#partially my own fault for not paying attention I Guess but I literally Didn’t know. this sucks

[haleigh-sloth]

I was wondering if you could help me understand this writing decision in the new chapter. I sent this message to a My Hero discord and was wondering if you had anything to say about it.

So, I’ve put my thoughts to the page a little and I think I’ve figured out why this turn on Tenko’s backstory bothers me so much. It’s because it’s twofold…it makes him into too perfect of a victim and also washes society’s hands of the blood it has on them for not paying attention to him when he was wandering the street. I’ll address each of these in its own paragraph.

First, most abuse victims are not “perfect victims.” They often have unhealthy coping mechanisms that are wrong and unhealthy in themselves, and they do bear partial responsibility for that. It’s harder to relate to Tenko’s struggles with self hatred when they’re completely divorced from reality - he only exists because AFO wants him to exist and only destroys because AFO wants him to destroy at this point. He also doesn’t have to wrestle with those feelings in himself to overcome them. I just don’t think a situation where a victim has no unhealthy coping mechanisms they chose for themselves is realistic to how this issue often plays out irl.

Secondly, Tenko only existing because AFO wanted him to exist absolves society of their sin of ignoring Tenko as he wandered the streets. These leaks make it sound like AFO would have groomed him regardless of whether someone reached out a helping hand, meaning it was of no consequence whether someone helped him or not. This makes every problem in Tenko’s world AFO’s fault, instead of AFO being a trigger pressed on a loaded gun (that loaded gun being the idolization of heroes and treating them as superhuman as a guise for complacency).

I’d appreciate if someone could help me make sense of this writing decision because I’m struggling to understand why it’s here.

I really want to accept this direction for Tenko’s arc, and truth be told I do see some upsides to this development, but I’m having a hard time getting past the perfect victim* + the absolution of hero society.

*To further expand on this point, I also think that Tenko’s turn being inevitable causes people’s worldviews to be challenged less. Both the audience and the characters in series are meant to be challenged by the idea of Tenko being both a perpetrator and a victim, rather than just one or the other. AFO being involved in his life literally since conception pushes him so far into the “victim” category that people don’t have to wrestle with the concept of his salvation and humanity anymore. I see this as only a negative but I’d like to know what you think.

Also sorry for bugging you so much with asks lately, i can be really annoying

I don’t think Tenko is anywhere near what could be described as a “perfect victim”. He takes his anger out on the space around him and damn near everyone in it. He’s killed a lot of people who had absolutely nothing to do with his misery and suffering. He’s targeted Izuku and Bakugo (for like, very distorted reasons) but they had nothing to do with his life sucking so bad.

He is far from perfect. If there is one in MHA (doesn’t rly exist tho) it’s Eri, I guess.

It seems like what you’re thrown by is AFO being implicated even further. But this really changes nothing. AFO didn’t make people ignore Tenko on the street. And society’s flaws are emphasized in more than one place.

Tenko learning the truth doesn’t take away the sting of being ignored on the street. It just makes the death of his family way worse because it wasn’t just a freak accident, it was forced upon him. It just turned into something that was done to him. It’s horrific, no matter how involved AFO was from the get go. Everyone who was responsible for their part in his pain, still is. Nothing really changes.

Tenko was always helpless from the start. And he still is, he always has been, he never stood a chance. That doesn’t change with this new revelation.

He’s not a victim that has 0 reasons to feel conflicted about (although, I don’t lol). He’s done a lot of damage to other people. He’s perpetrated the cycle of violence, very much actively participated in it. It is obviously from a place of pain and revenge and hopelessness, but still people who weren’t involved ended up being involved whether they asked to be or not. Not that we’re supposed to care about off-screened people, but that’s what makes him an antagonist, after all. He’s not a black and white antagonist. If you’re feeling less conflicted about him being saved, then Horikoshi’s writing accomplished its goal. You’re supposed to want him saved by this point because that’s how the protagonist feels, and the writing tells you it’s the right thing to do and the right direction for the story.

I don’t think anything about Tenko’s victim status changes. Everyone’s responsibility is still the same. It’s all the same, just AFO sucking more and more.

[redinkofshame]

 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17! My favorite number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

178,176. Dang!

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

@theDuckPond Solavellan slow burn? smlungst, 62,553 words

New Life papae!Solas with lots of smut, 6606 words

Marigolds in the Hanged Man Varrigold! :D Varric/Marigold, 43,527 words

(3.5 is Dreaming With You (Solas x Reader), but I’m only a partial writer on that one so I’m not counting it.)

Labor and Loss papae!Solas with lots of sad, 4097 words

Kirkwall Karaoke f!Fenhawke drunken shenanigans, 7023 words

Wow I wasn’t expecting my karaoke fic to be on this list! And you guys really like your papae!Solas :D

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, yes, because when I leave comments it gives me anxiety that only seeing them reply fixes and I want to do that for other people. Unfortunately back when I updated every week (lol) I got in the habit of replying to comments when I posted something new... So now when I go a long time without posting a new chapter I leave the comments on read for a long time. Sorry guys!!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly? This Nonsense. (Link is to a long series of messages to @keturagh at 3am, no joke.) 

But, since then, I’ve figured out an alternative ending that’s much happier. I can’t help it. I want happy endings.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

As per #5, all of them lol. The first one that came to mind was Marigolds, but honestly my soulmate au Vhenaslin feels the fluffiest to me. 

And, of course, there’s this one ;) 

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t, not yet :( Like, I like the concept but no combination I’ve thought of has given me even the slightest bit of inspiration.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I received one that was something like “Congrats! You’ve written the most insufferable OC I’ve ever read!!” and it was fucking hilarious because it was on, like, chapter 6? You read 6 chapters about a character you didn’t like and somehow it’s my fault?? lmao

There was another one I can’t remember, too, and twice people have called Elle a bitch. All of these happened to Elle from Duck Pond, so if that’s not a glowing recommendation~

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ROFL yeah that’s why I’m here. Like literally why I joined the fandom. 

Everyone I’ve written is m/f and not particularly kinky but pretty damn explicit. Sometimes I do fade-to-black or gloss over for pacing, but mostly... Yeah. There’s smut. let Solas nut

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Sure af hope not.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. At least, not that I know of!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! There was a Solas x Reader post on tumblr that people were reblogging and adding a little more too, and I guess that the foreplay went on too long because @keturagh sent it to me like ‘you’re the expert of getting the P in the V!’ and I’ve never written Reader fic before (or since) but who am I to disappoint!! 

Then someone compiled it all and put it on AO3 here. I don’t have a damn clue where my writing begins -- other than I got the P in the V lol. Every once in a while I get a notification of a comment or kudos on it and  every SINGLE time I’m like

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Very clearly Solavellan. Though I’m also very into Opal/Nik from the Minimum Wage Magic books by Rachel Aaron. I listened to the audiobook because Patrick Weekes shared their reading list on twitter once and it was on there and I’m a HUGE sucker for juxtaposition. Gets me every time. 

I’ve since read uuuhhhh almost everything Rachel Aaron/Bachs has read, and there’s lots of great stuff in there, but MWM is still my favorite series of hers by far. My own personal Couch AU. 

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uuhhhh.... So many? Or more like I’m scared I never will, in any case. I started drafting a list of my WIPs and it got... long. I can’t think of any I made a deliberate choice to never finish. There’s only 1 fic that I wrote that I didn’t post.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, pacing, and sex~ 

I consider my dialogue my biggest asset as a writer tbh

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

WRITING THE WORDS DOWN and also how do plot?

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

In the fandom there’s a tendency to write lines in elvhen and then put the translation at the end and yeah no it drives me bonkers. It completely destroys the immersion and pacing for no pay off. I’m not going to scroll down to understand your story. I just read it straight and try to figure out what’s going on based on context. 

I stick with the well-known canon lines that most of us obsessed fans know by heart. I think sometimes I put a translation in there for newcomers, maybe? One time I used a feature on AO3 where you can hover your mouse over the work and it has like a footnote? that you can use to translate. But I immediately stopped bc #1 I don’t know how that works on mobile and #2 it really doesn’t seem like that’s going to work with screen readers. But otherwise I just say ‘they said in elven’ or have the narrator translate it themself for the reader. 

Also, a lot of people use the elvhen translations from that BNF’s project and like... If you WANT him to say ‘I want to paint you with my cum’ then just have the courage to say it straight! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

lmao Harvest Moon. Yeah. After that was Tamora Pierce (modern girl in Tortall yep). Then was like a 15 year gap until I got frustrated at the slow pace of the romance with this egg in this game so I wanted to see if there was smut... (Cue Googling: Is FanFiction.Net still a thing?)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh gosh. Hmm. I love all my girls, but Duck Pond was/is a major work of love. Unlike my short works I really had the chance to explore more in a full length fic, you know?

(Marigolds is also full length but it was my first fic and there’s some spots that I’m not too proud of.)

That’s all the questions but I’m adding:

20. What’s a fic you’re proud of that hasn’t gotten much attention?

because I want an excuse to mention how hard I worked on Kirkwall Noir and how I’m surprised how little readership it’s gotten. It’s Varric! It’s Marigold! It’s super short, unlike most my stuff. Maybe that’s why people don’t like it?

Hmm, I also used a AO3 pen name, but it would still show on my page, right? 

Thank you for the tags, @roguelioness and @thevikingwoman !!  Consider yourself re-tagged so you can answer #20. Also tagging: @blarfkey @broomclosetkink @elveny @bardinhightown @keturagh​ @luzial​ 

[catxsnow]

CHALLENGE PT. TWO G.L.

Requests: hi i just read ur gar x reader and i'm literally weak it was so cute omg. is it to early to beg for a part 2 with fluff and jason being a little jealous bitch lollll it can be shorter idk how many ideas u have i just love the way u wrote gar -xoxo!

for part 2 to challenge u could have gar and y/n in different domestic scenarios being cute n in love and jason trying to break them up bc he's jealous and can't understand why their dating since they're both so different but in the end realising they're both perfect for each other and they all live happily ever after the end.

Warning: Jason being jealousssss

A/N: Part two to Challenge! I’m terrible at multiple part imagines but I hope I did this good enough justice! 

Word Count: 3.1k

Part One

Jason Todd didn't understand.

He didn't get how someone like you would ever end up with someone like Gar. Not that he believed Gar to be a bad person or anything, but the two of you were so different. You were confident, outgoing, and never could say no to a fun time. Gar on the other hand, was way more shy than you were, he was hesitant to get out of his comfort zone, and he was the biggest nerd.

The two of you were just polar opposites. So, when you got together, he was more than shocked to see how well you got along. He had known about your friendship, but never realized how close it was. He found himself getting irritated every time he saw the two of you together.

The first time that he was annoyed by your dating was when you were making dinner in the kitchen together. Even though you cooked for the whole team, the process seemed like such a private time with Gar. He would sit at the counter watching your every move until you had asked him to do something for you.

The moment that he was done with the task, he would stand behind you with his hands around your waist and his chin on your shoulder. He would reach his neck around as far as he could to kiss your lips. In anyone else eyes, the action would have been adorable. In Jason's, it was disgusting.

He had walked in while Gar was leaning against the counter, chatting with you and looking at you as if you were the utter love of his life. Jason didn't say anything, but the flush in his cheeks spoke loud enough: he was jealous.

Jason had lost the challenge, but he wasn't ready to give up quite yet.

The second time Jason was irritated was when he was sparring against you. It wasn't unusual for the two of you to fight against one another, but this time he had just been frustrated with you. Gar was going against Dick just on the other side of the room and the two of you would constantly be exchanging looks.

Between fights, whenever you had the upper hand, any time that you weren't losing you were throwing winks or kisses towards your boyfriend. Jason was furious. This was supposed to be a serious training session and you were just goofing off. You were never serious anymore since you started dating Gar.

When he finally had enough of it, he had stormed off after yelling at you. Though your feelings weren't hurt, Dick still ran after him to go scold him. That left you and Gar in the training room.

"You gonna release the beast this time?"

"In your dreams," Gar rolled his eyes. He still refused to fight against you as the tiger. Dating you had made him even more protective of you and that meant that he wasn't going to do anything that would purposefully harm you.

"Oh baby, you know it." Gar's face lit up bright red. He was still getting used to your confidence and your ever lasting need to try and get him to blush. Almost every time, it worked. He was a constant flustered mess around you and you loved it.

"Stop," Gar whined. You raised your fists up and jumped around the mat. He followed your lead and the two of you circled each other, antsy on who was going to make the first move. If he was to be honest, it was always you, and he didn't mind that.

"Make me," you winked.

><

By the the fifth time that Jason had been annoyed that the two of you were dating, he had completely lost it. He was out for the night, causing whatever chaos in the town. By the time that he got back home, he was nothing but disappointed and disgusted.

You and Gar had decided to have a stay at home date night which included movies, popcorn, and far too much laughter. Dating Gar might have been the best choice that you had ever made in your life.

You were happier than you had been in years. No longer having to keep your feelings hidden brought a weight off your chest and you felt as if you could breathe once more. Not that you wanted to curse it, but things were going perfect.

Gar opened up to you more than he ever had before. He trusted you with his secrets and you trusted him with yours. The friendship that you guys had was taken to a whole new level. You couldn't even think about what life would be like without him - even it was only a couple weeks since you had been officially started dating.

When it came down to it, he was your best friend first, and losing him without the addition of a relationship would have broken you. Now, you felt as if a literal piece of you would go missing if he left.

"(Y/N)," Gar dragged out your name. You were sprawled across the couch with a bowl of popcorn by your side. Everyone else was out that night which meant that you and Gar had the whole place to yourselves. You decided to take advantage of the big screen and have a much needed, relaxing, movie night. "You're taking up the whole couch."

"I know," You smirked at him. The popcorn was moved out of the way and you opened your arms up for Gar to lay beside you. He grinned and nearly leaped into the space. Gar covered your face in kisses before landing on your lips for a quick peck. You were completely encased by him and the blanket.

This was the first time that you had the tower all to yourselves and you had to admit that you were a little more than excited. Your mind wandered to everything that the two of you could be doing and you weren't sure where you wanted to start. Gar had decided for the both of you with a movie night.

He picked some sort of comedy movie that was sure to be filled with cringe-worthy jokes and raunchy humor - exactly what the two of you needed. After the rest of the team figured out that you two were dating - which didn't didn't long - they had endlessly teased you for it. Rachel bugged you with every chance she got, Dick lectured you as if you were still kids, and Jason... he was a little frustrated at the situation.

Gar knew about Jason's feelings towards you, but he also knew that you were nothing but a conquest for him. He didn't want to date you - he wanted to sleep with you. That wasn't who you were, and Gar knew it. As much as he was worried about Jason taking you from him, he knew that he trusted your more than anyone.

Throughout the movie, Gar couldn't keep his hands off of you. The rested on your waist, played with your hair, intertwined with your fingers, and once he even dared to try and tickle you. You never realized how much of a touchy person he really was until dating him. You didn't mind - not when it came to him.

Even when you got up to go get another drink for yourself, he followed behind you with is arms around your waist making it much harder to walk anywhere. Gar had gotten you, and he wasn't planning on letting you go anytime soon.

Just before the movie ended, Jason had come back to the tower. Neither of you had heard him come in until he loudly groaned at the sight of you. You were still wrapped up with Gar, not even paying attention to the movie as you left kisses up his neck. It distracted him enough from both the movie and Jason.

"Seriously guys? Get a fucking room," Jason complained. Gar had nearly fell off the couch in surprise and you couldn't help but giggle. PDA was something that never bothered you, at least not nearly as much as it bothered Gar.

"Sorry, Jay," you apologized. "Movie's almost over. You can stick around for another one if you want."

"Hard pass," Jason rolled his eyes. "I'll watch a movie with you another night though." You could tell from the tone in his voice that he meant you, and only you. Jason never had a particular problem with Gar until the second you two started dating. It was more evident than ever that he didn't like the younger man.

"Yeah, maybe another time," you partially brushed him off. His smile held hope that what you said was true. Jason gave you a little wink before heading back to his own room. "He's impossible."

"Tell me about it," Gar rolled his eyes. He pecked your lips once more and was caught off by a yawn. You giggled a little at him - the sound of it lit up his face. Gar was absolutely entranced by every sound and movement you made. "Do you wanna stay over in my room tonight?"

"No offense Gar, but last time I stayed in your room I was up half the night sneezing from your tiger hair," you tried to hold back a laugh. "However, you are more than welcome - if not encouraged - to stay in my room tonight."

"It's not my fault I shed!" Gar laughed with you. "I guess I'm going to have to take you up on that offer." He leaned down to peck you - but you had kept him close and deepened the kiss. Your hands ran through his green hair and enticed a quiet moan as you tugged on the roots.

"Guys! Seriously!" Jason yelled. He had come back to the kitchen to get a glass of water only to see the two of you making out on the couch. That was his breaking point. He could deal with the hand holding, the hugs, even the pecks. But seeing the two of you make out on the couch where he sat, too? That was far past his limits.

Jason scowled at the two of you. His eyes darted between you and the mess of Gar's hair that you made. He was not impressed - that was easy to tell.

"I'm tired of seeing you two together! It's non-fucking stop," Jason expressed himself. You knew he had been upset at you and Gar for getting together, but you didn't think that he was holding this much back. "Grow the fuck up, there's other people living here too this isn't just your home. You don't see me having girls hanging off my arm everywhere do you? No. Stop being so, so gross!"

Jason stormed off leaving the two of you to sit there in shock. Jason was jealous of your relationship with Gar. He always had a crush on you - you knew that from the start. However, seeing the two of you together being a cute couple? You didn't realize how badly this could hurt his feelings.

As much of an asshole that Jason was, he didn't deserve for you and Gar to rub your relationship in his face.  And it wasn't like you meant to. Everything with Gar just flowed so easily, you barely even noticed that you were shoving your relationship down everyone's throats. However, the other's didn't see it that way, only Jason.

"I feel bad," you muttered. Gar rested his back against the couch as you snuggled into his side.

"Why?"

"Jason's always been nice to me, I don't want to stop being friends with him just because we're dating," you explained yourself. Gar squeezed your shoulder and kissed the top of your head. He didn't realize he could care for you even more since the short few weeks that you two had been dating.

Gar wanted you to have the world. He always wanted that for you. It seemed that every day his only task was to make you smile at least once. Whether it was him being his usual nerdy self, or surprising you with something he found in the store. He always managed to make you happy, and he wanted to keep you that way.

If that meant that he would have to deal with you and Jason being friends, then so be it. Even if he was jealous as soon as the older man walked into the room, he trusted you. There was a reason that you choose him over Jason.

"You know Jason. He gets frustrated and he over reacts, I'm sure he'll cool down soon."

><

It took a while for Jason to cool down afterwards, but he eventually did. 

It seemed like he spent the next couple weeks trying to sabotage your relationship. Going extra hard on you at training, taking away your time with Gar to help him with something, even getting one of you to do some stupid mundane task for him to split you apart.

He was trying his best to prove that he was right, you two didn't belong together. Yet, it seemed like after every pursuit he had, it seemed to only bring you closer together. You and Gar were the opposite of what Jason believed you to be - you were perfect together. While you brought out more confidence within Gar, he kept you grounded.

The two of you may have been polar opposites, but that didn't mean that you were any less good for each other. Jason had to learn that the hard way - and he did. It took him a while to see that you two were truly meant to be together. Even after all of his frustrated comments and actions, he realized that he was wrong.

Which was why after shamefully telling you that Gar wasn't good enough for someone like you, he had finally broke. Jason had seen the heartbroken look on Gar's face when he walked in just at the wrong time and the rage filled look on yours. He had known he messed up the second the words came out of his mouth.

That night you had spent the night with Gar wrapped around your arms and his head on your chest, telling him repeatedly that there was no one else that you would rather be with than him.   He felt like Jason was right - he wasn't good enough for someone like you. Gar couldn't be more wrong.

"Gar, don't listen to him. You said yourself, Jason's jealous, he's gonna say stupid shit that he doesn't mean," you assured. Your fingers ran through his hair in hopes to comfort him. "Beside's what's it matter what he thinks? It's me 'n you right? That's all that matters."

"Still doesn't mean I don't feel shitty," Gar grumbled. He buried his head into the blanket covering you both and sighed.

"You want me to go beat him up?" You asked, only half joking. Gar just let out a grunt in response. You hoped that the comment would have made him feel better. "I know what's gonna make you believe me that what Jason said was bull," you suddenly came up with.

Gar peaked his head out from the blanket just enough to stare up at you. He knew the look on your face and that it meant that you were up to no good. There were many things running through your mind as to how you could prove this to him - many of them ideas where you knew you'd need to lock your door - but this one in particular was nothing like that.

You ripped the blanket off of you and headed over to your dresser. Gar watched as you rummaged through to find whatever it was that you wanted. His gaze went from your bare legs all the way up your body - followed by a tinge of pink on his cheeks.

Rain pattered against your window and filled the silence in the room. Finally, you pulled out a small CD case which contained a singular disk. Gar looked at you with raised eyebrows, but you said nothing as you went to the old player in the corner of your room and popped it in.

A grin fell on your cheeks as the music began. You spun around to face Gar and stuck your hand out for him to grab. "Dance with me?" You asked. Gar matched your smile and accepted your hold. "This is the playlist from my parent's wedding... Haven't been able to listen to it in a long time but I figured if there's anyone I would want to listen to it with, it's you."

Your hand was encased in his, the other on his shoulder while his was on your hip. The two of you slowly paced around your room. Your head rested against his chest and you couldn't help but sway a little to the beat. This was perfect, these were the moment that you would forever cherish with Gar.

As the song neared ending, your looked up to meet his eyes. They were glassy, but held no sadness within them. You let go of his hand and placed both of your palms against his cheeks. Gar leaned into your touch. You cranked your chin up to meet his lips.

This kiss had been different than the rest of them. This was slow, each second filled with every ounce of adoration you had for this boy. You wanted him to know that he had no reason to fear for Jason, it was him that you wanted. Gar was everything to you, and upon realizing that in only a matter of weeks? It had to mean that this was going to be permanent.

You pulled away from the kiss. Gar was grateful for you. You knew how to cheer him up even when he didn't realize that he needed it. You knew him better than he thought, and that was what his weakness was. You were his weakness.

"Believe me now? Garfield Logan?" You asked.

"I think I'm going to need another kiss, just to be sure."

"I think I can manage that."

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 10

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut

Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?

What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.5k

< masterpost >

»»————- <<prev | next >> ————-««

  Red, Red, Brownish? Brown, I guess.

Well, things had definitely taken a turn.

Brown, even darker brown.

Was my brain even working? It had been days, but I still didn’t even know the answer to that question. Ever since I had returned to my apartment that night, things had been hard to grasp. The cogs were in tiny pieces, littering the floor inside my head.

Brown, brown.

My finger stopped and tapped the can in front of my eyes, almost as if trying to calibrate my scattered thoughts and feelings at the same time.

Black. 

Okay, so now my life had truly reached a peak of existence. People very rarely lived their dreams, but here I was. A very much living and breathing instance of such luck.

I’d expressed my shaken gratitude to Bang PD right before he had to go. He had many important things to see to back at his company, and I had no intentions of keeping him waiting in the carpark just because I couldn’t flounder any more with my words. I really hoped he would forgive me for my moments of delay...in the mind, at least.

“You’re a blessing.”

Am I a blessing? I think I’m just the blessed one here.

The plastic bag was gently taken from my fingers and I looked up to see the slightly concerned gaze of the stylist raking over me. “Are you okay, (Y/n)-ah?”

I smiled and shook my head in pure disbelief. “I’m sure I’m fine. Sorry if I seem a bit dazed, it’s not something to be worried about.”

The stylist tilted her head fondly, and I rolled my eyes when she jerked her hand forward to pinch my right cheek. “You’re so cute, please say you’ll stay with us for a bit longer?”

I frowned and looked down pointedly at my wristwatch, seeing that my small break was almost due to finish up. The hopeful tinge alighting the taller woman’s eyes flickered out as I sighed and shook my head.

“Sorry, I have work to do. And this room is slowly killing me, I swear,” I whined to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t want the workers to feel sad just because I had to leave and do my actual job. The fact that most of my break had been spent driving down to the shop was sad enough on its own.

“You know we’re trying to get better ventilation,” another woman piped up from where she was organising makeup supplies, and I smiled when every person in the room let out an amused groan simultaneously.

“Our lungs are a small price to pay,” a male stylist snorted with disdain.

I left the room to joke amongst themselves, having already spending way too much of my time in there as it was. The basement was becoming like a second workplace, but it was only because I finished my jobs as an interpreter quite swiftly as the day went on. Practical things like interviews were happening rarely at this point in time, but I knew once the boys had their comeback, things would change greatly.

I passed the brightened practice room as usual and smiled to see some of the boys already delving right into their daily routines. This time, every single one of them could be seen warming up to the sound of the choreographer’s snappy instructions. I felt proud and awed at the sight of their determination to practice so hard, getting every minuscule move down to the point of perfection.

“Hello.”

I grunted with surprise as my attention was torn away from the narrow door window. I hadn’t even realised I’d stopped to observe through the glass, but now a deep and somnolent voice had broken me from the trance.

“Yoongi, damn you’re quiet.” I laughed airily, resisting the urge to clasp at my chest to calm the rapidly beating heart contained within. I glanced at the man in front of me, noting his attire to be fairly casual but sporty at the same time. His faded hair was partially hidden under a black cap. I remembered him mentioning it was due for a cut sometime soon.

“Sorry, but you’re just too easy to scare. You remind me of Hoseok-ah.” He smiled a tiny smile and leaned forwards to glance into the practice room. I watched as his facial expression grimaced slightly.

“You don’t want to head in yet?” I took a few steps, so I was out of the door window's view, and leaned against the adjacent wall. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything sly or sluggish, but it was quite clear that he was reluctant.

“It’s not that,” he began, and I was surprised when he moved to stand in front of me slowly. It seemed he also didn’t want to be accidentally seen by the other members practising inside the room. “I’m just being lazy, and I already practised so much yesterday that I’m worn out already by looking at them.”

I knew that wasn’t entirely true, as the rapper had a lot of stamina when it came to spending long hours at a time performing. Just as they all did, in fact.

“Poor you, why don’t you take a few minutes to chat with me then?” I suggested jokingly, and saw him raise an eyebrow before grinning with amusement. That gummy smile could literally brighten any of my gloomy days.

“If you insist.” He nodded thoughtfully, and I held back a betrayed gasp at how quickly he’d turned the situation around to be in his favour. All that escaped was an abrupt noise of protest, and he laughed again at my widened eyes.

“I seriously did want to talk with you though.”

He looked down, but his voice remained of the same calm levelled tone. He messed around with the drink bottle in his hands while I nodded and rested my back against the wall more comfortably.

“It’s about the other night. I actual...I actually wanted to thank you.”

My mind slowed to process his words. He had lifted his gaze to meet mine intently, and I was so surprised to see how much their inky depths had softened from their initial sharpness. I couldn’t help but suddenly notice how much livelier he looked, compared to when I had taken him on a car ride that one time.

“The concert night? I think I have more to thank all of you for.” I smiled at the thought, memories of the experience flooding right back through me.

“While that is true, I wanted to thank you for what you did for Jimin,” he continued on a serious note, his hands fiddling even more with the plastic bottle. I knew it was hard for him to open up to others so quickly into a conversation, let alone admit the vulnerabilities he and his bandmates shared. I only wished I could communicate how grateful I was for the sentiment.

“When he gets like that, I must admit that it confuses me a lot. We all know he works the hardest to be the best he can, and even then he has this belief that it’s never enough. I don’t think I can ever understand where he gets the negativity from, but in his mind he views the smallest mistake as something bigger.”

I nodded in agreement, but felt sickeningly bad at the same time. I didn’t want to talk too deeply about Jimin and his insecurities when he wasn’t there to hear my thoughts. I wasn’t sure why, but it just felt rude for me to launch into something I had so much to say on.

“I just wanted to thank you for the comfort. I mean, we all have our doubts especially when it comes to performing, but I’m glad you were there for him when we couldn’t see it,” Yoongi finished bluntly, and I knew he had a similar feeling of guilt when it came to talking about the younger member. It truly moved me to hear his outward display of care and appreciation.

“I’m… so happy you’re saying this, I’d love nothing more than to be honest with all of you and let you guys know just how talented and inspirational you are. The doubts will probably never go away, but I believe they can be changed with hard work and confirmation. That – That's why I’ll try and provide that in any way that I can.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened the smallest fraction before they returned to normal, and I didn’t miss the sharp exhalation that fell from his lips as he cast his gaze downwards.

“Wow, you…”

He stopped and I watched as his face broke out into a shy smile before he sniffed and continued to smile while looking straight at me instead. I hoped I hadn’t overwhelmed him too much.

“That’s all we can ask for, thank you. I literally don’t know what else to say.”

“It’s fine, I don’t expect anything more in return,” I chuckled to break any deep and emotional tension resting on our shoulders.

“Just keep making music. We love it as much as you do, I hope you know that.”

Yoongi nodded, a proud smirk working its way gently onto his face.

“Well that goes without saying, I don’t think I could ever stop.”

I glanced my head to the side, watching to see if anyone was approaching before pouting.

“If you did, I think I would have to file a complaint. You’d have more than a few hundred girls suing you then.”

He raised both brows and huffed quietly. “Would I now? My money is disappearing before my eyes.”

My giggle was cut short as the door to the room opened and the bright light filtered out into the hallway where we were talking. A curious Namjoon appeared and held the door open as he trailed his eyes from me to Yoongi, then back to me.

“Hey (Y/n).” He dipped his head formally, then turned a questioning glance to his older bandmate.

“How long have you been out here, hyung?”

Yoongi looked around aloofly and shrugged, turning on his heel to start making his way through the door. Namjoon looked taken aback, and as a result I covered my mouth with one hand to stifle a snort of amusement.

“Sorry, it was my fault for making him chat,” I explained while calming down, waving my hand in an apologetic manner. Yoongi paused with pursed lips.

“Well, I talked, so it was both our fault.”

Namjoon also shrugged and looked behind his shoulder quickly.

“Well, you know how he gets when you’re too late,” the leader warned with a hushed tone so nobody inside would hear him. Yoongi nodded in a brooding thought before turning back to where I was still standing pressed against the wall.

“See you (Y/n).”

I waved my goodbye and returned Namjoon’s small nod of acknowledgement before the door was slowly brought to a close once more. The air of the hallway felt colder now that I was left alone in it, and I shivered before rushing over to the elevator doors to make my escape.

~

The day was now drawing closer to nightfall. I blinked my eyes tiredly at the computer screen in front of me, barely having had any rest for the past couple of nights just because I was positively brimming with excitement over the thought of touring. I really wanted to bring it up with the boys to hear their thoughts, but the earlier conversation with Yoongi hadn't been the right time or place really. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut forever, so it was either they found out some other way or watched as I inched my way into their day to day schedules; ready to let the cat out of the bag.

I finished up a few translating tasks that were sent via email and breathed a deep sigh at the sight of sent work. It was somewhat a struggle to remember the last time I’d experienced such an intense sense of release. At least now I could go home and treat myself to some wine and snacks whenever I pleased.

“(Y/n), I just got a message from downstairs,” one of the other office workers said with a slightly confused expression painting his features. “Said they had a surprise?”

I hummed suspiciously before standing up straight and letting the wheeling chair roll away behind me. My hair, which had fallen out from being tied up all day, now flowed over my shoulders in an uncontrollable manner. I let my eyes gain a dramatic glint.

“If I don’t come back, call the police.”

The man laughed before shaking his head, and I smiled before packing up my desk and preparing to head to the elevator yet again. How many trips had I done just today?

I seriously need to pick a place to work and stay there.

The ride down seemed to take milliseconds, as I was so full of anticipation that time lost all presence. What were the stylists meaning by surprise? This could literally be anything, so I was a little scared to be completely honest.

I nervously shifted from foot to foot once halted outside the large door, raising one tentative hand to rap lightly on its surface.

To say I was unprepared would be an understatement and a half.

The door drifted ajar with an audible creak and I jumped when Seokjin’s face appeared from around the edge. He looked worn out from the day of practising, but the tall singer instantly broke into a grin when he saw me loitering outside the entryway.

“Hey (Y/n)!”

Then his face fell as he threw a quick glance into the room behind him.

“Um, what brings you here?”

Things were weird, I could tell by the way he was purposefully holding the door to block off my curiously wandering eyes.

“Oh, (Y/n)-ah! Come in, come in!” The excitable voice of my stylist unni broke through the heavily guarded atmosphere, and I watched as Seokjin furrowed his brows in semi-protest. It seemed like he truly didn’t want me to see what was happening behind the door, but it was obvious he was going to lose the battle one way or another.

“Hyung let her in!” 

Taehyung’s voice now perked up from somewhere within the room, and I couldn’t let the flames of my curiosity dwindle anymore. I giggled with triumph as Seokjin’s shoulders sagged in defeat. He swung the door open to let me pass following another two beats of hesitation. I wondered why he was so defensive, but soon learned when my eyes drank in the scene.

The boys were seated in front of the mirrors lining the makeup room, but some were walking around while either looking at their phones or chatting to stylists. Each one looked up when I entered the strongly scented space.

I tried to avoid crinkling my noise at the sharp aroma of dye, but the notion fell to the back of my mind when I fully registered the sight before me.

Because now, every single one had their hair coloured black. 

            Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

tagged: @joyful-jimin, @l4life, @gee-nee​, @m0chilattae​, @rossemayme​, @doilooklikeinoe​, @jeon-joker​, @topthis808​, @justyouraveragerando​,@xcastielbabyangelface​

[claymorecut]

Patrol

A/N: It's been ages since I Iast wrote a GinTsu fanfic. So, yeah. Here I am. Back with another gintsu fic I’ve been working on. I still am not very confident about my writing so...yeah. I'm sorry if the characters look too OOC. Hope you guys enjoy my somewhat average(?) writing ^_^!

*************

Tsukuyo’s patrols were nothing new to Gintoki.

Whether it was before the war or after, looking after Yoshiwara and Hinowa’s safety was her first priority. Everytime he visited, for one reason or another, he would see her, talk to her, have his usual silly argument and by nighttime hear her say “I’m out for patrol” to Hinowa before leaving the teahouse.

Yeah, it was her routine. Work. Some peace of mind. And then again, work. Really, was that woman going to work herself to death!?

It was gonna be the same this evening as well when Gintoki decided to visit Yoshiwara, simply because he was getting bored in his house all alone when the kids were away and he had nothing to do, literally. Arriving, he found Seita and Hinowa alone in the teahouse doing their work.

No signs of the drunk terminator.

It had happened before, many times, when he would visit and she wouldn’t be present, running across the district to chase away criminals. After all, unlike him, she was a pretty busy woman. And yet, he couldn’t held onto his curiosity a little longer.

“So, where is she?” Gintoki asked, sipping tea from his cup.

“Who knows."Hinowa replied. "She went out during noon, telling me she had some business to attend. But hasn’t returned yet.”

Gintoki continued to eat his dango while staring at the crowded street. Even Hinowa didn’t know where she was, and even if she did he wasn’t going to dig any further. It wasn’t his place to pry, after all.

“I think she visited his grave today.”

Hinowa’s words caught his attention as he stared back at her with his usual dead eyes. “It’s been four years today you know.”

***************

It was night by the time Gintoki finally decided to leave the tea house. Really, Hinowa perfectly knew how to bribe him with her oh-so-sweet smile and four strawberry parfaits. Smiles aside, he could never say no to parfaits! And so, he got stuck with Seita, helping him with his studies.

And the whole time, still no sign of Tsukuyo.

It was late already and Gintoki wasn’t really planning to stay the night there just for her sake. When Hinowa told him about her visit outside, he knew pretty well. No matter what happened that day, she still considered him her master. And forgave him for his sins as well. After all, he knew that feeling pretty well too.

Walking down the streets, he kept his gaze forward, glancing at the rooftops once in a while just to check whether she was there yet or not. Finally, he found someone standing on the rooftop of one of the high-top buildings, her figure glistening with moonlight as she took another puff from her kiseru. Without giving a second thought, he turned around that building to meet the infamous leader of Hyakka.

The least he could do was say hello.

***************

A gust of cold breeze relieved the night sky as the chitter-chatter continued on the streets of the former City of Nights. Amongst the voices and laughs was the sound of a certain someone wheezing in pain as he climbed the final step of the building.

Even the great Shiroyasha was no match against one hundred and fifty stairs. Seriously, where are the elevators in this building!?

Finally reaching the rooftop while cursing and panting, Gintoki stood there with one of his hand on his right knee and other on the rooftop door as he tried to calm his racing heart. He really didn’t want to admit it but he was growing old after all. Catching up his breath, he looked at the woman standing in front of him. Her back facing him as she continued to stare at the starry night sky, with the crescent-shaped moon shining above, partially lightening their surrounding.

“Out for patrol?"Gintoki asked, after finally composing himself.

Tsukuyo turned around in surprise to find the silver-haired samurai looking at her way. "Watcha doin’ here”?

"I guess I was the first one to ask."he replied, walking towards her.

Tsukuyo glared back as he now stood beside her. "Just had some business ta take care of.” She replied anyway.

Gintoki hmmed at her response. “What ‘bout ya? What brought ya here tonight?” She asked.

Grinning, he turned around to look at her with his response prepared. “Oh, nothing. Just thought you ladies must be missing your Gin-san so here I am. Paying you ladies a visit.”

Tsukuyo just smirked at his cocky response. “Ya were alone and gettin’ bored, weren’t ya?”

Gintoki couldn’t help those red fumes warming up on his face with embarrassment as she completely saw through his childish lie. “Yeah, yeah. I was getting bored and so just came here to look for some company.” He pouted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Got a problem with that?”

Tsukuyo could just smiled at his child-like behaviour. “Not at all.”

Gintoki glanced at the smiling woman as a peaceful silence soon surrounded them.

“So, how are you doin’?” He finally decided to speak.

“Same as ever.” Tsukuyo replied. “Got a lotta work ta do."

"You’re gonna work yourself to death, woman.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Gintoki rolled his eyes at her response. “Yeah. After you end up in some hospital bed.”

Tsukuyo lightly chuckled at his concerned behaviour. “I’ll be fine. Really.”

"Fine." He exhaled in defeat. Silence soon felp over between them as both continued to gaze at the former City of Night.

It was always like this; she was always like this. Strong-willed and determined, always trying to hold up on her own while a wall surrounded her. No matter how much someone tried, she would always keep that stoic face of hers, not letting anybody to see her vulnerable side. Not even to that man who’d seen her at her most broken state. Four years and still hasn’t changed.

“Hinowa was worried, ya know.” This caught Tsukuyo’s attention. “You skipped work today and haven’t been home since morning. It’s not like you.”

Tsukuyo heard the concern in his voice as guilt rushed over her. “Yeah…I just had somethin’ to do.” She replied, looking the other way.

Gintoki could easily detect the reluctance in her voice. Of course, she would do that. Feel guilty about it. The last thing she wanted to do was make anybody worry. Especially when she was being the center of their worry. He finally turned around to look at the woman standing beside him. “You’re killing yourself, you know that?”

It was Tsukuyo’s turn to look at him. And their eyes finally met.

“You can talk about things if you want.”

She always failed, always, when she found herself looking at those ruby irises as Tsukuyo could feel all her worry escape her mind, her walls slowly crumble, as she laid exposed in front of him again. But before it got too late, she caught up again, breaking herself free from that unnamed trance. Crossing her arms, she spoke in her usual monotonous voice. "Says the man who does exactly the same.”

Really. Now she was just getting on his nerves. “You’re being way too stubborn.”

“And you’re bein’ overly concerned.”

“Well, shouldn’t I be?”

For a second, Gintoki saw her flat, cold eyes dilate, a sense of guilt and..grief clouding her vision. But soon she turned away, no more facing him. Same. Always the same.

She really didn’t want to face him now of all people. “What do ya want, Gintoki?”.

“Nothin’.” Gintoki shrugged. “Just checking on a friend, that’s all. Unless…..you wanna go on a different route.”

“Just shut up.” Tsukuyo rolled her eyes at his very suggestive joke but the little smile that curled up on her lips was hard to resist. Afterall, he was always like this; would appear out of nowhere, crack lame jokes and make her smile at times where all she could think of was running away. Four years of being in love with this lazy-ass samurai, and she always ended up thinking this must be the craziest thing she had ever done in her entire life.

“So, where were you the whole day?” Gintoki asked, facing her yet again.

Just like always, straight to the point. “I visited Shishou’s grave today.”

“Oh.”

“It’s been four years today.” Although her voice reminded cold, her eyes spoke something else.

She still blamed herself for everything. Like always.

He remembered everything. Her bruised face, the fight with Jiraiya and the promise that he once made to her.

She killed her master to protect him. Back when Jiraiya stood behind him with his kunai ready in that abandoned temple, ready to stab him anytime. He knew he was a coward, just like that man. Running away from his cursed fate, running away from that pain. Running away from that one beautiful thing that he always wanted to protect. He remembered hearing a kunai stabbing, piercing the skin while the scent of fresh blood covered the entire room. Gintoki knew it was not him bleeding; and it was not Jiraiya who threw that kunai.

He remembered that look on her face. He remembered looking at her, as if he was looking at himself. Broken. And empty.

“That wasn’t your fault.” Gintoki didn’t know what he was saying but he just wanted to say something. He knew how heavy the burden was and now that she was here, he just didn’t want her to carry that all alone. "Please don't blame yourself, Tsukuyo."

It's not like Gintoki never called her by her name but it was still so rare. Their usual banters always made him call her a "hag" or "bitch" (and she'd stick to "perm head" or "bastard") and even when they're having a miraculous normal conversation like this, he preferred calling her "Tsukki", the beloved pet name that Kagura gave her, only to rile her up even more.

He preferred calling her Tsukuyo only when he was actually being serious.

"Thanks, Gintoki." Tsukuyo replied, a sorrowful smile forming on her lips.

From the corner of his eyes, Gintoki saw the stoic woman, her gaze still fixated on the city but a glint of regret and sorrow filling her eyes. She was a lady of few words; he knew she was never going to open up in front of anyone, let alone him. She might show the world that she was holding herself together but he knew too well how much she was hurting right now.

And right now, more than anything, he wanted to see her smile. Why, he had no idea, but his mind itched to look at her smiling face. It was rare but everytime she did smile in front of him, he couldn't help but just pray to whatever Gods that existed to let her smile like this more often. He didn't know what kind of magic her smile held but for some reason, he always found himself looking forward to that one smile. And deep down, before he even knew it, he found himself wanting to make her smile.

"I envied you."

Those words slipped his lips before he could even register it properly in his brain.

At his unusual confession, Tsukuyo found herself turning towards that man.

Gintoki couldn't understand why he decided to say this now out of all times. "Back then," he continued "I envied you. For how you strong really are."

Tsukuyo couldn't help the confounded look on her face as she heared him say those words.

"If it's the teacher's duty to carry the burden of their student then what's the student's duty? To grow strong enough to help carry the teacher's burden." Gintoki quoted her words; remembering her figure as she carried her master on her shoulder for the last time. "I always pushed people away, just like that man. I didn't want to bear that burden of losing anyone anymore. There was a time when I lost everything while protecting everything. And so I blamed myself. And the world. And even at times, the people I once cherished the most. Even when I met the kids and everyone else, I still felt like running away. I was still scared. And not strong enough to carry that burden. But that night," he took a deep breath, composing himself "you taught me something. Something which I was never able to understand. Or should I say, I didn't want to understand."

He glanced towards the woman standing beside him, her eyes bewildered and questioning as a small smile curled up on his lips. "I envied you because I realised I could never become like you. And that how kind and strong you really are and how much you've taught me. Those words, they were something that I guess I always wanted to hear. And this time, I was able to understand. So, thank you. For teaching me that."

Tsukuyo didn't know what to say.

She continued to look at the man with wide eyes as her heart soon was swelled with a number of overwhelming emotions. The amount of gratitude and respect that he expressed for her and how his kind words left her speachless; she wanted to thank him too. She wanted to thank him for all that he had done for them. For her. She wanted to scream, cry, smile and even jump in his arms because she knew how much it pained him to talk about his past. But still he remained there, trying to cheer her up. He always did. And she loved him for that.

"...I see." She replied, her eyes now looking down because she wasn't able to look at that man. "It's good ta hear that."

Gintoki's words must have boosted her spirits up but it wasn't always when he'd just come out of nowhere and start showing his gratitude towards her. And she still wasn't used to getting compliments from anyone, let alone him. And now, if she did look at him now, she knew she'd turn red or maybe even start crying because suddenly, her heart and mind was a mess. She was completely exposed, completely vulnerable under his gaze. However, it was her pride which helped her gain a little composure.

"So, ya were able ta carry the burden, huh?" She asked, calming herself a little.

"Yeah." He smiled, thinking of all the events that happened. He remembered his father, his friends, the kids, all the other people who stayed by him. And then there was her, standing right beside him. "Yeah, I was."

"Good ta hear that." She smiled, taking a puff from her kiseru and exhaling lightly as she tried to regain her composure. But before she could even let the heat escape her cheeks, she found herself pulled towards a warm chest as strong, wide arms held her close.

"Ginto-" she stammered, but was cut soon after.

"Shut it."

Tsukuyo heard the man whisper softly in her ears as her hand dangled awkwardly on her sides. His strong arms were wrapped around her torso as he pulled her closer. She was too surprised to give any kind of reaction at this point.

He didn't know what came to his mind. Maybe it was the stoic face which hid hundreds of wounds behind it. Or maybe it was her ice-cold eyes which had a look of surprise when he thanked her for all she had taught him. Or maybe the fact that how she'd take another smoke from her pipe just to relax herself a little. The little changes that he found himself looking at every single time he met her; how even after all those years, she never let herself see anyone. Even when they were burying Jiraiya's body next to his sister's at the cliff, her face and eyes remained unchanged. Even when she was betrayed, even when she suffered so much, she always remained strong and kind; she carried so much weight on her shoulders all alone and yet she never let herself fall apart. Neither did she decide to run away from her responsibilities. She was a role model, the Courtesan of Death everyone respected and feared. And she never let anyone look through the wall.

However, for some reason, he found himself wanting to break those walls.

It wasn't always when Sakata Gintoki just casually goes out sprinkling compliments on everyone, let alone pull someone right for a hug. But here he was, doing something completely out of charcacter. Physical affection wasn't really her thing but here she was, wrapped around the arms of the man she had fallen for. Of course she knew that he was worried about her and was trying to cheer her up but this...was highly unexpected.

"Stop carrying the burden all alone." He whispered in her ears.

And she flinched at his honest words."I told ya, ya have no right ta say that. Stop messin' with me."

It was once again when he saw right through her. When his arms pulled her closer, she felt so vulnerable, so naked, she wanted to go and hide somewhere. Yet, her mind and heart didn't tell her to stop. As if this place was a sanctuary and she had nothing else to fear. Before she could think any further, Tsukuyo found her arms wrapping around his neck as she buried her face in his chest. "Idiot. Why're ya always here."

It was more of a statement than a question. "Told you the reason already."

She chuckled at his usual, nonchalant voice. "Yeah, getting bored at home. I know."

He didn't know when he got this comfortable with her in his arms but to his suprise as well, he found himself burying his face in her neck as his nose lightly brushed her skin. "Yup. Something like that."

At that moment, they couldn't exactly pinpoint what were they feeling. But somehow, the sense of want and intimacy through this little gesture never felt so familiar.

"Thanks. Fer everythin'." Her voice was low as she clutched his kimono tightly. "Fer always bein' there and fer always coming back."

He smiled, now gently putting his chin on her head. "Thanks for waiting." He could feel her smile through his fabric.

Tsukuyo didn't know why she was crying; whether the tears now escaping her eyes were of joy or sorrow. But even so, crying in his arms did not feel forgein for some reason. As if she had cried a thousand times in his arms.

"Now don't rub your snot on my kimono. I washed it yesterday." He teased gently as he now felt small droplets of tear drench his kimono a little.

A chuckle escaped her lips as she gently nudged him on the arm, her ears listening to his almost steady heartbeat. "But weren't ya the one who told me that I could cry with a runny nose."

Ah. She remembered. "Well, aren't you a whiny one. Fine. But only for tonight. Don't get too comfy, you drunk terminator. "

"Oh I won't, ya asshole."

"Too bad you're hugging an asshole right now, Tsu-ki."

"Oh? Well, who was it who pulled me first, I wonder?"

"Just shut it, you hag."

"Back at ya, perm."

They didn't know whether it was the night, the breeze or just their warmth that kept them holding onto each other for so long. Maybe it was the mutual feelings shared between those two. Or was it really was night and the stars that made them share their secrets, they didn't know. It might be too cliche to say that time stopped for those two but even in that little moment, they were able to found years of serendipity in each other's arms. As if that was only thing that reminded buried deep within until then.

This moment couldn't be anymore poetic.

Maybe, joining her on her patrols wasn't half-bad. After all, even fierce individuals like them sometimes need a shoulder to lean on.

-------×××--------

[jamaisvuandyou]

Please Dry My Eyes: Part 2

Description: Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi have had a running streak of bad luck, but Jin isn’t sure what to make of this one: His old friend’s trickery that leads to him being the new father of a little toddler, Jeon Jungkook.

Posted: 05/28/2020

WARNING: Brief mentions of suicide.

Angst: 2,068 words

A/N: Sorry it’s so late, someone on Ao3 demanded I update soon and so my brain rebelled against me. And I’ve had a busy week.

Previous Part.  Next Part.

Jin still felt like he could use a drink, or eight.

Hoseok gingerly tested the couch. “He left a note, right?”

“Yeah. He said the pressure was too much. Said that everything would be better off, everyone would be better off. Said there were some videos for his son on the flash drive in his desk. Apologized to him and me. Basically told Jungkook's mother’s parents to F-off because he wasn’t going to let them abuse Jungkook the way they did his mother.”

“Wow. That’s it? That’s all he wrote?”

“There were more expletives and a long winded argument as to why they shouldn’t fight the arrangements he’s made. He was a lawyer. Had to make sure his work wasn’t fought.” Jin rubbed his forehead, panic welling up in him. He was a parent now and he wasn’t even the one who had gotten the girl pregnant.

“There. That was the last box. We’re all moved in. It’s kind of sad that we can pack and unpack our belongings in less than a day.” Hobi had arranged the few house decorations that they had on the coffee table and side tables. 

After rushing to the scene with Yoongi last night, and giving statements to the police until the wee hours of morning, they’d gone home, slept for half an hour before Yoongi had to rush to work, then Jin and Yoongi spend a few hours packing up and the last hour unpacking in the new place. Thankfully, Hobi’s friend from the dance studio had a car and had been more than happy to help transfer their things. But most of their furniture they just took to the dumpster.

They hadn’t given Hoseok the full details, partially because it was horrific and Jin just couldn’t deal with it yet and partially because they were both so exhausted that Hoseok just let them leave it at that until about fifteen minutes ago when Jin finally started explaining everything. Hoseok had only mildly inquired about what was going on, and Jin figured he needed to at least know the important bits.

“Your shoes working for you?”

Hoseok looked up at him warmly. “Yeah. Thanks, Hyung. I know you were buying them before all of this happened. It means a lot. Really.”

Jin just patted his arm. “You needed them.”

“We also needed food and coffee, but you got me the shoes.” Hobi hugged him, not satisfied.

Jin just smiled and laughed a little.

That made Hoseok smile up at him. “There. Better. You looked like you were ready to jump off a building in panic.”

Jin winced, the image of blood popping up in his mind.

“Oh…” Hobi squeezed tighter. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

Jin just nodded, sighing shakily. “If I had paid attention…”

“Hyung, he was determined. He would have ended up somewhere they could monitor him and he could convince them that he was fine and then what? There’s nothing you could have done.”

“I enabled him.”

“Jungkook will be better off with you, Hyung. I know he will.”

Jin leaned against his younger for a moment, uncertain of everything that was ahead of him.

The doorbell rang.

They looked at each other and then Jin got up and answered it. “Hello.”

“I’m Namjoon, Jungkook’s caseworker. And this—“ he looked at the toddler in his arms. “Is Jungkook.”

Jin smiled. “Hi, Jungkook.”

“Jinnie,” he murmured, looking quizzical.

Jin blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I’m Jinnie.”

Jungkook smiled and shyly reached out for him.

Jin smiled again as he took the toddler into his arms. “Hey, buddy. You know who I am?”

“Jinnie,” he mumbled again, tucking his face into Jin’s shoulder and clutching his shirt tightly.

“From what I understand, his dad has been showing him pictures of you. Saying you’re his uncle.” Namjoon looked stressed. “How long ago did you actually find out? Because he filed everything a week ago, but he was pretty insistent about not bothering you until everything was certain.”

Jin debated silently on how to answer.

“It won’t change anything. The paperwork is solid and your background check came up clean. There was your recent job, but he informed me of it yesterday and said that you weren’t actually at fault. Jungkook is yours. Completely. Provided you don’t become an unfit guardian.”

Jin sighed. “He asked me yesterday. He sent me fake contracts so I could read through them and had me sign the ones he actually wanted me to sign. I trusted him. When we realized…” he swallowed hard. “It was too late. His lawyer said we were clear to move in here since everything was official and submitted before he died.”

Namjoon just nodded. “Here’s my phone number. For now you need to call me whenever he needs to see the doctor. You don’t need to call for his appointment this Friday. It was scheduled before. More like, if he gets sick or hurt, just so that I can make sure that he’s being properly taken care of and keep on top of paperwork.”

Jin took his card, and stepped aside so Namjoon could set Jungkook’s diaper bag down.

“The rest of his stuff is in my trunk.”

“I’ll help you,” Hoseok said. “I’m Jin’s roommate, Hoseok. Or, I guess I’m his tenant now.”

Jin rolled his eyes. “Roommate. I’m already freaking out, don’t threaten me with the stress of having you pay me rent.”

Namjoon chuckled sympathetically.

Jin watched the cute toddler peek out at him sleepily, before rubbing his face back into Jin’s shoulder. Jin gently rubbed Jungkook’s back, noticing how much Jungkook relaxed with it.

Hoseok and Namjoon brought in two suitcases.

Namjoon slid one open partially and pulled out a stuffed animal. “This is his Nunny and Jungkook can’t sleep without it.”

Jin took the bunny when Jungkook looked around at the name of his toy, tucking it in between Jungkook and himself. He smiled when he saw Jungkook smile a very little before his eyes slipped shut and he was out like a light.

Jin closed his eyes, rubbing the boys back and savoring the warmth he radiated.

Namjoon looked through something on his phone, then went into the diaper bag and pulled out a picture frame containing a photo of Jungkook’s parents in it. “I’m sure there are more photos somewhere, but I thought it was important he have at least one of both of them together.

Jin nodded. “Thanks.”

Hoseok took it, setting it on a shelf that they had no chance of filling considering they’d unpacked just about everything they owned.

“Alright, if you have any questions or problems, just give me a call. I’ve been working with Jungkook for a while and he can be a little particular.” He checked on the boy in Jin’s arms one last time, then looked at Jin. “Really though, I can tell you’ll be good for him. He hasn’t fallen asleep that easily since I don’t know when. He does walk a bit, but his speech is a little behind as well as some of his fine motor skills. He still struggles to feed himself, but he’s getting better.”

“Alright, I’ll work with him on that.”

“Okay then, I’m off. Good luck.” Namjoon seemed a little hesitant to leave, but stroked Jungkook’s head one last time before heading out the door.

Hoseok shut the door, having followed Namjoon out for a moment. “So, you’re a dad now.”

Jin shivered. “He’s so small, Hoseok.”

Hoseok nodded, coming close and stroking the boy’s hair. “Namjoon is right. You’ll be good for him. I’m going to take his suitcases to his room. You want me to unpack?”

“No, I want to do it so I can find everything easily when you’re at work tomorrow.”

“Good point. Just sit down. Cuddle your kid.” He chuckled. “Oh God, hyung. Your kid.”

“My kid. My Jungkook. That’s a mouthful.”

“JK?”

“Mmm, I was thinking Kookie,” Jin countered, sitting down on the couch (it’s been forever since they had a couch and he was so excited) and relaxing so he could hold Jungkook properly. The toddler was sound asleep, one of the bunny ears gripped tightly in one of his hands and Jin’s shirt in the other. “I’m sure we’ll probably use both as he grows.”

Hoseok sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep.”

“I know. I’ve gotten used to your elbow in my side, and Yoongi stealing the covers. We can ease out of it, I think.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” He headed toward the door and opened it just as Yoongi was getting ready to knock. “It was unlocked.”

“Oh. Whoa,” He looked around with surprise. He took off his shoes before taking a few tentative steps in. He looked at a loss for words, finally settling with, “Our stuff must look so out of place here.”

“Mostly things just look empty,” Hoseok answered. “Glad there was a bed though, because ours literally fell apart while we were transporting it out of the apartment and a spring came through our mattress. So, hope you’re okay with the mattress that was here. We also decided to just throw out most of the other furniture. Kept the dining room table. Oh, and hyung being a dad is already weird.”

Yoongi nodded, then saw Jin and the curled up toddler. “He’s even smaller than I imagined. What’s his name again?”

“Jungkook.”

“Right. Um, do you want me to make lunch?”

“That’d be great, Yoongi,” Jin replied, smiling. There was something really soothing about holding Jungkook so close as he slept. Feeling his even breaths and the beating of his heart. The quiet little sounds he made now and then.

“You look ready for a nap,” Hoseok chuckled softly.

“I feel ready for one. But I’m getting hungry and this one will be hungry sooner or later. Something simple. Maybe a grilled cheese?” He needed a nap, honestly. He’d been going since yesterday and his nap this morning wasn’t exactly enough to satisfy his need for sleep.

“Can do.” Yoongi got a good look at Jungkook and smiled. “He’s cute.” Then he headed into the kitchen to make lunch.

Jin smiled down at the kiddo, then kissed the ultra-soft baby hair. He was adorable, and so very soft and squishy.

Jungkook stirred, blinking up at Jin and then pulling his Nunny closer and peeking out at the world. “Jinnie.”

Jin pressed a kiss to the boy’s chubby cheek. “Are you hungry, Jungkookie?”

He nodded cutely, lips puckering cutely as he curiously watched Yoongi and Hoseok move around the kitchen.

“You want to go see what Yoongi and Hoseok are making?” Jin asked, getting up. If he didn’t move he was going to fall asleep, and that would throw him off for the rest of the evening.

Jungkook nodded again, hand turning into a fist around Jin’s shirt.

Jin chuckled and carried him to a kitchen. “Hobi, Yoongi, look who’s awake.”

Hoseok turned and smiled. “Ah! Hi, Jungkookie!”

Jungkook gasped and buried his face in Jin’s shoulder and neck, bringing up his bunny to hid behind as well.

Jin gave him a little squeeze. “It’s okay, Jungkook. Hobi is just happy to see you.”

“I wanted to play with you later, if that’s okay,” Hoseok said softly. “We can go play outside.”

Jungkook shook his head, not even peeking out.

Jin exchanged worried looks with the other two. “Okay, well, we can play with your Nunny later if you want.”

Jungkook just whined a bit and wiggled in Jin’s grip. He wiggled until Jin set him down, still clinging to Jin’s sleeve, but standing and looking around poutily. He looked up at Jin, lip wobbling and arms going up.

Jin sighed, but smiled as he picked up the toddler. “You’re just not sure about any of this, are you, kiddo?” He pressed a little kiss to Jungkook’s forehead.

“Jinnie,” He mumbled, clutching the collar of Jin’s shirt. “Nunny?”

“It’s on the floor. We’re going to have dinner. Some yummy grilled cheese and some applesauce.”

Hoseok picked it up and handed it to him so he wouldn’t have to try and pick it up.

“Ju?”

Jin thought for a moment. “Ju-ice?”

“Ju,” Jungkook nodded.

“Okay, I think I have some orange juice, how does that sound?”

He looked up at Jin, blinking, wet eyes looking completely lost.

“Well, we’ll just try it. You want to sit next to me, Jungkookie?” He offered, heading to the high-chair that had been in the closet but now sat beside the table.

Jungkook just mumbled Jin’s name again, but didn’t protest when Jin put him in the highchair. He just sort of looked at the table of the high chair and watched Jin as he got the sippy cup of juice, the container of applesauce, and the plate with the grilled cheese sandwich.

Jin sat down beside Jungkook, setting the cup and applesauce down.

“Can he feed himself?” Yoongi asked.

“We’re about to find out,” Jin answered, putting the spoon into the applesauce.

Jungkook grabbed the spoon, but was playing with it more than eating.

Jin hummed to himself, gently taking the spoon from Jungkook and feeding him a bit of applesauce.

Jungkook readily opened his mouth to take it.

“Yeah, don’t think he knows how to feed himself yet. Are you sure you can feed him the grilled cheese sandwich?” Hoseok asked, taking a seat with his own sandwich.

“Could you cut it up into small bites while I feed him the applesauce?”

He nodded, sitting and taking a knife to the sandwich.

“What should we do for dinner, hyung?” Yoongi asked, checking the cupboards.

“Rice, and whatever else we can think of. I don’t know, I don’t think I was as ready as I thought.” Jin shook his head and helped Jungkook eat another spoonful of applesauce.

“Jinnie,” Jungkook continued to babble Jin’s name between bites, seeming at least a little happy. But Jin still wanted to see the boy smile.

“You’ll figure it out, hyung. We all will,” Hoseok said optimistically, hugging Jin’s shoulders and head from behind.

Jin’s eyes widened as Jungkook burst into tears and made grabby hands at Jin without any sort of explanation. Just a continued wail of “Jinnie!”

Yoongi covered his ears while Jin tried to calm the child. “Sooner rather than later, hopefully.”

–

Previous.  Next.

Masterlist.

[trpg-dingusmaster]

+ 2 new DMs

The .... 13yo? Kid in the group wanted to try being dm. This is the second time.

The actual first time I’ve only heard about, but I guess it was very bad and honestly I’m not surprised because he was taking bad contradictory advice from the worst sources. Some of the advice was like... not even at all anything those guys even do? Like. “I give my players absolute freedom! I plan nothing!” Honey.... honey no you don’t. You plenty often rewrite every persons character backstory and then railroad us for 3 1/2 hours to accomplish what could have just been a 5 minute explanation.

Stuff like that.

So, you know. He followed this shit advice and the shit advice of overly complicated home brew mechanics and rules and nonsense and world building even though the game already has rules that mostly work. They were tested at least by people and not just a few dice roll generators.

He made up a complicated world and weird rules but didn’t plan anything and was shocked and frustrated when the players did what players do without direction (hell even if they do have direction??? Honestly???) and nobody ended up having any fun. Everyone was confused and annoyed and obviously it was a bad time.

He was actually banned from dming again until he had a solid plan of action and accepted that players will always make a mess SOMEHOW. Which is weird to me because that doesn’t sound anything different than some of the other games that have gone on and nobody stopped those guys from running games without planning or practice communicating. But whatever I guess.

For a couple weeks this kid was made fun of and bothered about this fiasco which.... I mean was only partially his fault. Like. He did exactly what he was told and surprise surprise it didn’t work out just like it doesn’t work for the guys who told him that shit but they do it anyway.

Then he comes in last week and says: I have a plan. I want to run this pregenerated adventure but you can make your own characters but only use stuff from the core 3 books for now. It’s an official wotc adventure made for learning how to play and I think it’ll be a good way for me to learn how these things work.

The response?

Largely negative. Though the one who initiated the ban of course allowed the game to happen and supported it. The guys who gave him the shitty advice though? Kept giving him shitty advice and were not understanding that: wotc content does not equal AL play. Like. They couldn’t grasp this at all for a weirdly long time.

While they puzzled this I pulled the kid aside and tried to assure him he was making a good choice with the premade content and to not listen to those idiots because what works (or “works”) for them isn’t going to work for everyone and sometimes different people just enjoy things differently and it doesn’t match up nice all the time “just take your time and try your best, figure out what works for you and whats important for building your style”

I think he appreciated it? I guess? I dunno. I really just wanted him to know that like, I was ready to support his creative growth. I think that’s important.

Eventually we get started and I have who is probably my most favorite character I’ve had, though I might scale back his stats because the stat rolling system he picked was very generous and I rolled very well on top of that. But I think some lower stats would be more fun to role play and more interesting to roll play instead of the almost obnoxiously high stats my sweet boy has. Almost obnoxiously high because that honor goes to the guy who usually has suspiciously high stats all the time. Oh?? You have a 19 str in this character too? For the 8th character in a row that that hasn’t been forced to use the standard array? .... interesting..... but it’s fine, it makes him happy I guess and it doesn’t really take away fun from other people so whatever.

And I know how this adventure is supposed to go, I think a few people at the table have at least skimmed through it- the lost mine of Phandelver. He’s played it pretty straight, though it was weird a bit because I was playing an aarakocra and really playing up the bird business. though of course I did my best to try and make sure things moved along but it wasn’t really needed because with clear directions and objectives like? Things just? moved along? On their own? It felt like that anyway to me. Which was a great change of pace. I don’t mind being left to my own devices of course but some kinda direction is be nice now and then. Often the games I get involved in feel like: sit here for 3 hours while I tell you a story and pretend you’re playing a game with me or sit here for three hours and find out something to do on your own I’m not giving you shit to play off of. Or there is shit to play off of but the group actively ignores it or the dm put it there but.... doesn’t want us to play with it? It’s just a one time talking point we are Supposed to then forget about?

Over all, I think he did a good job. He did get frustrated and a little overwhelmed in a few instances but in similar situations I have ALSO been overwhelmed and I wasn’t even the dm at those times. I think his biggest issue is he, being the 13 yo he is, has a curfew more strict than the other teens so he gets very annoyed when side conversation and silliness take time away from play, but rather than say: I have a time limit please pay more attention. He just gets angry. Apparently he did a lot of yelling the first time but has since figured out some restraint from then. Also doesn’t ever throw things or hit people like some of the other teen DMs have done.

He does have some things that need work of course but it’s hard to know what’s a technical issue with using a pdf on a phone instead of a book and what’s he just needs practice but I’m sure he has some ideas on this and I think werewolf dm surely would have given him her thoughts on the subject.

There’s another chick, she wants to try dming and she told me a bit about her ideas, she explained they were still kinda rough but she had a clear goal in mind of what the end results would be. They seem pretty straightforward, clear objectives but a bit of room to roam around in between, which is a great way to start. I told her I thought it would be great and she should absolutely give it a try when she’s ready. I also gave her the same caution I’d give anyone who wants to gm for this group, and some examples of weird shit my other groups have done (investigation of street lights for a weirdly long time even though they were literally just street lights). I’d hate for her first try to go super bad like the 13yos did because she thought the group would play differently than they usually do or because of bad advice that some of the guys like to give that they may or may not know is bad advice.

She told another person in the group about her ideas. It didn’t go so well. He gave her lots of bad advice and would not listen to what she was saying. “These things you are telling me are not helpful and detract from the core of the adventure.” ; “You don’t know that! I’m being very helpful and smart!” ; “I do know that because I’m writing it??? No you aren’t?”

[pcyheartgirlx]

In The Bleak Midwinter [CH11]

Genre ;; Angst/Smut/Fluff/Romance

Pairing ;; Chanyeol x Reader x Seokjin

Word Count ;; 9.5k

Summary ;; “We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.”

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

A/N ;; The aftermath of Chapter 10. Well at least from one side. This is kind of a Jin chapter and I didn’t even mean for it to be that way. I realized that if I wrote everything I wanted to write, this chapter would have been like 30k long. I mean, does that bother you guys? Let me know! I’m always down for writing longer chapters if you guys will wait for me...till the end of time...get it? like in the story? Okay my jokes are lame, I’ll stop rambling and let y’all get to reading <3

[PLAYLIST] [BACKSTORY] [PROLOGUE] [CH1] [CH2] [CH3] [CH4] [CH5] [CH6] [CH7] [CH8] [CH9] [CH10] [CH11] [CH12]

‘No arms or legs is basically how you live right now, Kevin. You don’t do anything.”

A loud pair of laughter followed Michael Scott’s line. You and Damon couldn’t stop cackling when Kevin gave him the saddest reaction.

“I fucking love this show,” you belted out, wiping the tears from your eyes. “The Office can literally make anything better.”

“Aw so you’re feeling better?” Damon said as he laid on his stomach to face you. The two of you were laying on your bed, using your laptop to watch The Office. You shrugged and pushed the used tissue that was on your keyboard to pause the show.

“I mean a little bit, I think it’s just cuz I’m feeling sleepy,” you replied as you took another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth. Damon opened his mouth, signalling him for you to give him a bite.

“I mean,” he said swallowing the ice cream you fed him. “Do you still feel like your heart is coming out of your chest?”

“No.”

“And you’ve stopped crying, no?”

“I guess.”

“Well alright, step one is done!” He closed the laptop and put it on your nightstand. “You can’t expect everything to go away now, (Y/N).”

“No I know. I just...can’t believe I fucked up this much,” Your head started to hang low as you thought about the events that unfolded that night. The way Jin looked at you as he said “Don’t touch me”. Then the words that cut into you the minute they flew out of Chanyeol’s mouth. “I’m not going to pay you anymore, (Y/N).” Even though you already answered this question a million times you couldn’t help but wonder.

Where did I go wrong? What exact moment?

The minute you let your heart make decisions for you, dumbass.

“You’re right. But it already happened. And maybe it needed to happen,” Damon pulled covers over him and got comfortable. “Either way, we’re going to get through this.” You eyed him as he turned over and yawned.

“Are you...sleeping in here tonight?” You asked quizically.

“Don’t act like you don’t want me here. I’m your best friend and I know that when you’re upset you hate sleeping alon--”

“You don’t feel like getting up do you?”

“Nope.” You rolled your eyes at him and started to collect the tissues and empty ice cream cartons that littered the bed.

“You know, I say it all the time but Damon, I’m really happy you’re my best friend. I don’t think anyone can do as good of a job dealing with me like you,” He turned to you as you threw the trash away.

“I know,” he pipped, smiling at you sweetly. You laughed and smacked him on the ass before you got comfortable next to him.

“Goodnight, Damon.” you said, snuggling into your pillow.

“Goodnight, puta.”

x-x-x

Your phone went off for what seemed like the 5th time. There was no way you were moving, either. Figuring it was Ronnie calling so you could give him the final rundown of the numbers, you kept sleeping hoping he would get the hint.

“Pick it upppppp!” Damon yelled groggily. You turned to him and elbowed him.

“Why are you yelling?”

“Because your phone has been ringing for like an hour, pick it up! I’m trying to sleeeeep,” Damon whined, putting a pillow over his face. You groaned and reached for your phone on the nightstand next to you. Not even looking, you picked it up.

“Star--”

“(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK!” Maya’s shrill screech pierced your eardrums. Pulling the phone away from your ear for a second, you brought it back to your face as you cringed.

“Why the fuck are you yelling for?”

“Because you’re an imbecile,” Damon chimed.

“Shut up!”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Maya defended.

“Not you! Damon!” You groaned. Accepting that you weren’t going to get back to sleep now, you sat up and rubbed your eyes. “What’s up though? Why are you blowing up my phone?”

“(Y/N)...I’m...kind of stuck,” she grimaced painfully. You sighed as you pulled the covers off you.

“Did you slip in the shower and throw your back out again?”

“NO!” She screeched once more, bringing the phone away from you again. “I’m...well...what happened is…”

“Out with it, Maya!”

“Okay!...I’m um...not home,” Your eyes widened at her statement.

“You’re not...h--Where the fuck are you?!” Damon turned to you and glared at you as you screamed into the phone.

“Don’t be mad at her!” You heard Jimin’s voice in your ear. “It was our fault! We let her nap after...uhh…”

“You can say it, Jiminie. It’s not like she doesn’t know what we did last night,” Maya purred. You could almost feel Jimin blushing through the phone.

“Wait a minute, Am I on speaker?!”

“It was Maya’s idea, Y/N,” Yoongi interjected. A sigh escaped your lips as you threw your hand up in frustration.

“That’s great. Really, Maya. I--” you stopped yourself before you could continue. As much as you wanted rip Maya a new one, cursing and yelling while Jimin and Yoongi were listening wasn’t exactly a good look for you or your business. Especially after the events from yesterday, you wanted to keep your image. “I’m disappointed. But not mad.”

“See!” Jimin chuckled. “I knew she was reasonable. (Y/N) is so sweet.”

“I wouldn’t say all of that now,” Maya responded flatly.

“Anyway,” Yoongi interrupted once again. “I sincerely apologize, (Y/N). Really, we fucked up big time. But can you give us a hand? I’m not sure how we can get her out of here without anyone seeing her.” Rubbing your temples, you started thinking of a plan.

“Let me speak to Namjoon. I’m sure he can help me come up with a plan,” There was a silence after your words, but you could hear a faint lull of whispers. “Hello? I know you’re there.”

“You see, (Y/N), Namjoon isn’t here. And we kinda want to keep this between us for now...just so he doesn’t um…”

“This is dangerous territory,” you warned Yoongi. “I at least think we should have Jin help. He might know what to do.” Saying his name was difficult. As much as you didn’t want this to be the way you crossed paths with him after last night, you knew that he would be able to keep the boys calm and devise a plan that would keep this under wraps from the leader.

“Hyung is sleeping. He was up late last night…” Yoongi said cooly, guilt creeping up the pit of your stomach.

“Ah, I see. Well, don’t worry. I’ll think of something. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll call you back,” you lifted yourself up from you bed and started toward your closet.

“Thank you so much, (Y/N)! You really are the best!” Jimin gushed.

“We owe you one,” Yoongi followed.

“(Y/N)...”

“Maya,” you said sternly. “We’ll talk later.”

“Fineeee,” She groaned, hearing the sound of the call ending right after. You threw your phone on the bed, accidentally hitting Damon with it as he tried to sleep.

“Fuck you, hoe!” he cried out as he writhed under the sheets.

“I’m going to kill that girl,” you snarled as you pulled out a pair of True Religion jeans. “How am I going to get her out of there? Is she nuts?! It’s practically almost noon! There are people everywhere!” Damon yawned and turned over.

“I have a plan,” he mumbled as he stretched. “Call Goyangi Catering and place an order for pick up, get some pastries or sandwiches, something easy and quick for them to make. Then ask them for a uniform, put it on and “deliver” it to them.” You blinked your eyes at him in amazement.

“That’s fucking fantastic but how do I get her out?”

“Easy,” he snuggled back into the bed facing you. “Tell her to go out back while you come out the front. Attention will still be on you!” he made a motion with his hand as if he had a pen and paper handy. “Delivery girl, was it BTS? What does their dorm look like? Are they recording? What do their pajamas look like? Can you tell us anything at all?” Bringing the covers up to his neck, he shrugged and made a face of accomplishment. You shook your head almost in agreement. Granted it was risky, there could always be someone waiting in the back. But if there was anyone in the front, crazed fans or press, they would see you go in and come out, taking any suspicion away from Maya. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was the only plan.

“I guess that’s what we’re gonna do,” you agreed, plopping on the bed looking through your contacts. A smile crept up your face as you found Goyangi catering. “Wait…” you stopped suddenly and turned to Damon. “How did you come up with that so fast?” He scoffed at you and rolled his eyes.

“See, Unlike you bitches, I ain’t messy. First of all, this would never happen to me. I’m responsible,” you laughed out loud as he playfully smacked you. “Second, if it did, there’s no way I’m going unprepared for the worst. I got a back up plan for my back up plan.” He snapped in your face causing you to lean back a bit. At this point, you had no time for his sass. You pressed the screen and brought the phone up to you ear.

“Goyangi Catering? Yes it’s me! Great job last night...the food was fantasic! The focal point of discussion throughout the whole night, I heard! No...no actually I called to place an order...Yes, I’ll hold…” you looked over at Damon and pointed at him. “This better work!”

“It will! It will!” he reassured. You shot him a doubtful look as you waited on the line patiently.

x-x-x

You pulled up to the nearest parking spot by their dorm. Gripping at your steering wheel, you looked over to their dorm that was down the street, studying the people outside. It didn’t seem too crazy. A sasaeng walked by acting as if they were a pedestrian, knowing damn well they were waiting for a glimpse at one of the idols, and a few reporters chatted amongst themselves, exchanging notes. You figured they were waiting for Namjoon to get back, and ask him about his whereabouts today. Sighing to yourself, you gazed over at the box next to you.

“I really want one of these pastries, Damon.”

“Bitch, get your life together. How’s it looking out there?” his voice filling the car as it came through the speakers.

“One crazy, 3 reporters.”

“Not too bad,” he spoke into the car radio. “Don’t be nervous. Those people can smell it like fucking dogs.”

“I believe it,” you pursed your lips as you examined them a little more.

“How does the uniform look on you?” Damon sniggered. You glared at his name on the display screen.

“Go fuck yourself, I look like a bum.” You looked down at the plain white t-shirt that was 2 sizes too big. The Goynagi Catering company logo was obnoxiously adorned on the front.

“Well I’m sorry delivery girls don’t go around dropping pastries off in Versace dresses.”

“Fuck off, Damon,” you spat as you grabbed the box. “Alright I’m going to get out there and get this shit over with. See you soon.”

“Byeeee,” he chimed, using your free hand the press the call end button on the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath in, you pulled the keys out of the ignition and walked out of the car with your box of pastries at hand. The minute you approached the dorm, reported fled to your side as you began walking in.

“Are these for BTS?” one asked immediately. You just shrugged as you approached the door.

“Who are they from?” a second one asked, pushing the first reporter to the side. Again, you shrugged at them as you walked into the building. They said a few choice words about your manners before you walked away from them. Fucking vultures, you thought to yourself as you got to the front desk. Usually at night, you were in different attire so the concierge didn’t recognize you. Either that or it was so late, he wasn’t even there. It was better that way. If he did recognize you, he could mention to Namjoon that you had visited the dorm while he was away, causing problems for the other members as he questioned your appearance there.

“Good afternoon! I have a delivery for Bangtan Soeyondan on the 3rd floor,” the man scribbled something in his notepad before he reached for the box.

“Namjoon-ssi isn’t here and their manager didn’t mention anything to me about a delivery so I’ll just take these and he can take it up when he arrives,” he replied. Fuck, you thought to yourself. I have to get up there.

“Sir, this order was made by Yoongi actually. Surely you can let me up just to drop these off. He’s not feeling well. Last night, the poor thing pulled his...hamstring...yea his hamstring during their performance,” you lied, hopefully the concierge bought it. Slowly, his eyebrows furrowed and a look of pity played on his face.

“They work so hard too…” he looked around and sighed. “Alright, I could get into a lot of trouble for this but go ahead and bring it up.” You smiled sweetly at him and took the box in your hands again.

“That’s really kind of you. Don’t worry, we’ll keep this our little secret,” you winked. The man blushed and nodded as you walked away.

“Hey, I believe I know you from somewhere,” he called out to you as you waited for the elevator. Fuck, I almost got it, you cried internally. You looked to him and shrugged.

“You know I get that all the time! I must have a distinguishable face, right?” you laughed nervously as the elevator chimed, the doors opening at the perfect time. “Well thank you again have a good day!” You said in one breath as you rushed inside, pressing the button for the 3rd floor violently.

That was so fucking close, oh my god.

Usually when you walked down this hall, the sound of your heels clicking accompanied you. Today you were left in silence with your own thoughts. Your palms began to sweat with every step you took. It wasn’t the situation that gave you anxiety, it was the possibility of seeing Jin. You didn’t know what you were going to say to him if you did see him. Planning that out probably should have been included in this strategy. Instinctually, you only scrambled a solution for what seemed more important. Protecting your business. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you knocked on their door and waited for a response. It wasn’t long before Taehyung opened the door and appeared in the doorway.

“(Y/N)...you look…”

“Don’t even start--”

“Cute!” he doted.

“What?”

“You look so normal! Come in, come in! Oh and let me take that for you,” he said excitedly as he pulled you inside with one arm and grabbing the box with the other. You were taken aback by his kindness. He was always a sweet kid but after last night and the way he looked at you nervously, you weren’t exactly sure what you were expecting. But this was the opposite...not that it was a bad thing.

“I brought pastries!” You chimed sweetly as you both got into the kitchen. “I hope you guys like them.” He put the box down on the counter and opened them, his eyes twinkling at the sight.

“These are for all of us?” he asked innocently.

“Yes of course! Dig in, Tae,” he smiled at you as he grabbed a pastry and stuffed it in his mouth. It was hard not to giggle as he chewed, his eyes squinted in satisfaction. You walked toward him slowly and sighed.

“Hey, Tae. I just wanted to apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused for your group last night. I really hope that doesn’t affect the way you guys think about me or anything. I truly fell in love with you guys. You’re one of the sweetest group of young men I ever had the pleasure of meeting and I want to...stay friends with you.” Tae put his pastry down and turned to you. Your words made his cock his head at you and frown.

“It’s okay, (Y/N). I’ll admit, last night was pretty shitty but you’ve been nothing but nice to us. What ever happens with you and Jin, that doesn’t effect our friendship. Not unless you hurt him purposefully anyway. But I know you wouldn’t do that,” he picked up the pastry once again and leaned on the counter. “Plus, if I stop being your friend, I don’t get the benefits of free food every once and a while.” The both of you laughed as he took a bite.

“(Y/N)! You’re here! Finally!” Jimin said in relief as he walked in. The expression in his face changed to one of curiosity as he peered at the box on the counter. “Are those pastries? Tae, you have powder on your face. Those are pastries!” he ran excitedly toward the box and marveled at them just as Tae did previously. Another giggle escaped your lips as you walked up to the both of them, handing Tae a napkin to clean the powder on his face.

“Yes, pastries are great and all but…” you put a hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly, digging your nails into his skin. A smile crept on your face as you watched him writhe in pain. “Where’s Maya?”

“AISH! (Y/N) WHAT IS THIS?”

“This is how I show love when I’m angry,” you cocked your head at him and kept your face kind and sweet as you let him go. He rubbed his shoulder and looked at you in confusion.

“I thought you were reasonable!” he cried. Taehyung chuckled in the background as he took the pastry Jimin was about to take.

“I am reasonable. I’m not telling Namjoon about this little fuck up and you’re still alive aren’t you?” His eyes widened as he nodded. “Well, let’s get to it then. Where is she?”

“In the bathroom,” you heard Yoongi from behind you. “She’s hungover and…” Suddenly, the sound of gagging and coughing echoed through the hallway. “Yea...so that’s happening.” A look of embarrassment and horror crept up your face.

“I’m so sorry about that. She usually doesn’t...well she does...but,” Yoongi chuckled at your expense and shook his head.

“Don’t be. We had a lot of fun last night. Right, Jimin?” Jimin blushed at Yoongi’s statement and he nodded shyly in agreement.

“Jiminahhh! Don’t be so shy now!” Tae teased. “You were the one giggling and moaning the loudest. Maya knows her name. I don’t think you had to remind her every 3 seconds.” Jimin’s mouth dropped at him, his face getting a deeper shade of red.

“Hey Tae,” Yoongi chimed softly. “Didn’t I hear a small, little moan a few night ago coming from Jungkookah’s room? It sounded a lot like your voice…” The color in Tae’s face drained as he looked at Yoongi with terror.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said defensively as he grabbed another pastry. “I just remembered, I have...something to do.Thank you for the food, (Y/N). You’re the best!” He ran out of the kitchen and back into his room. Jimin shook his head and laughed.

“You didn’t have to do that, hyung. That was mean.” Yoongi shrugged at Jimin and looked to the side.

“He’ll be fine. We all know anyway. I don’t know why they try and hide--”

“And I don’t think I should be hearing this conversation!” You interjected, putting your hands up to your ear. “I’ll be...uh...helping Maya out.”

“Oh, (Y/N)! Come on! You can’t possibly tell me you didn’t know either,” Jimin cried out to you. You shrugged as you walked away.

“Hey, I don’t know who or what you’re talking about.” They both looked at you with annoyance as you darted toward the bathroom. Of course you knew about Tae and Kookie. It was painfully obvious. But you dealt this situation before with Kyungsoo and Jongin. When they are ready, the two of them will come foward to their members about their...relationship. But for now, you thought it was best to let the two men explore each other and be sure of what they had. Even if Tae’s comment to Jimin was rather funny, you knew your place in this situation.

“Maya?” you said sweetly into the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

“Fuck off, you wank! I know you’re just being nice because we’re here. You’re going to kill me when I get out of here!” she said sloppily through the door. You sighed as you put a hand up to the door.

“Yes, you may be right. But you’re kind of throwing up and I don’t think this is the right time to kill you...I don’t want to get puke on me.”

“Very funny, bitch...hold on,” her thought was cut off by her gag reflex and the sound of her throwing up echoed in the bathroom and down the hall.

“Ew, gross,” you said to yourself as you backed away. The sound of a door down the hall clicking open caught your attention causing you turned your head to the sound.

“Honestly! Who is making all that noise!? I’m trying to fuckin--” Jin’s stopped as he saw you. He was about to walk down toward you before he noticed your presence in the hallway making him to stop in his tracks. Your heart raced at the sight of him. Just seeing him in his PJs, his hair tousled every which way and his face still slightly puffed from his slumber. The blood was rushing to your face, causing you to blush at how enchanting he looked.

“Jin…” you said breathlessly as you turned to him. He licked his lips and turned back around, heading to his room. “Wait!” you called to him, trailing behind him. “Can we talk? Please?” Without saying a word, he closed his room door leaving you outside. “Jin...I’m..I’m sorry. I just want to talk...just give me 5 minutes?” He said nothing. “Okay 2?” you chuckled. Still not receiving a response, you leaned up against the door and sighed. “Alright, I get it. I’ll just...go.” You pushed yourself up and walked back to the bathroom, knocking at the door impatiently. All you wanted to do was get out of there at this point.

“Maya!” she responded with a grunt.

“That was painful to hear,” you heard Hobi say from down the hall. You looked over to him and smiled.

“Hey Hobi! I’m sorry if this...noise is interrupting anything or bothering you,” you said to him apologetically as he raised his eyebrows reluctantly.

“Oh no. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about,” he raised a finger, pointing to Jin’s door and you. “That.” You frowned at him and rubbed your arm.

“Oh,” you said awkwardly. “Yea...it’s...yea.” There weren’t any words you could think of to respond to that. Hobi noticed the trouble you were going through and walked toward you.

“I know, Jin. He’s just mad right now. He said it himself last night, more than likely he’s going to call you later,” he put an hand to your shoulder reassuringly. Your eyes brightened at the thought of Jin talking about you last night. Whether it was good or bad, you needed to know because it was obvious he wasn’t going to tell you now. Curiosity taking over you, you decided to inquiry more about it.

“He said that?” Hobi nodded. “What...what else did he say?” You asked frantically. He cocked his head to the side and inhaled sharply.

“Well, I don’t want to tell you too much without him getting upset but he did tell us not to be mean to you. That it wasn’t your fault. It’s just a shitty situation he put himself in. But we weren’t going to be mean to you anyway!” he said quickly. “Don’t worry, (Y/N). I know you care about him. Even if it doesn’t seem like it to him now. Honestly, I doubted you. But when I saw his present, I knew I was wrong…” Nodding at his words, you smiled sweetly at him.

“Thank you, Hobi. It means a lot…” He pulled you into a hug, taking you back a bit as you hugged him back. “Hey wait a minute! You doubted me?”

“Welp, I heard there were pastries in the kitchen,” he quipped as he pulled away avoiding your question. He started rubbing his hands together and licking his lips excitedly. “So I’m going to grab some of them and you can have fun with,” he motioned toward the door and made a face of disgust. “That.” You chuckled at him as he walked away, leaving you to deal with Maya.

After a few more tries, Maya gathered herself together and slumped out of the bathroom. If you didn’t want to kill her before, you certainly wanted to kill her then. Instead, you gathered her things and reminded her of the plan. Yoongi and Jimin described to you two where the back exit was. You suggested to have her meet you a block away so you were able to pick her up in a low key location. Yoongi looked at you and nodded.

“You’re real slick, (Y/N),” he said in amazement. Maya put an arm around you and pulled you close to her.

“I’m told you guys. This is the definition of a boss bitch,” you shook your head at Maya as she spoke.

“Yea, yea. Can we get back to this please?”

“Hey (Y/N),” Jimin looked over you. “You never told me if you ever killed anyone.”

“Can you let that go?” Yoongi snarled. You and Maya just laughed and proceeded to go over the plan one more time.

“We ready?” you asked as you put your sneakers on. Maya nodded and flattened her dress.

“Let’s do this,” she nodded.

“Alright, say bye to your...men,” you said weirdly as she walked over to Yoongi and Jimin, planting both of them a soft kiss on the lips exchanging their goodbyes. You sighed and looked away, getting lost in your own thoughts, your own jealousy.

x-x-x

“Fuck yes! We did it!” Maya cheered as you two walked into the apartment. You trailed behind her and followed it into the kitchen.

“Yea, we did,” you exhaled as you plopped on the stool by the marble island. She opened the fridge and pulled out a bowl of fruit, placing it on the island.

“I know you’re mad,” She walked over to you and sat next to you, taking a piece of pineapple from the bowl. “So go ahead, yell at me, beat me, throw me away into a cold, wet dungeon. I’m ready for it.” She took the fruit in her mouth and backed away defensively.

“To be honest Maya, I’m exhausted and all I have in me is this; fuck you. That was irresponsible. Don’t let it happen again,” your voice was flat and unwavering. She crept back toward you and looked at you in bewilderment.

“That’s it?” she said warily. “You’re not gonna kill me?” You shook your head as you took a grape from the bowl. “Wait...oh shit sweetie, I almost forgot!” You felt her bring you into an embrace, almost knocking you out of your seat. “I heard what happened last night. They were talking about it while I was waiting in Yoongi’s room. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, really. Wait...you heard them?” you said shocked, pushing her away slightly. “What did they say!?” She crossed her legs and brought a hand up to her chin.

“I don’t remember much. I just remember him telling them what Chanyeol did. And then what Hobi told you in the hall.”

“Oh,” you said defeatedly.

“But,” you turned to her, your eyes twinkling in eagerness as she continued. “He did mention going through with his original idea. Whatever that means. They all seemed to be supportive of him too. They really like us.” You cocked your head in confusion as you crossed your arms. Original idea? A vibration in your back pocket took you away from your thought. You reached for it and pulled it out, examining the screen. It was a notification from your bank account, stating that a deposit had been made into your personal account. Puzzled, you open your transaction history and examined the account number and name that came from.

“Um...Maya?”

“What’s up?”

“Jin just made a deposit in my account,” she looked at you emotionless.

“Okay so?” she asked almost uninterested. You pursed your lips at her and narrowed your eyes.

“Well, he’s not due for a payment or anything. I didn’t do anything with him last night...so,” Maya interrupted you by taking your phone. “Hey!”

“Why don’t you just call him and ask him?” she began scrolling through your contacts. You snatched the phone from her swiftly, shaking your head violently.

“No! He clearly doesn’t want to talk to me right now! Maybe it was a mistake!”

“Bullshit!” She called out as she took her own phone out.

“What are you doing?” Your voice was frantic as you leaned in to look at her screen. She pulled her arm back away from you.

“As the head of accounts payable for Starlight Catering--”

“Since when?”

“Since you’re too pussy to call him and ask,” she brought the phone up to her ear. “I will.” Your eyes widened as she took another piece of fruit in her mouth.

“No! Stop it! Don’t--”

“Relax, bitch. Matter of fact,” she brought the phone down and put it on speaker. “So you can hear him too.”

“Maya stop if you don’t hang up--” you growled trying to reach for the phone as she pulled it away from you again.

“You’ll do what?” she scoffed.

“I’m gonn--”

“Yoboseyo?” Jin answered. You shot her a deadly stare as she stuck her tongue out.

“Seokjin! Hi! It’s me, Maya,” she said sweetly into the phone.

“Oh hey Maya. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thank you for asking,” she inhaled and looked over to you. “The reason I’m calling though, is because I was looking at our financials and I see you posted up a payment into one of accounts a few moments ago.”

“I did, yes.”

“Right well, according to our records, you’re all caught up and you don’t owe us anything. What is a mistake? Because I can refund you right--”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Maya.” She shot you a look of satisfaction making you inch to the edge of your seat. You listened intently as the two spoke. “I’m assuming she’s with you right now?” His statement shocked you both a bit. Waving your hands frantically in the air, you shook her head signalling for her to deny your presence.

“Well right no--”

“And you have me on speaker right?” he cut her off. The color from her face drained as she continued.

“I--...well...you see--”

“(Y/N). 11pm. I’ll see you later tonight.” With that, he ended the call, leaving both of you stunned at what had just happened.

“I feel so stupid.”

“You know,” she started. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just called him.”

“Fuck off, Maya,” you said as you twiddle your fingers, not sure if you were terrified or excited about facing Jin tonight. He doesn’t completely hate me, you thought to yourself. A smile danced across your face at your realization.

“That boy adores you, (Y/N),” she doted at you, leaning her hand up against the counter. “He’s not going to let you go that easily.” You exhaled heavily and crossed your arms.

“That’s not the impression he gave me before,” you pouted. She sighed and put her hand on your back. “Yea...I heard that while I was barfing. But obviously, he still wants to see you. So just think of this morning as residual anger. I mean, you did go back to Chanyeol after he got punched in the face.” Bringing your hands up to your face, you groaned into your palms loudly.

“Don’t remind me!” You groaned into your hands one more time before you looked up at her and sighed.

“Remember a few weeks ago, you were jealous because Jin had called me and Yoongi hadn’t called you?”

“And because Chanyeol was your boo. Yes I remember and trust me honey, I’m not jealous anymore,” she brought her hand to your lap and smiled at you. You grilled her before continuing.

“Well...I was kinda jealous of you, Yoongi and Jimin...this morning…”  She looked at you with a confused look as you spoke. “Its just because I--...it’s...not to sound weird…”

“You want that with Chanyeol and Jin?” Maya stated simply, not expecting those words to sound as strange as they did when heard out loud.

“That’s so fuckin weird...and bad…” you groaned admittingly. “How does that even make sense?” Maya made a hphm noise as she shrugged.

“It’s actually a thing. Polyamory. But I don’t think--”

“Not. Helping.” you snarled.

“Right…” she said hesitantly as she tapped her fingernails on the counter. “Well, its hard because both of these men love you. Jimin doesn’t love me. He’s just kinky and curious. Yoongi…” she stopped and looked down. “Yoongi has a weird way of showing his emotions. I don’t know what he’s thinking half the time…”

“Does that bother you?” You asked, not minding the sudden change in topics. You didn’t want to dig deeper into your shameful fantasy and if there was one thing Maya loved more than anything, it was talking about herself.

“Sometimes. I don’t know. You know I’m a sucker for emotional sweethearts,” she gushed as her head hang low.

“What about Yixing?” She snapped her head up at you and she bit her lip.

“He left so…”

“Yea but he’s coming back…”

“But he hasn’t even spoken to me since he left!” her voice filled with sadness. You inhaled deeply and scooted closer to her. “Guys are rubbish.” You scoffed and put you arm around her.

“Yes the fuck they are.”

X-x-x

The day went by fairly quickly. You and Maya decided to get some work done a little earlier than usual, tallying up the numbers from the night before. Impressively enough it was one of your best nights yet. The both of you were left in shock. When you called Ronnie, he took a jab at you and said the night went well because you were gone for most of it. You ignored his comment and sent him his cut immediately. It was about 9:30 when you got ready to head back to the BTS dorm. You hadn’t heard from him all day, neither of them actually. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to text either of them. It’s that you physically couldn’t. Your chest would start to hurt as you typed and you just put your phone away swiftly. Doing this all day took a toll on your nerves. On top of thinking about what you wanted to say to Jin, you were surprised at how functional you actually were.

As you applied your make up, you mentally rehearsed what you thought you should say. One of the things you wanted to express was yes, you did love Chanyeol. And yes, you did love him too. Wait...what? No. No. That’s wrong. You liked him. Yea. That’s what you meant. Anyway. This is about business. Having everything you ever wanted. Along the way, you met Chanyeol and he treated you with decency. He asked if you were okay. If you ever wanted to take a break from the world, escape with him for a moment and getting lost in passion, in affection. Until that moment wasn’t enough anymore. He aches for you when your away and worries about you endlessly. He is someone who protects you, so you weren’t afraid. You found bliss. But then you met Jin, and he treats you like a queen. He’s absolutely captivated by you. He wants to find you, and explore the world with you hand in hand. He believes there’s strength in your weaknesses and vows to prove it to you. When you’re away, he prays that you are taking care of yourself and thinks about the next time he’s going to see you. You found purpose.

But I can’t say that, you thought to yourself as you applied your final spray of perfume. Letting out a deep sigh, you grabbed your purse and headed for the door.

“Guys! I’m out!” Maya poked her head out her room and waved.

“Damon’s not here but good luck baby girl!” You nodded as you walked out, disappearing behind the elevator.

X-x-x

“Right here is good?” The cab driver asked as he pulled up to the curb.

“Yes! Here’s fine. Thank you! Have a goodnight,” you sad as you got out of the cab and started walking down the street. Okay, Practice.

“Jin, I’m sorry. Don’t take it personal. I didn’t go back to him because he means more...no that sounds terrible,” you scolded yourself. You walked into their building, looked over at the empty concierge desk and made your way for the elevator.

“Jin,” you pressed the button and sighed. “You know how much you mean to me. I care about you so much and...I don’t know where I’m going with this,” The elevator dinged as you groaned. You walked in and had a sense of dejavú as you pressed the button for the 3rd floor. I don’t have much time, focus!

“Jin, Tesoro mío, there isn’t anything a good blow job can’t fix!” You said with a finger up in the air. Quickly smacking yourself after and sighing. “That was the stupidest thing you’ve ever said, (Y/N).”

There was no more time for rehearsals as you finally reached the 3rd floor. Mentally collecting yourself, you walked out into the hall. The loud clicking of your heels was a relief. Your focused on your pace, drowning out any thoughts as you made your way to their door.

Knock. Knock.

“Jungkook!” You said delightfully as he opened the door. Looking at him strangely, he made his way into the hall and close the door behind him. “What are you doing?”

“(Y/N) I just wanna thank you for helping Yoongi and Jimin this morning,” he confessed rather quickly. You just nodded, still gazing at him strangely.

“Oh, kookie it really was no problem. Any time you ever need help, even if it’s not Starlight Catering related, just know that I will always be there,” you reassured him as you put a hand on his and squeezed it lightly. He smiled at you and scratched the back of his head.

“Why are you so nice to us, (Y/N)? I mean, Jin is the only one you have to impress.”

“Oh don’t say that!” You crosses your arms and looked at him dotingly. “I was and still am a fan of BTS. You guys have done so much for the music industry and for your fans. Truly, anything I can do to give back to angels like yourselves.” Jungkook’s eyes widened at your words. He started shifting in place, shyness overtaking him.

“I wouldn’t say angels…”

“Come on, Kookie. Let’s go inside before Jin starts yelling,” you giggled as you both walked in.

“Hyung is actually in the shower. He told us to let you into his room so you could wait there. Or you can come with us in the Big Room while we play with our dogs! Jin won’t like that very much because he swears we take you away from him,” he laughed as you two walked down the hall and stopped in front of his room door.

“As much as I would love to hang out with you guys, I think me and Jin need to talk,” you tapped your two pointers together and slouched a bit.

“Oh yea…last night…” you nodded at his statement. He sighed and shrugged. “Don’t even worry about all that. He’ll get over it. But I’ll see you later, (Y/N). You’re welcome here anytime.”

“Thanks, Kookie. It means a lot,” you snickered as you walked into Jins room, thinking to yourself, that boy is going to be trouble when he gets to Jin’s age.

You closed your eyes and inhaled as you stood in his room, taking in his scent. The mix of the freshness in his cologne and the sweetness in his natural scent was intoxicating and distinct. When your eyes fluttered open, you scanned the room, your (e/c) orbs darting everywhere but stopping in one place in particular.

You saw the gift you had bought him on his desk. The glass casing was off to the side and there was a screwdriver next to it. Curiosity getting the best of you, you walked over and decided to examine it. There wasn’t anything that could have prepared you for what you discovered. There was an addition made to the gift. Next to the iridescent Mario was a Princess Peach to match it, screwed in tightly next to him. There wasn’t a possible explanation for this. You don’t remember the package coming with Peach. You even swore that the picture advertising the figure didn’t have a Peach either. Your fingers slowly made their way toward the two figures. Just as you were about to graze the rainbow opal, a voice from behind you startled the life out of you.

“I bet you’re wondering where I got that piece, aren’t you?”

You turned to him and your mouth slightly dropped. Jin stood there, his upper bare body glistened, droplets of water still trailing down his torso. The towel around his waist barely hung at his hips. You stared at his narrow waist then up his defined chest and broad shoulders. Even though his cheeks were slightly pink, his skin was radiant and almost blinding. The way his dark hair clung onto his forehead seemed to bother him, so he ran his fingers through them, revealing those deep dark eyes that fixated in your direction. You wanted to speak, but it took almost all the energy in you to say anything.

“I didn’t even know she was supposed to be there...it looked…”

“Complete?” Jin cut you off as he walked toward you. “I admit, it looked great the way it came, jagi. But I just had to.” He stared at Rainbow Road for a minute, noting the amazement that glossed over his eyes as he studied it. It brought you a sense of closure almost. He loved the present. At least you did one thing right.

“Where did you get her in such a short time?” you asked as you bent down to look at Princess Peach. “I mean, You only had it for like a few hours, Jin.”

“Oh, I’ve had her for a while now. In fact, I was almost convinced I would never have the whole thing,” he said admittingly, looking over at the glass casing that was sitting on the desk.

“Are you serious? Nah, you’re pulling my leg. There’s no way…” you stood up straight and backed away.

“(Y/N), remember when I told you everything in life has meaning?” He turned to you and adjusted his towel. The nerve of him.

“Yes, I do,” you croaked, trying not to stare too much. He chuckled as he noticed and you started blushed.

“Well, I think there was some meaning behind this. Even if it’s not intentional,” You cocked your head at him. Not sure exactly what he meant. He chuckled again, causing a warm burst to travel up your core at the sound. “To put it simply, we were meant to find each other...at least that’s what I think…” When his voice trailed off, you took that as initiative to approach him. To be honest, you didn’t know where this sudden act of bravery came from but the way Seokjin looked in a towel was magnetizing.

“Even after last night, you believe that?” Your voice was soft and timid. It was a question you were scared to ask. Truthfully, you didn’t want to know the answer. You just wanted to stay in this moment. Replay it over again and hear those words again. But he took you away from that as you felt his hand cup your cheek, forcing you to stare into those deep dark eyes that you had admired from a far before.

“Especially after last night,” he breathed into you. Blinking a few times to make sure this was really happening, you tried to lean in to your lips would meet his but he stopped you.

“Let me get dressed,” he smiled as he walked away to his closet. The sudden lack of his warm skin against yours almost froze you over where you stood. But instead, you walked behind him as he approached his closet. Jin was infectious that night. The minute he touched you, it was like you gained a hunger you’ve never felt before. It was insatiable and the only thing you to calm it was the taste of his flesh. Tonight, you didn’t want Jin. You didn’t crave him. You needed him.

You started at his shoulders, trailing kisses everywhere in the space between them. He exhaled slowly, letting his head fall back slightly as he clung to a piece of clothing in his closet for support.

“(Y/N), you’re making this...ahhh,” he couldn’t finish his sentence as you moved your tongue along the crook of his neck up to his ear. Your hands roamed the front of his body as you held him close to you.

“Jin,” you whispered in his ear, your hands stopped at the towel.

“Hmm?” he said, biting his lower lip as you grabbed at the fabric around his waist.

“Do you still want me?” you purred into his ear as you stuck your fingers in through his towel, running them along the skin at his hip. Jin grabbed your wrist and removed your hand. He turned around so that he was now facing you.

“(Y/N),” he groaned as you felt his hands run down your back, cupping your bottom so he could pull you into him. “Want isn’t even the word.”

His hands traveled down your thigh as he pulled your dress over your hips. The space between you disappeared as your lips collided against each other, overlapping each other glacially. You moaned into him as you felt his hand slide down the bare skin on the back of your thighs. His other hand mirrored the action and suddenly, you couldn’t feel the ground beneath you. He picked you up and threw your legs around him. You cupped his face with one hand and with your free arm, you held on to him for support. The sound of both of you moaning and panting filled the room as he carried you over to his computer chair.

As he plopped down, you adjusted your self, straddling him while your other hand cupped his other cheek. His hands fell down to your bottom again, gripping onto you as you continued to taste each other. Your tongues danced together, lapping feverishly against each other. Jin pushed your dress up your stomach, past your breast slowly as he ghosted his hands over them. You pulled away for a second so he could successfully extract the dress off you but continued that minute he glimpsed at the way you looked in your undergarments.

“It’s been...so long,” you said amidst the messy kisses. “I can...I can’t wait.” He chuckled at you as his mouth moved from your lips to the space in between your breast. Jin started kissing and licking against your skin as his hands reach around you and started undoing the clasps of your bra. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, letting your hand run through the hair behind his head as he devoured you. When he successfully undid your bra, he slid the straps down your arms and discarded it across the room. Jin’s hands cupped at your breasts and he brought them down to him. Pushing them together, he looked up at you as he ran his tongue over your nipple, swirling around it lightly before darting to your other nipple. His tongue working on that nipple before darting back to the other. Then back again. The sensation of him alternating back and forth quickly caused your heat to throb. He did this slowly at first, loving the way you rocked your hips against him. You could feel his erection through the fabric of the towel, wanting to rip it off him and feel that member inside you.

His motions became faster, sucking and licking at both your breasts in intervals. At first you were panting and moaning softly at his touch, but as he bite at you softly, you let out a small whimper that put him over the edge. He pulled the towel off him from under you and he placed two fingers against your heat, feeling the juices that soaked through your panties.

“Do I make you this wet, (Y/N)?” he growled as he pushed the fabric aside, running a finger against your entrance. You groaned needily and collapsed on him, your head resting on his as you held him tightly to you. “You don’t want to wait?” he whispered into your ear.

“I can’t wait,” you whined as he teased you, moving his thumb against your clit. “I need you, Jin. I need you so bad.” And those words were true because you couldn’t wait. Your hand coasted down between  you two. Without haste, you grabbed his cock pushed his hand aside as you brought it to your entrance.

“Look it how wet you made me,” you cooed as you started to pump him slowly, rubbing the tip of his cock along your soaked essence. He twitched underneath you and mumbled a few curses under his breath. Jin’s hands traveled back to your bottom but this time he grabbed at it firmly, as if trying to hold himself up. “Do you really want to, tesoro?” he whimpered as you teased him, picking up the pace in your wrist. “You want to fuck me?”

“No,” he grunted, grabbing your hand away from his length as he jerked his hips forward. He slipped inside you aggressively, stretching you out without warning. You threw yourself forward into him, moaning loudly into his shoulder. At first, he was guiding your hips slowly. The pain of his member piercing inside you was being dulled down by pleasure. You shifted on him and directed his head against your spot.

“Jin...you’re fucking me now aren’t you?” your voice was shaky as you found your rhythm and started grinding against him. His lips parted and his head rolled back as you rolled into him. Jin ignored your question as he got lost in you. Your breast moving and bouncing as you rode him, the way your hair brushed against his face. You could feel him throbbing inside you lightly. He was close, but he was holding back. You started tantalizing him, bouncing on him instead. The way your womanhood suctioned around him as your body eased in and out of him caused him to grip at your waist, pushing you up and down him a little bit faster.

“(Y/N)...” he husked as you tightened your walls around him. “I can’t fuck you…” your eyes met and locked before he spoke again. “Because...uhhh...you aren’t,” his cock slammed into your spot again, causing you to moan loudly. You felt his length twitch inside you again at the sound. “You aren’t a fuck...I lov-ahhh fuck…” The walls of your womanhood started to tighten unwillingly around him. You bounced on his cock faster and with more force, constantly crashing against your spot. Instantaneously, he started to bring his hips up and push himself into you.

“Come with me, jagi...come with me,” he begged breathlessly as he brought you down to him, embracing you as you bounced your bottom up and down. Your fingernails dug into his back as you felt pure euphoria blast through your whole body, setting all your nerve receptors on fire.

“Jin,” you chanted over and over again as you gushed all over his thighs. He grunted lowly as your muscles twitched against him, bringing him to his climax. A loud moan escaped his lips as he shot his load inside you. His body quivering and shaking underneath you as you rode out his and your orgasm.

The both of you sat there for a minute, panting heavily and sighing loudly. Jin’s hands rested at your bottom and he leaned his head against your arm. His lips brushed against your inner bicep and he kissed the spot repeatedly as you regained your breath.

“Jagi,” Finally breaking the silence, he ran his hands up and down your back lightly. “I’m sorry.” Taken aback by his words, you sat back and looked at him quizzically.

“Sorry? For what?” you uttered breathlessly. He brought his hands up to your hips and looked at you with sincerity.

“For creating a scene yesterday, putting you in an awkward position. I should have walked away earlier. There are things I shouldn’t have said to him. Not because they aren’t true but because they caused everything to escalate. This whole thing should have been settled more maturely...and for that I’m sorry.” As he spoke, you couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows and run a hand through his hair.

“I see,” you raked your fingers through his hair again, loving the way his wet locks felt against your palms and between your fingers. “Well apology not accepted. You have nothing to apologize for, Jin. I think if I was in your position, I would have handled things similarly or...stupidly,” he cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips as you spoke. His eyes threatening to close as you continued to comb through his hair. “You handled everything better than anyone else probably would. I mean, you’re here with me now. Who would want to see me after last night?” Jin sighed and grabbed the hand that was working into his hair. He brought it down to his mouth and kissed your wrist lightly.

“You might be right. But I can only speak for myself. And I’m not proud of how I acted. Chanyeol shouldn’t be either but I digress,” his face scrunched up as he uttered his name.

“So you’re not mad at me?” you asked timidly. He raised an eyebrow and kissed your wrist again.

“No, I wouldn't say I’m not mad. I’m just coping with it,” he let out a sigh and grabbed your other hand before he continued. “When I met you, I knew what pretenses they were under. What you were about. The things you wouldn’t tolerate…” he licked his lips and looked at you tenderly. “Your fear of falling in love...and that’s all okay. It’s fine. Ultimately, it’s my fault for making it out to be more than what it was and making it about love.”

“Jin,” you stopped him abruptly. “Making what about love? What are you saying?” He blinked at your several times, you saw his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard.

“Right…” he sighed and bit his lip, putting his arms around your waist bringing you closer to him. “Jagi, there was something I wanted to tell you yesterday, do you remember?” You shook your head at him, nervously.

“Yes, I do.” For a second, he stopped breathing and his hands trembled against your hips. He looked down momentarily, as if trying to find the words to say in between your naked bodies but then he looked up at you. The silence was giving you anxiety.

“(Y/N)...” he brought a hand up to your cheek and looked deeply into your eyes.

“I...I love you.”

A/N ;; Guy pleaseeee don’t forget to check out the playlist. It definitely sets the mood for this story. Even if you listen to the first 4 songs on the list. Anyway, let me know what you guys think in my inbox or on here. Stay tuned! <3 Thank you for reading you beautiful person you.

[argentarium]

kara sevda (3) ↠ stilinski

author ; fessa

rating ; 18+ nsfw

pairing ; fuckboy!stiles X oc!reader

word count ; 3003

warnings ; angst

a/n ; u guys r making me cry with all your support, thank u for all the feedback, i really appreciate it and i love u guys :,) p.s. playlist coming soon

i. ii. - iv.

*not my gif*

kara sevda

/noun/

1. blinding love;

literally translates as “black love”

The past couple weeks went by with blur. When you first saw your Gran again, that’s when all the tears began to pour out. You held it in for a while but when you saw her in the hospital bed you just lost it.

You were barely in school because you needed to keep driving down south to take care of your Gran as much as possible with your dad. It was a horrible schedule to balance but it kept you on your feet. Your mind was mostly occupied and you didn’t really think about how you were feeling but how everything was going around you. You simply didn’t have time to think about yourself and you liked it, because if you could really just sit down and think about what has been going on, it would rip your mind in half.

That’s when your father made the decision. He hated how you kept travelling back and forth from Beacon Hills down to Emeryville, California. He was able to be transferred down south with his job and you were going to be moving down to be closer with your grandma. It did compromise your college plans of going out of state but you had to be with her as much as you could before she died.

It was your last day at Beacon Hills High School. It was the first day you came that week and it was Wednesday already. Scott checked up on you a lot but you rarely had time to talk but you appreciated how he did. Through all of the hell you were going through at the moment you found yourself lucky to have him there, Allison was one lucky girl.

The icy stares never stopped but you continued with your life nonetheless. You had bigger problems to worry about other than stupid high school teens. As you were pushing your way through the crowded halls, you heard your name being called out.

“Y/N!” You turned to see Scott weaseling his way through to catch up to you. “Hey, uh- haven’t seen you around in a while..” He trailed off awkwardly.

You let out an awkward chuckle, “Yeah well I’ve been a little busy lately..” You said, hugging your books to your chest as your eyes trailed down to the ground.

Scott couldn’t help the immense pity that washed over him when he finally spoke to you. Ever since that night, he was torn between you and Stiles. Stiles wanted him erase your friendship with each other but Scott didn’t want to lose his best friend. “Oh.. Right..” Scott mumbled and you nodded your head, about to walk away before he spoke up again. “Uh, how’s Grams doing?” He asked so sweetly, causing a memory to spark in your head.

Scott met Grams a many years back when her illness wasn’t bad yet. She was still able to walk around outside and play with you and your friends. She loved the both of them like they were her own but she always had this feeling about Stiles. As much as she loved Scott, she would often ask about Stiles and want to know what he was up to, you assumed it was favoritism but she was onto something else.

“Oh, um- she’s been.. she’s been sick lately and it’s not looking to good..” You said softly, shifting the books in your arms. You turned and saw him nod in understanding, you didn’t have to have werewolf senses to feel his sorrow. As he was about to say something you cut him off, “I’m moving down to be with her.” You stated abruptly. Someone had to know what was happening. “Wait- What? When?” Scott asked in shock, his eyes almost bulging out of his head.

“Today.”

“Today?!” Scott exclaimed and you glared at him for causing some attention to fall upon you two. “Today?” He repeated much quieter.

“It’s my last day I guess..” You shrugged as you stopped right next to the door of your classroom. “If you want to come see me before I leave, that would be great rather than saying our goodbyes right now.” You chuckled but his facial expression didn’t change.

“What about Stiles?”

The dreaded mention of the name pulled one of your heartstrings. Scott could feel the spike in your heartbeat and smell your uncomfortability. “What about Stiles?” You asked back in a rougher tone.

“Come on, he hasn’t been the same for weeks and you-” Scott cut himself off, staring at you with remorse. “You haven’t been the same either.”

“If you lost your best friends in one night, how would you feel?” You tried your hardest to not snap at him, he didn’t deserve your rage. The mere mention of Stiles triggered you.

“But you’re fine.” Scott stressed but you were certainly not. As you were about to protest he cut you off, “Compared to him!” He added quickly. “Stiles has been off the rails.. He’s been with another girl every night and when he isn’t, h-he’s drinking you know? And you know him, he isn’t like that and his grades are plummeting..”

You heard the worry and fear in Scott’s voice. At this point, you wanted to just yell at Stiles for being so stupid and then hug him after he realizes what’s been wrong. But you couldn’t, Stiles wanted nothing to do with you but listening to Scott stumble over his words like that.. You haven’t seen him so worried about something before.

“What am I supposed to do about that?” You shrugged, keeping your emotions inside although there was no point, Scott could hear your heartbeat spike from being nervous.

“Can you just talk to him?” Scott asked pleadingly, somehow making his eyes seem bigger, and puppy-like.

“Stiles won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me.” You stated, partially true. You had the run in a few weeks back but that was it, no contact with him whatsoever. “And I don’t want to either.” You stated defiantly, folding your arms across your chest.

Scott rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to be a wolf to be able to tell that you are lying.” He said, rubbing his crooked chin before looking at the ceiling in thought. “Just talk to him, you don’t want any loose ends before you leave, right?” He raised a brow, holding his hands out to urge you on. “It’s your last day, you won’t see him again for however long, can you just try?”

You looked at him with annoyance. You didn’t want to comply, you wanted to just leave and forget, but there was a part of you that wanted to talk to Stiles, make it all better. You didn’t want to lose your best friend already. It may have only been a year but usually friendships last much longer than that. And those damn puppy eyes Scott gave you were the bane of your existence.

“Fine.” You muttered through grit teeth, watching as Scott silently fistbumped the air in achievement. “But how are you going to get him to? He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Trust me, I can make it happen.”

“What do you mean there’s a werewolf in the janitor’s closet?!” Stiles whispered as loud as he could to his best friend as they were speed walking down the hallways.

“I mean there is a werewolf in the janitor’s closet at the end of the hall!” Scott said shaking his head, waving his hands around in the air like it was obvious. “Just shut up and walk.” He muttered, knowing his lie was terrible.

As the two approached the door, their steps became much quieter and Scott moved a finger up to his lips. Stiles nodded his head, creeping behind Scott, watching him carefully open the door.

Stiles tentatively payed attention, peering his head over Scott’s shoulder until the door was open. Scott motioned to let Stiles go first but Stiles’ face was already twisted in confusion as he began to walk inside, “Scott, there’s nothing in-” The spastic boy was immediately cut off as Scott forcefully pushed the skinny kid into the dimly lit closet.

Your head snapped up as you heard the door slam. You sighed, putting your phone in your back pocket, there was a reason why Scott never came up with the plan. “Hi.” You said shortly, looking at the boy you fell in love with right in front of you.

Stiles didn’t say a word but glared then turned toward the door, pounding it hard, “Scott, let me out of here!” He ordered, not even looking at your face but his eyes burning holes in the wooden door.

“No!” Scott replied. “Not until you guys make up.”

“I didn’t want to do this either..” You said, drawing your eyes on the ground so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. You agreed that you didn’t want to be in the same room as him, you felt it would’ve been easier if you just left.

“Then tell Scott to let us out of here.” Stiles grunted, folding his arms across his chest as he rested his back against the shelf.

“But this needs to be fixed.” You reminded yourself out loud, it was for closure. Like Scott said, you didn’t want any loose ends. Twiddling with your fingers shakily, you didn’t let him speak, “Look Stiles, I am sorry I said that, it was an accident..”

“You don’t get it, do you, Y/N?” Stiles spat, causing you to look up at his angered face. “Nothing will ever be the same between us and I will never love you that way.”

Stiles’s words were like knives, scraping on the strings of your heart and ripping you to pieces. He was right, and the mere thought of it was bringing tears to your eyes. But you had to keep trying, Stiles always came around.

“I’m really sorry, Stiles. I want to fix this, I want to fix us and all I want is to be your friend again, like we were before.” Your voice faltered, you were practically begging at this point. You kept your eyes focused on his chest, staring into those whiskey eyes would make you so weak.

Stiles drew his lips in a thin line and shook his head, beginning to pace in the small space. “This can’t be fixed. There is nothing that will ever fix what happened.”

You nodded your head, feeling your eyes well up again until a single tear rolled down your cheek. Your vision was blurry as you tried to keep your eyes open, not blinking so the tears wouldn’t fall. “I know-”

“You know this is your fault, right?” Stiles barked, cutting you off as your body twitched in shock. “You can’t even look at me right now! And you are trying to get us back to normal? Piecing us together again is impossible, Y/N. Whatever was between us before..” He said darkly, moving closer to you. “.. is gone.”

You swallowed a thick lump that was sitting in the back of your throat, which in turn let all the tears stream down. You finally looked up at him and couldn’t find any hope in those amber eyes, just a cold, heartless void showing the Stiles you knew and loved was no longer there all because you ruined it.

You cleared your throat, trying to tame your emotions to match his stiff demeanor. “Just to be clear,” You began as you brought your hands up to wipe away the tears. “We are no longer going to be friends or anything else from now on because I ruined it?” You asked, summarizing everything Stiles blamed you for and wanted.

Stiles’s look never changed, his arms still folded across his puffed chest defensively and no feelings of remorse passed his eyes. You were so desperately trying to find a sign that showed he cared but there was none. It was like your whole past with him was erased, the moments you shared on a video call, or when Lydia was in the hospital after being bitten and he was terrified for her, you were there for all of it.

“Correct.” Stiles confirmed, the word easily rolling off his tongue.

You swallowed once again before nodding your head, the simple word ringing in your mind again and again. “Alright.” You responded softly, clearing your throat. “I won’t bother you anymore and you won’t ever want to be friends again..” You sighed, reminding yourself of what he wanted.

You motioned him to move out of the way as you moved towards the door, patting softly. “Scott?” You asked out, pressing against the door. “You can let us out now.”

Not a moment later you heard the lock click and watched the doorknob twist from the outside. Scott pulled the door open slowly, letting the hinges creak loudly. He didn’t look at you, he was unhappy too, thinking Stiles would come around but he didn’t. The only time Stiles let him down.

And you.. You weren’t a mess like you thought you would be. That was the only time you were able to focus on something, you had been pushing your feelings aside for weeks already from being so busy all the time. After everything that had just happened, you didn’t feel pain anymore but you couldn’t tell if it was acceptance or not. All you felt was this numbness.. a feeling that you began to like.

Scott was kind enough to stop by your house and help you pack the rest of your things in your car. You were supposed to leave at three-thirty, but Scott insisted you stayed to wait. The two of you were sat on your steps of your porch, looking at the clouds moving through the sky. Scott claimed he knew Stiles better than you, which you didn’t necessarily doubt. The two were best friends way before you came around, he knew Stiles like no one else but at this point, Stiles was unpredictable.

“Scott, this is pointless already.” You sighed staring into the distance from your porch before looking down at your phone as it was already four o’clock. Scott had convinced to stay a little longer because he was so sure that Stiles would change his mind and come running back to you. “If Stiles wanted to fix things with me he would’ve shown up thirty minutes ago..” You said hopelessly.

You tried to not get your hopes up, burying all of your emotions deep down because you knew he would not come around. Stiles never let you down.. But that changed. And as much as you really wished he would just come back and sweep you up in his arms, it wasn’t going to happen. And you were just trying to accept it.

“No, he’s coming, give it another five minutes..” Scott piped up. “He’s probably finishing homework or-”

You turned your head looking over to Scott. He looked so hopeful. You checked your phone once more and noticed two more minutes had already gone by. You kept your feelings inside and set the phone down on your steps quietly. “Scott, it’s okay..”

“No, Y/N, it’s not okay. Stiles is just being - difficult - right now, you’ve never doubted him before so don’t start doubting him now.” Scott declared with confidence, taking your hand and looking you in the eyes. “Stiles would not do this to you.”

“Scott, some friendships don’t work out.” You breathed truthfully, turning your head away and looking towards the horizon. “It’s been like a month already and he still looks at me like I am worthless. I can’t chase after someone who doesn’t want me even as an acquaintance because I have been the patient one here and I can’t let this happen to me anymore.”

You felt Scott’s stare at the side of your head, “Y/N.. He loves you.”

You wiped your eyes, feeling a tear beginning to roll down your cheek as you were shaking your head, “No, Scott. Stiles loves Lydia. The girl he has been pining after since the third grade because he is not good enough for her just like how I am not good enough for him.” Your voice faltered, admitting the truth, noticing how hard it was to actually accept it.

“Who is going to come up with our plans? W-Who is going to be there when we screw up and we could die on the spot?” Scott began to list just as your dad honked the car horn. “We need you, Y/N. Stiles needs you, I need you, we all need you.”

Your dad was motioning for you to come to the car. There was still no sign of Stiles and you weren’t that disappointed. You stood up and Scott did the same. “Scotty, you need each other more than you need me. You’re never going to be given something that you can’t handle. By the time this whole supernatural drama is over, you won’t even remember why you needed me.” You said letting a smile start up on your face. You were calmer and accepting it slowly became easier.

Scott pulled you into a bear hug, nuzzling his face in your shoulder, “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“But I am going to need you to do me a favor..” You mumbled.

“Hmm?”

You pulled apart from him, “Don’t let him contact me if he decides to have second thoughts.” You told him, knowing it was for the best.

“But Y/N…”

“Scott, please.” You said softly and he nodded his head after a moment. You couldn’t let Stiles just waltz back into your life if he pleased and you didn’t want anymore drama in your life. You gave Scott one last hug before you walked to your dad’s car, getting into the passenger’s side.

“Ready to go?” Your dad asked, offering a smile as he fastened his seatbelt.

“Ready as I’ll ever be…”

tags :) ; @squirels-angels-and-moose @were-cheetah-stiles @shameless-danni @danopeg @aestheticallytrashysunflower @lcnelykth @rememberstilinski @wydobrien @amethystmerm4id @charmedjeri @itskatiemahoney @leilaelizabth @pufflethehuff @parislight @unfoxs @infinitydunbar @ellie-bee242 @iknowisoundcrazy @mieczzyslaw