#paladin's dad jokes

[sassenashsworld]

Deacon : Why did the penguin cross the road twice?

Danse : I don’t understand what a penguin can be… could you explain to me the characteristics that define this term?

Deacon : HEY Nick! Why did the penguin cross the road twice?

Nick : I don't listen

Deacon : To prove it's not a chicken!

Nick :

Danse : But Deacon, what is a pinguin and a... chicken?

Nick : Trust me, Danse, ignore this guy, it’s better for everyone

Danse : But what is a pinguin? And a chicken?

Nick : Scales to measure Deacon’s brain

Deacon : Ouch...

[space-invading-pigeon]

Steve makes lunches for everyone, but he's one of those people who has a theme for every single lunch.

Dustin gets cute little sandwiches that have been carefully made to look like computers, cookies shaped like walkie talkies, and juice bottles that are decorated with the scientific equations.

Max gets grilled cheese cut into skateboards, a fruit salad packed into a little California-shaped box, a snack cake that has a cute little cake Steve decorated to look like that game in the arcade she refuses to let anyone beat her high score in, and she always gets a little note telling her she's amazing and "please don't beat anyone up today."

Will gets lasagna carefully cut to look like a dragon, charcuterie, and cookies that are shaped like lightning bolts. Steve used to include a drink, but then Jonathan mentioned that Will's favorite thing is chocolate milk so now he just packs some money to buy it cold from the lunchroom; he's the only member of the Party that gets a lunch AND lunch money.

Mike refuses to let Steve pack his lunch, but he doesn't complain when Steve packs him snacks for the day. Steve always packs his favorites, labels them with the name "Paladin Shithead," and sometimes hides some small candies in Mike's backpack.

Lucas gets two lunchboxes, but only because Steve is overprotective. There were times in high school where Steve passed out after practice because no one ever thought to offer him a snack, and Lucas was the most active BEFORE he joined the team. All of his food is curated to be sure he's getting as much energy as possible without making him sluggish and bloated. If Steve makes them look like jerseys, basketballs, tennis shoes, and baskets, that's no one's business but Lucas's.

Robin gets a lot of food that's been made to look musical, like ice cream, or, her favorite, like ears. She thinks it's hilarious that her little comment in Starcourt about her ears being geniuses stuck with Steve, especially now that she knows how difficult it is for Steve to remember anything (his concussions have not been kind to him).

Nancy and Jonathan both get simple lunches, everything looks normal, but their desserts are always decorated with guns and a heart with N+J in the center. Steve never really figured out how to act around the two of them when there isn't a crisis, but he loves both of them and keeps them well-fed until they go off to college.

Joyce gets a lunch delivered every morning, packed with healthy foods and labelled "For my real mom." It makes her tear up every single day, and she usually repays Steve by sending home the lunchbox full of copies of Byers family recipes, "for my darling son." They don't mention it to anyone else, but Steve makes sure to try each and every recipe even though he adds them to his own recipe box anyway.

Hopper gets a lunch full of little police stars, and his sandwich is shaped like himself, mustache and all. The first time Steve did this, he left the lunch on Hop's desk at the station with a note that just says "To Dad," because Hop has called Steve his son almost exclusively since 1984. The sentiment makes him go all misty-eyed, and because one of his deputies dared to mention it, the entire station knows not to bring up Hop's son as any sort of joke again.

Eleven's lunches are full of sweet foods. Honey ham, candied nuts, any new dessert recipes that Steve wants to try, they all go in her box. She gets normal, healthy food too, but she'll only eat it because Steve makes them look like waffles. (She likes being able to eat anything, post-Lab, but Steve dotes on her like she's the baby sister he never got to have) Her favorite thing, though, is the notes he packs for her, telling her that she is always going to be his hero and he's proud of her for pushing through school.

Eddie claims he gets the best lunch: hand delivered by Steve every day, full of hearty food to both help him heal up and put on some weight (Steve was appalled when he realized he could count almost all of Eddie's ribs, because of course Eddie is hypoglycemic). His desserts are always bat-shaped, both the animal and Steve's signature weapon, and Steve usually leaves a post-it note with nothing but a heart in the box. Eddie has collected every single one, he keeps them in a drawer.

Erica's lunch looks like she has a personal chef, each one with her initials on the entree. She boasts to anyone who is in earshot that her babysitter made it for her, and that he's the best cook in the whole state; as a result Steve's been signed up for every bake sale, auction, and school dance at the middle and high school.

[punkitt-is-here]

Hi this is moss “moss” moss from the punkitt pronoun reveal!! I was NOT fucking joking about how incredible mason’s memes for our d&d campaign are. You WISH you had her!!!! (NO Strahd spoilers we aren’t done yet) (also you were all very nice and I love u guys. The Moss D&D Class Reveal is tabaxi artificer (except he’s just a ‘normal’ housecat))

HEHEHEH I'm so happy to share these, the cats name is Pepper and we all love Pepper. I play a paladin dad named Pat who's a big dummy sweetheart who's trying out adventuring after his daughter went to college.

[pawpunkao3]

Yknow what since we're doing discourse on Irredeemable Teens I wanna share with yall some thoughts on Penelope Everpetal

Penelope is a wild magic sorcerer. It seems so random. With a name like Everpetal, wouldn't you expect her to have something more elegant, like divine soul sorcery? Storm sorcery, like her best friend Sam? Hell, even draconic sorcery has a certain villainous finesse to it, especially considering that she's working with a dragon. But instead, she gets wild magic. The subclass that new players get told to avoid because half of its features nerf your character. The subclass that has a 0.1% chance of killing you and everyone in a 20ft radius every time you cast a spell.

People like to joke that sorcerers don't work for their magic---I mean, they call the sorcery teacher "just a guy who hangs out with students and talks about how cool their powers are". But that's ignoring the other side of magic---not power, but control. While wizards and bards fought to learn to cast even basic spells, Penelope struggled to reel in her magic. It was a battle that nobody saw, and when she lost it, it would end up humiliating at best, and devastating at worst. Combine that with the fact that she seems spoiled and entitled---maybe the type of person to believe being born with magic made her better than other casters---and it's easy to see the conflict. Her sorcery should have made her glamorous, desirable. Instead, it only burdened her.

Maybe that's why Kalvaxus picked her as his future prom queen.

I imagine he found her in her freshman year. She'd had a surge in class and grown a big beard of blue feathers---not cute. Not pretty. Humiliating. So there she was, behind the school, sobbing and tearing them out in big bloody fistfuls and muttering about how she was going to kill everyone who ever laughed at her because she was the best most powerful sorceress ever, and, well. Kalvaxus normally wouldn't care about some idiot student being sad, but something about her fury intrigued him. It seemed...exploitable.

So he blew a puff of smoke her way and made her sneeze the rest of the feathers out. Told her she was right---she WAS better for being a sorceress, and it wasn't fair that people made fun of her for something she couldn't control. Penelope wouldn't have noticed the contradiction. She was only fourteen, and more than a little dehydrated. All she wanted was for someone to hear her problems and not laugh, and he did just that.

And so Vice Principal Goldenhoard became her special friend (don't tell mom and dad---they wouldn't understand that he really was just her friend, you know SOME teachers would be using her confidence for nefarious purposes. Not him, though. Never him). If she had a bad surge and Sam was busy, he would even let her eat lunch in his office. He made a confession: he wasn't a dragonborn. He was a true dragon, kept in this form by a wicked curse. She agreed that Aguefort was evil for trapping him. He should be principal, really. Maybe (when he suggested it) he should even rule the world.

As Penelope grew older, she and Kalvaxus made an agreement---she would help him rise to power, and he would make sure nobody mocked her and her friends ever again. He introduced her to some new friends---one of the paladin students, a party girl from Hudol, a warlock with a cool car. She started campaigning for prom queen. But there was one little thing: for the plan to work, he needed sacrifices. Nobody important---that stuck-up nerd from the library, the cringy horse girl who made everyone so embarrassed (she forgot how bad it felt to be in her place whenever she surged), a bossy jock. Kalvaxus had her pick out the next one---an annoying activist type, someone nobody really liked, someone who she might even be able to convince to give up her life for the "greater good". Kalvaxus was so proud. They took that brash cleric without a hitch, but it was harder to get her to budge on her best friend. Suddenly her good friend Kalvaxus turned scary---she couldn't back out now. She'd already helped kidnap five girls. Did she want him to turn her in? Besides, when she was queen, everyone would want to be her friend. Who is she to question him when he tells her to sacrifice this one?

Penelope didn't protest when Kalvaxus picked a random freshman as the last sacrifice. She'd already done the worst thing anyone could do.

By the time the Bad Kids charged into that gym, she was too far gone. She'd steeped too long in Kalvaxus's lies for the stain to come out. She genuinely believed that being herself gave her the right to be queen. She'd sacrificed so much for it, after all. Maybe eventually she realized she wasn't going to win. But hey, she came this far. Might as well go down swinging.

[godsandvillains-if]

Not sure if you've answered this before and if so I'm fine with trying to find it: what personality types draw the ROs in the most. Like maybe someone is a bit more into a flirty MC, maybe someone likes a MC who's prickly and hard to bond with but easily flustered/embarrassed when pursued, etc.

Largely I'm curious to see what dynamics we might be able to play with! All of the characters so far sound very intriguing route wise!

Ohh, I didn't answer this before so it's totally fine 🤗

First I want to say that the RO's preferences don't really influence any romance stats, is purely for immersion and flavor, alright? You are free to choose what better fits your character.

Archon — I think Archon prefers a more teasing and charming MC, because they are rarely able to do that when it counts lol. But in bed they prefer a sub or easily flustered MC.

Stardom — Stardom goes atomic with an easily flustered MC, it's like a drug honestly, but they also enjoy a MC that is able to tease them back or just outright calls them stupid, basically keeping them on their toes.

Zodiac — If you find dad jokes entertaining and/or even charming then you are in luck. Zodiac is one of those people that tries their best to flirt, but they are actually so terrible at it that it is extremely cute. They enjoy a charming and flirty MC.

Ace — I think Ace is just happy to have someone giving them attention tbh, but they would enjoy a more charming and overly flirty MC. They won't feel as pressured to seem cool.

Wildcat — Wildcat is able to adapt to any situation. With an overly charming MC, like Stardom, they will be embarrassed easier and vice-versa. So they don't really have a preference.

Mars — Mars is more of a suave type of person when it comes to flirting with the MC, like your typical bond villain. And they will be amused with an easily flustered and exasperated with a charming / flirty MC.

Paladin — Paladin is your silent and stoic type so don't expect them to show many emotions when the MC flirts with them, but they secretly prefer a suave or charming MC.

Thank you for the question!! 🥰

[mimiri22-6]

Ok guys, I'm gonna say something controversial so buckle up

Adam = Keith

Shiro = Lance

I take no criticism but I will take comments and questions.

I spent an actual hour writing in the tags. Holy shit I did Not mean for that to happen O_O

I can connect SO many parallels between Lance and Shiro, but I can't connect that many parallels between Shiro and Keith. Personality wize. Sorry, I just really wanted to make this because holy shit idk how it happened but I could have sworn this was universal and then they killed Adam and then everyone started making Adam the jokester between him and Shiro. Like, with what little screentime Adam got I could have sworn, I don't think he smiles. Like, that is not the Lance parallel between klance and shadam (i don't remember their ship name) this is just how it is. I could have sworn Shiro was the type of leader/person that could crack a joke, a dad joke, and lift the crew's spirits just by entering the room. Keith had to pull his own teeth to even get a motivating speech out. Yes yes it was his first time leading, but who was leading Keith through his blind anger episodes? Lance. The right hand man. The leader behind the leader. Lance was the Leader in the first fucking episode at the Garrison!!

☝️AND another point I just remembered, Shiro was the heart of the team before he 'died' he was the bridge for Keith, Pidge and Allura into the team. After he's gone, Lance is the bridge for the Entire team. The glue. The Heart of Voltron. He has a connection with every crew member. Maybe the least with Allura but he was constantly ready to be open with her. His door was open to her to have deeper conversations as shown in that one scene where she identifies his bayard as an altean broadsword. Keith? He left the team for a really long time, especially on his end. 'Keith what is Pidge's favorite band/food/color???'😳🤨🤔🤷 There's a reason there are So many fanfics of Lance leaving/getting kidnapped/dying and the crew falling apart. Sometimes not to the point of total collapse but enough for a noticeable strain stiffness and loose seams.

Like when Shiro vanished.

*sigh* this post started because i remembered the era of black paladin Lance and come across a tiktok along the lines of 'lancestans: he should have been the black paladin. hes a punching bag for the creators. hes a sad boi. he had so much set up. ect. (so on and so forth. I forget the rest) *cut to shiro* what about him, the real tortured, punching bag for the writers?' and I gotta be honest, that tiktok set this whole thang off.

I could go On and On And On! I have so many more examples, but I don't have the time for a 30pg essay rn. PLEASE ask me about my Lance and Shiro parallels/black paladin Lance reasonings! I wanna ramble about my boi touching the stars! 🤩

(also I get it w Keith, sometimes a leader is someone that learns to be one before they even want to be one, but also 1)Lance has wanted this forever 2)Lance is already close with everyone, he's an extrovert(not that introverts can't be leaders, I'm an introvert and I know all about introvert leaders) 3)Lance and Shiro get hurt the most, but still have that calming effect, wether you wanna admit it or not, Lance has those vibes)

[ria-777]

There is not enough letters in the alphabet for me to tell you how much I love you

A - Affection

It was so unexpected.

Maybe it wouldn't have been if he questioned himself sooner, but feelings were never his field of expertise.

One morning, like any others, she sat down next to him for breakfast, like she did for every meal of the day and greeted him with a simple, "Good morning Keith," accompanied by a gentle and tired smile.

He always thought it was pretty cute, but she probably wouldn't appreciate the comment. He responded kindly.

Like usual.

Nothing less. Nothing more.

So why the heck did his heart skip a beat like that? Sure, sometimes he worried his cheeks might turn red, but today, it was like a truck hit him and then reversed to be positive he was as crushed as an ant.

Since he was young, Keith always doubted that one day, he'd find his person and instantly know it. There wouldn't be fireworks all around them while the world disappeared and everything became blurred except for them. Careless whispers wouldn't start playing out of nowhere. No one would be able to see his heart beat fast, as if it was trying to pierce through the skin of his chest in a comic way, making a loud sound. His pupils wouldn't take the form of hearts as he stared lovingly at this amazing girl while hers did the same.

That was ridiculous.

She just began eating what Hunk cooked, for once choosing to participate in the conversation while he panicked inside, hoping it wasn't showing too much. That would be embarrassing and the boy wasn't sure he could play it off at the moment.

What were you supposed to do in those kinds of situations?

Act like everything was normal? It sounded nearly impossible, coming from one of the guys who fights aliens every day and had been on the verge of death more than once.

Be nicer than usual? How did he typically behave? Why couldn't he remember their past interactions without noticing how pretty she always looked? Too many questions.

Grab her hand under the table? No way, he'd freak her out. That was like the opposite of acting casually.

Ask Shiro for advice? No, he wanted to figure this out on his own.

Prepare some kind of stunning declaration of his undying love? This was way out of character for him and not the type of things she seemed to be into.

No. No. No.

None of these were good enough ideas. Despite how hard the first one appeared unimaginable to accomplish, it was the best option. For now.

Keith had no idea if he could pretend he was careless of everything while Pidge sat next to him, unaware of the chaos she caused in his brain.

Where could that kind of affection have come from?

Of course he found himself fond of their other teammates for some time now, more than he thought possible when he first met them on that fateful night. Even if he still had some trouble voicing it out.

This was probably why the blue paladin liked to call him emotionally constipated.

Actions were how he did things, how he showed he cared.

Shiro had been his favorite person since the day they met, being the first to actually pay attention to him since his dad tragically passed away.

Hunk was a nice guy to talk to, understanding that it wasn't because the red paladin stayed mostly silent that the conversation didn't interest him. He liked their discussions, so much that just listening was honestly enjoyable and didn't make him uncomfortable in any way.

Even if Lance could still be obnoxious and get on his nerves from time to time, it was bearable, more than he was willing to admit. Some of his jokes were actually a bit funny too, a secret Keith was prepared to take to the grave, not even the Galra could force this kind of information out of him.

Allura, ever since finding out he was part Galra and had a pretty bad reaction to that news, they were getting along quite well. She was kinda like a big sister, caring, but knew how to be bossy and annoy him.

And then, there was Coran who was... well, Coran. There were honestly no better words to describe him. When they were back on earth, they should try making his name an adjective, or at least a type of person that fitted his... special character.

However, his feelings toward Pidge were way out of... of what?

What should be acceptable?

His competences? Hers? Theirs?

He wasn't about to give up because of something foreign to him. If he did so, God knows that being a paladin of Voltron, who consistently had to face new kinds of dangers and environment would be impossible.

Keith had realized some time ago that she had an effect on him, but only now, as she observed him waiting for an answer, all of their eyes were on him. Someone had probably asked a question while they were all still sitting around the table for breakfast. "Sorry, can you repeat, I wasn't paying attention?”

Was her face a bit red? "I was just wondering if you were okay. You barely said anything since you sat down and were just staring." Oh, had it been that long already Keith thought, realizing all of their plates were close to being empty. Maybe they were all just very hungry and ate in five ticks?

"I'm fine, just tired." She simply nodded, avoiding looking him directly in the eyes. "Suuuure, that's why you were gazing at Pidgeon there for the entire meal, 'cause you were exhausted, noooooo other reasons at all." That's why he refused to admit Lance didn't piss him off all the time. He still knew how to pull his strings and ruin the mood.

"Lance, leave him alone." Keith didn't have to look at Shiro to know he was thinking like the Cuban, his tone of voice said it all. Not like he cared right now.

All he could ponder about was how he was going to make Katie "Pidge" Holt his. One way or another. No matter the effort it would take.

(Posted on ao3 and wattpad)

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

I've this kinda weird kinda niche headcannon that Zevlor can actually sing pretty well. I mean, kinda makes sense with him being a Hellrider - between the worksongs used to help keep rythm during menial tasks (like, say, marching) and the prayer hymns to Helm, he'd probably pick up some experience in sining here and there. Thing is, it's all related to the heppier times when he was still a Hellrider - so when the tieflings are exiled he just stops engaging with that part of himself. After all he's not a paladin anymore, he doesn't have the right to sing all the songs he knows by heart anymore. Not after the descent.

But the thing is that he's been doing this for so long - idly humming some half-rememberd drinking song while sharpening his weapon, walking to the rythm of a dozen voices working in unison that at this point he does it subconciously. So despite how hard he may try it does slip out a bit, here and there.

So I'd love to hear your take on Tav (not neccessarily a bard but it would be cool!) and the other tief refugees (I'm a sucker for dad zevlor) reacting to the old man having a good singing voice!!!! <3

Tav!bard would try to get him to sing with them and Alfira constantly

eventually he does cave while they're all drinking and he's beaming the whole time, especially after when Tav wraps him in a hug and tells him his voice is heavenly (his tail may be swishing rapidly)

the youngsters always ask for traveling songs while on the road, because if Zevlor starts singing everyone joins in. It makes him feel like a paladin - a protector and guider of his people - more when he sings

he even smiles more

Bard!Tav definitely encourages him to sing more, getting him to laugh when he finishes singing, rather than sulking at the memory of happier times

with a gentle kiss to his cheek every time they encourage him to slowly come out of his shell

Tilses and any other former Hellriders would 100% be happy to hear him sing again, and may even join in, because they remember him belting out tunes in the halls and leading them in prayer hymns back in Elturel

there was an ongoing joke he should have been a bard instead of a paladin once upon a time

He also knows some old tiefling songs, including a very significant song that tieflings would sing to court one another. He's not sure Tav knows this song, but at the party it's worth a shot. he's just drunk enough to get Alfira to play it and to not comment on her knowing look

much to his amazement Tav knows it as well, joining him in song with a radiant smile on their face that makes his heart skip and him fumble through a few words

for a moment, nothing else matters but the two of them, as a few other tieflings join in, encouraging the pair on with a mixture of relief and joy

[gothiethefairy]

so, after watching the movie, my first thoughts were "edgin and xenk should've kissed and adopted a baby together to raise so kira can have a sibling."

so i decided to plop an orphan tabaxi cub into xenk's arms. xenk was close by where edgin, holga and kira lives so decides to stop there bc xenk may be "mr. perfect paladin" but he's not too knowledgeable about taking care of a baby. edgin is reluctant at first but he does have a soft spot for kids, especially babies so he lets xenk into their home.

- xenk was at first planning on taking the orphan to an orphanage, similar to the one he stayed at when he was a child. (kinda like a church) edgin wasn't on board with the idea, pushing xenk to take the baby in. ("but i travel a lot. i am not fit to raise a child." "yeah, neither was i! it's fine, the kid can stay here! you can stay here!" -cue awkward silence-)

- the tabaxi cub is a lot smaller than your average cub, and xenk suspects because the baby is a runt. the only item the child has is a bracelet with the markings of trees on it.

- when kira asked for the baby's name, xenk said they did not have one so they were brainstorming ideas. holga took one look at the cub and said "looks like a gary to me." so the name stuck. (xenk wasn't too keen the name, trying to be respectful of the tabaxi culture. edgin added "of the woods" to the name to please xenk. so the cub's name is gary of the woods.)

- our running joke with this au is that the baby is small, but when they grow up, ends up being the tallest of the whole bunch. holga still calls gary "little bit" tho.

- edgin is stubborn about it, but helping xenk take care of a baby is making him fall for the guy. xenk has always found edgin to be interesting, but he too is falling for edgin bc edgin treats him like a normal person and is actually a good father, even if edgin doesn't believe it himself half of the time. it's all very slow-burn. (one particular scenario i have is edgin encouraging xenk to sing a lullaby to little gary, who is crying. xenk is slow to start but starts singing a thayan lullaby his mother used to sing. it calms the baby down and it actually makes xenk emotional. edgin is all, heart in his eyes bc this was the most he's ever seen xenk emote and also wtf, this guy has a voice of an angel.)

- gary when he's older: this is my papa, xenk. and my dad, edgin. and my auntie holga. and my big sister, kira. and my other auntie doric. and that's simon!! (´∀`) he's my best friend!! (simon with his hands over his heart, getting all teary eyed)

- gary of the woods looks like this:

[thebetterbrogane]

I’m alive! I promise!

So, a lot happened since Thursday.

Like…. a LOT.

Firstly, I’ve gotten Keith’s blessing to make this information public: he and Lance are officially together.

Secondly, Keith had been enrolled at the east coast Garrison base in New York for the past FOUR YEARS, electing to continue his education and finally, officially, graduate from high school. When he dropped out of the Texas base, it was unofficial, and thus rendered his four years prior void and null in the eyes of the military. Considering that all four paladins got honorary yet still functional diplomas after the war ended, none of them worried about re-enrolling except for Keith. So, you could imagine my surprise when he showed up at the Texas base’s commencement ceremony in full graduation regalia. It was a shock and surprise to everyone, but he made valedictorian and never missed a “day” of school, in terms of online and in-person class hours. I’ve never been more proud of my little brother.

Thirdly, speaking of my little brother… we came to a, quite frankly, surprising discovery this weekend. Keith got diagnosed with a muscle disease like I was. Before you freak out, it’s non-fatal, and he’s adjusting to disabled life perfectly fine. This diagnosis, being the same as mine, was strange. He called me during one of his appointments to corroborate the information he had been giving to his doctor, and the doctor, upon seeing me over FaceTime, mused about how similar we looked for being adopted brothers, before going on to joke about how “maybe [muscle disease] runs in the family!” Keith’s spidey-senses had been triggered, and a week later (day after graduation), we sent in DNA samples.

Keith is my half-brother. My father is Texas (Teiji) Kogane.

So many questions were answered. My mother had never known about Keith’s past, and since Dad left when I was only three, she never cared to think about him much after that. She flew in from Izumisanto on Saturday, and upon meeting Keith in the Dallas airport (for the first time in years, mind you), she burst into tears upon recognizing him. They’ve spent the past two and a half days just talking about Dad, which was mostly just Keith retelling stories from when he was younger. Mom regrets not giving Dad any thought over the past thirty years. I took her and Keith to his grave to reconcile.

Keith and I’s relation doesn’t change the connections we’ve made over the past fifteen years; it only strengthens them, and I’m so happy to finally know the truth. Mom flies back home tomorrow, but in the meantime, I’ll be spending as much quality time with my family as I possibly can. My heart is so happy.

— Shiro ☆

[silentwillowwhisperer]

Krolia

Alright, I just had a thought.

I get that it's a major plot point that Krolia is part of the Blade of Marmora, but what if she was just another soldier?

What if she had been heading to Earth as a Galra soldier, and was shot down by a Blade member?

And then Keith's dad saves her!

So after that, she either decides to change after falling in love with him and realizing that destroying planets is killing innocent people like this man, oooor she continues to fight for the Galra.

If she continued with Galra, then she most likely would reunite with Keith in a battle, or at least see his picture in some battle briefing and be like, oH CRAP THAT'S MY KID.

And then if we continue on this path, then Keith would see her, and she tells him who she is, either mid-battle to throw him off, or to tell him why she won't kill him.

And if she were to do it mid-battle, Keith would be absolutely crushed and either have a character development arc in which he pushes back his feelings of betrayal and hurt and defeats her, or he gets distracted and she manages to injure him.

If Keith defeats her himself, (and this is all during fighting her) then right before she passes out/ dies they would have a moment where either Krolia apologizes, or tells Keith that he was a the best and worst mistake she's ever made, and either way she would tell him that she's proud of him.

If Keith were to get hurt by her, Lance would shoot her down and rush over to Keith. There would be one of those moments where character A is like dying, and character B places character A's head on their lap and like cries while character A is making some heartfelt speech and giving them a bunch of cliché advice, you know?

And then Keith passes out, and the team is there by then to rush him back to the castle and he makes it.

And then he breaks down when the reality of what happened with Krolia hits him.

And he has a moment with one of the paladins, BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM. More than one other paladin ruins the moment, don't ask me why, it just does.

And then if Krolia were to be still alive (This is assuming that the 'I'm proud of you' moment never happened), then she would rise up in ranks until when Zarkon dies, she's the empress. Haggar and Voltron think that she's controlling Krolia, so Haggar is targeted by Voltron and the coalition.

They CANNOT defeat her, no matter what they do, but then Krolia takes her out in order to gain full power of the Galra empire, and everyone's just SHOCKED. Krolia doesn't even do it in secret, this is like a full-on battle and she goes, "Bold of you to assume that you EVER controlled me, Witch. The only one who valued you was Zarkon, and that made him weak."

And then she straight-up stabs Haggar and leaves the battle saying to the paladins, "We've both won this battle. Now go. We all know that you are outnumbered here."

AND THEN instead of the whole Honerva thing, it's them against Krolia.

Keith would most likely be the one to kill her. Or maybe Krolia would have the same ending as Honerva! Though if that were to happen, then Allura can still sacrifice herself.

And throughout this, KLANCE exists. Allurance shippers can BACK OFF. ALLURANCE. NEVER. HAPPENS. AND NO. I am NOT adding Allurance to my computer's dictionary so that it will stop autocorrecting me, because the only ship that belongs in the dictionary is KLANCE.

*deep breaths*

Thank you for reading my Ted Ta- oh who am I kidding, thank you for reading my rant.

-

btw, does anyone else simp for Matt and that robot-masked alien girl??? Like, oh my goodness it is SO CUTE. In the clear day episode, (the one where Shiro wins the arm-wresting competition) the girl is INCLUDED IN THEIR FAMILY PICTURE. NO JOKE. LOOOOK!!!

MATT'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!!

Sorry about that. I live for this kind of stuff.

-

If there's spelling errors, (at least more than usual) then feel free to correct me. I'm typing really aggressively right now, which usually leads to a WHOLE lot of mistakes. So, oops.

[wearepaladin]

I sometimes wonder if paladins enjoy dad humor (like puns) as a result of being team dads (so they grow to enjoy the jokes as a result of their role) or if both their dad humor and their role as team dads stem from a secret different thing

Probably a little bit of all of the above.

[thetavolution]

20 TAV/OC QUESTIONS

More of these!

Please consider yourself tagged if you want to! Feel free to @ me so I can read them.

This time it's Sebastian (Ingrid's little brother, half-deep gnome and half-forest gnome wizard) and Viktor (tiefling paladin, oath of vengence). If artificer was available, Sebastian would have been that instead though.

This helped me get to know them better.

Sebastian

I. what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

He always smells like a forest and smokepowder, at least a little.

II. what would their blood taste like to vampires?

It'd be coffee. It'd just be straight black coffee with how much he ingests. He'll give a vampire the caffeine jitters.

III. how would they kiss their LI?

He adapts to his LI. He follows their lead on what they want. He's not good at knowing what he wants.

IV. how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

Dude can sleep anywhere. People joke about the weird positions he falls asleep in. It's no different when another person is added. He'll start the night up against them and then off the side of the bed by morning.

V. what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

He's a tinkerer. He has so many random parts and tools. He has things taken apart to see how they work, or he's trying to build his own. He's also an alchemist so there are a lot of ingredients. Most people fear stepping foot inside because what if something explodes in there?

VI. if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

It'd be forest green.

Photo from dnddice.com

VII. do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Does his artificer supplies count? He has so much of it. He also hordes smokepowder.

VIII. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Astarion/Gale, but he'd definitely get recommendations from Shadowheart and Wyll to give his sister, Ingrid.

IX. if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

Astarion. Astarion's anti-gnome bullshittery would get under his skin. They eventually get along though.

X. do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

Speak with animals. He's half-deep gnome and half-forest gnome, taking after his forest gnome side a bit more.

XI. what are their thoughts on clowns?

He doesn't care for them. They make him uncomfortable ever since the clowning incident of 1476.

XII. their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

Back home, Ingrid and their family was gossiped about. Ingrid and Sebastian share a father, but have different mothers. The drama between them is common gossip back home. No matter where he is, his heritage is cause for gossip. There aren't a lot of half-forest half-deep gnomes running around.

The others gossip about how he could be a lawyer with how much he knows legalities of wherever they go. Astarion is impressed and jealous of how good he is at finding loopholes. They'd gossip about how and WHY he's so good at that. What crimes has he committed and justified? (This skill was inspired by Manager to Manager from Central Park.)

XIII. what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

He stifles his laugh a lot. It's very quiet chuckle as a result. It's hard to get a loud belly laugh out of him. He usually has to be drunk before he lets loose. He does have a good sense of humor though. He particularly loves puns and dad jokes.

XIV. do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

Karlach gets him to put his defenses down and he has a few inside jokes with her. He'd slowly start joking with the whole team eventually.

I am SO BAD at knowing what these jokes would be.

XV. what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

"These clothes smell like they've been rolling around in dirt and explosive powder."

XVI. what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

"Oh for the Gods' sake, does he have smokepowder on EVERYTHING he owns?"

XVII. how do they celebrate their birthday?

He never liked celebrating his birthday. His narcissistic mother would make the day about herself and what she wanted. Once he moved away, he really had no interest in engaging with it because of his bad memories. He'd only start to celebrate if someone eased him into it and made it about what he wants. He'd want something really low key.

XVIII. what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

His list is more electic than his sister's but equally surprising. They would both watch From, What We Do In The Shadows, and ghost hunting shows together though.

Outside of that, he'd be watching House of the Dragon, Mythbusters, Fallout, and Yellowjackets. He'd also watch Love Island and The Great British Bake Off.

He'd never ask his LI to watch with him, but he'd feel warm and cozy if they offered. It'd make him happy.

XIX. do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?

I don't really do titles or descriptions. I just make the title their name and list the songs.

Failsafe — The Choir Practice

This Year — The Mountain Goats

Always Tired — Weathers

Money Issues — Chase Petra

Waving Through A Window — Ben Platt

Hate Myself — dodie

Save Me — Aimee Mann

Safe Travels (Don't Die) — Lisa Hannigan

Little Sister — Trixie Mattel (this song made me think of his relationship with his sister, Ingrid, even though she's older)

Crucify — Tori Amos

A Better Son/Daughter — Rilo Kiley

Narcissist — Avery Anna

feelings are fatal — mxmtoon

all the kids are depressed — Jeremy Zucker

My Ugly — Cloudfodder

Older Than I Am — Lennon Stella

Lemon Boy — Cavetown

Passenger Seat — Death Cab for Cutie

High On Life — Rasputina

I'm Still Standing — Elton John

XX. if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

So much smokepowder. This man is a walking powder keg.

Viktor

I. what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

Rum and leather.

II. what would their blood taste like to vampires?

I'd say a spiced rum.

III. how would they kiss their LI?

He a bit emotionally stunted at the moment. His kisses begin reluctant. After his walls come down more, his kisses tend to be passionate, as if he's afraid his LI will disappear when he lets go.

I have no idea who he'd romance at this point. Barcus was the original goal, but I can also see him with Shadowheart and Wyll.

IV. how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

He's used to sleeping alone these days. He's always a bit warm so he's not likely to steal blankets. He's more likely to only be half-covered by them. As he grows more comfortable, he does become a cuddle bug.

V. what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

It's lacking as he doesn't carry a lot with him. He'd be a gunslinger if that were available in BG3 so he has paladin weapons or gunslinger weapons about. He has some clothing in there, but not much else. Can a gun paladin be a thing? They just show up to a sword fight with a gun.

VI. if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

It'd be red and black.

Image from Crystal Maggie.

VII. do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Not really. He doesn't like to have a lot of things on him. He hates owning things he doesn't need.

VIII. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Neither. He reads, but it'd be his own thing.

IX. if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

Wyll. They ultimately have the same goals, but they argue so hard about how to reach them. The fact they're not that far off from each other's beliefs is why they have the worst fights.

X. do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

While he does love animals, he'd say speak with the dead. He wants to give the dead a voice one last time.

XI. what are their thoughts on clowns?

He really doesn't care. While he doesn't want them to bother him, he doesn't feel strongly about them. He does avenge Dribbles because, well, he avenges all those wronged.

XII. their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

He's the mysterious stranger with a dark past. Everyone would have opinions on what that dark past is and how much they should be worried about it. What has he done? What has he seen? What is the horrible sin that follows him like a shadow?

He won't open up about his past like the rest of the trauma piñatas at camp, so they gossip about it.

They'd gossip about his love life, too, regardless of who he romances.

XIII. what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

He doesn't laugh often. He might let out a little amused breath most of the time if someone does amuse him. He'll only laugh loudly and heartily once his walls are completely down with someone. He does enjoy light-hearted comedy and dark humor.

XIV. do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

He would be hesitant to try to joke around. He tries to keep people at arm's length, but they'd slowly creep in. He'd end up having the most inside jokes with Jaheira, Gale, and Shadowheart though.

XV. what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

"Well worn but not well loved, they're haphazardly mended after years of use."

XVI. what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

"At least he believes in getting new underwear regularly, unlike the rest of his clothing."

XVII. how do they celebrate their birthday?

He doesn't.

He'd only celebrate if someone else does something for him.

XVIII. what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

He probably wouldn't watch a lot of TV. He's more of a reader. If you did get him to watch TV, he'd probably enjoy Baby Reindeer, Breaking Bad, and The Wire. If the right person introduced him to it, he'd also like White Lotus.

He'd only want his LI to watch if they were genuinely interested without his input.

XIX. do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?

Big Iron — Marty Robbins

Johnny Guitar — Peggy Lee

Glory of Love — Peter Cetera

Wrong Side of Heaven — Five Finger Death Punch

Million Reasons — Lady Gaga

Idfc - Blackbear (for him and his love interest)

Pretty Pills for Broken Hearts — Cloudy June

Diamonds And Rust — Joan Baez

Further On Up The Road — Johnny Cash

The Stranger Song — Leonard Cohen

People Ain't No Good — Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie — Colter Wall

I Am All I Got — The Dead Brothers

Devil's Backbone — The Civil Wars

I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You — Tom Waits

Lithium and a Lover — Sirenia

Grave In the Valley — Jim & Jesse

I Am Stretched on Your Grave — Kate Rusby

Take Me to Church — Hozier

Devil In You — The Haunted Windchimes

XX. if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

Money and some lint. He doesn't carry anything unless he has to.

[keithkog]

I still struggle to stay diplomatic in certain cases. Sure, I’m 1000x better at keeping myself from yelling at people now, but people can be awful.

Like this one time, we had to go to this planet.. Uh what was it.. I’m sorry my memory is shit sometimes, we visited so many planets, hard to keep them all straight. I had to go message Pidge, it was Klazori.

The Klazorian royal family was a powerful group, one that could be extremely helpful in rehabilitation for planets that were liberated but still need help. I was sent there along with Pidge and mom, since we were the only paladins and assistance available to sign a contract with this family.

The royal family themselves were fine, but one of the servants seemed to instantly dislike me. I really could not pinpoint why this was the case initially, but the passive aggressiveness didn’t even miss me. Note that I’m usually terrible at noticing that sort of thing, stuff like jokes and people disliking me with subtlety.

The servant would make quite a few remarks on me in particular, usually about my past or heritage. Information on us paladins got pretty far. I didn’t really understand, and I tried to address their ‘concerns’. I had learned to try my best to not react with anger when I could be the one to settle a debate.

What really did it was them saying me and my mom didn’t ‘seem very close’ and that my dad probably dumped her because she wasn’t ‘very likeable’. I ended up punching the guy in the mouth and yelling as I was pulled away by Pidge. So yeah, fun times. I still get angry when I should be holding myself back..

-Keith

[godsandvillains-if]

Okay kinda (NSFW) not really sure ha

How would ace and everyone else react to us slipping up and calling them mommy/daddy while people know something is going on between us.

A cookie 🍪 for how Ace's son reacts lol

This one cracked me up, but it would make me cringe so hard to watch this one happen in real life... 🤣🤣

Ace — They would probably just cover their face and pray to every deity known to men to just make them cease to exist in that instant. If their son was present it would make things 1000% more awkward for them, and honestly their heart might just give out lol.

Ace's Son — He would most likely choke on his own spit and have a full-blown coughing fit for like two minutes. After recovering, they would just say, "Well, it is my honor to officially welcome you to the family. Just try not to kill your stepson so soon, alright? It wouldn't earn you any points with my dad/mom."

Stardom and Wildcat — They would both be over the moon with this new piece of knowledge. They would add all kinds of jokes and sarcastic quips to their repertoire that involved that word, after they finished laughing their asses off, of course.

Archon and Paladin — They would act completely oblivious to the whole situation, but not because they don't want to embarrass the couple even more, but because they simply don't care lol.

Zodiac — Zodiac would try their best to hide their amused giggles and exasperated sigh. But they would find the situation more affectionately amusing than anything else, happy that their best friend had found someone who could keep them on their toes.

Thank you for the question!! 🥰

[autisticlancemcclain]

Jackie supports the lion swap? How dare you!

Okay SO. This is not the first time I’ve gotten an ask or a comment like this, and I’m fully aware it’s a joke (or at least I think), but I also know that it is kind of a controversial topic on here! And I’ve already written an essay in the topic, but I have some more thoughts I’d like to dive into.

I used to be team Blue Paladin Lance, and hardcore on that team, too. If you look at some of my old fics, you’ll see that. However since I am a contrary person by nature, I started to notice that Red Paladin Lance was way less liked, and so I started to like it more. I really grew fond of the dynamic Keith and Lance got to have as co-leaders, both because it was homoerotic as hell and because the symbolism was fun to explore, but klance is not the main reason I started to care so deeply for the lion change — it was actually Shiro and Allura.

I’m going to start with Shiro, because he’s one of the most fascinating characters in VLD, if not underdeveloped. Part of that fascination for me is that he probably has the most arcs and opportunities for character growth and development in the show, and yet somehow he’s the flattest. He’s portrayed as very one-dimensional in a lot of fic — he tends to be less of a character and more of a role. He’s the Space Dad, or the older brother, or the cool teacher, or the kind and wise friend, or even the stoic Black Paladin. He is loved, I think, but the role he plays is loved, not quite the person he is. And that makes sense, because that is exactly how he’s portrayed in canon.

To Keith, Shiro is “like a brother to [him]”, but what do we see of that dynamic? The show has a clear sense of how a brother acts, that’s a good chunk of Pidge’s character. We barely even know Matt, but Pidge carries herself in such a way that it’s clear when her brother shines through her. And yet even though Shiro also goes missing, twice even, Shiro does not shine through his brother. Keith’s impulses are his own, developed from general abandonment issues rather than Shiro’s specific absence. Shiro’s absence becomes less of Shiro’s absence and more of an absence of a beloved leader figure, kind of a martyr, a “Shiro would have wanted you to carry on”. It is really hard for us as a fandom to use Shiro’s disappearance as anything but a plot device, because that’s all it felt like! We have occasional moments with Shiro, enough to care about him in some way, but as a figure, not as a person. Someone pointed it out on one of my fics and I agree wholeheartedly — Shiro is not shown with any flaws, and that makes it really hard to love him, because you don’t really get the pleasure of defending him, of seeing his motivations, his reasons. Not until the very end, at least.

This is, in all honesty, likely just poor writing. Shiro’s character was honestly just sidelined to a role, because he is really not that present in the show. But I am going to work with the benefit of the doubt, and see if I can use the lion change to explain why we all kind of love Shiro anyway, despite the fact that he’s flat as hell.

Shiro isn’t the Black Paladin. He never was. He flew the Black Lion, yes, and he flew her well — but he was never her Chosen. He couldn’t have been. From the very beginning, the Black Lion was in mourning; she was in no space to choose a new paladin. She accepted Shiro, and she loved him, but he did not fall into her as much as he fell into the role she provided for him. He piloted the Black Lion, but he was not her Paladin. This is made obvious in two ways: in that he never got her bayard, and that from the very beginning, he set up a replacement for himself.

Doesn’t that strike anyone else as odd? I haven’t seen the show in five years, and I don’t plan on rewatching, but I do remember that every moment with Shiro almost had this underlying tension. The closest thing I have to canon off the top of my head is the Handbook (which I had to stop reading because they did everyone SO dirty there, even though some of it was honestly pretty funny), which was released in S2, and even that incredibly early canon talked about Keith replacing Shiro!

From the very beginning, Shiro was planning an out to his role. He knew it was not meant for him. He did the role well, but it was not his to do.

Aside from those two reasons, Shiro also…can’t be the Black Paladin. He can’t be that and himself, I mean. This part is a little more complicated, so I’m going to borrow some of my own tags from some awesome fanart I saw:

I really do think Shiro is defined by his humanity (as is heavily implied by his illness — this is a character who is completely and totally bound to his mortality. Of all the other characters, he is the one most familiar with death, so he is the one who is most intimate with the raw fear of being human. But more on that later), but it’s my last comment that I want to focus on — “he is DEFINED by his his humanity…even as his greatest asset is the part of him that is not human”.

Every second that Shiro is leader of Voltron, he is the Champion. That can literally be his only goal — he is the head of the fight against Zarkon and the Empire. Either Shiro comes out the Champion, or Zarkon does. Either Shiro has to grit his teeth and fight off the flashbacks and the fear and the pain and use the one thing that forces him to reconcile with the fact that he had his entire personhood stripped away (his arm, his Galra arm, one of their biggest advantages as a team; his connection to Zarkon through Black, something that can only help the war effort at a direct cost to him; everything he does in this war is shoving him right back into that Arena again and again and again), or Zarkon wins. Every second Shiro pilots Black, every time he plays her paladin, he has to be who the Empire made him to be. He has to be the Champion. Once again he is not Takashi Shirogane, the person, the astronaut, the man, he is the Role. He is the Space Dad he is the Pilot of the Black Lion he is the Champion. For every second he is in that lion he is stripping away himself.

Obviously, that is something that was never sustainable. On this argument alone, Shiro was going to waste away eventually. There was always going to be a point where Shiro was not going to be able to be the Champion anymore. There was always, from the very way the dynamic was set up, going to have to be a lion switch. Now, interestingly enough, there could have been a really easy fix to this: Black Paladin Allura. She’s already a born and raised leader, already shown her immense competence, already someone the rest of the paladins follow. With her at the helm, nothing else would have to change, right?

Well, maybe. We’ll never know. One part of that is absolutely true — Allura should have been a paladin from the very beginning. Her quintessence is canonically closest to the entirety of Voltron (something that bears its own essay,; the relationship between all six of the paladins and Voltron is wrought with heavy symbolism), she is the most highly trained, she is smart, and she actually wants to be out on the field. She should have been in that armour from day one.

But Allura cannot be the Black Paladin. Allura cannot handle other’s sacrifice.

Of course this is a complicated subject. Should a leader sit back and let her crew sacrifice themselves instead of her? Must she hold herself in higher regard, convince herself she’s more important? Of course not! Teams, especially Voltron, are built with assets. While not everyone might be ‘equal’ in the traditional sense, they are all integral, and expecting sacrifices is not the stance I am trying to take here. But the point of a team, especially a team so small and vital as Voltron, is that everyone is willing to be the sacrifice, as they have to be, and Allura simply can’t handle that. She shows us this from the beginning, when she disguises herself as Galra and is taken in place of anyone on the team she barely knows, and again in Oriande with the White Lion, and finally in the piece of shit canon ending. Allura has to be the sacrifice. Every time.

And how could she not be? The last time she spared herself of sacrifice, she lost her entire people. The last time she let others sacrifice themselves for her, she was left alone, to shoulder a war bigger and greater than she could ever handle. Allura is painfully familiar with the agony of being the survivor, and she cannot do that again. She cannot and will not put herself through that again. As the Black Paladin, she would have to let her team make sacrifices — she would have to let them have their own agency, their own decisions; she would have to let them choose to get hurt and choose to do risky things and analyse and react and act. As leader she would have to trust her team to put themselves in harm’s way, and not only that, but she would have to authorize them to do so.

Like Shiro cannot last as the Champion, Allura cannot last as the Survivor. Shiro cannot even last in Voltron, and it is foolish to keep Allura out of it. A lion change is absolutely necessary for the show to move forward, for the war to move forward. The initial team was doomed to fail.

How would it change, then? What would fit? I know I’ve said my piece. I know who I think would fit where. But since I’ve been comparing character arcs to their roles as paladins, I’d like to keep doing that — what about Keith makes me so sure that he’s the true Black Paladin?

I’ll show you with process of elimination. I know Black Paladin Lance is a favourite, and I can see why. Lance has many leadership qualities, is a good tactician, and cares deeply. However, aside from his desire for power making him less suitable for the role, Lance functions best as support, despite how much he hates it. He is the one who knows how to pick up the pieces of a broken situation. He is an excellent guide, which makes him an unbelievably valuable second. He is adaptable, so he can fill in for many different roles. He can step in for leader when necessary, but putting him in Black would encourage a more active role for him; would force him to anticipate and plan for specific outcomes rather than his strength as one who analyses any outcome as it arises and works within it then. Lance could be the Black Paladin, yes, but taking him from the body and placing him in the head would be a fool’s choice. It would be crippling to Voltron, to put the jack of all trades as a master of one. Lance’s arc is all about learning to love and trust himself as he is, as the seventh wheel. Not to put him in charge of the vehicle.

Well, what about Hunk? Hunk is incredibly intelligent and analytical. He probably could lead Voltron, and did in several occasions. But Hunk’s arc is interesting because it was handled so early in the show. Unlike the rest of the team, Hunk’s arcs were solved largely in the first season. His biggest flaws were his distrust of people and, literally, his inability to fly. He could not take his feet off the ground. He was so untrusting that he could not manage to take a step forward. However his bonding with Yellow and trust with the team and their subsequent and returned trust resolved these issues, more or less, which is probably why Hunk was treated more and more like a side character the longer VLD went on. Hunk didn’t need the role of Black Paladin because he had settled into the Yellow Paladin in a way that was sustainable.

Pidge is in a similar boat. Her arc, primarily, has been about finding her family. Voltron was almost second priority for her, or at least not her only first priority. And understandably so! As the youngest she was afforded with that lenience. Her growth was about growing into her own pain, about becoming her own person alongside what she had become in the absence of her brother. As the Black Paladin, she would no longer have the space to prioritize her search for her family alongside Voltron, so her position as Black Paladin would be unstable. She is best suited in Green, where she can focus on several things at once.

That really only leaves Keith. In many ways it comes full circle — the Black Lion healing from her grief by choosing the man who ran from his Galran heritage and his power as a leader, rather than the man who chose nationalism and power over anything else. Keith is Zarkon’s direct opposite, and as such is the other side of the same coin, the one who is truly Black’s Chosen. We know this because Keith is the one who wields the Black Bayard, and Keith is, from the very beginning, the one the rest of the team chooses to follow — I ask you whether it was for Shiro that the three other humans ran off to chase in the desert, or Keith? Who was it that Lance could not leave alone? Who was it that piqued Hunk’s curiousity? Who was it that challenged Pidge to choose Voltron, rather than the search for her family?

That covers Black Paladin Keith. But what about Red Paladin Lance? I’ve established already why he cannot be the Black Paladin, but why did he have to move from Blue? For that, I bring you another few slices from early, S2 and previous canon:

“I thought what we had was special!” “Seventh wheel, if you count the Alteans.” More than once, Lance laments over being forgotten. He struggles with feeling like anything but the extra, the unnecessary. Whether or not Blue Chose him is irrelevant — he does not feel Chosen by her. The Pilot of the Blue Lion position for Lance is as unsustainable as the Pilot of the Black Lion position for Shiro — Lance does not trust it. He doesn’t trust himself in the role, and doesn’t trust Blue in having chosen it for him. Obviously, this is not the role for him.

But Red? Keith’s Red Paladin, at least? Yes, he struggles with feeling like Keith’s second, but that is literally his arc. Lance’s development is about becoming his own person despite his own misgivings about being second-best. His role as the Red Paladin is the fulfilling of his arc, and is thus the best Lion for him, the Chosen. And Red did Choose him, mind you. There was an adjustment period, of course there was, but Red did more than let Lance pilot her. She opened up new possibilities for Lance — think the broadsword — that he could not see. Red saw his potential and revelled in it. She Chose him.

Lastly — and this turned out to be less relevant to the essay than I expected, but I do want to go over it a tad — is Shiro’s tie to humanity. I mentioned two important points: Shiro’s connection to mortality makes him the most intimate with his humanity out of all the characters, and he is undoubtedly the flattest character of them all. That is, if you don’t consider his clone to be part of his character.

But I’m begging you to reconsider. Reconsider, perhaps, who the clone is — Haggar had pure access to Shiro for a year, you remember. His thoughts, his dreams, his mannerisms, his priorities, his body. Even him at his most human, his most deranged, his most scared. She had Shiro then. She had Shiro when he had nothing to look forward to. She had Shiro when he hurt his crew to make sure they would live, at direct cost to himself.

She stripped him of his humanity — his connection to his own mortality. She took his illness from him. And who, then, did she return to the team? Who was clone? Shiro, mostly. The clone was happy to play with the team. The clone was clever. The clone believed, fully, that he was Shiro, only he was angrier and meaner, a little, and less capable of shoving down his own pain. Shiro, stripped of his tie to humanity and mortality, stripped of his compulsive need to be strained and stressed and the one everyone else can rely on, the Role rather than the Person, is emotional. He has flaws and outbursts. He can’t manage his own pain. He is is cruelest to the one person on the team — Lance — who canonically reminds him closest of himself.

Shiro, in the purest form that Haggar can make him, is flawed and self-hating. That is where our love for him comes. Not the man who pushes himself down at the same time as he sacrifices his personality to be someone for others, but the man who is struggling and can’t keep it locked down. That’s where it comes from.

Anyways. Like with my other essay, I’ll admit that this analysis is probably reading into this. The writing of VLD was flawed, at best, but regardless, I think the lion change is a rich amalgamation of the characters and who they really are.