#p: jeyne theon

[harlothane]

Theon + Survival Horror (2/?)

[esther-dot]

Pride & Prejudice AUs

You Look Like A Movie, You Sound Like A Song 2k @jonsastan

She had met Jon Targaryen there. It was a complete accident and at first, Sansa thought, a complete misfortune. He was drenched from an impromptu swim in his pond, and she was flustered, not wanting him to think she was vying for his attention. But as she had attempted to make her hurried escape, he had found her and invited her parents to stroll with him around the gardens. He had offered her kindness, and thoughtfulness, he had talked with her parents, discussed the present state of politics with her father and chatted knowledgeably about gardens with her mother.

A Certain Step Toward Falling in Love 2k by @comma-splice

Jon Snow returns North after departing abruptly one year ago.

The Bennet Sisters - a P&P AU comic by @melinaillustrations

P&P Gifset by @sardoniyx, P&P Gifset by @dcbicki, P&P Gifset by deactivated

Persuasion AUs

Who Loves Longest, Who loves Best 1k by @ladysaruka

After refusing him years ago, Sansa sees her cousin once again.

Persuasion edits one, two , three by @glueck

Mansfield Park AUs

Half Agony, Half Hope 10k, incomplete by @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth

After the death of his disgraced mother, Jon Snow is taken in by his uncle's family, the Starks of Winterfell. He grows up alongside his cousins, including the beautiful and kind-hearted Sansa, but knowing he can never truly be their equal, he fears he has little choice but to leave the place he's come to call home. corresponding moodboard

Catch Me If You Can 34k (P&P and Emma inspired too) by @ben-barnes-is-my-husband

Set in the countryside of Regency England, Jon Snow has been in love with Sansa Stark for as long as he can remember. He wants her as his wife, but Sansa is not sure she wants to be a wife at all, and she knows she doesn’t want to marry the pragmatic and boring Jon. She’d rather help Theon Greyjoy come out of his shell and play matchmaker. But then Jaime Lannister comes to town and Jon finds he has some serious competition for Sansa…

Moments Like This (So Few and Far Between) 3k by @lydiamartenism

Mama and Papa left the house to go pick up Jon, the son of her father’s oldest friend. Three weeks ago, the phone rang and their parent’s announced that Jon would be coming to live with them since his mother passed away and had no one else to take care of him.

Northanger Abbey AUs

The Lady in White 7k by @kissed-by-circe

Dragonstone Manor had looked like it had woken only a few days earlier, after a slumber of several years, if not decades, and Sansa had felt like the heroine of a gothic novel, a mysterious, naive girl with a dark past or a dark secret, arriving at the opening scene of the most dramatic story of all times. Or Sansa as Katherine Morland in a Jane Eyre Setting.

Sense & Sensibility AUs

In Such Jocund Company 2k @maybetwice

It would be no matter at all for Captain Snow to return to the north after seven months’ absence, had Sansa’s heart not changed entirely in that time. A remix of Colonel Brandon and Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility.

Emma & Clueless AUs

if i loved you less 2k by @ladystarks

Her father has, often and fondly, told Sansa that she and Mr. Snow bite at each other like wolves, but he hardly understood that their verbal sparring was as exhilarating as a sport well done, or a match coming together under Sansa’s skilled hands. corresponding artwork

Sansa: A NOVEL in Five Parts 15k by @imagineagreatadventure

Sansa Stark, handsome, clever, rich, hopes to establish herself as her town's foremost matchmaker. After seeing her governess Miss Shae married to the rich and clever Mr. Tyrion Lannister, she feels as though she deserves that title. Her dear friend and cousin, Jon Targaryen, heartily disagrees and is quite proven right when Sansa sets her sights on marrying off her newest and dearest friend Jeyne Poole to the vicar Mr. Baelish.

A Baldwin and a Betty 2k

Jon drives to the Valley to give Sansa a ride home.

Emma AU art by @dcvahkiin and Clueless art by wolvesofspring

Emma Gifset by @dcbicki

General Regency AUs

No Notion of Loving by Halves 2k @darkmagyk

The Stark cousin, Jon, goes home to discuss matters concerning the entail on Winterfell. In which Jon is a really good guy, and I flagrantly disregard how entails actually work.

Manners and Misunderstandings 114k, WIP by @x-winging-it

The Stark sisters have travelled all the way to London to begin their first season, leaving behind the familiar world of Winterfell Hall and a disappointed Jon Stark- with whom the eldest Miss Stark has been convinced to break off a connection. In London they join family friends the Baratheons and the fashionable young Tyrells in a world of romance and balls. Meanwhile Gendry Waters has been plucked out of the life he knew to become his ailing father's heir, Robb, Theon and later Rickon embark on military careers in the Napoleonic wars, and their aunt Lysa makes a foolish marriage. When tragedy hits the family, they must come together, learning how manners may hide monsters and the best people are often those misunderstood by society.

You Could Draw Me to the Gallows 2k by @azulaahai

After having eloped from home with and subsequently been abandoned by wealthy heir Joffrey Baratheon, Sansa Stark refuses to come home. Having caused a scandal that is sure to prevent her from ever marrying, she is adamant not to bring further shame to the family name by returning to Winterfell. Until, that is, a visitor comes to her - Jon Snow, an old family friend, determined to bring Sansa with him back north. He has a solution to offer her - a proposal with the potential to change both of their lives.

A Perilous Dance Indeed & fiercely, tenderly and eternally 27k by @amymel86

He should either look away or interrupt this improper little meeting, he knows. For some unfathomable reason, he does neither. The two look far too intimate for Jon’s liking, although he feels he should have come to expect it to be so. A romantic like Sansa – however proper she is – would simply adore overt flirtations and a secret tête-à-tête. Even from where he stands, Jon can see the way in which she has stars set in her eyes like precious cut stones. He only hopes the man for whom they shine is deserving of it. *** Cousin Jon is to inherit Winterfell Manor and its estate after the untimely death of his uncle leaves a widow and two daughters. Sansa is expectant of an imminent proposal from her dear beau, Harrold Hardyng and everything will be absolutely, stunningly, utterly fine.

Waiting for Your Slippered Feet 49k by @wintry-ritu

Lady Sansa Stark has always looked forward to her come-out season in London, the balls, the rides in Hyde Park, evenings at Vauxhall, the romance and wonder of it all. Never had she imagined that it would happen like this, with her parents gone and her younger siblings underfoot. Now, all Sansa wants is for it all to be over quickly so she can get back to Winterfell. She needs a kind, amiable man who will be brave enough to take on his wife's siblings. That should not be so hard to find in London, should it? And while she is most grateful for Jon Targaryen's help, why must her cousin be so distracting?

To Make You Love Me 16k incomplete and orphaned

When Ned Stark dies, he leaves behind his wife, two daughters, and his family’s estate at Winterfell. What follows is a series of unwanted marriage proposals, houseguests who far outstay their welcome, and Arya parading around in a comically large hat and an oil-paint mustache as she declares herself the new ‘Lord of Winterfell,’ in an attempt to dissuade her sister’s suitors. However, when Mr. Jon Snow — their distant cousin and Ned’s appointed heir to the estate — comes to call, an oil-paint mustache is hardly enough to deter him from courting Miss Sansa Stark. And she thinks, perhaps, that a man could marry her for love more than her claim, after all.

Mine for a Season 101k by @vivilove-jonsa

Colonel Jon Targaryen is a single man in possession of a good fortune who claims no interest in finding himself a wife. With his war wounds, he thinks no young lady would want him anyway for anything beyond the allure of his pocketbook. Fortunately and unbeknownst to him, Fate has chosen to find a wife for him and will even deliver her right to his doorstep. Taking on the responsibility of shepherding a young lady about for a Season in London is not at all what Jon had wished to do but he had accepted out of a sense of familial duty. However, once he meets Sansa again after only having met her years ago as a child, he may not consider it a duty so much as a torment.

a lady of winterfell 185k, WIP by @wandering-scavenger

She bit her lip and exhaled shakily, “If you are so sickened by the prospect of marrying me, we should be able to obtain an annulment easily enough with your father’s connections.” “I will do no such thing.” he snapped, refusing to look at her. Sansa had never felt more rejected than she did at that moment. Her past experiences of being humiliated at the hand of Joffrey did not feel as painful as this. Even so, she could not allow him to see the weakness in her, not now. “I will not be left out, Jon.” she said, tilting her chin up to look down at him. He grimaced. They were silent for longer than she cared to count, but each second that he did not speak chipped away at her resolve and her ability to withhold her tears. Jon did not want her, and she could not blame him. Who could ever want her? It should not have distressed her as much as it did. She was never his favourite sister, she who treated him as a stranger since she was old enough to understand what a bastard was. A tear slipped down to her face until she tasted the salt of it on her lips. “If we marry, we will remain so.” corresponding gifset

moth's wings 47k by @cellsshapedlikestars

Sansa was determined to convince her aunt to let Arya debut, which is how she finds herself in her current predicament. “Who is this secret gentleman who has asked for your hand?” Aunt Lysa asks, and Sansa knows from her tone that she does not believe. (She has every right not to believe, for it is not true.) And then Sansa does something very, very foolish. She says a name. “The Duke of Dragonstone!” Or, Sansa fakes an engagement so that Arya can debut and marry the man she loves. The only problem? Her fake fiance just so happens to be in the city when he was not supposed to be.

An Understanding 2k, WIP by @thewolvescalledmehome

At the start of Sansa Stark's third London Season, she decides it will be her last. She will secure a husband by the end of the final ball. Jon Snow is new to the London Season and high society. He never expected to inherit money or property from an unknown uncle. When they meet at a ball, Sansa gets an idea.

you're in my blood like holy wine 72k

Sansa finds it difficult to look at Jon’s face, with its weathered lines and cragginess. It is the face of the North and a face that northerners trust; the face of Sansa’s brothers and her father, who had been loved and respected by their tenants as their forefathers had been when they were kings. How can Sansa feel anything but resentment, looking into that face and knowing that all of her years of hard work will never earn her the respect that that profile engenders within seconds? But she does. It is a small, burning coal of something that must be smothered.

PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALES - LITTLE WOMEN - HOLIDAY - SEASON 6 ANNE OF GREEN GABLES - THE GIRL IN GREY - FREE CITIES - FAIRYTALE PART II - POLITICAL MARRIAGE - SALTY TEENS - POST CANON

[queenvhagar]

"Catelyn knew how stubborn her son could be. 'A bastard cannot inherit.'

'Not unless he's legitimized by a royal decree,' said Robb. 'There is more precedent for that than for releasing a Sworn Brother from his oath.'

'Precedent,' she said bitterly. 'Yes, Aegon the Fourth legitimized all his bastards on his deathbed. And how much pain, grief, war and murder grew from that? I know you trust Jon. But can you trust his sons? Or their sons? The Blackfyre pretenders troubled the Targaryens for five generations, until Barristan the Bold slew the last of them in the Stepstones. If you make Jon legitimate, there is no way to turn him bastard again. Should he wed and breed, any sons you may have by Jeyne will never be safe.'

'Jon would never harm a son of mine.'

'No more than Theon Greyjoy would harm Bran or Rickon?'

Grey Wind leapt up atop King Tristifer's crypt, his teeth bared. Robb's own face was cold. 'That is as cruel as it is unfair. Jon is no Theon.'

'So you pray'" (Catelyn and Robb Stark, discussing the possibility of legitimizing Jon Snow, p. 629, A Storm of Swords).

This moment demonstrates a few things about the world of ASOIAF. First, despite Catelyn knowing Jon his whole life, she still expects the worst from him, largely due to the fact that he is a bastard. In this world, bastards are set apart from the rest. They are viewed as less than other trueborn people. Second, bastards can be legitimized by royal decree, and this is the only way a bastard can ever inherit. Third, a claimant to a seat of power, especially one with an insecure or atypical claim, may have to remove other claimants to secure their power, so if Jon or his children ever wanted the throne of Winterfell over Robb's line, they would have to take action to make sure none of Robb's blood could sit the throne.

So how does this inform us about the context of the Dance of the Dragons? First, it demonstrates the views that people have about the Strong boys and their mother. The very idea of Rhaenyra birthing bastards and trying to put them into lines of succession would have a negative effect on her politically. People would take issue with her and her sons having power. Second, the Strong boys could have been legitimized by royal decree, but they never were. They are still illegitimate in the eyes of the law and the people. Despite having a huge amount of political power and the backing of the king, their legitimization was never considered. Third, if Rhaenyra wanted to pursue her claim despite its rocky ground (due to her marrying Daemon, having three obvious bastards, killing Velaryons, being a woman, etc) she would have to get rid of all other claimants to secure her power, especially those with potentially stronger claims, meaning the king's sons and their sons would not have been safe. Rhaenyra and Daemon had already been willing to kill to secure their power in the past, and previously Rhaenyra asked for Aemond to be tortured to protect herself and her sons, so it is clear that someone on Team Black would take action to secure their own power.

[vivacissimx]

well anyway i don't see adwd!theon's time in winterfell as a reckoning to the tune of too late does this heedless villain see the error of his ways or any such narrative justice. personally i find it the most thematically interesting and, stay with me here, hopeful of theon's three "returns" i.e. his return to pyke, his acok return to winterfell, and finally the adwd return in question. this probably hinges on how of late i've grown more comfortable identifying winterfell as a decimated metropolis, yet a thriving necropolis—a place where the dead have been dead longer than the living have been living. without getting too much into that, i'll leave it with how siri hustvedt paraphrases lewis mumford: "people want to live close to the burial places of their ancestors, to whom they are drawn with mingled feelings of worship and dread, and that is how the city is born."

in acok, winterfell died when it was divested of starks (a symbolic death of winterfell as there are none left to inherit it) and burnt to the ground (a physical death). my point in all this is to say there is mutuality, a symbiosis that characterizes theon's third and final "return." he comes as reek, horrified to hell by ramsay and roose. theon's dehumanization has taken from him both a physical identity—his looks have changed so drastically that he is unrecognizable—and a metaphysical one—he is no longer afforded even the nominal identity of theon greyjoy. the reason i keep putting return in quotes, which i will now stop doing, is because obviously that's a myth. in reality, return occurs in the memory, and if memories contradict then returns cannot happen even there. theon cannot go back to a time prior to his torture. on pyke his family rejects him ("your blood and your heir." lord balon grunted. "we shall see."), in acok winterfell refuses any memory of him in lieu of classifying him as an invader (she gaped at him as if he were some stranger), and in adwd he remarks that winterfell is no longer "the castle he remembered from the summer of his youth." there are no homecomings.

however, a big thing that occurs in adwd is that we see both theon and winterfell being raised back to life. these two plots are connected or perhaps even the same. reek is forced to reclaim theon greyjoy in order to renew the stark claim via jeyne-as-arya. by doing this, by becoming theon, the stark return is recognized, and winterfell is revived. the proof is in the pudding: winterfell rapidly becomes a site of conflict thanks to it's value being restored. we see that jon is unwilling to renounce his vows in order to be named lord stark until the situation with ramsay and jeyne-as-arya comes to a head. elsewhere in the north, it's suddenly time to dust off those banners and rescue valiant ned's precious little girl. wyman manderly makes his way to winterfell only after sending davos on a quest to retrieve rickon stark. in each case, it requires a living stark to make winterfell any sort of prize.

back to theon. thanks to a nifty sidequest with barbrey, theon is also the one to find the entryway to the crypts, which represents a limb of sorts to the structure of winterfell. he is the one the heart tree speaks to. two bodies destroyed yet they know one another / know each other's names. what does the beating heart of winterfell say to him? "theon." what does he say back? "the old gods... know me." okay. self-recognition through the other. love it. love it so much in the face of that whole spiel tyrion once gave:

Tyrion had only the vaguest memory of Theon Greyjoy from his time with the Starks. A callow youth, always smiling, skilled with a bow; it was hard to imagine him as Lord of Winterfell. The Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark.

He remembered their godswood; the tall sentinels armored in their grey-green needles, the great oaks, the hawthorn and ash and soldier pines, and at the center the heart tree standing like some pale giant frozen in time. He could almost smell the place, earthy and brooding, the smell of centuries, and he remembered how dark the wood had been even by day. That wood was Winterfell. It was the north. I never felt so out of place as I did when I walked there, so much an unwelcome intruder. He wondered if the Greyjoys would feel it too. The castle might well be theirs, but never that godswood.

so yes. i am contextualizing theon's final return as a rebirth, actually. worship and dread.

[myrxellabaratheon]

The Hazbin Hotel ASOIAF crossover nobody asked for

But since Huskerdust is very Throbb coded and I’ll eventually write the fic I’m going to bother you all ( they have explanations but considering I’ll eventually post the fic you’ll know them later)

Myrcella as Charlie

Arianne as Vaggie

Theon as Angel Dust

Robb as Husk

Jon as Sir Pentuos

Littlefinger as Alastor

Jeyne P as Cherri Bomb

Jaime as Lucifer

Cersei as Lilith

Cat as Carmilla

Ned as Zester

Ramsay as Valentino

Margaery as Velvette

Roose as Vox

[st-clements-steps]

Ohhh, crunchy! 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 15, 24, 36, please :D

Hey, hey, hey, lovely, the questions are from here

2. A minor or extinct house you need more lore on; you think I'd go Mallister, but no, I want to be part of the people making the Mallister lore, I have stolen them from GRRM, they are mine now, I'll share them obviously with other patrek, patrek, patrek enthusiasts. All those really borderline magical houses intrigue me, House Reed and all the other Crannogmen please; the Knotts and the Liddells and the Flints of the mountains, all those nomadic northern ones; that one at the edge of the Iron Islands, House Farwynd, are they Selkies? Are they warging into seals? Are they just a little bit like Shetlanders? Also it's kind of basic bitch of me, but House Dayne, they're very bloody sexy but I just want to see their real depth. (Also were House Poole once Crannogmen, their name kind of fits?) 5. Dead female character I need to save: Kyra. Obviously. Also I really should save Elia because personal affinity reasons. And then I think I'd have to save Lyanna too (I have written a POV of an older, saved, her, thanks to Eva being galaxy brained, and oh it was so interesting). Also Dacey so I can marry her please. Plus let's save all the live women, Jeyne P. and Jeyne W. and Pia especially. 6. A book or character you didn't like at first but have come to love - had a difficult initial relationship with feast and at first I found Brienne's chapters tricky but I came to really enjoy them. (I love her and I love wee Pod). And I didn't dislike Arya at first, but I was a bit bored by her, she just seemed quite like all those tomboy preteens I'd read as kid, Scout and Lyra and Tyke Tiler (British 70s children's novel that was still the kind of thing forced upon you in English in 90s Britain). But actually once she gets to Braavos, I'm much more enthralled and the Mercy chapter, oh, it floors me. 9. Build your small council - Tyrion, Gilly, Missandei (even though she's 11), in fact let's go Shireen too, and Wex (master of whisperers), and then before Tyrion kills me for making it a model UN class project, Barbrey, Arianna, Davos, and one of Asha's ratboys to be master of ships (She's busy ruling the Iron Island in my head). 10. A quote so good it makes you crazy -  Tyrion ruminating on the inevitability of history (and it feels like nature and nurture too, how generational trauma gets woven into us); It all goes back and back, Tyrion thought, to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us, and one day our own children will take up our strings and dance on in our steads. Theon arguing vociferously that trauma does not need to be physical; The noose I wore was not made of hempen rope, that's true enough, but I felt it all the same. And it chafed, Ser Rodrik. It chafed me raw. Sansa realising how her trauma has a molded her; My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. (I love this, I steal it for characterisation constantly, because being porcelain is such an interesting image especially)

And finally my boy Jon being a poet; The pale pink light of dawn sparkled on branch and leaf and stone. Every blade of grass was carved from emerald, every drip of water turned to diamond. Flowers and mushrooms alike wore coats of glass. Even the mud puddles had a bright brown sheen. Through the shimmering greenery, the black tents of his brothers were encased in a fine glaze of ice.

So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. He found himself thinking of his sisters, perhaps because he'd dreamed of them last night. Sansa would call this an enchantment, and tears would fill her eyes at the wonder of it, but Arya would run out laughing and shouting, wanting to touch it all. 15. Favourite Parent - Cersei (she's a terrible parent I realise, but she's the only parent who lives in my pocket) 24. A ship that gives me the ick - Jon Arya (actually find shipping her with anyone very difficult, she's very 11 in my head, I know its weird because I ship Sansa with a whole raft of people and there's only 2 years between them, but it is what it is, but also for me the idea of them being romantic very much diminishes their current love for another, why does a heartfelt sibling (or platonic in some other sense) relationship need to be really just oh its actually all lust filled romance?) 36. All the dub-con, non-con that gets sexy, I'm just there scrunching my nose, wondering if there's something GRRM needs to properly address with his therapist rather than continually writing into asoiaf. Oh and the timelines piss me off no end, House Stark in charge of the North for 8000 years! Eight Bloody Thousand? Really? And there's been basically no systemic change in society over that time? Was feudal back then? Still feudal now? Hardly any linguistic evolvement over those thousands of years? Etc. Thanks so much.

[ladycatofwinterfell]

✨

Jeyne W meets Ned and Cat for the first time! Also lighthearted modern au <3 I might continue this just because it was fun to write

“Your parents are so scary” Jeyne whispered.

Mr. and Mrs. Stark were standing not far away from the entrance, looking out over all the people. Mr. Stark had a way of keeping his face completely neutral while his eyes were cold as ice that was unnerving, to say the least. Not that he wasn’t nice, Jeyne had heard he was always perfectly polite and kind, even, but that somehow made him even scarier. What was he actually thinking? Mrs. Stark didn’t look as cold but there was a sharpness to her that was impossible to not notice, as if she was searching for weakness. While it was a lot easier to tell what she was thinking that worked the other way around for her. One could tell she was annoyed or upset. Jeyne had observed them from afar all night.

They rarely looked at each other as they spoke, never so much as a glance. Still they seemed to be in perfect sync.

“You don’t have to be afraid of them” Robb said with a smile. “They can be sharks sometimes, but not to family. Except their siblings sometimes, but that’s different.”

“Sharks?”

“They’ll circle around their prey, closing them in, before attacking. It usually ends in a bloodbath.”

He really wasn’t making it any easier for her. And though it was obvious that he was joking it didn’t make her any less nervous.

“And what does that mean?” she questioned.

“That they both grew up in insane corporate environments and were taught to be cutthroat before they could spell cutthroat in order to do good business. But they’re really nice in private and I know they’ll love you. Mom has been asking to meet you for so long.”

That wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Maybe Mrs. Stark wanted to meet her to see if she was as bad as she thought. Maybe Mrs. Stark would hate her. Maybe Mrs. Stark already hated her.

Jeyne felt like she was going to suffocate, it must have been noticeable on her face.

“Really, Jeyne, you don’t have to worry” Robb said and then pointed towards Mr. Stark. “His nails are pink because my little cousin wanted to paint them, he’s soft. And Mom is… well, Mom.”

It was hard to tell if what Robb said was true from that distance. If Mr. Stark’s nails were truly painted pink it had to be a very light pink.

“Theon says your mother is super scary.”

All she had heard from Theon were things about how scared he had been of Mrs. Stark when he was little.

“Don’t listen to a fucking word Theon says about my mother.”

“I haven’t heard him say–“

The shiver that ran down her spine made her unable to keep talking. She was quite sure of that hawks didn’t have blue eyes, still that was what she was most reminded of when Mrs. Stark’s eyes met hers.

Jeyne was unable to look away, stared as Mrs. Stark said a few words to her husband. Then he also looked towards Jeyne. He considered for a moment before answering his wife.

“Have I upset them?” Jeyne whispered.

Robb threw a quick glance at his parents.

“Not at all, they just look like that.”

Then Robb waved at them and Jeyne wanted to sink through the floor as they began walking towards her and Robb. Still she tried to smile.

Robb’s parents were not any less terrifying up close. On the contrary they seemed to grow scarier with every step they took towards her. Though they seemed happy. At least Mrs. Stark seemed happy.

“You must be Jeyne!” Mrs. Stark said with a smile as soon as they were within hearing.

She was tall. As tall as her husband. A head taller than Jeyne.

“It’s lovely to finally meet you!” she continued before Jeyne could confirm that she was indeed Jeyne.

“You too!” Jeyne said, hoping they couldn’t hear how nervous she was.

“You’ve probably figured that out by now, but we’re Robb’s parents” Mr. Stark said.

He extended a hand towards her. Jeyne suppressed the urge to dry her hand on her skirt and then shook it. Mr. Stark’s handshake was as firm as she had expected it to be. And his nails were pink, just as Robb had said.

“I like your nails” she said.

She hoped it would land, that he wouldn’t in some way be offended by it.

There was a hint of a smile on his face as he raised a hand to look at his pink nails.

“Catelyn’s niece has recently discovered nail polish and I’ve always had trouble telling the little ones no.”

“He spoiled our girls rotten when they were little” Mrs. Stark told her. “I expect he’ll do the same to yours once you have them.”

“Mom!” Robb exclaimed. “Don’t say that!”

Mrs. Stark grimaced at that.

“Sorry.”

[alleyskywalker]

NEW FIC: Undeniable Spice (Theon/various)

Title: Undeniable Spice Co-Author: @hell-heron Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire Characters/Pairings: Theon/Alys Karstark, Theon/Bessa, Theon/Catelyn, Theon/Daryn Hornwood, Theon/Eleyna Westerling, Theon/Falia Flowers, Theon/Greydon Goodbrother, Theon/Hagen's daughter, Theon/Irri, Theon/Jeyne P., Theon/Kyra, Theon/Loras, Theon/Marq Piper, Theon/Nymeria Sand, Theon/Olyvar, Theon/Patrek, Theon/Quentyn, Theon/Robb, Theon/Squirrel, Theon/Tris, Theon/Miller's Wife from Acorn Water, Theon/Wynafryd, Theon/Captain's Daughter, Theon/Yohn Farwynd, Theon/Zia Frey Rating: R / Mature Word Count: ~10,700 Summary: A collection of drabbles and ficlets featuring different Theon ships (sweet, bitter or spicy!), one for each letter of the alphabet.

Read on AO3

[medievalcat]

on the subject of bad thronezone fic tropes I have to give an honorable mention to over the top Mean Girl Jeyne P (AND BETH TOO SOMETIMES????) being so prevalent. but if Girl Theon was canon (as she should be) they would basically be the Mean Girl Clique in all the modern aus and I would support them. main series mean girl discourse vs the baby fight in dragonshow bullying discourse.  

[wexpyke]

Other ships for Theon and Robb you ship?

hi anon! definitely, but i'm nowhere near as enthusiastic about them as i am about throbb. the throbb brainrot has been developing for too long to let me get truly invested in any other theon or robb ships. nothing else compares...

anyway! in canon-verse, i do love robb/jeyne w. i think jeyne is really sweet and i like her a lot, actually. i'm struggling to think of any other 'big'/popular robb ships atm. i know some people like the idea of robb/myrcella and i can't say i'm opposed to that (once they're both a bit older, but obv that applies to all these ships haha). personally i don't really support incest ships*, but other than that, i can't think of any other robb ship i've seen that i actually dislike.

for theon, i do like theon/patrek (mostly thanks to MJ!). i prefer theon/jeyne p. to be more platonic, though after some years away from ramsay i definitely wouldn't mind it growing into something more. (my blog is definitely not a thramsay safe space. that is a big no-no for me.)

if we're talking major canon-divergence, such as modern au, i honestly support almost any theon-ship. i think in a modern au theon would live his best slutty life and i support that wholeheartedly 🫶

*with perhaps the exception of the lannister twins. i don't necessarily like it or agree with it or, you know, read fic for them, but i do think they're equally unhinged and they sort of belong together in a fucked up way. i dunno.

thank you for this question!! this was fun 🥰

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

This escalated a lot, (which was a good distraction from everything so I'm taking that as a good thing), so now I have to give:

Warnings: Discussions and mentions of all the horrible things we warn for in Theon's Plotline, particularly the ones about depersonhood, sexual violence, casual violence, classism, and so on and so on + a few suicide jokes and links to artistic depictions of the aftermath of rape.

I moved a few weeks ago and haven't been able to unpack because I got injured during the moving and my other arm is also fucked up because of something else that happened this year and today I finally got to clean around and actually do stuff and arrange my room and I started with my book shelf, which obviously means I didn't actually do much because I just started rereading whatever book I hadn't seen in a while got to my hands. And after realising that I certainly have a type for narratives and characters I started thinking about Hannah from Until Dawn and how amazing it was to have a dead female character with little to no characterisation that subverted the "haunt the narrative" thing we see in many of the asoiaf girls from the dead ladies club and yeah I am thinking about Kyra again and that is not a good mentality.

Elia and Lyanna are given a personality and a face through those who loved them, they feel real because the pain of those who mourn them feels real. Even Joanna Lannister gets some of that through what little we find out of her.

Kyra is a dead lady but she’s not a member of the Dead Ladies Club™. She doesn’t get that privilege. The only person who thinks of her is Theon and it is not done lovingly.

Kyra has a personality we are not privy too. She is a satellite character that is mentioned exclusively in relation to Theon, even in the exception of Bran's POV. Her existence is conditioned to Theon.

Jeyne Poole, although often called one, isn't a satellite character. From the very beginning of the story she is already a presence in multiple POV character's lives, even if her role in the story and her characterisation is weak; She is Sansa's friend, Arya's bully, even Catelyn mentions her and in relation to Robb, but we don't ever see her interacting with her father and none of those characters seems very concerned of her well-being. I don't even know if Ned was planning on sending her with Arya & Sansa or if she was supposed to stay with her father. She later ascends a bit by becoming a secondary but fundamental character in Theon's POV and the Northern plot.

Kyra however is a blank page with a name. This isn't meant as something derogatory. I still have flashbacks of my 2016 experience in this fandom and the way the only kyra stan I ever met would wage a war on jeyne p fans. This isn't my intention.

With exception of Theon there are four other characters that are mentioned to have interacted with her.

Bessa, another serving wench who is implied to have participated on a threesome with her and Theon some time before Bran V, AGOT (Oooh she and Theon were bi4bi!)

Wex Pyke, is mentioned to have slept at the foot of Theon's bed, a bed on which Kyra slept as well. (Oooh Dog imagery and the implied possible witnessing of rape!)

Ramsay Snow...not going to write that. We all know what happened.

Ben Bones, "[...] Even if we do escape, Lord Ramsay will hunt us down, him and Ben Bones and the girls." generalised statement by Theon during his escape with Jeyne. Ben Bones isn't mentioned in relation to Kyra and him being caught during their failed escape.

These aren't even brief versions of her connections, I'm reaching out with many of them.

What else do we know about her?

Ok. She is a serving wench and probably works at the Smoking Log (Source: Bran)

She blushes easily and seems to be embarrassed by public talks of her sex life (Source: Theon)

She seems like an eager lover and seemed to be excited when Theon first took her to Winterfell (Source: Theon)

She had never been at the castle before (Source: Theon)

She acted as the big spoon as they slept together (Source: Theon)

She still refers to Theon as "M'lord" during early ACOK, even if the aforementioned positioning of the two would have us believe there might be more emotional intimacy or closeness between the two (Source: Theon)

Theon raped her (Source: Theon)

Ramsay possibly raped her (Source: Ramsay saying he wanted to bed her)

She was taken prisoner with the other women and children who were at Winterfell after Ramsay sacked the castle. (Source: Theon)

At some point she managed to set herself free, stole the keys to Theon's cell, liberated him, asked him to help her back to Winterfell and failed (Source: Theon)

She threw a rock at Ramsay when he caught her and Theon again, and missed by a foot (Source: Theon)

She was mauled to death by hounds (Source: Theon)

Ramsay named a hound meant to kill other women during future hunts after her (Source: Theon)

He had run before. Years ago, it seemed, when he still had some strength in him, when he had still been defiant. That time it had been Kyra with the keys. She told him she had stolen them, that she knew a postern gate that was never guarded. "Take me back to Winterfell, m'lord," she begged, pale-faced and trembling. "I don't know the way. I can't escape alone. Come with me, please." And so he had. The gaoler was dead drunk in a puddle of wine, with his breeches down around his ankles. The dungeon door was open and the postern gate had been unguarded, just as she had said. They waited for the moon to go behind a cloud, then slipped from the castle and splashed across the Weeping Water, stumbling over stones, half-frozen by the icy stream. On the far side, he had kissed her. "You've saved us," he said. Fool. Fool. It had all been a trap, a game, a jape. Lord Ramsay loved the chase and preferred to hunt two-legged prey. All night they ran through the darkling wood, but as the sun came up the sound of a distant horn came faintly through the trees, and they heard the baying of a pack of hounds. "We should split up," he told Kyra as the dogs drew closer. "They cannot track us both." The girl was crazed with fear, though, and refused to leave his side, even when he swore that he would raise a host of ironborn and come back for her if she should be the one they followed. Within the hour, they were taken. One dog knocked him to the ground, and a second bit Kyra on the leg as she scrambled up a hillside. The rest surrounded them, baying and snarling, snapping at them every time they moved, holding them there until Ramsay Snow rode up with his huntsmen. He was still a bastard then, not yet a Bolton. "There you are," he said, smiling down at them from the saddle. "You wound me, wandering off like this. Have you grown tired of my hospitality so soon?" That was when Kyra seized a stone and threw it at his head. It missed by a good foot, and Ramsay smiled. "You must be punished." Reek remembered the desperate, frightened look in Kyra's eyes. She had never looked so young as she did in that moment, still half a girl, but there was nothing he could do. She brought them down on us, he thought. If we had separated as I wanted, one of us might have gotten away. - Reek I, ADWD

A few things:

1)

2) Kyra's own involvement

I've often seen people take Theon's inner thoughts as a fact. Most of us are convinced that this was all something Ramsay planned all along, that any possible escape was frustrated from the very beginning. I have often even seen fan works in which Kyra knows and tells Theon that Ramsay is planning to hunt them, but when looking closer to the text I find it difficult to believe that everything was a set up. In Theon's memories he mentions how the gaoler was drunk and had his breeches down, which I think implies that maybe it was Kyra who deliberately planned this. That maybe it was her who orchestrated him getting frunk and eventually also had sex with him, perhaps to get closer and take the keys. "She knew a poster gate that was never guarded" also implies that she wasn't held prisoner in the same way Theon was, but maybe was set up to become a slave/servant like Arya at Harrenhall and spent enough time roaming "free" to notice such things. If this was the case and it was her plan instead of Ramsay (who might or might not have maybe set up her environment and conditioned her thoughts of escape) then I think we can maybe add some other traits to her characterisation; we can assume she is observant, resilient and very brave.

3) I wanted to name this section "The Kiss" but then Klimt came to mind so we are naming it Frame 00:09:31 and Frame 00:09:38 of Belladonna of Sadness (tw the links for artistic depictions of the aftermath of rape)

There is often speculation going on whether the lack of something textual in these books can be seen as proof for something else. Canon romantic Jon/Sansa and the idea that Dany considers the Dothraki subhuman are often backed up by this sort of thought process (I admittedly don't believe in any of the aforementioned examples) but I don’t think we’ve ever seen it used in cases like that of Kyra, where I personally find it more fitting. Particularly when it comes to that scene and how Theon doesn't describe her response. I have always seen people take this as something reciprocal and sometimes even beautiful, and Theon internally chastising himself as he thinks of it is often attributed to thinking there was a chance of escape, when it could as well be him chastising himself because he kissed her without really considering how frightening the entire situation must have been for her. Her reasoning for setting him free is that he knows how to go back, not that she loves him or has forgive him. She is said to tremble as she pleads for help, her face is pale, and I can't help but wonder if part of her fear also came from having to beg her rapist to accompany her in her escape.

Based on her throwing a stone at Ramsay, who probably raped her in the past, I like to believe that when he kissed her she screamed, bit Theon and pushed him away.

4) The Girl

There are a few things in that text about Theon & Kyra that in hindsight remind me of Theon & Jeyne.

Some of it is relatively obvious and I have mentioned it in the past, such as the

"You've saved us," he said. - Reek I, ADWD

"You saved me," Jeyne had whispered, - Theon I, TWOW

and

"We should split up," he told Kyra as the dogs drew closer. "They cannot track us both." The girl was crazed with fear, though, and refused to leave his side, [...] If we had separated as I wanted, one of us might have gotten away. - Reek I, ADWD

"Stay close to me," Jeyne said. "Don't leave me." "I will be right beside you," Theon promised - Theon I, ADWD

but also

"Take me back to Winterfell, m'lord," she begged, pale-faced and trembling. "I don't know the way. I can't escape alone. Come with me, please." - Reek I, ADWD

He put a finger to her lips. "We can talk about that later. You need to be quiet now. Come with us. With me. We will take you away from here. Away from him." - Theon I, ADWD

and

Reek remembered the desperate, frightened look in Kyra's eyes. She had never looked so young as she did in that moment, still half a girl, but there was nothing he could do. - Reek I, ADWD

The eyes of the bride were brown. Big and brown and full of fear. It was not right that she should look to him for rescue.  - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

Overall my perception of things tells me that there was a drastic change in Theon's character after her death. It is him who this time has comed up with a plan and has to beg/repeatedly ask for someone else to accompany him. Something I find peculiar is how he describes fear being visible through their eyes and the sight of it makes him feel guilt over his lack of agency.

When comparing his behaviour during the failed escape and the flight we see that he no longer plans on leaving Jeyne in order to escape by himself (and we see him prove that during TWOW when he comments on how her ribs broke so HE CARRIED HER jdsfskdjfnsdkjf aren't you supposed to be emaciated???). And while I find that a very noble development, as I consider salvation to be symbiotic, it leads me to wonder:

5) The AU

So many fanworks often depict Theon holding her hand and going ahead as they run, it's a beautiful image but it doesn't follow into what the canon is telling us.

Kyra being the active one in this event, her having to be the one who not only approaches Theon with thoughts of escape but also begs for his help, implying he might have been hesitant at first, she being the one who refuses to leave him although he is set off on their(/his?) chances of a successful escape being higher if they part ways, all this points to him probably not wanting to hold her hand through it, much less lead her through his same path.

And then I think of Theon's promise

The girl was crazed with fear, though, and refused to leave his side, even when he swore that he would raise a host of ironborn and come back for her if she should be the one they followed. - Reek I, ADWD

Would he? Would he have returned with a host if ironborn to get her? I don't think he would have. I don't think he was consciously lying to her or that he would just forget of her and leave with no remorse and never think of her again. I think it would have become inconvenient to return and he would have told himself it is impossible and she would haunt him nonetheless, but what consolation is that for her?

If he had miraculously managed to get to his sister or to Dagmer Cleftjaw, had miraculously managed to rapidly heal and regain his strength, would he have been able to get himself a host of loyal ironborn that would follow him far far far into the land, away from the realms of he who dwells beneath the waves, just to save some random girl he used to bed? Ad given how emotionally constipated is, how introverted, how he rarely displays vulnerability, what could he have said in order to change their mind?

Even her physical appearance, something that Theon, a somewhat libidinous young man, might have remarked on, is omitted. She doesn't have thick auburn hair, which could have made some readers use her as "proof" for him being "psychosexually" (another word most people in here don't know how to define but will use regardless) attracted to Robb/Sansa/Cat. The eyes of the girl aren't "big and brown" for me and a few other delusional people to claim as "foreshadowing" for a future romance. There aren't any mentions of her having a sharp nose that could have made us think of her as a semblance of his own family back at the Islands. There is nothing. She is nothing.

Sometimes we readers attempt to give closure to Kyra through fan work; I have seen art depicting her as a ghost "forgiving" Theon, there are fics in which Theon takes care of the hound that was named after her or (I am guilty of this too) him taking care of Jeyne is somehow seen by the narrative as atonement for his past mistreatment of Kyra. None of these works are inherently bad or disrespectful and I can appreciate what they do and I enjoy many of them (@/ghostlyturncloaks has a very beautiful fic involving Theon and Kyra, the hound), but none of them will give Kyra, the actual Kyra who used to breath and was then killed by hounds, closure because that is simply impossible to do given how she is not a real character compared to those who surround her. When people in this fandom talk about "stanning the girls who suffer/are victims" it is often done either in a holier-than-thou light or in a derogative manner but it never refers to Kyra because Kyra isn't allowed to be a person in the text.

Taking care of Jeyne or the hound won't make things right for her and there are no reasons for her to forgive Theon when Theon refuses to even think of the act with indisputable textual remorse. We can read between the lines and realise that Theon feels guilt, the fact she "and her keys" haunt him is already proof of that, but does he feel guilt for her terrible death, for him raping her, for how little he valued her as a person or for all of these together?

And I don't think that Theon is inherently a bad person for not valuing her and not being interested in her as a person, I think such situations are cruelly casual and rarely intentional. I think most people across their life will come to realise that they should have valued someone more. Our feelings aren't reciprocal and that isn't necessarily a sign of vileness. And, to my shame, I admit that part of my obsession with my unlucky trio of Jeyne, Falia and Kyra is somewhat motivated by my own feelings of depersonalisation and overall worthlessness and irrelevance.

It is difficult to explain, at most I can maybe compare it to the way Dany has managed to appeal to so many woc through her journey. Cersei, Dany, Arya and Sansa are all well written, interesting and profound characters that will go down in history both in and out of universe as such. Kyra won’t, neither will Falia, the Jeynes might have but they weren’t enough and were quickly replaced without many mourning that change in the way we mourn Daenerys' popularised end game as a mad queen or Arya's popularised endgame as a badass assassin without any nuisance. And I can understand why! This anger is purely mine!

With Kyra there is a world to explore, but only as long as Theon is no longer there. We can't give her a respectful characterisation if our only source and voice is that of Theon, if we were to that it would probably be highly ooc. But then again we can't even interact with her without Theon being in the picture. What happened to Bessa? Was she killed during the Winterfell sack? Were they friends? I imagine they were close if the two worked together and also had a threesome. Did she feel fear and maybe a pang of jealousy when she saw her being summoned to the castle to never come back to their inn? Did Kyra have a family? Maybe they were working the fields in the late summer/early autumn and were hoping to see her in winter again. I will be arrogant by referring to the images meme I recently made for her but yeah, Nathaniel Russel's fake fliers you will go down in my memory:

Even something as benign and well meaning as giving her a face, be it by a film/show/comic-adaptation or fan art, is somewhat counterproductive to what I think might have been aimed by the writer through her being a faceless pain. A face can make someone become sympathetic or interesting, meanwhile Kyra is pain unbridled and without any mentioned outer or inner beauty to get us to be invested in her. I might have my headcanons for her, with and without Theon, but I am not meant to have them.

The most common Tumblr tag for the sharing of Kyra related posts is "#kyra and her keys" and although this will be perceived by may as a holier than thou attitude I think it speaks on itself that we readers, the few readers who care enough about Kyra to dedicate a post to her, have decided to refer to her with a concept Theon chose for her. We define her through Theon without any real consideration for her own feelings. "#kyra asoiaf" has about three posts last I checked.

[jeyne-stark]

📔

Snow-White and Rose-Red AU: Jeyne P and Sansa meet a magical talking animal and accidentally break his curse, and he turns into a Theon and marries them both

[esther-dot]

Jeyne W is good sister of Sansa and Jeyne P is close friend almost sister to Sansa. Both Jeyne are similar to Sansa in many aspects. Jeyne W married to Robb and Jeyne P was rescued by Theon. Both Robb and Theon are foils to Jon. Just like Jon and Sansa, Jeyne and Robb thinking to name their kid after Ned. Theon and Jeyne had similarities with Jonsa.

Oh yes, I of course can't find them all right now, but several of us have written about Robb/Jeyne in relation to Jonsa as well as Theon/Jeyne (the life is not a song callback). As far as I know, Theon is the character Martin singled out as the foil for Jon, and therefore, I found the inclusion of Sansa and her stories, Theon's reclaiming of his identity aligning with them, very interesting as we know he’s associated with Jon in his mind:

It was not right that she should look to him for rescue. What had she been thinking, that he would whistle up a winged horse and fly her out of here, like some hero in the stories she and Sansa used to love? He could not even help himself. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with meek. (ADWD, The Prince of Winterfell)

I could jump, he thought. He lived, why shouldn't I? He could jump, and … And what? Break a leg and die beneath the snow? Creep away to freeze to death?

It was madness. Ramsay would hunt him down, with the girls. Red Jeyne and Jez and Helicent would tear him to pieces if the gods were good. Or worse, he might be taken back alive. "I have to remember my name," he whispered. (ADWD, A Ghost in Winterfell)

He and the girl were alone. If they take us alive, they will deliver us to Ramsay.

Theon grabbed Jeyne about the waist and jumped. (ADWD, Theon I)

The idea of saving another person being a crucial part of coming back to oneself seems relevant to Jonsa as Jon will have recently been assassinated/awakened and dealing with the trauma of that when Sansa flees to him for help.

[west1rosi]

jeyne p having a crush on all of the boys (robb, Jon, theon) on different points of her life.

[stormborns]

Chapters of A Song of Ice & Fire - A Dance With Dragons - Theon I In the songs, the hero always saved the maiden from the monster's castle, but life was not a song, no more than Jeyne was Arya Stark. Her eyes are the wrong color. And there are no heroes here, only whores. Even so, he knelt beside her, pulled down the furs, touched her cheek. "You know me. I'm Theon, you remember. I know you too. I know your name."

[littlerockerao3]

There’s honestly no better duo than a person’s partner and best friend who get along