#pack it up guys. wheres the draws worst art ever meme when you need it

[kkoct-ik]

Jimmy big naturals Please? 🙏🏽

one order of cursed drawings for some two lovely people ever . enjoy

[sadpottedplant]

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more milk

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? whatever paper is lying around

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i take tea w honey

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? actually no

6: do you keep plants? i try

7: do you name your plants? no

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? pen and pencil

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? NANA?

12: what’s your favorite planet? saturn or neptune

13: what’s something that made you smile today? being able to talk with nina on the way home from school

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots of windows and plants and books and bedding! also rlly high up!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! there are more suns in our galaxy than there are grains of sand on earth

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? whole wheat angel hair with butter and parmesan

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one time ioffered to sub for this guy i didnt relly know and i said “hashtag helpful” out loud and he as so disgusted ug

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I want to ! And I want to write about thhings i like and draw lil doodles and paint in it!

20: what’s your favorite eye color? BROWN

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. well i dont really love my bag but i had this purple backback all throughout elementary and middle school

22: are you a morning person? no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? look up things to draw and play mindless games

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? i dont think so. i wish though

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? in 8th grade i had to break into my own house

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? maybe my old converse

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? watermelon

28: sunrise or sunset? i wish sunrise but reaistically sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of my friends always leans forward whenever I break when I drive my car. And another one gets really excited bout numbers and its adorable

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes one time i thought my house was getting broken into and another  time i thought i was lost int he woods

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks that have cute patterns and are warm

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

33: what’s your fave pastry? brownies

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i did but that shit expensive

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean bu its always mesy

38: tell us about your pet peeves! broken nails anpying and people wo are ompetetive about everything and make you feel bad about yourself

39: what color do you wear the most? blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? i have a sun necklacce that my sister gave my mom from mexico that i “borrow”

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect beads

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the transcending brain meme

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? no but i want to

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? slept in the attic to rove i should have a bedroom there

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? being funny and optimistic and talkative

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? excited and yes

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? rache is the wine mom and ella is the vodka aunt

59: what’s your favorite myth?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? i gave a set of lobster claw gloves. I received an eraser. 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i leav them be

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? ella, or shana

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

68: what’s winter like where you live? pretty at first but cold and oo slushy and gross at the end

69: what are your favorite board games?clue and rack-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?no

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? lemon

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? kin of

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they always strive to be the best and they are quiet when you first meet them but loud and funny and competetive once they are comfortable with you

75: tell us about your pets! i have a guinea pig who is paralyzed

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? my pyschology paper

77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? taken me out to cheesecake factory for my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? cream color but i hate the color and i wish i had chose blue i am really indecisive

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

82: are/were you good in school? i am pretty good in school

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? calvin and hobbes!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

89: are you close to your parents? yes

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i love the vibe o san fransisco, everything is so pretty. i also love new ork city because there is so much going on

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? im goign to the galapagos islands in 10 days (im nervouse)

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drowns

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? ponytail

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

95: what are your plans for this weekend? draw and pack for an upcoming trip and do homework

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? it depends

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk, cancer, hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? past, because i have a lot of regrets and i reallly would like to fix them

[fictionalrat]

let it happen | chapter 4

read on ao3

9:40 A.M.

Lance saves the document, closes it, stares at his laptop desktop image until his eyes start to sting, groans in frustration, and slams his laptop shut. Puts it aside. He crosses his arms like a petulant child, he chews on his bottom lip, his eyes roam around his room.

He watches as the wind plays lazily with his curtains, making their shadows dance, swaying back and forth.

Something moves in his peripheral vision. He rolls his head to the side, fingers hovering over the keypad. The sight that meets him makes him pause, his fingers freeze, Keith looks so peaceful, he looks almost… ethereal. It’s kind of disturbing, yet mesmerizing at the same time.

Keith’s pale face glows a tender hue under the morning light, the sun tinges his chapped lips a deep pink, the scar under his left eye looks almost translucent.

Keith’s so… unfairly beautiful.

He catches himself tracing down the slopes of Keith’s face, the lines of his jaw, the curve of his upper lip with his eyes like a piece of chalk on canvas. He’s never seen something quite this stunning before in his life (granted, he’s only 22, but that’s beside the point), if only he knew how to draw like Keith does.

Lance can’t take this, his heart’s too weak.

He wants to bury his face in Keith’s ruffled hair, wants to breathe him in, wants to have him in his arms, wants to touch, but he seems so out of reach like this. Lance curls his fingers into fists, aching to touch. He restrains himself from charting pale, fading freckles down with his fingertips.

It… it’s very distracting, is what it is.

Keith scrunches up his nose, grumbles and throws an arm over his eyes. Lance’s breath catches in his throat.

Lance… Lance is fucked, he knows he’s fucked, he already knew that then (when Keith suggested this… arrangement), he knows that now, he’s known that for some time now, but it never fails to catch him by surprise. This… feeling never fails to overwhelm him. He fucking hates this… whatever this is, he has no fucking word for this… feeling. It claws at his throat, it kicks him the gut, it scorches his heart, it clenches his heart in a death-grip, it steps on it, it rips his heart apart.

Lance covers his face in his hands and rubs, groaning in frustration. This is ridiculous. He forces himself to look away, and focuses on drilling a hole into the wall with the force of his glare instead, running his tongue over one of his canines.

Do not distract yourself with cheesy rom-com bullshit, bitch, he scolds himself, Write. Yes, writing is good. Stressful, but good. Go back to writing. Avoid contact. Don’t look. Avert your eyes. Work. You’ve got work to do, so do it.

After about five or so minutes of glaring despondently into fucking space and hating himself for being pathetic, he does. He’s always been good at taking all his frustrations on his writing.

He pulls his laptop into his lap, opens it, double taps, and the document appears on the screen. The cursor blinks curiously at him, he blinks back, and sighs. He starts scanning it for typos, and corrects them, all the while grumbling about how fucking stupid he is, and how fucking stupid all those mistakes were.

He adds some of the worst expletives in big, bold and italic capital letters next to shitty, weird ass sounding paragraphs that don’t ever seem to get any better, even after rewriting them seven thousand three hundred and eighty-four fucking times. Doesn’t matter how many times he tries, how many times he bangs his fists on the keyboard, how hard he hits the keys, the words don’t ever seem to come out quite right.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

“¡BESA MI CULO, PUTO!” He snaps at one particularly dumb typo, and deletes its whole sentence out of spite.

Keith stirs, and groans next to him, turning his body towards Lance. Lance tenses, holding his breath and sitting very still until he’s super sure, 100% Keith won’t wake up. Keith sighs obliviously in his sleep, and turns on his stomach. Lance lets out a relieved breath, closing his eyes.

He snaps them open and shakes his head in frustration, “No seas tonto, Lance.”

He hits ctrl-z and skips the paragraph entirely, jumping to two paragraphs bellow, he reads it and gasps, “¿Qué carajo? Who wrote this? A fiveslgfjdjdfds.” A hand lands on the side of his face with a smack, smooching his cheek. Lance screams, - of course he does, how could he not. - and almost falls off the bed.

“SHUT YOUR ROTTEN MOUTH, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP,” Keith growls at him, voice raspy, and low, and terrifying. Even muffled by the pillow and drowsy, his voice doesn’t lose its aggressive edge. What the fuck.

Lance, after recovering his soul, turns his head so he can stare at Keith with raised brows, and huffs, “Hella lot of words coming from a sleeping person, I’d say.”

Keith groans and lifts his face off the pillow, glaring at him through squinty eyes, “Shut that fucking trap, you moldy piece of bread, or get out.”

“This is my fucking room, Keith,” Lance sputters, snapping his laptop shut for added effect, “you get out.”

“I’M SLEEPING, PISS OFF,” Keith kicks at Lance’s leg with enough force to bruise.

“OW! CAREFUL WITH MY COMPUTER, YOU BRUTE!”

Keith grumbles, turning his back to Lance and covering his head with Lance’s comforter. He curls into a ball, shutting Lance out.

Lance relocates his grumpy ass to the couch after flipping an oblivious, snoring Keith off.

He loves the guy, but damn, can he be an asshole so-

…Wait, did he just-

Oh, hell no.

10:34 A.M.

stud muffin so………….. do i even wanna know? probably not, but you’re gonna tell me anyway pidge, cover ur eyes

pidgeotto shut up hunk im not 5 GIVE ME DA DEETS LANCE

space boi lance AWWW MAN MY DUDES MY BROS MY PALS MIS HERMANOS

pidgeotto oh boy here we go…….. im regretting this already

space boi lance SHUT IT BIRD TURD anyway where was i before i was so rudely interrupted??? ah yeah OH MY GOD MY DUDES hes a screamer KEITH KOGANE OUR KEITH IS A SCREAMER ITS LIKE AAAAAA GUYS boi so thicc too goddem cant wait to have him up my ass honest such a nice dick 11/10 reallygreat work of art grade a AND DAT ASS!!!!!!!! GUH SO FUCKING SMOOTH he looks really nice when hes sleeping too so soft i want to chomp on his cheeks ughhhhhh how can he be so perfect its so unfair im swooning i swear to GOD he looks hot even when hes kicking me out of my own room which UNFAIR

A facebook notification pops up at the top of his phone screen in the middle of his rant.

Hunk Garrett tagged you in a post, it says.

Lance arches an eyebrow, “Huh.”

He taps it open.

Hunk Garrett is listening to the less i know the better, by tame impala i’d like to dedicate this song to my good pal Lance Martínez you know /why/ Pidge Holt and 5 others 

Pidge Holt  HOOOOOO BOY THE BURN THATS Y UR MY MAIN HO HUNK I LOVE U

Matthew Holt lol babe look at The Shade Takashi 

Takashi Shirogane Ah yes, that is indeed The Shade Of It All *scratches chin* Lance Martínez shiro i love u but dude ure embarrassing get off the internet Matthew Holt dont trash talk the baby lance Matthew Holt he’s sensitive Matthew Holt (ure adorable babe) Takashi Shirogane I take offence to that Lance Takashi Shirogane No more dog memes for you Lance Martínez NOOOOOO DAD NOT THE DOGGO MEMES Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lance Martínez u guys are absolute TRASH

Lance Martínez the WORST I TELL U WORST

Lance Martínez I NEED NEW FRIENDS ASAP 

Pidge Holt awwwwwwww lance i love u too Pidge Holt u can tell me everything later i’ll allow it Pidge Holt bring food Pidge Holt and redbull Pidge Holt tons of redbull Lance Martínez ure… ugh Lance Martínez i hate u Lance Martínez u tiny bird turd Pidge Holt URE tiny Lance Martínez GASP U TAKE THAT BACK Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lance Martínez LULU NOT U TOO Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11:35 A.M.

He’s avoiding the huge ass, one-sided, and glittery elephant in the room, he’s avoiding the fuck out of it. He’ll avoid the fuck out of it until it goes away, until it disappears for good, until it goes to fucking hell, until it’s burning in the fifth circle of hell.

He has no time for this.

This project is worth 40% of his grade.

His prof’s a mad man, yeah, but that’s how it is. He won’t flunk this class just because he can’t control his feelings.

He can’t, won’t, jeopardize his project just because of fucking feelings.

¡No, de ninguna puta manera! 

He needs a shower. 

And a joint. 

And coffee. 

Tons of coffee. 

But a shower first, then facials, then weed, then coffee.

Tons of coffee. 

He’ll also down a shot of tequila, because he’s feeling adventurous. 

(Reckless, he means reckless.)

1:45 P.M.

Lance’s minding his own business, stirring his way into his fifth?? possibly, probably, he’s not sure, cup of coffee, and stuffing his face with ham and pineapple pizza rolls in the kitchen after smoking a whole joint by himself in the bathroom, when he hears it. It is terrifying. A dull thud reverberates through the apartment, echoed by it; the most earth-shattering, ear-splitting shriek he’s ever heard.

“LANCE!”

He freezes, his heart plummets.

His spoon drops and clatters on the floor.

“LANCE, YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD,” the deity roars.

Lance squeaks like a fucking mice, and squats, hiding behind the counter.

Run. Pack your things and go, get out of town. Flee to Europe, change your name-

He presses his overheated cheek to the counter and sighs, so good. He grins wide.

Keith’s feet smack on the floor as he stomps, over-aggressively, I dare add, out of Lance’s room, “What the fuck did you do to my ass, you rotten egg?” His voice is louder now, much louder. Lance jumps mid giggle-fit, which sets him off into another one.

“ME!” Lance peers over the countertop and raises his hand, waving sluggishly and cackling, bloodshot eyes wide. Well, as wide as they can go, which, honestly, isn’t much, considering, “I DID THE FUCK! I PUT MY DICK IN - HAH - YOUR ASS! YOU LET ME - HAHAH - IT WAS WILD!”

Keith takes a long look at him and, like a flip has switched, his scowl melts and he bursts out laughing, his nose crinkling up. It’s so fucking adorable, Lance’s heart hurts. It burns. It screams in pain. Lance laughs the pain away like the idiot he is, or maybe just because he’s high as fuck. One can never be too sure, ya feel.

“I know that, you fucking stoner, I mean THE BRUISES.” He points at his bare hips, trying to catch his breath.

Lance’s eyes travel south.

Helloooo there, legs.

Wait, he went too far.

Go back two frames.

There, hips.

Lance blinks, and tries to open his eyes further. He can’t.

He blinks again.

Oh.

Ho boy, he did a number on the guy alright.

Also, this part is super wild, bare with him, it looks weirdly… beautiful? It’s gorgeous, actually. It’s a masterpiece, Lance is an artist.

The red and purple splotches scattered across Keith’s skin are… kind of blurring together in one big ass bruise, that reminds him oddly of the Milky Way. Lance fights hard against the white urge to draw an alien-head above Keith’s hipbone. Keith probably wouldn’t mind it, though. The nerd. Lance chuckles.

Keith clears his throat.

Lance flicks his eyes up at Keith, blinks languidly at him several times. Keith’s waiting for something, isn’t he? What is it again? He rakes his brain for an answer. It beeps.

Ah, yeah.

An answer, right. He needs to answer Keith, duh.

Lance cackles at his stupidity.

“Oh, that.” Lance wipes his eyes on his sleeve in between chuckles as he finally answers, sniffing. He braces his arms on the counter and pushes himself up on his feet, winking, “I’m not sorry about that.” He lies his torso on the counter, smooching his cheek against the cool surface, and shoots Keith a lopsided smile.

Keith shakes his head, “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you looooooove me,”  Lance sing-songs, finger gunning lazily with a grin.

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, and gets closer, dragging one of the stools from under the counter, and sitting down gingerly, wincing a little. His eyes flicker swiftly to something as he settles, before they land on Lance again. Keith frowns, “Should you be drinking coffee?”

Lance frowns back, puzzled, turning his head so he can look at his mug. “Shouldn’t I?” He wonders.

Keith leans over the counter, elbows propped up, and starts picking idly at one of the pizza rolls sitting pretty on the plate in front of him, “It doesn’t affect your high?”

Lance gasps. His pizza rolls. “No touching, you fugly mullet, it’s mineeeeee,” Lance whines, reaching forward and swatting Keith’s fugly hand away. He snatches the plate from Keith and brings it closer to himself, tucking it in between his arms, away from pizza roll-thieving mullets. Lance sticks out his tongue at him, before fitting two of the biggest rolls in his mouth. At the same time. For emphasis. His cheeks puff out.

Keith ducks his head to hide his grin. “You look like a chipmunk,” he comments nonchalantly, tapping his knuckles idly on the surface.

“Nhobowdshy ashkd yuh, Puhtrish,” Lance shoots back.

Keith rolls his eyes and flips him off with both hands, leaning back on his stool.

Lance flashes him the half-chewed food.

“Fuck, that’s gross.”

“Ah.” Lance struggles to swallow all of it dry, but manages, “I forgot to - clears throat - answer, coffee doesn’t affect my high much.” He shrugs, taking a bite off one of the rolls. Keith hums.

Lance swallows, “Pass me the straw, please. The long, bendy one.” He gestures a thumb back.

Keith slides from the stool in one smooth movement, makes his way around the counter and goes for the drawers. Lance hears as it slides open, “Which color?”

“Purple,” Lance answers over his shoulder.

He stretches his arm when Keith pulls the straw out and makes a grabby hand at him.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Keith holds the straw over his head.

“Gimme, or I’ll punch your di-I-i-aaAAAAAah,” he tries to steal the straw from Keith, but loses his footing and almost dives face-first into the cold, hard floor. “¡Coño!” He fumbles to keep upright, hooking a hand on the edge of the other side of the counter. Thank fuck for long fingers.

Lance manages to get his balance back by planting his feet firmly on the ground. Keith makes his way back to his stool, and once he’s settled, he hands Lance the straw already stretched. Keith’s lips quiver in a poorly concealed attempt not to laugh, eyes twinkling mirthfully.

Lance rolls his eyes as he throws the straw into his cup, propping himself on his elbow and resting his chin on his palm.

Keith makes gagging sounds, bangs falling on his eyes.

Lance ignores him in order to bring the straw to his lips with his free hand, and suck the coffee, swallowing in an obnoxiously loud gulp.  

Keith’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “You’re gross,” Keith comments, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Thanks, I try,” Lance grins around his straw, then frowns at Keith’s bare chest. “Shouldn’t you put on some clothes, though?” Lance asks, eyes half-lidded, “It’s freezing, Keith.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, looking down. “Off-topic, but no, Lance, it’s not,” he shoots Lance a look, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “And how would you know, anyway? You’re high.”

“What’s this jealousy I’m feeling? There’s more, you know.” He pats the breast pocket of his sweatshirt with a dopey smile, and meets Keith’s eyes as he takes a sip, waggling his brows. He swallows and winks, “Don’t need to get all broody on me, grumpy pants.”

Keith hides his face on his arms and groans. Lance can see the blush rising on Keith’s neck, and allows himself a mental pat on the back as he pushes himself upright.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lance trots towards his bedroom.

3:32 P.M.

When they sober up enough to get stuff done, they throw themselves on the couch, legs tangled because why not, right? It’s not like Lance’s life makes any sense, anyway.

Lance with the camera in his hands and laptop on his stomach, Keith with his headphones around his ears, and one of his weird, edgy sci-fi books resting on his thighs.

Lance rests his head on the armrest and hits play.

Keith’s feet tap a comforting rhythm against Lance’s.

4:02 P.M.

Keith falls asleep against the couch, mouth slightly open.

Lance does a poor job at reducing the volume of his laughter at his dramatics on video. Even though Keith’s got his headphones on, Lance still manages to wake him up, and ends up getting kicked in the shin by a very rumpled, grumpy, and over-sized baby with a fugly mullet for that.

He tries not to laugh again.

…He fails miserably, and both his shins suffer.

Terribly.

4:30 P.M.

Because Lance has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, they didn’t manage to catch Keith’s o-face on video. Life is unfair, God hates him, Jesus hates him, even Buddha must hate him, because this, right here, has got to be some sort of twisted divine punishment. Maybe it’s Karma, maybe he was a murderer in his past life, he doesn’t know. What he does know, though, is that this must be fixed.

“Dude,” he kneels on the couch and shakes Keith’s knee to wake him up, “Dude. DUDE!”

Keith’s eyes flutter open and he squints at Lance, blinking blearily, utterly confused.

Lance sits back on his heels and he offers Keith the camera, “Look.”

Keith, while frowning up at him, sits up and takes it. He yawns, unplugging his headphones from his phone and into the camera. He hits play.

Keith snaps the camera shut after about ten minutes, a furious blush burning his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He still looks mildly confused, though, and astoundingly flustered, bringing his knees to his chest.

Lance bites on his bottom lip and heaves a huge breath. “We’ll have to tape chapter 1 again,” he clarifies.

Keith lifts an eyebrow, face still bright red, “Because…”

“I can’t see your face when you’re coming, dude.” Lance explains, waving his hands at the camera in exasperation, “That’s unacceptable, you know. really preposterous. I can’t have this, I can’t WRITE like this. This is a disaster. We gotta redo this, Keith. It’s a matter of life and death.” He grabs both Keith’s knees and shakes.

“But- I’m awake now, dipshit, quit shaking me,” He snaps, batting Lance’s hands away from his knees, “But… don’t you remember my face when I was actually coming yesterday?”

So, you see… remember when Lance mentioned he has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, and some sort of divine punishment is being inflicted upon him? There’s another reason to back up that assessment.

They not only hadn’t caught Keith’s o-face on video, but he also didn’t get to see Keith’s o-face in living color yesterday because he had his fucking eyes closed. Which rude, Lance. That is just plain rude. There’s no excuses. That’s probably why God, Jesus, and Buddha hate you this much.

Lance hangs his head. “I- I had my eyes closed,” he confesses, accepting defeat.

“You’re hopeless.”

Lance’s head shoots up and he gasps, “Excuse!”

“No,” Keith stands up abruptly, almost kneeing Lance’s nose in the process.

Lance squawks and reels back, out of reach, eyes wide, “Wha-”

“Shut the fuck up, you dry raisin,” Keith glares accusingly at him and Lance flinches, “I’ll fix this.”

“Kei-”

Keith’s arm shoots up, and he points his index finger at Lance, thick eyebrows pinched. “Stay put,” he warns, waving his finger, “don’t fucking move, don’t breathe.”

Lance is too confused to react, or even say anything, so he just gapes.

“Just… stay there, I’ll be quick.”

Keith returns buck naked, with a dildo and the lube in hands.

Lance’s at a loss, he’s a loss for words, his sass is gone, along with his ability to form coherent thoughts. Keith has that effect on him, apparently. Keith always finds a way to give Lance whiplash.  

Keith dumps the stuff on the coffee table and turns his attention to Lance, he chuckles at what he sees there, “Shut your mouth, Lance, you’ll catch a fly.”

Lance finds his voice. “Wha-” he clears his throat, and shakes his head before continuing, “What the fuck?” (Eloquent.)

Keith rolls his eyes as he picks up the camera, “You’re gonna tape me as I touch myself.”

Keith hands Lance the camera.

“I don’t…” Lance takes it, still completely dumbfounded.

Keith cuts him off, “I told you I’d fix this, didn’t I? So this is me, fixing it.”

Something in Lance’s brain seems to click.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Oh no, is what he means, no fucking way. He’s gonna die today.

Yup, today is the day.

“Okay, so…” Keith claps his hands, “scooch over, I need the space.”

Lance’s eyes widen, “You really gonna do this here? On the couch?”

“Is there a problem?”

Yes. There’s a ton of problems, actually. Not with Keith doing it on the couch, but still, there’s a problem. Tons of problems. These problems have problems. For one, Lance will probably die. For two, he can’t do this anymore. He can’t but he has to, and he will because his project is worth 40% of his final grade, he will because he has to. He has the moral duty to prove to Keith, and to himself, that he, as a matter of fact, can do this, even if he’ll end up hurt. Fuck his feelings.

“No, no, nope, no problem at all. I’m all up for jerking off on the couch, sign me the fuck up. It’s just…” Lance blows a raspberry, scratching the back of his head, looking around the room, uncertain. He can’t meet Keith’s eyes, “it looks too cramped, I think? I was just, uhm, thinking that maybe, I don’t know, you’d prefer doing this on a bed?”

Keith snorts, “Nah, it’s okay.”

Lance finally looks at him, searching his face, “You sure? Like, 100%?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Yes Lance, don’t worry, just… keep the camera on me.”  

Lance sits upright, crisscrossing his legs, and points the camera at Keith.

[tylerhoech]

daliaaaaa could you tell me your fave sterek fics please?? :)

How could you ask me this? Do you have any idea how manysterek fics I’ve read over the years? How many I’ve loved?

This is a short list of the very few I could think of offthe top of my head. I think I’ll probably make a recs page, because I’ve beenmeaning to for a long time. I have a recs tag, but that includes differentpairings as well.

Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!”Derek raised an eyebrow at him.“That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress.Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

The Price

Stiles must surrender the most important thing in his life to protect the town… and no one can figure out what it was.

Around The Bend

The first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can’t stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family’s gym. Stiles thinks Derek’s a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful

“Be cool, Dad, we’ve decided to con Grandma.”

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Possibly I Like The Thrill Of Under Me You

It’s not that the idea of Stiles talking about him doesn’t make his stomach wrap itself in knots, it’s that it does just that. It makes him unbelievably uncomfortable and he doesn’t quite know why. He’s twenty seven years old, he pays taxes, he takes his mother out for lunch on Sundays; he is a grown up. But he’s getting weird butterflies when he glances over his shoulder to look at Stiles and a heat in his chest that feels something like what he supposes want must feel like.

i want to say all those things that would be better unsaid

Derek is a lonely professor who decides to call a phone sex line.

Stiles is a poor grad student who needs to make a living somehow.

“One night stands were never this good. Hell, his previous relationships were never this good. Derek was so screwed, but right now he didn’t care.”

Little Kid Crush

“What’s your name?” Derek asks, wiping the last of the tears off the kid’s face with his sleeve.

“’tiles,” the kid mumbles, and Derek frowns, wondering if he heard correctly.

“Tiles?” Derek repeats.

“Stiles,” the kid repeats, pouting at Derek slightly, defiant even though his eyes are still puffy and red and his cheeks tear-stained.

Ten Days

Derek Hale does not like babies. So when his pack gets turned into babies, it’s pretty much the worst thing that could happen to him.

Introduction to Zero-Sum Anthropology

Stiles buys Derek a set of cooking spoons. Derek retaliates with lunch.

The war begins.

Here’s My Hand if You’ll Take It (I Can Be That Part of You)

When Stiles is away at college, he realises that he’s in love with Derek. He also realises that he doesn’t exactly have the qualities an alpha needs in a mate. Boyfriend. Whatever. So he decides to change, with a little help from Martha Stewart. It’s just that Stiles isn’t all that great when it comes to tending to the betas, baking or cleaning. But maybe he doesn’t have to be.

The One Where Stiles Vets Derek’s Girlfriends

Across the loft, Cora claps her hands. “Okay, new rule. Any time Derek wants a date, one of us has to vet her first.”

Scott, who’s actually upside down on Derek’s couch, in apparent celebration of their defeat of the alpha pack—which somehow ended with Kali trying to give Derek her number, and he still doesn’t know how that happened, because he’s the worst alpha ever—says, “You know who’s got really good people instincts?”

Blind Date With A Book

Stiles thought the Blind Date With a Book trend was a great way to drum up business for his small bookshop. He definitely thought it was a great idea after the hot guy kept returning and buying more blind dates with books.

Derek didn’t know how he kept getting set up on blind dates by his family, or why he kept going on them. The highlight of his night was when the date was over and he could go to the little bookshop in town and buy something to read for the rest of the night. He wanted to read, not date.

the banana bread incident

“Is this a plastic spoon?” Stiles demands in disgust. “You do realise that there’s actual cutlery in the kitchen, right? I’m surrounded by morons who don’t know how to use a kitchen.”

“I know how to use a kitchen,” Derek protests lazily. “It’s just that all the other spoons were dirty.”

“There’s this revolutionary new invention,” Stiles says, widening his eyes in mock-amazement. “It’s called a sink.”

In which there are tiny pink shorts, a kissing gate, a cat called Pumpkin and a plethora of awkward moments.

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

A Cunning Plan

Stiles has a plan to get Lydia Martin to notice him. Derek is not impressed.

Strut on a Line, its Discord and Rhyme

“Carry me,” Stiles says.

“No.”

“But I’m injured.”

“You have a rash,” Derek says. “On your arm. Your feet work just fine.”

“Please?”

“No. You weigh almost as much as I do. And you ate a pound of chicken at lunch.”

“Well, yeah, but I pooped like an hour ago, so.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Don’t play, you love me.”

I do, Derek thinks, relatively horrified. I really do.

Jerk of Art 

The worst thing, ever, is being uninspired. There is literally nothing worse than putting a pencil to paper and having nothing come out. So, of course, when Stiles’ visual arts professor instructs the class to sketch someone as detailed as they possibly can, and Stiles pulls up a blank on people to draw, he wants to punch himself in the face.  

Safety In Silence

It’s perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn’t want to be Derek’s soulmate. 

Every Step You Take

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

Hemingway Can Suck It

“For those of you who just transferred into this class or simply decided that day one wasn’t important enough to attend, I’m Professor Hale. Welcome to English 346, The American Novel.”

Stiles is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open right now and that his eyes are wide with shock, because holy fuck, he thinks he knows why his students transferred. Hell, if he was still an undergrad, he probably would have transferred, too.

(Or: In which Stiles is a Biology professor and Derek thinks he’s a student.)

Untamed

Of course, the transfer kid gets mentioned because transfers are rare, but the news isn’t that exciting. In fact, according to Laura, no one even seems to know his first name. The only thing anyone has really figured out about him is that he’s American. And that’s not exactly hard because he obviously has an accent.

The only thing Derek really knows is that, despite other reports, he seems quiet enough, prefers to work alone, and has the most amazing shade of amber eyes that Derek has ever seen.

Not that he’s looking. Obviously.

OR: A Harry Potter AU where Stiles is a Slytherin transfer student and Derek is the grumpy Gryffindor who falls in love with him.

There are also potions, elves, and falcons involved. Oh, and illegal use of magic. Obviously.

Midnight Wolf vs Abominable Snowman!

Derek almost makes the mistake of saying, It’s not fanart, but he manages to catch himself, biting his tongue. This stranger, who’s already identified himself as at least a casual fan of Midnight Wolf, doesn’t need to know that he actually is the artist and author, not just another fan.

headlong (I’m falling in a)

Kink meme fill: When Stiles goes to college, for some reason, he has to share an apartment with Derek, which sucks, because Derek still hates him the most. They fall in love.

Binomial Coefficients

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

Patterns of Intention

Derek looked like the stuff of his deepest fantasies. His shirt was rumpled where Stiles had his hands in it, and he was breathing hard as well, chest heaving. His eyes—his eyes were glazed over and he looked stunned, like he’d been—like Stiles had—

“No,” Stiles said, blood draining from his face. The word was croaky and felt like it had to be wrenched out of his chest. “God, no.”

Insane Chemistry (with Derek Hale)

Derek is the popular, varsity jock, prom king of the school, and Stiles is not going to be the cliche that ends up falling for him. (It’s not a cliche if no one else knows about it, right?)

Not Your Disney Romance

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack’s alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

Five Times the Sheriff Found Derek Hale in His Son’s Bedroom

There’s a pattern Sheriff Stilinski just can’t ignore.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

“Derek,” Stiles groans. “You have me. You’ve always had me, you absolute moron, how many physically impossible feats of life-saving heroics do I have to perform before you get it?”

There’s so many more I want to rec, but I think these are enough for now!

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

The Bestiary: Coconut Octopus

Disclaimer: This article, while founded in scientific fact, contains conscious exaggerations for the sake of comedy. Do not take it seriously. List of sources included at the end.

Hello again you beautiful fuckers! The dread claws of higher educations have passed over me for the time being, which means two things: Jewish celebrations involving matzo and new articles. (Mostly just new articles because Passover is not actually in the winter, but I couldn’t pass that pun opportunity over. Oops, I did it again.)

And how better to celebrate surviving my first midterms than writing about the objectively best sea animals: octopuses?

Yes, there is an objective list of sea animals from best to worst. Yes, it’s scientific. Yes, octopuses are at the top. Trust me, I’m a scientist.

Let’s be honest here for a moment: octopuses fucking rock. They come equipped with eight tentacular arms tipped with powerful suckers that help them adhere to any surface or prey item, they can change colors in ways that give chameleons a run for their money, they spew ink into your face when you get too tiresome, and they have fucking chitinous beaks in place of mouths. Not bad for something so closely related to garden snails. But coolest of all is their intelligence: if sea life was a superhero comic, the octopus would be the evil genius. They have great big honking brains packed into their non-existent skulls, capable of operative learning, problem-solving and even exhibiting personality; but even better than that is the fact that their arms each come pre-packaged with their own sub-brain - all invertebrates have ganglia distributed at each major body part but with octopuses these knots of nerve tissue inflate into much more complex structures, that among other things give each arm its own separate “personality” - one arm might be more aggressive, the other more curious, the third more cautious, etc.

Octopuses are an outlier - there are some molluscs that don’t even fucking have heads, and these guys come out of the blue and start being laughably intelligent. They probably got shoved into the locker by the snails all the time, like the fucking nerds they were.

Now let’s stop for a moment and consider what’s the finest and most clear-cut imaginable example of intelligence. No, it’s not art. No, it’s not Tumblr. No, it’s definitely not Superbowl.

Instead, it is tool use. The capability to utilize something that is useless or even holding you back until the perfect moment it is needed. Just like Aquaman.

I think you already know where I’m going with this. That “where” being, of course, that octopuses are genius enough to figure out tool use, because of fucking course they would. However, only one known species has achieved this first feat towards conquering human civilization so far, that being the magnificent coconut octopus.

Yo.

Amphioctopus marginatus, also known as the veined octopus, is an excessively pretty and decorative, but vicious creature, somewhat resembling a magical girl in that respect, except magical girls usually don’t have sucker-tipped tentacles or chitinous beaks, but I digress (then again, its webbed tentacles lined with colorful suckers do give off the impression of a frilly skirt). It is a tropical littoral octopus, meaning it lives in shallow water near the shoreline in equatorial waters where it’s hot and damp as fuck. It most often occurs in China and Indonesia, and leads a benthic lifestyle, meaning it’s too much of a lazy ass to swim, preferring to move around on the sea floor instead. Generally it’s a well-rounded, ordinary tropical Pacific octopus with a pleasing color scheme and ridiculously specific needs for survival... OR IS IT??? *dramatic chord*

As it turns out, it is most definitely not. In a sense, it’s the most special octopus ever. Just like Batman, during the day it’s an ordinary cephalopod of wealth and taste, but at night, it is the protector of... well, itself in this case, but just like Batman it achieves this goal using its pricey toys. In Batman’s case, it’s shit like the Batmobile, Batarangs or the utility belt, but the coconut octopus resorts to a much easier kind of tool: coconut shells.

To the Batcave!

When you think about it, coconut shells are some of the best tools for protection, provided you’re small and squishy and betentacled enough. They are hard, thick half-spheres that come in pairs and few things can ever break through them thanks to their high resistance to breaking and shattering force. Of course they can’t stand a chance against, say, a predatory fish thirty times your size with giant jagged teeth, but if one of those takes a fancy to you then you’re fucked anyway, whatever you do, so in the meantime coconut shells offer good defense against anything that you could reasonably defend yourself from.

Here’s how it goes: the octopus crawls around on the seafloor, idly just looking around for a suitable pair of half-spheres to inhabit. When it comes across such an object, it scampers over to it, dives in and fastens the base of its tentacles all over the two half-shells and starts just awkwardly carrying them around. According to the wonderful scientists researching them, it actually hinders their movement quite a bit, as they have to “stilt-walk” on their arms with the half-shells tucked underneath the tentacles, making them look like they are carrying the biggest pair of balls around.

However, when danger draws near, the octopus simply snaps the shells shut, transforming them from handy-dandy ballsack-holders to something not unlike a Morph Ball.

A coconut octopus will often utilize these Morph Balls when exploring some sort of no man’s land that doesn’t hold many possible shelters, letting them sphere up immediately if danger draws near. Try to open me up now, fucker.

“But Admin”, I hear you say, “How does an octopus, even one living in shallow water, acquire a steady source of coconut shells?”

The answer, of course, is humans. Lots and lots of humans who settle by the coconut octopus’ habitat, climb up trees, eat coconuts and throw the shells into the ocean. The octopus jumps on the opportunity like the shells are filled to the brim with cocaine.

Of course, it’s unlikely the octopus evolved such a complex behavior just in the little time humans were there, especially considering that the Metroid franchise didn’t exist yet, so it needed another source of inspiration. That source, say the scientists, might have been sea shells, which also occur in high density around the parts where this guy lives, and indeed they have been seen using sea shells for the same morph ball reasons, making them look like a slimier, less spine-possessing version of the Birth of Venus.

Try me, I’m the most fabulous motherfucker around these parts

To make this little scamp even better, even its way of locomotion is hilarious. You know that little meme octopus that NOPEs out of here whenever you feel it’s an adequate use for a reaction image? That’s, in fact, a coconut octopus. Observe:

That motion is as useful to the coconut octopus as laughable it looks from the outside. by this weird-ass walking movement, the octopus can mimic a floating coconut, approximating the object of its obsession even closer. This offers it the coconut’s protection even when it doesn’t have one, because really, who would want to bite into a hard floating hairy ball? (Aside from coconut crabs of course, but once again, if one of those wants to eat you you’re already fucked beyond belief and no tricks will help you.)

However, don’t confuse the coconut octopus’ arsenal of defensive tricks for peaceful nature or anything like that. This guy is vicious, and hunts for a living. Those coconut and sea shells don’t just acts as ballsacks and protective morph balls, they also allow the octopus to lie in wait.

Oh yes, in case you forgot, pretty much all octopuses are predators, and all of them are venomous. This guy isn’t an exception either, and to make it better it uses its coconut shells as aids in its hunt.

This is how it goes: the octopus chooses a promising hunting spot, sets up shop inside its coconut shell, and waits patiently, until something suicidally dumb enough comes along. Then it puffs up its mantle, using the water suction to quite literally launch itself out of the coconut and strike the suicidally dumb thing from above like a betentacled incarnation of rage.

That fucker crab didn’t even see it coming. That’s what you get for being a dumb crab and not a tactical genius like the coconut octopus, I guess.

The suicidally dumb thing is then engulfed by the octopus’ arms, and then injected with paralyzing venom and digestive enzymes in rapid succession, allowing the octopus to suck out its liquefied insides spider-style.

Here you suckers thought this guy was just adorable coconut tricks and Ministry of Silly Walks. But no, they are actually quite ruthless and calculating hunters - both clownish and deadly, which is already the norm over here at the Terrible Tentacle Theatre.

Sources

Encyclopedia of Life

Smithsonian Institution

Wikipedia

[cancerousminds]

2, 8, 11, 16, 17, 24, 28, 29, 32, 33, 46, 52, 56, 58, 65 :-), 83, 87, 90, 99, 100

2 - do you like the feeling of the cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?actually yes, I love it. I think its so refreshing idk.8 - what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?I'm not very artistic 😬 it's primarily writing I guess, and I listen to a lot of music. I used to draw but I've recently fallen out of the habit.11 - what's an inner joke you have with your friends?just all typos. we remember them forever. some of my other favorites include "hmm. that's unfortunate" ((reppin' you, trinity k. bonet)) and "I've never smoked only tobocco." long story. not to mention, "what if there was a monkey." whoo, that's waaayy back.16 - what's your favorite pasta dish?I really freakin love alfredo. god. 17 - what color do you really want to die your hair?I just continuously dye it black, nothing else. I've never done anything drastic and I don't long to, I'm pretty happy with black. I guess I've always wanted to pull off that instagram grey aesthetic. maybe in a different lifetime, I'm too scared to bleach my hair because it's never gone well in the past.24 - is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?nope. not a single person. the closest that comes to mind is this one random loser friend I have, her name is Norma, just because she's the one person in my life who I genuinely believe wouldn't judge me for the all the mistakes I've made and has always been willing to listen. I love her with all my heart ❤️✨28 - sunrise or sunset?sunsets!! they seem overall far prettier, but I think getting up early with a few friends to go hike somewhere and catch the sunrise is one of the coolest things to do ever.29 - what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?that loser friend I mentioned earlier has this weird thing about talking about her problems and feelings. like she wants to let them out, she's just scared to sometimes, so she'll rush and pack it all into one huge message and then send another one saying "anyway" and nothing else. she's like purging her thoughts haha and immediately tries to change the subject without discussing it or hearing any kind of consolation or advice, it's adorable THOUGH I WISH SHE WOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE AND CONFIDENT DISCUSSING SUCH MATTERS, it's too much to ask in this lifetime.32 - tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3 am when you were with your friends?"pull the trigger, Billy." that's all you need to know. also, it was in a child's playroom that we weren't allowed to be in, two new years ago, and Billy is not a human. Billy is a wooden snake. my friends are losers.33 - what's your favorite pastry?anything bready and flakey. croissants genuinely make me wet.46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of?that stupid chicken road one. I hate it. I only just figured out like a month ago that it's a suicide joke? WHAT THE FUCK? did any of you guys know that?52 - what are your favorite memes of the year so far?I'm really digging the student athlete memes because all the soccer players at my college fit the stereotype perfectly and that is not an exaggeration, they are their own caricature.56 - what are some of the things you find endearing in people?people who needlessly extend themselves without words. idk how to explain it. when people don't know how to comfort you and instead give you a little pat on the knee or an awkward hug. they just want to help but they're too awkward to know how BUT THEY STILL TRY. it's the sweetest thing.58 - who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends and why?my friend Sierra is for sure the wine mom. she goes to bed at like nine and her relationship stresses her out and she doesn't realize how better off she could have it. she's precious and I love her. I don't know any vodka aunts really, I don't have a wacky group of friends. the craziest thing we do is sit alone in my room and smoke weed and talk about chicken nuggets and David Bowie, are you catching my drift ((I've said it before and I'll say it again, we're losers)).65 - is there anyone you haven't seen in a long while that you would love to hang out with?I literally can't think of anyone who I want to see again. nobody at all. JK NORMA YOU CHEEKY CUNT, I miss you with all of my heart and I wishwishwish you could visit in April 😍😭😭 it would make my year; nay, my LIFETIME.83 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?yes omg, I'm an obsessive little shit. all my Stephen King books have their own shelf and all my CD's are organized alphabetically by band name, and then album release year. 87 - what are some movies you think people should watch at least once in their lives?Donnie Darko!! and Fight Club... idk I'm not a big movie buff.90 - talk about one of your favorite cities.Seattle is the best fucking city on Earth. not only is it my hometown, but it's so liberal and accepting and the underground art movements have changed history. it's where the riot grrrl movement started, it's the birthplace of grunge music. most all of my favorite bands and artists came out of there: Alice in chains, soundgarden, pearl jam, modest mouse, Jimi Hendrix, etc. plus it has the perfect weather and an amazing, hard-hitting paper ((the Seattle times)) which I adore and would kill to be a part of. ugh. it's just the perfect city.99 - list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.no excuses and don't follow, both by Alice in chains; lives and perfect disguise, both by modest mouse; run by daughter. that's it I think, idk.100 - if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go five years into the past and one five years into the future, which button would you press and why?oh shit, I hate this type of question. it depends, really. is this, like, going five years ahead/back and living from that point on or just taking a lil peak at what's happening? is it having a quick discussion or giving/receiving advice from your past and/or future self? the last one makes the most sense but FUCK whichever button you pick displaces five years in both directions. I mean, like, say you pick into the future. but then you also consciously picked five years back because on the same timeline, just at a different period in your life, you are having a discussion with yourself from five years past. and vice versa, if you picked five years back then you, the same person and version of yourself, just at a different time, is talking with a you five years forward. it's pointless, the choice is irrelevant. it's just displacing five years. idk, does this make sense? maybe I'm thinking about it too much. never mind lol idc five years past I guess, but just a peak, I don't want to fuck with shit.