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#penelope garcia x fem!reader
NOT REQUESTED
penelope garcia x stud!reader
jus reader and penelope. brief encounter with unnamed florist. brief mention of kevin.
After not having been able to spend quality time with your girlfriend for two weeks, you plan something special to remind her of what she means to you.
Pure Fluff
Established relationship. Mentions of lust and arousal, hints of future smut. Vague mentions of insecurity. No use of Y/N.
2.1k WORDS
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You haven't seen your girlfriend, Penelope, for two weeks. Not really. Sure, the two of you shared a bed, but you guys never got home around the same time. Especially not with both of your jobs being kind of hectic right now. When you got home sometimes, Penelope was already soundly asleep. When you woke, she was already gone. Then, there were times where that pattern was reversed, but it all just depended on what was going on at you guys' respective jobs. That said, you two had been in this share a bed only space for a little over a month now, and it was really starting to drive you both crazy.
Things had calmed down at your job a bit. You guys had wrapped up a big project a few days ago, and the post-project chaotic buzz was finally starting to wear off. Penelope had texted you today, informing you that her team had just wrapped their latest case, and that there was a chance she could be home by seven tonight. That was when the gears in your head begin to turn.
Able to leave work early, you had headed straight to the grocery store, bought all the ingredients for her favorite dinner. Now, you were at a flower shop. There was this surprise arrangement that she liked that you did for her. It always consisted of her favorite flower being dominating with other pretty, unfamiliar flowers sprinkled in. She liked to look up the meaning of the flowers later.
"Excuse me, I need flowers," you says and the woman gives you a smile that politely says obviously, and you continue for clarification, "My bad. What I mean is, I need a bouquet that tells a specific emotional story, conveys a message, really."
"Mkay," the woman nods, "And, what would you like your flowers to say?"
"I love you, I've missed you. It's an honor to be with you. I'm so proud of you and the work you do," you say with ease. Never is it hard to pinpoint of verbalize your feelings for your girlfriend. Maybe in the beginning, but after four years, you've gotten more attached to your own emotions and thus, more expressive. "Um, just a giant thank you for being who she is, and for choosing me, choosing us every day, and throw in a good chunk of daffodils because those are her favorites. I also want it to be as colorful as she is, really bright and beautiful."
"Love, longing, pride and admiration and gratitude," she murmurs to herself as she writes in a little notepad. She looks back up at you, "And, as bright, beautiful and colorful as she is, and who is the she in question, for reference?"
Your eyes light up as you pull out your phone. It's easy enough to find a photo of her. Penelope is both your lockscreen and your phone screen, and she happens to take up about 75% percent of your camera roll. You show her a slew of photos, finding yourself sharing the memories behind each. God, did you miss actually spending time with her.
"Beautiful smile," the worker compliments your girlfriend as you pull your phone away.
"I know, huh?" And, your smile is gleaming with pride. She finds it cute, how in love you are. She takes you around the store then. Showing you various flowers that fit all of your requirments. It's hard to choose, to narrow it down. Before you've realized it, your bouquet has turned into an arrangement. But, it's fine. More money than you had anticipated spending, but you want to make her melt when she gets home tonight, and money is but a small sacrifice.
You head straight home afterward. It's difficult, sometimes, to pinpoint when Penelope will be home. The romantic dinner set up has to be done before then, so there's no room in your time schedule to make any other stops. When you get home, you jump straight into the set up, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect for when Penelope comes home.
Which doesn't happen. You're only about a quarter of the way finished with your meal by the time she gets home, but you did set up. So, when she walks through the door of you guys' home, you hear a delighted squeal of awe at how beautiful everything looked. Turning the stove down, you dash out of the kitchen, shouting in a frantic dismay, pleading for her to close her eyes and cover them. When you reach her, her eyes are still open and she's got the most adorable confused expression on her face.
"My surprise," you say, covering her eyes for her as you begin to guide her to you guys' bedroom, "for you is incomplete, and I don't want you to see anything else until I am completely ready so you can't be up here," you inform her, nudging the bedroom door open with your foot. When you've guided her to the bed, you gently push her down. You grab a pin. "Look into the pen."
She giggles, "I'm looking." You click the pen, and playing along, she blinks, mimicking confusion rather well minus the smile in her eyes. "Where am I? How did I get here?" She asks, unable to stop her giggles from escaping her yet again. You smile, loving her a little bit more now for having played along with your mind wiping pen, Men in Black reference without so much as a second thought. You really didn't think it was possible for you to have a better girlfriend.
You lean down and kiss her before dashing out of the room. "I'll come back for you when everything is ready!"
She swoons, watching you sprint back to the front. You were quite possible the sweetest person she's ever known. If not that, you were definitely the sweetest, most kind person she had ever dated. If you were going to go out of your way to surprise her, she would do a little something to surprise you as well. While you work on your preparations, she pulls out your favorite dress of hers. She showers her day away before slipping into it and redoing her hair and make up, wearing your favorite piece of lingrie underneath. She didn't know what you had in store, but she wanted you to fall to your knees the next time you saw her.
After some time, you finished up cooking the meal. Taking your time, you were so careful how you set the table, about making sure you set out the forks and such the correct way. It was never something you personally remembered; you'd had to google. Penelope wouldn't be able to tell, either. If the placements were correct or not. but every time you guys had ever gone to one of those fancy restaraunts that care about placements like that, she always got excited about how nice everything was. She always commented on the silverware, and it was always so precious to you. So, yeah, you made sure to get it right. You were also extremely careful about the presentation of the food as you fix you guys' plates. She liked to take pictures so you wanted it to be picture perfect. When you were satisfied with your efforts, you make good on your promise to go back and get her.
Upon opening your bedroom door, you see Penelope, examining herself in the mirror, wearing that dress that makes your knees go weak. The one that's in your favorite color, the one that hugs her curves and highlights the beauty of her shape in the most heavenly of ways. The one that does absolute wonders for her cleavage. The one that makes you damn near drool, makes you want to drop to your knees and have a different kind of meal. As your eyes trail back upward to meet her eyes, you find her smirking at the unabashed lust in your eyes. You pull yourself together. You want tonight to be so much more than just about sexual intimacy, and you had put so much energy into preparing everything to give her a full experience. You've waited weeks. You could a bit longer. You clench your jaw and clear your throat.
Extending your arm for her to take, "M'lady, your dinner awaits."
Coming forward to you, she takes your hand and kisses your cheek. Continuing to hold her hand, you wrap free arm around her waist and start to guide her down the hall. Eyes uncovered this time, she gasps in wonderment at the bright, white Christmas lights you've hung in arches in the hall way. She loves the face that she's walking on rose petals, even if they are fake ones. She swoons at how you've turned the entire apartment into a romantic wonderland on a random weekday, for no reason at all. The more she takes it all in, the more anxious she finds herself to repay you later on tonight. Reaching the kitchen, the first thing she sees is the arrangement you had made acting as a centerpiece.
She squeezes your hand, "Oh my God," she gushes, "They're so lucious and so so beautiful!"
You feel your heart flutter in your chest at the sound of her joy. Buying her flowers and plants was a big thing for you. You always stressed over it so much because you knew how much she valued plant life and pretty things. You'd yet to gift her a plant, bouquet or flower arrangement that she didn't like, but a part of you still held your breath until she saw it every time.
"I have a card of the names of all the flowers in the arrangement on it." You tell her and she looks at you with the softest eyes. "I know how you like to look up the meanings for yourself later." You add, as the two of you get closer to the table. When you guys are close enough, you let her go so you can pull out her chair. as your doing this, she leans in to smell the arrangement. With her chair pulled out, you help her sit before pushing her chair back in, pouring her a glass of wine before doing the same for yourself at taking your seat.
"Ooh!" she exclaims, "How fancy!" And you smile, not even having to look at her to know she's referencing the silverware placements. "And, dinner smells amazing, baby, thank you."
You shrug, downplaying your efforts, "I just wanted to do a little somethin' for you."
"A little something?" She asks, eyebrows raised, giggling, "Baby, you've turned our home into a five star dining experience." She notes, squinting just a little, "What is all this?"
"Nothing really," you answer, "I've just missed you a lot, and I wanted to do something for you."
Penelope all but melts in her chair. She doesn't think she'll ever say it outloud, because she's ashamed of the thought, but for a while, she thought Kevin was as good as she was ever going to get. Even after they broke up. But, then, she met you, and sometimes, she still feels like you aren't really.
"Where did you come from?"
"I materialized from your sweetest dreams," is your answer with a grin.
She snorts, playfully, "I couldn't have imagined you if I tried. You, my love, are more magical than unicorns."
Your smile widens, "I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
The two of you start in on your meal after that, and she moans at the first bite. You guys talk, really talk for the first time in two weeks, catching up on all things new. You talk about work, but not about any of the dark or boring parts, no. You two keep it light, tell each other about the new gossip updates in your respective offices. You've missed this more than you had realized. For a brief moment, your heartbreaks a little for people who don't get to experience what you two share.
"You know," she says with a light air of casualness, "I have a surprise for you of my own tonight." And, the implication is clear. It hangs heavy in the air as you resort to speechlessness in favor of sputtering your words. Penelope knew exactly what to do to make your brain melt out of your head, to take every bit of intellect in you and wash it away. That statement, in that dress, it takes all your effort to get through dinner. It's hard to focus on anything with your boxers becoming more increasingly soaked in anticipation of what she had in store for you later.
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Hey love you’re writing. could I get a smutty Penelope Garcia from criminal minds please ??
the lack of penelope fics is criminal honestly
masterlist
lunch date
18+ : smut; office sex, fingering, lots of kissing, pet names, hints at dom!penelope
It smelled like bubblegum and peach perfume when you stepped through the doorway of her office, shutting the door behind you with a click. 
“Hi, sugar.” She grinned, not even having to turn around to know it was you. “What can I do for you this fine afternoon?”
“I thought we could have lunch together.” You handed her the food which she took from you gratefully, gazing up at you with a fond smile tugging at her brightly painted lips. 
“Come, sit.” She spoke, tapping the chair beside her but you had other ideas. “Oh! I mean, I meant on the chair but my lap is good too.” She giggled, instantly wrapping her arms around your waist as you situated yourself with your legs either side of hers and your arms looping over her shoulders.
“So maybe I had a couple other ideas, Pen.” You shrugged coyly. 
“Mm, and what may they be?”
“Well, I’ve been so bored at my desk all day. I missed you last night and all I could focus on was that you haven’t touched me for so long.” You pouted at the way she laughed.
“It’s been two days, honey. I don’t think that’s so long.”
“It feels it–” you pressed a kiss to her jaw between your words, “feels like forever since you made me feel good - since you fucked me.” Your last words were spoken in a whisper with your lips grazing the shell of her ear, you felt her shiver at the warmth of your breath and her hold on you tighten. 
“As much as I would love to continue, we’re at work remember? Like, FBI building, people in suits with important work and guns and murdered people-”
“They’re all busy with lunch.” The way you kissed along the column of her throat made her head lean back and any more thoughts of protest fade away. Penelope had always secretly wanted to do something risky at work.
Her hand pulled your face to hers by the back of your head, slotting her lips with yours instantly with the stickiness of her lip gloss and the remnants of the flavour of the caramel latte she’d not long finished drinking. She admired the way the colour had smeared onto your lips when you pulled away breathlessly.
“We won’t have much time before someone comes looking for help with somethin-”
“Oh baby, you know better than to underestimate me.” She winked with that smugness you find so attractive.
With your one hand tangled in her hair and the other on her cheek you pushed your lips to hers again, allowing her tongue to push into yours and her hand to untuck the shirt from your trousers eagerly. She always longed for you that much more when she knew how riled up you were and by the involuntary movements of your hips it must be a lot. 
You’d never come to her this desperately during work hours, with that pleading look in your eyes, so ready for her to take you and she was already planning the evening you were going to have at her apartment later on. 
She pulled open the button of your trousers, pushing her hand beneath the waistband of your underwear as the kiss just grew more heated with desperate smacks of lips and tongues swirling together. She caught the moan at the back of your throat when her fingers slid through your wet slit, discovering the result of your distracted daydreams at your desk. 
“You weren’t kidding, huh?“ She teased you, huffing a laugh at the frown you looked at her with before rewarding you with digits pushing into your pussy with a perfect curl nudging at your sweet spot; she knew your body like the back of her hand, just the way to make your eyes scrunch closed the way that they did. 
Your hands roamed her body, slipping beneath her shirt over the soft skin of her curves, aimlessly holding onto her whilst your lips sucked at her pulse point and her thumb rubbed at your clit blissfully. Her fingers pumped into you in time with the way your hips bucked, desperately trying to chase your orgasm by fucking yourself onto her hand. She found it sweet how pathetic you seemed. 
She hissed at the feeling of your teeth digging into her neck, a reaction to the sublime feelings brought on by her hand, you licked the skin soothingly, instead claiming her lips again with sloppy kisses and stuttered breaths. 
“I want you to cum for me, honey. Show me how good I make you feel, yeah?”
You could only nod at her words, resting your forehead against hers as the coil in your belly tightened and tightened until you fell over the edge with a moan you could’ve muffled better. You pussy clenched around her fingers, soaking them down to her knuckles and your nails dug into the pale skin of her waist, bound to leave marks behind to accompany the hefty one you’d created on her neck. 
She rode you through your high with languid thrusts of her fingers until your body relaxed and your breathing was more even. Your attempt to kiss her again was unsuccessful when she sucked her wet digits into her mouth with a hum at your taste, she only laughed at your pout, pulling you into her softly once she was done. 
You could taste your own cum on her tongue and it made you realise that you weren’t totally satisfied, the next few hours are going to be torturous. You pulled away at the sound of nearing voices, looking towards the door with wide eyes. 
“Someone’s coming.” You rushed out, stumbling slightly at the rate you jumped up from her lap, fumbling with the button of your trousers while Penelope fixed her shirt and hair into place.
“Lips.” She spoke with a point at your face. You were still wiping at your skin, standing a suspiciously large distance away from her, when the door pushed open to let Emily and Derek walk in.
“There you are, we were wondering where you’d gotten to.” Derek smiled when he saw you but Emily just looked at you unreadably, eyeing the guilty looks on your faces and the uneaten food. 
“We were just eating lunch in here today.” Penelope returned with a shrug.
“Sure.” Emily nodded suspiciously, there was something going on and she was determined to get you to spill at some point. 
“Babygirl, we need your expertise.”
“That’s my cue. See you later, Pen.” You waved, hurrying out before Emily could say anything. You groaned to yourself when you received a text message halfway down the hallway. ‘Are you and Garcia fucking??’
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DAY TWENTY-EIGHT: Aftercare w/ Penelope Garcia
a/n: So it appears to me that I must specify that when I write about a female character, they will always either be paired with gender-neutral or fem! reader, and if they are not requested, they will automatically be fem because that's just my personal preference :]
masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3
TAGLIST: @alina02
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As soon as you had come down from your high, Penny was out and up off of you, already heading to her bathroom to run you a bath as you laid down on her bed. You knew how important aftercare was to your girlfriend, so you allowed her to pamper you. You watched in amusement as she sanitized the strap that she had just used on you minutes before, cleaning it up and putting it away as you listened to the sound of the running water. She then rushed out and into her kitchen where you could hear her clammer around before reappearing, your favorite snacks, movies, and drinks in her arms as she set them down on her side table.
"How are you feeling, sweetness?" She asked, sitting down on the bed next to your as she brushed some sweaty hair off of your forehead. You smiled at her, gently taking her hand into yours as you held it. The sheet was pulled up and over your chest so none of "your goods" as Pen would put it, were on show. "I'm feeling good. You were good." You always tried your best to send the praise right back to her, no matter how confident in her skills that she may be. "You were better, even though you just laid there half the time." You laughed, slapping her lightly on her shoulder in embarrassment. "You weren't complaining." You said matter-of-factly.
"I would never." She said in an just as playful voice.
You pushed some of her wildly flung platinum blonde hair off of her shoulders, tucking some of it behind her ear.
"Jeez I did a number on you." You winced at the purple and pink hues that were scattered on the woman's neck. "It's alright hotness, 'cause we match." You raised a brow at her, "Oh do we now?" You asked with a grin. "Mhm." She leaned forward to kiss you again, hands cupping your face as she pulled you into her. "Pen.." You murmured against her lips. She only hummed. "Pen.. the bath." That made her pull away from you quickly.
"Oh! You're right!" She said in a panic, quickly running to the bathroom to make sure it didn't overfill. You watched her with hearts in your eyes, staring fondly at her hot pink robe that she adorned, the streaks of color in her hair, her pink lipstick that was smeared on her face — and yours.
When Derek had decided to play a little match maker and set you up with the colorful woman, you had thought he was insane, partly because of the standards of hers that he had told you were quite high. You knew being the shy and timid girl wasn't going to catch her attention, but to hell if you didn't try.
Somehow a few dates led to where you were now, knees in a four year relationship with the woman. She never discriminated you for being plus size, your fiancé absolutely loving on all of your curves as if they were her own. She was an angel sent from heaven, and there is never a day goes by that you don't want to send Derek a thank you text every time you're able to wake up next to this amazing girl. The idea of being called Mrs. Garcia soon was exciting, and the day couldn't come any faster.
"The temperature feels pretty good! But if you want me too, I can drain some of the water so I can run some cold water in it." She helped you off of the bed and into her awaiting arms, where she helped you walk into the bathroom. "I think it'll be fine, babe. Thank you." As she lowered you into the warm water, you let out a content sigh.
"Are you not going to get in here with me?" You asked, you big puppy dog eyes staring up at her, waiting for her response. "You don't want a whole bath to yourself, sugar?" You shook your head no, biting back a shit eating grin. "It feels too empty without you."
"Oh I'm sure it is slick." She said with a smirk on her face, amusement in her words. "But I suppose I shouldn't keep the missus waiting." Dropping her robe, she got in behind you, your back leaning against her naked chest.
"There we go." You said as you snuggled into her. "Much better.”
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cmthingssss · 5 months
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Wet - Penelope Garcia X Fem!reader
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CW: Shower sex, SMUT, pwp-ish
WC: 880
It was the middle of summer in Virginia, and it was predicted to be one of the hottest summers on record. When you arrived home from work one day, you stepped into your home and it felt like it was 100 degrees. If this was what hell was like, you needed to be a slightly better person. The technician said you needed a completely new unit installed, which would take around two weeks to install and wire. While your A/C was getting fixed, your best friend and confidant Penelope let you stay at her place. Well, you confided in her about everything except for the fact that you were harboring a massive crush on her. Luckily, the second you mentioned getting a hotel, Penelope basically forced you to stay at her place. You weren’t sure if you could stand living with her for two weeks without making a fool of yourself or exposing your crush. Sucking up your pride, you packed enough in the car and traveled to your new home for the next two weeks. The second you arrived, Penelope came running out of the house and pulled you into a hug… where her boobs were closer to your face than appropriate for people who were “just friends”. It was your fault though, she didn’t think of you that way, so there was no need to see something where there wasn’t anything, now. There wasn’t anything now. Once, a couple years ago on your birthday, the two of you hooked up. And then you did it again on her birthday. Whoops. To be fair, she was a temptress and you failed to resist her charm each time. You were brought out of your daydream to her snapping in your face and staring at you. “Huh?”
“Y/N. Did you hear anything I was saying?” She looked pissed, you wondered how long you were daydreaming for. It’s okay though because she was hot when she was pissed. No. Don’t go there.
“I’m really sorry Pen, I got lost in my thoughts.” Penelope just frowned and allowed you to follow her into the house. As soon as the door slammed, you decided to apologize again. “Pen, I really am sorry, I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” Right as you were about to get on your knees and grovel, she forgave you with a kiss on your cheek. “I don’t have a guest room, so you can just sleep with me! We’ve done it before and it’s no big deal.” Your throat dried up. Having to quickly avoid sleeping in the same bed with her for two weeks, you quickly replied with an offer to sleep on the couch. Of course, she promptly denied the offer and pulled you into the bedroom with her. 
“I’m exhausted. Do you mind if I take a shower first?” Penelope shook her head no and you began to gather your shower stuff. Unbeknownst to you, this would change your relationship with Penelope forever. As into Penelope you were, she was more into you, and she really didn’t hide it. I flirt with her all the time, and I put my boobs in her face, what more can a girl do? This is when her idea came to fruition. You were taking a shower, she wanted to watch, so that’s what she was going to do. You entered the shower and decided you were going to take a while. The stress and exhaustion could be finished if you could. Was it the best idea to masturbate in your best friend's shower while she’s right outside? No, it’s not. You propped one leg on the built-in bench in the shower and slipped two fingers inside yourself. Furiously pumping, you brought your other fingers down to your clit and began rubbing tight circles. Right when you were about to finish, Penelope entered the bathroom. You stared at her like a deer in headlights while she had a knowing smirk on her face. As she walked closer, you started slipping your fingers out of yourself. She arrived before you could and shoved them back in there. You let out a moan from the force she put on you. “Penny, um… I don’t know what to say.” 
“Don’t worry baby. I can help. Just let me get undressed.” She got undressed as quickly as possible and jumped in her spacious shower with you. Penelope encouraged you to sit on the bench as she lowered herself to her knees. Instinctually, you went to close your legs, but she placed her shoulders between them before you could. Garcia looked up at you for a sign before she began her task, you answered with a nod. She dove into your pussy with her tongue. 
“Shit. Fuck. Penelope, don’t stop.” Once she sped up and added her fingers into the mix, you were a goner. After a few minutes of her eating you out like you were the last meal she was going to have, you came all over her face. “I love you Penelope Garcia. And I’m not just saying that because you made me cum.” 
“I love you too idiot, I thought it was obvious.” You two shared a loving kiss and finished the shower.
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donnydamakkk · 8 months
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⏤͟͟͞͞ PENELOPE GARCIA MASTERLIST
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࿏━━━━━━ ◦ FICS with OCS ◦ ━━━━━━࿏
nothing yet.
࿏━━━━━━ ◦ FICS with CHARACTERS ◦ ━━━━━━࿏
nothing yet.
࿏━━━━━━ ◦ FICS with READER ◦ ━━━━━━࿏
PENELOPE GARCIA SHORTS
[VARIOUS] various
A collection of short stories for Penelope Garcia
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pathologicalreid · 5 months
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nicknames | S.R.
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in which you meet the team for the first time, and receive your first nickname
who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader
category: fluff
content warnings: reader is referred to as a girl. i have this headcanon where when reid's IQ gets slashed to 60, he'd get so distracted that he'd run on autopilot, hence the willingness to handshake.
word count: 591
a/n: happy finals szn! this fic has been rotting in my brain for weeks and i finally decided to flesh it out. and maybe you should like and reblog this if you enjoy it (no pressure tho)
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You were still filtering through your entry paperwork when the rest of the team filtered into the bullpen. David Rossi, who had helped you land this job in the first place, nodded in your direction before disappearing into his office. “Hey!” Someone called from across the bullpen, “Y/N, right?” Emily asked, setting her go bag in the chair at her desk before making her way over to your desk.
Smiling in response, “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you responded, reaching your hand out for her to shake. It was nice to be in the BAU, complete with a promotion from Special Agent to Supervisory Special Agent.
JJ walked over next, waving, and introducing herself as the communications liaison. “I’ve heard a lot of great things from your old CARD team,” she said, “I’m sure your skillset will come in handy here.”
You nodded in affirmation, “That’s the hope!” You answered, smiling at the prospect of your old team singing your praises.
Next, Derek approached, reaching out his hand for you to shake. Of course, you obliged and grinned at him. Part of you felt like you were meeting celebrities, the BAU was a big deal in the bureau. “Derek Morgan,” he introduced himself, “How long were you with CARD?”
“Five years,” you responded, it was a long time for anyone to deal solely with child abduction, but your team had the best rate in the bureau. Besides, you found the work rewarding.
Morgan’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “that’s impressive.”
You nodded, “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to working with you all.”
JJ looked behind her, “Oh, have you met Garcia?” She asked, peeking around the corner to where the technical analyst's office was.
Glancing down at the cat-shaped stress toy that she had given you when you arrived this morning, you smiled, “Yes, she was the first to greet me this morning. I think I’m just missing Dr. Reid.”
As if on cue, the young doctor walked into the bullpen, he had a worn leather satchel over his shoulder and looked like he might be talking to himself, “Reid!” Emily called over, getting his attention, and causing him to change course, approaching your desk. “Come meet, Y/N.”
He adjusted the strap of his satchel over his sweater before you reached out your hand for him to shake. “Oh, he doesn’t…” JJ began, but her voice trailed off when Dr. Reid shook your hand.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” you said, smiling at him. It felt good to know you had finally met the entire team.
He gave a close-lipped smile in return, “Reid is fine, or Spencer.” He said as you each dropped your hands to your sides.
Noticing everyone looking back and forth between the two of you as if you had already managed to do something wrong, you gathered all of your paperwork in your hands, “I should get this to Hotch.”
The rest of the team got the message and started to disperse to their respective desks, Reid’s being adjacent to yours. “Welcome to the team, pretty girl,” Morgan said to you before turning to his own paperwork.
You hugged your paperwork to your chest as if you were protecting it. Quietly, you muttered, “I really hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”
Across from you, there was a short laugh, almost a scoff. “It will,” Spencer responded in the same reverent tone. For a second, you thought it might be a joke, but you could tell by his facial expression that he was serious.
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rynbutt · 7 days
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safe. | spencer reid.
You were pregnant but JJ had just left the team and they needed you. You hadn't told anyone; you hadn't even told Spencer.
my masterlist!
cw: fem!reader, pregnant!reader, guns, violence, mentions of murder, mentions of drugs (antidepressants and opioids), mentions of car accident, gunshot wounds, death of pregnant woman, general criminal minds themes.
wc: 6.2k
a/n: bruh this was a looooong one! dw some banging smut coming in the next one with post-prison reid >:3
now playing... Fare Well by Hozier
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This was really starting to piss you off.
You fell to your knees as bile pushed up your throat, your skin paling as you vomited for the third time today. You tried to keep something, anything, down but you would just wind up curled in on yourself and sweating in the corner of the bathroom stall. You ate a couple of crackers and sipped on water to keep your empty stomach satiated– But you always ended up right back here on the bathroom floor with your head between your knees trying to will the pain away.
Emily noticed your pale complexion and how exhausted you looked, offering to get you some medicine or ask Hotch about sitting out of the next few cases. You told her you were fine, that it was just stress. That answer seemed to satisfy her enough, though she wasn’t fully convinced. To be fair, your workload had increased tenfold since JJ was forced to accept the job at the Pentagon, and you missed her terribly but you were proud of her. But you really could have used her advice right about now.
Because you swore this baby had it out for you.
You found out you were pregnant just over a week ago and you still hadn’t told Spencer. You were still wrapping your head around the whole thing because initially, you didn’t think you were pregnant, you just thought your body was dealing with the stress and workload in, frankly, a bizarre way. Hotch had wanted you to take over doing JJ’s job as communication liaison, which were rather important shoes to fill. He had total faith in your ability to do JJ’s job as well as do your own as a profiler, but you weren’t so sure anymore. 
You would tell Spencer when you were ready and right now was not a good time. Everyone was surviving on four hours of sleep a night, far too many cups of coffee and sheer willpower. The absolute last thing they needed was to lose another team member. So you soldiered on like a champion– a champion who still held her head over the bureau’s less than impressive toilet while she threw her guts up.
“Y/N?” You didn’t even hear the bathroom door open, the ringing rattling around your skull distracting you from your surroundings. Penelope’s heels clicked against the tiles as she cautiously peered around the wall of the last stall where you kneeled on the ground. “Oh my god, sweet thing! What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine, Pen,” your voice was hoarse when you finally replied. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and tried to smooth your hair down, attempting to look at least semi-presentable before you left the bathroom to pretend everything was okay.
“No, no, my girl, you are not fine!” Penelope stood in behind you, pulling your hair out of your face as you vomited the last remnant of your soul into the toilet. “You need to talk to Hotch, you’ve got a bug or something, my dear. You shouldn’t even be at work when you’re this sick, let me talk to him for you and you just go home–”
“I’m not sick, Penelope!” You didn’t mean to shout at her, you really didn’t, you just felt awful and felt like a shell of yourself with how poorly you’d been sleeping and eating paired with all the stress of doing JJ’s job as well as your own. It was just a lot.
Penelope went quiet but stayed close to you, still holding your hair as you sat back on your heels, running your hands down your face. She let out a soft sigh, knowing you didn’t mean to shout at her. Penelope was stressed too– everyone was.
“I’m sorry, Pen,” you mumbled, your throat hurting from all the vomiting and coughing you’d managed to do today– it had to be a record honestly. 
Penelope just shook her head at you, reaching her hand out toward you, “you don’t have to apologise, sweet girl, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate.” You shook your head, you still felt bad and shouting at sweet Penelope was not the way to deal with all the emotions swirling around in your head.
“It’s not fair,” you replied as she helped you to your feet, gently guiding you over to the basin to help you clean yourself up. “You’re stressed too, I didn’t mean to yell.”
Penelope brushed some of your hair out of your face, her gaze narrowing as she watched you, waiting for you to tell her what was going on. It never came and she knew she would have to push you a little. Penelope thought it was necessary though because seeing you like this was awful and she couldn’t even imagine how Spencer would react if he knew how sick you were.
“What’s going on?” Penelope’s voice was soft; gentle, just trying to get you to talk so she could help. You were stubborn when it came to asking for help and by the time you did, you had hurt yourself more than necessary trying to solve it yourself. Not this time though– Penelope refused.
“I’m okay–” you looked at Penelope and she raised her brows at you, not accepting that answer in the slightest. You sighed, knowing this is a fight you wouldn’t win. “I’m pregnant.”
Penelope’s jaw nearly hit the floor. She knew something was up with you but pregnant? That was not on this year's bingo card. “What?? Y/N that’s–” she gauged your expression and she really couldn’t tell if you were upset or happy about being pregnant. She cut herself off before she finished her sentence, pulling her lips into a line. “Are we happy about this news or are we…?”
“We’re…” you were happy. Honestly, you were. You and Spencer had talked about having kids one day, ideally after you were married but that didn’t seem to be going to plan. You’d been with Spencer for three years, in the BAU for four, it’s not like your relationship was new or in the honeymoon phase, it just wasn’t the original plan and that scared the hell out of you. But you were happy to be carrying his child– the timing was just piss poor. “We’re happy… just scared.”
“Oh, baby,” Penelope cooed. “Of course you’re scared, it’s a huge adjustment. But I know you and I know Spencer, you guys will nail this parenting business.” Penelope managed to prove time and time again why she was your best friend. You often wondered if she knew you better than you knew yourself, which wouldn’t really surprise you given her job.
“I hope so.” You smiled softly, feeling somewhat human again after splashing water on your face and washing your hands. You knew Spencer would be a good dad, he was so good with kids and he was so gentle and patient with you. He was meant to be a dad. You just weren’t sure if you were meant to be a mother. You wanted to be a family with Spencer, it made you feel warm just thinking about it, but you were a person who worried about almost everything, even the things out of your control. What scared you was how in control you were. 
“I’m surprised Spencer hasn’t told everyone, that boy is obsessed with you and you’re making him a dad? God, it must be killing him sitting on this–” Penelope suddenly looked at you wide-eyed, connecting the dots all on her own. You winced as you watched her figure it out, gritting your teeth as she let out a soft gasp. “You haven’t told him?!”
You covered your face with your hands, letting out a muffled squeal of frustration into your palms. You would tell him eventually, just not right now, he was far too busy and was already stressing about his own workload, you couldn’t imagine how much more stressed he would be if he found out you were still in the field while pregnant.
“Pen, please,” you turned to her, “please keep this to yourself. I– We can’t deal with this right now. JJ’s gone and everyone is worked to the bone, I can’t do this to everyone right now, especially Spencer.” Penelope looked at you sympathetically, you knew you were asking a lot of her to keep it to herself, especially when Penelope wasn’t great at keeping secrets.
“Y/N, sweetie, you’re going to have to tell them eventually– You’re an FBI Agent. Being in the field is so dangerous and you don’t just have yourself to think about anymore.” You knew Penelope was right. You carried a gun around for Christ’s sake, you literally hunted down serial killers, active shooters, total psychopaths and everything in between. The field was no place for a pregnant woman. 
“I know, I know,” you sighed, resting both of your hands on the basin in front of you.
“...How far along are you?”
“Twelve weeks,” you said softly, resting your hand against your belly. You didn’t have much of a bump yet but you were sure it would sneak up on you before you even realised. Lucky for you, you wore a lot of baggy sweaters around the office so you had some wriggle room when it came to hiding it.
“...My money’s on a girl,” Penelope was trying to make you feel better. She really was helping because the idea of Spencer hosting tea parties, getting covered in kitten stickers and his hair being covered in tiny butterfly clips made your heart swell.
You let out a soft laugh, “I think so too.”
“Alright, my love, I think we should leave this bathroom before they send out a search party,” Penelope laughed, linking her arm with yours to guide you out of the bathroom. 
You honestly did feel better after talking to Penelope and throwing the rest of your guts up. She made sure to remind you about ten times to call her if you needed anything, you promised you would because it did make you feel better knowing that someone knew about your pregnancy and you didn’t have to bear the weight of the news alone.
You sat down at your desk with a sigh, sipping on your water bottle to soothe your raw throat. You popped a piece of gum in your mouth, willing the taste of bile away. You let out a huff of air as you stared down at all the paperwork you had to do. Doing JJ’s job proved to be intense, especially when you were doing your own work on top of her’s. You picked up your pen when you felt Spencer press a kiss to the crown of your head as he placed a mug of hot coffee on your desk in front of you.
You smiled, craning your neck to look up at him. Spencer took the opportunity to kiss you softly, one of his hands resting on the side of your desk while the other rested on the back of your chair. You smiled against his lips, “shouldn’t you be working?” You teased.
“Are you trying to get me to go away?” Spencer looked at you curiously. You rolled your eyes playfully because of course you didn’t want him to go away. If anything, you wanted him to pick you up and take you home right this second.
“Yes, Spencer,” you replied sarcastically, “I’m trying to get you to go away.” Spencer wasn’t great with sarcasm but he had come to understand your humour over the years. He just grinned and pressed another kiss to your lips.
“Sarcasm is rooted in truth, angel,” Spencer retorted with a gentle smile. 
“I am joking, but we both have a lot of work to do, Spence. I don’t know how I’m going to manage doing JJ’s job as well as my own,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair.
“There’s a reason Hotch wanted you to do it. I don’t think he could have picked anyone more capable,” Spencer replied. Maybe it was the hormones and the fact you were carrying a baby, but the comment made you want to cry. Spencer frowned as he watched your face fall, “what’s wrong, angel?”
“No, nothing,” You replied, sniffling quietly. You gave him a genuine smile, “I’m fine, Spence. I promise–”
“New case just came in,” Morgan called to the two of you, gesturing toward the meeting room at the back of the office with a manila folder in his hand. 
You looked at Morgan with a confused expression because now it was your job to decide what cases the team took after JJ’s departure. Morgan told you the case went straight to Hotch this time; an old friend had called in a favour. 
Spencer pulled a chair out for you, taking the seat right beside you in the meeting room. You opened the case file the moment Penelope dropped it in front of you.
“The victims are 20-year-old Evan Miller and 21-year-old Daniel Clark, both engineering students at Caltech. They were shot three days apart outside their family homes in the local area of Pasadena, California.” You followed along with Penelope as she gave a run down of the victims and the circumstances of their deaths.
The killings were straightforward, the UnSub didn’t try to dispose of the bodies and the men were simply shot in the head execution style. It didn’t seem like the doings of a serial killer who would usually seek some kind of sexual release from torturing and killing their victims. If anything, it seemed like revenge killings.
“They were just shot?” Emily questioned, eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the crime scene photos. 
“Once in the head,” Hotch replied, “there were no witnesses around which suggests the UnSub knew the routine of the victims and the neighbourhood.”
“Could be a stalker?” Penelope suggested.
“Stalker victims are usually the object of a stalker’s affection, they rarely act in violence let alone such a blunt killing,” You replied, confused by the nature of such a straightforward murder.
Spencer flicked through the victim’s files, “the single shot to the head suggests the UnSub just wanted them dead. No physical evidence of sexual release or torture… This could be some kind of revenge killing.”
“Did these victims know each other?” You asked.
“According to their parents, they came from the same friend group,” Penelope replied. 
“Wheels up in thirty. Garcia, you're coming with us. Get your go bag,” Hotch said, quickly standing up from his chair. Penelope made a small noise of surprise before quickly ushering out of the meeting room. Hotch didn’t usually have Penelope come along but given you were short a very valuable member of your team, Penelope had started coming along more often. Not that you would ever complain having Penelope around. 
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You pinned up the last of the crime scene photos on the board, standing back with your hands on your hips. Spencer was writing on the whiteboard next to you, jotting down all the things you knew about the victims and possible motives of the UnSub. Hotch and Morgan were engaging in formalities with the local detectives on the case while Penelope got herself settled in the makeshift office they had set up for the team. 
“The parents of the victims are here,” Emily poked her head into the office. “Y/N, Hotch wants you to talk to Ben and Sarah Miller, I’ve got the Clarks.”
“Alright, I got it,” you replied, letting out a dejected sigh. 
“You okay?” Spencer gently tucked some of your hair behind your ear, turning his full attention to you. You let out another sigh, nodding your head tiredly. “You can do this,” he said quietly, his eyes shifting between yours.
“Yeah, I know,” you smiled softly. Spencer planted a soft kiss on your cheek before leaving the office, leaving Spencer and Penelope alone. 
“...I think she needs a break,” Penelope said after a beat. 
Spencer looked at her, eyebrows furrowed, “what makes you say that?”
Penelope tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, “she’s doing JJ’s job and her own. I mean, I think she’s the right girl for the job but… you know what she’s like.”
Spencer sighed, he knew exactly what you were like. You always held yourself and your work to such a high standard and you often overworked yourself to make everyone happy. “Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to her when we get back to the hotel.”
“I think that’s a great idea, lover boy,” Penelope grinned.
You opened the office door, files in hand. Mr and Mrs Miller immediately stood up as you entered and you gave them a sympathetic smile. Mrs Miller had clearly been crying, still clutching a tissue in her hand while her husband paced around the office.
“Please, have a seat, Mr Miller,” you said gently.
“I’ll stand,” he replied firmly. You decided not to argue and sat down on the chair opposite the couch where Mrs Miller sat.
“Mrs Miller, I’m Agent L/N, I’m with the Behavioural Analysis Unit in the FBI–”
“FBI?” She questioned. “Was Evan in trouble?”
“We suspect he and his friend Daniel were killed by the same person,” you explained. Mrs Miller let out a soft gasp, her hand coming to rest over her mouth. 
“Is it alright if I ask you a few questions about Evan?” You asked. Sarah didn’t say anything but she nodded her head, fresh tears forming in her eyes. “Daniel and Evan knew each other, right?”
“They went to high school together,” Sarah replied, her voice shaking. “They were so excited when they both got into Caltech,” she smiled sadly, fresh tears streaming down her face.
“Do you have any idea who killed our son?” Ben asked, his voice sounding angry.
“That’s what we’re here for,” you said, “we’re here to find who killed your son and why–”
“‘Why”?” Ben repeated, “he was just a kid.”
You sighed softly, “I understand that, sir. We’re just trying to figure out a possible connection.”
“Evan and Daniel were good kids. They would never hurt a fly,” Sarah frowned, sniffling softly as she began crying again. 
“Did Daniel and Evan hang around the same social groups?” You asked, turning your attention to Mr Miller, who was still pacing around the office with his arms crossed. “Maybe in some kind of extracurricular activities?”
“They were both on the college basketball team,” Ben said after a beat. “Why? You think this asshole is going to kill more of these kids?”
“I am just trying to get an idea of the social groups Evan and Daniel were a part of,” you didn’t want to get into the gory details of why you were asking such questions and decided they were both far too emotional for you to keep asking them questions; you would let Hotch handle it. “I need to speak with my team but I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” You rested a hand on Mrs Miller’s shoulder and you couldn’t shake how much you missed JJ doing this part.
You let out a sigh as you left the office, rubbing the tension in the back of your neck. You slowly walked over to Hotch, “Evan was on the Caltech Basketball team, he and Daniel went to high school together and Evan’s parents were adamant he was a good kid. I think he was a good kid, just got involved with the wrong people.”
Hotch let out a breath, “I want you and Prentiss to go to the school, talk to the faculty, basketball team coach, anything you can get.”
You nodded, gesturing to Emily on the other side of the bullpen. She firmly nodded at you and the two of you left for the school.
The team worked the case for two days before another body showed up. Everyone was starting early and finishing late to find the person who was doing this and you worked closely with the detectives and other officers on the case. Hotch gave the profile as soon as the team was certain but given the demographic of the suburban areas he was targeting these boys, it was rather unremarkable. The third body belonged to 21-year-old Oliver Marsh, another Caltech student studying Physics. He was shot once in the head while walking his dog no further than a block from his house. 
You stood in the middle of Oliver’s bedroom staring at the posters and certificates that littered his walls. Spencer rifled through papers on his desk, mostly finding papers related to physics journals and essays for school. Emily and David were downstairs talking to the parents while Hotch and Morgan went to see the crime scene.
You walked over to his bedside table pulling it open. There were a lot of birthday cards and a game boy but what caught your attention was the little clear yellow bottles with white caps. You lifted the first bottle out, reading the label–
“Oliver was taking Oxycodone,” you said softly, catching Spencer’s attention. “...And Escitalopram,” you spun on your heel, showing Spencer the two bottles. Spencer took the bottles from your hands, eyebrows furrowed as he carefully read the labels. “Chronic pain?” you suggested.
“Could be,” Spencer replied. “He could have been taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatories too, they’re typically over the counter.”
You rifled through the drawer again, pulling out a blue box, “Yeah, he was taking Ibuprofen too.”
“We should talk to the parents,” Spencer said. You nodded and the two of you ushered down the stairs to where his parents sat in the living room with David and Emily. “Was Oliver suffering from chronic pain?” Spencer quickly questioned before he even fully made it into the living room.
Oliver’s mother held a tissue to her nose, glancing at Emily with a confused expression. You put your hand on Spencer’s bicep, “Has Oliver injured himself recently? Maybe a fall or injury while playing sports?”
Oliver’s father shook his head, “No, not recently. He’s been on those antidepressants for a few years and takes the codeine when he has– had flare-ups.”
“Flare-ups?” David asked pointedly.
“He was in a car accident four years ago,” Mrs Marsh said, “He was in the passenger seat and was in a coma for two weeks… he hadn’t really been the same after that, got really sad and antisocial… he was in a lot of pain too.”
“He had to stop playing Football and running track, his body just couldn’t keep up,” Mr Marsh added, his eyes glazing over. “He lost a lot of friends, I don’t think I ever saw him hang out with anyone, Physics became everything to him.”
“Do you have evidence of his medical records anywhere?” Spencer asked. “Just so I can look them over.”
“Uh, yeah, of course,” Mrs Marsh stood up, Spencer following her to their home office on the other side of the house.
You sat down across from Mr Marsh, “The accident he was in,” you started, “what happened?”
He looked at you with a pain in his eyes, “He was in the car with some of his friends and they were driving home from a party and it was late. I think they were all…” he hesitated for a moment, “they were all drunk.”
“Who was in the car?” Emily asked, not liking where this was going.
“...Evan Miller and Daniel Clark,” his father began to cry, holding his hand over his mouth. You felt your eyes widen, this was a revenge killing.
“Who was driving, Mr Marsh?” David asked quickly.
“Um, god–” He sniffled softly, “Peter… Peter something, he was older than them, I really don’t remember.”
“Thank you, Mr Marsh,” You stood up, quickly moving to the front door to call Penelope. You pulled out your phone, dialling her number. She picked up after the first ring.
“How may I be of service, oh queen of my country?” she sang, her fingers typing furiously against her keyboard. 
“I need you to look into an accident for me, four years ago,” you said with your hand on your hip. “Oliver Marsh, Daniel Clark and Evan Miller were all in the accident too. See if you can find newspaper articles, news segments, anything– I think we know who the last target is.”
“Right, give me a moment,” Penelope replied. You heard her typing before she stopped, “Oh no…” she mumbled softly.
“What’s wrong, Pen?” You furrowed your brows.
“Peter Harvey,” Penelope sighed, “he’s the last boy… He was driving with three other high school boys; Oliver, Daniel and Evan when they struck an oncoming car and killed a pregnant woman on impact; her husband walked away without a scratch.”
“Shit.” You cursed, “What’s his name?”
“Jonathan Hughes, his wife was Katherine… she was 8 months pregnant, Y/N.” Penelope sounded so pained and you knew she was thinking of you and the small baby you were carrying. “Y/N…”
“I know, Pen… After this case wraps up… I’ll tell everyone,” you replied with a gentle sigh.
“And you’ll take time off?” Penelope sounded like she was lecturing you.
You smiled to yourself, “Yeah, Penelope. I’ll take some time off.”
“Okay… I’ll send Hotch and Morgan Jonathan’s last known address, I’m sending you Peter Harvey’s address–”
Your phone beeped as Penelope sent the address through. “Where would I be without you, Pen?”
“Nowhere good, my love,” you could hear the smile in her voice. You quickly hung up before walking back into the Marsh’s house. 
Emily and David turned to look at you, “We’ve got him.”
“Alright, you guys go, I’ll grab Reid and we’ll be right behind you,” David waved you off and Emily quickly ushered the two of you to the car. 
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Emily was speeding toward the address Penelope had given you while you called Hotch and Morgan, filling them in on all the information Penelope had given you. They agreed to go to Jonathan’s address to hopefully intersect him before he left for Peter Harvey. You were always nervous when it came to these parts of the case because you couldn’t control the outcome no matter how hard you tried. A grieving man was going around killing these young men and while it was awful what he was doing; you could sympathise with him and the pain he was feeling over losing his wife and unborn child. 
You instinctively rested a hand over your belly, your thumb stroking the small curve. You couldn’t even imagine how much pain Spencer would be in if he lost you, let alone your child too. You would tell him and you would ask Hotch about taking some time off later in your pregnancy and sitting out of cases like this. 
“Shit he’s already here,” Emily cursed when she noticed Jonathan’s SUV parked a couple of blocks from Peter’s address. “Call Hotch.”
You dialled Hotch’s number and he picked up almost instantly, “What is it, L/N?”
“He’s already here, his SUV is parked a couple blocks down from Peter’s address. He’s already out looking for him,” You quickly said.
“We’re on our way, units are already on route,” he hung up after that. 
Emily pulled the car up on the gutter, the car skidding to a stop. You immediately pushed the door open, holding your gun by your thigh as you ran across the lawn to Peter Harvey’s house. You knocked on the door and a woman answered after a beat.
“Mrs Harvey?” You asked, panting softly.
“Yes?”
“Is your son Peter here?”
“No, he went to the store down the street an hour ago, he should be back soon… What is this about?” She asked, her hand gripping the door in concern.
“We believe someone dangerous may be looking for your son,” Emily said. Mrs Harvey rested her hand over her mouth, a soft gasp leaving her lips.
“Mom?” You spun around and Peter stood with a plastic bag of groceries in his hand in the middle of the lawn.
It all happened almost in slow motion. You saw a figure wearing dark clothes stalking across the lawn and without even thinking, you darted toward Peter as the UnSub pulled the gun out of his coat, aiming it straight at Peter’s head. You could hear Emily yelling at Mrs Harvey to go back inside before she pulled out her gun and aimed it at the UnSub; but it was too late.
You shoved Peter to the ground as he fired, feeling the shot burn through your shoulder as both you and Peter fell to the ground. You instinctively pressed a hand to your burning shoulder, warm blood oozing from the wound and through your fingers. 
“Jonathan Hughes?” You said, your breathing heavy as you tried to fight through the pain. He held his gun right in front of your face.
“Move,” he grunted, his eyes glassy.
“I know what happened to your wife,” you breathed trying to stall him as more police cars with blaring sirens pulled into the street.
“They killed her,” tears streamed down his face and you honestly felt bad for him. 
“It was an accident,” you replied softly.
“They were drunk,” he almost yelled, his hand shaking as his gun was still trained on you.
“I know,” you said, “It was a stupid mistake that haunted them, Jonathan. I know it doesn’t change what happened but these boys–”
“They’re monsters!” he shouted, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
You saw David and Spencer get out of the car. Spencer’s heart was in his throat when he saw you kneeled on the ground, shielding Peter with your body while your hand and shirt were covered in your own blood. He didn’t even pick up his gun as he began stalking toward you.
“Y/N?” His voice was soft when he called you at first, then it turned to outright concern and anger, “Y/N? No, no!”
David grabbed Spencer’s arm, pulling him back as Spencer fought against him, trying to get to you. It was irrational and it was dangerous. David quickly picked up his walkie, “An agent has been shot, we need an ambulance.”
“Who was shot?!” Penelope’s voice rang out in the car as she spoke to Morgan and Hotch.
“I repeat, agent L/N is shot, we need an ambulance,” David spoke before putting his walkie away to hold Spencer back, pulling him to the ground.
“Morgan! Oh my god!” Penelope felt tears form in her eyes.
“It’s okay, babygirl, she’s going to be alright,” Morgan said, trying to reassure her as Hotch stepped on the accelerator. 
“No, Morgan, you don’t understand–”
“We’re going to get an ambulance–”
“She’s pregnant!” Penelope blurted out, not knowing what else to say for them to understand the gravity of why Penelope was so upset and concerned. 
Hotch hesitated for a moment, “She’s what?”
Penelope let out a shaky breath, “she’s twelve weeks pregnant, Hotch. She wasn’t going to tell anyone until after the case– and now she’s been shot.” Penelope began to cry, holding her hand over her mouth as tears slipped from her eyes.
Hotch hadn’t sped that fast since he found out Foyet was in his house. He cared about his team a lot and he had a soft spot for you even though he wouldn’t admit it. The tires skidded along the road as Hotch pulled on the handbrake, both him and Morgan training their guns on the UnSub as they approached.
Morgan’s heart hurt at the sight of you, your skin slightly paled as blood bloomed from your shoulder, drenching your arm and your hands. You looked so scared as the UnSub trained his gun on you, unmoving. Emily had her gun aimed at the UnSub, yelling for him to put it down.
“Jonathan Hughes!” Morgan’s voice caught your attention. “Put down the gun!”
“Don’t move!” Jonathan shouted, “I’ll shoot her!”
“No you won’t, man,” Morgan shook his head.
“How do you know that!? She’s in my way!” He shouted back.
“She’s pregnant,” Morgan sighed. Your eyes widened as you looked at Morgan, who looked back at you with a sad expression. 
Spencer stopped fighting against David, his breathing evening out as the words fell on his ears. You were pregnant. You were carrying his baby and you got shot and now you had a gun held up in front of your face. Spencer didn’t even realise he was crying, his tears cold against his warm skin. All he could do was watch, there was nothing he could do.
Jonathan glanced at you as you held your hand over your belly. “W-What?”
Morgan reached a hand out as he got closer. “Just like your wife, Jonathan… You wouldn’t kill a pregnant woman like those boys did.” 
Jonathan seemed to dissociate, staring at you with such a hurt expression as Morgan leapt forward, grabbing the gun from Jonathan’s hands and tossing it across the grass. He pushed Jonathan to the ground, pinning his hands behind his back. You let out a breath as you felt yourself grow tired. Emily caught you before you fell the rest of the way to the ground, holding you close to her body as she screamed for a medic. 
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Emily gently rocked you, “you’re going to be fine.”
“I’m sorry,” you muttered, tears running down your cheeks.
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Your eyes were heavy as you attempted to pry them open.
You let out a shaky breath as you finally pulled your eyes open, the smell of disinfectant hit you first, followed by the sounds of beeping. You were in the hospital. You glanced down at your arm, an IV stuck in your arm while a pulse oximeter was clipped to your finger. Despite the fact the doctor had prescribed pain medication, you still felt like shit and your shoulder was killing you.
A soft noise caught your attention and you glanced at the chair next to your bed, Spencer sound asleep in a chair with a hospital blanket draped over him. You smiled softly as you saw the flowers, balloons and plushies littered around your room, most likely a courtesy of Penelope.
“She’s awake,” Morgan smiled, standing in the doorway. 
You grinned at him, “Hi, Derek.”
Morgan slowly walked over to your bed. “Feeling okay, pretty girl?” Morgan gently grabbed your hand, giving it a soft squeeze.
“I’m okay,” you replied. You almost didn’t want to ask but you knew you had to, “...is the baby okay?”
“Your baby is fine,” Morgan replied with a soft smile. You let out a breath of relief as you placed a hand over your tummy protectively. “...You scared the life out of everyone though.”
“I know,” you sighed.
“Especially your lover boy,” Morgan said, “he hasn’t left your side.”
“Sounds like my Spencer,” you laughed softly. 
“Y/N?” Spencer’s voice was laced with sleep as he opened his eyes. He quickly got up, ditching the blanket on the floor to tend to you.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Morgan quickly said before leaving the room.
Spencer’s warm hands cupped your face as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I thought I lost you, Y/N.” He let out a breath, pulling away to stare at your face and stroke your cheeks with his thumbs. You reached a hand up to grip his forearm.
“I’m sorry–”
“You don’t need to–”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Tears formed in your eyes as you stared up at him, searching for any kind of anger or resentment. There wasn’t any, he could never be mad at you.
“I wouldn’t have let you come on the case,” he replied after a beat. “I wouldn’t have let you leave the house.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you… I knew you would be protective– more protective,” you corrected with a soft smile. 
“I’m aware,” Spencer pulled his lips into a tight smile. “You know the odds of… complications are higher in the first trimester, angel. You should have told me,” he frowned.
“I know, Spence,” you sighed. “I just wanted to make sure I was in the clear before I told you… I understand being shot isn’t necessarily helping with that but–”
“I understand,” he replied. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
You stared at him for a moment, “are you happy?”
“Happy?”
“That I’m pregnant? I know we’re not married and our jobs are crazy but–”
Spencer cut you off by pressing a kiss to your lips, he pulled away slightly, “I’ve never been more happy,” he whispered.
You beamed with happiness, a bright smile tugging on your lips. Spencer hesitantly pressed a hand to your belly, his thumb stroking your tiny bump.
“Penelope thinks it’s a girl,” you muttered.
“...What do you think?” He asked curiously.
“I think she might be right,” you giggled softly.
“You know you can’t actually tell yet,” Spencer said and you rolled your eyes playfully.
“You asked what I thought!” you retorted.
He laughed softly, “Yes, you’re right, you’re right.”
“Mmm, did that taste like poison to admit?”
“Are gunshot victims supposed to be this mouthy?”
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a/n: phew! i hope you guys liked it <3 i know i disappeared for a hot minute but here she is!!!
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norrizzandpia · 2 months
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You Don’t Even Know What She Looks Like? (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Summary: Spencer’s girlfriend has always been mentioned. Never has the BAU team been shown a photo or given a small rundown of what she looks like. So, when Spencer announces that she’ll be visiting the office to bring him food on a late night, well, you can guess the chaos that ensues.
Warnings: none, very fluffy
Note: aww my first Spencer Reid fic! I hope you all like it <3
The BAU had only ever heard about Y/n. Never did Spencer show pictures of her or give descriptions on her appearance because he wanted to keep the majority of her to himself for as long as he could. Even though she had told him numerous times that showing them pictures and giving them more than the occasional chaotic story was completely fine by her, he never could bring himself to. That was until he started being away a lot more because of a continuous string of cases, making it harder for him to see her outside of the office. The first time she asked to bring him food when he was up late at the office doing paperwork, he declined, rambling about how he didn’t want to have to deal with all the screaming that would go on from the introduction of his girlfriend.
However, the second time she asked, he had had a hard case, one filled with innocent children and one that hurt him the most. As he sat in the chair of his desk, eyes staring at the wall as everyone around him scribbled down words onto paper, he knew he needed to see her. He would’ve left right then and there, but the stack of folders sitting to his left made him completely reject the efficiency of that idea. So, when her name popped up on his phone with a small plea to bring him food, knowing he hadn’t eaten as much as he should with the case, Spencer couldn’t say no.
”Guys,” He said, standing from his chair and turning so he could face the rest of the team.
Everyone’s eyes averted to him. Morgan leaning back in his chair, “What’s up, pretty boy?”
He twiddled his thumbs, “Don’t freak out over what I’m about to tell you, okay?”
At this, Emily and JJ perked up. Penelope, the woman passing by in the hall and overhearing his suspicious sentence, slid into the bullpen.
With everyone’s slow nodding, Spencer broke the news, “My girlfriend is coming in to bring me food.”
”WHAT?” Penelope shouted, completely disregarding his wish for them to be calm. She dropped the folder in her hands, not concerned that classified information lay beneath, and sprinted over to the tall man she knew as her friend.
She shook him, her hands on his shoulders, “SPENCER, ARE YOU MEANING TO TELL ME I’M ABOUT TO MEET YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!”
He giggled, “Yes,”
Morgan gave a glance to Rossi, who was standing against the railing and smirking, before standing from his own chair and making his way over to Penelope, prying her off Spencer, “Okay, babygirl, Spencer asked us to be calm about this.”
She turned to him, eyes widened, “Calm? No way will I be calm about this.”
”I’m with her on this one. Sorry.” Emily admitted, the woman standing next to JJ as the two joined the group.
Spencer rolled his eyes, “Seriously, guys. Don’t scare her away.”
Rossi cocked his head, “Scare her away? If you haven’t already after six months, I’m sure we won’t.”
Spencer frowned just as Penelope yelped, “Is that her?!”
Spencer turned his head to the door of the bullpen, seeing a blonde woman emerge from behind it. He shook his head with a laugh, “Penelope, no. That’s not her. You don’t even know what she looks like.”
Penelope stuck her tongue out at him just as JJ hollered, “That her?”
A random stranger passing by, Spencer shook his head once more.
Morgan joined in, “What about her?”
A man. Morgan pointed to a man. Spencer gave him a glance as Morgan giggled, never getting bored over a good teasing.
Emily tried to guess as well, “Hey! What about her?”
”No! Guys, I will tell you when she’s here.” Spencer said with a slight annoyance. His girlfriend had just texted him she would go to get his food. There was no way she was here yet.
The group got tired after a moment of pointing out random women and all fell back into their paperwork. After about ten minutes, Spencer stood from his desk.
Everyone in the BAU froze.
When he saw their stares, he laughed, “I’m just going to the bathroom. She’s not here yet, but if you stare at her like that when she comes, I swear to God she will run the other way.”
”Hey!” Emily exclaimed, throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at him as he pushed open the door and turned down the hallway.
There was silence for about three minutes seeing as Spencer wasn’t there, watching his mannerisms and determining if Y/n was close or not out the window with him gone.
A creek sounded throughout the floor as the door was pushed open. Y/n stood, with a white plastic bag in her hand, looking out at the people working at their desks. They completely missed the entrance. With no eyes on her, she moved to Spencer’s desk and placed the bag on top. Her eyes glazed over everyone before she cleared her throat, “Um, does anyone know where Spencer is?”
Morgan’s head snapped up as JJ and Emily stopped writing. Rossi’s door swung open and he stepped out forcefully, not graceful in the slightest. As if she was summoned, Penelope flew through the door of the BAU, almost tripping on her heel as she returned from her hibernation in her office.
With all eyes now on her, Y/n blushed slightly. Spencer had mentioned that everyone would be a bit overbearing, but she didn’t know even the smallest thing like their stares would be intimidating.
Penelope moved toward her first, looking at her as if she was an alien, “Are you Y/n?”
Y/n nodded and the entire group erupted into loud overlaps of coos and compliments. Spencer’s girlfriend stood in the midst of them all, being pulled into Penelope’s arms as the colorful woman hugged her tightly. JJ and Emily told her they loved the way she had styled her hair, asking how she had done it, and Morgan interrogated her on how Spencer had managed to “smooth talk” her. Rossi just nodded his head at her and extended his hand, murmuring his name and how nice it was to meet her.
Spencer was walking back from the bathroom, down the hall, when he heard the excited voices. He knew then and there what the situation was, and his feet began to pick up. He was practically running toward the BAU glass door and when he reached it, he yanked it open.
Everyone turned to him, his girlfriend’s face peeking out from behind them all and he immediately softened. The twinkle in her eye, the blush on her face, he could tell she appreciated finally being given the opportunity to meet his chosen family. Spencer wondered why he even waited to introduce her in the first place.
The man made long strides across the office, muscling through the small number of bodies before getting an arm’s length away from Y/n, pulling her into him by the waist.
He turned to everyone, smiling widely as his hand smoothed over her back lovingly, “This is Y/n, my girlfriend. Now, you can pick her out of a crowd.”
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confused-pyramid · 3 months
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Coming Up For Air | s1
pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader
summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.
word count: 10.4k
warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, death of a spouse, slow slow slow burn, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 1x01, 1x06, 1x07, 1x08, 1x15, 1x16, and 1x22
a/n: I started rewatching Criminal Minds from the beginning, and this is what came out of it heh. This is the first part in a little series I'm starting that follows Hotch and his childhood best friend in the BAU, beginning with the pilot. If all goes well, this will continue through the rest of the show, with ~1 part per season :) Title is from Coming up for air by Signals in Smoke
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You haven't used your oven in over a year. It's not that you don't like cooking - because you do - you just haven't had the time. If you could, you would blame it on the extra hours you have had to put in after starting at the BAU, but that wouldn't be fair. Your transfer to the unit was the only thing that got you through his death at all.
After your husband was shot and killed in action while tailing a kingpin of one of the New York mobs, you couldn't bear to be in this house at all. You had gone back home to stay with your father for a couple of months, but eventually you had to get back to your real life. With a month remaining on your bureau-mandated leave, you returned to the home you had shared, before one of the lower-level mob soldiers misfired -
You didn't let yourself think about it for almost a year, but time heals all wounds. The poets were right. At least you hope they are.
Even back at home, you still couldn't bear to be there alone, other than when you were sleeping. That's why your peloton was gathering dust and your kitchen went untouched, until just now.
So, of course, the call from the office comes when you're making dinner. It takes five minutes to change into slacks and a button-up, and two more to toss your half-cooked vegetables in the trash, before driving down to headquarters.
A fourth girl has been taken in Seattle, and the local PD only now decided to invite your team. You know the BAU isn't well-liked by the other departments, but that doesn't mean you aren't effective.
When you enter the building, you rush through the I.D. check and jog over to the lecture hall, where Morgan and Reid are standing outside of a neighboring office like children waiting for their father to come and get them.
Shooting them both a thin-lipped smile, you step inside just as they finish discussing the unsub's pattern.
"They want you back in the saddle," Hotch says to the man beside him after greeting you with a nod.
Your eyes are so immediately drawn to Hotch that it takes you a moment to realize that you recognize the man standing next to him. You haven't seen him since the day you were assigned to the BAU, mostly because you were technically transferred to this unit because of his extended leave.
What was supposed to be one month became six, before Hotch informed you that your temporary placement would be permanent, if you were willing to stay in Virginia.
It was a no-brainer.
You turn your gaze to Jason Gideon as everyone in the room stares at him expectantly. He looks self-assured, but you're sure the confidence is a front. "They sure they want me?"
"The order came from the director," Hotch says simply.
"Well," Gideon states, "we'd better get started, then."
Hotch glances over at you as everyone files out of the room and you raise your eyebrows momentarily, a quick check-in between the two of you. He nods imperceptibly and it's enough for now. He didn't tell you Gideon was coming back today, but now isn't the time to give him hell for that.
***
Hotch is the last to board the plane, and he takes his usual seat beside you, this time in the aisle, a few rows away from the rest of the team.
"I was going to tell you," he says as soon as you close the case file in your hands. "The section chief wants me to evaluate him to see if he's ready to return to the team."
"That's a lot of pressure." They have to know that Gideon will be able to smell him out within the day. "You sure it won't get in the way?"
Hotch makes that face you hate, the one that says he knows you're deflecting. "I was going to tell you."
It doesn't take much for you to forgive him. It helps that you trust him completely, especially after everything he has done for you.
"Still," you smile, bumping his shoulder with yours, "it would have been nice to know about the sudden change to my job security."
You're mostly joking, but his frown is genuine. "Don't be silly. You'll always have a place on this team."
He takes everything so seriously these days. You suppose it's only fair, given the files he has to sort through on a daily basis. Picking which case deserves the team's attention the most.
But he wasn't always like this. You're the newest member of the team, but you've known Hotch longer than any of them.
You still remember the first time you met him, at eight years old. He was your first real friend at school, and you became inseparable easily. Your shared love for The Beatles and Law and Order made you fast friends, and as you grew older, your interests shifted in tandem.
Sometimes when you look at him, you still see that little boy who knew too much, but still managed to always make you laugh.
***
The team disperses soon after you land in Seattle. You've never had to come up with a profile in one afternoon, but it's also been a long time since your ticking clock to find the victim was just over a day.
When Gideon and Morgan head to the latest crime scene, you join Hotch and Reid to interview the victim's brother. The moment the three of you step into his house, his dog, Sandy, starts barking up a storm.
"It's what we call the Reid effect," Hotch smiles, walking over to pet her. "Happens with children, too."
You can't help but smile as well, peering over at Spencer, who looks about as uncomfortable as he usually does.
It doesn't escape your notice that the brother looks looser now. Hotch has a way with people that traces back to his childhood self. He was always wiser than his years, something you chalk up to his need to grow up faster than he should have, but his paternal instinct comes from practically raising his brother, Sean, after his dad's untimely death.
The casual interview reveals enough about the victimology that when you head back to the station, Gideon calls the officers in to explain the profile.
You can feel Morgan's agitation wafting off of him as he watches Gideon state his assumptions with startling clarity and confidence. Hotch, on the other hand, looks contemplative, which reminds you that he's been tasked with the returning agent's evaluation.
He can see your furtive glances in his direction, even as you try to remain secretive about your interest in his demeanor. He presses his lips together to keep from smiling as he thinks about how lucky you are that you went into profiling and not covert operations.
You have never been especially good at keeping your own thoughts or intentions to yourself around him. While some would call that a weakness in this field, he sees it as your greatest strength, because it clearly shows how much he can trust you.
As a kid, you were outspoken about every idea you had, and you used your strength and willpower to look out for him when he needed it. It took him a long time to admit how much he used to need you (maybe too long), but you always knew.
***
Gideon's profile leads to the arrest of Richard Slessman and Tim Vogel, and Elle manages to save the last girl while she's still alive. You catch your breath for the first time in 36 hours as you stand with Hotch in the shipyard, watching the paramedics and local police clear the scene.
"What are you going to tell them?" you ask under your breath as his gaze turns to Gideon, who is getting patched up in the back of an ambulance.
He had goaded the unsub into shooting him instead of the girl, but your mind can't seem to focus on the silver lining.
Hotch sighs, crossing his arms over his chest, as though to hold his coat closed against the breeze. "They want to know if he's fit to be a field agent again."
Normally, you would give him shit for using that tactic. Avoiding a question by providing more information. This time, you know he's just thinking out loud.
"What would you say?" Hotch asks as Morgan walks over and sits on a barrel next to you.
"Gideon saved her life," Derek shrugs, his eyes flashing to you for a moment. "That's good enough for me."
Hotch seems to ponder this for a second. "Do you know what Gideon means in Hebrew?"
"Mighty warrior," Reid interjects, popping in to the conversation with the subtlety of a tiger.
You're confused at first, but then you remember the baby names book that was sitting in Hotch's living room the last time you visited him. "You cannot let Haley name your child Gideon."
Hotch laughs suddenly, and you can tell you surprised it out of him. Your chest warms comfortably as he smiles, his cheeks flushing softly in the chill air.
He looks over at Gideon again, deciding in real time that he's going to recommend him to come back to the team. He would never admit it to you or anyone, but he knows that if your position on the team was in jeopardy from Gideon's return, he wouldn't have been able to complete his evaluation fairly.
It was Hotch who recommended you for the open position after he was promoted into Gideon's role as unit chief. You deserved the spot, of course, but Jeff's death had still been fresh and he knew better than most how much the job can take one's mind off of the other aspects of their life.
While Hotch watches Gideon, you watch him. You can tell from the look on his face that it's a done deal. Jason's coming back to the team. It will be a change of pace for everyone, but that doesn't mean it won't be good.
Having joined the team right after the bombing, you saw exactly how Gideon changed after getting the profile wrong, but so did everyone else. What people didn't talk about was how Aaron changed too. Rising into the rank. Growing to fill the hole that Gideon left in the unit, but somehow also shrinking into himself at the same time, because that's what this job does to you...it takes and it takes and it takes until you have nothing left to give.
But sometimes that's what you need: to give something up so you know you aren't losing everything.
***
Gideon settles into the team faster than you anticipated, and soon it's almost like he never left. Even though you can see the vein on Morgan's neck pulsate every time he hijacks a profile, you can't help but appreciate the support he gives to Spencer and Elle, both of whom are becoming incredible profilers before your very eyes.
That's also why you find yourself a little worried when Hotch tells you that Reid failed his weapons recertification.
"I thought you said you were helping him practice," you say as the two of you walk past security and toward the bullpen.
"I was," he emphasizes, before correcting himself, "I did. I'm sure he was just nervous."
You nod, pushing open the doors and spotting Reid sitting quietly at his desk. "He can test again in two weeks. He'll be fine."
When Morgan hands him a whistle with a quippy joke, you sigh into your coffee tumbler, but don't bother stepping in. He's being childish, but if you try to intervene, it'll just embarrass Spencer more.
"Okay," JJ starts, "Franklin Park, Des Plaines. Yesterday afternoon."
She dives into the case, but you have already read the file (and you know Reid has too) so you scoot your chair over to his desk and lean forward so only he can hear you. "I failed my first weapons certification at the bureau too."
Spencer looks up immediately, his face colored with surprise. "Really? You're one of the best shots I know."
You smile with a shrug. "The tests aren't real life. When it comes down to it, I get the job done. Just like you will."
He doesn't say anything for a moment, but then his lips curve up into a small smile. You both turn your attention back to the front just as JJ finishes explaining the case details.
"Wheels up in 30."
The flight to Illinois is filled with heated discussions about the bureau's fruitless history of trying to profile long distance serial killers.
"L. D. S. K.s are so rare, we haven't been able to build a standard profile," Hotch explains as the jet reaches cruising altitude.
Gideon chimes in immediately. "Here's what we do know: they're always male, and they frequently have law enforcement or military experience, and they always contact the police or the media."
Elle looks confused and you echo her sentiment as you lean your hip against her armrest. "To take credit or relive the experience?"
"Both," he says simply. "All serial killers attempt to relive the ecstasy they get from their killings. Some use souvenirs taken from the victims, and others return to the dump site to interact with the body. Both modes require contact with the victim, contact which, by definition, long distance serial killers don't have."
"Our unsub hasn't contacted anybody," you point out. "What do we do until then?"
"Sometimes it's not what the unsub does that reveals the profile. Sometimes it is what they do not do."
Reid glances up from the file in his lap, and you notice that he looks at Gideon first. "He doesn't kill his victims."
"Underkill's a unique signature," Hotch ponders, standing up and walking along the cabin. He only paces when he's deep in thought. "The question is, does he shoot them in the stomach intentionally just to wound them, or is he just aiming at the biggest part of the target?"
The team is silent as you take in this new analysis. You're not surprised when Gideon is the first to speak up. "Specifically, does the unsub lack the skill to make the head shot, or simply the will to take it?"
When the plane lands, you check out the last crime scene before spending the day talking to the local police and the victims' surgeons at the nearby hospital.
That night, when you check into your hotel room, the click of the door lock closing behind you is a welcome relief from the tension of the day. Many of the Des Plaines police officers were unhappy with the team's initial assessment, because it heavily implied that the unsub may have been a law enforcement official himself.
You wash your face and change into a tee shirt and a comfortable pair of sweatpants, before climbing into bed and opening the case file back up again. The rest of the team has also gone to their own rooms, but you can't help but wish you had another set of eyes looking at this with you.
As though reading your mind, a knock thuds on your door and you stand up quickly, in case it's an emergency. When you check the peephole, you see Hotch standing way too close to the door.
Unlocking it slowly so you don't startle him, you open the door to find him in still in a full suit.
"Is there a problem?" you ask immediately. "Do I need to get dressed?"
He shakes his head, glancing around the hallway so quickly that you almost miss it. "I was just looking over the profile and I wanted your opinion on some thoughts I had."
The corner of your mouth twitches and you open the door further to let him in. He doesn't miss a beat as he takes a seat on the armchair in front of your bed and flips open his notepad.
"I was thinking about the bullet we recovered on the scene," he says slowly, like he's thinking through every word he's saying.
You nod, sitting on top of the bed covers and crossing your legs under you. "Garcia called after you left the station. The bullet was a .223 fired from the M-4 variant of the M-16."
"That means he's military," Hotch says, reaching his hand out without taking his eyes off his notepad. You close the case file you had laid out and hand it to him. "M-4 is a shorter barrel than the M-16, so it's less accurate and a lot harder to fire, especially at these distances."
"This level of skill indicates specialized training. That means..."
"It means the underkill was on purpose," Hotch says, finishing your thought. "What is he trying to prove?"
You purse your lips as he sits up in the chair to give himself room to remove his jacket. His pinstriped button-down is slightly crinkled under his arms, but you can tell it was freshly ironed this morning.
"Maybe he's in a fast-paced occupation," you suggest, "which would fit with the profile that he has a big ego."
"Then we're back to law enforcement."
You lean forward, your eyes following his hands as they fidget with his cuffs and undo the buttons, one at a time. You've always been attune to every one of his movements, but maybe it's just because you've spent so much time around him.
"Hotch," you whisper-yell, snagging his attention from your case file, which he tosses back to you.
He hums and you take that as an invitation to continue speaking. "Be careful tomorrow, when you're giving the profile."
One of his eyebrows lifts and you can tell he's holding back a smile. "It's just in front of the Des Planes PD. You'll be there too."
"It's not that," you sigh, shaking your head. "Everything about this profile points to the shooter being either current or former law enforcement. I'd be surprised if they didn't take it personally."
His eyes flit up to yours, his brow furrowing. "I can handle myself."
"I'm sure you can, Hotch," you say with a breathy laugh. "Doesn't mean I don't still look out for you."
He pauses and it's like his whole body takes a beat. "I know."
***
You're talking to Dr. Landman with Derek, Elle, and Jason the next day when a gunshot rings out through the hospital. Last you checked, Hotch and Reid were in the E.R., but you haven't heard from them since you arrived.
"It's Phillip Dowd," a nurse informs you when you meet with local police outside the closed E.R. door.
After a quick call to Penelope, the profile becomes clear.
"He joined the army at 18," Gideon recites, pacing around the room in a vaguely reminiscent manner, "went to ranger school, did 6 years before being dishonorably discharged in '95 for conduct unbecoming. Obviously lied about it, joined the Arlington P. D."
"You were right," the police captain sighs. "He was a cop."
His hopeless tone is disheartening, and you find yourself upset for not the first time that your team was correct in their assessment.
After the initial commotion, the E.R. is silent except for a few muffled voices. You can't hear what's being said, but the lack of gunshots or loud noises is all that's keeping you from falling apart.
"It'll be okay," you hear whispered from next to you. You turn to see Derek, who presses his shoulder to yours briefly. "Hotch will know what to do."
You know there's nothing you can do from out here, especially with how precarious the situation inside is, but doing nothing has never been your strong suit.
"I know," you tell him, echoing your thoughts. "I just wish we could help."
Derek cocks his head at the S.W.A.T. team readying themselves to break the door down. "We can help. We need to give Hotch and the kid time to wear Dowd down."
His tone is light and you feel yourself laugh, ignoring the thickness that swells in your throat. "That shouldn't take long."
Derek bumps your arm again in a silent extension of comfort, and you mouth a silent thank you.
You can feel Gideon losing patience as he reasons with the captain, but he eventually buys them three minutes to do what they can. When the final five second countdown starts, you unconsciously hold your breath, only to be released when Hotch's voice calls through the door.
"Hold your fire!"
Your breath comes out like a gasp and you squeeze Derek's arm before rushing forward. Hotch stumbles past you with a murmur that sounds obscurely like "help Reid", so you push your way through the throng of civilians moving to escape until you see him.
"Spencer," you gasp, crouching down to help him into a standing position. You would never admit it to him, but ever since he joined the team, he's been something of a little brother to you. "What happened in here? Are you okay?"
"You were right," he says with a surprising steadiness to his voice. "I got the job done."
You don't ask what he means, knowing that Hotch will fill you in when the time is right. Instead, you decide not to fight the vaguely maternal urge rising within you and you pull him into a tight hug. It's more of a quick squeeze, because you don't want to push past his physical boundaries, but he doesn't complain, instead looking over at you with a small smile that's more than enough for now.
***
You find Hotch where the departed ambulance that patched Reid up was parked. All of the hustle and bustle of the paramedics and local police officers and bureau agents comes to a standstill as you walk over to where he's sitting on the edge of the curb.
"I heard what happened," you say as a way to announce your presence. "Can I sit?"
He nods without looking up, and you crouch down next to him, settling on the curb with your shoulder pressed to his. You can feel the tension in his muscles as he grips the sidewalk, his palms digging into the concrete like he could break through if he pressed hard enough. "Reid.."
"..is fine," you whisper, nudging him so he looks up to where Spencer and Jason are chattering excitedly. "He's more proud than anything."
He doesn't say anything, so you bump your knee against his. "I guess all of the physical training classes you made him take at the academy paid off."
He knows you know exactly what is running through his mind, so he doesn't bother trying to articulate it. Instead, he lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, and looks over at you. "Do you remember that self-defense class we took before law school?"
You're not expecting this question, and you almost laugh. "You mean the singular self-defense class you dragged me to before dawn in the summer before we started at Georgetown?"
He levels you with a look that you would think is serious if you didn't know him so well. "You don't regret it, though."
"No," you smile, your eyes blurring with emotion. That's where you met Jeff. "I don't."
He was your instructor that day. He only taught that class twice a week, between lectures at Georgetown Law, and it doesn't escape your mind that you so easily could've missed him. One day earlier or later and you never would've met him, never would've been his girlfriend, or his wife, or his widow.
Hotch remembers meeting him that day too. He had to literally come to your apartment and drag you out of bed to make the seven AM class that he had signed you both up for, and you had been grumpy the whole drive over.
There wasn't much, other than coffee, that could get you alert before eight in the morning, but the moment you walked into that gym, it was like you were wide awake. He spent the rest of the class trying not to look as the man he would later come to know as Agent Adler kept coming over to give you extra pointers, and he pretended that the coil of ice slithering up his spine was there just because he was watching out for you.
When he found out the two of you had started dating, he continued to pretend the nausea rising in his stomach was from the day-old sandwich he had had for lunch, because it wasn't fair. Especially since he was with Haley, and he was happier than he had ever been, even if the new law school course load was making it harder to see her as often as he wanted to.
But eventually, your happiness with him overpowered every protective urge he felt, and he realized that even if there was a feeling in his gut that he didn't recognize when he saw you two together, Jeff was perfectly suited for you.
***
"He's so gorgeous!" JJ coos, her hands twitching at her sides like she's trying not to reach forward and take the baby out of Haley's hands.
She brought Jack, their newborn son, in to work today to show the team, and Hotch looks prouder than you've ever seen him. "Thank you."
"If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive."
"Reid!" you chastise, swatting at him. He dodges your hands without even looking.
"Look at his widdy biddy nose," Garcia squeals, before turning to Morgan with an inquisitive look. "Don't you want one of these?"
He just laughs as he rests his chin on her shoulder. "Mm, I'll stick to practicing."
"Congratulations," Elle chimes in before returning to Gideon's side to continue discussing the new case that came in. She's always on top of things, and it's something you respect greatly about her.
"Thanks," Hotch smiles, his gaze returning to Jack after looking away for only a moment. Jack is like a siren, the way each of his little sounds or movements holds Hotch's attention so steadily. He's the most focused of all of you, but you've still never seen him this enamored. "She's amazing. I'm a little terrified."
"You're glowing," you tell Haley as the rest of the team heads to the briefing room. "How is it that you had a baby just a few weeks ago?"
"You're sweet," she smiles, before tilting her head forward. "Do you want to hold him? You're practically his aunt."
You gasp quietly, so as not to wake little Jack. "That is a title I will carry proudly. And yes, I would love to hold him."
Haley hands him to you slowly, and you make sure to support his head carefully as you cup your arms around him. He looks so much like Haley that you almost make a joke about Hotch's genes not even putting up a fight, but that nose...that nose has Hotch written all over it.
When you glance back to where the team left from, you see him turn back at the same moment and offer you an encouraging smile.
"How are you holding up?" you ask Haley, barely able to focus on your surroundings with a newborn in your arms. Maybe there is something to the siren thing.
"Jack's been incredible. He barely cries, it's kind of a godsend...but I do wish Aaron could take time off with me."
You give her what you hope is your most comforting smile. "We've been super swamped with cases here, but in all my years working with him, I have never seen him so eager to leave every night."
She laughs, a pretty sound you remember from your youth. "I know. I feel so unfair when I complain about these things, but I appreciate you humoring me."
"Not at all," you assure her, glancing back down at Jack, who is mid-yawn. "I understand completely. If I had one of these little guys, I wouldn't be able to think about anything else."
You hear her breath catch and you open your mouth to reassure her that it's fine, but she is already reaching forward to squeeze your arm. "You and Jeff would have made amazing parents."
When you both joined the bureau, you were so busy with work that kids weren't on your mind at all. It wasn't until you got settled at the BAU, and Jeff found his place with organized crime, that you even started talking about it.
You want kids, don't you?
Only a few. Maybe four or five. Yeah, five's a good number.
"I should get back to the team," you say softly, blinking away the memories.
Haley sees your face and she smiles sadly as she takes Jack back from your arms. "I'll see you soon. Tell him I'm heading home, will you?"
You nod and watch the elevator doors close in front of her, before joining the team.
***
"I can't believe you went bar hopping without me," Derek shakes his head, feigning offense as he leans so far back in his chair you're afraid it may tip over.
"I think hopping is kind of a strong word," you say, glancing over at Elle, who is perched on the edge of your desk. "We only had one bar in mind, but it closed earlier than we thought, so we went somewhere else after."
"This was a much needed girl's night," Elle grins, patting Morgan on the shoulder as he continues to pout. "We'll invite you next time."
"How was your weekend, Dr. Reid?" you ask, turning around to face him.
Spencer doesn't look up from his crossword.
You say his name again, recalling the attention of Derek and Elle, who had started talking about some trip they've been planning for what feels like months.
When he still doesn't look up, you pick up one of the BAU-provided pens on your desk and chuck it at him, just hard enough to bridge the gap between your desks, but not so hard that it hurts on impact.
"Ow!" Spencer yelps anyway, glancing up with a look that's somewhere between confusion and indignation. He picks the pen up off the ground and turns it over to see the tiny insignia on the cap. "This is FBI property."
"How was your weekend, Spencer?" you ask again, ignoring him. "Didn't you say you had some fun stuff planned?"
"I did," he lights up, instantly forgetting about the pen incident. "My local movie theater was showing reruns of the first season of the original Star Trek, so I got to experience it on the big screen."
Derek laughs and walks back over to his desk next to yours. "We have very different definitions of fun weekend plans, kid."
You're about to tell Derek that no one wants to hear what his idea of fun is when the office door upstairs flies open and Hotch and Gideon walk out.
Reid hands you back your pen, and Derek sits up in his chair so fast it's almost comical.
"We have another case," Hotch announces before coming to a stop.
Gideon takes it away. "Our unsub is male, intelligent, organized and methodical. He has the confidence of a man who's been killing for a long time."
"Only victim removed from the scene is Freddy Condore indicating some tie to him."
Hotch turns to you. "You, Elle, and Reid stay on Condore's background with Garcia. The rest of us will head to the crime scene."
You nod before standing up. "Let's go, kids."
Penelope's lair is just as eccentric as you remember it.
"Take a seat," she instructs before logging into her computer and opening up her criminal history database. "Just don't get too comfortable."
Your lips quirk up as Elle flashes her eyes at you, and you nod your head at the empty chair on Garcia's opposite side. Reid is already sitting on a desk chair by the back, spinning in aimless circles as he rattles off a list of markers to search for.
After a minute, Penelope stops typing. "Credit card receipts show Freddy loved crab cakes, preferred light beer and used to spend his Thursday nights with a woman in Fells Point."
You pick up a stress toy shaped like a tomato from one of her shelves and bounce it in your palm, just for something to occupy your hands.
"What about his associates?" Elle asks, grabbing a pen with a pom-pom on the end and poking it at Spencer's knee.
"Most of them have criminal records."
Elle glances up. "That much I guessed."
Penelope frowns, and looks pointedly at the pen in her hand.
"She's holding the tomato!" Elle complains, throwing a finger at you.
You lift up your hands in surrender, dropping the stress toy. "Thanks a lot, Greenaway."
"Anyway," Reid interrupts, to everyone's surprise, "One of these guys is particularly interesting. Pull up James Baker's rap sheet."
Penelope turns back to her computer as Spencer reads over her shoulder. "He spent time in juvenile detention for attempted murder, was released at age 21, and then subsequently arrested for, and this is in order, armed robbery, petty theft, burglary, narcotics sales, and rapе."
"What's so interesting about that?"
"When it comes to psychological behavior, anything is possible but this criminal history? It just isn't probable."
Elle nods in agreement. "I mean, as a minor, he began with attempted murder and then devolved into pettier crimes?"
"It's the criminal history of a fractured schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder," you sigh. "It just does not make sense."
***
Hotch calls you into his office when he and Morgan return from Baker's address. You can tell something is off before you even step through the door, so you shut it behind you and take a seat in front of his desk.
"What's going on?" you ask, your eyes glancing over his face to see if his micro-expressions can give you a hint. "What's wrong?"
He looks up with a sigh, his hands clasped on his desk. "Baker's place was an artificial dwelling, and the weapon we recovered on the scene was standard law enforcement issue."
It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what he's trying to say - a few seconds longer than usual - and your breath stutters in your throat. "He was undercover?"
"That's what it looks like," Hotch agrees. "I wanted to inform you before telling the rest of the team."
You nod, pressing your eyes closed for a beat.
He missed his pick-up, Mrs. Adler.
We'll call you as soon as we know more.
The memories start to flood back in and you squeeze your eyes shut tighter before opening them. Hotch looks blurry for a moment until your eyes adjust to the light again.
"Does organized crime know where he is?" you ask, desperately needing to fill the silence.
He looks down at the case file. "We assume so, but it's not like they would tell us. They weren't too happy that we were taking on this case at all, and now we know why."
"Maybe they'll talk to me," you suggest, even though the idea of talking to Josh Cramer makes you taste bile. You haven't seen him since a month after the funeral. It's not for his lack of trying, you just couldn't stomach looking at any of them after what happened. One missed call turned to ten and eventually they stopped trying.
There's a piercing pain behind your eyes and you squeeze them shut for a momentary relief. "It was only supposed to be three months."
Hotch's brow furrows and you don't look up at him just yet. You can already picture his expression, the anguish you know he feels for you whenever you bring up Jeff.
"It was a three month operation," you continue, knowing you won't be able to discuss it later if you stop talking now. "That's all we signed up for. Three months away from me and then he was on leave for the rest of the year, so that we could focus on us again. Maybe even start a family."
Your voice cracks on the last word and you tilt your head down to hide your face. He hates it when you cry, but that's not fair. He knows how important it is to get your emotions out, so they don't pile up inside of you, but if he had his way, you would never have had a reason to cry in the first place.
"I hadn't seen him in over a month when he was..."
He can hear the tightness in your voice and he resists the overwhelming urge to reach his hand out and take yours. You're sitting a foot back from the desk, and it's not he could reach you from here anyway, but his fingers still ache.
"I don't want to blame them, Aaron," you sigh. Your words sound watery, and he pulls a handkerchief out of his inside jacket pocket and hands it to you. He's almost surprised when you accept the gesture, pressing the cloth square under your eyes to catch the tears leaking out. You were so self-reliant as a kid, never wanting or needing anyone else's help. "I don't want to blame them, but I do. I can't help it, I just do."
Someone else would have consoled you. They would have assured you that feeling this way was natural, and that no one could blame you for feeling what you do, but that isn't who you two are. "Jeff wouldn't."
His name is like a dagger to your heart. You practically wince as Hotch digs further. "That team was his family, just like we are yours. He wouldn't blame them, not for this. Not for something he chose."
Something he chose. This is why you don't let yourself remember that day. This is why you kept that day - the day you got that horrible call - locked up inside your brain, where not even you could reach it. Because if you let yourself think about it and remember, then you will remember that it wasn't really Cramer or his unit or the bureau that you blamed. It was him.
For choosing to miss his pick-up. For choosing to go undercover. For choosing to join organized crime.
You take a deep breath and re-adjust yourself in the uncomfortable chair Hotch refuses to replace, even though it's literally splitting at the seams. Something about your tax dollars hard at work. "What are you going to do about Baker?"
He lets you change the subject. "We have to contact Agent Cramer before-
"What the hell is wrong with you people?"
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"Sorry?" Hotch frowns, both of you standing up immediately.
Cramer doesn't take his eyes off Hotch as he seethes with anger. "I told you, this is my case! You ran my agent through IBIS?"
"Because I wanted to know who he worked for and now that I do, I'd like to talk to him."
"You don't have him?"
You can hear your heartbeat in your skull.
Hotch looks at you then, and finally Cramer notices your presence. "Y/N...it's been a while."
Your lips press into a thin line. "Almost two years." The anger you've been trying to avoid seeps into your voice against your will and you sigh, returning to the investigation. "How long has Baker been missing?"
"About 12 hours."
"You think he ran?" you ask, watching Cramer closely as his jaw ticks.
"No, Jimmy's too experienced to run without contact."
He realizes his misstep immediately and his shoulders fall. To his credit, he doesn't break eye contact, even as his expression softens. "That's not what I meant. All I'm saying is that I think someone's keeping Jimmy from calling in."
You can feel Aaron looking at you, but you avoid his line of sight. If you're going to have to interact with organized crime, you might as well make yourself useful. "We all want the same thing, Cramer: to get Baker back to his family."
You wait outside as he explains the situation in more detail to Hotch and Gideon, and you're surprised when he's the first to leave. "Can we talk?"
Hotch comes out behind him and raises his eyebrow for a fraction of a second, a check-in. Swallowing thickly, you nod your head and follow him down the hall to the top of the stairs.
"I'm sorry I haven't reached out recently," he says as soon as you're out of earshot of the others. "You know Jeff was one of our top guys."
Your eyes shut at his name, as though someone clapped their hands too close to your face. It's almost laughable how sure you were that you were past your grief. You passed the bureau's psych evaluation after your six month leave with flying colors (because your team practically wrote the answers yourselves), and as each new day passed and you weren't so debilitated by just the thought of him, you thought it meant you were fine. Because time heals all wounds. At least it's supposed to.
"I know," you whisper scratchily, before clearing your throat. "I know that. And it's okay. We've all been busy." You look down at the bustling bullpen where his agents are interacting with your team. "Clearly."
Then you remember you're job here in the first place. "We really are just trying to help. It wouldn't hurt to keep us involved."
Cramer sighs and you know he won't refuse. "We'll loop you in."
***
James Baker is found and Vincent Perotta gets taken into custody, but you can still hear the end of the interrogation ringing in your ears.
"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent.
When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.
And some people grow up to catch them."
You can't pinpoint exactly what you're feeling, but if you had to guess, it would be sorrow. Sorrow for that little boy who got dealt the worst hand you can imagine, and still turned into the best version of who he could've been.
Hotch can't get the interrogation out of his mind either. He had grabbed his briefcase and headed out to the elevators as soon as Perotta was taken away, in the hopes of avoiding everybody. He's about to let out his breath when a hand reaches between the doors and sends them flying open again.
Normally your appearance is a welcome sight, but tonight, he's had enough talking. Perotta took everything he had to give, and then some, and he doesn't know if he has the strength to go through the proceedings again with you.
"I just want to get home," he says as you stand next to him without a word and face the doors. To my family.
You don't say anything as the little fluorescent floor number ticks down - has it always been this slow - and he feels his nerves tighten with agitation. You're never silent, especially not about something like this.
Just before the elevator reaches the second floor, you reach forward and pull the emergency stop button. He whispers your name, half irritated half relieved, and you step in front of him, focusing your eyes on his. It's a classic profiler technique, both to mentally establish trust and to physically block him from the keypad.
"You're a great father, Aaron."
His mind flashes back 25 years, but he squeezes the hand in his pocket into a fist to keep himself from succumbing to the memories. "I'm trying."
He knows what you're doing, and he would normally be open to a healthy exchange between two adults, but tonight he just can't. It's too fresh.
You seem to understand at least a fraction of what he's trying to convey. Your next words are gentle. "That already makes you a thousand times better than him."
That almost makes him smile. "You can say his name, you know."
You shrug, looking at him with a glint in your eye. "Honestly, I don't think I can. I'm afraid I'll turn into a pile of ash, with the fury your father instills in me."
That's what gets him. He coughs out a laugh that echoes around the elevator, and you return to his side, giving him a moment to breathe on his own.
This time, when his mind spirals back to his childhood, he's not as equipped to block it. The memories come in flashes, a blackening bruise on his abdomen, a split lip explained away through roughhousing in the backyard, the thin scars on his hands and elbows as he finally started to fight back. He would've taken it all forever if he had to, if it meant that he could keep the horrors away from the people he loved. "I really should go."
"Yeah." You push the emergency stop back into place and the elevator hits the ground floor in no time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Hotch."
He steps out, half expecting you to follow him. Instead, the doors close and he's by himself again, and he suddenly can't remember why he wanted to be alone in the first place.
***
When the Keystone Killer is finally caught after 18 years of inactivity, he finds himself expecting for there to be some sort of celebration, either in the form of a commendation, or a much-needed break. Instead, what he gets is a mountain of paperwork.
He usually doesn't mind the paperwork that comes after a long case. It's a helpful way for him to sort through his thoughts on what went down, and to learn from mistakes that were made along the way, whether in the profile or in the capture of the unsub.
Lately, paperwork has felt like an added torture to the long hours he already spends at work. It's not that he wasn't excited about going home before, but ever since Jack was born, he hasn't been able to get out of the office fast enough. But being the unit chief of the BAU has its responsibilities, and this is one of them.
He's drowning in consultation files and case reports when you knock on his door, two coffees in hand.
"Thought that was you," he says, finishing the sentence he was writing.
You frown, setting one steaming cup down on his desk. He hasn't even looked up yet. "How'd you know? Or do you just say that to everyone who walks in here?"
His lip twitches and he puts his pen down. "I could smell the coffee. It always smells the same when you make it."
"Oh?" You weren't aware you had a method. "And how's that?"
"Burnt."
You take the lid off your cup and chuck it at him with surprising accuracy. It would have thwacked him in the forehead if he hadn't swatted it aside with his stupid catlike reflexes.
"What are you working on?" you ask after taking a scalding sip of perfectly brewed coffee.
He looks up for a beat before diving back into the file he was skimming. "Paperwork for the Keystone Killer case."
"But we just finished that," you point out before reaching forward and taking the file out from under his nose.
He huffs. "I was...looking at that."
"This is a report on what happened a couple of hours ago," you say, ignoring his remark. "You can easily do this tomorrow, or later this week."
"It's fresh in my mind now. I don't want to forget any details."
You shrug in a motion that says 'fair enough'. "Or, you could actually go home before midnight for once."
You slide another file off the top of his pile and flip it open, reading over the notes Hotch has scribbled in the margins. He's so meticulous about his job that you almost forget he was promoted just a little over a year ago. He became unit chief at the same time that you joined the team, so you didn't get to see him in his early days, but looking at him now, you almost can't imagine it. It's like he's built for this, for taking responsibility and leading people with kindness and respect.
"Elle said something on the plane today," he says suddenly, jerking you from your thoughts.
You close the file and look up as he runs a hand over his head, pushing his thick hair back just for it to bounce forward again. "She said that she's scared she's going to look up and see that her life has passed her by while she was chasing monsters."
Something cold runs through your veins and you sit up straighter in your chair. "And what did you say?"
"I told her the truth."
You smile in an effort to keep your eyes from shining. "What, that we're all doomed?"
He looks at you candidly. "That this job will eat you up if you let it." Your smile falls and he continues. "You just can't let it."
"I'm sure Elle loved hearing that."
He shrugs. "She was surprisingly receptive."
That gets a laugh out of you, even if the good humor doesn't last long. "I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?"
"This job, while also being a husband, and a father." You sigh, and you can almost feel the weight of the air as it leaves your body. "When I go home, I don't have to be anything to anyone. Most of the time it feels awful, but sometimes, after an especially bad case, I'm almost relieved when I can go home and just check out."
You aren't talking about him anymore, and he can tell. He doesn't mind, if this is what it will take for you to work through your emotions.
"We were gonna start trying for a baby."
That surprises him. Not that you wanted to be a mother - he knows that - but that he didn't know you were already thinking about it, especially because of how you grew up. You don't talk about it often, but after losing your mother to a drunk driver when you were ten, you almost transformed into her, becoming the emotional support for your family when there was no one else to fill that role.
You press your lips into a thin line and take a deep breath, your coffee cold and forgotten on the desk in front of you. "We had been talking about it for years, but with the paths our careers were taking, there just wasn't enough time before then." Your eyes look far away, and you don't seem to notice that your lips have unconsciously curved up into a reminiscent smile. "Jeff wanted five kids. Five. God, can you imagine?"
He can, but he doesn't say anything, because he knows you aren't looking for a response. Just for someone to listen.
"I'm an only child," you say with a laugh. "I don't even know what it's like to have one sibling, let alone four." But Jeff had come from a huge family, and he had wanted you to experience that. He loved how full his home always felt growing up, never without someone to talk to. Now you won't ever get to experience that. "I guess I just wish sometimes that we had tried earlier."
"You'll have it someday," Hotch says simply, practically reading your mind. "If that's what you want, you'll have it."
"I waited so long," you whisper, closing your eyes for a long moment. "I was just so afraid that I wouldn't do it right, because I didn't have my mother anymore to help me."
"You would've been a great mother," he assures you, his voice confident. "One day, you will be."
Your breath comes out like a gasp and you clear your throat to keep the tears at bay. "How do you know?"
"I just know."
***
When you push through the doors to the bullpen the next morning, you are greeted by a familiar head of blonde hair.
"Sean?"
He turns around slowly, clearly recognizing your voice, and pulls his lips up into a smile that you return. "Hey, Y/N, how's it going?"
You weren't close to him as a kid, mostly because of the age gap between him and Hotch. You had tried to make more of an effort after graduating college, but Sean was fierce in his convictions, and there were a lot of things he didn't understand about his childhood that you certainly weren't going to explain to him now.
"Good, good," you say, leading him away from the throng of staring women. You shoot them a look that makes them disperse. "You here for your brother? He's upstairs."
He nods, glancing up at the closed office door. You start to lead him to the stairwell when he stops in his tracks and turns to you. "What mood's he in?"
"Why?" you ask, your brow furrowing. "You got bad news? Nothing I need to worry about, I hope."
Sean shakes his head, glancing up at the closed door again. "Nothing like that. I'll just go up."
You let him walk up on his own, knowing he doesn't want you getting involved in whatever he's thinking about. Before you have a moment to catch your breath, the three women return to your side.
"That's Hotch's brother?" Penelope asks, standing so close you can feel her breath on your ear.
"Maybe Hotch is adopted."
"What do you mean?" you ask, unconsciously glancing up the stairs. "They're honestly pretty similar." You're only half joking. They don't look anything alike, but that Hotchner brand of righteousness runs deep.
JJ frowns. "I don't see it."
"Yeah, he looks...like that," Penelope murmurs, before looking at you. "Did you know him when you were younger? Was he hot then too?"
You choke on your own spit. "He was nine years old when I left for college, so...no."
Her eyes widen and she lifts her hands in surrender.
"Ooh, here he comes."
You look up to see Sean storming down the stairs, Hotch hot on his heels.
"Sean, listen to me."
He turns so fast, you're afraid they're going to crash into each other. "Don't profile me, Aaron."
Sean stomps out of the bullpen while Hotch watches him leave, and you can't get the striking feeling of deja vu out of your head. Two boys, 15 years younger than they are now, standing in the same positions, with the same looks on their faces.
You imagine that you and Hotch probably act the same way around each other as when you first met, at eight years old.
The memory comes easily, even with more than two decades of time standing in the way. The little boy with dark hair who had sat next to you on the school bus, just because there were no other empty seats available that day.
You hadn't said anything for the first few stops, just watched him out of the corner of your eye as he nodded his head unconsciously to the music coming out of his large headphones. Eventually, curiosity got the better of you and you tapped on his shoulder. "What are you listening to?"
He had taken his headphones off quickly, as though caught in the act. "What?"
You repeated your question before leveling him with a pointed stare that meant 'there is a correct answer'. You were a feisty kid, and you weren't always the best at making first impressions, so his steady response impressed you. "Beatles. Revolver album."
"I love that one!" you had gushed, leaning in closer without a warning to press your ear to one of the speakers on his headphones. "Is this Yellow Submarine?"
He had nodded, the confusion in his eyes slowly transforming into delight. "You know their stuff?"
"Of course. My favorite's Eleanor Rigby."
He had frowned then. "That one's too sad."
You weren't surprised by his opinion. You had yet to find a boy your age who could appreciate serious music, but liking The Beatles was a start, at least.
"I'm Y/N," you had said, extending your hand like you were starting a business meeting.
He shook your hand furtively. "Aaron."
"Maybe I'll see you around."
The school bus had stopped at your street then, and you had gotten up without another word to this boy, who would one day become your best friend in the world.
Luckily, the next day, Aaron chose to sit next to you again, this time with a second pair of headphones to attach to his compact cassette deck. Two days turned to three, and before long, you had a new friend.
***
"I can't imagine what two weeks away from this place is gonna feel like," you sigh, packing some essentials into your bag and snapping it shut. "I might actually miss you guys."
"Not me," Morgan grins, before pressing a kiss to your cheek as he zips around you. "Two weeks of pure heaven with nothing but young, beautiful adults looking to make vacation memories."
"Your friend's resort better be as nice as you say it is," Elle says sternly as she wiggles her finger at Derek, who is busy inviting Reid to join their vacation.
"Thanks, but I'm going home," he says quickly, without looking at any of you. "Have a good one, guys."
"I'll head out too," you announce, grabbing your things and following him to the elevators. "Wait up, Spence."
He doesn't seem to hear you, but you slip through the doors just before they close. "You okay?"
"Huh?" he says, finally looking up. "Oh, yeah. I'm just not looking forward to the Nevada heat."
You can tell he's lying, but you don't want to press him right before the long break. "You can always call me if you need anything. Seriously."
"Yeah," he nods. "I know."
You wave goodbye to him in the parking lot, and you're back in the silence of your home by the end of the hour.
The rest of your day is spent lazing around the house, and you're asleep when you hear a knock at your door. After Jeff's death, you started keeping your gun in your nightstand, more out of a general sense of security than any specific acute fear, but its proximity during late night calls has given you the peace of mind you needed to finally sleep through the night.
Lifting it from the drawer, you hold it behind your back as you tiptoe to your front door and look through the peephole. When you don't see anyone, you carefully pull the door open, only to find a small packet sitting on your welcome mat with your name scrawled on the top.
After bringing it inside the house and locking the door again, you pry open the seal and extract a large piece of paper covered in a series of numbers and dots.
That's when the phone rings.
***
"How's it going?" you ask Reid and Morgan as you enter the conference room where all of the Fisher King's clues have been laid out. Neither of them have taken their eyes off the paper you brought in since you tacked it up on the board.
As expected, Reid doesn't look up. "The answer to what book we need has to be in here."
"Yeah," Derek sighs, glancing over at you, "but we sure as hell can't see it."
"Yet."
You look at the numbers again, hoping that your short walk to the coffee station and back would have been enough to unlock something new in your brain. Nothing. "The answer has to be based on specific details of each person's clue." A small sound turns your attention to the couch, where Elle is lying on her side. "Is Elle asleep?"
"I'm awake!" she starts, sitting up lethargically.
At the outburst, Hotch walks into the room and points at her bags. "I'm sending you home. You need to get some rest."
"No-"
"We won't do anything without you, I promise."
"Elle, seriously, we're not any closer than we were."
She nods, her lack of sleep seeming to dawn on her as she yawns again.
"Anderson," Hotch calls out, before you stop him. "What is it?"
"I can take her home," you suggest, looking over your shoulder as she lugs her bags down the hall with bleary eyes. He looks like he wants to protest, so you speak up before he has the chance. "She barely knows Anderson. I'll make sure she's settled, and then you can send him to watch her house, so I can come back here."
"I don't know if that's a good idea," he sighs, his eyes still trained on Elle's silhouette lingering by the elevator. "We may need you here."
You cock your head at Reid and Morgan, who have been sitting in the same positions for so long, you're surprised their necks haven't locked. "It's like they said. We haven't made any progress in over an hour. I'm not helping here."
He still looks unsure, but you know it's just worry. He'll always worry about you. "Okay, go. Call me in an hour to check-in."
You dip your head in a nod and jog through the bullpen to catch Elle as she's heading out.
"So you're my bodyguard, huh?"
You laugh, pressing the button for the ground floor. "Something like that."
"Good," Elle says, trying and failing to stifle a yawn, "you're much more fun than Anderson."
"Prettier, too."
The car ride to her house starts off silent, but eventually you break your internal promise to let her come to you. "How are you feeling after last night?"
She just shrugs. "It was more annoying than anything. I'm just glad I got to enjoy at least some of my vacation."
"I heard there was blood all over your room," you point out lightly, trying to broach the subject in a delicate manner. "That can't have been fun to wake up to."
"It was all on the outside. That's part of why they weren't able to hold me. That, and Hotch's lawyer chops."
You raise an eyebrow, glancing over at her as you pull over to the sidewalk. "His lawyer chops?" You know he used to be a prosecutor before joining the bureau, but you never got to see his skills in action.
"Yeah," Elle gushes, her face brightening considerably, "you should have seen the way he walked in there. Those beat cops had no idea what hit 'em. He was in full prosecutor mode, went all rainmaker on them until they released me."
You can imagine it. If any of you were in trouble, he wouldn't let anything get between him and your safety. "I wish I could've seen that."
When you put the car in park, you help Elle with her bags and walk her up to her door, where she insists that she'll be fine on her own.
"I promised I would wait with you until another agent could come and relieve me," you emphasize, instinctively scanning the vicinity around her home as she walks inside and drops her things on the floor.
"In about thirty seconds, I'll be passed out on this couch right here," she points at the window seat behind her, "so you'll just be watching me sleep for an hour."
You open your mouth to argue but she cuts you off. "Y/N, I'll be fine."
If there's one word to describe Elle, it's stubborn, so you let her shut the door behind her and you walk back to your car. Even if she won't let you sit with her inside, you still can't bring yourself to start the ignition, so you lean your seat back halfway and close your eyes, just for a few moments.
You haven't gotten much sleep either, and you're about to doze off when you hear a loud thud from outside the car. Jerking up, you undo the clasp of your holster and push open the car door. The world is silent, except for the rustling of leaves in the wind, but you start making your way up the drive, just to be sure. There's another thud, quieter this time, and you reach for your sidearm as you ascend her porch steps. Then comes a gunshot.
You start running.
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kimstills · 15 days
Text
some reassurance - aaron hotchner x gn!reader
in which you try to provide aaron with some reassurance after he asks for his worst qualities.
content warnings: a little hotch aftermath of s2e15 (nothing goes into detail), no haley in this story but no real mentions about her, the team is kind of mean, aaron and reader literally flirting even tho reid just got kidnapped not too long ago. word count: 1.5k a/n: inspired by this post by @greg-montgomery ! my man is not a bully <3 also not proofread oops
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he’s a classic narcissist.
he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team.
what’s my worst quality?
i have no sense of humor.
you don’t trust women as much as men.
you can be a drill sergeant sometimes.
you’re a bully.
you’re sure that if the words of the events from the past 12 hours have been ringing in your head since they first happened, they’re probably ringing in hotch’s head, too.
but you’re also sure that he’s trying to play it as if nothing happened. as if he didn’t get completely verbally obliterated by his team members.
you lost count of how many times you had turned to look at hotch from the moment reid had chosen him to be ‘killed’ after tobias hankel had asked him to pick someone from his team. from the moment you had all figured out where the devolving man was keeping reid.
from the moment you had saved your friend, to the moment the case had been wrapped up, to the moment your boss had just now ordered everyone to take the weekend off right after arriving back to the quantico headquarters, despite immediately locking himself in his office afterwards.
you had contemplated saying anything from when reid had first chosen hotch as hankel’s sacrifice, and you contemplate saying anything now as you stare up at his office, the curtains having been drawn and the door closed ever since coming back, even when everyone else was gathering their things and was about ready to leave.
you didn’t know what it was about hotch or your relationship with him, but you had always found yourself protective of him ever since breaking through the ‘cold’ and ‘stoic’ persona the team had made up for him and crafting a genuine friendship with him.
you had been the first to follow after him when he had left the room with all the computer screens where you and your team had watched reid ‘choose’ him, hot on his heels trying to reassure him that the young genius wasn’t in his right mind.
it had been impossible, though, watching in silent horror and palpable confusion as he asked the rest of his team to list his worst qualities while trying to realize that everything spencer said was on purpose.
what emily had said, you had let slide. she was new to the team, and although you reassured her that all would turn fine in her journey with you and the rest of the bau, you couldn’t deny the lack of trust the others had in her.
derek butted heads with hotch the most and was the most brazen when it came to standing up to him, never afraid to call bullshit even with knowing that hotch was hard on him because he knew of morgan’s potential.
what jj had said, though, you didn’t understand. there had never been a time where you could actively recall hotch being purposefully rude or mean to anyone without it being called for.
he could put people in his place and humble an officer or two when needed, but he had never been mean to you nor to anyone else just because. so, when the words ‘bully’ left jj’s mouth, you couldn’t help but furrow your brows and send a glare her way despite the traumatic events she was still reeling through.
spencer had said himself that he knew hotch would understand, so you could only assume that everyone else had assumed the older man wouldn’t take anything personal, especially after being the one to ask the question.
you had only given his shoulder a squeeze seconds after he ordered everyone to get some rest, offering a comforting smile.
but you knew that wasn’t enough.
so, before you even registered what you were doing, you brush past the startled and confused stares derek and emily give you as you stand abruptly from where you had been perched on your desk and march up the stairs to hotch’s office.
the determination in which you made your way up there contrasted from the gentle knock you raptured on his door, waiting patiently for the deep voice to allow you to enter.
at the sound of his permission, you stepped inside, smiling softly when aaron looks up to glance at you.
he’s standing on the left side of his desk, shuffling papers together and sliding them into a manilla folder. he seems tense, like he finally let himself feel what he was trying to avoid back at hankel’s house, but, solely from the warmth of your smile, his shoulders drop and his body languages is immediately relaxed by your presence.
“i thought i sent you home?” he asks, giving you a knowing look as he stacks the folders neatly on one of the baskets he kept in one of the corners of his desk.
you shake your head no, “not yet,” you close the door behind you gently, catching a peek of morgan and prentiss’ confused stares before turning to look at him.
aaron’s brows furrow at you closing his door, “are you alright?” he asks, stopping in his movements.
you shrug, “as alright as i can be, i guess,” you say, fiddling with your fingers. you feel yourself growing shy under his perplexed stare, but you push it down in order to ask, “are you alright?”
aaron blinks at you, the crease in between his forehead deepening even more, if possible. after a second, you can see the gears winding in his head before it all clicks together, the hardening stare he wore slowly dropping as he realizes what you mean.
“i’m fine.” he says shortly. you know from the many times you’ve accompanied other members of your team to check up on him that they would normally drop the questioning after that, but you weren’t like the rest of them. apparently.
“aaron,” you speak up, his gaze immediately flickering back up to you at your use of his first name, “i don’t think you’re a bully,”
your tone is genuine and comforting and he wants nothing but to completely delve into it. to bury himself in that same comfort and simply stay there as you whisper reassurances.
but the only thing he does in response is shake his head, continuing his maneuvering around his desk as a way to avoid what you were trying to do, “y/n, it’s okay.” he shakes his head, “i didn’t take any of it personally. gideon was right; reid wasn’t in his right mind during then,”
you shrug again, trying your best to get him to look at you without rounding his desk and standing right in front of him, “still. what jj said was pretty uncalled for,”
“well, i was the one who practically called for it,” aaron reminds you, looking up at you through his lashes as he continues to fix files.
you hum. you don’t know if what you’re trying to do is working or not, but you see the harsh lines around his brows soften and a faint pink bloom at his cheeks, one that makes your own face heat up.
“well,” you huff, “i also think that you’re pretty funny.” you shrug again, “really funny, actually.”
everything you’re telling him just now is true, but this is the most honest thing yet. derek, emily, and spencer all had their funny moments, yes, but aaron’s sense of humor was very similar to yours. and, to be fair, it didn’t come out as much due to him sticking to that false persona.
but when it did, you were the first one to understand the joke or the first to laugh and even the one laughing the hardest.
once again, aaron is frozen by your words, this time completely dropping what he was doing to stare you with bewilderment. he raises a brow, “you do?” his question is hesitant, like he doesn’t believe you.
and you know that he doesn’t. so you nod, “yeah,” you smile brightly at him, “you make me laugh a lot. even more than morgan.” this time you’re the one hesitating, taking a moment to wonder if what you’re doing is crossing a line between you and him. “or anyone else, really.” you tilt your head, “you’ve never noticed?”
aaron’s face is now a hot pink, and if it wasn’t for the sake of keeping up with his ‘stern’ facade, you’re sure he’d turn away and envelop his face in his hands.
he’s the one to shrug this time, “well, truth be told, i always get distracted by you.” a beat of silence passes before he clears his throat, averting his eyes to what you think is your shoes, “and your laugh.”
you beam despite the feeling of your face getting even hotter at his confession. you can’t help yourself from asking, “you like my laugh?”
“there’s a lot of things i like about you,” aaron admits, much more confident this time, a fond expression adorning his features.
you blush under his gaze, trying your hardest to conceal the wide smile that was threatening to appear on your face. you rock on your heels, hands folded behind your back shyly, “there’s a lot of things i like about you too, hotch.”
“aaron,” he says, not liking the way ‘hotch’ sounded after hearing you say his first name, “aaron, please,”
this time you can’t help the smile that pulls at your lips.
no, aaron hotchner wasn’t a bully at all.
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Note
i was thinking of a good story where it's "the reader and Spencer's wedding they are having a good time and Penelope wants to congratulate them but can't find them, she walks around and finally spots reader she is resting against the wall of a cleaning closet, they talk for a bit and she leaves, when Penelope leaves spencer comes from out of readers dress, and says that that was a close one"
Wedding Bliss | Spencer Reid
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Summery: The post-wedding bliss hits differently after the ceremony, and Spencer and you intend to make the most of it.
Warning/s: just tooth rotting fluff, allusions to smut that happened, wedding, marriage, Penelope's crying, short fic, possible grammar and spelling mistakes, and just all of the love
Author's note: this is just too freaking cute, I just changed the part where Penelope and the reader are walking around, hope that's okay.
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You knew that you would remember this day for the rest of your life and all of the feelings that this day had brought you.
The feeling of you walking down the rose filled aisle with bouquet in your hands as the back of your long dress was trailing behind you slowly. The feeling of the rose petals of your bouquet against your fingers. The look on Spencer's face as you got closer and closer to him standing with Morgan by his side. The lone tear that rolled down his face once he saw you. The smiles on Emily's and JJ's faces. The proud look that Rossi was wearing. The little smile on Aaron's face as he waited in the middle of the aisle to get Spencer and you married to each other. Penelope's pink handkerchief with which she wiped her tears away.
Once you finally reached Spencer, you turned around to give your bouquet to Jack before you turned back around only to see Spencer holding his hand out for you to take. You took it without any hesitation.
Aaron's speech and Spencer's and yours vows were exchanged, the rings were placed and before you knew it you were kissing the love of your life, your soulmate, the one that you married.
The ceremony after the wedding was just perfect. Everyone was very excited and had so much fun. The cake was cut, and the bouquet was thrown, and after the first dance between Spencer and you, the two of you disappeared once you noticed that everyone was dancing, too.
Penelope was looking everywhere for the two of you as she wanted to congratulate Spencer and you one more time. However, as much as she looked around, she didn't see you anywhere.
Thankfully, she saw Derek with a glass of champagne in his hand, talking to Hotch and laughing with him. So she decided to quickly come over and as soon as she did, Derek noticed her.
"Hey, baby girl," he turned to her and smiled, "What's up?"
"Have you seen Mr. and/or Mrs. Reid anywhere?" Penelope asked him as she looked around for you. "I looked everywhere for them, but I didn't find them."
"I think I saw them sneaking around behind the reception so I think that you probably-", Derek talked, but Penelope quickly interrupted him.
"Thank you so much, hot chocolate, bye!" She said before she ran off to look for you, not even looking over her shoulder at Derek.
"-shouldn't look for them." Derek finished with a smirk as he lookedat Aaron. "Well... they're busted I tell you what..."
Penelope walked around until she finally reached her destination. She stood there and looked around for you once more before she called out your name. The call of your name was followed by the rustling and extremely quick and quiet whispers. So quiet, she almost missed them.
"Y/N?" she asked as she found herself standing right in front of you. You were leaned against the white cleaning closet, and you seemed to be a little put of breath.
"Oh, hi, Penelope!" you exclaimed, trying to desperately cover the fact that you were out of breath and flushed.
You then noticed that she was probably going to ask you more questions about the fact that your cheeks were burning red and you were out of breath, so you took a deep breath and asked her if she needed anything. A desperate attempt to get her to change the topic.
"Yes!" Penelope smiled at you, "Yes, I did. I just wanted to say "congratulations" once more to Mr. and Mrs. Reid."
"Awww, Pen," you spoke softly, feeling like you're going to cry. "I love you so much."
"I love you to, sweet cheeks," she smiled at you before she suddenly turned serious, standing up straighter. "Now, I know why you are here."
You panicked.
"Y-You do?" you asked her, slowly.
"Yes, I do," she continued, "to get some peace and quiet from the guests and the whole ceremony."
"I-I am!" you felt like you were washed by the wave of relief that went straight through you at what she said. "I just need some peace, yes."
"I knew it!" she pointed her finger at you jokingly before she frowned her eyebrows as she looked around. "But where is Spencer?"
"Oh, he just went to the bathroom." you quickly came up with a lie as you felt yourself get flushed again.
"Oh," Penelope paused before she continued, "Well, I guess I’m going to congratulate him again a bit later than. I'll leave you to it."
You felt yourself freeze once you saw her going in for a hug, her arms wrapped tightly around you. You were a little stiff as you hugged her, but luckily, she didn't even notice.
And with that and a small smile, she walked away.
Once she walked away far enough, you tapped the back of your long dress. "She's gone."
Lifting the back of your dress up, Spencer got up from underneath your dress. You continued to lean against the wall of the cleaning closet as you watched his also flushed cheeks and his hair that was now even messier than it was before.
"Thank God she didn't suspect anything." Spencer said as he ran his hand through his hair, catching his breath.
"Yeah..." you sighed, "... thank God."
"Now," Spencer said as he walked over to you before slowly lowering down on the ground. Right at the spot where he was before Penelope looked for you, "I hope that you didn't think that we are done here."
"I-I... am..." you stuttered as you watched his eyes filled with lust, but also love, as you watched him watch you.
"Lift your dress back up, love."
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NOT REQUESTED
penelope garcia x stud!reader
primarily penelope and the reader. introduces the team at the end, only mentions hotch, derek and jj by name. brief mention of kevin.
Starting your first day at the BAU, you find yourself trapped in the elevator for hours with a beautiful woman that you can't stop yourself from being attracted to.
Pure Fluff.
Unspecified age gap, but reader is an adult. No use of Y/N.
2K WORDS.
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"Hold it!" You hear as you step into the elevator. You turn, your back facing the back wall of the elevator. You almost don't hold it, but then, she calls again, "Hold the elevator, please!" 
And, that's when your eyes zero in on her. She's a stand out, if you've ever seen one. Colorful and bright as ever, she reminds you of both a sunshine and a rainbow after a rainy day. You reach out, catching the elevator doors before they could close, willing them to react to you and open up. Her heels clack louder as she puts a pep in her step to catch up, thanking you her entire way there. You don't let go or step back until she makes it into the elevator. She thanks you once again, and you assure her thanks isn't necessary. She turns to you, really, turns to you. 
"I don't think I've ever seen you before," she says, outstretching her hand for you to shake, "Penelope Garcia. My friends call me Garcia. 
You shake her hand as you introduce yourself to her and smirk, "Are you saying you want to be my friend?" 
Garcia smiles and her entire face lights up when she does, "Well, I'm always open to making new friends." 
"Where are you headed to?" You ask. 
"I am going to the BAU." 
Well, this must be fate of sorts. Either that or it was the kindest of coincidences. You were happy for it, regardless. This was your first day training for the reopening of the liasion position. You had been hoping that you would meet someone kind to help you transition into the new job. Your smile overtakes you. 
"Same." 
Penelope looks at you again, like really. Your name bouncing between her ears as she tries to place you. If you were headed there, surely she must have at least heard of you. She knows about all the changes to the unit. Well, the ones that aren't impromtu, anyway. Sometimes, Hotch makes a quick decision that doesn't go all the way through proper channels until after the decision has been made. But, other than that, she knows about it. And, then, it dawns on her. 
"Oh, OH! You're our new liasion!" She puts together, and you nod. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to pay closer attention to BAU pres conferences, now." She says, eyes trailing you from head to toe. Not onces but twice. 
"Ms. Garcia," you say, turning fully to face her, leaning in just a little, "you coming onto me?" 
Her face goes beet red as she giggles, eyes twinkling under her glasses. She opens her mouth to respond, but before she can, the elevator does a psuedo drop before halting completely. It goes dark for a moment, and then the emergency lights come back on. When the lights come back on, the two of you see each other hugging your own corner of the elevator. You kind of fucking hate elavators. 
"Please, tell me this doesn't happen often," you say, breaking the ice. She just shakes her head as she tries to get a handle of her breathing. "It can't be like this for long, can it?" You ask, trying to soothe yourself. She ignores you, still trying to get her breathing under control so she can soothe herself. It takes a lot of mental strength for you to push yourself out of your corner and into hers. You wrap your arms around her, gently, when you cross over and ease the two of you down to the floor. You place her hand on your stomach and model slow deep breaths for her to mimick. It takes a moment for her brain to catch up to the moment, but it does. She follows your league until it works, and she's relaxed a bit. Relaxed enough so that her breathing isn't a source of worry. You give her a gentle smile, then, "No worries. I'm going to just call my new boss and tell him where we are." 
"Good idea, call Hotch." She says, watching as you retrieve your phone from your pocket. Your face drops and so does her heart. Frowning she asks, a little frantic, "What is it? What's wrong?" 
"I don't have service," you mutter, restarting your phone, hoping for it to not be the case. But it is, and you mutter again, "I don't have service." 
She retrieves her own phone from her purse, heart dropping further, "Neither do I." 
You takes a deep breath. You don't know Penelope that well, but you are fairly certain that if you lose your shit, she's going to lose hers. So, you can't. Even though, you want to cry a little. Even though, you are terrified that this metal coffin will become you guys' final resting place. You force yourself to be optimistic, though, for both of your sakes. 
"Okay, it's fine. They'll notice we aren't here, and the generators will start working, and we'll be out of hear in no time." 
No time, has turned into four hours, and it's killing you to not know just how long you're going to be stuck here. But, you guys have found a way to not just pass the time but to keep each other sane. The ultimate question game. Where you combine this or that, would you rather, one must go, where do you stand?, and fact or fiction with the general questions game. It was lighthearted, helped you get to know your coworker, who was becoming forbidden fruit as your attraction started to grow, and most importantly, it kept your mind off the whole being trapping in a floating metal coffin thing. 
"Wine or beer?" She asks. 
"Wine," you say without a second thought. "Would you rather walk a mile of hot coals or swim across a lake of razors and lemon juice?" 
She laughs through a scoff, jaw dropping just so, "What a sadistic question." You shrug, pleased with the dilemna you've created. "You answer," she insists. 
"You can't turn it back around on me," you remind her, "We agreed. It's against the rules." 
She huffs, "I really hate the mile of hot coals, but I am not the strongest swimmer. So, I don't really have a choice, do I?" You shake your head. She huffs, "So, what made you want to join the BAU?" 
"Well, I've always been intrigued by how much the media can sway and swing things. How it can speak to the public and change the way they think, how it can send messages to people, to reach people exactly the way it needed to be reach. So, I worked behind the season, helping to produce a national news show. We reported on a lot, from crime to celebrity scandal to politics. The works. But, some of the messages we were sending, how they were reaching people, it just," you shrugged, "I wasn't happy with what I was doing. I saw first hand how dangerous it could be when the intention wasn't solely to help, and I felt sleazy all the time. So, I changed careers. I wanted to better serve the public. Then, they reopened this position, and I had to apply." 
Penelope smirk, curiousity taking over her as she was geared up to break another rule. "What channel did you work for?" 
"No, it's my turn." You remind her, playfully swatting her thigh, "Stop breaking the rules." 
"You know, I was hoping the first time you spanked would be somewhere more private, but I'll take it." 
You play along, "I mean, can it get any more private that this?" 
There's this brief change in her eyes. Almost lustful, but it is so fleeting. You've seen it before, though. It's happened of the last few hours. She looks away, but you keep your eyes on her. 
"Ask your question." 
You don't know why you don't stop yourself from asking this but, "Do you date women?" 
"Are you asking for a friend?" She asks, looking back at you. 
"Nope, just me." 
She blushes, looking away again, trying to see if this moment is real or if maybe she hit her head when the elevator jumped. She does that a lot. Every time the temperature rises between the two of you, she looks away. It's probably the smart thing to do. Trying to break the fever in the air. She is forbidden fruit, after all. You hate to shit where you eat, but you can't remember the last time you were quite this tempted. Especially in a situation like this with absolutely no prying eyes. With little to nothing to remind you that interoffice romance was a bad idea. And, everything just fueling this attraction you feel towards her. You do something bold. A gentle pair of fingers on her chin, pulling her face back to yours. 
"Answer my question." You demand, softly, even though, you are fairly certain you know the answer. 
"I do, actually," she answers, and you smile like you've just won a prize. 
"Your turn." 
"Aren't you a little young to be asking about my dating preferences?" 
You snort out a chuckle, having been with your fair share of older women. If you were being perfectly honest, the youngest woman you had ever been with -- at all -- was seven years your senior. Beyond that, though, you were grown. 
"I'm old enough to be starting my second career, and be something of a veteran at my old one," is your answer. Though, to be fair, you went to college early. Finished early, too, and you were the youngest producer on your staff but a decent margin. Always ahead of the curve you were, but it didn't take away from the truth of your statement. Or, the implication. You were old enough to know what you liked. You were old enough to be her colleague. You were old enough to be her equal. 
"Your turn." She says, because touche. 
"Are you seeing someone right now?" 
"Nothing serious," she answers, "You?" 
You shake your head, "Nothing at all." 
She smiles, then. You, in her mind, were also something of forbidden fruit. She wasn't opposed to dating a techincal coworker. Obviously, Kevin, but someone in her unit? She couldn't let herself go there. She wouldn't. She didn't want to risk the fallout. Especially not with you. You were so new here; she didn't want to taint your experience with relationship drama. Even if you were the sexiest thing to walk into this building since Derek Morgan. Still, it made her happy to know that her future fantasies didn't have to contend with another. She was mildly selfish that way. 
She was about to respond when the regular lights came on, and the emergency lights when off. Not long after, the lights came back on, the doors opened, and the two of you come face to face with six concerned faces. You stand, hasitly, helping her to her feet the moment you were on yours. 
A blonde comes forward, wrapping her arms around Penelope, holding her for a moment. When she releases her, Penelope gives brief hugs to everyone else, until she reaches a bigger guy. Real buff and pretty, like a model. He hugs her as tight and as long as the blonde had. When he releases her, she merely smiles at the man you know to be Aaron Hotchner. 
"Are you okay?" 
"Yes! I am perfectly fine," She says, "Thanks to this lovely human," she says, reaching back for you, "I found our new liaison." She tells the group. You smile and wave, introducing yourself. They all introduce themselves to you. "If it wasn't for her, I would have lost my mind in there." 
Derek makes sure to shake your hand, "Thank you for taking care of her." 
Your eyes settle on her, and you try to contain your smile. Your eyes give you away, though, as you say, "Always," before Hotch connects you with JJ. You recongized her before she even introduced herself. You'd seen her conferences online before. Her older ones. Hotch informs you that she's going to be shadowing and training you for the next couple of weeks while you find your footing, and that your first case is today. You link up with JJ as the team and Penelope separate. When you turn to glance back at her, you find her looking back at you. You smile at each other, already missing the private bubble the two of you shared. 
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parkersbliss · 1 year
Text
your instagram when dating spencer reid
inspired by @/happiesthotch @/hotchaways :)
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Liked by garciagirlie, alexblake and 374 others
ssa(y/n) love his clown feet 🫶🏼
view all 27 comments
spencephd love her baby feet ❤️
rossisrotini I didn’t know they could be nice to each other
→ jjareau she texted me after posting this and said he slam dunked her with a pillow
→ ms_emilyp @/ssa(y/n) use two exclamation points if you need help
→ ssa(y/n) HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️
→ agenthotch wheels up in 20, you heard her
d.morgan oh to see pretty boys feet
→ ssa(y/n) my eyes only 😡😡
→ spencephd im not sure how to feel about this
→ garciagirlie I could get you photos of lots of feet
→ agenthotch I think we need to have a talk about this
→ garciagirlie i meant my feet with fresh new nail polish* 😁
→ agentahotch 😐
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liked by therealellew, jjareau and 427 others
ssa(y/n) pov garcia & morgan are on the phone
view all 33 comments
garciagirlie where’s my chocolate thunder
→ d.morgan right here baby girl 😏
→ spencephd we can’t escape them
→ ssa(y/n) but we can do worse ;)
→ ms_emilyp @/agentahotch do something about this
→ agenthotch no
rossisrotini I beg of you both to not become like them
→ spencephd now you’re just tempting us to do worse 🤷‍♂️
→ ssa(y/n) I await those glorious hands of yours, doctor
→ jjareau what have we started
→ ssa(y/n) ITS FOR A MASSAGE CHILL 😭
→ d.morgan could’ve fooled me tbh
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liked by itsmattsimmons, d.morgan and 503 others
ssa(y/n) someone didn’t pass the physical fit test
view all 17 comments
d.morgan is he looking for a trainer 👀👀
→ garciagirl no. never again with you.
→ spencephd literally leave
→ jjareau we’re doing just fine without you 😘
ms_emilyp reid looking to outrun his paperwork
→ ssa(y/n) more like reid running to catch some bitches
→ spencephd so I’m chasing after you?
→ ssa(y/n) 😡😡
agenthotch who’s not doing paperwork 🤨
→ rossisrotini exposed like the lazy kids you are
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liked by spencephd, agenthotch and 292 others
ssa(y/n) got my bitch <3
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Spencephd 😐
→ ssa(y/n) notice how you didn’t correct me
→ spencephd can’t even tie her own shoes smh
→ ssa(y/n) LMAOOO that’s what you’re for SIMP
garciagirlie the love birds are at it again
→ jjareau love birds sounds more like enemies these days
→ d.morgan isn’t that the fun in it?
→ ssa(y/n) yes, he literally just threw the shoe at my face 😇
rossisrotini @/agenthotch got another case for ya
→ ms_emilyp that’s the sound of the police reid 🚨
→ spencephd you know statistically, it takes the police an average of 7 minutes to get to the scene. I could be long gone by then.
→ d.morgan I can hear him through my phone
→ spencephd :)
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liked by alvarezluke, rossisrotini and 338 others
ssa(y/n) candid of my favorite nerd 🤭
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spencephd I’ve been exposed 😟
→ ssa(y/n) wanna be exposed in a different way?
d.morgan looks like we got competition @/garciagirlie
→ garciagirlie 😏 been exposed for years to you baby
ms_emilyp 🤢 I’m moving back to london fr
→ jjareau take me with 🙏🏼🙏🏼
→ garciagirlie GIRLS TRIP
→ ssa(y/n) LETS GO
→ ms_emilyp not you ❤️
rossisrotini 🥂 cheers you two but keep it in your pants
→ ssa(y/n) hard to when he’s this fine 😫
→ spencephd actually die
agenthotch this is what we call a hostile work environment
→ d.morgan you weren’t even there for that hotch
→ agentahotch I have my ways
→ garciagirlie please don’t bring back such traumatizing memories
→ jjareau clearly we need to have this conversation again
— END —
want to be tagged in future fics? click here!
read more here!
a/n finally got around to writing some criminal minds stuff 😫
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Text
25 𝐷𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑠
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Happy Holidays friends! Here's another monthly challenge! I'm super stoked to be making Christmas content for you all! This challenge was inspired by this post, so show her some love, because without her, there would be no ficmas! So, I hope you're ready for some kisses in the snow by your favorite characters! ☆
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1. Ornaments — Maggie Greene
2. Getting the Tree — Murphy MacManus
3. Decorating the Tree — Aaron Hotchner
4. Lending the Other Their Coat — Penelope Garcia
5. Going Ice Skating — Spencer Reid
6. Gingerbread House — Dean Winchester
7. Mistletoe Kiss — Emily Prentiss
8. Christmas Songs — Daryl Dixon
9. Cuddling when it's cold — Bucky Barnes
10. Christmas Lights — Tom!Peter Parker
11. Christmas Party — Spencer Reid
12. Christmas Movies — Aaron Hotchner
13. Kissing in the Snow — Daryl Dixon
14. Christmas Shopping — Bucky Barnes
15. Playing in the Snow — Rick Grimes
16. Christmas Socks — Daryl Dixon
17. Sledding — Wanda Maximoff
18. Baking — Sam Winchester
19. Wrapping Gifts — Rosita Espinosa
20. Sleigh Ride — Pre-Apocalypse!Glenn Rhee
21. Hot Chocolate — Spencer Reid
22. Snowed In — Emily Prentiss
23. Christmas Sweaters — Michonne Hawthorne
24. Christmas Eve — Wanda Maximoff
25. Proposing on Christmas — Daryl Dixon
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reidsc0nverse · 10 months
Text
pov: your instagram when dating spencer reid
inspired by @parkersbliss (theirs is so cute i love it go check it out)
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Liked by Kristy_Simmons, derekm and 173 others
(y/n) "i think they make me look cool" -the biggest nerd of all time
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spencerreid1 Firstly, I'm not THAT big of a nerd. Secondly, they do and I stand by that.
-> (y/n) ofc you do baby but i can't lie to you and say i'm wrong
-> derekm Anything you say pretty boy
-> emilyprenty spencer stop typing like an english teacher
-> (y/n) @/emilyprenty AHAHAHAHAHHA
-> spencerreid1 @/(y/n) :(
paparossi are those mine???
-> (y/n) no....
-> spencerreid1 y/n did it
-> (y/n) @/spencerreid1 WTH SNITCH
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(y/n) Penelope's Halloween party got lit asf ‼️
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princesspennyg seems like i was successful in my goal of getting boy wonder drunk 😌
-> (y/n) yeah thanks for that
-> spencerreid1 That was your GOAL?!
-> princesspennyg you have a serious stick up your butt sometimes 🙄
-> (y/n) tell me about it
AaronHotchner I'm so glad Jack wasn't around to see this
-> jjareau Don't worry there was a kiddy table for the boys so he could've come 🤷🏼‍♀️
-> princesspennyg i always think ahead 😇
-> (y/n) We're all great babysitters
-> AaronHotchner Not when you're all intoxicated
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Liked by jjareau, paparossi and 193 others
(y/n) He bought me a pair so we could match 🤭
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spencerreid1 It's only fair 🤷
-> (y/n) 🤍
derekm You guys are such dorks it's sickening
-> emilyprenty says the married man
-> (y/n) do i need to tag Sav??
-> paparossi the drama
-> derekm I take it back 🙄
emilyprenty that's cute and all but WHAT KIND OF SOCK IS HE WEARING
-> spencerreid1 They're stylish, Emily, leave me alone.
-> princesspennyg yknow i gave those to him 🥳
-> emilyprenty @/princesspennyg in that case then theyre great (i'm lying)
-> (y/n) it doesn't take a profiler to figure that out -> spencerreid1 You all suck.
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Liked by dr.taralewis, elle.greenaslay and 231 others
(y/n) the loml (plus spencer)
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emilyprenty i miss you sugarplum 😔
-> (y/n) @/emilyprenty i miss you more pookie bear 😪
-> spencerreid1 ???
-> jjareau how romantic
-> AaronHotchner Don't make me get PDA in here
-> spencerreid1 ⁉️⁉️⁉️
-> emilyprenty i took your bitch hoe
paparossi LOL
-> (y/n) thank you for your blessing
-> paparossi anytime
Okay that's it this is my first post sorry if it was bad lol but seriously go check out @/parkersbliss one it was so cute omg
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astrophileous · 6 months
Note
Derek giggling when Bug starts to waddle due to pregnancy 🤭 she doesn’t find it funny or endearing at all but he literally cannot stop watching her. He tells the team about it too and they just.. kinda smile and nod because they’re just happy that he is.
Somewhat a continuation of this other Love Bugs blurb. Thanks for the request love! (and apologies for the delay because I've been very focused on The Countdown lately)
Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist
Spencer stretched his back at the mysterious and unfamiliar sound. Next to him, JJ's eyes squinted in concentration.
"You hear that, too?" JJ mumured as she studied her surroundings, trying to pinpoint where exactly the sound was originating from.
Spencer nodded in confusion. "Who the hell—"
The question died in his throat when his eyes finally landed on the figure sitting across the room.
"No way." Spencer's elbow jabbed JJ's side, snatching her attention. "It's Morgan."
"Morgan? Derek Morgan?" JJ craned her neck to see around the partitions that blocked her direct line of sight. "What is he—don't tell me. Is he... is he giggling?"
As if confirming the ridiculous notion, Derek proceeded to cover his mouth and broke into, not laughter and not even a chuckle, but a series of giggles that made his broad shoulders shook. JJ and Spencer exchanged an incredulous look before they meandered sneakily towards him.
"Someone's happy," JJ quipped as she leaned back against the conference table, right next to where Derek was sitting.
The man in question looked up at the sudden interruption.
"What are you even watching in there?" Spencer asked curiously, trying to take a peek at the screen of Derek's phone that the latter man had been grinning at for the past few minutes.
Instead of tilting his phone away, Derek unexpectedly faced the screen towards his two coworkers instead, giving them an unobstructed view of what appeared to be a video of you.
"Penelope sent it to me." Derek grinned before pressing replay. "She waddles."
The video started playing then, showing a footage of you walking like a penguin as you struggled to carry the various snacks inside your arms. You looked up to the camera at the sound of Penelope's laughter, your face twisting into a pout when you noticed that it was pointed towards you.
"Peennn," you whined childishly. "Are you filming for him again?"
"He said he wants to see one where you waddle, Beets."
The scowl you were wearing was clearly visible through the screen. "Tell him to stop. It's not cute."
"I don't know." Penelope hummed. "It's pretty damn adorable from where I'm sitting."
The video ceased to black after that, and Derek retracted the device without ever wiping the smile off his face.
"You've been watching this for the past ten minutes?" Spencer questioned.
"Yeah."
The younger man looked as if he had something else to say, but he never got the chance to, as Derek was quick to immerse himself back in the video and watching it so earnestly as if it was the greatest movie in the history of mankind. Spencer and JJ shared a look before making themselves scarce. It was definitely weird seeing Derek act this way, but they didn't mind it one bit if it implied Derek's unadulterated happiness and your guaranteed safety.
For the rest of their stay in Louisville, Kentucky, the BAU became witness to Derek's blooming glee as it incessantly doubled in size with every video Penelope sent his way. More often than not, he'd let the team watch the videos as well. After all, they had also been missing your presence in their midst since you began your maternity leave, and every single one of them couldn't wait to finally welcome your baby boy into the world when the time finally came.
Derek was buzzing with excitement the moment they boarded the jet, impatiently counting down the minutes until he would see you again as the jet started its ascend. An hour before they were supposed to land, his phone began to ring in his pocket, flashing with the affectionate contact name that he had assigned for the team's tech analyst.
"Yeah, babygirl? What?" The sudden raising of his voice caught the attention of everyone on the jet. They watched from their respective seat as Derek sat up straight, running a frantic hand over his face. "Okay. Yeah? And how is she? That's good. Alright, thanks for calling. Keep me posted."
The call ended after that, and Derek, uncharacteristically, proceeded to sit in silence for the following minute as if he had been frozen in time.
"Everything okay?" Rossi asked, voicing the question that was circling everyone's mind.
"That was Penelope. It's (Y/N)." The atmosphere shifted. "She's going into labor."
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