#paradox liveblogs

[paradox-n-bedrock]

I'm rewatching Partners in Crime and everything about these babyfaced wonders is getting to me.

Donna is so bright and hopeful when she's talking to Wilf about the Doctor and it's like a punch right to the chest. She says wistfully and with such deep conviction that she's going to find him even if it takes a hundred years.

It's just further driving home how important their ending is. He found her this time, if by chance, and she gets to have that brightness back. He's the one staying with her, even if he hasn't promised forever. I was yelling about the symmetry between the 60th anniversary specials and The Runaway Bride, but with Partners in Crime, it's the inversion.

Also, do we all remember Donna in suits??? Fitted blazers and pencil skirts. Button-ups and pinstripe trousers. Because it wasn't quite so sharp in my mind and now I'm having a religious experience. As if her £120K UNIT job offer isn't perfect enough, the mere idea of Donna, in a suit, storming headlong towards trouble again is such a lovely little bonus gift.

[theparadoxmachine]

I just got to enjoy the glorious and unparalleled experience that is hearing Beverly D'Angelo, Ellen Griswold herself, call someone a cocksucker

[archietransdrews]

literally talking to the walls of my room like. riverdale's internal logic relies on the explanatory power of one's origins to an absurd degree, framing the actions of the protagonists as prescribed by their generational predecessors to such an extreme that the town's founding years not only provide meaning, context, and motive to current events as is typical in an archetypal place-based narrative but futhermore exert a horrifying control over the characters, compelling them to repeat or rebel against the actions of long-dead townspeople to whom they are only distantly related. these scenes from the past, when included in the show, are filmed using the same actors as the present-day scenes, producing the past as not only reminiscent of but in some aspects identical to the present. blood and bloodlines are used by various characters as explanatory schemas for the behavior of different characters throughout; riverdale is a place overdetermined by its own origins to the point that our protagonists spend years trying and usually failing to escape the combined generational curses of an entire town whose entire history consists in the repetition of its own genesis ad nauseum. does this seeming over-reliance on origins exaggerate the process to the point of effective parody, or does it merely & more straight-forwardly reinforce the [genetic] origin as privileged locus of [fictional] meaning?

a potentially conflictual reading of riverdale's historical "origins" is that they are invented or produced through the act of jughead's narration of riverdale as text; this reading posits that there is no "before" the pilot of riverdale, save what jughead invents to give additional meaning to the events which make up his plots. riverdale is his puppet show; everything in the text has been filtered through his point of view, which is to say that everything acquires the exact same level of (un)reality, whether it's a comic book character come to life or the sins of one's ancestors. in this framing, the true origin, and the key to whatever meaning might be made of this text, is the moment jughead's narration begins in the pilot with "our story is about a town.." in foregrounding jughead's ongoing acts of authorship and creation which function to continually produce the narrative & all it contains, riverdale destabilizes epigenetic origin as a locus of meaning by framing it as in some way artificial, invented, unreal; however, it does this by substituting another, no less authoritative, specifically authorial origin in its place.

and there is still a THIRD possible genealogy through which we can read riverdale as understanding itself, namely the genealogy of the cinematic canon. we well know that riverdale is constantly referring back to earlier moments in the history of film, from 70s noirs to 80s coming of age movies to 90s thrillers to etc. etc., not so much situating itself within this history as aiming to encompass all of the various stages of the medium's development. this argument could be broadened to include the histories of other prominent cultural forms, namely the novel and the comic strip; the meaning in riverdale might be said to be primarily derived from comic conventions, the principles of character creation and economy of image that have governed strips for decades and which now cause riverdale characters to wear outfits that have no in-world meaning except to refer back to their original iconic wardrobes, e.g. archie and jughead's S and R t-shirts.

which of these frames has the most explanatory power? which best helps us to understand or analyze why events in riverdale play out the way they do? i think in most cases one needs some combination of the three to be able to even begin getting at what's going on, which suggests that at least part of riverdale's project is the destabilization of the genealogical narrative via the introduction of several distinct, at times competing, narrative origins. riverdale is a story whose meaning is located simultaneously in the past, the act of narration, and the development of cinema and comics as mediums. while this structure does not necessarily step outside of the dominant symbolic framework that looks to origins in order to generate the meaning of a text, it is in typical riverdale fashion that the show wants to do everything at once, meaning in this case that rather than privileging one frame through which we are meant to make sense of the show's content, we are given to several possible readings which are all compelling in their own ways & when taken together succeed in troubling the final authority of any one interpretation.

[altschmerzes]

🌹🌹 Wriggle up maybe some of Jamie's trauma?

boy howdy there is so much of that to go around. salutes.

specific content warnings under the cut along with the clip. it's not particularly intense, but it's upsetting and emotional. from the part of the fic set between seasons 1 and 2 and re: roy's retirement. it's a bit of a...... well. a lot of a long clip but i think we've come to expect that from me at this point lmao.

content warnings for the scene: jamie is living alone with his father in manchester at this point and his internal state is... not good. there is some like. it's not exactly outright violence, but it's rough contact that jamie doesn't want, kind of mocking not-affection.

--

Jamie is alone in his room with the door closed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if he’ll be noticed or stopped if he tries to leave and just fuck about in the park for a few hours until it’s late enough to go to bed when he hears it. The segment transition music of his father’s favourite sports network is a distinctive and familiar sound, a regular feature of life that’s gone back and forth from Manchester to London and back again, staying the same even as most everything else changed. Half the time Jamie doesn’t even register it anymore, it just is. Today he does. Today he hears it because he’s paying attention to the flat, tracking the sounds on instinct. And because Jamie hears the segment transition noise, he hears what comes after it.

The segment hosts are talking about Richmond. They’re talking about Roy. Jamie closes his eyes and pulls at the front of his shirt, pinching the fabric idly between his thumb and forefinger and tugging. He hears press conference and major announcement and knee injury and something about those words, the combination of them, has Jamie pulling himself up off of his bed and out into the hallway. Every inch of him is exhausted all the way down to the core but he has to go, compelled for reasons he can’t explain to walk into the living room.

Standing in the doorway, Jamie watches over the back of the couch, over his father’s shoulder, as Roy appears on camera and starts talking. Starts crying. The words themselves are a blur, only a few coming through clearly as Jamie listens, sick to his stomach and struggling to breathe all the way in - team of doctors, continuing degeneration, announcing my retirement. Roy sits far away in London and speaks through tears through choppy inhales and shuddering exhales, and on the couch in front of Jamie in Manchester, James laughs.

Jamie’s father tips his chin up and laughs, his head tipping side to side, obviously tickled to bits by what’s happening on the screen. The press conference goes on, but it’s even harder to hear now through the sound of that laughter. It’s not loud - it’s amused chuckling and not full-belly guffaws, but it may as well be blasting on surround-sound speakers for all that Jamie can hear anything else past it.

“Oh, Jamie, lad, get a load of this shite,” James says. He’s noticed his son in the doorway, waving a hand over the back of the couch and gesturing at the screen. “My, what a shame. Roy bloody Kent, going out like this. Used to be a man, that one, and look at him now. Jesus wept.”

Frozen in the doorway of the room, Jamie stares at the television screen. Guilt rises in his throat, threatening to choke him, and brings with it a whole host of other things he can’t or doesn’t want to name. This is his fault. This is all his fault.

There’s a mobile in Jamie’s hoodie pocket, and a note in the bottom of his schoolbag with a phone number on it. His fingertips itch to go and find it, to text Ted Lasso and tell him that he didn’t mean for what happened to happen. Maybe if Jamie begs him to, Ted will tell Roy that Jamie is sorry, that he’s so sorry, so fucking sorry. But he doesn’t. He can’t.

Turning and looking over his shoulder, James must see something in Jamie’s face that he hadn’t been able to hide - not that he was thinking clearly enough to try just at the moment. When he speaks, James’s voice has climbed into a mocking register, pitchy and singsonging with ridicule.

“Aw, what, is wee little Junior gonna get all weepy about that sad old has-been?” A sharp snort of laughter punctuates a rhetorical question that drips with casual, habitual scorn. “Hey, I mean, at least he was something. More than you can say.”

Beyond the thick and shuddering mass of emotion already packing Jamie’s chest too bursting there’s no room for anything more. The insulting reference to his own injury, the one that had ended his career before it began, doesn’t even make his surgically repaired knee throb with phantom pain the way it usually would have done. Jamie just keeps staring at the telly, watching Beard join Roy on-screen to field questions from reporters, ignoring his dad entirely.

Even fixed as he is on the programme, though, Jamie can’t help but track the man’s movements when he rises. James moves in his peripheral vision, always the most important thing to watch in any room, walking towards the hall and directly by Jamie. As he walks past, he reaches out and scuffs his hand through his son’s hair. It’s rough and abrupt, a mockery of affection that knocks Jamie off-balance and into the wall. There’s only the faintest echo of almost-pain but the adrenaline it spikes down his spine is as if he’s been shot all the same.

Once James is gone, Jamie doesn’t move. He knows that he should, that he should go back to his room or leave the house or do anything else, but he can’t. All he can do is stand there with his heart thudding hard in his chest and the crushing sense that he is all alone in the world and he fucking deserves it suffocating from the inside out while he stares at Roy’s face on the telly and wonders what the fuck is wrong with him.

[isortofwriteit]

cried so hard at 73 yards I have a headache now. what the fuck brother.

[gillianthecat]

The New Employee - episode 5

Gah this EPISODE!! 🥰😍🥰 Here are my thoughts during and after watching:

Excellent, we're getting right into the mystery of the terrifying pen.

Omg the second hand embarrassment in this college flashback makes me curl up and hide. Also, I assume it's less obvious in Korean that Seung Hyun thought they were talking about a gift for him, because otherwise Yoo Seong is being deliberately cruel, not just self-centered and obvious, and I don't think he's supposed to be.

This is a legit explanation for why Seung Hyun freaked out though. I also would runaway if I saw something that was both evidence that my new person once dated my toxic crush and a reminder of one of my saddest and most embarrassing memories.

Lee Beom with the wise advice once again! And it sounds like Seong Hyun isn't mad at Jong Chan for this, just freaked out and stuck about how to talk about it.

These two have really good friendship chemistry. Which actors don't always manage to make clearly distinct from romantic chemistry, but these two do.

Oh Jong Chan. I mean I get it. Everyone is freaking out here. But Seong Hyun is trying to be open and vulnerable with you. You don't need to get defensive and go on the attack now.

Something about this fight and break up feels very adult to me. I mean, Jong Chan is being immature and leaping to conclusions and breaking up because he doesn’t understand Seung Hyun and he’s scared to try. But it feels like adult immaturity somehow, rather than youngness.

Oh god, Seung Hyun is having the worst week. All this heartache from the past pops up out of nowhere, your boss dumps you just as your trying to do the adult thing and talk about it, and then on top of it you keep fucking up at work and everyone is getting on your case about it. Including your he’s-not-actually-your-ex-because-he-ended-things-before-it-even-got-to-that-point. Oh man, I ache for him.

Jong Chan is in pain too, and I sympathize with him having spent the last day confused about the sudden withdrawal of the man he’s falling for, right after sleeping together for the first time. And when he finally explains why, it makes it sound like he’s still hung up on someone else. But I’m also mad at Jong Chan for not even trying to listen. Probably because it strikes a nerve—memories of trying to explain my complicated emotions to various ex-boyfriends and them freaking out about it, not listening to what I was actually saying and instead making up a story in their head about what my emotions were based on what scared them the most. Which was very frustrating.

And at first I was surprised that Jong Chan went there so quickly. I had expected more understanding from him, more willingness to work. But then his monologue to his cat made sense of it for me: "I don’t like emotional quarrels." Look, I’m not sure what of this the show is putting in there intentionally, and what is me making up complexity for a stock "cold boss seme" archetype, but I think this might be the first time when he’s faced with the complexity of who Seung Hyun actually is, rather than the sweet new kid who hero-worships him.

And although Jong Chan has been in many relationships, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never actually put the work into them, but rather ended things, or more likely retreated into his career when the emotions got hard and his boyfriends wanted things from him. That memory scene in the previous episode made it sound like non of his exes had understood his values and his love of his job, and maybe that’s all it is, but his line about hating quarreling makes me think there is more to it than that, that he in fact hasn't cared enough about anyone to actually face scary emotions. Except that now he does with Seung Hyun.

Anyway, I did like his desperately stoic face whenever he had to see or hear about or talk to Seung Hyun. And the way he grabbed his wrist and positively yanked him into the elevator to finally confront him in the storage closet. (It's not making out in a supply closet, but I'm still happy about it. Although it does make the camera angles weird and distorts their faces.) And the way he kept drinking more and more at the work party while his eyes kept tracking Seung Hyun frantically trying to be a good intern and take care of all his seniors. It seems very reminiscent of Japanese BL, although maybe its just that that's where most of the office romances I've seen are from.

And then! Jong Chan apparently couldn't stand it anymore and then goes after him. I loved his line (I'm paraphrasing) "I don't understand your feelings, and I know I'm supposed to or supposed to lie and say I do, but I just don't. But I want to." It's just so... gah! This was the moment (and their subsequent hug and giddy walk back to the work party) that turned this episode from 'some nice stuff happening' to 🥰😍! for me. It felt so honest and vulnerable and true to the character. He doesn't understand the complexity of people's emotions. But Seung Hyun makes him want to understand him.

It was also this line that made me willing to handwave the rest of the conversations they need to be having. Yes, yes, there are only eight short episodes, so we need to wrap everything up soon. But I believe, behind the scenes, they are talking about the hard stuff. Jong Chan is someone who if he says he's going to do something he does it. And I think he does want to see Seung Hyun for who he actually is.

I also have thoughts about seme/uke dynamics in this show and Seung Hyun's... passivity? Or not that exactly, but his very uke role of following Jong Chan's lead and not initiating much of anything, be it kisses, romantic gestures or difficult conversations, himself. But a) I'm not exactly sure what my thoughts are yet, and b) this is already very long and I should get on with my day.

Although this conversation gave me some insight into what was going on--the show's very traditional manga roots nestled alongside the grown-up queer story the director wants to tell, create some oddities like this, where despite his insecurities and inexperience, Seung Hyun doesn't seem like he'd be as passive as he is, but the structure of the story kind of requires him to be, so there is some dissonance there. And it also creates this thing were I'm not sure if I'm reading too much complexity into the characters and their backstories, or if it's really there.

But anyway. Their giddiness and joy at un-breaking up! Seung Hyun can't stop smiling! The relief on Jong Chan's face. That hug, they way they held each other so tightly. Their silly little argument over carrying the bags and who would enter first. 🥰

And the queerness of this show, in showing both the fun things and the glimpses of being queer in a homophobic world. The way they spring apart from their embrace when someone walks by, and their relief when he reassures them with a "cute." And the whole extremely queer you-used-to-be-in-unrequited-love-with-my-ex-boyfriend.

(Speaking of the ex-boyfriend, I still want to know more about Yoo Seong. Including who he's in love with. OOOOOHHH. I just had a thought. Second season about him? Is that what they're setting us up for with all these dropped hints?!? That would make me so happy. I don't know anything about the source material, so I don't know if this is a realistic hope or just a daydream. But if this was an English language romance novel, it absolutely would be setting us up for a second Yoo Seong book. The ridiculously attractive mysterious "rake" who hurts both of the main characters, sweeping through their lives seemingly unaware. Who seems to have fallen for some unknown person. Come on producers, give it to us.)

Ok, back to our main couple. The sweetness of their texting from opposite sides of the corporate sleepover! Their promises to communicate and stick around when things got hard. Jong Chan sneaking over just to sit next to Seung Hyun as he falls asleep. And this is all the sweeter for me, because I feel like their giddy happiness means something now.

[pttucker]

⸢Yoo Joonghyuk from the 1863rd turn escaped from being a [Character] because the 3rd turn exists. But if that's true, then how could he be the 3rd turn Yoo Joonghyuk from the get-go…?⸥ Numerous questions brushed past my head, and the last thing to pop up was the final conversation I had with tls123. ⸢I was thinking of sending you a special gift as a way to express my gratitude, Dokja-nim.⸥ That 'gift' the author was talking about, could it be…

What?

The author created the weird split worldline?

Maybe???

...Does the author know that the characters are attempting to go past the 1863rd round? I mean, thinking on it, they have to right? Like the Revisions have been coming from somewhere so they're aware of what's happening? Well, unless it's literally Dokja automatically making those revisions just by existing and a living being isn't actually writing them per se.

But anyway, did the author see the 1863rd Joonghyuk leaving and wrote in a new part for him to go to and gave it to Dokja to "read" AKA live out?

Or has this entire worldline been Dokja's gift from the beginning?

...But then why not just start Dokja in the first round? The 1864th round? The one he really liked, the 999th round? Could Dokja only start on the 3rd round because that's where TWSA starts and that's what Dokja knows??? But if that's the case it seems like Dokja is the one who created this universe, not the author or Joonghyuk...

Ugh, and it's getting into weird time paradox stuff but Secretive Plotter himself seems to recognize that it is with the whole "this was the impossible world-line created by the end result interfering with the cause" not to mention the Disconnected Film Theory which has never made much sense, even Dokja said so.

Of course, with the power of the author, it doesn't matter if it makes sense... if it's written then it happens. It doesn't have to be a good story to be a story. And Dokja has already proven that he doesn't actually care if the story doesn't make sense in certain parts or if it's boring or so on and so forth. He'll read it anyway.

[megane-sama]

The children and Masaki have returned from their playdate

Look at their faces, I just know they are such finished dads, those kids are spoilt beyond measure.

[alittleannihilati0n]

THE DEVIL

[queenerdloser]

did a trivia game with my fam over the holidays and a question came up about fermi's paradox (what is the thing fermi's paradox is supposed to describe or s/t like that). i immediately knew the answer and not one of my family members knew. when trying to explain why i knew what the hell fermi's paradox was, i was struggling not to bring up a poem about loneliness that made me so insane about fermi's paradox i wrote my own poem in response which is one of my few published poems and probably my favorite thing i've written in the last five years.

but yeah. i just. know about it mom, lol.

[pochapal]

talking about immaterial entities and the common thread of "existence" between gods and ghost stories...

[paradox-n-bedrock]

Welp, here I am crying over the Ood and Donna's loose curls and sad eyes and the song of the DoctorDonna carrying across the universe into forever.

It's already wild that once upon a time--for a very long time--we thought that song would be the only way they would be together.

And the Ood, to this day, may be my favorite aliens across any media. They're a telepathic hive mind and they're lovely and they're born with their brain in their hands.

Which... something something, my penchant for idolizing vulnerability to a fault.

[gamerism]

oi game just let me-

[mrparable]

i dont get why they wont just fucking SHOOT hannibal. like oh my god okay you fucking pussies HAND ME THE GUN

[golisopod-mutual]

undefined

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

THEY'RE GAY TOO????