising the former criteria.

Note: The sunscreens I tried are almost all chemical UV filters and several are loaded with alcohol, so if that upsets your skin then proceed with caution/ask me for a specific rec!

Note 2: All of these are SPF50+ (the highest rating allowed in the EU (meaning they tested at at least SPF60) unless otherwise specified *cough*Supergoop*cough*)

Best Face: Kao Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence (x)

Best feel, best protection, best price point. This gets recommended everywhere for a reason. Bit of a silicone feel on the face. No white cast. Smells like alcohol at first. Really, really quality daily face sunscreen. Water resistant. Caveat that because of the alcohol I would make sure to throw a layer of moisturizer on beforehand to make sure I’m not totally drying myself out.

Also make sure you get the name exactly right, there’s a blah blah Watery Gel that’s totally different consistency, totally different filters, etc. etc. It has to be Watery Essence.

Best Body: Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Dry Touch Sun Gel-Cream (x)

This was a sleeper hit, so shout-out to Eucerin for the greatest body sunscreen I’ve ever tried. This stuff is SO protective and dries SO. DAMN. DRY. Zero grease somehow, feels like nothing. It’s even water resistant. I tried a couple LRP body sunscreens but they honestly aren’t worth mentioning. Eucerin or bust babey!

More Face Sunscreens:

I’ve also tried all top five sunscreens from this Stylevana listicle of Asian face SPF (x). The thing about face sunscreens that they’ve started doing is loading them up with silicones and acrylate polymers, which leaves a silicone-y feel on your skin like a makeup primer. As far as I can tell from poking through various patents, these polymers are doing a few things in the formula: a) emulsifying/stabilizing the newer/bigger UV filter molecules, and creating an occlusive layer over the UV filter molecules on the skin to a) improve water resistance and b) reduce eye stingy-ness. At first I thought I wanted to avoid these seemingly unnecessary additives but considering their function, these are all features I want/need in a face sunscreen so we’re living with them.

1. Shiseido - Anessa Perfect UV Sunscreen Skincare Milk: really good, sliiight white cast but absolutely no streaks, more like a foundation just a hair too light for my skin tone. However I can’t imagine buying this because #2 on the list is better and 1/3 the price. Medium silicone feel. Something I’d probably only break out for when I went to an outdoor summer wedding.

2. Kao - Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence: I have already sung its praises.

3. MISSHA - All Around Safe Block Essence Sun Milk: closest to a US milky/greasy sunscreen experience here, though very fluid and still absorbs nicely. No silicone feel. Not a bad choice but nothing special.

4. Canmake - Mermaid Skin Gel UV: probably second favorite after Biore. Similar, bit less of a silicone feel. I’ve gotten red a couple times using this though, possibly because less silicone feel = no layer of protection against sweat/physically rubbing off? I bet this would be perfect under makeup though, it’s super light.

5. COSRX - Aloe Soothing Sun Cream: SO moisturizing, almost a dewy feel that sits on your skin and never dries. I wanted to love her, but unfortunately she is so loaded with the aforementioned polymers that when you reapply/put the appropriate amount on to begin with, it completely gums up and pills and you lose all protection. Also definitely not water resistant. Probably my top pick for a winter daily face sunscreen that I wouldn’t ever be worrying about reapplying though.

Other Contenders:

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Invisible Fluid (x) and Bioderma Photoderm Max Milk (x)

These two bad boys have the highest rated UVA protection currently on the market, 46 PPD for La Roche-Posay and 42 PPD for Bioderma. The LRP is extremely watery (technically alcohol-y) and comes in a teeny bottle(though same size as a lot of these I guess) but it is The Best UVA protection money can buy. The texture is really nice too, and feels super water resistant. If I’m outside sweating or on the water in the summer, this is going on my face. I've also seen it on sale multiple times since I’ve started researching sunscreens (because it’s extremely popular) so you can definitely find it in the $0.30/mL-or-less tier if you keep an eye out.

This Bioderma is cheaper and also extremely protective (thanks Helena @bronyraurmp3 for the rec!) but unfortunately it stung both my and Mr T’s eyes like a BITCH. Extremely unpleasant experiences for both of us. TBH if I’m out in midday sun, swimming or kayaking or something, I’m gonna be wearing a long-sleeved UPF rashguard to protect my arms and upper body and not worrying too much about whatever cheap greasy sunscreen I put on my legs. This Bioderma stuff would be going on my neck, ears, and hands though bc it’s super water resistant.

Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Mattifying Fluid : bit of a white cast, really slippy texture going on and nice dry touch texture when it dried down, but drying down took foreeever. Probably really nice if you’re sensitive and pale.

Eucerin Sun Oil Control Gel-Cream Dry Touch : VERY matte and dry-touch, would have loved it if I hadn’t gotten burned using it (doesn’t have all the newest most stable UV filters). Approaching the expensive end of things too, but would be a lovely option if you really prioritize non-greasiness and don’t need the premium protection? Mr T really liked using it on his bald head lol.

Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen SPF40 (US): This is recommended many places but it has to be a joke that people are actually paying Shiseido Anessa prices for old American UV filter selection, only SPF 40, and no UVA rating to speak of, right??? (ok they do have a PA+++ rating meaning a PPD of 8-16, so. this is acceptable.) I did not test this one but damn wtf. The texture is probably nice though and it looks perfectly sheer in the photos on their website, so maybe as a last resort for darker skintones that show a white cast with everything else? At that price tho... you do you but damn.

Jigott Snail UV Sun Block : This had good reviews on Yesstyle but it sucked. White streaks, bad.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra-Light Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF60 (US): Another in the outdoor-wedding only price range. There’s a tinted and a non-tinted mineral version and I ended up mixing them together to get a shade that looked pretty good on me, but needing two bottles for that puts it in the extremely ridiculous price category. Really slippy nice texture that takes a bit to dry but dries down perfectly matte. I guess the person who wants to shell out for a high end all-mineral tinted sunscreen exists somewhere out there but I would bet there are many nice cheaper mineral options out there that I haven’t tried.

And that’s it! For EU sunscreens, I was able to order them on caretobeauty.com, and Japanese/Korean ones from yesstyle.com or stylevana.com, though I had to go to eBay for the Biore and Anessa. I ordered some Biore from a seller on Amazon but they shipped from Japan and I think they got taken by customs because the last known location on the tracking info is Chicago, so finding a seller in the US that has already imported them seems like a good idea (vendor lullabellabeauty on eBay worked great for me, fwiw, I will definitely order my Biore from there in the future).

If you have specific questions about any of these, or if you have any recs you think I should try, hmu! You will be shocked I’m sure to hear I have a whole sunscreen database at this point.

[creativelyderangedme]

Checking Sources

I’m taking a stab at the trope I’ve seen all over the place recently. But with a different twist. Oneshot - might continue if I get the desire.

“Ladybug?”

Paris’ spotted heroine jumped slightly after being pulled from her thoughts. She’d been staring out over the city’s glittering lights, lost to the maelstrom of voices and recalled memories swarming her mind with a thoughtful (at least she hoped it was) frown on her lips. So much so, that she hadn’t noticed when her leather-clad partner had shown up to sit next to her on a night he was supposed to be taking off.

When the hell had he gotten there? She wondered, looking around quickly for any indication of how long she’d been stuck in her own head. 

“Hey Chaton, what are you doing out here? It’s my night to patrol.” She asked as another entirely panicked thought came to mind - that she’d been so dazed she’d missed the tell-tale signs of an Akuma.

But, before she could freak out any further, she took in Chat’s relative ease - or at least, he didn’t look like he was on the verge of jumping into a fight. He did seem apprehensive, though. She could tell in the way it tensed and squeezed his shoulders together like he wanted to be close, but wouldn’t dare come in contact with her.

Which made her wonder if she’d said or done anything recently to give him the idea he was overstepping his bounds. Or maybe he was mad at her for something? And wasn’t that just the icing on the cake that was her day? 

First, Lila had caused a major scene that got Marinette detention for the rest of the week (it all happened so fast, she barely remembers what the hell had even happened). Now she was having a panic attack over whether her partner was mad at her for something she didn’t remember doing? Who else was she going to piss off today?

“What’s your stance on sharing your identity?”

Panic attack on momentary pause, a dark brow shot up at the question, and if she wasn’t so wary of the way he’d said it with that uncomfortable look on his face, she probably would have been angry. But he seemed so off tonight that it was throwing her usual emotions for a loop. So, choosing not to go off on her partner, she sighed heavily, trying to keep her focus on him despite the bubbling irritation, “Chat, I’m sorry, but we’ve talked about this. Our identities are a secret for a reason.”

For the first time since he sat down (she thinks), she sees him glance her way if only slightly. The uncomfortable look on his face had softened a bit but he still has something unreadable in his eyes that makes Ladybug anxious, “So... you’ve never shared your identity? With anyone? Not accidentally or otherwise?”

If she didn’t know any better, she’d say his words were a little accusatory. 

Which, okay first off, what the fuck? And second, why was he suddenly giving her the third degree? 

Again, though, the entire display was throwing her and she knew she had to be rational about this. 

“No. Of course not. I promised you didn’t I? Once Hawkmoth was defeated, you would be the first person I told.” She stated as calmly and resolutely as she possibly can. She’d been clear from the start where she stood on the subject. 

As soon as the words left her mouth, Chat Noir visibly relaxed. Shoulders slumping and a breath heaving from his chest as he nodded, “Right. Right, of course.” He finally managed to turn to look at her and the discomfort was quickly hidden by a small smile.

The shift in his attitude was almost as disconcerting as his arrival.

“What is this about, Chatton?”

That smile faltered a bit as he looked away from her again, “There’s this-” he began but his words died before he shook his head, “No, it’s - it’s nothing. Sorry for bothering you about this. It was stupid.” 

Chat made to stand, but Ladybug caught his wrist before he could get away, “Obviously not if it brought you out here as upset as you looked. I know I can be a real stickler about the secret identities thing, but Chat, I’m not doing this to hurt you. I promise!” She implored, feeling like she’d missed something major. “If you’re being hurt or-”

Blonde hair flew as he shook his head quickly, “No, no. Nothing like that. Really. I know why you do. I won’t pretend it doesn’t suck, but I get it. Really, I do.” He tried to assure her, and while it did seem like he understood and he was being honest with her, he was still hiding something. Something that had driven him to come out and ask her these strange questions.

“Then what was all of this about?”

He had the decency to look apologetic at least as the corners of his mouth pulled up and he shook his head again, “It’s too personal - talking about it might give me away, Bugaboo, but I really am sorry about this. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Ladybug’s eyes darted back and forth as she watched him closely, but eventually, hesitantly, she let go of his wrist and allowed him to get up.

The whole conversation left an unsettling anxiousness over her and a rather uncomfortable tenseness in the air between them as he backed away and saluted before she even had the chance to say anything - disappearing into the night.

That unease followed her home and through her restless sleep and when she woke up the next morning, she couldn’t help but let it consume her thoughts. Distracting her as she made her way to class earlier than usual.

Distracting her so much, in fact, that she almost didn’t notice the crowd gathered around two individuals crammed into her usual seat next to Alya giggling and talking loudly.

Almost.

As much as she hated it, Marinette had developed something of a sixth sense for the Italian exchange student Lila Rossi. A personal radar to warn her of the liar’s presence.

And it was going off big time.

It wasn’t uncommon for Lila to try and steal her spot when she could. Usually, it resulted in some sort of argument between Marinette and Alya when her supposed best friend defended the other girl for just wanting to hang out, and why didn’t she try being nice to the girl for once?

This time, though, Marinette was quickly made aware of three things:

1. Lila wasn’t alone.

2. Whoever this other girl was, she and Lila were already very close and that didn’t bode well for anyone - especially Marinette.

3. Adrien, who was an unfortunate captive in the crowd around his desk, looked really uncomfortable - more so than usual as he openly frowned at the desktop in front of him, trying not to associate with the things going on around him.

What the hell was going on? Marinette had only been gone from class for one afternoon! 

Alya was the first to notice her entrance to the class, giving her an unsure look from her seat (she had been pretty mad at her yesterday for whatever it was that landed her detention for the week), causing a ripple effect as Lila and her ‘guest’ looked up at her too, quieting down and catching everyone else’ attention.

The unfamiliar girl sized the noirette up before speaking, “Is this the girl you were telling me about?”

Lila put on her biggest, fakest, puppy-dog eyes and nodded softly, watching Marinette like she might lunge at her any second now. 

Like parting the red sea, the unfamiliar girl stood from her place at Marinette’s desk and the crowd around her gave her room to move, allowing her to make her way to stand haughtily before her. The girl was a tad taller than Marinette, but the platform sandals she wore made it so Marinette would need to look up at her slightly. She had dark, almost black, shoulder-length hair that hung loosely, but the color of her brows made it clear that it wasn’t natural. She’d dyed it, recently too, if the lack of root discoloration was any indication.

Marinette watched her approach with a raised brow, unimpressed by the superior gleam to the girl’s blue-green eyes.

“I heard you’ve been bullying my best friend.” She said, authoritatively, her hands propped on hips clad in Gabriel branded jeans.

There was a collective gasp among her classmates like this was some big reveal in a soap opera. 

The class rep merely blinked a moment, brow still raised because who the fuck even was this girl and why was she squaring up to her like she even had a chance? Actually, no, she didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Marinette asked, but her tone gave away how few fucks she actually gave about the girl’s answer.

“For your information, it’s Bianca. I just transferred yesterday. But don’t change the subject. I’ve heard that you’ve been bullying my best friend Lila.”

Before Bianca had a chance to say any more, Marinette gave her a deadpanned look, “Well, sorry to inform you, but your best friend is a liar.”

Lila could immediately be heard breaking out into sobs somewhere in the background but Marinette was quickly losing interest in this conversation. 

“I don’t think she is. I think you’re the liar. In fact, I think people like you are what’s wrong with Paris. Always trying to hurt others so they get Akumatized and I have to clean up your mess.”

I’m sorry, what? 

That had Bluebell eyes snapping to focus on the girl in front of her. Interest piqued. 

“I’m giving you one chance. Stop being a menace to society or my partner and I will take action.”

There was quite a bit to unpack from that. Like... a lot. Menace to society? Partner? Take action?

Who did this girl think she was? Ladybug?

The one thing that seemed clear to Marinette after reviewing the word choices in her own head a few times, was that this was not a friendly recommendation.

“Are you threatening me?”

She probably should have sounded a little angrier. In fact, anything would have been better than bored. But she just couldn’t find the energy. 

A triumphant smile spread over Bianca’s face, as she disregarded the lack of fear in Marinette’s voice, “I don’t threaten people. But that is a promise.”

Marinette was left to blink at her a little longer. 

Because what even was happening here? What on earth had she done that the universe saw fit to drop this steaming pile of bull on her morning?

And why did it feel like the girl was hinting at something she wasn’t picking up on? Why was her body telling her that she needed to react while her brain was taking its sweet time to catch up with everything?

“Dude,” someone from the peanut gallery stage whispered, finding it in their heart to give her a helping hand, “That’s Ladybug!”

Lila shushed them loudly, “Guys, not everyone is supposed to know! We don’t know who we can trust!”

Oh.

oohhhhh!

Wow. When she’d made that comment in her head before, she’d been joking but... seriously? Did she really just?

“You’re Ladybug?” Marinette asked, wanting to clarify and make absolutely certain that she hadn’t just imagined that last forty-five seconds of her life.

Bianca’s chin raised, literally looking down her nose at Marinette, “Normally I wouldn’t share that information with someone like you.”

Behind her, Adrien stood from his seat looking absolutely livid, but Marinette barely had a moment to even register the malice in the gaze he pointed at Bianca before - 

Pfft...

Marinette covered her mouth with her hand to stop it, but nothing could hold back the onslaught now. 

They were giggles at first, tumbling from her in waves as she tried to clear her throat and treat this seriously. But before long, she couldn’t help it. She was laughing out loud, doubling over, completely ignorant (maybe not completely, but she didn’t care at this point) to the looks of confusion on the faces around her.

She made the mistake of looking back up at Bianca and that only renewed her laughing fit until it literally brought her to her knees, clutching her sides as she laughed so hard she cried.

Fucking cried.

It was a solid five or six minutes before she could breathe again. Sitting back up, wiping the tears from her eyes, she beamed at the girl standing awkwardly before her, “Wow. Thanks. I really needed that.”

She cleared her throat, clearly unsure of the strange behavior. She couldn’t blame her for that. “I don’t see what’s so funny.”

“All of it. Really.” She stood up from the floor, making a show of dusting off her pants before turning her full attention back on the girl. 

Because this was going to be fun.

“So, Ladybug, tell me this; if I’m such a menace to society, why would you entrust me with a miraculous?”

Bianca's smirk faltered, her eyes darting over to Lila for a moment, both of them looking a little lost for words. As was everyone else for that matter.

Even Alya, whose mouth hung open at this revelation. But the reporter flew to her phone, swiping quickly, "when?! There were no new heroes! How do we know you're not lying?"

Oh good. They were playing right into it. One thing you could always count on with sheeple... they always follow.

"Huh, well, then I guess if you can’t believe me at my word, it would be pretty easy to fact check." Her tone was a bit forced on those words and the reporter had the decency to look taken aback, "You could always just ask Ladybug, here."

"Well I-"

"Or you could ask her partner. Seeing as how he saw me transform."

Bianca's mouth snapped shut. It was still hit or miss whether or not Marinette was bluffing. And it's easy to claim something like that when the only other person who could confirm or deny the facts was not present.

This had been Lila’s game the whole time. The difference was, Marinette wasn’t lying.

But neither of them could take that chance.

Because neither of them knew what she knew.

And Ladybug was definitely in this room, but it wasn’t who they all thought it was.

"I asked her to give you a chance. Because I wanted to help you. I thought being a hero would make you a better person. But you just kept bullying me!"

"E-exactly."

Ah, so they were going to go this route, hmm? She could work with that. And given Lila’s proclivity for being Akumatized, maybe she could mess with Hawkmoth too while she was at it. 

Because it was only a matter of time before someone was targeted.

"How very generous of you, Lila," She said in her sweetest voice possible, but even to her own ears, it sounded fake. How did Lila keep this up all the time? “But, that’s not what you said on the tower when we fought that Akuma together.”

"What did you think I would say when you were obviously unfit to be a Hero! I didn’t want to risk you turning on me.”

“You didn’t think I was unfit when I helped save you and Chat Noir.” This time, it felt a little more realistic when she put the hurt look on her face, glancing away.

In the process, she caught sight of Adrien giving her a strange look. One she couldn’t really put a name to. But it was different than all of her other classmates. Why did he seem so much more confused than the others? 

The girl scoffed, "leave my partner out of this." She demanded, and it felt like a desperate attempt at redirecting the conversation. 

Fine. She could work with that too.

"You... do know that your 'partner' is my best friend, right?" She turned an apologetic look to Alya she only half meant, "sorry Als, but - you know," Marinette pointed between the two of them indicating the distance that had grown between them. They weren't nearly as close as they'd used to be. And while they were still friends, Marinette had a hard time categorizing her as her 'best friend'.

And the implication wasn't wasted on the reporter either. She was left staring wide with bewilderment and hurt. But Marinette was less positive it was because of not being best friends anymore and more that she hadn't told Alya that she spent time with one of the heroes she loved to chase.

"My partner would never hang out with someone like you."

God, she was just a broken record, wasn’t she? Did she really still think she was bluffing?

With a scoff and a soft shake of her head, Marinette pulled her phone from her pocket and swiped through her pictures until she found what she was looking for.

She wasnt trying to be smug about the way she flipped her phone around so she could show the class, but she definitely couldn't help the little smirk that pulled at her lips as the class gasped again, pulling closer so they could study the photo.

A photo of her and Chat Noir sitting a little too close together on her chaise lounge. Marinette sticking her tongue out at the camera, while chat gave the overly kawaii victory peace sign over his left eye like he was straight out of an anime. It was one of her favorites. They'd spent nearly the whole night binging on shows together after a particularly stressful day. The pictures had been a side effect of too much sugar, not enough sleep, and good company. And for some reason when Chat found out she’d been Multimouse, that increased her ‘coolness factor’ and they had something in common.

Of course, she couldn’t tell him that wasn’t the only thing they had in common.

Either way, it had brought them closer together as friends and they hung out often. 

Which was a reprieve given that most of her friends had abandoned her anyway. 

As Bianca stared a little blankly at the picture, a number of voices all began to pick up around them.

"You're actually friends with chat noir? That's so cool!"

“Does that mean you hang out with the other heroes too?”

“What is Chat Noir really like?”

"Wait, then that means you really were a hero? I thought heroes had to keep their identities secret."

That’s the one she’d been waiting on. Quickly silencing the others with a pointed look back at Bianca, "They do. But I'm not a hero anymore, am I Ladybug?"

"I-I..."

"Why was it again that I’m not allowed to be Multimouse again?" She put a thoughtful finger to her chin, but she felt her own fire building in her core, “I’m pretty sure it was nothing to do with being a menace to society.”

She tapped her chin a few more times, looking around deep in thought. Catching another glimpse of Adrien studying her carefully, but she refused to let his perfectness distract her because fuck these people.

Fuck the high road.

If he was going to be mad at her for standing up for her alter-ego then fuck him too.

But he didn’t seem mad. 

In fact, as soon as she locked eyes with him, a slight smirk pulled at his lips. It was roguish and totally out of place on his angelic face, but goddamn did it do things for her.

But the smirk paired with the slightly raised brow aimed at her said, ‘Yes, what did Ladybug say?’

It’s sarcastic and playful and familiar in ways her heart is not ready to admit.

But that would have to come later.

Marinette spun back to the imposter, narrowing her eyes dangerously, "Oh right! Because I'd accidentally revealed my identity to Chat Noir. Because identities are supposed to remain a secret."

"W-well th-there are exceptions!" Bianca tries to defend, but Marinette isn’t going to let her.

“No, I think you, just like your supposed best friend, are a liar. You’re not Ladybug. You don’t know a damn thing about Ladybug. Because if you were, you’d already have been beaten. You’ve been in this classroom all of what, one day? And the entire class already knows your ‘identity’? We’re all lucky you aren’t one of the heroes, otherwise, Hawkmoth would already have won!”

She was fuming now. All of the emotions finally catching up with her. She thrust an accusatory finger at Bianca, making the girl stumble back slightly, “You don’t know a damn thing about what it takes to be a hero. What they have to sacrifice to keep people safe. Besides, Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t even know each other's identities - why the hell would Ladybug share something like that with a classroom full of people who’ve been Akumatized at least once and not share that with her own partner?!”

Whatever fear she’d instilled in the new girl quickly swapped for something much closer to fury as she reclaimed her balance and advanced on Marinette with a fire burning in her eyes. “How dare you call me a liar, you little fucking brat!” 

Surprised at the outburst, Marinette didn’t move when she saw Bianca raise her hand to strike her, instead, closing her eyes and bracing for the blow.

A blow that never connected. 

A gasp brought Marinette to peak open her eyes before they widened at the scene.

Bianca stood where she had previously, hand raised and poised to strike. But just behind her, Adrien had moved - impossibly quick, seriously when the hell had she gotten up? - and grabbed the girl’s arm, hand clutching tightly at her, keeping her still.

“A-Adrien!”

“That’s enough.” He hissed at her, voice low and threatening. “If it wasn’t clear before, it definitely is now. You’re not Ladybug. She would never raise a hand to a civilian like that!”

“B-but - !” Lila tried to come to her ‘friend’s’ defense but was silenced when he shot her an equally terrifying look.

“I’ve had enough of you trying to turn everyone against Marinette. I knew you both were lying when you ‘accidentally’ revealed Ladybug’s identity to me yesterday, but I didn’t have proof to prove it. You’ve been lying to everyone about everything!”

Wait... The way he’d said accidentally... why did it seem so familiar? 

Her thoughts of the blonde-haired, green-eyed model were very suddenly replaced with thoughts of a similarly blonde-haired, green-eyed superhero who’d come looking for her on his night off, asking if she’d ever ‘revealed herself, accidentally or otherwise’.

“Adrien! Y-you’re hurting me!”

Marinette’s eyes were drawn to the boy’s hand, still tightly clutching Bianca’s in a vice grip that would likely leave bruises.

But that’s not what she was focused on. Instead, it was the familiar shape of his silver ring that drew her eye. Familiar because she’d seen him wear it since the first day she’d met him and never took it off. 

Except for the day they’d done the shoot for her website.

The day she and Chat had to switch Miraculouses.

Adrien.

Adrien was Chat Noir.

Her kitty had been there the entire time.

That’s why he’d been so angry. That’s why he’d looked so upset. That’s why he’d come looking for her and asking such strange questions!

Because Lila and her lackey had chosen the one person who’d know for a fact that they were lying.

And if she thought she couldn’t love him any more than she already did, she was sorely mistaken.

“What is going on in here?!”

Great.

She didn’t pay much attention to the chaos that ensued after Madame Bustier had walked in the room. Lila and Bianca had claimed Marinette attacked and Adrien had stepped in to help her and they were both sent to the hall because a number of people started speaking up and coming to their defense, suddenly not blinded by Lila’s lies any longer.

But now, she was standing in the hall next to her crush and her partner. 

“I’m so sorry Marinette.”

Her thoughts came to a startling halt as she turned wide eyes on him.

“I shouldn’t have ever told you not to call her out. I was stupid. I just hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

Marinette couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips, because how could she not have noticed? Model or not, that was the heart of her partner beating in that beautiful body of his. 

“There’s nothing to forgive, Adrien. Besides, at least you checked your sources.” She chuckled, finding so much irony in that statement. If he hadn’t come looking for her, she probably wouldn’t have put it together.

He turned a confused look on her.

The smile she turned on him in return was brighter than she’d given anyone in some time, “I told you, didn’t I? You’d be the first to know.”

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x08 Review

Most Likely To was the best ep of S2 so far and ended one ship while launching another. Let’s dig in!

Gaston was super fun, a very nice showcase for both Larry and Matt. This is the kind of energy that early S2 was lacking. Also feels like the first ep where East High might actually have a shot at beating North High. Covid restrictions played a role but we really needed to see more rehearsal scenes and scenes of the wildcats just being theatre kids. This also may be one of the last times we see EJ perform as a student in the musical so I’m glad we got this.  

EJ has been criminally underused for most of S2, he’s marketed as part of the big 4 along with Nini, Ricky, and Gina and Matt Cornett’s name is listed 3rd in the credits but in the early eps of S2 you’d think he was guest star. Lately he’s started to become more important and tonight was an excellent showcase of why he’s such an interesting character. I’m not gonna check but this feels like it’s the most EJ screen time in a single ep that we’ve gotten all season long. 

Of course, the main reason for EJ’s increased screen time is because of Portwell. I’ve been neutral on them but tonight they really won me over’ their scenes were so sweet that they warmed even my cold black heart. Matt and Sofia are good friends irl and that shines through in their easy rapport and great chemistry. Gina snorting at EJ’s joke was cute and I loved the shot of Gina accidentally walking into the shot for EJ’s confessional. As an aside, they’ve been doing some fun stuff with the confessionals lately which helps add a bit of the metaness that helped make S1 so great.

The real big Portwell scene tonight was EJ and Gina talking on the couch at Ashlyn’s. Lot’s to love there. Gina’s speech to EJ about what she sees when she thinks of him was sweet and her saying that EJ tried to do the right thing and often failed but kept trying echoes what she said of herself during her confession to Ricky. Also when EJ asked Gina if she understood the feeling of having her life mapped out she replied, ‘’not really’’ which is almost certainly the inspiration for Gina asking a question to EJ and him responding ‘’not really’’ in their pre S2 face time call on the hsmtmts instagram. 

EJ is still wracked with guilt for the guy he used to be but Gina reminds him that he’s grown and is a good guy which leads to her slip up about her seeing him that way vs the rest of the gang hinting that she’s beginning to catch feelings for EJ. Which leads to EJ complimenting her and them having a moment that could well have led to a kiss if Ashlyn hadn’t come home. And they cap it off with Gina falling asleep and EJ covering her with his Duke sweater. 

It’s been nice not seeing Gina upset over Ricky these past two eps and it’s a damning indictment of the poor writing and pacing of S2 that her story in the first 6 eps can be summed up as Gina being upset over something Ricky said or did. Not only has Portwell allowed EJ to rise in prominence but also it’s allowed Gina to escape the rut her character was stuck in pining for Ricky. 

I hope after S2 is over that we get an interview where Tim explains how the Portwell plot came to be. The S1 finale set up some possible interest between them as did the pre S2 face time call but nothing came of it during the first 4 eps, they stood next to each other a lot but barely interacted otherwise. Notably in 2x01, which Tim himself wrote, EJ tries to grow a beard and tells Ashlyn that he says her as so young which is extremely jarring now that we know that EJ is crushing on Gina who is Ashlyn’s age. 

Was Tim not set on doing Portwell until he realized he needed to give Gina something else to do other than hopelessly pine for Ricky? Narratively, it made sense after Rini got together in S1 to put the other two Big 4 characters together in S2 but did Tim not want it to seem so obvious to the audience so he deliberately kept Portwell apart until 2x05 where EJ’s feelings make for a nice plot twist? Was he just reluctant to plug EJ back into the love square due to how much more complicated it would make things but later felt he had no other options? Or was it just plain old bad pacing and writing?

Of course, I wish that there wasn’t such a large age gap between Sofia and Matt but there are no Gina ships that avoid that problem, there’s also an age gap between Sofia and Joshua, just as there was between Olivia and Joshua and Matt in S1. Depending on when they film S3 there’s a good chance that most of it will be finished before Sofia even turns 18 which is deeply unfortunate. There’s a broader issue of teen girls being cast in mostly age appropriate roles while their male love interests are older adults and in particular it often affects female characters of colour. Netflix has a really bad track record with those kind of age gaps but Disney has problems too as we’ve seen on HSMTMTS and on GMW where by the end of S3 they had 18 year old Peyton Meyer as the boyfriend of 14 year old Rowan Blanchard’s character (not to mention canon Joshaya which didn’t have such a bad age gap between the actors but was problematic regarding the ages of the characters themselves).

A knock I’ve seen on Portwell is that EJ is just gonna leave for university next year but that was never gonna happen, Matt’s under the same 4 season contract as all the other mains and he’ll be sticking around in some capacity much like Sharpay ended up doing in the movies. It is true that EJ will probably have to move on at the end of S4 while Gina still has her senior year left but that will also happen with her and Ricky since he’ll be graduating at the end of S4. It was a big mistake to make EJ a senior but it also may end up being a big mistake to make Gina a sophomore. It would have been too messy to retcon EJ to be a junior but Tim probably should have taken the chance to retcon Gina into being a junior in S2.

That Rini breakup was so sad (missed opportunity for gotta go my own way). They managed to get in a Troyella reference with the treehouse. This was inevitable they just have not been communicating well though now that we know that Ricky thought Nini left YAC for him some of his desperation to spend as much time together as possible makes more sense. I think Rini is endgame if the series has 4 seasons but it wouldn't shock me if we never seem them dating again and they only get back together in the series finale. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Nini never dates anyone else for the remainder of the series or at least not seriously. 

We’re not even halfway through the series so it’s way too early to permanently slam the door on Rini though this time apart will probably help Joshua and Olivia move on from their own bitter break up before it bleeds too much into their performances. I do wonder if Tim really has a clue what he's gonna do with them for the remaining 24-28 eps of the series, assuming S3 and S4 have 10-12 eps each. 

Roman Banks killed If I Can’t Love Her and the montage of all the couples or ex couples was great.

It was nice to finally meets some parents other than the Bowen’s and Salazar-Roberts’. Kourtney’s mom was played by Dara’s actual mother and their dynamic was great as expected. It seems from their conversation that Kourtney's father is dead which I don’t believe has been mentioned before. Cash Caswell.... well it gets what the character is about across. He really looks and sounds like a rich Utah republican, I bet he knows Mitt Romney personally. I liked EJ going to tell his father that he’s not going to Duke and recognizing that he wants to build his own life on his own merits. 

We saw a bit of that S1 Miss Jenn energy tonight which was fun though I didn't like how curt she was with Seb nor did I like how rude Carlos was to Seb although we know that blows up in 2x10. 

Jazzara rising! I really liked how Jazzara and Portwell are sort of mirroring each other and since Mazzara knows about EJ’s feelings for Gina it wouldn’t shock me if helping EJ out is part of him showing a softer side in 2x12.

Of course Ashlyn is VP of the Nostradamus society. It's clear her family has some kooky new age beliefs (her parents are probably members of some naturopathic medicine group on Facebook that doubles as a gateway into Qanon)

It was nice to see Big Red being such a good friend to Ricky and the return of Ricky’s infamous pillow hugs. Lmao at Ashlyn just chilling while Big Red is comforting Ricky

Also Miss Jenn saying sexy and Big Red referring to pillow talk, the writers are adding a bit of spice when cooking up these scripts.

Looking Ahead: 

Looks like Gina may be wearing EJ's duke sweater next ep according to some posts I saw. Jack presumably is there to somehow help Gina decide what she wants with Ricky and EJ though him having wanderlust might also feed into Gina’s thoughts on settling down in SLC or moving with her mom around the country.

Let's see what mom of the year, Lynne Bowen, has up her sleeves. Ricky’s bedroom at her place in Chicago looks much nicer than the apartment Mike Bowen has so perhaps she makes a lot more money than he does. 

Not looking forward to the Zoom portions of the ep but I guess it was inevitable. 

There’s only two paths for Gina’s story to go in the remainder of this season; either she decides to move on from Ricky and give EJ a chance or she decides that Ricky is worth trying again and squelches her budding feelings for EJ. The former looks much more likely after tonight’s ep but either way it needs to be handled with care. Inevitably Gina and Ricky need to talk about what happened between them but if Tim really wants Ricky to continue being a viable love interest or even a good friend to Gina then he needs to really have Ricky apologize and show a thoughtful, kinder side of him that’s largely been missing this season. 

What I think Tim is doing is setting up Portwell getting together in 2x12 but Ricky pining over Gina until Portwell break up late S3 and Rina get together in the S3 finale before they break up later in S4 and Ricky gets back with Nini near the end of the series. If I had Tim’s ear I would tell him that he should pick which ship he wants to do, Rina or Portwell, but don’t do both. He wants canon Rina? Great then end Portwell before it starts and have Rina happen in S3 and introduce other obstacles to them getting together rather than having to damage EJ’s character and make him lose another girl he likes to Ricky. He wants canon Portwell? Great then have Gina and Ricky’s conversation be closure for the both of them and have Gina and EJ get together and break them up without Ricky being a cause of it or waiting in the wings to get with Gina soon afterwards. Doing both will be a disaster and I truly hope that Tim Federle carefully thinks over his mistakes in S2 and really plans out the remaining 2 seasons of the series while there’s still time to prevent things from going really off the rails like GMW and AM did thanks to the bad decisions of Michael Jacobs and Terri Minsky. 

Until next week wildcats. 

[oodlyenough]

psychonauts 2 review!

I played the first few-ish (not many... I'd guesstimate under 4) hours of the original Psychonauts years ago, but found it unruly to control and never progressed further. I remember thinking the concept was neat, though, and when I heard a sequel was coming I figured I'd check it out, since it'd presumably be more polished.

The sequel is very very good. I think it is the best game I've played this year. It's also maybe the most creative game I've played... ever.

When Rift Apart came out, a lot of reviews said it was "like a playable Pixar game". Having played (and enjoyed!) Rift Apart as well, I gotta say while that may be true in image fidelity, in basically every other respect I think Psychonauts 2 comes closer. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who's ever enjoyed this kind of platformer.

More detail and possible spoilers:

I'll start with the cons, because there aren't very many:

I posted early on that I found jumping kind of unwieldy/frustrating, which is bad for a platformer. Although I got better at it as I got used to the controls, I still did run into scenarios where I was creating a thought bubble while trying to wall jump, or rolling off the edge of a platform I'd just landed on, or otherwise just finding jumping clumsy. I turned off fall damage pretty early for this reason; it was infuriating to just keep dying because I couldn't make a clumsy jump, and then respawn with increasingly limited health.

(Also, fwiw, because I know gamers were losing their damn minds about this when it was announced, turning off fall damage doesn't allow you to skip out on executing all the platforming. You just don't respawn with a health penalty if you fail. You still have to eventually time it right.)

A few hours after turning off fall damage, I turned off combat damage too. So I guess I can't really evaluate the smoothness or difficulty of combat fairly, because uh... I was immortal. This is just me as a player though -- I played large chunks of Spiderman & Miles Morales & Rift Apart on immortality mode. Boss fights simply do not spark joy for me; I want to progress a story without repeating a segment several times. I will say, in this mode, combat was fairly repetitive, mainly just psi blasting and meleeing everything. I kept thinking about turning it off, to maybe appreciate the challenge or figure out other techniques.... but I really just wanted to keep progressing the story, so I never did.

HOWEVER... there's a ton of extremely profitable games where combat is literally just "shoot", so, even then I wouldn't hold it against Psychonauts much.

I'm an idiot I guess and didn't realize levelling up skills was a separate thing from buying pins to augment the skills. So I played like a good chunk of the game with every skill at level 0 lmfao.

Easily my least favourite level is the first one, which I think is a bit unfortunate... I don't have, like, a dental phobia and I was still not really enjoying that part, and compared to how colourful and cool and imaginative the other worlds are it just seems like it starts the game off on a weird foot.

I know some purists are reading this like SO YOU PLAYED A GAME WITH NO DAMAGE AT ALL? Yep and I appreciate DoubleFine allowing me to do so. ✌🏻

And then onto the pros:

Like... everything else?

Playing Rift Apart this summer made me feel like a kid again, as a someone who grew up on cartoony platformers like Spyro and who still craves the satisfaction of first discovering you can charge that cracked wall and find an orb behind it. Psychonauts 2 had all that fun of exploring maps and finding secret, hidden locations and collectibles... on top of having the most creative and varied level design I've ever seen.

Seriously the levels were gorgeous. I was constantly spinning the camera around to take in all the little details, and there were SO MANY different levels where the gimmick would surprise and delight me. Almost every level for me was like "omg how did they think of that". Even when I was getting irritated by (for eg) the unruliness of trying to steer a giant bowling ball down a precise ramp, I was at least marvelling at the ingenuity involved.

The script was wonderful. Funny, charming, clever in its use of metaphor, and genuinely touching at times. If ever anything felt a little bit simplified, well, it's a kid-friendly game... I can't be too mad about that.

Raz is so endearing! It's very easy for the plucky young kid character to uh, become grating, but I always found Raz charming and I was rooting for him. Richard Horvitz is so good.

TBH all the characters were super lovable and funny. In a giant cast of cartoons I don't think there was a single one where I'd be like "ugh, this guy again" which is quite a feat honestly. They were all charming and well-acted and bursting with dialogue.

Even the random NPCs around the motherlobe who have their own progressing storylines via conversations... I love that detail! It was one of my favourite parts of Life is Strange: True Colours and I was delighted when I realized it was happening in this game too. It was fun to check in on some of your faves as the game progressed.

I'm pretty thorough, and I love exploring maps, and boy do these maps have a lot to explore, especially the hub areas. I STILL haven't figured out how to get everywhere in the Questionable Area, lol, or gotten every psy card, etc.

I like the music, especially the music in the quarry area that absolutely makes me feel like I am walking around Epcot. Perfect vibe. (And the Small World knock-off music in Nick's brain lmao...)

As soon as the projection started talking I was like, "this is GIR, right? This is intentionally a Zim and Gir thing?" So I felt validated by checking IMDB after lmao.

Ummm... I think that's about it. Honestly great game. I might give Psychonauts 1 another go... although I'd say there's a high chance I instead watch it on YouTube, lol.

[orbitariums]

winter with a weasley | fred w. + black fem. reader

i was tired of searching high and low for hp imagines with black readers so !! here goes my own :) send me recs of hp writers who write for black girls!!!

reader is a black woman and a ravenclaw!

happy holidays <333

word count: 5k

     The pitter patter of snow could be heard from inside the dimly lit library, wet snowflakes streaking down the window panes of the large window beside you. The night sky was falling upon you, twinkling stars forming around the top of the castle. The air was clear, no fog to be seen, but your eyes were glazing over as if you were in the midst of a fog storm anyway, your nose buried deep in a copy of “Winograd’s Wondrous Water Plants.” You blinked away the sleepiness clouding up your eyesight, stifling a yawn. The candle in front of you threatened to burn out, and you flicked a lazy finger towards it, the flame rising once again. You were grateful for the cozy, thick sweater Luna had knitted you, protecting you from the slight chill that was penetrating the glass window. You pulled it closer to you, though its warmth threatened to make you fall asleep. 

     You had hardly realized that your cheek was dragging against your palm, and that your eyes were feeling droopier than ever, until you were jolted to a start when you heard Harry Potter’s voice from beside you. He was standing at the side of the otherwise empty library table that you were sitting at, a book clutched beneath his arm. 

     “There you are, everyone’s been wondering where you were. Well, mainly Fred,” Harry admitted, his eyes glancing at you, hunched over your book with nothing but candlelight in front of you. “What’re you doing in the library anyway, exams are over.”

You pushed your shoulder blades back, relieving some of the tension in your body from being curled up with books for hours after classes had ended for the winter break. You were slightly relieved to see Harry, as you were starting to get sort of a headache from all the words jumbling up together on the page. You replied with a small smile.

     “Just doing some after-exam review, that’s all. I want to see what I missed, if anything. 

That way I’ll know what to study harder for next time, that’s all,” you shrugged, and Harry couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

     “Just like Hermione,” he noted. “I’m only in here because I’m returning a book. Fred will think you’ve gone mental, studying after exams.”

You chuckled to think of the pink-faced, tousle-haired Weasley twin. He was crazy about you, and everyone knew it. You, on the other hand, were far too focused on your studies to pay him any real attention. He was a distraction, and a horrible one at that— you’d never ace your exams if you were with him, he’d probably have you helping set up him and George’s next prank. Your playfully unamused demeanor towards his advances didn’t stop him anyway, he still teased you and flirted with you every chance he got, because no matter how much you told yourself you shouldn’t have a boyfriend, he always caught how bashful you became at his flirtatious remarks.  

     “Well, he’ll survive, won’t he?” you shook your head playfully, and Harry nodded in the other direction, out of the library.

     “Take a break, we’re having a little party in the common room, you should join us,” Harry suggested, and you took one glance from your books to the lanky boy in front of you before sighing and closing your book. Why not?

     When you clamored through the entrance to the common room after avoiding the Fat Lady’s attempt at a poor rendition of Deck the Halls, you were met with all the holiday cheer you’d ever need for a lifetime. The Gryffindor common room, already in the Christmas spirit with all its red furniture, was draped in Christmas lights and holiday wreaths. The sound of holiday music blasted through the room, bewitched so that it was unable to be heard by passersby, in the hopes that no one would break up their little party. 

     The smell of baked goods wafted past your nose as you entered, and you found your stomach growling— you’d spent lunch studying, hardly eating a thing, and you’d skipped out on dinner to huddle up in the practically deserted library. In the corner of the room was a tree that changed colors each time someone passed by it, and you could see aggravated gnomes shuffling about on one of the window sills, griping about how they were forced into itchy, tiny holiday sweaters. The room was warm and full of Christmas cheer, and you could even spot a student with a permanent drizzle of snow over their head, covered in a coat and a beanie with white flakes spotting the top. 

     You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, covering your mouth with your hand. You were glad Harry had gotten you out, otherwise you’d probably still be in the library half-asleep. This was much, much better, and you weren’t just saying that. You could see Hermione and Ron approaching you, broad grins on their faces.

     “There you are! We were hoping you’d show up,” Hermione gave you a hug, followed by Ron.

     “Harry says you were in the library. Honestly, I don’t understand you two,” Ron said, meaning you and Hermione. 

Hermione rolled her eyes while you just chuckled, though you were promptly distracted,

     “Well, I’m here now. Is that treacle fudge?”

You headed over to the table of food in a hungry daze, your mouth threatening to water the closer you got to it. You were stacking on food onto a holiday themed plate before you knew it, chicken legs smothered with gravy, greens, cornish pasties, pumpkin sandwich cookies, and treacle tart. You were about to grab utensils, your eyes focused on the table below you, until you were barricaded by two all-too-familiar figures on either side of you. You sighed in exasperation, looking up at Fred Weasley, who was in front of you, then turning to George Weasley, who was directly behind you. 

     “Fancy seeing you here!” George exclaimed, a wide grin on his face. 

     “Really, would’ve thought you were gonna be a no-show!” Fred cupped your shoulder with his hand, spinning you to face him.

     “Though, how could he miss you?” George started, making you turn again to face him this time.

     “You positively light up the room when you walk in,” Fred answered George smoothly, spinning you by the shoulder yet again for you to face him.

You were dizzy from the amount of times the twins had you spinning this way and that, but you steadied yourself in enough time to wag your finger disapprovingly at Fred, the main culprit in all this,

     “Must you always surround me?”

You reached for a fork and a knife, but Fred conjured both from his robes pocket, teeth sparkling as he grinned widely at you. 

You rolled your eyes, but took the fork and knife anyway, muttering a thanks.

     “Really though, where were you?” Fred asked, following you even as you walked away, side by side. 

     “The library,” you answered shortly, and Fred stared at you, shaking his head in clear disdain,

     “Honestly, woman, don’t you ever take a break?”

You turned to face him, snickering as you rolled your eyes and took a bite of your treacle fudge,

     “Don’t you ever take a break?”

Fred smirked, poking underneath your chin with a coquettish finger,

     “Not from you.”

You couldn’t help the heat that flooded your cheeks even if the response was corny. Fred Weasley was always quick on his feet, and never one to back down from a challenge. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like him in the way he so obviously liked you. It was so amusing to watch, even if it could be annoying— no matter what, Fred was shamelessly, devastatingly in love with you. He wasn’t embarrassed to be turned down, or to show it in the only ways he knew how: through poking fun at you and using the most annoying, yet memorable pick up lines in the book on you. 

     “I’ve noticed,” you cocked your head with a smug expression, and Fred only shook his head, gearing up to say something just as smug as you until he was interrupted by the soft hum of Luna Lovegood’s voice as she zoomed up behind you, happy to see you wearing her sweater.

     “YN!” she exclaimed, her voice wispy and cheerful as usual. 

     You turned to face her, completely dismissing Fred, who decided he’d get you back later. You engulfed her in a hug, and the two of you got to talking, dancing, and sharing a jug of butterbeer that George had smuggled in. 

You had finished the jug and your food, and you were laying back on one of the couches in front of the crackling fireplace, which was roaring high with orange-hued flames. You were tired, but the good kind, not from spending hours hunched over a book this time around, but from partying and eating so much you could hardly move. Ron, on the other hand, was sitting on the floor in front of you, scarfing down another turkey leg. 

      “Honestly, Ron, do you ever stop eating?” Hermione hissed on the floor beside him, and Ron frowned, whining through a mouthful of food,

     “It’s the holidays, Her-my-knee, let me live for once.”

     Apparently, it was now time for the gift giving, which the Weasley twins were in charge of emceeing, and they were making a very big deal of it. Each time someone was up to give a gift, they used their wands as microphones, their voices booming around the room as they called the names of the people meant to collect their gifts from the receiver. Harry had gotten Ron a Chudley Cannons quidditch shirt, you already had Luna’s sweater and you had given her a pair of flying sneakers to make flying that much easier. All the gift-giving and receiving was quite lovely to watch, and everyone ended up satisfied. The twins had made sure no one left empty handed, giving people goodies that would probably turn into toads in an hour or two. 

     “And now, the last present of the night, and we truly do save the best for last,” George announced with a proud, thunderous voice. 

Fred eased up beside George like a sneaky weasel, George throwing an arm around his shoulders. Fred had something in a sparkly, glittering gift bag, and everyone was intrigued, leaning forward to see what it was. 

     “Take it away, Freddy,” George patted Fred’s shoulder, then slinked away so Fred could have the floor all to himself. 

     “This gift goes out to a special someone,” Fred wiggled his eyebrows, deliberately making his voice deeper, and everyone started to hoot lowly. “A certain little smartypants Ravenclaw girl who has my heart.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes playfully and looking away from Fred, who had zeroed in on you. 

     “She’s a bit shy,” Fred joked, making the room erupt in laughter. 

     “Go on!” Luna prodded you, her eyes twinkling as she smiled at you. 

      You lugged yourself up off the couch and got up, making your way over to Fred, who was standing in front of everyone next to the color-changing Christmas tree, which burned a passionate red when you stood in front of Fred. 

     “You idiot,” you remarked playfully, and he only grinned, handing you the bag.

     “See what’s inside, won’t you!” George hollered, and you glared at him before opening the bag. 

     Inside was a flower in a pot full of red soil. Not just any flower, but perhaps the most beautiful flower you’d ever seen. Its leaves, a pale pink color, seemed to shine, light radiating off of the petals and basking your face in a warm glow. The petals were fat and wide, spiraling at the end into little hollow heart shapes, all of which were of varying colors. As it got closer to the center, the colors of the flower grew into deeper myriads of pinks and purples. You had never seen such a plant before, and you were a top herbology student, plants and flowers were your specialty. It was so beautiful, and probably rare as well. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but nothing like this. You were so surprised, you half expected it to be a prank of Fred and George’s, thinking it might transfigure into a mole rat.

     The rest of the students in the packed common room were just as shocked as you were, gasping and whispering amongst themselves, immediately enamoured by the unique beauty of the flower that made cooing noises in your hand like a little puppy. 

     “Fred,” you gasped, looking up at him with widened eyes.

     “Thought it’d fit you, know you’re into plants and all that smart people stuff,” Fred grinned, clearly satisfied with your reaction. 

     “I-it’s amazing, I-”

     “That’s not all, he’s got more for you in the bag!” George cut you off, and Fred shoved him playfully, laughing, 

     “Shut up, you bloke! Let her see for herself.”

     You ruffled through the bag, which was indeed full of your favorite sweets— honeydukes chocolate, pepper imps, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans, chocolate frogs, and more. You could hardly generate a response, your mouth stuck open in an o-shape. You liked Fred, but you didn’t expect this from him.

You chuckled, still shocked, and grinned, bemused,

     “Fred, this really is a lot, I honestly didn’t expect it. I-I don’t know how to thank you!”

Before you knew it, you were lunging forward to embrace him, hugging him tight in front of everyone. He was lucky he could cover his face in your shoulder, because he was red as a tomato. You gazed at the flower in your hands when you pulled away, still entranced by it. 

     “‘M glad you like it,” Fred murmured almost shyly, the first you’d ever heard him sound anything other than cocky.

You frowned, truly feeling terrible— you weren’t expecting anything from Fred, and so you didn’t get him anything. Now you felt horrible, standing there empty handed when he’d just given you the most thoughtful, beautiful gift. 

     “Oh, Fred, I didn’t get you anything!” you bemoaned, your eyebrows furrowing together. “I feel horrible.”

     “‘S alright, you’ll make it up to me,” Fred smirked, leaning back against the wall of the fireplace and folding his arms. 

The room filled with a plethora of suggestive “oohs” and “ahhs”, and when you turned to face Ron, you saw he had gone red from watching his brother flirt with you, meanwhile Harry was stifling a laugh, and Ginny was burying her face in her knees while Hermione rolled her eyes. You looked back over at Fred and couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head slowly. 

     “I just might have to,” was all you said, George leaping onto Fred in celebration. 

After the gift giving was over, well, it had ended with you, (and it really was best for last), the party started to wind down as people began to say their goodbyes and make their way back to their dorms. Most people would be going home for Christmas, but you’d be staying here at Hogwarts, scraping by with the few friends who would still be there. But, you weren’t getting away with it that easy. While talking with Fred, George, Hermione, Ron and Harry, you mentioned how you’d be staying in the castle for break. They all made an uproar in disagreement, shaking their heads and complaining.

     “That’s rubbish, you’ve got to at least come to our place over break,” George threw his hands up, and Fred nodded vigorously— you couldn’t help but think this had been on his mind the longest.    

     “Yes, do come to The Burrow, I’ll be there as well,” Hermione insisted, clutching your arm. 

You smiled, looking around at all the needy faces. You hadn’t expected them to be so welcoming, it was already a full house. You didn’t want to intrude, “Won’t your mom be so busy? I mean, all of us? I don’t want to make her holiday stressful.”

     George scoffed, 

     “The woman will make it stressful no matter what.”

     “Really. Besides, mum loves you,” Fred persisted. “She can’t get over me being with a smart Ravenclaw girl who’ll keep me out of trouble.”

You snorted,

     “But I’m not with you.”

     “You will be,” Fred shrugged, unbothered, and you refused to meet his eye because you knew you wouldn’t be able to restrain your smile if you did look at him. 

     “Come on, just come with us! We’ll be leaving in a few days and get there just a day before Christmas Eve, that’s more than enough time to pack your things,” Ron demanded, and you couldn’t help but give in, your body shaking with laughter. 

     “Alright, alright, I’ll spend the holiday with you.”

The circle of friends erupted into cheers, and you grinned, your sparkling eyes meeting Fred’s, who was truly glad he’d have you there for the break. 

     Things were really beginning to wind down shortly after, and you were getting ready to head back to your dorm and go to bed. Luna had already left, and you were one of the few people still remaining. You’d spent the rest of your time talking to that circle of friends, though Fred got next to you whenever he could and talked your ear off. When you were on your way to leave, holding your gift in its sparkly gift bag from Fred, you turned around at the sound of footsteps thudding behind you. It was Fred, running up to you, coming to a stop in front of you,

     “YN, wait. I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” 

     “Sure,” you grinned warmly. 

You and Fred left together, walking side by side in the dark, winding halls of the castle. You talked quietly, Fred taking any chance to make you laugh, and you did laugh each and every time. You stopped in front of your dormitory and stood there, facing each other, not quite saying anything, just smiling stupidly at each other. It was almost humorous how you tried to avoid your fate with Fred, knowing you liked him back. But you always beat around the bush, because you were really a very studious girl and you knew Fred Weasley would just be a distraction. But you knew he wasn’t that bad. How could he be?

     “Well,” you sniffed awkwardly, cupping your gift bag in your palms. 

     “Welllll,” Fred echoed, dragging out the word and making you laugh. 

     “Really, Fred, thank you, I can’t imagine how you even got this, it’s beautiful, really.”

     “Reminded me of you.”

     “Oh, Fred,” you groaned, making a face like you’d just tasted a sour lemon and laughing. “You’re so cheesy.”

     “But you like that about me,” Fred squinted his eyes at you, as if he was seeing right through you. 

     “I can neither confirm or deny that statement. Your head might explode if I confirm,” you teased, and he simply nodded in agreement.

     “You’ve got a point.”

     “Really though, how did you get this? I’ve never seen such a thing before. Don’t tell me you stole it from Professor Sprout.”

     “Honestly, how much of a git do you think I am? I’ve got my connections, that’s all. It’s special, keep your eye on it.”

     “Alright,” you grinned, sniffing the fragrant, honey-nectar scented center of the flower.  “I’ll leave you be. I really do feel bad that I didn’t get you anything though. If I’d known I would’ve-”

Fred shook his head, 

     “Oh shut up. Of course I had to get you something, all I wanted this holiday was to get you something you’d like. And you like it, don’t you?” You nodded, and he smiled. “That’s all I need.”

You smiled, pleased, then sighed,

     “I really should get going to bed though, and you should too, it’s nearly curfew.”

Fred merely shrugged carelessly,

     “Meh, I’m on break, who gives a rat’s ass what Filch tries to do.”

     “Okay, Fred, whatever you say,” you grinned, shaking your head playfully at his devil-may-care attitude. “Goodnight, now.”

     “Goodnight,” Fred smiled at you.

You started to turn to your dorm, but you turned back at the last second, saying his name,

     “Wait, Fred?”

     “Yeah?” he replied, only for you to lean forward and kiss him softly on the cheek, pulling away slowly and blinking ever so gently. Blush was rising up his cheeks steadily, and he looked like he had melted on the spot, gawking at you. 

You smiled, satisfied with yourself, and spun around, actually about to leave this time,

     “See you in the morning!”

That night, you could’ve sworn your flower grew at least an inch taller, and you hadn’t even done a thing to it.

In the few days you had left at Hogwarts, you and Fred had been spending an awful lot of time together. You were actually taking the time to get to know him, because deep down you knew it was what you both wanted. Each time George passed by you two talking in an empty corridor, he coughed, “lovebirds!” And finally, it was time to leave. You all boarded the train back home, you sharing a car with Ginny and Hermione while the boys stayed with each other, though Fred passed by every hour or so to try and amuse you. 

     “D’you like him, Fred?” Ginny asked, leaning her head against the cool train window. 

You looked down at the table, unable to hide your smile,

     “Yeah, I do. And he knows it.”

     “I think you two would be cute,” Hermione beamed, glancing up from the newspaper. 

     “I have to say, Fred’s never picked a better choice,” Ginny smiled. 

The holidays at the Weasley house were hectic, but they were lovely all the same. George didn’t lie when he said his mother, Molly Weasley, made holidays stressful, but it was the good kind of stress. You were never bored, or lonely for that matter. You always had something to do, whether it be crusting pies, helping Molly magically wash the dishes, pillow fights with Ron and Harry, or listening to Hermione go on and on about her marks for her exams. Besides, Molly really did love you. She kept gushing over how smart and well-behaved you were. And you were convinced Fred had lied and told her you two were a couple, because any time she saw you and Fred together, she cooed, “you two!” and snapped a picture, leaving you blinded by the flash of her old camera. 

It was probably the most bustling Christmas you’d had yet, and everything was going well.

     The afternoon before, Molly had cooked a wonderful feast to be scarved down for tomorrow, and she put charms on all the meals to keep them warm and protected from the boys, who she knew would try to sneak down and take a bite before it was time. You sauntered around the kitchen on Christmas Eve. It was nighttime, and the kitchen was pitch black except for the light emanating from the tip of your wand. You opened the fridge, trying to make yourself a glass of warm pumpkin juice before bed. You’d stayed up late reading, thinking everyone else had gone to sleep. But you were wrong, and you gasped when the kitchen light turned on suddenly. 

You jumped, clutching your chest and breathing in and out, only to see Fred laughing in the corner of the kitchen. You sighed in relief,

     “Jesus, Fred, you scared me. Thought I was the only one up.”

Fred cocked his head to the side as if he were examining you,

     “Late sleeper?”

You nodded,

     “Sometimes. Why are you up?”

     “I happen to be a late sleeper myself… and I heard your footsteps going down to the kitchen.”

You quirked a brow, amused,

     “So you followed me?”

     “This is my house, if anything, you’re following me,” Fred defended himself, folding his arms.

     “I’m only joking, Weasley,” you snorted, continuing to fix yourself a glass of pumpkin juice.

     “I like when you call me that,” Fred remarked, and you pretended not to hear him, but your cheeks were hot as ever. 

     He got closer to you, standing right beside you at the kitchen counter and leaning against it, watching as your hands shook out of nerves while you poured your juice. Since when did Fred make you nervous? And why was being close to him making you so lightheaded? He was looking at you, but you refused to look at him, keeping your eyes trained on your glass, not even noticing when it almost overflowed because your thoughts were elsewhere.

Fred, who had his cheek pressed into his palm, smirked, and did a onceover of you.

     “Need help?” he taunted you. 

You chuckled nervously, huffing,

     “No?”

     “You sure?” he asked, almost challenging you to look at him. 

You turned to face him, rolling your eyes, but you weren’t prepared for him to be standing up, towering over you. You took a deep breath in, while he simply grinned. You looked up at him, blinking rapidly as if there was something in your eye. 

     “Here,” Fred leaned into you, and you froze, only to realize that he was just pulling out his wand and tapping it against your glass. 

When you picked it up and took a drink, the pumpkin juice was just as warm as you’d wanted it to be, and you didn’t even need to heat it up like you were going to.

     “Thanks,” you grinned, your eyes flickering from his to the floor. 

     “Should be getting to bed. Happy Christmas Eve,” Fred gave you a slick three fingered wave and slinked away up the stairs, leaving you there to exhale a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. You were in over your head, for sure. 

On Christmas morning, you were the first one up, surprisingly. You got ready as quietly as possible, passing Hermione’s cat on the way to the bathroom as you got ready. For Christmas, you decided you’d dress nicely, putting on a well-fitting orange turtleneck with a black miniskirt. You headed down the stairs silently and found yourself in the kitchen, holding your plant in your hands so you could place it on the window in front of the sink and let it get a bit more light there. 

You paused when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and when you saw Fred, you bit down on your lip. He grinned at you, dressed in his personal Christmas best, a sweater with “F” emblazoned on it that his mom forced him to wear every holiday season, and black skinny jeans. 

     “Hey,” was all he said with a knowing smile, and you grinned. 

     “Hi.”

     “You’re up early,” Fred remarked, inching close to you so the only thing separating your body from his was the plant you were holding in between the two of you.

     “You are too.”

     “Funny coincidence.”

     “Yeah. You’d almost think you were trying to catch me alone,” you narrowed your eyes at him playfully, a smug smile tugging at the corner of your lips. 

     “Maybe, maybe not,” Fred played along. 

     “You’re a real joker, Fred Weasley.”

     “I know,” Fred agreed. “But I’d be a real Scrooge if I didn’t make one tiny little

improvement to this Christmas.”

     “And what’s that?” you chimed. 

Fred tapped his wand just above him, and lo and behold, a mistletoe flower appeared out of thin air, levitating above your heads. You looked up at it, holding your gaze on the plant for a few seconds before giggling, looking down at Fred who was smiling at you. 

     “Merry Christmas,” he remarked quietly, his brown eyes peering into yours, inching his head forward, spreading his warmth. 

     “Merry Christmas,” you practically whispered just in time for his lips to brush against yours, tilting your head forward to engulf him in a slow, sweet kiss under the mistletoe, the light shining in from the kitchen windows, a healthy amount of snow falling outside. 

His lips tasted like peppermint, and he smelled like mischief, but you wanted to hold him close. His sweater was scratchy and warm and thick, bristling against you. He was tender with you, his hands reaching up to roam your face, caressing your cheek and pulling you in closer to him by the small of your back, the petals of the flower in between you pressing against your chests. After a while, you pulled away, Fred’s cheeks red as ever, and your entire body on fire. You weren’t sure why you’d held back for so long, because now that you had a taste of him, you wanted more and more. When you pulled away, you blinked a bit, coming back down onto earth. When you and Fred met eyes again, you both giggled stupidly, clearly high off each other’s touch. 

     When you looked down at the plant, you noticed it had grown inches taller suddenly, and you looked down at it in bewilderment. It had done the same thing after you parted ways with Fred the night of the holiday party in the Gryffindor common room. 

Fred answered the question you were about to ask, 

     “It’s an Amorfluous flower. It’s meant to be given as a gift from one lover to another, so that each time we kiss, it grows.”

You were in awe of Fred. Not only had he managed to get you a gift that was extremely fitting for you, but he got you one that was even more sentimental than you had managed to realize. You were amazed, and you looked up at him awestruck, tears threatening to form in your eyes. 

He chuckled at the sight of you and hugged you close, careful of the flower,

     “Don’t cry!”

     “It’s- it’s just so lovely,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears from your eyes. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Fred smirked,

     “You’ve made it up to me, the lack of a gift.”

You chuckled,

     “Good.”

     “Er… should we kiss again? For the flower, of course,” Fred suggested, nodding down at the flower. 

     “Yes, of course. For the flower,” you grinned knowingly and leaned in again, your lips uniting in a sweet kiss once more. 

[andrea-lyn]

The Recs (Less Travelled)

I’m excited to bring you the first installment of my ‘roads less travelled’ recs! I will be doing another round of this, probably once the Ted Lasso fic tag hits about 25 pages, and then I’ll also grab a couple more fandoms to collect in there! 

The Rules:

Each fandom/pairing was sorted on Archive of Our Own by completed works. Anything recced here was not in the first ten pages when sorted by kudos at the time of reccing. There may be some more well-known authors on this list, but the specific fics I’ve picked are ones that didn’t crack that top ten or just didn’t get much traction and I think deserve it, so hopefully I have also balanced it out with other under the radar (and still great!) works. As ever, I have a pinned post of my other recs (none have been duplicated from there), so you can also check those out! Under the cut you’ll find 10 recs in each fandom for:

Raven Cycle

Roswell New Mexico

The Old Guard

Inception

Star Trek (mainly Kirk/McCoy)

The Raven Cycle

savor all the little pieces by littlelionvanz

“Since when do you garden?”

Ronan snorted, “Since I grew up on a fucking farm, genius. Jesus who gave you permission to pursue higher education.”

the old grip of the familiar by littleseal

"There is a single black feather and a printed out picture of Gansey, Blue and Cheng standing in front of some fucking monument Ronan didn’t care enough to remember the name of. Gansey sent it to Ronan’s phone some time ago, but it sat in his messages until Adam picked it up and grinned at it so hard that, one afternoon later, Ronan cursed and kicked and glared his old printer back to life in order to print it out.

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in love with a hoarder."

Adam collects things. Ronan is in love with him.

No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin by gansey_is_our_king

Ronan Lynch has wanted to kiss Adam Parrish for a long time.

(alternately titled: four times that Ronan could have kissed Adam)

Cheers to Another Seven Years! by skyermirth

Adam left Henrietta for Harvard and never returned. Now, seven years has passed, and an unexpected work assignment has brought him back to a place and people he hardly recognizes.

Row, row, row your boat by emmerrr

“What. Why are you smiling at me,” he says suspiciously.

Adam shrugs. “You’re cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute,” Adam says.

and now the world is ours to take / and every single move is ours to make by thatlittleblackcat

"Adam was the scientist, Ronan was the data, and Orphan Girl was the key that explained the strange outliers that Ronan presented, his previously unexplainable actions."

//

Adam sorts out his feelings, Ronan helps him, Gansey is the number one dad friend, Blue is the number one mom friend and Henry tries to make Ronan smile. Otherwise known as the story of how Orphan Girl became Opal.

All These Things You Make Me Feel by SilverOpals394

It was late. Adam could feel the long day catching up to him as he left Boyd’s, all his energy exhausted. When he started his car, the tape deck whirred to life once more. He sighed and raised his hand to turn it off, but before he did a soft melody began to play.

AU in which the mixtape Ronan made for Adam only plays the murder squash song until Adam realizes he's in love with Ronan, too.

Ways to Communicate by Jalules

Blue Sargent reflects on an early memory (and gets busy with her boyfriends.)

(The two things are related, trust me.)

Hold Me Closer, I'm Safe in Your Arms by actuallyronanlynch

“You wanna tell me why I had to hear from Henry Cheng that my boyfriend was at the hospital?” Adam hissed, though his voice wasn’t as acidic as it could’ve been. Ronan took small victories where he could.

“You don’t have a cellphone,” Ronan pointed out flatly. “It’s not like I could’ve gotten a hold of you.”

arts and crafts and the inevitability of death by sunshineinthestorm

Adam comes to the public library in search of a study spot, not a boyfriend. 

But it must be his lucky day—because he ends up with a bit of both.

 Roswell New Mexico

a conversation between insignificant others by Bellakitse

“Hey…have you noticed that our boyfriends are madly in love with each other?"

“You noticed that too, huh,” she answers dryly, letting out a huff of reluctant amusement.

***

Forrest and Maria share a drink and a conversation and start a friendship.

Own Personal Hell by BeStillMySlashyHeart

Now that Isobel's getting the hang of her telekinesis, Michael decides to test out his telepathic abilities. It backfires. Badly. Now Michael's trapped inside his own mind and only one person can break him out.

Drop the Hammer by brightloveee

Max makes a new friend at the shooting range, who turns out to be even more bad-ass than he expected.

(Takes place mid-S1)

Boys Like You by forgadgetsandgizmos

Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

—

Or, Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

let's exchange the experience by lostin_space

Michael decides they need to quarantine.

OR

Michael floods Alex with love and care over and over and over.

This Is Hardcore by Anonymous

Michael makes a proposal. Alex accepts. Michael wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) by Milzilla

michael discovers that the console can talk. then, he discovers it can do far more than that.

iridescence on skin by Lire_Casander

In a world where (almost) everyone has a tattoo on their right wrist with one set of coordinates that point to the place where their soulmate is born, Alex thought he wouldn't be any different. He couldn't be more mistaken.

He has two.

The Real Thing by elliebird

Max checks on Michael the morning after Michael saves Max’s ass from Wyatt Long and his dumbass buddies. He sees more than he’s supposed to.

Written for a Tumblr anon who one of their friends walking in on them or anyone of them finding out about Michael and Alex in an interesting way 

Sundering by romancandles 

“You know it was just an Air Force balloon, right?” says Alex.

Michael smirks. “That’s what they want you to think,” he says, with a wink.

The Old Guard

Peer Reviewed by ishandahalf

[From:] Journal of Medieval Studies (jms.eds@jms.com)

[Subject:] Ad-hoc note from the editor

I have noticed an uncommon level of animosity in your responses to your reviewers (or rather, one reviewer in particular). I am writing to ask if you would please do your best to keep your interactions civil. In fairness, I have also sent a similar request to the reviewer you seem to have this friction with. I trust you will both try and remain more professional in the future.

Again, thank you for submitting your work to this journal.

Sincerely,

James Copley, PhD

Editor-in-Chief

Journal of Medieval Studies

An (accidental) academic epistolary romance as (inadvertently) documented via a (theoretically) rigorously blinded peer review process.[citation needed]

third for a word and the song keeps going Macremae

It was honestly shaping up to be a pretty uneventful year before the Vatican got on Nicky’s bad side.

Or: three times in 2008 that the team genuinely thought about killing Nicky if only to get him to shut up about the changes to the Catholic English Mass and his unrelenting opinions on them, and one time Nile did.

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) by Sixthlight

Palaeobotany PhD student Nile Freeman and her supervisor Joe al-Kaysani are invited to billionaire Stephen Merrick’s new project – a theme park full of cloned dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?

This Rough Magic by Marivan

When Joe came to Scotland to study the sea, he did not expect to also encounter a beautiful man claiming that A. he’s a selkie and B. they’re married because Joe picked up his scarf.

It sounds like a fairy tale and that’s a problem. Because Joe’s a scientist. And selkies don’t exist.

Wars for the broken by Yuliares

Five years into his exile, Booker is joined by a companion he never expected to meet. Together, they try to work on healing.

Sometimes they go down to the sewers just so she can scream and scream. “I like to hear it echo,” she explains. “Underwater, you can’t hear anything. Here, at least I can be heard.”

“I don’t feel like a warrior anymore,” she tells him, throwing bread crumbs at pigeons. “I feel broken.”

“You’re still a warrior,” he says roughly. “This is still fighting.”

a good (eighth) impression by deanniker

Over the next few months, Joe runs into Nicky every so often at the farmer’s market. Some weekends Nicky doesn’t make it, because of his work schedule - Joe doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t ask, though he does start to recognize when one of those missing weekends is coming up because Nicky will stock up on things with longer shelf-life. When they do run into each other, they make small talk and move through the stalls together.

Joe doesn’t mention it to Lykon when he stops by, because it is kind of weird, that Lykon’s ex-boyfriend texts Joe things like - If you’re here, the apples look particularly good this week and thank you for that recipe, I did not know what I was going to do with that much couscous

Or,

Joe wouldn't usually consider starting anything with his best friend's ex, but as long as they keep it casual, it shouldn't be weird... right?

get back to where you once belonged by tenderjock

Nile takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes.

(Booker and Nile get that coffee. Life happens, along the way.)

a house; a home by mehm

“Is this a kidnapping?” Joe asks as Nicky checks both their seat belts. “Like, I don’t mind. It’s just not quite what I expected for my birthday.”

In which Joe gets a birthday surprise, because that’s the stuff you have time for when you and the love of your life become mortal at the same time.

the ties that bind by damaskrose

“There’s a story I heard many times,” Andy begins, “in the Mediterranean. Threads of fate and three sisters. One to spin, one to measure, and one to cut.”

Clutter And Croutons by flawedamythyst

Joe and Nicky have an argument, and then Nicky talks to Nile about what it really means to be in a relationship for 900 years.

Inception

My Big Fat Slightly Annoying Wedding by jibrailis

Arthur and Eames elope for ~tax reasons. Certain people in their lives are not happy at the lack of a wedding.

Remember Sydney by pathera

When Eames shambles into the safe house outside of London, he finds a red light blinking on the phone.

For the inception_kink prompt:

Arthur is on a plane which is about to crash. No way anyone is going to survive. Instead of panicking he calmly calls the team's office and gets the answering machine. He hangs up before the plane crashes.

Give me Arthur's last message to the team.

 (TW: Character Death / Angst)

Of Such Deceitfulness and Suavity by delires

In which emotions manifest themselves in unusual ways.

YO, K2tog (it's like a code) by lazulisong

“Oh my God,” moans Arthur. “I’ve paid less for Somnacin. Good Somnacin.” A horrible thought strikes him. “How much is the yarn --”

“I want you to have an unguarded reaction,” Eames tells him, and pulls him up from the floor.

(They run an extraction on a knitter.)

hit the ground running by orphan_account

"I travelled halfway around the world for you. I dealt with the French for you."

Valley by wldnst

It's an old story: a knight, a prince, a kingdom in peril.

If This Is Rain Let It Fall On Me and Drown Me by Brangwen

We used to be so brave, Eames thought. Of the two of them, Arthur had always been the more fearless.

a gentle familiarity by jollypuppet

Two weeks later, Eames is on his doorstep with bad Italian takeout and a grin, and Arthur tells him he can sleep on the couch.

Your Crisis Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by sevenimpossiblethings

Arthur doesn't do snow, Ariadne is determined to be as Midwestern as possible, and blizzards make cell phone service unreliable.

Let’s Say I Do (I Do) by xsilverdreamsx

There were, perhaps some things worse that this, Arthur thinks, as he glares at the letter in his hand with his name printed clearly in bold ink, indicating his presence in two weeks for his esteemed marriage to one William H. Eames, III, at St. Catherine's Church in London, England.

Star Trek (predominantly Kirk/McCoy)

Show the World That Something Good Can Work by knune

Leonard McCoy is a doctor, not a personal assistant, and maybe that's why he can't stand working for Jim Kirk.

It's in the little things by winterover

Bones is bemused by a persistent secret admirer.

"Wedding" Away with It by pendrogon

One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).

How Long Will You Stay (For Your Whole Life) by withthepilot

Jim Kirk, deputy director of the Enterprise parks and recreation department, sees all of his hard work fall to pieces when budget specialist Leonard McCoy arrives from the state capital to cut Jim's budget and threaten the livelihoods of his colleagues. But thanks to a major parks project, Leonard finds a place in the department, as well as in Jim's life—and when all is said and done, Jim doesn't want him to leave.

All-Time Favorite by mardia

What to do when your best friend suddenly starts making new friends. 

Joy Ride by Cards_Slash

While running for their lives from an alien species Kirk had accidentally enraged, they come across a car. And well, if you were to come across a car while being chased by aliens that wanted you dead, and you possessed some lingering knowledge of how to drive a car similar to said car, you would have decided to drive it toward the nearest cliff too.

Also a gunfight.

Syncytia by epistolic

He’d signed up for Starfleet on an impulse, but Starfleet meant James Tiberius Kirk: the first – and second, and third, and fourth – big mistake of Leonard McCoy’s life.

Renovation by canistakahari

Jim has a whammy put on him by an alien death ray and he suddenly craves domesticity. He's crazy with longing to shop at space!Ikea and get potted bamboo and he starts looking into adopting AND HE HATES HIMSELF AND CANNOT CONTROL THE SHIT. Luckily, McCoy is drunk all the time and plays house.

17:08 by butterflycell

She'd watched the news holos with a sick feeling, searching for information that was completely obvious in its absence. Amidst the reports of the the Enterprise's miraculous recovery and the damages sustained, there had been next to nothing about the crew or her captain. Jim had been mentioned only in passing, his name shied away from as his first officer limited interaction to the bare essentials.

The Honey of Hybla by shrift

"Bones, prepare to be my date."

[nachohypno]

Pine’s Football Jocks (Rewritten!) - Ch. 3

Past Pine’s POV

I could barely sleep that night. Not because of nightmares or stress, or anything bad at all-

It was because Garrett- (Wait, I can call him Gary now!) Gary sent me a two minutes-long video playing with his body, cock included. It wouldn’t be a big deal normally, except that this is like the first nude I’ve ever gotten and I feel like it’s a big deal.

Sure, I ‘ordered’ him to make it and send it, but it’s still really exciting!

I was replaying it for like the millionth time, I wasn’t keeping track of how many times I’ve seen this video but it never got old.

The video showed Gary posing shirtless, flexing his arms and torso for the camera, before laying down on his bed and playing with his hard cock. It’s quite impressive how he managed to achieve that body size and definition, but it seemed proper since I think a linebacker needs to be big and strong?

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t forgotten about all the shit he did to me and I’d like to have some payback time soon. But for now, this was enough to calm my ‘rage’.

Gary is silent for most of the video, except for when he softly moans whenever he’ll grab his own cock. I should change that for future videos, maybe some naughty talk can make it even better. But sadly, he was off to bed already. So it was just me, Gary’s video and…

[Hey, bro???]

Mike’s message from hours ago. He must be off to bed by now already, but let me see…

[Wanna chat?? U wont believe this match I just won-] I stopped reading, went out of the chat and focused again on Gary’s video. So nice looking pecs, great abs, that hard cock. Ooooof, it was making me hard all over again.

Putting a lot of will power though, I decided to put the phone down for the night (Finally, because it was almost 1 am) and went over to my bed.

‘Tomorrow will be even better. I know it’ I told myself, smiling as I closed my eyes while imagining myself playing with Gary’s body in person again.

----

Present Pine’s POV

I decided to start reading this thing before reading them out loud to Mikey, to make sure there’s nothing that’ll make him feel bad. Senior year was just a bitch, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I don’t plan on rewriting what happened to make a ‘Mike-friendly’ version because these are my memories, twisting them around would miss the complete point of writing them down in the first place. I just wanted to be able to remember how we got here without missing any details, and he wanted to hear the full story. Maybe I can just skip some of the rougher scenes when he appears?

Like, I’m not an angel either. I guess I was just a bit too rough back before the ‘golden rule’ was a thing, so up until then, the wiser thing to do would be review this thing and separate the unnecessary parts from the important ones, that way I’m telling a good story and I’m leaving the unimportant stuff out.

I gave a huge sigh of relief. This was going to be much easier than what I thought. Looking up, I noticed the big guy finished his shower and was trying to untie the bag around his cast while he walked on a towel around his waist.

I was kind of surprised it didn’t fall off, since he was having a bit of trouble with the bag. “Need any help, big boy?”

Mike looked at me, a little smile appearing on his face. “Oh, uh… Sure thing!” It’s been quite a while and he still had a rough time getting used to the cast. Luckily, it was supposedly going to be taken off in a few weeks, if everything goes right.

Leaving my laptop aside again, I got up and walked over to him. Mike extended his injured arm and I began to untie the bag. “What’cha doin over there?” He asked, looking at the laptop with a bit of confusion in his face. “Is it story time already?”

It was funny. I thought about this as a little way to distract him from… reality and stuff, you know, and he ended up taking it as a new part of his schedule. Even calling it ‘story time’ now, apparently.

“I mean,” I mumbled, almost finishing with the bag. “We can have story time now if you’d like. I was just checking the stuff to come, to decide how I should divide the chapters and that kind of thing.” The bag came off his arm, and he extended it a bit.

The jock leaned in and smooched me on the lips, before mumbling a little “Thanks, bro”. It made me smile, and feel all warm and nice. “And sure, I’d love to have story time now! Been a few days already, but didn’t wanna push you to read without you bringin’ it up first…” He scratched the back of his head, looking away with a nervous smile.

“Don’t worry,” I said, putting the bag aside before looking back at him. “Today was a pretty tame day, so we can definitely do some good story time. Wat’cha think, big boy?”

“That’s a new one. The ‘Big boy’ I mean. I like it. I like you…” He leaned in for another kiss, but I grabbed him by the hand before he could reach me, thinking about dragging him to the couch. That seemed to become the perfect place for story time. Well, that and our bed, but we have used the couch more and it was closer at the moment.

What? I can be lazy too!

But first… “Aww. Well, time to drop deep, big boy.” I told him, examining his face as I watched his eyes become glassy, and his mouth turn into a dumb smile.

“Yussss, bruh…” He managed to answer, completely under already.

I looked at him, his hunk body at full display, except for the part beneath the towel. I would normally tell him to dress up first, but I knew the guy wasn’t getting much action lately. Or, barely any action at all.

The cast on his arm apparently got into his way of flirting, and it doesn’t seem like girls around campus want to have fun with ‘the broken quarterback’. That’s the cruel nickname he got, and I plan on giving him a triumphant return once his arm gets better.

I have a hunch his arm will be ready to play football again soon, but I prefer to be 100% and ask a real doctor. I don’t want my best friend to end up with a worse injury because I forced him to play or something.

“Drop that towel, too” I ordered him, and he slowly moved his hand to the towel, undoing it as the gravity took effect. Soon, Mikey stood in front of me in all of his naked glory. Cock semi hard on display, I started dragging him with me towards the couch.

I sat down, and I told him to do the same. After grabbing the laptop and opening the story file again, I looked over at Mike and mumbled a nice “Wake up now, sleepy boy”.

His expression returned to his face, but quickly replaced by confusion as he was now in a different spot. “What…?”

“It’s okay, just lay down and enjoy the story time. Got it, big boy?” I leaned in and gave him a good kiss. He kissed back, sloppy tongue and all, but of course I had the lead on the make out session.

If we didn’t have the story time about to start, I would have thrown the laptop off my lap and jumped on top of the muscular jock.

But… gotta do what I gotta do. I stopped the kiss, caressed his face, and then turned my gaze to the screen as he laid down next to me.

“So… Where were we…”

-----

Past Pine’s POV

I’ve had an amazing day.

Still not used to the whole ‘powers’ thing, I missed the opportunity to make Garrett drive me to school. However, that was on my plans. I wanted to make the most out of my new-found mind control power!

Sadly, now that I wanted to encounter a jock so badly, it seemed like they were the ones hiding from me now. The few ones I saw (That I share classes with, at least) seemed to ignore me or not notice me at all. Which is nice but… I kind of wanted to try this thing out, okay?

Noticing Gary walking over with a few of his teammates behind him, I took a deep breath and remained in place. I don’t know if they saw me either, but there was a surprising and greatly appreciated lack of shoving today! My arm was grateful.

Mike was the last guy to leave the classroom, because he was a slow writer sometimes, so he needed to stay a few minutes more and get his stuff down to paper. Otherwise, the teachers would get very mad at him for ‘not paying attention’.

“Oh. Hey bro,” Mike said, giving me a warm smile before stopping at my side. I was staring at the passing-by jocks in front of us, and the big guy took some time to greet them as they passed by. “Huh, they looked pretty friendly today. Towards you, I mean…”

“I think so, yeah.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him about Gary being my friend now. Of course, the slave part was off the question, no-one could know about this nor anything related to my newfound superpower. That raised the question if I could erase memories by commanding that…

Lots of experimenting will give me the answer, I hope!

“Phew, glad to hear that” My former best friend patted my back. “I was getting kinda worried yesterday when I didn't get a reply. Y’know I can see when you’re online, right?”

I rolled my eyes. It was kind of annoying how he would pretend everything was fine and nothing ever happened. Even after a month or so of barely talking.

“But hey. I have the evening free after football practice, in case you want to come over and… y’know, play some smash or something” I got to admit that watching him act all nervous just because he was talking to me was a bit funny. It made me let out an internal ‘Aww’.

“Uhm… Sorry, got a study session prepared after football practice. So-”

“Wait, what?” Mike opened his eyes wide in surprise. “Are you tutoring someone from the team? Who is it? Huh, that was a quick solution to the… uh… thing”

Ignoring that last dumb comment, I answered with a “Garrett practically begged me to help him with his homework and a few more things. We made a deal, no more bullying in exchange for passing his classes”

I made up the story at the moment, and I surprised myself with how quickly I came up with that.

The jock placed a hand on my shoulder, a look of concern on his face. “If he tries something bad…”

“He’s pretty nice, actually” Now I was just being an asshole. “He dropped the ‘faggot’ nickname and treated me nicely yesterday. I was kind of scared, but he really surprised me.” I shrugged, trying to look like I didn’t care at all.

Of course, I was making it up. I can’t just tell Mike that I randomly managed to control Garrett’s mind and apparently turned him into a slave. I had proof that it hadn’t been a dream, since Gary sent me a video playing with his body and I checked it out again this morning.

“I don’t think we’re talking about the same Garrett…” Mike started. It was nice of him to get worried, but everything was under control. Besides, I was still mad at him even though the problem was now solved, but it wouldn’t hurt to teach him that actions have consequences.

‘I’m an awful friend’ I thought, but the thought was shrugged off quickly when Gary approached us.

The mean jock punched my shoulder in a rough but friendly way, which caused Mike to shoot a glare at him, but still not move. It hit different now, not hurting as much as before and being kind of… Glad that he didn’t jump on Garrett’s jugular now.

I mean, it’s just like when you get a new toy and you don’t want anyone to break it.

“Hey bros. Wat’chu talking bout?”

Mike and Gary weren’t really fond of each other. The tension could be felt as I was trapped between them, Mike still glaring at Gary and the latter trying to ignore him by staring down at me. It was funny how Gary is supposed to be bigger than Mike, due to him being the linebacker.

Truth is, they are almost the same size, Gary surpassing my childhood friend by a bit more of muscular definition. Mike doesn’t look bad, but I know he’s fully natural. Meanwhile, I still suspect Garrett is on steroids.

“Uh… I was about to ask Pine here if he wanted to come over and play some smash,” I could practically feel how Mikey was hoping for Garrett to not jump in the wagon and ask to join. “So… What do you think, bro?”

I was going to answer him that I was busy. That was my usual excuse when Mike wanted to hang out. I was still not ready to hang out with him again, I needed a bit more time to calm down, now that Garrett wasn’t a problem anymore. There were still the other football guys, so that was a thing to take care of.

“Can’t do, bro. Lil’ Pine here and I got a study session, gotta take all those maths and shit in.” Garrett answered for me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me a bit. It sounded a bit rougher than what I intended, but it did the dirty work for me, I guess.

“Well, how about after your study session? We barely hang out anymore…”

I gotta give it to the guy, he was actually pushing for it this time. I appreciated that.

“Sure, if we finish the studying thing quickly, I’ll head over to your place.” I patted Mike’s back, and he smiled faintly.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Gonna be practicing my fighting skills!” My jock friend seemed excited, all of a sudden. “Gonna get going now, but hey, see you later!”

Gary and I watched as he turned around and started walking away. He seemed happier now, but Gary had a look of disgust on his face. “He’s kind of annoying, bro. I don’t know how you put up with him”

“Hey, don’t talk about him like that. Just because we discussed doesn’t mean you can trash talk my best friend, got it? Besides, it’s your fault we even discussed in the first place” No, it wasn’t. Mike went around telling my business to his teammates. But Garrett played a part in me being really mad at Mikey, so he did have a bit -lots- of guilt.

The glassy eyes returned, as he mumbled a quick ‘Yeees, bro…” before his face returned to normal. “Uhm, sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you, bro”

“It’s… okay. Should we get going? That ‘study session’ won’t get done by itself.” I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself cool.

“Yeeaaaah… So… About the studying thing…” The big jock scratched the back of his head, a somewhat childish grin on his face. “I invited a friend over”

“You did what?” I was, of course, going to scold him! How could he be so… Irresponsible! I tried to keep my cool as best as I could, because I couldn’t show that I was Gary’s ‘master’ at school.

“Please don’t be mad, but he’s coming right up to leave with us…”

“This is the tutor dude, right?” A guy said behind me. I recognized that voice…

Slowly turning around, I took a moment to observe my classmate. Brent had short hair, almost a military cut. He used to keep it long but according to Mikey, his dad made him cut it and he’s kept it like this ever since.

A bit smaller than Gary, but still displaying a good physique, Brent was wearing a green shirt and jeans. His varsity jacket was tied to his bag, which I couldn’t understand. Those things are GREAT! They look really good, they are warm and cozy, AND they make the wearer 10 times hotter, like some kind of rpg armor with special stats.

I know what I’m talking about, when Mike got his varsity jacket I would ask him to let me wear it just because it’s cozy and keeps me warm in winter. The big guy was happy to do so, but he really adores his varsity jacket so I couldn’t keep it away from him for too long.

Back to the ‘extra student’ situation, though!

I was unsure if I should take Brent in. He was… okay. I mean, personality wise. I don’t keep tabs on which jocks go after me and how much they do, it’s usually peer pressure and if I go into that, I’ll have more revenge to do than the Green Arrow.

‘You’ve failed this nerd’ and then I enslave them. Hehe.

And if we go by appearance wise, the guy is hot. Most of the football guys will be hot for me, because I like big guys and they go through some rough training. Even the shortest guy has a nice build, it was surprising.

“Pine. My name is Pine” I stated, not really annoyed at being called ‘tutor dude’ but if I was going to help him, then I expected some degree of respect.

“Cool. Brent.” He extended his hand, and I shook it. I kind of expected him to be all rough about it and crush my hand, but he was quite gentle. That earned him some points.

“Uhm… What do you need help with…? I got to know what I’m going to help you with before we actually get on it.” It was logic, I’m not going to wait until we’re at Gary’s house. Not that it would matter much but… Hey, maybe I can do some good with my powers.

Y’know, proving I’m better than these guys by helping them, alongside having my little payback?

It’s also a good testing ground for my powers, to see if I can make them somehow smarter. Huh, it just sounds better and better.

“Math. My bro told me you were helping him with it yesterday and I really, really need some help before the exams. I ain’t really on edge with my grades, but I don’t wanna risk it.” Glad to hear Gary has been using the excuse I told him to use.

“Hmm. All right then, let’s get going and I’ll do my best to help you with that” I tried to sound cold, but again it fell flat. And Brent just didn’t seem to care.

He looked at Gary and said “Huh, you were right, bro. This guy’s a life-saver!”

“See? Told ya. We kinda made a deal and I’m leaving him intact as long as he helps me, so maybe he’ll extend that deal to you and you won’t need to pay!” I kind of wanted to kick Gary’s nuts right about now, but kept it to myself.

I don’t know if I could make Brent my slave as easily as I did with the first one, so I was really hoping Gary would shut up until I figured things out.

We set on our way after that, walking towards the exit and then towards Gary’s car. I sat on the back seat this time, since I figured the new jock would like to sit with his teammate on the front.

But then, it struck me.

“Hey Brent. Sit on the back with me, will you?” I said, in a commanding voice. If this didn’t work, I would have earned myself a beat up.

“Sure, why not” was his answer. I didn’t see his face, but I don’t that was just him being nice at the tutor dude. He totally glazed out when I ordered him!

There was a bit of a gap between us, as we sat on the opposite sides of the seat. Gary didn’t seem to care about the situation at all, he sat on the driver’s seat and just waited for us to be ready. Once we were done, he turned on the car and drove off.

I looked at Brent, trying to figure out what to do now that I… ‘made’ him sit on the back seat with me.

Moving closer to him, I tried something out. “Uh… Brent,” I figured it would be important to state his name, this way Gary wouldn’t get confused and get the command as his own. “Don’t mind at all what I’m about to do; It’s totally normal and you’re okay with it.”

This time, I did look at his face. Eyes glazed over, and he slurred a “Yeeaah…”.

Awesome.

I moved my hand and lifted his shirt up. His body was pretty nice, and I didn’t hesitate to feel him up. I was getting the hold of this ‘controlling guys’ thing!

My hand went down, until it rested on top of the jock’s crotch. Brent just stared through the window, not caring about what was I doing. This. Is. The. Best.

I kind of wanted to undo his pants and grab his package, but I think it would be better if I left that for later. I had a little idea, and I wanted to see it play out instead of just rushing things.

I did have a little idea, in the meantime. “Wrap an arm around my shoulders” And Brent did so, while still not paying attention, apparently. It was warm and it felt good, so that was enough to satiate my hunger for control, heh.

I noticed Garrett looked at us through the driving mirror and asked “Huh, getting comfortable back there, aren’t ya?”

That’s when Brent looked down at me, noticing he was hugging me. I thought he was going to pull back, but he didn’t. “Yeah, I guess so. You don’t mind, right dude?”

I shrugged. “It’s kinda nice. Pull me closer and hug me tight.”

“Okay.” It felt even warmer now, and I loved it. The fact that he’s totally oblivious or doesn’t care about it makes it kind of hotter, but I’d prefer to have him like Gary was just yesterday. Waiting for orders with a big smile on his face.

“You don’t think this is weird?”

“I would, normally. But I want to do this, otherwise I’d tell you to go fuck yourself” Quite straightforward, but I didn’t mind. It helped me think that whenever I order something to these guys, it appears to them that it’s actually their own idea.

Garrett chuckled on the front. “Don’t get too comfortable. We’re about to arrive” That’s the thing when you live in a small town, everything is right around the corner, or it feels like it.

I managed to enjoy a few more minutes with Brent hugging me like this, before Garrett parked in front of his garage. That was our cue to get down. Brent didn’t seem to mind at all what just happened, which was… okay.

On a little side note, It was weird how Garrett’s parents never seemed to be at home. I guess it fits the guy’s style well, got the whole place to himself in case he wants to bring a ‘friend’ over, or something. I wouldn’t mind having a mansion to myself either, so that’s good for him. I guess.

Once we all got out of the car (Brent wasn’t being so… ‘close’ to me anymore, but rather came back to barely interact with me), we entered Gary’s place and I took a moment to take in the big place.

“So, up to my room again? Or do you guys prefer the dining room for studying n’ shit?” Garrett asked, tilting his head a bit.

I looked at the two guys, and decided to take the lead from this point onwards. If I was going to be the ‘teacher’, then I had the choice!

“Your room would probably be a bit cozier, and your desk has enough space for you two. Just imagine we’re at the school’s desks, if anything.” I answered, my voice sounding a bit more nervous than before, but I tried to reassure myself that I could do it.

Brent didn’t complain, he just shrugged and went “No problem by me” He wasn’t being mind controlled to agree, I could tell. But my plan was going smoothly, so I didn’t mind.

That being said, I was growing impatient as we walked to Gary’s room. Once we entered, both jocks sat in front of the desk, grabbed their bags to get their school stuff, then waited for me.

I didn’t want to just be like ‘You will now obey me completely! Nyehehehe!’ because that sounded a bit lame, and I don’t know if they can break out of it if I don’t put special care or something. So, let’s give it my best!

Both guys had problems on long operations, so I grabbed my own notes and gave them a few of the exercises we’ve seen in our classes. I did my best to explain it to them, and tried to say something like ‘Remember this well’, to make sure they learn to solve it or at least keep my explanation in their heads and work their way around it.

Garrett got around the first exercise eventually, a few minutes after we started. He was a good boy!

Brent wasn’t being so lucky, sadly. “Need help with that?” I asked him, placing my hand on his shoulder before taking it away quickly.

He looked at me a bit confused, before realizing what just happened. “It’s… alright. Just can’t get how you get the two last results…”

I leaned over to see his sheet. Huh, he was barely making any progress. I see that this guy really needed the help.

Luckily, I can help him. I shouldn’t, because I remember Brent being one of the football guys that bullied me, but I’ll get to the payback later. Now, I can do some good actions, right?

“See, you missed the point of these numbers here… This one replaces B, this one goes where A is –both As- and this one replaces C. Got it so far?”

“I guess so…” Brent traced little arrows to which numbers replaced which letters in the operation. I looked over at Gary and he was silent, still doing his own exercises.

“Good. Now, just do as I say. It only gets easier from here.” I mumbled, but quickly got silent.

I noticed Brent’s face relaxed after I said that. “Do as you say…” He repeated, eyes glazed over again. Gary lifted his head and looked at Brent. A little smile appeared on his face, as he gave me a quick thumb up.

Not going to lie, it was a bit getting on my nerves how this thing worked at random. Must be something on how I phrase my words, or the way I say them? I have no idea, fuck.

Was he happy I just did something to his teammate? I mean, it was nice but… weird.

Anyway, I guess that should do the trick? I still wanted to do something else because that didn’t erase my fear of him overcoming the mind control. Gary apparently already accepted it, and he seemed happy.

I shrugged off my thoughts and kept explaining the rest of the operation. It went nicely, as Brent only focused on what I had to say. That seemed to make everything really easy for me!

After he got his results, the big jock patted my back softly. “Thanks, man. I dunno how you got this stuff in, but it just seems so easy now!”

“Hey, it’s… okay, I guess.” I answered, my voice stuttering a bit due to the nervousness.

I’m not used to being praised by the jocks, much less having them chat normally to me. And the fact that he was trying to avoid most contact before made me think that he does remember the stuff his team did, including himself.

Garrett looked up again and punched his friend’s shoulder. It seemed rough, but Brent apparently didn’t mind. He just coughed a bit and looked down to the floor. “And, uh… Sorry for… Y’know, all the stuff that happened to you. Not gonna happen again… Not by me, at least.”

A little smile formed on my face. I wondered if Gary had talked to him about apologizing, and if he did it with anybody else. It felt nice, didn’t erase all the stuff that happened, but still felt nice.

“Actually,” I started speaking, catching both jocks’ attention. They stared at me, not muttering a single word or seeming to interrupt. It was like I was a superior, which in a way, I was for Gary but not for Brent. Not yet. “I have an idea that I know you both will like.”

“Huh, what is it?” Garrett asked, leaving his pencil on the desk and turning his chair around to face me.

“Got me all curious now, hahah” Brent told his teammate, before facing me too.

“Lil’ bird told me you come from a military family, right?” I asked Brent, ever so casually. He didn’t take it as funny, though. His smile quickly turned into a frown. ‘Such a way to go, Piney!’ I told myself, wanting to bump my head on the wall.

“Uh… What’s it to ya?” I figured he wouldn’t be as open when I brought up his family. As I mentioned, I knew he came from a military family, and Mike had told me a few stories about the guy getting mad because his teammates mock him about it.

“N-Nothing, I just… uhm… thought it would be… Forget about what I said, I know the answer already.” I tried to shrug it off, trying to slip back into the ‘I’m in charge here’ mentality. “Both guys, strip down to your underwear. You won’t think this is weird, it’s actually a fun game that I’m totally not making up”

I got to see their faces blanking out, as they got up and started lazily getting undressed. Shirts went off first, which revealed some nice pecs and abs, always nice to see those.

Brent was actually a bit smaller than Gary, like, in a muscular way. He was still nice, but barely near Gary’s level. Points for Gary, I think? Brent still had a nice hunk-ish build, and I didn’t notice this before but he had a pair of blank dog tags hanging from his neck. That was a cute detail!

The shoes went off second, then the pants. They struggled a bit with those because they tried to take their clothes off as quickly as possible, but they also made weird robotic/lazy movements, which I assumed was because of the mind control. Other than that, I was very satisfied with the results.

Two semi-naked jocks in front of me, what to do now?

“The game I had in mind is called ‘The jock and the soldier’, ever heard of it?” I asked, and the guys shook their heads in denial. “Well, it’s a very fun game played by three persons. There’s the jock, that’ll be you, Gary. There’s the soldier, which will be played by Brent. And then there’s me, the game master!”

They were visibly confused. Brent was the one not enslaved yet, so he said “Wait, why are we playing a game? I thought we were studying…?”

I found it funny that he didn’t think it was weird that he just stripped to his underwear because I said so.

“The game is actually very important! Will teach you a valuable… very valuable life lesson, okay?”

“Ooookay… How do we play?”

“It’s simple enough! First, we gotta decide who’ll be the superior one between you two, or the ‘top’. Whatever you want to call it.” It was actually quite hard to come up with this stuff. “Let’s settle it with…” I blanked out. Like, not in trance/mind control way, but in a ‘I’ve run out of ideas way’. I had to get a notepad and write my ideas now to avoid this from happening!

‘C’mon, Piney. Think!’ I told myself. What would a jock do to solve a dispute between ‘bros’? Hmm… “A wrestling match. This is a very good idea and you’re both eager to participate!” I didn’t know what I was saying, but if I was correct, a wrestling match was the one where they tried to out-strength the other guy and not the one where they blow their teeth out with punches.

“Hell yeah!” Gary shouted, not blanking out this time. It didn’t bother me; I knew he already was pretty much enslaved already. “Prepare to lose, bro!”

Brent didn’t turn down the offer, so that meant it worked on him too! “Gonna make you bite the dust, Basch!” The soldier-guy replied at Gary, as they started getting in position a few meters away from each other.

At first, I thought a wrestling match wouldn’t be a good thing because this is Gary’s bedroom, but I think the space is wide enough for them to wrestle between the bed and the desk. I just pushed the chair and the stool into the desk so they wouldn’t get in the middle.

“Ready?” Grunts of approval were heard from both sides. I walked to my safe area: Garrett’s bed, and got comfortable. “Start!”

Gary had the upper hand at the start, lunging at Brent and pushing him back to his own starting line. Brent wasn’t too far behind though; he was putting up a good fight to not go down so easily. It was pretty entertaining to watch, especially with both participants being in their underwear.

“So, uh… I forgot to tell you guys what the game master does, so I’ll just explain it while you two wrestle. Is that okay?” They were too busy trying to win to talk, but they grunted again in approval. “Well, as the game master, I’m the one to tells you what to do, and you’re the ones that do it without a question. It’s totally normal, just doing what I say without a second thought”

The wrestling slowed down for a second, from both sides. Brent seemed to be gaining the upper hand now, but Gary being a bit bigger than him didn’t make that easy, at all.

“And for my first order, I want you both to get hard. You both find this game incredibly arousing.” Gosh, I hope I didn’t sound too weird.

“Yes, master!” Gary managed to say, while he pushed Brent off.

“What the… heck?!” Brent said, and I figured he didn’t like the ‘master’ thing.

“It’s okay, Brent! I’m Gary’s master, so it’s okay for him to call me that. And actually, I’m your master too, understood?” It was a lame ‘easy fix’, but it should put him to work quite fast.

“Yes… master!” I don’t know if they can resist my orders, but two guys in a row couldn’t do it so… I had my hopes up! But actually ‘master’ didn’t sound so well coming from Brent. And he is the soldier player…

“You don’t get to call me ‘Master’ though, Brent. You’re the soldier, remember? You got to try and fit your role!”

“Sir, yes Sir!” He shouted, trying to keep the composure against his rival.

“C’mon, dude… Just… lose… already!” Gary was struggling to keep the smaller guy off him. And his words only seemed to make Brent stronger.

Soon, Gary was the one losing. Two taps on the floor later and… “Yes! I did it, Sir!”

Brent had won. I didn’t want that, honestly. I would have preferred the jock to win. But… I am the game master, right?

I noticed that both guys had their rods up and going too, they seemed constrained in their underwear, and the thought of them just wrestling while having hard-ons made everything way better.

“Great work, you two!” I congratulated them, as I watched them get up again with big smiles on their faces. Seems like they had fun too! “Looks like the soldier came off as the superior one, you know what that means?”

“Nuh-uh” They replied, almost at unison.

“Well, let’s see… You guys face each other for a moment, okay?” The jocks complied, facing each other as ordered. They seemed excited to continue with the game, which made me really happy! “Brent, since you’ve won, you proved to be the superior one. And… As the superior one, you have to be good with your inferior mate and make sure he feels well, don’t you?”

“Uh… Not sure how would I do that… Do you need something, bro?” He asked Gary, who shook his head. “Nope, I’m fine. Should I need something, Master?”

“Make out, guys. I’ll take care of your underwear in the meantime” I ordered, looking expectantly at them.

“Sir, yes Sir!” “Yes, Master!” They said, before getting down to business. Garrett pulled his teammate in for a good, sloppy kiss. Needless to say, I was already rock hard.

After watching for a few seconds, I turned my view down towards the underwear. Slowly pulling Gary’s down to release his cock, then tapping his feet for him to lift it and finally throw it away. Same deal with Brent, and soon they were fully naked in front of me.

“Now, stop kissing.” They stopped. It felt weird, but funny. Like, having them do what I say. It felt nice, really nice. “Brent, kneel and face Gary’s cock.”

“Sir, yes Sir…” He mumbled, before dropping down and staring at his teammate’s dick.

“Take it in your mouth, nice and slowly… Have you ever gotten a blowjob?” I asked, and Brent nodded. Huh, never really put thought into it but I guess jocks really have better luck in their sexual lives. “Well, I want you to give Gary a blowjob to get his cock lubed up. And you’re going to enjoy every second of it!”

“Sir, yes Sir!” He started licking Gary’s shaft, nice and slowly as ordered. I don’t know if he was an expert, because I’ve only seen these things in porn. But Gary started moaning and blowing some air, while Brent took it to the next step and swallowed the tip. He started getting more and more inches in as he did so, and I LOVED it!

“How does it feel, Gary?” I asked the other guy, a big smile on my face. I was really enjoying this, and I still couldn’t believe that I was capable of doing this!

“Awesome, master! Thanks for givin’ me a slave-bro!” Huh, didn’t think of it that way, but kind of glad to see he’s happy too!

I let them keep going for a few more minutes, before I ordered to move to Gary’s bed. They sat on the edge and waited for more orders. “Now that Gary’s cock is all lubed up, thanks to Brent’s good soldier service…” Brent gave me a quick military salute after those words, which made me smile a bit more. “We’re going to take things to the next level. Brent, lay on your back and lift your legs up.”

“Sir, yes Sir!” The naked ‘soldier’ obeyed perfectly, and I had a feeling Gary knew what was coming, because he has this big smile on his face too. This ended up being a wonderful tutoring session, and it wasn’t even over yet!

“Now Gary, get behind him and place his legs over your shoulders. I want you both to fully enjoy this and… uh… embrace your status as my slaves the more you obey, understood?”

“Sir, yes Sir!” “Yes, master!”

“Great! Now… Gary, I want you to fuck Brent.” It was pretty straightforward, and I thought I would have to explain him something about it, but he got his cock aligned with Brent’s ass and started pushing in. I pushed my glasses back, grabbed a seat and enjoyed the action.

Brent’s blank dog tags started doing that ‘cling cling’ sound metal does when hitting against more metal, but it was kind of silenced by the pair’s moans. They barely trying to hide it, they loved it. And I loved it even more!

I was playing with my bulge as I admired my handy work.

“You like that, Brent? Is Garrett doing a good job?”

“Hnng… Yes, Sir! I love it! I’m fully enjoying it!” That was a weird response, but I guess that’s what I ordered him before. Eh, it was alright.

“What about you, Gary? Like that ass?”

“Uh… Yes, master! Fuck… I love this. Ugh… you’re the best master, eveerrrrr…” He groaned as he picked up the pace.

“Woah, not so fast buddy! Let’s do something. When you both cum, you will accept that you are my obedient jock slaves. No questions asked, and you are totally happy with that.”

“Yeaaaah…” was their answer, and I was delighted.

“Great. Now, feel free to cum whenever you’d like. I’ll just sit here, and enjoy the view…”

-----

“You call me if you want a ride home, okay master?” Gary said, shaking my shoulder a bit before giving me a sort of worried look. I was just going to my old best friend’s house, so I didn’t know where that was coming from.

“Will do. I can just walk though. Would be pretty pointless to make you drive all the way over just to take me some streets”

“Hey, I don’t care. You call, I’ll be there” That’ll never seem normal. I’m used to seeing Garrett as a threat to my very being, and him acting so… friendly. It’s weird, however you look at it.

I nodded, deciding to drop the conversation, but Gary leaned in and pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t resist, it was a nice surprise. After that, he mumbled a “Anything for you, master…”, while still looking intently at me.

“Thanks for that… I’ll be going now; I think…” I answered, before opening the door and stepping out of the car.

So… yeah. I had arrived at Mike’s house. It’s been a good while, a month or so and I already felt like I was in a strange place, for some reason.

I guess it’s because I’m not a very outgoing guy? I’m used to being in my house all the time besides school, so when I stopped coming it kind of… vanished from my mind.

Saying goodbye to Gary, then leaving his car, I started walking over to the door and ringing the bell.

“MOOOOOOM, I’M GOING!” I heard a deep voice yelled. Heavy steps later, Mike was standing in front of me after opening the door. “Hey there, bro!”

The big guy held his open hand out, waiting for me to ‘bro slap’ it. He (And probably his teammates too, I don’t think he’s the only one with this thing) have this weird thing of adding ‘bro’ before some actions and that supposedly makes them better/more fraternal.

I grabbed his hand and gave it a shake. That didn’t bother him though, he just moved aside and let me in.

“How are you doing?” I asked him. I didn’t intend to sound cold, at all. I’m just not good at making chit chat. It wasn’t a problem when we didn’t have a fight in between, but just like before, it felt pretty different now.

“Doing great! Was just heating up in my room, preparing the cartridges and etc. How was your studying?” Mike gave a step closer, and started examining me. Probably looking for bruises? It was the only thing I could think of, since he didn’t trust Gary at all.

He has his reasons though; he knows how much damage he can do. Still, kind of pointless to seem to worry without having ever stepped in to help.

“It was nice. Lots of maths and stuff” I shrugged. I wasn’t in a chatty mood, especially with him. I wasn’t going to break the ‘we’re not talking’ punishment because we were going to play. “Shall we… uh…” I started pointing up, waiting for him to catch that I wanted to be upstairs. I didn’t want to greet Mike’s parents; I don’t know if they’d be happy to see me after I cut ties with their son.

“Uh… yeah, sure! Dinner won’t be ready until an hour or so later, so we have lotsa time to play!” Mike was clearly excited, and I felt a bit bad to act like a party pooper around him.

He moved aside and closed the door once I was in. Then we made our way up to his room, while I silently hoped his parents wouldn’t pop up randomly from a corner or something.

“I think dad is making ravioli. I know you liked those, so you can stay over if you’d like and I can walk you home afterwards…” No sleeping over, I guess he had a part of his feet down to earth.

“I don’t know, mom’s also expecting me for dinner, so I may have to call first to check”

“Good ol’ Piney, always playing by the rules, right?” He chuckled, giving me a rough pat on the back. The chuckle quickly vanished as he mumbled a ‘Sorry’. Ignoring that, we made our way to his room and he closed the door there too.

Just a little head up: Mike LOVES football.

His room had a good amount of his favorite team’s posters. A football helmet was on the floor, next to its ball. The jock’s varsity jacket was neatly held on the desk chair’s back. No trophies though, because he plays mostly high school football or with the nicer teammates at the park, so no trophies for the big guy, yet.

But it wasn’t just filled with jock stuff, because Mikey here has a little secret side. He’s a big nerd too.

His desk had all his Switch games stacked up in random angles, which did make me a bit nervous. His console was settled next to his bed, while the dock was connected to a small flat screen hanging from the wall. Little action figures were displayed on a shelf, and unlike some would think, he never hid them.

He actually had a nice system that he liked to geek about too, like it was the smartest thing in the world. Most jocks (I assume) would hide those kinds of things if they had visits or something. That’s not the case for Mikey. He didn’t need to hide anything because he ‘wasn’t having anyone over’.

That way, he can keep a healthy sexual life while not having to worry about his nerdy side being discovered, and mocked by his teammates.

Oh hey, I could show his teammates that Mike’s a big nerd! Oh wait no, that would be really mean. The idea’s tempting, though.

Grabbing a controller, and passing me the other one, the game was on. He sat on his bed and patted a spot beside him, but I sat on the desk chair. It was actually pretty uncomfortable because it didn’t have any pillow or anything like that, so my ass was on the wood. That’s what I get for being a meanie.

“Gonna pick Link, don’t try to cheese it with the pink puffball, a’ight?” He said, chuckling at his own comment. I remained with a stoic face at all times, which he didn’t find as funny.

“Let’s just get on with it…” I had chosen the random character, because each minute here made me rethink why I actually accepted coming to Mike’s place. I didn’t want to mind control him, he was like a big brother to me! A big, asshole-ish big brother that tells all the stuff you tell him to everyone else!

Okay, being serious for a moment, it would have been really weird. I did enjoy looking at his body the few times he got shirtless in front of me, but I would never lust after him.

[Present|Pine: Oooh, that didn’t age well…]

We played for some good twenty minutes. It was pretty fought over, sometimes he would win, sometimes I would win. I was focusing on the game mostly to ignore his chit chat. Because Mikey was trying to make chatter with me and I would just answer a ‘Hmm…’ or a ‘Wow, yup’ or the always nice ‘Sure thing’.

He, of course, wasn’t happy with my vague answers. And the evening was turning even more silent the more I tried to ignore him.

“Okay, we gotta take a pause. I actually invited you for something else, bro.” ‘Let it be snacks, let it be snacks, let it be snacks…’ “Look, I’m… I’m really sorry about what I did. Outing you with my teammates, I mean. It really wasn’t intentional”

I would have really hoped if he brought out a can of potato chips, because that would have led to a prettier conversation than this one.

 “I never wanted for them to bully you like that… or like, in any way. You’re my best friend, and I know that I should have stood up for you a lot sooner and I’m really sorry for that too…” He continued apologizing, like hoping that it would make me more at ease, or something.

I let out a sigh, and tried to remain as calm as possible. “I still don’t get why you had to tell them about my secret, when I told you specifically to not say anything about it to anyone else. And you agreed to that. So, what was crossing your mind when you said ‘Fuck it! I’m going to tell everyone!’?”

It may have come off a bit more aggressive than what I intended.

But he didn’t have an answer. And if Mikey himself doesn’t have an answer, then who should I ask?

“Look, bro. I don’t know what you want me to do. I-I already said I’m sorry! I don’t fucking know what to do! I just want my best friend back!” Now he was being sort of aggressive too, which was good! It basically gave me permission to be aggressive too!

“You know how I stopped using the school’s bathroom, just in case I got cornered in there?! I got shoved to lockers almost every freaking day!”

“What the hell do you want me to do?! Stand up for you? I will! I will beat the crap out of anyone who tries to touch you from now on! Is that what you’d like?!”

“Well, you could have just shut your mouth and I wouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with, dumbass!” I didn’t want him to stand up for me now, I could defend myself very well now!

“What did you call me?!”

“Oh, nonono. You don’t get to feel offended! In fact, you are really a dumbass for outing me right after I told you about my stuff. You really are just a dumb jock, like the others are!” I shouted at him, and I felt like I might have fucked up a little.

By shouting like that I may have alerted his parents or something, so I started grabbing my stuff, determined to leave the room.

I noticed Michael didn’t have an answer, but I just couldn’t bear to look at him. This guy wasn’t my best friend. He’s like those persons you grow up with and end up drifting away due to stupid stuff.

But I didn’t think this was one of those ‘stupid stuff’. He outed me to his teammates, the very same day I told him about it. How bad can you be at keeping a secret?!

I went for the door and left the room, quickly making my way downstairs and through the front door. Mike apparently just noticed what happened, because before I crossed the street to start making my way home, I heard a very loud “Bro?!” coming from the upper floor of the house. It sounded… deep, and kind of weird, but I didn’t give it much thought at the time.

I just wanted to get home and be done with it. It didn’t even cross my mind at the time that my mind control might have done something to him, but I did go over our argument a couple times during that night.

My words could very well have come off as orders, which caused a series of side effects that I would see the consequences of later. But for now, I remember feeling very sad, and just wishing for that pseudo-awful day to be over.

-------

Present Pine’s POV

I slowly closed the laptop, and put it away again. I felt like I could tear up, and I had almost forgotten about that one bit. I was rethinking the whole ‘I should write down my memories’ thing. My memories aren’t that happy and I would have preferred to forget about that one fight with Mike.

“Hey, you okay?” The big guy noticed something was wrong, but I did my best to shrug it off.

“Just… got caught in the story’s mood. Like a ‘feels bad, man’ moment, or something” I didn’t want to worry him. Mike tends to get emotional with… ‘the past’, and I’m okay with letting things go, especially if they happened years ago.

You can’t get mad for a long time when you’re a mind controller, it might cloud your judgement and do something you regret. And I just revived a prime example…

“Sorry… I didn’t want you to feel bad… We can resume any other time,” Mikey stated, moving closer to me and kissing my cheek a lot of times. “And hey, my arm is feeling way better lately. Once I get this stupid cast off, I’ll carry you to our bed ASAP” He finished, with a nice smile.

“Well, I’ll make sure of that in a few weeks. Already made a to-do list for you once you get the cast off.” I appreciated his attempt to cheer me up. I wasn’t really mad, just felt like a cold water bucket fell on me. It wasn’t serious though, it’s just like when you randomly get a bad thought. You just try your best and hope it goes away.

“Really? Like what?” He asked, looking more excited now. I noticed his cock was getting harder by the minute.

“Y’know, move a few things around the place. Clean around. Work out like crazy…”

“I’m only happy to hear one of three things in that list. I was hoping for something… uh… together?” He gave his big bud a thug, without taking his eyes off me. It was clear who was the romantic guy of the pair, of course.

I leaned in and whispered, putting some power in my words (God, reading how I wasn’t able to do that before is kind of painful, too!). “Take care of that big guy. I’ll go finish a few things around here.”

Mike’s eyes glazed over, as a big dumb smile took over his face. “Yeah… master…” He looked straight ahead now, slowly stroking his cock but quickly picking up the pace.

Hey, I don’t plan on letting him cum without my help. Going to rush the cleaning around and check my emails to go back with my big jock!

------

Author’s note:

Looooooooong chapter!

I like Brent. Military guys are another of my favorite stereotypes, but the jocks usually get more love! The dog tags look awesome, the obedience they display, the camo clothes are quite neat. And the few ones I’ve met so far are really nice!

I was thinking about splitting this chapter in two parts. I did so with chapter 5 in Patreon, to improve the reading quality and avoid having it like a wall of text (I feel like I got carried away with this and the next chapter, and they’re both over 9K words). 

But ultimately decided to leave it like this. May be a wall of text, but it’s probably better than having you guys searching for the second part.

Okay, that’s all I had in mind for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, and thanks for reading <3.

[obaby-me]

Your Type

Beelzebub x Reader

He never even had a chance.

Author’s Note:  I love me some pining.  But also, I love me a happy ending.  The quiz that is mentioned in this story can be found here:  https://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/whats-your-actual-type

If there’s anyone who knows anything about attraction, it’s Beelzebub’s older brother, Asmodeus.  He’s a natural matchmaker, known to fix up his brothers with dates and hook ups that have always returned rave reviews.  So, when Asmo says he can find you the perfect date for Diavolo’s latest inspired event—a homecoming dance—Beel knows that without question, he will.

“First, we need to know your type,” Asmo tells you as he lays out on the living room couch, his legs over laying over top of yours as you sit upright with the latest reading assignment laying forgotten in your open palms.

“I don’t think this is really necessary,” you tell him with a small laugh.

“Oh, but it is!  I want you to have the most enjoyable time possible!  And as much as I’d love to be the one on your arm, I already made a promise to Solomon to accompany him instead.”  Asmo says with a regretful sigh.  “He was going to go stag, can you believe it?  I couldn’t let him!”

“I don’t think there’s really anything wrong attending an event without a date,” you say thoughtfully. “I’ve certainly done so before.”

“You what!”  Asmo gasps.

“Well, sometimes no one asks.  But I still want to meet up with some of my friends that will be attending, so I went on my own,” you said with a small shrug.

“Well, you didn’t have me then, and you do now.  I’m going to find you a perfect date!”  Asmo declares confidently.  “Now, type if you please.”  He says with a snap of his fingers, demanding an answer.

“I don’t have one,” you tell him, turning a page on your book in an attempt to return to studying.

“Oh, yes you do! Everyone has a type!  Some just more loosely defined than others,” Asmo says with a hand wave.  “Take Beel for example, he loves someone who can cook and share recipes with him, or someone athletic to swap workout regimens with!”  Asmo says as he waves a hand to Beel who sits at your feet, back against the couch.  “And he’s a sucker for a tight ass,” he adds with a grin.  “Oh, the shorter the better too!  He’s got such a kink for-“  Asmo begins.

Beel chokes against the chips he’d been pouring from the bag into his mouth, trying to catch the last remnants that remained in the bag.  Though not intended, it was the perfect interruption.  A heat blooms on his face as Asmo calls him out on his preferences, and he’s glad you can’t see his face while he’s sitting at your feet, his back against the couch.

Asmo’s right, of course. He does like those things, and he’s been quite happy with the partners Asmo’s previously selected for him when he’s been required to attend other Diavolo events that demand a date.

“Well, if I have a type, I certainly don’t know it,” you say quickly, and Beel silently thanks you for help him save face.

“Well, I have just the thing for that!”  Asmo says with delight.  He swings his legs over you and over Beel’s head as he stands and quickly leaves to fetch whatever “the thing” is.

There’s a silence that envelops in the room and he can hear you turn a page in your book, indicating that you’ve returned to your studying.  “J-just so you know,” Beel begins, “I-I like other things too.”  But he can’t quite grasp all the words he wants to say.

He likes your hair, its style and its color.

He likes your eyes, especially when they light up with delight.

He likes the way you smile and how you sound when you laugh.

He likes how you feel in his arms on the rare occasions when he gets to hold you.

He likes the way you spend your time at his side; when he eats, when he works out, when he studies, when he simply lays about with his brother Belphie.

He likes you.

And he’d like to go to the dance with you.

But there’s hardly any time for him to translate his feelings into any proper sentence before Asmo returns, waving a magazine in his hand.  He plants himself beside you, cuddled into your side, head leaning on your shoulder as he flips through the pages quickly.

“You can’t be serious,” you tell him with a laugh.

“It’s just the start,” Asmo says with a wave of his hand.  “It’s the first read on the general direction I should be going in, and then I consider other things too!  Like your interests, and your hard limits, y’know, the basics.”

“Asmo, this date is not going to end with me needing to express any hard limits,” you warn.

“Maybe,” Asmo says with a playful wink, “but what if it becomes something more?  What if you hit it off so well, it becomes two dates, then three!”

Beel can feel his brows furrow and his heart feels tight at the very thought.

“Three dates will also not end with me expressing any hard limits,” you say with a laugh.  “But I understand what you mean.  I’m still not sharing that with you.”

Asmo bites his lip and raises his brows, whispering into your ear gently, “oh, but I do hope someday you will, in one way or another.”  Just as quickly as he turns on his flirting, he’s quick to return his attentions to the magazine in his hands.  “Anyway, other than the obvious me, let’s get back to finding your type!”

Beel can’t help but take a glance at your face, it’s slightly red but you seem to be laughing Asmo’s suggestion as a mere joke.  He wishes he was just as smooth.  He wishes he could make your cheeks heat up into that pretty shade.

Quickly he turns back to his textbook, as if he wasn’t hanging on to every word.

“First question!  What feature do you fine most attractive?  Full lips, sexy eyes, luscious hair, well maintained eyebrows, clear skin, or a bright smile?”  Asmo reads.

“Those are the choices?” You ask, finding the options rather ridiculous.  “Bright smile.”

“Well, what choice would you choose if it’s not listed here?”  Asmo asks curiously.

“No, bright smile is a good one.”  You say with a bright smile of your own.  Beel can’t help but wonder if you would think the same of his.  Certainly his are white, but when he looks at you, he knows that’s not why he considers yours so blindingly wonderful.

“If you were visit any of these mountainous regions, where would you like to visit?  The craggy mountains, the witch’s eye, the-“

“You can stop right there on that one,” you say holding a hand up, “I don’t know any of those places.”

“Fine, fine.  That one’s pretty unimportant anyway.  Now!  Describe your personality with one word!  Fun, social, deep, reserved, nice, bookish?”

“Nice,” Beel answers for you.

“I’d agree!”  Asmo says with a nod.  “I didn’t think you were interested, Beel.”  Asmo mocks.

Beel doesn’t bother to respond and only holds his textbook up a little higher.

“I don’t think I’m especially nice,” you mutter, though you are flattered.

“What’s an ideal food for you to have on a date?  Sushi, tacos, steak, fon-“

“Steak.  I know that one, steak.”  You say cutting him off with a grin.  Asmo gives a laugh but marks it down on to sheet.  Beel can’t help but grin.  He’ll be keeping that in mind on your next outing to a restaurant with him and Belphie.

“Which personality trait is a total turn off?  Dishonesty, selfishness, vanity, cockiness, terrible manners, aloofness?”

For awhile you are silent, mulling over the question.  “Dishonesty,” you say slowly.  “Being lied to hurts the most.”

Beel can sympathize with that, recalling how his eldest brother Lucifer had lied to him about Belphie’s disappearance for so long.  And Lilith, the truth about Lilith hurt him the most.  He understands this better than anyone.  And so do you.  It’s a comfort him to know.

“And finally, what’s better to have in a relationship, a lot of good food, or a lot of good sex?” Asmo asks with a grin.

Beel holds a breath, his fingers suddenly crossing as he holds the textbook tight.  Food, he hopes, food.  If there’s anything more Beel-like in an answer, it’s this one.

You laugh wildly at the question.  “Are those really the two options?”  You manage between bouts of laughter.  Asmo’s eyebrows flit up and down suggestively.

“Come now, answer the question!”

“Sex, then.”  You say as you wipe tears from your eyes.

Beel can feel his heart drop into his stomach.  But one question doesn’t mean anything, right?  He fits some of the other criteria—probably.  He still has a chance.

“Well, well, I’ll be keeping that in mind!”  Asmo grins. “And that certainly knocks Beel out of the running,” Asmo teases as he turns to prod his younger brother with his foot.

And Beel doesn’t dare to turn to look at Asmo, or you, the joke hitting him where it hurts the most.  But Beel doesn’t think Asmo knows it.  He can’t bring himself to be angry at him.

“Let’s see, results here say that what you like is the Creative Type!  Expansive mind, expressive, with knowledge of the arts. Brains and creativity are your ultimate turn on.”  Asmo reads out, skimming the results.  If anyone, it sounds like Satan,” Asmo says with a laugh.

Beel can’t help the way his fingers suddenly grip the book so tightly that he feels the hard cover bend and indent with the force of his grip.  The idea of Satan taking you to the dance makes his stomach turn upside down. And his nerves feel like fire.

“Mm,” you hum, non-committal.  “Maybe,” you sound unconvinced—but the fact that you’re considering at all makes him feel like he’s dropped a dumbbell over his chest.  It was as if you’d rejected him without him having ever gotten the chance to ask.

Unable to bear being in the room any longer, Beel mutters, “I’m hungry.”  He shuts his book (as best as it can be considering how he’s unintentionally maimed it).

“I could use a break too,” you say, closing your own book, and standing up.  “I think that’s enough for me,” you tell Asmo who looks dejectedly at you.

“Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to follow up with the better questions yet!”

“Later,” you promise him, which seems to light him up.

“Not too much later, dear! I’ll need the time to find you your date after all!”  He chides.

You smile and wave but don’t otherwise answer him and follow after Beel, whose plan to get away from you has since failed.

Opening the fridge, he pulls out the many containers which have his name scrawled on sticky notes. Sometimes two or three for one container—for good measure.

“What’re you having today?” you ask him with interest as you peer into the clear glass cases.

But Beel’s not really sure to be quite honest.  He’s just pulling everything he can.

“Beel?” You call out to him.

“Hm?”  He responds, not once turning to you.

“Beel, are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a silence as Beel takes the various containers to the multiple microwaves to the end of the long counter on the opposite end of you, the whir of the three machines taking up the room.

“I like other things too,” you echo to him his words from earlier.  It seems you had guessed the reason for his somber mood.

“Yeah?”  He asks a small dash of hope lingering in his voice, though he still didn’t dare look at you.  He could feel himself flush.

“I like you,” you whisper quietly from across the room.

His breath catches in his throat and his heart rate spikes as if he’s run 5 miles.  He heard you correctly, right?  Right?

He gulps audibly, pausing as he attempts to calm himself.  “Yeah?” he asks as he gives you a sideway glance.  However, now it seems that you’re the one who can’t seem to look at him. But the red tips of your ears give him all he needs to know.

“Yeah,” you answer back, your voice quiet but resolved.

He’s not sure he’s ever smiled so wide before—his cheeks actually hurt.  But he doesn’t mind.

“D-do you have anyone you’re going with to the—”

“No.”  He says quickly, turning to face you fully.

There’s a loud screech signaling that his food is finally ready and waiting for him.  But his appetite has since dissipated—his stomach too full of butterflies to take anything else in.  He ignores them in favor of striding towards you.

“Do you maybe want to—” you ask as you hear his footsteps approaching.  You turn to look at him, looking apprehensive.

“Yes.”  He says, with a happy nod.

“Like, as a real date,” you clarify quickly.

“Yes.”  He confirms, his hand reaching towards you to stroke your cheek.  “I’d like that more than anything.”  A screech of the microwave reminding him of his meal perfectly attesting to it.

You smile as you lean into his hand, your hands cupping his so gently.

Guess he had a chance after all.

[popculturebuffet]

Spongebob: Rock a Bye Bivalve Review (Patreon review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and happy pride! And for my friend Emma’s patreon review, you can get your own right here by pledging 5 bucks or more, guaranteed every month WITH a bonus one time review on signup, this month she went with a classic.

This is also my first time covering spongebob on the blog and it’s a series I have a fond connection to, having grown up with it as a kid , even having voted in the poll to pick an ending for Shanghied! , and seen it PLENTY years later when my niece, one of my nephews and my nibling all grew up on it. While the series did hit a rough patch, it’s first few seasons are great and unlike family guy which I suffered through two episdoes of (and enjoyed one) last week, it rebounded eventually, I just haven’t gotten around to it. Still don’t think the show needs 80 dozen spinoffs when you have shows just asking for revivial or spinoffs stinking in your vault, but Nick has never been a company that made rational or likeable desicions, why start now? 

So I’m happy to  cover the series even if this review will likely be short. 

For those who haven’t seen the episode, and if not i’ts on paramount+ with the rest of the series and I HIGHLY recommend it, rock a bye byvale is a season 3 episode, the show’s best season in my eyes. The episode follows Spongebob and Patrick as they find a baby scallop in the wild, adopt it and quickly take on the roles of mom and dad. That really is the episode in a nutshell: Spongebob and Patrick adopt a child and play house with it, and it’s as caked with subtext as it sounds. Thi sis the same series that faked us out with the idea patrick LICKED spongebob once so they clearly knew what they were doing. 

And while the episode has aged a little, the idea that a kid needs  amale and a femlae was outdated evne at the time as was the sterotype in a same sex relationship that one’s the “woman, it still largely works: I feel any implications are just accidental, which dosen’t make them entirely okay, but it’s clear it’s all in good fun instead of actually harping gay people and the real lintention is more two big oversized kids playing house, and thus feeling it needs a mom and a dad since that’s what they knew. Hell patrick even is eager to be a mom too and only dose’nt because “This would be kinda shocking”. Their not enforcing gender roles out of any malice, but because it’s what these two idiots know and it lightly decontructs it by having Spongebob be overworked, doing basically all the work. .while Patrick goofs off all day. It’s clearly just there to be silly fun and mlik Spongebob and Patrick having HEAVY ho yay between each other for all ti’s worth. Seriously they knew people shipped them even this early.. and I can’t say I blame them. Though what his sexuality is.. is an engima. Seriously nick trotted him out for pride with other queer characters a few years back and it still baffles me. He dated a krabby patty so he’s probably pansexual since she was a female crabby patty, or maybe bi like me, but otherwise it’s never been clear and it feels weird putting him out there just because the gay community took him in. If your going to make him some form of LBGTQ+ then fine, but don’t take credit for something you haven’t done.  

The jokes here are all classics and while it’s likely because i’ve seen this episode a LOT across two generations, they still hold up, and from minute one with Spongebob playin gwith a box and of course Patrick’s response to a baby being “I’LL TAKE CARE OF THIS” and almost ending the episode right there. Pitch perfect black comedy. There’s tones of all time’s classic “Uhhhhhhh”, “OVERTIME!” “A donut?”, and the ending is just pure greatness. It’s a perfectly paced episode that jumps around enough you don’t get bored but stays well focused. Again I don’t relaly have a ton to say here, it’s really hliarious, expertly timed and still holds up decently despite the age spots. It’s a good classic spogebob episode and I highly recommend it. Thanks for reading. 

[itcamefromthetoybox]

Yet Another Bumblebee

My apologies for the delay in this review. I just started a new job this previous week and spent the weekend with my family and catching up on housework. Between all that and my own terrible health, I’ve been exhausted.

Fun fact that’s only fun if you’re not trying to buy any Transformer other than Bumblebee: Bumblebee has the most toys and is the easiest to find Transformer of them all. Since he’s so beloved by kids and is the face of the franchise, Hasbro turns out dozens of figures of Bumblebee for every toyline they do, because they both want money and are terrified of losing the rights to the name again, which is why Bumblebee didn’t have any toys for a period of time going from the 90’s until the first live-action movie. So if you want a Bumblebee toy, this is now a golden age for you, aside from the deadly pandemic. If you want a toy of literally anyone else, too bad, because Bumblebee is probably clogging the shelves. Anyways, that brings us to the latest Bumblebee toy, “Studio Series Revenge of The Fallen Bumblebee.”

As anyone who paid attention to popular culture knows, there have been a bunch of live-action Transformers movies, each with toylines that had varying degrees of movie-accuracy and different gimmicks, though the fourth movie onward dropped the gimmicks for the main toyline. The Studio Series toys are Hasbro’s attempt to make Transformers figures as accurate to the screen as possible without going for hundreds of dollars. Based on our introductory paragraph and the fact he’s been in every movie, it shouldn’t shock anyone that Bumblebee has gotten a lot of figures in this line. In fact, this is his 15th figure in the Studio series line, if you count exclusives, and they’ve already unveiled the 16th figure.

Finally, your very own Sam figure to mysteriously lose between movies 3 and 4 with no explanation!

The In terms of looks, Bumblebee does look fantastic. His car mode looks like a Camera and his robot mode looks like it stepped off the screen. For this release, Bumblebee has on raw battle mask he wears occasionally in the films, to make sure collectors don’t say, “I already have a figure that looks just like this,” and pass it up. Basically, though, if you picture Movie Bumblebee, you already know what this figure looks like even if none of the pictures for this review loaded.

In vehicle mode, Bumblebee’s a very nice-looking car and is able to roll smoothly. Honestly, I only have one complaint, and it’s something easily fixed. Bumblebee’s robot mode gun stores on the back of his vehicle mode via two tabs and is blatantly obvious, taking the “disguise” out of “robot in disguise.” Like I said, though, that is easily fixed. Just don’t attach it, and you have a great car.

Pictured: the reason every single jackass with a yellow car insists on racing stripes these days.

The robot mode is also great. Bumblebee is one of the smaller toys in this line, since Hasbro is trying to keep everyone in scale with each other, and is loaded with articulation. Almost every part of him’s posable, from his chest to his shin armor. He holds his gun perfectly, and the gun’s made to give the appearance that Bumblebee’s arm transformed into a weapon, much like it does in the movies. I really don’t have any issue here.

Literally the best character Michael Bay ever had.

Transforming Bumblebee is where I had an issue. He takes a lot of fiddling to shift from car to robot and back, and that could be frustrating for some kids. Older kids and adult collectors may not find that frustrating, but keep in mind that transforming Bumblebee into a car can be a pain in the ass. Every single part has to be lined up perfectly to transform him, otherwise, parts of his car mode will pop out. It’s definitely a sign this figure’s meant for collectors.

If you give this to a child, they will break it within 10 minutes and then not stop screaming.

Bumblebee comes with a little figure of a running Sam Witwicky, his human friend in the first three movies, played by Shia LaBeouf. The figure is there. It does not interact with Bumblebee at all. He has no articulation and his face is not detailed. He has no eyes, yet he must see. He has no mouth, yet he must scream.

Shia LaBouf is: THE RUNNING MAN!

All in all, this toy, like the rest of the Studio Series line, is for older kids and collectors. I would absolutely not get this for a younger kid, but would for someone older. He goes for about $20, but keep in mind that he is smaller than other figures in the line at the same price. It’s for a good reason, but that $20 price tag always makes me feel iffy about smaller figures. Anyways, this is JL signing off and wishing you happy toy hunting!