#ough.... auughhhhh... im losing it a lil
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#so like i have one girl i was friends with at a very young age that was a little weird and i was Very Normal about#and permanently changed me as a person#but i am remembering now the other two girls i had close friendships with at the time that i was also Very Normal about#and idk . it's just weird to think about!#one of them i remember thinking so highly of and thinking she was so nice and pretty and smart#and we called each other on our landlines all the time but i was just always so awkward and quiet#and my mom put it in my head that i wasn't pulling my weight in the friendship and wasn't good enough for her#and it made me pull away because i was scared#and the other girl went to a different school so ppl always made fun of me for talking about her#ough.... auughhhhh... im losing it a lil#being 20 is so bad for my health <3#of course i do not talk to any of them now. which is typical i guess. like how many ppl maintain friendships from childhood into their 20s?#but it still makes my heart hurt. idk! i was trying to reconnect w the second girl in hs. we did some stuff together the summer after grad.#and i knew the third girl became close friends with my best friend's sister and i knew we kept similar interests#im just sad and lonely. but i have a whole different thing going on with like. struggling to form relationships rn#they speak!
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